#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Farming & Gardening In Thailand >  >  > Thailands Zoos and Animals >  >  Korat Zoo: A Hyena Tale

## somtamslap

The zoo is located about 25 kilometres outside of Korat city heading towards Pak Thong Chai.

Entrance fee, 70 baht for Thai nationals, 90 baht for foreigners and 10 baht for children. Not too terrible as far as racial discrimination goes, I've definitely experienced worse. Take Khao Yai National Park, for example - at one point those daylight theives were operating on a 20/400 basis unless you had a work permit handy to spank them on the head with.

The zoo covers an impressive area, I'd estimate three hundred plus rai, so we hired one of these golf buggies to get around the place and because they weighed in at a sexually expletive inducing 300 baht per hour, I felt it prudent to tackle the zoo at speed.



The first thing I noticed about the place was the dire signage system. Instead of eye-catching advertisements likeTIGERS HERE, we were subjected to a series of pathetic, half-baked boards with scrawl such as 'there's a fucking crocodile around here somewhere' written on them. 

Alas, I continued to manoever the buggy at pace and eventually we found some hippos:

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## Bettyboo

I hope this thread gets better...

...although Mr Slap's new literary device of changing font size is pretty impressive...  :Smile:

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## somtamslap

Just building it up for the mind-blowing finale.




> I hope this thread gets better...

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## Bettyboo

I can't even see that Hippo's tail...

I've canceled my evening out, and am now eagerly awaiting the rest of the story; I'll just make a cup of tea and open some of my Xmas biscuits and luxury fruit cake - back in 5.

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## somtamslap

Because the signs were so horrendously shite, I had to use my Safari guide instincts which I keep stored in a little cache along with my Nomad Siberian Cattle Herder instincts and managed to zone in on our next animal.

This giraffe, for want of a better word, was a complete cnut. For fifteen baht, one can feed the giraffes bunches of long green beans, but this fellow here wasn't allowing the rest of his herd a look in, he literally trampled over one of his off-spring to get to them. So whilst I lured him in with two of the beans, I covertly bunched the rest up in my fist and launched them into the middle of the pen for his mates to enjoy.

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## somtamslap

^ You can see him eyeing up the two beans in that shot, totally unaware of the balled feast in my right hand..

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## somtamslap

> I'll just make a cup of tea


 Forget that shit, Betsy. This is worthy of the single malt..

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## Bettyboo

^  :Smile:  the christmas whisky?




> You can see him eyeing up the two beans in that shot, totally unaware of the balled feast in my right hand..


You think that fuking huge nose can't smell it out...

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## somtamslap

> the christmas whisky?


 It might be in good form to pop some Aled Jones on the headphones.

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## jizzybloke

300baht an hour, It was only 500b for the day!

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## Bettyboo

^ I did wonder about the 300 baht/hour, presumed he was taking literary license, again...

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## somtamslap

Next on the list was this tapir. Not only did it respond to my feigned mating call, a skill I had previously learnt on an expedition to Borneo which featured underwear fashioned from bramble bushes, by getting up from its pit, but it also...wait for it....took several conservative sips of water from the supplied source. Fucking RESULT!!

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## somtamslap

> 300baht an hour, It was only 500b for the day!


 Well, that's gone up massively then. 300 for the hour or 500 for 2. Theiving twats.

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## Chairman Mao

That's one unhappy looking giraffe.


Still, a life of being abused by the Thai staff, until you eventually die and they eat you, can't be too rewarding.

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## Bettyboo

& why is Slaps about 2 feet taller than the Giraffe??? Is it a Thai pigmy-giraffe?

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## somtamslap

I wasn't sure if the quite remarkable experience we were honoured enough to share with the tapir could be beaten, but we continued determined it could at least be matched.
The elephant enclosure was our next port of call. They looked desparately depressed.
I surmised the that the Feng Shui of the enclosure absolutely reeked of negative Chi and took it upon myself to deftly wittle an image of Ganesh from a nearby stick and hung it at the entrance.

This of course elicited a rejouvenation not unlike a butterfly separating from its cocoon. My work here was done.

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## somtamslap

> & why is Slaps about 2 feet taller than the Giraffe???


I'm in training for a marathon on stilts in which I'll be raising funds for sexually abused tapirs..need all the training I can get. Oh, and any donations would be very much obliged...it's an extremly worthy cause.

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## somtamslap

One of the highlights of the tour for me was watching these amateur snake handlers attempting to lure a large bastard cobra from a box. As you can see from the picture, I parked the buggy in close proximity to what was essentially a seminar of sorts and lurked with voyeuristic pleasure. 

Fatalities never crossed my mind, but I wanted at least one of the rookie reptile handlers to mess themselves due to being ferociously lunged at..



Sadly this wasn't on the Cuthbert the Cobra's agenda.

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## somtamslap

All this and I haven't even reached the Hyena finale yet! You lot must be shatting yourselves with exicitement, I know I am.

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## Carrabow

Cobra's den:

You could have used the zoom button Slap...

It the one with the magnifying glass and *+ & -* button   :Smile:

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## somtamslap

> You could have used the zoom button Slap...


 Bugger that! I wasn't going to make any sudden movements!

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## Carrabow

> Originally Posted by Carrabow
> 
> You could have used the zoom button Slap...
> 
> 
>  Bugger that! I wasn't going to make any sudden movements!


 
 :smiley laughing:   yeah, you will get too close ...eh?

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## somtamslap

> yeah, you will get too close ...eh?


 I wasn't going to take any risks in THAT scenario!

I shall prepare your palates for the grand finale with a picture of a hyena with his head up an elephant's anus..

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## Bettyboo

^ Is this elephant dead or is it some kind of Belgian sexual happenings...  :Sad:

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## somtamslap

^ It's a bit like when you see certain species of bird pecking fleas from cattle.

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## Bettyboo

dead cattle that they're attempting to eat or live cattle that they're full-head rimming?

I don't ever want to see a picture like that again, obviously some wag is gonna use it as their avatar... horrible... disgusting... perverse... Belgian...  :Sad:

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## Carrabow

> ^ Is this elephant dead or is it some kind of Belgian sexual happenings...


Where's BF? He ought to know  :Smile:

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## Bettyboo

^ He was last seen at a Korat fancy dress swinger's party a couple of days ago; you guessed it - he was dressed as a...  :Smile:

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## khmen

> unless you had a work permit handy


If I have a work permit do I then pay Thai price for attractions that have the 200 baht farang fee, waterfalls, caves etc? If so, I'm going to fake one before any future motorbike trips as I've lost count of the things I've missed due to not wanting to pay 200 baht entry at every single waterfall or whatever.

Fuck em, two can play that game!  :Smile:

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## jizzybloke

^yep. 

But if you throw a wobbly at the Khao Yai entrance and turn the engine off (in a truck) and just sit there holding everyone else up for a while they take the Thai price and basically tell you to fock off inside.
Then you give them a nice smile start the engine and get as a bonus the Mrs ignoring you for 2 days, peace and quiet! 
 :Smile:

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## CalEden

Hey, where's the cobra photo?

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## somtamslap

> Hey, where's the cobra photo?


 I don't like Cobras. I shall refer you to Exhibit A:

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## oldgit

It don't look very well Slap

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## sabaii sabaii

^ Withnallstoke likes it rough  :Smile:

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## Bangyai

> 


 
' _I know I didn't leave my car keys in here but its the only place I havn't checked_ '

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## Carrabow

Thats a hell of a way to perform a lower G.I  :Smile: 

"If my doctor did that I would have to kick his ass"

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## barryofthailand

The absolute best zoo in Thailand is the Kow Kaiew open zoo in Sriracha. Only 20 minutes from Pattaya.
Barry

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## somtamslap

Proves the ignorance of people on this thread. I haven't even written the Hyena Finale yet!

In the meantime, here's a picture of my friend Norris Nakabuku and his pet hyena, Horace.

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## CalEden

Thanks somtamslap, great cobra photo....and pet Hyena photo, classic.

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## aramuk

that's what we call pet...cool

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## ShilohJim

Norris should have one of those cute muzzles on too!

Jim

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## robuzo

> Proves the ignorance of people on this thread. I haven't even written the Hyena Finale yet!
> 
> In the meantime, here's a picture of my friend Norris Nakabuku and his pet hyena, Horace.


I knew a guy in Florida who had two. Used to release them in his compound at night, "So if someone does break in all that we'll find in the morning will be clothes." First learned from him that it is very difficult to tell male and female hyenas apart, but the females are bigger, and based on the couple he had, a lot nastier.

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## Bettyboo

^ I fully agree with you, my Nigerian friend. Ngwoa nPosu Bigeebee!

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## somtamslap

This fucker's running rampant..

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## Bettyboo

^ don't reply to the fuking bot or it gets worse... oops!

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## alwarner

It's Norris Nakabuku - guyinthailands AIDS threads have made his head implode.

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