#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Living In Thailand Forum >  >  > The Family Room >  >  Molestation warning for those of you with children living in the village.

## chitown

This is the second time that this has been brought to my attention and I wanted to share the information with all of you. This is not a rumor or a second hand story that I heard, but something that has occurred with two different kids and I know the both farang fathers.

Apparently it is somewhat common in villages for parents, grandparents and other family members to orally stimulate and / or fondle small children to get them to sleep or stop crying or behave.

There have been two farang friends of mine in the past 12 months that have walked in and caught a family member molesting one of their children. The first was an older grandmother with with her mouth on the genitals of a baby girl that was having trouble falling asleep. The other was an aunt that was fondling a young boy that was crying.

The claim is that it is "normal" and feels good for the child and that it gets them to stop crying, fall asleep easily or calm down if they are fussy. It was said that most people do it and it has been a practice for years among Thai families. 

Another instance occurred when some village teens pulled down a toddlers pants and touched her. When confronted the teens claimed the child had short hair and they were curious if the luuk kreung was a boy or girl.

I am told that the police will not do a thing about it as it is "normal"

I just wanted to put the warning out as I know many of you have children you are raising in villages around the country. 

Please keep a watchful eye on your litte'uns.

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## chitown

BTW, I am not saying your Thai family members would do things like this, but who knows who is living around you.

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## dirtydog

^What backward jungle bunny village is this.

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## chitown

The province is the one they eat dogs in. Not sure of the village name, but according to both farangs this is a common occurrence in Isaan vilages.

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## helge

> Apparently it is somewhat common in villages for parents, grandparents and other family members to orally stimulate and / or fondle small children to get them to sleep or stop crying or behave.


Stimulation ? Not seen that. But true that they smell the babies in their private parts and a small boy without shorts, can't be sure nobody will pull his string.

Doesn't look suspisious to me allthough I did raise an eyebrow the first few times I saw it.
Don't do it myself, and that has been notised by the missus, who says I do not love my baby enough. She often do it when she has changed a diper.

Looks like love to me.  The right kind

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## dirtydog

My male dog in my avatar had a great big pair of balls, you'd be amazed at the amount of normal Thai girls that cupped his balls with their hands to feel the weight, he didn't seem to mind though.

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## daveboy

I've seen my missus do it to my boy I'm with helge. But a good heads up chitown.

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## melvbot

> My male dog in my avatar had a great big pair of balls, you'd be amazed at the amount of normal Thai girls that cupped his balls with their hands to feel the weight, he didn't seem to mind though.


What was the prize for guessing the correct weight?

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## jizzybloke

sticky fingers?

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## chitown

> My male dog in my avatar had a great big pair of balls, you'd be amazed at the amount of normal Thai girls that cupped his balls with their hands to feel the weight, he didn't seem to mind though.


Oh come on! 

Are you serous???? 

i used to have Rots and when I tell most Thai girls they get afraid, vaery afraid. Rots are feared in Thailand so I would not think their would be much ball "cupping" going on - I mean when it comes to dogs.  :Smile:

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## Rigger

Asked the wife about it and she tells me this is not normal and there is something wrong with these people.

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## Nawty

Yeah.....honey, go give little johnny a blowjob, he having trouble sleeping.

Me thinks these people have no TV and are retarded or from tasmania.

In fact, my monkey has trouble sleeping....I wonder

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## chitown

Mrs. Chis said the same. She has never heard of it either. She did say that child molesting is a huge problem upcountry and for that matter the whole country. Parents are working, kids are left with grandparents, and others to be cared for. Perverts see the opportunity and molest kids that are not watch closely enough.

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## Nawty

Exactly, there is a problem with it....but not as mentioned in the OP...never heard of it.

We moved the adoptee on probation in with us cos they said she was getting old enough now for things like this to happen to her.

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## DrAndy

> Mrs. Chis said the same. She has never heard of it either. She did say that child molesting is a huge problem upcountry and for that matter the whole country. Parents are working, kids are left with grandparents, and others to be cared for. Perverts see the opportunity and molest kids that are not watch closely enough.


 
I don't really understand your point Chitown

first your op states that you were told that family members use some sort of sexual stimulation to get the kid to stop crying or go to sleep; this is weird, probably harmful but not sexually stimulating to the relative (presumably)

then you are talking about perverts molesting kids

are they the same thing?

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## dirtydog

Didn't seem to do any harm to my dog, they started fondling his balls from when he was a puppy, big dark black pair of balls he had, would have thought the color would have put the girls off.
Chitown I got that dog long before the Thais started getting them and letting the dogs kill their children and that.

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## chitown

> Originally Posted by chitown
> 
> 
> Mrs. Chis said the same. She has never heard of it either. She did say that child molesting is a huge problem upcountry and for that matter the whole country. Parents are working, kids are left with grandparents, and others to be cared for. Perverts see the opportunity and molest kids that are not watch closely enough.
> 
> 
>  
> I don't really understand your point Chitown
> 
> ...


I was posting my wife's comment on things. Both my friends swear it to have happened. One has packed up and is returning to Vancouver with the wife and kids next week over the incident.

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## dirtydog

I have to admit when my son was younger the women used to sniff his genitals, pretty much the same as my dog did to other dogs really, and they both grew up alright.

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## Marmite the Dog

One time when we were buying some bamboo poles the guy tried to cop a feel of the little one's knob. I was so shocked that I just stood there like a dummy.

The Midget knows that things like that are simply not acceptable and the best way we've found to prevent things like that happening is to keep the lad away from Thais wherever possible.

The Midget says that these people (Thais) are crazy and stupid - as if we didn't already know.

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## Mr R Sole

> Don't do it myself, and that has been notised by the missus, who says I do not love my baby enough. She often do it when she has changed a diper.


 
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  !!!!!!! SEX CASE...
 
Sex case, sex case, hang him, hang him, hang him...I think the line goes...




> Asked the wife about it and she tells me this is not normal and there is something wrong with these people.


Damn straight it ain't Rigger..I'm with you on that one... Not loving ya kid enough...frickin barmy bitch..




> One has packed up and is returning to Vancouver with the wife and kids next week over the incident.


Should've just hunted down a Burmese, Hmong or any other person the Thai's are currently kicking out of the country. They'd of probaby shot the psycho for free..and the Thai's make out they are some form of super race!!!!!!! Yeah right.

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## Mr R Sole

> The Midget knows that things like that are simply not acceptable and the best way we've found to prevent things like that happening is to keep the lad away from Thais wherever possible. The Midget says that these people (Thais) are crazy and stupid - as if we didn't already know.


Your Midget is already smarter than most of the population....put together...

See the Thai's should've been colonised like the many other countries...
They would've likely had better infrastructure and certainly more up top...Brains that is!!!...and maybe boobs...just look at the Indonesians...great tits and ass..(sorry totally off off topic)

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## chitown

BTW, I have heard a couple of other reports since this thread was posted.

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## MakingALife

> "This is the second time that this has been brought to my attention and I wanted to share the information with all of you. This is not a rumor or a second hand story that I heard, but something that has occurred with two different kids and I know the both farang fathers.....
> 
> ...... There have been two farang friends of mine in the past 12 months that have walked in and caught a family member molesting one of their children....
> ..... The claim is that it is "normal"....  that most people do it and it has been a practice for years among Thai families.  I am told that the police will not do a thing about it ..... Please keep a watchful eye on your litte'uns.


 ::spin::    Wow, Thanks for posting this comment and raising potential awareness of such an issue.  Often a little awareness prevents problems....   

I have a 17 month baby girl (Sophia),  and have not seen anything to suggest such conduct with our close friends in my town or within the extended family.   

Yes - I have seen most women.  who picked Sophia, would hold her close and sniff.  Nothing inappropriate. 
I have also watched the conduct of most thai families we know, around their kids....  and the kids themselves in play groups, or at the beach.   Nothing in my casual observation's to suggest any thing inappropriate. So I havent had any cause for concern.  You post has raised my awareness, which is much appreciated -  But I still feel no need to worry within the sphere of people who have conduct with my daugter.   Moving forward - forewarned is the best posture to carry.

Separately - on not exactly this topic... But related -  I want to offer something that happened a couple weeks ago -  that has caused me a little worry about my little girl - out in time... Here goes.....

A good farang friend of mine's thai wife caught the 5 year old girl from down the block - playing under a blanket with her 5 year old son's genitals.  They were curled up watching TV in her living room on a cool evening.  She separated them and said it was not appropriate, without a lot of fanfare.   A few days later, she caught them in a bedroom under a blanket with the little girl trying to pull her son on top,  with both having shed their shorts and underwear.  The little girl was stimulating him vigorously and trying to get him to mount her...  My friends wife was shocked, but kept her cool, and separated them and made them get dressed.  She calmly told them.... They cant play like husband and wife, and sent the girl home.    

She talked with the girls mother to inform her of what she had interrupted a couple times that week.  Only to learn that the other mother had interrupted the same kind of contact,  but was afraid to talk about it.  

While innocent exploration sometimes happens with playmates, it seemed like there was some outside knowledge level at work.  The 5 year olds seem past innocent exploration point.

My friends wife talked with her son - to ask if anyone talked to him about girls.  It turns out that his kindergarten friends have covered that topic at length, with stories told with in the group of boys he associates with very often  !!!!

She spoke to the girls mother about what she learned from her son,  and the other mother said she has a small explicit DVD collection that she and her husband  sometimes watch...  Or that she watches when he is away working....  And that she keeps marital relations private,  and didn't think her daugther has seen any footage....   But that she also pledged to keep a watchful eye on her daughter.   

Needless to say - This happened a couple weeks ago.  The two children attend one of the most exclusive private school in a larger city. (Not BKK or CM)  My friends wife didn't make an "inquisition" out of her quiet discussions. But wanted to get more understanding, and inform her friend about it, a pretty level headed mature response.   She also discussed it at length with my wife, knowing our child will be in school in just over 3 years.   

This surprising experience - suggests that children as a group are more aware about sexuality than most people realize.  It suggest with high probablity that  this knowledge is shared from peers, from their collective exposure.  

This story is about the youngest of children, who have been raised in middle class homes, with good privacy levels, and nothing to suggest  in appropriate conduct is responsible.  Children who I have known since they were toddlers.    

I am still trying to sort this out in my head, and decide what kind of guidance and discussion will be part of my daughters early education - before she hits her first experiences with early school socialization.   

Having learned of the experience of my good friends with their children -  it is pretty clear to me that this area and range of topics, cant be left uncovered  - so kindergartners as a peer group set knowledge and define conduct.   

Recogize that I am not being a prude here.  I have  traveled the world for more that 3 decades, and booked my share of booty.  So I am pretty open minded and non judgmental.   Sexuality is a part of life - a very good part !!!  I just have concerns about the youngest getting off to a bad start in that area 

As well this is my second family go around with (2) grown college educated children by my first wife...  So I have been down the road of guidance and discussions with children before.  But never really had to think about how to approach this topic for pre K kids.  

But without question - Its an issue that cant be ducked, because its my perception socialization pressures - put this in kids laps - whether they are ready or not.

Anyone with similar concerns ??

Pat   ::chitown::

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## Don Ho

I believe that the ease of access to hard core pornography plays a large part, with regards to the above post.  Even if children do not have internet at home and even though the government blocks many sites it is easy enough to download straight to their phone.  The advertisements for such porn are in every magazine and paper, shocking that on one hand the government blocks porn but on the other allows its sale to minors.  Shocking until you realize someone is making a ton of money on the phone porn.

When I was that age 5-7, it was access to hidden away Playboy or worse magazines that prompted much of our sex play.  We acted out what we saw in pictures with no idea of what was actually happening in the photos.

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## Happyman

This sort of molesting little kids to make them sleep is a common and accepted practice in East Africa as well !

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## MakingALife

Interesting comments:

I've been to both coasts of Africa many times,  but seldom left the confines of civilization to travel outside into the villages.   I did have a lot of contact with low level African workers  (grunt labor) and their management.   Clearly most have very little education other than their work.  But they are  pretty good at learning what works well by trail and error.  So if diddling kids to sleep works well -  They would know it and use it.   

On some of my first trips to west Africa.... early trips Africa west coast (mostly Angola) -  My contact said forget everything you know about Africa because this place is nothing like East Africa you may know. 

We were looking out on the bay.   He pointed to the hundreds of thousands of lights that looked like an  extension of the city around a bend, and set up on a hillside.  Saying -  My friend - those arent lights - they are candles, lanterns, and fires - In daylight you will see its nothing but mud huts.  Half a million live there and there isnt a single doctor in this city or that hovel, that could deliver medicine or medical care that you could recognize.   He said most residents from there are functionally illiterate with super low intellect.  This was 2005...  

Seeing the place in daytime - confirmed the guy was speaking the truth.  Spending time there, confirmed for me Africa still holds true to its primitive nature.   Nothing would surprise that takes place in the tribal cultures there.     

I don't have access to many local papers here -  But i have seen a few news print sections and magazine spreads hawking porn postings with cell phone links I didnt pay it much mind.   But based on comments here -  It seems pretty easy that anyone with minutes on a phone could get their fill.  So I guess explicit knowledge seeps into the culture of the young - despite any parental good ethics practiced. 

Another example of why children need good advice earlier than most would assume would be the requisite age.    

After more thoughts on this,  my concern level has waned a little,  cause my daughter is pretty sharp for her age group, and seems to take direction well.  So it should be reasonable to equip her with guidance on what is inappropriate contact.   And how to manage any approaches in that area, from her peers or others.     
Thanks for the commentary,  The observations about  Africa mesh with my own general experience there.  The culture is primitive and education is a rare commodity in rural life there.   That experience was  pretty eye opening and repeated over and over for the many years returning there intermittently for project work.    

Pat

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## Happyman

^
I was based in Mwanza / Shingyanga - Tanzania for a while.

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## Bower

This subject has been brought up before.
This treatment of babies is not uncommon in Africa.
Also despite Dug saying it is bullshit, i again say it was common practice in Europe by nannys in Victorian days.
It is not acceptable but neither is filling up babies with paracetamol based medicines, as we do now in the West to 'help' babies sleep.

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## Marmite the Dog

> It is not acceptable but neither is filling up babies with paracetamol based medicines, as we do now in the West to 'help' babies sleep.


When my lad is sick and has a fever, it is perfectly acceptable.

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## Bower

> Originally Posted by Bower
> 
> It is not acceptable but neither is filling up babies with paracetamol based medicines, as we do now in the West to 'help' babies sleep.
> 
> 
> When my lad is sick and has a fever, it is perfectly acceptable.


Did i mention sick or feverish babies ?

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## Rural Surin

> BTW, I am not saying your Thai family members would do things like this, but who knows who is living around you.


Well....if you've lived in a village setting long enough, you certainly {should} know whom your neighbors might be. Suspicions fall {and are cast upon} towards what is deemed to be different from your understanding. The norm might not be normal to anyone that still find it "foreign". There isn't such a creature as universal standards.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by Bower
> ...


Did you exclude them?

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## ENT

Saw this method of comforting children in Laos 4 years ago.
When I asked about it, I was told that it was normal, nothing wrong.

Having taught in young offenders institutions in Western countries, I quickly learned how to field off inappropriate sexual behaviour from the kids. A large percentage had been sexually/physically/emotionally molested at a very early age. Seductive behaviour on their part was simply a learned coping strategy.
The confusion they suffered directly resulted in aggressive behaviour.

A lot of women in the sex trade have this dual seductive/violent character.

So, I now carry a hidden video/audio camera while teaching and have another, small wireless cctv camera high up in the classroom, picked up on a receiver/video player in the school office. This way the class and I are monitored and I have a second recording of anything within 2 metres of me as I teach, as a cross reference just to avoid problems. It works well.

Whenever I've pointed out that this or that child is being overtly sexual or seductive, thus at risk, the Thai principal just brushes my info to one side, saying that it doesn't matter. 
Strange.

It's quite normal for children to be curious about genital differences, but to engage in imitative sexual action is as a result of either,
a) having witnessed same previously, so copy, or,
b) having been initiated physically in that behaviour.

Kids don't just dream it up.

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## lucky dog

caught one of the village kids attempting to shag one of our puppys is this also normal rural behavior?

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## ENT

No, it isn't.

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## alwarner

My Mrs. Aunty had a monkey that fucked chickens.  Much to the delight of the local kids.  SO much so they would catch chickens and throw them to the monkey.

It was very very funny.  Until the monkey bit somebody and spoilt it for everyone.

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## Chairman Mao

> caught one of the village kids attempting to shag one of our puppys is this also normal rural behavior?


Only if they were going to eat it afterwards.

Which they probably were.

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## ENT

Kids learn a lot in the country.   :Smile: 

One day we'd rounded all the sheep up for dipping, and had the rams penned up in a yard while the ewes were being herded past, dogs running around all keen and such and one of them jumped the rails into the ram pen.

No one noticed until the stupid dog started whining, so my two boys (8 and 9 yrs old)
went to find out what the fuss was about.

"Dad, quick, the rams are beating up Graham's dog!", they yelled.

So a couple of us whizzed over to see what the hell and nearly fell over laughing.

Gray's dog was trapped in a corner with a close pack of rams muscling in on him, literally.

One ram had mounted the dog and was rogering him, the rest waiting their turn.
If I ever saw a dog's eyes pop, it was then.

Funniest thing we ever saw!

The kids pestered me for answers about it all for days after.
They'd seen dog on dog and chook on chook and were awed by what the bull could do to a cow, but ram on dog, well,... and he wasn't even a bitch.

Had them right puzzled!

Needless to say, Gray got a local reputation for having a gay ram-lover dog, he never lived it down.

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## alwarner

haha funny as.  Can't beat a bit of animal rape...er....you know what i mean.

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## ENT

Life's tough in a small rural town eh?   :Smile: 

All the pretty ones gone to the big smoke, only old dollies and dogs left around.

Ah well.

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