#  >  > Non Asia Travel Forums >  >  > UK Travel Forum >  >  A pilgrimage across southern England

## Mendip

I'm planning a trip with my daughter back to Old Blighty this summer. 

I wasn't going to start a thread about it for some time but I've had so much advice of where to go and how to do things I thought I need to create a place to put everything before finalising my plans. Thanks to everyone who has offered advice so far, in particular Bonecollector. Much appreciated.

So far the rough plan is to arrive in the UK early July and stay until mid August. We will be based at my mum's place in North Somerset throughout with the intention of spending 2 or 3 days with my mum, then away for 2 or 3 days, and so on. My wife will be staying in Korat, claiming she doesn't like flying... which none of us do of course. I haven't pushed the point because in many ways it will be easier with just me and the littl'un... we're very close and we both enjoy doing things. And besides, I get very little time alone with my daughter and at 10 (going on 15) I have to be realistic in that there won't be a whole lot of years left when she wants to spend time with her old man. Also, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't really want to spend 6 weeks with my outlaws in Thailand so it's fair enough I guess.

So, just me and the daughter it will be. I'm hoping to relive childhood memories and holidays, catch up with long neglected friendships and generally create a whole lot of memories for my daughter and mother. It may sound a bit knobby to call it an 'Oddysey' but I think this is one? If not, it sounds like a pretty good thread title anyway.

I'm under no illusion that this will be hard work at times. It will be great to spend time with my mum and especially to see Granddaughter and Grandmother spend time together, but I'm not really close to the rest of my family in the UK and occasionally it will be hard going. Also, my 10 year-old daughter will miss her mum at times... as will I on hair washing days and when I fancy a few pints with my mates at the local. But anyway, I've long promised this trip to my daughter and now that Covid is finally releasing it's grip, the time has come. On cider nights my mum can babysit... win win.

We should arrive early July and I believe the English schools break up around the end of the third week of July? The first excursion I have planned is therefore Lyme Regis before the schools break up and roads are still navigable. While growing up, we had our family summer holidays in a caravan in Lyme Regis every year, of which I have very fond memories. I well remember catching crabs and collecting fossils along the Jurassic Coast and hope to repeat those activities with the daughter. Already this trip to west Dorset is being added to with Devon and Cornwall now on the itinerary, courtesy of PAG...




> The Donkey Sanctuary, on the east side of Sidmouth might be worth a  visit, being not far from Lyme Regis.   I used to live between Budleigh  Salterton and Sidmouth.
> 
> Sidmouth | Visit Our Sanctuary | The Donkey Sanctuary



And OhOh...




> This is an evening delight.
> 
> Attachment 86104
> 
> The *Minack Theatre* (Cornish: _Gwaryjy Minack_) is an open-air theatre, constructed above a gully with a rocky granite outcrop jutting into the sea. The theatre is at Porthcurno, 4 miles (6.4 km) from Land's End in Cornwall, England.
> 
> https://www.minack.com/whats-on


I should have a decent ride throughout the six weeks... a friend of my mum's has a RAV4 going spare which is a good drive, especially when it's for free. 

My other plans include a trip to London for 3 or 4 days, visiting the HMS Victory in Portsmouth, paying a visit to an old friend who lives in Gorleston-On-Sea (Great Yarmouth), and more locally to my mum, I have a friend in Cheltenham to visit and I was also thinking of a night in Shepton Mallet jail. 

The London trip will start with a full English at the Regency Cafe, and hopefully include a tourist ride on an open top bus, trips to the Natural History Museum at Kensington and also (thanks BC and Shutree) the Science Museum. Someone (was it Malmo Mike?) mentioned taking in a show in the West End? That may be an idea and my violinist sister who used to work in Covent Garden may be able to help there. I need to look through all the advice and collate everything.

Other ideas have included canal boating in Oxfordshire and climbing Mount Snowdon, although seeing as that's in Wales it doesn't really fit with the thread.

But for now I need to put another work trip to Norway behind me, books some flights and start planning an itinerary. I need to get a list of activities to whittle down and make a list of accommodation to book. I've never even stayed in an AirBNB so this will be a learning curve and the thought of using public transport in London leaves me cold. But with a kid I guess you have to just get on with it.

I've already started making a pile of things to pack lest we forget anything at the last minute. This I will add to over the coming weeks.

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## nidhogg

If you go to Portsmouth for the Victory, you should plan a few hours in Clarence pier in Southsea.  Maybe add in a hovercraft ride to the Isle of Wight?

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## Shutree

I sense a cracker of a thread developing here.

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## happynz

A paperclip can come in handy.

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## armstrong

Would be nice to see what's Gorleston is like so I don't have to visit it ever again.

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## bsnub

Looking forward to going on this ride with ya Mendy! It sure to be a banger!

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## cyrille

:wince:

cringeworthy much?  :Very Happy:

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## bsnub

> cringeworthy much?


Hi grumpy.  :Smile:

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## Buckaroo Banzai

> So, just me and the daughter it will be. I'm hoping to relive childhood memories and holidays, catch up with long neglected friendships and generally create a whole lot of memories for my daughter and mother. It may sound a bit knobby to call it an 'Oddysey' but I think this is one? If not, it sounds like a pretty good thread title anyway.


An excellent title for a thread of that type. 
After all the trips deferred by covid many of us are finally dusting the cobwebs and finally plan that sojourn to that national source that has shaped so much of our personality, and see people we have missed for so long.
And what better way to do it than with your daughter, exposing her, and allowing her to connect with that part of her rich culture,
I am very excited for you and look forward to reading about it.  :Smile:

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## BLD

> I'm planning a trip with my daughter back to Old Blighty this summer. 
> 
> I wasn't going to start a thread about it for some time but I've had so much advice of where to go and how to do things I thought I need to create a place to put everything before finalising my plans. Thanks to everyone who has offered advice so far, in particular Bonecollector. Much appreciated.
> 
> So far the rough plan is to arrive in the UK early July and stay until mid August. We will be based at my mum's place in North Somerset throughout with the intention of spending 2 or 3 days with my mum, then away for 2 or 3 days, and so on. My wife will be staying in Korat, claiming she doesn't like flying... which none of us do of course. I haven't pushed the point because in many ways it will be easier with just me and the littl'un... we're very close and we both enjoy doing things. And besides, I get very little time alone with my daughter and at 10 (going on 15) I have to be realistic in that there won't be a whole lot of years left when she wants to spend time with her old man. Also, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't really want to spend 6 weeks with my outlaws in Thailand so it's fair enough I guess.
> 
> So, just me and the daughter it will be. I'm hoping to relive childhood memories and holidays, catch up with long neglected friendships and generally create a whole lot of memories for my daughter and mother. It may sound a bit knobby to call it an 'Oddysey' but I think this is one? If not, it sounds like a pretty good thread title anyway.
> 
> I'm under no illusion that this will be hard work at times. It will be great to spend time with my mum and especially to see Granddaughter and Grandmother spend time together, but I'm not really close to the rest of my family in the UK and occasionally it will be hard going. Also, my 10 year-old daughter will miss her mum at times... as will I on hair washing days and when I fancy a few pints with my mates at the local. But anyway, I've long promised this trip to my daughter and now that Covid is finally releasing it's grip, the time has come. On cider nights my mum can babysit... win win.
> ...


What do you have to do to get a night in Shelton mallot jail? Asking for a friend

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## PAG

Somerset to Lyme Regis is a comfortable drive.     I would recommend staying in decent pubs with accommodation.   Already mentioned the Donkey Sanctuary outside Sidmouth, contuining west, the South Hams area of Devon is very pleasant, and Paignton Zoo used to be quite good.   A sojourn over Dartmoor for the wild ponies is another possibility.   Crossing into Cornwall, again staying on the south coast, possibly the Eden Project to visit also.   Come back along the north coast, Bude etc, maybe have a look at Clovelly when you cross back into Devon, and stay on the north coast taking you back to Somerset.

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## Bonecollector

Old Japanese saying 

For want of a paper clip -- Bomb blew up -- many fucking died

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## Bonecollector

Looking forward to it, you guys will have a great time!

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## sabang

You're spoilt for choice of course, but Lulworth Cove in Dorset is spectacular.

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## Neverna

For the English cultural aspect, an afternoon at Weymouth beach to take in a Punch and Judy show, buy a plastic bucket and spade to make sandcastles together, eat some ice-cream and candy-floss, eat some fish and chips and play hide your sandwiches with the seagulls. You could also teach her to make a traditional knotted-hanky hat.

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## Mendip

> If you go to Portsmouth for the Victory, you should plan a few hours in Clarence pier in Southsea.  Maybe add in a hovercraft ride to the Isle of Wight?


Excellent idea Nid. I've just checked about Clarence Pier and it seems to be some kind of amusement arcade which doesn't appeal so much, but a hovercraft ride across to the Isle of Wight certainly does. It may even give me another opportunity to wear my Captain's hat. An old friend/colleague of mine lives in Southampton so maybe I can incorporate these together, and maybe a place to leave the car? Good fossil hunting to be had on the Isle of Wight as well!

It always reminds me of...





[QUOTE=happynz;4390943]
A paperclip can come in handy.




> Old Japanese saying 
> 
> For want of a paper clip -- Bomb blew up -- many fucking died


Good thinking guys, I've put the paper clip in with the Monopoly set. I may even add another.





> What do you have to do to get a night in Shelton mallot jail? Asking for a friend


You have to pay to get in there these days mate... I thought it may serve as a warning to the littl'un to stay on the straight and narrow.

History - Shepton Mallet Prison





> Somerset to Lyme Regis is a comfortable drive.     I  would recommend staying in decent pubs with accommodation.   A sojourn over Dartmoor for the wild ponies is another  possibility.   Crossing into Cornwall, again staying on the south coast,  possibly the Eden Project to visit also.   Come back along the north  coast, Bude etc, maybe have a look at Clovelly when you cross back into  Devon, and stay on the north coast taking you back to Somerset.





> You're spoilt for choice of course, but Lulworth Cove in Dorset is spectacular.


Thanks guys... I can see that it will take a lot more than 3 days in Lyme Regis to do the West Country justice. This is all starting to get a bit daunting... I wish someone could sort it all out for me and drive us around.

PAG, my father grew up in Looe, and also my father's mother (my Grandmother) came from Meldon... in fact the house I grew up in was called Meldon for that reason. These are two places that need to be added for the family historical flavour. I'd like the daughter to know this stuff... it's easy to forget these things when living in Thailand.

Pubs is a great idea... how do you book up accommodation in pubs? Booking.com or is it this AirBNB thing?

Sabang, I've been to Lulworth Cove many times in the past for geological field trips... 'O' level, 'A' level and degree. It is indeed spectacular and thanks for reminding me... I forget that my daughter has never seen this stuff and it is now added to the list. In fact this will be the first time my daughter has visited the UK in the summer... and it will be my first time in over 15 years... I hope the weather's nice!





> An excellent title for a thread of that type. 
> .... her rich culture,
> I am very excited for you and look forward to reading about it.


Kind words mate.

I wondered about 'Oddysey' but I thought it sounded like one of those Victorian adventurers and I've always wished I did that. I just hope I don't spend 6 weeks pissed up on cider using my mum as a baby sitter. We shall see.

As for rich... those days have long gone I'm afraid.

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## Mendip

> For the English cultural aspect, an afternoon at Weymouth beach to take in a Punch and Judy show, buy a plastic bucket and spade to make sandcastles together, eat some ice-cream and candy-floss, eat some fish and chips and play hide your sandwiches with the seagulls. You could also teach her to make a traditional knotted-hanky hat.


Thanks Nev, Weymouth added. I think she's grown out of buckets and spades but a Punch and Judy show sounds good... you're never too young to learn about domestic violence!

And I'll look for some handkerchiefs tomorrow so she can start practicing her knots.

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## nidhogg

Hi mendy, clarence pier is an amusement arcade.  Was thinking your daughter might need that after looking at old boats!!

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## Mendip

^ Yeah, I see your point Nid. 

But bloody hell, after spending the day exploring my hero's flagship I'll be wanting a quiet couple of pints to reflect on the experience. The last thing I'd need would be a noisy amusement arcade full of kids!

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## nidhogg

> ^ Yeah, I see your point Nid. 
> 
> But bloody hell, after spending the day exploring my hero's flagship I'll be wanting a quiet couple of pints to reflect on the experience. The last thing I'd need would be a noisy amusement arcade full of kids!


I get it.  Not 9nly the victory, but the mary rose and the naval museum.  But you are going to have to give her a few things.  Maybe one day the docks, next day the arcade and isle of wight.

I can still remember my hovercraft ride, must be close to 50 years ago.

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## malmomike77

Erm Mendip i would never suggest going to a show, i fooking hate musicals or anything stage related with lovies, comedians maybe. I suggested you make use of the water taxi down the Thames to Greenwich - great views stuff to do.

Trouble is with such a short trip you need to ensure it doesn't just turn into a whirlwind and ruin the experience by trying to fit too much in. Have you asked Mini what she'd like to see.

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## malmomike77

One i was going to add, checking dates. The Bristol Baloon Fiesta with the night glows - local to you and 11-14th Aug tho. 6pm so you could add it on to another local visit.

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## Mendip

^^ Whoops sorry mate, it must have been somebody else! You can see how easily things get mixed up.

And yeah, this has to be a holiday foremost and not turn into a chore. The Clifton balloon fiesta is a 25 minute car ride from my mum's house... on the list!

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## malmomike77

^ the night glows are unforgetable and certainly more professional than the first i went to in 82. She'll love it.

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## Stumpy

Looking forward to the pictures Mendy.

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## armstrong

Has your daughter been back before? 

My daughter's 8 and never been to England. I'm pretty sure her idea of what it is is completely warped as well.  We'll have to do London/Norwich with her sometime soon just to get it out of her system. 

I've only been back for a total of 2 weeks in 13 years so a kebab would be nice I guess

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## Gambler

I would strongly suggest a trip to that shrine of football known as Ashton Gate.....and a day trip to see the SS Great Britain   :Very Happy:

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## Mendip

^ I haven't been to Ashton Gate since the 1990s... I watched Joe Jordan come on for his last ever appearance... city had run out of players so Big Joe got off the manager's seat and joined the attack. I can also remember watching city play Chelsea at Ashton Gate (in the FA cup I think). The Chelsea supporters were throwing pound coins at the city end and laughing as we picked them up (I did quite well, if I remember correctly).

I think I also watched city play Liverpool in the early 80s... back in their glory years (well, year). My mum grew up in Bedminster so I've always been a city supporter.

Would there be any football going on in July / August? The SS Great Britain is on the list, as will be a walk across the Clifton Suspension Bridge, another of Brunel's masterpieces.





> ^ the night glows are unforgetable and certainly more professional than the first i went to in 82. She'll love it.


I can combine it one of many trips into Bristol to see family mate. I believe it's at Clifton Court, just across from the Leigh Woods side of the suspension bridge?





> Has your daughter been back before?


She's been to the UK several times, but only ever at Christmas. This will be her first ever summer trip and the first time I've spent any time back there in the summer for around 20 years. I must admit I'm looking forward to long evenings... one of the things I miss when living in Thailand. 

Another thing on my list will be a day's fly fishing from a boat on Blagdon Lake, something I haven't done for around 25 years. I just hope my tackle is still OK... it's been in my mum's garage all that time.

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## malmomike77

Ashton Court, where they used to have the music festivals, or may still do but yes right near thr suspension bridge.

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## malmomike77

Summer Trip... now perhaps take her fruit picking, only an hour and she can gorge on strawberries etc, Thais love the and there must be some pick your own farms near, Wilts has loads.

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## Mendip

^ The southern slopes of the Mendips are world famous for strawberries... before Beeching closed it, the railway line through Cheddar was called 'The Strawberry Line', used to get strawberries to the London market on the same day as picking. Sadly I think June is the strawberry month, July/August will be too late.

Maybe raspberries? It'll be too early to go apple scrumping.

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## malmomike77

Annnnd, given her age she may want to buy some uk girlie clothes although you may not be best placed to shop with her - offload her to some women for an afternoon in Bristol for some girl time.

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## Mendip

> Ashton Court


Yeah, that's what I meant... not 'Clifton Court', of course. It's been a long time.

There's a good pitch and putt golf course there as well, I used to play on.

^ I can go sandal shopping with the best of them... but you're right, maybe she'd enjoy a day's clothes shopping with the sisters.

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## malmomike77

^^ thr season may be still ok or fook it go cheap ealy/mid Aug and go blackberry picking :Smile:

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## Stumpy

> Another thing on my list will be a day's fly fishing


While I don't miss all that much being away from the states fly fishing and camping along a river is one of them.  The crisp mornings, getting my waders on, trekking out to a nice slow moving section and casting away.  Many times I have been fly fishing on the Trinity River in California and beautiful black bears come down to drink water and fish while I am. Amazing. Then hook up a 8 to 12lb Steelhead or Salmon on their way up to spawn is just outstanding fun.  Bring it into the shallows, remove the fly and send it back on its way and Thank it for the time. 

I still have all my gear but when I visit now, simply no time

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## Mendip

^ How did life become so busy mate? I don't seem to have time for anything, any more.

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## Neverna

> Maybe raspberries? It'll be too early to go apple scrumping.


Blackcurrants. 

I used to enjoy blackcurrant picking as a lad. Got paid by the bucket and you could eat as many as you like. I think it's all mechanised now, though.

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## Stumpy

> ^ How did life become so busy mate? I don't seem to have time for anything, any more.


I don't know Mendy.  Life just gets busy and sometimes complicated.  Priorities change and those things we liked to do for ourselves get shelved. I always tell myself....at least I got to do them versus never having the chance.

I always had this thought I would end up living in Montana or NE Colorado and fish and relax having a nice little house with a few acres in small town.  I ended up in Thailand with a modest house in a small town with a few acres right on a river......with no fish.   :smiley laughing:

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## Bonecollector

> Brunel's masterpieces


Absolute legend

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## Bonecollector

> I always had this thought I would end up living in Montana or NE Colorado and fish and relax having a nice little house with a few acres in


I was looking at land prices in Montana, gone up just a tad since the last time I looked about a decade ago.

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## Joe 90

> but you're right, maybe she'd enjoy a day's clothes shopping with the sisters


Give her £100 and point her in the direction of Primark. 

It's were all the kids shop .

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## Gambler

> ^ I haven't been to Ashton Gate since the 1990s... I watched Joe Jordan come on for his last ever appearance... city had run out of players so Big Joe got off the manager's seat and joined the attack. I can also remember watching city play Chelsea at Ashton Gate (in the FA cup I think). The Chelsea supporters were throwing pound coins at the city end and laughing as we picked them up (I did quite well, if I remember correctly).
> 
> I think I also watched city play Liverpool in the early 80s... back in their glory years (well, year). My mum grew up in Bedminster so I've always been a city supporter.


Crikey, the Gate has been completely refurbished since you were last there and a new training ground built in Failand.




> Would there be any football going on in July / August? The SS Great Britain is on the list, as will be a walk across the Clifton Suspension Bridge, another of Brunel's masterpieces.


Yes, the EFL fixtures are starting on July 30th - a bit earlier than usual due to the world cup.

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## Shutree

> I just hope my tackle is still OK... it's been in my mum's garage all that time.


Was this a factor in the wife's decision not to join your trip?

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## Mendip

^ I don't think that's the reason Shutree, my wife appreciates vintage tackle. It's well made, is tried and trusted and has staying power, unlike a lot of the new stuff around these days. I caught a lot of trout with that tackle back in the day. I think the wife just didn't fancy spending six weeks continuously with me in the UK.

Her loss, of course.





> Yes, the EFL fixtures are starting on July 30th - a bit earlier than usual due to the world cup.


Thanks Gambler, added to the list. It's about time the daughter went to a live, top flight football match. I have a feeling that next season could be City's year.

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## David48atTD

Can we have a Map please?

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## Mendip

^ Yes, no problem David1:50,000atTD.

What exactly would you like a map of? And at what scale?

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## Joe 90

I think this is what David and Mendip have in mind..



Personally I'd cycle the route, not drive.

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## OhOh

> Personally I'd cycle the route, not drive.


I suspect his daughter may differ with that choice of transportation.  Even if there would be more choices of a decent Cornish pasty to be had.

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## Mendip

^ I havn't got a bike,  anyway.

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## Joe 90

> ^ I havn't got a bike,  anyway.


I'll lend you a couple mate,my garage is like a tour de france pit stop.

You booked any hotels for London yet?

The prices even at the moment for West London in a Travelodge are starting at £200 a night!

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## Mendip

Nothing booked yet, not even the flights. I'll book a few nights in London in due course.

I think it's more likely we'll 'oddysey' across southern England by car rather than bicycle to be honest... it's a long way from Somerset to Great Yarmouth, and there's the luggage to think about as well.

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## Mendip

The 'oddysey' is taking shape nicely.

Owing to a lot of spare time on my current offshore job, flights are now booked between 11th July and 15th August. They weren't cheap either... prices seem to have gone up a lot.

So this is now definitely happening and the daughter's getting excited.

Also booked are 3 nights down Lyme Regis way between 17th and 20th July, before the schools break up. Maybe we'll head on westwards from there for a couple of days... Devon and Cornwall. It would seem rude not to while we're down there. It'd also be great to pick up a genuine Cornish Pasty. There's still a lot of days to fill and this will take some coordinating.

Today's task is to secure transport. The guy I usually borrow a car from isn't answering his phone and it would introduce a major, unexpected expense if I have to hire one.

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## Buckaroo Banzai

> Today's task is to secure transport. The guy I usually borrow a car from isn't answering his phone and it would introduce a major, unexpected expense if I have to hire one.


He might have caller ID, did you try calling from a different phone? LOL

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## Shutree

> Maybe we'll head on westwards from there for a couple of days... Devon and Cornwall.


I do like a real Cornish pasty. The thing with Cornwall is that it is a long drive down to Land's End. You cross the Tamar and a few hours later you begin to wonder when Cornwall will end. Maybe easier before the schools break up. Remember that all the posh kids who go to Rock will finish their private schools by mid-July.

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## malmomike77

> They weren't cheap either... prices seem to have gone up a lot.


They have, fuel prices are the cause, oh and a bit of price gouging to recoup some COVID losses.




> There's still a lot of days to fill and this will take some coordinating.


You need to take Mini on a Mackerel fishing trip, she'll be staggered by catching so many so easily. Afterwards you can take a camp stove and cook some on the beach.

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## PAG

An alternative that will solve the problem of transport and accommodation would be a camper van.   Obviously not for the full duration of the visit, however could be OK for the actual touring periods.   Would need more planning of course, but no shortage of camp sites in the West Country as I'm sure you know.

Campervan hire Somerset - Private motorhome hire | Goboony

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## malmomike77

Well she's just about to get a whole lot more excited when she knows what she'll be doing on July 1st or 9th, she'll want the new album too.

https://www.thewurzels.com/gigs.htm

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## Joe 90

Cycling/camping holiday around the UK is the way to go for a couple of weeks.
You'll get super fit and experience the great outdoors of Blighty.

No stuck in traffic jams or endless soulless hotel rooms.

And it's like the budgie.....cheap!

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## Mendip

^ Well, that's a bugger, we don't arrive until July 12th...



The Grand Pier in Weston-Super-Mare would have been perfect. Maybe we can fit in Bath Racecourse on 13th August on our last weekend? We leave on the 15th.

It's high time the daughter experienced a big, live music concert!





> I do like a real Cornish pasty. The thing with Cornwall is that it is a long drive down to Land's End. You cross the Tamar and a few hours later you begin to wonder when Cornwall will end. Maybe easier before the schools break up. Remember that all the posh kids who go to Rock will finish their private schools by mid-July.


Cornwall is off the list sadly... I think I've left it a bit late and everything seems to be booked up. It was a long drive anyway, and as you say, it'll probably be full of public school kids causing a nuisance.

I can always pick up a pasty at the Coop near my mum's.





> You need to take Mini on a Mackerel fishing trip, she'll be staggered by catching so many so easily. Afterwards you can take a camp stove and cook some on the beach.


Strangely enough I was talking about the exact same thing with my mate from Somerset who I'm 'working' with just now. He showed me a video he took at West Bay harbour a few years ago when a shoal of mackerel swam in... the water was boiling with fish and he caught loads. The daughter and I are staying at West Bay because Lyme Regis was too busy. West Bay is only a short drive away from Lyme Regis so we'll still be able to visit and go fossil hunting there, no problem.





> An alternative that will solve the problem of transport and accommodation would be a camper van.


It's a thought PAG but not really what I had in mind and I'll need a car for most of the trip anyway. I still can't get through to the guy who I borrow the RAV4 from though, so maybe I'll have to change plans. It's a good job there isn't much for me to do on this boat because this holiday planning is becoming very time consuming.

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## Joe 90

> I still can't get through to the guy who I borrow the RAV4 from though so maybe I'll have to change plans.


Ive got a Rav 4 sat on my drive doing nothing, yours for £1500 and you can flog before you leave, winner winner chicken dinner. PM me for details, trouble is it's in Manchester.

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## malmomike77

^ will your Ex report it stolen?  :Smile: 




> Maybe we can fit in Bath Racecourse on 13th August on our last weekend? We leave on the 15th.
> 
> It's high time the daughter experienced a big, live music concert!


Salisbury isn't too far

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## Mendip

^ And you've just reminded me to put Stonehenge on the list! 





> Ive got a Rav 4 sat on my drive doing nothing, yours for £1500 and you can flog before you leave, winner winner chicken dinner. PM me for details, trouble is it's in Manchester.


It's not the car you use for dogging is it? If so, get it valeted first please.

That's a kind offer Joe but it's a lot of faff to buy and sell a car for a holiday, not to mention tax and insurance. I'm hoping to borrow this other RAV 4 for free as usual, and just give a bottle of duty free malt as a thank you!

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## Edmond

Great stuff Mendo.  :Yup:   :tumbs: 




> So this is now definitely happening and the daughter's getting excited.


Not sure if you've ever taken her out of the country without her mother before, if not, just be aware that you need a Thai document from her Thai mother giving you legal permission to take her out of Thailand, without it the child won't be getting anywhere near the plane.

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## Mendip

^ I've prepared a letter giving me permission to take my daughter out of the country which will be signed by the wife, along with signed scans of ID cards, marriage cert, house book etc. The letter is in English.

Is this a certain document you speak of, and if so, could you please give me a pointer?

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## Edmond

> The letter is in English.


Well, that's not much good for taking them out of Thailand.






> Is this a certain document you speak of


It is.




> and if so, could you please give me a pointer?


I can.

It's a travel consent for minors letter that your local amphur would set up. They will stamp it with the details of all. Likely that all 3 parties will need to be there in person, and will likely need to be the amphur office in the district the kid is registered in. The mother will need to sign the birth cert etc copies.

It's pretty much a global thing, not a Thai only thing, due to child trafficking and parental kidnapping.

----------


## Edmond

> It's pretty much a global thing


Get permission to take a child abroad - GOV.UK

----------


## Mendip

^^ Excellent, thank you. This is what a forum's all about, you may have averted a disaster here.

I'll get the wife to investigate at the Amphur office in Korat next week so we know what to do when I get back.

----------


## hallelujah

Thanks for the tips, Mendip. I've just spent an hour trying to upload a few pics of my recent trip to the home of history, culture, great sports and fine food  :Smile:  (including the tips you gave me for Wells and Cheddar) before being kicked out and losing all the pics  :ssssh: , so, having lost patience with the fucking thing, I'll just stick a few up as a taster for the board for what's coming with your trip. I wouldn't wanna steal your thunder anyway  :Smile: .

Salisbury (no Russian poisonings reported although the taxi driver did point out the house on the way to Stonehenge):









A few TDers turned up for St George's Day and this was snubby and Chits arguing whether to have hot dogs or beans on toast; snubby won the day.



I'm pretty sure that if you had asked every single morris dancer which team they supported, their answer would have been Arsenal. What an odd bunch.



By midday, I had other things on my mind.



I think the furniture dates back to this period too.



Having Winston looking down on you is quite disconcerting. Even the American couple sitting next to us felt obliged to up their game from soft drinks to the hard stuff.



The hotel was actually a pub so it was here that I retired to with the football on for the rest of the and my missus enjoying pissing our pounds away on the fruit machine.


Stonehenge. 

Through the countryside to the rocks (only a few of these because nobody is interested in rocks, right?  :Smile: ) and then onto Baf (or Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarth if you have a plum in your mouth).







I stayed in similar places on Koh Chang for 200 baht a night 15 years ago and I dare say it was preferable to my mate's feet in this hut 5000 years ago.



It's a bus ride from the centre and the museum to the main attraction. In keeping with the theme of temples - my body obviously being one- we decided to walk through the countryside to get there before taking a bus back.

----------


## malmomike77

Hallelujah

----------


## Joe 90

Cool pics Hal.

Shame about the piss up.in town, next time.

I've never been asked for permission to travel and parental responsibility etc when abroad with my children.

They just take one look at us and wave us through,  don't need the hassle I guess :Smile: 

We've gone through dozens of passport controls over the years in many different countries without the ex in tow

----------


## Joe 90

> It's not the car you use for dogging is it? If so, get it valeted first please.


It comes with a free packet of wet wipes :sexy:

----------


## malmomike77

Didn't spot you'd been in teh Haunch, great little place, tiny public bar - summer time you place your order and cash along a line and your beer comes beck outside with change - mostly  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

And then to Baf and Wells (the undoubted star of the show). If you lot had a proper football team or two down here, I would have heard of it before!  :Smile: 

Bath was absolutely packed with tourists (mostly American and Asian) and had prices to match. I fucking hated Jane Austen when I was at college doing my A Levels (I found out on this trip that she was actually born in Basingstoke) and still have nightmares of English Literature, so it was just the one night there and then I was Darren Gough.

6 pounds 50 for a pint of Uri! What the fuck?



13 quid for a fucking green salad! What the fucking fuck?



Ended up settling on some fine Brixham crab salad and Great British fishcakes. Obviously, nothing but the best in the greatest country on earth.  :St George:   :UK: 





And ended up having quite a few more beers before fancying this later on. Bath chaps? Sounds likea bit of swordfighting going on in the toilets with the boarding school boys. 



They weren't serving until later though, by which time we ended up having a booze and some nuts that probably cost about a fiver. I was half cut by then anyway.







Dil has put his house up for sale.



I actually took these for snubby. How sad is that?



Imagine a whole cake made of cheese though?  :tumbs: 



And then it was off to Wells.

----------


## Joe 90

> Dil has put his house up for sale


He's not slumming it in boyztown anymore :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> 6 pounds 50 for a pint of Uri! What the fuck?


you been right tucked up you wanker, load of places you can get a decent pint for less that £4 - norvern minkey..

Should have stopped at Schwartz Bros for a 1/2 lb blue cheese burger on Walcott St or near the Theatre Royal

----------


## malmomike77

Mendip, you are in Dorset the Abbotsbury Swannery is a rare sight for mini, summer will be full of young swans, there is an Oyster place on teh shingle bank that does stunning Oysters raised there.

https://abbotsbury-tourism.co.uk/swannery/

seems Abbotsbury Oysters is now called The Crab House, still was great in 2001, still looks good but they literally only did oysters back then, and you walked in to see them being clean in a UV tank

Menu - The Crab House Cafe

----------


## hallelujah

> Didn't spot you'd been in teh Haunch, great little place, tiny public bar - summer time you place your order and cash along a line and your beer comes beck outside with change - mostly


You're from Salisbury, aren't you? I loved the place. Beautiful, and the accents had me chuckling as soon as I got off the train. 

The barman in the Haunch was surprisingly friendly and there were quite a few locals sat around. I thought it would be tourist hell.

We went there for a couple early afternoon and then finished the night with a choice between...





...nah, not really. It was only ever going one way.  :Smile: 








80-odd quid or something and I didn't even touch my jhlafrezi until the next day.  :Smile: 

I nailed 6 curries in 16 days. Not bad going, but a couple of nights I opted for chippy tea instead, so I I think I could have actually made more of my time and really made the most of our classic British fare.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> You're from Salisbury, aren't you? I loved the place. Beautiful, and the accents had me chuckling as soon as I got off the train.
> 
> The barman in the Haunch was surprisingly friendly and there were quite a few locals sat around. I thought it would be tourist hell.


Noooo, further norf but we'd have the odd night in Salisbury, you should have popped into Wilton and you and your Mrs could have got carpet burn on some proper posh pile.

You should have let me and Mendip know you were down there, we could have pointed you at some gems, and saved you a few bob.

----------


## hallelujah

> you been right tucked up you wanker, load of places you can get a decent pint for less that 4 - norvern minkey..
> 
> Should have stopped at Schwartz Bros for a 1/2 lb blue cheese burger on Walcott St or near the Theatre Royal


I ate so much fucking food while I was there it was untrue, but you can never quite get enough when it's British, can you? Did you see that in the paper recently which pointed out that the first hamburger ever eaten was actually in Birmingham? Apparently, that's where it got its name from, so it turns out that the seppos have nicked it from us.  :St George: 

I get so angry when people appropriate traditional British food like Indians and Bangladeshis, and now I've found out the bloody yanks have been doing the same.  :ssssh:

----------


## hallelujah

> Cool pics Hal.
> 
> Shame about the piss up.in town, next time.


Yep, as i said at the time, had it not been for the bloody cider getting in the way, I'd have been there!

----------


## malmomike77

^^ there is no point going over this again, you'll just encourage a load of angry Mercans claiming we are appropriating their cultural icons.

----------


## malmomike77

> had it not been for the bloody cider getting in the way, I'd have been there!


did you have the real thing, it ain't fizzy and only comes in medium sweet, medium or dry and you can't see your Mrs through the glass, in fact you won't see much after 5-6 pints

----------


## Joe 90

> did you have the real thing, it ain't fizzy and only comes in medium sweet, medium or dry and you can't see your Mrs through the glass, in fact you won't see much after 5-6 pints


My teeth are aching at the thought,  do you get the complimentary straw in the pint? I mean hay straw and the fresh aroma of rat..

----------


## Joe 90

> ^^ there is no point going over this again, you'll just encourage a load of angry Mercans claiming we are appropriating their cultural icons.


We all know American has no food history :UK:  ::spin::

----------


## malmomike77

> My teeth are aching at the thought,  do you get the complimentary straw in the pint? I mean hay straw and the fresh aroma of rat..



no added ingredients in real cider, no yeast or sugar just apple juice - due to the rural surroundings it has been said that some foreign matter occasionally finds its way into the brew but frankly that will only be corroborated by a practiced pathologist

----------


## hallelujah

Anyway, finally. Wells!

But first another British classics: Greggs. 

Get your tissues out armstrong. 



Can anyone guess the choice of pasties? 

Now, Wells. Where were we?

What a beautiful place and people playing croquet on the lawn.

People playing croquet!

People. Playing. Croquet. Let that sink in for a minute. The only time people in Manchester use bats and mallets are for armed robberies.







A slice of cake on the lawn old chap?



Don't mind if I do dear boy (Great British cake, of course. Nothing but the best  :UK: ).

But, yeah, Wells was a bit special.

Young tories making their way past the cathedral from the countless private schools around the city
























And, of course, a pub 





This forum is absolutely fucking shite for posting pics.  :ssssh:

----------


## hallelujah

> did you have the real thing, it ain't fizzy and only comes in medium sweet, medium or dry and you can't see your Mrs through the glass, in fact you won't see much after 5-6 pints


Wait until you see my pictures tomorrow from Cheddar. 6.5%. I was rocking after 2.

----------


## malmomike77

> Wait until you see my pictures tomorrow from Cheddar. 6.5%. I was rocking after 2.


They measured it! i'd say that's light and not being funny - cider is weird stuff, you could drink the equivalent % beer or lager but with cider it seems to knock the fuk out of you, doesn't taste strong either - deadly.

----------


## hallelujah

> They measured it! i'd say that's light and not being funny - cider is weird stuff, you could drink the equivalent % beer or lager but with cider it seems to knock the fuk out of you, doesn't taste strong either - deadly.


Here you go.

----------


## malmomike77

> And, of course, a pub


Those are Alms houses for the poor.

----------


## Joe 90

> Can anyone guess the choice of pasties?


You can tell by the markings on the pasties. 
Every Gregg's pastie has individual markings on the crust.

greggs pasties patterns - Google Search

----------


## malmomike77

> Here you go.


Cheddar Ales? Cider? orange in cider usually means sweet or medium sweet, wtf has it got a head?  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> You can tell by the markings on the pasties.


They aint pasties, Greggs are cvnts or eaten by them never decided which.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> They measured it! i'd say that's light and not being funny - cider is weird stuff, you could drink the equivalent % beer or lager but with cider it seems to knock the fuk out of you, doesn't taste strong either - deadly.


Indeed, last time I drunk it was over 20 years ago. 
Scary stuff and worst than sangsom!
Not a bad idea for a thread!

Experiences on cider  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Joe 90

> They aint pasties, Greggs are cvnts or eaten by them never decided which.


A coffee and a steak bake for a couple of quid, I'm a cvnt :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Cheddar Ales? Cider? orange in cider usually means sweet or medium sweet, wtf has it got a head?


It didn't have one for long.



Ooops. I tell a lie. It was "only" 6%.

He gave me an actual Thatchers glass for the 2nd one. I was struggling after the 3rd so went on normal Thatchers.

----------


## malmomike77

> steak bake


bake, there you go. Greggs is Norvern and pasties are sacred southern food that only the train in the C19th allowed minkies to discover.

----------


## hallelujah

> You should have let me and Mendip know you were down there, we could have pointed you at some gems, and saved you a few bob.


I PMd Mendip before I went and he recommended Wells when I was asking him about Cheddar from Baf.

----------


## hallelujah

> You can tell by the markings on the pasties. 
> Every Gregg's pastie has individual markings on the crust.
> 
> greggs pasties patterns - Google Search


Go on then, what are they?  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Go on then, what are they?


It's too late and I'm too pissed to identify your northern pasties.

At a guess I'd  say camel and paxo stuffing.
Also Moroccan goat curry and garden peas :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

The UK is beautiful for those 3 days a year when it's warm and sunny.

----------


## Joe 90

> The UK is beautiful for those 3 days a year when it's warm and sunny.


 :smiley laughing: 

You're not fvcking wrong!

Fortunately we have a few months to rejoice,  fvck October till april!

----------


## Edmond

Lovely Hal.

It's a shame that by the time Mendo comes back to post up his pics TD won't exist.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> He gave me an actual Thatchers glass for the 2nd one. I was struggling after the 3rd so went on normal Thatchers.


Great stuff Hal, I hope you enjoyed the West country!

Which Cheddar pub did you drink that pint of cider in? The Bath Arms? The White Hart? I hope you pocketed that that Thatchers glass!

One of my sisters lives in Wells... her daughter had a scholarship at Wells Cathedral School for playing the violin. She's at the Royal College of Music in Kensington now and I have high hopes that she'll be able to get me and my daughter to the Natural History Museum and show me how to get on a tube train.

By the way, the sister in Wells does a bedroom on Airbnb... I should have mentioned it. She loves to rip off northerners.

This thread has made 5 pages and I haven't even packed my bags yet! I don't even leave for another 7 weeks so long as I can find Edmond's permission form in Korat, or else it'll be Hal's oddysey instead.

Today I will continue to try and trace my car contact.

----------


## hallelujah

> The UK is beautiful for those 3 days a year when it's warm and sunny.


Yep. We got very lucky with the weather though and I actually manage to get sunburnt- in April!




> Great stuff Hal, I hope you enjoyed the West country!
> 
> Which Cheddar pub did you drink that pint of cider in? The Bath Arms? The White Hart? I hope you pocketed that that Thatchers glass!
> 
> One of my sisters lives in Wells... her daughter had a scholarship at Wells Cathedral School for playing the violin. She's at the Royal College of Music in Kensington now and I have high hopes that she'll be able to get me and my daughter to the Natural History Museum and show me how to get on a tube train.
> 
> By the way, the sister in Wells does a bedroom on Airbnb... I should have mentioned it. She loves to rip off northerners.
> 
> This thread has made 5 pages and I haven't even packed my bags yet! I don't even leave for another 7 weeks so long as I can find Edmond's permission form in Korat, or else it'll be Hal's oddysey instead.
> ...


The Bath Arms where we also happened to have some of the best pub food I've had in years! I took a few pictures for you, but as it took me almost 3 hours to upload that lot last night, it will be later before I add the final chapter from your old stomping ground (and maybe a couple more from oop norf!)

----------


## Mendip

A mate of mine used to live in Cheddar and I've had many a pint in the Bath Arms.





> The UK is beautiful for those 3 days a year when it's warm and sunny.


Yeah... while it's great that Hal had such good weather it pisses me off slightly cos I can't see it lasting until July.

----------


## malmomike77

> and I have high hopes that she'll be able to get me and my daughter to the Natural History Museum and show me how to get on a tube train.


Mendip this is quite a good map that allows you to search for attractions and shows them and you can find the nearest tube station along with the map to see how to get from the station to the attraction

https://www.city-walks.info/London-en/Map.html

For your phone the Transport For London App is really good for journeys, well when i said for you i meant for Mini on her phone

TfL Go app - Maps, routes and more to plan your journey - Transport for London

----------


## hallelujah

> A mate of mine used to live in Cheddar and I've had many a pint in the Bath Arms.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah... while it's great that Hal had such good weather it pisses me off slightly cos I can't see it lasting until July.


Yeah, but my passport doesn't need renewing via Nana, sorry, Bangkok, and the Sun has promised everyone a great summer for the Queen's something or other this year, so the little green man monster needn't rear its head just yet.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^

Thanks again Mike, and for your advice about Dorset above.

I'll have to study everything properly a bit later... I've suddenly got very busy at work today and I'm struggling to give this thread the attention it deserves.

----------


## hallelujah

> ^^
> 
> I'll have to study everything properly a bit later... I've suddenly got very busy at work today and I'm struggling to give this thread the attention it deserves.


 :rofl: 

By the way, Mendip (my lips are sealed from now on about passport renewals  :Smile: ), I don't know if you've sorted digs out for London yet (seemingly not), but I got this Travelodge at Kings Cross for 52 quid a night! Five minutes from the station, so it's brilliant for getting around and seeing the sights with the little 'un. Check their website for more locations too.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Today's task is to secure transport. The guy I usually borrow a car from isn't answering his phone




If you have no luck with the motor, mate- I have a senior citizens bus pass I forgot to hand in to Lost Property.
If you grow back the moustache you'd carry it off :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> The UK is beautiful for those 3 days a year when it's warm and sunny.


Shivering on the beach is a family bonding excersise. Once in their teens the excitement does wane a tad.

----------


## Mendip

> Not sure if you've ever taken her out of the country without her mother before, if not, just be aware that you need a Thai document from her Thai mother giving you legal permission to take her out of Thailand, without it the child won't be getting anywhere near the plane.


I've been on to the wife about this Ed and she's been in to the Amphur offices in Korat and found out where to go and what to do. We can sort this out when I get home, no problem.

Many thanks for the tip.





> By the way, Mendip (my lips are sealed from now on about passport renewals )


I was sending the wife copies of our daughter's passports today to prepare for Ed's document and as luck would have it, discovered that the her UK passport is up for renewal next year!

Two more trips to Bangkok... it just never ends.

----------


## Edmond

> Many thanks for the tip.


Nothing says thank you like duty free booze and a warm oil back rub.

----------


## Mendip

^ Send me your address... I'll send the gardener up. 

He has good hands.

----------


## Edmond

> Send me your address


I'm not falling for that dill again. 


_I'll send you up some creatine_, 'e said.

----------


## Mendip

Things are moving along nicely. It's only about 5 weeks until we leave for the UK.

I still haven't got the car organised... it's now been over three weeks that my car guy hasn't answered his phone and I'm starting to wonder if he's avoiding me, but I'm sure I can sort something out.

An old mate with a son my daughter's age may be joining us for the HMS Victory trip, with maybe an overnight to include a trip to Porchester Castle and a hovercraft ride over to the Isle of Wight.

KLM, the bastards, keep sending me emails to say that this or that flight has been cancelled and re-scheduled. I've never had anything like this before.

Today they said that our return leg Bristol to Amsterdam flight in August has been cancelled. Now, instead of leaving BRS at 17:30 with a 1 hour connection for the BKK flight, we leave at 09:10 with an 8 hour connection, They seem to have cancelled all Cityhopper flights after the 09:10 flight... only two a day now, the red eye and ours... there used to be five a day from Bristol to Amsterdam. What's going on?

Also I was very worried to see this...


_   A retired British geologist has been jailed for 15 years for attempting to remove artefacts from Iraq.

  Jim Fitton, 66, who is originally from Bath, collected 12 stones and shards of broken pottery during a recent geology and archaeology tour of the country.   
_
British geologist jailed in Iraq after taking artefacts - BBC News


I was hoping to chip off a piece of Stonehenge for my collection during this trip but may have to rethink things.

----------


## hallelujah

I don't understand why you're flying from Bristol and having to endure limited flights and KLM.

Why not fly from Birmingham (or London) and use the Middle Eastern airlines (or choose from countless others)?

Is KLM cutlery _that_ special?

Mind you, an 8 hour stopover in Amsterdam? My oh my! The passport processing centres there are something else!

----------


## Mendip

^ It's already booked and my mum lives 15 minutes from Bristol airport.

It's not about the cutlery, KLM has been plastic for years. It's about avoiding LHR and the hassle of getting between there and Somerset. It was all good until they've started cancelling flights. I can get a refund and book again... but you know... just can't be arsed.

I may well take a trip into Amsterdam on the way back to kill a bit of time... with my young daughter.

----------


## hallelujah

> ^ It's already booked and my mum lives 15 minutes from Bristol airport.
> 
> It's not about the cutlery, KLM has been plastic for years. It's about avoiding LHR and the hassle of getting between there and Somerset. It was all good until they've started cancelling flights. I can get a refund and book again... but you know... just can't be arsed.
> 
> I may well take a trip into Amsterdam on the way back to kill a bit of time... with my young daughter.


If you did something similar in the future (hopefully your old dear will be around for a few years yet), maybe you could factor in London before you fly back instead of at the start? Perhaps do a loop up norf via Chitty's garden shed and then back down the M1 so you can have a few nights in Dil's dogging wagon.  :Smile: 

PS. I believe Amsterdam has some of the best childcare facilities in the world...

----------


## Edmond

> a hovercraft ride over to the Isle of Wight.


Do this. 

The kid will remember it forever.

I vividly remember getting a helicopter ride (not a tourist paid one) as an 11 yr old through a parent's business partner that had one scheduled. It's a big deal for a kid. Wouldn't go on one know mind. As they say, a plane with no engine will usually glide down, a helicopter drops like a shithouse brick.







> I was hoping to chip off a piece of Stonehenge for my collection during this trip but may have to rethink things.


I wouldn't fear. It was only built 100 years ago. 








Interesting story.




> *The Man Who Bought Stonehenge*
> 
> In 1915, Cecil Chubb went to an auction to buy some dining chairs but returned home with the ultimate impulse buyStonehenge.
> 
> Like most of the bargain-hunters who packed the Palace Theatre in Salisbury, England, on the afternoon of September 21, 1915, Cecil Chubb was looking for a deal. Legend says the wealthy 39-year-old lawyer had been dispatched by his wife to purchase a set of dining chairs, but that all changed when auctioneer Howard Frank announced lot number 15Stonehenge with about 30 acres, 2 rods, 37 perches of adjoining downland.
> 
> The Man Who Bought Stonehenge - HISTORY

----------


## DrWilly

> PS. I believe Amsterdam has some of the best childcare facilities in the world...


Leave her at the airport with the factotum to watch her.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Yeah Hal, but will Chitty's shed still be standing in a year's time?

Dill's '_dogging wagon_'? Are all you northerners so depraved?


^^ Interesting Ed. I visited Stonehenge as a kid with my parents and remember clambering about on the stones. If only I'd had me geological hammer on me back then! I believe that you can't get near them any more. 

A chunk of Stonehenge would go great with my piece of Ayers Rock at home. And that was loose... it just came off in my hand, before anyone accuses me of archaeological vandalism.

The factotum will be at home with the wife... he has to stay home to make this all possible!

----------


## DrWilly

> with my piece of Ayers Rock at home



You thieving pikey!!!

----------


## Edmond

> Ayers Rock


Uluru.


Local legends say that those that taketh the rocks, be cursed with two of the following. Bad marriage. Infinite slimness. Biological weapon toes.

----------


## Mendip

Bugger... that explains my inability to put on weight.

If only I'd known.

----------


## Joe 90

> but will Chitty's shed still be standing in a year's time?


It survived the Winter relatively unscathed apart from a few puke piles from parties.






> Are all you northerners so depraved?


Depends on the level of depravity,  but pretty much yes.

When you get oop norf I'll introduce you to the Wednesday night Trafford Park Lorry Drivers dogging association club.
Dills a fully paid up.member.






> A chunk of Stonehenge would go great with my piece of Ayers Rock at home. And that was loose... it just came off in my hand,


Save it for the judge!

I've got a few nice rock samples up for sale if you're interested?

One from the top of my Snowdon 

And one from acquired from the local natural history museum,  part of an asteroid I believe. 
There's a bit of moon rock in there as well but the security on that is a bit much.

----------


## david44

HARDLY BE FER ME TO MENTION 

odd ESSAY SPLL INK THESE CONSONANTAL DRIFTS BUT








> Uluru.


OF COURSE FROM ULURU ROCKS TO LULU COCKS JUST SLIP OF THE TONGUE

IN THE THOUGHTS OF CHAIRMAN MAO'S LIL RED DICK OF THE DEMIedMONDE

ANYWAY NICE TO SEE CY'S TRAINEE PREFECTS ALMOST READY FOR TEH FORUMS DEMISE EH

----------


## Joe 90

Fvcking hell David!

You're gonna give Ciz an aneurysm when he sees that post! :smiley laughing:

----------


## Neverna

> I don't know if you've sorted digs out for London yet (seemingly not), but I got this Travelodge at Kings Cross for 52 quid a night! Five minutes from the station, so it's brilliant for getting around and seeing the sights with the little 'un. Check their website for more locations too.


I stayed in that one about 10 years ago. The sausages for breakfast were fantastic. The best I've ever eaten anywhere.

----------


## DrWilly

> but I got this Travelodge at Kings Cross for 52 quid a night! Five minutes from the station, so it's brilliant for getting around and seeing the sights with the little 'un. Check their website for more locations too.



that's a damn good price. green owed.

----------


## reinvented

was that the short time price?

----------


## Mendip

> I've got a few nice rock samples up for sale if you're interested?
> 
> One from the top of my Snowdon 
> 
> And one from acquired from the local natural history museum,  part of an asteroid I believe.


Is your Snowdon the same as everyone else's? If so, I'm interested. That asteroid sounds good as well.





> I stayed in that one about 10 years ago. The sausages for breakfast were fantastic. The best I've ever eaten anywhere.


How can I ignore an endorsement like that? We'll also be heading to Bonecollector's Regency Cafe for a full English, but you can't eat too many sausages, I reckon.

I'll check out that Travelodge.


It's amazing what you can learn while listening to Radio 5. Something else has gone on my list for Somerset...

*Somerset firm launches new Marmite Cheddar cheese*

Ilchester Cheese, based in Ilchester near Yeovil, has joined forces with the nation's beloved yeast spread to create a savoury taste sensation to celebrate its 60th birthday.



Somerset firm launches new Marmite Cheddar cheese - Somerset Live

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ I'd imagine that's what Ass to mouthing would probably taste like.

You still up for a bit of cave exploration?


Had my maiden voyage yesterday.

Banked it, got the middle rope caught in the propellor, dropped the padlock in the canal and my youngest son smashed it at about 8mph into a parked barge whilst I was in the toilet Then the fucker ran to the front of the boat and left me to feel the wrath of the old woman who was on tgat barge and her chants of 'you're drunk' and something about reporting me whilst we raced away at 5mph  slowly but surely outpacing the finger pointing hag.

A good day out :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^ Did you buy it? or is it a rental

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Day rental. 144 quid I think it cost. Didn't do any locks. A few  nice country pubs on the route

I wouldn't fancy living on one full time. There's some right bedraggled  characters out there that do.

----------


## malmomike77

^Not a bad rate. i came close to buying one last year, not to live on full time but then thought it'll just end up an albatross. Its a great holiday though. Go to a pub lunchtime for a couple and then get a carry keg for the afternoon cruise. Moor up about 4 pm and fire the BBQ up and then up the pub for a few in the evening. I have fallen in a few times trying to get back on board after a long darts sesh up a canalside pub in the evening. Great fun though at 4mph its really relaxing.

----------


## Mendip

^ It all sounds pretty idyllic!

I could handle 3 or 4 days of that. Do those boats have toilets?

Are 11 year-old daughters allowed to man the boats while fathers get sloshed?

My only real problem is that cider. I'm more of a traditionalist and will have to visit the Thatchers shop first.

----------


## bsnub

> Are 11 year-old daughters allowed to man the boats while fathers get sloshed?


You are talking about Dilly, so the answer is of course. 

 :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> I could handle 3 or 4 days of that. Do those boats have toilets?
> 
> Are 11 year-old daughters allowed to man the boats while fathers get sloshed?


yes and yes, i first drove one at 9 years old  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> It all sounds pretty idyllic!


I thought you'd be fed up of boats now :Smile: 





> I could handle 3 or 4 days of that. Do those boats have toilets?


Yeah, that was just a small boat, no bedroom on it, just a lounge, kitchen and bog which has a hidden foot flush on the side of the basin.





> Are 11 year-old daughters allowed to man the boats while fathers get sloshed?


I have  an 18 year old skipper. He drove it mostly yesterday very well until the crash. I'm sure he'll learn from that and his confidence won't be totally shattered :Smile: 






> My only real problem is that cider. I'm more of a traditionalist and will have to visit the Thatchers shop first


I thought you loved a nice  Dickens Cider on your travels :Smile: 
That blood orange one tastes like sick.

----------


## Mendip

In between work today I've been busy planning our oddysey and things are coming along nicely.

I'm more of an analogue kind of guy so printed myself off a calendar so can start inking in our itinerary. I'm already getting frustrated by, 'oh maybe we can, but I don't know about work', etc etc, but bollocks to that... I've decided to take the bull by the horns and just book stuff up and see what happens. If I wait for everyone to decide what they can or can't do, me and the daughter will spend five weeks hanging about doing nothing. I've been there before.

So, this is where we're at. Sometimes I think if I had my time again I would be a wedding planner.



There's still a few blank squares that I'm eager to fill in. I'm currently trying to narrow down 3 or 4 days in London with a couple of colleagues who both have offshore rotas to work around, but that leg is looking like end of July some time.

So, Reg Dingle, how about it? I'm packing me Captain's hat anyway. The daughters used to be Roblox friends, I reckon they can organise stuff if they make contact? Mines still on the same username.




> Yeah, that was just a small boat, no bedroom on it, just a lounge, kitchen and bog...


You obviously need some tuition... how about cabin, mess, galley and heads for starters? A two cabin barge? You bring your airfryer, I'll bring some proper cider! I can take care of any nautical stuff if you can be interpreter, I now they speak funny around your way.


I'm also keen to experience some proper northern culture. 




> When you get oop norf I'll introduce you to the Wednesday night Trafford Park Lorry Drivers dogging association club.
> Dills a fully paid up.member.


I've got at least three Wednesdays free, but the problem is Joe I'm still having trouble securing my RAV4, the guy just isn't answering his phone. Will my mum's 14 year-old Renault Megane be acceptable or will I need something with a bit more room, if you know what I mean? I don't really want to mess up her seats either.

----------


## malmomike77

> I'm more of an analogue kind of guy so printed myself off a calendar


stamp on that shit, you need supercal...erm Excel dates, days, costs and totals. You've had dates for the wurzels, ashton gate balloons and the trans wedding makeup fest and they aren't in your boxes.

----------


## DrWilly

> stamp on that shit, you need supercal...erm Excel dates, days, costs and totals. You've had dates for the wurzels, ashton gate balloons and the trans wedding makeup fest and they aren't in your boxes.


Google calendar will sort that shit out

----------


## malmomike77

^ its won't add up the cost of your holiday

----------


## DrWilly

> ^ its won't add up the cost of your holiday


He probably didn't want to know. I just took the family to the US. It hurt.

----------


## Joe 90

> I wouldn't fancy living on one full time. There's some right bedraggled characters out there that do


Imagine living on one in winter when the canals are frozen, no wonder they all look haggard.

No Bill's or council tax to pay though.

Just the annual  mooring fees and the cost of 6 litres of frosty jack every day.

----------


## Joe 90

> I've got at least three Wednesdays free, but the problem is Joe I'm still having trouble securing my RAV4, the guy just isn't answering his phone. Will my mum's 14 year-old Renault Megane be acceptable or will I need something with a bit more room, if you know what I mean? I don't really want to mess up her seats either.


Unfortunately my old rav4 is in the ownership now of some Romanian scrappers from Dagenham.

At the end of the day it's not about what your driving it's about what your packing so don't forget your wet wipes when you meet up with the Dingler :smiley laughing:

----------


## DrWilly

> No Bill's or council tax to pay though.


Do you think?

Drinking water, sewerage, rubbish disposal, power, maintenance, insurance, licensing in addition to your mooring fees.

----------


## MarilynMonroe

Enjoy the trip with your daughter, Mendip.  

I thoroughly enjoyed taking a gondola type boat ride along the Cambridge canals when I was in England. 
Just a suggestion. I know you mentioned Oxford.

I have a friend that owns a house south of London that wants me to visit, so this could give me some inspiration. Enjoy!

----------


## Mendip

> I thoroughly enjoyed taking a gondola type boat ride along the Cambridge canals when I was in England.


Yeah, but I bet you didn't have Reg Dingle cramping your style...


Today's stuff nearly went into the Daily Moan thread, because it is a big moan, but I also had a breakfast and didn't know what to do.

In the end I decided that getting back home from work to pick up the daughter is all part of our oddysey, so I'm using it as a kind of 'one size fits all'.

I finished up work on Sunday so I could have relaxing trip back to Thailand, a couple of days in Bangkok and then up the road to Korat on Friday to get re-acquainted with the dogs and then meet up with my Welsh mate for a few beers. Flights are really busy at the moment and the connections weren't great, but what's 24 hours out of your life?

I left my hotel on the west coast of Norway around 10am to get to the local airport for my feeder flight to Oslo. No problem and arrived at Oslo around 12:30pm, ready for a long wait for my 18:55 Lufthansa flight to Munich. It was immediately noticeable that all Lufthansa flights had a small delay... and soon the Munich flight also had a 20 minute delay announce on the board.

I headed to the gate early out of boredom and then proceeded to watch regular delays come up on the board...



No personnel there of course to explain anything, just delays. In started to get a bit worried about my 22:45 from Munich to Bangkok.

This put paid to any chance of that... and we eventually departed at 21:50 with the assurance from the one Lufthansa person (dealing with a plane load of missed connections) that everything would be explained on the flight and sorted out at MUC.



The Storbaelt Bridge en-route...



There was an announcement on the flight explaining all re-bookings... including the mention that Bangkok bound suckers ad been re-booked on the Thai Airways flight the next afternoon, or for some poor bastards, the same Lufthansa 22:45 on the following evening. We were told to head to the Service Centre for re-bookings and hotel bookings.

On arrival at the Service Centre... it was shut. As they were closing they shouted to us to book our own hotels and charge it back... and sort out the new flights in the morning. Is it just Lufthansa who are so bad or are they all the same now? In 30 odd years or regular flying this was a new low for me. A delay I accept, the occasional night in a hotel... but there's always been some support.

A few people were receiving emails from Lufthansa with new flight details... but not I. By now I had a couple of friends... a Thai lady with no English but good Norwegian and a slightly simple Norwegian who, it must be said, had impeccable English. I decided to find a hotel (it was now around midnight) so headed off to the taxi rank, followed by my new friends. 'Sten' wanted to find a shuttle bus into town and look for a hotel... but I decided to find a reasonably priced place on Booking.com and get a taxi to take me there... well 'us'. I paid for the taxi... it will be on either Lufthansa or work anyway, and besides, Sten was offering the driver Thai Baht. I checked us in the three rooms I'd booked and Sten and Pon paid independently... all good. By this time Sten had had an email from Lufthansa telling him he was re-booked on the 22:45 flight to BKK... but Pon and meself had nothing... which gave me hopes that we were on the lunchtime Thai flight.

I said we would meet up at breakfast and head back to the airport around 10am to sort shit out. I was knackered, pissed off and had no bag. I needed a shower and some sleep. 

In the morning I experienced a German breakfast.



Apart from that anaemic looking thing in the middle it was OK... but no beans and I couldn't even find any tomato sauce. The thin sausages were almost like proper English ones.



The seating girl at breakfast was very jolly, so I gave her my bottle of gin and bottle of Jador duty free... to save giving the security at MUC the pleasure of confiscating it. No way would that be allowed back through security after leaving the airport. Maybe I can back-charge that to Lufthansa as well?

Some wall-art in the hotel. I thought about a pair of these for the garden but I have my standards.



After breakfast Pon and I caught a taxi back to the airport. The driver asked which Terminal I wanted... to which I answered, "I don't know". So he asked who we were flying with... to which I also answered "I don't know". We decided on Terminal 2 which covered Thai and Lufthansa... although I was very much hoping it wouldn't be the night Lufthansa flight after arriving at the airport in the morning.



On arrival I headed to the Thai desk, but alas they hadn't heard of me, well, us. So it was off to the Lufthansa Service desk to find which flight we had been re-booked on. I say 'we' because meself and Pon have become travelling companions... despite only communicating via my smattering or Norwegian and even less Thai we seem to get along quite well. And to be honest she would have been well buggered if I hadn't helped her along... not being boastful but she didn't have a clue what to do and Lufthansa have been absolutely appalling.

Anyway, the Service Centre informed us that we hadn't been booked on any new flights because they were all busy today. I think the guy saw me starting to fizz as he went back to his keyboard, furiously banging away.... and found 'us' spaces on Emirates via Dubai. We had to head across to Terminal 1 to the Emirates office to sort out where our luggage has got to, but no worries, we were finally getting somewhere.

Reg Dingle was flying his new plane in the courtyard.



After a chat at the Emirates office we were assured that our luggage was located and tagged for Bangkok via Dubai. I kind of trust Emirates... I will no longer believe a word from Lufthansa. There's Pon in her baseball cap... it's really useful to have a travel companion to watch my bag during toilet calls.



And that's it. I have asked work never to fly me on Lufthansa again and will look into what I can claim. I appreciate that delays happen but their support has been absolutely non-existent. Shocking, in fact. I though the Germans were supposed to be good at this stuff?

Anyway, after security most people turn left through some automatic passport control gates, but of course EU types had to traipse about 15 miles to find the manned immigration booths. Thanks Boris, ya tosser... but at least it meant Pon had me to show her the way.



So yes, I am now 28 hours into my travels and still have two long haul flights to go. I'm pissed off, stinking and aching with tiredness. I'm just too old for this shit. Oh, and hungry as well. A spot of lunch while waiting at the gate.



And the money shot... reminded me of Ann, a girl with razor sharp teeth I met on Phuket many years ago.



An hour to go until departure... what can possibly go wrong?

----------


## malmomike77

nightmare, you've boosted your karma helping Pon.

----------


## DrWilly

I bet he did more than 'help' Fon. Just make sure you lose her before you get home!










Sten is pissed you cock blocked him!

----------


## Mendip

^^ I may reward meself with some metal cutlery!

Boarded now and this first leg is deserted. Gin and tonics and a good sleep on the cards.

^ No need for that. This is a family thread.

Pon is married to a Norwegian and heading back to Sara Buri for her father's funeral. I've put her onto my cheap taxi man. I sadly have to remain in Bangkok for a day.

I must admit I was surprised tosee Pon's seat is just across the aisle from mine... she doesn't strike me as a drinker so will hopefully be a useful source of extra G&Ts.

----------


## malmomike77

trouble is it doesn't end when you land, you still have the arse ache of sorting out the refunds etc and i bet you don't get any compensation.

The airport chaos in the UK is still in full flow but hopefull will be mainly resolved by the time you exit the UK

----------


## DrWilly

> I sadly have to remain in Bangkok for a day.



Very sad. Very very sad. 

I cried a tear.

----------


## malmomike77

> he doesn't strike me as a drinker so will hopefully be a useful source of extra G&Ts.


get on it, weds is a quiet day so you may get a row of 4 next fight

----------


## Mendip

Already told Dubai to Bangkok is packed... couldn't even get an aisle seat...

----------


## malmomike77

fuk, oh well just endure the last leg in a pleasantly fuddled haze.

----------


## Mendip

That's the plan.  :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

> fuk, oh well just endure the last leg in a pleasantly fuddled haze.


Secondrd

----------


## Edmond

This is why I'm staying inside my house for the next 5 years, possibly 10.  :Smile:  Fok that shit. 

It's probably better that it is a work trip. Imagine it being part of your annual 2 week holiday in sunny Thailand. The first night spent in fokin' Germany trying to root a middle aged woman whose father has just died.

----------


## DrWilly

A mate of mine has just test postive for covid while transiting through Qatar...that's fuked him.

----------


## malmomike77

So much negativity on here of late  :Smile:  you lot need a karma reset

----------


## Edmond

> postive for covid while transiting through Qatar...that's fuked him.


Yeah fok that. 

Beheading or stoning?

----------


## DrWilly

> Yeah fok that. 
> 
> Beheading or stoning?


A week's stay longer than he thought. in a hotel room that's dry.

----------


## Joe 90

Don't envy you on your marathon journey home Mendip, still it'll all be worthwhile when you see your daughter and dogs.

Just think.of all those Cider and cheese tokens you've earned and to top it all you can work from home or wherever for that company in the future.

Happy Days.

----------


## Joe 90

> The first night spent in fokin' Germany trying to root a middle aged woman whose father has just died.


 :smiley laughing: 

You fooking wrongun!

You'd be all over it like a car bonnet you slagggg.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, what a sordid way to interpret our travel companionship. Two lost souls in difficult circumstances.

She's a bit old for me anyway... I reckon she must be my age.

Anyway, I'm in Dubai now sitting on the throne while Pon watches my bags. 

I anticipate arriving at my Sukhumvit hotel a little under 48 hours after I left my hotel in Haugesund on the west coast of Norway. Not the best journey I've ever had... but I got an extra day's pay out of it, I guess. I hope I feel a bit better for my medical on Thursday.

----------


## DrWilly

> Anyway, I'm in Dubai now sitting on the throne while Pon watches



Are you half German?

----------


## Joe 90

> Are you half German?


You made a joke, well done!

It wasn't that difficult or was it a fluke  :yerman:

----------


## Headworx

> I hope I feel a bit better for my medical on Thursday.


Just so you know, the staff at Doctor BJ's aren't actually Doctors. 

That mapping business you're in is your true calling in life by the looks of it!

----------


## Mendip

^ Yes, very good HW.

I've heard that Beaver Valley is a nice spot for a picnic, but you've doubtless already been there. I hope you didn't leave any litter...


Anyway, I of course got home without incident once Lufthansa offloaded me onto Emirates. A proper airline.

As for Lufthansa... it's not the delayed flight and missed connection that pisses me off so much as their (with hindsight) blatant lies. They knew that flight was delayed by at least two hours from the start, yet gradually increased the delay announcement by 20 minutes at a time. I have around 12 consecutive emails from Lufthansa announcing each delay... yet the obligatory 'How did we do?' email that every airline bombards you with after a flight these days is noticeably missing. They also lied on two occasions about having staff waiting to sort us out at Munich, and they also lied about having re-booked Bangkok bound passengers on the next day's Lufthansa flight to Bangkok (poor bastards) or the Thai Airways afternoon flight... neither myself or Pon had a re-booked flight. Lying bastards.

I don't know whether any other airline would have been better or worse these days... they all seem to treat 'customers' with utter contempt while continually whining about how bad Covid has hit them. Well, 'airlines', believe it or not Covid has hit everyone, yet we don't all dump on the people we rely on to survive. I can't do much, but at least I can tell my company to never book me on Lufthansa again. A small token but at least sometime in the future one of their flights will hopefully fly with an empty seat where I would have been sat, enduring their 'in-flight service'.

In 25 years of regularly flying between Asia and elsewhere I have missed connections back to Singapore/Bangkok on two occasions.... once with KLM when ground staff immediately sorted a hotel, all meals covered (with late check-out since my next flight was in the evening) and transport from and to the airport, and once with Ethiopian, a 'third world airline'  who organised the same for a night in Addis Ababa. All Lufthansa could muster was a trolley loaded with cartons of water and chocolate bars outside their closing Service Centre and one big sign saying 'fuck off suckers, we've had your money, you're on your own'.

I won't go on about it... at the end of the day it put me out of pocket around 400 Euros plus a day out of my life. I could easily claim it from work as travel expenses but I'll go through the protracted torture of claiming from Lufthansa since why should the company I work for pay? They will already be paying me an extra day, which I hope they can claim back somehow. 

But onward, towards my oddysey next month... my Emirates A380 to Dubai was deserted and I had 3 seats to meself. I could have had many aisle rows of 4 to myself if I wanted... the plane was less than 30% occupied.



And take heed Lufthansa and KLM, other airlines can manage to offer something other than inedible microwaved pasta slop for a meal.



Pure class... there's no mistaking the provenance of that METAL cutlery...



Sadly, the second leg from DBX to BKK was on a full and cramped Boeing 777, but the staff did their best with no blatant lies offered up, en-route.

I eventually arrived at my hotel to find that Looper had beaten me to it and spent the afternoon doing some of his dodgy DIY...



And I hoped that Ant Robertson hadn't taken my favourite room...



Everything feels better after a rest and a good feed. One reason I love coming back to Bangkok is the traditional food.

The Robin Hood take out that eternal question of whether to have an egg of a pineapple ring on your gammon steak... they offer both as part of the menu.



Money shot...



And back in my hotel room after a gammon steak and a couple of pints of Leo things don't seem so bad. Due to the packed DBX-BKK flight I was separated from the lovely Pon at Dubai, we weren't seated together and she was some rows back. I did catch sight of her across the baggage carousel at Bangkok but amazingly my bag had arrived, and amongst the first at that. I left without saying farewell... no good could come of it. Two ships adrift in the night, never to pass again.

But I did discover a couple of things about Pon on our journey. She did enjoy a glass of red wine, therefore wasn't a source of extra G&Ts on the MUC-DBX flight... but she wasn't averse to a bit of airline cutlery collecting!

This was what we in the trade call a 'three spoon trip'. Not quite the full house but a close second.



Anyway, I'm back now... let the oddysey begin!

----------


## aging one

Welcome home and if it were me I would be all over Lufthansa. I have never heard of an airline that bad and I have been flying for 67 years starting with a two propellor plane. Get on that complaint line or section. What a shit show.

----------


## katie23

Congrats on getting back to BKK, Mendip. I'll have my glass of homemade wine tonight in your honour.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yes, AO, I'll do what I can. But of course I'll run out of interest and won't have the time... this is what the airlines rely on, I guess. And at the end of the day, at some point in the future, I'll doubtlessly fly on Lufthansa again when I need to...

^ Thanks Katie, and I'll have a Ya Dong in your honour at the weekend! :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

https://www.airlinequality.com/review-pages/a-z-airline-reviews/

write a review

----------


## bsnub

> I'll have a Ya Dong in your honour at the weekend!


Or two, or three.  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Welcome back Mendo. 

I'll send Noi down to collect the 3kg of heroin.

----------


## malmomike77

> Welcome back Mendo. 
> 
> I'll send Noi down to collect the 3kg of heroin.


You'll recognise her as she's 5' 8" and 195Kgs and black as the ace of spades.

----------


## Mendip

> https://www.airlinequality.com/review-pages/a-z-airline-reviews/
> 
> write a review


Thanks AO, as you say, act while still angry.

When I get home I'll take the time to put a well crafted missive together and then send it multiple places.

----------


## Mendip

> You'll recognise her as she's 5' 8" and 195Kgs and black as the ace of spades.


I've often wondered why Ed calls 'her' Noi, to be honest.

Everyone else calls him Winston.

----------


## malmomike77

she's a squeeze through the door and a nightmare to get back through in a hurry.

----------


## armstrong

> Welcome back Mendo. 
> 
> I'll send Noi down to collect the 3kg of heroin.


Norway being well known for its Heroin farms.

----------


## Mendip

^ You may be surprised...

No farms of course, but the small west coast town I've worked in, on and off for 30 years, has a huge drug problem. At one point Haugesund had the highest number of herion users in Europe, per capita... but I have no links or evidence. Just what I hear.

Personally, I think it's down to an extremely regulated and structured upbringing, shite climate and too much available money... and of course the eye-watering cost of alcohol. 

I've never yet met a Norwegian who enjoys a quiet pint... they either drink a coke or get smashed.

----------


## Edmond

> Norway being well known for its Heroin farms.


At one point Haugesund had the highest number of herion users in Europe, per capita

----------


## armstrong

Well you learn something new every day.

----------


## armstrong

Now how do I remove that from my search history

----------


## malmomike77

^ Two joints and you'll forget all about it.

----------


## Happy As Larry

Mendip, for next time you fly Lufthansa, from today's Guardian.

Grounded! What to do in an airport if your flight is delayed by one, three, six or 12 hours | Travel | The Guardian

*Grounded! What to do in an airport if your flight is delayed by one, three, six or 12 hours*

Travel chaos is leaving many passengers stuck in departures for what seems like forever. But apart from endlessly climbing the walls what can you do to keep yourself occupied and your kids from climbing the walls?
*T*his was supposed to be a glorious summer. With Covid largely diminished, it was going to be the first year since 2019 where we would all get to pack our suitcases and jet off to warmer climes. Clearly, that hasnt happened.

There are several factors at play here. The cost-of-living crisis in the UK has put foreign travel out of the reach of many; the rail strikes have made getting to the airport more difficult; a new wave of Covid has stopped people from leaving their homes and  most importantly  airports themselves are an absolute nightmare.

Around 5,000 Heathrow passengers have had their flights cancelled as a result. Additionally, staff shortages mean that Gatwick will be running up to 50 fewer flights a day throughout the summer months, with EasyJet alone cutting 11,000 flights. And, just to make things even more interesting, British Airways check-in staff may strike next month. In other words: the chances of finding yourself stranded at the airport are impossibly high.

So, what can you do? The sensible thing would be to stay at home but, failing that, heres a handy guide to killing time at an airport.

----------


## aging one

> ^ Two joints and you'll forget all about it.


You have to get better weed mate.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> You have to get better weed mate.


well Armstrong tends to make his a month before he smokes them  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

Welcome home mendip.

----------


## Mendip

^ Thank you, Nid!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> As for Lufthansa... it's not the delayed flight and missed connection that pisses me off so much as their (with hindsight) blatant lies. They knew that flight was delayed by at least two hours from the start, yet gradually increased the delay announcement by 20 minutes at a time. I have around 12 consecutive emails from Lufthansa announcing each delay... yet the obligatory 'How did we do?' email that every airline bombards you with after a flight these days is noticeably missing. They also lied on two occasions about having staff waiting to sort us out at Munich, and they also lied about having re-booked Bangkok bound passengers on the next day's Lufthansa flight to Bangkok (poor bastards) or the Thai flight... neither myself or Pon had a re-booked flight. Lying bastards.





Is it just me, or after all his whining about Brexit, does anyone else feel a smug sense of  schadenfreude... as the Krauts call it? :Smile: 
 :UK:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Welcome home mendip.


Are you in  that Cockatoo as well? :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> ^ And take heed Lufthansa and KLM, other airlines can manage to offer something other than inedible microwaved pasta slop for a meal.
> 
> 
> 
> Pure class...!


I think i'd have opted for the meatballs with less topping

----------


## Mendip

> Is it just me, or after all his whining about Brexit, does anyone else feel a smug sense of  schadenfreude... as the Krauts call it?


scha·den·freu·de
/ˈSHädənˌfroidə/
Learn to pronounce
noun
pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune.
"a business that thrives on schadenfreude"

I've seen this word used a lot lately so decided to see what it means.

Brexit or not Reg, irrelevant to this, the airlines will fuck you over. Wait until your trip to Thailand next winter. I won't be schadenfreudering you when yer stuck at Brummie International for three days cos the baggage handlers have gone out in sympathy with the truck drivers.

Or maybe I will.

----------


## Edmond

> your trip to Thailand next winter. when yer stuck at Brummie International for three days cos the baggage handlers have gone out in sympathy with the truck drivers.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Congrats on getting back to BKK, Mendip. I'll have my glass of homemade wine tonight in your honour.


I just popped over the outdoor looking for a couple of bottles of Munich brewed Lowenbrau. :Smile:  

Loads of Polish tosh in there but nothing German... bar a fukkin 'alcoholfrei'  Erdinger. :Sad:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Brexit or not Reg, irrelevant to this, the airlines will fuck you over. Wait until your trip to Thailand next winter. I won't be schadenfreudering you when yer stuck at Brummie International for three days cos the baggage handlers have gone out in sympathy with the truck drivers.
> 
> Or maybe I will.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Anyway, I'm back now... let the oddysey begin!


Is that the  black  trio from the 70's? 

Are you trying to outdo Eddy down Soi 13? :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

Is Mendip glossing over the fact he ate a load of man juice with his meatball? i'd have sent them back.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Can't beat this for a song. I love a bit of 70s...

----------


## Mendip

^^ Mike, I believe it was melted cheese.

Anyway, to get back on track and into the feel of this thread I believe we need a change of direction...

----------


## Reg Dingle

What time is it in Bangkok right now? 
Just before Midningh? The night is young
I'd give my left bollock to be there right now,


I used to go down that soi 22 and see the sunset and rise twice, a few times.

I wondered where I'd slept some nights, someone said under the pool table the one night.

Where you heading out to?

----------


## Looper

These torrid travellers' tales do not embolden me to put my toe back in the travelling water yet.




> Looper had beaten me to it and spent the afternoon doing some of his dodgy DIY...


Dodgy AAF... I like!

----------


## malmomike77

> What time is it in Bangkok right now? Just before Midningh? The night is young


he'll have to say his goodnights to the gardener and won't want him to hear "I'm a Barbie girl" blaring in the background.

----------


## Reg Dingle

:smiley laughing: 
I don't miss waking up with empty pockets though and walking past all those bars  with Mamasans toting huge padded bills they said I hadn't paid for.

I guess he's  waiting til about 4am when the birds are all barfine free and fully lubed :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> I won't be schadenfreudering you when yer stuck at Brummie International for three days cos the baggage handlers have gone out in sympathy with the truck drivers.
> 
> Or maybe I will.


Dont take hold luggage for at least the next two years, problem solved. I could do with a long Summer on the picket line, might get a job at the airport  :bananaman: 






> I guess he's waiting til about 4am when the birds are all barfine free and fully lubed


Priceless  :smiley laughing: 


Mendip, how are the beef burgers on Soi 4?

I hear they're exceptional at this time of the morning! :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> I don't miss waking up with empty pockets though and walking past all those bars with Mamasans toting huge padded bills they said I hadn't paid for.


try waking up at 5am on Union street Plymouth.

----------


## Joe 90

> try waking up at 5am on Union street Plymouth.


Had to google that. 


Union Street in Plymouth is a night-time hotspot and the square mile boasts thirty pubs, two strip clubs and the redlight district with some fifteen to thirty prostitutes. The area is patrolled by the military and local police.

 :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

Put it in your itinerary Mendip, find out the story on Sids debauchery.

----------


## malmomike77

^^ yep but the issue was that i last remembered being in Wales two days earlier, was 85'

----------


## Joe 90

> ^^ yep but the issue was that i last remembered being in Wales two days earlier, was 85'


 :smiley laughing:  :cmn:

----------


## malmomike77

^ free and single, much like passport runs in BKK.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

Mendips getting his pipes cleaned at lolitas :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> Mendips getting his pipes cleaned at lolitas


It was never nice walking past early afternoon, what them girls had to go through. Had a few nights out with Shaun and no one can get paid enough imo.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Is he still out?

----------


## cyrille

> Dont take hold luggage for at least the next two years, problem solved.


If there's a pile of luggage to be loaded onto the plane and nobody to do it then...no. 

Your problem isn't solved. 

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Mendip

> Is he still out?


Yes, he was out, but only because after a good night's sleep I headed off to Bumrungrad at the crack of dawn.

What many of you degenerates don't seem to realise is that whereas I'm sure that Bangkok may have a seedy side, it is also the administrative capital of Thailand and to my knowledge the only city in the country where it's possible to renew foreign passports and to get an offshore medical certificate.

At 8am this morning I was on the 16th floor of Bumrungrad Hospital, doing just that.



It was a little disappointing if I'm perfectly honest as I discovered that somehow I seem to have put back on almost all of the 10kg I lost while working offshore last Autumn in the Black Sea. But at least the blood pressure has stayed down.

As luck would have it Fitzgerald's is only a short walk from Bumrungrad so after I finished up I popped down to Soi 4 to ponder my mystery weight gain.



I'm in a quandary now... these medicals only usually take a couple of hours but today I was waiting until lunchtime to get the certificates. I had planned to be heading back up the hill to Korat today but now I won't be able to get away until mid-afternoon and it hardly seems worth it.... Friday being so busy on the roads and everything. The last thing I want is a Friday night alone stuck in the big smoke but what can ya do?

----------


## malmomike77

Did they try that trick of the cute nurse in front bending down to pick something up whilst Doctor Somporn stuck his digit up yer popper?

----------


## Mendip

^ I didn't fall for that one again.

To be honest it's been on my mind that I'm overdue for a prostate exam... but that is no longer a part of the offshore medical. I guess with the aging workforce too many people would fail these days.

But how to ask for a prostate examination without sounding weird? I did ask one young lady if she could help out but it turned out she was just in to sell insurance. :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> The last thing I want is a Friday night alone stuck in the big smoke but what can ya do?


Result!



> I popped down to Soi 4


Result!



> To be honest it's been on my mind that I'm overdue for a prostate exam



Say no more, mums the word :Smile: 

Its Friday and you're on Soi 4,unfortunate bit of misplanning that :bananaman:

----------


## malmomike77

> But how to ask for a prostate examination without sounding weird? I did ask one young lady if she could help out but it turned out she was just in to sell insurance.


Socal has been asking if its part of the massage service, it is if you pay extra - there's your solution although you may not get a print out.

----------


## Mendip

^ Call me picky but I'd rather have someone from the medical profession carry it out. Well, the first one, anyway.

----------


## malmomike77

> ^ Call me picky but I'd rather have someone from the medical profession carry it out. Well, the first one, anyway.


Just ask if any of them are moonlighting

anyway.

Have you got an updated itinerary you can share

----------


## Joe 90

> Have you got an updated itinerary you can share


This one might be just the ticket..

----------


## Edmond

Will be 10kg lighter this time tomorrow.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'll ignore that.

^^ Joe, I don't think that itinerary is suitable for an 11 year old? Besides, that guy looks like a bit of a twat but he does have a good taste in shirts.

^^^ Mike, I'm gonna really get serious on the itinerary once I get home, after I write my letter to Lufthansa. 

I seem to remember London is firmed up between Aug 1st - 4th already, just need to book hotels and train tickets. It's just over two weeks and the osydidy begins!

I'm starting to wish I called the the thread something different cos every time I type it I have trouble spelling oddysy... odysey.... journey.

----------


## Edmond

> Will be 10kg lighter this time tomorrow.





> I'll ignore that.


That's just from the back shave.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Do you have a lot of friends up in Chiang Mai?

----------


## DrWilly

> ^ I didn't fall for that one again.
> 
> To be honest it's been on my mind that I'm overdue for a prostate exam... but that is no longer a part of the offshore medical. I guess with the aging workforce too many people would fail these days.
> 
> But how to ask for a prostate examination without sounding weird? I did ask one young lady if she could help out but it turned out she was just in to sell insurance.



They dont have to stick their fingers up your arse anymore for checking prostrates. Though I suppose _you_ could still request it...

----------


## Mendip

^ So where do they stick them now? 

And surely one finger is enough?

----------


## DrWilly

Blood test.

----------


## danno5

Mendip - a decade or so ago I was working in Malaysia and travelled back to the east coast of the US annually for a home visit. I was flying British Airways since they had the shortest flying time connecting through London. I had a similar experience - got to the airport for my return to MY, about a 6-hour delay, loaded on to the plane and after 2 hours disembarked. Spent another 2 hours in line (flying business but no separate agents after they kicked us off the plane) only to be told to go away and come back the next day. No offer of reimbursement for expenses, just go away.

Anyhow, the point of all this (other than to gripe about BA who I never flew again) is that I ultimately got about $800 USD in compensation from them (for both my wife and myself) through the program associated with european travel. Check it out - it might provide a little satisfaction for delays knowing you are getting something back from them!

----------


## Edmond

> Chiang Mai?


Cebu.






> friends


You mean like 5 dogs + 1 dodgy Welsh bloke? 


Let's just say that Nooners is okay, but ya got me on the dogs.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ Thankyou Danno, as soon as I get home I'll be on to this. It's not the delay or missed flight that pisses me off, that's life.... it's the complete contempt that Lufthansa showed it's customers that has got me, and their total disinterest in making it right. Two days later and no contact whatsoever.

And thanks for the first sensible post in many pages. You see what I'm up against here.

^ It's 7 dogs. And you don't need the adjective 'dodgy' in front of 'Welsh', by the way.

----------


## bsnub

Mendy will be back on the sauce. You need to start a YT channel with live posts from the garden.  :Smile:

----------


## BLD

> ^ Day rental. 144 quid I think it cost. Didn't do any locks. A few  nice country pubs on the route
> 
> I wouldn't fancy living on one full time. There's some right bedraggled  characters out there that do.


That sounds like a fooking great day out Reg. Right up my alley that I reckon. A barge. Canals and bevvys. What could possibly go wrong

----------


## BLD

> It was never nice walking past early afternoon, what them girls had to go through. Had a few nights out with Shaun and no one can get paid enough imo.


Au contraire. And I beg to differ I've always thought lolitas quite classy . because me slippers didn't stick to the carpet.

----------


## BLD

> They dont have to stick their fingers up your arse anymore for checking prostrates. Though I suppose _you_ could still request it...


I always insist on both. To be sure to be sure

----------


## BLD

> Very sad. Very very sad. 
> 
> I cried a tear.


He does tend to use a lot of passport pages I suppose.

----------


## malmomike77

> because me slippers didn't stick to the carpet.


Posh bastard, went for the first class service inside rather than the passing trade open air gobble.

----------


## BLD

Exactly. Bld ain't no kee nee aw farang

----------


## Neverna

> But how to ask for a prostate examination without sounding weird? I did ask one young lady if she could help out but it turned out she was just in to sell insurance.


The doctor doesn't need to stick his finger up your arse these days to do a prostate check. Technology has moved on. An ultrasound scan by a nurse is much more pleasant for hetero guys.

A blood test will check for prostate cancer, but it's not 100% reliable apparently.

----------


## Joe 90

> A blood test will check for prostate cancer, but it's not 100% reliable apparently


I believe it's just a pin prick test as well, no need to get excited  :Smile: 

How's the pub crawl going Mendy?

We need pics of beer,bars and boobs :bananaman: 

Go Mendy!


Go Mendy!

Oh, don't forget the early morning burger pic outside Nana plaza for Snubbles :rofl:

----------


## Mendip

> The doctor doesn't need to stick his finger up your arse these days to do a prostate check. Technology has moved on. An ultrasound scan by a nurse is much more pleasant for hetero guys.
> 
> A blood test will check for prostate cancer, but it's not 100% reliable apparently.


Thanks Nev, but surely an index finger is a lot smaller than one of those ultrasound heads?

But anyway, this thread has gone way off course from it's intended diary of a father and daughter's oddysey of discovery across southern England. I had in mind a kind of 'Laurens van der Post' style exploration of the Kalihari kind of theme in mind, but I can see that won't happen here. 

So anyway, to get back on topic as best I can...




And to keep you bloody northerners included...

----------


## Topper

> Let's just say that Nooners is okay,


Nooners is in Cebu?

----------


## Reg Dingle

> A barge. Canals and bevvys. What could possibly go wrong







> BY CATHY OWEN
> 15:21, 26 MAY 2022UPDATED15:25, 26 MAY 2022
>  A canal barge sank after reportedly hitting other boats during a boozy stag do. It is alleged by locals that a group from Wales had hired the boat last weekend.
> 
> The barge, one of three hired from ABC Boat Hire on Friday, ended up under water on the Droitwich Canal in Worcestershire. A nearby road also flooded as a result.
> 
> Narrowboat owner Amanda Huxtable., who later called the police about the behaviour, wrote on Facebook : There's a reason why you shouldn't let your boats to stag parties. I have now had ABC come to find the boat that hit me has been abandoned."
> 
> It is alleged the group had failed to get one of the boats hired through a lock on the canal, but rather than trying to sort it out they ditched it


Stag party causes chaos by sinking barge on canal and flooding road - Wales Online

Also, we were told to lock the below rudder away inside the boat when getting off it as there are some unsavoury folk around who like to steal all kinds of shiny metal things and will leave you up shit creek without a paddle :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Nooners is in Cebu


Is she one of Ms Mbudga's mates? :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Stag party causes chaos by sinking barge on canal and flooding road - Wales Online
> 
> Also, we were told to lock the below rudder away inside the boat when getting off it as there are some unsavoury folk around who like to steal all kinds of shiny metal things and will leave you up shit creek without a paddle


I bet that engine coolant packs a punch :Party:  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> Nooners is in Cebu?


I put him in my hand luggage.  :Smile: 







> Is she one of Ms Mbudga's mates?


Before your time, newbo.







> there are some unsavoury folk around who like to steal all kinds of shiny metal things


I'd be lying if I said my eyes didn't drift towards that unlocked coolant reservoir.  :Smile:

----------


## Looper

> Mendy will be back on the sauce.


He will be rocking the 'kok big stylee off the leash on soi 4 on a Friday night.

I can feel the seismic geological rumblings from 7000km away.

----------


## Reg Dingle

I dunno how he gets away with it.

My missus would have been at the airport and wanting to stay in Bangkok for the couple of nights. 

I was thinking too, you never see his missus and the Factotum in the same photo. :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> I dunno how he gets away with it.


hes watching cricket

----------


## DrWilly

> hes watching cricket



Interesting euphemism.

----------


## Mendip

> I dunno how he gets away with it.
> 
> I was thinking too, you never see his missus and the Factotum in the same photo.


Ain't it obvious? The missus doesn't like cricket.

And the reason she's never in a photo with the gardener? She's the one holding the camera.

----------


## Edmond

Starting to get a whiff of the West family now.

----------


## DrWilly

> Ain't it obvious? The missus doesn't like cricket.
> 
> And the reason she's never in a photo with the gardener? She's the one holding the camera.



Neither does mine, but that doesn’t mean I can stay in the pub in Bangkok for a week during every Australian test watching it on my own…

----------


## hallelujah

I never did post the pics from being just a few miles from Mendips house, did I? 





























Big local news






I felt like I was within touching distance of TD royalty!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Hallowed ground indeed. Many thanks Hal, I'll be following in your footsteps in just three weeks from now.

And you're in luck, I also do an online version...

Welcome to Mendip Times - Celebrating life on the Mendips and surrounding areas




> Neither does mine, but that doesn’t mean I can stay in the pub in Bangkok for a week during every Australian test watching it on my own…


Well, you should have a word then mate.

Tbf my wife knows I don't particularly like living in Korat and I said from the start that I'd need time in civilisation from time to time if I was expected to live  in the back of beyond. And watching the cricket isn't mandatory.

Anyway, I', back home now and tomorrow will start planning the oddysey in earnest. I only have three firm dates ticked off but have another four days in London firmed up. I just need to book stuff up. I rarely seem to leave Bangkok without some ailment or other, and after wearing my sandals about town for a day I awoke this morning to find a big blister on the top of my middle toe. It bloody hurts.

The interesting thing about this photo is that afterwards I realised that I took it just as a mosquito was biting the side of my foot... it was one of those stripy-legged aedes mosquitos as well... the ones that spread dengue fever. The little bastard... that's all I need.

----------


## malmomike77

You should avoid any painting, staining or other work before your hols. Your feet, aside from the TC one next to your big toe look nearly normal or they would if you cut and cleaned the big one.

----------


## hallelujah

> 


You ever thought about an OnlyFans account for your foot porn?

I reckon you'd be smashing it if you combined it with Dil's dogging adventures in and around the services of the M1 next month.

----------


## Mendip

> aside from the TC one next to your big toe look nearly normal


Sorry Mike, but 'TC'... I'm not familiar with that term?

----------


## bsnub

> Sorry Mike, but 'TC'... I'm not familiar with that term?


He tends to spew a lot of gibberish. Interestingly enough, he is close to overtaking you as the top poster on your own thread.  :Smile: 

*Who Posted?*


     Posts                              55 Mendip     Posts                              52 malmomike77

----------


## Mendip

^ I'd better make it 56 then.

'CT' could have been 'Cute Toe', but TC leaves me flummoxed.

----------


## hallelujah

> ^ I'd better make it 56 then.
> 
> 'CT' could have been 'Cute Toe', but TC leaves me flummoxed.


I'm guessing Topcat...

----------


## Mendip

^ Aah, I get it now.

Was he implying my index toe isn't altogether straight?

----------


## Reg Dingle

> 'TC'... I'm not familiar with that term?


Toe Curler.

All those passport renewals with Lockjaw Lek have left it permanently curled :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> All those passport renewals with Lockjaw Lek have left it permanently curled


You go to Lolita's and ask them to suck on your toe?

You're doing it wrong, mate.

----------


## Mendip

> Toe Curler.
> 
> All those passport renewals with Lockjaw Lek have left it permanently curled


She was just called 'Lek' the first time I met her.

Yeah, sorry about that, Lek.

----------


## malmomike77

> He tends to spew a lot of gibberish. Interestingly enough, he is close to overtaking you as the top poster on your own thread.


Christ he's post counting on this thread now  :Smile:  still everyone needs a hobby.




> I'm guessing Topcat...


I thought it was a bit obvious but i keep forgetting this is TD and its full of blunt tools  :Smile: 




> Was he implying my index toe isn't altogether straight?


ding dong

----------


## hallelujah

At least it was one of those quips that had us all laughing in the aisles straightaway instead of guessing what the fuck you meant.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

i always know what i am on about.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm a bit tired today.

----------


## malmomike77

^ have a rest, you deserve it, put your feet up and get mini to wait on you with G&Ts. I made me son run around all day yesterday  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

Btw, just to add that the north does quaint and beautiful too!



And to emphasise my point...



Aint no beautifuler than Blacky, right?  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Btw, just to add that the north does quaint and beautiful too!
> 
> 
> 
> And to emphasise my point...
> 
> 
> 
> Aint no beautifuler than Blacky, right?


The leaning tower of Blackpool?

Do you have such a thing as a spirit level up north? There doesn't seem to be a single lamppost or telegraph pole that's vertical. But quaint it is.

I'll be taking the daughter to Weston-Super-Mare's Grand Pier for the tacky seaside experience. I must admit I'm quite looking forward to that and a young daughter is a great excuse as I'd feel a bit weird playing the 2p games on my own.

----------


## Mendip

Anyway, I've been busy today... this was the letter I sent to Lufthansa. I toned it down from the original since after all, I do want to be reimbursed and what's the point in being humorous or overly sarcastic here?

I'm only copying it here because I'm pissed off. I sent it earlier today... obviously no reply as yet... as would be expected.

You send an email to their sales department and they bite your hand off.


        26.06.22

*Delayed Flight LH2455 OSL – MUC, 20th June 2022  * 

_Dear Sir/Madam,   
_
_I would like to complain in the strongest possible terms regarding my treatment by Lufthansa during my recent tortuous journey between Haugesund in Norway and Bangkok, Thailand.
_
_This was my booking:

Booking ref. xxxxxxxxxxxx
_
_You will doubtlessly be aware of the delay with Flight 2455 at Oslo. I think I had seven consecutive emails in my Inbox advising me of each new delay, usually increasing the delay by around 20 minutes or so each time. It was noticeable that there were no Lufthansa personnel at the gate throughout this series of announced delays to explain anything or offer any advice. We were later told that the delay was due to a medical emergency and diversion of the incoming flight to Copenhagen. I am sure that no-one would criticise Lufthansa for doing so, if true. However, I am equally as sure that everyone unlucky enough to be booked on Flight LH2455 to Munich has nothing but blame and criticism for Lufthansa for the debacle that followed.
_
_A cynical person would wonder how on earth such a diversion to Copenhagen could first add just 20 minutes to the flight departure time, and then a further 10 minutes or 30 minutes? Maybe 40 minutes after the last delay announcement quoting a new departure time of 21:25 (email received at 19:51), a Lufthansa employee did indeed turn up at Gate D07. It was almost as if he knew that all the preceding delay announcements weren’t actually genuine and offered just to give placate the waiting passengers and give them false hope to keep quiet. Incidentally, during this time I was offered the princely 75NOK food voucher, which as you know wouldn’t even cover a bottle of water and sandwich ad Oslo Airport. This is a moot point anyway since the only bar/restaurant in the vicinity of Gate D07 where the voucher could be redeemed was of course shut. So that saved Lufthansa 75NOK, but I guess the offer ticked another box in the airline good ethics code.
_
_Anyway, the lone Lufthansa employee who finally arrived at Gate D07 soon realised that he couldn’t deal with a plane load of passengers with missed connections, so must have called for help and was soon joined by a second Lufthansa employee… so two people to deal with maybe 30 or 40 queries in the 30 minutes or so until the flight was due to depart? Lufthansa were obviously pulling out all the stops here.
_
_It soon became apparent that these two Lufthansa employees had no interest in helping in any way, and just said that new flight re-bookings would be announced en-route on Flight LH2455 and that there would be a team of people on the ground at Munich to deal with any problems. This was the first bare faced and blatant lie I was told. I actually asked the guy if he could guarantee there would be someone to help at Munich, and he looked at me with a condensing smile as though I was a complete idiot, and said, “of course there will be”. A blatant lie, twice told.
_
_During the flight there was indeed an extended announcement listing all flight re-bookings for the poor customers unlucky enough to have been booked on Flight LH2455 from OSL to MUC. Amongst the list was a message for Bangkok-bound customers, of which I was one. We were told that the unlucky ones were re-booked on the following night’s (21st June) Lufthansa Flight LH0772 from MUC to BKK and that due to a full flight, the lucky ones were re-booked on the Thai Airways TG925 at 14:25 on the next day, 21st June. This was the second blatant lie I was told by Lufthansa.
_
_On arrival at Munich around midnight there was not a single Lufthansa employee to help. I arrived at the Service Desk that the onboard announcement had given detailed directions on how to find, to discover it was closed. Well, ‘closing’ to be exact. Several of my fellow passengers at the very front of the queue had made it there in time to talk to the few remaining staff while the great majority of passengers were denied access. The Lufthansa staff wouldn’t even tell us the way out of the airport (as the closest exit was closed) and I had more help from an airport cleaner than the entire Lufthansa ‘ground staff’ put together. Oh, but there was a trolley laden with cartons of water and chocolate bars left out for us! Thanks Lufthansa, that was really great! Basically one lady just told us that the Service Centre was closing and we were on our own… no help or advice offered whatsoever.
_
_By this time I had been joined by a Thai lady and a Norwegian man. The Norwegian man had received an email from Lufthansa telling him he was rebooked on the following night’s 22:45 Lufthansa flight LH0772 to Bangkok, but neither I nor the Thai lady had received any such notification. Yes, you couldn’t even be bothered to tell us what flight we were re-booked on, this after umpteen emails detailing each and every delay for flight LH 2455 while we were stuck at Oslo for hours. Oh, but I forgot to thank you for the email you sent at 20:34 while I was still stuck in Oslo with no hope of making my connection at Munich… yes, you advised me of a gate change for flight LH0772, Munich to Bangkok, the same flight I had no hope of catching. Thanks for that… was it just to rub salt into the wounds?
_
_Anyway, I decided to find at hotel to stay in (this was now around midnight) along with my two new fellow stranded passenger friends. I guess it was just lucky that I have the means to pay for unexpected taxis/hotel rooms etc. Maybe you should forewarn future passengers to have extra money available and to pre-arrange hotels and taxis at every connection point on Lufthansa journeys and make it very clear that if connecting flights are missed, they are on their own?_ 
_As Lufthansa were no doubt aware, there was a very large exhibition on at Munich last Monday and almost all hotels in the vicinity of the airport were full. How wonderful it would have been if a company with local knowledge, possibly even a relationship with local hotels and with some kind of duty of care for it’s customers was available to help out… but no, we were on our own.
_
_Eventually I found a reasonably priced hotel (The Courtyard by Marriott – Munich Garching) that appeared to have vacancies, however Booking.com was no longer taking bookings so it was a gamble to just arrive… but it was either that or just wait at the airport for the night. It was no around midnight. I paid for the taxi to (and back again the next day) and we were lucky and there were vacancies. We checked in around 01:30am, very tired, hungry and extremely cross. After spending an hour or so sending emails to re-arrange my now missed appointments in Bangkok I eventually turned the hotel room lights out at 3am.`_
_Of course, seeing as I had no idea what flight I was booked on the next day I had no idea of when to head back to the airport. Should I go back to the airport in the morning in case I was indeed lucky enough to be booked on the Thai Airways 14:25 flight? Or should I go back late afternoon in case I was unfortunate enough to be re-booked on the Lufthansa night flight? I guessed that the complete lack of communication from Lufthansa indicated that I was now with Thai Airways? Or was it just that Lufthansa can’t even send emails out of normal working hours? I didn’t really want to return in the morning and then risk waiting the entire day until 22:45 for the Lufthansa flight, but what choice did I have? And I also knew that I wouldn’t even be offered a 75NOK sandwich voucher from Lufthansa a second time, now that they had seemingly cut communication. By the way, what is your slogan? “Say Yes To The World”…
_
_I returned to the airport the next day around 10am after paying for a breakfast and giving away my duty free (yes, thanks for that Lufthansa… it would no longer clear security… or would the security guards at MUC also “Say Yes To The World” in the famous Lufthansa manner? I doubt it. I travelled back to the airport with the Thai lady after paying for another taxi. The Thai lady was at a complete loss due to not being familiar with travel and poor English. Amazingly enough she hadn’t realised that Lufthansa would just dump her in Munich and wash their hands of her… she actually assumed a duty of care existed… what a foolish lady. 
_
_We found the Service Centre landside and it was actually open, and with staff. We approached an available counter very cautiously, all the time expecting Lufthansa to suddenly close it and turn us away (maybe with another bar of chocolate to sustain us for another six hours), but amazingly enough it remained open until we arrived at the counter. The Holy Grail… we had actually found a Lufthansa employee to talk to. This was lucky as there were no cleaners around in sight to help us again if we were dumped a second time by Lufthansa. We spoke to the Lufthansa employee and get this… you will probably not believe this… we actually weren’t booked on any further flights. Yes, Lufthansa had completely and blatantly lied to us again and hadn’t even bothered to re-book us on new flights to Bangkok. Thank you, Lufthansa, you really have taken customer care to a new level (yes, that was sarcasm).
_
_The Lufthansa man did eventually book myself and the Thai lady onto Emirates flights to Bangkok via Dubai (EK050 & EK0384). The first flight to Dubai was scheduled to depart at 15:40 so we were saved the torture of an entire day at the airport waiting for Lufthansa’s 22:45 flight. Yes, we only had around another four hours to kill, but to be honest we were getting quite used to waiting at airports by this point of the journey.
_
_You won’t be surprised to learn that once we were booked on Emirates the remainder of our tortuous journey went without problem and we arrived at Bangkok around 22 hours after we had first anticipated with Lufthansa, by which time we had both been travelling for almost 48 hours._ _(Well, of course there was one further problem for me when my Duty Free was confiscated at Munich security as we went airside. Despite being in the regulation sealed and un-opened bag, as you are doubtless aware, if you have left an airport any liquids will no longer clear security). 
_
_I have been a regular air passenger for 31 years since I started working internationally and have to say that in all that time I have never been treated with such contempt by an airline. I accept that delays happen resulting in missed flights but I have always experienced airlines trying to put that right and help out. In all the time I’ve lived in Asia I have twice missed onward connections resulting in overnight stays. One time was with KLM resulting in a night in an Amsterdam hotel. The strange thing was, that once I’d missed the connection, KLM actually kept their Service Centres open to deal with customers who had problems (what an amazing concept) and they booked me a hotel (with late check-out because my re-booked flight was also a night flight) with all meals covered, and they even arranged transport from and to the airport. The second occasion was at Addis Ababa when my Bangkok bound flight developed a problem on the runway and the flight was cancelled. Despite visa issues, Ethiopian Airways also arranged accommodation, food and transport until the next day. A so called ‘Third World’ airline who left Lufthansa standing. What amazing customer care from KLM and Ethiopian… (sarcasm again), no, it was of course just the bare minimum a fee paying passenger should expect from a professional company showing some respect, duty of care, and dare I say it, gratitude, for it’s customers.
_
_Needless to say I will never be flying Lufthansa again and have instructed my company to never again book me on Lufthansa flights. I doubt that this will bother such an appalling airline with such total disregard for their customers, but my hope is that at some point in the future there will be an empty long haul seat on a Lufthansa flight while I am sitting elsewhere, on a plane operated by a decent airline. I hope that I can persuade my company to re-think using Lufthansa altogether… and they are a big company, constantly sending employees internationally to crew vessels. Again, I doubt you will care but it is all I can do.
_
_Oh, and I have now been back in Thailand for four days… I must have missed your apology email and the obligatory ‘How did we do?’ email… 
_
_Lufthansa… “Say Yes To The World!”
_
_I have of course incurred considerable costs during my Lufthansa experience. Before closing the Service Desk at Munich and washing their hands of plane load of stranded passengers from Oslo, a Lufthansa employee did in fact say to back-charge all costs to Lufthansa, no problem. After being so blatantly lied to by Lufthansa on at least two occasions I of course take that offer with a pinch of salt, but have attached receipts totalling 480.60 EUR for my costs incurred.
_
_Namely:_
_·       One night in the Marriott Courtyard – Munich Garching:                             174.00 EUR_
_·       Taxis (x 2) to and from Marriott Hotel-Munich Airport:                                91.80 EUR_
_·       Meal at Munich Airport:                                                                           17.80 EUR_
_·       Confiscated Duty Free (1332 NOK):                                                          128 EUR_
_·       Re-booked additional night at Hotel Mermaid, Bangkok (2590.12THB):       69.00 EUR
_
_The expenses are namely, taxis to and from the Marriot Courtyard – Munich Garching Hotel, a night with breakfast at the hotel, my confiscated Duty Free, a modest meal at Munich Airport while waiting four hours for my 15:40 Emirates flight to Dubai, a re-booked hotel night in Bangkok (I had to re-schedule business in Bangkok and re-book the lost night at the end of the Bangkok stay). I am sure this is the bare minimum Lufthansa will be willing to re-imburse and there must surely be a case for compensation for such appalling treatment and customer ‘care’.
_
_Regards
_
_Mendip
_

----------


## Joe 90

Do you think anyone will actually read all that?

The complaints departments at these big airlines don't  exist.

----------


## Mendip

Probably not, but it made me feel better.

You have to do something.

Of course there's no email address or anything, just a restrictive automated system to log your complaint, but this is a start. Mike sent me a link to write a review, but I have to do a lot of editing. These things take a lot of effort and I guess the airlines rely on apathy to take over before you finally give up.

----------


## HuangLao

> Probably not, but it made me feel better.


Better for one's soul to live one's protest - broadly speaking.
Don't play the game. 


Most don't, as it compromises their already conditioned and comfortable nature. 
Going along only confirms the contradictions of it all.

----------


## DrWilly

Good luck

----------


## Edmond

_#whinging.poms_  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

45 yoyos for a taxi to the hotel!

Bet you get one from Bkk to Khorat for that. With a penicillin stop included!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Do you think anyone will actually read all that?


I reckon someone at Luftansa will copy and paste some of that email into Google to see where he's been leaving bad press, then arrive on here and see where his 'confiscated' duty free really ended up, then forward  photos of cutlery and his splayed toes to Emirates security staff :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> I reckon someone at Luftansa will copy and paste some of that email into Google to see where he's been leaving bad press, then arrive on here and see where his 'confiscated' duty free really ended up, then forward  photos of cutlery and his splayed toes to Emirates security staff


All well and good, but have you decided who's spooning who yet?

----------


## Looper

> and giving away my duty free


That was generous Mendip. I did not think of that.

I drank a 1/4 of a bottle of Cuarenta-y-tres at Heathrow airport, standing at security in 2008 when they would not let me take it on board a connection, after buying it in Barcelona due to liquids security bollix.

Could not bear to just put it in the plastic bucket.

9/11 touched everyone's lives in different ways.




> copy and paste some of that email into Google to see where he's been leaving bad press


 :rofl:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ ^Not yet, buddy.

 We are currently on the lookout for a cone  boy or something. I forget the nautical term he used.

Did you apply? :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> We are currently on the lookout for a cone boy or something. I forget the nautical term he used.


Withnail in Stoke is your cone boy!

----------


## baldrick

> You need to start a YT channel with live posts from the garden


with the wicking reg grundies , an only fans channel might be more suitable

----------


## Mendip

> ^ ^Not yet, buddy.
> 
>  We are currently on the lookout for a cone  boy or something. I forget the nautical term he used.


Peg boy. It's not a popular job, to be honest.

----------


## Mendip

> Well, that's not much good for taking them out of Thailand.
> 
> It is.
> 
> I can.
> 
> It's a travel consent for minors letter that your local amphur would set up. They will stamp it with the details of all. Likely that all 3 parties will need to be there in person, and will likely need to be the amphur office in the district the kid is registered in. The mother will need to sign the birth cert etc copies.
> 
> It's pretty much a global thing, not a Thai only thing, due to child trafficking and parental kidnapping.



We leave for our oddysey in two weeks today so it was time to get serious.

Thanks to Edmond I now know that I'll need a special form with the wife's permission to take the daughter out of the country without her mum. Today we went to sort it out at the Korat Amphur offices in the city, if that's the correct terminology. Btw Ed, did I ever send you that green for this advice? If not I still owe you one.

This is the building...



And this is the office... (it's the same place I go to get the Kor Ror 2 re-affirmed for visa extensions).



I settled down outside while the wife went in to sort things out. I was going to offer this girl one of my face masks to match her sweatshirt but thought better of it. The wife doesn't like me striking up conversations with random girls on the street.



The wife came back out 5 minutes later to tell me that they had run out of queue numbers and it would be around 1pm until they could see us. This was soon after 9am. Bollocks to that, I'll try again tomorrow.

Of course no trip out of the house is complete without picking up some food. That's the missus there... just to scotch any rumours about me and the gardener.



I don't know what you call this stuff but I quite like it. So long as it's _pet nitnoi_...



So, an early lunch. Not the most productive of mornings.

----------


## katie23

I agree with @Edmond (lulu) that it's not only in Thailand - the parental consent thing. Here in PH, there's a similar process. The parent going abroad must present a form to Immigration (passport control) from the DSWD (Dept of Social Welfare & Dev't) stating that the other parent agrees to the child/ minor travelling out of the country. Again, it's to prevent human/ child trafficking & kidnapping. 

@mendip - that ftied rice looks good. Hope you get all your papers (and your itinerary) in order.

----------


## Headworx

Mendip seriously (for once) if LH don't respond you could shorten your letter up and post it on a forum like Flyertalk. You'd definitely get a response from them then.

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks HW.

I need an edited version also for the website Mike put up a link to: A-Z Airline Reviews - SKYTRAX

I've heard nothing yet from Lufthansa of course but I'll give them a couple of days before I start leaving reviews at every website I can find. Incidentally, Emirates have already sent me an email asking 'How did we do?' They did very well as far as I'm concerned, although let's be fair, Lufthansa couldn't have lowered the bar any further. 


Anyway, I haven't wasted this morning and things are firming up nicely, although there's still a few blank squares to populate.



I booked up a Travelodge just off the Thames and a short walk to The Mall (not the one in Korat), Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace and all that kind of stuff. It cost about 350 quid for three nights which didn't seem too bad. I also booked up train tickets to/from Paddington, and fearing the worst from what I've heard, was pleasantly surprised at the £69 cost for returns for the two of us, plus a quid to get the tickets posted to my mum's house!

----------


## Edmond

> I don't know what you call this stuff but I quite like it.


According to the sign it is minced testicles.

----------


## Mendip

^ Thank God for that, I was worried it was something weird.

----------


## DrWilly

Best to get some sort of certified letter written by the wife, as you are travelling in the UK and they may not recognise or read the Thai version of your form.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah thanks, I've got stuff in English for the UK immigration end... this has got awfully complicated.

----------


## DrWilly

> this has got awfully complicated.



It always is.

----------


## aging one

> ^ Yeah thanks, I've got stuff in English for the UK immigration end... this has got awfully complicated.


I doubt you will have any problems. I did  a trip home with my nine and a half year old twins as you know. No problems at all. In fact I never thought about it.  It will be quite obvious you are a father and daughter, who I will bet cant stop smiling and laughing.  Just have fun mate.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Yeah, she has a UK passport doesn't she.
I had no problems when  leaving Malaysia and then entering the UK alone with my daughter. 

I'm not a shifty looking fucker though :Smile: 

Oh qnd you have return tickets, which we never had.

----------


## Mendip

Best to be safe than sorry though.

She has an Aussie passport as well, which I found out today expires next June.

Happy days.

----------


## DrWilly

> I doubt you will have any problems.


I've done plenty of trips and never been stopped either. But it can happen, I know a fellow was stopped leaving Bali with his son. For the sake of a piece of paper, not worth the risk of a hassle...

----------


## Mendip

^^^ To be honest mate I thought that as well, but let's face it, if you were going to abduct a kid then it would be obvious to book return tickets.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yeah exactly. Another trip to the Amphur offices tomorrow. I wonder what lunch will be?

----------


## Joe 90

If she's on a British passport with the same surname then they won't give you a second look.

----------


## Mendip

It's leaving Thailand on her Thai passport that I'm more concerned about mate. Anyway, it'll give me something to do tomorrow.

----------


## aging one

> It's leaving Thailand on her Thai passport that I'm more concerned about mate. Anyway, it'll give me something to do tomorrow.


The natural thing to do. Again not a problem. My mom gave me  worry gene. It never kicked in with this situation. My kids left on Thai passports with no Thai name at all.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

As I've aged I've turned into a worrier mate. Nothing used to bother me but now I cross the Ts and dot all the Is. I think that international travel has now become so tortuous that you can't be over-prepared.

Oh, and I just had an acknowlegement email from Lufthansa... explaining the need of time to reply. Apparently they are currently receiving 'unprecedented' communications... I wonder why.

Emirates had no problem making contact.

----------


## CalEden

> Mendip seriously (for once) if LH don't respond you could shorten your letter up and post it on a forum like Flyertalk. You'd definitely get a response from them then.


Was going to suggest Flyertalk also. Post it there it will give you bigger Hammer/Hand Grenade.

----------


## Topper

> As I've aged I've turned into a worrier mate. Nothing used to bother me but now I cross the Ts and dot all the Is. I think that international travel has now become so tortuous that you can't be over-prepared.


I'm the same....with the rules changing as often as they do, a healthy paranoia generally is best.

----------


## BLD

> Best to be safe than sorry though.
> 
> She has an Aussie passport as well, which I found out today expires next June.
> 
> Happy days.


You should get that sorted out sharpish. I've just renewed my kids aussie passports and was told I will get them back in 3 months WTF  apparently now restrictions are lifted people can't get out of here quick enough.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm only back home for two weeks this time mate and I think trying to squeeze in a passport run would be pushing it. But point taken, thanks.

I think the daughter's UK passport is also up next June and the UK have been quoting around 10 weeks, but in reality taking a lot longer. I'll get on to all of this early next year.

----------


## Mendip

Things are really progressing and we'll be oddyseying before you know it. The final potential barrier has been removed.

After a few day's on my best behaviour, not to mention a bottle of duty free perfume, today the missus went down to the Amphur and obtained this permission form I need to take the daughter out of the country, sans mother.

I've gotta say, I'm really looking forward to a few weeks alone with the daughter in a completely different environment. I think it will do us both a world of good. It may sound strange but I get very little time alone with her, and the bloody gardener has actually spent more time with her than I... but that's just the way it is I guess.

Anyway, I like to keep these threads informative and this is the form. As I have no idea which parts are actually sensitive I was a bit  over-zealous with the redaction. The cost was '500 Baht', but I take that with a pinch of salt. I think I may have paid for a couple of lunches as well.

----------


## DrWilly

Lol- that’s some serious redaction

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, knowing my luck the only bit I didn't redact will be my name. I don't even know what it looks like in Thai.

I'm still hoping that the document's not a parking ticket or a guarantee for a rice cooker... but I think it's probably the genuine article as I suspect the wife would prefer me in the UK rather than at home in Korat. I guess I'll find out at the immigration desk a week on Monday.


The big oddysey news today is that the Rav4 has come through. The owner wasn't checking caller ID and ignoring my calls after all... he'd had a heart attack and was in hospital. And I don't mean that to sound flippant at all, he's a really lovely guy.

This doesn't only save me a thousand odd quid in hire car fees, it also means I don't have to spend 5 weeks sitting in Chitty's ejaculate-sodden seats while trying to explain to my 11 year-old daughter what all the stains were caused by.

An added bonus - I also now have a 5 year supply of wet-wipes that I won't have to pack and can leave at home for my personal use.

----------


## bsnub

> Lol- that’s some serious redaction


Enough that it is not worth posting.  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> knowing my luck the only bit I didn't redact will be my name.


Well it begins with นาง which means Mrs. 

So unless you're not telling us something....






> I don't even know what it looks like in Thai.


Start learning man. How long have ya been bumming around here on 4-6-8 week leaves!  :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

> This doesn't only save me a thousand odd quid in hire car fees, it also means I don't have to spend 5 weeks sitting in Chitty's ejaculate-sodden seats while trying to explain to my 11 year-old daughter what all the stains were caused by.
> 
> An added bonus - I also now have a 5 year supply of wet-wipes that I won't have to pack and can leave at home for my personal use.



Euuuuw.  :rofl:  



ps: it’s spelled odyssey

----------


## Mendip

^ FFS... so you mean this entire thread is spelt wrong?

WTF couldn't anyone say earlier?

I've been putting up with 'Oddysey' being underlined by a red squiggly line for weeks now, but assumed it was the American spell check. 

Sorry, but this has pissed me off. I hate bad spelling and always proof read my posts. 

Bollocks, I'm annoyed now. Could a mod please amend the thread title?

----------


## Edmond

In the words of Homer, Doh.

----------


## DrWilly

You’re welcome

----------


## Edmond

I for one have always thought Kingwilly was a fantastic poster, name, and person. A top bloke.

----------


## Joe 90

> Could a mod please amend the thread title?


A kind Mod in the house! :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

> I for one have always thought Kingwilly was a fantastic poster, name, and person. A top bloke.


Undoubtedly

----------


## Reg Dingle

> A kind Mod in the house


Looks like his Northern part of the tour is off now he's bummed a motor  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> Looks like his Northern part of the tour is off


probably just as well, its turned into a pilgrimage so it'll be a dire religious affair.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

Looks like Mendy's gonna arrive just after the heatwave :Smile: 

UK heatwave forecast: Britain set for 37C SCORCHER as Azores blast turns maps DARK RED | Weather | News | Express.co.uk

----------


## malmomike77

^ He's worried about his budget and thank God his mate is lending him is RAV4 from his deathbed, lets hope he doesn't have to fork out for a full body wax.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> lets hope he doesn't have to fork out for a full body wax.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Joe 90

> probably just as well, its turned into a pilgrimage so it'll be a dire religious affair.


 :smiley laughing: 

I know plenty of boozers that have previously been churches :Crucified: 

The rest of them are mosques now.

The only pilgrimage Mendip will be doing is cider and cheese tasting down south.

Warm beer and pies oop north.

What a calamity!

Btw don't pack those Jesus Creepers Mendip!
Peeps here dont believe in feeding the 5000 with 2 pla rin and quenching their thirst with 5 bottles of Ya Dong :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

Well, as it happens, in between catching snakes I was doing a bit of packing today.

I reckon that a nice pair of sandals will be just the job during Reg's southern heatwave. It'd probably be to cold up north to get them out. The geological hammer will of course be used to find a few nice ammonites down at Lyme Regis, but I guess it could also double up as protection if I ever do venture north of the Watford Gap.



And I found an old picture of my recently secured wheels. The daughter was obviously trying to write 'My Dad is a block head' but made the classic mistake of not planning out the word spacing first. Serves her right, the little shitehawk.

Chitty... would a car like this even be safe parked on the street up your way? I wouldn't want to wake up the first morning to find it abandoned and on bricks in some northern rural car park, and with squelchy seats to boot. 



To be honest, I'm not one to complain but the controls on the Rav4 are very similar but exactly opposite to those in my Vigo... so the first couple of weeks I'll constantly be switching on the windscreen wipers instead of the indicators, and vice versa. I'll just be getting the hang of it and it'll be time to come home, and so it'll start all over again. But at least you don't have to bother indicating in Thailand, I guess. There's no point in standing out.




> probably just as well, its turned into a pilgrimage so it'll be a dire religious affair.


Yes Mike, I'm much happier now that it's a pilgrimage as I was getting a little sick of constantly typing the 'O' word. Thanks moderator!

In addition to the West Bay and London trips, I also have planned a couple of nights down Portsmouth way to take in the HMS Victory (and get my selfie standing in front of it, to go with my selfie at the Battle of Trafalgar site, and of course there will be a selfie in front of Nelson's Column in Trafalgar Square). The plan on HMS Victory trip is to also take in Stonehenge and the famous Roman fort down at Fareham, the name of which escapes me just now. Also a hovercraft ride across to the Isle of Wight (that someone suggested)... all this is waiting on a mate with a son the same age as my daughter to confirm dates so I can make some bookings. Everyone is so non-committal it doesn't help the planning (hint hint Mr Dingle). 

There will be day trips around Bristol of course... the balloons, SS Great Britain, a walk across the Clifton Suspension Bridge and the daughter may get treated to an afternoon at Ashton Gate to see some top flight football. I reckon a day at Taunton Cricket Ground would be good for her as well... do they have wifi at cricket grounds these days?

It's all go.

----------


## malmomike77

> pposite to those in my Vigo... so the first couple of weeks I'll constantly be switching on the windscreen wipers instead of the indicators


I am the same with the car in Thailand.




> also take in Stonehenge


Its never impressed me, you used to be able to drive right past it and then i'd have advised you to drive past and on to Avebury. More stones and larger as a site, some huge and earth embankments which taken together make Stonehenge look a bit pitiful. Avebury has Silbury Hill too which is pretty impressive as largest artificial prehistoric mound in Europe and built 5000 years ago. 

If you are down in Dorset you have to try mackerel fishing and as i mentioned pop along to Chesil Beach for the Abbotsbury Swannery - a busy day but you can tick off quite a bit.

----------


## Ravers98

Hi Mendip, if you go to Stonehenge you could also visit Salisbury Cathedral.

Very old, and with much history. 

Salisbury Cathedral - Wikipedia

When they repaired foundation they use divers, it is underwater. 

Very interesting.  :Wavey:

----------


## Mendip

Mike and Ravers, good suggestions. Thanks.

Did you know that the foundations of Salisbury Cathedral are only 4 feet deep?

----------


## Mendip

Russian 'tourists' love the 123 metre spire as well!

----------


## malmomike77

> Did you know that the foundations of Salisbury Cathedral are only 4 feet deep?


Pop along to Winchester Cathedral, given the direction of travel on here of late the green in front is a great place we used to sit around and have a joint or two on a sunny afternoon. The Castle has Arthurs round table (replica but Mini won't know  :Smile:  )and the Wykeham Arms round the corner is a great little pub, Rob the owner(former) used to have a heated glass cabinet with Robs Bangers inside - really good sausages as beer snacks. The place had old school desks which included all the kids graffiti from the college.

https://www.wykehamarmswinchester.co.uk/gallery

----------


## Reg Dingle

> The daughter was obviously trying to write 'My Dad is a block head' but made the classic mistake of not planning out the word spacing first


It's perfectly spaced out and in context, albeit in American. :Smile: 

I think it translates to social misfit in English :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Everyone is so non-committal it doesn't help the planning (hint hint Mr Dingle)


The Scottish cunto boss at work refused my Month off in December, so I tried to get some holiday in July or August but all the holidays have been fukkin allocated.

I still get a couple of days off a week.
Where's that planner you put on here?
I'll have a look how they tally up with my days off.
The time is flying past this year.

I'll fix those fukkers at work. I haven't had covid or anxiety and depression yet :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> I'll fix those fukkers at work. I haven't had covid or anxiety and depression yet


It's only 5 days off now for Covid, I got 3 bouts of it last year and had 30 days off over the Summer. :bananaman:

----------


## taxexile

> Did you know that the foundations of Salisbury Cathedral are only 4 feet deep?


..... the cathedral also houses englands oldest working clock.




> The Salisbury Cathedral clock is a large iron-framed tower clock without a dial, in Salisbury Cathedral, England. Thought to date from about 1386, it is a well-preserved example of the earliest type of mechanical clock, called verge and foliot clocks, and is said to be the oldest working clock in the world,[1] although similar claims are made for other clocks. Previously in a bell-tower which was demolished in 1790, the clock was restored to working condition in 1956 and is on display in the North nave aisle of the cathedral, close to the West front.
> 
> 
> The clock was re-discovered in 1928, set aside in the cathedral tower. At that time it had a pendulum, which appeared to have been installed at a later date, replacing a verge and foliot. The clock was restored in 1956, and a reproduction verge and foliot were installed. There were no drawings or documents available, and it is possible that the original foliot and verge escapement did not look exactly like the one now installed in the clock.
> 
> The striking train of the clock is believed to be original.
> 
> Like many of these more practical devices, its main purpose was to strike a bell at precise times. It probably did not have a dial. The wheels and gears are mounted in a four-post wrought iron frame. The framework is held together with metal wedged tenons, rather than with nuts and bolts (which had not been invented).
> 
> ...

----------


## malmomike77

> but all the holidays have been fukkin allocated.


Sick, its a right and if you don't take it they'll take it off you.

----------


## malmomike77

> It's only 5 days off now for Covid, I got 3 bouts of it last year and had 30 days off over the Summer


That'll be enough for Mendip, his pocket won't stand Dill dodging rounds any longer than 4-5 days.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> That'll be enough for Mendip, his pocket won't stand Dill dodging rounds any longer than 4-5 days.


It'll be more fierce than russian roulette with a loaded gun!

As soon as its empty glass time there will be a race for the toilets and a battle of wills as to who can hold out the longest :smiley laughing:

----------


## DrWilly

> The daughter was obviously trying to write 'My Dad is a block head' but made the classic mistake of not planning out the word spacing first. Serves her right, the little shitehawk.


I think she wrote "My Dad is a dork" but mixed up her d and b

----------


## Joe 90

Here you go Dill, get onit like a canal barges bonnet...

Covid infections in the UK jump by 32% in a week, latest data from the Office for National Statistics shows
Weekly coronavirus figures show 2.3m infections were recorded in the week to 24 June up from 1.7m the week before
This is the highest estimate for total infections since late April but the impact on hospitals remains limited
Across the UK, one in 30 people in England and Wales, one in 25 in Northern Ireland and one in 18 in Scotland have the virus
Two sub-variants of Omicron - called BA.4 and BA.5 - are driving new infections in the UK and elsewhere
People can catch the newer variants even if they have had coronavirus recently
But vaccines are still offering strong protection against severe illness and the new variants are not thought to be any more dangerous

5 days sick leave :bananaman: q

----------


## Reg Dingle

> As soon as its empty glass time there will be a race for the toilets


You know all the tricks eh? :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> You know all the tricks eh?


This tight fooker from work last month conveniently told us his chipnpin card wasn't working,  twat ponsed drinks all night of most apart from me at a tenner a drink.
Although I did catch him mine sweeping my expensive pint on return from the toilets.

I wouldn't mind but he was the wealthiest cvnt there and has six holidays a year also a brand new Audi S3 on his drive.

----------


## Mendip

> Pop along to Winchester Cathedral,





> ..... the cathedral also houses englands oldest working clock.
> 
> Two more good suggestions, thanks guys. And visiting both cathedrals seems very fitting now that this has turned into a pilgrimage.





> I still get a couple of days off a week.
> Where's that planner you put on here?
> I'll have a look how they tally up with my days off.
> The time is flying past this year.
> 
> I'll fix those fukkers at work. I haven't had covid or anxiety and depression yet


Here ya go... the latest version. And I would say that a couple of days sitting on the peg down in the bilges will pretty much ensure anxiety and depression.

----------


## malmomike77

You've got loads of time, of course the odd day or two will need to be allocated for Mini and Gran, give you some "Me" time in a decent cider house and relive the times you used to creep home to bed as 1am - can you remember which stair treads creak  :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

This 'pilgrimage', mods.

No.

----------


## malmomike77

You mentioned hovercraft and Isle of Wight, a great experience for Mini. I still remember going across the channel in those massive ones, fantastic but noisy. The Island is worth a day or two or why not go to Jersey, Gerry Durrel's zoo there is one of the best, with great conservation and the orangutans are brilliant.

----------


## cyrille

> Gerry Durrel.


Good ole Jezza!

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I would say that a couple of days sitting on the peg down in the bilges will pretty much ensure anxiety and depression.


Joe's had enough time off work, can we not move the peg to top deck?

Fark you land on Tuesday
That went quick.
So you've just got 2 trips planned so far?

Pocahontas is going camping with the girl guides soon, gotta find out when that is.

I have one whole weekend off in your time here, your last weekend but that doesn't matter, kids break up... erm, yeah I'll find that out too.

You're coming at a great time, weather wise.

----------


## CalEden

Mendip, don't pack your Geo hammer in your carryon. Could you please knock off a piece of Stonehedge for me? Thank you!

----------


## Reg Dingle

I gotta get my thinking cap on for some day tours.

How about the Hook Norton brewery or seeing where Cyrille grew up? :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> How about the Hook Norton brewery or seeing where Cyrille grew up?


your geography is off but its a great brewery and beer, old hooky

----------


## malmomike77

> How about the Hook Norton brewery


Better, go to Wadworth in Devizes and take Mini to see the Shire Horses, they are great so gentle and still deliver around the town.

The cooper in Waddies still makes real barrels himself.

They turn them out every spring up the road from where i lived and i used to try to get to see it, a few tonnes of horse jumping around like foals.






https://www.wadworth.co.uk/brewery-tap-shop/the-wadworth-shires

----------


## Joe 90

Madness playing live on Saturday the 16th at Haydock park oop norf.

Get some nutty northern culture down ya! :bananaman: 

Pack your Fez as well :Smile: 




It'll make Hal homesick. :smiley laughing:

----------


## Joe 90

> How about the Hook Norton brewery


Not far from Oxford either, see some decent architecture and have a bike ride around the city :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> seeing where Cyrille grew up?


He grew up? :Smile: 

If you fancy giving you liver and kidneys a break then...

The Top 10 Most Dangerous Cities for Drinking Culture

London – 0/80 Leeds – 11/80 Bristol – 16.6/80 Manchester – 17.1/80Liverpool – 19.9/80Birmingham – 22.3/80Newcastle – 25.6/80 Nottingham – 31.1/80Sheffield -31.2/80Brighton -32/80


Manchester ranked amongst worst in the country for &#39;dangerous drinking&#39;

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Not far from Oxford either, see some decent architecture and have a bike ride around the city


After 18 pints?

Stick to navigating that peg up the  caboose  mate :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> This 'pilgrimage', mods.
> 
> No.


There is quite a religious feel to the thread now which I must admit wasn't the original intention.

Maybe I should have just called it a 'holiday'? 

I thought 'Odyssey' was pretty good and made the thread stand out a bit, but it's such a b@stard to spell.





> You mentioned hovercraft and Isle of Wight, a great experience for Mini. I still remember going across the channel in those massive ones, fantastic but noisy. The Island is worth a day or two or why not go to Jersey, Gerry Durrel's zoo there is one of the best, with great conservation and the orangutans are brilliant.


I think Jersey will be a rip too far. As you mentioned, there will be a fair bit of Granddaughter/Grandmother time allocated, which I'm hoping will also free me up to re-discover real ale. I have two sisters and their various husbands/offspring who I guess we should also spend some time with.

One on my 'bucket list' is to see orangutans in the wild and I'm considering a personal trip to Borneo at the end of the year... no family, just me to give me a break. I have a good Indonesian friend who I'm hoping may also come along as it would be good to have a translator. We're also thinking of combining it with a trip to Komodo Island.





> So you've just got 2 trips planned so far?
> 
> I have one whole weekend off in your time here, your last weekend but that doesn't matter, kids break up... erm, yeah I'll find that out too.


Yeah, just two definite trips so far. I'm hoping to ink in the 'Stonehenge/Salisbury/HMS Victory/hovercraft/Isle of Wight trip/Fareham Fort' leg soon but can already see that will be difficult to fit in over a weekend.





> Mendip, don't pack your Geo hammer in your carryon. Could you please knock off a piece of Stonehedge for me? Thank you!


It'll be wrapped in my clothes and checked in Cal. I'm hoping for a chunk of Salisbury Cathedral as well... I'll see what I can do.





> Better, go to Wadworth in Devizes and take Mini to see the Shire Horses, they are great so gentle and still deliver around the town.
> 
> The cooper in Waddies still makes real barrels himself.



This will go on the 'reserve' list Mike, many thanks, it looks great.

I can already see a problem in that I'll be visiting all these great places but will be driving so won't be able to fully enjoy. Maybe Chitty could get off that peg and be my driver for a few days? He'd probably appreciate sitting on dry upholstery.

I have a good friend who lives in Kingsbury Episcopi in south Somerset. I'll be going down for a visit and he mentioned Burrow Hill cider farm is well worth a visit... but again, I won't be able to sample. He also suggested Boddington Tank Museum, Corfe Castle at Durdle Door, Portland Bill and the Jailhouse Cafe at the old prison and your swan place. Some of this I can do as part of our Dorset three days, depending on the weather. I'm already thinking of extending those three days if the weather's nice... if there's availability of course.

The Somerset Cider Brandy Company — Burrow Hill Cider





> Madness playing live on Saturday the 16th at Haydock park oop norf.
> Pack your Fez as well


This has also gone on the reserve list, but two Fezs (Fezi?) packed just in case. I wouldn't want the daughter to get jealous.

We can eat out first? My treat!

----------


## cyrille

> Get some nutty northern culture down ya!


Camden?

----------


## malmomike77

> One on my 'bucket list' is to see orangutans in the wild and I'm considering a personal trip to Borneo at the end of the year... no family, just me to give me a break.


Sepilok, a great trip but also sad due to the deforestation and the fact there are so many rescued and orphaned babies.




> He also suggested Boddington Tank Museum


I think you mean Bovington, not the beer  :Smile:

----------


## aging one

The new thread title is better. Mendip and his Jesus sandals on a pilgrimage. :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> The new thread title is better. Mendip and his Jesus sandals on a pilgrimage.


I think he should stop shaving and cutting his hair to add to the religious imagery when married up to the sandals.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah well, I'm going for a 70 Baht special tomorrow morning. That should cover me for the entire pilgrimage.

Anyway, it all starts tomorrow and I'm all set.

I spent an hour at Korat's 'Flower Market' with the daughter yesterday to get some goodies, and this is what the cost of nearly five weeks hire of a Rav4 looks like. The guy who I borrow the car from's son is married to a Thai, by way of explanation.



I've also nearly completed the itinerary. There's plenty of other stuff planned that doesn't require booking and shit. The 'HMS Victory' couple of days I hope will also include Stonehenge, Alvebury and a hovercraft to the Isle of Wight. I'm also thinking of extending the West Bay three nights if the weather is good. I've bought a new geological hammer on Amazon and it will be waiting at my mum's house. A full day at Lyme Regis is a must.



I've told the daughter that this will be an activity holiday, up early and I won't be drinking anything in the evenings when we stay at my mum's house. And then, today as I was asking me mum to get in some back bacon and decent sausages for Tuesday's breakfast, I heard meself ask for a four-pack of Thatchers Gold. It just happened. Weird.

----------


## malmomike77

I just checked for you and teh IOW garlic festival is cancelled again this year, shame as if you are there its worth the visit. If you are across and stay a night or two you could fit in the Fishing Trip, this lot I used in the past and its mackerel season

https://www.blackrockcharters.co.uk/main/

----------


## Mendip

^ excellent, thanks.

----------


## Mendip

Every good pilgrimage starts with a haircut and no way was I going to start our journey across southern England with a homemade effort so I splashed out today. All I hear about is how prices are going up and they're not wrong. I used to get the top of the range for 60 Baht.

A linguist like Edmond doubtless knows what I got for my 100 Baht... yeah, I even left a 20 Baht tip!

----------


## aging one

They ought to raise the price again and get some cleaners in with the extra bucks. My shop charges the same and I tip the same. Have one heck of a good time Mendy. Please remember your travel companion is considerably younger than you. Be prepared for a few deep breaths during your journey.

----------


## Edmond

> Edmond doubtless knows what I got for my 100 Baht


Traces of snot and fecal matter left on your neck and ears?  :Smile:

----------


## PAG

Mid Devon Show in Tiverton on 23rd July could be worth a look, even if back in Somerset, not far down the M5.

The Mid Devon Show - One of Devon's Best Days Out

as well as a festival in Seaton (not far from Lyme Regis) on 23/24 July.

Natural Seaton Festival | Presented by Seaton Tramway | East Devon

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Thanks AO... the daughter is already doing my head in and we haven't left Korat yet. 

^^ Fecal matter I can understand, but snot on my neck and ears... yuck!

^ Thanks PAG, I'll look into it. I'm already thinking of extending the Dorset trip as the weather is looking so good.

----------


## hallelujah

Are you gonna find time to get down to your local river or pond?





Given your itinerary, you could even do a bit of sea fishing, couldn't you?

----------


## Mendip

My coarse and fly fishing tackle has been sat in my parent's garage for the past 35 years but I think it may be a bit degraded by now. I'd love a day's fly fishing on Blagdon Lake but don't really know if it will be possible. 

It looks like mackerel fishing on the south coast.

----------


## bsnub

> My coarse and fly fishing tackle has been sat in my parent's garage for the past 35 years but I think it may be a bit degraded by now.


That is an understatement of epic proportions.  :Smile:

----------


## BLD

Hey mendy. Is this the first time your daughter has met yer folks in blighty?  If so it's gotta be a pretty special time for all of you. And some fantastic memories  for your daughter

----------


## Edmond

> sat in my parent's garage for the past 35 years


So just like Snub, then.  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> So just like Snub, then.


You must be fuming over the fact that I exposed you as a little Irish leprechaun.

You are following me around like a little bitch these days. 

 :smiley laughing: 

I own you runt.

----------


## Edmond

> it may be a bit degraded by now.


So just like Snub, then.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Every good pilgrimage starts with a haircut and no way was I going to start our journey across southern England with a homemade effort so I splashed out today. All I hear about is how prices are going up and they're not wrong. I used to get the top of the range for 60 Baht.
> 
> A linguist like Edmond doubtless knows what I got for my 100 Baht... yeah, I even left a 20 Baht tip!


I remember what I used to get for 1 pound 50 in Thailand, one side lower than the other.
Do you want anything on it sir?
Yeah a pair of knickers cus you've made me look like a kunt :Smile: 

I'd imagine the Turkish barbers here would have a field day with you and wouldn't know where to stop shaving :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I'd rather you weren't imagining things like that.

When I first moved to Korat I was getting 65 Baht to my pound and my 'barber' only charged 60 Baht for a quick trim... happy days. 

With the plummeted pound and inflation, my 'haircuts' now cost well  over 2 quid with the tip.  And that's without any shoulder massage nonsense. Boris gets no sympathy from me.

And despite meself I'd just like to give Edmond a shout out. Immigration were all over this permission form I got from the Amphur allowing me to take the daughter out of Thailand without the missus. No chance without it. Green owed!  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Safe journey bud

----------


## Topper

> Immigration were all over this permission form I got from the Amphur allowing me to take the daughter out of Thailand without the missus.


Are you going to need something like that to leave England with her?

----------


## Mendip

> Hey mendy. Is this the first time your daughter has met yer folks in blighty?


She's been over a few times, the firstcouple while her Grandfather was still alive, but always at Christmas. This is her first trip over for 3 years and will be her first visit in the summer. I'm hoping it will be special for her.




> ^ Safe journey bud


Thanks mate. I hope your stomach sorts itself out.





> Are you going to need something like that to leave England with her?


I hope not, but seeing as we'll be on the return leg I hopt it'll be ok. I wrote a letter the missus signed and have copies of a load of documents, but to be stranded in the UK wouldn't be the end of the world.

----------


## Edmond

> Are you going to need something like that to leave England with her?


I forgot to mention that part to him.


Yup, you'll need to fly her mother out with return flights from Thailand to England if you want to get the kid back.  :Smile: 




Please respect the laws of Brexit.

----------


## DrWilly

Try getting your haircut in UK if you think Korat is expensive. Last haircut I did in Melbourne was $65 I was seething.

----------


## Edmond

> Try getting your haircut in UK if you think Korat is expensive. Last haircut I did in Melbourne was $65 I was seething.


Last time I went west I had a small dental issue, the price of just consulting the dentist, with no work done, could have bought a convertible Saab.

----------


## DrWilly

> Try getting your haircut in UK if you think Korat is expensive. Last haircut I did in Melbourne was $65 I was seething.


but then I remembered not a TEFLr and I can afford it, so I calmed down a bit.

----------


## Reg Dingle

About 15 quid for a haircut here  You can buy a pair of Wahl clippers for that

Wait till Mendy sees the price of fuel. His poor hospital stricken mate wont be getting it back with a full tank :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> Wait till Mendy sees the price of fuel. His poor hospital stricken mate wont be getting it back with a full tank


He'll be looking for a hoes for sure

----------


## Edmond

> About 15 quid for a haircut here  You can buy a pair of Wahl clippers for that
> 
> Wait till Mendy sees the price of fuel. His poor hospital stricken mate wont be getting it back with a full tank


You able to set up a rort with your mates where they siphon off the diesel from your buses to sell on the sly, or do the companies keep track of fuel consumption?

----------


## Joe 90

> Last time I went west I had a small dental issue, the price of just consulting the dentist, with no work done, could have bought a convertible Saab.


Funny fvcker :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Wait till Mendy sees the price of fuel. His poor hospital stricken mate wont be getting it back with a full tank


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## taxexile

> Last time I went west I had a small dental issue, the price of just consulting the dentist, with no work done, could have bought a convertible Saab.


highly skilled professionals, deserve every penny, wouldn't be where i am today, etc. .......so pay up and be true to your teeth or they will be false to you!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> highly skilled professionals, deserve every penny


The Thai/Malaysian or any other country with non robbing bastards away from the UK do.

I paid 75 quid to have the wife's teeth cleaned. She came back and they'd only done the left side and booked her another appointment for 3 weeks later to have the other side done for another 75 buff. Thieving kunts.

150 quid for an easy hour of just scraping out chilis and my jizz. :Smile:

----------


## taxexile

.... and how much for a meathead plumber to come round for an hour to unblock your karsey or change a tap?

comparatively dentistry is good value.

anyway, if you clean your teeth properly and regularly you shouldnt need such extensive "cleaning", and it sound more like treatment of gum disease, e.g. periodontitis, than a straightforward scaling and polishing.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ She mentioned something about calcius or something

 Theyre not even dentists are they? Those hygienists.

----------


## taxexile

calculus, hard deposits of calcium. usually behind the lower incisors and upper molars

hygienists often do the removal of calculus, but if it has built up for a long time and affected the gums then the dentist needs to have a look. 

in this age of covid and with the fine sprays and mists that the dental equipment produces, the department of health health  have decreed that full ppe needs to be worn by the operators and the room needs to be fully disinfected after every patient, that all takes time and ££££££. its ridiculous.

and as with everything, the punter pays.

----------


## Joe 90

> could have bought a convertible Saab.


It's gone up in value already,  a fine investment. 
Considering buying a couple more, better than money in the bank.

Back on topic, has Mendip landed yet and got on the cider to recover from paying £2 for a trolley at Bristol airport.

----------


## malmomike77

^ he's got a porter with him now

----------


## Mendip

> Wait till Mendy sees the price of fuel. His poor hospital stricken mate wont be getting it back with a full tank


One thing I never complain about is the price of fuel. In fact, there's not much I complain about if truth be known. I'm a pretty easy going chap.





> 150 quid for an easy hour of just scraping out chilis and my jizz.





> .... and how much for a meathead plumber to come round for an hour to unblock your karsey...?


Dentistry and plumbing... not so very different!  :Smile: 





> Back on topic, has Mendip landed yet and got on the cider to recover from paying £2 for a trolley at Bristol airport.


It never fails to piss me off... but a wise man pays the 2 Euro option and saves 31 pence!



And this is something else at Bristol as well... the thieving b@stards. Three quid to charge your phone. It won't be long until they charge to breathe the fine West Country air.



My only other gripe about the travel was finding Suvarnabhumi has gone all Western and installed a load of self service machines. I bloody hate them and just stand scratching my head until an attractive helper comes along to show me the way.



KLM offered up the usual dire food with plastic cutlery, but we had a Korat Chef steak and kidney pie each to keep us going and besides, nothing can come close to my recent awful experience with Lufthansa (who I am still waiting to hear from, btw).

There were big queues for security at AMS but we got through just in the nick of time to pick up a bottle of duty free and then on to the gate for Bristol. Even the luggage arrived as well... can't complain.

And, a rare piece of luck at Bristol that really cheered me up and put a smile on my face for the first day of the pilgrimage. Almost a miracle I would say... I stopped off at the toilets on the way to immigration and noticed a small roll of bank notes on the floor, with the number '100' shining out at me. I did the old step on it and pretend to tie my shoe laces trick thinking it was maybe on of those fabled 100 Euro notes. Sadly it wasn't, but I pocketed no less than 150 Mexican Pesos. What they were doing on the floor of a Bristol Airport toilet I have no idea.



And that's it. Let the pilgrimage begin! 

After watching a beautiful plump, safe, wood pigeon in the garden while chatting to my mum, my sister popped around with my niece and took the daughter down to the village cafe. My mum had to pop out to see a friend and by 2pm I had the place to meself... what to do?

Peace and quiet, and my first tin of Thatchers only 4 hours after arrival.

Bliss.

----------


## malmomike77

Glad you both landed safely, let the fun begin.

----------


## hallelujah

> Glad you both landed safely, let the fun begin.


I can't wait for this thread.

Great weather ahead, and there is nothing like a long, hot summer's day at home.

The problem is we don't usually get that many, but the stars have aligned for Mendip and little Miss Mendip!




> After watching a beautiful plump, safe, wood pigeon in the garden while chatting to my mum, my sister popped around with my niece and took the daughter down to the village cafe. My mum had to pop out to see a friend and by 2pm I had the place to meself... what to do?
> 
> Peace and quiet, and my first tin of Thatchers only 4 hours after arrival.
> 
> Bliss.


I bet they are made up to see her. Especially your mum.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I pocketed no less than 150 Mexican Pesos. What they were doing on the floor of a Bristol Airport toilet I have no idea.


Look like they've been rolled up by Pedro and his nervous mate Pablo who've indulged in a spot of boofing in trap 2 to summon up the balls to stroll through immigration.

Hal knows :Smile: 


Welcome to Blighty. What's for dinner?

----------


## Bonecollector

Did you literally bring your Leo beer glass with you? legendary Mendip legendary! Have fun you two!

ahhhh Mendip Hills ----- Mendy, now I see!

----------


## DrWilly

Waited four hours to have a drink?? Madness.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ he's a decent responsible family man 

^^Most likely swiped it from the lounge in Swampy.

----------


## DrWilly

When wil the jet lag hit?

----------


## Reg Dingle

> When wil the jet lag hit?


At some point when it's his round :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

> At some point when it's his round



Harsh. Mendy has never indicated he is cheap, well; apart from the yah dong. And the hotels. And the thrift clothes. And the peas. Besides he drinks alone. Bit hard to skip your round when you’re boozing on your lonesome. Though, suppose he could always try.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ There's his Welsh mate and the gardener and his ya dong stash.

But as beer glasses go, there's an unwritten rule that if it costs more than a fiver a pint then the glass is free, right?

I can imagine him getting back to Korat and opening his suitcase full of Stella, peroni and Thatchers green goblin glasses and it all looking like Mike's shaken wardrobe. :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

> ^ There's his Welsh mate and the gardener and his ya dong stash.
> 
> But as beer glasses go, there's an unwritten rule that if it costs more than a fiver a pint then the glass is free, right?
> 
> I can imagine him getting back to Korat and opening his suitcase full of Stella, peroni and Thatchers green goblin glasses and it all looking like Mike's shaken wardrobe.




Tinkle, tinkle tinkle.  :rofl:

----------


## DrWilly

> But as beer glasses go, there's an unwritten rule that if it costs more than a fiver a pint then the glass is free, right?



One my locals here beer glasses with this quite nice looking blue dash streak through the glass. I’ll try get a pic. Anyway couple of the lads liked them and each nicked one on different occasions. One afternoon we started drinking at the bbq around midday, ended at the local around 6:00ish and then gina till close. The gins hit one mate harder than the rest of us and he had to be helped home, literally carried him in. Fookin weighed a tonne: 

Anyway; the next day his ice box he brought has been left somewhere. So he’s asking us to check. Sure enough, he carried from bbq to bar and then left it in the bar. They were kind enough to look after it: they even opened it to put his bread in the fridge. But they also saw he had nicked a glass. So the manager says you didn’t have to nick it, we get them free..: took all the fun out of it! Made them worthless to the boys!

----------


## Reg Dingle

It's all good fun until you get your right hand macheted off :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

Did someone say they had spare glasses?

----------


## Joe 90

> It's all good fun until you get your right hand macheted off


Not bad for an amateur,   there's the ones in my Mancave on top of this lot...

----------


## Reg Dingle

Mine were from today's pub lunch :Smile: 

^ Good form

----------


## Joe 90

> Mine were from today's pub lunch
> 
> ^ Good form


 :smiley laughing: 

I'm amazed the Stella Artois glasses are still in one piece.
Mine always get smashed  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Mine always get smashed



Like their owner.

----------


## taxexile

> Dentistry and plumbing... not so very different!


more like precision mini carpentry or watch-repairing actually..... and welcome to blighty.

----------


## Joe 90

> Like their owner.


We do not own the glass!

We are merely a custodian of said drinking vessel!

Till it smashes or is mineswept by another custodian. 

#longlivethepisshead

Did I ever mention that time I was pissed off with minesweepers?

To cut a long story short...

Minesweeping was endemic in the early 90's in Manchester as you are no doubt aware.  :Smile: 

A little naive to the whole minesweeping game and after suffering the misfortune of being mindswept three times in one night  I thought enough is enough!

Apparently the whole idea and game for the minesweeper was to get pissed for free.
They would stalk their prey at the bar like a hyena. 
As soon as the customer had set the drinks down and been distracted then the minesweeper struck with the ruthlessness and thirst of a dehydrated Ethiopian in the eighties with monstrous pierced ears ringing a Bob Geldof song on repeat.

This particular night I noticed several "hyenas" and witnessed their tactics , they appeared to have one tactic in common they all downed their stolen drinks in one!

I therefore concluded that the only course of action was revenge!

I took an empty pint glass into the gents and filled it to the brim with steaming frothing piss.

I sat it down on a table near the dancefloor with a view of it in the mirror on the wall then I turned my back.

Within a minute a hyena struck wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt and sporting a beer belly of someone 20 years his senior. 

He downed it in one! 
He stood and stared at the glass briefly, I thought I may have been rumbled but no.
He staggered of in search of new prey. :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

:smiley laughing:  brilliant

----------


## DrWilly

^^ brilliant!

----------


## BLD

[QUOTE=taxexile;4412354]highly skilled professionals, deserve every penny, wouldn't be where i am today, etc QUOTE]What, in a bedsit in pattaya ? Being a miserable coonty.

----------


## BLD

> Peace and quiet, and my first tin of Thatchers only 4 hours after arrival.
> 
> Bliss.


Wow. Only 4 hours in and your necking a can of Thatcher's got some Mexican pesos to hoover up Bristol's finest Charlie and you can read up on ferrets. Fantastic start

----------


## Joe 90

Ferrets by Brian Plumber  :smiley laughing: 

FFS how's this thread gonna pan out? :bananaman:

----------


## bsnub

> I took an empty pint glass into the gents and filled it to the brim with steaming frothing piss.
> 
> I sat it down on a table near the dancefloor with a view of it in the mirror on the wall then I turned my back.
> 
> Within a minute a hyena struck wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt and sporting a beer belly of someone 20 years his senior.
> 
> He downed it in one!
> He stood and stared at the glass briefly, I thought I may have been rumbled but no.
> He staggered of in search of new prey.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

> I bet they are made up to see her. Especially your mum.


Yes, it was quite something to see my daughter meet her Grandmother yesterday. Mini hasn't been over for nearly three years due to Covid and during that time she has shot up by around a foot I reckon. Now she's 5'3" and on the cusp of teenagerhood whereas three years ago she was still a cute little girl. It was great to see her meet up with her aunt and favourite cousin as well.

And it was also great when everyone went out and left me in peace for a while!  :Smile:  I can only do so much of this family stuff in one go... maybe I've spent too long in Isaan sitting alone with my dogs.





> Did you literally bring your Leo beer glass with you? legendary Mendip legendary! Have fun you two!


The Leo glass has been here for a few years now and I forget how it arrived. I can only think that one time we stayed in a hotel the night before a day flight coming over and I must have popped down to the hotel bar, etc...





> Waited four hours to have a drink?? Madness.


I know, and I didn't even touch my bottle of duty free Bowmore. In fact I don't like to drink much in front of my mum because she's tea-total and worries about my alcohol consumption... and my weight and my diet and my job and just about anything else for that matter. I'll be driving most days while over and hope to just have a couple in the evenings while having active days. I have to be fair to the daughter.





> ^ There's his Welsh mate and the gardener and his ya dong stash.


A small story about my Welsh mate... There was a chance we were going to meet up over the next month in the UK as he has a trip planned over with his wife and son in a couple of weeks time. He's been waiting an age for his boy's UK passport to arrive because as everyone knows there are such huge delays in UK passport processing times post Covid. The passport finally arrived last week after about ten weeks and they'd entered the year of birth wrong, by two years. He's now trying to get this sorted out in two weeks... hope that's possible but I have my doubts.


Anyway, I've been here in Blighty for less than a day and have already identified a problem... the bloody weather! 

It is great to arrive in a heatwave, but wall to wall carpets, heavy curtains and small opening windows certainly ain't conducive to a good night's sleep. Aircon isn't a thing in the UK and to be fair it's rarely needed but our bedroom was as hot and stuffy as hell last night and I've been awake since 4am... and also there's this kind of musty, fruity smell but I think that must be the cider! We're in a bungalow and I can't go along to the kitchen at 4am for a cup of tea cos the dog sleeps on my mum's bed and will start barking and wake everyone up. Bloody dog.

Top of my list today is a pedestal fan. And maybe some kind of muzzle for the dog.

And there lies a second problem... my car has been delayed until Thursday and my mum wants to take us for a drive today... a kind gesture but she's 86 and I'm dreading it. These 'drives' certainly aren't for the faint hearted and I'll be fighting me daughter for the back seat.

----------


## DrWilly

Tell her you'd much rather a stroll. Getting healthy and all that.

----------


## Neverna

> He downed it in one! 
> He stood and stared at the glass briefly, I thought I may have been rumbled but no.


I bet he thought: "This tastes like warm piss!" 

Obviously that's par for the course oop north.   :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

> Tell her you'd much rather a stroll. Getting healthy and all that.


Yeah a nice 5mile stroll with an 86year old. Great idea.

----------


## malmomike77

> And there lies a second problem... my car has been delayed until Thursday and my mum wants to take us for a drive today... a kind gesture but she's 86 and I'm dreading it.


Only one day, man up. You itinerary still seems to have a lot of holes in it to fill which is either going to give you a lot of flexibility or a larger hotel bill - time will tell.  :Smile: 

EDIT

Looking forward to the video clip of you being driven by your mum and screaming in a Somerset accent.

----------


## BLD

> Ferrets by Brian Plumber 
> 
> FFS how's this thread gonna pan out?


Don't worry, Brian's the full bottle on ferret's. What could possibly go wrong

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I don't like to drink much in front of my mum because she's tea-total and worries about my alcohol consumption... and my weight and my diet and my job and just about anything else for that matter. I'll be driving most days


Why don't you drive your Mother's car?

It's almost as though she doesn't trust you :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Why don't you drive your Mother's car?
> 
> It's almost as though she doesn't trust you


Are you implying that our Mendy is a shit driver? 


 :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Ferrets by Brian Plumber 
> 
> FFS how's this thread gonna pan out?


I loved the ferrets book on his table. Soooooo wurzel world. :smiley laughing:

----------


## aging one

Anybody that can drive 50-80k a day through Thai drivers and traffic is going to be a driver of drivers. :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Are you implying that our Mendy is a shit driver?


But that's oilroit... cus he carn drive a tractorrr

----------


## malmomike77

> But that's oilroit... cus he carn drive a tractorrr


you betwaddled, youm must be um grockle cuz its a tracor weem ryde on yer. Anyways, nuff yer vlother i gotst tebe ambl.

----------


## PAG

> Anyway, I've been here in Blighty for less than a day and have already identified a problem... the bloody weather! 
> 
> It is great to arrive in a heatwave, but wall to wall carpets, heavy curtains and small opening windows certainly ain't conducive to a good night's sleep. Aircon isn't a thing in the UK and to be fair it's rarely needed but our bedroom was as hot and stuffy as hell last night and I've been awake since 4am... and also there's this kind of musty, fruity smell but I think that must be the cider! We're in a bungalow and I can't go along to the kitchen at 4am for a cup of tea cos the dog sleeps on my mum's bed and will start barking and wake everyone up. Bloody dog.
> 
> Top of my list today is a pedestal fan. And maybe some kind of muzzle for the dog.

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

^^ That was eerily similar to the state of my bed this morning PAG, although my middle sweat stain was a bit longer than that, if you know what I mean.

After waking at 4am today I watched around 5 episodes of Cheers before risking getting up and waking the household. My mum seems to like sleeping in these days which will be a problem for me... I like be up early this time of year. Around 7am I dragged the daughter down to the river to see if there were any trout about. We passed this patch of 're-wilding' which is a new thing for me. A great idea but depressing to see that someone has deliberately driven up onto the verge and over the bramble barrier put in to protect the new wild patch.



A weeping willow.



Around 40 years ago I caught a 3lb rainbow trout that had escaped from Blagdon Lake during a flood in this pool. Fishing isn't allowed on this stretch but I used to creep down in the evening from the other side of the river. Today I'd love to cast over a free-lined worm but it would mean fixing up all my tackle and I think now that I'm approaching middle age I would look a bit odd crawling through a field down to the river at dusk. All I could see were a few fingerling brown trout, anyway.



And a wonderful thing about the UK... sausages and back bacon, any time, any place.

When we returned from the walk I transformed this...



... into this. What I'd give for an unlimited choice of sausages and back bacon in Korat.







> Why don't you drive your Mother's car?
> 
> It's almost as though she doesn't trust you


My mum needs her car for her various activities, but yes, she doesn't really trust me anyway. I may be a fully grown adult but back here I'm treated like a child again. It's getting a bit frustrating to be honest.

Our threatened 'drive' happened and we went to Clevedon for a couple of hours. My mum may drive at a snail's pace and do emergency stops every time a car approaches from the opposite direction but she has this unnerving habit of cutting corners. In Clevedon she cut straight across two lanes on a roundabout and it was absolutely petrifying, but we survived unscathed.

We eventually managed to find somewhere to park on Clevedon sea front and I went with the daughter for a walk along the famous Clevedon Pier. My mum didn't want to come so waited in the car.

But £6.20 for the two of us to walk along the pier... bollocks to that. A 4-pack of Thatchers is only £4.50. The daughter wasn't keen, anyway.



There's the pier in all it's glory with Wales in the background.



The best bit about Clevedon was popping into Tesco. It takes me 3 hours to make a trifle in Korat but here you can just pick one up, ready made. Real cream as well.



The second walk of the day... I'm looking forward to picking up the car tomorrow and getting mobile. It won't be an old banger like this.



The Mendip Hills in the background.



The trees along the left of this picture line the river I was hoping to catch a trout in but it's become so overgrown you can't get anywhere near the water. I spent half my childhood fishing along here but I don't think I'll ever be doing it again. This will have to remain a memory.



The field has twp crops... a 5 metre wide perimeter of one crops surrounding the main crop. I sent the daughter in to collect a few ears of the inner crop so I could have a look.



I'm sure I should know this, but why? Pest control, pollination aid?



The ears on the left are the inner crop, on the right the outer perimeter. Anyone know anything?



Anyway, as I pondered over that the Grandmother and Granddaughter started making cup cakes together, thus freeing me up for an hour or so.

I looked through another book while admiring my new geological hammer that arrived in the post today. It may seem a bit flash having two geological hammers spread across two continents but we international geologists can be a bit decadent at times. I decided against bringing over my Thai hammer in favour of getting a second one which will stay here. That's an extra pound and a half of sausages I can take home next month!



It's not all cider and skittles though... I've just heard that the trains are striking on July 27th which may be the first of many strikes.

FFS... fingers crossed.

----------


## Looper

Thread of the year brewing already and it has only just set sail...

Safe travels to you and the mini on the epic Odyssean pilgrimage Mendy

Enthralling tales are sure to ensue

 :UK:

----------


## DrWilly

You didnt pay the £6 to walk on the pier? Your daughter will feel like shes not worth it.

----------


## Joe 90

Tales of rat hunting man a fancy hammer and cider, what could possibly go wrong.

I do hope you hunt one down, kill it, cook it and it eat it in true Isaan stylee. :smiley laughing:

----------


## bsnub

> The ears on the left are the inner crop, on the right the outer perimeter. Anyone know anything?


Pretty sure that is barley.

----------


## taxexile

I think the green is wheat and the yellow is barley. hard to tell the difference though.



Wheat Vs Barley: What's The Difference? - Epic Gardening

----------


## cyrille

> Tales of rat hunting man a fancy hammer and cider, what could possibly go wrong.
> 
> I do hope you hunt one down, kill it, cook it and it eat it in true Isaan stylee.


Hammered _again. 
_
 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Mendip

> I think the green is wheat and the yellow is barley. hard to tell the difference though.
> 
> 
> 
> Wheat Vs Barley: What's The Difference? - Epic Gardening


Yes  I think that you're right. The barley is just riper than the wheat which is still green. I'm intrigued to know why a strip of barley has been planted around the field of wheat... presumably some kind of land management? I'll have to look into it.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Do you get invited to many parties? :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

Have you seen the forecast for Monday and Tuesday? You might wanna look into a sack, crack and back trimming :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I keep hearing about this so called 'heatwave' and the danger to life it is causing. Well, today in Somerset it is 21 degrees and cloudy with intermittent sun. It's pleasant enough I guess but I doubt I'll be getting heatstroke today.

And no, haven't been to a party in a long time! :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

:Smile: 

It's perfect here, 22 degrees, took the car in for an MOT had a lovely long walk back with the dog.
In the park now and gonna head to the beer garden soon

I'd much sooner it stay at 22.

----------


## Mendip

^ 22 is good, but in the 30s next week will be better if I'm gonna risk swimming in the sea.


Whenever I visit my mum I'm always disappointed at how little help she seems to get from my sisters and their various husbands and grown up offspring. It's hard to get involved with family stuff when I live so far away so I just try and help out when I visit.

I did a wash today and noticed that the washing line is so overgrown it can't go round and round. 



I waited for my mum to go out and decided to sort it out. I may as well get a few jobs done while I still haven't got wheels.

I must admit it was quite nice doing some gardening without having to worry about snakes, red ants and those dirty great centipedes we get at home. It was still a lot or work though and I'm starting to think I should have brought the gardener along. 

Despite living in the countryside the disposal of green waste is strictly regulated and my mum has two green wheely bins that are collected every two weeks. She has a gardener now and again and he charges £10 a bag to take away green waste!!! Back home I would just dump everything outside on the vacant land but here you have to chop it all up and cram it into a bin. 

But no way all this would fit...



So I took the cuttings down the field and hid it all in a hedge... one of the last few hedges that hasn't yet been grubbed up by the greedy farmer. This is why I waited for my mum to go out... she gets cross when I do stuff like this and worries there will be trouble. I must admit that Korat isn't my Valhalla but I very much doubt I could move back to the UK with all the rules and regulations. It would drive me nuts. And don't get me on the recycling segregation...

Two hours later, job done and I could hang out my washing.



And the washing line can now go round and round in the wind. Although something's gone wrong somewhere... at home I don't have to do my own gardening and I don't have to hang out my own washing. I'm supposed to be on holiday!



One of the good things about the UK of course is the food. I picked up a bag of Wotsits at Tesco and have been looking forward to them, so decided to treat meself after the gardening... but they are rubbish now. Nothing like I remember.



And my mum made fish an' chips for lunch. I asked, "cod or haddock?"

White fish, she says...



Alaska Pollock... FFS!!! What's happening over here?

----------


## Edmond

> I picked up a bag of Wotsits at Tesco and have been looking forward to them, so decided to treat meself after the gardening... but they are rubbish now. Nothing like I remember.


Do you remember Monster Munch and those pickled onion 'Meanies'. 

The ones that were really well coated would take you away to a special place. As would sucking on your fingers mid-pack.



Guess most of the chemical ingredients are illegal nowadays in such Nannystates, due to birth-defects and the sort.

----------


## malmomike77

^^ she is buy that from Sainsburys, its a faux family company like many supermarkets are using to lure the gullible into thinking its uk farmed produce when really its just a brand.

----------


## Joe 90

> Alaska Pollock... FFS!!! What's happening over here?


You'll be "doing a Dill" all weekend if you eat that and wishing you never chopped that green squatters sanctuary down.

Take your mum out for dinner you tight arse, you're on holiday :Smile:  ::spin::

----------


## taxexile

> Alaska Pollock... FFS!!! What's happening over here?


home fish and chips is nearly always a disappointment with supermarket fish, buy cod or haddock from a dedicated fishmonger or at the town wet market and the results will be much better.

that frozen stuff is fine for home fishcakes, but thats all.

so get yourself out to a decent chippy.

----------


## Reg Dingle

People who say fish and chips always taste better at the seaside haven't visited the Bristol channel

----------


## Mendip

^ In fact, Weston-Super-Mare has one of the best chippies in the country but I'm out in the sticks at the moment and it's too far to go for a cod and chips. I must admit that my mum's Alaskan pollock wasn't up to much today but I didn't say anything.


I picked up my ride today which will widen my opportunities for some decent food.



Guess which famous Somerset cider farm was my first port of call? Happy Daze!



Another hard day but I managed to relax early evening while planning how to significantly raise the bar in the dinner thread in a few weeks time.

----------


## DrWilly

The gardening meant you earned the cider.

----------


## Joe 90

> Hammered _again. 
> _


Beats banging the bong :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

You can get a fair bit of swag in those Toyotas Rav 4 Mendip , the back seats come out and it's like a mini van.

You could put a double mattress in the back and use it like a mini campervan,  would save a fortune in hotel bills and you get to park in all the best locations.

----------


## DrWilly

> use it like a mini campervan, would save a fortune in hotel bills and you get to park in all the best locations.


Not sure that's appropriate with his daughter along for the ride. He'll have to send her outside with a £2 for an ice cream.

UK’s top 25 dogging sites: Manchester Oxford Croydon dogging spots | Metro News

----------


## cyrille

> Alaska Pollock... FFS!!! What's happening over here?


Simples - BREXIT has fcuked UK fishing.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Must say, I am partial to a couple of those thirst busting Cloudy Lemons. Which way are you heading today? :Smile: 
Those green ones are nasty, leave them for the car owner, taste like sick. :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

when does the gardening and driving miss daisy stop and the holiday begin?, asking for a 12 year old Korat based young lady  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> she is buy that from Sainsburys


I'm sure I've saw that J James stuff in Big C or Villamarket

----------


## bsnub

> when does the gardening and driving miss daisy stop and the holiday begin?, asking for a 12 year old Korat based young lady


Good point, and he already refused her a walk on the pier, being as tight-fisted as he is.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^ that was tight. Piers cost a lot in upkeep and so he's taught his daughter a valuable lesson, let someone else care about an old seaside attraction, if it crumbles into the sea like so many others its not our problem.  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

12 year olds could not give a fuck about a pier.

----------


## bsnub

> 12 year olds could not give a fuck about a pier.


I would have to disagree. I am glad you were not my parent. Furthermore, I grew up going down to the piers of Seattle and have always loved them from the time I was a little boy, some fond memories indeed.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> 12 year olds could not give a fuck about a pier.


The arcades,hot dogs, ice cream and telescopes  are on those piers.

He dodged a bit more than the 10 Thai haircuts he saved :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> He dodged a bit more than the 10 Thai haircuts he saved


Indeed, he did, and he is currently mum about it.  :Smile: 




> Piers cost a lot in upkeep and so he's taught his daughter a valuable lesson, let someone else care about an old seaside attraction, if it crumbles into the sea like so many others its not our problem.


How very Donald Trump of him.

----------


## Joe 90

> The arcades,hot dogs, ice cream and telescopes  are on those piers.
> 
> He dodged a bit more than the 10 Thai haircuts he saved


 :smiley laughing: 
You're not wrong.

Although it might be one of the old fashioned arcades with 2pence slots, they're great fun for the kids.
But those 50p ones in Blackpool, fvck that!

Did you pack sandwiches and take a bucket n spade to the beach yet?
The best things in life are free :Smile: 

Dig out your fishing tackle and see what bites down by the river.
To make it more interesting I took a dead fish from the supermarket years ago and hooked it onto a line when my kids weren't looking then cast it into the water.
It certainly got their attention and wetted their excitement and enthusiasm for an hour of waiting at the waters edge .

----------


## malmomike77

> How very Donald Trump of him.


Indeed, i'm quite shocked and we're not even double pricing in the UK  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> To make it more interesting I took a dead fish from the supermarket years ago and hooked it onto a line when my kids weren't looking then cast it into the water.


didn't they notice it was a haddock fillet?

----------


## Joe 90

> didn't they notice it was a haddock fillet?


 :Smile: 

Get one of those whole Mackerel reduced at Morrisons for 10p.

Take a few cans of cider.

Cheap day out at the river, quality time.

----------


## armstrong

> The arcades,hot dogs, ice cream and telescopes  are on those piers.
> 
> He dodged a bit more than the 10 Thai haircuts he saved


Bullshit. Look at the photo of the pier.  Where the fucking amusements there?

----------


## armstrong

> I would have to disagree. I am glad you were not my parent. Furthermore, I grew up going down to the piers of Seattle and have always loved them from the time I was a little boy, some fond memories indeed.


Look at the picture of the pier he posted. It's barren.

----------


## Joe 90

> Look at the picture of the pier he posted. It's barren.


Looks can be deceptive.

Southport Pier stretches out nearly a mile into the sea with nothing on it at first impression. 

But right at the end theres an ice cream van extorting parents at a fiver a go.

There's even a cafe flogging £10 pizzas and an old fashioned arcade using new fashion money.

Guaranteed to come away £50 lighter and knackered. 

Fvcking piers :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> Look at the picture of the pier he posted. It's barren.


Because fathers like Mendip didn't patronise it...its a sad tall of decline and one of personal devices.  :Tired:

----------


## Edmond

Let's be honest about why he didn't go on it.






 :Smile: 





> I grew up going down to the piers of Seattle and have always loved them from the time I was a little boy,





> The arcades,hot dogs, ice cream and telescopes


The panhandlers.








The insurance required to run a big wooden fire hazard with 100 people on top smoking and playing electronic arcade games in the rain must make yer eyes water.

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: 

How the fvck did Snubbles get to Brighton Pier without a passport? :smiley laughing:

----------


## Reg Dingle



----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: 

It's  *FRIDAY[* :bananaman:

----------


## Edmond

> The panhandlers.

----------


## Joe 90

Fvcking hell!

There's been more sightings of Snubbles abroad than D.B.Cooper! :smiley laughing: 

Fvckers coining it in with that below the radar begging tramp look.

----------


## Edmond

Props to Mendy for giving him a quid.

----------


## Joe 90

> Props to Mendy for giving him a quid.


 :smiley laughing: 

Did he fvck!

He dropped 10p in Snubbles sweaty paw and said "get orf yur lazy arse n get yur job like wot I do". :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

Fuck me, must have been Friday night. Hope Mendy and Lill Mendy did more with their night than talk shyte on Teakdoor . And thank ruck tightarse Armstrong is not my parent  :rofl:

----------


## bsnub

Man, you wankers have the time on your hands. 

 :smiley laughing: 

C+ for creativity.

 :Smile: 

Mendy is definitely in hiding. 

 :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> 


he still looks un-grateful

----------


## bsnub

> he still looks un-grateful


Not ungrateful. He had a hard life as a depression era hobo and bank robber.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I'd just like to say that the reason we didn't go on the pier is because the daughter didn't want to, I was indifferent and my mum was sat in the car putting some time pressure on the whole enterprise. There are no amusements on Clevedon Pier but I believe you can get a fancy ice cream at the end if you so desire. I'm not a tight wad and just wait until we get out on the Grand Pier at Weston-Super-Mare at some point... I'll be chucking around the 2p pieces like nobody's business. I spend around 250 quid a months on street dogs, FFS... I'm the opposite of tight. 

Anyway, after arriving in the UK I immediately noticed a worrying thing about my young daughter. It seems that after nearly 3 years of Covid restrictions in Thailand and especially at her school, she is now very reluctant to take of her damn face mask. She seems to be more comfortable wearing one all the time... it's like her safe place. I'm trying to coax her out of this and am having gradual success... at the moment we compromise on her wearing no mask outside but wearing one in shops etc if she wants to. I've been away at work so much lately and we haven't been out in Thailand much so I hadn't noticed this before, but it has become very obvious since arriving in the UK where no-one is wearing masks anywhere. I think that the long term mental effects of Covid on kids continue for a long time.

Today we had to do a quick shop before visiting 'Secret World Wildlife Rescue', a place I've been looking forward to visiting for a long time. On the way to Street we passed an internationally famous land mark. We'll go up there one day... after all it's free.



We needed a raincoat and beach shoes (for rock pooling) for the daughter and a car cigarette lighter socket phone charger because I forgot to bring one.

Check these out for a bargain!



I also treated the daughter to a very generous sausage, cheese and beans melt. Her first ever summertime Greggs.



I went to 6 different shops trying to get the phone charger but eventually gave up and sat in the car and ordered on off Amazon using my phone with next day delivery. I know you should support the high street... but I need one.

Then we headed to Secret World. The last time I visited this place there were ferrets, foxes, birds of prey and a badger set with a glass front so you could see the badgers sleeping together underground. I love this kind of thing.

Home Page - Secret World Wildlife Rescue

After a 40 minute drive we arrived full of anticipation... but it turned out that it hasn't been open to the public for around the last 15 years. They have an open day in late August... but no good to us.

----------


## malmomike77

> it's like her safe place. I'm trying to coax her out of this and am having gradual success..


Tell her the UK needs cheering up and seeing a Thai smile will be a big help, the UK has forgotten how to do it.

----------


## Joe 90

> at some point... I'll be chucking around the 2p pieces like nobody's business.


 :smiley laughing: 





> she is now very reluctant to take of her damn face mask.


Kids adapt very quickly to new situations,  she will ditch the mask soon enough.
You need to take her to a place where there's kids of similar age playing and she'll soon not feel like being the odd one out.






> also treated the daughter to a very generous sausage, cheese and beans melt. Her first ever summertime Greggs.


Respect!





> after all it's free.


Respect!





> Check these out for a bargain!


Respect!

 :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Part of the reason for this father-daughter 'pilgrimage' was to relive a few memories and give the daughter a better insight into my childhood and places I visited. Coincidentally she is now 11 and if we were living in the village, she would be finishing up primary school next week and going to the local comprehensive in September. She is the exact same age as I was when the family moved into the house we're now staying at... my mum's house these days. That alone makes me feel pretty old.

Since we had an unexpected free afternoon I decided to take her down to the river to catch a trout. I spent half my childhood fishing on this river and just walking along it brings back a flood of memories. I still recognise certain swims after 40 years.

I found an old legering rod amongst my fly rods on the home-made bracket on the garage wall. Those fly rods have been untouched for at least 30 years.



I found my old coarse fishing creel and emptied it out. The contents of this had been untouched for probably 40 years and was in pretty poor state. There was even a bag of rabbiting nets in there... I don't know why. I haven't been ferreting for probably nearly 40 years and it was a strange feeling to think that in the early 80s I had carefully folded those nets after a day's ferreting and laid them in the bag. It all made me a bit maudlin and everything went into the bin... partly because it was all so degraded but mainly because these memories have to be laid to rest. I'll never be doing that stuff again.



Anyway, I cobbled together a set up using a legering rod, a sea reel (loaded with 15lb line) and a pack of size 6 hooks. None of it was perfect but it was all we had. I found some worms under some plant pots.

There's no fishing allowed on the river any more, but besides, we were headed to a part that has never allowed fishing and I used to access though a gate at the bottom of the garden... directly into a field that leads to the river.



Sadly it is overgrown now, and access isn't helped by the mountain of garden cuttings I dumped there yesterday.



We had to access the river discreetly from the road so I kept the rod broken in two pieces and held it against my leg while the daughter carried the tackle and a tin of Thatchers in a plastic bag.

A simple set up. The plan was to free line a worm under the bridge.



There's the swim. After 20 minutes we moved elsewhere. For one, b@stard people kept walking across the bridge and I started feeling a bit foolish repeatedly hiding behind a tree with the daughter, and for two, we were standing upstream of the bridge so any trout would have been immediately spooked by us.



We went to a second location but this was directly opposite a house and there were people in their garden. This is the problem with good weather.

The daughter soon discovered that her new rock pooling sandals were no protection against stinging nettles or a sloppy cow pat. To be honest she wasn't rally enjoying the fishing experience.



The cow pat culprits soon spotted us and started to head in our direction... so I decided to return to our first swim. These cows can be a nuisance.



This time I sat a few more metres upstream from the bridge while hiding in some undergrowth and tried to drift the worm down in the current but it was pretty hopeless. The line was way too thick and stiff and wouldn't freely un-spool from the reel and the worm just sat there below the rod.



We were trying to stay as hidden as possible but after half an hour this wanker on the bridge spotted us and started going at me that fishing wasn't allowed and we should leave. I gave him a couple of sarcy replies but my heart wasn't in it any more. There was no chance of catching anything, I'd finished my cider and the daughter was also getting a bit disturbed by all the goings on so I decided to leave.



So that's another memory relived but put to bed. I'll probably never again fish on that river which is a strange feeling but I guess you have to eventually move on. To be honest it was a lot more fun fishing there as a kid with my mates and stolen cigarettes and tins of cider. Returning today has just made me a bit melancholic and I'm quite glad we didn't catch anything. It was a mistake to go back.

----------


## MarilynMonroe

Good to see you spend some time with your daughter. I don't think it was a mistake, as your daughter got to see a part of your past that meant something to you even if it wasn't a success in fish catching. Cute doggy too!

----------


## MarilynMonroe

> I'm trying to coax her out of this and am having gradual success... at the moment we compromise on her wearing no mask outside but wearing one in shops etc if she wants to. I've been away at work so much lately and we haven't been out in Thailand much so I hadn't noticed this before, but it has become very obvious since arriving in the UK where no-one is wearing masks anywhere. I think that the long term mental effects of Covid on kids continue for a long time.


I think it may take some time. You don't really need one outside, but I see this a lot with friends and students as well. They are scared and got used to wearing masks. They dropped that mandate only a few months ago in my school and it took most kids no time to take them off, because they were so sick of them. There were a minority that would keep them on though. It is really sad what everyone, but especially kids had to go through these last few years. I know here in Canada, they've had to move to online learning, then back to school, and back and forth a few times. Learning has suffered tremendously in many students, which I really noticed this year. She'll get there, just give her time. You can model it for her.

----------


## Joe 90

Brilliant update Mendip :Smile: 

Nice pics as well!

Perfectly illustrated  :smiley laughing: 

I concur,  sometimes it's best not to go back and try and relive memories. 

I did it three times with Tenerife holidays,  never again.
God loves a trier.

----------


## Joe 90

> You don't really need one outside,


Indeed MM, the only people that wear them here now are the unvaccinated.

----------


## Bonecollector

> It was a mistake to go back.


I disagree, a memory is a memory and your daughter will remember the day regardless of it's failures. Must have been quite a laugh hiding from people with a 30year old rod and a hand full of garden worms 55555 

Do you remember the exact day you last packed up your fishing bag? Quite surreal when time passes like that.

----------


## Bonecollector

> It's perfect here, 22 degrees, took the car in for an MOT had a lovely long walk back with the dog.
> In the park now and gonna head to the beer garden soon
> 
> I'd much sooner it stay at 22.


I really haven't felt too bad in our nations capital, maybe because I just spent June in the kok which is one of the hottest months.

----------


## Bonecollector

> Do you remember Monster Munch and those pickled onion 'Meanies'. 
> 
> The ones that were really well coated would take you away to a special place. As would sucking on your fingers mid-pack.
> 
> Guess most of the chemical ingredients are illegal nowadays in such Nannystates, due to birth-defects and the sort.


You can tell a lot by which flavor monster munch a man goes for.

----------


## Joe 90

> You can tell a lot by which flavor monster munch a man goes for.


The illusive Chilli monster munch is a bit of a mission to source.

----------


## aging one

Lead story on CNN, the heatwave coming to the UK, especially southern England. 40 they say is possible in London. 

UK heat forecast: A hypothetical weather forecast for 2050 is coming true next week - CNN

----------


## katie23

^wow, possibly 40 C in the UK?! It's 32 C in my location here in PH.

@Mendip - it's good for your daughter to see her parents' roots. What you're doing now reminds me of the times that I went with my dad to visit his hometown in the province. It was (still is) a very rural area. My parents chose to live in my hometown for better work opportunities & for the kids (sis & me) to have better education. 

Wow at 11 years old, Ms Mendip has overtaken me in height! From your last update at sea, she was 5'1" so I was still taller. Now that she's 5'3", she's overtaken me. I'm 5'2" and taller than the average Filipina (average for females is 5').

Rock on! Happy trails.

----------


## armstrong

> Fuck me, must have been Friday night. Hope Mendy and Lill Mendy did more with their night than talk shyte on Teakdoor . And thank ruck tightarse Armstrong is not my parent


I would have had you aborted.

----------


## Shutree

> Check these out for a bargain!


You can't beat a good pair of 'shandals'.

----------


## Shutree

> She seems to be more comfortable wearing one all the time


Quite possibly she is more comfortable with a mask, a couple of years of being told to do something is a long time at that age.

During my visit I always carried a mask in case some places insisted that one be worn. Outside in London nearly no one wore masks, except for various Asians - visitors or residents I don't know.
Some folk still wore masks on the London underground when it was busy and a few people who might have underlying conditions or even active Covid infections. I tried to stay away from masked-up people because I couldn't guess why they were wearing masks.

----------


## Looper

> Returning today has just made me a bit melancholic


Nostalgia ain't what it used to be




> The daughter soon discovered that her new rock  pooling sandals were no protection against stinging nettles


I've got almost the same pair of water sandals as what the mini is rockin and they are great for stream wading.


I am surreptitiously excavating one of the neighbour's stream courses to make sure it does not divert across my driveway by random erosion and if I wade up the stream course then I do not leave any incriminating footprints on the muddy bank.

Is that an oak tree?



That should be a west country regional natural monument, beautiful.

Lovin this thread 
 ::chitown::

----------


## malmomike77

> Is that an oak tree?


I doubt it, but may be wrong its too dark leaved and dense.




> That should be a west country regional natural monument, beautiful.


There are many senior trees around the west country, old and standing alone in fields, sad imo. But they are recorded, there is a significant and old tree register. Visiting them has been a thing of mine, i'm not religious at all but sitting underneath some of these trees in summer alone with no one around is as close to a spiritual experience as i've had, aside from sex on a certain drug or two. :Smile: 

you can look some up here

https://ati.woodlandtrust.org.uk

----------


## Looper

^It certainly looks monumental whatever it is, when you notice how small the cows look beside it.

----------


## malmomike77

There are many like that in fields, some pre-date the field enclosures act which explains why they stand alone, the farmers never cut them down and were not allowed to. What you see is a grazing field and farmers now are planting new trees in these fields, 2 or 3 low density but its encouraging, they build large staked cordons which are designed to last 20 years to stop the cows etc grazing them. 

The real problem in the UK for woodland is the Grey Squirrel and Deer, the former an introduced pest and should be eradicated, the latter as a native species is usually controlled through culling but foreign species of deer have escaped and bred (muntjac) and both squirrel and deer populations are stripping bark on young trees or killing saplings. These are trees we lose which could live for hundreds of years. We should eliminate the Greys completely and cull and sell the deer meat. Win Win.

Sorry Mendip for the diversion.

----------


## DrWilly

Brilliant thread Mendy. Reckon you should take her proper fishing with the right gear…she might enjoy it then.

----------


## Reg Dingle

How much have you saved today buddy? :Smile: 

Here's a free cider for ya

https://www.freepint.inchscider.co.uk/

----------


## can123

Hello Monkey Face, hows your belly off for spots? Remember me? I am the man who is Can123. One of the non-pissheads here.

----------


## CalEden

Why isn't fishing allowed in the river? Whatever they are trying to accomplish they haven't achieved it in over 40 years. Like in the Robin Hood days is the fishing reserved for the King/Queen/Royalty?

----------


## Mendip

> Here's a free cider for ya


Thanks very much!





> Is that an oak tree?


Yes it is. Forty years ago I used to swing on a tyre suspended from a rope tied to that tree.




> Sorry Mendip for the diversion.


No problem Mike, interesting stuff. Forty years ago that oak tree was part of a hedgerow but the farmer has since grubbed it up.


I seem to have lots of time for updating this thread at the moment since we're having family visits and meals which are taking up a lot of time and not leaving us time to get away. I'm looking forward to heading down to Dorset just with the daughter tomorrow for a few days.

But, early this morning we fitted in a walk to Crook Peak and were back in time for a family lunch.

Crook Peak is the westerly-most peak of the Mendip Hills and a lovely walk at any time of the year but with such a beautiful morning today the walk was something special. Soon after 7am this morning we parked up and started the 5 mile round trip to Crook Peak and back. The daughter took off at a rate of knots but we've all heard the story about the tortoise and the hare.



The first leg was through King's Wood where we passed Reg Dingle's weekend retreat.



I think the cows are introduced as much to manage the woodland as for farming.



Another cow, but the main reason I took this photo was for the yellow hot air balloon drifting across the Somerset levels just above the horizon.



After breaking though the woods a little higher up, the view to the south included Cheddar reservoir to the left and Glastonbury Tor in the background a bit to the right (west). The yellow hot air balloon appeared to be landing and a red balloon a bit more to the right had already landed... and this was only 07:30am. What a fantastic way to start a day that would be.



We kept detecting the musky smell of fox which was not surprising as there were signs of rabbits everywhere... bringing back memories of ferreting many years ago. I could still set a net over a rabbit hole without thinking.



More cows... these were young.



I gave Number 713706 a scratch on his nose which he seemed to enjoy.



And a picture of my favourite house... I could come back to Somerset if I could afford a house like this to live in.



And higher still we started to see some sheep... positioned for action!



And the view half way up at a trig point. In Roman times the Somerset Levels were swamp/sea and Axbridge (by Cheddar reservoir) was a port. This is why Glastonbury Tor was the Isle of Avalon and Wedmore is still called the 'Isle of Wedmore'. All the high ground in this picture were islands protruding from a shallow sea 2000 years ago.



And looking to the west, here was our destination... Crook Peak at the right of the picture. That's Brent Knoll at the left of the pic and a nice view of the Bristol Channel and the north Devon coast along to Ilfracombe in the distance.



To the south, Glastonbury Tor and a blue hot air balloon.



To the north, Wales on the horizon.



It's not easy taking a picture directly into the early morning sun. 

'_Only a hill but all of life to me_'. A nice epitaph... I may borrow this and just change 'hill' for 'pond'.



The destination getting closer and the daughter still in the lead...



The beautiful village of Cross down in the valley. Since I've been in the UK all I've heard on the news is about how important it is to stay cool in the hot weather... with stunning advice offered such as drink lots of water, wear light clothing, open windows and stay in the shade. Advice for the stupid. Well, these clever sheep had figured out all by themselves to stay in the shade. Makes you think.



The final ascent to the peak across scree slopes and up steep rock faces. Someone had fashioned a cock and balls from the limestone scree, which the daughter of course noticed and commented on.



I don't know what happened to this photo... it seems that my phona applied some kind of filter for some reason, but the important thing is it proves that I won! The daughter was pretty knackered by this point.



A fellow hiker we met at the summit kindly took a photo of us together for posterity.



To the north... the M5 and Wales on the horizon.



To the west, the Bristol Channel. At the right of the pic you can see Brean Down extending into the sea, a continuation of the geological structure that formed Crook Peak. Weston-Super-Mare is on to the right, to the north. At the left of the pic you can see Hinckley Point power station and the little white blob in the sea off Hinckley Point is the Gulliver crane barge, brought in to lower a 5000 tonne water cooling unit onto the seabed in the next few days.



And to the south, the Somerset Levels.



I had a rummage around the scree and found this fossil bivalve... and there followed a short geology lesson for the daughter. Bivalves live in the sea, therefore the rock containing this bivalve was laid down in the sea despite Crook Peak now being 191 metres above sea level. Limestone is deposited in warm, tropical seas. Some ancient geological forces have been in play. Interesting stuff... well, at least I was impressed. The daughter less so.



A result of the perrenial westerly winds up on the Mendips.



On the way down we were lucky enough to see this pair of red kites cavorting together. A good photographer with a proper camera could have taken some great shots here. The Bristol Channel and then Wales in the background.



Further on and I accidentally cornered this chap against a wall and a bramble patch. Years ago I would have considered this an opportunity but I'm not sure what's legal these days, and besides, the daughter's at a very impressionable age at the moment. I left him unmolested.



A bit further on and we found a disgarded horse shoe. Our lucky day!



By now the daughter was really flagging. It was hot and we were getting tired. I kept going and encouraged her by waving her water bottle in the air to taunt her.



We did of course make it back. This picture from the A38 at the bottom of the hill to the south of the Mendips shows our 5 mile trek.



And my mum made quiche for lunch.

What a lovely day!

----------


## dirk diggler

Amazing, thanks for sharing. 

I'm looking forward to taking my family for a holiday to Scotland for the first time, when we get a chance, when the kids are a bit older, when, when, when...

Just had to get your toes into that last one eh?

----------


## DrWilly

> Just had to get your toes into that last one eh?



I had missed it until you mentioned it. Thanks a lot.

Did you pack any nuts and candies for the hike? Maybe that’s why she flagged. Great memories for her.

----------


## Stumpy

Cheers Mendy.  Enjoying the pics of the country side.  I see lots of upcoming grass fed Ribeyes and Tenderloins with all the cow pictures.  Never had a UK raised steak. Also saw the news on the heatwave warning.  You should feel right at home for a few days short the Ya Dong of course.  :Smile:

----------


## Loy Toy

Mendip's threads are always candid and very entertaining.

His willingness to share his adventures with us is one main reason I will continue to log on here.

----------


## bsnub

> Mendip's threads are always candid and very entertaining.


Indeed, they are! I knew this would be another of his epic threads and this has not disappointed so far! Keep it up Mendy you have another gem in the works.

----------


## Joe 90

Very sedate and relaxing Mendip.

You should have hit the norf and the Madness Mosh pit..





Plenty of fine fillies about as well..



More Fez's than you could shake a stick at..


Some posh slurping fillies about, accent were ruddy rough though..


Backed a winner ..



And had a damn fine kebab..



 :Smile:

----------


## BLD

Best thread this year

----------


## reinvented

^^
wheres that  Haydock?

----------


## Mendip

> Did you pack any nuts and candies for the hike?


Only a couple of chestnuts mate, and they were pretty well roasted by the time we got to the top.

----------


## DrWilly

That’s part of the reason she was flagging… we used to call that trail mix scoggin. Not sure if that’s a regional word or not.

----------


## Neverna

> I had a rummage around the scree and found this fossil bivalve... and there followed a short geology lesson for the daughter. Bivalves live in the sea, therefore the rock containing this bivalve was laid down in the sea despite Crook Peak now being 191 metres above sea level. Limestone is deposited in warm, tropical seas. Some ancient geological forces have been in play. Interesting stuff... well, at least I was impressed. The daughter less so.


When I was about 10 years old, I found a large ammonite fossil on top of a hill in Dorset. It had what looked like crystals in the end. I kept that fossil for years. 

Edit: I just checked Google maps and the hill top is 100m from sea level and about a mile from where the coast is now.

----------


## Stumpy

Ya know Mendy, as I browsed all the pictures and how open the area is, I suspect you and your daughter would love to fly a drone together and take lots of aerial pic and vids.  The New Air2S has POV and Active track and can follow you as you trek out in the country hiking.

----------


## Edmond

How many years are we talking about for the seabed to rise 100 meters+?

----------


## Shutree

> A fellow hiker we met at the summit kindly took a photo of us together for posterity.


It's great to be able to do these things together, memories made for both of you.

----------


## Shutree

> On the way down we were lucky enough to see this pair of red kites cavorting together.


One of the things that was different in England was the proliferation of Red kites. I saw them nearly everywhere I went from Oxfordshire to Carmarthenshire and far up the Welsh borders.
My daughter's home in Oxfordshire is close to where the reintroductions were made and you can often look up and see 20 in the sky. They come down for food and when you see them just a few metres overhead you appreciate how big they are.

----------


## Mendip

> How many years are we talking about for the seabed to rise 100 meters+?


You can't really generalise. Nev's ammonite was probably around 200 million years old, my bivalve from Crook Peak is probably around 320 to 350 million hears old. At the end of the Carboniferous there was a period of mountain building (Hercynian Orogeny) which formed the Mendips and uplifted my fossil whereas the more recent Alpine Orogeny (65 million to 7 million years ago) was likely responsible for uplifting Nev's ammonite. Throw in drifting tectonic plates completely altering land/sea configuration and localised sea level changes associated with ice ages and there is no definite answer.


Anyway, during this dangerously hot day we're having in the UK, we have mid 20s and drizzle this afternoon on the south coast... lovely and time to update the thread.

We arrived in West Bay in Dorset on Sunday afternoon... and with hindsight arriving early afternoon on the best Sunday of the year was a mistake... the place was heaving and I couldn't park anywhere near our accommodation (which doesn't provide guaranteed guest parking) so I parked half a mile out of town and we walked in. We're staying above an old pub, so that seemed like the best place to start and ell them that we'd arrived but would check-in when I cold find parking. So, what to do?



One advantage of arriving on a Sunday was that we could get a Sunday roast beef.



After 3 or 4 pints there was finally a parking space available outside the pub, but then I realised I couldn't drive. And besides, what would be the chances of the space still being available after walking out of town to get the car? 



So we went for a walk.

The inner harbour at West Bay.



There were these big fish (maybe around 2lb) swimming around the harbour. Mullet maybe?



The outer harbour.



And a couple of typical English harbour pictures.





And the beach just east of the harbour. Yes, this is in England!



Another view of our hotel/pub. Right on the beach!



This river joins the harbour just to the west where a dam and lock gates control the flow and maintain a suitable depth of rover water. While I was watching the boat on the left got stuck in the reeds as the huge guy in white couldn't seem to figure out how to row backwards. The boat with the guy in red, just to the left of that boat, was the owner of the business who had to go and rescue them and push their boat out. You have to wonder WTF is wrong with some people.



All this people watching was hot work.



After a couple of hours things were quieting down a bit. The tide was out and the harbour was dry. For those not aware of the huge tidal range in the UK... it completely controls access to the vast majority of harbours.



So we went to get the car. From what I can see, there is virtually nowhere to park for free in Dorset and they must make a fortune. It certainly ain't cheap and you need to keep a pocketful of pound coins at all times. Here I exchanged one expensive car park for another one that was outside our hotel. To be honest after two days the difficulty and cost of parking is starting to piss me off. 



But anyway, we were given a great room. It is actually quite romantic and not for the first time I thought it would have been nice if the wife had come along. Not for the whole holiday but maybe for the occasional twenty minutes or so.



The daughter's alcove.



And the view of the beach.



That's our room, right above the hotel name.



While here I am determined to swim in the sea. I tested out the water on our first night and it was absolutely fukking freezing. This was as deep as I went.



And of course we checked out the cliff face at the back of the beach. Fantastic bedding planes representing different depositional environments through the Jurassic Period.



As you move down the cliff face you're travelling back in time by millions of years. It looks a bit dodgy to lie at the base of the cliff face to be honest. A few years ago a guy was decapitated in Cheddar Gorge while looking in the boot of his car when a boulder fell from the cliff-face and scored a direct hit.  Very unlucky but these things can and will happen. That cliff will soon erode away in geological terms and every one of those boulders lying on the beach fell at some point in the past.



This was me a lifetime ago preparing to fish the incoming tide on Brean Beach near Weston-Super-Mare.



I'm not one to complain but apart from the constant hassle of parking down here I have one other small gripe... I have a split in the bottom of my left heel from all my long haul flights recently and this shingle is an absolute nightmare to walk on. I wish it was a sandy beach.



And that was it for the first day... other than one small discovery I made.

Did you know that if you look at the bottom of a stick of rock it comes out as mirror writing?



Obvious if you think about it, but something I never knew.

----------


## Mendip

The first full day in Dorset was a day I've been looking forward to for a long time and when I woke up I was excited as I've ever been... we were off to Lyme Regis!

When I was a kid we had family holidays in a caravan in Lyme Regis every single summer (my mum had a friend with the caravan) and I haven't been back since a brief visit in 1988. If ever there was a journey back to the past this was it. My eleven year-old daughter is the same age I was when we had those family holidays.

But first I had to deal with the bloody parking issues. Parking is free between 6pm and 8am but breakfast doesn't begin until 8:30... so I had to go down early and buy a ticket. FFS...

It was strange as the pub downstairs was deserted and I considered pouring myself a pint of cider but 8am seemed a little early, even when I'm on me hols.





The car park was of course deserted at 8am but I'm sure a warden would be around soon.



Not cheap either... another 2 quid just to stay parked during breakfast. And every time I buy a ticket I have to enter the car reg number... WTF has committed that to memory? I've taken a picture of it now so I can just check the phone each time without having to constantly walk back to the car.



These b@stards had the free overnight parking which is supposedly reserved for guests at the hotel but they're obviously mainly locals abusing the system. Pisses me off. The problem is that by the time a space becomes available late in the evening I should no longer be driving.




But anyway, after breakfast off we went to Lyme Regis to explore the Jurassic Coast.

And guess what... we found a car park at the top of the hill on the edge of town... same script. I didn't read the sign properly and put in £5.50, which pissed me off further.



And down the hill we went.



The beach at Lyme Regis with the world famous Cob in the background. Our destination was the other side of the Cob, to the west. These pebbles weren't easy to walk on with my cracked heel so we walked along the promenade.



Ammonite street lights, pure class.



I believe you can buy these beach huts when they come up for sale. I could imagine doing that in retirement one day but I don't think they're cheap.



After a groin there's a sandy patch close to the Cob as you head west. I think you have to get there early to secure a good patch and people come prepared.



The Cobb Arms at the Cobb in Lyme Regis. I didn't stop for a pint as we had some serious fossil hunting to get on with... and it was hot.



The Cobb itself. 



I think it was Meryl Streep and Richard Gere who walked along here in 'An Officer and a Gentleman'. A world famous site.



And from the end of the Cobb, back to land looking west. That grey patch of cliff was our destination to find some decent fossils.



And as an aside... a guy fishing from his boat off the end of the Cobb. If I ever get to move down to Rayong or somewhere this is my retirement dream... a 12 to 14 ft boat and a few hours fishing every morning. Pigs and shit.



So off we headed to the fossil site. Fresh rock falls from the cliff on the Jurassic Coast... it doesn't get better than that.



Fantastic geology. Layers of limestone interspersed by layers of mudstone representing cyclic conditions back in the Jurassic.



At this stage I realised that I'd fukked up a bit. The tide was in and had only just started to go out, and we only had three hours left at the car park. Rock pooling for crabs was obviously out and the best fossil hunting patches were still under water. 



As we carried on a hopeful sign... two adjacent boulders with ammonites! 



By now it was around midday and it was as hot as fuk. I climbed up the cliff to explore some virgin rock faces but dropped my b@stard hammer and it slid all the way down. I was too knackered to climb up again.



At this point I would have to say that the daughter was looking a bit bored. Her heart wasn't really in to fossil hunting and she sat dejectedly hitting a rock with my hammer while I tried to be enthusiastic about finding the best ammonite ever. I must admit it really was as hot and breathless as fuk and I was fading fast.



I did find this one at the edge of the surf but that boulder was a couple of feet long and weighed about 2 tonnes.



So we eventually called it a day with an hour left on the car so we could get back in time. We headed back.



On the way back we found this baby, daughter's feet for scale, but no way could I carry it back to the car that was about wo miles away and up the top of a b@stard great hill. I wish I'd had a wheel barrow.



On we went. To the right is the world famous ammonite pavement... under about two b@stard metres of water. If this picture had been taken 50 years ago it may have included meself, my two sisters and my mum and dad. This was the stretch of beach we used to sit on. Makes you think... well, it made me think anyway but the daughter wasn't so interested by this point in proceedings. She had a grump on.



The outward trip in reverse...



I may be no good at finding fossils but I know how to cheer up a daughter who's hot and sunburnt.



And then up the long hill back to the car. We were both pretty knackered by this point.



And so it was back to West Bay. 

Lyme Regis has been ticked off my list and as with my fishing trip it left me a bit disappointed and melancholic. The beach at Lyme Regis brought back a host of memories but I'm starting to think these memories are best left undisturbed. Maybe it isn't the places I miss but the period in time... back when life was simple and I had no worries?

But what really hurts is that I found bugger all decent fossils. The bladdy daughter found the best ammonite and she won't let me forget about it. Who's supposed to be the geologist round here?

----------


## PAG

Go west a few miles, and take the left turn down to Branscombe.   Beautiful cottages and scenery, a couple of pubs to eat drink, and a shingle beach at the end.   Shouldn't be much crowds.   Before or after the Donkey Sancturary.

----------


## Edmond

All lovely. 


But these:






The remnants of the Third Reich were rumoured to have scarpered to Patagonia. I reckon they didn't get past Dorset.

----------


## malmomike77

If you are near Swanage, go to Worth Matravers and visit the Square and Compass pub, there used to be annual beer and music festival 20 odd years ago but they still press their own cider.

https://www.squaremeal.co.uk/restaurants/the-square-compass_4443

https://www.google.com/maps/uv?pb=!1s0x487308a1bc6aac1f%3A0x2f2a577882856705!3  m1!7e115!4shttps%3A%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com  %2Fp%2FAF1QipPQpn0FAKEvFhoEVo-Ocv3d3PA0CUkyrGDq47gu%3Dw284-h160-k-no!5ssquare%20and%20compass%2C%20worth%20matravers  %20menu%20-%20Google%20Search!15zQ2dJZ0FRPT0&imagekey=!1e10!2  sAF1QipPQpn0FAKEvFhoEVo-Ocv3d3PA0CUkyrGDq47gu&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiMtKP5  tIX5AhVTh1wKHUDGCOwQoip6BAhYEAM

----------


## Joe 90

> All lovely. 
> 
> 
> But these:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Gone are the days of cowboy clampers and demanding money by menaces.

These parking companies must give DVLA a percentage of the fines in return for the registered owners details.

The camera takes a pic of your car on entry and exit to the carpark if you pay and enter your correct registration number then ok.
If you overstay ,dont pay or fvck.up on your details then the owner gets a bill automatically through the post a week later for anything between £30 -£100. If you dont pay within a set time the fine is doubled. Then you get a county court summons and bailiff action.

There really is no escaping the escalating extortion.

----------


## malmomike77

> If you dont pay within a set time the fine is doubled. Then you get a county court summons and bailiff action.


or his mate does  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> or his mate does


The trick is not to have the car registered in the first place, but there's Police ANPR cameras everywhere for that on roads nowadays.

Back in the good old days before cameras and internet you could drive around, park where you want, do whatever if the car wasn't registered to you and bought under a false name
.

No tax, no mot, no insurance,  no parking and always pissed up :bananaman:

----------


## Edmond

> These parking companies


So there are actually privately owned companies that run these sorts of Auschwitz carcentration camps?




What sorts of miserable, spiteful, bullied throughout their life, ThaiVisa moderator-ish, malmomike-esque, pieces of joyless shower-drain gunk decide that this is the 9 to 5 life to be in.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> So there are actually privately owned companies that run these sorts of Auschwitz carcentration camps?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> What sorts of miserable, spiteful, bullied throughout their life, ThaiVisa moderator-ish, malmomike-esque, pieces of joyless shower-drain gunk decide that this is the 9 to 5 life to be in.


 ::spin:: 

It's just another tax  on the motorist!

Trouble with this country, there's always someone trying to empty your pockets.same anywhere I suppose.

----------


## Mendip

To be honest the constant parking charges are starting to leave a sour taste, and I'm not tight. Today we were going to just take a quick walk on Chesil Beach and get an icecream, but they wanted £4 just to stop for an hour. So bollocks to that. 

I have had to recalibrate my cost meter since arriving and am starting to get used to £18 pub meals and £5 plus pints, and I may even revisit Clevedon Pier, but this parking is something else.

Btw Mike, we visited Abbotsbury Swannery today and it was fantastic. Great tip, thanks.

PAG, I have unfinished business at Lyme Regis tomorrow and I think we'll carry on to Branscombe for a look around, thanks for that. On Thursday we head back up north to Somerset.

----------


## Edmond

Fok that. 

Give me Somchai that can just stop in the middle of the road outside a 7 and kill 26 in a big pileup any day of the week.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> Btw Mike, we visited Abbotsbury Swannery today and it was fantastic. Great tip, thanks.


glad you had a good time, hope there were loads of signets.

----------


## Mendip

^ It is a bit late in the year for cygnets apparently, but I'll update that in due course.


After we returned from Lyme Regis we crossed off a proper fish an' chips from the list. It was cod this time, none of that Alaskan Pollock nonsense. I hadn't had a battered sausage for an age, either. The abundance of delicious food so readily available in he UK could well turn into a problem.



Money...



The daughter was distracted for a moment and it very nearly turned into a problem...



These guys are ruthless.




And then the main event. I hadn't been swimming in the sea in England since I was my daughter's age, around 44 years ago. My daughter had never swum in the sea over here. We decided to remedy this.

You just have to go for it, no messing.



I don't like to swear but the sea was absolutely fucking freezing, especially when it reached ball height.



But there's the proof... my first swim in the English sea in over four decades, and I think my last.



Not to be outdone, the daughter showed she was game.



That cold water had some effect on me and while the daughter played in the surf I lay back up the beach and warmed up. I think this was the first time I've felt relaxed in a very long time. I have trouble relaxing these days. I haven't had a cigarette in 19 years but I really felt like one on that beach. The feeling never completely leaves you.



I lay back and looked up at the sky... but the relaxed feeling left me. I started to think about that guy who was decapitated by a falling boulder in Cheddar Gorge. 



Time for dinner.



Money...  :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

Loving the updates. Those meals look decent, probably the first time in years lil Mendip has eaten well.

----------


## Joe 90

I'm impressed Mendip!

Not about your plunge, but the fact that your daughter ordered baked beans with her bangers and chips!

Respecto!

----------


## bsnub

Thread keeps getting better and better!

----------


## DrWilly

> But there's the proof... my first swim in the English sea in over four decades, and I think my last.


And you look like you're wearing your wiking silk shorts !

----------


## cyrille

I think you'll find it was 'The French Lieutenant's Woman'  that featured Meryl Streep in Lyme Regis, with Richard Gere nowhere to be found.

----------


## PAG

Last time I swam in the sea in the UK was at Sidmouth, so not far from Lyme Regis.   From recollection, the sea temperature was a relatively warm 18 C.

----------


## Mendip

^ Well, it was -6 C two days ago.





> I think you'll find it was 'The French Lieutenant's Woman'  that featured Meryl Streep in Lyme Regis, with Richard Gere nowhere to be found.


Yes, you're quite correct Cyril, a bit of research has shown it was Jeremy Irons. I think I was getting mixed up with 'An Officer and a Gentleman', a favourite of mine. 

Although I'm sure Richard Gere has visited Lyme Regis at some time or another.

----------


## Reg Dingle

The beast of Bodmin :Smile: 

Looks great down there.
How much was the room in the pub per night?
I need to go London with these 2 in a few weeks for new Thai passports.

The price of a decent hotel near Kensington is between 5 and 800 quid a night.

I can get a luxury apartment with hot tub for 150 on Air bnb.

A bit late now but you could have probably found a place on there with its own driveway/parking space :Smile:

----------


## Headworx



----------


## Edmond

You can tell by the stride that he really just needed a dump.

----------


## PAG

> ^ Well, it was -6 C two days ago.


Out of interest, I just Google'd Sidmouth sea temperature and got this, so 18 C would have been correct.   

Sea water temperature Sidmouth today | United Kingdom

----------


## cyrille

> I can get a luxury apartment with hot tub for 150 on Air bnb.
> 
> A bit late now but you could have probably found a place on there with its own driveway/parking space


This really is worth considering. 

A few years back we stayed in Stratford Upon Avon - very similar parking problems. 

Not for us, though. Parking included via airbnb.

 Just the other side of the canal from a pub garden. 

And the Mondeo will, like the mullet, one day be in vogue again.  :Very Happy:

----------


## armstrong

> So there are actually privately owned companies that run these sorts of Auschwitz carcentration camps?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> What sorts of miserable, spiteful, bullied throughout their life, ThaiVisa moderator-ish, malmomike-esque, pieces of joyless shower-drain gunk decide that this is the 9 to 5 life to be in.


I worked in a car park as a summer job about age 16.   :Smile:  :ourrules:

----------


## Bonecollector

Looks like you guys are having a wonderful time. The British coastal towns are seriously underrated in my view, it is a shame, in normal times, that so many people choose to go abroad and to never see so many places in our homeland. Glad you guys are tucking into some proper grub and those '99p' flakes look amazing but I am sure no where near 99p! parking is a bit of a fraud, we pay taxes already don't we? Try the costs in London, some paring lots in London are 10 or 20 quid an hr.



Next Bond maybe?

----------


## Edmond

> I worked in a car park as a summer job about age 16.


Go PH! Go KW!

Go PH! Go KW!

----------


## malmomike77

99 flakes, not had on in years

----------


## Shutree

> It looks a bit dodgy to lie at the base of the cliff face to be honest.


Erm, yes.  There are special warnings in place during the hot spell too, increased risk of rock falls, apparently. I don't know why, you'd need to ask a geologist. Anyway, no harm done.

As for the outrageous cost of parking, this was definitely one of the considerations when I decided not to hire a car on my recent visit. Not really an option for you with Mini-Mendip in tow.

Great pics and the south coast looks very inviting.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> What sorts of miserable, spiteful, bullied throughout their life, ThaiVisa moderator-ish, malmomike-esque, pieces of joyless shower-drain gunk decide that this is the 9 to 5 life to be in





> I worked in a car park as a summer job about age 16


I think Eddie's referring to officials and attendants rather than rent boys :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

> Go PH! Go KW!
> 
> Go PH! Go KW!


 :Very Happy: 


It does seem to work every time.

----------


## cyrille

^^Aaand Reg notches the tap in.

 :Very Happy: 

Ahh, the vicissitudes of TD postin'.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> ^^Aaand Reg notches the tap in.


A-hay :Smile: 





> the outrageous cost of parking, this was definitely one of the considerations when I decided not to hire a car on my recent visit.


10 pounds a day is outrageous? 
You couldn't get 4 flake 99s for that. :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> 10 pounds a day is outrageous? 
> You couldn't get 4 flake 99s for that.


Or 2 pints of best.

----------


## BLD

> Thread keeps getting better and better!


Indeed. Digging it

----------


## Edmond

You get a headjob for that round h..... Khorat. So I was told.

----------


## BLD

> Thread keeps getting better and better!





> Looks like you guys are having a wonderful time. The British coastal towns are seriously underrated in my view, it is a shame, in normal times, that so many people choose to go abroad and to never see so many places in our homeland. Glad you guys are tucking into some proper grub and those '99p' flakes look amazing but I am sure no where near 99p! parking is a bit of a fraud, we pay taxes already don't we? Try the costs in London, some paring lots in London are 10 or 20 quid an hr.
> 
> Attachment 89994
> 
> Next Bond maybe?


This whole covid thing where people couldn't leave the country fir the last 2 .5 years or more has sparked a keen interest in caravanning camping etc. It's not cheap though a 4wd is needed then a caravan fuck me they are out there spending money . But it's a probably a good thing for the hotels,caravan park owners etc. I've got a few friends who have actually lost interest in the overseas holiday and prefer to poke around in Australia in the caravan. Fair enough

----------


## katie23

@mendy - you've gotten good at taking food photos. Thanks for the pics & stories. Rock on!  :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

Yeah, I’m not biting. Let’s leave Mendy’s threads as apolitical.

----------


## Mendip

> How much was the room in the pub per night?
> I need to go London with these 2 in a few weeks for new Thai passports.
> 
> I can get a luxury apartment with hot tub for 150 on Air bnb.
> A bit late now but you could have probably found a place on there with its own driveway/parking space


I just can't get my head round taking a wife and daughter for a passport renewal trip? I mean, WTF?

Three nights down here cost £525 and I booked up a while ago. While here I extended for an extra day and I'm sure that will cost, but what a day its been... put it this way, the car will be heading back to Somerset 20kg heavier than when we came down.

I've never got in to this AirBnB thing but need to look into it. For our stay in London in a couple of weeks time I've booked 3 nights in the Travelodge on Vauxhall Bridge for (I think) 130 quid a night. Just a walk across the river for all the touristy stuff.





> You can tell by the stride that he really just needed a dump.


A Number 1 maybe, but never a Number 2 in the sea when there's families around. I have my standards.




> Next Bond maybe?


To be honest you're not the first to make that comparison. The daughter also took a photo of my return trip back up the beach but I'm keeping that for my Only Fans site.





> 99 flakes, not had on in years


As Bonecollector alluded to, these so called 99s now cost between £3.00 and £3.50, and that's for the standard and not the large. A pair cost around 7 quid, a price I was hoping to pay for a pub meal. Things have certainly changed.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I just can't get my head round taking a wife and daughter for a passport renewal trip? I mean, WTF?


 :smiley laughing:  







> I've booked 3 nights in the Travelodge on Vauxhall Bridge for (I think) 130 quid a night. Just a walk across the river for all the touristy stuff.


130 quid for a fukkin Travelodge shoebox? I paid 25 last time I stayed in one. It was in Birmingham, mind :Smile: 

Just looking on Airbnb now in Vauxhall, they start at 48 quid a night... and for what youve splurged you could have got a 2 bed luxury  flat with enough change for a stroll for 2 on the  pier brandishing a flake 99 oyster each :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Fok that. 
> 
> Give me Somchai that can just stop in the middle of the road outside a 7 and kill 26 in a big pileup any day of the week.


Even when the parking is free you still have to register your car in the car park on a touch screen tablet as a paying customer or else the eye in the sky will fine you!



Not that there was anything worth buying coz all the fridges had broken with the recent heat.

Oops wrong thread, carry on Mendy..


That price for central london is pretty reasonable for the time of year!
Don't take the car ffs or you'll end up bankrupt! :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Just looking on Airbnb now in Vauxhall, they start at 48 quid a night... and for what youve splurged you could have got a 2 bed luxury flat


You got a link for that, fancy a london trip myself.

----------


## armstrong

RE: that Vauxhall Bridge Travelodge. If you're taking a taxi make sure you're VERY clear which Travelodge as it cost me a fucking fortune from the train station and there's another one (not so) nearby which we had to walk to after travelling all the way from BKK. 

Luckily my wife was so jetlagged she didn't realise.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> You got a link for that, fancy a london trip myself.


Download the app and sign up.

The other great thing about Airbnb is the self catering side which saves a fortune itself

----------


## Joe 90

> You got a link for that, fancy a london trip myself.


I've just found a 2 bed luxury loft in mayfair with free parking thats cheaper than the travel lodge!!!

----------


## Reg Dingle

As Eddie would say...

He was fucking fuming :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^ There always some wanker trying to spoil your party. Ignore them Mendip, its not even 1 hours work for night in the travelodge

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ He might still have time to cancel that Travelodge..





> Robin H
> wrote a review 6 Jul
> 4 contributions
> 
> Don't do it.
> The only thing good about this hotel is that it was clean.
> The bed was so uncomfortable that by 0500 my back was in spasm and my neck was locked in place. The next night I used my jumper as a pillow.
> The duvets were so thin we asked for another one which never arrived.
> The view from our un-openable window was a concrete wall 3 feet away, and there was only one teabag for the two of us.
> ...


That was one of the better reviews :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Exactly. I'm not going all the way to London to stay in to cook meals. And try finding a supermarket in central London!





> 130 quid for a fukkin Travelodge shoebox? I paid 25 last time I stayed in one. It was in Birmingham, mind


And in 1982





> That price for central london is pretty reasonable for the time of year!
> Don't take the car ffs or you'll end up bankrupt!


Train tickets already booked... strikes allowing of course.





> RE: that Vauxhall Bridge Travelodge. If you're taking a taxi make sure you're VERY clear which Travelodge as it cost me a fucking fortune from the train station and there's another one...


Noted Armstrong and thanks. I'm planning on a Black Cab from Paddington to the Travelodge for the experience. The next day I'm meeting up with a mate who knows how to use the tube trains and stuff.

----------


## Joe 90

> I'm planning on a Black Cab from Paddington to the Travelodge for the experience.


Careful the Cockney wanker doesn't take you via margate for the experience  :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

> A Number 1 maybe, but never a Number 2 in the sea when there's families around. I have my standards.


You want to be careful doin that, cos the bastard turds will float in seawater…

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, you've gotta watch 'em, geezer.


Yesterday we headed east out of West Bay on the hottest day ever according to the news, although I reckon temperatures were higher in the Cretaceous.

You don't get more English than this... yellow fields with Chesil Beach in the background.





That's St Catherine's Chapel, built by monks in the 14th Century. I very much doubt 'my' house in Korat will still be standing in 700 years time. But what a location. I said to the daughter I'd love to move in there, build a wall around to keep the dogs in and never have a visitor ever again. She wasn't enthusiastic.



I've never used the word 'quintessentially' before, but I think it's correct here. Can you think of a more quintessentially English landscape?





This would have made a third if some b@stard hadn't parked a half container in the view.



We were on our way to the Abbotsbury Swannery (thanks MalmoMike).



After buying tickets we started out on the 400 yard walk to the swannery when I realised I'd left the bottles of water in the car. We've heard a lot about the dangers of such extreme heat in the UK lately and I guess we had around 30 degrees yesterday (Armageddon day) but regardless of all the advice on the telly, coming from Isaan I'm rarely far from a bottle of water. It was hot, so when we arrived at the swannery I told the daughter to wait while I went back to get the water. I walked back the 400 yards to the car, realised that the daughter had the car keys in her bag, tried to call her but realised she has no SIM over here, so walked back again. I'd walked three quarters of a mile before we even started and I still had no water.



Anyway, slightly dehydrated we arrived at the swannery.





The swannery contains the only swans in the country that don't belong to the queen. In 1543 Sir Giles Srangeways brought the swannery from Henry VIII and it's remained in his family ever since.



Some history...



Swans everywhere. The brackish lagoon the swans live in is called The Fleet and the other side of Chesil Beach is the sea.



These are mute swans with an orange bill.



Swans, Canada geese, doves and pigeons.



There are three types of swans at the swannery; the mute swan, the whooping swan and the black swan.



The dirty cream-coloured swan at the right (with a yellow bill) was a whooping swan and he started whooping and drove all the other swans away from us. The two black swans are black swans.



Tranquil...



A little tip for Shutree when taking bird pics... it's all about the timing.

Too early... 



Just right!



A swan's wing span.



No problem!



Some picture to get the feel.

Two swans separated...



I wish they allowed fishing...





There was this exhibit showing mines and their deployment during WW2... I guess because they found some off Chesil Beach. These are a main concern at work when we are doing pipeline route surveys. After the outer shell degrades the mines loose their buoyancy and sink to the seabed and are still sat there 80 years later.



On the way back we visited the Swan Maze. 



There's apparently a huge egg in the centre but we didn't find it.



But we did find these stocks. I ordered a set to take home... after 15 years of marriage I must admit the sparkle has gone and I reckon a set of stocks in the bedroom may be just what we need to spice things up again.



And that pissed me off... never realised I was thinning on top.



Thomas Hardy, eat your heart out.



Lunch before we left...



I asked for a swan burger but it didn't go down well... so two pasties it was. Another box ticked.



A couple more Thomas Hardyesque pictures...





While London was burning late afternoon, we had haze and light drizzle...



... but not too heavy to spoil a couple of 350s!



And dinner... haddock and chips... with peas!



Money...



Another lovely Dorset day.

----------


## DrWilly

Very picturesque. That fish n chips and peas looks perfect!  :goldcup: 


You’re having a laff calling that a bit of thinning…

----------


## PAG

Looks a great day out.

"But we did find these stocks. I ordered a set to take home... after 15 years of marriage I must admit the sparkle has gone and I reckon a set of stocks in the bedroom may be just what we need to spice things up again."

----------


## Joe 90

Nice pics Mendip!

Last time I saw some stocks, Troy ended up  in them posing after 6 pints of Theakstones  :Smile: 

Need to get yourself some clippers and go number one all over and hide that sunroof.

Tried any decent ales yet?

Loads of varieties and very reasonably priced here.

----------


## happynz

> never realised I was thinning on top.


Go for what apparently is called "The Power Donut".

----------


## CalEden

Are the brown sticks in the ice cream cones chocolate? 

Wow, it must be hot there the beautiful greenery turned yellow, looks like California now.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Are the brown sticks in the ice cream cones chocolate?


 :smiley laughing: Is that you Snubby?

----------


## malmomike77

> Are the brown sticks in the ice cream cones chocolate?


They are indeed, British Cadbury Flakes, only the crumbliest flakiest chocolate...we stick them puppies in our ice cream in the UK

----------


## malmomike77

^ Dill was still in nappies

----------


## DrWilly

Power donut  :rofl:

----------


## Mendip

> ^ He might still have time to cancel that Travelodge..
> 
> That was one of the better reviews


To be honest it would have been more use if you'd have posted that review before I booked the room but I'm sure it'll be OK. Some people complain about anything these days.


We were having such a good time down in Dorset I extended the holiday by a day so Wednesday was a bonus day... and it rained.

Despite the weather the day started well and just got better and better.



On Tuesday night I'd actually secured one of the few free parking spaces by the side of the hotel so I was tempted just to stay in West Bay for the day to make the most of it but then I noticed this convertible Saab parked outside and I thought we'd better get going fast. No way was I going for a day's dogging with the carpark fees in Dorset.



We were first heading to Lyme Regis where I had unfinished business and I have a confession to make here. I was planning on visiting the fossil shop to buy a nice ammonite and then pretend that I'd found it on the beach, but on the way we passed a sign saying '_The World Famous Fossil Beach at Charmouth_', and I thought, 'why not'? So we followed in the footsteps of Mary Anning and went to visit Charmouth Beach.



Another beach, another parking fee. It was cold with drizzle so I promised the daughter we'd just spend one hour fossil hunting and then go elsewhere... so after coughing up £1.20 we tackled up.



It certainly wasn't beach weather and the majority of people on the beach were looking for fossils. They weren't proper geologists but just amateur twats with hammers which pissed me off somewhat.



A nice bed of limestone within the lower Jurassic mudstones.



I wasn't getting much luck and then a strange thing happened. This bladdy Cockney asked if he could borrow my hammer for 2 minutes... no more he promised. I hate to lend out tools but it seemed a bit peevish to deny him, just because he was an amatuer and a Cockney to boot, so I said Ok, so long as you're quick. The daughter went along with him to make sure he didn't try and steal me new geological hammer. That was him in the yellow T-shirt with his family.



The daughter came back with my hammer a couple of minutes later and said he'd found something but couldn't get it out of the mudstone. I thought no more about it.

We carried on searching until there was just 20 minutes left on the parking and the tide was coming in anyway so we started back to the car, empty handed. Anyway, on the way the daughter showed me this Cockney's 'find' and straight away I recognised a big ammonite embedded in the mudstone bedrock on the beach. I could see the Cockney's ineffectual hammer marks around the fossil... he obviously had no idea. I looked around and he was nowhere to be seen, so I discreetly went to work. I'm not too sure on the rules at World Heritage Sites but suffice to say I definitely didn't hack around the ammonite and eventually prize it out of the soft mudstone... and even if I had, I'd only have been accelerating the natural erosion by a few months.

Mendip always gets his fossil! That's the difference between a professional and an amateur.



This ammonite had laid embedded in that mudstone since the early Jurassic, around 200 million years ago. It had lain there throughout the age of the dinosaurs, the rise of the mammals, through the building of the pyramids, the Roman occupation of England, the Norman invasion and two world wars. But it was no match for me!

I staggered down the beach towards the car which must have been nearly a mile away. The ammonite was so bloody heavy I had to keep dropping it and having a rest. The daughter got embarrassed by the strange looks I was getting from all the plebs on the beach and walked 10 meters in front of me, the sod. I don't think she was really enjoying herself.

Eventually I had to leave her in a closer car park with the ammonite to guard while I went off to get the car. Poor kid, she had another huff on.



But what an hour... worth every penny of that £1.20! Two small ammonites and something else joined the haul.



And kids are easy to cheer up...  :Smile: 



These were the best '99s' to date, and only cost 3 quid each. The Charmouth ice cream was yellower and more vanillery than in West Bay.



I was in a bit of a state though. My right arm had gone numb and I'd knackered my T-shirt... and we had places to go.




After Charmouth we crossed the border from Dorset into Devon. We bypassed Lyme Regis... who needs a fossil shop anyway?

Check out the weather... this was the day after the hottest day ever which we'd managed to survive.



And we went to...



A bit ironic really as all I've drunk is cider since arriving in Blighty.

Beer is a beautiful little place and another location we used to visit on our family holidays 50 years ago.



And check this out... free parking. Devon seemed to be less Gestapo-like with it's parking rules and costs.



I still remember walking up this road from the beach as a 6 or 7 year-old with a big crab shell a fisherman had given me.



Maybe I spoke too soon?



A busy working beach. There was a small shop selling fresh fish just by the car park.







It wasn't really deck chair weather. This really is the problem with holidaying at seaside resorts in the UK... one day is the hottest of the year, the next wet and quite chilly. There is very little to do on a beach with kids in bad weather but thankfully these days there are a lot of alternatives.



After a look around for 20 minutes we headed back to the car past this WWII pillbox that had defended the only easy exit from the beach in the vicinity.



And by the car... English runner beans in an allotment. These are easily my favourite vegetable, I just love them but have given up trying to grow them in Korat as every time the bloody sparrows strip off the red flowers before they can develop into fruit.




And next stop a few miles along the road... the Donkey Sanctuary at Branscombe.

StackPath

Entrance to the donkey sanctuary is free and they rely completely on donations. No charge for parking either.





Some donkey facts... although I don't know how they come to such an accurate figure for the world donkey population.  





Surpisingly enough, donkeys are facing a new threat from.... China, surprisingly enough. The poor creatures are being shipped out from Africa to China where there's a new fashion to eat donkey meat in the belief it will increase their pencil dick size. 

And according to the daughter this was the donkey from the Shrek movies.



The food was average but I wanted to eat there to support the charity. We left a nice donation as well. I like donkeys.



And what pride I felt... the daughter continues to impress me every day.



And another bonus... I got meself a clean T-shirt to wear!



And the last meal of the hols... a seafood risotto. It was indeed a fantastic four days in Dorset.




As a kind of footnote to our Dorset trip, when we got back to my mum's house in Somerset today I measured and weighed my ammonite.

It has a 14" diameter and weighed in at a fraction under 26kg, explaining why I nearly died carrying it back to the car. That's over 4 stone or 57 pounds in real money.



I'm sure to be so heavy it must be heavily mineralised and I think it's probably a pyrite ammonite. After spending a couple of hours cleaning it this afternoon there was a golden lustre showing through the mudstone and I need to do some research before going too far in the cleaning. I think I'll maybe try and get it cut in half. I know exactly where I can get it cut in Pak Chong but don't fancy paying the excess baggage.



I had to go out to buy a bucket big enough to soak it in, and of course every good geologist knows the old trick to clean a fossil.


































And no... it's not that... it's vinegar! 

I couldn't find any hydrogen peroxide so I bought a couple of bottles of Coop's finest vinegar to be going on with. I think anything acidic will help.



This will keep me busy for a while.

But it won't stop me getting my five a day in.

----------


## happynz

Pixelating yer _puku_. 555 Priceless.

----------


## Joe 90

> I noticed this convertible Saab parked outside and I thought we'd better get going fast. No way was I going for a day's dogging with the parking fees in Dorset.


Kev n Karen! I know them well.
They travel all over the UK entertaining in their open air party mobile :bananaman: 

 :smiley laughing: 

That pic of you suffering  with that Rock is priceless! :Smile: 

I know you're a creature of habit but what about the Ale reviews  :bananaman:

----------


## malmomike77

> Mendip always gets his fossil!


Really glad for you and Mini you got your specimen but I thought, I may be wrong however, that you aren't allowed to chisel them off the beach?

who cares you got it and what a find, well done.

----------


## Mendip

^ You're not allowed to chisel them out of the cliffs but this one was embedded at ground level. I think this may be a grey area.

It just came off in my hands, anyway.

That lower Jurassic mudstone is so soft you can just break bits off with your hands. It's more like a clay than a consolidated rock and every tide erodes a little bit more, so my small efforts made no difference in the scheme of things.

----------


## Joe 90

> I know you're a creature of habit but what about the Ale reviews


It'll put hair on your chest :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> I think this may be a grey area.


Indeed, but it would eventually erode, what is important is you got it and not some seller and you got it with your daughter, she must be impressed. What a find, well done.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> To be honest it would have been more use if you'd have posted that review before I booked the room but I'm sure it'll be OK. Some people complain about anything these days.


Look on the bright side, the noise from the trains will overpower the screams of couples fucking through those paper thin walls :Smile: 

Great pics and updates BTW.

Had to Google what an ammonite was

----------


## malmomike77

> Had to Google what an ammonite was


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ You were born in the same era :Smile:

----------


## katie23

^hey, I wasn't born in the same era as them but I know what ammonites are (but then I have a science background).  :Smile:  They're the ancestors of present day molluscs.

@mendy - there are so many picturesque scenes of villages, etc on this thread. Seems like good inspiration/ subjects for Nigel's paintings. Btw, thanks for the pic of the description of the diff types of donkeys - I had my geek mode on and I read it. Now I know about equine Jacks & Jennys.

----------


## DrWilly

> The food was average but I wanted to eat there to support the charity. We left a nice donation as well. I like donkeys.



It's a Donkey farm.

and a pound to a penny I _know_ what that meat you were eating was!

----------


## malmomike77

> hey, I wasn't born in the same era as them but I know what ammonites are


Yes Katie, he's showing himself up  :Smile: 




> Btw, thanks for the pic of the description of the diff types of donkeys


They missed Ass.

Some years back we visited a place in France, i forget where now but they had Baudet du Poitou, French donks and they were the most amazing things to see, big too.

----------


## Joe 90

> Now I know about equine Jacks & Jennys.


Don't read up about Kevin n Karen from Kidderminster! :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Reckon Dil 2022 was gonna go for it.  :Smile:

----------


## dirk diggler

> 


Looks like a highland cow had a fling with a moose

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Reckon Dil 2022 was gonna go for it.


 :Smile: 

Just booked my penthouse in Chelsea(with hot tub), only an extra tenner a night than what Mendy's paying for that Prisoner Cell Block Travelodge over in Peckham :Smile: 



The nipper will hopefully sleep well, just dropped her off for the weekend, sans mobile phone which will be a huge shock to her system :Smile: now off on the lash before the ball and chain finds me  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^ Don't forget to get the chaps and cowboy hat out, its ride em cowboy time later.

----------


## Edmond

^ I reckon that's his sleeping bag.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

Talking of rides, think I just spotted Eddie's Ms Mbudga

----------


## Edmond

:Yup:

----------


## Reg Dingle

And straight into the town's roughest and cheapest boozer :Smile: 



80 baht for a pint of Worthies Creamflow

----------


## malmomike77

:Puke:

----------


## Edmond

Looks alright. Nice creamy head as it's starting to settle. Looks like that Kilkenny stuff that got me onto stout for a few years.

----------


## Joe 90

> Looks alright. Nice creamy head as it's starting to settle. Looks like that Kilkenny stuff that got me onto stout for a few years.


It's only about £2 a pint here as well.

If you Keep watching that shower of shite on the TV Dill you'll end up getting wankered on £20 and gate crashing the tent at closing time :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> ... I know what ammonites are (but then I have a science background).  They're the ancestors of present day molluscs.


Well done Katie... you go straight to the top of the class!




> Had to Google what an ammonite was


But let's face it, the bar wasn't exactly high!  :Smile: 

I soaked the ammonite in vinegar overnight but all it seemed to do was attract a few early season wasps. I gave it another good scrub and it's coming up nicely.



There is little doubt that this is a pyrite ammonite. Pyrite is iron sulphide (FeS2).

_"Pyritisation can happen to fossils in sediment saturated with iron sulfides. Sulfides are produced by decaying organisms and can react with iron to form pyrite (FeS2) which can take the place of the calcium carbonate"._

This is a close up of the surface of my ammonite.



And a piece of the mudstone that I chipped off. You can see why pyrite is also called _fool's gold_.



The problem is, all I am really doing is cleaning off the surrounding mudstone from the pyrite concretions. I need to get below the concretions to find something like this (hopefully)...



Or if I get it cut like my fossilised wood, like this.



But anyway, for now I'm trying bathing it in this patio cleaner I found at the local builder's merchant. They suggest hydrogen peroxide on the internet but I couldn't find any and this patio cleaner is basically just a 10% hydrochloric acid solution which should dissolve the calcium carbonate in the mudstone. I added a lot of water to make the first bath maybe a 3 or 4% solution.

When I put the ammonite in the acid bath there was a lot of fizzing and bubbles so something was certainly happening.



After a couple of hours I took it out but there still wasn't much change so I've upped the acid concentration overnight.



Edit: I see this thread has moved on and there's me still clapping on about ammonites and pyrite. Sorry about that.

I'd better go and find a tin of Thatchers!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Talking of rides, think I just spotted Eddie's Ms Mbudga


I don't fancy yours much!

----------


## malmomike77

> I'd better go and find a tin of Thatchers!


Would you, Dill is posting up pics of shit beer with shaving foam on top, fookign norvern minkey.




> I don't fancy yours much!


I don't fancy either. You'll peel off the wrapper and find a Lulu waz eer tatt.

----------


## DrWilly

> Edit: I see this thread has moved on and there's me still clapping on about ammonites and pyrite. Sorry about that.
> 
> I'd better go and find a tin of Thatchers!


conveniently missing the revelation that you ate a donkey burger, or an ass burger, if you will: 


But on a more serious note the acid will react with the calcium carbonate and turn to water, as its a neutralization reaction. You need to keep changing the acid or vinegar at as it reacts and disappears with that enormous mass of rock.

----------


## Joe 90

> But on a more serious note the acid will react with the calcium carbonate and turn to water, as it’s a neutralization reaction. You need to keep changing the acid or vinegar at as it reacts and disappears with that enormous mass of rock.


When did you become a Geography teacher :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Headworx

^Must. Resist.  :Smile:

----------


## BLD

> When did you become a Geography teacher


About the same time you became a master chef? Lol

----------


## armstrong

> When did you become a Geography teacher


Willy trying to teach a geologist how to work stones.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## bsnub

> About the same time you became a master chef? Lol


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Edmond

> _the acid will react with the calcium carbonate and turn to water, as it’s a neutralization reaction. You need to keep changing the acid or vinegar at as it reacts and disappears with that enormous mass of rock._


Would it not be a science lesson rather than geography?

----------


## Joe 90

A level Geography incorporates geology.

----------


## hallelujah

This thread is even better than expected! Absolutely wonderful stuff, mendip.

And some quality humorous input from the usual suspects too.  :Smile: 

When Teakdoor gets it right with these photo threads, it _really_ does get it right.

----------


## Edmond

> A level Geography incorporates geology.


Does the incorporated geology incorporate lessons on chemical reactions?

----------


## BLD

> Does the incorporated geology incorporate lessons on chemical reactions?


Its incorporated with a domestic science element also? Sponsored by Asda  and sainsburys?  Markdowns r us

----------


## BLD

> A level Geography incorporates geology.


Out of greens joe

----------


## Joe 90

Ye may mock me but I know my shit..





Anyway fookers, I'm off out to buy a bbq and burn something  :bananaman: 


Nice day for a trip around a museum Mendip as its pissing down, oh and there's another train strike next week which has scuppered my travel plans to London.

----------


## Edmond

No Posting photos online for dummies book?  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> No Posting photos online for dummies book?


There's a separate edition for posting on TD :Smile:

----------


## Topper

Thanks Mendip, I'm enjoying the thread immensely.

----------


## malmomike77

> Ye may mock me but I know my shit..


Being in possession of the book may be 9/10ths of the law as far as ownership is concerned but it don't mean you'm passed the exam  :Smile: , think of it like Symp with his 2/2, really that just means he can speak English...sort of.

----------


## CalEden

Mendip, must have given himself a hernia from lugging that rock all over the beach, that affected his typing fingers.

----------


## malmomike77

^ Wait till he marries it up to a 23 carat chain when he gets back to Korat.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Mendip, must have given himself a hernia from lugging that rock all over the beach, that affected his typing fingers


Or dropped his even heavier wallet on his foot. :Smile:

----------


## Backspin

> 


 :smiley laughing: 

Doesn't exactly look clean does it

----------


## Joe 90

> Or dropped his even heavier wallet on his foot.


He'll be needing that hefty wallet if he meets up with you in Soho!

----------


## malmomike77

^ those peep shows will be swallowing his £2 coins as fast as he can feed them.

----------


## Joe 90

> ^ those peep shows will be swallowing his £2 coins as fast as he can feed them.


Mendy will probably sneak in a cubicle with Dill to save money, gonna be a tight squeeze in there knocking one out to saucy Sara from Slovakia.

Wait till they hit the hostess bars....

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Mendy will probably sneak in a cubicle with Dill


Are we talkin Double Dutch Rudder here?

----------


## Joe 90

> £2 coins


If he gets short on funds I'm sure Dill can provide options for a quick earner...



Well it is the season for bruverly down sarf init..


After a few cider shandies the local talent will start to awaken the Bangkok Nana senses..



It'll be like a busmans and holiday  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Are we talkin Double Dutch Rudder here?


I can't believe I just googled that :smiley laughing:

----------


## Reg Dingle

It's not gay, apparently  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: 

Mendip those pics are small for a reason :ssssh:

----------


## Mendip

> It's not gay, apparently


I'm proud to say I have no idea what a 'Double Dutch Rudder' is, and I have no intention to Google it. Anyway, what are you doing on the internet tonight... I thought you were getting your plumbing sorted this weekend?


Mack on topic... another day, another walk on the Mendip Hills.

This morning we went to Dolebury Warren. 



Many people assume that with a name like 'Dolebury' it's a place up north, but that's incorrect.

This was the hill we were faced with at 9am this morning.



Much to the daughter's amusement, half way up and I was on my knees and dry retching. That hill was steep. We stopped for a rest on this conveniently placed bench but there was still a long way to go.



And that's where we came from.



As we broke through the tree line the daughter also seemed to be struggling a bit!  :Smile: 

And then we were clear. The second from right peak is Crook Peak where we walked up to last week.



The top of Dolebury Warren is the site of an iron age hill fort built around 3000 years ago. We followed a path that was basically along the top of the southern ramparts of the fort. You can see the formidable slope any attackers would have had to ascend before attacking.



The walls around the fort cover 22 acres and it is believed to have been occupied during Roman times. It is called Dolebury 'Warren' as it was used as a rabbit warren during medieval times to supply meat and fur.

Dolebury Warren - Wikipedia

We first walked along the southern rampart which was a single rampart since the south side was so well protected by the steep slope.



Looking back westwards from the southeast corner you can see the ancient ramparts extending along the south side.



Imagine climbing that slope while under fire from a rain of spears, arrows and rocks.



The view to the north from the east ramparts. The Bristol Channel and Wales was visible in the distance but they didn't come out in the photo. My mum's village is also visible, off to the right. I feel very lucky to have been raised in this area but sadly it's now been ruined by a huge amount of new housing and the whole area has changed. If I return to the southwest it will be somewhere further south, a bit quieter.



A nice view from the eastern ramparts. Crook Peak again visible. I saw three rabbits while walking around but they were too fast for a photo. I'm sure that Shutree would have done better.



And this gives some idea of the difficulties faced by an attacking warrior against a well defended rampart. I would fancy my chances against even an eleven year-old girl defending this fort.



We walked in to the 'lookout tower' marked on the diagram above. This picture is looking east at the eastern entrance.



Apparently it's possible to find iron arrow heads and other artifacts amongst the scree slopes but I think my daughter has had enough of rummaging around rocks for a while so we didn't stop to search for anything.

As we walked out of the fort through the eastern entrance it was possible to make out the double ramparts that surround all the sides of the fort apart from the south. These ramparts were built 3000 years ago... makes you think.



We continued to walk east and saw another red kite which wasn't surprising considering the signs of rabbits that were everywhere. They have continued to thrive up here since being farmed in medieval times.



A bizarrely shaped tree.



There are loads of these small mounds across the top of Dolebury and I'm not sure what they are. They are certainly biological and maybe have a mossy origin but I don't know.



A nice style.



We found a small cluster of feathers marking a kill for a bird of prey, maybe one of the red kites we saw. There was also a regurgitated pellet (the undigested food a bird of prey will cough up) and as luck will have it I had a small plastic bag in my pocket so I took it home. It's fascinating to put these pellets in a glass jar of water to break them down and see what the birds have been eating. Admittedly the daughter found it less fascinating than I did.



A cage to drive sheep into for inoculations, shearing, etc...



We descended the hill very quietly in the hope of seeing deer. There's a lot around this part of the Mendips.



And this is where the daughter learnt the expression 'b@stard cyclists'...



We were walking silently along the path in the hopes of spotting wildlife and these wankers clatter along the paths at breakneck speed, expecting us to jump out of the way and frightening any fauna away for miles. The fukkers are all over the roads round here and they can't stay off the hills either. I hate them (sorry Chitty). Why can't they stick to cycle lanes?

Another tosser. The daughter saw my disgust and started giving them the finger after they passed. I shouldn't really have condoned such behaviour but found it hard to admonish her.



I found time to teach the daughter the age old custom of holding a butter cup under your chin to see if you like butter. If your chin goes yellow, you like butter. It doesn't really work that well with a stubbly beard.



A scattering of young hazelnuts on the path can only mean one thing...



B@stard squirrels!



And yet more b@stard cyclists!!!



We found this bumble bee struggling to fly off the pathway to get out of the way of the bloody cyclists. I think this happens when they collect too much pollen and get too heavy to take off. I've heard that you can pick them up by hand and they realise that you're helping them and don't sting, but one time I rescued a wasp from our pool in Korat and the b@stard stung me on the hand. I picked this bee up using a fern leaf and put him out of harm's way.

And that was it... a lovely couple of hours on a Saturday morning. 

Until on the way home I filled up the car for the first time since arriving in the UK... fukk me, that was a shock.



Another lovely day in Somerset!

----------


## malmomike77

That is cheap for diesel atm

edit

I hate cyclists too, i'd happily take the fukers out with some 2 be 4

----------


## Joe 90

> Until on the way home I filled up the car for the first time since arriving in the UK... fukk me, that was a shock.


I bet it was! Could be worse, its £2 a litre oop norf!





> I hate them (sorry Chitty). Why can't they stick to cycle lanes?


No offence taken, we're used to it!
Cycle lanes are for toddlers and beginners,  not for the seasoned and confident cyclists. 





> A cage to drive sheep into for injections, shagging, etc...


Sids your man on that subject! :cmn: 





> They are certainly biological and maybe have a mossy origin but I don't know.


Fred West may have some answers if you can dig your  weegie board  out of the garage. 





> I thought you were getting your plumbing sorted this weekend?


He's balls deep into a game of twister or dare at the moment,  unfortunately hes had to neck 10 shots of nam pla and will be having a white knuckle ride on the porcelain rollercoaster for the rest of the weekend. 
Getting to be a regular weekend pastime of his ::spin:: 

Great thread mate!

----------


## malmomike77

If i had the time i'd love to take you to some woodland i know in Wiltshire. 

I think its magical spending time in UK woods in summer. There is a particular wood i know which has sweet chestnut trees, not native as they aren't to the UK but they have boughs which c8 feet up branch and they are massive. You climb up and they are 4 feet in diameter and you can just lay back and watch the clouds drift by in semi shade, its a truly special experience, nod off and its OK you don't fall. I first found it about 9 years old and i took all my kids there, they still go without me  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

How's the little un enjoying the UK and the change in weather, M?

I see you're getting a lot of exercise into her, which is always good.

She missing her mom?

Mine never missed hers, that I noticed, in the 5 months we were here without her. :Smile: 

She got any kids to play with down there? 

I was expecting my daughter to have gotten one of the scout leaders to call to pick her up in tears and  be back home sat there playing Roblox by now. I even called them and  asked if I could pay her a little visit to see how she is (she cried for about 2 hours on the night before she went) they refused and said the other kids will get upset and she's doing OK and was one of the first ones to sleep on the first night.

Oh well, last day of being without her, better go find a beer garden. :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle



----------


## Reg Dingle

That on the right is what I've affectionately named  the Stowroni.



A fiery little Italian West English yokel cross with awful taste that will try and fuck you after a couple. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ She loves it here mate... the change in weather hasn't been huge to be  honest as we've been very lucky so far, It's been a good temperature  but without the awful humidity of Isaan so we have been getting out  lots.

The neighbours have kids the same age but they've just  broken up from school and gone away, which is a shame. They used to play  out in the road before in the evenings... yeah, light evenings. Another  bonus. I have to keep reminding the daughter to send messages and  pictures to her mother and hey occasionally chat on Line, but she  doesn't seem to miss her mum much. At home it's always me that does any  activities with her and being here has just meant we have a lot more to  do together.

As usual it's a balance between doing stuff and  having easy days doing nothing... I have to remember it's a holiday for  her and she loves to spend some time watching crap on Tik Tok and  playing Roblox... and it gives me a break.

(I think they sell Stowfords Press in Korat, but I prefer Thatchers when its available.)





> If i had the time i'd love to take you to some woodland i know in Wiltshire.


Yes Mike, the English woodland in the summer is magical and we're spoilt around here. I just wish they would ban the mountain bikers.

We'll be local this coming week as I have my third Pfizer jab booked on Tuesday and we have opticians appointments booked on Thursday. I may be over cautious but I just don't trust much in Thailand and I like a second opinion in the West for things like eye tests, when I get the chance. So this week it'll be a tacky seaside day in Weston-Super-Mare and maybe we'll revisit Clevedon Pier as well to lay to bed that rumour that I'm a tightwad.


But anyway, yesterday afternoon we had a little drive around.

If my life had taken a different course that could have been me on my way to a century at the local rec.



The ground wasn't well attended and I only saw two picnic tables with supporters which seemed a shame, but to be fair we only hung around for about 3 minutes.



It isn't all about cider in Somerset... a local vineyard. With this climate change I think Somerset wine could be rivalling the Ozzies soon enough.



And then we followed in the steps of the Wurzels and went in search of Nempnett Thrubwell.




But first, a football trivia question. What is the connection between Ubley and Liverpool FC?



As you can see from above, finding Nempnett Thrubwell was a bit confusing as the sign pointed in different directions. It seemed that Nempnett Thrubwell isn't really a place but just a scattering of buildings. I couldn't find a road sign either but I think that they don't have one anymore because Wurzel fans keep stealing them.

Blagdon Lake from Nempnett...



A couple of street signs we did find.





And looks like we found something to do in a couple of Sundays time.



After the slightly disappointing search for Nempnett Thrubwell I drove across the dam at Blagdon Lake.



As a teenager I spent hours and days fly fishing for trout on the lake with a group of mates, all of whom I've lost touch with. The memories came flooding back.



We mainly fished from the bank but an occasional boat with a flagon of scrumpy was also enjoyed. I was hoping for a day's fishing from a boat during this trip but with no tackle and no-one to borrow it off it's not really feasible. Another activity consigned to the memory... I have to accept I'll probably never fly fish on Blagdon Lake again.



Blagdon Lake was built at the turn of last century by damming the River Yeo, the same river that flows down from my mum's house after exiting the lake. A railway track used to cross the dam.



The daughter was getting pretty bored with all my reminiscing by this point so I decided to find an ice cream to cheer her up. One of my mum's friends reckons that the world's best ice cream is sold in Cheddar so we headed off across the Mendips in search, although to be honest I don't think my mum's friend has ever left Somerset so I took her claim with a pinch of salt.

Velvet Bottom... an ancient river bed across the Mendips. The hummocky ground is due to lead mining by the Romans a couple of thousand years ago. I think that the heavy metals in the water and rampant inbreeding go a long way to explaining why there are so many weird people in the Mendip area. I'm OK because I drink bottled water these days and my parents were outsiders, or White Settlers as they'd have been called in Scotland.



Many years ago I used to come up to this part of the Mendips with my uncle, a keen herpetologist. During the first few hot days of the year, usually in March, adders come out of hibernation and bask in the sun on rocks to warm up ready for mating. If you stand in the middle of a field and study the surrounding ground with binoculars it's surprising how many snakes you can find, although admittedly you can get some funny looks from passers by. I had a pair of binoculars in the car but sadly the daughter wasn't interested in stopping for a bit of snake spotting. We did see a lot of sheep, however.



And then on down to Cheddar through the gorge.



A couple of obligatory pics of Cheddar Gorge. The road follows the path of the ancient river that cut through the limestone to form the gorge.





Families with kids were clambering around on the cliffs forming the sides of the gorge. The rock faces are surprisingly steep and the limestone is often unstable. Even the mountain goats get it wrong sometimes.



As evidently do the people...



And bollocks to this... I only stopped for a photo.



Sadly I had no choice but to pay for parking when we reached Cheddar for the daughter's ice cream. I'm no tightwad and parted with 80p, although I object to paying in my own stomping ground.



And we reached our destination... purveyors of Marshfield Farm ice cream, the best ice cream in the world!



There were three freezers like this... too much choice to be honest. In the end I went for a double waffle cone with a scoop of strawberry clotted cream and a scoop of raspberry ripple. The daughter went for the same double cone with a scoop of cookies and cream and a scoop of salted caramel.



And although I felt like a bit of a traitor buying Devon cider in Somerset, I picked up a couple of bottles of this to try out.



Lovely! Although I prefer a whippy ice cream with a flake.

----------


## Edmond

Lovely.  :Yup: 


What a great place for mountain biking!  :tumbs:

----------


## Joe 90

Cripple Cock :smiley laughing: ?

Pissing down up here, if it is down there you might want to take your daughter to the cinema this evening. 
I can recommend the Rise of Dru.
Might gives you a heart attack with the entrance prices nowadays though.

----------


## Joe 90

> What a great place for mountain biking!


Was thinking that myself :Smile:

----------


## katie23

Very nice selection of ice cream, Mendy. I can feel my weight gain by just looking at them.  :Smile: 

The hike that you did looked like a substantial one. Respect! (insert thumbs up emoji)

----------


## armstrong

Got me thinking about what I'd do with my daughter in the UK and I reckon 2 days in Norwich with a day trip to Yarmouth included in that would be enough.  The rest of the time being a tourist in London.

If I start saving now should probably be able to treat her for her 40th birthday

----------


## malmomike77

^ You'd better save more as you'll have to pay for her husband too at 40 (and possibly the kids), or wife in this inclusive age, or her they?

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Got me thinking about what I'd do with my daughter in the UK and I reckon 2 days in Norwich with a day trip to Yarmouth included in that would be enough. The rest of the time being a tourist in London.


What about Alton Towers, Legoland, Gullivers Kingdom,West Midlands Safari Park, Blackpool Pleasure Beach, Whipsnade and Twycross Zoo, Norwich and Somersets Tractor worlds?

----------


## Reg Dingle

What would Mendy do? :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> What about Alton Towers, Legoland, Gullivers Kingdom,West Midlands Safari Park, Blackpool Pleasure Beach, Whipsnade and Twycross Zoo, Norwich and Somersets Tractor worlds?


And Greggs.

----------


## armstrong

They have amusement parks and safaris in Thailand, Legoland in Singapore, or is that Disney. We can do tractor world on our ONE DAY there. 

She just needs to see where the queen lives, where I grew up, how cold it is and a wetherspoons.

----------


## Joe 90

> What about Alton Towers, Legoland, Gullivers Kingdom,West Midlands Safari Park, Blackpool Pleasure Beach, Whipsnade and Twycross Zoo, Norwich and Somersets Tractor worlds?


They'll have to remortgage their houses for that lot :Smile: 

I'm taking mine wild camping on the west coast of Wales next week.
No arcades, no Ice cream, no fun fair, just a bbq the sea, beach and nature.
Not even gonna pay for a campsite or parking.
The petrol bill to this isolated paradise will probably set me back a £100.

----------


## Joe 90

> What would Mendy do?


Clean his toenails with it?

----------


## Reg Dingle

:smiley laughing: 
They look cleaner than mine in one of the pics on here




> Many years ago I used to come up to this part of the Mendips with my uncle, a keen herpetologist


Eddie mentioned he has a few genital warts that need looking at.
Is he cheaper than Red Cross, Bangkok?

----------


## malmomike77

> What would Mendy do


He'd not go to the foot specialist to get the early on set bunions sorted but then again i don't think he'd wear the heels that caused them in the first place  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ From 15 years of wearing flip flops to a cruel shift to work issued steel capped  boots.


Had to get them to order me some extra wide but still rub.

I have pics somewhere of huge blisters, bunions and calouses with big bits of skin hanging off, around the time Mendy started that show us your feet thread. Unfortunately my phone camera was playing up

----------


## Reg Dingle



----------


## Joe 90

Did you have difficulty adjusting to walking normally from dragging your feet.

You can tell the Asians that have spent the best part of their lives in flip flops over here by the way they walk.

They struggle to lift their feet or lift them too much, basically they look out of sorts.

I expect Mendy is tucking into the full Sunday Roast!
I'm cooking a full roast in the dry airfryer,  shouldn't be long now.
Hank marvin after a one hour walk in the rain with the dog.

----------


## Mendip

> What would Mendy do?


Didn't your mum tell you not to bite your nails?

If I was on a plane the obvious thing to do would be to stand next to the fork, bend down and pretend to re-tie my laces while palming the fork and pocketing it later. That doesn't really work with flip flops but to be honest I'm not really interested in Wetherspoons cutlery anyway.





> No arcades, no Ice cream, no fun fair, just a bbq the sea, beach and nature.


... and three bottles of rot gut brandy!  :Smile: 

No ice cream would be a red line for us I'm afraid.





> 


Sorry, but WTF???

This is a family thread.





> I expect Mendy is tucking into the full Sunday Roast!


Uncanny Joe...

Me mum's a bit stingy with the peas but I didn't say aything.



Other than that it's been a quiet day. I spent a couple of hours this morning scrubbing my ammonite, and no, that's not a euphemism.

A few days ago I picked up a Monopoly set from a charity shop for 65p and after Sunday roast we decided to have a game. We discovered it's not the normal one and have been trying to get to grips with it... but it's pretty shite I reckon. And I'm 2-1 down.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Me mum's a bit stingy with the peas but I didn't say aything.


And carrot :Smile: ... but look at that stuffing. Have you Southerners not discovered Yorkshire pudding yet or gravy?

Looks a winner though

----------


## Joe 90

65p bargain!! :Smile: 

It's nice to have someone else do the cooking hey.

My Sunday dinner looks crap compared to yours...

Dry airfryed..



My youngest will only eat sunday dinners when they're presented like this, 6 baby Sunday dinners...

This has to be the worlds smallest Sunday dinner!!




My abortion...




You taken mini Mendip out BlackBerry picking yet?

Loads up here this past week, gonna make a crumble for dessert!



Custard or cream??
That is thy question...

----------


## Mendip

^ That's strange, all the blackberries I've seen are still green or red and nowhere near ready to pick yet. Isn't September normal?

How come yours are ready already with all the shite weather you get oop norf?

^^ Yeah, a single piece of carrot! What's that about?  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> How come yours are ready already with all the shite weather you get oop norf?


Those two hot days were the catalyst,  the bushs are laden down with them now.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Did you have difficulty adjusting to walking normally from dragging your feet


You see that photo of Mendy, precariously wading out into the Atlantic Ocean, near ball deep, all  tensed up, knuckles  dragging on the sand? Like evolution in reverse.


Nah it was nothing like that, I had a few pairs of sneakers in Thailand.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> That's strange, all the blackberries I've seen are still green or red and nowhere near ready to pick yet. Isn't September normal?
> 
> How come yours are ready already with all the shite weather you get oop norf?


I think you answered your own question there :Smile: 

It's there Autumn up there now.

I'm sure the wife was eating the last of her/our home grown strawberries this week. Every time one  ripened she'd be there fukkin scoffing it. I had at the most 2 of the fuckers this summer.
They were good too, really  flavoursome and succulent. Didn't look as good as those big bastard imported ones you see but the taste was amazing.

She's grown all kinds of shit in the garden in pots this year, I'll have to do a guess the plant thread.
She's also made the garden look like her home in Isaan with loads of bamboo knotted together with plastic bags and left all of my emptied beer bottles and cans in a pile in a plant pot in full view, bless.
We're just missing the cherry Fanta and spirit house.
The soils like clay so trying to persuade her into some decking and a Honolulu style bar shack.
Any chance if  I drop her at the airport of doing like you did in Munich and g a Thai how to get back home? :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Any chance if I drop her at the airport of doing like you did in Munich and g a Thai how to get back home?


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Joe 90

Hey Dill how many have you had today? :Smile: 

Mendips had 2 bottles of crippled cock at £3 a pop.FFS

Get on the Ale Mendip!

It'll put hairs on your chest :Smile: 

Cheap as chips here as well...

----------


## Mendip

^^^  Yeah, no problem but I get the aisle seat.

Maybe she could babysit my daughter in Bangkok for a couple of days when we arrive?  I have some business to attend to.

----------


## DrWilly

> ^^^  Yeah, no problem but I get the aisle seat.
> 
> Maybe she could babysit my daughter in Bangkok for a couple of days when we arrive?  I have some business to attend to.



doesnt take long for those passports, eh? :lamo: 

The Sunday roast looked good. 

Joe, your Sunday roast looked good for the dog. I suggest you go to a Wetherspoons

----------


## Mendip

Yesterday started out a bit drizzly but I didn't want to waste a day inside so we went for a walk in the woods. For many years I've only walked through these woods during our winter trips and the greenery in the summer provided a stark contrast to the browns and greys of the winter.



King's wood is an ancient woodland that has been managed for centuries.



The idea was that the canopy would keep the drizzle off us, but the sun soon came out anyway.





It's nice to see that the wood from fallen trees is harvested which enables the survival of the woodland.



We went in search of a badger set I remembered from years ago but it appeared to no longer be in habitation. Somerset is sadly one of the few counties in England where badgers (a usually protected species) are exterminated by gassing in the very unsubstantiated belief that they spread TB to cattle. I hope that wasn't the case here... I find the practise abhorrent.



Moss was everywhere in the half light of the wood.



This tree appeared to be growing out of a loose limestone boulder.



I'm guessing this tree would be centuries old to grow so massive.



This spectacular looking tree appeared to have grown along the old dry stone wall.



I don't know which type of tree that was... MalmoMike?



All stages of blackberries here but none ripe enough to eat. It's a mystery to me how Joe can be picking ripe blackberries at this time of year up in the cold and bleak north.



We eventually broke out of the woods onto the slopes of Wavering Down. By now it was a full sunny day... we're having a wonderful summer in England this year.



Our destination was a signpost halfway up the hill  before descending back down to the car. the daughter has become obsessed with money lately and bet me £2 she cold beat me to the top...



I decided to teach her a lesson... oh dear!  :Smile: 



We walked (staggered) up along this ridge.



Crook Peak in the distance to the west but not our destination this time. They say Crook Peak was used as a beacon site to warn in case the Spanish Armada headed up to the West Country and you can see why. It can be seen for miles around.



One of Somerset's famous right-angled cows. It is wonderful to see farm animals enjoying a free life.



And our destination. As I stood back to take a photo the daughter ran past me and was the first to touch the post... and claimed her £2... the little bugger.



Young acorns forming.



There's always something to spoil the mood... b@stards...



Lords and Ladies... highly toxic. I wouldn't mind force feeding a few down these bloody cyclists...





It was thirsty work, so on our return to my mum's house we took a walk down the village.

Past the 15th Century church, although we walked through the graveyard to say hello to my dad.



And on to the only surviving pub in the village. There used to be four pubs in the village, two while I was growing up, and now only one. A sign of the times.







How wonderful to find a pub with no less than five draught ciders. What I'd give to have even one draught cider available in Korat!

From left to right... Inch's, Thatchers Dry, Thatchers Gold and Thatcher Haze.



And last but not least... Hedgers Mendip Shine. (I didn't get to try this one this time, as I was responsibly taking care of my daughter - I think it could be trouble).



They say that everything is bigger in Somerset... if you know what I mean.



You don't get much bigger than this!

----------


## DrWilly

Fantastic day out. What did you eat for lunch and did the Irish wolfhound steal before you could scarf it?

----------


## malmomike77

> It's nice to see that the wood from fallen trees is harvested which enables the survival of the woodland.


Actually the opposite. Most woodland managers now recognise the value of leaving fallen trees to rot as the micro environment they generate fosters growth of fungus and its been found these fungi growing underground link with the roots of the trees and help provide nutrients and other benefits. After the great storm in 87' they subsequently found that most woods recovered better if they fallen trees were left where they fell.




> I don't know which type of tree that was... MalmoMike?


Look like a Lime. Its a shame its not in flower as the perfume from the lime in full flower is amazing, not a tree like it. If you are in a wood where one is flowering the breeze carries it everywhere. The wood from lime is the best for carving you can get as it has little grain and is relatively soft. They grow to a large size and i think the one which you also showed which was large and had many top shoots is also a lime.

Great Danes are lovely dogs but sadly don't live long. I had a Great Dane in Nepal years ago but she left as she had to get back to work.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^^It's a Great Dane, I think

----------


## Mendip

> Fantastic day out. What did you eat for lunch and did the Irish wolfhound steal before you could scarf it?


I had a bag of Quavers with a pickled egg dropped in, the daughter just had Quavers.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Interesting stuff Mike, I was reading recently how trees are connected by fungi and are thought to communicate along lines of fungi roots, or something like that. Fascinating.

You can see that a lot of the fallen trees have been left to rot, by 'survival' I was more suggesting that by harvesting wood, the woodland management is financed to some degree.

----------


## malmomike77

They'll rotationally coppice every 5 years or so, staggering it across the woodland. Most coppiced woodland is managed like that for charcoal.

----------


## BLD

> ^^^ Interesting stuff Mike, I was reading recently how trees are connected by fungi and are thought to communicate along lines of fungi roots, or something like that. Fascinating.
> 
> You can see that a lot of the fallen trees have been left to rot, by 'survival' I was more suggesting that by harvesting wood, the woodland management is financed to some degree.


Slightly different. Many years ago while working for Cra who later became rio tinto we were  sampling the leaves of specific trees in the eastern Goldfields  of Western Australia these bags of leaves were burnt and the ashes analysed for traces of copper,gold or base minerals with surprisingly good results. It was an inexact science though and managed to give a few geologists a chubby.   But looking for minerals. Gotta try everything

----------


## Joe 90

> It's a mystery to me how Joe can be picking ripe blackberries at this time of year up in the cold and bleak north


Never seen so many this year, took this before..

----------


## Backspin

Are you in the army Chitt ? Or is using the 24 hr clock a British thing

We have wild blackberries all over the west coast. They were brought here by the British in the 1800's. Spread like wildfire. I eat them like candy. Washing them is for pussies. I eat them right off the stem.

----------


## Joe 90

> Are you in the army Chitt ?


Too old for that mallarky nowadays.

I'll eat them off the stem as well, while the dog merrily runs himself ragged trying to catch crows.

----------


## Mendip

> But on a more serious note the acid will react with the calcium carbonate and turn to water, as it’s a neutralization reaction. You need to keep changing the acid or vinegar at as it reacts and disappears with that enormous mass of rock.


After a night in the acid bath the bubbles soon stopped... as you say Willy, it became neutralised. I topped up the acid and now have cleaned off most of the calcareous mudstone from the pyrite surface. But there is bad news... meanwhile I sent a few emails off to likely 'fossily' places and had this reply... the red text is my editing.


_Hi Mendip

That’s a whopper (the ammonite). I’m afraid I would expect the pyrite to have taken over the specimen throughout, with the most likely outcome a large ammonite shape lump of pyrite. In any case the pyrite will rapidly decay now its exposed to air/humidity, so ultimately you will be left with a sulphurous dust and/or sulphuric acid :/_ 


_Fossil man_


So it seems I risked re-igniting my hernia for nothing. On the plus side my mum now has a nice lump of pyrite in her garden and she won't need to get it taken away as it will just weather away of it's own accord. The perfect present really. At least I have a small ammonite to take home as a memento of the Dorset leg of our pilgrimage, but to say I'm disappointed would be an understatement. I may try and just smash it apart with the hammer to see what is inside.







> managed to give a few geologists a chubby... Gotta try everything


It doesn't take much these days, mate.





> We have wild blackberries all over the west coast. I eat them like  candy. Washing them is for pussies. I eat them right off the stem.


Good luck with eating the low hanging blackberries on the Mendips without washing them first.

I usually give several bunches a good soaking... just because I can!  :Smile: 




Yesterday was the daughter's introduction to a traditional English seaside resort in the summer. She has been to the pantomime in Weston-Super-Mare on several occasions during our winter Christmas visits and these places are truly grim during the winter months. They're also pretty grim during the summer but at least it was nice and sunny.

My first stop was Boots on Weston-Super-Mare High Street for a Covid booster jab. WSM has the highest concentration of mobility scooters in Europe... I reckon.



Many years ago there were some nice shops along the High Street, but they have deserted the place. After my jab we headed off to the seafront... followed by another mobility scooter convoy. I mean, WTF has happened to people. A little later on the pier I saw what must be the most obese woman I have ever seen sitting on a groaning scooter and I doubt she was out of her 30s. I maybe carry a couple of extra pounds at times but visiting Weston made me feel like an Olympian.



I resisted a 'Giant Gobstopper' but caught this seagull taking gulps of water from a fountain.



You can see in this pic where he'd taken a mouthful of water from the stream.



Our first port of call... the giant Ferris wheel.



The kiosk was blaring out George Ezra (according to the daughter) and it all felt very holidayey.



A tenner for the two of us... I thought it a bit high ( :Smile: ) but we did get four revolutions.



We went so high you could just see the sea. The Severn Estuary/Bristol Channel is blessed with the second of third highest tide in the world and Springs can easily be 12 or 13 metres, which creates a huge distance between high and low tide across the flat ground.



To the south, Brean Down which could be though of as the westerly-most limit of the Mendip Hills. There's a fort on Brean Down built to defend against a potential Napoleonic invasion. It's on our list if we don't run out of time.



And looking inland at the... Mendips, of course.



During this holiday together I've been sharing a lot of memories with the daughter to give her some idea of my past. For some reason, sitting in that Ferris wheel gondola brought back a long ago memory of sharing a cable car gondola from Mount Faber to Sentosa Island with a Filipina 'friend' I was knocking around with at the time. I kept that memory to myself.



The deal was, if the daughter joined me on the Ferris wheel, then I had to join her on this thing but much to her disgust I backed out. You should see the speed those cubicles spin around at... all I could think about was detached retinas and slipped disks. I must be getting old... 



And the donkey rides of course. The island past the donkeys is Steep Holm and the island past the guy in red with a metal detector is Flat Holm. I think both are nature reserves. Wales is on the horizon.





The Promenade.



Every year toursits get stuck in the mud and are caught out by the tides. I'm not one to make generalisations but they alomost always have Brummie or Scouse accents.



Next on our itinerary was the Weston Seaquarium, which I was really looking forward to. I love to see the native species of the UK.

But we discovered it shut in March 2019 and was now a restaurant. There are still road signs to it around WSM... tossers...



And then on to the Tropicana. When I was a kid this was the world famous WSM open air pool with art deco diving boards (10m high) that was built back in the 1930s. Even Laurel and Hardy visted one time, back in the heyday.

My mum says that as a kid she used to get the bus from Brisol to swim in Weston's open air pool.



With Weston's decline the pool was closed in the early 80s and was redeveloped into a leisure complex called the Tropicana... which also eventually closed. The weather in the UK is just not good enough for open air pools and leisure complexes and they can't compete with cheap foreign travel. Maybe that will change post Covid and with climate change?

The place is still called the Tropicana and was where Banksey had his 'Dismaland' exhibition a few years ago.



It's now advertising the 'Sea monster'... which bizarrely enough is a North Sea platform which is being turned into some kind of art exhibition.



I think the old pool would have looked nicer.

After that we battled our way back down the Promenade...



To the main event...



The Grand Pier!



I was happy to pay the £2 entry fee, it was just enough to keep the riff-raff out.



Weston-Super-Mare is often referred to as Weston-Super-Mud... infairly in my opinion. It has a nice sandy beach that goes out for many tens of metres before the mud starts.



And besides, people seem to enjoy wading in the mud.



As a kid I spent many an afternoon clambering around in the mud under the pier to find coins that had dropped down between the decking. There is an amusement arcade at the end of the pier which provided an endless supply of coins. On a good afternoon we could make maybe 30p each, enough to cover the bus fair and get a bag of sweets. The daughter wasn't in the slightest bit interested in trying our luck down there... changing times.



And I noticed there are still plenty of gaps between the decking to allows coins to fall through.



First up, lunch. Cod and chips with mushy peas.



With drinks, for an eyewatering 29 quid. A big money shot...



The daughter has been asking me lots of difficult question lately... she's 11 and on the cusp of some big changes and I'm constantly expecting some kind of awkward question or other. As we sat alone eating our cod and chips she came out with, 

"Dad, if you had a choice of never eating fish and chips again in your life or never eating steak and kidney pie again in your life, which would you choose?"

This was one of the hardest questions to date. Steak and kidney pie plays such a huge part in my life I had to go for fish and chips, but it took some thought.

And then on to the amusement arcade.

You put a pound coin in these machines and get change in 2p peices.



I just love these 2p nudge machines and can't believe I haven't played on them for probably 35 years or so.



The daughter played on the machine next to mine and became instantly addicted.



And I hadn't lost it!



I noticed there was no longer wooden deck flooring in the arcade area, cutting off that small income for the local kids. Of course it's always tempting to try and win big when you see a load of 2p pieces teetering on the edge, about to fall, but it's a fool's game. They all go back in... who wants to go home with a pocket full of change?



It was time to head back to the beach.



But there was still some more amusement to be had.

The daughter became concerned about some tourists who had walked all the way out to the water's edge and the tide was heading back in. She has a good set of eyes on her.



They were out there somewhere, but buggered if I could see them.



And then this guy drove out onto the beach and played a siren...



And eventually, back to shore they walked... grumbling in Brummie and Scouse, no doubt.



A quick 99 and then back for us as well. All of these ice creams haven't been kind to me.



A few pics of the beach from the pier. 





The UK can be a great place if the weather is good.



But all good things come to an end. Another memory revisited, and no offense Weston, but I don't think I'll be visiting your Grand Pier again.



The days are ticking by.

----------


## malmomike77

^ Forgive me if 'm wrong Mendip but this was the feeling of you having a holiday reminiscing and possibly seeing the old places for the last time  :Smile:  Are you planning on taking mini to Kernow to show her what being a grockle is like?

----------


## Joe 90

Didnt know you had mines named Speedwell down there, I thought the only one was oop here!

We did the tour last month..

Speedwell Cavern - Things To Do in The Peak District and Derbyshire

----------


## DrWilly

> to Sentosa Island with a Filipina 'friend'


ho ho ho. I know what you mean! Maid’s day in Singapore. 


Anyway, great day out, lil Mendip finally had a day that she enjoyed!

----------


## Edmond

Lovely.




> First up, lunch. Cod and chips with mushy peas.
> 
> 
> 
> With drinks, for an eyewatering 29 quid.


Set up a Pla Nin pond and Fith an Chip shop nearby.

Last time we were in London we got a light Lebanese dinner near the Natural History Museum and the 90 quid bill was surprising. Could buy a Lebanese fertilizer storage facility for that!

----------


## Topper

I've really enjoyed this thread Mendip, thanks!

----------


## hallelujah

> WSM has the highest concentration of mobility scooters in Europe... I reckon.
> 
> 
> A little later on the pier I saw what must be the most obese woman I have ever seen sitting on a groaning scooter and I doubt she was out of her 30s. I maybe carry a couple of extra pounds at times but visiting Weston made me feel like an Olympian.


Did you get any of their numbers?

Joe said he'll be down on the first train tomorrow.

----------


## Joe 90

> first train tomorrow.


Good luck with that, they're all on strike again.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ This is on special at Tesco, bro...

----------


## malmomike77

Have you tried it out yet?

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: 

You fvcking wrongun Dill!

I can see Mendy taking a few jars of that back to Thailand  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Erm... yeah that's why I picked it up..
 to show Mendy. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I thought you'd solved my problem of what to get the dogs for presents, but at £5.49 a jar on Amazon, bollocks to that... £38.43 for all seven!!!

Besides, I'd be worried it might aggravate my rash.

----------


## hallelujah

> Besides, I'd be worried it might aggravate my rash.


In that case, get Dan dressed up in her best negligee, stick that wig on her again and tell her to get ready for something to really celebrate her golden years!






























Have we gone as low as we absolutely can with this one now?  :smiley laughing:

----------


## malmomike77

Dill with inevitably post a pic with his King Charles licking the Peamutt butter off his dick  :Smile:  so no, no i don't think we have

----------


## hallelujah

> Dill with inevitably post a pic with his King Charles licking the Peamutt butter off his dick  so no, no i don't think we have


When things go low, you can guarantee that Dil will have been involved somewhere along the line.  :Smile: 

Did you see the picture he posted on the post your work out thread?  :rofl: 

Howling (pardon the pun)!

----------


## malmomike77

^ Dill get that puppy back up will you.

----------


## BLD

The donkey rides look like fun, but is there a weight limit? Asking for a friend.

----------


## bsnub

> I can see Mendy taking a few jars of that back to Thailand


He could turn it into a proper gangbang with all those bitches. 

 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Shutree

> She has been to the pantomime in Weston-Super-Mare on several occasions during our winter Christmas visits and these places are truly grim during the winter months. They're also pretty grim during the summer but at least it was nice and sunny.


I seem to recall that you reported a visit to Weston on your last trip and described it in very harsh terms. Yet here you are, back again!
I hope Mini Mendip had an enjoyable and memorable day.

----------


## hallelujah

Updates, Mendy!

We demand updates to the thread!

----------


## Edmond

> Updates, Mendy!
> 
> We demand updates to the thread!



'Bigfoot' caught on camera: Yeti-like creature spotted on Welsh mountain  | UK | News | Express.co.uk

*Yeti-like creature spotted on Welsh mountain*

----------


## DrWilly

A friend just went back to the UK, taking his son and daughter for first time. They got COVID and spent the last week in isolation.

----------


## Mendip

^^ We haven't made it to Wales yet so not guilty. Coincidentally enough my Welsh mate from Korat is coming over next week with his son, and bizarrely enough his wife as well. I don't think we'll be catching up though as I've only ever visited Wales for passport renewals in Newport but... and call me strange... I prefer to do that in Bangkok these days.

Anyway Ed, eat your heart out. This is what early morning abs exercises are about.







> Updates, Mendy!
> We demand updates to the thread!


Yes, sorry about that mate I've been a bit remiss that last few days. These threads are hard work. We spent the day in Wells yesterday but the photos need to be sorted out so for now  I'll just add a mishmash of stuff from the last few days of doing not much at all.





> ^ Forgive me if 'm wrong Mendip but this was the feeling of you having a holiday reminiscing and possibly seeing the old places for the last time



Yeah Mike, I've been getting that feeling of doing many of these things for the last time... almost like putting to bed past memories and accepting that things have moved on. I binned my rotted coarse fishing tackle last week... 35 years after it should have gone. This trip has been a surprise to me... I'm loving being here but don't really feel that 'connection' any more and have realised I couldn't live here permanently again. I'm even missing my home in Korat a little bit and will be happy to go back in a couple of weeks (and will thoroughly enjoy the first day or so). One day I'll find somewhere to settle.





> Didnt know you had mines named Speedwell down there, I thought the only one was oop here!


Speedwell is an area in east Bristol where there used to be a lot of coal mines. You often get coal in association with Carboniferous limestone (of which the Mendips mainly consist of).





> Anyway, great day out, lil Mendip finally had a day that she enjoyed!


She's been having a great time and has really been enjoying the light evenings and playing with the neighbour's kids, but that stuff isn't good for photos!. She doesn't admit it but I reckon she's even enjoying the long walks on the Mendips. But of coarse it can't all be fun and a couple of days ago we revisited Weston for a trip to the opticians... and a proper old fashioned eye test for both of us came up with very different prescriptions than the machine automated tests we've had in Thailand. I like to do this every couple of years and it was an expensive visit but the new specs (5 for me, 2 for the daughter) should last us a couple of years at least.

But on the way in we visited a place I discovered a few years ago which is now religiously on our list during a UK trip.



The bargains here are unbelievable. The daughter got a couple of pairs of tracky bottoms and a hoody; I got meself a T-shirt, some decent underwear and some new slipper/flip-flop things for the garden. I can never seem to find decent ones in Thailand.

And check out the bargain!







> The donkey rides look like fun, but is there a weight limit? Asking for a friend.


I'm at the stage now where I should be giving the donkeys a ride. I'm sure there is a weight limit and I know that the RSPCA is all over these places so they are very careful. I think these donkeys probably have a pretty good life.





> I seem to recall that you reported a visit to Weston on your last trip and described it in very harsh terms. Yet here you are, back again!
> I hope Mini Mendip had an enjoyable and memorable day.


Weston-Super-Mare is pretty grim with a declining High Street and an obvious drug problem but it's handy for shopping and eye tests, without the hassle of driving into Bristol and finding parking. In fact, on a nice hot sunny day there's plenty in Weston to keep a kid occupied and I quite enjoyed it meself if truth be told. In general I'm quite enjoying walking amongst people I can understand and with the same accents.


Rain has been forecast today so the daughter may get her wish and have a Monopoly session later. Rain has been forecast several times since we've been here but it never seems to come to anything, which is the exact opposite of what I expected from this holiday. Usually it never stops raining in the West Country

Even the cows got it wrong a couple of says ago and it remained dry for the day.



I also have some unfinished business at a local farm shop. A few days ago I saw these pies but thought them a bit pricey so left them be... but my mum's let us down badly on the steak and kidney pie front so I'm returning today to pick up a couple for lunch.



That farm shop is part of a nursery which also sells exotic pets. I spotted these... in Korat we are absolutely inundated with millipedes during the wet season and must be sitting on a goldmine.

----------


## Bonecollector

Nice pics Mendip, do they really charge a quid to go on pier's now? news to me. With regards to the current state of the nation's health, there are some absolute porkers hanging around. I saw one with a gunt bigger than her belly the other day, dressed in lycra and eating a Greggs sausage roll and an X large can of Red Bull no less. Shame about your fossil!

----------


## malmomike77

Steak and kidney pie, monopoly and dry cider, day sorted.

----------


## Mendip

^ Ha! Just added Thatchers shop to our itinerary!

----------


## hallelujah

> A friend just went back to the UK, taking his son and daughter for first time. They got COVID and spent the last week in isolation.


Why? There are no requirements to isolate anymore in the UK.

----------


## hallelujah

> Yes, sorry about that mate I've been a bit remiss that last few days. These threads are hard work. We spent the day in Wells yesterday but the photos need to be sorted out so for now  I'll just add a mishmash of stuff from the last few days of doing not much at all.


I actually put some pics up from Wells earlier in the thread. Was there anyone playing croquet on the lawn of the Bishop's Palace again?

You'd never get away with letting so many people loose on a park with mallets in Manchester. The police would be called within 5 minutes.

----------


## Neverna

Weston-super-Mare are playing a pre-season friendly at home today, Mendip. 3pm kick off...against Yeovil.

----------


## PAG

2.45 pounds for a genuine steak and kidney pie is quite reasonable.   Here in Phuket, a 'Lady Pie' (local makers) sell steak and kidney pies for 110 baht, essentially the same price though what you're having there will be a thousand times better.

----------


## hallelujah

> Weston-super-Mare are playing a pre-season friendly at home today, Mendip. 3pm kick off...against Yeovil.


Local derby. Pitched, sorry pitchfork battles ahead.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ There'll be no battle,they are all fukkin related :Smile: 





> I've been a bit remiss that last few days.


I was wondering where you'd got to earlier today, whilst sat there stuck behind a tractor.

I thought I bet he's at that Travelodge, one of  the few hotel chains in the world that doesn't offer free wifi :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

That's like our British version of a sports Walmart, Snubby. :Smile: 

Even Chitty stays out of there and shops upmarket at Decathlon :Smile: 

That fukker Mike Ashley owns House of Fraser now too and has started selling all that Sports Direct forced Asian child labour shit in there and dragged the place down with the huge declime in quality and 90% off sales regularly advertised.
More sales there than fukkin DFS :Smile: 







> Weston-Super-Mare is pretty grim with a declining High Street


Every town in the UK is the same now, All of the high Street shops have moved to factory units and big depots in retail parks near the motorways. On the High Street now are just charity shops, bookies, pubs, cash converters, chippies, specsavers and Sports fukkin direct. No wonder the places are full of thieving chavs, doleites, refugees and beggars :Smile: 

McDonalds, KFC, Burger King and Pizza Hut have all upped sticks from the High Street here and moved to the retail park.
Most transactions are online nowadays.

----------


## BLD

> 2.45 pounds for a genuine steak and kidney pie is quite reasonable.   Here in Phuket, a 'Lady Pie' (local makers) sell steak and kidney pies for 110 baht, essentially the same price though what you're having there will be a thousand times better.


We could get them lady pies all the way from.phuket to a remote minesite in Laos for a while there.  Don't know who was organising that but it must of been some challenging logistics and I certainly availed of them

----------


## DrWilly

> 2.45 pounds for a genuine steak and kidney pie is quite reasonable.   Here in Phuket, a 'Lady Pie' (local makers) sell steak and kidney pies for 110 baht, essentially the same price though what you're having there will be a thousand times better.



That's what I was just thinking. 

The good news is I found some kidneys, so going to make a Steak and Kidney pie tomorrow.

----------


## Mendip

> I actually put some pics up from Wells earlier in the thread. Was there anyone playing croquet on the lawn of the Bishop's Palace again?


And much appreciated mate, I forgot those were on this thread. And the croquet was ongoing...





> Weston-super-Mare are playing a pre-season friendly at home today, Mendip. 3pm kick off...against Yeovil.


Damn, we missed that one. Next time...




> 2.45 pounds for a genuine steak and kidney pie is quite reasonable.   Here in Phuket, a 'Lady Pie' (local makers) sell steak and kidney pies for 110 baht, essentially the same price though what you're having there will be a thousand times better.


You're quite right PAG, I just still haven't got used to seeing UK prices in the UK. The last time I lived here a s&K pie cost 70p, but I happily pay 150 Baht for a pie in Korat. 





> I thought I bet he's at that Travelodge, one of  the few hotel chains in the world that doesn't offer free wifi


FFS... I hope you're kidding. Again, this would have been great advice _BEFORE_ I booked the room.


Anyway, following Mike's suggestion...




> Steak and kidney pie, monopoly and dry cider, day sorted.


I headed out to get prepared for a rainy day.

On the way we were behind an interesting queue of cars... something else I miss when living in Asia.

My first car was an 'F' plate Mk I Escort, but sky blue... the same age as me.



And then...



From apples just down the road.



But anyway, £2.45 for a pretty damn good pie. I also bought a couple of lamb and mint pies for the train on or way to London on Monday.

We ate them with some oven chips and peas while I planned next weeks finale walk to the highest point of the Mendips.



If I would have one small criticism... neither me or the daughter had a single piece of kidney in our pies... there's always something...

----------


## DrWilly

> If I would have one small criticism... neither me or the daughter had a single piece of kidney in our pies... there's always something...


GO back and complain, bloody kidneyless Steak and Kidney pie! Not good enough! 






> FFS... I hope you're kidding. Again, this would have been great advice BEFORE I booked the room.


You know you could always just cancel that room and book a better place. Sure you'll lose a deposit or summthink. But, might be worth it?

----------


## Joe 90

> You know you could always just cancel that room and book a better place. Sure you'll lose a deposit or summthink. But, might be worth it?


You try booking something in London at this short notice  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## DrWilly

> You try booking something in London at this short notice



That's a point...be worth a try though, eh?

----------


## Joe 90

> That's a point...be worth a try though, eh?


Hours on the tinterweb looking for another room, fvck that lives too short. 
It's just a place to sleep and if its central to all the places that you wanna visit then happy days.

----------


## DrWilly

> Hours on the tinterweb looking for another room, fvck that lives too short. 
> It's just a place to sleep and if its central to all the places that you wanna visit then happy days.



How many pints in?

A flophouse might serve a single bloke out on the sauce, that really only needs a soft landing for when he passes out. But a dad with kid might want something more comfortable to relax in after a long way walking and sightseeing. Preferably with wifi.

----------


## Mendip

^ It was a non-refundable booking... I got a good price!

Reg Dingle is notoriously fussy when it come to hotel rooms. It's a great location, a great price even with a tenner for Wifi. I think it's been refurbished since all those bad reviews but I do hope the window opens. Anyway, we'll find out tomorrow.


One of my sisters lives in Wells so we drove the 15 miles across the Mendips to visit her a couple of days ago. Much to my daughter's constant annoyance all of these trips are educational and first stop was at a famous landmark at the bottom of Burrington Combe.



As we left to continue our journey I saw a sign and realised I'd taken the photo of the wrong recess in the limestone rock. There was nowhere to stop so I had to carry on and find a turning, do a U-turn and come back for a second attempt. I took a photo of a second cutting in the rock.



As we returned to the car, a kindly passer by asked if I realised that The Rock of Ages was on the other side of the road, by a green plaque saying as much. The daughter took great pleasure in telling him that her dad had already take pictures of the wrong rocks... twice.

Anyway... The Rock of Ages. The cleft running up the centre is the significant part, although a geologist would simply call it a less resistant layer of heavily folded Carboniferous limestone that has weathered faster than the surrounding layers.



In 1763 the Reverend Augustus Montague Toplady was travelling to Blagdon when he was caught in a storm. He took shelter in the cleft and while protected from the wind and rain he conceived the hymn, Rock of Ages. 



Whether religious or not, I think it's a nice tune.




After dropping the car at my sister's we walked into Wells.

This is the Church of St Thomas (built 1856) minus it's spire which blew down in February during storm Eunice.



Wells is dominated by the 850 year-old cathedral. Building started in 1175 to replace an older church that had stood at the site since 705. Everywhere in Wells just smells of history.



A side view. We hit a lovely warm day again.



These soldiers are supposed to strike the bell with their lances on the hour but the clock had stopped. We were there around 11:30.



And that brown thing is apparently modern art... I think it says a lot when you compare the intricate stone figures carved around 800 years ago to that metal box monstrosity. It was cobbled together by someone called Anthony Gormley who also made the Angel of the North (according to my sister). I reckon I could weld up a more realistic figure using my arc welder and some scrap metal back in Korat in about 10 minutes. I kept my views to myself though as my sister and her daughter are into the arts, both being violinists, which is why they ended up in Wells in the first place.



And the front of Wells Cathedral.



No rusty metal box figures there.



A very relaxed place. Across the green from the cathedral, the Swan Hotel looked like a nice place to stay... probably a bit nicer than my Travelodge will be next week?



The Penniless Porch, built by some monk for the poor to shelter in while begging. I don't know who the girl was, she was nothing to do with us but I waited an age for her to leave but she was so engrossed in her phone I gave up waiting.



We had lunch in a 'cafe'... I am very different from my sister, there was an old pub the other side of the square. The windows were nice and historic but there was no cider.



Outside the cafe this plaque was embedded into the pavement.



I was gearing up to attempt the jump myself... I held the school 4th year record at my comp back in 1982 at around 4.5 metres and this didn't seem so difficult. Sadly, my daughter is now at an age where I embarrass her doing stuff like that and she refused to take a photo. In fact the daughter, sister and niece all disappeared so I was left on my own looking like a bit of a twat. Another memory put to bed.



But for those interested here was the local girl in action.




I was left to search for the rest of our gang... nowhere to be seen.



Only one place they could be really.





The Bishop's Palace is surrounded by a moat although it's become a bit clogged by algae at the moment.



We took a walk around the moat which is famous for it's swans. Here's a proud parent with five cygnets.



There's been a problem with blue green algae across the southwest this summer. It;s highly toxic and several dogs have died after ingesting tainted water. It was lucky we didn't have Maya with us because she'd have been in that moat, chasing the swans in a heartbeat.



A typical English countryside view in the other direction.



And a small waterfall at the end of the last side of the moat. I think they should look into increasing water circulation to improve the water quality... a subject close to my heart but not my responsibility this time. I'm on me hols.



And then back to the drawbridge and entance through the ancient walls into the inner sanctum.

That bell on the wall is for the swans to ring for food... but I don't think the current inhabitants had been trained.



It looked a bit high for the swans to reach, to be honest.



And the other parent hanging out with some ducks. The daughter also spotted a putrid, rotting pigeon corpse drifting about in this area but I kept it out of the photo.



The drawbridge and entrance to the Bishop's Palace.



And raised portcullis.



And Hal and Chitty still playing croquet. I'm determined to make myself a set back home. I'll have to warn the gardener to get busy on the lawn.



We didn't pay to go into the Bishop's Palace... and it wasn't my choice! But a little info...



The Bishop of Bath and Wells' reputation precedes him...




Back out in the real world and The Crown (where we should have had lunch imho...).



Famous for two events...



And more recently...  :Smile: 



I also spotted a very rare sight in the UK... an open branch of my bank!



And finally, Vicar's Close... which is claimed to be the oldest, purely residential street with original buildings intact in Europe. There's been people living there since the mid 14th Century. I bet it would be a nightmare with planners trying to get permission for a shed here.





And that was it. On the way back I had to make one more stop at the bottom of Burrington Combe. Not for another picture of the Rock of Ages but to look at the goats. We'd seen a few up on the sides of the combe on our outward trip to Wells but there was nowhere to park, so on our return I parked up at the bottom and we walked up half a mile of so (much to the daughter's disgust).



And there they were...



Thes wild goats were introduced to help manage the vegetation.



This billy goat looked like the boss.



On the way back down to the car I spotted this cave. I used to do a lot of caving on the Mendips when I was younger, fitter and a bit slimmer.



I tried to get the daughter to go down with me but she just flat out refused. I think this was one activity too many for her... Roblox was calling.



So no caving that day... another memory put to bed.



But guess what... as a kind of nice finish to the day, the sister was on telly in the evening!

----------


## armstrong

> I tried to get the daughter to go down with me but she just flat ou refused. I think this was one activity too many for her... Roblox was calling.


New Pet SIM X update just released on Roblox. I'd be raging.

----------


## Edmond

> New Pet SIM X update just released on Roblox.


*turns on the iPad*

----------


## katie23

Hot Fuzz the movie! In which scene was that building included? Anyone know?

I still remember a scene, the one with the old man who had a horde of guns and a sea mine. "A hedge is a hedge... Blah 3x...what's he moaning about?"  :Smile:  

I didn't understand the old man either, but I  understood Simon Pegg's RP accent.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Hot Fuzz the movie! In which scene was that building included? Anyone know?


The pub crawl scene?

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Everywhere in Wells just smells of history.


Nah that's old people and piss.

They went elsewhere to film a pub interior :Smile: 





> Much of Hot Fuzz was filmed in Wells in 2006, with The Crown an integral part of the story and featuring in many of the background shots – we are The Crown at Sandford!   The interior of The Crown was, in fact, The Royal Standard of England, England’s oldest freehouse, in Forty Green, Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire.

----------


## Joe 90

> I'm determined to make myself a set back


Be cheaper to buy them here, you could get a full set for a fiver in a charity shop.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> That bell on the wall is for the swans to ring for food... but I don't think the current inhabitants had been trained.
> 
> 
> 
> It looked a bit high for the swans to reach, to be honest.


There should be some string on there for them to shake...

Bell-ringing swans at The Bishop'''s Palace call for food - BBC News

----------


## katie23

@dill - is this the one? The Crown pub scene in Hot Fuzz?

----------


## Reg Dingle

Looks an interesting place that Wells.




> Vicars’ Hall & gateway
> The Vicar’s Hall was one of the first buildings to be constructed in the close in 1348. This communal area was built above an arched pedestrian entry gate to the street.
> 
> This originally had a storeroom, kitchen and a bakehouse inside and this is where the Vicars would eat on a daily basis together. 
> 
> Although you cannot see all the rooms from outside on the close, inside there is the Chequer room, the Muniment, and The Treasury. 
> 
> Apparently, one of the vicars was called The Receiver who would collect rents due from tenants around the city and also other payments due to the Vicars. This was kept in a large chest.




That  'Receiver' would have had more bellends than weekends (and Mendy's Bangkok passport official) bent over that chest :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> is this the one? The Crown pub scene in Hot Fuzz?


Ahhh, I was thinking of the wrong movie. Was it the prequel/sequel/next movie :Smile: -  The World's End- that had the pub crawl in it?

----------


## Mendip

I was chatting to this weird local guy who said he watched Simon Peg riding a horse down Wells High Street. I guess that must be a scene in the film. I'll check if it's on Netflix.

----------


## DrWilly

> I tried to get the daughter to go down with me but she just flat out refused. I think this was one activity too many for her... Roblox was calling.


Smart enough not to go caving without a light or equipment?

Didn't you learn a lesson from the Thai soccer team? Looks like your daughter did.





> After dropping the car at my sister's we walked into Wells.





What a fabulous day out. Wells is now on my list of places to visit. thanks for posting!

----------


## Mendip

^ I like to live a bit dangerously and besides, there's a torch on my phone!

Edit: By the way, one of the cave rescue divers in Thailand was from Bristol. The Mendips is famous for caving, as are many other limestone areas... Yorkshire and South Wales.

Edit again: It is a lovely, relaxed historical place. I would recommend a visit in the summer to get the best out of it. Next time I may stay the night in the Swan Hotel so I can get stuck into some cider. Hal visited earlier in the year and seemed to enjoy it as well.

----------


## DrWilly

> ^ I like to live a bit dangerously and besides, there's a torch on my phone!


I learned the hard way one time in a run down castle in Eastern Europe when my youngest ran ahead of me before I could turn turn the phone on in time and fell 6 feet down a vertical shaft onto a ledge. The shaft then dropped another 12 feet or so. 

Fortunately, he was not hurt badly and I learned a good lesson. 








One that the missus will not let me forget.

----------


## DrWilly

> ^ I like to live a bit dangerously and besides, there's a torch on my phone!
> 
> Edit: By the way, one of the cave rescue divers in Thailand was from Bristol. The Mendips is famous for caving, as are many other limestone areas... Yorkshire and South Wales.



In my second year of a geology degree we had a field trip to Buchan, Victoria which is famous for the Buchan caves. We had to spend a few days walking the hills and farms in order to create a geological map of the area. I recall our lecturers told us that there were plenty of caves on the land around and feel free to explore any we found. I guess H&S was different back then. Though discovering an unmapped cave and exploring was fairly exciting stuff.

----------


## DrWilly

> Next time I may stay the night in the Swan Hotel so I can get stuck into some cider.


Enjoy that thought when you get to the travel lodge sans internet.

----------


## hallelujah

> Enjoy that thought when you get to the travel lodge sans internet.


I'm loving this thread even more than I thought I would do.

All these great shots of the green and pleasant land, pies and pics of beer gardens (and Dil with his peanut butter perversions) has got me thinking it's time to take the TEFL World Tour back home next year!  :Smile: 

Keep em coming, Mendip. We'll almost be gutted when you fly back!

----------


## MarilynMonroe

Wells is gorgeous, with so much history. Wells Cathedral is stunning! I love the old architecture.  Lovely pics and stories. 
Just tuning in, after being away for a few weeks.  Enjoy the rest of your trip!

The Billy Goat, reminds me of the children's fairytale, 'The Three Billy Goat's Gruff'.  :Wink:

----------


## Topper

> 'The Three Billy Goat's Gruff'.


Which goat would you remind us of?

----------


## MarilynMonroe

> Which goat would you remind us of?


Haha, probably neither as they are all boys. If I had to choose I'd be the great big billy goat as he charged the troll to get to the other side.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Haha, probably neither as they are all boys. If I had to choose I'd be the great big billy goat as he charged the troll to get to the other side.


 :smiley laughing: 

Plenty experience of trolls on here.

----------


## Looper

Arise Sir Mendip, Knight of the grand order of the TOTY

Top photos. My great uncle lived in Bath and I have vague memories of visiting the Roman bath-houses as a nipper.

If ever there were a statue in need of being torn down by an angry baying mob and being righteously deposited in the  closest Roman moat it is that artless, grotesque, incongruous appendage.


 They look big enough to be flying the coup and finding a moat of their own. That's millennial cygnets for you.

----------


## malmomike77

> They look big enough to be flying the coup and finding a moat of their own. That's millennial cygnets for you.


they haven't got their flight feathers yet loops  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

We're off to London tomorrow which is just as well as I over-reminisced yesterday and need to get away for a bit to rejoin 2022. I thought I'd just get up to date before leaving for the Big Smoke as I'll be a bit busy this week.

When I was 11 we moved from one end of the village to the other. We did this during the school summer holidays, which for me were between finishing primary school and starting at the comprehensive a few miles away, so it was a big summer holiday. Coincidentally, the daughter is in the exact same position in her life right now... she's 11 and if we lived in the village she would be off to the comp in September. What better time than to show her my childhood stomping ground I left at her age.

Yesterday we walked around to the other end of the village. This was my neighbourhood.



I spent most of my childhood playing in the fields out the back of our house with a few mates from the street. The farmer must have been very patient with us. I still well remember picking hazelnuts from this gateway. The gate has doubtless been changed in the past 45 years and the style is new, but that was still a hazel tree all these years later.



That gateway and style cross a small stream where most of my outdoor time was spent. This was probably the first time I've seen that stream since 1978, 44 years ago.



It's nice to see that lone tree in the field of sweetcorn is still there. I remember climbing that tree nearly 50 years ago and even then it seemed ancient. In my day this field was always pasture and at the end of every summer we'd build dens out of the hay bales and have wars between different gangs. The farmer didn't seem to mind so long as we didn't break up any bales. Just past the corner of the field to the right of the tree is a small apple orchard and I remember going apple scrumping some mornings before school.



The reason we all spent so much time in the stream was to catch loggerheads. Well, we called them loggerheads but the correct name is bullheads... I don't know whether loggerhead is a Somerset term or whether we kids just made it up. The tactic was to put a small bucket in front of the fish and then touch it's tail making it swim straight in. They'd all be transferred to a big bucket during the day and then put back in the stream when we finished. I had no bucket but when I saw this patch of open water I just had to give it a try. A skilled loggerhead catcher could do it freehand.



The first thing to do is find a likely looking rock to turn over.



You have to turn it slowly from the downstream side so as not to disturb the visibility.



And then concentrate like fuk.



Once the prey is spotted, slowly move your hands either side...



... and wriggle your fingers underneath into the stream bed and slowly lift...



And voila... after 45 years I still had it!!!



My first loggerhead in nearly 45 years!



I must admit I couldn't keep the smile off my face. The memories came flooding back.



The daughter wasn't nearly as impressed as I expected and didn't want to give it a try. Kids these days are hopeless.

And just to show it wasn't a fluke... a POV capture, or at least I think that's what it's called. I could have done with a GoPro helmet for full effect as I needed both hands during the crucial moments. This loggerhead had pretty good camouflage but was no match for my near half century old skills.



My second loggerhead in nearly 45 years! I wish I'd had a mother-bucket cos I reckon I could have filled it in a few hours.



These are caddis fly larvae on the underside of the overturned rock. If you leave them long enough they'll start to crawl around.



They make a protective shell out of the sediment on the stream bed and must secrete some kind of cement to bond it with... maybe calcium carbonate? They form a large part of the loggerheads' diet and also for the trout in Blagdon Lake, and many flies are tied to represent caddis fly larvae. I think the stream must be pretty healthy to support this apparently thriving population of bullheads and caddis flies. I was fearing the worst and half expected it to be dead and silted up. We also used to also catch a lot of eels, lampreys and even a few small trout many years ago, although eels have all but disappeared from most of the waterways in the West Country. They are in real trouble.



The daughter had had enough, so we walked back through the cowpod field, but not before I took a small rock from the stream for my collection.



And back past the farm. I used to go kart down that hill, although it looked a lot steeper 40 odd years ago.



And back past the house I grew up in for the first 11 years of my life. It's bigger now, looking like a couple of extensions had been added. We were pretty cramped back in 1978 with my sisters sharing a room. I was now having memory recall overload!



Heading back towards the village we passed this clump of bushes (to the right of the daughter) where we used to hide and shoot cars with our peashooters. A good shot on the side of car with a rock-hard dried pea makes a hell of a bang and many cars did emergency stops as they had no idea what had happened.



Here's a likely looking target coming down the hill. In the Autumn we also used to chew up blackberries and fire out the slush through a peashooter. When it splatters on a car windscreen it looks just like a bird shit which all go purple during the blackberry season.



Back past the primary school...



We used to like walking home along this wall, admirably demonstrated by my daughter although back in the day it would always lead to detention. I have no idea why the headmaster objected to us doing it.



But of course there was one last stop on the way back to complete some unfinished business.



This was a nice pint.



But this Inch's is absolutely fantastic and is my new favourite cider. It's sharp and tangy and I have no idea how I've not come across it before. It's served in a great glass as well.



After a swift couple of pints it was time to head on back. A lovely summer's evening.



As luck would have it, my mother and daughter had an activity in the kitchen planned... to make tiffin together.



Thus freeing me up for a rare chance to relax and reminisce about all my reminiscing that day...



Ain't it just amazing how emotive smells are and how a smell from your childhood can bring the memories flooding back. It would be great if you could bottle up a smell to use at will. I'll be taking my new rock back to Korat with me although I'm sure the fresh stream smell will soon fade in the heat of Isaan. And get your head around this... I could have stood on that same small rock 45 years ago while catching loggerheads in that stream as a kid. The stories that rock could tell. It really makes me think.

The smell of stream... the memories it brings back. I've been sniffing that rock all day.

It must be the second best smell in the world.

----------


## DrWilly

> I've been sniffing that rock all day.



Just when I was about to green you for a good post you go and post weird shite like this. 

You and Dill need a room.

----------


## Joe 90

Loggerheads!

We used to do the same thing back in the day, spent many a day catching them.
Never new what they were called till now.

Btw, you should have pinched that glass in the pub! :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> A good shot on the side of car with a rock-hard dried pea makes a hell of a bang and many cars did emergency stops as they had no idea what had happened.


All good fun!

Did you ever do the upside down cowpat on the lighted newspaper knock and run trick?

----------


## bsnub

Excellent stuff Mendy. We used to do something similar with tadpoles and crawdads, catch them in a bucket and then let them all go at the end.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Nice update Mendy, never saw a loggerhead before but brought back memories of netting sticklebacks and racing ice lolly sticks down the stream





> Just when I was about to green you for a good post you go and post weird shite like this.
> 
> You and Dill need a room



It did go a bit weird towards the end, although...







> my new favourite cider


he'd probably  had 5 inches inside him :Smile:

----------


## reinvented

looks like fun, no idea what the logger head is
some sort of Gudgeon?

----------


## Mendip

It's the bullhead, or miller's thumb.

----------


## malmomike77

^ its an apex predator, its a British catfish, lurks in wait with that big mouth ready to pounce.

----------


## DrWilly

What is tiffin?

----------


## Mendip

> What is tiffin?


Chocolate Tiffin - Cakes Traybakes  Biscuits

It's a kind of chocolate topping with biscuit base kind of thing. Nice... if there's still some left when I get back on Thursday I'll take a pic.

We've just checked into our Travelodge in Vauxhall and I hate to admit it but Reg Dingle was on to something. It's a trainspotter's paradise.

----------


## Topper

I do believe smell is the best memory trigger there is, Mendip.




> What is tiffin?


I'm guessing a mush of sprouts and green peas....   :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> I do believe smell is the best memory trigger there is


*sniffs*


Thought I forgot to put on me pants.

----------


## OhOh

> The smell of stream... the memories it brings back


Idyllic childhood memories, if our parents ever knew what we got up to.

Here is a picture of the road bridge, on the right, taken from the old toll bridge:


The toll bridge, which the photographer is standing on, we used to go spin fishing from at high tide, swim from at high tide and walk under, at low tide.

The bridge on the right is the road bridge. Where the older kids would climb up to the arch top and jump from, into the river at high tide. Exciting, but when the tide was out dangerous. 

One kid found out at low tide and ran home with blood pouring out of his wounds.

A view of the toll bridge, from the road bridge, looking up river to the north:


Up river was "scrumping" territory and gravel pits to swim in. Again with lots of muddy pits to swim in.

Funny enough, we could never pursued the girls to accompany us. Not that we knew what to do with them, then.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> We've just checked into our Travelodge in Vauxhall and I hate to admit it but Reg Dingle was on to something. It's a trainspotter's paradise.


Did you get the window open? Is it musty in there? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ No, the window doesn't open which is probably good for the soundproofing.

To be honest the trains go past so often you hardly notice them after a while.

----------


## Reg Dingle

How is it a trainspotters paradise if you can't see any trains? Or can you tell by their sound?

Any pics of the view? :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

Places you'd never stay in London, number one erm Vauzhall

----------


## Loy Toy

> Places you'd never stay in London, number one erm Vauzhall


If Slough isn't the worst place to stay in Blighty it must be a close second.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ in the right room you'd get a good view of Delboy and Rodney's old flat from where he is

In fact he could have rented the place out, complete with blow up doll, for a song :Smile: 

Del Boy's Peckham council flat for rent for just PS18 per night | Daily Mail Online

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ The window doesn't open but it's still see through.

The trains on the closest line to us actually block out the light and the passengers can look down at us lying on the bed watching our phones... there is no remote for the telly. 

I must admit I never knew Vauxhall Station was so busy and has so many platforms, it's been very interesting. And it's a great location. Today we walked to Big Ben and tomorrow we'll walk to Trafalgar Square and Buckingham Palace!

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: 

Lubly jubly

Dont forget Peckham market for some bargains!

----------


## Bonecollector

Tiffin is also an old word which I think originated during the colonial days of India, it meant a small meal or snack. 'Tiffin and tea on the terrace Albert?', something like that.

----------


## Bogon

Whilst in London, get some decent pie and mash in your belly.

My favourate dinner in the whole wide world.

It's a London thing, but double pie/double mash/liquor and a splash of vinegar cannot be beat.

----------


## aging one

As a Yank this would be a tiffin to me. Keeps the Indian desk jockeys happy and full. A huge and interesting industry.

----------


## katie23

> Tiffin is also an old word which I think originated during the colonial days of India, it meant a small meal or snack. 'Tiffin and tea on the terrace Albert?', something like that.


Yeah, this is what I know of the tiffin. I know it as the rounded metal lunch containers of Indian/ South Asian people. In India, they have "tiffin walas or dabbawalas" who go around selling lunches to office workers.




@mendy - enjoy London. Hope your stay at Travel lodge is ok, despite the lack of WiFi.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> It's a London thing, but double pie/double mash/liquor and a splash of vinegar cannot be beat.


  a side order of jellied eels for the experience as well!

----------


## aging one

> In India, they have "tiffin walas or dabbawalas" who go around selling lunches to office workers.


Don't they deliver what the wife has packed for hubby from home? Trains before the bikes as well.

----------


## Edmond

> Don't they deliver what the wife has packed for hubby from home? Trains before the bikes as well.

----------


## cyrille

> Yeah, this is what I know of the tiffin. I know it as the rounded metal lunch containers of Indian/ South Asian people.


Yeah, I've never heard of this chocolate  UK  version either.  However Google confirms it's a thing.

----------


## Reg Dingle



----------


## malmomike77

> Tiffin is also an old word which I think originated during the colonial days of India, it meant a small meal or snack.


Not quite in Carry on up the Kyber

----------


## Mendip

> @mendy - enjoy London. Hope your stay at Travel lodge is ok, despite the lack of WiFi.


I feel that I should put this myth to bed Katie, although there are plenty of other posts I need to reply to as well. The Travelodge does have Wifi but you have to pay. I went for the £9 for 72 hours for two devices option which thankfully will cover this trip and ain't too bad. 

We have a busy day ahead of us today and I'm meeting up with a couple of mates in the afternoon, but I'm pretty knackered after my first night in the hotel. 

This Travelodge was a good deal and a great location and all that, but I'm starting to regret it. The trains seem to start early in London and the 'double' bed is only about 3 foot wide as well. The daughter's had a great sleep of course.

----------


## DrWilly

> I went for the £9 for 72 hours for two devices option which thankfully will cover this trip and ain't too bad.



That's about 3 1/2 pier entries! or 2 icecreams! 


Just visit a Starbucks and get their free wifi!

----------


## Joe 90

Pate fois groi Dill :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

^^ It was exactly two ice creams on Westminster Bridge yestetday and one didn't even have a flake. The robbing b@stards. And £6 for two small bottles of water!

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ How much was the black cab you said you were gonna treat the daughter to? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

About £12 from Paddington to Vauxhall train station. Not bad once you're used to Norwegian taxi prices. We took another today... haven't risked the tube trains yet.

----------


## DrWilly

Grab/Uber will be half that…

----------


## armstrong

> Grab/Uber will be half that…


I know you're going to claim I'm stalking you but just stop making shit up. There's no way an Uber is going to be £6 in London.

----------


## Joe 90

> I know you're going to claim I'm stalking you but just stop making shit up. There's no way an Uber is going to be £6 in London.


When in central London the best way to explore is on foot.

Maybe grab a black cab for the experience and a red doubledecker bus.

But Uber... :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I know you're going to claim I'm stalking you but just stop making shit up. There's no way an Uber is going to be £6 in London


Its 8.10 for an Uber via a search on Google, probably in some Albanians stinking 20 year old Vauxhall Corsa.

You wouldn't put it past Mendy to go back that way now though :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> haven't risked the tube trains yet.


Why an earth not? outside rushn hour they are an excellent way to get around, stops at all the main attractions, easy to navigate and not expensive.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> easy to navigate


I think that's the bit he's struggling with.
Me too tbh. Think I'll just get a cab

----------


## malmomike77

^ Strange that, it was originally designed to be child proof. Perhaps he could get Mini to take him around.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ How do I get from Marylebone to Chelsea? :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

> About £12 from Paddington to Vauxhall train station.





> Grab/Uber will be half that…





> I know you're going to claim I'm stalking you but just stop making shit up. There's no way an Uber is going to be £6 in London.


He’s fucking extraordinary, isn’t he.

Sometimes it seems like a household pet’s take on things.

And it can actually be quite engaging on that level, I must admit.

----------


## malmomike77

> ^ How do I get from Marylebone to Chelsea?


stamford? is fulham

----------


## Reg Dingle

> stamford? is fulham


...SW10

----------


## cyrille

Oh, that’ll be £2.99 on bingle.

----------


## malmomike77

^^did you spend a lot on taxis when you were being taken for a ride in Laaandaan  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

From what I see it's get the tube from Marylebone to Paddington then get another tube to Earls Court then a friggin 11 minute walk. :Smile: 
Surely a taxi is a better option?

----------


## malmomike77

no walk to edgeware rd, tube to fulham broadway anf 2 minute walk

----------


## Reg Dingle

Why doesn't Google maps say that?

----------


## malmomike77

no idea.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Probably because there's a longer wait for that tube and it'll get there a little later

----------


## malmomike77

The real question is has Mendip given up finding somewhere to eat or has he got mini to deliveroo to their short time lodgings

----------


## cyrille

Peas On Wheels?

----------


## hallelujah

> Surely a taxi is a better option?


What kind of lunatic takes a taxi in London? Tube all the way....unless you're Mr Motivator:

----------


## malmomike77

Dill wants door to door, the tube you always have a walk but usually no more that an easy 5+ minute stroll.

----------


## Joe 90

There's a reasonable Wetherspoons on the right going to Downing street from Trafalgar Square.

Mini can pull faces at the Royal Household Cavalry guards further down as well.
Cheap trip out.

----------


## Reg Dingle

It's not just that Mike. It's the kind of people,  Hal for example :Smile:  that you have to brush past and watch eyeing up your trouble and bucket of water :Smile: 
I'd much rather the 'alwite twinkle' proper jellied eel scoffin Cockanese black cab experience even if it is a cock an hen or two

----------


## malmomike77

gawd bless you guvna

----------


## Bonecollector

> ...SW10


Are we talking about the Bridge? It's SW6.

----------


## Joe 90

It's all well an Good till the wanker hits you up for a monkey fare going via old Kent Road and Margate.

Wheres Mendy anyhow?

Missing in action meeting up with his mates in the West end for a few :Smile: 

I heard from Hal that Soho is a web!

Once you go in you can't get out  :smiley laughing:

----------


## hallelujah

> It's not just that Mike. It's the kind of people,  Hal for example that you have to brush past and watch eyeing up your trouble and bucket of water
> I'd much rather the 'alwite twinkle' proper jellied eel scoffin Cockanese black cab experience even if it is a cock an hen or two


Cor blimey, guv! Dil's only gone all cockney on us, the fackin cant! He's got a right norf n sarf on him!



I bet these two don't have an air fryer and a pink unicorn bike though.

----------


## hallelujah

> It's all well an Good till the wanker hits you up for a monkey fare going via old Kent Road and Margate.
> 
> Wheres Mendy anyhow?
> 
> Missing in action meeting up with his mates in the West end for a few
> 
> I heard from Hal that Soho is a web!
> 
> Once you go in you can't get out


I've had many a memorable night in the after hours shebeens of Soho; crack pipes and brass on the table next to me, tenner for a blow job in the bogs and an extra fiver for a toot on the pipe. 

Who needs Pattaya?  Put a big jumper on and turn the heating up and you could be anywhere.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Wheres Mendy anyhow?


I didn't wanna mention it... but there were some terrible reviews about paying 8 pounds a night for   wifi  and it '"bouncing off those fukkin trains" :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^^ I need a night out with Hal :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> Dil's only gone all cockney on us

----------


## Joe 90

> ^^ I need a night out with Hal


Just don't fall for that " is that your sky diver" on the carsie floor trick :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

More like it'll be a scene out of Taken, Hal and Dill waking up on a boat to somewhere with Albanians chattering in the background.

----------


## hallelujah

> 


"Kingston, in Richmond upon Thames."  :smiley laughing: 

Funnily enough, I've had a night out in Kingston with a mate from down there. I got told off for swearing.  :Nono:

----------


## hallelujah

> More like it'll be a scene out of Taken, Hal and Dill waking up on a boat to somewhere with Albanians chattering in the background.


As long as dil isn't fucking piloting it.

----------


## DrWilly

> I know you're going to claim I'm stalking you but just stop making shit up. There's no way an Uber is going to be £6 in London.





> Hes fucking extraordinary, isnt he.
> 
> Sometimes it seems like a household pets take on things.
> 
> And it can actually be quite engaging on that level, I must admit.



Good lord gents, someone has already asked you dont stalk or quibble on this thread. But you just cannot help yourself. Even after Dilly point out that a simple google search shows you its 8.10 in Uber.

or is 8.10 not exactly half of 12 and therefore invalidates my comment???





> Its 8.10 for an Uber via a search on Google, probably in some Albanians stinking 20 year old Vauxhall Corsa.
> 
> You wouldn't put it past Mendy to go back that way now though






> I know you're going to claim I'm stalking you but.


because you do, you inbred, retarded TEFLr.


*And thats it, I wont argue with you two dimwits on this thread anymore.

----------


## Joe 90

> More like it'll be a scene out of Taken, Hal and Dill waking up on a boat to somewhere with Albanians chattering in the background.


Fvcking hell!

Can you imagine the auction scene???

 :smiley laughing:

----------


## malmomike77

^ yes unfortunately  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Well, I'm all Londoned out... 2 days of city life and public transport has done me in.

I'll update when I get back to my laptop, but in the meantime a pic of the view from the hotel hopefully, from my phone.

----------


## hallelujah

> Well, I'm all Londoned out... 2 days of city life and public transport has done me in.
> 
> I'll update when I get back to my laptop, but in the meantime a pic of the view from the hotel hopefully, from my phone.


"Inches" away from the track. You see what I did there? Eh? Eh? Eh?  :Smile: 

Has the conductor on the 8.17 from Basingstoke started letting on to you yet?

----------


## malmomike77

^^ I thinks its god to see how the other half live, Then you appreciate don't have to.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Wonder how many passengers saw your 3 inches and  bottles of cider :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I had six bottles to start with but I didn't want to make the Norferners jealous.

----------


## Reg Dingle

What did you make with the pita bread? Scotch egg kebabs? :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> 2 days of city life


whetting mini's appetite to see the other 99.96547864% when she's older

----------


## Mendip

^^ Still untouched... it was for emergencies. Tonight will be pita bread with houmus dip. I like to spoil the daughter.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Covered pretty much everything over 2 days... maybe around 4% not seen as a rough estimate.

----------


## Mendip

For example...

----------


## malmomike77

you took mini up and down the same hill six times over four days but only gave her two days in london  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> you took mini up and down the same hill six times over four days but only gave her two days in london


Mendys a country gent as opposed to a City rat.

Dem der City folk are a different breed :Smile: 

Did you get your Layer Cake big breakfast yet?

----------


## Mendip

Here's a taster until I can get these photos sorted out... (thanks for the tip, Bonecollector...)

----------


## Loy Toy

Did you take the daughter to Abbey Road to walk across the zebra crossing?

----------


## Joe 90

> Here's a taster until I can get these photos sorted out... (thanks for the tip, Bonecollector...)


Nice one!

I hope you didn't  tap Monty up for the full Monty and a few nifties.

----------


## Mendip

> Did you take the daughter to Abbey Road to walk across the zebra crossing?


No, but we must have walked across 100 other zebra crossings. They all look the same to be honest and the daughter's happy.

----------


## OhOh

> Here's a taster until


Awaiting the interior, meal and waitress photos. How did your daughter take to the morning fry-ups?

----------


## OhOh

> as opposed to a City rat


Except during his Bangkok "Visa visits".

----------


## Bogon

You should have known it was bad when they said your room was on Platform 3.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> You should have known it was bad when they said your room was on Platform 3.


That reminds me.
If mini likes Harry Potter , go to Kings X platform 9 3/4 for a selfie.

----------


## malmomike77

he's not in Laaandaaan now.

----------


## Neverna

> That reminds me.
> If mini likes Harry Potter , go to Kings X platform 9 3/4 for a selfie.


I think they can do that in Terminal 21 in Korat.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> You should have known it was bad when they said your room was on Platform 3


 :smiley laughing:  funny

----------


## Bonecollector

> Here's a taster until I can get these photos sorted out... (thanks for the tip, Bonecollector...)
> 
> Attachment 91079


Awesome Mendy, I am so glad you guys went and I hope your daughter really enjoyed the atmosphere and food. I was actually just in there on Monday for a bacon/ black pudding butty and a builders!

----------


## PAG



----------


## Mendip

^ I wish you'd posted that earlier PAG. I love a bit of beach rugby but no way we'll get tickets at such short notice!

----------


## malmomike77

You'd not be admitted with out your budgie smugglers

----------


## PAG

> ^ I wish you'd posted that earlier PAG. I love a bit of beach rugby but no way we'll get tickets at such short notice!


Only just came up on my FB feed, probably because this year's chosen charity recipient is 'The Royal Marines Charity'.   Try here for tickets:

Buy tickets – Weston Beach Rugby Fest 2022 – Weston-s-Mare Beach, Fri 5 Aug 2022 12:00 PM - Sun 7 Aug 2022 6:00 PM

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks PAG, much appreciated.

It's a real shame I've got a bad leg at the moment.

----------


## Mendip

I see a lot of 'discussion' that I missed while being so busy pilgrimaging across London the last few days. Three days in London was great but also more than enough for me. 




> whetting mini's appetite to see the other 99.96547864% when she's older


Exactly that Mike. We had two whole days which was enough to see a lot of stuff but not really visit many places. I wanted to give the littl'un a taste of London and some memories, but all said and done we were both all done in by day 3 and glad to get back to some normality.




> Mendys a country gent as opposed to a City rat.


Why, thank you Joe.





> How did your daughter take to the morning fry-ups?


We only had two fry-ups in all the time we spent in London, what with me watching my diet and all that. The daughter is well used to fry-ups and took it all in her stride.





> You should have known it was bad when they said your room was on Platform 3.


Platform 10 actually, but point taken.


The day before we left for London we had another of these best ice creams in the world from Cheddar and I'm starting to think that my mum's friend may be correct. I had a scoop of 'funky banana' underneath 'rhubarb and custard' and the daughter took a wiser a choice of 'cookies and cream' underlying a scoop of 'caramel fudge in clotted cream'. The rhubarb and custard was a bit of a let down, tbh.




Our London trip started with a bit of a disaster. We arrived at Yatton train station at 10:15am for our 11am train to Bristol Temple Meads. This was a bit early but as my mum was driving us over I allowed a lot of contingency time for accidents and unexplained stops at random shops. As we stood on the platform we watched the 10:23 to Severn Beach stop, passengers alight, and leave again and continued to wait. There it is, off on it's way.



I decided to check how long a connection we had at Temple Meads for our Paddington train and discovered to my horror that the train we had watched come and go was ours. I went into the ticket office and the lady told me that the '11am' was for our Temple Meads train to Paddington... and also told me that people are always making this mistake.



FFS... so I had to fork out £63.20 for two replacement tickets to Paddington... after all my careful pre-booking as well. And we hadn't even left the station.

Anyway, the rest of the train journey went without incident.



That was our train from Bristol Temple Meads to Paddington.



I was just mentioning to the daughter that no-one had even checked our new train tickets and I wished that I hadn't bothered when we discovered that you need the tickets to leave the station. With hindsight I reckon I could have used our first tickets and just said we'd hung about on the platform for an our after arriving before going through the barrier.



And straight to the taxi rank for the daughter's first time in a famous London black cab and besides, I'd had enough of trains for the day and no way were we heading to the tube station.



This cost (I think) just under 12 quid for a trip to Vauxhall, and worth every penny. Two Travelcards for a day on the tubes and buses cost around 14 quid so a taxi is OK if you're only doing one trip, and if you hate public transport and don't know what you're doing.

Luvly jubbly.



And there's our hotel. Not the most salubrious of exteriors... and the interior was no different if truth be told.



When we entered our room the curtains were closed and it didn't look to bad. Very small but OK. I discovered why the curtains were closed... to give guests at least 20 seconds or so of a reasonable first impression, cos when you open the curtains...



And that was a very rare photo with no trains. Vauxhall Station must be one of the busiest train stations in the western hemisphere.

This was the usual view...



Until a train stopped at Platform 10 when all the other platforms were blocked out.



The room noticeably darkened when trains stopped at Platform 10 and they didn't so much make a noise as made vibrations. The whole room vibrated when a train rumbled through and I could see why the windows didn't open (which is usually a red line for me when booking hotels... I get a bit claustrophobic and need opening windows).

But despite some faults, the hotel was a great location! And it was cheap.



After walking out of the hotel that first afternoon we walked along The Embankment (which was maybe 5 minutes away) and immediately saw this view. Fantastic!

That's The Houses of Parliament and Big Ben past Lambeth Bridge. You can see Westminster Bridge beneath one of Lambeth Bridge's arches.



We walked along The Embankment past this memorial wall for Covid victims. It's supposed to be one heart per fatality but it seemed that someone had vastly overestimated the mortality rate and painted way too many hearts.





And Westminster Bridge with Big Ben on the north bank of The Thames, only a 30 minute walk from the hotel! In fact only the clock is called Big Ben, the tower in which the clock sits is called Queen Elizabeth Tower (I later learnt).



That's The Marriott Hotel on the far side of Westminster Bridge, by the London Eye... and a 'Toots' Bus, would ya believe! 

And a brace of b@stard cyclists. There are cycle lanes everywhere in London and these wankers zip about at break neck speed ringing their stupid bells and shouting at anyone with the audacity to attempt to cross over a road or cycle lane. I don't see why we can't stay with the traditional roads for cars and pavements for pedestrians. These cyclists go on the pavements or roads when it suits them, don't abide by red lights and just seem to do whatever they want. We even had one shout at us by Buckingham Palace for crossing the road outside of the 'designated place', the tosser. I hate them.



Despite the b@stard cyclists we decided to cross the road and walk across Westminster Bridge, just for the fun. We both looked up enviously at The Marriott's opening windows and absence of train traffic, but one night in The Marriott would have set me back 600 quid and we had three nights in the Travelodge for £343, plus 9 quid for internet. You can't argue with that. 

And no we didn't... the daughter flat out refused to go on the London Eye... and anyway, been there done that on Weston-Super-Mare sea front last week.



Would have been nice though.



From the apex of Westminster Bridge.



Big Ben.



And on the north bank... Boudicea I'm guessing.



Westminster Bridge is pretty much ruined by cyclists and these guys who constantly set up, blocking the pavement and hide a ball under three cups. I think it was a Wedgie Benn to guess which cup the ball was under... you lose the stake for an incorrect choice and a Bobby Moore if you win, I guess.

The daughter wanted a go and I said no problem if you use your own money. She soon changed her mind.



And if you think I'm exaggerating about the nuisance these b@stard cyclists make of themselves, you have to queue up for an ice cream the other side of the cycle lane or else risk getting run down by the fukkers. The bloody tourist kept on pushing in through the gap made by the cycle lane, making a mockery of queuing, and when you eventually made it to the ice cream van counter, one accidental step back would be answered by a volley of silly bicycle bell ringing and some twat shouting in indignation. You can see this guy trying to hold hback is kids so they don't step into the cycle lane, while attempting to buy something. If ever I go back to Westminster Bridge I'm taking a pocketful of 2 inch nails which I'll liberally scatter around the place.



But we English are made of stern stuff and I won through in the end... but 9 quid for two whippy ice creams, one with a flake... ker ching, thank you very much. Ootai can probably write an equation to show us that without a flake cost £4 and a 99 with a flake cost £5 (a Skindiver). Sorry ootai  :Smile: 

These were the most expensive ice creams of the holiday to date (and therefore of my entire life). And two small bottles of cold water cost £6, the robbing bandits.



And that was pretty much it for our first day. We walked back along the road parallel to The Embankment until I spotted this boozer, cor blimey gov, just the job. Before this we'd discovered a small Tesco where I bought some normal priced water and quite a lot of cider, hence the daughter was struggling with the weight of the bag!  :Smile: 



And after a long day, a well deserved pint of Aspell cider, very nice. I spent a lot of time over this pic as Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament were visible over the top of my pint glass, but sadly they don't show in the photo.



And dinner... luvly jubbly!



I wasn't really looking forward to an evening in the hotel room but it was around 9pm by the time we decanted the Tesco haul onto the window sill and at least the aircon was pretty good.

This may seem excessive to some northerners or midlanders, but 6 inches is pretty modest from my part of the world!  :Smile: 



The entire room in all it's glory.



And after a couple of ciders I had soon shrunk to 4 inches! 



Once it was dark and you couldn't see the coating of grime on the window we really felt the closeness of the trains to our room. In fact they were so close I had to wait for an empty carriage to stop outside our window until I took a picture because with people sat so close looking in at us, it just felt a bit weird to look back at them and take photos.

I would definitely not choose a hotel room like this on a passport renewal trip, if you know what I mean.

----------


## malmomike77

> but all said and done we were both all done by day 3 and glad to get back to some normality.


i grew up there loved it, but that was over 40 years ago. i go back now and barley recognise parts i knew, i'm glad to leave after a day or two. Its been "gentrified" or turned into some third world slum, no manor atmosphere like there used to be.  that cafe you went to was common across London, and boozers - mostly gone.

----------


## malmomike77

> That was our train from Bristol Temple Meads to Paddington.


you forgot to mention its all electric now, no intercity 125 any more.

----------


## malmomike77

> In fact only the clock is called Big Ben, the tower in which the clock sits is called Queen Elizabeth Tower (I later learnt).


erm actually it the bell not the clock or tower mate  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

Many a year ago, if you had time post lunch you could pop to the Crown & Sceptre in Portland Place and its just around the corner from BBC Broadcasting House, pop in sit there and spot the celebs, more on Fri and Sat late PM.

----------


## malmomike77

> And dinner... luvly jubbly!


I'll chuck me last in, next time you go get yourself to Borough Market, its got a great range of world food stalls and failing that its home to one of the best Fish and Chippies in Laaandaan.

----------


## Mendip

> erm actually it the bell not the clock or tower mate


Would you Adam and Eve it!

----------


## malmomike77

^ I would. Next time you need a guide. Don't take  your car, you have to be a Laaandaaan driver there

----------


## DrWilly

We both looked up enviously at The Marriott's opening windows and absence of train traffic, but one night in The Marriott would have set me back 600 quid and we had three nights in the Travelodge for £343, plus 9 quid for internet. You can't argue with that.


suppose you cannot…

----------


## OhOh

> suppose you cannot…


In a few years, his daughter will take one look at the room and say, "I'm not staying here".

----------


## Shutree

> In fact only the clock is called Big Ben, the tower in which the clock sits is called Queen Elizabeth Tower (I later learnt).


Enjoying your travels. Just so you don't mislead your daughter, it is only the bell inside the tower that should be called Big Ben. However, the clock is so commonly called Big Ben that it has become commonly accepted.

The statue is Boudica _and_ her daughters. Or Boudicca. Or, if memory serves me correctly, the spelling on the statue was Boadicea, which was still the popular spelling when I was growing up because of some old poem I'd need to look up. Other spellings are available.

I knew this part of London quite well in my younger years.

Pedants corner is now closed.

Did you not stop at the London Aquarium in the old City Hall? Worth a visit next time you are there.

Have you found any rhubarb cider yet?

----------


## Shutree

I completely agree about cyclists, especially in London. Not only do they ignore the legal tradition of 'man before horse' they compound it by riding carelessly wherever they wish and then having the rudeness to shout abuse at people who are simply walking along. I don't believe that people are born to hate cyclists, I think they bring it upon themselves. 

When I got my first 'big' bicycle I was told that above a certain wheel size it couldn't be ridden legally on a pavement. Does that law still exist?

----------


## Mendip

^ I don't know about that law but I saw on the news today that Grant Schapps (otherwise a complete twat) is pushing for a new law to prosecute cyclists who cause death by dangerous riding. Currently the maximum sentence is 2 years. Personally I think they should throw away the key.

----------


## malmomike77

^ they should get the same as car drivers. Once i retire i'm getting a ratty run around, moody plates and i'm going to have run in the lanes

----------


## Mendip

We had the first morning in London to ourselves and hen were meeting up with friends in the afternoon. Due to being in such a marvelous location I decided to walk to Buckingham Palace.

But first a couple of 'two train' pictures to start the day. 





At the Travelodge, £9.95 gets you an unlimited fry-up and children eat for free. I guess if I was Chinese at an unlimited buffet I'd still be there eating but I was quite constrained.



Across the road from our hotel, on the south side of Vauxhall Bridge is 'Vauxhall Cross', the home of MI6 and SIS.



I've read a lot of Gerald Seymour novels and the stories often start with a couple of old spies having a chat while walking along the Embankment. It was nice to see where he'd been writing about. There was pretty tight security.





I've long been interested in cofferdams and looking back at Vauxhall Cross from the bridge it looked as though the building was being extended into The Thames. Or maybe it was just a jetty being built for the spies?



On the north bank of The Thames by the bridge there were a couple of mudlarkers. I'd love to have a go down there with my metal detector but am not sure if it's allowed to anyone or if you need a license of some sort. Maybe next time...

That wood could be the hundreds of years old footings for jetties.



Millbank along the north side of The Thames. The home of MI5 is somewhere along here. The entire road was lined by horse chestnut trees and we got a couple of conkers to try and grow in Korat.



Parliament Square... looking a bit parched.



This is Snubby's favourite part of London...

Because there are six burgers!  :Smile: 





Houses of Parliament...



... and Big Ben, although of course we couldn't see the bell which is in fact the 'Big Ben' part.  :Smile: 

Thinking about it, in all the time we were in London I didn't hear Big Ben chime once.



I think this was Westminster Palace or Cathedral along here... either way there was a big queue so we didn't go in. If I do have a criticism of London it's that none of the buildings were very well labelled, and to be honest, by this point I was pretty much saturated with all the history and historical buildings. There is just too much of it in London.



An interesting clock.



And a couple more pics of these 'Westminster' buildings.





And onward towards Buckingham Palace. The pelicans on the Serpentine in St Jame's Park.





Whitehall. Early on in the trip to try and keep the daughter interested I promised her £1 for every place name she could find that is on the Monopoly board, and I've just realised she claimed a pound for Whitehall when it should be Whitechapel Road, of course. The bugger.





And a war memorial at the entrance to Whitehall. A the time I thought his was The Cenotaph but later saw that elsewhere.



And The Mall... not the one in Korat but the long road to Buckingham Palace. This is where the funeral and wedding processions all take place and you can see the palace at the end.



There was no changing of the guard ceremony that day but this troop of horses passed us by on their way to Buckingham Palace, with a load of taxis and delivery vehicles stuck behind. These weren't the same cavalry that were outside Whitehall as every one of these troopers were women. Maybe it was some kind of female regiment?





And Buckingham Palace. A cyclist shouted at us around here because we had the audacity to cross the road away from a 'designated crossing point', the wanker. What was it to do with him?



And a nice shot of the palace behind that fine pair of legs. The Union Jack was flying which meant that the Queen was not at home. They fly the Royal Standard when she's back.



The famous balcony that knobby Prince Harry and his awful wife will probably never again stand on.



Back up The Mall and Prince Charles and Camilla's gaff... is it Clarence House?



The Queen Elizabeth (1900 - 2002) was in fact the Queen Mother. I never realised she was another Elizabeth.



Poor old King George VI could do with a head wash!  :Smile: 



And then the main event for me...



I have a real thing about Nelson and this was the best part of London for me. The daughter enjoyed it as well... another quid, ker ching! She'd taken me for £19 by the end of the trip.



Last year en-route to the Black Sea I took a selfie in front of the site of The Battle of Trafalgar, and now this. Next week we're off to Portsmouth to see the HMS Victory where more pics will be taken and I plan to arrange a montage of photos on the wall back home behind my 1.2 metre long model of the HMS Victory. Happy days.



Sadly Trafalgar Square was still fenced off following the previous day's victory celebrations for the women's footballers. A small price to pay I guess for bringing it home but it still bugged me a bit!



And that was our walk over... we then took another black cab back to the 'hotel'. Later that afternoon we met up with a couple of my work mates from the boats with one wife, and we decided to get one of those open topped double decker tourist buses around town. 

It wasn't a 'Toot' Bus! Is Malmo Mike keeping a secret?



While we waited for our bus the daughter braved the cyclists and bought an ice cream on her own...



... and we walked under The Eye. I felt a couple of drops of liquid under The Eye and at first thought it was probably bird shite as we had a cloudless day and there was no rain, but I think it may have been from the aircon in the gondolas.



We had a Big Bus tour, not a Toot Bus tour.



Much of the bus tour was the same as we'd seen during our walkabout in the morning but from higher up, with a few extra highlights...

All aboard! The daughter and I were sat on the back seat.



Marble Arch.



I think this was Oxford Street or Regent Street. Either way the daughter got another quid out of me.



The Cenotaph!



The Waldorf Hotel... birth place of the Waldorf Salad.






St Pauls.



And my personal favourite of the bus tour... Tower Bridge, or is it London Bridge? This bridge opens to let larger ships through, upstream.





And finally... The Tower of London. This is definitely one pace I want to go back and visit. We just didn't have time this trip.



And we finished up back at Westminster Bridge. I think the bus tour cost 30 quid for an adult and 20 quid for a child. Well worth it.

----------


## armstrong

> We both looked up enviously at The Marriott's opening windows and absence of train traffic, but one night in The Marriott would have set me back 600 quid and we had three nights in the Travelodge for £343, plus 9 quid for internet. You can't argue with that.
> 
> 
> suppose you cannot…


could you possibly try to learn how to quote old chap.

----------


## armstrong

Tower of London is well expensive. We just took pics outside...

----------


## malmomike77

> And we finished up back at Westminster Bridge. I think the bus tour cost 30 quid for an adult and 20 quid for a child. Well worth it.


you need to

----------


## malmomike77

> There was pretty tight security.


It is invite only, no non internal ID works no matter what you think you have. Its not very exciting inside mate so don't die wondering.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> The Tower of London. This is definitely one pace I want to go back and visit.


I went 3 times in the 70's once with school and twice showing family around. Apparently the real Crown Jewels have been moved out and they are facsimiles, although there is nothing official to say it. The tour is amazing in historic terms and the jewels were stunning. Course her Maj has a stack tucked away just in case Jason Statham gets any ideas :Smile:

----------


## Looper

> I think this was Westminster Palace or Cathedral along here... either way there was a big queue so we didn't go in


I hope these punters checked the price before joining the queue.

KGBGF went to Lahndahn tahn in 2015 and reported that entry to Westminster Cathedral was a pony. Fahkin nora guvnor, you could'a knocked me dahn wiv a fevver. Oi aint paying 25 knicker to look round no church oi says to her.

And neither was she, despite being a widowed zillionaire.

A shame as I would really like to pay respects at the resting places of Newton, Darwin, Dirac and the other great scientists.

----------


## Mendip

^ Look after yer pennies and the pounds look after themselves!

I guess that's how KGBGF can afford to drive that BMW around... or am I getting mixed up with someone else?

It gets very confusing.

----------


## DrWilly

> Oi aint paying 25 knicker to look round no church oi says to her.
> 
> And neither was she, despite being a widowed zillionaire.


Or you could go during mass and join for free

----------


## Joe 90

> Or you could go during mass and join for free


Just wait till the begging bowl does the rounds,  those Christian's are Eagle eyed to the tight arse chucking shrapnel in the bowl.
They prefer the crisp sound of notes ,standing orders or naming in thy will.
Fvcking religious charlatans.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - still enjoying the pics & stories. Thnx for the thread.

The Tower of London is where they kept the famous prisoners in olden (medieval) days, right? I remember there was one deposed king (forgot the name). They kept him there & starved him to death.

@malmomike - I only learned recently (2 years ago?) that Jason Statham was an Olympic diver before he became a movie star. I just knew him as an actor (The Machinist and the ones with Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables).

----------


## DrWilly

Don’t forget the Fast and Furious franchise and I think he might have been in Trainspotting too

----------


## Happy As Larry

> And finally... The Tower of London. This is definitely one pace I want to go back and visit. We just didn't have time this trip.


When I worked for a time in London in the 80s my office was about 10 minutes from the Tower.
I often used to walk down there, buy a tea from one of the vendors and sit down and gaze at the Tower and give some serious thought to whatever was my work issue of the moment.
One of my strong memories of London.
Definitely worth a visit

----------


## Mendip

^ The Tower holds some fascination for me but I'm sure it will still be there next time. That and the Greenwich Maritime museum are on my list for a proper visit.


Anyway, we did actually visit two places on our second and final full day in London. 

The day started as did the others... slightly overcast with scattered trains, and note that after two nights I still had 2 full inches. The chicken poppers (whatever they are) were a bit dodgy by this point as in between the shadows cast by the trains the sun had shone quite intensely on that window sill the previous day. (is it normal for UK hotels not to have a fridge... or a safe for that matter?)



I managed to get a 'four train' picture before we left, my best effort. Vauxhall Station really is very busy.



^ I think that's the Shard protruding just above the front of the closest South Western Railway train on which I think must have been Platform 8. We also saw the Shard on our open-topped bus tour and the commentator mentioned that it was renovated recently and they found a fox living right at the top. How or why he didn't mention.



This morning we were all meeting up at the Regency Cafe in Pimlico at 10am, thanks to Bonecollector's recommendation a few months ago. Much appreciated.

One mate / colleague was travelling from Southwark and another was staying with his wife in Chiswick but meself and the daughter could just walk over Vauxhall Bridge from our confines. We arrived a bit early... and there was a bladdy queue. (the Regency Cafe is on Regency Street and the daughter tried to claim another pound off me... but I was wise to her ways by this point and pointed out that it's Regent Street, not Regency Street on the Monopoly board. Bloody kids.)



Anyway, despite really looking forward to a fry-up in the Regency Cafe, a queue's a queue and it wasn't moving very fast so we all agreed to try another cafe up the road. I settled for a photo through he window.



This was the table we'd hoped to sit at...




Anyway, I'm sure the Regency Cafe will still be there next time. Google found us the Astral Cafe about 50 yards up the road.



Luvly jubbly, but I forgot the sausages which still slightly annoys me three days later.



And then onward to the Natural History Museum in Kensington, and our first go on the underground of the trip.... the daughter's first ever and my first for around 30 years... an event commemorated by photos.



Here it comes...



The obligatory selfie to send to he wife... much to the daughter's embarrassment.



The museum was absolutely jam-packed and hot as well. We managed a bit over two hours.

A blue whale skeleton at the entrance.



Mammoth (I think)...



A brontosaurus type fossil skeleton.



A Triceratops head in the foreground, with possibly a Tyrannosaurus head behind. 



And a number of Jurassic sea fossils... I would have been happy to find anyone of these in Lyme Regis a couple of weeks ago.



The most complete Stegosaurus fossil skeleton ever discovered...





And this allows me to repeat my favourite dinosaur trivia fact... did you know that the Stegosaurus was already a fossil when the Tyrannosaurus rex roamed the earth? 

_The Stegosaurus roamed the Earth during the late Jurassic period, between 156 and 144 million years ago. On the other hand, the Tyrannosaurus rex lived during the late Cretaceous period, about 67–65 million years ago. The T. rex actually existed closer in history to humans than to the Stegosaurus.
_
And here was a very realistic (I imagine) recreation of the Tyrannosaurus rex that moved and made noises.



Ammonites (just Google it, Reg...)



And a brief explanation of how I found a fossil bivalve at the top of Crook Peak the other day. After all, the Mendips are just a slightly smaller version of the Himalayas.



This was without doubt my favourite exhibit at the museum although I also found it incredibly depressing, as with any modern day extinctions. We are now within the fastest extinction rate of species ever... and guess who's responsible?

That Dodo looks incredibly sad.



I took a second picture of the Dodo to give it some scale against the humans (huge) and unwittingly included the Passenger pigeon... an even later extinction and another very sad tale of a once very numerous species now extinct purely due to man's excesses. I wonder how many more species will be displayed at the 'modern day extinction exhibit' if my daughter visits when she's my age... the black rhino, pangolin, tiger, African elephant, hornbill, any number of reptiles and amphibians... the list is endless.



On that depressing note we left the museum and went our separate ways.



And back to The Rose on the Embankment for me and the daughter...




Three days in London was enough for me. We did plenty and my mission of giving the daughter a taste of a western capital city was accomplished. My hope is that one day she will return to the west for further education and that a few visits to big cities prior will make this a less daunting prospect... but Somerset was calling so back to Paddingon it was.



There's our GWR train (we were lucky with the strike dates). As Mike metioned, fully electric and a smooth ride.



A quick one for the wife! No smile from the daughter, and we were on our way.



A partial view of Isambard Kingdom Brunel's iconic Temple Meads station building in Bristol. I didnt have time to get a proper picture as the train to Weston-Super-Mare was running on time.



That was our train from Paddington, parked up. Interestingly enough, that smart looking chap sitting to the right of my daughter turned out to be the conductor on our next train home. For some reason, by this point in the journey the daughter seemed to take every opportunity she could find to sit a long way from me.



We went south, past Bedminster where my mum grew up. I think that may be Bristol Cathedral in the distance.



And arrived at Yatton, bang on time. We only had a two carriage train but both had seats, no problem.



Although our train journeys went without major problems I sill don't like 'em and much prefer taxis. I was glad to see our train head off into the distance on it's way to Weston-Super-Mare and I hope it's a long time until I get into another.

----------


## DrWilly

What? I love trains. Madness, sheer madness.

----------


## Mendip

^ Well, go and stay in Vauxhall Travelodge then... see how you feel after that.

----------


## malmomike77

> @malmomike - I only learned recently (2 years ago?) that Jason Statham was an Olympic diver before he became a movie star. I just knew him as an actor (The Machinist and the ones with Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables).


he was indeed, like a cockney Connery :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> That and the Greenwich Maritime museum are on my list for a proper visit.


Definitely worth a visit and combined with a trip down the Thames, use the water taxi.

----------


## Neverna

> Have you found any rhubarb cider yet?


I had some last week. It was awful stuff. I threw at least half a bottle down the sink. It really shouldn't be called cider at all.

----------


## Mendip

Coincidentally enough I took the daughter for a walk around the village yesterday evening and lo and behold, we ended up at the local pub. 

Sadly the rhubarb cider 'special' was finished and had been replaced with blackcurrant and raspberry, which just didn't seem right to me so I had to make do with a couple of inches. But at least our friend was there... what I'd give to have a local like this within walking distance of our house in Korat. I reckon Maya would love it.

----------


## malmomike77

Does Mini like Quavers  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^

She seemed to cope with  3 nights in that travelodge alright  :Smile: 





Talking of tremors...

----------


## malmomike77

^medium, medium.....

----------


## Mendip

^ 10 inches... you sure you're not from the West Country?

----------


## malmomike77

He'll need them to get over having to sit through the most boring team in the PL labouring to yet another draw. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Does Mini like Quavers


She does now. My commitment to her education knows no bounds.

----------


## malmomike77

You pay a lot for air but they are worth it

----------


## armstrong

My daughter's well into Wotsits, luckily there's a Lazada shop that sells packs after their best before date for cheap.

----------


## malmomike77

^ she'll remember you fondly, how much was the black permanent marker  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> 10 inches... you sure you're not from the West Country?


They don't call where me and Cyrille come from, The Black Country, for no reason bro :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> My daughter's well into Wotsits


My young uns favourite too and a regular 36 pack purchase  seeing as i like nicking the odd one :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

> My young uns favourite too and a regular 36 pack purchase  seeing as i like nicking the odd one


I'm currently into out of date Space Raiders  but might switch to out of date Walkers when I go back to work as I don't want to look unprofessional.

----------


## malmomike77

^ pickled onion?

----------


## Mendip

I like to try and be a bit cerebral in these threads but just to show how all-inclusive I am... I would go Quavers over Wotsits every time. I had a bag of crunchy Wotsits a couple of weeks ago and thought they were rubbish. Also the Wotsits bags are so small. I bought a couple of bags of Monster Munch 'Giants' for our drive down to Dorset a few weeks ago, I think one was Pickled Onion and the other Beef flavour. When I eventually managed to fit one of these 'Giants' in my gob they tasted awful and I ended up feeding them to the seagulls. No, it's Quavers all the way for me.


Anyway, we're fast running out of days so the first day back from London we tackled Black Down, the highest peak of the Mendips at 325m above sea level and the culmination of our Mendip Hills walks. I found some walk directions in 'The North Somerset Life' magazine.



While I locked the car the daughter forged on ahead... the tortoise and the hare.



Plenty of instructions available which of course the cyclists ignore.



The walk in the magazine listed several landmarks and orienteering points to follow, which made it a bit more demanding. I wasn't familiar with this area.



Once we broke through the trees we could see our destination but the instructions took us on a circuitous route.



A style.



A metalled farm track...



You can take the girl out of Thailand...



Where stinging nettles were a problem I was sent on ahead.



I attempted the old 'try touching that fence with your tongue' trick, but the daughter was wise to that one.



As we ascended the lower slope through a wooded are we came across several of these structure.



And another...



The mystery was solved a few metres later when we found all this orange-coloured debris in the hollow...



... and I went down to investigate and found all these clay pigeons. This must be a gun club area and it's nice to see people shooting clay discs rather than animals. There were lots of anti-poaching signs around, this being an area with abundant rabbis, hares and deer.

 It's a shame they can't clear up after themselves, mind. I wonder if these discs would make good coasters?



We continued up along a pathway lined with bracken.



Until we eventually broke through the treeline and out onto open land. The peak of Black Down is Old Red Sandstone, an older and more resistant rock than the  limestone of the lower slopes which has been exposed in the centre of the anticline due to weathering of the younger limestone. Thicker soils forms on the impervious sandstone which, unusually for the Mendips, allows rich pasture on the upper slopes.



And for those geologically inclined. There's been a fair bit of thrusting south of Cheddar Gorge, and I'm not talking about Chitty parked up at night in his fancy convertible.



Apart from a couple of red kites (which we were later told were probably buzzards) we had seen no wildlife, and it soon became apparent why... the noisy inconsiderate b@stards.



We finally broke through to the upper heath land which was protected by a fence since it is a fragile area designated an area of outstanding natural beauty.



Finally, some respite from the wanker cyclists. I wouldn't mind horses to be honest but I'm sure if they are allowed then the up themselves cyclists would start whinging about their 'rights' and all that good stuff. I really hate them. How much to they contribute to the upkeep of the land?



This was the final push for the summit. The directions instructed us to take the right path. The whole area was parched and as dry as a bone.



The path was badly eroded and littered with rock fragments.



As I mentioned, the rock across the top of Black Down is Old Red Sandstone from the Devonian, maybe around 40 million years old and way before the dinosaur (even the Stegosaurus).



There were also several areas of flint. My Neolithic ancestors would probably have fashioned these into axe heads.



And finally... the peak of Black Down visible, marked by a trig point at 325m above sea level. We were slightly disappointed to see that someone had beaten us there. You can see a series of three mounds to the right, before the trig point.



The summit!



There was an elderly lady at the peak, I guess early 70s, who had run up there. She worked for the National Trust and collected litter, helped build dry stone walls etc etc. The trig point was built on one of four mounds which are Bronze Age round barrows (burial mounds for important people), probably aged around 2000 to 700 BC, so maybe 3000 to 4000 years old. They are protected but paths seemd to pass directly through each one. All have hollow tops having been plundered long ago, which is a shame.



Before she left the lady told me to walk off to the south a bit to get a good view of the four mounds... and then she jogged off. I walked southwards, looked back and the daughter had been joined by two more people... I feared the worst. But a nice pic of the four burial mounds... the westerly most one supporting the trig point.



As I returned to the trig point my fears were confirmed... more b@stard cyclists... and no way should they be here. Tossers.



Despite my hatred of cyclists I did allow one to take a couple of pictures of me and the daughter at the peak of the Mendips!



And then off they fukked. Ride carefully guys... hope you have no serious accidents.



There were breathtaking views from the top of Black Down. To the west, Weston-Super-Mare with Brean Down, Steep Holm and Flat Holm islands and the Bristol Channel clearly visible. Wales is on the horizon.



To the north, the Bristol Channel with the pillars of the old Severn Bridge to Wales visible. The new Severn Bridge is to the south (left) but I couldn't make it out.



And to the south, another one of these burial mounds. Those small hummocks arranged in a straight line either side of the path were built in the Secind World War. They supported flares that were lit at night to fool the Luftwaffe into bombing a barren hill rather then their intended target of Bristol. Google 'Operation Starfish' if interested... although you may get a few unwanted hits as well, of course.



One of the hummocks... I saw some of these on Dolberrow a couple of weeks ago... another mystery solved.



While I was explaining all these fascinating historicl facts to the daughter she suddenly got back up on her feet and just walked off. I guess I had bored her senseless. I know these moods (she gets it from her mother) so I just followed.



As I caught up with her we spoted Blagdon Lake, the site of my mispent youth.



Lovely... I've caught a few trout down there. You can see Nempnett Thrubwell on the far side of the lake.



The car park down in the combe was now in view and the daughter sped up, but not before admiring this tree. Black Down has a unique flora due to the acidic soil... any guesses as to what kind of tree this is? 































A lavatree!  :Smile: 



Cows...



We reached the road and I showed the daughter some Catseyes... I told her the story about their invention... but she wasn't interested.



And that was it... a successful ascent to the summit of the Mendips.



A well earned end of day cider. Lovely!

----------


## DrWilly

Looks like a lovely walk.

----------


## Bonecollector

That looked right up my street! Glad you had a nice time and some really nice nature there.

----------


## armstrong

This,



Reminds me very much of this,

----------


## Bogon

> I wonder if these discs would make good coasters?


They are very brittle and break quite easily.

----------


## pickel

I much prefer your rural, geological tours to the ones of London. Seen one postcard, seen them all I guess. I have a hunch you feel the same way. Cheers for taking the young one to the city though. And for making her climb hills in the hot sun. Nuay Mak was probably the phrase of the day. I had a stepdaughter her age, so know that ice cream amends most grievances  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> I had some last week. It was awful stuff. I threw at least half a bottle down the sink. It really shouldn't be called cider at all.


That's unfortunate. My Rosie's Pig was not bad at all. Closer to cider than Mont Clair is to wine.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Shutree

> Nempnett Thrubwell


That sounds like a made up name. Straight out of P G Wodehouse.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I much prefer your rural, geological tours to the ones of London. Seen one postcard, seen them all I guess


I guess you could say the same about rocks. I found it quite impressive how he managed to do "96% of  London'" without paying a single tourist attraction entrance fee :Smile: 



How Hal, Joe and Mike did do dat dere London...
Harry Enfield - The Scousers Visit London - video Dailymotion

Hal, you like like you've taken something you shouldn't have :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

That square rock at the top above... was it chiseled off this by any chance...




 :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

Jump on the train to London he said.

They don't check for tickets he said

----------


## Reg Dingle

Get in a black cab he said
Only 12 quid he said


Got out arf a nifty lighter.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Travel Lodge, Chelsea. :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

Bumped into an old poster on here, his hairline seems to be going the same way as Mendy's

----------


## DrWilly

> Jump on the train to London he said.
> 
> They don't check for tickets he said



Did you get nicked, or did you have a ticket?

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Hid in the loo and bailed at the next station :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ It looks fancy but I bet you don't get free 'body wash' out of a dispenser?

----------


## Reg Dingle

500 quid a night will get you a single room in here

----------


## Mendip

Anyway, I'm too busy for this today, we're off to see HMS Victory!  :Wank:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> It looks fancy but I bet you don't get free 'body wash' out of a dispenser?


We had free use of the owners toiletries :Smile: 

It was far from fancy tbh. In fact I reckon you would have had a better night's sleep. A double bed with a tiny mattress and there was a sofa bed in living room. Those two virtually slept on the floor :Smile: 

Owned by some Egyptian chancer,  the "Hot Tub" turned out to be the fukking bath. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I must admit that my passport renewal trips sound better.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Without a doubt :Smile: 

Their appointment was for 10:30am at the embassy today but we got there at 9 in typical Thai fashion and were done for 10. :Smile: 

Popped into that History museum which is about 100 metres from the Embassy. That skull on the one on the bottom reminded me of Mike's noggin in that photo of him with chopped ear in his home haircut photo

----------


## Reg Dingle

Got another hours wait now sat at a coffee shop while those 2 go shopping in that cheap looking place over yonder...



Just thought...I forgot to hand them my wallet :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

Saw this posh ice cream van near Kensington Palace yesterday and  thought this will top his 5 quid for a 99...



Not even close :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

Coffee? You've changed, Dill, you've changed!

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Wash your mouth out :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

Haha. Well done, young man.

----------


## Mendip

Is that really a picture of me sitting on your daughter's ice cream? You have problems.

But it was nice to see Citty parked up next to your cafe!

Anyway, been to Stone Henge enroute to Portsmouth... just arrived and met up with my oldest mate. Went posh this time and got ajoining rooms in the Holiday Inn. His son and my daughter are getting on like a house on fire and playing Roblox already... we're off to find cider!

HMS Victory tomorrow! Happy days!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> You have problems.


Eddie tell him.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> been to Stone Henge enroute to Portsmouth... just arrived and met up with my oldest mate. Went posh this time and got ajoining rooms in the Holiday Inn. His son and my daughter are getting on like a house on fire and playing Roblox already... we're off to find cider!


 :Smile:   Have a lovely evening mate. A beer garden beckons. Would this oldest friend be pegging aboard the victory tomorrow? :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

Oh have you tried this cider yet?
Afyer a few It tastes a lot like 3 inches

----------


## Bonecollector

> Their appointment was for 10:30am at the embassy today but we got there at 9 in typical Thai fashion and were done for 10.


I love this 5555 so true. I know many complain about the 'mai daaaaiiiiiiii's' but to be fair, I have encountered many 'daaaaiiiii!'.

----------


## Looper

^^^^^^

Good to see the dingle-daughter keeping the faith with the force

I have just finished rewatching episodes 1-3

The unfairly maligned middle trilogy




> HMS Victory tomorrow!


Shiver me barnacles

This confirms the pilgrimage as a true odyssey...

 ::chitown::

----------


## hallelujah

> 


Can you get refunds on those tit jobs pal?  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Can you get refunds on those tit jobs pal?


Nowt wrong with my moobs :smiley laughing: 

Notice how Dill was the only one getting a double flake? :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> Anyway, been to Stone Henge enroute to Portsmouth...

----------


## armstrong

aside from the egg that looks amazing.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, can't wait to try that when I get home. I know where to get the perfect sausages.

----------


## Headworx

^Make it and see if mini-Mendip picks up on what you've done. Dinner and a geography/history lesson all in one  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ That will be my plan!

 To be honest your effort isn't very realistic - I wish I could post a photo - but the uprights don't look like that and there's a lot of the horizontal capping stones missing, and there's no entrance ramp.

----------


## Headworx

^It's not actually _my_ effort and is a photo someone posted in a local food group recently for a laugh! And I've been to Stonehenge before, it's along the way to a training facility we use to use in Exeter. It's not exactly Palmyra or Giza, but it's interesting nevertheless!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Can you get refunds on those tit jobs pal?


It's not a very flattering dress...or a judging by your dinner pic, are you on about my daughter? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I never knew that Hilda Ogden liked a 99!  :Smile: 

Anyway, did you enjoy your 10 inches the other night?


I'm down to the last weekend of my pilgrimage... it's been a busy few days and I'm all behind. A few days ago we went to Shepton Mallet for the morning. We found this old, high wall and followed it round...



... to the entrance of Shepton Mallet Prison of course, or HMP Cornhill as it was also known.



Shepton Mallet Prison was built in 1627 and closed in 2013. Now you can have a look around without having to commit a crime first.



A bit of info...



The visitor cubicles are located close to the entrance. The daughter seemed to be acting the 'angry wife' for some reason. My wife runs strong in her!  :Smile: 



And then into the inner sanctum.



Soon after entering the secure part of the prison we found the firing squad wall.



This was the exact spot that those American servicemen stood in front of the firing squad. It was a strange feeling to stand in the same location that people have been executed but as luck would have it, while I stood there a big chunk of mortar came off in my hand so I quickly pocketed it for my rock collection.



And this looked like an old bullet hole to me.



On we went.



The punishment cells.



The rock breaking room. That would have been right up my street.



The security area where prisoners were searched was at the entrance to the prison wings.



There was a couple of 17th Century cells before the main prison wings.



If you were a short person you could probably just about lie down in these cells with your legs straight. There was no window and I think it would have been a nightmare if you were a bit claustrophobic like meself.



Not a lot of privacy either.



And then on to the Victorian prison wings. Before we entered we walked past the exercise area... you were allowed an hour a day I believe. The windows in the wall are the cell windows. It must have been a bit noisy in the cells behind the basketball hoop.



And onward...



The prison wings had three levels. I think the wire netting was strung across to prevent suicides.



They could have filmed Porridge in Shepton Mallet Prison, or maybe they all look the same?



And here's a cell. To be honest it doesn't look so bad after spending three days in the Travelodge in London.





Another cell on a different wing. They all looked exactly the same.



The Prison Governor's office... he did slightly better.



And another cell. The bed straps were made out of metal and weren't at all comfortable. I don't know if you were allowed TVs in the cells in recent times but it must have got awfully boring without any entertainment.



I wonder how many hours, days, weeks, months or years or maybe decades previous inmates spent lying on their bunk, staring at this exact same view of the closed cell door. A strange feeling.



You could always stare at the ceiling of course.



The view out of the window. No trains at least and it looks as though the window could be opened at will.



Children have also been incarcerated in Shepton Mallet Prison. I gave the daughter a short talk about the consequences of bad behavior.



All the cells were en-suite. The Kray twins spent a few weeks here in the 60s... as did many other notorious prisoners. It made me wonder who had sat on this khazi before me.



And onward to the execution room. There have been many executions at Shepton Mallet Prison over the years.



The entrance to the execution room is on the right. The hatch looks though to the Condemned Man's cell.



The Condemned Man spent his last 10 days in the Condemned Man's Cell, constantly accompanied by two prison officers to prevent suicide but also to keep him or her company.



That is the Execution Room right next door to the Condemned Man's Cell. The door at the end was hidden by a false bookcase so that the Condemned Man didn't know he was spending his last 10 days right next door to the place he would be hanged.



There must have been a lot of emotion in this room over the years. Some people say that they can feel stuff like that but I tried and didn't really feel anything.



Across the corridor from the Condemned Man's Cell was the Executioner's Accommodation. The Executioner arrived at his accommodation at 4am the day prior to the execution, so he spent around a full day there before a dawn execution. I don't know the reason for this custom.



I'm sure that sleep came a little easier in this room than on the cell across the corridor.



And into the Execution Room.



And there's the place. It's quite obvious where the Condemned Man stood before the drop. The white marker to the right of the wooden cage was where the lever that operated the drop was located.



Another view, looking back at the door of the Condemned Man's Cell. The Pierrepoint family were an executioner dynasty and led the development of humane executions using the drop method of hanging that immediately breaks the neck if the calculations have been done correctly (weight versus drop distance). Apparently one of the Pierrepoints completed an execution at Shepton Mallet Prison in just 7 seconds from leading the Condemned Man from his cell to the death by hanging.



Some terminology...



All good things must come to an end and eventually it was time to leave. It was good to be back outside after the grimness of the prison wings and execution area, even with the constant reminder of where we were by the razor wire.



But this is definitely the best side of a prison wall to be on. Hopefully another lesson learnt for the daughter as I strive to keep her on the straight and narrow!  :Smile: 



I would have to say that walking around Shepton Mallet Prison wasn't exactly a fun-filled morning so to cheer the daughter up I picked up her cousin and we stopped at an ice cream van, of course. It would be difficult to find cousins with such different colouring.



You know you're in Somerset when a tractor joins the ice cream queue!



Luvly jubbly, and under 7 quid if my memory serves me correctly.



Another day in Somerset.

----------


## Backspin

I thought you hopped over to Germany to tour the Stasi HQ. Looks quite similar.

----------


## Switch

> aside from the egg that looks amazing.


Agreed. It needs at least two eggs.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Agreed. It needs at least two eggs.


 :smiley laughing: 

It needs GRAVY!!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I'm down to the last weekend of my pilgrimage





> And this looked like an old bullet hole to me


I'm guessing those Bangkok passport run short time rooms are gonna look pretty swanky next week :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I don't know what you're talking about. There's not a chance I'll get to stay in Bangkok next week.


I've had a thing for Nelson for many years and the last week of our holiday really did involve a pilgrimage... to Portsmouth and the HMS Victory. The plan was to drive down with an old mate who now lives in Cheltenham but he had a late work day on Tuesday night so to save him a huge detour via Somerset we agreed to drive separately and meet up at the Old Portsmouth Holiday Inn on Wednesday afternoon. I mentioned to him hat we were going to call in at Stonehenge on the way down.

Many years ago I went to Southampton Uni so well know the route across the Mendips and down along the A36 which I drove many times as a student. This drive was going to revive many old memories and I looked forward to it... in the late 80s I drove the old fashioned way by looking at maps and learning the route but now I had Google Maps and an eleven year old to help navigate so I hoped for a quick drive.

As we approached Frome, the Google lady took us off the main road and down some side lanes so I assumed she knew some short cut... but the lanes became narrower and narrower...



I kept telling the daughter to zoom out a bit to make sure Google was still heading us in the right direction but she was using my 4G coverage to watch crap on Tik-Tok and I felt that things were starting to go wrong. Eventually I stopped outside this lovely old church in a place called Stoke St Michael...



But I hadn't stopped to admire yet another old building...



(and yes, I really do have my own road...)



... no, I had stopped because of this road sign.



I've always wondered what kind of idiot gets stuck down a narrow country lane because of Sat Nav... the daughter learnt a valuable lesson about not trusting everything she hears on the Internet... and she also learnt a few new choice words from her dad. We were getting behind schedule.

Anyway, eventually we found the A362 and headed past Longleat and on into Wiltshire to Stonehenge. As a kid we visited Stonehenge by driving along the main road, stopping in a lay-by and walking across the fields to the monument before clambering across the rocks. Now it has been taken over by English Heritage which just seems to be a money making machine. 

First up... £5 for parking (by the shop and 'Visitor Centre' but a couple of miles from the henge)...



And then on to the Visitor Centre...



Ker ching... this just to look at Stonehenge and the visitor centre which comprised a very small mock Bronze Age village and a very disappointing exhibition. Out of all our excursions Stone henge was the worst value for money, I would say. All we wanted to do was see the damn henge. 



The henge was a couple of miles from the centre but they did offer free shuttle buses, or a 30 minute walk but I was determined to get my money's worth. And it was damned hot.



Stonehenge is of course breathtaking despite a fence now cordoning it off. We walked around the perimeter of the 5000 year-old monument. No words needed.











Spot the difference!  :Smile: 




> Attachment 91489



This apparently is the Heel Stone, aligned to the Summer and Winter Solstice sunrise/sunset positions (I think) and was the closest I got to one of the huge megalths.



But there was no chance of getting a chunk for my rock collection... there were just too many tourists about and several English Heritage wardens were marching about. Anyway, I got a nice close-up picture of the megalith but wouldn't like to identify the rock composition from a photo... you need a fresh surface, preferably wet, to make a reliable identification and no way was I getting my hammer out there... or pissing on the fresh surface either (which is accepted geological practice). The megaliths at Stonehenge comprise a variety of rock and it's all on the Internet.



I did manage to pick up a few pieces of the natural gravel I discreetly found in the stony soil which had to suffice for my collection.



This was all hot work and I had an eleven year-old to keep happy...



I can't remember the price but seem to remember it was under 8 quid for my 99 and and the daughter's whippy with no flake.

She was well pissed off at the size of mine! The top of Stonehenge just to the left of my flake... these photos take some work.



We went back to join the queue for our shuttle bus back to the 'centre' when an old guy with a boy said, 'look at these two stuffing themselves with ice creams!'. I turned back to the daughter, rolled my eyes and was about to make a rude retort when I realised it was my oldest mate and his son. He had decided to call in at Stonehenge enroute o Portsmouth as well and the timing was amazing. It's strange when you meet someone out of context... I'm so used to never seeing anyone I know, any place, ever, this caught me out completely. I first met my mate in 1981 when we sat together in Biology in the local comprehensive, and have remained friends ever since. I worked with him on the Channel Tunnel but he left construction and is now a solicitor, for his sins. Anyway, luckily I recognised him just in time before insulting him in front of his boy.

After that we spent a few minutes in the visitor centre...

A Bronze Age house.



Megalith transport... some came from South Wales they reckon...



And how the henge once looked...



All very disappointing and not worth 40 odd quid. This was a shame as I've been really impressed with just about every other exhibit we've visited this holiday.

And then on to Pompey.

A typical English late summer scene. I tried for ages to get a good pic of a combine harvester but there was never anywhere to stop when we saw one.



Salisbury Cathedral from the car. I'm all churched out... it's all on the Internet. That's the problem with England, there's 800 year-old buildings everywhere.



As I was checking into the Holiday Inn my mate turned up, around 15 minutes behind us. I'd booked two ajoining rooms and as we were sorting stuff out the receptionist said that there was one double and one twin room... and that the kids could have the twin room. I realised to my horror that she thought we were a couple of queers and had to put that right... the receptionist was cute.

The daughter was well pissed off we had the double room so she had to share my bed. Opening windows... take note Travelodge.



Time for dinner... and just outside of the hotel was this...



The great man himself. To whet the appetite for the following day!



Old Portsmouth was well impressive with the Napoleonic (and older) sea defences.



Lots of new apartments.



And old defences.



The Isle of Wight across The Solent.



Offshore harbour defences seen through the opening. These buildings absolutely stank of piss.



The Spinnaker with the old harbour in the background.



This part of the harbour is called 'Spice Island' and is reputed to be where Sir Walter Raleigh first unloaded his potatoes from the New world. The Spice Island Inn has been a pub since the early 1700s and I reckon Nelson himself probably had a few drinks here while waiting for his orders.



Steak and Kidney Pudding on the menu... what a day!



Money...



We walked back to the hotel past a load of maritime history...



... and I'd like to say I had a sleepless night in anticipation of finally stepping foot on Nelson's HMS Victory... but the kids got on like a house on fire and went back to the rooms to play Roblox together while meself and my mate drank cider and IPA to the early hours and got well and truly pissed. It was looking as though the culmination of my pilgrimage was going to be spent with a raging cider hangover.

----------


## Loy Toy

Clear blue skies as well Mendy.

----------


## Joe 90

Cool update Mendip!

Surprised you didn't have a dip in the sea its been that flaming hot.

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## DrWilly

Why did you think the Stone Henge was disappointing? What were you hoping to see? Or was it the £40 fee? Ive driven past it once but couldnt enter at the time due to foot and mouth disease.

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## katie23

Re: Stonehenge, since it's now closed off by a fence, so the groups who go there during Solstice (wicca/ witches/ etc) just stay outside of the fence during their worship times? Or are they allowed to go nearer? (it might be a stupid question, but whatever...)

Thanks for the pics & stories, Mendip.

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## Joe 90

Having sex inside in the Stonehenge circle was always the ultimate experience back in the day.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> As I was checking into the Holiday Inn my mate turned up, around 15 minutes behind us. I'd booked two ajoining rooms and as we were sorting stuff out the receptionist said that there was one double and one twin room... and that the kids could have the twin room. I realised to my horror that she thought we were a couple of queers






> I'd like to say I had a sleepless night in anticipation of finally stepping foot on Nelson's HMS Victory... but the kids got on like a house on fire and went back to the rooms to play Roblox together while meself and my mate drank cider and IPA to the early hours and got well and truly pissed. It was looking as though the culmination of my pilgrimage was going to be spent with a raging cider hangover.


Left us hanging a bit there...
Did you wake up to a raging boner instead? :Smile:

----------


## Bogon

This is what my missus says when the phone's down to 12%

----------


## Reg Dingle

> The great man himself. To whet the appetite for the following day!




His final words lying there dying on that HMS Victory asking his mate for a kiss. What's all that about?
Him and his master flagman Tom were a couple of raving bisexuals too by the sounds of it. :Smile: 

Out of interest, did they spent there last night in that Holiday Inn? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I don't want any anti-Nelson talk like that on this thread, thank you.

There are rumours that on his death bed Admiral Horatio Nelson said, 'Kiss me Hardy', and that Captain Thomas Hardy kissed Nelson on his forehead and hands. There was no funny stuff. I've touched both the actual position that Nelson was shot by the French sharpshooter on the Quarterdeck of the Victory, and the exact location that he died down on the Orlop deck, but I have a lot of photos to sort out.

Anyway, last night I had my last draught Inch's of the Pilgrimage.

I really enjoyed the first half!  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> I really enjoyed the first half!


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## hallelujah

> I really enjoyed the first half!


Red owed.  :Grumble:

----------


## Looper

> The great man himself. To whet the appetite for the following day!


Looks like the admirable admiral dresses on the left as befits any proper gent.

 :UK:

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## Mendip

^ Which was just as well seeing as he was missing his right arm.

That's another feature I have in common with Nelson. In fact I dress so far to the left I have to stand at a 45 degree angle to the right at urinals, which can get a bit awkward in busy pub toilets.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Pah! call that a column?

----------


## Looper

^^Did you hire a costume as an homage to the admirable bluff old cove while strutting the poop deck?

Is that a telescope in your pocket or are you just stoked to be aboard!

----------


## Topper

Amazing Mendip...I read every poster you posted in the prison and found it absolutely fascinating and I read the Hornblower novels as a kid, seeing the Solent and Battery Row is pretty frigging cool.  Thanks!!!!

----------


## Mendip

^ Topper, if you enjoyed The Hornblower I can highly recommend Patrick O'brian's Aubrey and Maturin series of books, they are fabulous. I read them years ago and am trying to re-read the 20 odd book series now but never get the time... I took the first on my Pilgrimage and am only on Page 16.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Cam you spend a night in that prison?

Do the lights go off at 8pm then all the tents go up in the dorm? :Smile:

----------


## DrWilly

Hardly a great recommendation for a page turner if you are only on page 16…

----------


## Shutree

> I've had a thing for Nelson for many years


I was surprised you skipped a visit to his final resting place in the crypt of St. Paul's. It's more interesting than the average grave.

----------


## Mendip

^ I had to make many compromises for the sake of my daughter's sanity Shutree. Nelson's resting place will be next time.


^^ Yes, that does seem a bit strange but only because I'm so busy. My aim is to finish the first book before the end of the year


^^^  Yes you can. That was the plan but you have to be 18 so the daughter  wasn't allowed. The night events are more corporate kind of team  building stuff when you wander around looking for ghosts (the prison is  haunted) but I reckon a night locked in a cell would be a good  experience... so long as you can have alcohol and decent Wifi.

Night Behind Bars - Shepton Mallet Prison



The  main event in Portsmouth was the second and only full day, which  started as such... (Holiday Inn beat Travelodge hands down on the  breakfasts, and it came with the room). This was just what I needed to  help mop up the excess cider from the night before.



And then on past Spice Island...



The  masts we were aiming at turned out to belong to the HMS Warrior, a  steam-powered frigate built in 1860. I'm sure she would be very  interesting but we only had a day...



Soon  after this we entered the Royal Navy museum that houses the HMS  Warrior, Victory and the Mary Rose. I was with my daughter and my mate  was with his son, and in his wisdom he'd bought us a 'family' ticket  online which was good for two adults and up to three kids. When we  checked in I could tell exactly what the guy behind the counter was  thinking... a pair of shifters. Again. I spent some time patiently  explaining that we both had wives but they weren't interested in British  naval history. I could tell he didn't believe me.

On to the HMS Victory. There were a couple of modern day aircraft carriers at berth.



And finally, what I had been waiting so long to see.



I've  gotta say it was a bit disappointing to find that the HMS Victory is  currently undergoing major refurbishment and was shrouded in scaffolding  and covers... you could barely see her and the masts had been  unstepped. But even so...

That's me in front of Admiral Nelson's  flagship, the HMS Victory, the ship from which he commanded the English  fleet and won the Battle of Trafalgar on 21st October 1805. This visit  has been a long term goal of mine.



Although I must admit I wish she had looked like this! As I was expecting.



We  travelled along a walkway past her stern enroute to boarding. That top  row of windows belong to Captain Thomas Hardy's cabin and the middle row  to Admiral Horatio Nelson's cabin, both of which we visited. he bottom  row of windows belonged to the ships' officers wardroom which was out of  bounds for visitors. The HMS Victory is still a commissioned vessel in  the Royal Navy and as such has a constant naval crew aboard. I guess  they need some privacy from the hordes of landlubber tourists and even  from the more knowledgeable sea dogs and Nelson fans like my good self.



Part of the Victory's stern was just visible, poking out from the shroud of scaffolding along her port side.



And  finally, after having our 'family' ticket checked one more time (much  to my discomfort) we boarded. I've been up a few gangways in my time but  none as momentous as this.



There  were many 'Mind Your Head' signs within the Victory and you can see  why. Even being an old sea dog like meself, I managed to twat my bonce several  times on the low decks. Whereas people tended to be shorter during  Nelson's time there were many on the ship's roster exceeding six foot  and the chief carpenter (only 24 years old) was 6' 4"... they must have  had a nightmare.



And so the tour began.

----------


## DrWilly

Family ticket?  ::doglol:: 

Bendy Mendy really _is_ a bumdar!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I could tell exactly what the guy behind the counter was thinking... a pair of shifters.Again. I spent some time patiently explaining that we both had wives but they weren't interested in British naval history


 :smiley laughing:   Where's your wedding ring?^^

----------


## Mendip

^ This is precisely the attitude that made me feel uncomfortable. I'm no bumder and I'm as open minded as the next man but this seems to be the way people think, just because two very hetero guys have ajoining rooms in a hotel with their kids and then get a family ticket to view the nations glorious naval history.


Anyway, as you can see from the pic when we boarded (on the middle gun deck) the Victory was a floating battery. Back then, the well-trained gun teams meant the difference between defeat and victory... the faster rate of fire would prevail and the English Navy were the best trained in the world. Whereas their French and Spanish adversaries usually trained by going through the motions without the cost of live rounds, the English gun teams trained with live powder and shot, with actual targets to destroy. The same for Wellington's Red Coats whose rate of musket fire was unrivaled. 

A 'monkey' holding 10 cannon balls... this one appeared to be made from wood but the saying about brass monkeys comes directly from these cannon ball holders when made from brass. In cold weather the metal holders would contract, forcing the balls to fall off the brass monkey. My foot for scale... I think these were 24 pound balls on the middle gun deck.



The capstan on the middle gun deck. This is basically a huge winch... wooden beams were placed in the sockets and sailors used the leverage gained to winch heavy weights aboard the ship... or maybe even to winch the ship off a sandbank using the ships' anchors.



But our tour was to start on the upper gun deck (top deck)... the Victory was a 'Ship of the Line' boasting three gun decks... upper, middle and lower.



The upper gun deck... packed with cannon at the 'aft end. The two 'spikes' on the right-most cannon were stuck into the deck and used to lever and thus aim he cannon.



Drummer boys around the same age as my daughter were used to drum the ship's crew to quarters. The upper gun deck was probably the most dangerous part of a ship during battle and to think that 11 year-olds were on the drums or supplying gun crews with powder (powder monkeys) doesn't really bare thinking about.

My daughter feels hard done by after being forced to do 20 minutes recorder practice!



The ship's wheel. For'ard of the wheel is the Quarter deck, where the ship's officers would pace back and forth during battle. Aft of the Quarter deck is the captains cabin... Captain Thomas Hardy in the case of the Battle of Trafalgar aboard the HMS Victory. Above the captain's cabin is the Poop deck.



Who couldn't resist a photo at the HMS Victory's wheel!



And looking for'ard across the Quarterdeck towards the bows, from the captain's cabin. That chap and his son appear to be emotionally viewing something on the deck?



The daughter was also caught up in the emotion and insisted on doing one of her Thai 'points'...



Yes, this was the exact spot on the Quarterdeck that Lord Admiral Horatio Nelson was shot with a musket ball by a French sharpshooter up in the rigging of the French ship Redoutable. Nelson insisted on wearing his fine Admiral's uniform which made him an obvious target as he paced the Quarterdeck of the Victory during the early stages of the Battle of Trafalgar. The Redoutable was alongside taking a pounding but also pouring in fire from her snipers... and a musket ball hit Nelson's shoulder and severed his spine.



And the scene on October 21st, 1805... quite humbling to be honest.



There are many accounts of Nelson's death but I think these are pretty good...

What were Nelson's last words? | Royal Museums Greenwich

Who shot Nelson’s killer? | Royal Museums Greenwich

I think it's very sad that Nelson was taken out of the battle so early, before he knew if England were victorious... we were, and it was all down to Nelson's battle strategy. He was a master strategist.

----------


## Mendip

Taking a pause from the battle, we took a look around Captain Thomas Hardy's quarters, aft of the Quarterdeck. 

This was his day room.



And the captain's cabin.

His 'sea chest' would have contained all of his personal belongings, plus uniforms, etc much like my holdall when I go to work offshore. Everything was kept contained because as soon as 'Battle Stations' was announced, the captains cabin became as much a part of the the fighting ship as any other part of the gun decks. Everything was cleared for battle and the cannons manned. I think this cannon would have been called the 'stern chaser', a smaller caliber but with longer range than the cannons used for the broadsides.



A view out of the captain's cabin stern windows. Today we see a modern day aircraft carrier... which couldn't have even been dreamt about in 1805 when Thomas Hardy looked out at the French and Spanish fleet at Trafalgar.



The captain's cot. Not bad lodgings at all.



And even beneath the captain's cot there was a cannon waiting to be used in battle.

----------


## Iceman123

Fantastic read this thread. Well done

----------


## Reg Dingle

Indeed. Enjoyed that last write up  :tumbs: 

A great storyteller and he would sound just like a pirate with that West Country accent, I'd imagine.

Arrrrrr :Smile: 

Out of interest, where was the peg on the Victory? :Smile:

----------


## Topper

Thanks Mendip! I started Master and Commander a while back, but they didn't really grab me the same way as the Hornblower novels did.  Maybe I'll give them another try.

Excellent tour, thanks!  I toured the USS Constitution, America's version of the oldest active duty ship and found it much smaller than the Victory.

----------


## Mendip

^^ I'm no expert, but I reckon it may be halfway up Ronaldo's areshole?


But anyway, after the Quarterdeck we walked for'ard towards the bows. These brackets would have housed the Victory's boats... which were missing, I guess due to the ongoing restoration works. (looking aft).



This is probably a good time to show another pic of the fighting on the Victory's upper deck to give some context (looking for'ard). It was really a strange feeling to be standing on exactly the same place as these events occurred, although many hundreds of miles distant. I just love history.



The HMS Victory's bows, upper gun deck. Unfortunately littered with landlubber tourists. My daughter is more of a scholar. I would love a solo guided tour of the Victory with a knowledgeable guide... no tourists, no nothing. I'd pay good money for that.



The heads. This is where you did your business... jump down and let the gushing water do the cleaning. The original bum gun.



A look back aft along the upper gun deck, from the bows, with a lot of scaffolding. The ship's bell in view, which controlled all shifts and was a constant presence. A fascinating topic all on it's own... but for elsewhere...

Ship's bell - Wikipedia

Up at he bows were these two cots/hammocks... a lot better than the ship's sailors hammocks so I'd imagine for un-commissioned officers, maybe... of course these would immediately disappear as soon as General Quarters was announced.



The cat o' nine tails... flogging was a huge part of Naval discipline but used at the captain's discretion. The bosun was usually charged with administering punishment. No need to let these 'cats out of the bag' as they're already hanging on display.



And he down to the middle gun deck... this was where the business really happened.

----------


## Looper

Throbbing climax to the prematurely crowned TOTY (no poll required)

Epic and edumacational stuff to boot

 :Notworthy: 




> I started Master and Commander a while back, but  they didn't really grab me the same way as the Hornblower novels  did.


I did not even know it was a book. This is the thread that keeps on giving.

I have dug out the movie and loaded it in the projector's brass monkey.

----------


## DrWilly

> and it was all down to Nelson's battle strategy. He was a master strategist.





> Nelson insisted on wearing his fine Admiral's uniform which made him an obvious target as he paced the Quarterdeck



perhaps not so master strategist

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## Mendip

^ Nelson liked to lead by example... he lost his right arm leading a small boat action in Teneriffe and his right eye doing similar in Corsica. Incidentally, he was back at work half an hour after having his right arm amputated... those guys were built of strong stuff.

Looking above I got a bit mixed up with the photos and the decks. The ship's boats should have been on the Foc'sle, which along with the Quaterdeck made up the top deck. And the photo I meant to show (but didn't) of the ship's bell was looking back along the top deck from the Foc'sle, aft, towards the Quarterdeck, ship's wheel and stern. I blame getting pissed up on duty free whisky last night.

Anyway, the ship's bell. There were few cannon on the top deck, mainly I guess due to lack of space and stability reasons. I think it tended to be the shorter carronades installed on the top deck which were often loaded with grape shot to clear enemy top decks and rigging of men during close quarter action. Anyway, the picture below of the ship's bell shows how small the Victory was... at 69 metres long it would fit on the back deck of some of the vessels I work on now, and whereas my work vessels will maybe have a POB of 70 or 80, the Victory carried 850 men. She must have been very cramped.



The last three pics above are of the upper gun deck (or main deck), one deck below the top deck. The Victory has three gun decks; upper, middle and lower.



Some armaments of the day which would have been handed out for close quarter action... boarding an enemy ship or defending yours if boarded by the enemy. Cutlasses and pistols.



The bosun's tool kit. The gun decks are dominated by cannon. The upper gun deck carried 24 pounders (24lb shot). Each was crewed by six men... you can only imagine how cramped, noisy and smoky the gun decks were during repeated broadsides.



More armaments... pikes, cutlasses, pistols and grappling hooks. During battle an enemy ship could be grappled and then lashed alongside before having the absolute fuk blasted out of it by repeated broadsides before boarding.



A gunners view through the gun port. The bucket was for gun powder. The rope around the back of the cannon was to limit the recoil.



Tools of the trade... a swab, ram and scraper (I think). After each shot the cannon was swabbed out with water to prevent ignition of the new powder, and once the powder charge was added, a shot was rammed home. The Victory gun crews could reload in 90 seconds, far quicker than their French or Spanish counterparts and one reason for the British naval domination through Napoleonic times. Those cannon weigh 3.5 tonnes and had to be man-handled back and forth between each shot. Tough men.



At the aft end of the upper gun deck as the Admiral's cabin... in the case of the HMS Victory at Trafalgar, Nelson's cabin, of course.

Nelson's day room... and fleet's conference room. On the evening of 20th October 1805, the day before the Battle of Trafalgar, Nelson sat around this very same table and told the captain's of the British fleet the battle strategy.



I was there last year!



And through to Vice Admiral Horatio Nelson's cabin at the stern of the upper gun deck, one deck below Captain Thomas Hardy's cabin.



Nelson's leather armchair... those indentations were probably made by the man himself!



Another view of the cabin, across to the port side where there was an open door...



Yes, this was where the great man cut off a length in the morning. Even Nelson had to take a dump. What a view he had!



And on the starboard side, Nelson's cot. 



Sandwiched between two cannon. Nothing was sacred... even the Rear Admiral of the Fleet's cot would be removed during action.

A picture of Lady Emma Hamilton on the wall. My daughter's middle name is also Emma!



And then down to the middle gun deck. More 24 pounders lining both sides.



Muskets and bayonets... for the marines I think.



The galley.



The galley is on the right of the picture here. The British navy fed their men well. Scurvy was almost unheard of in Nelson's navy due to giving the men lime juice every day (hence Limeys) and when at sea the men received three good meals a day. The food was a selling point to men joining the navy and life expectancy for sailors (excepting losses in battle) was longer than the national average due to the good diet and good medical care.



The last hot meal for one gun crew before the Battle of Trafalgar.



And typical sleeping arrangements for the men. Each man was allotted 14 inches in which to hang his hammock. Every space on a naval warship had to be utilised.



And on down to the very cramped lower gun deck. This deck was lined with 32 pounders... the larger cannon kept low for stability reasons. One of the biggest risks during battle was flying wood splinters due to cannon ball strikes. he lower gun deck was one of the safer areas during a battle and only two gunners were killed on the Victory's lower gun deck during the Battle of Trafalgar.







Rope stored at the bow of the lower gun deck... for mooring up when alongside.



My foot for scale!



A few stats...



And then down to the Orlop deck, below the waterline.

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## Headworx

> Incidentally, he was back at work half an hour after having his right arm amputated...


So they'd do anything to avoid an LTI even back then 'aye?  :Smile: 

Hard to describe just how good your pics and descriptions are, having never set foot on such a vessel before I find it extremely interesting.

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## Edmond

Outstanding ol' chap.


I want to both go there, and have a scale model.

The same as yours.  :Yup: 



So, yeah, umm, what date did you say you'll be gone 'til?

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## Joe 90

Can only imagine what it was like aboard over 200 years ago. 
Cool pics and commentary. 
Glad to see you've got some practical footwear at last. :Smile:

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## DrWilly

Excellent post, really do enjoy your explanations.

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## bsnub

Can almost go back in time with those pics and imagine what it was like in an Atlantic squall. I imagine it was quite dank and wet inside on those lower decks. 

This is another "famous" thread worthy of being pinned. Also, I would say Mendy is once again leading contender for TD poster of the year!  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^ There are a lot of omissions... just too much going on to mention everything and I'm sure I've made errors as well. Hopefully it gives a 'feel' for life in Nelson's navy and there's a wealth of information out there for anyone who's interested.

Anyway, I need to press on and get this thread wrapped up because I start work soon and have to squeeze in a trip to Bangkok early next week to attend to a medical issue.


The steps at the aft end of the ship down to the Orlop deck led straight to the cockpit, where the ship's surgeon worked during battle. His tools of the trade...



There was of course no anaesthesia in Nelson's time, or anti-biotics to prevent infection if you survived the surgery. I would guess that sterilisation of tools between different patients during a busy battle didn't happen either. The only comfort patients received was a wad of leather to bite down on during the procedures... you can only guess at the horrors that could have been witnessed in the cockpit.



Being below the waterline, the Orlop deck was dark and gloomy with the only light coming from lanterns and some natural light that filtered down through stairwells. Nelson was brought down to the Orlop deck and placed around the corner on the port side from the cockpit after being hit by the French musket ball. There was nothing the surgeon could do. Apparently a Midshipman gave up his bedding for the great man to lie on.

This lantern and wreath carved into the bulwark marks the place of Nelsons death. 



Nelson's last words are said to have been, 'Thank God I have done my duty', before he died at 4:30pm while the battle still raged on above. Nelson died in the comfort that the Battle of Trafalgar was assured to be a British victory by this point, entirely due to Nelson's bold tactics.



The Battle of Trafalgar was claimed a victory at 5pm on 21st October 1805. This established British naval supremacy for a hundred years and shattered Napoleon's plans to invade Britain by sea. The French and Spanish fleet lost nineteen ships while the British lost none, although 1500 British seamen were lost or wounded.




Anyway, from Nelson's deathbed we continued along the port side of the cramped Orlop deck, past the bosun's and carpenter's stores.



And even down here sailors were expected to sleep. It must have been hell during the hot Mediterranean summers.



I think these slightly lavish and roomy hammocks wold have belonged to the bosun, ship's carpenter and the like.



At the bows there was access down to the hold... used for storage of food, water, munitions etc to provide ballast for the ship.



There was also a lot of rock ballast. I wanted to get a few pieces of 'HMS Victory ballast' for my rock collection but there was just no way of reaching any.



And that was it for the interior of the HMS Victory. I could of course have spent the entire day there, and more, but we had a ten and eleven year-old to keep entertained and after three hours they were at their limit. Before we left however, we visited a small shop at the for'ard end of the Orlop deck where I bought some Nelson memorabilia including an HMS Victory pint glass and a ship's log. For some reason the daughter went for a cuddly ship's rat... as I've mentioned before, my wife runs string in her!  :Smile: 

We took a brief walk beneath the dry-docked Victory to inspect her timbers.



The mighty rudder operated by the ship's wheel up on the Quarterdeck. The green colour comes from copper sheathing.



I did mange to get a small chunk of Portsmouth No. 2 Dry Dock (where the Victory is housed) for my rock collection, which was better than nothing. I used the old 'pretending to tie my shoelaces' trick and reached through the barrier fence.

You can see he Victory's keel in this pic. It should be straight but over 200 years have taken their toll on the elm timbers. The majority of the ship is made from oak.



And then back outside where the mystery of the missing ship's boats from the Victory's foc'sle was solved.



And the mighty figurehead of the great man himself!



I was lost in my thoughts for some time and when I came to I realised that my daughter had gone missing. 

I looked around and discovered that my daughter was showing Henry VIII her rat... and although that may seem like a bold claim it is perfectly true!  :Smile: 



Henry was doing talks in the Mary Rose Museum and must have come out for a breather. I've decided not to go on about the Mary Rose as well because fascinating as her story is, my knowledge is limited and I can't do it justice in this thread.

And only one way to celebrate really...



Well... two ways of course.



Gammon, egg and chips with peas! Plus the kids salad and veggies.



What a day!

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## Edmond



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## DrWilly

What a day indeed. Three hours? Holy heck, I like a good old museum ship but that would be stretching the friendship. Amazing that the kids lasted that long! 

You’ve mentioned Nelson’s bold tactics won the day once or twice here. I know I could google or read a book, but I’m interested in your précis of his battle plan.





> and have to squeeze in a trip to Bangkok early next week to attend to a medical issue.


PS:  epididymal hypertension is not normally considered a medical emergency…

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## Edmond

Fantastic, cheers.

Storing and serving 3 meals a day to 850 men must have been a task in itself. Will have to research that later.

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## Headworx

> There was also a lot of rock ballast.


Good God can you even begin to imagine how ships of that era with round hulls would have been in 5+ meter beam-on seas, ballast or not! I'll bet even the hardiest of seamen wouldn't have been able to keep food down, and who knows how they could have moved around the ship without getting thrown to the ground or crashing into walls every second step. The _creaking_ noises must have been like the Chinese water torture too, those guys definitely earned their pay just being on-board never mind trying to fight a war at the same time!

 Good luck with the epididymal hypertension treatment in Bangkok mate, a terrible condition to endure but treatment is available.

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## Edmond

> 


11:37


Mendo's fascination and respect is now understood.

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## Mendip

> PS:  epididymal hypertension is not normally considered a medical emergency…





> Good luck with the epididymal hypertension treatment in Bangkok mate, a terrible condition to endure but treatment is available.


I had to Google that... Blue Balls, FFS...

Is it too much to ask to get a little respect on this forum?

In fact I try and go once a year to see a doctor in Bumrungrad to get checked for skin cancers. I try and do this regularly since getting one cut out a few years ago but am long overdue due to Covid. 

Is it my fault that they stuck Bumrungrad right at the bottom of Sukhumvit?





> 11:37
> Mendo's fascination and respect is now understood.


More FFS...

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## Headworx

> Is it my fault that they stuck Bumrungrad right at the bottom of Sukhumvit?


No, and that little fist-pump you do behind the chook run every time some reason to go there stay in the area for a night or two shows your disappointment  :Smile: 





> Is it too much to ask to get a little respect on this forum?


Not really, but then you wouldn't laugh your arse off while writing, reading, and replying to the craic, so what fun would that be?  :Smile:

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## Edmond

90 seconds to fire, clean, reload, pump and fire again is amazing Mendy 


The same as the cannons on the ship.

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## Mendip

^ Thanks Ed, but to be fair I've had years of practice.

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## DrWilly

90 seconds? So what do you do with the rest of the 3 days on a passport run?

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## Reg Dingle

He continues on pumping his canon like one of Horatio's artillery men albeit with ladyfellas held down in a Full Nelson. :Smile:

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## Mendip

> 90 seconds? So what do you do with the rest of the 3 days on a passport run?


I have a nice cup of tea!

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## Mendip

> He continues on pumping his canon like one of Horatio's artillery men albeit with ladyfellas held down in a Full Nelson.


I've said it before and I'll say it again, you seem to have some issues Reginald Dingle.

A Half Nelson is more than sufficient.

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## Edmond

> I've had years of practice.


I bet!

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## DrWilly

> I've said it before and I'll say it again, you seem to have some issues Reginald Dingle.
> 
> A Half Nelson is more than sufficient.



Is that an admisison? With ladyboys.

oh my.

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## Shutree

> My foot for scale!


And with that foot shot, the thread feels nearly complete.  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^^ I drank whisky last night... I didn't know what I was typing. 

^ There is one last excursion to go that really did change it from an Oddysey to a Pilgrimage!

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## DrWilly

> ^^ I drank whisky last night... I didn't know what I was typing. 
> 
> ^ There is one last excursion to go that really did change it from an Oddysey to a Pilgrimage!


So your do ladyboys while drunk? I think I'm going to avoid that invitation to join your on your next passport run, no offence.

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## Mendip

^ No offence taken! 

I have a small admission to make here... there was no invitation coming. My passport runs are strictly private affairs.


We completed our pilgrimage, of course, with a trip to Glastonbury Abbey. Real Pilgrims have been making their pilgrimages to Glastonbury for centuries and the cradle of English Christianity seemed to be the perfect end to ours. Even Jesus with his uncle, Joseph of Arimathea are reputed to have visited Glastonbury.

I picked up my niece from Wells and we arrived at Glastonbury on a beautiful sunny morning. The parking was very reasonable as well. In Dorset you had to enter the car registration number for your ticket but there were no such rules in Somerset. This meant that on leaving I could offer my unused hours to another poor motorist to reduce the money grabbing car park keeper's income.



And the church on Glastonbury High Street that gave the car park it's name.



Glastonbury used to be a lovely place but now it's been taken over by a load of up themselves twats. My 19 year-old London music college student niece told me that Glastonbury isn't a place but a way of life. This must be one of the most cringe worthy comments I have ever heard but I resisted causing a family argument and just grunted in response.

Even the pet food shop seems to have gone vegan... although at least Reg Dingle could pick up some more peanut butter for his poor mutt, I guess.



It was a shame this shop was closed as I could have done with some Aromatics!



What even is a 'Sound Healer'?



I didn't see one normal shop on the High Street. Mind you, it was noticeable that they were all bereft of customers.



I found a bakery but the pastry was all brown and whole-mealy... and there were no steak and kidney pies.



A Yin Yang shop.



I don't know why all this stuff gets up my nose so much, but it just does. To me it's all pretentious bollocks, but each to their own I guess.



Not often I hope for rain...



But anyway, after spending precisely nothing on Glastonbury High Street we finally reached the entrance to the famous Glastonbury Abbey and the completion of our Pilgrimage. There's my daughter and her cousin going on ahead although I knew they wouldn't be going far as you have to pay to get in.

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## armstrong

> So your do ladyboys while drunk? I think I'm going to avoid that invitation to join your on your next passport run, no offence.


Sounds like you're the drunk one to me.

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## Joe 90

That car park is actually pretty cheap.

Feeling the peace and looove man :Smile:

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## Joe 90

> Nelson liked to lead by example... he lost his right arm leading a small boat action in Teneriffe


That's what happens when foreplay gets out of hand in Tenerife,  still goes on till this day according to Dills travel thread. :Smile: 

I'll raise you a Wellington Mendip and a proper pint..





I've always thought Nelson overrated. Nelson fought a poor French and Spanish navy whereas Wellington fought an extremely good French army. He didn't fight anywhere like as many battles as Wellington, Wellington was heavily outnumbered in his early battles more so than Nelson at Trafalgar and as at Trafalgar he overwhelming crushed his opponent on several occasions. Nelson already had a superb navy, well trained men, skilled officers to work with, Wellington had to build everything himself. :ourrules:

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## Edmond

> I've always thought Nelson overrated. Nelson fought a poor French and Spanish navy whereas Wellington fought an extremely good French army. He didn't fight anywhere like as many battles as Wellington, Wellington was heavily outnumbered in his early battles more so than Nelson at Trafalgar and as at Trafalgar he overwhelming crushed his opponent on several occasions. Nelson already had a superb navy, well trained men, skilled officers to work with, Wellington had to build everything himself.


Nelson vs. Wellington | History Forum

_"I've always thought Nelson overrated. Nelson fought a poor French and Spanish navy whereas Wellington fought an extremely good French army. He didn't fight anywhere like as many battles as Wellington, Wellington was heavily outnumbered in his early battles more so than Nelson at Trafalgar and as at Trafalgar he overwhelming crushed his opponent on several occasions. Nelson already had a superb navy, well trained men, skilled officers to work with, Wellington had to build everything himself."

Toltec 2013. 

_

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## Mendip

^ It's almost as if they weren't in fact Joe's words! :Smile: 

But you'll get no argument from me... Wellington was also a great leader and tactician. It was rate of Red Coat musket fire that won the day, much as rate of cannon fire won for Nelson... all down to relentless training. That, and configuring his troops into lines rather than the columns the French used.

But without Nelson's navy, how would Wellington have even crossed the Channel? He'd still be waiting at Portsmouth for a lift. Not to mention the French navy that would have controlled the seas.

And Nelson won Trafalgar all on his own... Wellington woUld have lost Waterloo had the Prussians not turned up at the end of the day to turn the battle.

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## Mendip

Pilgrimage

Noun: *a journey to a sacred place*


You could of course argue that the HMS Victory is a sacred place, or anywhere in Somerset, Dorset or Wiltshire that takes you back to your youth. But the word pilgrimage does have religious connotations and despite not having a religious bone in my body it seemed only fitting that the climax of our pilgrimage was at Glastonbury Abbey, reputably the cradle of English Christianity, the burial place of King Alfred and Guinevere and the destination of thousands, maybe even millions of pilgrimages over the last couple of thousand years.

Glastonbury Abbey | Visitor Attraction | Somerset UK

Glastonbury Abbey - Wikipedia



Considering the history it was cheap as well. The daughter got in for free (the first place of our pilgrimage that didn't charge for kids) and as luck would have it the niece had her student card with her, saving me another pound.



This is how they reckon Glastonbury Abbey looked in it's heyday back in the 14th Century before Henry VIII's dissolution of the Monasteries, culminating in the arrest of the last Abbot of Glastonbury Abbey, Richard Whyting on trumped up charges. He was hung, drawn and quartered on Glastonbury Tor in 1539, not a nice way to go. This was all so Henry could get his end away and I now wish that my daughter hadn't been quite so keen to show him her rat.

Anyway, we visited on a hot, still, cloudless August morning which really lent some reverence to the occasion.



The ruins really are splendid and even for a non-religious person like myself it was hard not to be moved.







How they reckon the interior of the Lady Chapel looked, back in it's day.



The crypt under the Lady Chapel.



Part of the exterior...



Girls talk. I hate to see my daughter growing up so fast. She asked me if I was transsexual the other day.



Looking east at the abbey ruins.



And back west towards the Lady Chapel.







An old grave...



The sense of history here was breathtaking.



Another grisly medieval tale...





When I lived in the part of the world I didn't appreciate the history much at all but now I'm absolutely fascinated by it. I really miss having 800 year-old buildings to walk around in Thailand... they are two a penny in the UK. I know there are a few Khmer ruins and stuff in Isaan but they just don't grab me in the same way as European history.



Maybe these two will be more interested in years to come... bloody kids. I lost them after around an hour.



It was interesting to see how higgledy-piggledy the stonework was beneath the dressing stones.



From the extreme east end of the abbey... looking through the abbey ruins towards the Lady Chapel.



Everything was so magnificent and spiritual I was almost tempted to sit cross-legged and start chanting... but nah...  :Smile: 



The south exterior.





Some stonework just waiting to fall out of this archway. I reckon they would have 'just come off in my hand' quite easily. There was no obvious security and much as I would have liked a large chunk of Glastonbury Abbey for my rock collection it just didn't seem right to start pulling apart 12th Century stonework, and it may well be illegal as well. I did however find a few small pieces in the borders that had fallen out of the walls... fair enough I reckon and easy using the 'pretending to tie my shoelaces' trick.



A small building at the southwest corner set apart...



Maybe Joe90 could pick up some tips?







It was hot work and eventually we finished up for a cold drink and ice cream. There was no whippy icecream or 99s here of course... as was befitting for Glastonbury it was little tubs of expensive ice cream with posh flavours. The girls were still deep in conversation although I very much doubt they were discussing Henry VIII's 16th Century dissolution of the monasteries.



Not a bad way to finish a pilgrimage. There was no time to walk up Glastonbury Tor, but it was as hot as hell anyway. The Somerset Levels were swampy marshland/sea in King Alfred's day, hence Glastonbury was/is known as the 'Isle of Avalon'.



Another lovely Somerset day. The mead was a significant step up from the gardener's Ya Dong although wasps found a combination of honey and apple smell irresistible. I didn't drink the mead for long.

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## OhOh

> much as rate of cannon fire won for Nelson


Where would the gunpowder and shot be stored? 

One always sees a lot of paintings of battleships fighting, but presumably there would be a fleet of cargo ships required to carry supplies, or not. 

If not, any journey back to base must have left the fleet ripe for an attack.

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## DrWilly

> but presumably there would be a fleet of cargo ships required to carry supplies, or not.


Nope, the ships had to be self sufficient. 

Powder was stored in a powder room, under the waterline, with copper sheets for protection. 

The balls are heavy and are stored next to the cannons. (and they are no danger of exploding)

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## Mendip

^ Thanks Doc.

I think that the powder room was guarded by marines at all time to prevent unauthorised access.

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## DrWilly

Additionally, no lights were allowed in the powder room (lanterns hung outside small windows), heavy felt curtains for the doorways and anyone inside the powder room carried no metal on them and wore felt shoes to reduce the risk of a spark.

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## Headworx

I'd never really thought about that but as Mendip will attest, the biggest fear _by far_ on ships is fire. So here we are in the middle of the ocean on a wooden ship with none of the fire suppressing/fighting systems found on modern steel vessels and throwing buckets of water being your only defence should fire break out, so let's store tons of highly flammable gunpowder deep in her belly. No thank you!

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## Mendip

I want to finish off this thread... and it annoys me immensely that I feel this need on an anonymous internet forum, but that's just the way I am. 

If I start something I want to finish it. Maybe it's all just for my own pleasure and something for the daughter to read in a few years time if the forum survives. I have to go to Bangkok next week and then start work the week after, I've been away from home way too much this year already so if I can wrap ( :Smile: ) this up it's one less thing to think about. Besides, I want to concentrate on my dog and cock threads anyway.

First up, a few weeks ago I put up a competition for a owed Green... all these self professed football experts on here and not a single entry...





> But first, a football trivia question. What is the connection between Ubley and Liverpool FC?


Bruce Grobbelaar's wife Debbie came from Ubley and they had a horse drawn carriage down to Ubley church for the wedding. I thought that was easy.

Anyway, some other mystery from the start of our trip... a few weeks later they did indeed harvest the corn but not the surrounding barley from the field down from my mum's house. I have no idea why?



I spent a lot of time trying to get a decent picture of a combine harvester... not only in Somerset but also in Wiltshire and Hampshire when we went down to Portsmouth. I saw a few out there in the fields but there was never anywhere to park to take a pic... so anyway, my favourite song.




Something I really miss about living in Thailand is the compassion shown in the west, whether imagined or real. These kind of signs really cheered me up. Amazingly enough, hedgehogs are in real trouble. What a shame if they went the way of the dodo.



We saw that sign north of Weston-Super-Mare... having the time alone with my daughter and now that she's 11, I talked a bit about the future. I still have property out that way which will hopefully end up with my girl, and as we took a look I showed her the Crematorium just down the road. I was going to put up a competition as to who's resting at this place but after my football failure I didn't bother.

Anyway, Jill Dando was cremated here... a local girl made good and still a murder mystery.

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## DrWilly

> I'd never really thought about that but as Mendip will attest, the biggest fear _by far_ on ships is fire. So here we are in the middle of the ocean on a wooden ship with none of the fire suppressing/fighting systems found on modern steel vessels and throwing buckets of water being your only defence should fire break out, so let's store tons of highly flammable gunpowder deep in her belly. No thank you!


A wooden boat painted in tar for water proofing!

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## Joe 90

You should have had a lovely day trip to Bangor Mendy!

50p to get on the Pier,,  no ice cream sales or arcade machines.
Just free crab fishing..

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## Mendip

Anyway, now that's all cleared up...

I have three main regrets about my pilgrimage. The first was that I never tried the rhubarb cider. Sorry Shutree, it was there to try but as it was I hid my cider in a cold box in the RAV4's boot so my mum didn't have a go at me. I didn't want to start taking flagons of scrumpy back home.



The second was, that I never got a chance to wear my Captain's hat... unfinished business there Reg Dingle.

And the third was that my mum only served up steak and kidney pie once, in nearly five weeks. OK, so she's 86, but even so...

We left Somerset last Monday, took the car back on Sunday, so Saturday was our last proper day.

My mum finally offered up steak and kidney pie for Saturday lunchtime. The pastry was a bit broken but the taste was superb. My daughter's favourite meal in the whole, wide world.

[IMG]https://teakdoor.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=91902&d=1660969986[/.IMG]

Can you believe that my mu hadn't served up lamb for our entire trip? That last weekend we had some serious catching up to do.

What I'd give to have this choice in Korat! 



And get this... there was no suitable lamb shoulder for me, so Walter took out more and butchered it in front of us. Bet ya don't get that in Patters, HW?  :Smile: 



But anyway, the last day of having a car we had a final task.

Across the Mendips to Cheddar for our last ice cream. On the way a lovely Mendip late summer scene... no combine harvester of course.



The final ice creams of the pilgrimage. A Raspberry Ripple underlying a Lemon Curd for me and a Cookies and Cream under a Vanilla Honeycombe for the daughter. Lovely... with fudge sticks. It don't get better than that.



But anyway, before Sunday lamb lunch I had to continue my daughter's education to all things British so we popped into a local curry house.

While we were waiting...



And back home... a chicken tikka masala to ease the daughter into traditional English fare... and a lamb jalfrezi for meself. 

Her education complete!



Our last day... Sunday roast lamb...



And after lunch, while the daughter spent the afternoon cooking up tiffin with her Grandmother...



I could relax...



Luvvly Jubbly!

The next day we were off, the end of our pilgrimage.

After being fleeced by Arrow Taixis... I truly had a couple of surreal experiences which really made me think this had been a pilgrimage...

The first was that someone had left their discarded trolley by the trolley rank outside BRS Terminal... thus saving me £2 that the thieving b@stards claim... to use a trolley to take your luggage to their gates...



The second was that, after sitting on the plane for a few minutes, it started spitting with rain... the first for weeks. How freaky is that... 5 minutes after boarding? We'd had clear blue skies for almost our entire pilgrimage... and it starts raining when we leave. Wow!!!



And the third... a hated Lufthansa plane on the tarmac... they have now agreed to partially recompense me for my disaster journey getting home a couple of months ago. Freaky stuff, but i still won't fly with them again.

Goodbye Somerset until next time. I love to visit you but it will never be home again.



The mum's house, the big oak tree and the river we failed to catch trout in, all visible in this pic.

The end!  :Smile:

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## aging one

A great ending to an epic tale. Thanks.  :Smile:

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## Headworx

> And get this... there was no suitable lamb shoulder for me, so Walter took out more and butchered it in front of us. Bet ya don't get that in Patters, HW?


I wouldn't know mate because there's always lamb shoulder available here including one that's suitable for me  :Dance:

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## Topper

Superb tale, sir!!!!!!!!

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## Mendip

Anyway, now that's all cleared up...

I have three main regrets about my pilgrimage. The first was that I never tried the rhubarb cider. Sorry Shutree, it was there to try but as it was I hid my cider in a cold box in the RAV4's boot so my mum didn't have a go at me. I didn't want to start taking flagons of scrumpy back home.



The second was, that I never got a chance to wear my Captain's hat... unfinished business there Reg Dingle.

And the third was that my mum only served up steak and kidney pie once, in nearly five weeks. OK, so she's 86, but even so...

We left Somerset last Monday, took the car back on Sunday, so Saturday was our last proper day.

My mum finally offered up steak and kidney pie for Saturday lunchtime. The pastry was a bit broken but the taste was superb. My daughter's favourite meal in the whole, wide world.



Can you believe that my mum hadn't served up lamb for our entire trip? That last weekend we had some serious catching up to do.

What I'd give to have this choice in Korat! 



And get this... there was no suitable lamb shoulder for me, so Walter took out more and butchered it in front of us. Bet ya don't get that in Patters, HW?  :Smile: 



But anyway, the last day of having a car we had a final task.

Across the Mendips to Cheddar for our last ice cream. On the way a lovely Mendip late summer scene... no combine harvester of course.



The final ice creams of the pilgrimage. A Raspberry Ripple overlying a Lemon Curd for me and a Cookies and Cream over a Vanilla Honeycombe for the daughter. Lovely... with fudge sticks. It don't get better than that.



But anyway, before Sunday's roast lamb lunch I had to continue my daughter's education in all things British so we popped into a local curry house.

While we were waiting...



And back home... a chicken tikka masala to ease the daughter into traditional English fare... and a lamb jalfrezi for meself. I always go for lamb... either a jalfrezi or a rogan josh.

Her education complete!



Our last day... Sunday roast lamb...



And after lunch, while the daughter spent the afternoon cooking up tiffin with her Grandmother...



I could relax...



Luvvly Jubbly!

The next day we were off, the end of our pilgrimage.

After being fleeced by Arrow Taxis... I truly had a couple of surreal experiences which really made me think this really had been a pilgrimage...

The first was that someone had left their discarded trolley by the trolley rank outside the Bristol Airport Terminal... thus saving me £2 that the thieving b@stards want... to use a trolley to take your luggage to their gates...



The second was that, after sitting on the plane for a few minutes, it started spitting with rain... the first for weeks. How freaky was that... 5 minutes after boarding? We'd had clear blue skies for almost our entire pilgrimage... and it starts raining when we leave. Wow!!!



And the third... a hated Lufthansa plane on the tarmac... they have now agreed to partially recompense me for my disaster journey getting home a couple of months ago. Freaky stuff, but i still won't fly with them again.

Goodbye Somerset until next time. I love to visit you but it will never be home again.



The mum's house, the big oak tree and the river we failed to catch trout in, all visible in this pic. That's why I always book a port side seat when flying out of Bristol.

The end!  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^ Not sure what happened here... I seem to have double post after editing. Mods, the first can be deleted but it doesn't really matter!

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## OhOh

> Nope, the ships had to be self sufficient.


Thank you for your reply.




> The end!


Indeed, Happy Trails.

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## Edmond

> the ships had to be self sufficient.


Some amazing sheet, in terms of food.

Feeding 850 sex-starved men (unless they did a bit of Bendy-Mendy n Dill sausage stonehenge'ing) with 3 square meals a day, men that needed to be kept in fighting shape, for (presumably) months on end.




Shurely they had lots of fishing lines off the bac... stern, right?

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## Mendip

^ What Is the Origin of the Saying "Square Meal"? 

The term square meal is a nautical term from the days of old sailing ships. Any significant meals (usually the last one of the day) would be eaten off a square-shaped wooden plate, which also served as the tray. A decent meal on board became known as a square meal.

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## Edmond

> What Is the Origin of the Saying "Square Meal"?
> 
> The term square meal is a nautical term from the days of old sailing ships. Any significant meals (usually the last one of the day) would be eaten off a square-shaped wooden plate, which also served as the tray. A decent meal on board became known as a square meal.





> What Is the Origin of the Saying "Square Meal"?
> 
> The term square meal is a nautical term from the days of old sailing ships. Any significant meals (usually the last one of the day) would be eaten off a square-shaped wooden plate, which also served as the tray. A decent meal on board became known as a square meal.
> 
> 
> 
> "Square Meal" | Origin and Meaning.


_#doing.a.chitty 


#we.want.originality_

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## Looper

^^^^^Perfect epitaph to the pilgrimage with the patchwork countryside out of the KLM port-hole.

HMS Victory was the highlight for me.



I have been practising some nautical napping techniques thanks to this thread.

Senorita Surabaya asked me what I was going to do with my new rock garden when she saw it was finished. The first idea that popped into my head was a hammock and I suspect the idea was subconsciously conjured from reading about life onboard the Victory.

She then walked over to rummage in the back of her cavernous Tardis-like truck and retrieved this bewt.


It was a surreal experience to go from the nascent spontaneous idea of maybe getting a hammock to actually having one in the space of 30 seconds.

I had forgotten how somnolent the swinging motion is. I reckon those sailors probably slept quite well.

I was on triple-shot macchiato to stop me nodding off today trying to finish the end of Ian McEwans's Machines Like Us

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## Top Cat

Brilliant thread Khun Mendip. Think you missed a trick though. As you stayed at the Vauxhall Travelodge you could have popped into the Oval, fixtures permitting, and introduced your daughter to the glories of County Championship cricket. A steady 3 runs (maximum) per over may have stimulated a life long passion for cricket into her. Alternatively after 2 days watching, and you patiently explaining the finer nuances, the Evening Standard headlines may have read something like: "Pre-Teen Daughter Batters Father to Death in Vauxhall Travelodge".

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## malmomike77

It could all have been so much cheaper and less stressfulllllllll  :Smile: 

Busmans holiday: Cornwall for a fiver

Armed with one of the new rover passes, Phoebe Taplin explores the countys coastline

The feathery tops of the tall Cornish tamarisk hedges are just at eye level. Beyond them, swallows are swooping low over the barley. I can smell wet hay and honeysuckle, feel salty rain on my face and see out of narrow sunken lanes to the endless, wind-whipped sea. Unlike car drivers, winding blindly through the banks and hedges, I get spectacular views up here on the open top deck. And, thanks to a new rover ticket, the journey is a bargain too. The best way to see Cornwall at the moment is by bus.

In April 2022 Cornwall council introduced new fares, including a £5 all-day ticket that offers unlimited travel across the whole county on buses, including several open-toppers, run by any company. The Cornwall day tickets are valid on any bus, anywhere in the county. You could even travel all the way from the Eden Project to Lands End if you wanted to spend four hours each way watching the Cornish scenery from bus windows. I buy my day tickets on the First app, but you can simply get them from the driver.

Hugging the pink-rocked Devon coast, with water often just outside the train window, the railway line to Cornwall is one of the UKs great scenic journeys. People seem to be put off by the idea of being limited if you turn up without a car, but theres a (mostly) fabulous bus network. From St Austell station, the No 27 bus takes 15 minutes to reach YHA Eden Project, where Im staying in a gleaming Airstream caravan with a comfy bed inside and a firepit outside.

Bees are humming round tall crimson thistles and pale spires of toadflax the next morning. This is Pollinator Pathmaker, a new artwork at the Eden Project by Alexandra Daisy Ginsberg, blooming for the first time. Its a garden created expressly for insects. Nearby, more bees range happily over the rock-roses, and wild orchids have seeded themselves in a moth-magnet prairie. Edens massive greenhouse domes, in nearly 30 acres of gardens, still manage to look futuristic two decades after they first opened. In the Mediterranean biome, the air smells of sage and citrus blossom, and three ancient olive trees, lowered into place in 2019, look at home among poppies and love-in-a-mist.

Edens green focus fits well with exploring by public transport. The hourly No 25 bus from St Austell stops near Charlestowns Shipwreck Treasure Museum (£12.50; shipwreckcharlestown.co.uk), a salvaged labyrinth of barnacle-crusted porcelain, jet buttons and barrels of coins. The bus rolls leisurely onwards to Fowey, a small coastal town pronounced to rhyme with joy, and I climb through wild-garlic-pungent woods to St Catherines Castle (free; english-heritage.org.uk).

This is Daphne du Maurier country. The coast path sinks to a water lily lake at Polridmouth Cove, which features in Rebecca; inland, up a wooded track with bursts of purple rhododendron, theres a glimpse of Menabilly, du Mauriers home and the inspiration for Manderley. I stroll down through the woods to the Rashleigh Inn at Polkerris, facing west across water turned gold by late afternoon sun (mains from £15; therashleighinn.co.uk). A local red ale goes well with smoked mackerel and tangy pickled pink onion, but doesnt make it easier to climb over the final cliff into Par.

Buses are great for linear walks  no need to get back to a parked car. The last direct bus to Eden has gone, but later services stop in St Blazey Gate. From here, I follow a sunken lane a mile or so back to my caravan with dappled light falling through high arched beech trees. Its one of the loveliest paths Ive ever walked; if Id called a taxi, I might never have found it.

A holiday by bus doesnt have to mean budget accommodation. Im spending my last couple of nights on the craggier north coast at Watergate Bay Hotel, with its new beach-loft bedrooms and full-size, sea-view pool (B&B doubles from £220; watergatebay.co.uk). Its just a minutes walk from the Phoenix bus stop on the open-topped Atlantic Coaster route between Newquay and Padstow. A massage using salt that smells of rainy herb gardens and orange groves leaves me so relaxed I dont want to move. A few steps away is the new beachside Restaurant Emily Scott, where the six-course tasting menu features local delicacies such as Padstow lobster, gurnard in sea buckthorn and Cornish saffron bun ice cream (£75; emilyscottfood.com).

The next day dawns grey and drizzly, so I opt for an hour-long bus ride through misty green hills to Truro, where the spires of a fine late-Victorian cathedral tower over quays and cobbled alleys. Chatting to a fellow passenger helps me plan the day, which starts with a wander around the Royal Cornwall Museum. Theres an antique coach, an Egyptian mummy and a room full of multicoloured rocks that celebrate Cornish mining: shining ruby-purple cuprite and long crystals of tin ore (£7.50; royalcornwallmuseum.org.uk).

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/a-busmans-holiday-cornwall-for-a-fiver-8lc2crn6n

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## Looper

Epically awesome toober doco on the mighty HMS Victory

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## Looper

It is not labelled as Part 2 but I think this must be part 2 - released 4 days ago

I have not watched it yet but if it is anything like as good as part 1 ye be in for a timber-shivering good time ha haar

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