#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Living In Thailand Forum >  >  How many wives have you got?

## somtamslap

If I had a baht for everytime I'd been asked such a DISGRACEFUL question, I'd have enough money to nip down the massage place for a quick grease down..but multi relationships surely must have their drawbacks..

I walked into 7/11 in between punctures the other day; 'Ding Dong', chimed the thoroughly irriating tones of the automatic sliding door. 

As I approached the section of the shop in which I consider things to be edible, playing with the small change in my pocket and ready to part with 29 bahts worth of it for my usual ham, cheese and egg sandwich which I DON'T require to be put in the toasting machine or the microwave..can you please please please not be so fucking retarded, you see me everyday of the week and whilst being rather cute your pure stupidity overides this one attribute.

Sorry, I forgot what I was talking about then.

So I was perusing the sandwich section hoping my favourite wouldn't be sold out, when I saw THEEE MOST STUNNING women my eyes have ever had the pleasure to appraise. To say my knob twitched would be a gargantuan understatement..I was stiff as a fucking bored and now half heartedly fumbling through the sandwich shelf.
Not only was she of a perfect height, weight and figure but she moved with such elegance, allowing her perfectly shaped back side to writhe seductively in what could only be descibed as a skirt the length of a belt..

I could see the headline in the following day's Bangkok Post..

" Fat Foreigner Forces Fornication Infront of Fridge"..

Then, HE snaked up behind her and actually touched that perfect arse with a hand that was riddled with liver spots which suggested he was in the latter stages of his life..I managed to subdue the storm that was taking place in my underpants and regained my composure before heading to the counter with my sandwich..the old boy and his mistress in one queue, myself in the next.
He looked at me, smug as fuck, as if to say, "Hey, foreign boy, check what I got?"..I looked back to him as to reply "Yeh, I know, YOU LUCKY BASTARD"..but then I got to thinking..this old geezer probably has a wife sat patiently at home pummelling the living shat out of a handful of dried chillies with her mortar and pestle which is to comprise of part of his dinner.

And the fact that this chap is out doing what people do with their giks..kissing, dining together, tickling, fondling, foreplay, knob licking, vagina tweaking etc..I don't particularly condemn it...but I'm thinking what's the point in sneaking around doing this shit when you could go to a perfectly agreeable whore, bang the life out of her and be back in time for tea and biscuits.

Is it really worth the lies, deceit and running around behind your spouse's back?

Just go to a brothel and blow yer beans innit..

Saying that, if I had a young wench like this waiting for me in the 3 grand a month crack den, I'd probably be thinking on the contrary, dear boy..

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## Thungsongsausage

Now living in Shanghai i know what i miss most ^^^^^  :cmn: ....... the Chinese girls are fcuking ugly things.

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## WilliamBlake

^^ Lordy, lordy.




> "Hey, foreign boy, check what I got?"..


So he was Thai then? That somehow makes it much less creepy.

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## Norton

> Saying that, if I had a young wench like this waiting for me in the 3 grand a month crack den, I'd probably be thinking on the contrary, dear boy..


As would a chorus of others here too be sure.

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## somtamslap

Fack me, this got put in Member a bit lively..woz it the boobs wot done it?

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## Rigger

> How many wives have you got?


Only got one wife, but the wife thinks I have gik which I dont. Anyway it keeps her on her toes.

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## somtamslap

> So he was Thai then?


 The Thai's have the best giks..we usually get left with the shite..apart from my wife if your reading, dear.

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## Norton

> Fack me, this got put in Member a bit lively..woz it the boobs wot done it?


Damn somebody Xed out the boobs.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Is it really worth the lies, deceit and running around behind your spouse's back?  Just go to a brothel and blow yer beans innit..


Seeing as most sex with a complete stranger is shite; yes, it is worth it.

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## dirtydog

^They may say that to you marmite, doesn't mean they say it to everyone  :Smile:

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## somtamslap

RE: Marmite's post....

I beg to differ.

The end.

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## FailSafe

My wife won't allow me to see other women- I've asked permission, but she's very strict.

One wife is more than enough trouble anyway- I don't think I could manage (or survive) a second.

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## dirtydog

You aint going to see many of these in Romford on Sea somtam.

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## Lorenzo

> Is it really worth the lies, deceit and running around behind your spouse's back?


Yes it is worth it. 

Who is the HO in the pic?






> Just go to a brothel and blow yer beans innit..


short time with a HO squeezing you in between two other sods is not much to write home about

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## baldrick

> Originally Posted by somtamslap
> 
> Just go to a brothel and blow yer beans innit..
> 
> 
> short time with a HO squeezing you in between two other sods is not much to write home about


and explaing how the rubber chicken is to be utilised each time tends to dampen the romance of it all

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## Gerbil

> squeezing you in between two other sods


Is that some sort of discount special?  :bunny3:

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## Loy Toy

> Damn somebody Xed out the boobs.


The boobs are not the only thing photo-shopped in that picture mate.

I have never seen water or beaches so clean in Thailand.



Re the OP, I've already enough problems with one mate.

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## somtamslap

> You aint going to see many of these in Romford on Sea somtam.


 Yeh, but Southend on the other hand..they're 10 a penny..






> Who is the HO in the pic?


 Some bird that I had stalking me for a few years..she just wouldn't take no for an answer..






> Re the OP, I've already enough problems with one mate.


This is it, one's hard enough, just imagine having two or even three yacking in your earhole all day..

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## withnallstoke

I make do with just the one wife.
She is however, the size of three put together.

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## Yemen

Re: LoyToy- how the hell could you notice the water?

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## sunsetter

me so horny, me love you long time


mint that slap, had a burn on it?

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## peterpan

> short time with a HO squeezing you in between two other sods is not much to write home about


  Yr very right Lorenzo but it sure beats the nothing that I'm getting now.

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## somtamslap

> had a burn on it?


 Several times last night, once this morning and I'm just about to pop to the bog for another blast...

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## kmart

The Thai thing about mia nois / giks is all about macho image and ego. Doesn't matter if you just had the wildest shag of your life in a brothel or other sex venue. - If none of your peers was around to see it, it doesn't count.
Several of my Thai workers have had mia nois, and their personal lives are in total fukcing ruins with them trying to play the big stud in front of their mates.. Doesn't seem worthwhile at all to me, but..

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## nevets

Stop showing that pic its very upsetting and iam getting horny.

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## oldgit

When was the last time she cleaned out her navel   :Puke:

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## sunsetter

actually she looks familiar........

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## Mr Brown

> RE: Marmite's post....  I beg to differ.  The end.


Hi Andy Gray, women are not purely bags of meat  :bananaman:

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## Finney64

I'd smash it

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## DrAndy

> I was stiff as a fucking bored and now half heartedly fumbling through the sandwich shelf.


is that a euphemism?




> playing with the small change in my pocket


or that?

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## Marmite the Dog

> actually she looks familiar...


I was thinking that.

Looks similar to one of the waitresses in the IC (the one with the tatt on her ankle). Not sure if it is her though.

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## Norton

> actually she looks familiar........





> I was thinking that.


She's my niece.

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## withnallstoke

What a tremendous person that wench with a gussetfull of pubics must be.

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## sunsetter

> Originally Posted by sunsetter
> 
> actually she looks familiar...
> 
> 
> I was thinking that.
> 
> Looks similar to one of the waitresses in the IC (the one with the tatt on her ankle). Not sure if it is her though.


 
hmmm i think i know the one, i dont think thats her though, pop down and check for us all will ya mate :Smile:

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## keekwai

How come you get punctures near the same 7-11 all the time?  ::chitown::

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## albarb

Somtamslap,

Your writing style is priceless and very enjoyable....and so is the pic of the scrumptious one....

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## keekwai

> Only got one wife, but the wife thinks I have gik which I dont. Anyway it keeps her on her toes.


Had an ex GF who thought every girl I looked at was a gik. Normal Thai Girl behaviour.

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## sagegong

> If I had a baht for everytime I'd been asked such a DISGRACEFUL question, I'd have enough money to nip down the massage place for a quick grease down..but multi relationships surely must have their drawbacks..
> 
> I walked into 7/11 in between punctures the other day; 'Ding Dong', chimed the thoroughly irriating tones of the automatic sliding door. 
> 
> As I approached the section of the shop in which I consider things to be edible, playing with the small change in my pocket and ready to part with 29 bahts worth of it for my usual ham, cheese and egg sandwich which I DON'T require to be put in the toasting machine or the microwave..can you please please please not be so fucking retarded, you see me everyday of the week and whilst being rather cute your pure stupidity overides this one attribute.
> 
> Sorry, I forgot what I was talking about then.
> 
> So I was perusing the sandwich section hoping my favourite wouldn't be sold out, when I saw THEEE MOST STUNNING women my eyes have ever had the pleasure to appraise. To say my knob twitched would be a gargantuan understatement..I was stiff as a fucking bored and now half heartedly fumbling through the sandwich shelf.
> ...


Just tell me where was that pic. taken, very clean.

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## Bob63

> Just tell me where was that pic. taken, very clean.


Looks like Bahamas   :mid:

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## keekwai

^^ What did she use to stick those little red crosses on her tits?

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## WilliamBlake

> ^^ What did she use to stick those little red crosses on her tits?


My tongue.

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## dirk diggler

Everyone round here assumes I have a mia noi, probably cos my girlfriend's name is Oi. 

"who you with?"

"Me n Oi"

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## keekwai

You're with yourself? That's very objective of you!  :Smile:

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## kmart

> Originally Posted by sagegong
> 
> Just tell me where was that pic. taken, very clean.
> 
> 
> Looks like Bahamas


Either that or someone has kindly airbrushed the Festival Of Litter out of the background.

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## dirk diggler

> You're with yourself? That's very objective of you!


Dirk does that sometimes.

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## Porjai

> ^They may say that to you marmite, doesn't mean they say it to everyone


Is his name Marmite because 

a) he's horrible?

b) he likes to plough the marmite motorway?

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## Rigger

> b) he likes to plough the marmite motorway?


I think b may be the correct answer  :Smile:

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## Jester

OK I am brand new here but I just had to do a quick comment here.  (joined a while back, got sidetracked 2 years in Mexico, coming to Chiang Mai in early November hopefully to stay.)

What I wanted to say is 
(1) this is the first thread I gravitated to 
(2) it reminds me of why I thought expats in Thailand are the cream of the crop.  (Or of something?)  

You Brits are too funny.. and merciless!

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## david44

Too funny yet may be true
Did Mexican jail for a screw?
Japalpeno bjs really messed her
Rough on a girl called Jester
Did big bad Jesus Love you ?

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## Jester

> Too funny yet may be true
> Did Mexican jail for a screw?
> Japalpeno bjs really messed her
> Rough on a girl called Jester
> Did big bad Jesus Love you ?




There once was a punter called David
Whose poetry had to be braved
He mentioned his "Missus"
Turned out they were  "Misses"
So it seems he was very depraved!

 :silvercup:

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## Mozzbie47

> me so horny, me love you long time
> 
> 
> mint that slap, had a burn on it?


  I wouldn't be all that interested, she would have to say please may we have intercourse

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## chassamui

Women being what they are, how could any normal bloke manage more than one at a time?


Luigi is not a normal bloke.  :Wink:

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## thaimeme

> Women being what they are, how could any normal bloke manage more than one at a time?
> 
> 
> Luigi is not a normal bloke.


 
Yet, Luigi might be mistaken for a one _Walter Mitty_ - just for our [and his] amusement.....pulling  chains successfully along the way.

 :Smile:

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## Dillinger

I doubt any of Luigis  1,000 baht a nighters are anywhere near as hot as that. 

Nice

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## Jack meoff

Luigi only entertains post ops  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

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## Topper

> Luigi only entertains post ops


Every aircraft today is first flown by a test pilot, just to see how she responds to the controls....

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## crepitas

555:
  I have always had permission to partake of a different smell..Provisos being a condom and not in our house.
  Had opportunities from pretty step nieces and two iffy sisters...Not worth it. Twice with bar girls when the wife was awayonce the old fella let me down with a stunner the other with a buxom Isaan ladymay as well have jerked off.
  Mia Nois bah! Cannot be bothered...Age I guess. 
  Why is it that most all the local 711 serving girls have mustaches? A visit to the air conditioned luxury of a 711 is always good for eye candy therapy though...Pity most are jail bait...School uniforms...lol


Re the pic think I 'knew' her like when I first moved here..less pretty face though..she was a a bit of an animal...her nick name was 'monkey'..last I heard she was on some island mixing concrete...

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## crepitas

No doubt that like the donkeys tail hanging in front of the same hole may perhaps get to be a bit boring.
  Me, if I ever considered a mia noi it would be the occasional splash and dash with a married ladyworked with ex...damn my mobile 'call' memory...

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## Jester

> 555:
>   I have always had permission to partake of a different smell..Provisos being a condom and not in our house.
>   Had opportunities from pretty step nieces and two iffy sisters...



^ THIS  ^

THIS is what drew me to TeakDoor, to Thailand.  Not the women.  The EXPATS.  Unabashed rogues.  

Almost free.  I'm almost free...

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## Latindancer

She has a prettier face in this pic...

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## Luigi

Main Luigistress just back from Japan. 

slow cooking dinner in the kitchen as we speak.

Jumping on the bike next weekend and going up to nympo misstress for a few days, then doing a bit of bike touring around Central/Isaan for a few days.

Other mistress from BKK might be back in her home town of Phi Mai. Would be good for a night.

Then have already arranged a date with a hot 23 yr old for the Friday night in Mukdahan and smoking sultry 41 yr old in Surin on the Saturday night before riding back to BKK.


Works for me.

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## Dillinger

^ we heard you the first time you boring twat

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## Latindancer

So...er....which are the sexually transmitted diseases one can still get with a condom ??

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## Luigi

> ^ we heard you the first time you boring twat


Often best to repeat oneself when talking with a lad of your 'advanced' years.

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## chassamui

The vacuus and puritanical are safe from any internet virus.

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## Dillinger

I don't get why someone would brag about sexual conquests in the worlds biggest brothel. Lifting your low self esteem by bragging to anonymous pensioners seem a bit fucked up to me. Why someone would want to show that audience  a picture of his lips and patchy gay bum fluff is also a bit weird. 

Luigi's definitely trying to get some swinging action on here. 

Look at the chicken necked suave fuck with his ball tickler beard, he wants to be the meat in a sandwich for sure.  :rofl:

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## BaitongBoy

None...To answer the question in the thread title...

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## Luigi

Some people, they get themselves all upset over nothing.  :Smile:

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## thaimeme

> I don't get why someone would brag about sexual conquests in the worlds biggest brothel. Lifting your low self esteem by bragging to anonymous pensioners seem a bit fucked up to me. Why someone would want to show that audience a picture of his lips and patchy gay bum fluff is also a bit weird. 
> 
> Luigi's definitely trying to get some swinging action on here. 
> 
> Look at the chicken necked suave fuck with his ball tickler beard, he wants to be the meat in a sandwich for sure.


He's a young lad, yet - he'll learn in time [or not].

 :Mischievous:

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## chassamui

Can someone put this in the doghouse so Smeg can answer it. Just for clarification like.

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## beerlaodrinker

> Originally Posted by Jack meoff
> 
> Luigi only entertains post ops
> 
> 
> Every aircraft today is first flown by a test pilot, just to see how she responds to the controls....


you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it either eh?

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## Dillinger

But would you buy a car after Luigi's test drove it ? :Smile:

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## chassamui



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## Neverna

I'm sure Luigi's care are serviced well and regularly.  :Smile:

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## Dillinger

^^  :rofl: 

^like Avis rentals :Smile:

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## thaimeme

> ^^ 
> 
> ^like Avis rentals


_Budget_ rentals.....

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

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## boloa

> Originally Posted by Dillinger
> 
> 
> ^^ 
> 
> ^like Avis rentals
> 
> 
> _Budget_ rentals.....


I heard Luigi shags them till it Hertz  :Smile:

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## Iceman123

He is on his sixt right now!

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## Dillinger

Hahaha

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