#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Living In Thailand Forum >  >  > The Family Room >  >  Weaning a kid away from Thai style parenting

## Marmite the Dog

Hmmm.... where do I start?

I've just acquired an 18 month old kid who has previously been brought up the Thai way and we need to correct this before it's too late. Therefore, I reckon I've got about 6 months to address this.

There are a few specific areas that are problems in my western eyes.

1. He's a victim of the 'I want - I cry - I get' syndrome. 

This is quite simple to remedy (in theory). He gets told 'no', if it's not appropriate. He's still a bit wary of me, so its working quite well at the moment.

2. The grandparents used to give him milk all through the night whenever he woke up, which seems to be every 30 mins or so. Also, milk seems to have been used as a substitute for food most of the time. The milk they gave us was shitty soya milk with a sugar content of 10%. I have noticed that he is very mucusy and I belive the large quantities of milk are at least partially to blame for this.

Now he gets a bottle of milk at breakfast and one before bedtime. That's it. Otherwise he eats normal, non-spicy food. Fresh veges and a bit of fish or chicken. The milk he will be given in future is semi-skimmed, normal milk. I also want to get him using those beakers with the little mouthpiece on top rather than a baby's bottle.

3. In a one roomed house, it is quite natural that the family all sleeps together. We don't live in a one roomed house, so that is going to stop too. Not yet though, as the poor little mite needs to settle in first and get comfortable with his surroundings and more importantly, get used to me.

I think the way forward with this is to put him to bed with the Midget until he falls asleep, then she can leave him. This will obviously have to wait until he is sleeping properly and not expecting to feed all night.

4. He can barely speak, which for 18 months is a bit poor.

The Midget will get some books and start reading to him soon.

5. He still wears Pampers in the day time.

I don't mind them at night, but surely he should be training to use a potty about now? We have tiled floors, so the odd accident isn't a problem.

Are there any other tips that parents can share with us to help the lad speak more and ultimately start reading?

The Midget is 100% behind all of this as she is worried about his development too, and we have talked a lot about the best way of being good parents and maing the lad happy as well as strong & independant.

I'm sure more things will come to mind and of course, any other useful advice is appreciated.

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## good2bhappy

^ what is wrong with the above?

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## good2bhappy

> 4. He can barely speak, which for 18 months is a bit poor.


 Not that unusual



> 5. He still wears Pampers in the day time.


saves clearing up the mess




> 1. He's a victim of the 'I want - I cry - I get' syndrome.


so are many children in the west

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## good2bhappy

> The milk he will be given in future is semi-skimmed, normal milk.


full fat(normal) is better. However these days powdered milks by a reputable company are more nutricous

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## The Fresh Prince

> I've just acquired an 18 month old kid


How did this come about?

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## CharleyFarley

Just treat him as your own, and do what comes naturally.

Don't dare imagine what twaddle he's been listening to for 18 mnths.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> 4. He can barely speak, which for 18 months is a bit poor.
> 
> 
>  Not that unusual


OK, I didn't know. That's reassuring.




> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> 5. He still wears Pampers in the day time.
> 
> 
> saves clearing up the mess


I'd prefer to get him potty trained sooner, rather than later. I don't want him starting school still wearing Pampers and pissing himself every day.




> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> 1. He's a victim of the 'I want - I cry - I get' syndrome.
> 
> 
> so are many children in the west


Doesn't mean it's good though. Anyway, he's out of luck with this one.




> How did this come about?


He's the Midget's son and he needs to be with his mother rather than the extended family who are too busy to look after him properly.

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## DrB0b

Barely speaking at 18 months is pretty normal. A lot of kids don't speak much until they're about two years old. Don't try to force it, you'll do more harm than good. Best thing you can do is talk to him as much as possible in English, toddlers can pick up new languages pretty quickly.

Same thing for pampers, wearing nappies at 18 months is pretty normal, nothing to worry about. Potty training isn't difficult. This might sound weird but my son learnt to use the toilet by seeing me and his mum use it, children like to copy what their parents do so it only took a week or two for him to start using the potty we put in the bathroom for him. If by school you mean kindergarten then Thai kindergartens potty-train the kids themselves.

Food is a difficult one, the only way I've been able to stop my son turning into one of those obese Thai brats is to restrict the time he spends alone with his Thai relatives. They completely fail to understand that stuffing him with fried foods and sweets is not an act of kindness and they think I'm some kind of monster for rationing his intake. 

My son sleeps in the same bed as we do, I didn't like it at first but now I miss him terribly if he's not there. I don't think you'll have much luck with making him sleep in another room, children sleeping with their parents is deeply engrained in Thai culture, nothing to do with how many rooms are available. It does go too far though, I know of one 13 year old girl who still sleeps with her mum every night - that's just weird.

Books are important. You should read to him too, in English.

Don't sweat it too much, at 18 months he's still a baby but over the next 6 months to a year he'll develop into a proper human being, talking (endlessly) and full of curiosity.

One thing that I've learned to watch for is that a lot of Thais expect their children to be obedient, respectful, little robots. As a farang it's your duty to teach him naughtiness, wickedness, deviltry, and all the anarchic stuff that, I think, goes to make a well-balanced adult.

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## good2bhappy

well good luck
love is the best parent.
18 months may be a little early for potty training.
Once they start getting the hang of it they get very good at using it.

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## good2bhappy

> I know of one 13 year old girl who still sleeps with her mum every night - that's just weird.


Going a bit too far! ( although I have heard stories)
I think at about 5 it is easy to get them to sleep in their own room
But hey when you were kids and you were frightened at night didn't you creep to your parents room? ( older sibling poss)

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## Mr Pot

> 1. He's a victim of the 'I want - I cry - I get' syndrome.


My son's has starting this ever increasingly frequently at 12 months, quite unbearable being at work all day with him in a Thai enviroment.

I always try to make him interact with something else when this occurs so he forgets about trying to achieve his previous goals.

Kids can be a pain, a recent example was my son trying to put his finger in the fan and your trying to get the message across that it's not such a good idea or way to lose your fingers, resulting of course with tears when you move the fan; you'll be very busy Mtd with a 18 month old  :Smile:

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## good2bhappy

children love doing what they are told not to!
As long as it is not a metal fan he won't get harmed as the blades rotate in a way that pushes the finger out!
Although it will hurt. The best lesson!

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## DrivingForce

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> The milk he will be given in future is semi-skimmed, normal milk.
> 
> 
> full fat(normal) is better. However these days powdered milks by a reputable company are more nutricous


agreed on both counts...he should be using formula but most everything else sounds pretty good... 

My boys stopped using diapers at about that age in the day time, buy him a training pottie and make using it a big deal my boys still wore diapers at night until they were 4, that worked quite well. Gave both of them plenty of advanced notice that they were not going to be sleeping with them anymore and they both made the transition very well , in fact my youngest just stopped in the end of January and hasn't had a night time accident, though they will happen eventually, but so far both boys do very well.

Get some of those bed pads for incontinence to put under his sheets to prevent the mattress from getting pee'd on.. 

Mostly sounds like your doing well tough MTD, but as you said get him off those damn sugary drinks and foods, I even water down their juice and now they know no better.. Too much sugar is why he can't sleep he keep getting sugar highs and then crashing the poor little guy, more sleep, less sugar...

 Your idea with the misses lying down initially is good but you should take turns lying down with him so he'll bond to you as well as loose some of his dependence on her..Good luck! MTDaddy....... :Smile:  seems you're going to have to change your nik too like MilkMan...

I would start brushing his gum's too in the morning with a soft tooth brush he will begin to teeth soon and that will help him get used to brushing and cut his teeth. I had my mom send me over some teething cream I have yet to see here which will numb the gum's and give him some pain relief, I used that to brush my childrens gum's with and it worked great! They had very little discomfort or complaining, plus they got way ahead of the curve on brushing their teeth..

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## Mr Pot

> Although it will hurt. The best lesson!


I agree with this but I could never convince the wife.

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## DrivingForce

> I'd prefer to get him potty trained sooner, rather than later. I don't want him starting school still wearing Pampers and pissing himself every day.


should take until he's about 3 though, pushing him to hard will only cause more issues..Mostly with your sanity... :Smile:

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## Rural Surin

> ^ what is wrong with the above?


....disconnections and unawareness?

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## good2bhappy

> teething cream I have yet to see here which will numb the gum's and give him some pain relief


my nanny used to rub opium into my gums. did the trick!
Not that I am advocating that

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## Lily

> OK, I didn't know. That's reassuring.


Not at all unusual.




> I'd prefer to get him potty trained sooner, rather than later. I don't want him starting school still wearing Pampers and pissing himself every day.


Toilet training for boys doesn't usually happen until after two. It can be self defeating to try too hard when the child isn't ready for it.

Keep the nappies off him in the day, but dont make a fuss when he wets his pants. They have to be able to see the results before they know that it isn't going to be soaked up by a nappy.

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## Marmite the Dog

Thanks for all the posts, so far. 

The main thing seems to be the sleeping with Mum syndrome. I really understand what you're saying B0b, but you also have to remember that he's not my blood, so there isn't a bond yet (hell I've only known him for 24 hours). But, I really am insistent that he sleeps in his own room (eventually).

Another problem is that the folks he lived with until recently, are going to make him homesick if they visit, so apart from Gran bringing some stuff over today, I don't want any of them here for a while until he settles in, as I don't think it's fair on the lad.

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## Lily

> he should be using formula but most everything else sounds pretty good...


I totally disagree with that. He is not a little baby and it is not his whole diet. He should be drinking milk and full cream preferably. Kids need a certain amount of fat in their diets. 

Try to substitute the morning bottle with a feeding cup. He will still want the nighttime one, even if just for comfort while he is going to sleep. I would also try to have him sleep beside you, not in the same bed, as a step to sleeping on his own in his own room.

Eighteen months is young enough to undo the bad habits he has been taught.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Mostly sounds like your doing well tough MTD, but as you said get him off those damn sugary drinks and foods, I even water down their juice and now they know no better.. Too much sugar is why he can't sleep he keep getting sugar highs and then crashing the poor little guy, more sleep, less sugar...


Agreed. Sugar is banned!






> I would start brushing his gum's too in the morning with a soft tooth brush he will begin to teeth soon and that will help him get used to brushing and cut his teeth. I had my mom send me over some teething cream I have yet to see here which will numb the gum's and give him some pain relief, I used that to brush my childrens gum's with and it worked great! They had very little discomfort or complaining, plus they got way ahead of the curve on brushing their teeth..


He's not had his teeth cleaned yet. When I asked why, I was told that Gran didn't bring his toothbrush over. I said to just use your one until we have time to go to Tesco as Thai toothbrushes are as soft as baby ones anyway, and it's better than nowt.




> Keep the nappies off him in the day, but dont make a fuss when he wets his pants. They have to be able to see the results before they know that it isn't going to be soaked up by a nappy.


My thoughts too. I'll wait a few days before making yet another change in his life though.

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## DrivingForce

> I think at about 5 it is easy to get them to sleep in their own room


My boys have been sleeping on their own since they were born and in their own room since they were 1 year old..It's very dangerous for adults to sleep with babies you can crush the litt un while your sleeping and suffocate them, the aren't strong enough to move you themselves or let you know, my boys are well adjusted and very strong, my feeling is it builds a strong sense of independence and character..it is also nice for the parents sanity and social life as well..

We took turns and laid down with them just until they went to sleep and then put them in their own crib or bed which ever it happened to be..When they were babies they slept in our room though until they  were a year old but in their own crib..This is one reason why Thai's are such babies their entire life..One habit/custom you should definitely break..

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## Marmite the Dog

> I totally disagree with that. He is not a little baby and it is not his whole diet. He should be drinking milk and full cream preferably. Kids need a certain amount of fat in their diets.


I agree with the formula bit. I think he's old enough to get off that stuff now. Is UHT ok?




> Try to substitute the morning bottle with a feeding cup.


Yes, I think I said that somewhere.




> I would also try to have him sleep beside you, not in the same bed, as a step to sleeping on his own in his own room.


I did think about that, but there's not an awful lot of room and the bed is quite high. We shall see.

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## DrivingForce

> children love doing what they are told not to!
> As long as it is not a metal fan he won't get harmed as the blades rotate in a way that pushes the finger out!
> Although it will hurt. The best lesson!


bullocks! until he does put it into a fan with metal blades, move the fan out of his reach and tell him why..

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## Marmite the Dog

> My boys have been sleeping on their own since they were born and in their own room since they were 1 year old..It's very dangerous for adults to sleep with babies you can crush the litt un while your sleeping and suffocate them, the aren't strong enough to move you themselves or let you know, my boys are well adjusted and very strong, my feeling is it builds a strong sense of independence and character..it is also nice for the parents sanity and social life as well..
> 
> We took turns and laid down with them just until they went to sleep and then put them in their own crib or bed which ever it happened to be..When they were babies they slept in our room though until they were a year old but in their own crib..This is one reason why Thai's are such babies their entire life..One habit/custom you should definitely break..


I totally agree with that.

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## DrivingForce

> I totally disagree with that. He is not a little baby and it is not his whole diet. He should be drinking milk and full cream preferably. Kids need a certain amount of fat in their diets.


I know you claim to be a nurse but that doesn't make you all knowing.. Formulas contain fat, the proper types, and many other vitamins not found in typical cow's milk that contribute to things like higher sources of calcium for teeth and bone growth and build their immune system, they have differing formulas for various ages that target nutrients for those age groups up to 3 and even older, though I'm not advocating going past 3.. Technology has advanced quite a bit since the dark ages.. Kids don't get enough nutrients at that age due to smaller portions and growth requirements, they need to be supplemented.

He should also be having a snack bottle in the afternoon too..

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## Lily

Cant you get him a cot? I know that they arent used much in Thailand, but that is why people had them. You could put it next to the bed.

Most parents of little kids have to put them to bed each night and stay with them until they go to sleep.

It is easy for natural parents and you cannot be expected, just yet, to have the same patience. 
But it should come. He is young enough for you to bond with him. Make sure that you give him lots of attention and help him with everday practical things so that he feels you are his protector too.

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## Lily

> Formulas contain fat, the proper types, and many other vitamins not found in typical cow's milk that contribute to things like higher sources of calcium for teeth and bone growth and build their immune system, they have differing formulas for various ages that target nutrients for those age groups up to 3 and even older, though I'm not advocating going past 3.. Technology has advanced quite a bit since the dark ages.. Kids don't get enough nutrients at that age due to smaller portions and growth requirements, they need to be supplemented.


You have fallen for the Nestle brainwashing of Asian parents.

Kids don't have formula until they are three in the west. They should be eating a varied diet.

They wont eat a varied diet if they are still bottle fed.

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## Rural Surin

Looks as if everyone has their ideal of what perfect parenting is.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Cant you get him a cot?


I shall look into it, but they always look like prisons to me, plus I think he'd be better in a Thai style bed on the floor as that is what he's used to. The Midget or I will also be able to cuddle him to sleep better in a Thai style bed, as I think I'd have trouble fitting in a cot.  :Smile: 




> They should be eating a varied diet.


We eat very well here, so I also agree that proper food is miles better than some manufactured crap that comes in a box.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Looks as if everyone has their ideal of what perfect parenting is.


Let's hear your take on it then.

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## blackgang

> The milk he will be given in future is semi-skimmed, normal milk. I also want to get him using those beakers with the little mouthpiece on top rather than a baby's bottle.


Use ChokChai 100% milk,, it is the best milk here and is of a more consistent quality and flavor than any others, I used to buy milk a few years ago and throw away about 3 out of 5 bottles because of strange tastes, finally Chok Chai came into being and it is the best I have found and will be good for him, and it says on the bottles, for home delivery call xxxxxz, so seem like be in BKK tho.
But full cream milk in Thailand is about like 2% elsewhere.




> 5. He still wears Pampers in the day time.


As has been stated,, get and use training pants or training diapers, that way they can pull em down and back up by themselves.

And he should have his own bed, Use it for naps at first and eventually before he even realizes it he will be doing all his sleeping there and wondering just what the fuck happened.

My daughter at about late 3s was sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night with her dog and she would crawl in my bed so gently that even hearing the dog go to her blanket I would have to feel to see if the kid was in my bed, sneaky little shit.

But it was a different story when my kid was a baby and her mother didn't want her and her crib was in our room and at about 2 months she had colic and he beaner went over to the crib and smacked the kid because she was crying, I told her if she ever hit the kid again that they would find another dead greaser floating at the Playa the next morning, and she slept on her belly on my chest til she was big enough to lay beside me, and so she did sleep in my bed til we left Mexico and came to the states, when she was 1 year old and so it did take a little doing to get her in her own bed.

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## Lily

> as I think I'd have trouble fitting in a cot.


I just had a mental image of that. Cracked me up!

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## DrivingForce

Get him a playpen with net sides MTD and put him to sleep  in that  at least, that's what we did until they were 2 or 2 and a half I can't remember now, he'll fall out of a cot, plus the siding makes him feel surrounded,safe and secure..

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## Marmite the Dog

> Use ChokChai 100% milk,, it is the best milk here and is of a more consistant quality and flavor than any others


I should be able to find it in Udon. And yes, it's the best milk here by a mile (except for the King's Project stuff).

As always, a pleasure to read your posts, BG.

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## DrivingForce

> As has been stated,, get and use training pants or training diapers, that way they can pull em down and back up by themselves.


yeah BG that's what I meant..Not actual diapers anymore but pull ups..  :Wink:

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## Lily

> he'll fall out of a cot, plus the siding makes him feel surrounded,safe and secure..


I think we have a different idea of cots.

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## Lily

> As always, a pleasure to read your posts, BG.


I actually agree that. Well, that one, anyway.

Except for the death threats to his wife (deserved if true), I agree with everything he said. A first time for everything I suppose.

If I hadn't eschewed the reppo system, I green him for that post!

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## DrivingForce

> We eat very well here, so I also agree that proper food is miles better than some manufactured crap that comes in a box.


misunderstanding!!! he should be eating both, not one or the other..But a snack bottle in the afternoon about 3 and another just before bedtime.. Not in place of real meals..

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## blackgang

> I have 4 brothers and sisters and I was an uncle 7 times over and a great uncle 3 times over before even having my own children..So besides my own empirical experience I have the internet available with a wealth of information to make up my own mind and besides we have Oprah!


Fuck DF, That ain't really shit,, I was a grandfather many times over and a great grandfather when my last kid was born, and I raised her from 3 days to 6 years old by myself ontil she was sent back to the states to go to school.




> We eat very well here, so I also agree that proper food is miles better than some manufactured crap that comes in a box.


That sounds very good, so then that means no GERBERS for your kid, but might I suggest a food processor and instruction book for awhile yet,, but he could do without at 18 mos. tho.

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## Sir Burr

Been away from here for awhile.
Back then, MtD was single. Has this changed? Who is the "Midget"?

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## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by blackgang
> 
> As has been stated,, get and use training pants or training diapers, that way they can pull em down and back up by themselves.
> 
> 
> yeah BG that's what I meant..Not actual diapers anymore but pull ups..


OK, I've checked and that's what he's using. So we got something right, but I'd be happier if he just wore a pair of shorts during the day. We'll get there.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> We eat very well here, so I also agree that proper food is miles better than some manufactured crap that comes in a box.
> 
> 
> That sounds very good, so then that means no GERBERS for your kid, but might I suggest a food processor and instruction book for awhile yet,, but he could do without at 18 mos. tho.


I've no idea what Gerbers are, so it'll not be a great loss.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Back then, MtD was single. Has this changed? Who is the "Midget"?


The Midget is my bird. She's not very tall.  :Smile:

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## DrivingForce

> Fuck DF, That ain't really shit,, I was a grandfather many times over and a great grandfather when my last kid was born, and I raised her from 3 days to 6 years old by myself ontil she was sent back to the states to go to school.


nobody can compare to you BG most breathing people haven't been here as long as you have yet..  :Wink:   :Tongue:  But it does compare favorably to the average 20 something parent doing it all by the skin of no practical experience as most of the worlds population does....

BTW MTD back on topic you're spot on to get them away from her parents except for occasional visits as much as possible and have her be more involved. It always amazes me how Thai's leave child raring up to the grandparents so that by the time they have grand children of their own they're just learning how to parent a generation behind.. WTF is up with that? 

Just like how does a middle age nanny get any parenting experience? When I was working I had a nanny with 2 of her own children who was learning how to be a parent with my children as guinea pigs, that wasn't all bad as I taught her my way but it was difficult as you never knew what to expect in terms of common sense..
I've just spent the last 2 years getting my boys back into good shape again after she took care of them for only 3 months..

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## good2bhappy

gerbers are a cereal baby food

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## DrivingForce

> gerbers are a cereal baby food


not just cereal...many different types of jarred food ..though severely limited here in selection...

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## pickel

Good on ya Marmite.  :Smile: 






> you're so fecking thick at times Lily, it IS a misunderstanding!!


Get off your high horse tough guy. :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

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## Sir Burr

> Originally Posted by good2bhappy
> 
> 
> gerbers are a cereal baby food
> 
> 
> not just cereal...many different types of jarred food ..though severally limited here in selection...


Isn't Gerbers a top-of-the-line knife manufacturer as well?

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## kingwilly

wow - congratulations, MtDAD.

you are going to need a lot of patience, but it will be rewarding also.




> 5. He still wears Pampers in the day time.  I don't mind them at night, but surely he should be training to use a potty about now? We have tiled floors, so the odd accident isn't a problem.






> I'd prefer to get him potty trained sooner, rather than later. I don't want him starting school still wearing Pampers and pissing himself every day.


everyone else has told you its normal by now, but i concur. In fact, my son still wears pull ups at night, and apparently half his class does too, basically let the child decide when he is ready to.


with the food thing, 18 months is not unusual, but give him food first, then let him have the bottle, it is also a comfort thing, so given that his circumstances have suddenly changed best to not push that too hard just yet.

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## good2bhappy

I think the Family room should be like the Newbies room
No nastiness
But families always squable

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## chitown

Marmite. You have become quite the family man.

I am,proud if you!!

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## DrB0b

> Originally Posted by Lily
> 
> Cant you get him a cot?
> 
> 
> I shall look into it, but they always look like prisons to me, plus I think he'd be better in a Thai style bed on the floor as that is what he's used to. The Midget or I will also be able to cuddle him to sleep better in a Thai style bed, as I think I'd have trouble fitting in a cot.


We've got a single bed between our double bed and the wall. It's about 8 inches lower than the double bed. It means that he can sleep beside us and be cuddled and, if he wants, climb in beside us. The big advantage is that we don't get woken up anymore by him moving around the bed, he's a pretty lively sleeper, and my wife and I have enough space in our own bed to be comfortable.

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## Thai Pom

> Marmite. You have become quite the family man.


You have got that right Chitown.  I am in total shock..need a beer

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## chitown

^ Maybe he is engaging in nick swapping?  :Razz:

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## Takeovers

Hi Marmite

I have scanned through the thread and want to add one thing, without participating in the struggle about food.  :Smile: 

You mentioned that you want to raise him bilingual. That's a good idea but you should know one thing. With many children bilingual delays their language skill developement initially. So you should expect that he may not speak much or at all before he is well over two years old. 

I did not know that when our children were small and we gave up on it when he did not speak at age two. Probably we gave up just a bit early. He understood very well, but did hardly speak at all at the time.

And congratulation on becoming a father. They can drive you crazy but the experience is well worth it, I promise.

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## astasinim

> There are a few specific areas that are problems in my western eyes.
> 
> 1. He's a victim of the 'I want - I cry - I get' syndrome.


Just stick to your rules, and never give in. Otherwise your on a hiding to nowhere. He`ll soon learn where the boundaries are.




> 2. The grandparents used to give him milk all through the night whenever he woke up, which seems to be every 30 mins or so. Also, milk seems to have been used as a substitute for food most of the time. The milk they gave us was shitty soya milk with a sugar content of 10%. I have noticed that he is very mucusy and I belive the large quantities of milk are at least partially to blame for this.


He should be sleeping through by now. However I would have thought, he`ll be a little unsettled for a while, until he gets used to his new home. My little lad gets formula before bed only now (19 months old).




> 3. In a one roomed house, it is quite natural that the family all sleeps together. We don't live in a one roomed house, so that is going to stop too. Not yet though, as the poor little mite needs to settle in first and get comfortable with his surroundings and more importantly, get used to me.
> 
> I think the way forward with this is to put him to bed with the Midget until he falls asleep, then she can leave him. This will obviously have to wait until he is sleeping properly and not expecting to feed all night.


My little uns slept in his own room from 6 months. Having spoken with other parents, they seem to think its whatever suits yours and babies needs.




> 4. He can barely speak, which for 18 months is a bit poor.
> 
> The Midget will get some books and start reading to him soon.


Little fella seems to have come on all of a sudden over the last few months. From what ive been told, its not uncommon for lads to be around two before theyre speaking quite clearly.



> 5. He still wears Pampers in the day time.
> 
> I don't mind them at night, but surely he should be training to use a potty about now? We have tiled floors, so the odd accident isn't a problem.


Im told lads are late developers in this department. Just starting to think about training mine around now. The thing is not to make a big deal of it, otherwise it can become an ordeal and take longeer to learn.



> Are there any other tips that parents can share with us to help the lad speak more and ultimately start reading?
> 
> The Midget is 100% behind all of this as she is worried about his development too, and we have talked a lot about the best way of being good parents and maing the lad happy as well as strong & independant.
> 
> I'm sure more things will come to mind and of course, any other useful advice is appreciated.


We have read to our son from the beginning. He loves his books, and chooses what he wants read to him. I also take him to the local library, and get a couple of books per week, so he gets variety. Saves a fortune. :Smile:  Im not sure if there are any similar facilities in Thailand though.

Congratulations and good luck with your new family Marmite.

----------


## blackgang

> I've no idea what Gerbers are, so it'll not be a great l


They are a full line of baby foods, strained fruits, vegs, vegs with meat, and cereal foods too, in fact it don't taste to bad and if you had to you could live on it as some folks do at times when shit happens in the saloon and you end up with a busted jaw.




> gerbers are a cereal baby food


Not quite all cereal.




> Isn't Gerbers a top-of-the-line knife manufacturer as well?


Very ood sir, and a very fine and expensive knife it is too, but a different compny I think.
Gerber Knives, Knives, Wholesale Knives, Pocket Knives, Hunting Knives



> You mentioned that you want to raise him bilingual. That's a good idea but you should know one thing. With many children bilingual delays their language skill developement initially


My daughter did not seem to have any trouble with being bilingual, English and Mexican.
But she was arised and schooled in an English speaking country and when she visited her mother it was spic.

----------


## astasinim

I forgot to mention. Watch him like a hawk, because if he`s anything like mine, he`ll be into everything he shouldnt be. :Smile:

----------


## blackgang

> because if he`s anything like mine, he`ll be into everything he shouldnt be.


Well thats what you get if you want an kid to do his own thinking..

----------


## Lily

> You are right they don't have to listen nor agree, it's purely up to them and my children reflect my sensible and conscious approach as they are quite healthy and happy *with no issues compared to the short time when my wife or any locals take care of them for any short period in their 19th and 20th century style of thinking..*


That is the difference!

----------


## astasinim

> Originally Posted by astasinim
> 
> because if he`s anything like mine, he`ll be into everything he shouldnt be.
> 
> 
> Well thats what you get if you want an kid to do his own thinking..


Im not complaining BG. It never ceases to amaze me, the capacity a child has to learn new things, and the best way of learning, is through experience, good or bad.

----------


## NickA

Has he managed to look at you without crying yet Marmite :Smile:

----------


## blackgang

> Just stick to your rules, and never give in. Otherwise your on a hiding to nowhere. He`ll soon learn where the boundaries are.


Consistency is the key to a well behaved and adjusted child, make the rules and do not change them and always stick to them and they will too, but a child will see just how far he can go, so set the boundary's and do not move them.certain penalties must be administered for certain offenses and those to must be strongly adhered to.




> Im not complaining BG. It never ceases to amaze me, the capacity a child has to learn new things,


I knew you were not complaining and it is truly amazing what the mind of a child can conjure up if allowed to roam within boundary's.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> I forgot to mention. Watch him like a hawk, because if he`s anything like mine, he`ll be into everything he shouldnt be.


Fekkin' tell me about it!

He likes his crocodile tears at the moment, which is funny. We went out on the bike to visit a fair this afternoon (he has his own little seat on the Wave) and was crying for the first few hundred yards, followed by him pretending to ride the bike and loving it for the rest of the trip.

Also, he wasn't too interested in dinner as he's still not 100% with real food, so he had a bit of a paddy there too. I think he's only had solids as snacks before and just the milk for his meals. I guess he'll be hungry for a few days until he starts to eat it. I made my world famous mashed potato too.  :Sad: 




> Has he managed to look at you without crying yet Marmite


He forgets sometimes, but eventually remembers.  :Smile: 

Note to Lily & DTW:
I really appreciate both of your viewpoints on the subject of diet. I have made my choice, so please stop bickering about it. Thanks.

----------


## bkkmadness

You should get some advice from Scampy, he has a 6 and a 7 year old.

----------


## blackgang

> I made my world famous mashed potato too.


Hell, that should fill him up before bedtime and he will sleep the night, can't expect him to sleep to long on a milk diet.

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## klongmaster

> One thing that I've learned to watch for is that a lot of Thais expect their children to be obedient, respectful, little robots. As a farang it's your duty to teach him naughtiness, wickedness, deviltry, and all the anarchic stuff that, I think, goes to make a well-balanced adult.


Great post DB...robots are not wanted....
good luck with this transition MTD...a baby eh...who'd have thunk it...

----------


## kingwilly

> Has he managed to look at you without crying yet Marmite


you'd have to poke the kids eyes out first, i dont think they wanna go that drastic

----------


## DrivingForce

> Consistency is the key to a well behaved and adjusted child, make the rules and do not change them and always stick to them and they will too, but a child will see just how far he can go, so set the boundary's and do not move them.certain penalties must be administered for certain offenses and those to must be strongly adhered to.


yep..... if I said that first there'd be an echo in here...  :Smile: 
Getting him to bed at a reasonable time too, and consistently every night with a bath so he can sleep well. 

I can't believe that just when my boys are coming and getting their toys cleaned up for the day and washing their hands for dinner at about 5:00 that's when all the neighbor kids come out until about 8:00 or 9:00 which is after my kids have eaten had their baths, teeth brushed and settled down for bed, it blows me away..
I have taken note though in the last several months that the youngest neighbor kids my boys ages are now very rarely out on the streets that late so maybe my bad influence is wearing on them like my boys wearing helmets on bikes and such and riding in car seats..  :Smile: 

Get him one of those too MTD and get him used to it, it will be the best thing you ever did, he'll be safe and can see out Ok, and he isn't bouncing around inside the car distracting you while you're driving, it's fantastic..Though I'm sure someone will argue that point with me..  :Sad: 

After seeing our car seats and talking with me about them a Thai couple we knew had a young daughter and started her in it a little late though not as late as your boy. I know they spent good money on this seat and the next time I saw them just a couple weeks later they tell me they don't use it anymore already because "she doesn't like it" I thought to myself (and maybe a little out loud) "who the hell is the parent and who is the child?"
For me this is not an option, and besides they have absolutely no commitment nor consistency and this epitomizes the problem with many aspects of Thailand, it requires just too much time and effort on their part and therefore is given up even before it has chance to be successful..

----------


## DrivingForce

> I made my world famous mashed potato too.


i hope it was more than just mashed potato's MTD that is starchy so turns into sugar just like he was already used to..

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Getting him to bed at a reasonable time too, and consistently every night with a bath so he can sleep well.


I agree. He goes to bed at about 7.30 at the moment and is awake at sunrise. Hopefully this will continue in the same vein, but at the moment the Midget is with him all evening until he settles in here better.

With regard to a car seat; he's got a motorbike seat. We're too poor to own a car. He hasn't got a helmet yet which I'm annoyed at his folks about, so that's an imminent purchase. He won't like that, but tough shit. The midget doesn't like wearing her helmet either, but that's because we've only got full-face helmets at the moment. We're getting a pair of open face ones soon which will be much easier to use around town, especially when wearing glasses.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> i hope it was more than just mashed potato's MTD that is starchy so turns into sugar just like he was already used to..


He enjoyed the carrots and had a smidgen of pork. For the next few days/weeks, he'll just be eating scraps until he gets used to proper food. I think I should've left out the cracked pepper in the mash.  :Smile:

----------


## DrivingForce

> We're too poor to own a car.


 Not as poor as we are guaranteed.. we don't have car or a scooter, and we still have 2 of them for rental cars and taxis..But only use rental cars which we rent once a month for the major trips and chores such as grocery shopping. I won't take them on a scooter except around the hood for a ride one at a time and in my opinion you should make them get used to the full faced helmets. Just the other day my boy fell over on his bike and I was very glad he had one of those extended helmets as he couldn't get his hands out and in time and landed face first and the helmet kept his face off the ground where he would have planted it big time..You can wear glasses with a full faced helmet I do all the time..

Think about this for a moment, if your midget was on the back of your bike and you had the misfortune of one of these drunks around here turning in front of you and you hit them but not all that hard her face is going to contact the back of your helmet with no protection, not a pretty thought, be safe and prepared.. It's not a stretch to imagine that scenario anywhere let alone here. I've seen it in person and I'll never forget the sight especially knowing it was totally avoidable..  :Sad:

----------


## DrivingForce

> Note to Lily & DTW: I really appreciate both of your viewpoints on the subject of diet. I have made my choice, so please stop bickering about it. Thanks.


Just out of curiosity, who is this directed at ??  :Confused:

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> You can wear glasses with a full faced helmet I do all the time..


I'm sure you have trouble reading sometimes. I *do* wear a full face helmet with glasses on both bikes, but for puttering around town it is a pain in the arse. I am going to buy a DOT standard open face helmet for both of us for the Wave.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Just out of curiosity, who is this directed at ?


Both of you. More reading difficulties I see.

Anyway, the bickering has been binned. You can do that in the lounge or in MKP.

----------


## DrivingForce

> Originally Posted by DrivingForce
> 
> You can wear glasses with a full faced helmet I do all the time..
> 
> 
> I'm sure you have trouble reading sometimes. I *do* wear a full face helmet with glasses on both bikes, but for puttering around town it is a pain in the arse. I am going to buy a DOT standard open face helmet for both of us for the Wave.


It is late you know? Sorry for the minor oversight....Your decision, local traffic is worse than highway though, more accidents happen within 5 miles of your home than anywhere else..  :Sad:  oh well...
Pain in the ass? We're talking about different parts of the body here no wonder it's inconvenient for you?  :Smile:  

Why purchase open faced helmets at all? That is my point, especially if you have a closed one already? I wear closed face around town don't see how it's all that much more a pain in the ass then an open faced especially when I think surgery to TRY to replace my face would be a much bigger pain..  :Sad:

----------


## Ice Maiden

About the potty training, don't force him into this. My little brother is four and it has only been in the past half a year or so that he has been using the toilet. There has always been a potty around and he used it every now and again but he still wears nappies on a night occasionally. 

Don't worry so much about that. When he is ready you will know.

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## peterpan

Wow Look who is back!
Where ya been IM?
As for Marmers parenting, who would have believed it eh? 
Tough boy Marmers getting all warm and gushy over a kid. 
There is only one rule re parenting, just give the kid a swift kick in the arse every opportunity, before they do anything wrong, worked for me and BG, look how well we turned out.

----------


## Ice Maiden

I've been posting on another forum and studying like crazy amongst other things. How are ya?

As for Marmite good on him.

----------


## kingwilly

> Why purchase open faced helmets at all? That is my point, especially if you have a closed one already? I wear closed face around town don't see how it's all that much more a pain in the ass then an open faced especially when I think surgery to TRY to replace my face would be a much bigger pain..


i have to agree with DF here, mate. the open face helmets aint worth shit.

----------


## mrsquirrel

^ get a flip front one.

easy to use and wear

----------


## November Rain

Sorry, Marmers, come to this late, so have only read the first page of posts. I had exactly the same thing to face as you, but littl'un was 2 and a half when he came. Other than that, you could be describing the situation exactly as it was for me and him.

He never ate solid food, only drank formula. He lived in pampers, night and day. He didn't bother to speak much and wasn't used to sleeping alone. He had no set bedtime (they used to leave him up till all hours) and was used to getting what he wanted by screaming.

I stopped the formula immediately and he only got milk in a bottle (full fat cows) at night. Remember that he was a year older than your lad, though. Gradually we weaned him off that, too. All other drinks were in plastic cups or kiddie mugs. He got 3 solid meals a day from day one of living with me and we stopped the pampers in the day, with very few accidents. Again, remember he was a year older, though. We also put him into playgroup for half-days so he could mix with other kids and learn a little.

Bedtimes were the worst. I wouldn't let him sleep with us, so what we used to do was one of us sit with him in his room till he fell asleep and then leave, but leave a light on in his bathroom so if he woke he wouldn't be scared. We got screaming matches for about 3 nights and then he settled down to the routine. We also had a set bedtime for him (still do) and that seemed to help.

I had really strict ideas about what should and shouldn't be done. In some of those, I can now see I was too regimented and other things worked. I read a lot of articles on parenting websites, too (never having been a parent before). It's a learning curve, you'll inevitably learn by trial & error. Good luck.  :Smile: 

BTW, the worst thing IMO was the 'drinking formula rather than eating' to such a late age. Even now, littl'un is a really finicky eater and will happily fill himself up with fluids rather than eat (unless it's crisps or ka-nom, of course!!)

----------


## blackgang

> Why purchase open faced helmets at all? That is my point, especially if you have a closed one already?


I don't know, that seems to be a persoanl choice too, I know I would not wear a full face fucker, I wear one of then Kraut fuckers cause it lightweight, east to see out of and better to hear shit with and keeps the cops off my ass..
If you need to have your head in a bucket, why not stay home and shove your head under the mattress.
Cides that, The little prick asked a question about some shit with a kid, not a set of rules to live his whole life by.
My daughter was raised with a car seat, one that had a handle thing like a bail and she was in that when she went with me the first week  and then graduated to a car seat when she was walking and then to a larger one as she got bigger, I got rid of my 4x4 SR5 Toyota when we left Baja and come to Calif. and I got a MKV Contintental and her seat was in the center of the rear seat and she would climb in the car and right into the seat and even hook her straps.




> worked for me and BG, look how well we turned out.


God damn straight, now ain't we a pair to draw to...

----------


## keda

> Agreed. Sugar is banned!


I haven't got through the thread yet so these comments may be covered later, but good for you to ban sugar early on. Won't be easy, because Thais add excessive sugar to their foodstuffs as a necessity.


It's perfectly normal for a baby to cry, but crying for other than basic needs is a difficult one as it can turn into a battle of wills and heavy baggage for the kid if it's not resolved early. There are many other issues as well as conflicts, as with much of parenting, and no doubt bookshelves are devoted to each, but best we can do in forum mode is to share a few shell thoughts. 

Consider also, aside from attention seeking it may be part frustration at being unable to communicate in ways adults can understand, but the kid will soon learn if crying or a tantrum brings forth whatever it is he wants, and will struggle but eventually learn that it doesn't.

If it's discretionary then stand your ground and not give them whatever it is they're crying for, but at the same time let them know it was the crying that caused you (both) to make that decision. Also important, is to make sure you are both committed to this, because the child will soon learn if he can play one against the other, and that will lead to a hive of problems for you all. Next, treat that as unbending policy, not punishment, but after the storm has subsided and he is more receptive let him know why it is he didn't get the 'thing'. 

18 months? - not easy, but non-verbal comms work well, so try distractions when the crying has kicked off, like a game or singing/dancing, tickling or a cuddle, or tickling leading to other things that include a cuddle, and praise for something else they've done or are doing is never to be underestimated as calming, positive conditioning, and for the realtime issue, a fine diversion.

Another option, when they're a bit older and easier to communicate with, which we do with 3-yr-old Asma who spends a lot of time with us, is to not give her whatever has set her off but leave it in plain view till she stops crying. When she's calmed down we still don't let her have it for 5 (long) minutes - as a reminder that crying is not the solution. Quite often when that time is over her attention is somewhere else and she's completely forgotten about it. On more than one occasion, when she went into tantrum mode for a moment before she realised I was actually bringing her what she wanted, it was too late and from her expression it was clear she realised what she had done which is a good start...I brought it out and left it in view for her 5-min time out, which she accepted. 

Right or wrong we'll never know, but each parent or substitute has to play it their way; there is no instruction manual to cover billions of individuals. Much of the above won't be easy at 18 months and the best you can do will never be perfect, but few things are a doddle when it comes to parenting. Important is to let them know everything is available but they do not have a right to it.

----------


## SnotGoblin

> Consistency is the key to a well behaved and adjusted child, make the rules and do not change them and always stick to them and they will too, but a child will see just how far he can go, so set the boundary's and do not move them.certain penalties must be administered for certain offenses and those to must be strongly adhered to.


Must say sound advice . My wife used to threaten our daughter with all sorts of punishments but never carried them out. My rules were obeyed  as my daughter knew that the penalties would be administered. I never slapped her but i would deprive her of something she treasured for a set period. All rules must be fair. 

Marmite Give you son all the Love that you can muster, that's what kids need !!!!!!!

Good luck and Hugs to you all !! 

I am a little jealous x

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Tough boy Marmers getting all warm and gushy over a kid.


I didn't know I was tough. Cool.

And not gushy, just wanting to do the right thing after failing miserably at my fist attempt of being step-dad.

I see you still haven't worked out how to answer PMs.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Won't be easy, because Thais add excessive sugar to their foodstuffs as a necessity.


Luckily, the Midget doesn't do lots of sugar and with the lad's food will add no sugar at all. She is 100% in agreement with the no sugar rule.




> Marmite Give you son all the Love that you can muster, that's what kids need !


Well, he's not really my son, but I appreciate the sentiment. He's still a bit wary of me after 2 days, but I'm just going to carry on doing what I do and he'll get used to me in time.




> Bedtimes were the worst. I wouldn't let him sleep with us, so what we used to do was one of us sit with him in his room till he fell asleep and then leave, but leave a light on in his bathroom so if he woke he wouldn't be scared. We got screaming matches for about 3 nights and then he settled down to the routine. We also had a set bedtime for him (still do) and that seemed to help.


I have just shown the Midget what a cot is and what the plan for getting him to sleep in his own room is. She looked a bit worried and I know hearing her kid crying and screaming for a few nights will hurt her, but it will be for the best in the long run.

In the OP I mentioned that he cries for milk all through the night. I told the Midget that he cannot have milk any more and she agreed, but instead of not having anything like I assumed, he was being given water in his bottle whenever he cried last night. I think I need to be a little more specific in my instructions, but it's a start, I guess.

----------


## mrsquirrel

> just going to carry on doing what I do and he'll get used to me in time.


that hasn't worked here for us

----------


## Smeg

Fuck me, I'm glad that I didn't have some foreigner stranger discussing the changes he is going to make to my life on an internet forum when I was 18 months old.

----------


## DrAndy

no, you had your mum leaning over the fence asking the neighbours

Who needs them any more?

----------


## Marmite the Dog

Fuck off Smeg. Don't you have a girlfriend to kill?

----------


## Thai Pom

> Fuck me, I'm glad that I didn't have some foreigner stranger discussing the changes he is going to make to my life on an internet forum when I was 18 months old.


It might of helped if you did!!

----------


## good2bhappy

well good luck.
It gets easier with time

----------


## Smeg

I hope the little fucker does the same to Marmite when he is sat dribbling in an old people's home 40 years from now.

----------


## Rural Surin

> Fuck me, I'm glad that I didn't have some foreigner stranger discussing the changes he is going to make to my life on an internet forum when I was 18 months old.


Ain't that the truth. And there all fvcking experts, to the point of extreme arguement. And their standard is the only one...

----------


## Lily

> is sat dribbling


What tense is that?

----------


## Rural Surin

Just thinking here....there goes Marmers life, right pass him. Nonetheless with all the nonsense, you'll be fine. Just do what might come instinctively.....avoid dozens of 'Dr. Spocks'. With Midget there with you, things will be just groovy. Good luck to you two. :Smile:

----------


## blackgang

> I hope the little fucker does the same to Marmite when he is sat dribbling in an old people's home 40 years from now.


No wonder you people are so fucked up if thats what you do to older folks.
My mother was 97 yesterday and she still lives alone in her own home in Calif. and a lady come in and helps her on a daily basis.
I am 75 and my wife works and I do the cooking and some of the house work and shopping, plus making sausages and preserving stuff and posting the results on this board.

----------


## kingwilly

> If it's discretionary then stand your ground and not give them whatever it is they're crying for, but at the same time let them know it was the crying that caused you (both) to make that decision. Also important, is to make sure you are both committed to this, because the child will soon learn if he can play one against the other, and that will lead to a hive of problems for you all. Next, treat that as unbending policy, not punishment, but after the storm has subsided and he is more receptive let him know why it is he didn't get the 'thing'.


really important, united front., means you have to support the mideget sometimes too. (not that i am suggesting you dont)





> Another option, when they're a bit older and easier to communicate with, which we do with 3-yr-old Asma who spends a lot of time with us, is to not give her whatever has set her off but leave it in plain view till she stops crying. When she's calmed down we still don't let her have it for 5 (long) minutes - as a reminder that crying is not the solution. Quite often when that time is over her attention is somewhere else and she's completely forgotten about it. On more than one occasion, when she went into tantrum mode for a moment before she realised I was actually bringing her what she wanted, it was too late and from her expression it was clear she realised what she had done which is a good start...I brought it out and left it in view for her 5-min time out, which she accepted.


We used to use teh stand in a corner trick.... it worked for us. particuarly once he got used to it and if he pulled the stunt when we were out punishment could still apply.




> Right or wrong we'll never know, but each parent or substitute has to play it their way; there is no instruction manual to cover billions of individuals. Much of the above won't be easy at 18 months and the best you can do will never be perfect, but few things are a doddle when it comes to parenting. Important is to let them know everything is available but they do not have a right to it.


quite true.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> I hope the little fucker does the same to Marmite when he is sat dribbling in an old people's home 40 years from now.


Indeed. I hope he tries to do the best for me too.

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## DrivingForce

> If you need to have your head in a bucket, why not stay home and shove your head under the mattress.


Well everything else you said made sense BG until you got to this part..stands out from the rest of your sensible post..and not in a positive way... :Sad: 




> but instead of not having anything like I assumed, he was being given water in his bottle whenever he cried last night.


yes....drinking at night is going to make it real tough for the little guy to avoid wetting himself and later avoid wetting his bed..Totally counter productive..

----------


## Mr Pot

This thread is very informative for me so great thread started Mtd.  I get a bit upset reading this as I only get one day a week with my family due to work commitments.  I think in the last 2 months I haven't had a proper discussion with my wife setting our guidelines and sharing thoughts on how we want our little boy to grow up in the best balanced way possible. This seriously needs to be considered as culturely we have our differences as a couple.

He's one year a week today so time to have a good sit down

I think Tuesday I'll get a babysitter, take the wife out somewhere quiet so we can discuss this.

Working 12 - 14 hours a day is draining when you have family to care about; it's catch 22 though as money, money, money and more money is the ruling factor.

Heres a pic to remind me for Tuesday  :Smile:

----------


## Lily

^But he has his own cot. So something is going right.

What a sweetie. I think he is still teething!

----------


## Mr Pot

^I'm greedy, I want lots of money  :Smile: 

Regarding the cot, he has stopped sleeping in it.  Due to my hours my wife spends a lot of time on her own and gets lonely.  We took away the bed frame and sleep with our matress on the floor because we don't want him to fall off a raised bed as the floor is tiled and hard.

He has is own bedding now next to the matress and if he wakes during the night she'll roll ove rto him and either cuddle or feed him some milk to get him back to sleep.

I'm upset because I know he won't sleep in the cot now without being slightly distressed by the change.  I understand the wife however as my hours of work ensures she's lonely at night.




> What a sweetie. I think he is still teething!


Yep still teething, got his two front teeth and middle bottom at mo

----------


## good2bhappy

one year in a week 
good one Mr Pot
My daughter is 3 on tuesday

----------


## blackgang

> Well everything else you said made sense BG until you got to this part..stands out from the rest of your sensible post..and not in a positive way...


I have riden M/C since 1948 and never wore a helmet except on the track, That is my choice as a free man and I still say the same but do put something on now to keep the grafting assholes from stopping me and trying for their 200 baht which I have never paid and never will.
But to completely cover your head, ears and eyes with something you can neither see thru or hear thru is just to damn stupid for me to even consider, like riding a scoot at night out on the hyway with no tail lights, I want extra RED lights on the rear not green or blue, RED and I want to be seen and to see when my life depends on it.
And don't pull this "OH someday you will be in a wreck" bullshit I have been and if I would have had a helmet strapped on I most likely would have had a broken neck, I am not stupid. and most wrecks with death I have seen a helmet would not have saved em anyway.

If you want to smoke..smoke  If you want to drink and drive, then by all means do so, but I choose not to wear a helmet and it has been cool with me for over 50 years.

----------


## Mr Pot

Is this the right thread BG?

----------


## blackgang

> Is this the right thread BG?


I think so, at least was on topic until Mr. Red Hot Nascar star got in my shit about my choice of a helmet, altho his hero was killed by a broken neck when he bumped into a wall with a 24 KG full face helmet on his head, if dale baby wouldn't have had that fucking heavy thing on  the end of his neck he would most likely be alive today.

----------


## Lily

Yep, he is on the right topic, just a few pages late.


He is a bit long in the tooth though, old Blackgang, so we have to forgive him for being a bit slow, but he does talk some sense about rearing kids

----------


## hillbilly

Congrats MtD! Sounds like another fun-filled adventure.  :Smile: 

I think the key with raising the little ones is to be the boss. You are going to hear some crying and screaming at first, but it will pass.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> You are going to hear some crying and screaming at first, but it will pass.


There's gonna be loads tonight. No fluids until the morning.

I'm sleeping on the sofa.

----------


## blackgang

> I'm sleeping on the sofa.


Ain't you just a little old for all that screaming shit just because you have to sleep on the sofa??

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Ain't you just a little old for all that screaming shit just because you have to sleep on the sofa??


It's my bladdy house and I'll scweam if I want to!!

----------


## dantilley

This link:

Pregnancy, baby and toddler health information at BabyCentre UK

is a great resource for all things baby-related, and they do a monthly newsletter service timed with your baby's age so that you can see what he should / shouldn't be doing at that age, what things it doesn't matter if he's not doing yet, etc. But, as well as that, the site has a wealth of good information.

----------


## blackgang

> It's my bladdy house and I'll scweam if I want to!!


OK, Now whats the difference between Bladdy and Bloody  and Chap and Bloke,
if you folks are going to use such bullshit then we should all be able to understand you when you refuse to speak English.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> OK, Now whats the difference between Bladdy and Bloody and Chap and Bloke,


None, but 'bladdy' has more of an accent.

----------


## DrivingForce

> Originally Posted by Mr Pot
> 
> Is this the right thread BG?
> 
> 
> I think so, at least was on topic until Mr. Red Hot Nascar star got in my shit about my choice of a helmet, altho his hero was killed by a broken neck when he bumped into a wall with a 24 KG full face helmet on his head, if dale baby wouldn't have had that fucking heavy thing on  the end of his neck he would most likely be alive today.


No it's not the thread for it I never expected it to go this direction and you've taken it way too far and you're way too touchy an defensive and taken it out of context....

----------


## blackgang

^well then fuckin forget it

accent sounds the same to me..

----------


## Texpat

burp.

----------


## Rural Surin

> ^well then fuckin forget it
> 
> accent sounds the same to me..


Good sound country sense, BG. Does sound all the same...doesn't it? :Smile:

----------


## Fabian

> Originally Posted by good2bhappy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> ...


That's good of you. I saw how my sister spoilt her daughter.

----------


## Fabian

> Marmite. You have become quite the family man.
> 
> I am,proud if you!!


Me too. What a surprise, but that's what a woman can do to a man.

----------


## MeMock

Hi Marmers.

I noticed you have a lot of replies to this thread but would still like to have a crack at answering your questions. I have decided not to read the thread first so sorry if my answers follow in a similar theme to some other posters, although I doubt it will be all that many!

It is great to see that the Midget is also open to change as that would have been your biggest hurdle otherwise. Before my wife and I had kids she spent a few years in Australia and saw first hand the benefits (not always so) of a different time of child rearing to what she was used to.

I am assuming you are in this for thr long haul otherwise you wouldn't be asking these type of questions. Just remember, Love and patience, love and patience will eventually see you right. Love of course means 'tough love'.




> Hmmm.... where do I start?
> 
> I've just acquired an 18 month old kid who has previously been brought up the Thai way and we need to correct this before it's too late. Therefore, I reckon I've got about 6 months to address this.


6 months to start with sure but raising a child is a life time job.




> There are a few specific areas that are problems in my western eyes.
> 
> 1. He's a victim of the 'I want - I cry - I get' syndrome. 
> 
> This is quite simple to remedy (in theory). He gets told 'no', if it's not appropriate. He's still a bit wary of me, so its working quite well at the moment.


Sounds like you have that sorted. Just remember to reward good behaviour sometimes. 




> 2. The grandparents used to give him milk all through the night whenever he woke up, which seems to be every 30 mins or so. Also, milk seems to have been used as a substitute for food most of the time. The milk they gave us was shitty soya milk with a sugar content of 10%. I have noticed that he is very mucusy and I belive the large quantities of milk are at least partially to blame for this.
> 
> Now he gets a bottle of milk at breakfast and one before bedtime. That's it. Otherwise he eats normal, non-spicy food. Fresh veges and a bit of fish or chicken. The milk he will be given in future is semi-skimmed, normal milk. I also want to get him using those beakers with the little mouthpiece on top rather than a baby's bottle.


I'm impressed! I have an 18 month old as well and that is exactly what she gets. We took away her lunchtime bottle about 5 months ago. I have a niece who sounds like you new boy and it is so sad to watch. She is so full on milk she wont eat anything else.




> 3. In a one roomed house, it is quite natural that the family all sleeps together. We don't live in a one roomed house, so that is going to stop too. Not yet though, as the poor little mite needs to settle in first and get comfortable with his surroundings and more importantly, get used to me.
> 
> I think the way forward with this is to put him to bed with the Midget until he falls asleep, then she can leave him. This will obviously have to wait until he is sleeping properly and not expecting to feed all night.


Tough one, but for your relationship with the Midget it needs to be done and fairly soon. Good luck.




> 4. He can barely speak, which for 18 months is a bit poor.
> 
> The Midget will get some books and start reading to him soon.


Totally normal. Nothing to worry about, however make sure you do read to him though. Get him into books as soon as you can. Read to him every at least every night, more if possible. This will be a great way for you two to bond. My kids love going to bed and one of the reasons is that they get to spend time with their Dad as I read them a book every night.




> 5. He still wears Pampers in the day time.
> 
> I don't mind them at night, but surely he should be training to use a potty about now? We have tiled floors, so the odd accident isn't a problem.


Again, totally normal and nothing to worry about. Around 2 years of age is a good time to start. With all the upheaval in his life at the moment this is the last thing he would need.

Good luck Marmers, just remember he is still a baby basically so be tough but start of slow as he will be in complete shock at the moment at the total change of his life. Kids love and need boundaries so slowly start setting them up. Sounds like you are on the right track at the moment.

----------


## MeMock

> Originally Posted by DrB0b
> 
> I know of one 13 year old girl who still sleeps with her mum every night - that's just weird.
> 
> 
> Going a bit too far! ( although I have heard stories)
> I think at about 5 it is easy to get them to sleep in their own room
> But hey when you were kids and you were frightened at night didn't you creep to your parents room? ( older sibling poss)


My Thai tutor slept with her parents until she left to go to university in Bangkok and was shocked when I told her that our child (wife was pregnant at the time) would sleep in it's own room the first day we got home from hospital. (Which it did.)

Get him moved as soon as you can Marmers.

----------


## MeMock

[QUOTE=DrivingForce;957698]


> He should also be having a snack bottle in the afternoon too..


No he shouldn't. 500ml of milk (2 feeds) a day is enough.

Marmers, is he overweight?

Ideally at 18 months of age he should be sleeping about 11 hours at night time and at least 1 sleep of 2 -3 hours during the day.

----------


## MeMock

> About the potty training, don't force him into this. My little brother is four and it has only been in the past half a year or so that he has been using the toilet. There has always been a potty around and he used it every now and again but he still wears nappies on a night occasionally. 
> 
> Don't worry so much about that. When he is ready you will know.


I think that is way to old, and you can 'force' your child into toilet training.

I trained my eldest when she turned two to do it. It took me five days. Hard work but the rewards are great.

----------


## mrsquirrel

> I think that is way to old, and you can 'force' your child into toilet training.  I trained my eldest when she turned two to do it. It took me five days. Hard work but the rewards are great.


MeMock how dare you question somebody with no experience of having kids. :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Rural Surin

> Originally Posted by MeMock
> 
> I think that is way to old, and you can 'force' your child into toilet training. I trained my eldest when she turned two to do it. It took me five days. Hard work but the rewards are great.
> 
> 
> MeMock how dare you question somebody with no experience of having kids.


Starting to read like a _Dr. Phil_ thread. Psycho-babble wanted.

----------


## reinvented

hey marmers pretty much agree wwith the above

a few points though
the speaking and the pamapers sound about right, my tykes not quite 18 months but we try to keep her out of pamapers as much as we can. not too messy so far.

the sleeping with mum is more difficult as you have to train mum as well. my missus is well sneaky on this but you may have to be firm with both of them.

milk i agree with me mock, but its more of a supplement and he may be in the habit of dropping off after milk which is no bad thing.

me want me cry, at 18 months he's  only just learned to express himself so it will take him a while to get the niceties etc. be patient but be firm.

as all will say its a big change, not a bad one though. no harm done ayt 18 months just remember its a full time job to limit the stupid imput from now on, even the missus will want to do stupid shit, but at the end of the day thats how they were raised and its not all bad eh?

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Marmers, is he overweight?  Ideally at 18 months of age he should be sleeping about 11 hours at night time and at least 1 sleep of 2 -3 hours during the day.


I think he's a good, healthy size. He is a luk-kreung, so he is bigger than a common-or-garden Thai kid.

His sleeping pattern seems established already, which is good.

7.30 bed. From about 2am till 6am he is waking up wanting milk (which he is now not getting), but goes back to sleep easily enough.

He wakes up at dawn then has breakfast, mucks around for a few hours before napping between 10am and midday.

Strangely, my sleeping pattern is 2am to 6am I sleep fitfully on the sofa then 6am to 10am I am allowed a brief 4 hour stint in bed.  :Smile:

----------


## Nawty

You sleep until 10 am...what kind of bad habits is that teaching a kid.

Hall your arse out and do something.

What happened to the real farang pop....

----------


## Lily

> Originally Posted by Lily He should also be having a snack bottle in the afternoon too..


Misquoted me there MeMock.

I think Driving Force said that. I certainly would not have.

----------


## MeMock

Sorry Lily, yes it was Driving Force.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

He likes to whine/cry when he wakes up and when he wants something. It gets on your tits a bit, but the Midget deals with everything at the moment as he is still a bit wary of me.

He also slept in the spare room last night, which was good, except he'll sleep like a log until 11.30 and then wake up every hour and a half and grizzle whilst trying to find his mum. She gets up and puts him back to bed and I get fek all sleep. I should sleep well tonight though as I'm knackered.

The positives are that the midget is happy and it is nice to hear him laugh on the few occasions he's not whining. He likes cereal for breakfast too.

----------


## Rural Surin

sounds as if you're actually enjoying the situation.

----------


## kingwilly

> I think he's a good, healthy size. He is a luk-kreung,


oh.

I assumed he must have been thai. 

Why is the real father not around then?

cancel that, we dont need to know.

just a surprise, that's all.

----------


## Nawty

^Yeah we do !

I asked before, but conveniently ignored.

You know we are all thinking it....so fuck it.....where is the real Pop and how come you jumped in so quick.

There...sheepish plicks.

----------


## Travelmate

Poor little thing having to carry on with out the biological father.
Who and where is the real father now?

----------


## blackgang

> just a surprise, that's all.


Quite a few things are a surprise to this guy,
Fucking a queer for 3 yers and didn't even know it was not a woman,, give me a fucking break..

----------


## Rural Surin

> ^Yeah we do !
> 
> I asked before, but conveniently ignored.
> 
> You know we are all thinking it....so fuck it.....where is the real Pop and how come you jumped in so quick.
> 
> There...sheepish plicks.


These questions do need to be answered Marms. Cleanse your soul. :Smile:

----------


## Rural Surin

> Originally Posted by kingwilly
> 
> just a surprise, that's all.
> 
> 
> Quite a few things are a surprise to this guy,
> Fucking a queer for 3 yers and didn't even know it was not a woman,, give me a fucking break..


 :rofl:

----------


## Nawty

> Originally Posted by kingwilly
> 
> just a surprise, that's all.
> 
> 
> Quite a few things are a surprise to this guy,
> Fucking a queer for 3 yers and didn't even know it was not a woman,, give me a fucking break..



Next she will adopt a baby and claim its his.....

he may say...'it ain't mine, you never had an orgasm with me'.....but he will end up sending monthly child support cheques.

That is if current gf will allow him to go to the post office alone.

----------


## Travelmate

> he may say...'it ain't mine, you never had an orgasm with me'.....but he will end up sending monthly child support cheques.


Is KW that gullible?

----------


## kingwilly

> but he will end up sending monthly child support cheques.


funny you should mention that....

BTW - sorry for the thread hijack, i assume this will get moved soonish

----------


## Lily

> I think that is way to old, and you can 'force' your child into toilet training. I trained my eldest when she turned two to do it. It took me five days. Hard work but the rewards are great.


Girls are much easier than boys MeMock




> Who and where is the real father now?


The 'real' father is the one who rears him and is there for him through his formative years.

----------


## mrsquirrel

> formative years.


Do Thai kids have formative years?

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Why is the real father not around then?





> where is the real Pop and how come you jumped in so quick.





> Who and where is the real father now?


Fek off you nosey kunts.

----------


## Nawty

Is he black ?

----------


## Spin

> Do Thai kids have formative years?


Yes, up until they are about 24. Many Thais themselves have admitted to me that they considered a person under 23 to be at the development level of "children".

----------


## reinvented

> Quote: Originally Posted by kingwilly Why is the real father not around then? Quote: Originally Posted by Nawty where is the real Pop and how come you jumped in so quick. Quote: Originally Posted by Travelmate Who and where is the real father now? Fek off you nosey kunts.


not a member is it

your birds name isnt sandra is it?
i mean we know it cant be willy's ex

----------


## Fabian

'er indoors said I could give you advise, Marmite, as I have been a step-father before. Actually I can't because the boys conveniently already were a bit older than yours. It seems you handle it alright anyway.

That was fast, from single to a family with kid. All the best wishes. (The wife said that too.)

----------


## blackgang

> Fek off you nosey kunts.


You got that shit right Marmers,, none of their fucking business.

----------


## Nawty

If it is none of our business....then don't make it public knowledge and ask questions related to it here......we are now obliged to know ALL the dirt....dirty or not.

----------


## Nawty

Also like to point out that when a child at 1 and a half years old has sleeping habits like that, it is 99% of the time a good indication that it will continue until around 15yo.

----------


## aging one

I think I will give you a call Marmers, after I stop laughing. :Smile:

----------


## Rural Surin

> If it is none of our business....then don't make it public knowledge and ask questions related to it here......we are now obliged to know ALL the dirt....dirty or not.


spot on

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> I have been a step-father before


Me too.




> .we are now obliged to know ALL the dirt


Twat.




> spot on


Bigger twat.

----------


## hillbilly

^Spot on!  :Smile:

----------


## MeMock

> Also like to point out that when a child at 1 and a half years old has sleeping habits like that, it is 99% of the time a good indication that it will continue until around 15yo.


Absolute twaddle.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Bullshit....he wants all the answers without sharing the relevant background details that we all need to know to help make an informed and informative decision.  He did not answer the 'black' question, so I guess the kid has an afro.


Bullshit. Where the father comes from has no bearing on how to raise the child, and you're still a twat.

----------


## Nawty

Of course it does...stop scouting around a very relevant and important issue.

Just cos you choose to ignore it, does not mean it will go away.

How are you going to teach the kid about Bob Marley.....or rythum.....or basketball....or why his penis is already longer than yours ?

----------


## Nawty

So how is the little black fella goin ??

----------


## Rural Surin

^ I believe the little rice muncher is doing quite OK from what I've been hearing. The expected settling in and adjustments have past. Sabai Sabai....

----------


## Travelmate

Any pictures?

----------


## blackgang

Now it seems as if that NAWTY cocksucker is about the most racist bastard on this board.
Just remember what he is saying and next time he hollers RACIST do not forget to remind him.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Any pictures?


Yes, thank you.

----------


## Travelmate

> Originally Posted by Travelmate
> 
> Any pictures?
> 
> 
> Yes, thank you.


okey dokey.  :Smile:

----------


## random thoughts

the trick really is not try to build rome in a day,he is surrounded by thai culture and is thai so you can only change small details on the cultural level,best if you work on being someone he wants to emulate-become his rolemodel if you will.On the mum sleeping with him my daughter and her mum slept together but fairly quickly i prevailed in convincing mum to settle our daughter to sleep then leave her sleeping-when she awoke during the night she would again lay down with her and so they both gradually became used to the process, this took about 1-2 years as i found it was not really the child that needed the contact but the mother ! - thai cultural practice seems to dictate close bonding between mother and child and i found that my wife decided that my ideas were really just barbaric falang madness ! - if my experience can be depended upon the real battle ground will be your wifes familys influence-if you keep the lad with during your day to day activities he will become your shadow,your greatest fan and will want to do what you suggest because he wants to ! PS: nappies nighttime till 4-5 years normal and daytime till 2-3 years, depending on their development(given his unsettled recent past he will be likley to cling to familiar people and routines-so he will probably see nappies as important for now.) Also full cream milk would beautifully compliment any shortfalls in his dietary intake and the calcium is critically important to his bodies development-any how goodluck ! (not with the child,he is the easy part-its the mum and thai family that will really test you !)

----------


## Marmite the Dog

^ Thank you for your thoughts.

----------


## reinvented

^^
some good points there mate

----------


## Travelmate

Don't mean to hijack yer thread. Just want to ask before I make or acquire a child. 
What is the costs of raising a child?

----------


## reinvented

> What is the costs of raising a child?


grey hair
sleepless nights
premature baldness
less time at the wicket
cant swear freely
having yer hang over disturbed etc.

----------


## Rural Surin

> Don't mean to hijack yer thread. Just want to ask before I make or acquire a child. 
> What is the costs of raising a child?


Depends how one chooses to live...

----------


## Nawty

If you have to ask....you don't deserve one !!!!  :rofl:

----------


## Takeovers

> Originally Posted by Travelmate
> 
> What is the costs of raising a child?
> 
> 
> grey hair
> sleepless nights
> premature baldness
> less time at the wicket
> ...


True, all of the above,  plus the feeling that it is worth it ten times over. Thats what I and countless other parents have experienced.

That may be rationalizing but it works very well.  :Smile:

----------


## reinvented

> True, all of the above, plus the feeling that it is worth it ten times over. Thats what I and countless other parents have experienced. That may be rationalizing but it works very well.


totally mate
but thats not a cost
the pleasure and pride is definitley in the profit column :Smile:

----------


## blackgang

> I would wean him off milk, and powdered milk is so processed as to be harmful in ways we may not even know about aside from possible contaminants .. Natural is best.. Lots of veggies green leafy ones particualrly have all the calcium he needs without the fat .


I was listening to what you had to say, but then you came up with that Vegan shit and you left my verbal intercourse group and walked out into the silent zone.



But before you go, could you tell me why milk in not natural?

----------


## Rural Surin

> Originally Posted by ChristySweet
> 
> I would wean him off milk, and powdered milk is so processed as to be harmful in ways we may not even know about aside from possible contaminants .. Natural is best.. Lots of veggies green leafy ones particualrly have all the calcium he needs without the fat .
> 
> 
> I was listening to what you had to say, but then you came up with that Vegan shit and you left my verbal intercourse group and walked out into the silent zone.
> 
> 
> 
> But before you go, could you tell me why milk in not natural?


Perhaps she is refering to Mother's {human} milk, less bovine hormoned enriched milk.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

Well, we've had the little monkey for about a month now, so I'll give an update to anyone who's interested.




> 1. He's a victim of the 'I want - I cry - I get' syndrome.


He still gets a bit teary, but immediately stops when I'm near him. It seems he wants to show me how 'tough' he is, which is bloody weird, but it works.




> 2. The grandparents used to give him milk all through the night whenever he woke up, which seems to be every 30 mins or so. Also, milk seems to have been used as a substitute for food most of the time. The milk they gave us was shitty soya milk with a sugar content of 10%. I have noticed that he is very mucusy and I believe the large quantities of milk are at least partially to blame for this.


He only has one carton (225ml) of milk a day now. Sometimes with Ovaltine, sometimes it's choccy milk. He isn't at all mucusy now and is eating 90% of what we eat. He sits on the rug with us and sorts himself out (makes a fucking mess though  :Smile:  ).




> 3. In a one roomed house, it is quite natural that the family all sleeps together. We don't live in a one roomed house, so that is going to stop too. Not yet though, as the poor little mite needs to settle in first and get comfortable with his surroundings and more importantly, get used to me.


He has been sleeping in his own room since about 2 days after I started this thread. He sometimes wakes up once in the night; if he wants water, I'll give him some. If he's just being grizzly, a gentle 'bpai non, ja' sends him back to bed without me even having to get up. If Mum does it, we have a right old song & dance with trying to get him to sleep (so she doesn't any more).




> 4. He can barely speak, which for 18 months is a bit poor.


He's hugely more vocal now. He still speaks Swahili or something, but he talks to us a lot (and vice-versa), which is very encouraging. The Midget bought a simple alphabet puzzle the other day. She's doing quite well with it...




> 5. He still wears Pampers in the day time.


We tried letting him go commando, but he pissed everywhere. He watches me in the shower and when taking a leak sometimes and we have bought him a potty. He doesn't like the potty yet, but it is there in the bathroom and I'm sure he'll start to copy me soon and use it occasionally.

Overall, I'm really impressed with the way he has adapted to living in a civilised household and more so with the way he has started to bond with me. We went out to the local shop on the Wave yesterday, which would've resulted in gallons of tears a few weeks ago, but he was fine and wandered around the shop showing me all the bargains to be had, but without touching anything.

Very proud of the wee lad.

----------


## Travelmate

Well done.
When you going to make your own kid?

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> When you going to make your own kid?


I'm not. There's enough kids around without me being a selfish kunt and bringing in any more.

----------


## Travelmate

Continue the family tree perhaps? MTD lives on, and all that..

----------


## Fabian

> ...is eating 90% of what we eat. He sits on the rug with us and sorts himself out (


Contradicts somehow with the civilized household claim:



> Overall, I'm really impressed with the way he has adapted to living in a civilised household and more so with the way he has started to bond with me.


Good to see though that everything seems to head for the better with him.

----------


## Spin

> Very proud of the wee lad.


Sounds like you're doing a sterling job. Well done.

----------


## Lily

> Overall, I'm really impressed with the way he has adapted to living in a civilised household and more so with the way he has started to bond with me. We went out to the local shop on the Wave yesterday, which would've resulted in gallons of tears a few weeks ago, but he was fine and wandered around the shop showing me all the bargains to be had, but without touching anything. Very proud of the wee lad.


Of course he will bond with you. He is just a baby and you are now his father figure. All little boys need that, desperately. Everyone, especially fatherless babies need someone that they can look up to and depend on. And a big strong, tall, kind man, would be the best he could get. 




> Contradicts somehow with the civilized household claim:


Get a table and chairs Marmite, if you want him to be really civilised. He will still make a mess though; they aren't born with good table manners.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> kind man, would be the best he could get


Bugger!





> Get a table and chairs Marmite, if you want him to be really civilised.


I have, but the table is too big for him and besides, it's now my computer desk.

----------


## Lily

Okay. I will take back the kind man, taking the kitchen table for your own use, but seriously, to get a kid when he is still a baby is quite different than taking on a child who has known their own father and has lived with their mother, giving that child all their attention for years.

You will grow to love him and think of him as your own. Lots of people father children, but that is not what makes a parent.

----------


## Travelmate

Perhaps we need to teach the father how to eat at the table first. :Smile:

----------


## Marmite the Dog

Cheer Lil.

I like this kid. He just spilt a bit of water on the floor (he drinks from a proper cup, you see). Mum gives him a cloth and he clears it up. 

Just got to train him up to do the dishes and laundry and we're sorted.  :Smile:

----------


## Lily

^Good luck with that.

I never managed to get mine to, but anything is possible.

----------


## Travelmate

> Just got to train him up to do the dishes and laundry and we're sorted.


Marmers you got it wrong. It the women that are suppose to do these kinds of jobs in the house. Boys get to go out and learn to hunt and fix things.  :Smile: 
When I have my own laddie. He will be trained to be one of the best rugby forward known to man. :Smile:

----------


## hillbilly

Keep doing what your doing Marmers.  :Smile:

----------


## Nawty

Geeez....so my post gets deleted....can't handle some reality huh....whimps.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Geeez....so my post gets deleted....can't handle some reality huh....whimps.


Not by me.

I leave your posts alone so all can see what a prize wanker you are.

----------


## Nawty

Not very nice to call me a wanker....I have feelings also you know.

----------


## Rural Surin

> Not very nice to call me a wanker....I have feelings also you know.


By the way, how long you going to stay in that box? Must get awfully cramped, yes? :Wink:

----------


## aging one

get him a high chair asap marmers. You sure as hell dont want to be chasing him down the street with a bowl of food.  Nice job you are doing mate.

----------


## Nawty

I like me box.....it helps with the diet.

Did you know that certain animals do not grow any larger than the immediate environment they are in.....fish for example...

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> You sure as hell dont want to be chasing him down the street with a bowl of food.


Don't need to chase him. We tell him to sit down and eat and he does.

----------


## Nawty

See, knew I got the pedigree correct..

----------


## Marmite the Dog

I fell I have reached the pinnacle of parenting now. There is nothing he enjoys more than sitting on my lap watching a Metallica video.

Sorted.

----------


## Nawty

Black and white or colour ?

----------


## peterpan

> I fell I have reached the pinnacle of parenting now. There is nothing he enjoys more than sitting on my lap watching a Metallica video.
> 
> Sorted.


he's lucky, because at school he will be able to say with conviction "my Dads bigger than your dad" and know its gonna be true.

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## jim1176

> I've just acquired an 18 month old kid who has previously been brought up the Thai way and we need to correct this before it's too late. Therefore, I reckon I've got about 6 months to address this.


What is your thinking in general about this additional responsibility, sounds crazy. Why in the world would you take this on. I put the chances of you even knowing this kid in 10 years at 1 in 10,000

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## Loy Toy

> What is your thinking in general about this additional responsibility, sounds crazy


Maybe he loves the mother of this child and is willing to take her on with the extra baggage. Good on him I say and I did exactly the same and with absolutely no regrets.




> I put the chances of you even knowing this kid in 10 years at 1 in 10,000


Well that will be up to him to decide I reckon and based upon the last 6 months I reckon there is a great chance they will be kicking a Rugby ball around in 10 years.

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## Rural Surin

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> I've just acquired an 18 month old kid who has previously been brought up the Thai way and we need to correct this before it's too late. Therefore, I reckon I've got about 6 months to address this.
> 
> 
> What is your thinking in general about this additional responsibility, sounds crazy. Why in the world would you take this on. I put the chances of you even knowing this kid in 10 years at 1 in 10,000


How might have you come to this conclusion?

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## jim1176

> Maybe he loves the mother of this child and is willing to take her on with the extra baggage. Good on him I say and I did exactly the same and with absolutely no regrets.


The comment of a total baffoon. Adds nothing to the discussion as you have no personal knowledge of a single detail. Baffoon.

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## Loy Toy

Think what you like Jim as it seems you can't hold a discussion!

And no personal insults coming from me and for what that is worth.

Jim posts: Adds nothing to the discussion as you have no personal knowledge of a single detail.

In fact I know Marmite and the Midget personally from almost the first day they met!  :mid:

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## Nawty

Jimmy is just a sterile and angry man.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Why in the world would you take this on.


Well, if I raise him he won't grow up to be a dumb-fuk seppo like you. Seems a good enough reason to me.

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## Fabian

^ And he is going to have a good taste in music too.

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## MeMock

> I fell I have reached the pinnacle of parenting now. There is nothing he enjoys more than sitting on my lap watching a Metallica video.
> 
> Sorted.


You should be up on child abuse charges.

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## jim1176

> Originally Posted by jim1176
> 
> Why in the world would you take this on.
> 
> 
> Well, if I raise him he won't grow up to be a dumb-fuk seppo like you. Seems a good enough reason to me.


LOL. Well you are half right.

There is really nothing unreasonable about my original post. The basic issue is what makes you different than the typical outcome in these situations and why bet your future against the odds. It is obvious you are not equipped to consider this issue which is why you are in this situation in the first place.

People just do not like to consider other outcomes than what they are hoping for even when those outcomes are very likely or even, as in this case, a virtual certainty.

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## somtamslap

> What is your thinking in general about this additional responsibility, sounds crazy. Why in the world would you take this on. I put the chances of you even knowing this kid in 10 years at 1 in 10,000


 Jim, you've obviously had a rough ride along the way, same as many people. No need to generalise like that though, matey. Your glass is definetly half empty..

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## DaffyDuck

> The main thing seems to be the sleeping with Mum syndrome. I really understand what you're saying B0b, but you also have to remember that he's not my blood, so there isn't a bond yet (hell I've only known him for 24 hours). But, I really am insistent that he sleeps in his own room (eventually).


Easiest way to do this, is to set up his own bed in your bedroom, and get him used to sleeping in 'his' space. Once familiar with it, he'll like it and prefer it. 

If you insist on a separate room for him, make sure the room is right next to your bedroom, with a direct connecting door -- but in a realistic scenario, don't hope to dump him in his own room until he's a full 2-3 years old. At 18 months,it's certainly a good idea to keep him closests to his parents, especially considering his prior environment.

Good luck with it -- you've got the right ideas!

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## Marmite the Dog

^ Cheers Daffy, but this is old now.

He happily sleeps in his own room and has done so from about the 3rd day with us (nearly 4 months ago).

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## blackgang

Well I am glad you got that sorted, But I know he didn't sleep with you the night you spent at my house, but that was a couple months ago. :smiley laughing:

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## Frankenstein

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> I've just acquired an 18 month old kid who has previously been brought up the Thai way and we need to correct this before it's too late. Therefore, I reckon I've got about 6 months to address this.
> 
> 
> What is your thinking in general about this additional responsibility, sounds crazy. Why in the world would you take this on. I put the chances of you even knowing this kid in 10 years at 1 in 10,000


I think it sounds like he's done a great job with the kid and enjoying the process as well. 

Unless you know a lot of details we don't about the situation, you can pull odds out of your ass all day, but they will remain completely unrelated to what actually comes to pass.

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## Nawty

Parenting skills from Daffney......what next ?? Bargaining skills for Pattaya hoes perhaps....

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## Nawty

Show this pic to the kid and see if it brings back any repressed memories ....




When does the pinnacled parent think it is the right time to introduce Bob Marley and some Afro beats to the child ??

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## MeMock

When they are about 25.

Country music on the other hand can be introduced at any age.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Show this pic to the kid and see if it brings back any repressed memories ....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When does the pinnacled parent think it is the right time to introduce Bob Marley and some Afro beats to the child ??


At least he doesn't look like he was fathered by ET.

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## Spin

Come on now, we've suffered enough. Any chance you can change this dreadfull image for one that shows some attractive females?

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## Frankenstein

> When does the pinnacled parent think it is the right time to introduce Bob Marley and some Afro beats to the child ??


A recent study suggests around 3 months is a good time for Marley.

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## Lily

What a lot of wankers you are! This thread is about a child who deserves the same upbringing that you all had. Come on.................it is a child.

And Marmite... why are you posting photos of little girls hugging Jack Russell terriers, when the child you are supposed to be raring is a boy?

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## Fabian

> And Marmite... why are you posting photos of little girls hugging Jack Russell terriers, when the child you are supposed to be raring is a boy?


I thought as well he looks a bit girlish.

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## Marmite the Dog

> And Marmite... why are you posting photos of little girls hugging Jack Russell terriers, when the child you are supposed to be raring is a boy?


Because I'm glad my lad doesn't look like an alien.

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## Dean

You know, it takes about an hour to read this topic from page 1-12.  I only read the threads on the home page and the "construction" thread, so I didn't know about your recent blessings, with a wife and 20 month old son.  Congratulations  on both.   My son is now with my wife at our house in C.M. but will be back in America in four weeks.  I know that I'd miss him but its also important for him to see hi thai grandparents and cousins.  Here, he has a lot of cousins but they are 40-25 years older than him.  I do plan on returning to Thailand in 10 years and have my son live there for at least 6 years and decide on his own where he wants to live but he has dual citizenship, so he has full rights in both countries.  Without going into detail, is your son a citizen of his biological father's country?  If it's different than British, which I assume he will eventually have, why not have your son get 3 different passports/citizenships?   It certainly wouldn't hurt his prospects down the line.  Congratulations again.  It certainly was a slap in the face to a 55 year old man (me) but I wouldn't change it for the world.

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## Norton

> A recent study suggests around 3 months is a good time for Marley.


Appropriate mixture of herbs in the milk formula strongly recommended for full appreciation.

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## Fabian

> Without going into detail, is your son a citizen of his biological father's country? If it's different than British, which I assume he will eventually have, why not have your son get 3 different passports/citizenships? It certainly wouldn't hurt his prospects down the line.


Why and how would he get british citizenship?

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## Frankenstein

Why? Well, by having British citizenship he will probably have an easier time getting into and working in Commonwealth countries, for example getting a work visa to Australia... etc.

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## Dean

I have no idea if MD will adopt the child but, at least in America, it is fairly easy to get citizenship for an adopted foreign child under 18 years of age.

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## blackgang

What if there are no Americans in the household??

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## DaffyDuck

> ^ Cheers Daffy, but this is old now.
> 
> He happily sleeps in his own room and has done so from about the 3rd day with us (nearly 4 months ago).


Glad to know it all worked out fine and for the best!

Cheers!

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## Marmite the Dog

> What if there are no Americans in the household??


I'm sure I could find one. I'd have to gag the fucker first though.  :Smile:

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## Norton

From America with love!

 :kma:

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## blackgang

Yea, some here alright, but not in a position to get your kid an American passport.
I guess I could adopt both of ya,, wonder if you are to old Marmers.

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## Rural Surin

> Parenting skills from Daffney......what next ?? Bargaining skills for Pattaya hoes perhaps....


Not just parenting skills but 'Thainess' expertise....

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## Rural Surin

> What a lot of wankers you are! This thread is about a child who deserves the same upbringing that you all had.


You're suggesting that we were all brought up in a similiar manner? Even more dangerous to consider that there might be such a exemplar standard. Every situation is different from the next.

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## blackgang

I think the kid should be brought up in America, and he is about the right age to be having his first gun about now.
Nothing large you know, maybe a 410 ga shotgun and a 22 revolver and a pocket knife for a couple of years, I see he got his own dog already.

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## Marmite the Dog

^ That ain't my kid, BG. That's ET's.

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## DaffyDuck

> Originally Posted by Nawty
> 
> 
> Parenting skills from Daffney......what next ?? Bargaining skills for Pattaya hoes perhaps....
> 
> 
> Not just parenting skills but 'Thainess' expertise....


Odd - haven't seen any constructive contribution from either of you... Oh right! Never mind.

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## blackgang

> Originally Posted by Nawty
> 
> 
> Show this pic to the kid and see if it brings back any repressed memories ....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When does the pinnacled parent think it is the right time to introduce Bob Marley and some Afro beats to the child ??
> ...


So this is ET kid, shit I thought it was yours,,where is your kids pic?

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## KID

My filipino wife refused to quit giving her son milk and juice in the middle of the night despite my repeated request's--- poor kid lost 4 of his upper teeth to the dentist at the age of 3 coz the milk and juice ate the enamel off his teeth !!!

qouting the exwife--- but he is filipino not american--- well now he is a toothless little filipino

my daughter was compleatly potty trained at 18 months--- her son at the age of 5 was still wearing diapers at night !!!!

I could tell herthings but untill another filipino told her the exact same thing she would never listen

thank god i got my daughter in the divorce !!!!!!

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## Marmite the Dog

> where is your kids pic?


I'm not stupid enough to post it on the net.

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## DaffyDuck

> Originally Posted by blackgang
> 
> where is your kids pic?
> 
> 
> I'm not stupid enough to post it on the net.


Smart move - leave that to Nawty, he's done plenty of that.

----------


## blackgang

I use mine for my AV. sometimes.

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## Norton

> I use mine for my AV. sometimes.


That was your kid with the tattoos sitting outside the trailer? :Smile:

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## Begbie

> I use mine for my AV.


You're a literate penguin !

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## Norton

> I'm not stupid enough to post it on the net.


Put him in the bathtub and pixelate his face.  Should be OK.

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## TizMe

> I use mine for my AV. sometimes.


The Black women with the huge arse?

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## Looper

> poor kid lost 4 of his upper teeth to the dentist *at the age of 3*


I don't know anything about kids but I think those baby teeth grow back. In fact I think the tooth fairy owes him about 200 baht (plus interest) for them.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> I'm not stupid enough to post it on the net.
> 
> 
> Put him in the bathtub and pixelate his face.  Should be OK.


Ain't got a bathtub here.

----------


## Rural Surin

> Originally Posted by KID
> 
> poor kid lost 4 of his upper teeth to the dentist *at the age of 3*
> 
> 
> I don't know anything about kids but I think those baby teeth grow back. In fact I think the tooth fairy owes him about 200 baht (plus interest) for them.


Only Bht200 for the whole set? A bit stingy for the Tooth Fairy.

----------


## Looper

^If you think global economic recessions don't affect tooth fairies then you are living in a fantasy world mate.

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## Nawty

I understand not wanting to post a pic of a black kid and face all the questions to come.....must get enough of that just going to the 7/11 for some watermelon and corn cobs.

----------


## Nawty

Oh and by the way....ET has endeared himself to millions with his sweet and lovable looks and character......cheers.

----------


## Nawty

> Not just parenting skills but 'Thainess' expertise....


Yes, it is nice to have a sex tourist around that is an expert on all things.....it is simply amazing what you can learn from a pattaya slapper during pillow talk for 1500b a night....and some jewels the next day.

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## November Rain

> My filipino wife refused to quit giving her son milk and juice in the middle of the night despite my repeated request's--- poor kid lost 4 of his upper teeth to the dentist at the age of 3 coz the milk and juice ate the enamel off his teeth !!!


Happened to my littl'un too (before he came to me). Result rotting front teeth at the top by two years old, pulled out at 3 years old. Obviously, his big teeth have now grown in the gap and they are kept nice & white by lots of attention to dental hygiene!!!

----------


## Nawty

Picking on my kids big brown round and beautiful eyes has cut me to the bone.....why not pick on her lily white skin, her twisted toe, her natural brown hair or her speach impeade....impedin...impedone....problem while you at it ...

----------


## Loy Toy

> Picking on my kids big brown round and beautiful eyes has cut me to the bone


Your little girls eyes are amazing mate and she is gunna be a stunner when she grows up mate.

The only problem you have mate is fighting off all the blokes who come knocking and the purchase of one of those big fvck-off Jed Clampett shot guns is on the cards!

----------


## Nawty

> The only problem you have mate is fighting off all the blokes who come knocking and the purchase of one of those big fvck-off Jed Clampett shot guns is on the cards!


She is a bit of a tomboy, so I hoping she might be a lesbian.

Keep those black kids from up north away also...

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## Rural Surin

> I understand not wanting to post a pic of a black kid and face all the questions to come.....must get enough of that just going to the 7/11 for some watermelon and corn cobs.


....perhaps a *KFC* would work adequately.

----------


## jonmlb748

my 5 year old stepdaughter always slept  with the grand parents in thailand.when we got her visa for europe,she wanted to sleep with mum,fair enough.we made her a nice girly  bedroom and said it´s your room if you want it ,within weeks she moved in of her own accord.three years on and there is a no entry .private. sign on the door!

----------

