#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Living In Thailand Forum >  >  Is his girlfriend's family trying to set him up?

## Sakeopete

I have been with my wife for ten years and watched her 4 y/o son grow to  be a young man. Now he is almost 15 y/o and popular with the ladies. He  has a girlfriend and has been going cuckoo like most young men that age  on a hormone roller coaster(and some older farts too LOL). Now my wife  and much of her family are afraid he might have sex with this girl and  her parents will start demanding money. They have seen our house and  know we are not poor so $$$$ may be flashing in their eyes.
Her mother seems to encourage them being alone often which is not normal in my opinion of something parents of a 14 y/o girl do. The girl is in my step son's class at school  and last week her grandmother came to the classroom and took a photo of  him. 

My wife says if the girl has sex with her son her mother may get the  police involved and the extortion begins. We have told our son to keep  it in his pants but no teenage boy could resit that opportunity. Being  that Thai men seldom support step children my wife could make it clear  to the girls mother that I will not contribute anything financially and  the police could not force me too as I am not the boys father.

Anyone have experience in this situation or thoughts on the matter. My  wife and I do have a 5 y/o son together so this situation could turn  ugly in 10 years when he grows up.

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## superman

I see a compensation claim pending.

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## Loy Toy

Nip it in the bud mate and if you have a good relationship with your stepson.

I have witnessed exactly the same shit before and the photo is a dead giveaway.

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## Sakeopete

We have warned him and he understands but how much pressure can a horny 14 y/o withstand from the little seductress.

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## Stinky

> I have been with my wife for ten years and watched her 4 y/o son grow to  be a young man. Now he is almost 15 y/o and popular with the ladies. He  has a girlfriend and has been going cuckoo like most young men that age  on a hormone roller coaster(and some older farts too LOL). Now my wife  and much of her family are afraid he might have sex with this girl and  her parents will start demanding money. They have seen our house and  know we are not poor so $$$$ may be flashing in their eyes.
> Her mother seems to encourage them being alone often which is not normal in my opinion of something parents of a 14 y/o girl do. The girl is in my step son's class at school  and last week her grandmother came to the classroom and took a photo of  him. 
> 
> My wife says if the girl has sex with her son her mother may get the  police involved and the extortion begins. We have told our son to keep  it in his pants but no teenage boy could resit that opportunity. Being  that Thai men seldom support step children my wife could make it clear  to the girls mother that I will not contribute anything financially and  the police could not force me too as I am not the boys father.
> 
> Anyone have experience in this situation or thoughts on the matter. My  wife and I do have a 5 y/o son together so this situation could turn  ugly in 10 years when he grows up.



 :rofl: 
Sorry but that's just so funny, you best bend over and lube up coz they're gonna go to town on your wealthy Farang arse, you're a marked man buddy  :Yup:

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## Travelmate

Leave the country

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## Fondles

Bring him to Pattaya and get him laid.

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## Sakeopete

Not a chance they know I'm not his father and no Thai man would fork out a satang for a step son. My wife will tell them the same she tells every vulture looking for a free meal. "My husband controls the money I no have, he say no" "Falang no understand"

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## The Master Cool

Sue them for harassing your son. Stalking him and taking photos.

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## Sakeopete

Hmmm take him to a local pro to get his rocks off, not a bad idea but then he might request it daily as a way to keep himself away from the school girls. Sorry have to pass on that idea Fondles.

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## Sakeopete

Maybe I should have my wife take a photo of the girl and demand money from her parent because she seduces our son and he can't concentrate on his studies.

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## Stinky

> Not a chance they know I'm not his father and no Thai man would fork out a satang for a step son. My wife will tell them the same she tells every vulture looking for a free meal. "My husband controls the money I no have, he say no" "Falang no understand"


If the lad knocks her up you'll have no choice other than to payout, her family will get the police involved and the lad will be in a world of shit until you payout, how's your wife gonna feel if you just hang her son out to dry?

Try this, it'll take the sting out of it  :Wink:

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## Sakeopete

If he knocks her up he will be marrying her like it or not. He can get a job and earn the sin sot.

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## kingwilly

Have you sat him down and talked about condoms ? Might be a good idea.

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## Travelmate

Try telling the boy he might hurt Mummy's feelings a lot if he ventures into other girl's arms

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## Sakeopete

> Have you sat him down and talked about condoms ? Might be a good idea.


He knows about condoms, the problem in the Thais eyes is the pre-marital deflowering.

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## Stinky

> If he knocks her up he will be marrying her like it or not. He can get a job and earn the sin sot.


Good way to deal with it, nice one  :Smile:

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## dirtydog

If he deflowers her you or your wife has to pay.

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## Travelmate

How much will they be asking.
Happened to a friend of mine.  :Smile:  was asked 70k. They got 20k and now they suffer looking after the baby. The father in question is too busy racing scooters at night with another girlfriend.

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## Pol the Pot

> Originally Posted by Sakeopete
> 
> 
> If he knocks her up he will be marrying her like it or not. He can get a job and earn the sin sot.
> 
> 
> Good way to deal with it, nice one


Getting her pregnant ain't the big deal, and of course your son will have to pay for it.

The big deal is taking her virginity.

Not sure if buying virginity is possible in Thailand as Butterfly has suggested. Try that.

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## dirtydog

> How much will they be asking.


Girlfriends nephew was 15 shagging some 15 year old girl, the girls family found out and demanded 50k baht, turned out it wasn't him who took her virginity so they didn't pay anything.

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## Rigger

Its the way all young guys get married in our village.

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## wefearourdespot

> My wife says if the girl has sex with her son her mother may get the police involved and the extortion begins


enjoy the world wide feminazi environment.

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## DrAndy

> enjoy the world wide feminazi environment.


you fool, this is exactly the opposite -  a society that has not yet developed any real equality

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## wefearourdespot

> Hmmm take him to a local pro to get his rocks off,


local pro cannot make sex with him, he is underage (again enjoy the crazyness of feminazi domination)

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## wefearourdespot

> Originally Posted by wefearourdespot
> 
> enjoy the world wide feminazi environment.
> 
> 
> you fool, this is exactly the opposite - a society that has not yet developed any real equality


What empowers the young girl and her family of voltures are feminazi laws "protecting" young girls from sex , actually giving them a weapon to scam men and young boys as well.

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## Stinky

> Originally Posted by Sdigit
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by Sakeopete
> ...


I'd have thought knocking her up would be much more damning, the family will want their cash for sure, if the lad can't pay up they will be on  to the step Farang father, I see a marrital looming.

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## Thormaturge

Take one of these around to the parents and insist their daughter wear it.



Either that or start chaperoning your son.

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## Norton

Dem whore moans is a bitch. Sure got me in plenty of trouble back in the day.

See lots of suggestions about the deflowering and knocking up issue but another twist to think about. If the family is scheming for deflowering pay out and none is forthcoming they may play the old rape card. Happened in the village here a few years ago. Girls family demanded deflowering money and the lads parents refused so family of the lass went to police and claimed rape. Police show up with family and cart the boy off to jail "pending trial". After a "bail" payment to the local BiB, the lad was released. Girls family informs the "rapists" family they will drop charges if appropriately compensated. Family was relatively poor and no way could pay the "appropriate" amount. Solution. The lad ran off to Bangkok got a job and didn't show his face anywhere near Roiet for five years.

Thinking it had all blown over, the young man came home for a visit. Big mistake. He was spotted by the family at the local market and they had the cops snatch him again. He is now clear but cost him 40,000 baht. All his savings and some borrowed.

Moral, keep them hormones in check because if you don't it's gonna cost ya one way or the other.

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## The Muffinman

Bloody 'ell, after reading all this I'm actually starting to feel sorry for these young bucks. 
I'd take him to Pattaya for the weekend, let him shag as many pro's as his blue balls can manage, tell him to do the same back home until he can afford to deflower a regular girl.

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## Sakeopete

> Originally Posted by nedwalk
> 
> 
> what about blowies?
> 
> 
> Best idea yet, get some pros round to blow him off, sorted, well done Ned


Hmmm maybe I will have to do a quality control trial with the pro's to see if their worthy of my step son.

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## sunsetter

> Sorry but that's just so funny, you best bend over and lube up coz they're gonna go to town on your wealthy Farang arse, you're a marked man buddy


twat



get the wife to go tell them its not your kid and theres no way your paying,pull the farang out of the deal now, letters to the police and family involved, no dough in the thai coffers and its fek all to do with you

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## Aussie Tigger

I have a 16 year old step son so I am a well aware of the pressure and the trouble that his hormones and a young girls willingness these days can get him into.I communicate though with my son and have explained to him how this can screw up his life and to wait.If your relationship with your wife is as good as you say she should join with you on a united front and convince him that his future lies in commonsense at this time.Explain to him man to man that his sexual relief can be achieved in other ways. Or if this is not on relocate him to the city where the village mentality is not as strong in this regard. Not an easy situation. Of course you could threaten him with a freaking hiding if all else fails.

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## wefearourdespot

> Explain to him man to man that his sexual relief can be achieved in other ways


You mean wanking ? He surely already knows that.

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## somtamslap

Get a descent internet connection and introduce the young fella to Scandinavian Lesbians On Heat...

An hour alone will leave a pair of barron testicles...

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## superman

> local pro cannot make sex with him, he is underage (again enjoy the crazyness of feminazi domination)


Consenting age is 14, I believe.

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## baby maker

_ .....try the bush remedy....works every time..._

*cut him....*

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## Spin

It must be ghastly to be so totally without morals that the parents of a female have to resort to cashing in on this kind of thing. Total scumbags. 

Is there anything these morons won't turn into an event to raise a bit of coin?

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## Stinky

Nope...

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## Loy Toy

If what the OP is suggesting is factual I would call the child welfare department as the poor daughter doesn't deserve and is better off without parents like that.

Fooking animals don't deserve a daughter.

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## OhOh

Has you stepson got any tattoos on his back, any distinguished marks etc.

Arrange for some posed pictures of her to be taken with another kid, no faceshot of the kid. Keep the pictures for insurance.

A couple of bottles of whisky should do it.

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## Marmite the Dog

Take both families to talk to the Phu Yai Baan and say if she doesn't keep her legs shut then it's not the fault of your step son.

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## billy the kid

really ,you need to chop his bollocks off
and feed them to the dogcatcher.
there's no other way i'm afraid.   :Smile: .

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## Tubtaywun

*Its probably more than you are looking for but maybe this place could give you some advice*

Center for Protection of Children's Rights Foundation (CPCR)
Address
Center for the Protection of Children's Rights Foundation (CPCR)
979 soi Charansanitwong 12, Charansanitwong Rd., Bangkokyai, Bangkok 10600, Thailand
Contact Information
If calling from Thailand:
Tel: 02 412 1196; 02 412 0739 
Fax: 02 412 9833
If calling from overseas:
Tel: +66 02 412 1196; +66 2 412 0739 
Fax: +66 2 412 9833
Website
www.thaichildrights.org | The Center for the Protection of Children's Rights Foundation (CPCR)
Email
cpcrheadoffice[at]yahoo.com
Activities
CPCR began its crusade to protect children's rights over twenty years ago in 1981. Although CPCR initially focused on assisting children who had been neglected, abandoned, physically abused or exploited through child labor, its area of involvement expanded in 1985. The Center became involved in combating the commercial sexual exploitation of children and started assisting young people who had been sexually abused or forced into prostitution. Today CPCR continues to work in all areas of *child abuse, neglect and exploitation.*

CPCR assists abused, orphaned, neglected or trafficked children and combats commercial sexual exploitation of children by legal and public relations means. CPCR runs three rehabilitation homes for children and young people rescued from trafficking. CPCR also provides scholarships, vocational training and prevention programs for young people at risk of entering the sex trade or at risk of being exploited for child labor.

The CPCR staff employs a multi-disciplinary approach to addressing child exploitation. In order to better deal with the different needs of children throughout the process of combating or coping with abuse, neglect or exploitation, CPCR is divided into four teams. The Prevention Team seeks to stop abuse before it occurs by educating the community and working directly with children and families. However, if abuse has occurred, the Protection Team moves in to remove the child from the family and work with the justice system to prosecute the abuser. Once the child is removed from the family, he or she is placed in the Assessment Unit's Gate House. If necessary, the child can then move to CPCR's Rehabilitation Shelters.

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## astasinim

> Take both families to talk to the Phu Yai Baan and say if she doesn't keep her legs shut then it's not the fault of your step son.



Good idea.

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## CaptainNemo

> we are not poor


Option 1. Send him to boarding school in England, for spankings and rugger... you never, know, he might make a good hooker?





> last week her grandmother came to the classroom and took a photo of  him.





> If the family is scheming for deflowering pay out and none is forthcoming they may play the old rape card. Happened in the village here a few years ago. Girls family demanded deflowering money and the lads parents refused so family of the lass went to police and claimed rape. Police show up with family and cart the boy off to jail "pending trial". After a "bail" payment to the local BiB, the lad was released. Girls family informs the "rapists" family they will drop charges if appropriately compensated. Family was relatively poor and no way could pay the "appropriate" amount. Solution. The lad ran off to Bangkok got a job and didn't show his face anywhere near Roiet for five years.
> 
> Thinking it had all blown over, the young man came home for a visit. Big mistake. He was spotted by the family at the local market and they had the cops snatch him again. He is now clear but cost him 40,000 baht.


Option 2. Invite them for a meeting... secretly record it, and later press charges for soliciting prostitution of a minor?





> Hmmm maybe I will have to do a quality control trial with the pro's to see if their worthy of my step son.





> Consenting age is 14, I believe.


Option 3. _Primae Noctis_ ...break his heart?

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## BobR

These are some incredibly disgusting people; essentially setting up their own daughter to make money off the deal.  Not the kind you would want to have any involvement with.   

Even the son should be able to see and comprehend that part.  If it did happen, I would prefer to spend the money on a good Bangkok lawyer and tell them to fook off.

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## nedwalk

> a 16 year old





> commonsense


i don,t these to terms equate in the theme of things when it comes to whats between their legs..i mean bloody hell i still struggle with mine...bloody thing has a mind of its own some days..

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## Thormaturge

> These are some incredibly disgusting people; essentially setting up their own daughter to make money off the deal.  Not the kind you would want to have any involvement with.


This is normal Thai behaviour, although the more "respectable" ones have learned to dress it up so as to seem less obvious.

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## Thormaturge

> Is there anything these morons won't turn into an event to raise a bit of coin?


No, absolutely nothing.

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## Thormaturge

> If what the OP is suggesting is factual I would call the child welfare


Child welfare could well have her on he game in no time, and get a decent price for her initiation.  After all she isn't their child and This is Thailand.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by BobR
> 
> 
> These are some incredibly disgusting people; essentially setting up their own daughter to make money off the deal.  Not the kind you would want to have any involvement with.
> 
> 
> This is normal Thai behaviour, although the more "respectable" ones have learned to dress it us so as to seem less obvious.


Normal Asian behaviour, you mean.

Daughters only have value if some chap is willing to pay for them either as a concubine or a wife depending upon the respective families' status (hence sin sot in Thailand).

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## Bung

Be careful here, A mates look krung son has a few girls mothers actually trying to facilitate shagging so they can get pregnant and be set up for life. It happens. The only way is to have a good relationship with your kids and try to get it not to happen. Fat chance, my 18 y/o stepson got a girl up the duff straight after having "the talk".

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## Thormaturge

> Originally Posted by Thormaturge
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by BobR
> ...


I agree, throughout Asia there is money to be made out of selling daughters, whether it be a dowry, prostitution, or simply slavery (even the bible permitted the sale of daughters into slavery).  Asians must be getting pretty fed up with all these NGO people trying to prevent them making a bit of money selling off the stock.

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## Tubtaywun

> Be careful here, A mates look krung son has a few girls mothers actually trying to facilitate shagging so they can get pregnant and be set up for life. It happens. The only way is to have a good relationship with your kids and try to get it not to happen. Fat chance, my 18 y/o stepson got a girl up the duff straight after having "the talk".



And how did it turn out Bung?

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## Spin

> Take both families to talk to the Phu Yai Baan


From what I've seen, out and about, the phu yai baan is normally the biggest dooshbag in a 50 km radius. I wouldn't let any daughter of mine anywhere near one.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> Take both families to talk to the Phu Yai Baan
> 
> 
> From what I've seen, out and about, the phu yai baan is normally the biggest dooshbag in a 50 km radius. I wouldn't let any daughter of mine anywhere near one.


I didn't know you had any daughters.

Anyway, despite the Phu Yai Baan being from often poor stock, that's how things are done in the sticks. I wouldn't rely on the Western version of justice being applied.

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## BobR

There is a time to walk away, and there is a time to run away.  This would be a good time to teach that to your stepson.  If her family dynamics are this sick now,  think about if he was ever married to this girl;  he would have lifetime nightmare of orbiting around her family.

The act of taking his  picture should be enough to make even a walking penis realize something is foul here.  Try to get him to drop her like 6th period English class. If he's that popular with the girls, he'll find a replacement quite quickly.

Most people who end up in nightmare relationships do so because they ignored the warning signs, which were present from the start, and before it was too late.  Good opportunity for your stepson to learn and the 2 of you to end up closer for the experience.

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## Thormaturge

Find him a nice katoey to practice on for a few years.

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## the dogcatcher

Some of the comments here show a fundermental misunderstanding of the culture.
Daughters are sold, they are a commodity and so are their snatches.
You will always get a better price from someone who has the ability to pay.
Restaurant next door to me is up in arms with a local land owner, 500 rai, cos his son has been porking their daughter. Hence she is now worth less, sin sot wise.
Obviously they want payback.
Personally I wouldn't pay her barfine. She is 13.
On a lighter note.

I was watching a Thai soap a while ago.
Papa had invited a young army officer round for diner who he thought would be a good husband for his virgin daughter.
You know it's big kudos to have army in the family.
After diner papa and the officer and the brothers start to drink Johnny heavily whilst the girls retired to the drawing room.
Subsequently the army boy falls asleep and mama and papa put him to bed in the daughters bed.
Next morning he wakes up next to the daughter just as the old man walks he.
The old man says "you fucked it you bought it son" in Thai of course.
The squady remembers nothing.

Now at this point I'm thinking, well, this is Thailand.
THEN, after 30 odd minutes of watching this and thinking this is a serious subject.
The bloody cupboard door busts open and an old woman who looks like the lead singer from Twisted fucking Sister jumps out.
Everybody points and shouts peeeeeeeeeeeee and comence running round the bedroom and falling over like some fucking Benny Hill sketch.

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## sunsetter

> Take both families to talk to the Phu Yai Baan and say if she doesn't keep her legs shut then it's not the fault of your step son.


 
well said, dimish the risk early on  :Smile:

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## Rural Surin

> If he knocks her up he will be marrying her like it or not. He can get a job and earn the sin sot.


Yes.....that's where the loans come in. Sin sot loans..... :mid:

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## English Noodles

> my wife could make it clear to the girls mother that I will not contribute anything financially and the police could not force me too as I am not the boys father.


Nice. I bet she wasn't in such a hurry to have you not contribute anything to the upbringing of the boy who you are not the father of. ROFL

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## Stinky

> my wife could make it clear to the girls mother that I will not contribute anything financially and the police could not force me too as I am not the boys father.


If your stepson does knock her up wouldn't it be your moral obligation to help the girl and your new grandchild out finacialy? 
The girl herself will be in no possition to help herself out and her parents sound like typical on the bones of their arse peasants. 

No I'm afraid it's all on you buddy, You Da Man, enjoy  :Wink:

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## Lancelot

> Nip it in the bud mate and if you have a good relationship with your stepson.
> 
> I have witnessed exactly the same shit before and the photo is a dead giveaway.


The mother encouraging them to spend time alone is a red flag. Agree with LT, you might want to have a heart to heart chat with your step son.

Best of luck to you.

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## Butterfly

> Some of the comments here show a fundermental misunderstanding of the culture.
> Daughters are sold, they are a commodity and so are their snatches.
> You will always get a better price from someone who has the ability to pay.
> Restaurant next door to me is up in arms with a local land owner, 500 rai, cos his son has been porking their daughter. Hence she is now worth less, sin sot wise.
> Obviously they want payback.
> Personally I wouldn't pay her barfine. She is 13.
> On a lighter note.
> 
> I was watching a Thai soap a while ago.
> ...


 :rofl:

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## Sakeopete

> Originally Posted by English Noodles
> 
> 
> This is a 14-year-old school girl who is friends with a boy. People on here have made her out to be a whore and a prostitute.
> 
> 
> Ain't it so ? how would you call a girl who's trying to seduce a boy in order to scam money from his farang stepfather ?


Honestly I don't think my stepson's girlfriend has a clue what her mother (no father) and grandmother have in mind. They just are 14 y/o kids struck with puppy love.

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## Tubtaywun

This is another new one for me. My boy is only 3 and I am happy to have learned about it well in advance ....not sure that will make a great difference though.

If it was me, I would want to go meet the family to see what kind of people they are. If they happen to be good people, It may be better for your stepson and the girl stay together for a few years ....it could keep him out of trouble. But i would talk to my Thai friends first for their opinion.

If it had happened already and I was getting demands i would assemble a few friends and some family to go to her family to negotiate a deal, the fact that you are not the father and not responsible could be brought up in the negotiations. The conversation should start off talking about how good the couple are together. Make sure  to point out that they were both consenting and get them to admit that first. That should be easy to do at the start when relations are still good and before money is talked about....if they are greedy they may say anything to get the money. Record the conversation to protect your son from the rape charge in case negotiations do not go well. From what I have seen your team will negotiate with people who represent the girls family over a few drinks and if they are decent people deals are normally easily struck.

If not ....at least you have got the family to admit that they were both consenting but dont tell them about the recording and your stepson will soon see what kind of people he is getting involved with.

Make copies!!!

Best of luck.

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## Pol the Pot

What if you just tell them to fuck off and keep their daughter in the house as that is where a good Thai girl is supposed to be anyway?

Go on the offensive!

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## Stinky

That would be kidnaping or false imprisonment , you're a bad bunny Poi the Pot

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## DrAndy

> are feminazi laws "protecting" young girls from sex


strange those laws are usually made by men; enlightened men, sure, but men all the same

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## donald36

My wife had a brother of 17 ish screwing this 13 year old ---her mother came round to my wife demanding 100.000 baht or she would go to the poilice --wifes reaction --it will do my brother some good to have a spell inside --not my problem--next offer was 10,000baht --response --not a single pubic hair ---they married had a baby and brother as is traditional pissed off --admittedly after he caugfht her bonking a friend ---if you9your wife) really means its not your problem it wont be

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## Milo

> Be careful here, A mates look krung son has a few girls mothers actually trying to facilitate shagging so they can get pregnant and be set up for life. It happens. The only way is to have a good relationship with your kids and try to get it not to happen. Fat chance, my 18 y/o stepson got a girl up the duff straight after having "the talk".


Mate of mine's (Thai) brother-in-law got his bird up the duff, family wanted 30k Sin-sot. He didn't have it, Mal wasn't about to pay for B-i-L's stupidity, though of course the family asked for a 'loan'  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):  2 years in the monkey house instead for the lad. 
Came out quite a decent carpenter, he was bladdy useless when he went in!!  :rofl:

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## MakingALife

From what I have seen here in my small town and within my extended THAI family, with my maids family There have been at least 7 incidents were under age girls who were discovered to be having sex with boys.  In every case the girls family collected money or gold for that indiscretion.   

In two cases boys were jailed until bail was paid,  then later a deal was struck.   Prices typically involved for all the girls were around  40,000 to 50,000 Bhat or the equivalent in Gold - either as hush money, or to drop charges, or to accept as an engagement token,  even if the relationship ended.   It was compensation in one form or another.

In one of the cases a girl was putting out to a bunch of different boy friends.   One Saturday night became a private drunken party, with the girl doing a whole group of 10 boys.  Unfortunately she was caught sneaking back into her house drunk and stupid by her parents.    They got the story out of her,  took her to the hospital for a medical report citing excessive intercourse.   They got the names out of the girl, and pressed the 10 families,  pushing for 50,000 from each.    

Guess what - They got the pay off from each family.   They were seriously going to press for arrest and conviction if the boys family did not pay.    One persons family affected by this incident had to mortgage their land t get the money to pay - to keep that grandson of theirs out of Jail.  It was a shitty deal that a set of 70 years olds had step up to,  to keep save the day for that family.

The whole issue is a dirty business and the families of most underage girls know how to dictate terms.   The families often can prevent such issues if they want to. When they allow it to happen,  it is usually by conscious intention.     

My best advice is to get to know the family and  try to steer the relationship on a solid traditional ground - respecting courtship traditions.   The fact that Grandma is photographing them together, and the parents are encouraging the girl to spend time in private.  These are pretty big flags. All smells fishy.  

 My step son was recently engaged in my town, and exactly the opposite pattern played out - There was no encouraged contact - until a formal engagement was completed.   But the girl is 19 and the step son is 23.  

In the case of the original thread started here.... There is a strong chance that the girls family are actively hedging their position, and looking for a windfall if sex starts taking place and they find out about it.  

They are  obviously counting on the fact that your wife will pay money, if their daughter ends up in a situation with this step son.    They know that up to that point its all bull shit and posture in the dialogue they share with the step sons mother.      

Because once the police come to and arrest the 14 or 15 year old boy.   They will have your wife's undivided attention, and be in the driver seat to broker a wind fall   
out of your wife to keep her son out of jail. 

It does not matter that a traditional Thai will not pay to bail out a step son from such a situation.    

You are not a tradition Thai.   You are a deep pocket FARANG,  and the girls family is rolling the dice a bit,  but probably recognize that your wife has some financial influence, because it will be her son that faces incarceration.

Regardless of what you wife tells them.   They are smart enough to know they can make a windfall out of it,  if the situation gets sticky enough, and they play it well.   

The family also probably realized that regardless of outcome,  the girl in question will  have other relationships before she reaches the age of maturity.  So they will not lose,  nor will she loose, even if the current relationship outcome goes bad.


REGARDING YOUR STEPSON

When you assist or give feed back regarding future courtships or serious relationships...  You have to keep some thoughts in play.   

Obviously He should look for a good girl with reasonable ethics and morals.   

But the important issues for long term economical survival and family establishment and family independent living are: 

1) Girls Family land holdings.   As it is typical that the young man and his wife will either inherit  or be given land holdings from the girls family.   If the family does not have much land -  It leaves the couple more tied to outside work, and unable to build a good family base. This is why girls who's family have larger land holdings are paid more for the marriage dowery

2) The girls family.   Their ethical basis and general tendencies.   There are a lot of families that have strong gambling biases, or other corrosive issues that make for an unhappy and unstable life.   The family polarizes with drama over dysfunction levels, and it often manifests in immature behaviors.  Those behaviors are disruptive to the extended family, and you need to screen the principals in those families for those  tendencies, and get a little history of the family dynamics at work.

You will be very likely have contact with that new family again and again - You want folks with good ethics that you can have reasonable hope to trust

3) The sons role in the girls family.   Typically the son will be asked to join the girls family and live in their home. The son will be expected to help with the family farming chores,  and as well to work and bring in money.   If the wife family home is small -  They will still be expected to share it,  until some point they have to earn funds available to build their own home.    The alternative to this is that they both move to a different location and take jobs.

These are not small considerations,  but have to weight in to that process.

I have one guy who did my tile work on a project and some other work items.    He and his wife, with (3) children were kicked out of the wife's family home,  because the aging parents (in their late 60's) did not like the way they couple planted their rice.     The guy showed up at 11 PM (on a rainy night) looking to borrow two sheets of old roof to make lean to for his family on their land.  This was near the start of last rainy season.  They lived in their field under two sheets of roofing for the last 8 months till the couple earned enough to start building their own home.   Putting their daughter and husband  with 3 small kids out into the elements is not logical or kind thing to do.      

I have another  guy who works for me on occasion.   He previously worked out of the country for 10 years and who has returned and wanted to position to marry his steady girlfriend.   Despite good earnings overseas he never accrued a lot of savings to move his life forward.  He married his wife  a year ago, and now have a baby girl.    The girls family have a small house and almost no land holdings.   This guy  had to rent a one bedroom flat 4 houses down from the girls family.    The family only has a small subsistence patch of rice land.   About enough to perhaps take care of the new mouths to feed.  

This guy is scrambling now and uncomfortable because there is really no farming or family growth potential  connected to his wife's family,  not even a piece of land for them to build upon inherit.   So essentially there is no family collective work open either for him.

He came to my wife today asking if he could put in a sesame seed crop in one of our fallow fields, awaiting the rice season.   Hoping to make some money, exchanging an offer to prep the other three fields from  sesame.     I will likely accept his generous offer,  because he needs the help and is a good worker when we have project work

The guys older brother also married into a family another girl whose parents have no land holdings, other than a small rice field.    He and his wife have two children and they struggles for subsistence.   I asked him to consider assisting with a project for me 2 months ago, and he said he could not get free from his sugar cane cutting and can not jeopardize losing that job, because its all he has for income until the next cane cutting season.   

For working folks without university educations or trade skills.  Land holdings or business interests are significant and important for long term prosperity in Thailand.  

When your step son is eventually looking for a wife - You should be prepared to offer guidance on these basic economic fundamentals.   It sounds simple,  but many don't consider these things in enough detail

My wife and I have talked about these things at length and she has appointed me of the traditions that apply in the provinces, and the basic facts of living and  family formation.   Considerations that are not obvious a first, especially in the minds of young people, so it is up to the older adults to offer guidance even if it is not taken. 

These item aren't the whole story by any means,  but must be part of a screening process,  which is not much different than westerners practice.    

Here in Thailand these considerations are more important   because of the stronger family  connections and associations that develop with the family.  They are also important because of the difficulty  most couples face to become established.    The stepping stones to that process here are more difficult here than in western life. 

Girls from poorer families are played by their family in some cases,  through that process of encouraging under age involvement to reap rewards.  The girls can fish, and if they connect to families with more social status or higher resource levels -  The green lights are given to the process.   Because the girls  family have no downside in the equation to worry about.

Yes it is a very self centered opportunistic attitude on the part of the girls family -  But it is  fact of life, which I have seen play out in my town and with friends families that I know here.  

The original person who started this thread, needs to play this very cautiously and get that step son to recognize his exposure.   Unfortunately that is also the age where many people don't like to take advice,  especially when both young people are falling in love.  Don't expect the most intelligent choices will be made.  Ensuring that he is capable of managing safe sex if its going to happen ...  It probably the best advice you can offer....    

Best of luck with this.  Get closer to that family.  If they fall short in many areas - That can be leveraged to reduce the influence in that relationship.  Again these are touchy subjects.  

Good to put this thread out there,  because its one that can impact a lot of Thai / Farang mixed families.

  Pat

----------


## the dogcatcher

That's too lomg a post MAL.
Personally I charge 10,000 baht per 1cc of semen.

----------


## Milo

Sage words indeed MaL, pretty succinct, thanks!

----------


## Milo

> That's too lomg a post MAL.
> Personally I charge 10,000 baht per 1cc of semen.


I'm in deficit then...  :rofl:

----------


## the dogcatcher

> Originally Posted by the dogcatcher
> 
> 
> That's too lomg a post MAL.
> Personally I charge 10,000 baht per 1cc of semen.
> 
> 
> I'm in deficit then...


Solly,
I was full.

----------


## Milo

> Originally Posted by Milo
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by the dogcatcher
> ...


On that note, g'night. Mine'll be in luck for her paltry ration, "make the most of it flower" Lol!!

----------


## thrilled

i'm glad i'm older,kids are grown.It sounds like A messed up situation.

----------


## MakingALife

> That's too lomg a post MAL.
> Personally I charge 10,000 baht per 1cc of semen.


Indeed,  It wassssssss  a loooooong g post....  My brain was spinning from all of pretty horrifically crappy things that happened in this area.... That surfaced in the small group of folks that I connect to.   I will work on trying to condense better

tks.

----------


## Tubtaywun

I am getting a bit confused.

I was under the impression from the OP that this money was being asked for the loss of virginity of the girl ...

Some seem to be talking about a dowry

Some seem to be implying that money has to be paid if the two have a shag

Some if the girl gets pregnant

Are these all the same thing ... basically an unregistered marriage and the payment is the same as a dowry or are they seen by Thais as different things altogether?

----------


## MakingALife

> I am getting a bit confused.
> 
> I was under the impression from the OP that this money was being asked for the loss of virginity of the girl ...
> 
> Some seem to be talking about a dowry
> 
> Some seem to be implying that money has to be paid if the two have a shag
> 
> Some if the girl gets pregnant
> ...



You are correct - It can be confusing.

I agree with you the original post seemed to speak about loss of virginity as the issue.

the incidents I see connected  were mostly about under age girls,  after becoming sexually active, and later geting caught by parents, or either giving up the name of the boy, or with the family fully aware, and action was taken only when it was clear that sex wa taking place.  

The parents obtained compensation by leveraging the law in the situation.  

One of the incidents with 10 boys and one girl -  The parents were pressing based on a claim of forced rape  which is likely more serious and why they were able to collect from all 10 families.

I interjected the considerations about marriage and the traditions related to girls family and abrief comment abou dowry- because  I quite a number who married without looking,and the guys ended up with a tough life situation shaping up.    These items mentioned were off topic per say,  but relevant to  courtship selection that is connected in a backgrond way to the topic of how to counsel the boy who may be facing that kind of onslaught.

Hopefull folks more knowledgable than my antidotal info will speak up and carify if there are distnctions under the law that apply here.

Thanks

----------


## albarb

Interesting scenario - will be following it with interest, but hoping for a "good outcome" for the stepson....

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## dutara

> It must be ghastly to be so totally without morals that the parents of a female have to resort to cashing in on this kind of thing. Total scumbags. 
> 
> Is there anything these morons won't turn into an event to raise a bit of coin?


I agree, this is pretty damned low.  I'm not insensitive to poverty, but there is a difference between eating out of the trash and wanting money for a new motobike.

Maybe they should bring the girl to Pattaya and sell her virgin session to a farang.  This is no more foul than the stunt they are trying to pull with this boy, only more up front.

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## LooseBowels

Why dont you take the chance and let him get on with it.

Who knows, when push comes to shove he might realise he's gay and wap it up her ringpiece.   :dev+ang:

----------


## Tubtaywun

> the incidents I see connected were mostly about under age girls, after becoming sexually active, and later geting caught by parents, or either giving up the name of the boy, or with the family fully aware, and action was taken only when it was clear that sex wa taking place.


Under age in thailand is up to 15 years.     So they are different!!

Sex with an under age girl... if a girl gets pregnant .... then marriage .... maybe all with different girls....so basically when the boy reaches that age in 11 years I better be loaded or I'm fooked!!!

Have to contact the architect...I need a concrete bunker ready for battle...not a house :Smile:

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## sabang

A degree of sispicion is warranted, perticularly if the kid is from the 'better' family, but at the end of the day Thai parents want their children to marry well too, and in traditional Thai culture they like 'em to marry young.

So maybe they are just encouraging the relationship because they like the kid and (of course) his 'good' family, and would love them to settle down and produce heaps of rug rats. There is no concept of 'too young' or 'puppy love' attached- that is western thinking. Has anyone asked the kid what he thinks??

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## Deerculler

Tell the parents of the girl that you want two seperate doctors reports stating that she is still a virgin. And you choose a doctor and they do the same. But in the eyes of the law she is still underage.

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## Deerculler

Sabang, Tradition or not. The girl is still looked up on as a cash cow. Some parents will try it with the same girl as many times as they can. Sad but true.

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## MakingALife

> A degree of sispicion is warranted, perticularly if the kid is from the 'better' family, but at the end of the day Thai parents want their children to marry well too, and in traditional Thai culture they like 'em to marry young.
> 
> So maybe they are just encouraging the relationship because they like the kid and (of course) his 'good' family, and would love them to settle down and produce heaps of rug rats. There is no concept of 'too young' or 'puppy love' attached- that is western thinking. Has anyone asked the kid what he thinks??


Sabang,

Your balanced view is worth a lot of consideration,  because it supports the good ethic present in good families as well.

Without laboring the details,  My step son and his girl are engaged.   A marriage is planned for June or so and it is up to the girls family to set the date and coordinate.  My step son will have his funding in order at that point as well.

The process has been slow, with lots of private discussions between my wife and the girls parents.  All long the way - those discussions were dignified, patient, tactful, and they have mapped everything from the dowery to  all of the concerns raised -  to ensure the very best helping hands  give this couple a good start on building a life together.

So with many families -  Good intentions prevail.   There is no under age issue involved here, as the girl is 19 and my step on is several years older then her.  But lack of that concern, still allows all good intentions to flower.   

It is important to say,  regardless of the  ages involved - no engagement - her family made very clear no courtship would be permitted.  The girls family would not allow it.  

Her father said that its his only daughter,  and engagement protects her honor - even if the pair decide they do not want to marry.   

Very good and honorable reasons for her fathers  insistence that engagement comes before serious courtship.   So ethics in many families are alive and well,  just as they can prove to be scarce in other families.

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## Pranburi10

Be a man and cut his weener off. Save a lot of money in the future. :yerman:

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## Sakeopete

Slow down people you guys are making too many assumptions that are not based on fact. Since I  posted the facts I should know. The kids have not done anything. The grandmother came to my step son's class room and took a photo of him by himself. I guessing she had plans for a big payout. 

The kids are not seeing each other because we moved my step son to grandma's house. Among other things he decided to steal his moms car while we were in Bangkok to go see this girl at her house. We found out and sent a relative to retrieve the car. 

We have given him many chances for the misdemeanors he has done but that was the last straw. He didn't know how to drive and could have killed someone. He knows that if he gets in trouble with the police I will not pay his way out in fact he knows if it was up to me he would be in jail for stealing his mother's car.

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## MakingALife

Sakeopete,

Wow, Good luck -  You have done the right things, but probably going to have your hands full for a while.  

I went through a roller coaster ride, with my 19 year old son, in a former marriage, who pulled a lot of stunts related to a girl.  Stealing his mothers car etc, running away with the girl....  The girl was 17 when it all started, and the girl was a very active participant encouraging all events.  She did not like high school, or living home with her parents, and my son was her way out of both situations.

The girl mushroomed into legal issues for my son,  that were delicate and expensive to resolve.   I was away on a 3 month  assignment when these events related to the girl, cars, running away together etc - went down.  I had to sort it all out and run damage control when I returned home.   It was a 6 month process to manage the legal process for my son.  It took every bit of creativity I had to keep my son out of jail,  for the trouble he got into directly related to this girl.  

No amount of logic or reasons in shared or separate discussions with my son,  could get him to realize that he was being played badly by this girl.  Picking someone to play house with - which was her easiest path to being entertained, get plenty of sex, and getting ride of things she didn't like in her life.   

As a stop gap  I relocated my son 1500 miles away to live with my brother and his wife.   As you have done to get him away from this girl and her influences.    

It lasted 2 weeks, because this girl got to him over the phone call, and with daily letters, to get him to return back to his area.   Even though he already had job offers in his new location.  

The experience with this girl ruined his college career because he dropped out to take a job and get an apartment for her and him.   

My wife was totally unglued by all the developments, at the fringe of sanity many times.   She filed for divorce, and created a real vendetta against this girl, and held a real vendetta to break the pair up.  No attempts made, could alter the wife's plans on these tracks.  

My position was that the young kids made their choices (even with advice offered).  There was little to be done except to support them along their path and let them live out their own lives.  With the only real worthy issue being to manage my sons legal issues.   

The girl was  approaching 18 and my son 20, and it became clear they were working on their life together.  

It took 6 months to successfully manage my sons legal issues to good resolution.  My wife thought Jail would be good for him.  I held a different opinion.  Jails are made to lock up dangerous people and sociopaths.  Not to incarcerate 19 year olds,  caught up in a new love relationship,  and getting caught up wanting to see the girl, after parents involved said no.  

A year later,  The couple had a baby and struggled along with all that to get by.  I was out of the picture by then, working and living 1000 miles away, and managing the divorce process.   

I had to take the frantic calls from the young couple, when my divorcing wife was starting a campaign to take their baby, involving social services and a lot of fabrication.   She took the baby on Sunday, and refused to return it, and grand stand against local police squad cars called to her residence, refusing police orders, and awaiting a social service emergency worker to arrive...  

The couple endured a full social service evaluation and got their baby back with no issue in 3 days.  But a lot of bad blood and an open hostile environment was created by those actions.  

The young couple were afraid at how easily ex was able to easily overturn their lives and impact their baby only months old. 

I told the kids this issue was part of my wifes agenda and that it wasnt going away.  I got the couple some legal consultations to find some defensive strategies against future invasive events on my divorcing wife's part.  The lawyer advised the couple to relocate, because there was no effective defense against future issues arising related false claims against child welfare issues.    

I sent my son and is girl friend 4000 dollars, to enable them to relocate, find a new apartment, and find new work out of that state.   I told them they could not afford to wait,  based on the lawyers advice.  I offered to put them up temporarily at the house I was renting a large home.  If they wanted to do that, as an easy stop gap.  

Unfortunately the girl waffled and dragged her feet about not wanting to leave her "school aged" friends in the area, and the ex wife was able within weeks to start multiple different family court proceedings related to that grand child.  Exactly the kind of crap that the lawyer had warned them could take place.  In fact my divorcing wife took pleasure is serving the family court service process on the couple personally !!!  The law allows anyone to serve process papers in the state they were residing.   I still cant fathom it at times thinking about it...     

The couple were forced to stay in the area because of the family court proceedings.  My wife in a few months of additional informational affidavits signed,  was able to parlay the family court custody proceedings into a multiple ficticious issues.   She was able to get the baby removed from the home,  pending the court process and custody resolutions.   The baby was placed with her 30 YR OLD niece who could never have children.   In the end the EX brokered a plea bargin of the kids permanently  placing their child up for permanent adoption - to avoid any further explorations that could result in criminal charges.   Give up the baby, and the issues go away.   What a deal.....   

She leveraged the court to place the baby with her niece and nieces husband (who cant conceive), and steered their adoption process to completion - leveraging her own grand parent rights.  

It was a grand tour de force action by the ex..., horrifically wrong and baseless, but well designed to exploit the laws, and destabilize the couple, and ensure a grand child would remain within a few miles of my ex wife's residence.  

The young folks were struggling financially (on one low wage salary), and not yet married.  Those are two strikes against any young family in the eyes of most US states.  Nothing seldom comes from that alone, unless there is an outside related party who has a different agenda for the baby.  Then it gets very sticky very fast.

The process split the young couple pretty horrifically.   Even though I warned them months before - What I saw as a well shape agenda beginning.   They stupidly were not able to side step the process.   Even with solid legal advice and money in hand -  The blew their opportunity, and got taken down.   The witch ex - one hands down on all her agenda's.    

Leaving both young people to pick up the pieces of their lives, and try to move on, dealing with the loss of their baby, and the break up of their relationship.

I wont go into the rest of it, but both young people were successful in moving on and living their own separate lives.   Both are living successful lives, older and a lot more wiser..  

I mention my personal experience.  Just to show how unpredictable events can become,  related to young people and the budding relationships they may hold.  

These events (related to young peoples relationships) have a way of potentially polarizing many groups involved.   Even separation has large risk of failing, as most young people see themselves as mobile and ready to do what ever they want to do,  not what others want.   If parents dont agree on a shared mutual agenda,  that alone doubles the tension and complexity.   Add in unforeseen legal issues,  and a real handful of issues are created.

Things to keep in mind, as pitfalls,  because it may take a few different solutions before this relationship issue with your stepson has run its course.   

For me, my own experience is water under the bridge.  I pitched it the best way I knew how, and have no regrets about the larger outcomes.   

Trying to be the voice of reason, and keeping my son out of Jail.  Which I was successful in bringing together,  with the support of a good lawyer.

The only regret that I have from my experience is the shit that got dumped on the young folks with their baby.  It was unfortunate and unneeded. 

The pair will live with the "Baggage" of those things for the rest of their life.   Sadly to reflect at how the grandmother of their baby - cast a wide legal net and a vote of no confidence in both them, by her actions to trump up issues for the family court, and getting both of them to fold at crunch time.   Driving out their will to fight, because financially they could not afford to keep a car on the road,  let alone prepare defenses.   High handed malfeasance,  and the older both yung people become, the more obvious the game played will become clear.   They have to live with what was done to them, and the extinguishing of their first attempt at a family.

Again,  You are doing all the right things,  just realize that i can easily become much more complicated that people who frame life by normal logic can realize.

----------


## Butterfly

^ jerry springer material here,

----------


## MakingALife

Butterfly..... 

You know what....  You are exactly right !!    What I had to deal intermittently (over a 3 year span) with a difficult situation probably would have fit the Springer screening profile.     

My ex wife in that same time period, mastered scorched earth tactics, guided by a lazy low life lawyer.  She put "scorched earth tactic in play for  anything that looked out of reach of winning in her divorce claims.  It took a lot of thinking on my part, pretty far outside the box, to trump the divorce process and get out reasonably intact.  Most of the valuable elements deployed did not come from my $ 350 per hour legal team either.

I now look at most lawyers who take matrimonial cases, as uncontrolled infectious disease, sprung from the lab and airdropped on humanity.  Laying traps for the unsuspecting, using fear to manipulate clients and the process, and skull f'king the last nickel they can get from whom ever pockets they can get their hands into.   Its never a win-win for them, always a win-lose  frame  work overlay-ed on every point of strategy pursued.  Its stylized Kabuki theater, played out in postures and sworn statements that are seldom vetted for truth even in the end game.  With zero penalty for getting caught making false statements.   Divorce is not a criminal process, its only regulated by laws.  Therefore there is considerably more latitude given to any affidavits filed and weak evidential standards applied in almost all cases.    Anyone who's been through a shitty D, knows I speak the truth about that process.    

I've move on with my life, and most of problems from that period are well out of my thinking at this point.   Comments from the OP, about his a step son he has known for a decade, an the boys antics made my head spin.   Because all the crap shit and hoops I had to jump through came flooding back to into my thoughts as well. 

Folks who read my post and think -  Shit - that post cant be true...  What an imagination !!!... Be aware that lots of "off the hook" shit was left out.  Go ahead and form what every opinion fits your comfort level.   The Jerry Springer analogy was a good one.... 

I'm not selling anything and want no sympathy.  Living through it and putting my best foot forward, and minimizing damage is the reward I take from what was otherwise a pretty unpleasant and  bad experience.      

Cheers  

M.A.L

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## the dogcatcher

Mal
Keep it short mate.
But, yeah to the other poster.
Went to a Laos wedding to other week.
Girl was "sold" as a virgin. 14 years old.
Was she fuck a virgin, I saw a birth contol pills in her bag 6 months ago.

----------


## the dogcatcher

BTW.
Sin sot 6000 quid.

----------


## the dogcatcher

Engagement before courtship?
Starting to sound expensive.

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## MakingALife

> BTW.
> Sin sot 6000 quid.





> Engagement before courtship?
> Starting to sound expensive.


Ouch !!!!   That's pretty pricey.

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## farmerfloyd

Take him to Pattaya every so often and he wont fall in love,  as so many young kids do with their first lovers.   After 3 yrs they get divorced and 2 kids and big
 child support payments for 21 yrs.   much cheaper to go to Pattaya and get
some girls under his belt,  Then he can start thinking with his big head.

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## Sakeopete

Don't need to take him to Patters plenty of whores here for Thai clientele. Seriuosly though a 500 Baht whore could save him a whole lot of trouble in the future. Mind you he will also know what he's been missing and that could make things worse.

----------


## MakingALife

> In one of the cases a girl was putting out to a bunch of different boy friends.   One Saturday night became a private drunken party, with the girl doing a whole group of 10 boys.  Unfortunately she was caught sneaking back into her house drunk and stupid by her parents.    They got the story out of her,  took her to the hospital for a medical report citing excessive intercourse.   They got the names out of the girl, and pressed the 10 families,  pushing for 50,000 from each.    
> Guess what - The girls family got the pay off from each family.    They were seriously going to press for arrest and conviction if the boys family did not pay.....


Here is the short update on that girl with the 10 young men.    

We have guests in for the Songhran holiday, and we invited 3 local couples to stop in for drinks. One couple was the mayor and his wife.  Another was the town business manager and his wife.  The third couple was part of my wifes extended family in town.      After a couple of hours of drinks and conversation a vocal conversation erupted.   

Here is the update on that earlier incident I had mentioned.   And another new incident that has taken place as well.   Both are eye opening....

One of the ladies in the group that came to our home was the mother of one if the young men involved in an gang bang incident.   -  Her son was involved in the group of 10 young men who were fingered by the girl they all had sex with.   This woman's family grouped together with 6 other families and retained a lawyer - They all as well paid the 50,000 B per family and used the lawyer to be sure the hush money was handled properly and the protocols were followed  with police and statements made by the girl.   Three other families from the same incident pooled together for a lawyer as well and also paid the 50,000 hush money.    The girl signed new statements in front of police - saying it was not a rape, and that she and her family had been compensated.    

The woman at our party -  Had become very upset, explaining that she had just gotten a notice from the court giving her a surrender day  - to bring her son to the court house, where he would be taken into custody and begin serving a 7 year sentence.   The new mayor was at our party as well,  so he asked to see the document.   She left and returned with it.  

It was a court order advising of a sentence given,  and citing a lack of adequate response to the charges causing the sentence to be given out.     The woman didn't know what to do.   So the Mayor advised her to see her lawyer and inquire what happened to the signed statements made by the girl - saying it wasnt a rape and that compensation had been paid.

Long and short of it.   The woman and her husband met with their lawyer who had little to say.  He apparently circulated some signed documents with the court, but without prevailing.     

The girl who was originally forced to go to the emergency room for an exam after the incident.  Caused a medical report to be entered into evidence.  As well her Parents pressed police into making the formal charges,  when the boys families denied any knowledge of the event.   Strongly worded statements were originally made to police and as well the emergency medical report was made part of the record of evidence.   

Even though the families tried to buy their way out, and paid...  And the girl made signed statements changing her story.  The court did not waive justice under the law.    They passed 7 year sentences for all the boys involved  (all 10... 7 represented 1 lawyer,  3 represented by another lawyer).   

At the end of this past week (on the 7th)  these young men were surrendered to the court system and started serving 7 year sentences, for a rape conviction.   

It is a double travesty on justice,  because it wasn't a rape to start with,  and the families paid fat coin to the girls family, and as well to the lawyers involved.   The court chose to rule on the strength of the medical report and the first statements given to the police.   Disregarding the second set of statements provided by the girl after moneys were paid.      The woman involved runs a small store, and my wife sees her almost every day,  so the follow up about these events came to my wifes attention yesterday.  

At our little party -  The mayor said he recently dealt with a very similar incident in the town.  Just a month ago.....  It involved a girl in town,  and 12 boys from the ban 7 Km away.  The "rape" took place there in that town.   It was on the school grounds well after hours in a small outbuilding.      The girl started in boinking a few of her friends and asked them to call more friends in.    It ended up with 12 teenage boys giving it their all.   When it was over -  The girl didn't want to go home but hung around the school complex.   Eventually her parents went looking for her, and found her at the school. 

The mayor said the girls family named the 12 boys involved and demanded that he organize a meeting with the boys families take place, or they were going to bring in police.    The mayor set up this meeting and brought the parties together.   He was able to facilitate a settlement -  rather than involve Police in a formal process.   He said families had to pay 30.000 Bhat per head - to keep it all quiet.   

When the meeting was over and the boys families went back to their tamban.   The mayor said he was pretty angry at the attitude displayed by the girls family.   It seems that one of the boys had filmed enough of fuck fest on a cell phone -   That was shown at the meeting as well.  The girl was clearly a very willing participant and had a large hand in precipitating the events. 

The mayor warned the girls family - profiting off something like this is wrong,  and while they will likely be paid this time.  He said he told the family -  They will be paid back very badly sometime in the future for this kind of conduct.  He said you will likely be paid this time,  but don't count on it working again.   He said after seeing the cell phone footage that the fuck fest was clearly with full consent, and staged strictly for monetary gain.  He told the family he will not assist them in the future in any other incident of this type.

In this new incident - 12 families paid up,  Police were not involved.    However,  It didnt end there.   Several days later -  The girl was beaten up badly in that nearby town and was hospitalized for 4 days. 

The extended family members from the group of 12 boys were involved in the beating.   Besides beating the girl up -  they made significant serious threats of more retaliation if police become involved.   They put the fear of god in the girl and made her an offer she couldn't refuse.  

So the girl and her family chose not to speak to police.    The girls family drove into that town to speak to folks involved,  almost immediately one of their motor bikes was destroyed by a large mob - and they were sent fleeing on what ever they had left to escape on. The girls parents were likewise told -  If they show up in that  town again -  They will be beaten much worse that their daughter received.  Likewise they were given advice that they couldn't refuse. 

So It appears that there is more than a little vigilante justice in play,  for wanton cases - where the family hopes to cash in - using the daughter as bate and relying on people paying up because they are afraid of the legal consequences.    The latest incident seemed to strike a lot of nerves in the extended families of those 12 young men.   Those extended families took matters into their own hands.... 

So on one hand - 10 young men are in Jail this week - despite money paid and lawyers,  and despite rescinding statements made by the victim.   On the other hand - 12 young men were bought out of jeapardy, no police were involved,  but the extended family of those 12 young men administered their own justice - for the money that was essentially extorted and paid to the girls family.   

In the older incident with the 10 boys = I suspect the court was unwilling to accept the girls rescinding statements,  because of the medical report and the earlier statements made by her and her family.    The court probably has a low tolerances for people caught trying to manipulate the system with buy outs.  

It makes a mockery of the laws once a allegation has enough critical mass and evidence to become a formal charge.    

The court by the verdict involving the 10 - Is sending a message that such conduct will bear accountability before the law regardless of the payment brokering that takes place after charges are formerly raised.    

I was very surprised at this update on this group of 10.  I was able to see the higher court verdict and surrender paper.  My wife  translated parts of it to me.  It was a single page document.    No amount of discussion in front of the court by this woman or the other families persuaded the court to change the decision rendered.    

LIkewise I was surprised at the new incident the mayor resolved for another girl in town, without police - and the vigilante justice that followed the 12 payments of the 30,000 per head extortion money the girls family received.

It goes to show that this kind of opportunistic conduct on the scheming of girls families -  often has more twists and turns than can be reasonably managed.    

I have a strong gut feeling that the families who have seen 10 son's sent away this week -  for 7 years, and are out 50KB each + lawyers fees -  They are going to extract some vigilante justice against this girl in question, and her opportunistic parents.   They live a couple of towns away, and I dont think the outcome is going to be very pretty.

This update shows what a slippery slope the whole dirty business of getting paid for the virtue their daughters toss away for a train ride.  And how a lot of people are easily hurt when caught up in the unfairness of these kind of proceedings.   It boarders on entrapment and extortion.   Few teen boys are going to decline those open invites, when overtaken in the heat of those moments.  Few as well are willing to  risk group censure for saying NO and passing on a chance to grandstand in front of their friends and join the train
pulled by a siren song badly in heat.  

I guess after learning more on these things -  What else can be said other than  "Amazing Thailand".   

People with young men - ought to reflect on this update a bit -  because it is a pretty glaring example that  buying out after formal charges are raised - Is no guarantee of dodging the bullet.    

I am sure those teen boys,  will become fresh chicken on the cell block.   They will be changed in a major way by their incarceration,  and not for the good.   

In this case -  I think the court did not administer justice fairly.  It only sent a message of being tired of seeing these manipulations getting court time and air play.    The penalty imposed on the boys was too harsh - for a girl who was already selling her pussy for pocket money with a group of boys off and on.   She got caught by her family for being drunk and going over the top - and played the rape / compensation game - to save face for the girl herself and her family .   None of that other information (about the girls history or promiscurity) ever made it into the court proceedings either.   The half assed two lawyer legal team believed the girls  sign off and new statements made would solve the resolve the legal issue regarding rape.  

I hope no one reading this post every has a member of their family impacted from any variant of this kind of scam.

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## sabang

^ I do not believe that story. I think you are not privy to all of the facts.

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## larvidchr

> ^ I do not believe that story. I think you are not privy to all of the facts.


Ditto,

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## MakingALife

When it comes to the details,  I really cannot understand Thai very much,  so I have to depend upon what my wife relays to me.   

Composing the post -  I asked her what had happened to the woman's son from the group of 10.  She told me he is in Jail now,  and as well the other 9 in the group - all got the same letters.  All appeared before the court on the 7th and were taken into custody to start their sentences.    So it seems one lawyer did no better than the other.   

My brother in law (a Thai Naval officer)  also read the court document,  in my living room.  When I asked him about it later -  he echoed the  same sentiment -  the person named has to appear before the court with his parents, and  without anything new to consider -  he will have to serve a sentence.   I dont know the ages of the young men involved -  that may be a factor as well.

I really had a different belief for what the court outcome would be.  I fully believed the meeting with the court that was scheduled for the 7th - would have triggered some more delays and other considerations.  The wife also said the case was through a couple of lower courts, before proceeding to this final court.   That means little to me as well.         

You can be sure -  I will be asking the wife to re-confirm what is going on with those boys in the group of 10.  

Having paid the money & gotten the girl to sign off with a new statements -  It would seem like they should prevail.  

When people cant buy their way out of trouble here -  It imply s that a big safety valve is gone.  Such a ruling -  If it ignored the settlement  between partys brokered -  would imply a rise of court power that leaves them broker judgment - and removes the parties ability to broker their own restitution and settlement.  

This would be a departure from the status quo. I can understand for that reason, why you are skeptical that something is amiss or details are left out.   It is definitely worth asking more questions and seeking more confirmations.   Losing the ability to broker ones own transgressions is significant.    

I will be sure to post a follow up -  I will be doing some more fact finding and questioning of my wife for more details....      

As for the mayors description of the other event that took place with a different girl, which he was forced to broker.   Same thing -  Wife translated it to me - while sitting there as he described it.    

As very often is the case -  her translation on the fly glosses over details at times.   And I have to agree - there are probably details unknown to me.   

But he made it quite clear the restitution amounts that had been paid,  the girl later being beaten and hospitalized, and later her parents getting squeezed when they went into that other village to confront folks there.   

The woman with the son in jail -  is the local opator's wife.  The Opator and the mayor are really the two officials in this town, and often have to co- chair events and agenda items in town...  So its not very likely the Mayor would be making up stories to soothe the psyche of the Opators wife  over her sons plight, based on fiction or stories about another girl incident.

Expect another post in a day or two with more follow up.

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## MakingALife

I have asked the wife for more detail off and on recently.  She is reluctant to provide much because she cannot raise this topic with the mother of the young man.   She said she can only listen if the topic is raised.

In the car driving yesterday - she and I went over more questions I had.   Indeed more information is  involved here  - than was made clear to me from her her earlier disclosures.     

Regarding the young man, now in jail, connected with the group of 10 who were accused of "rape" of some girl.  This incident is not that new - it is an older issue that has taken a long time to resolve.  This girl involved was not under age,  she was 23 at the time.  This event happened quite a while ago (She says between 5 and 10 years ago).    I dont know how that information was lost in the translation,  but it was left out.     

The young man involved was in the 2nd year of college at the time.   He completed college,  and has more than 3 years work experience in a design firm in Bangkok.  So at a minimum it has taken 6 years for this this case to be processed through the Thai court system.  (I find this hard to believe - but that is what I have now been told).    

Apparently the girl has never appeared in court either.  (according to the jailed son's mother).  Shortly after the original incident -   The girl and her family had sold their home, and moved from the area.  

The lawyers involved in the case have been unable to locate the girl to get an appearance.   They had hoped to get her to appear to reinforce her signed statement  And perhaps making a new statement that the group sex was voluntary - which she initiated once drunk.    They were never able to locate her during the time these court proceedings moved forward.      

When I ask my wife how that can be - with house books, residence registrations, and amphore issues ID cards.  She can not explain how the girl would be difficult to locate.  She said the girl may be married at this point.   She said the girls family may be renting without a house book.  And without that they can only be traced to the original Ampore where their ID was issued.  

When I ask her about any Sopena process executible - I get the same kind of reply.   She has no idea about that either.   She can only stay what this mother has told her that the girl involved never appeared in court.   
(Again this also seems weird to me - especially for a rape charge - as serious as it is.)

As far as the sentence goes.....  When the group surrendered to the court  they were advised that    The original sentence started with a consideration of 15 years.  It was reduced to 7 years, because none of the young men involved had any prior arrests.    All were also advised when they surrendered to the court that if they behaved well in prison,  they could earn an earlier release,  but it was subject to their conduct.  It could be as early as 3 years.

I was further advised that one of the lawyers involved - through out the proceeding,  charged a lot of money for every matter handled and proved unable to get a convincing group of evidence before the court that the incident was not a rape.    There is little recourse open for the families involved or for their sons.    

About the other girl (under age) who had group sex with 12 boys at their nearby school.  The incident brokered via the mayor (and no police).    It turns out this same girl has previously done the exact same thing in town with a group of 6.   She lives just around the corner.  (Again the wife didnt make this very clear at first explaination - there there was a incident of 6 before the group of 12 became involved).  The first incident got the same level of pay off 30,000 per head.   

This incident with 12 boys took place 7 km away in the nearby school.      My wife spoke with her cousins daughter (who is a year behind this girl in the same school).     She told my wife the girl has been expelled for a period of time.   The families of the boys have approached the school and showed them the cell phone footage. The school has posted a warning on the school grounds (including the girls picture) and provided a description of the ruse she and her family used.  This is to prevent more boys from becoming involved in that families scam.  So apparently the school has taken some direct action -  after viewing the cell phone footage.

AS WAS POINTED OUT ....  There is likely more to the story.  This update is probably all that I will be able to piece together.   I hope that this makes a little more sense than what was posted earlier.   Excuse the misinformation involved the wife didnt make clear the time differences involved in these separate events.

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## MakingALife

In brief.  The mother of this young man (whos now in Jail) - Just stopped by to get a few copies made.   She had the college degree,  college transcript,  and the employer's document showing her son's former position. She said she needed copies, to provide to the prison,  so that it may be possible for the credentials to get her son a more favorable prison job.

He graduated in 2007, with a full Bachelors degree (122 Credit hours) in Engineering Technology - Some pretty vigorous course work and a decent CPA average.   He was employed as an Engineering Trainee -  with a major refrigeration design group that does large building AC projects.  Its a big name in the AC business here in TL.  Looks like he was being groomed to become a full charge designer for that firm.

My wife let me look the academic papers over, after she made copies.  She said him getting involved with thatgirl and a group of guys has really "f'kd his life up"....   "He's thrown away alot of the advantage & hard work of his studies, and when he gets out of prison -  He'll be starting back in the workforce with a sizeable stigma, which may hurt him with a lot of larger employers"....      
So from the sound of things, and the current document copies his mother came to make -  It looks like there are no legal appeal options open for him.   She's working on upgrading his position in Prison.

And it appears that what ever was done to buy their way out - was not effective.   What ever form that took.
What ever details are hazy in the story,  pale in comparison to the outcome.

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## OhOh

Many people the world over have been imprisoned for a moments madness.

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## MakingALife

Oh Oh -  A very good general observation.   It helps to put things in prospective.   

It is well remember that even thai's caught up in their own system, are not able to buy their way out and escape consequences 100% of the time.

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## Norton

> no police were involved


Hence why Thais know if you have a problem police are the last bunch you should contact.

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## Rigger

> When it comes to the details, I really cannot understand Thai very much, so I have to depend upon what my wife relays to me.





> misinformation involved the wife didnt make clear the time differences involved in these separate events


Yes alot of Thais have that problem of telling only half a story or keeping information to themselfs and leaving out what we would think of as important details.
Which is why half the time they dont understand each other and fok things up.

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## MakingALife

> Originally Posted by MakingALife
> 
> When it comes to the details, I really cannot understand Thai very much, so I have to depend upon what my wife relays to me.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm learning over time, its best not to move to a logical conclusion, without more time - and letting topics resurface - for other details to filter in.   

You have hit it on the head, that often the wife share selective information which is only what she senses as being important.   For sure its almost always less what I would normally assemble - to reach a point of forming an opinion.   

You are spot on as well - making a clear comment about how often between Thai to Thai - they screw things up because one misunderstands the other.

When discussions are expanded to try and build more details, or increase understanding - Those efforts are often unproductive and only produce resentment, and often confusion because its taken to be a question of their ability to understand key information.    

In part I think these cultural values are built into this communication equation to cover the limited workings of limited minds.    Yea its sterotypical to say such thing, and clearly in TL - its not a one shoe fits all situation,  because I have met and had some great discussions with professionals here....   But,  I think in rural areas, where only mandatory schooling is attended - That shoe fits most locals very well.

To give a brief example.... I was called to check an rice machine engine that would'nt start.  It was an engine (20 Hp 2 cyl diesel) that I overhauled top to bottom in 2008, and which had been transplanted to a new owner in early 2011.   Reported not to be able to start.  So  I investigated...    It was stiff to roll over, but when moving it -  I noticed the other side of the engine shaft didnt move.   Snapped crankshaft.   So the owner was asked - Did it kick badly when starting this morning ?  No.  Did it run yesterday ?  Yes....  Did you shut it down at the end of the day, or did it stop by itself ?   It stopped by itself.    Was the engine making any noise ?   Yes.    How long had that been happening ?   The last 3 days....   What did you think about the engine noise you heard ?    No ANSWER....

After repairs - They admitted to their mistake,  Not having the Monk attend to bless the installation.  So they threw a party and had a blessing performed.  Big happy faces and all the confidence that the engine will now run forever !!!!! 

AMAZING THAILAND !!!!!

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## MakingALife

The other day I asked my wife....

Did the young man now in Jail get a better prison job -  Now that they have his transcript and degree details ?

She said his mother said that the Prison will have to evaluate this young man's behavior in prison for about 6 months, before they  consider - assigning him to a favorable prison position.   

My wife said his parents visit him about every two weeks, and deliver non perishable food  on most visits, as well as mailing things to him between visits.

His family has now brought his 1 or 2 year old pick up from Bangkok, out to their home, and use the truck periodically to keep it in serviceable condition.     They have resigned themselves to having no alternative for any kind of his early parole, and are adjusting to him serving what ever portion of his 7 year sentence he ends up serving...

All in all -  A bad outcome for a family.  A family who claim to ave paid "damage's" to the injured party,  and believed the fix was in.    They lost track of the process, when the girl departed the picture, and was never available to appear to acknowledge questions behind the statements she made.    

The last court in the process  ruled against the defendents, because the girl was long gone and there was no opportunity to question her or her earlier signed statements.    A large group of young men all got 7 year sentences out of the deal...    Pretty harsh deal, after all the defendants families  supposedly paid 50 K restitution per person to the girls family.

My belief is that  the courts really do not  like the idea that people believe they can buy their way out events -  (which the court see and consider criminal behavior)...

As others have pointed out...  This is perhaps why Thais themselves prefer not to involve police in matters,  only as a last resort...  Because its too easy to lose control of the desired outcome...

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## Thormaturge

> Originally Posted by MakingALife
> 
> When it comes to the details, I really cannot understand Thai very much, so I have to depend upon what my wife relays to me.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You should see this work in a legal context.

Official asks for form A

Thai doesn't know what form A is but thinks it might be form B

Official asks for form A again

Thai is too embarrassed to admit he doesn't know what form A is and provides form C

Official gets pissed off and can't be bothered.

Thai can't figure why nothing is happening but doesn't want to ask.

End result...nothing is achieved and Thai bullshits client as to why his job was never completed.

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## Milo

It's why a discussion about what they had for dinner last night takes 1hr at least.

They leave so much out the clarification questions put the Spanish Inquisition to shame! At least it keeps them occupied...  :Smile: 

Dunno about you guys, but I carefully consider my questions beforehand, wrong q and you're knackered. Suppose it IS better now wifey's been working with farang for 5yrs who are here for 1st time & don't know how to speak pidgin English? Downside is I can't use big words to outfox her anymore  ::spin::  I'll have to expand my vocabulary to five letter words...!

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