#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Construction in Thailand >  >  > Building in Thailand Famous Threads >  >  The Dogs Land

## dirtydog

This thread will probably run for several years cos it takes us builders so foking long to finish anything, anyway this will be the story of my land.

Its about 1.6 rai and i have finally decided wot to do with it, now as you can see by the pic below its reasonably sort of squarish,(my land is the plot on the far left).

the first step is to raise the land on the right hand side boundary, this will be where i build 3 3 bedroomed bungalows.



you can see the road coming into my land at the top right, even as i post the nice young lady at city hall is drawing up my plans, well, she probably aint and is out on the piss, but i gave her the rough plans a couple of weeks ago and for the sum of 7 or 9 thousand baht she is going to draw up my plans, i really cant remember how much we agreed to, shes probably robbing me anyway regardless of price, na only kidding, i believe she is the lesbian lover of my galfriends brothers daughter, or something like that anyway.

----------


## dirtydog

and here we have a pic of my prime porky worky land, plus my neighbours house, as you can see at the moment we have a lot of space to park cars there, this is due to not actually having a house or garden yet, but these things take time, now as soon as i have some spare staff they will build a camp here and live in the squalor they are used to  :Smile: 



the truck is owned by the broker, im not sure how much he earned out of me but if you see it feel free to set it on fire.

----------


## dirtydog

My pond.

I got a 50 met by 10 met pond, at this moment in time nasty thai ppl are stealing my fish, now i was gonna infill most of this pond, but i have decided to be creative, thats cos im too stingy to buy the dirt to infill it, im gonna build MY house over the pond, yep, on the hot days i will pump water from the pond onto the roof to cool down the building, this will then flow into the guttering and a fake pond on the patio and then waterfall into the main pond, thats got to put a million baht onto the price of the property  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

Well things are rushing ahead even as I type, yep I just picked up the plans  :Smile: 
about 20 pages in all, this for a mere 7,000baht and a 500baht tip, and it just so happens that this woman is friends with the civil engineer at the local council who has to sign the plans off, wheels within wheels or something like that, anyway she has asked us to phone her b4 we go to the planning office so she can phone her mate to speed things a long a bit for us, so next week is planning office week  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

Well things have seemed to have slowed down a bit, but I have decided what to do with the land, now on the plan my land is the big plot on the left, this i will section off a plot of about 25 meters deep and 20 meters wide, here I shall build the bungalow, this will then give me a sectioned in area behind the plot to plant the fruit trees and veg garden, i really dont want to eat veg and that that me dogs have pissed on, obviously the bungalow will be up for sale next week and maybe I will start building it soon.

anyway next week is section off the land week, lets see how that goes....

----------


## dirtydog

Damn, i been busy, i havent even got spare staff to build a camp there yet.

well for a mere 4,500baht they have agreed to section off the land and issue 2 new papers, yep on sept the 1st they are coming down to put the concrete markers in, now i could have paid an extra 3,500baht and they would have done it tonite, but hell im a cheap bstard and i aint in no rush, still got 270 meters of walls to build round the land first anyway.

yesterday i went to look at the land and my neighbour is nicking all the water from me pond, he wants to be careful cos i might nick his pump thats on my land, but then again i will need to use his electric in the future as my generator is too expensive to run to use power tools.

he still hasnt put up a wall to divide our land and obviously i dont really want to do that wall as its about 50 meters long and would cost about 50k baht which is equivelant to about 30 odd short times, should my sex life suffer just for a poxy garden wall? of course not....

----------


## Fabian

Looks like a big parking lot now. Too bad it is not inside the city.

----------


## machangezi

Where's this piece of land located? NSEW?

----------


## dirtydog

5km from lotus in south pattaya, fabian if it was in the city i would have had to add another zero to the price  :Sad:

----------


## klongmaster

> .. im gonna build MY house over the pond, .


Just out of interest DD, won't that attract mossies etc?

I've seen many places in Thailand built over a pond ..without the fancy xtras your proposing and have also wondered about the mossies

----------


## dirtydog

I think as long as the water is strongly circulated it stops mossies breeding there, also loads of big fish which you don't feed very often should help  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

ok the good news is i got staff starting on it tomorrow, yep 6 of them will be there digging holes for the next couple of weeks so expect some exciting pics of holes being dug, yep a tutorial on how to dig a hole thai style, the main one is gonna be 7 meters deep, this will be my well for the first house and for the orchard,can you call a 20 by 20 meter area with fruit trees an orchard?

anyway i got about 30 fruit trees already of all differant sorts all about a year old, so in 12 to 24 months i will never have to buy fruit again  :Smile: 

tomorrow i shall post a pic of me bell peppers or capsicum, yep one of erm has a pepper  :Smile:  exciting stuff ahh....

----------


## dirtydog



----------


## Fabian

> I think as long as the water is strongly circulated it stops mossies breeding there, also loads of big fish which you don't feed very often should help


Or put enough of DDT or whatever they have instead now into the pond.

----------


## dirtydog

As you can see we have pumped the pond out and now we are digging a well into it, this area around the well will then be infilled to bring it up to the level of the rest of the land, so that should cut the pond size down to 10 by 30 meters which seems a more manageble size  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog



----------


## MeMock

Is that a half built tee pee?

----------


## dirtydog

erm no, not quite memock, its actually a pulley system to lift the dug out dirt out of the hole/well, we are quite sophisicated here you know  :Smile:

----------


## MeMock

Wow, what a great improvement, we still use spoons.

----------


## dirtydog

This picture was taken just an hour ago  :Smile:  so far we are 3 meters below the water table and still digging.

----------


## dirtydog

Well things are rushing forward at an expensive pace, today we are building the staffs camp, yep corrugated tin shacks, as you can see from this pic they will be living in the luxury they are accustomed to  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

The next pic is of the dining quarters, this may have to be enlarged to accomodate them all, yep I don't mind splashing out another 200baht for 4 more bits of wood and some more material.

----------


## dirtydog

next we have the completed well, whether any of the staff were left in there or not I shall know next payday.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> This picture was taken just an hour ago  so far we are 3 meters below the water table and still digging.


So why isn't there 3 metres of water in it?  :?

----------


## dirtydog

we pump it out of course marmite,sometimes i think your really an aussie in disguise  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

Well the camp is coming along great and should be habitable tomorow, working out how much it has cost me makes me realise to justify the cost they got to stay there for about 3 years, so im sure that in 3 years time they will have made it all quite cosy and nice, but alas my house should be finished before that so the foks are going to have to move, well it depends how long it takes to sell the first house i suppose, i'm now really considering yet again about setting it up as 4 plots, as you can see i'm very decisive on what to do about this land, and I have to admit that I didn't realise how much thai shacks cost to build, now i got 15 staff i think and 13 of them live in a 2 bed bungalow which i pay 2,500baht per month for plus electric etc, so they are probably having wild sex orgies every nite while im wondering why the electric bill is so high, the weird thing is is that they actually want to live in the camp and not the nice mossie free bungalow, i mean who the fok would want to live in a jungle hut shack type thing, well apart from backpackers, i mean each room is seperated by 1mm of galvanised steel sheeting so they aint got much privacy for baby making and things like that, anyway i shall take some pics of there new luxuorious accomodation tomorrow.

----------


## dirtydog

Hmmmm, they are working to slowly.....

----------


## dirtydog

ok looks like the camp is up and running, yep this monday the scum bags will be living in luxury  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

Well if any of you lot fancy a cheap holiday down this way i got some real cheap accomodation on offer, yep here we have a nice pic of one of the more nicely furnished rooms, these are only fan rooms of course and can sleep upto 7 people.

----------


## dirtydog

Well the footings are all in for one side of the land, I didnt take a picture of the holes nor the concrete pours as some of you lot may not find it exciting enough, the ground beam for the wall is gonna be about 50cm to 1met above the dirt, this is cos I need more dirt to fill the land and I'm a cheap bstard, I mean jees if im building a swimming pool for someone i can charge them for dumping the dirt and dump it at my place, it's either that or splashing out like 300k to infill the land.

The well is slowly going down in water depth as the rainy season still hasn't started, I may get the staff to dig down a couple more meters.

I bought a packet of pappaya seeds a couple of days ago and they have been planted, so if any of you lot have issan gals that are in desperate need of fresh pappaya in three months time i will have a special deal going  :Smile:  actually the main reason i bought them is to start off the compost heap.

The house next door has put in the footings for his garden wall that divides us so thats saved me a bit of dosh, also he has got the electric poles put in aswell, so I only need to put in one more  :Smile: 

Next week is the big day with the land dept, yep dividing the land and getting an extra chanote and then it's onto the planning dept.

----------


## ldma

With threads like this you are fast becoming the BKK Phil of Teakdor.

----------


## dirtydog

The beam work for the first side of the lands garden wall is slowly but surely plodding along, although I have to admit I have only 2 guys working on it today.

The footings are every 3.5 meters and the beam size 20cm wide and about 35cm high, here's a nice picture of the lovely straight beam  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

And here's a picture of a footing.

----------


## dirtydog

> With threads like this you are fast becoming the BKK Phil of Teakdor.


I shall have to mention that to phil  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

Here we have the latest picture of the camp for the staff, notice the luxury storage area that has been built, also notice the bstards nicked me cold water thingy, yes I know I never use it but me galfriend shouldn't be giving this stuff away, jees I could have sold it to them  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

Actually tomorrow I may take some pics of the bathing area and toilets, It's pretty horrific I might add. Well maybe not for ppl from Aussie land I suppose..

----------


## dirtydog

Hmmm, the doubts are starting.......

Tomorrow we got to take the ppl from the land office to the land, we checked with them and everything seems ok,BUT, they want the village headman there to prove we are the owners, now wot the fok does some foking indian chief know about foking land ownership and plotting out of land that the foking land office don't know?I mean the foking land paper shows the plot and we got to get some ignorant cnut to agree to it,hmmmm smells of backhanders to me, and with this deal there aint gonna be any foking expensive backhanders, this foking indian chief owns the land next to me so if he foks me about i will turn it into the local rubbish dump for the next 5 foking years, or make it into a pig farm and let the pigs die but not move the rotting carcasses, these ppl need to learn not to fok with farangs cos we have that little bit of extra money to make their foking lives a misery.....

----------


## dirtydog

It gets worse, it's 8.15pm and one of the cnuts has phoned me asking for me galfriend, this is while she is on the phone to the foking chief indian, this is gonna be a big try on a shakedown I reckon, I mean do these guys at the land office really work at 8.15pm and waste money on phonecalls? of course they foking dont, the first thing i'm gonna do tomorrow is take all their pictures, actually I think I'm gonna take a couple of police friends tomorrow, let's see how these cnuts deal with that,I would rather give the money to them and fok the land ppl and indian foking chief, I can see this turning into a saga for revenge, what they forget or don't actually know yet is that I have dealt with them many times b4 and given the bribes many times b4, this time it's my land so they aint getting a foking penny, this time they have only been dealing with me galfriend and i have been in the background, maybe time to set up a new domain about the guys that have taken money from me for turning a blind eye, and we are talking about top city hall officials, hell that site would be a top hit site  :Smile:

----------


## Marmite the Dog

Until you 'go missing'....

----------


## Samwan

:Wink:  Dog, its time to clean your Smith & Wesson

----------


## dirtydog

who is that strange man henry underwood  :Smile:

----------


## Samwan

> who is that strange man henry underwood


search on goggle you will be surprised what a good man he was or is

----------


## dirtydog

that may help in the negotiating samwan  :Smile: 

Hi chaps, dont mind me cleaning the old gun while you measure out the land, I was actually thinking of taking the main dog down there with me, thais tend to want to get things sorted real quick when they got a 60 kilo rottie sniffing their bolloxs, may make erm forget about bribe money and things like that, hell maybe  better to take the scatty crazy bitch  :Smile:  the rottie not the galfriend samwan, fok she scares me, evil foking bitch....

----------


## dirtydog

Ok it seems that the land office pays this indian foking chief to turn up, now he has to agree that we own the land and point out the land, now as the land paper does all this already I assume its some thai tradition from like 100 years ago or something, i mean talk about foking third world countries and foking tribal chiefs, I wonder if he will be wearing a feather foking headress and do a foking rain dance.....

----------


## dirtydog

ahhhh, i forgot to mention the bad bit, one time a few weeks ago he had a load of his lorries parked on me land, i told erm all to fok off me land, they were dumping their rubbish ie coke cans etc all over my land, i went up to each one and asked who the fok said they could park here, they all moved within 5 minutes,hmmm he may not like me  :Smile:

----------


## Samwan

Dog i have a  name for your land

<< *Chato's Land* >>

you remember that movie and you know the ending  :Surprised:

----------


## dirtydog

Well suprisingly everything went ok, they never mentioned bribe money or anything like that, obviously they were an hour and half late, there boss I had to give a lift back to the land dept, he wont ask a farang for a lift again  :Smile:  he seemed to get a bit scared when we went over 130km, then we got onto the main road  :Smile: 

I met my neighbour for the first time, he is a chinky hotel owner, he asked me if i wanted to go halves with him on the wall he built dividing our land, as I haven't got cnut tatoed on my forehead I just pretended I didn't understand him and walked away, I can just imagine what my other neighbours will say when I present them with a bill for half the cost of my walls.

next month they shall complete the new chanotes and then we can apply for building permission,hmmm this is going to be a never ending thread I reckon.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> hmmm this is going to be a never ending thread I reckon.


We'll just call you 'Diaw' then...

----------


## Fabian

These luxury bungalows you use for staff housing you can rent out later to some tourists I think.

----------


## dirtydog

Fabian i can do you a special deal me old mate, but you have to book early as a lot of marmites mates have booked up long weekends, they want to learn about the real thailand and how the real thai ppl live, it's a great experiance  :Smile:  so I have been assured  :Smile:

----------


## Fabian

With "how real thai live" you mean they want to check out the local 200 baht brothel?

Thanks, I will pass on that offer as I have seen enough of "real thai life" where your constructions workers come from.

----------


## dirtydog

Well as you can see the wall is progressing slowly, too foking slowly, I am probably going to have to concentrate on the smaller plot of land as to build a wall round the whole lot is gonna cost a fortune, funny how differant it is when it's your own money your spending, the chink next door has stopped work on his land, I assume he is hoping I will pay him some dosh, funny ppl these chinks aint they...

----------


## dirtydog

The Foking Snake......

Now this snake was like smaller than the worms I used to use as fishing bait, it was like 5 inches long and the Thais were terrified of it, I mean these are the sort of things you just stamp on and forget about, it had sneaked into the cavity of a breeze block, now there were about 20 blocks in this pile so they were all standing around with weapons till they found the snake, ok it was a poisonous beasty snake but it was only a baby, so they found the block it was in and seperated the block from the rest, they then got a cement bag and set fire to it to try and cook the snake...

----------


## dirtydog

That obviously didn't work, so it came down to clubbing this thing that wasn't bigger than a worm to death, although I have to admit it was an aggressive sob cos the first guy missed and it came after him, but no worm can stand up against a 3 by 2 inch lump of wood welded by a crazed Thai man, yep the others got it, they whacked that worm and executed the sob, then they set it on fire, maybe they were cooking it, anyway it's well and truely dead now, I am thinking of making my walls higher now, I really don't like the idea of snakes living with me....

----------


## Marmite the Dog

^ Are you using your land as a scrap yard, DD?

----------


## dirtydog

hmmmmm, thats my car actually....

----------


## Fabian

:Lol:

----------


## dirtydog

Well as you can see all the block work is up for one side of me land apart from a couple of blocks, half of them are now digging out for the footings to the next side, the money is rushing out a lot quicker than it's comeing in, and that aint a good thing to my mind.

----------


## dirtydog

Nasty Bastard Thais:

Now I like squirrels, not mrs quirrel but real squirrels, now when me staff first moved to the land they asked the galfriend if they could borrow one of those mouse trapping cages, now I'm all for people keeping pets, pets are nice and kids love them.

They have been there for a while now and I have to admit not to seeing any mouse cages full of mice.

Today I saw this:




Hmmmm, where's the site manager I asked the lowly foreman, "oh, he's out catching birds", said the lowly foreman, hmmm ok this was lunch time today....

It gets worse believe me, now I used to have a couple of squirrels as pets, mickie and minnie they were called, they were great pets and we used to let them loose and they would come when you called them, loved being stroked etc etc, well this next picture is not for the faint hearted.....

----------


## dirtydog

MICKIE IS DEAD

Well the site manager came back from his unsuccessful bird catching trip at 1pm ready for work again, so I asked him about all this, it seems they are catching everything that is alive and killing it and eating it, so far they have eaten 10 squirrels and 3 of some other fluffy tailed animal, I really couldn't understand their eagerness to move out of a nice bungalow to a shanty town in the middle of the jungle so to speak, now I realise why, they like to kill and eat small fluffy animals, ohhh, and birds, anyway here's a picture of a bbqued squirrel I took today...

----------


## Marmite the Dog

Does it taste like chicken?

----------


## dirtydog

I will get them to keep one specialy for you marmite, then you can tell us  :Smile:  I assume you would prefer the head and tail removed....

----------


## Marmite the Dog

Completely filleted if possible. I hate twatting around with bones, fat & skin.

Cheers.

----------


## dirtydog

Well the walls are coming along at a rapid pace and the money is going out at a rapid pace  :Sad: 

Today they had a nice baby squirell in the old rat trap thingy, it must have all of 80 grams of meat on it, I shall check whether it's still there tomorrow, or whether another tail is hung with the rest....

----------


## dirtydog

two sides of the lands walls are now up  :Smile: 

and more importantly they have decided to keep the squirrel as a pet, yep they aint gonna bbq this one thank god, they have put him in the rabbits cage, I am not sure what happens at night when the rabbits are caught and put back in their cage, or maybe the rabbits are just left free at night, anyway Sunday we are starting to plant all our fruit trees there, as Marmite has mentioned my place here looks like a jungle and I have a load more fruit trees in the back garden if you can call an area of 2 met by 1 met a garden, the staffs veg garden is doing well and I bought erm 7 more packs of seeds today, so it looks like with all the fruit and veg and jungle animals they catch they will never have to buy food again, it maybe time to mention the wage decrease i have been thinking about  :Smile:

----------


## Curious George

> Today they had a nice baby squirell in the old rat trap thingy, it must have all of 80 grams of meat on it...
> 
> ...and more importantly they have decided to keep the squirrel as a pet....


Seems to me they're considering fattening it up first!

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by dirtydog
> 
> Today they had a nice baby squirell in the old rat trap thingy, it must have all of 80 grams of meat on it...
> 
> ...and more importantly they have decided to keep the squirrel as a pet....
> 
> 
> Seems to me they're considering fattening it up first!


That's what I was thinking, too.

----------


## dirtydog

Ok they now have another squirrel, yep they got a boy and a girl, these are kept in the rabbit cage, at night the rabbits are kept in the toilet, so next month I am going to have them build an avary type thing, about 4 met by 4 met, with a small pond in it aswell, I shall buy some birds to keep in there and the squirrels can live there, baby squirrels sell for 350baht each and these things breed like rabbits, ie the male gets on top of the female etc etc, anyway here is a picture of the rabbits sleeping area.

----------


## dirtydog

And of course we need a picture of their veggie garden, they got mint, basil, chilli, papaya trees, plus lot's of stuff that I wouldn't eat.

----------


## dirtydog

And here's the chain gang at work, normally they call me boss, I wonder if I can get them to call me bwana.

----------


## dirtydog

And here they are, 2 massive great big walls that have cost me a small fortune, and they havent been rendered off yet  :Sad:

----------


## dirtydog

Off course we wonder what they do in the evening to entertain themselves, well all will be exposed, one of them is now in the process of making a bamboo hamock, obviously most of them prefer to go into the jungle and kill and eat small defenceless little animals, one of them makes 4 foot fishing rods out of bamboo, a couple of them a few days set up a load of 6 meter lenghs of bamboo upright into the ground, I did ask why, it seems they put glue on the top of the pole and hope a bird lands on it, then they eat the bird...

----------


## dirtydog

Well tomorrow shall be an exciting day, We are going to take about 20 or 30 fruit trees from my back garden and front jungle and plant them in the "orchard", the "orchard" area keeps getting flooded during the rains but I reckon with about 30 trees there that will sort out that problem, easy answer is not to water them for about a month before the rainy season next year.

The avary I am quite excited about now and may move the schedule ahead for that, hell baby minor birds sell for 1,500baht per bird, that's one and a half meters of garden wall cost wise, time to start getting some money in for this bloody land, I shall also make a mushroom house, yep grow the old tasteless Thai mushrooms that the Thais love so much, A few years ago I tried importing the spoor for the good old English mushrooms, but it seems they are already mixed with the medium they need to grow and Thai customs would not allow that sort of thing to pass.

----------


## dirtydog

Good news, and Bad news...

Well we took down to the land about 30 fruit trees, I now realise that this is nowhere near enough to fill that area, I need maybe 100 more, this foking farming lark is bloody expensive, I was going to take a picture, but I have to admit I was too embarrassed to, it still looks like barren land.

One of the staff has bought a chicken, the first I saw of it was when I was getting stuff out of the passenger side of the old truck and it attacked my foot, yes I admit I started screaming like a gal but I thought it was the head of some monstrous big black snake attacking my foot, I had visions of having to let my staff drive me to hospital in my car, it was quite horrifying, oh, how the staff laughed, foking cnuts...

One of the squirrels died last night, yep I think the boy one killed her, I'm really not sure whether they were joking or not when I asked whether they had eaten the dead body, I mean I suppose there is not really any reason not to eat a squirrel that has been killed by another squirrel, but I am more of a foodland type of person.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> One of the staff has bought a chicken, the first I saw of it was when I was getting stuff out of the passenger side of the old truck and it attacked my foot, yes I admit I started screaming like a gal but I thought it was the head of some monstrous big black snake attacking my foot, I had visions of having to let my staff drive me to hospital in my car, it was quite horrifying, oh, how the staff laughed, foking cnuts...


Bloody Poofta!

----------


## dirtydog

hmmmm, I've probably got bird flu now and likely to die in the next couple of days and you call me a bloody poofter, you will regret those words if I die next week from poxy bird flu, evil callous bstard  :Smile:

----------


## Marmite the Dog

MPR....

----------


## Fabian

The thought of being driven by the building staff is really a horrible thought that is a good reason to scream like a girl.

----------


## dirtydog

I quite agree Fabian, especially in my own car, could you just imagine the cement dust he would get on my lovely leather bucket seat? his dirty sticky hands touching my lovely steering wheel, his dirty hands touching my lovely electronic controls for the mirrors and windows and all that stuff, it would be a foking nitemare, anyway I went into the jungle today, now why the fok backpackers pay money for jungle tours I have no idea, luckily I didn't come across any nasty animals, I think my staff have eaten them all, I am thinking of buying a little bit of that jungle and putting my staff there, at least then they can continue on their frenzy of killing these nasty critters, I mean who the fok wants poisonous animals coming onto their land, ok the benifits of living next to a jungle is the temperature is maybe 5 degrees cooler at night, but hell who wants to die from some poxy snake biting you.

Anyway here's a nice picture of the finished bamboo hammock.

----------


## dirtydog

It never ceases to amaze me what Thais can make out of old junk, I mean who would have thought about using bamboo as guttering, when it rains the water runs down the roof onto the bamboo and into one of those big clay pots, the worse thing is that they drink this.

----------


## dirtydog

So today I was aimlessly wandering round the land, the orchard which used to have puddles everytime it rained seems to have been sorted out by putting the trees in there, Now we got puddles every where else on the poxy land, the 2 walls we have built are nearly complete, I shall probably stick barb wire on the top of them so if any burgular gets in they cant escape from the dogs too easily, dogs need exercise and it's good sport for them, obviously if they did catch a burgular I would keep him as a slave for a year or two, ankle chains would probably stop him escaping, he could start with cleaning the windows in this room, as I look out at my beautiful view of the sun setting over the sea I realise that my windows probably haven't been cleaned this year, _maybe time to bring up the subject of a nice young maid again with the galfriend _  actually looking round this room it is more like a slum dwelling, it's all a complete mishmash of crappy furniture and classy furniture, hi tech pcs, old dead pcs, I have just noticed we have 5 foking fans in this room plus the aircon, infact I have one of those water/ice fans with a fan on top of it, I mean that's just totally ridiculous, I have just taken a picture of it and will post it in a minute.

Anyway back to the reason I started this post, I had actually forgot that a lot of Thai people wash their clothes by hand, on my wanders I saw this bowl with clothes in and remembered that most Thais cannot afford a washing machine, so I have decided to give the staff me old twin tub beasty, damn I am nice  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

hmmmm, red fan on top of a grey cooling fan thingy unit, I mean I can't remember buying a foking red fan, I mean who the fok would want a red fan in their place? ok I got 2 blue cieling fans in here with lights, 2 grey fans, and a red one, I mean what went wrong there?

----------


## Fabian

I think it was your girl friend, that's what went wrong.

----------


## dirtydog

Well it's about time for an update, we got two walls completed, the sad bit is with all the stuff we have used to build those 2 walls I could have built a nice bungalow, on the one hand I am running out of money real quick, but on the other hand I can make a killing on the small sectioned off plot, the risks we take...

Anyway the chinky neighbour I saw today and he don't talk to me anymore, I really don't think I could be polite again if he asks me to pay half for his poxy wall.

Next I have to buy dirt, I really begrudge paying for dirt, it just doesn't seem right, but the land does need raising, the amount of times I have paid lorries to take away excess dirt and here I am in the situation of having to pay for it...

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> but on the other hand I can make a killing on the small sectioned off plot, the risks we take...


Would your profit be more if you put a house on that small plot, or is it better to just sell it off as it is?

----------


## dirtydog

The profit would be better if I stick a house on there as we make 20 percent net profit on building.

----------


## dirtydog

Well I have been seeing this sign all week pointing down the road to my land, it,s advertising 1 rai for sale.



But yesterday due to the rains and the state of the muddy road I walked to the land,ie I parked at the top of the main road, on my walk I noticed that there wasn't a plot big enough to be one rai, well apart from my plot which is quite a bit bigger than that, yep, I must admit I had thoughts that someone was trying to scam someone by selling my land to them, you know what these people are like, so this evening I got me galfriend to phone them, now the sign does point to my land but it turns out the land he is selling is a couple of hundred meters to the right and he only knows how to draw straight arrows.

Anyway, the good bit is, that going by his asking price my land value has gone up by 50 percent, he is asking 1.5 million for one rai, I paid about a million for one rai, then we ask ourselves can land really go up that much over a few months?

----------


## dirtydog

Well I have to admit what with going to cambodia and working I really havent had the chance to check on my land, so a few hours ago I went to check on it, now I have had 2 to 4 guys working there fo the last couple of weeks, the third wall is coming along quite well, this will be a concrete beam and post wall with in the near future stainless security grills, these we will make ourselves, if I contract it out it will cost over half a million baht, actually nearer a million baht, 20 k and I can buy my own mig welder and do it for about 200,000baht, fok those guys make a good profit and it's time I did aswell, the orchard is doing well although trees seem to grow very slowly, we did have 4 trees die on us but I bought a few more from chantaburi on my way back from Cambodia, the staff now have 4 squirels in their little cage so I told them of my plans for an avery type thing, they were quite excited about this but I believe they were thinking from an eating point of view and not a pets point of view, I didn't go into the bit about they weren't allowed to eat them, anyway the plan of action is to finish the third wall concrete stuff, then I need a water tank tower to auto water the orchard, and then maybe 2 averys.

----------


## dirtydog

Well we just had the phone call to come and pick up the land papers  :Smile:  things are looking good, see sometimes you don't need to bribe people to get things done, so as long as things go ok in the next hour next week it's time to hit the planning office for the first bungalow plans to be approved.

----------


## dirtydog

Hmmmmmm. well off we went to pick up the 2 new chanootes or land papers or whatever you wish to call them, it seems mr fokwitt cnut needs bribing, the situation appears to be that these things have to be done in 6 weeks, it also appears to be that mr fokwitt cnut should pass on the paperwork within 7 days of surveying the land, but mr fokwitt [at][at][at][at] likes ppl to phone him and delay stuff so that he can extort some dosh, of course we didn't bother phoning mr fokwitt cnut to speed up the process as we aint in no rush and we are still building the garden wall, well it took mr fokwitt cnut 5 weeks to pass on the paperwork to the next office, the next office dont like him cos he is making so much dosh, figures of 200k were bandied about per land plot that farangs had financed, well I aint giving mr fokwitt 10baht let alone 200k, anyway it seems that the staff in there are starting a petition to get mr fokwitt kicked out of there cos they get all the abuse while he sits in his nice office, I now wish I had drove a lot faster with mr fokwitt in my car and scared the foking life out of him, anyway the petition has a couple more signatures now, so hopefully mr thieving scumbag thai fokwitt will be sacked and someone more honest can take his job, anyway the young lady has promised to have it all finished by next thursday, we may ask ourselves is dealing with thais worthwhile? this is an easy question to answer though, of course it aint, most are thieving conniving cnuts, i hope this answers your questions  :Smile:

----------


## dirtydog

The pond next door is filling up at a rapid pace, ie a couple more days of rain and the water will be enroaching onto my land, not so good that, anyway on this picture you can see the beam work for the stainless steel security grills, This is nearly finished now as there is only about another 20 meters to go, it's gonna take a bit of time though as I have only got 2 guys working on it each day.

----------


## dirtydog

The poxy pond has flooded and is now filling up my pond, I really didn't want that as I was using my pond for the run off of rainwater on my land,hmmmm....

Anyway the good news is I got the 2 new land papers today, Monday it's off down to the planning office and getting planning permission, so if anyone want's to buy an unbuilt 3 bedroom bungalow on 146 farangwah nows the time to start making offers  :Smile:

----------


## Marmite the Dog

I've got $4 sitting in a drawer at home. That's my bid.

----------


## dirtydog

Not quite the amount I had in mind marmers  :Smile: 

Anyway as you see my pond is full and just about to flood my land, by the end of the day the final 3 posts of my wall will be finished aswell  :Smile:

----------


## Fabian

What's the difference between farang wah and thai wah?

----------


## dirtydog

the spelling?

----------


## dirtydog

well all the posts are up and ready for the nice stainless security grills to go in and hopefully in the next couple of years I will be able to afford them, but hell it is a nice view  :Smile:

----------


## hillbilly

I'm thinking/guessing that this pond is about 5-6 meters/metres deep? Am I close?

----------


## dirtydog

maybe a bit deeper than that hilly, it,s 5 or 6 meters deep when it looks empty and still has water in the bottom.

----------


## Fabian

Forget the grill, put barbed wire on it. I suggest the NATO type, you know with those small razor blades.

----------


## dirtydog

Decided I should visit the land today and see how stuff is progressing, as we can see in this picture the staff are obviously not drinking the pond water as the poxy thing is still full up.




Also we can see that the wall for the small plot of land is nearly finished, well can hardly call it small as it is 20 meters by 30 meters.
My orchard isn't growing at the pace I expected and it could be several more years before there is any fruit, maybe I should have bought bigger trees.

----------


## ChiangMai noon

do you have cement mixers?

I've been living on what amounts to a building site for the past year and still haven't seen a cement mixer, they just use bits of wood and do it manually.

----------


## dirtydog

I have a cement mixer, but we only use it if we are doing a big pour, or have a lot of guys rendering off.

----------


## ChiangMai noon

> but we only use it if we are doing a big pour


why so.
I'm no builder but i'd have thought it would make life a bit easier.

----------


## dirtydog

It all comes down to how much cement or concrete you are going to use over the next hour or so, also the amount of staff, a lot of time you can't justify the time it takes to set up the machine and a bench in front of it for a small job.

----------


## ChiangMai noon

I think i understand.

Maybe tomorrow I will go around taking pictures of builders.

----------


## dirtydog

Bit like using a sledge hammer to bang a nail in to hang a picture  :Smile:

----------


## ChiangMai noon

I came home a couple of weeks ago to find my wife making cement with stuff she'd robbed from the site.
These thai girls are very resourceful.
I can't remember what she was doing with it because I was drunk. Possibly making little platforms for our plants, I'll go and check now.

----------


## dirtydog

The land seems to have acquired quite a few animals, I hadn't been there for quite awhile as I only have 2 guys working there everyday, so if anyone would like a puppy feel free to contact me, there are about 6 or 7 of them and most are black, now I dont want to pressure anybody into adopting these cute things, but if they aint got homes to goto I believe my staff will eat them, black dog soup is said to be a thai favourite dish.

----------


## dirtydog

I also found this fighting chicken aswell, so I probably have bird flu now and will likely die next week.




also 2 ducks that cant swim, I saw a bucket of water buried in the ground, so I asked my staff about this, they say that the ducks cant swim and are scared of the big pond, so this is where they drink from.




Here is a nice picture of there meal for this evening, they catch these on bamboo poles with a bit of fishing line and hook.




here are one of their luxourious rooms, these are available to rent at a very good rate for td posters.

----------


## dirtydog

The storage area is also the base for the weekends disco, as you can see by these 2 pics they are into hitech music systems.




and here is their other speaker.

----------


## Fabian

> here are one of their luxourious rooms, these are available to rent at a very good rate for td posters.


How much? I don't want to spoil the wife with all these four star hotels and such accomodation would remind her of home.

----------


## dirtydog

The vegetable garden is a roaring success, every Thai herb and spice you can think of is growing in abundance, in fact my galfriend nicked a couple of kiloes of stuff, I really have no idea of what it was though but she seems happy, the orchard is still not doing that well  :Sad:

----------


## dirtydog

30baht per nite sound ok fabian? not including electric of course though, that would be charged per unit  :Smile:

----------


## Fabian

You have electricity there? Maybe the place is too posh for us.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

I wish I could take one of those lovely little puppies off of you, but alas, I live in a condo and it just wouldn't be fair on the little blighters.

I'll try some of the soup though to make up for it.

----------


## hillbilly

I'll take a bowl of soup too. Keep up the good work dawg!

----------


## DrAndy

land is languishing, it seems

----------


## dirtydog

The money is going out too quickly  :Sad:  got one guy working alone there everyday .

----------


## DrAndy

never mind, I am looking forward to some progress

we have recently bought a piece in CM, but it will not be until next year when we actually start work...planning permission etc etc

----------


## NickA

> Maybe tomorrow I will go around taking pictures of builders.


Is that a hobby of yours????

----------


## weescotsguy66

So how is the house buildimng going DD ???

----------


## DrAndy

your nik reminds me of a situation I got myself into weescots

I needed some small building job done, and there was a guy working next door. So I went round. He was on the floor fixing something, so I asked him "are you a small builder?"  meaning did he tackle small jobs

when he stood up he was about 5' tall and not amused. he did not even bother to come round to quote.

----------


## dirtydog

> So how is the house buildimng going DD ???


extremely slowly at the moment, just got one guy that works there everyday rendering off the garden walls...

----------


## dirtydog

Well all the walls were finished a while ago, now we come to a tale of woe and sorrow and stupidity.

2 months ago the new neighbour started on his land, he decided his first job was some infill to build up the height of his land, this is the one that is going to be the fishing park, 10 wheel lorries in out everyday, a grader spread out all the nice dirt, now this plot of land is about 3 rai, 1 rai of this is the lake, our land adjoins on one 50 meter wall, anyway his moronic grader had an accident and smashed down 40 meters of that wall, anyway 60 days later he had rebuilt that wall for us, he finished it a couple of weeks ago, about 10 days ago my staff called on me to check out on the land, the land behind both of us decided to make a run off for his 5 rai lake, ie he got a digger in and dug about a 100 meter long hole which ended behind my back wall, me being half sensible realised that when it rained millions of liters of water would be crashing into my back wall and would tear it down, now that's 100,000baht plus of poxy wall, so I got my staff to fill it so it stopped at the fishing parks wall, alas the last couple of days we have had torrential rain, yep it so far has torn down about 10 meters of the wall my neighbour has just finished building, it has also washed about 20,000bahts worth of his soil into my lake, now I have my staff filling in the narrow points of this runoff to stop more water getting into my lake, but the odds are it will take down the far wall on my land aswell, the owner of the land behind is now panicing due to his moronic stupidity and now wants to do another runoff from my lake to my neighbours lake who actually needs water as he sells it to the water lorries, the sheer moronic stupidity of these people will never cease to amaze me, still at least it aint like a car accident where they can run away, but sometimes there sheer lack of forethought on anything at all still is absolutely amazing, when the fishing parks grader first knocked down our wall the owner of the fishing parks first words were we didn't build the wall strong enough, that is quite true, but we weren't expecting a foking 5 ton grader to be pushing against it, now I feel like asking him why he didn't build our wall strong enough for a little bit of rain, but I don't think he would understand the irony of it all, anyway the owner of the land behind is now going to rebuild this wall yet again, I assume over the next few rainy days the rest of it will collapse, so this could end up being the most expensive wall in Thailand due to sheer stupidity and carelessness, still as they say, 3rd time lucky, plus I get all the old concrete to help infill my lake, so it aint all bad, but fok me these people are foking stooooopid...........................

----------


## Dougal

A chap near us in HH has built himself a nice house with an eight foot fence running for about 70 metres down the side. As the land slopes down and he didn't want to put a lot of fill in the wall is tepped down with the slope of the land.

All fine and dandy except that during the summer someone bought the piece of land next to hiim and decided that he DID want a nice flat piece of land so the guy who built himslef a nice eight foot wall for a bit of privacy now has a wall eight foot tall on his side and four foot tall on the other at the upper end and about a foot tall at the lower end.

Of course the land fill has not gone right up against the wall, but as soon as it rains guess where all the water is going to run to. I hope he built the foundations of his 'embankment' nice and deep.

----------


## aging one

I gotta go off track it just took me an hour to get home on a journey that is normally ten minutes. Why?  The traffic light just before my house is in front of Don Muang Police station. The rain knocked it out. It had stopped raining.  Well what do Thai coppers do, they are out there trying to be electricians and fix the light. Not a one noticed that no cars were moving in any direction. They just kept right on working as one lane of traffic became 2 or more in each direction. There was no way out.  

Not one copper in the whole station thought to direct traffic, so damn it I got out with the kids in school uniform and started to get the traffic going.  After about 10 minutes one looks up at me and my kids and sees traffic is flowing.  Walks up to me and says "Tham Arai"  Fuck you asshole what do you think me and two 8 year old girls are doing. "We are doing your fucking job you idiot",  Which my daughters translated a little mellower than that. "kop koon kop" he said and started to walk away.  

I had the girls shout for him to get his ass over where I was and do his damn job. 

Finally got home, to thanks to the retarded cops in Don Muang.

----------


## dirtydog

Well the truth is coming out, it was actually the fishing park owner who dug the moat on the other mans land, it seems that he wanted to put a drainage ditch into my land and assumed that I would then carry on this drainage ditch into the next land, hmmmm, it's like, before this cnut came I didn't have any problem so why would I pay for drainage? I was quite happy with my half filled lake and every week we chucked some more infill in there to help build the land up, hell we would need to build 200 swimming pools to fill my lake up, he now keeps phoning up asking _What are we gonna do_. well we aint gonna do fok all, my galfriend doesn't bother answering his calls, this cnut now has damaged the walls on the far side of our land which will cost about 5k baht to rebuild, and now about 100,000bahts worth of his topsoil has been washed into our lake due to torrential rain over the last 3 days, the lake is 50 meters by 10 meters and 5 meters deep, we got a few more months of rain so I expect we should have about half a million bahts worth of his soil in our lake by the end of the rainy season, by the end of the rainy season I expect about 30 to 50k baht worths of damage to our far wall, seems a fair deal to me for his foking stupidity and selfishness, I mean would any normal person run major drainage to somebody elses land and not tell them? Then suddenly when it all foks up for them contact the owner and explain what they have done and ask "_ What are we gonna do?_ WE? FOK U SUNSHINE.....

----------


## klongmaster

you guys are scaring the shit out of me about this land ownership thing...

not much neighbourly love being shown in these stories...

maybe a condo was better after all!

----------


## dirtydog

It's not so bad, the village head honcho ie the big chief phoned this morning, our back wall backs onto his land  :Smile:  his land is now flooded, he has made our neighbour fill in his drain leading to our land and has told the cnut to rebuild our walls, he aint a happy soldier so to speak, it seems the neighbours idea was to run a drain to our land and then we would run a drain to the head honchos land, the head honcho was a bit annoyed about this idea as nobody had told him and they hadn't asked us either untill they dug out the trench.

----------


## dirtydog

The rainy season is still on and the soil is washing into our lake, I really have no idea of how much this soil is worth, I mean we must have a couple of hundred thousands bahts worth of soil so far, the fishing park guy has stopped work on his building as he has run out of money, the head chief honcho is shoring up his lake as best he can but I think the road will fall into it, another meter high on his lake and the road will be completely destroyed, this should happen in the next month or 2 as now the big higher lake is all draining into his from ours, he don't even bother phoning us anymore to find out what we are gonna do as he knows that answer already, dirt is money as they say and we need loads of dirt.

The last week I have had a couple of staff chopping down what used to be the orchard and is now a jungle of 6 foot high grass, fok it's higher than my trees I think, aint dared to enter it due to poisonous animals.

The small plot of land I have stuck up for sale in the local supermarket, got to sell that pretty quick, may stick an advert in foodland aswell, hell it's a bargain for anybody plus I need a bit of dosh before the end of the year in the old bank account, so many plans for the land and all I have done is built the garden wall  :Sad:

----------


## RandomChances

> The last week I have had a couple of staff chopping down what used to be the orchard and is now a jungle of 6 foot high grass, fok it's higher than my trees I think, aint dared to enter it due to poisonous animals.


You should get a cow.

----------


## dirtydog

> You should get a cow.


The family would get too attached to it and there would be no T Bone steaks, just a pet cow.....

----------


## Little Chuchok

^^ he could borrow mine.... :Smile:

----------


## harrymand

How high is it allowable to build a fence?

----------


## dirtydog

I believe 2 meters without planning permission.

----------


## Ban Saray

I see where you get your temper from now.
I have been through all of this twice.
Thats why I want to do the next house myself.
At least I have a small block and a faily level, well drained block to start.
I notice the land lept in price in 2005, it's been spiralling in Bang Saray as well.
I really feel for you about the wall, and especially as you had to crimp and save to get it done.
We better have a beer together one day mate, and swap building stories.

----------


## ChiangMai noon

^
apologies.........
 :Sad:

----------


## NickA

^Bit early (or late) to be on the beer isn't it, CMN?

----------

