#  >  > Banal Banter >  >  > The TeakDoor Lounge >  >  > Famous Threads >  >  My post-lockdown commute back to work

## Mendip

Like many others I suspect, I am on a Non O visa based on marriage to a Thai national. I last entered the Kingdom on February 21st and my 90 days were up on May 20th. I guess I should be covered by the amnesty but I never trust anything here until it happens.

I last worked in November 2019... and apart from a trip to Singapore and a couple of trips to Bangkok have been at home in Korat for months... and months. Covid killed my work stone dead... oil price crash and impossible travel. But... of course a wonderful opportunity to spend months of guilt-free time with my wonderful daughter and my pack of lovely street dogs.

But does the money ever disappear fast with nothing coming in and 38 Baht to the pound!

Anyway... with the gradual opening up I've picked up work with a new contractor back on familiar territory in Norway, with a Swedish outfit of all things. After so long off work this is fantastic news for our finances and for my sanity... but as you know, once it's confirmed it'd be nice to get another couple of weeks off... just to get ready!

I have a confirmed flight out of BKK 02:10 Sunday morning, heading to Narvik/Harstad (EVE) to join an offshore survey/construction vessel, and after eight months off it feels weird! This is my last evening in Isaan...

So, first up... get rid of this bladdy thing! My lockdown moustache.... bye bye...



I don't mind looking like a twat walking the dogs around Isaan but next week I'll be talking to people with more on their minds than where the next som tam's coming from, or what the next story line of some shitty soap opera is... I'll be expected to know what I'm about and sound vaguely intelligent... so I at least want to look the part!

There... that's better!



A bit symbolic to be honest... that's lockdown finished with, now out to the big wide world again!

Although of course I'm under no illusion that my 4 to 6 week trip offshore will mean a lot longer duration  away from home than that... I'm expecting a couple of offshore trips out of this work, maybe more... but with the travel restrictions currently in force on entering Thailand I won't be returning home between trips. What's the point when most of the time off would be spent in  quarantine...?  So I'm full of trepidation about this work as well... when will I see my daughter again... maybe next year? Who knows what will happen with this bladdy Covid... second waves... etc etc? What a horrible year.

But... I have to do it, no choice.

 I'm spending my last night at home in Korat as I've spent so many... sitting with the dogs as my daughter plays on Roblox inside. I'm having a few ciders with Ya Dong chasers... and what says it's time to get back to work more than that! I'll try and get a BUS down to Bangkok mid morning tomorrow and to be honest I'm getting a bit melancholy about it all... I'll miss the daughter no end... and I hate starting with new companies on new boats with new people... but it'll be ok I'm sure... and Narvik is in the bladdy Arctic Circle... 8 degrees and raining today! Can't say I'm looking forward to it.

But the dogs take me mind off things... I notice that Yogi, after disgracing himself this morning, is now trying to shag his 14 year old step mother Dan... but she can handle herself.



Anyway, in this Covid 'new normal' world, I thought a thread of air travel may be of interest... to see what's going on and how the visa situation is approached. 

Sunday morning I have BKK - DOH - OSL - EVE, and I'll try and give some idea of how things are (if I stay sober!  :Smile: ).

But for now I have a couple of ciders to finish!

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## SKkin

Good luck to you Mendip in your new ventures. I've enjoyed all your threads you've done while you've been off work.

Cheers.   :Beerchug:

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## Buckaroo Banzai

Wish I could join you. I Just retired less than a year ago . and though money is no problem (two pensions) boredom  is. First few months were great , painted everything that will stand still long enough to be painted. Fixed everything that need to be fixed , and broke much that was  fine. (will fix them soon) 
But with Covid 19 lockdown there just  so much one can do at home. 
Our two mile power walk is the highlight of my day. 
I wish this Covid 19 crap will be over soon so I can travel. I finally got the time, and I am stuck at home. .  GRRRR
I Have to admit. I am envious of you.

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## Mendip

^ I know what you mean BB... but I'm about to spend 6 weeks on a boat working 14 hour shifts every day... I do it because I have to.

But, one positive about Covid lockdown is that it's taught me a lot about myself and I know there's not a chance in hell of me retiring in Korat under my present domestic circumstances... In 14 years here, I've been used to 3 or 4 week periods back home where you can keep busy with necessary jobs and ignore annoyances... you can't do that over several months. It's made me think long and hard about the future as I won't always have me daughter to do stuff with!

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## Buckaroo Banzai

> ^ I know what you mean BB... but I'm about to spend 6 weeks on a boat working 14 hour shifts every day... I do it because I have to.
> 
> But, one positive about Covid lockdown is that it's taught me a lot about myself and I know there's not a chance in hell of me retiring in Korat under my present domestic circumstances... In 14 years here, I've been used to 3 or 4 week periods back home where you can keep busy with necessary jobs and ignore annoyances... you can't do that over several months. It's made me think long and hard about the future as I won't always have me daughter to do stuff with!


I know exactly what you mean. “absence makes the heart grow fonder” . You sound like a younger guy, though in that facial hair I did see a bunch of white, so you are right,   Daughter will get older and have a life of her own, and spending every hour with the wife .... well let's just say is asking for trouble. 
So some ideas about new projects , either private or professional is a good idea.
  I am in the process of getting a Greek passport,as soon as I am allowed, and it is safe to travel there, and buying a small place on a Greek island (my brother is already there) . Near the water, ans fix it up.  Perhaps get a small fishing boat and spend some time with my brother who is ten years older than me (I am 63) and not sure how much longer we will have with each other. On the way back we can stop at the fish market , buy some fish and tell the wive's we caught them. 
   Enjoy your time at work, 14 hours of being challenged is not all that bad.And keep us in the loop, with plenty of pictures and small words ( you know many of us have problems with big words)  so we can live vicariously (big word LOL) trough you.
Chock de   :Smile:

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## Neverna

Good luck and safe travels, Mendip.

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## Edmond

> I'm about to spend 6 weeks on a boat working 14 hour shifts every day.


Easy, buddy. 

Just think of the number of peas at the end of it.

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## happynz

I haven't  seen my daughter in over a year. Thing is is that she's a young adult busy with studies. Your girl is in those wonder years. Tough to miss that time.

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## Mendip

^^^^ Thanks BB... the big picture frightens me at so bad I've fukked up... but the immediate future looks good... I enjoy the work and am looking forward to some Western company.

My dream has always been to live on the coast with a small fishing boat... and I've somehow ended up in Korat where you couldn't get further from the sea! 

Greek Islands... wow... I'll come and visit!

 ^^^^ Absence... I'll certainly miss my three favourite girls!



Easy to tell the Commandant was away tonight! Dan sneaked in to share my last Isaan meal for probably some months...



Yep... steak and kidney pie and chips! The daughter has got all posh since Sukhumvit and wants her beans 'separate'!



It may seem a strange choice for my last Isaan meal but I'm heading to a Norwegian vessel... the Scandinavians don't do meat pies! Can ya believe it...

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## Mendip

> I haven't  seen my daughter in over a year. Thing is is that she's a young adult busy with studies. Your girl is in those wonder years. Tough to miss that time.


We went to the zoo today and had a good chat. The questions thrown at me included...

Why are hiccups called hiccups?
If you're dead do you just see black all the time?
Why don't all 7Elevens have banana milk?
What would we do if we have a zombie apocalypse?
If you're shot in the head do you live for one second?
I bet Den (our dog who was put down a couple of years ago) will be happy to see you when you die!

Wonder years indeed! 

And the questions I had today after Yogi did the deed with Coco!

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## NamPikToot

> In 14 years here, I've been used to 3 or 4 week periods back home where you can keep busy with necessary jobs and ignore annoyances... you can't do that over several months. It's made me think long and hard about the future as I won't always have me daughter to do stuff with!


Mendip,

I am sorely disappointed we didn't get a decorating thread out of you, but i blame Coco for that, dragging you everywhere when you should have had a paint brush in hand.

Its not been wasted time however if its brought some clarity to your long terms thinking, even if its resolved the fact that Korat isn't a long term place to stay post retirement. I don't think i can stay in one place, i plan about 1/2 year in UK ish, some in Thailand some travelling but as BB has said its getting used to that switch from work routine to not having to work is going to be a shock - been working since 16.

^ i miss those questions.  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^ Yeah NPT, it's taught me a lot.

I was a gypsy with offshore work until i hit 40... maybe I should have stayed a gypsy.

But I reckon if you're in the right relationship you can live anywhere... if not the location becomes extremely important.

Financially, I need another 10 years out of my industry to think about retiring... by which time my daughter will be independent (er) and It'll be possible for me to be a bit selfish.

Ten years... fark!

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## Buckaroo Banzai

You guys are killing me with all this great food.
Yesterday it was Tomcat and Macaroni and cheese, now it's you and the meat pies . and they all look sooooo good.
  That's another  problem with the lockdown. all i do is eat all day.  I put on at least 10 lbs. LOL  
I definitely need to make these the meat pies though . Don't yell at me for the sacrilege but a couple of drips of tabasco sauce with them makes my mouth water.

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## tomcat

...safe travels, Mendip...I look forward to a work thread, a travel thread and regular updates about Coco & Co...

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## OhOh

Good luck.

Thanks for your lockdown threads.

Send a post from the runway and take care with those Norwegians.

P.S. During the dark nights some celestial event photos would be nice.

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## NamPikToot

> During the dark nights some celestial event photos would be nice.


OhOh, i don't think Mendip bats that way  :Smile:

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## OhOh

Originally I wrote, "heavenly experiences", but knew some would misunderstand!
 :Smile:

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## Mendip

> Good luck.
> 
> Thanks for your lockdown threads.
> 
> Send a post from the runway and take care with those Norwegians.
> 
> P.S. During the dark nights some celestial event photos would be nice.


The lockdown threads have been my way of staying sane... although maybe that's debatable once I started dressing my dog up in the wife's underwear...

And you'll be out of luck for any celestial events... 24 hours daylight where I'm headed OhOh. Although if the trip goes on long enough...




> OhOh, i don't think Mendip bats that way


You think correctly NPT... but who know's if I get stuck on the boat long enough...

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## Headworx

So that's 3 nights solo in Bangkok to get your OGUK 'aye  :Naughty:

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## AntRobertson

Safe trip / travels!

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## kmart

Safe travels and have a good hitch, Mendip. Look forward to seeing you back on here, September-ish.  ::chitown::

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## nidhogg

Safe travels mendip.  I will miss your slice of life threads.

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## tomcat

> I will miss your slice of life threads.


...I imagine the gardener will, too...

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## jabir

Get on with it, if luck's as good as your posts you have no concerns.
 :Smile:

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## Mendip

> So that's 3 nights solo in Bangkok to get your OGUK 'aye


As Headworx so astutely points out, it does indeed appear as though I'll be getting a couple of nights 'solo' in Bangkok... I don't think you can really count Saturday night as I'm flying out in the early hours of Sunday morning. I won't be wasting any of this valuable time getting a medical at Bumrungrad either... already spent three days getting that a while ago!

My life is pretty much either full-on father or full-on work, with nothing much in between. I like a few days buffer between the two and Bangkok is the prefect place to shake off home life and get mentally prepared for work... and vice versa when I return. 

I guess in theory I could get a taxi down to Swampy from Korat on Saturday evening for my 02:10am flight... but what would be the fun of that!!!  :Smile:   I've got some cider to drink and some pies to eat... and some sleep to catch up on without a howling pack of dogs to keep me awake!

This is a point to point contract, meaning I get paid from the day I leave the house to the day I return, but of course I can't charge for a couple of days on the piss in Bangkok. As part of the 'new normal' this company has already said it will only cover one travel day for mobilisation and one for demobilisation, I guess to avoid any liability associated with Covid related delays. But to be honest that makes no difference in this case as Saturday will be a travel day and I join the boat in Norway on Sunday evening for a full work day. It's only when working in Brazil or West Africa that travel can take a couple of days or so.

Anyway, the dogs came out to see me off this morning!

Poor old Coco doesn't know it but she's a day away from a small procedure at the vets!



But once I dumped my bags down Dan got the hump and disappeared... she knows what this means and will be down in the dumps for a few days. I've got a very strong bond with Dan.



I kept the bags on Coco's side of the gate... last time I dumped my bags down first Yogi, then Tommy and then Max cocked their legs and pissed on them. They marked them in ascending order of seniority, each dog trying to cover the previous one's scent. The bags were drenched and my carry on hasn't smelt quite the same since.

And then my work commute started... 09:45am Thursday. The gardener kindly gave me a lift to the bus station... I couldn't help but mention the length of the grass out back! 

Even Anna was about to say goodbye.



The daughter came for the ride... but was a bit glum and refused to smile. We are very close and will miss each other a lot. She's also had a lot on her mind since witnessing Coco and Yogi disgrace themselves in the garden yesterday... I've had a few awkward questions but think I've got away with it!

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## Headworx

^I think we all know where Yogi picked up that sort of behaviour  :Smile:  

Having done the old fly-out routine about a million times for usually undetermined lengths of time, I take my hat off to guys that are married with kids. Must be 100 times harder to do and to be honest, I probably couldn't do it.

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## aging one

Give your daughter some calls from BKK mate. She is going to miss you terribly. Seriously..

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## Mendip

If I'm not going direct to the airport I tend to get a bus down to  Bangkok... it takes similar time as a taxi and the bus driver doesn't insist on  talking to you. And the bus costs 209 Baht compared to 4000 Baht for a taxi. I  guess a dishonest person could conceivably take the bus and still put a  taxi on expenses. I'd imagine that would pay for an awful lot of cider in the Robin Hood!

This looks familiar... and not a train to be seen!



NakhonChai21 again... good aircon, phone charging points and wifi, enabling threads to be added to on the move...



And social distancing can be marvelous! Two seats for the price of one!



Incidentally, when selecting seats for my Qatar flights it looked as though all the centre seats in the banks of three had been left vacant, presumably for this social distancing. It makes a huge difference in Economy to have an empty seat next to you.

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## OhOh

> I will miss your slice of life threads


His upcoming thread title list are already pencilled in:

"Comments from the land of the perpetual sun."(soon to be a short lived LD favourite)

"Strange goings on from my offshore platform/ship". (Interviews and discreet photos of my fashionable shipmates)

"Norwegians, how they love to pass the time and their strange eating habits" (Tips on cooking Norwegian marine life)

"Passing foreign ships and what I wouldn't do for a decent meal" (More  Norwegian marine life recipes)

"AWOL strategies from my virus infected 24/7 lockdown location 1." (Taking your first helicopter in-command flight and successful storm evasion)

"AWOL strategies from my virus infected 24/7 lockdown location 2."  (Taking your first platform lifeboat drop)

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## Mendip

> ^I think we all know where Yogi picked up that sort of behaviour  
> 
> Having done the old fly-out routine about a million times for usually undetermined lengths of time, I take my hat off to guys that are married with kids. Must be 100 times harder to do and to be honest, I probably couldn't do it.


I'm just gonna ignore your first sentence!

To be honest when you simply have to work it makes it a lot easier... there is no choice. My daughter has known this all her life and she'll bounce back fast. I'll get immersed in the work once offshore and the time will fly. Emails, Skype and the like make things a lot easier these days.

Although having said that, this time is a bit different because I have no idea when it will be possible to return home again... who knows how this Covid 19 will play out.




> Give your daughter some calls from BKK mate. She is going to miss you terribly. Seriously..


Yeah, for sure I will. We get on Skype but of course depending on where I am it can kick off a whole load of questions!

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## jabir

^25

Dogs always seem to know when you're not coming back for a while, or in my case leaving for the last time, very sad, she stood there in the snow watching, wouldn't budge as I walked off up and over the hill, then I couldn't resist my last look at her through some bushes but she was well anchored for several minutes in case I returned; was a case of who moved first and it was me, not happy at all. Then my sister who had her told me she was whining all the way home, didn't eat for the first few days and just sat by the front door trading squeaks and howls.

Went downhill from there till one day she was playing in the garden, jumped for a ball and landed dead.

If you got a dog that's your best mate for life.

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## NamPikToot

^ Agreed, that is sadly why i have not had one in years as i cannot commit to seeing their life out due to work commitments etc.

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## katie23

Good luck and safe travels, Mendip! I'll miss your threads as well.

Btw, I'm surprised at how small your luggage is. To the offshore guys here (past & present) - is that all you regularly take to an offshore place? One backpack & 1 duffel bag?

Re: dogs, yeah, they know when you're leaving. My mom's dogs act all sad when I say goodbye to them (everyrime I leave after a visit-mom stint).

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## NamPikToot

> is that all you regularly take to an offshore place? One backpack & 1 duffel bag?


 :Smile:  Katie, firstly they are blokes with rules on how long between washes you can stretch a set of clothes and secondly there are no black tie events on board, or in some cases ones that warrant a gown.

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## Chico

Mendip have a good trip, I understand what you say about spending time with the kids and then having to leave.

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## Headworx

^^Exactly, and these days uniforms (coveralls etc) are supplied. Plus there's laundry being done every day so it's possible to go months on end with just 2 sets of clothes.

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## Mendip

^^^^ I'm taking more stuff than usual this trip... it's a new boat for me so I have to lug over all my ppe. If I get established on a boat then I can leave stuff onboard to save carrying it back and forth.

^ For me it's generally contractual to bring my own ppe... the contractors get pissed off with freelancers taking it away.

But of course it will be supplied if you have none (or your bag doesn't turn up... etc).

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## Headworx

^That was always the best way to go, get established for long term then be able to travel to/from home with just hand carry.

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## AntRobertson

> The daughter came for the ride... but was a bit glum and refused to smile.


Ahh shame, that's a bit crap.

It's hard to be away from kids.

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## NamPikToot

> Plus there's laundry being done every day so it's possible to go months on end with just 2 sets of clothes.


You blokes don't know you are born, i have had a couple of times where i had two sets of clothes for 3 weeks and no laundry - its not pleasant living with yourself.  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^^^ But as soon as you feel comfortable enough to leave your stuff on a boat... the work ends. Happens time and again, and I must have bags of clothes in the holds of boats all over the place!

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## Mendip

^^ If my bag gets delayed I'll be wearing what I travel in until the next crew change!

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## somtamslap

it's a tough one for sure, but for the greater good, as they say. looking forward to more installments. Are you looking to touch base in the Mendips at any point?

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## Mendip

^ I'm hoping for a second trip after this one and I'd prefer to return back home to Korat between the two... but it all depends on Covid. There would be no point in returning to Thailand, even if possible,  if quarantine was still in place. In that case yeah, a trip back to Somerset would be in order instead.

I'll just have to play it by ear.

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## Shutree

> Although having said that, this time is a bit different because I have no idea when it will be possible to return home again... who knows how this Covid 19 will play out.


First of all, safe travels. Make sure you maintain your social distancing in Bangkok ....

It is a fair question: When will it be possible to return home? What does your contract say if Thailand Immigration is still closed when your time offshore is up?

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## Happy As Larry

> Narvik is in the bladdy Arctic Circle... 8 degrees and raining today! Can't say I'm looking forward to it.


Ah Softie!

I had friends live way up in Vadso for quite  a number of years and loved it. They eventually moved 'down south' to Tromso but they really missed Vadso.

Good luck with the work.

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## NamPikToot

> What does your contract say if Thailand Immigration is still closed when your time offshore is up?


If you provide proof of marriage at a Thai Embassy and get their permission to visit Thailand, have a COVID test that "proves" you don't have it and insurance to cover COVID then you can return to Thailand but have to go through a 2 week quarantine in a Govt approved Hotel is my understanding.

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## Mendip

^^ It's an unknown... but I can't expect a contractor to cover me taking trips to embassies to sort paperwork, get an invitation to Thailand, or to get a Covid test. That would be a quick way to lose repeat work.

If I can't fly seamlessly back to Thailand it'll be the UK... So unless things change drastically for the better in the next few weeks it'll be towards the end of the year until I get home... even if possible then. I don't like thinking about it to be honest!

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## Mendip

^^ Yes NPT, mine as well. That would mean a stopover in Oslo for the embassy and tests... and then have a delayed onward flight. Then there would be insurance issues. And if quarantine was in place then no point anyway.

The last thing I want to do is cause problems for the contractor... there's plenty chasing work just now and living a lot closer than me to Norway.

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## NamPikToot

> it'll be towards the end of the year until I get home..


That's when i am hoping things change too but i have a feeling that unfortunately a second phase of COVID will put paid to this......

^ Its tough, i suppose you could always look at it as an opportunity to build the bank balance back up and just do extra work.

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## Shutree

> If you provide proof of marriage at a Thai Embassy and get their permission to visit Thailand, have a COVID test that "proves" you don't have it and insurance to cover COVID then you can return to Thailand but have to go through a 2 week quarantine in a Govt approved Hotel is my understanding.


So you'd still need to get to an embassy, and so on.

I hope Mendip can get sorted before the Covid second wave arrives. Otherwise we'll get the 'Christmas in UK' thread.

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## NamPikToot

> So you'd still need to get to an embassy, and so on.


Yes as i understand it, but checking the UK embassy site there is nothing on this and it just talks about services when flights resume - Thainess. I cannot see me getting across until next year and given COVID rates climb in the colder months Thailand will shut down entry to any country with significant infection rates then this could be late spring. Oh well.

Sorry Mendip, back to your trip.

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## Mendip

Not at all... it's all relevant.

A second wave in the UK is my nightmare but from what I've seen it would seem inevitable. That could prevent me visiting the UK... or if I did, not being welcome back on a Norwegian boat. 

I have a friend with an apartment in Haugesund, Norway, and I've already sounded him out about using the spare room.

He, incidentally, lives in Samut Prakan and has been unable to return to Thailand since he went offshore in Norway back in February...

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## Mendip

Anyway... I'm not even there yet!

My hotel approaches and I'm hoping for my first pint of Thatchers Gold within the hour.

Off comms...  :Very Happy:

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## armstrong

And most of those hotels that do quarantine are fully booked right now...

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## Headworx

> Sorry Mendip, back to your trip.


Let's not put the cart before the horse here, Y̶o̶g̶i Mendip has a few days in Bangkok first that could make for interesting reading  :Smile:

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## NamPikToot

^ i think he should put himself at our disposal, he should let us direct his itinerary for the next two days  :Smile:

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## katie23

Again, good luck to you & yours, mendip. With this covid thing, most things (jobs, travel) are uncertain.

It's similar circumstances in PI. At the moment, only Filipino citizens are allowed, as well as their spouses & dependents (must provide docs of marriage or having a PI parent at check-in). Diplomats are also allowed, but ordinary tourists aren't. By August, the PI govt will allow those with existing long stay visas to enter (e.g. SRRV or special resident retirees visa, also those with work visa). No issuing of new visas until further notice. 

I've watched a vlog of a British family (8 miles from home) who opted to stay in Siargao Island during the lockdown. They renewed their tourist visas recently. In their vlog, they said that they encountered a German guy who was a long term tourist (wasn't married, but was in a relationship). German guy was at the end of his 3-year stay (foreigners can stay in PI for 3 years with just visa renewals in country, then they have to leave the country before 3-year period is up). German guy was in a dilemma because he needs to leave the country. But if he leaves, it's unknown when he'll be able to come back since the country isn't allowing foreign tourists yet. The immigration officer told the German guy that he could overstay (and pay fines later) or leave the country indefinitely. German guy chose to stay.

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## MarilynMonroe

> We went to the zoo today and had a good chat. The questions thrown at me included...
> 
> Why are hiccups called hiccups?
> If you're dead do you just see black all the time?
> Why don't all 7Elevens have banana milk?
> What would we do if we have a zombie apocalypse?
> If you're shot in the head do you live for one second?
> I bet Den (our dog who was put down a couple of years ago) will be happy to see you when you die!
> 
> ...


Kids, ya gotta love them. Imagine being like that as an adult.. (pointing finger at me). 
I'm sure she'll miss ya like crazy too. 
Best of luck, happy trails.

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## Edmond

Tell her that farts are the ghosts of the animals we eat.

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## Mendip

^ Seems a bit cruel. She spent her first six years believing that ice cream sellers only play music when they've run out of ice cream... and she's never really forgiven me for  telling her that.


The brief hiatus in my commute yesterday started as planned...



But the cider didn't taste quite right... and with a couple of long haul flights coming up I'm taking no risks, so switched to Tiger.

I even made a new friend... and we spent a lot of time wondering how both of these glasses hold the same amount of liquid. I've been missing these highbrow conversations locked down in Isaan!



And then, as things were going nicely, my agent called around 9pm and spoilt it all. He told me the boat I'm due to join is insisting on a Norwegian STCW medical certificate, which I don't have. The OGUK medical has covered all my work for years, including in Norway, but each vessel has it's own rules and it was just a shame they hadn't realised I had no valid medical until this late on. They weren't going to accept my OGUK. 

This put a dampener on the evening as it looked as though I'd have to still fly over but stay in a hotel to get a medical and not join the boat until the the next crew change a week or so later. The company would cover costs but no day rate (a sign of the times). On the off chance I sent a drunken email off to the doc at Bumrungrad and then slowed the drinking down... just in case...

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## Shutree

On the bright side, you survived the first night of your brief hiatus, alone in Bangkok.

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## Mendip

At 7:30am I had an email on my phone saying no problem... come in and  get the medical... a result! But I was wishing I hadn't drunk quite so  much yesterday...

So off I went... Day 2 of my commute to work wasn't really panning out as planned.



For  anyone interested, a Doctor Vatana at Bumrungrad is certified to carry  out the OGUK offshore medical, and as I've now discovered, the Norwegian  STCW offshore medical.

After making an appointment you need to head to Floor 16 of this building.



There were strict social distancing instructions in the lift... but I've always been a rebel at heart!



A nice view from up there...



And not such a nice view... the only difference between the Norwegian and the OGUK medical is that the Norwegians specify a chest X-ray. 



With all the uncertainty surrounding the future of Covid 19 I decided to renew my OGUK medical as well, as I was there, even though it had six months to run (so Headworx spotted that one!). Easy money for Bumrungrad... one set of tests carried out, charge for two certificates. I passed both, and yet again am thankful that the offshore medicals are no-where near as strict as they used to be thanks to the aging industry.

For less that 7000 Baht I'm good for work for another two years, Norway and elsewhere. That would have cost an awful lot more in Norway.

----------


## NamPikToot

^ Result, now back to Suki beer and nosh reviews.  :Smile:

----------


## Chico

> For less that 7000 Baht I'm good for work for another two years, Norway and elsewhere. That would have cost an awful lot more in Norway.


Was supposed to be in Norway last week,but now looks like Sunday,I've just had to do another covid test, to go there,and once I'm there have to take another,paid for by the company i'm going to work for.

----------


## Mendip

^ Seafarers have been given some kind of dispensation from quarantine and stuff provided they go directly to board a vessel on arrival in Norway, but I don't really know what to expect on Sunday. I'm sure they won't be getting a lot of travellers from SE Asia at the moment.

Day 2 of my work commute came back on track. Despite Bumrungrad's scales indicating I've achieved a lifetime peak in body weight I decided that passing two medicals in one day meant I could relax a bit on the diet. And besides, when they weighed me I was wearing a heavy pair of jeans with a pocket full of change from last night.

I returned to the Tiger... not risking the draught cider again, although I'm sure it would have been OK. One problem with cider I've found is that it doesn't mix kindly with other drinks and I've a half bottle of Ya Dong in the room I brought down from Korat. Unhealthy nachos for a late lunch.



And another fine view of this beautiful city... all of this was produced not five miles from where I grew up.



Strangely for me I decided on Thai for dinner, and this street place in an alley immediately before Suk Soi 39 is superb.

A view from Sukhumvit Road...



And the reciprocal view.



It would usually be packed out early evening but the rain must have put people off. The traffic was jammed... I had a silver Toyota trapped next to me for at least 30 minutes while I was eating. Would drive me nuts.

And dinner... larb moo, two other moo dishes and some kind of a som tam. 



The highlights... my favourite larb moo.



And another moo that was superb.



And breakfast to boot!



The food is fantastic and I love eating on the street, watching it all pass by. 

But I wouldn't advise turning up with a full bladder after a belly full of Tiger...



Tomorrow my commute resumes... it's off to Swampy.

----------


## NamPikToot

Early night, early start? safe journey.

----------


## Mendip

^ Early night... late start!


After my brief Bangkok stopover to break up the journey my commute came back on track today, Day 3.

But first a last decent meal in the Robin Hood...



And my last cider for some weeks before I left the hotel...



I arrived at Suvarnabhumi more than 4 hours before the flight time tonight because I had no idea what to expect.

There was no problem crossing the road to the terminal. This at about 21:30 on a Saturday night. The last time I saw the airport this quiet was when I flew in the day after one of the coups.

----------


## Mendip

The departure hall was deserted...





There was a big group of people camped out here...



And they turned out to be a horde of Thai farm workers off to Doha... on my bladdy flight. Somehow I found myself at the back of a huge queue even though the rest of the hall was deserted!



But a lovely Qatar check-in girl saw my plight and waved me through. Check-in took an age due to Covid 19 restrictions. They didn't like the fact I was travelling to a different country than my nationality, but a Seaman's Book and Letter of Guarantee eventually persuaded them to check me in. Thank God.

So off to security and immigration...

This looked hopeful...



The most enjoyable security check for a long time... not a single Chinese to step on my heels and barge me from behind!



And my biggest worry... immigration, was a breeze. Straight through.

A look back into the immigration hall...



I'm on a Non O visa based on marriage and my last entry into Thailand was 21st Feb... my 90 days were up on 20th May, well over two months ago. Despite the amnesty I was still a little concerned... but no need. The immigration guy stamped me out, gave the passport to his superior who then wrote something about Covid... and job done. Less than two minutes from start to finish.

----------


## Mendip

And departures was absolutely deserted... eerily so.







Looks like they're trying to save electricity as well...



Boots was still open for a couple of cheap bottles of water.



And this group of girls were taking business passengers off to the lounges... sadly not me.



The Bill Bentley Pub... shut.



As was my current place of choice, Silom Village.



It was looking like I'd have to break into my emergency Steak and Kidney Pie!



But then found this crappy chicken and rice place...  bladdy horrible it was.

And 130 Baht for a small tin of Leo, the bandits. This cost me over 350 Baht... and I'll still be eating my pie!



About 23 hours until I land at Narvik on Sunday evening... I'll be bloody shagged. And I bet they put me straight on night shift.

----------


## Dillinger

Safe journey mate. Looks very much like my experience 
and  time in KL's deserted  airport with one open restaurant and even the duty frees were shut, after getting there 4 hours early although I wasted a good hour in the Emirates queue instead of Qatar. All look the same those Arabs :Smile: 

Welcome back to Europe



Brrrrrrrrr

----------


## Saint Willy

> About 23 hours until I land at Narvik on Sunday evening... I'll be bloody shagged. And I bet they put me straight on night shift.


Good luck.

----------


## headhunter

another problem with cider IS,dont mix with a vindaloo :kma:

----------


## PlanK

Weird seeing Swampy deserted.

Like Bangkok during Song Kran.  It just doesn't look right.

----------


## tomcat

> It just doesn't look right.


...of course, "look right" is horribly crowded, noisy and expensive...

----------


## Jofrey

Best of luck Mendip.

----------


## Mendip

Thanks for the good wishes guys... I've been here many times before...


If anyone was wondering where you can pick up a 130 Baht small tin of Leo to go with yer dried out chicken and rice... Char Haru is your place.



But to be fair there weren't many choices to get 'Tastes of Thailand'.



Once boarding was complete it was obvious that plenty of social distancing was going on.

There was no-one in the row behind, or the row in front...



And no-one to my right...



And no-one to my left!

----------


## Mendip

The stewardesses were decked out in white disposable biohazard outfits.



And everyone was issued a face shield to wear _in addition_ to your mask. Just when you thought air travel couldn't get any worse...

Surely this ain't gonna be the 'new normal'...



Just as I was settling in I looked down at my feet and couldn't believe me eyes... someone had dropped a 5 Baht coin! Things were looking up, this kind of thing doesn't normally happen to me. Straight in my pocket it went!



And four hours later, with two hours of the flight to go we were woken up for breakfast. I don't know how Qatar can justify their claim to be the '5 Start Airline'... they dish up the same shite as anyone else. And whoever invented chicken sausages should be shot.

But it was nice to see they still use metal cutlery... that spoon went straight into me pocket to join the 5 Baht piece... the first addition to my collection this year!



And then... deserted Doha...







Very few food places are open... but no problem for the well prepared traveller!

One good thing about this social distancing is that you're always assured a neighbouring seat to put your shit on.



Next stop Oslo... I have a feeling that will be a bit closer to the old 'normal'.

----------


## Saint Willy

Red wine on the plane?

----------


## lom

> But it was nice to see they still use metal cutlery... that spoon went straight into me pocket


You are very modest, I'd thought that all three of them were included in the air ticket price  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Next flight all three cos I can get them into my check-in bag when I clear customs at Oslo! I've been caught with a knife and fork in me pocket at security at a transfer before and it was embarrassing!

Although no security at Doha today... to maintain social distancing. Wish I'd known earlier...

^^ Just a bit of red wine... getting my head into work mode...

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^^ Just a bit of red wine... getting my head into work mode...


Ah, no need to get silly, but a little vino to help drop off is nice on flights.

----------


## Mendip

Doha to Oslo... same script. Compulsory face masks and face shields but plenty of social distancing due to the flight being about a quarter full.
No problem getting a bank of seats to yourself.



And into Oslo...



You have to clear your luggage through customs at Oslo before taking an internal flight. I'm now waiting for my last flight, an hour and a half oop north.

Departures... not a face mask to be seen, virtually nothing yo indicate a pandemic apart from a few stickers on the floor...



Must admit that after spending so long continuously in Thailand/Asia it feels very strange to see no-one wearing a face mask. I feel the odd one out wearing mine, the complete opposite of the last few months.

And the queue for security... no social distancing whatsoever. The Norwegians ,love their Spanish holidays... makes you wonder.



And after all my care with masks, hand sanitiser, etc etc, I've just an email saying the vessel wants me to take a Covid test before I board the boat. Bladdy Norwegians... anything outside of their comfort zone.

Apparently Thailand is a red flagged country... and yet a lot of the crew will be from the UK and Sweden!

----------


## lom

> and yet a lot of the crew will be from the UK and Sweden!


Were they not corvid tested?

----------


## Mendip

^ No!

Only me and a guy from Spain will be tested since Thailand and Spain are Norwegian 'red flagged' countries. 

You'd have thought UK would be on the list... well, and Sweden for that matter... but it's a Swedish company...

----------


## cyrille

They have Thailand 'red flagged' but not the UK?

Wow.

----------


## Edmond

The special Covid test for Thai based travelers involves penis swabs.  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> The special Covid test for Thai based travelers involves penis swabs.


And full cavity search.

----------


## Edmond

Have fun Bendy-Mendy.

----------


## tomcat

> And full cavity search.


...of course...who knows what virus lurks in the parts of man?...

----------


## Klondyke

> And full cavity search.


For Ya-baa...

----------


## Mendip

Some nice views on my way north from Oslo...





And finally... Harstad Narvik Airport.



Followed by an hours taxi ride to my destination!





And not a nice view... I walked up the gangway at 18:35... nearly 3 days 14 hours after my commute started from home. Although admittedly I could have shaved some time off the commute if I hadn't gone on the piss in Bangkok for two days!



Home sweet home for the next few weeks. A lovely view from the bridge.

----------


## Mendip

> The special Covid test for Thai based travelers involves penis swabs.


Well... it did involve a little prick!

Once I'd registered on the vessel I ws told to go to my cabin and wait for a Covid test. Only me since I came from Thailand and the guy from Spain... forget about anyone from the disease ridden UK.

I gave some blood from a prick on my finger tip and had to wait 15 minutes... 

At first I thought it was 'C' for Covid... but no, thankfully after all that travel it was 'C' for clear (I guess)!

Whatever the C stands for, the test was negative... thank God.

----------


## Mandaloopy

Safe travels and all the best with the new boats.

----------


## Chittychangchang

Looks like a pregnancy test Mendip, false alarm thankfully,
But not surprisingly considering your lockdown 12 pack.

Hail the Frey Bentos and safe travels, love your threads.

----------


## OhOh

Safely aboard. Do you have to take another test in two weeks?

What is the ship's destination, hopefully not the Gulf of Thailand  :Smile:  and objective?

----------


## aging one

> What is the ship's destination, hopefully not the Gulf of Thailand  and objective?


Read the thread. Damn, shows why you are not taken seriously at all.

----------


## Neverna

> What is the ship's destination, hopefully not the Gulf of Thailand  and objective?


Visiting Snow White in the sea north of Norway ... perhaps.

----------


## Headworx

Mendips ship is underway and you can follow it's location on marinetraffic.com which is always a worry for married guys. "Yes Dear I'm at sea off the coast of Nigeria" but true location is docked in Fortaleza  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ Bladdy hell Nev... yes, we're off to the Snohvit field... or does marine traffic give our destination? I need to seriously check your methods on Coco's thread...

^ Yes, never tell the missus about marinetraffic.com!

----------


## Headworx

> Yes, never tell the missus about marinetraffic.com!


Or let them see your Passport! _Yes Dear I landed in Bangkok early this morning and got the first taxi home_ _from the airport_ *stamp in Passport says arrival 4 days ago though*  :Smile:

----------


## Neverna

> ^^ Bladdy hell Nev... yes, we're off to the Snohvit field... or does marine traffic give our destination? I need to seriously check your methods on Coco's thread...!


Norwegian rhododendron bushes just can't keep their mouths shut. Beautiful bushes, though. Gotta love 'em.

----------


## lom

> does marine traffic give our destination?


It does, no rhododendron bushes involved.

----------


## Neverna

^ Next you'll be saying that Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy don't exist! Heaven forbid!

----------


## nidhogg

> At first I thought it was 'C' for Covid... but no, thankfully after all that travel it was 'C' for clear (I guess)!
> 
> Whatever the C stands for, the test was negative... thank God.


The C stands for control.  If there is no band there it means the test is not working properly.

----------


## OhOh

> not taken seriously


The TD madhouse, seriously?


Which one are you, the prodder, the prodded or the bucket holder who just "follows orders"

----------


## somtamslap

What an amazing commute. 

What a huge transition - out of Isaan and onto that in a couple of days. You've got balls.

It took me two years to stop shaking when I left Isaan.

----------


## Mendip

^ No balls involved... I miss my daughter terribly after a just a few days away from home... and what makes it worse is I have no idea when I'll be able to return to Isaan with the Covid restrictions. I certainly wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be and the first few days at work after so long back in Isaan are horrible, especially on a new boat... new people etc... 

But let's not get maudlin!  :Smile: 

I guess you could argue that even though I'm at work my commute continues to the work site... 

This afternoon we're passing the top of Norway into the Barents Sea.





There's a lounge above the bridge (the Sky Lounge!) where I spent some time this afternoon... great views. I'm on 6 - 6 nights but was awake by midday and have time to pass..



Then I spent an hour fast walking around the helideck. New onboarders aren't allowed to use the gym for the first week in vase of Covid but a helideck walk is nice... good exercise and some solitude... can have a good think about things.

I had a medical in Bangkok just a few days before coming back to work, and the Bumrungrad scales seemed to think I'm 114kg... fully clothed with full pockets mind. I've decided I'm gonna sort that out while I'm here... it's good to have a goal and not just be all about work. I'm hoping to be 10kg lighter when I get off this boat maybe in 6 weeks or so...

The view back to Norway...



And on to the work site...

----------


## Mendip

> Safely aboard. Do you have to take another test in two weeks?
> 
> What is the ship's destination, hopefully not the Gulf of Thailand  and objective?


No more tests that I'm aware of... but there's another crew change at Tromso on Wednesday which seems very odd in times of Covid - I would have thought they'd restrict personnel changes as much as possible. I hope any Brits coming aboard get tested!

Our destination is in the Barents Sea... first some inspection work on an existing field's pipelines (Snohvit) but later on a big seabed mapping project for future infrastructure at a new field, further north. It could take around six weeks just to acquire the data... it's a big development (Wisting).

----------


## armstrong

Ask Nev, she'll know if there's any tests coming up.

----------


## Chittychangchang

Nice one Mendip, all that fresh air and exercise.
Treat it as a health camp, you'll easy shed 10kilos in 6 weeks.

----------


## happynz

^good advice.

----------


## Edmond

6 weeks, get running everyday after you get up (and after a coffee). Without beer you'll sweat that flab off no bother.


Fancy a 6 week 21km (half-marathon) challenge? Can set a time to aim for after a week, then in 6 weeks try to beat it.

----------


## Mendip

^ I don't much like the word 'flab', but have to admit it's probably true.

One thing that this lockdown has shown me is that I need to make a few lifestyle changes before I can ever think of retiring... my bad habits got worse with such a long time spent at home. Regular work trips have always kept things under control before this year.

So, health farm it is. I don't think my knees are up to a half marathon, but certainly a few weeks of healthy eating and good excercise will do me the world of good. 

And no temptations... no beer!!!

----------


## helge

> So, health farm it is.


You'll sweat it off.

Svalbard had close to 21 celsius yesterday


Off topic:
if you locate my old fregat loaded with Soviet gold, don't tell your missus....or mine  :Smile: , but keep in touch

----------


## Chico

Nice to read a calm thread.






> Svalbard had close to 21 celsius yesterday


Trondheim 21 today.

----------


## Mendip

> Off topic:
> if you locate my old fregat loaded with Soviet gold, don't tell your missus....or mine , but keep in touch


Helge, send me the coordinates and I'll let you know how we get on... honest!




> Trondheim 21 today.


Aah, so you're down south then...

----------


## Mendip

Took a couple of quick pics on the way to my midnight meal tonight... a half decent photographer could probably have made something of it.





To be honest I don't like these light nights, I prefer it to get dark... that's the proper way of things.

----------


## tomcat

...good stuff: thanks, Mendip...

----------


## Loy Toy

Great thread mate.

Although you are obviously missing your baby girl it must be a relief to return to normality and as the main family provider.

Be safe and keep these great pictures coming!

----------


## bsnub

Keep it up Mendip! A great thread!

----------


## Edmond

^^^^ Looks like a scene from Interstellar.

----------


## OhOh

> first some inspection work


Presumably using one or more of these:



If so, how does the ROV determine it's actual position when inspecting the pipeline? Is it linked back to the ships GPS position?

What types of "damage' do you find? How far away from the ship can it go?

Presuming the mother ship moves along the pipeline, does the ROV "pilot" control the ships movements?

----------


## Mendip

^ My commute has finished now and this thread should really end... especially if I start getting technical questions!

But anyway, have a bit of spare time tonight I guess...

Yes, we use ROVs to carry out the work. WE have a dedicated survey ROV and a Works ROV on this vessel, depending on the task in hand.

The ship is positioned by GPS and the ROV is positioned by hydroacoustic positioning - a system called HiPAP in this case. This comprises a transducer sticking out of the hull of the vessel which sends out a myriad of sound pulses in separate beams through the water column. These interrogate a transponder on the ROV. The ROV distance from the transducer is determined by the two-way travel time of a sound pulse from ship to ROV and back again, ie from propagation to return. We have already established a very accurate speed of sound through the water column, so that's easy. The angle of the ROV from the HiPAP transducer is established by the relative time each sound pulse takes to return. So with distance and angle, we can position the ROV to within less than a metre accuracy in several hundred metres of water. I hope that makes sense... we regularly measure the conductivity, temperature and salinity of the entire water column to establish a very accurate speed of sound as this can vary a lot. Positioning accuracy reduces in poor weather due to excessive  HiPAP transducer movement, and in sever weather cavitation under the hull can wipe out the signal.

In open water the ship will follow the ROV position, but close to platforms the vessel positioning system takes over in case of a run-off. So I guess yes, the ROV pilot does control the ship's movements in that case (but let's not give them too much credit)... but the bridge has ultimate control for safety.

Damage on pipelines... mainly caused by boulders being dragged by trawling activity, although occasionally a vessel will drop a container etc, or maybe drag an anchor. It is generally very rare to find physical damage on a pipeline. We are also checking for freespans (loss of support by scouring under the pipeline) which can lead to vibration and fatigue, cathodic protection against corrosion, and maybe excessive lateral movement caused by a hot product.

Anyway, as luck would have it while I was having my helideck walk this afternoon the survey ROV was recovered. This is way more advanced than that old thing in your picture above... and is probably amongst the most advanced survey ROVs anywhere. Survey speeds of 2 m/s (4 Kts) no problem, with maintaining stability.







There... what a beast. This is a unique vehicle and as I said, amongst the most advanced civilian survey ROV anywhere, if not the most advanced...




But forget all that nonsense... the best thing that happened during my walk today was this...



And a close-up.... I was reliably informed by the skipper that this was a fin whale, the second largest species on the planet (after the blue whale)!

----------


## katie23

^nice vehicle. Thanks for the pics & stories, mendip. Hope you're adjusting well on board.

Question: are there women in your rig, or is it a pure sausage fest? I know that the maritime industry is still male-dominated. How about oil rigs?

Btw, a job on a ship or oil rig isn't something I want to do, as I prefer being on land. Just curious about how things are in an oil rig... Thanks!

----------


## lom

> Question: are there women in your rig, or is it a pure sausage fest? I know that the maritime industry is still male-dominated. How about oil rigs?


Someone has to do the cooking, laundry, and cleaning Katie.  ::spin::

----------


## Mendip

> Question: are there women in your rig, or is it a pure sausage fest? I know that the maritime industry is still male-dominated. How about oil rigs?


First Katie... this isn't an oil rig, it's a vessel, pure and simple.

Not my pic, but...



There are females onboard... in fact there's bladdy women everywhere. I've never worked on a boat with so many.

I'm working for a Swedish company and these Scandinavians seem quite progressive on this sort of thing... if you can call it that.

There's four girls the survey/processing team and at least one Filipina stewardess/catering. I think there may be a second but she must be on the opposite shift to me and I haven't seen her yet.

----------


## Headworx

> Someone has to do the cooking, laundry, and cleaning Katie.


You forgot the making of sandwiches  :Smile:

----------


## Klondyke

> The ship is positioned by GPS and the ROV is positioned by hydroacoustic positioning - a system called HiPAP in this case.


Interesting knowledge. Mind my intruding in your thread, seeing something similar in actual news, perhaps interesting to you too:

*It became clear when "Chersky" will start to build a gas pipeline*
Sun., July 26, 2020

The "Academician Chersky" pipelayer, The Fortuna barge and support vessels will be able to begin construction of Nord Stream-2 in Danish waters in September. This is reported by the German edition of Die Welt.

"Nothing is happening at the bottom of the Baltic Sea near Bornholm. In July and August, cod spawning takes place in these waters, all works are prohibited for environmental reasons," explains.

"However, in September Russia will be able to start work, because technical restrictions, as it seems, will no longer be," the author of the article writes.


*Chersky's chimney-layer now has a lot of helpers.
*
Recall, on July 6, the Danish Energy Agency (DEA) at the request of Nord Stream 2 AG gave permission of anchored vessels on an unfinished section of the pipeline southeast of Bornholm.

In the new decision, the agency stressed that the remainder of the pipeline passing through Denmark's exclusive economic zone "is outside the area where trawling, anchorages and bottom works are not recommended because of the risk of flooded chemical warfare in the sea."

Previously, the DEA was prohibited from operating pipe-laying vessels without a dynamic positioning system (DPS). It is an integrated control system of the vessel, including steering screws. This allows the vessel to hold position and course without the use of anchors and tugs.

"Academician Chersky", built five years ago, has such a system. But the barge "Fortuna" has a 12-point anchor positioning system. Therefore, until the new DEA permit, the barge on the laying of "Northern Stream-2" at Bornholm could not work.

But now the fleet to complete the pipeline is manned. Ostap Sheremeta and Ivan Sidorenko, the new supply ships of Gazprom Fleet, recently arrived in the Baltic. They are designed, among other things, to provide work for pipelayers. That is, to supply pipes and materials, for duty and support work in the area of work.

Стало понятно, когда "Черский" начнет достраивать газопровод

(perhaps not all exact wording, automatic translated from Russian, my fan club will surely not mind...)

----------


## Shy Guava

My son just did an ROV job offshore Newcastle, Australia salvaging shipping containers. Because of Covid restrictions he had to remain onboard for 5 months before he finally getting back to 14 days quarantine in Thailand. Your ROV looks way cooler than anything he had. I think he said they were 10+ years old which I am guessing would be close to obsolete in that business.




The ship was also dynamically positioned.

Hull 717 - the 717th ship delivered from Davie - YouTube

My apologies for hijacking your thread but it seemed like a couple of members were interested in the mechanics of it so thought the videos might be helpful. I'll butt out now.

----------


## katie23

@lom & headworx - Heh. You can do your own dang laundry & make your own effin sammiches.  :Very Happy:   :Wink:  

@mendip - oops, sorry I thought you worked in a rig, kinda like Deepwater Horizon. Thanks for the reply, good to know that there are females present.

As for the Swedes being progressive, good on them! I think if a woman wants to work on a ship/ rig/ mine/ spaceship, etc then good on her, as long as she's qualified. I remember  a story told to me by an aunt of a friend. This aunt studied engineering in PI in the 1970s. She said her professors told the class: to all the females here, shift to another course/ program because you won't find work afterwards. True enough, after she graduated, no industry would hire her as they only accepted male applicants/ engineers. So she didn't let that depress her - she studied further, obtained a PhD and became a professor. It's good that now, women can enter into more fields if they want to. It's good to have choices. 

Cheers! Take care out there!  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> especially if I start getting technical questions!


Point taken, I apologies. 

As one of the few returning to their old job it's just good to hear of successful return to the harness. One hopes all are as successful.

----------


## helge

> she must be on the opposite shift to me and I haven't seen her yet.


Hopefully she's busy reading up on her pie recipes.

Or is it all 'Pytt i Panna' ?

----------


## Mendip

> My son just did an ROV job offshore Newcastle, Australia salvaging shipping containers. Because of Covid restrictions he had to remain onboard for 5 months before he finally getting back to 14 days quarantine in Thailand. 
> 
> My apologies for hijacking your thread but it seemed like a couple of members were interested in the mechanics of it so thought the videos might be helpful. I'll butt out now.


Please carry on... don't butt out! That was a very long trip, but your son will have a ball in Thailand with five months money in his pocket!

It's been a strange year for offshore work... those at work when lockdown started have had loads of work... and those at home when lockdown started have had none. I was at home.




> Point taken, I apologies. 
> 
> As one of the few returning to their old job it's just good to hear of successful return to the harness. One hopes all are as successful.


Only joking OhOh... please ask away. Just keep it simple!




> Hopefully she's busy reading up on her pie recipes.
> 
> Or is it all 'Pytt i Panna' ?


I saw her today cleaning the stairs. I asked her if she could find me some clothes hangers for the cabin... I completely forgot about pies. I think I'd be very lucky to get a pie on a Norwegian vessel. Plenty of salted cod and kumla though...

----------


## Mendip

The view from my helideck walk was very different today. We were alongside at Tromso for a marine crew change... we'd only been at sea for three days but despite these Covid times these guys don't deviate by a second.



These Norwegians may have awful food but they have some nice scenery!





And then while I was having my walk we sailed again... back to sea for two weeks. There are usually crew changes every other Wednesday.

----------


## OhOh

> please ask away. Just keep it simple!


Okay ....




What are the "social distancing" rules re your "hot bunking" situation? 




> Plenty of salted cod and kumla though


A Norwegian/Swedish Cooking Thread in the offing?




> And then while I was having my walk


How many circuits of the helipad equals 1 km?


 :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Hot bunking is a thing of the past thankfully... but I am sharing a cabin with my back to back... and due to my advanced years he kindly took the top bunk (or was it my weight... I don't know).  He seems quite happy to share with someone from one of Norway's 'Red Covid countries' although he wouldn't shake hands. Everyone seems to bump elbows over here... which is hard to get used to.

A Norwegian/Swedish cooking thread would be a short one indeed... although their foos should be good for my desired weight loss. We've Filipino night cooks so there is some spicy food on offer for the night shift. (And to be fair all of the food is very good on this boat... lots of smoked salmon! Norwegian food has come on lots the last few years as they have travelled away from their _summer huttes_ and braved the big wide world. Most Norwegian families now think nothing of having tacos on a Friday and pizza at the weekend!)

Coincidentally we've been discussing this tonight... the helipad is 21m diameter, and I reckon it's 2 pi r for the circumference, which I make 66m. I walk just inside the perimeter in the interests of safety, so maybe 60m a circuit? I reckon then 17 circuits for a kilometre...

I deliberately don't count the laps as that would spoil my thinking, but 1 hour of fast walk must be about 3 to 4 miles or around 5 to 6.5km.

----------


## headhunter

what a job you have mate,all those females on board,you must do a lot of muff diving as well as all those blow jobs in between.

----------


## Edmond

> Tromso


Cool place. Inside the Arctic Circle.


Have you seen the Northern Lights on your travels?

----------


## David48atTD

^  Aurora borealis in Winter?

*Aurora* would have known that  :Smile: 

---
*

Mendip* ... will this be your first shore leave?

----------


## lom

> Aurora borealis in Winter?


All year round but I guess not visible above the pole circle where there is daylight all 24 hours.

----------


## Edmond

_#headingforthefamousthreadsforum_

----------


## hallelujah

Great thread as per, Mendip.

I wouldn't mind working on a merchant vessel. Not so much on one stuck off the coast of Scandinavia, but I bet those old sea dogs carrying their wares across the world have tales to tell to rival even the longest in the tooth SE Asian expat.

----------


## David48atTD

> All year round but I guess not visible above the pole circle where there is daylight all 24 hours.



Agreed ... BTW, I've never seen it.

My Bucket List isn't expansive ... but it's one I'd like to share with the kids and SWIMBO

----------


## Mendip

> what a job you have mate,all those females on board,you must do a lot of muff diving as well as all those blow jobs in between.


 :Smile: ... yeah right...

The girls are half my age, and I'm back in Europe now!

There's 49 on board out of which 8 are female (a Norwegian girl medic and a Norwegian girl officer came on yesterday). You'd get a better ration at one of Tomcat's parties.

But it's an awful lot more females then usual... nothing like back in the good old days.

----------


## Mendip

> Cool place. Inside the Arctic Circle.
> 
> 
> Have you seen the Northern Lights on your travels?


I've worked on and off in Norway for 30 years, including many winters, but have never seen the Northern Lights... in fact I'm not sure they actually exist.

Or maybe I have seen them but just not been aware of it... and no chance this trip as it's still bright daylight through the night time.

----------


## Mendip

> Great thread as per, Mendip.
> 
> I wouldn't mind working on a merchant vessel. Not so much on one stuck off the coast of Scandinavia, but I bet those old sea dogs carrying their wares across the world have tales to tell to rival even the longest in the tooth SE Asian expat.


There's an awful lot of boredom between port calls for a merchant seaman... and the money ain't good, but yes I bet they have some stories to tell. More so in the old days I reckon, before mass air travel since everyone has been everywhere these days.

----------


## Edmond

> I've worked on and off in Norway for 30 years, including many winters, but have never seen the Northern Lights... in fact I'm not sure they actually exist.


 :Smile: 







> There are females onboard... in fact there's bladdy women everywhere.





> The girls are half my age


Wait a minute, wot?



Are you allowed to put in live streaming shower cams, or is that against company policy?

----------


## Mendip

Today I was offered an extension to my initial four week trip to six weeks, meaning I'd get off the boat on September 9th. I said I'd think about it, so did my walk... You can just see the northern tip of Norway along the horizon, so about 40km away.



Of course I need the money and have no choice so will do the extra two weeks, despite this turning into a pretty shit job already... but ya have to play the game. I probably wouldn't be able to return to Thailand in four weeks anyway. On the plus side September 9th is also the missus' birthday... so it'll save me having to get her a present.

----------


## Mendip

> Are you allowed to put in live streaming shower cams, or is that against company policy?


If you want to watch me have a shower I'll sort it out and fill yer boots... but why not wait a few weeks until I've lost some weight?

----------


## Edmond

...  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> so it'll save me having to get her a present.


Kerry deliver 24/7. I suspect your daughter will expect you to do the honourable thing.

----------


## helge

> I've worked on and off in Norway for 30 years, including many winters, but have never seen the Northern Lights... in fact I'm not sure they actually exist.


They are ..amazing and beautiful. Best seen outside and not through a glass of cider



> the northern tip of Norway


Nordkapp (or maybe Magerøya) the northern 'tip' of Europe. Many scandis has that as a destination. " Been there".
Boring



> On the plus side September 9th is also the missus' birthday... so it'll save me having to get her a present.


Give her a dog. You know you want to  :Smile: 





> all of the food is very good on this boat


Ask for 'Rømmegrøt'. Delicious porridge

"Har du Rømmegrøt?"

Will earn you respect from the Mountain Monkeys






> summer huttes


In Norway they haven't got a word for 'skyscraber'

They say 'hytte på hytte på hytte på hytte på.....

 :Smile: 

They are our most loved brothers and sisters btw

----------


## Chico

> They say 'hytte på hytte på hytte på hytte på


Is that a song. :Smile: 

Only been in Norway a few days,I must say its a lovely peaceful place where I'm staying, bit like country life in the UK going back 30 years ago,hmm i could stay here,though not sure  about the winter, saying that maybe here till November. Yikes :Smile:

----------


## helge

Rent a dingy

Row to the middle of the Fjord and let the melancholic songs, from when your mother was young, roll up the steep mountain sides.








> here till November.

----------


## Chico

was Vera Norwegian :Smile:

----------


## helge

To the good Lord, we all are, Chico

Even you  :Smile: 


Have you been to Låtefossen yet ?

Nice place for an Icecream

----------


## Mendip

> Ask for 'Rømmegrøt'. Delicious porridge
> 
> "Har du Rømmegrøt?"
> 
> Will earn you respect from the Mountain Monkeys


Today is Thursday so we had kumla for dinner (5:30pm... so my breakfast).

The kumla meal is a west coast Norway delicacy comprising doughballs with a piece of bacon fat in the middle (the kumla), boiled potatoes, thick pork sausages, salted mutton and mashed swede (no... not you Helge). Bacon fat is then liberally poured over this... although thankfully that's not compulsory.

The Dumpling Project: Kumla - The Norwegian American

Isaan food doesn't feel so bad after all!






> ... saying that maybe here till November. Yikes


Good... then you can look out for these Northern Lights and stick a pic on this thread for me!

----------


## Chico

Hmm not sure about that brother, My negroid ancestry is African, did you chaps get that far. :Smile:

----------


## Chico

> Good... then you can look out for these Northern Lights and stick a pic on this thread for me!


I hope to see also,if have the chance, though here is one for now. :Smile: 

Mendip, that food you described sounded very British, perhaps they got that from us,whilst on their rape and pillaging raids. :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Mendip, that food you described sounded very British, perhaps that got that from us,whilst on there rape and pillaging raids


Never heard of said delicatesse.

I do however know that the place in Sweden, where they put their hardest criminals is called 'Kumla'.

Is this slang for 'prison food' ?

I'll ask Mendip

----------


## Chico

Helge, are you sure your Norwegian even I've heard of Kumla. :Smile:

----------


## helge

I'm not Norwegian


Are you picking a fight here, eh Paulie ?




 :Smile:

----------


## helge

> even I've heard of Kumla.


So I had to google it

It is Norwegian-American ....food :smiley laughing: 

The worst of two worlds

----------


## Chico

> Have you been to Låtefossen yet ?


Not been anywhere yet only working. :Smile: 

Seems my northern Lights photo has disappeared, did someone switch off the lights :yerman: 

jeez can't post photos now. yikes

----------


## Chittychangchang

Calling a Dane Norwegian is akin to calling a Scotsman English :smiley laughing: 

Wheres the Northern lights pic?
It's on my bucket list! Might have to venture to bony Scotland at the right time of year to view it.
Back on topic..

Good on you Mendip!
A couple of extra weeks = a few extra shed kilos and money in the bank.

I reckon your goal should be 100 kilos or less!

Jeez, I've lost 8kg since lockdown. Turning into a right skinny fucker since the gym shut. Not complaining,  leaner is better as you pass the five zero.

----------


## Saint Willy

> It is Norwegian-American ....food
> 
> The worst of two worlds


 ::doglol::

----------


## Mendip

It's been a slow night tonight... we're working close to the coast, not far from the Melkøya gas terminal close to Hammerfest.

Coco marks the vessel position... Where's Coco? Very close to the northern tip of mainland Europe.



I took a few pics bang on midnight... just because I could. The sun dipped down to the horizon and then started rising again without quite disappearing. That will change in the next couple of weeks.



It's too bleak for me... I much prefer looking at the lush jungles of the tropics.









Peaceful though... sure beats commuting through rush hour traffic. My daily commute now is down three decks from my cabin.

----------


## Chittychangchang

Great pics Mendip, 6 weeks of that and you'll be a healthier  and richer man.

I wouldn't mind 6 weeks of that myself.

----------


## Edmond

I presume the captain has a decent set of binoculars on the bridge, are you allowed to borrow them to have a bit of a gander at what's around while relaxing?

The night sky must be amazing for stargazing during the winter months, I wanna get my telescope on the center of that helipad when it does get pitch black and you've got the Galilean Moons and rings of Saturn above you. 

Quick question, during winter when it is dark, are the decks, helipad etc of the ship kept dark, or are they all lit up with lights due to safety rules etc?

----------


## Mendip

Normally the lights are kept to a minimum or else it would destroy the bridge deck's night vision. There are strict maritime rules about which lights can be displayed when underway, etc. Maybe just navigation lights and side lights. 

If working, there are lights (flag signals in the day time) that indicate a vehicle or diver in the water, thereby indicating limited manoeuvrability. If there's work going on on the back deck, or construction work in conjunction with other vessels then everywhere is lit up like a Christmas tree. In that case there will be safety boats to chase off fishing vessels... or probably migrant vessels these days.

----------


## Edmond

Makes sense. Cheers.

----------


## Headworx

Great thread and pics as always mate, I can't believe you were surprised when your Poster Of The Year trophy arrived in the mail  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Yeah, he's annoyingly decent, isn't he.


Surely there's something we can use to attack him.





> I don't much like the word 'flab'



Great thread Flabby.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Great thread and pics as always mate, I can't believe you were surprised when your Poster Of The Year trophy arrived in the mail


I'm still waiting for my TeakDoor expenses though... these threads ain't cheap to put together.





> Surely there's something we can use to attack him.
> 
> Great thread Flabby.


Ouch... that hurts!

Get in yer insults while you can... another 4 miles today. 

That 'flab' will be dropping off...

----------


## baldrick

nice thread mendip

good to hear you are back in work - it is a hard time to be out of work , so best just take what you can get and make the best of it

I am currently doing a job which years ago used to be a joke amongst those of my trade as the worst job in Australia - but I am getting paid , so right now it is a good job

have you got a gym - with exercise bicycles ?  you could be photographing the seats for the TD tribe and offering olfactory reviews

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah... this Covid has knocked the industry for six. For me it's all about not cutting into savings too much and staying current.

I've been lucky to get this work, and if I get a second trip out of it this year it should just about cover the years expenses and salvage the year. This is a new upcoming company and it won't do any harm to get a foot in the door - sometimes a forced change can lead to good things.

There is a good gym (with huge windows looking out to sea) but new onboarders have to wait a week until they can use it due to Covid. We also have to eat on separate tables in the mess. Though now that I'm used to it I think I'll probably continue to use the helideck for excercise so long as the weather stays good - I enjoy the solitude.

I'll take a pic of the gym tomorrow... including bicycle seats!

----------


## katie23

Thanks again for the pics & stories, mendip. 

Have you considered doing a vlog/ YouTube?  I've seen some vids of Filipino mariners - a day in the life type of vids, and I found them interesting. You don't have to upload daily - maybe just weekly? If you don't want to show your face, you can just do narrations or voiceovers (like this guy in Bacolod city, Asia@night). Re: colleagues, if they don't want their faces shown, then you can blur them out. But, I don't know if there are privacy/ confidentiality issues re: your work. From the vids I've seen of Filipino mariners, seems there weren't issues with showing the engine room or their quarters.

It could give you something to do during your downtime. You'll probably have 20 subscribers from TD! And if you do it, your daughter could say, my dad is a Youtuber!  :Very Happy: 

Cheers and safe sailing!

----------


## OhOh

> your daughter could say, my dad is a Youtuber!


I suspect all her friends and their friends .... are already aware of her dad's ***** status as a web celebrity.

Her local stores already have posters on their walls and she's touting for national sponsors. She'll tell dad once the royalty cheques start rolling in.

Her dad will be able to stop work and create more blogs

 :Smile: 

Update:

Enquiries from Scandinavian Offshore Equipments Manufacturers and Offshore Clothing manufacturers arrived yesterday.

----------


## Edmond

> another 4 miles today. 
> 
> That 'flab' will be dropping off...


 :tumbs:  

Good stuff.

And damn good view. Bet that air is fresh.

What sort of daytime temps are you looking at that far north?

----------


## Saint Willy

well, he's wearing short sleeves, so I am betting 10-20 degrees C. (at this time of year)

----------


## Edmond

Decided to not be so lazy and put Tromso weather into googen. 

13c there, so presumably not too much cooler than that.

----------


## cyrille

> I am betting 10-20 degrees C.


Lower end of that, I'd say.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Lower end of that, I'd say.





> Decided to not be so lazy and put Tromso weather into googen. 
> 
> 13c there, so presumably not too much cooler than that.


nicely done.

----------


## Edmond

Plus it's only 10am there. 

18c listed for Sunday and Monday.

Damn fine weather considering it's inside the arctic circle.

----------


## katie23

@edmond - 13 C is sweater (UK jumper) weather for me. Brrr. 

@ohoh - the 11 y.o. son of one of my colleagues wants to be a Youtuber when he grows up. Apparently it's now a career to aspire to.  :Very Happy: 

Btw, not to disparage Youtubers - some can make it big. A YT gamer/ live streamer here in PI has financed a house+lot using his YT earnings.

The travel couple, Kara & Nate, is said to earn thousands of $$ per month from their vlogs. It's enough to finance their lifestyle. 

One can know the approx amount that a YT channel earns by going to socialblade dot com. 

For a YT channel to be monetized, I've heard that it needs at least 1,000 subscribers & 4,000 watch-hours.

@mendip - better start making those vids!  :Very Happy:

----------


## Headworx

> 13 C is sweater (UK jumper) weather for me. Brrr.


Not sure if you'll get the humour in this KT, Mendip will though and hopefully it'll give him a smile when he next logs on to forget about work for a while  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> @ohoh - the 11 y.o. son of one of my colleagues wants to be a Youtuber when he grows up. Apparently it's now a career to aspire to.


My daughter had the same ambition, unfortunately she changes career paths too frequently.  :Smile: 

My sons however all have/had solid careers, until earlier this year.

----------


## Mendip

> Thanks again for the pics & stories, mendip. 
> 
> Have you considered doing a vlog/ YouTube?
> 
> It could give you something to do during your downtime. You'll probably have 20 subscribers from TD! And if you do it, your daughter could say, my dad is a Youtuber! 
> 
> Cheers and safe sailing!



I'm way ahead of you Katie... I'm already a Youtuber and my best video has had 72 views in just two years, although to be honest around 30 of them were probably me.

Despite the popularity I see no checks rolling in...








> I suspect all her friends and their friends .... are already aware of her dad's ***** status as a web celebrity.
> 
> Her local stores already have posters on their walls and she's touting for national sponsors. She'll tell dad once the royalty cheques start rolling in.
> 
> Her dad will be able to stop work and create more blogs


In actual fact OhOh I think my daughter keeps quiet about our Youtube videos!

----------


## Mendip

> Good stuff.
> 
> And damn good view. Bet that air is fresh.
> 
> What sort of daytime temps are you looking at that far north?






> well, he's wearing short sleeves, so I am betting 10-20 degrees C. (at this time of year)



When we were alongside in Tromso mid week it was around 20  degrees... lovely for Norway. 

The sun is hot due to such clear air, but it's all about getting out of the easterly wind... no chance of that on the helideck of course and I reckon it's been about 13 to 16 degrees up to now. Today was cloudy and I needed a fleece (a cardigan would have been better!), but I still did my hour of circuits. I start shift at 6pm so do my walk around 3pm which is probably the warmest time of the day. 

By Sunday I'll have completed my week's Covid restrictions and will be allowed in the gym...



But I think I'll stick to the helideck while the weather is so good.

Today while up there I was startled by a loud noise of rushing air... looked around and there was another fin whale passing by. The noise of air blowing out of their blowholes is tremendous and gives a real indication of how big these animals are. No photos sadly... but keeping a lookout for whales while walking round and round the helideck makes the time pass really quickly.

----------


## katie23

^nice gym, mendip

You're already a Youtuber! That vid was pure blackness - I didn't quite know what to expect. Maybe a quick jump scare scene?!  :Very Happy: 

Re: becoming a famous Youtuber, you should start your vids with: Hi guys, welcome to my channel! Today I'll show you/ Today I'm gonna do...

And then end it with: don't forget to comment, like, share & subscribe!  :Very Happy: 

@headworx - we also use the word cardigan here, but it refers to a V-necked, buttoned sweater. Sometimes for ladies' versions, there are no buttons. I've watched some UK vloggers (Travel Beans) and the lady wore dungarees - I would call that a jumper here.

The one that Mark Zuckerberg wears - I would call that a hoodie or sweater (with hood). I think the UK term for that is jumper? Words!!!  :Very Happy: 

Cheers everyone & happy Sunday!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Today while up there I was startled by a loud noise of rushing air... looked around and there was another fin whale passing by. The noise of air blowing out of their blowholes is tremendous and gives a real indication of how big these animals are. No photos sadly... but keeping a lookout for whales while walking round and round the helideck makes the time pass really quickly.


Magic times. 

I recall the first time I saw a humpback, no photo (no time) - but magical nonetheless.

----------


## Headworx

Mendip about the Whale spotting, do you have an MMO or is Norway clever enough to not make having one of those oxygen thieves aboard mandatory?

----------


## Mendip

^ Thankfully no... I've never known one onboard a Norwegian vessel.

I once worked off the west coast of Ireland when we were forced to carry a couple of these MMOs... to cover 24 hours. If they saw a hint of a fin within 200m of the vessel all work had to stop and the ROV was recovered to deck for at least an hour I think, or something like that. They weren't the most popular people onboard. I think it is Client driven and that job was for Shell... obviously trying to advertise its 'green' leanings.

I guess it would be a bit hypocritical for a Norwegian client to stop work to let a whale pass by... only for another boat to chase it with a harpoon.


HW... I seem to remember you once accused geos of being oxygen thieves... which I couldn't possibly agree with. 

As for the MMOs I'm in full agreement!  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

^I've known/know/worked with many really good Geo's, including being on the same team as 2 SEG Presidents over the years. There's definitely some good ones, unlike MMO's who are all arse-wipes  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

The weather's changed and it's clouded over... was 11 degrees for my helideck walk today and now I wear a fleece over my gym stuff. 

The grip on the aluminium helideck is vicious and the biggest problem I see with keeping up the exercise for six weeks is my footwear. Every day another piece of the sole of my trainers breaks off on the deck and I can't see them staying the course.

But anyway, back on topic... my commute. I showed the big commute which in normal times I do every 4 to 6 weeks... it's knackering and I could do without it. But once at work the ease of my daily commute more than makes up for it. This will be my daily commute for the next few weeks...

I leave my cabin before shift... a quick check round to ensure no skid marks in the toilet and no crusty tissues by the bunk! I'm sharing a cabin this trip and ya have to respect your oppo!



I exit the cabin and take a sharp left and left again... (the open door opposite is another cabin)



Then head to the stairway (straight past the lift... not this trip!)



Then down the stairway from B Deck (my cabin) to A Deck...



Then down the stairway from A Deck to the Main Deck!



Once at Main Deck, through to the coffee machine area...



And a quick stop off to fill my cup...



And this is where it gets interesting... from the coffee machine I can go left past the conference room...



Or right through a few other offices (which I did today)...



Through the 'Online Room', where the surveyors sit...



And there we are... my work station waiting for me in the corner!



A three minute commute... and I could shave a minute off by using the lift! No rush hour traffic, no searching for a parking space and no getting wet if it's raining.

It don't get better than that!

----------


## ootai

Mendip
As always I enjoy your threads and posts on here BUT I think you are going to have to stay where you are forever as since you went there I don't have to logon to be able to see your pictures! Yahoo!
I went to Korat a couple of days ago and i can tell you it is still the same as you left it so you ain't missing anything, except your daughter.
I used to live and work on the eastern side of Australia and my daughter went to boarding school in Perth so I know what you are experiencing.
Just keep in mind you will really appreciate her when you next see her, she will be spoiled even more than she was while you were home.

While I was in Korat I ran into a guy that I have played golf with before and he said that the courses are open again (Tiger for sure anyway) and so maybe we could get together for a hit whenever you return to these parts.

I was wondering what happens in a work environment like yours if you get an arsehole that you have to work with?

----------


## armstrong

Those cabins don't look as bad as I imagined.

----------


## cyrille

My work computer screen being visible from the doorway would be a deal breaker.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Hugh Cow

> nice thread mendip
> 
> good to hear you are back in work - it is a hard time to be out of work , so best just take what you can get and make the best of it
> 
> *I am currently doing a job which years ago used to be a joke amongst those of my trade as the worst job in Australia - but I am getting paid , so right now it is a good job
> *
> have you got a gym - with exercise bicycles ?  you could be photographing the seats for the TD tribe and offering olfactory reviews


Perchance are you Terrys new septic tank cleaner in W.A?

----------


## Hugh Cow

Good Luck Mendip. An addition to the coffers will make you feel better.

----------


## bsnub

> My work computer screen being visible from the doorway would be a deal breaker.


Makes it hard to surf the web all day eh slacker?  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> my trainers


In September these will be mandatory:

Kellys deliver to the ship?






> I leave my cabin before shift


Your oppo keeps a clean cabin. Except for the untidy floor mat.




> Those cabins don't look as bad as I imagined.


The mixed cabins have better doilies and makeup mirrors.

----------


## Bettyboo

> My work computer screen being visible from the doorway would be a deal breaker.


Wanker...

----------


## Bettyboo

Nice thread.

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> As always I enjoy your threads and posts on here BUT I think you are going to have to stay where you are forever as since you went there I don't have to logon to be able to see your pictures! 
> 
> While I was in Korat I ran into a guy that I have played golf with before and he said that the courses are open again (Tiger for sure anyway) and so maybe we could get together for a hit whenever you return to these parts.
> 
> I was wondering what happens in a work environment like yours if you get an arsehole that you have to work with?


Ootai... I discovered some privacy settings in the TeakDoor software and now everyone can see the pics! I thought it may help advertise the next street litter needing homes.

Golf... I'll think about it. Like I said my slice killed my game dead nine years ago and I got the hump with it, but maybe I should try again...

Yes... the occasional arsehole does turn up but hopefully my new found colleagues aren't thinking this... Any conflict can really effect the atmosphere of a spread so usually these people are weeded out very quickly and not employed. Of course occasionally it is unavoidable and for me, if there is someone I know I will conflict with, I generally manipulate the shifts so I'm opposite. Its strange but nine times out of ten if someone is bugging you, you later find out that the same person bugs everyone. It just takes a while to confide in people when you freelance and are constantly turning up on new boats with new people and are always the 'new' person.

Lucky for me I'm really nice and everyone likes me!  :Smile: 





> Those cabins don't look as bad as I imagined.


It's a bit small but OK. There's not many sharing cabins on this boat but as I was the new freelancer I got the short straw. So long as the cabin is clean and quiet that's really all I care about... it's only for sleeping in.




> My work computer screen being visible from the doorway would be a deal breaker.


Yes, it's certainly not ideal but at least the gardener isn't onboard to sneak up behind me!

----------


## Mendip

But right now I have more pressing problems than my work station set up...

Another chunk fell off the sole of my right trainer today... the grip on the helideck is brutal...



The entire sole is now starting to detach itself as well.

This is a bladdy disaster as I'm only one week into a six week trip... maybe seven... and no way will my trainers last. 

I'll find the tech tonight and see if he has any decent glue but I can't see see them lasting more than another couple of days...

----------


## Mendip

Bladdy hell...


*Coronavirus: Dozens test positive for Covid-19 on Norwegian cruise ship*



*At least 41 passengers and crew on a Norwegian cruise ship have tested positive for Covid-19, officials say.
*
Hundreds more passengers who travelled on the MS Roald Amundsen are in quarantine and awaiting test results, the company that owns the ship said.
The ship, which belongs to the Norwegian firm Hurtigruten, docked in the port of Tromso in northern Norway on Friday.

Coronavirus: Dozens test positive for Covid-19 on Norwegian cruise ship - BBC News


We port called in Tromsø on Wednesday, two days before this cruise ship, so I guess that was lucky. 

Norway has managed Covid very well up to now, but judging from the complete lack of social distancing and mask wearing I witnessed at the two Norwegian airports I transited through ten days ago, I fear the worst...

----------


## OhOh

> I witnessed at the two Norwegian airports I transited through ten days ago, I fear the worst...


_"The MS Roald Amundsen had been on a week-long voyage to Svalbard in the Arctic,"

__Coronavirus: Dozens test positive for Covid-19 on Norwegian cruise ship - BBC News

_Thor was looking out for you.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Bladdy hell...
> 
> 
> *Coronavirus: Dozens test positive for Covid-19 on Norwegian cruise ship*
> 
> 
> 
> *At least 41 passengers and crew on a Norwegian cruise ship have tested positive for Covid-19, officials say.
> *
> ...


who the fuck is still going on cruises now? 

and correction Norway was lucky until now, not managing it well

----------


## Hugh Cow

Just sail over to Sydney. They'll be happy to let them disembark there.

----------


## Edmond

> who the fuck is still going on cruises now?


To be fair, they probably do cost a tenner Full-Board.  :Smile: 

Probably Americans.


I was chatting to some of Jof's ilk in Ireland last week, they're not happy that the country is open for tourists from the States. In their words '_We didn't just spend 4 months locked up at home, for fucking 200Kg Mary-Lou from Texas and 5 of her cousins to fly in and prance around our shops and restaurants pawing and sneezing'._

----------


## nidhogg

> Those cabins don't look as bad as I imagined.


Yeah - quite different to what I imagined - and very, very different to the ships I visited when my dad was serving in the Royal navy!!!!

----------


## Mendip

^ Nid... the days of the open bridge are long gone! 

A view of my helideck from this bridge...



One of the nice things about working in Norway is the standard of the boats and living quarters. They're all purpose built and a far cry from the converted trawlers I started working on 30 years ago with four man cabins and communal showers.

The day room on this boat... I wouldn't mind a couple of these sofas at home, they're a lot nicer than what I've got.



And the mess. A meal is served every six hours.





There's always cold cuts available for a snack, and being a Norwegian boat smoked salmon is plentiful. In the mess there's always a bowl of these kind of seed bars which I'm fast becoming addicted to... but they just have to be good for you. I have this for a snack most nights around 4am instead of breakfast at the end of my shift at 6am. Surely I'm gonna lose weight this trip!

----------


## armstrong

Do you get much time to socialise?  Watch football on the TV etc?

----------


## Mendip

^ To be honest I've lost interest in football since Bristol City ballsed up the season and sacked their manager. 

These boats used to be very social with a movie on at the end of shifts and card games during times of bad weather. These days every cabin has a TV and most vessels have wifi. Everyone just disappears and does their own thing at the end of shift and there's very little socialising. Shame really... but I disappear off to my cabin as well!


This is what the sea looks like at 73 degrees north, 300km north of the Norwegian coast... probably the furthest north I've ever been and definitely the furthest north I've ever worked.

This is at the Wisting Field. In a few years time there will be a great big FPSO floating on this same piece of sea and there'll be all manner of infrastructure on the seabed, 400m down. I'm hoping this bit of seabed will produce enough work to keep me going this year.



I had company on my walk today...



Though judging from the state of the helideck I don't reckon these are alone.



Didn't take long to find the culprits... you're rarely alone on a boat. These seagulls are living in hope that we're a fishing boat... eventually the disappointment will hit them and they'll fly off.



And cormorants as well... constantly diving so I guess there must be a lot of small fish about.



These seagulls and cormorants are incredibly hardy and live at sea all the time apart from once a year, when they go back to land to nest. It must be pretty chilly even with this nice weather but in the winter it'll be storm after storm and dark 24 hours a day. Not much of a life... maybe life in Isaan isn't so bad after all.

----------


## Headworx

Did you work up a get-around for your runners? That helideck will make mince out of any shoes soles by the look of it!

----------


## Edmond

Gonna look the biz on his next deployment.

----------


## tomcat

> ^ Nid... the days of the open bridge are long gone! 
> 
> A view of my helideck from this bridge...
> 
> 
> 
> One of the nice things about working in Norway is the standard of the boats and living quarters. They're all purpose built and a far cry from the converted trawlers I started working on 30 years ago with four man cabins and communal showers.
> 
> The day room on this boat... I wouldn't mind a couple of these sofas at home, they're a lot nicer than what I've got.
> ...


...quite a difference from my experience on the old Saudi Training rig DP2: we had a small dining area for non-Muslim staff where we could enjoy such delicacies as pink tuna (canned Danish hams from Bahrain) prepared by Indian Christian cook staff. Those who actually got their hands dirty on the rig (Saudi Shias mostly) had nightly biryani with large chunks of mutton. Like you, I also walked around the helipad for exercise as the room set aside for that purpose had exactly one exercise bike and old vids. The nightly highlight, however, was climbing to the top of the rig and shining the huge spotlight onto the Gulf: all manner of marine life would suddenly appear and sharks would have a feast...

----------


## Mendip

> Did you work up a get-around for your runners? That helideck will make mince out of any shoes soles by the look of it!


I've a big problem with my trainers... it's not just the soles getting chewed to bits but also they are detaching themselves. I've noticed before living in Thailand that you can put on a seemingly new pair of shoes, but if they've been shelved in the house for any length of time the heat and humidity has knackered the glue and they fall apart. These trainers have hardly been worn but were left in our laundry room for months... and are now falling apart. I've got the ROV boys on to it and they're mixing up some strong glue, but the trainers ain't gonna last another five weeks. I'll save them just for the gym when we have bad weather.

In the meantime I've been wearing my Merrell sandals that I usually wear just on shift. I have to go for the socks with sandals look, but these are desperate times!



These sandals have rock hard soles and I'm hoping they'll last a while.



And as I look at that pic I realise I've got a shit encrusted seagull feather stuck to the sole!






> Gonna look the biz on his next deployment.


I could maybe get the ROV boys to knock me up a set of those things! Problem is we've got bad weather forecast and they tend to string a net across the helideck once that happens... could be a real problem wearing those blades then!

----------


## Edmond

You could also take an extra spring and end up doing a 350 meter arc into the Arctic ocean.

----------


## somtamslap

Thanks for the continued updates, Mendip, a real education for a landlubber like myself. 

How long will you be at sea?

The lack of a frosty lager or two of an evening is the standout negative for me - otherwise it looks like a decent gig (which no doubt pays a decent wage).

----------


## Headworx

> I've a big problem with my trainers... it's not just the soles getting chewed to bits but also they are detaching themselves. I've noticed before living in Thailand that you can put on a seemingly new pair of shoes, _but if they've been shelved in the house for any length of time the heat and humidity has knackered the glue and they fall apart._


Have had exactly the same thing happen more than once when in the middle of nowhere and replacements can't be easily sourced, especially in the Far East and they're size 12 or 13! Too late now mate but for future reference, get the soles stitched on even if everything looks good. Problem solved.

----------


## lom

> get the soles stitched on even if everything looks good


I'd buy and bring with me a spare pair. 
Sooner or later he spares will come to use, then it is time to buy another pair.

----------


## reinvented

^^^^
Yuup lost two pair of adidas Trimm Trabs that way
impossible to replace
had one crumble on me at the airport, spent a week in brogues

----------


## Chico

Mendip, you are so right about the food over here. Was in Trondheim yesterday and was amazed at some of the food Norwegians eat,not healthy at all.

----------


## Edmond

> Was in Trondheim yesterday


Would be great to have a travel thread, or some photo posts added to this one.  :Yup:   :tumbs:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Would be great to have a travel thread, or some photo posts added to this one.


 :rofl: 

Won't happen.

----------


## Mendip

> Thanks for the continued updates, Mendip, a real education for a landlubber like myself. 
> 
> How long will you be at sea?
> 
> The lack of a frosty lager or two of an evening is the standout negative for me - otherwise it looks like a decent gig (which no doubt pays a decent wage).


This trip will be at least 6 weeks... but if they have work for me I'll probably stay longer, A lot will depend on the Covid situation mid September and whether it's possible to get back home.

Strangely the lack of alcohol is a good point for me. I'm sure I drink more than is healthy when I'm home, pretty much every day to be honest, and a few weeks with no booze has to be good, and also reminds me that I can do it no problem. There is zero tolerance to alcohol and drugs offshore and the ever present possibility of random testing. I don't even bother going ashore during port calls any more... like driving these days I find it easier not to touch any alcohol at all. It's surprising but once in the work environment I don't even think about it.






> Have had exactly the same thing happen more than once when in the middle of nowhere and replacements can't be easily sourced, especially in the Far East and they're size 12 or 13! Too late now mate but for future reference, get the soles stitched on even if everything looks good. Problem solved. 
> 
> Good advice, thanks HW. Getting stuff like that dome in Thailand is easy and cheap. I've had more shoes than I can remember fall apart on flights, at airports and on the rare occasion I go out somewhere posh. At my daughter's 'graduation ceremony' (from Kindergarten to Primary!!! ) I was sitting at the bar with a few well to do parents and the sole of my black funeral shoes just fell off with a clunk... I'd only worn them once before at my dad's funeral. That was embarrassing.


Good advice, thanks HW I'll do that. Getting stuff like that done in Thailand is easy and cheap. I've had more shoes than I can remember fall apart on flights, at airports and on the rare occasion I go out somewhere posh. At my daughter's 'graduation ceremony' (from Kindergarten to Primary!!!  :Smile: ) I was sitting at the bar with a few well to do Korat parents and the sole of one of my black funeral shoes just fell off with a clunk... I'd only worn them once before at my dad's funeral. That was embarrassing... had to spend the rest of the night with just the upper flapping around on the top of my foot.





> I'd buy and bring with me a spare pair. 
> Sooner or later he spares will come to use, then it is time to buy another pair.


There speaks a very well organised man!

----------


## helge

Where's me fusking frigate ?

(btw, do you know of the Siamese Algae Eater Care Guide: Size, Tank Mates and More... - Fishkeeping World )

----------


## Mendip

^ We're still looking for your frigate Helge, you'll be the first to know when we find it.... honest!

And no, I wasn't aware of that site... I'll have a look when I get time. My fish haven't been on my mind lately, in fact Isaan feels a world away.

By the way, I was thinking of you at dinner tonight...


The seagulls are taking over my helideck - it was mobbed this afternoon...



And it looks like the skipper's getting pissed off with them as well! I only did 45 minutes today and had to finish early...



Buggers... they'll be back!



And meanwhile the ROV just keeps on going... we're surveying a route for a 240km long pipeline now, to export gas from the new Wisting Field. Plenty of scope to find Helge's frigate!



And dinner tonight...

Come rain or shine, worldwide contagion or exploding ports, if you're on a Norwegian boat Thursday night is kumla night. A west coast of Norway speciality... doughballs, potatoes, mashed swede, pork sausage and my favourite bit... salted and cured mutton. I actually quite like it... but a bit heavy for breakfast! Only half a potato and half a doughball for me and I declined the traditional covering of bacon fat.

----------


## Loy Toy

Would it be not possible to tow a small platform craft for the seagulls to land on? Maybe place some lure on it?

Keep your helideck clean........

----------


## Saint Willy

That'll just encourage them to bring their friends!

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah... I think the seagulls will go where they like...

We're having absolutely amazing weather for the Barents Sea... about 150km north of Norway.

These were taken at 12:30 am facing different directions.







There's a trainee onboard who's been feeling a bit queasy with the swell (what swell!)... she has a real shock coming.

----------


## Edmond

^ fantastic shots, especially the last one.  :Yup:

----------


## Saint Willy

great pics. 






> There's a trainee onboard who's been feeling a bit queasy with the swell (what swell!)... she has a real shock coming.



 :rofl: 

It looks flat!

----------


## Headworx

> There's a trainee onboard who's been feeling a bit queasy with the swell (what swell!)... she has a real shock coming.


Oldest gag in the book of course but tell her you know a sure-fire way to stop sea sickness, sit under a tree  :Smile: 

Have you also found that girls are way more likely to get sea sick then men? One thing's for sure, is if someone who's never been to sea thinks they'll get sick onboard they normally  will.

----------


## Mendip

^ I had another suggestion in mind to cure seasickness... but it was inappropriate and I would have probably lost my job. You gotta remember where you are at times!

Yes, the girls do seem much more susceptible to seasickness. Our trainee should be lucky... she gets off at next Wednesday's crew change and the forecast is more of the same until then.

I've settled nicely into my groundhog day routine... I like it once that happens, I like routine. The time is flying.

The seagulls are getting out of control...



I almost felt guilty...




During my walk a whale surfaced just off the boat.











But after my initial excitement...








It was just the ROV...  :Sad: 

Every 24 hours we have to break off the survey (around 400m down) to bring the ROV to surface and back down to seabed... to measure the temperature and salinity of the water column. We need to feed the conductivity and temperature of the complete seawater profile into the hydroacoustic positioning system to keep an accurate position for the ROV. It's all about getting the most accurate speed of sound through the water column as possible.

----------


## tomcat

...^so, you were certain that wasn't Godzilla rising from the depths then...

----------


## Headworx

^Well it is 2020 and the way things are going, it's almost surprising it wasn't Godzilla armed with a fucking bazooka and atomic bomb hand grenades.

----------


## Mendip

We had a crew change in Hammerfest today, advertised as the world's most northerly town. I think that's about all it's got going for it...

It has a wonderful natural harbour, and a few views of the bay from my helideck this afternoon.





One road in... carved from solid gneiss. There's not much soil in this part of Norway.



A couple of other boats were also in. I think the black one is a fishing boat... sadly there's also whaling boats in this part of Norway. An emotive subject which many agree with on this boat I'm working on.



Another boat heading out to sea...



Oil money has transformed Hammerfest. Previously it was a poor fishing town but oil money has resulted in new development all over. The difference between the old traditional houses and the new buildings is very obvious.

The traditional wooden faced Norwegian houses.



And the ghastly new buildings. Architecture in Norway is awful and most cities look as I'd imagine Eastern bloc countries looked like during the cold war.



And if you're wondering what all the lines of fences are across the hillsides... they're barriers to stop snow avalanches during the winter. 

On a nice day like today it's easy to forget how north this is and how wild the weather can get. Come November the sun will dip below the horizon and not emerge again until late January. Two months of total darkness with a couple of months of dusk either side... I wouldn't fancy that. I think Hammerfest falls into the category of, 'nice to see but thank fukk I don't live there'!

And what it's all about... the Melkøya gas terminal in the distance. The pipelines we've been working on transport the gas here from the fields offshore. The new route we've been surveying will increase the yield from the Wisting field in a few years time.



We've got delayed today and this photo was taken about 10pm. It got quite a bit darker by midnight... noticeably more so than a couple of weeks ago. The nights are drawing in!



A few years ago delays during a port call were a Godsend. The afternoon spent in a bar followed by a night shift snoozing in front of the computer. In today's world of zero tolerance and zero fun we weren't even allowed off the boat. Even if we were I wouldn't have a drink. Random tests are all too common and it's not worth losing your job over a couple of pints.

A calm sea beckons for when we eventually sail. The forecast is for 6 metre seas at the weekend which will be enough to stop us working. Probably enough to stop me eating as well after spending the year ashore.



And the gangway... in four weeks time I should be walking across that!

Covid allowing, of course... if Thailand is still so difficult to enter next month I may as well keep working, if they'll have me.

----------


## David48atTD

Great update Mate.  Bet that Harbor is frozen solid in Winter!

----------


## Mendip

The way this job's going I'll be able to let you know!

----------


## OhOh

> Bet that Harbor is frozen solid in Winter!


September to March, allegedly.  :Smile:

----------


## Chico

I'm a world away from Mendip in Norway,but you can feel the chill now starting to come in the middle of August in the Mornings,been 23 in the day and a big drop in the night time.

Never been in -30c before certainly going to be an experience, as off to Voss end September.

Mendip, hopefully they keep you on so we can get the Northern lights from sea,now that must be amazing.

----------


## Mendip

^ Quite a few years ago I had a cable route survey job across a fjord near Trondheim, and went from around +30 degrees in Isaan to -25 degrees at the work site in one day. That was a shock to the system. Incidentally, in 30 years offshore the only flight I've ever missed enroute to work was for that job... it was January 2nd and it took over 9 hours to get from Korat to Suvarnabhumi in a taxi... Mitraparp Road was jam packed with cars returning to Bangkok after the New Year.


After the crew change we eventually started working again... just off the northern coast. I've taken heaps of pics around here already but will show a few again... just because it was such a glorious day for this part of the world. There won't be many more days like this up here, this year...



And a guy out fishing in the distance...



And another fisherman... I'd be a bit nervous out there in a boat so small. The weather can change very quickly up here.



I gave him a wave as he passed the helideck, but he completely ignored me.

This is exactly the kind of boat I want one day. I've been trying to persuade the wife to move down to the coast, maybe Rayong somewhere... or even Koh Chang. I'd be like a pig in shit with a small boat like this to go out fishing in every morning... maybe take along Coco and a couple of bottles of Leo. The wife is resisting so far... shame as I reckon my marriage would improve no end if I could spend every day fishing.



And off he heads home with his catch... lucky b@stard... apart from having the home in Hammerfest, that is.

----------


## grasshopper

And here I was griping about being in lockdown (sorta) on the Northern Beaches in Sydney. Thought winter here was a killer. 

Far better informed having read through your thread so far this morning. Interesting read. 

Having to walk around that deck for exercise most every day would maybe have me contemplating walking straight after a few weeks. Still, money needs and your daughter will keep you going. Press on, Mendip.

----------


## Mendip

^ It's surprising what you do when you've got no choice... I downloaded a couple of old Bowie albums on Spotify, stuck on my headphones and was like Forrest Gump today... just kept on walking. I lost track of the time and did nearly an hour and a half going round the helideck. it was a mild 12 degrees today, I was in a t-shirt and shorts and it was very pleasant. 

It's a good chance to do a lot of thinking... I don't get that opportunity very often. 

But yep, my daughter is the motivator.

----------


## Loy Toy

I understand you are involved with ROV's mate.

Am I correct and if so do you know a guy by the name of Andy Rose who also pilots and services ROVs?

----------


## Mendip

^ The name doesn't ring any bells... but I have no involvement with the industry in Thailand. For a long time all my work has been Europe or West Africa. 

I know Rawlins well, who used to post on here. He's also in the industry... worked on a couple of jobs together in the past.

----------


## Edmond

^^^^ Advice #1: If you're the one paying the bills, you call the shots. You say where you're living, not ask. There's an okay school in Rayong.


With a bit of a head on me this morning, I could certainly do with that fresh air, and possibly an Arctic Ocean plunge.  :Smile:  Have you ever been on a ship or rig when someone's gone overboard?

----------


## lom

> I know Rawlins well, who used to post on here.


Tell him to come back, he was a very funny and likeable poster!

----------


## katie23

@mendip - thanks again for the pics & stories. If you're still there until winter, the changes will be interesting to see. (yes, I've experienced winters - it was cold & depressing. First few snows were nice, after that - bleh.)

@edmond - hmm. If you're both paying the bills, then where you live is a joint decision. Also, re: mendip, I think they (she) owns the house & land? I think it would be a bit difficult to move if you've got real property (not a condo). You'd have to find a buyer or renter of the property. 

Re: beaches & islands, on my first visit to Puerto Galera, I fancied the idea of buying land & retiring there. I liked the idea of being near a beach. But on my 2nd visit, I noticed some things: they had power cuts, water supply problems in the summer, price of petrol & manufactured goods are higher - the realities of living in a small island. Of course if $$ is not an issue, then those things are trivial. But for an ordinary citizen like me, then those matter. So I scrapped that idea of small island life. I'll stay in Luzon (near Manila) and just go for occasional trips to the beach, and/ or buy a beachside property in Luzon. 

Re: island life, Topper's living in a smaller island in PI and he's experienced power cuts & lack of choices for manufactured goods or restos. Realities.

----------


## Mendip

> ^^^^ Advice #1: If you're the one paying the bills, you call the shots. You say where you're living, not ask. There's an okay school in Rayong.
> 
> 
> With a bit of a head on me this morning, I could certainly do with that fresh air, and possibly an Arctic Ocean plunge.  Have you ever been on a ship or rig when someone's gone overboard?


Yes... I know what you're saying...

It's not just the Isaan factor... by and large offshore workers tend to live where their spouses come from as we spend maybe six months a year away from home. Relocating to the coast is a work in progress... but it will always be difficult to relocate to somewhere my wife has no life and then disappear for three months. It may have to wait until I retire... so never.

We used to live in Perth WA and I do have moments when I wonder what on earth possessed me to move to Korat (OK... it was tax!!!). Perth has lots of coastline!

But to be honest... apart from having no coast, no decent bars and very little entertainment on offer, oh... and being stinking hot and being an awful long way from the airport, Korat isn't so bad. And anyway, my dogs need me.

As for a man overboard... the only instance I have known was when a very drunk ROV guy got it wrong and ended up in Great Yarmouth docks. The client was asleep and that was very much hushed up. I guess incidents like that led to today's zero tolerance.

The surface water here is 8 degrees... a very cold plunge to get rid of a hangover and you wouldn't survive long. I lose interest in my pool at home when the water goes below 23 degrees.

And way off topic regarding my commute to work... but on the topic of a man overboard... or a woman to be exact. A newspaper clipping (Page 3 of the Daily Mirror from 1948) about my mum's uncle, my Great Uncle I guess... (yes, a boring shift tonight...)

----------


## Mendip

> Tell him to come back, he was a very funny and likeable poster!


I'll send him a message... haven't been in touch for a year or so.

The last time I worked with him we shared a cabin on a crappy old dive vessel on the Nile Delta. He was a very tidy cabin mate!

We went to Laos for a couple of days a few years ago and he persuaded me to start posting on TD... but he was supposed to start again as well!

----------


## Mendip

> @mendip - thanks again for the pics & stories. If you're still there until winter, the changes will be interesting to see. (yes, I've experienced winters - it was cold & depressing. First few snows were nice, after that - bleh.)
> 
> @edmond - hmm. If you're both paying the bills, then where you live is a joint decision. Also, re: mendip, I think they (she) owns the house & land? I think it would be a bit difficult to move if you've got real property (not a condo). You'd have to find a buyer or renter of the property. 
> 
> Re: beaches & islands, on my first visit to Puerto Galera, I fancied the idea of buying land & retiring there. I liked the idea of being near a beach. But on my 2nd visit, I noticed some things: they had power cuts, water supply problems in the summer, price of petrol & manufactured goods are higher - the realities of living in a small island. Of course if $$ is not an issue, then those things are trivial. But for an ordinary citizen like me, then those matter. So I scrapped that idea of small island life. I'll stay in Luzon (near Manila) and just go for occasional trips to the beach, and/ or buy a beachside property in Luzon. 
> 
> Re: island life, Topper's living in a smaller island in PI and he's experienced power cuts & lack of choices for manufactured goods or restos. Realities.



Yes Katie... it wouldn't be easy to relocate. It would also take a lot of energy to start somewhere else again. I've put a lot of time and energy building things on my (wifes) property and it's a nice home to live in... just wish I could move it somewhere else.

And as for islands, I told my wife I'd like to live on a small island with no-one else, just us, the dogs and the chickens. She said, 'good luck...'

Maybe I have become a bit anti-soical.

----------


## katie23

^yup, good luck with that idea. I like my malls & being away from the big city for only an hour or so. Where I live, it's still provincial but near enough to the city. My dad grew up in a very small, provincial town. It's nice for occasional visits, but too quiet & isolated for me. Heck, he left it for better education & job prospects!

I've visited islands small enough to have only resorts/ cottages for guests (during a boat tour in Coron, Palawan - there's a thread about that in the PI section). Sure, it sounds idyllic, but you have to think of practicalities - you'd have to set up your own electricity, water, internet, supplies, etc. Plus, being in the Philippines, what if there's a typhoon/ earthquake / tsunami (or all of the above) and the island is cut off from the mainland? The realities of living off grid...

Anyway, enough of maudlin thoughts. It's Friday! Cheers & keep on trucking, or in your case, sailing!  :Smile:

----------


## NamPikToot

> I like my malls





> Anyway, enough of maudlin thoughts.


Poor Mr Katie, a lifetime of being dragged around shops having rehearsed "Yes dear you look great in that/those/them" 

I hope he's practicing :Smile:

----------


## katie23

^lol. He's in training.  :Very Happy: 

We hike too, occasionally (not now during the pandemic). I'm more athletic than him.  :Very Happy: 

Btw, how are Mrs Toot's rooms? Any update on those?

----------


## NamPikToot

> ^lol. He's in training. 
> 
> We hike too, occasionally (not now during the pandemic). I'm more athletic than him. 
> 
> Btw, how are Mrs Toot's rooms? Any update on those?


Sorry for hijacking your thread Mendip.

Katie, does he realise he's being trained and kept fit. i think one day he'll be having a rare beer with his mates and suddenly the penny will drop and he'll go "Hang on a minute, are you lot telling me that every Saturday you lot go out and get beered up and have balut and watch footy whilst i am getting beasted up a 1 in 3 hill carrying Katie's bags"

Mrs Toots' Looms are nearly done, came in nearer 900K as she's went for some upmarket paint and a wall...the minx...She has deposits for all 5 and is getting phone inquiries still - she could have let them 3 times over so far so its looking good despite the economy.  

PS

Do Flipas snog after eating Balut?  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Sorry for hijacking your thread Mendip.


What a twat.

----------


## katie23

^behave, dear snubs. Play nice.  :Smile: 

@mendip - sorry for hijacking the thread. Tell the Filipino cooks "magandang umaga/ gabi" (good morning/ evening) when you get food from them. Also "salamat" (thank you) and they'll be sweet on you. You may even get corned beef which isn't overcooked!  :Very Happy:  (but yeah, many Filipino cooks overcook stuff - someone mentioned in one of my threads that Pinoy food is like "something that looks like the Dementors of Azkaban have razed through." Lol. 

For the offshore guys here, what's the appropriate footwear for walks on that ship's deck? Mendip's shoes have taken a beating. 

@toot - would appreciate it if you updated the" looms" thread. I'd like to see the finished product. The BF and I had a laugh re: your comments on his "training".  :Very Happy:  He's lost several kg during the past months in his bid to be healthier. Cheers!

----------


## Mendip

^ Katie, my Merrell 'Low Rise Hiking Shoes' have been more than up to the job of walking around the helideck. I can't recommend them enough... after three weeks of 4 mile walks the soles are virtually untouched. My trainers were knackered after two days.

Merrell Men's All Out Blaze Sieve Low Rise Hiking Shoes, Brown (Brindle/B. Scotch), 11 UK: Amazon.co.uk: Shoes & Bags

The problem now is that the weather has taken a distinct downturn and the helideck's been closed for a couple of days.



Out at sea we have 6m waves which is beyond our safe working limit, so we came in to shelter between some islands and do a bit of nearshore work... which is now sadly nearly finished.  So we'll have to soon head back out to sea again and wait for the weather to come down to start working. 



A ferry passed by earlier... rather them than me.



The midnight sun is a thing of the past and feels an age ago. The change in three weeks is amazing, it now gets almost dark and the winter is well and truly drawing in.



Tomorrow I may even have to try the gym as the helideck will still be closed... I'll have to test out my newly glued trainers. 

But it's such a pain... Covid measures rule that only two people are allow in the gym at a time, so you have to sign your name beforehand... and of course everyone wants to use it at the same time either side of shift change.

In fact it's hard to find any aspect of life not effected by Covid... a few months ago while I was home my daughter said to me that she was starting to dislike the Chinese for giving Covid to the world, and much as I didn't want to condone any racist thoughts in a child so young it was very hard to disagree with her.

----------


## Backspin

14 hour days eh. I thought 12 was standard.

----------


## Backspin

> ^ The name doesn't ring any bells... but I have no involvement with the industry in Thailand. For a long time all my work has been Europe or West Africa. 
> 
> I know Rawlins well, who used to post on here. He's also in the industry... worked on a couple of jobs together in the past.


Ah. Rawlins. The guy who's picture comes up when you Google Emma

----------


## Saint Willy

> a few months ago while I was home my daughter said to me that she was starting to dislike the Chinese for giving Covid to the world, and much as I didn't want to condone any racist thoughts in a child so young it was very hard to disagree with her


you could have pointed out that America has prolonged it by initial denials and inadequate care, or that a disease can occur anywhere, or remind her of the Spanish Flu, German Measles or mention that it was not a deliberate act... or I dunno, tell her that disliking an entire race of people for a disease that they suffered from also is just plain silly and racist?

----------


## headhunter

thinking of you mate,been watching the documentaries on true about DISASTER'S at sea.hurry home the cider is waiting.

----------


## lom

> 


and now moored in Hammerfest... Tough job innit, with that pace the job could last for the remaining of this year.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Here's hoping!  :Smile: 

We're only moored until midday... then back out into the storm so we're on site and ready as soon as it's workable. 

Can't waste a minute of good weather... it's gonna be a miserable steam out there beam on to the weather.

----------


## Mendip

We sailed out into the bad weather this morning... didn't get a lot of sleep.

This afternoon we were still in transit and the helideck was closed...





Photos don't really show much, but it's surprising how much movement there is during a transit in weather...




So, my first trip to the gym! And I do believe that after three weeks of this I'm finally starting to lose some weight.

----------


## Saint Willy

that's a great video, really shows the movement that a photo cannot. What a difference from a few weeks ago.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - great vid! My only complaint - why is there no greeting such as "Hi guys, welcome to my channel"?  :Very Happy: 

Good luck on the weight loss. Try intermittent fasting (16:8). It's what I've been doing, coupled with exercise. In one month, I've lost some weight and am happy with my progress. Cheers!

----------


## OhOh



----------


## Chittychangchang

:smiley laughing: 
Imagine working out in the gym after a belly full of beans and fried spam while that storm is going on.
Made me queasy looking at it, then again I was sea sick on the jolly roger pirate ship in Tenerife.

As a matter of interest Mendip, what's your gym routine workout?

----------


## somtamslap

You've got a Concept 2 ergo rower on board?!

All your problems are solved. You are hereby tasked to train for (Google will help you with this) and row the fastest 2km you can muster. It's a great challenge. The rower's equivalent of the runner's 5km.

My current PB is 7minutes flat. If you can beat that I'll happily travel to Mendips and drink a vat of scrumpy in your honour.

----------


## headhunter

spam and beans :spam2:  gold is cheaper.

----------


## Mendip

> Imagine working out in the gym after a belly full of beans and fried spam while that storm is going on.
> Made me queasy looking at it, then again I was sea sick on the jolly roger pirate ship in Tenerife.
> 
> As a matter of interest Mendip, what's your gym routine workout?


My gym time is 3:30pm to 4:30pm... I start my shift at 6pm. I have my beans and SPAM after I finish my shift at 6am, so luckily they're through my system by the time I get into the gym. 

Well... luckily for the girl geo who coincidentally had already booked the same gym slot that I've booked! It's a small gym and not well ventilated!

My routine today was 30 minutes fast walk on a treadmill (too much movement to risk a jog), followed by 15 minutes on the rower, then 15 minutes on various weight machines and free weights. I don't really know what I'm doing but change the exercises to combat boredom. There was something nice about sitting on the rower looking through the window at the sea... it was a bit more realistic... kind of!






> You've got a Concept 2 ergo rower on board?!
> 
> All your problems are solved. You are hereby tasked to train for (Google will help you with this) and row the fastest 2km you can muster. It's a great challenge. The rower's equivalent of the runner's 5km.
> 
> My current PB is 7minutes flat. If you can beat that I'll happily travel to Mendips and drink a vat of scrumpy in your honour.



Coincidentally, today was my first day on that rower, I did 15 minutes but have no idea how far I went. All I know is my arms and shoulders are are aching like a b@stard now.

I'll start the training... can't be too hard and I may be on here for another 5 weeks now... so time to get in shape!

Aah ... a bit of a problem with my first day of training though... the gym's fully booked for my slot tomorrow (only two people allowed in at a time... bladdy Covid) so it'll back to the helideck.

Rower training starts Thursday!




> spam and beans gold is cheaper.


Yes... you're not wrong in Thailand. But I'm getting it for free will make the most of it!

----------


## Mendip

> @mendip - great vid! My only complaint - why is there no greeting such as "Hi guys, welcome to my channel"? 
> 
> Good luck on the weight loss. Try intermittent fasting (16:8). It's what I've been doing, coupled with exercise. In one month, I've lost some weight and am happy with my progress. Cheers!



I'll try harder with my next video Katie... I'm sure we'll get a lot worse weather in September. Around the equinoxes are often the worst times.

I've been intermittently fasting already, between meals. 

Whatever does (16:8) mean? I'm new to this.

----------


## Edmond

Top work, Mendy.  :tumbs: 

Keep it up.

Another 5 weeks of daily gym and no beer, and you'll have gone from Dill to Eddie by the time ya get back.  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> Whatever does (16:8) mean?


I believe it's 16 straight hours of no food per 24.

So on a normal schedule, eat breakfast at 9am, and eat the day's last meal at *fingers and toes*.... 5pm.


To be honest, things like that work, unless you're gorging 3000 calories in the 8 hours while burning 2000 calories over the 24. But there's no real need for it if you're doing decent daily exercise, and not gorging yourself on beer and dustbin lid sized calzones.

Simply burning more calories than you take in is all you need to do. Daily exercise and moderately (non-gorging) eating should do this. No need to think about gimmicks and fads.

Move more, eat less. Which you're currently doing. 


Something like a 16:8 may suit somebody that doesn't have time to get out exercising for an hour each day. 

Something like a 5:2 or whatever it's called that Dill was last trying - eating what you want for 5 days of the week, then no food at all for 2 days (typically Tuesday and Thursday), is for slobs that haven't got the will power to get out and move everyday.

----------


## Shutree

> Whatever does (16:8) mean? I'm new to this.


16 hours: all you can eat.
8 hours: sleep.

Works for me.

----------


## Klondyke

> Whatever does (16:8) mean? I'm new to this.


16 hours - distance to the next meal. I.e., to leave out one meal, e.g. breakfast or dinner. It really works, 1, 2 hours less does not make difference, a lot of info can be found when searched 16:8. 

It's explained, it's not only the fasting what helps but the long gap to the next meal cause some better function of kidney, producing insulin and a lot of what I better do not break my head of.

----------


## Mendip

So this is all pretty easy then.

There's a meal every six hours to cover all shifts... so I eat just before my 6pm shift starts, and again at midnight. All I have to do is miss the breakfast after my shift finishes at 6am (which isn't great anyway) and I'll be doing an (18:6) without even thinking about it.

Then, 2km in 7 minutes on the silly rowing machine, which can't be difficult. I did 15 minutes on my first go, and besides, I'm used to doing about 6km on the helideck.

The main problem I see is that I'll have to buy a new wardrobe when I eventually get off this damn boat!

----------


## cyrille

Yeah, don't eat artery bustin' stuff that you're not even enjoying.

----------


## Mendip

Exactly!

No more breakfasts...   after today!

----------


## Klondyke

> The main problem I see is that I'll have to buy a new wardrobe when I eventually get off this damn boat!


But keep and store the old one - for any case...

----------


## katie23

As mentioned by the others, 16:8 is 16 hours of fasting and an 8-hour window of moderate eating. Of course if you stuff your gob during those 8 hours (and no exercise) then it won't work. If you can make it 18:6 then that would achieve better resilts, I think. The fasting period makes your body use up fat as energy source, aside from the other benefits that Klondyke has written. 

I'm one of those ppl who can't (or won't) exercise for 1 hour a day (for various reasons), so the 16:8 works for me. At the moment, due to lockdown restrictions, that's the best strategy.  I don't like Atkins or keto diet or whatever. But if it works for some ppl, then good for them. I've a friend who did keto diet, and it worked for her. 

At the start of lockdown, I was exercising regularly, but I grew lazy in the later months (it's 5 months already) . Then one day, I decided to try on some office clothes (haven't worn them in months bcos of WFH) and clothes were a bit tight! So that was the motivation to lose weight. I can't hike mountains for now, and trips to the supermarket & wet market are my week's highlight - so I walk for the change in scenery. Not complaining though - I still have my health, job, family, etc - which can't be said for some of my countrymen/ women.

This thread remains interesting (for me) because it gives an insight on life aboard a ship. As many if you know, there are many Filipinos serving as staff on ships (25% of ship crews worldwide are Filipinos, accdg to an article I've read). I have friends & neighbors who are mariners or their family member is a mariner or some other OFW (overseas Filipino worker).

Cheers to all & good luck to anyone who is on a weight loss journey!  :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

> weight loss journey!


Oh lord...careful! 


 ::spin::

----------


## Chittychangchang

> Rower training starts Thursday!


There's several decent workouts on that rower.

The one I used to do as a warm up to my gym session was the 4x500m with a 60 second break every 2 minutes and 500metres.12 mins in total.
Gives you time to catch your breath as a beginner/intermediate. 

A good all round body workout,  not in Slaps league though.

----------


## Chittychangchang

> But keep and store the old one - for any case...


Good advice, will save a few quid for when the pie,chips,peas and Hong Thong diet resumes :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

> Exactly!
> 
> No more breakfasts...   after today!


I would disagree.  Any fad eating is not good.  Go with the old adage: breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper.

----------


## cyrille

Yeah, but he's talking about the last meal he eats before going to bed...




> I eat just before my 6pm shift starts, and again at midnight. All I have to do is miss the breakfast after my shift finishes at 6am (which isn't great anyway) and I'll be doing an (18:6) without even thinking about it.

----------


## lom

> I would disagree. Any fad eating is not good. Go with the old adage: breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper.


Good rule but eating breakfast directly after ending the night shift is a no-no if you're going to sleep for 6-8 hours thereafter.
That is the "don't fill stomach just before going to sleep" rule.

----------


## nidhogg

> Good rule but eating breakfast directly after ending the night shift is a no-no if you're going to sleep for 6-8 hours thereafter.
> That is the "don't fill stomach just before going to sleep" rule.


Yes.  Mendip needs to adapt.  First meal big, second medium, last sparse.

----------


## cyrille

Though I do remember phuketbound, who apparently used to be a lifestyle coach, saying she habitually ate three boiled eggs before going to bed...so who knows.

I believe sumo wrestlers do something similar.

----------


## armstrong

You should have to post a picture of your body before being allowed to discuss health regimes.

----------


## Chittychangchang

> You should have to post a picture of your body before being allowed to discuss health regimes.


Indeed, that would narrow the forum and discussion down to a handful of helpful and genuine members thus keeping all the knowitalls out of it.

----------


## Edmond

> Though I do remember phuketbound, who apparently used to be a lifestyle coach


Now that made me laugh.  :Smile:

----------


## Chittychangchang

> Now that made me laugh.


Imagine the smelly farts all night having consumed three boiled eggs before bed :Bigeyes2:  :Puke:

----------


## Edmond

> You should have to post a picture of your body before being allowed to discuss health regimes.


I'll refrain from posting the O_iled down in me CR7 briefs pics_ for a while yet.  :Smile:  





But have lost and kept off 10kg+ by simply jogging or cycling every weekday morning, then some upperbody gym in the afternoon, diet naturally changed to mainly meat and veg, with little stodge. Weekends are beer and pizza gorgefests.

No gimmicks/fasts/ratios needed.

----------


## Chittychangchang

Inspiring lean Lu, truly inspiring.

Decent set of cycling legs there.

Lets motivate Mendip!

I'm in...

----------


## Chittychangchang

I'm sure TDs diet and fitness guru Dillinger wont mind this inspirational pic being posted while he's on his jollies. 

That's a small step for Dill, but a giant splash for Dillkind..



#motivatemendip

 :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Just you to go now, Katie.... :-)

----------


## somtamslap

The rower has gotta be the best piece of cardio apparatus in the gym. At the end of a successful 2km time trial your body should be so overun with lactic acid that you collapse next to the machine. Always a favourite with the other patrons of the gym.

But seriously, start out nice and easy, add a few 30 second, one minute, two minute intervals, just to take you out of your comfort zone and get you acquainted with self induced suffering and watch your fitness levels blow the ruddy roof off the ship. You'll walk off that vessel with a Vo2 max of 80.

I'm tempted to invest in a Concept 2 myself to while away the winter months. Can't be arsed with gyms in the current covid climate.

----------


## Chittychangchang

> Can't be arsed with gyms in the current covid climate.


I hear that, pre booking sessions on gym apps etc

It's just not worth the hassle or risk.
Cancelled my 10 year membership recently, it was a sad day.
Miss the natural cortisone hit and endorphins. 
Compensate for it by cycling, when it's not ruddy raining.

----------


## Mendip

Bladdy hell... I feel that I have to lose weight now after all this interest! Thanks for the motivation!

Firstly... yes, I eat breakfast at the end of my night shift around 6:15am, then go to bed. This will be an easy meal to miss and I haven't been having it every day because it's pretty shite.

Sorry Katie... but this is down to your fellow countrymen... and women. What on earth do they do to the bacon? And yesterday they replaced the stewed corned beef with stewed tinned mackerel... that was a first (and last) for me.



So I will be on an (18:6) without even trying.  Mind, if this was a UK boat with proper sausages, back bacon, black pudding etc it would be a problem.

Not making excuses but in general it's very difficult to lose weight on these boats. After eight months of Isaan living I'm suddenly confronted with all the Western food I miss... just sitting there waiting to be eaten. Although no pies on a Norwegian boat. 

Tomorrow I will start on the Concept rowing machine... may name is already on the gym list! I'll start by just doing 15 minutes and see how far I go to give me some idea of what's what. Then I can start working towards a record time for 2km! I must admit though my arms and shoulders are killing me after my first go a couple of days ago.

I should be on this boat until around 16th to 23rd September, so another month to sort meself out. I was 114kg at my medical in Bangkok on 24th July which shocked me... let' see what it is next month!

As for my work commute... on it goes. After I get off this boat it looks as though I've secured a month's work in Haugesund with a company I used to work for. This is good news as I can't see it being easy to get back home next month unless Thailand starts to rapidly open up. 

It's looking as though the UK will go on Norway's 'red Covid list' this Friday (over 20 cases per 100,000 population), which will mean mandatory 10 day quarantine for anyone coming over from the UK for office work (offshore work has dispensation). This could be the first favour Covid has done me, cos I'm already in Norway and available!

A month of hotel living, working in an office will be a test though... after work pints, takeaways etc etc. I'll just have to be strict with meself. No more of those kebab pizzas! I may even think about going to the gym in the evening after work, although that would just seem weird.

After that, if Thailand is still pretty well closed I'll be sniffing around a project in the Black Sea over the winter. If I can't go home I may as well keep working...

----------


## Mendip

> Good advice, will save a few quid for when the pie,chips,peas and Hong Thong diet resumes


That's a thing of the past mate... but I'll hold off on burning my old clothes for a while yet. 

Besides, after all this work I may splash out on a bottle of Highland Park at duty free on me way home!





> I would disagree.  Any fad eating is not good.  Go with the old adage: breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dinner like a pauper.


Yeah... when I say 'miss breakfast' that's my evening meal before I go to bed because I'm on nights. My breakfast is the ship's evening meal... tonight it was baked salmon with potatoes, veg and parsley sauce.

Lunch will be at midnight... when I'll eat like a prince!





> I'll refrain from posting the O_iled down in me CR7 briefs pics_ for a while yet.  
> 
> 
> But have lost and kept off 10kg+ by simply jogging or cycling every weekday morning, then some upperbody gym in the afternoon, diet naturally changed to mainly meat and veg, with little stodge. Weekends are beer and pizza gorgefests.
> 
> No gimmicks/fasts/ratios needed.


I don't even get the weekend gorgefests so I really can't see how I won't lose weight!

If it all goes as planned I'll even post a pic up of the new me, once I get home... eventually...





> The rower has gotta be the best piece of cardio apparatus in the gym. At the end of a successful 2km time trial your body should be so overun with lactic acid that you collapse next to the machine. Always a favourite with the other patrons of the gym.
> 
> But seriously, start out nice and easy, add a few 30 second, one minute, two minute intervals, just to take you out of your comfort zone and get you acquainted with self induced suffering and watch your fitness levels blow the ruddy roof off the ship. You'll walk off that vessel with a Vo2 max of 80.
> 
> I'm tempted to invest in a Concept 2 myself to while away the winter months. Can't be arsed with gyms in the current covid climate.


So the aim is 'self induced suffering'?

But I'm on for it... starting tomorrow. It'll be a welcome break from the tedium of work to have something separate to aim for.

The missus won't recognise me when I get home!

I'll have to Google what a 'Vo2 max of 80' means though.

----------


## Saint Willy

> If I can't go home I may as well keep working...


Good thinking.




> 'Vo2 max of 80'





Something to do with the Oxygen volume in your lungs for each breath. Maybe 80 cubic centimetres in a maximum lungful.

----------


## headhunter

what about some nice smoked KIPPERS or smoked HADDOCK.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - I'm sorry for the ghastly condition of thise bacon strips! Patawad po! (mai pen rai or something...) In one of my former jobs, the husband of a colleague was a ship's cook. I didn't know if he was a good cook, but he was able to provide a good lifestyle for his family!  :Smile:  The problem with many Filipino dishes is that it's either overcooked or super oily. (disclaimer: I don't overcook food & don't like super oily foods due to health issues).

Re: getting fat when working on a ship - yes it tends to happen. I remember when the son of a neighbor came home after a 6 or 7-month OJT from an international ship - he gained loads of weight. He said there was lots of free food & he particularly liked Nutella during breakfast. (Nutella is $$$ here). 

@edmond - if you wanna see my legs, there are pics in my latest Malaysia thread (KL + Cameron Highlands).  :Very Happy:  You'll see from the pics that I'm not overweight (have normal BMI), but am not slim either. I'm doing the weight loss/ exercise thing for health reasons and so that I don't have to buy a new set of clothes when I get the "return to office" order!

Re: eating fads or diets, whether it's Atkins, Keto, Blood Group, Mayo clinic, low carb, eat like a pauper - my view on that is if it works for the person, then good on him/ her! 

Btw, nice legs Ed/ Lu & Chitty!  :Very Happy:  Cheers!

----------


## Edmond

> nice legs Ed/ Lu & Chitty!


You neglected to mention the Dillster's carved physee, fisea, phis... body. 

Hiking's good, we head out to the hills of Rayong as a kind of chilled exercise day once every week or two.




So all you have to do when back in Khorat, Mendy, is walk 200km to the nearest hill and off ya go.  :Smile: 

But in the hills we usually go mountain biking.



Anyway, back to Mendy's fine thread, wherever it's gone to.

----------


## Mendip

Any diversions are very welcome!

But maybe less pics of guys in sporty poses and more of gals?






> what about some nice smoked KIPPERS or smoked HADDOCK.


No chance of the on a Norwegian boat...

But we do have the Scandinavian equivalent I guess... there's always smoked salmon and crab available in the cold cuts fridge. 

Nice on a bit of toast... I would imagine.

----------


## headhunter

didnt the chinese blame norwegian salmon for the corvid 19-virus.

----------


## aging one

^ That looks a lot more like surimi than crab Mendip mate.. :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> No chance of the on a Norwegian boat...


I am surprised. I'd have guessed they would be big into smoked fish in Norway. We live and learn.
I have only been to Norway once. It was cold and we had reindeer for dinner. That is all I can remember.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Yeah... but I think they were clutching at straws with that one.

^^ As Shutree says... you live and learn. I'd always assumed that crab sticks were made of crab... but after some research, yes, surimi it is!

^ Yes, they do love smoked fish but I guess kippers and smoked haddock are more expensive than the salmon. It's so abundant with all the fish farms it's as cheap as chips.

----------


## cyrille

> I'd always assumed that crab sticks were made of crab.


pollocks

----------


## Mendip

^ No need to be rude!

----------


## katie23

^Speaking of fish, has anyone eaten Surstromming? I've seen YT vids of ppl eating it. Is it really as bad as they say?

@edmond - if that's how you look like on post #311, I think I prefer that Luigi guy. He had more charisma. Can someone insert the gif of the 2 Italian guys?  :Very Happy: 

But, bcos Ed/Lu asked, here's a pic from a hike last January.  :Very Happy: 



Btw, where's fit&fab Dillinger now? Still in ol' Blighty or back in Malaysia?

----------


## Edmond

^ Happen to have Lu's Skype details, you only gotta ask.  :Smile:  





> I'd always assumed that crab sticks were made of crab..


Think they had to change the name to imitation seafood sticks, for the legal reason of not actually containing any crab.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ It is a very misleading name.


My first day of Concept 2 Rower training today...

After a minute and a half I'd done around 500m, and I thought this was going to be easy.

Then after 600m I was completely fukked... I think I started too quickly.

I did the 2km in 9 minutes 3 seconds, and carried on to do 3293m in 15 minutes. Not bad for my first attempt, and unless I'm missing something I can't really see a problem with 2km in 7 minutes in a week or two. Should I be setting the resistance to make it harder?

Mr Somtamslap... looks a cider in Somerset will be in order ...

All I can put it down to is my rowing experience... some things you never forget.

----------


## David48atTD

^  I can see that you have been storing that energy in your waist belt this past decade, like many here, including myself   :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Chittychangchang

> Should I be setting the resistance to make it harder?


It should be on the maximum resistance aka 10!

Maybe you're a natural born rower as your pics prove  :Smile:

----------


## Chico

> What on earth do they do to the bacon


Jeez looks like offshore food, has gone downhill, when i was on the rigs, it had to be to a good spec.

Anyone that's worked on the Aussie rigs or mine sites will know what I'm talking about.

Mendip stay healthy, get the flippers to make you porridge. :Smile:

----------


## Chico

> cheap as chips.


Is there anything cheap in Norway?

The hotel I stay has herrings  for breakfast cured in three different ways, though all with sugar,what a waste.

----------


## lom

> Speaking of fish, has anyone eaten Surstromming? I've seen YT vids of ppl eating it. Is it really as bad as they say?


I have and love it. 
It is simply fermented fish, let's say that it is not for everyone.. :Smile:

----------


## katie23

^finally someone answered in the affirmative!  :Very Happy: 

I'm curious about it... if it's available, I'll probably try just for the heck! Can't be much worse than marmite or durian, methinks...  :Very Happy:

----------


## Shutree

> It is simply fermented fish, let's say that it is not for everyone..


Like 'pla som'? Vile.

----------


## lom

> Like 'pla som'? Vile.


no, surstromming is much cleaner and is eaten raw. The smell is initially terrible but it disappears, the taste is delicious.  :Smile:  

Surstromming - Wikipedia

----------


## somtamslap

That's a gallant first effort, Mendip - you've clearly some muscle memory from previous paddling, so you're on the right path.

You'll probably want attempt the 2km efforts just once a week, while using the rest of the time in the gym to train for it; mixing endurance sessions on the rower (30 mins plus steady) and interval sessions (minute on minute off etc) with associated weight training (squats, deadlifts, anything to strengthen your quads and shoulders). No extra cardio needed as it all comes from the rower. It's truly a majestic piece of equipment. My favourite in the gym, apart from the stairmill. 

Contrary to what Chang says about the resistance, I'd opt for no more than 7 for training, possibly 8 for the actual effort. 6 is supposed to replicate actual real life rowing the most accurately, and the lower the resistance, yes, the less power you produce, but the more power you save for the latter stages of the effort.

In honesty, anything under 8 minutes would be an amazing achievement and time well spent to complement the piles of cash you'll be disembarking the boat with.

----------


## Edmond

> No extra cardio needed as it all comes from the rower. It's truly a majestic piece of equipment. My favourite in the gym


Time to get a researchin'. Cheers for the good info.

----------


## nidhogg

> ! Can't be much worse than marmite


Jesus.  Bit rich from a person from a country where balut is a national delicacy.

----------


## Headworx

^I'm with Katie on this one, Marmite is seriously nasty shit. But I'd rather eat it with a spoon straight out if the jar than eat Balut, so I'm with you too  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Balmite. 

Balut with big dollops of Marmite on top. 



Could work.

(at opening the gates of hell)

----------


## Shutree

> Balmite. 
> 
> Balut with big dollops of Marmite on top.


If I have nightmares I shall hold you personally responsible.

----------


## katie23

^^now that's a thought.  :Smile: 

I usually eat Balut with salt. Since marmite is salty, Balmite could work. I will report back as soon as I am able to procure a balut (still have some marmite in the fridge).

Meanwhile, here's a perfectly formed balut for y'all. The chick is in a nice foetal position. If you look closely, you can see the wing & feathers!  :Very Happy:  

(don't click if you don't wanna see)

----------


## Mendip

^ Aww Katie... what are you doing to my thread!  :Smile: 

And I thought I could eat anything.

Anyway, I can't leave that image at the foot of the thread. Another of my many duties at home, after rescuing the soi puppies, is rescuing chicks that get stuck in their eggs and can't hatch. All that's needed is a steady hand and a tooth pick.

So here's a Balut with a happy ending!

(Take note Katie!)

----------


## Mendip

> That's a gallant first effort, Mendip - you've clearly some muscle memory from previous paddling, so you're on the right path.
> 
> You'll probably want attempt the 2km efforts just once a week, while using the rest of the time in the gym to train for it; mixing endurance sessions on the rower (30 mins plus steady) and interval sessions (minute on minute off etc) with associated weight training (squats, deadlifts, anything to strengthen your quads and shoulders). No extra cardio needed as it all comes from the rower. It's truly a majestic piece of equipment. My favourite in the gym, apart from the stairmill. 
> 
> Contrary to what Chang says about the resistance, I'd opt for no more than 7 for training, possibly 8 for the actual effort. 6 is supposed to replicate actual real life rowing the most accurately, and the lower the resistance, yes, the less power you produce, but the more power you save for the latter stages of the effort.
> 
> In honesty, anything under 8 minutes would be an amazing achievement and time well spent to complement the piles of cash you'll be disembarking the boat with.


Today when I awoke my entire upper body had seized up... was I ever glad that the gym was fully booked for my slot and it wasn't an option. But my name's on the list for tomorrow and thereafter, so I have to go. Next week I'll change to a 12 - 12 midnight to mid day shift, the most unpopular shift but that also means that the gym will be empty at 10pm every night... so no excuses. (12 - 12 nights is my favourite shift for keeping in touch with home).

Your advice is gratefully headed and let's see where another 3 weeks on this boat gets me. Tonight I'll sneak into the gym and study the menus on the Concept 2 as that's been causing me some trouble. 

As for piles of cash... I'be been home for almost the entire year and there's a hole to fill. But if I get a third consecutive job over here (the second is almost in the bag!) then beers are on me in Bangkok! 

When I get home... (or maybe ciders in Somerset...)

----------


## Shutree

> beers on me in Bangkok!


Noted.

----------


## Mendip

^ That's a long trip down from Udon for a small bottle of Chang!

But I've said it now, I guess...

To be honest it was more aimed at Somtamslap... I thought that was a safe offer!

----------


## Mendip

Saw this tonight, the first time I've seen one.

It's a Russian red king crab, and to give some idea of its size, the pipeline is nearly 1m in diameter.



These crabs are native to the Bering Sea... around the Kamchatka Peninsula and across to Alaska.

In the 1960s the Soviets introduced them in the Murmansk Fjord in the Barents sea as a food source. 

These crabs have been marching westwards ever since, eating everything in their path. We're working around 500km west of Murmansk, off the northern coast of Norway, but these crabs have travelled maybe another 500km further along the coast and have been found as far south-west as the Lofoten Islands, south of Tromsø. That's 1000km in around 50 odd years.

The king crabs have no natural predators in Norway so are a big concern. The Norwegian government offer a bounty to fishermen to help reduce their numbers, but they're also very good eating so are much sought after anyway. Ultimately it's looking as though the warmer water to the south has stopped their invasion and saved the native crabs and lobsters.

----------


## Saint Willy

What's the depth there?

----------


## Mendip

^ Around 300m... this was about 20km off the coast.

----------


## Saint Willy

So a bit too deep to just duck out, swim down and pick him up for your supper...

----------


## somtamslap

Just a quickie re the concept 2 (it's a bit of a game changer so worth mentioning, especially if you're a number cruncher): download an app called Erg Data, it will pair with the rower and record your efforts. You can then upload to Strava and keep an account of your progress. 

I'm actually talking myself into buying myself an early Christmas present here.

----------


## Mendip

^ Will do... once I get some decent wifi.

These Concept 2 Rowers are about 1000 quid from what I can see... that rubber dinghy I use in the pool was only 1200 Baht and that included an electric air pump... just saying like.

I'm taking it steady on the rower for the first few days... not quite Lumphini Park steady but I'm not going full on until my shoulders recover. Next week I'll start going for it.

My view today... not too shabby!

----------


## Saint Willy

Not too shabby at all. But what's the temp like?

----------


## Mendip

We've finished up North at Wisting and Snohvit and started heading down south towards Sandnessjoen where we have a crew change on Monday. No... not me again.

On the way we passed the Goliat FPSO... meaning that it floats and is tethered to the seabed using anchor chains. FPSOs have become more common in recent years as the industry moves into deeper water. No need for expensive jackets that are anchored to the seabed.

The Goliat FPSO with attendant safety boat (which all platforms are legally required to have).



The Goliat FPSO is the world's largest cylindrical FPSO at over 100m diameter. It's designed that way to combat the Arctic weather.... I guess if you have no beams you can't get yourself beam-on to the weather.

It is also the worlds's most northerly production platform. Wisting, where we've been doing seabed surveys, will beat that once developed with FPSO installed. Snohvit is also further north but that field has entirely subsea infrastructure.



A Norwegian naval vessel of some sort... maybe this is Helge's frigate?



And on we go... a 30 odd hour steam south into much worse weather. I don't think we'll see a calm sea like this again this trip.

----------


## lom

> We sailed out into the bad weather this morning... didn't get a lot of sleep.


Working only for a few days and then heading far south.. Is the job already done?

----------


## OhOh

> Goliat FPSO





> The Goliat FPSO is the world's largest cylindrical  FPSO at over 100m diameter. It's designed that way to combat the Arctic  weather.


Not quite as deep as I imagined it would be.

 Plenty of work for the survey ships it appears. With all those seabed pipes, well heads and anchors to be regularly checked by ROVs.


https://img.offshore-mag.com/files/b...ffgoli_p02.png

_"A floating production storage and offloading (FPSO) unit is a  floating vessel used by the offshore oil and gas industry for the  production and processing of hydrocarbons, and for the storage of oil."

_When I was a lad FPSO were refurbished tankers. Things have moved on with the tethered tube design.  :Smile: 



_
Floating production storage and offloading - Wikipedia
_
A video of it's construction in South Korea. Delivered in 63 days to the Barents Sea on a self-propelled, submersible barge via the South China Sea, Indian Ocean, Cape Agulhas (southern tip of Africa) and up the Atlantic Ocean. For delivery to it's position at the field location in the field developer's site._







_

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks OhOh... gives some good background. This is starting to crossover with the 'Random offshore pics' thread.

And one of the many fitness threads...

And the 'Where's Coco thread'!

But sadly not the 'What are you drinking today' thread'... not for some time yet.





> Not too shabby at all. But what's the temp like?


Around 12 to 13 degrees... and that's with a 10 knot wind outside!  :Smile: 

Nice for this time of year up here... and about as cold as the coldest winter night we get in Korat.





> Working only for a few days and then heading far south.. Is the job already done?


The northern part is done... well the data is collected but still lots of work to do.

The next work will be near the Norne Field, but also Gullfaks and Oseberg are on the list... so don't worry Lom I'll be keeping busy.

But not so busy tonight!


I think we have to call in briefly to Tromsø, then will be heading on down to Sandnessjøen for the Monday crew change. We'll be going inside the Lofoten Islands so hopefully I'll be able to get some nice pics.

The usual Wednesday crew change has been brought forward to Monday since another low is coming across and it makes sense to crew change while the weather is unworkable.

The predicted wind at Monday lunchtime...



And guess where the Norne Field is, our next work site.

Yep, slap bang in the middle of that low... 6m waves through Monday. I can't see us working before Wednesday!  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> about as cold as the coldest winter night we get in Korat.


No open fires allowed on the flight deck though.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

What a difference 24 hours can make... this was probably the most realistic Concept 2 rowing I've ever done. With the boat's movement it was just like the real thing!



During the day we've been threading our way between the islands due to the weather. It started off lovely.

This is the bridge between the mainland (left) and Norway's second biggest island, Senja (right).



The island houses... it looks pretty idyllic apart from the weather.



And the mainland dwellings.



I would imagine the island people up here are even more inbred than their mainland counterparts, although I wouldn't say it out loud on the boat... the skipper's from up this way.

And speaking of the skipper... he was lining up nicely to pass under the bridge...



Not a lot of margin for error...



And if you've ever wondered what the underside of these bridges looks like.



And nicely done... inch perfect I would say and another bridge I can cross off my list.



And a bit later... the bridge to Norway's biggest island, Hinnøya (left). This is part of the Lofoten Islands.

Unfortunately I was a bit late to the party this time.



And a few shots to bore people with as we continued on... there was practically no wind this morning and it looked almost magical. You could imagine a Viking long boat coming out of the mist. 

The mist also meant we couldn't see the bladdy mountains.













But when I got up this afternoon it had all changed... the photo doesn't show it but there was 30 knot winds out there.



No helideck for me today.

----------


## Saint Willy

> And a few shots to bore people with as we continued on... there was practically no wind this morning and it looked almost magical. You could imagine a Viking long boat coming out of the mist.


They are not boring. They are so far removed from my experiences that this entire thread is gold, and I suspect that the number of replies demonstrates that I am not the only one. 

And yes, you could imagine a viking boat silently emerging from that mist!

----------


## Mendip

The voyage continued today... the Norwegians may have shite food and a pretty awful climate, but you can't deny they have some nice scenery.







Some major excitement this morning... I spotted a killer whale cruising about a few hundred metres from the boat. Called a few colleagues to come and see...



But to my great embarrassment and much piss taking, it turned out to be a little island with a navigation buoy stuck on top.

A new pair of glasses is now on the list when I get off this boat.



And on we pressed.



We passed a beautiful green hill... noticeable because you don't see much greenery up here. Apparently this was an old sheep farm... but very skinny sheep I would imagine. There's not a lot of grass about.



And a small salmon farm... maybe these will end up in Villa Market on Sukhumvit?

----------


## Mendip

And when I got up this afternoon for my night shift we were alongside in Sandnessjøen for the crew change.

As moorings go, a very picturesque one...





The Norwegians have more oil money than they know what to do with. Every island is now connected to the mainland by either a bridge or a tunnel. A mate of mine lives on a small island called Valderøy just outside of Ålesund. He said that the cost of the tunnel now connecting the island would have been the same as giving each inhabitant of that island the equivalent of £100,000. Guess what everyone would have preferred.

Anyway, out beyond our bows there was a lovely bridge across to a tiny island where maybe fifteen people and a couple of sheep live. There must be a lot of ferrymen out of work.



Sandnessjøen is famous for the Seven Sisters, a series of majestic mountain peaks! And I quote...


_The Seven Sisters

Climb one, climb them all - or stay on deck and just admire.

Side by side along the coast of Helgeland, between Hurtigruten ports of call Sandnessjøen and Brønnøysund, seven mountaintops look so beautiful that a local legend claims that they are female trolls turned to stone.

The tale of a troll chase

Botnkrona (1,072 m), Grytfoten (1,066 m), Skjæringen (1,037 m), Tvillingene (the Twins) (980 m), Kvasstinden (,1010 m) and Stortinden (910 m) were all daughters of the Suliskongen, who kept them under strict control, far up north. One night he fell into such a deep sleep that all seven maidens were able to sneak out, as young people often do for adventure.

But Vågekallen, who had been eager for a wife, was lying in wait. He chased them. The sisters fled south down the coast, with several trolls chasing, all of whom were either trying to capture or save them. But none of them thought of the sun, which turns all trolls to stone. When night eventually turned to morning, the troll sisters and their pursuers were petrified. They all became the stones and mountains that today make the Helgeland coastline one of the most beautiful in the world.


_Anyway... the Seven Sisters are behind that cloud... which was a bit disappointing.




But forget all that scenery and Norse mythology bollox, the reason I was looking forward to this crew change was that an old mate was coming aboard, and I'd asked him to get me some decent teabags and a proper mug. He did me proud. He's from Great Yarmouth, so I guess the mud was inevitable.



I took the mug out of the paper bag the shop had wrapped it in, looked inside...



Dirty b@stards in Great Yarmouth... some fukker had stuck his old chewing gum inside me new mug!

----------


## Chittychangchang

:smiley laughing: 

Some sick fookers in Great Yarmouth.

Great thread Mendip!

Btw Yorkshire tea is a decent brew, PG tips i beg to differ.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Thanks for the thread. Things here in Issan are boring as usual and for proof of that I can tell you the highlight of my day is getting up in the morning sitting down with a coffee and reading your story here. I know there must be more to life but it is what it is!

Anyway one thing has me very curious and that is exactly what is your role on the boat/ship.
If you were surveying the route for a new pipeline i could maybe understand the need for a Geologist but why are you needed for checking an existing pipeline?

What are some of the things that might make a planned route unsuitable for a pipeline?

As for the chewing gum I seem to remember an old song that went something like this, "your chewing gum loses it flavour on the bed post overnight" so the mug should be good to go with gum intact as it won't change the flavour of your tea.

----------


## Headworx

> And yes, you could imagine a viking boat silently emerging from that mist!


And Mendip rowing his heart out while singing _On we sweep with, threshing oar, our only goal will be the western shore!_  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> The Norwegians have more oil money than they know what to do with. Every island is now connected to the mainland by either a bridge or a tunnel.


A Swedish friend of mine is building them and has been doing so for the last thirty years. Building bridges for the 7 month of April-October and staying with his Thai family the other 5 month. He is very well paid and gets a lot of OT when there is little time left before the contracted completion date of a bridge.  :Smile:  Hard work though in a cold and expensive country.




> There must be a lot of ferrymen out of work.


I once in my youth drove by car up to Lofoten, not many bridges then but ferries everywhere. Very time wasting.

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> Thanks for the thread. Things here in Issan are boring as usual and for proof of that I can tell you the highlight of my day is getting up in the morning sitting down with a coffee and reading your story here. I know there must be more to life but it is what it is!
> 
> Anyway one thing has me very curious and that is exactly what is your role on the boat/ship.
> If you were surveying the route for a new pipeline i could maybe understand the need for a Geologist but why are you needed for checking an existing pipeline?
> 
> What are some of the things that might make a planned route unsuitable for a pipeline?
> 
> As for the chewing gum I seem to remember an old song that went something like this, "your chewing gum loses it flavour on the bed post overnight" so the mug should be good to go with gum intact as it won't change the flavour of your tea.



I'm missing my morning cup of tea, sitting with the dogs in our garden at home... seems an awful long time ago now. 

Oh... I miss the wife as well of course.

My main role is as a marine geologist / geophysicist but I realised a long time ago that to stick with just that type of work would be very restricting. I have inspection engineer's certs now (3.4U) and the great thing about inspection is that it doesn't matter what the state of the industry is, these pipelines and structures still have to be inspected year after year, by law. In a downturn the first thing to go is exploration, and then development of new fields. Inspection carries on regardless.

As for having to make a route detour for a pipeline... there's the obvious things like a wreck or large bedrock outcrops (we need unconsolidated sediment ideally). The environmentalists are very concerned that we avoid corals (there's a lot of cold water coral reefs off Norway). An irregular seabed can cause problems as it will result in freespans (unsupported sections of pipeline). In this part of the world there are large depressions in the seabed called pockmarks produced by gas and fluid escape from the seabed... these can be many tens of metres in diameter and ten or so metres in depth. There are also iceberg ploughmarks... huge trenches gouged out of the seabed by icebergs during the last glaciation. Pockmarks and ploughmarks will cause freespans and the worst are avoided... if possible. If they can't be avoided gravel is dumped to level the seabed but that is hugely expensive. If a pipeline has to be trenched we need suitable sub-seabed sediment... there's a lot of glacial boulder clay in this part of the world and we want that to be well below the seabed and not outcropping... it's too hard to trench through. Etc ...

And as for the chewing gum... I didn't fancy drinking a cup of tea with some unknown persons old chewing gum sat in the bottom... especially in these times of Covid. I pulled it out and gave the mug a good wash.

I have an uncle who once stuck his chewing gum above his eyelid when he went to school... I don't know why because it seems to me a ridiculous place to store it. It dried rock hard and he ended up in hospital to get it removed.





> And Mendip rowing his heart out while singing _On we sweep with, threshing oar, our only goal will be the western shore!_


I don't know that one... I usually stick to _Rule Britannia_ or sometimes Rod Stewart's classic.





> A Swedish friend of mine is building them and has been doing so for the last thirty years. Building bridges for the 7 month of April-October and staying with his Thai family the other 5 month. He is very well paid and gets a lot of OT when there is little time left before the contracted completion date of a bridge.  Hard work though in a cold and expensive country.


Many years ago I was hoping to become a bridge engineer, I love bridges and find their construction fascinating. 

I'm shit scared of heights though so decided to take a different path.

----------


## Headworx

> Oh... I miss the wife as well of course.


She reads this board 'ay?  :Smile:  



> I don't know that one... I usually stick to _Rule Britannia_ or sometimes Rod Stewart's classic.


Good God man, please tell me you're having a laugh!

----------


## Looper

> Btw Yorkshire tea is a decent brew, PG tips i beg to differ.


They have started selling Barry's in the Oz.

A top drop and has knocked the PG Tips off its top shelf perch in my kitchen.

----------


## reinvented

Not a big fan of yourkshire tea, too bitter
but im stuck with offive Lipton until i can get to Foodland
its the tea equivalent of glue sniffing

----------


## Chittychangchang

> They have started selling Barry's in the Oz.
> 
> A top drop and has knocked the PG Tips off its top shelf perch in my kitchen.


Never sampled Barry's Loops.

I'd rate PG tips at a lowly 2/10 when compared to the strength and flavour of Yorkshire tea.

Seriously if you get the opportunity to tastes it you wont regret it.

I have a pint of it every morning,  a fine way to kick start the day.

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ HW, I must have heard that song a hundred times, but never listened to the lyrics. 

A perfect song indeed for sailing through the Norwegian fjords... although Robert Plant sings a bit high for me to join in on the rowing machine.

We're out in the open ocean now, so it had to be...





Two recommendations for Yorkshire Tea... I've put Yorkshire and Barry's on my delivery list for when another mate comes over from the UK. I still like my PG Tips though.

Lipton must have done some marketing campaign... as soon as you leave the UK, Lipton Yellow Label is all you see. It's all they have on this boat and it's awful.

----------


## Mendip

A 200km transit and we're working on a new project. A seabed survey on a new field that will tie in to existing infrastructure at the Norne Field.

Here's the Norne FPSO about 6km away.





I can't work at Norne without thinking dark thoughts... it's strange what you remember.

Many years ago in 1998 I was working on a boat in the southern North Sea when we heard that a Super Puma had gone down enroute to Norne with the loss of 12 people. This obviously hits home to any offshore workers, particularly if you're offshore at the time. It was a few days after Lady Diana was killed in Paris... I remember also hearing about that and watching her funeral while I was on this boat.

As a consequence all non-essential helicopter flights were grounded in Norway while the investigation was carried out... good news for us as boats can always go to shore for a crew change and I think I left that vessel alongside in Dunkirk. That job in the southern North Sea meant a two hour chopper ride from Stavanger to the boat, via Ekofisk for refueling... awful for me... and everyone else if the truth were known. I absolutely hate going on helicopters, and if I had to go on one every time I went to work like the rig and platform workers have to I would seriously reconsider my job, especially with a young daughter so dependent on me. Luckily I haven't been on a helicopter for maybe eight years now and hopefully never will again.

A few years after that Norne disaster, in 2003, we lost a colleague and friend in Brazil... the helicopter he was on hit the mast of the construction vessel it was about to land on, then hit the sea and sunk immediately. That brought things home. I absolutely hate the things.

----------


## Shutree

> I absolutely hate the things.


None too keen on the things myself, fortunately I haven't needed to use them too often. I did the Nice-Monaco shuttle a couple of times, that feels like a very small and fragile machine. On one occasion I was winched down onto a ship under way at sea from a military helicopter. I was not military and not trained or even briefed. I was hooked up and the winch operator asked very politely "Have you ever done this before sir?" When I answered "No" he gave me a firm boot in the behind and I found myself swinging in space. I still remember vividly looking down and seeing sea, then ship, then sea, then ship, then sea. They dropped me exactly where I needed to be.

I shan't miss helicopters if I never have to use one again.

----------


## Shutree

> Lipton must have done some marketing campaign... as soon as you leave the UK, Lipton Yellow Label is all you see. It's all they have on this boat and it's awful.


When you have a moment, Google Thomas Lipton who created the brand. Fascinating story. Rubbish tea.

----------


## somtamslap

A quite amazing line of work, I know it's not without its hassle but people would pay for the experiences you've had/are having. I'm still struggling to get past the lack of booze though.

----------


## ootai

> I absolutely hate the things.


I chopped out most of the original post but kept the essential bit regarding Mendip speaking about helicopters.

When I worked in Indonesia i.e. Papua we used to fly in from Bali and then the last leg up the mountains was either a helicopter ride or a bus ride.
The helicopter used to take 20 minutes but the bus ride was a torturous 2 hours on a good day.
The buses were armoured plated on the inside of the bus and there was a 2 inch gap at the top that if you stood up and turned your head sideways you could just manage to see a little bit of the outside world.
So choice was always helicopter if they were flying. I loved them.
My wife came over for a visit one time and we managed to get the helicopter up the mountains and even though we were flying in mist towards the end she loved it as well.
She was also lucky in that she got the helicopter back down at the end of her stay.

Another time when I was working in PNG we used to fly in from Cairns to Mt Hagan and then helicopter up the mine site also a great trip.
I remember one time I was waiting to get off site but the clouds were rolling in and it looked as through they would cancel the helicopter, they didn't but we had to fly very close to the ground through the mountains to Mt Hagan. I remember thinking as I looked out the window that I coul;d almost jump out down to the ground we were so low.

Mendip has said that he is scared of heights and I am as well but I love flying, not sure why but the height in a plane or helicopter doesn't bother me.

----------


## Mendip

^ Ootai, it's not the 'heights' aspect that makes me hate flying in helicopters, it's the fact that they are just metal boxes with rotors stuck on top... with all of the aerodynamic qualities of a brick.

Added to that, we're crammed in, cocooned in survival suits and there's always a big b@stard sat next to you, blocking your escape window. If these things do hit the water all the weight is above your head, so the first thing they do is roll over...

We have to do training every four years which includes climbing out of a mock helicopter, upside down, under water. It's supposed to give you some confidence but all it does for me is confirm how bolloxed you are if one does go down.

Oh... but to be fair I guess I'm probably one of those big b@stards blocking the escape windows these days!

----------


## Mendip

> A quite amazing line of work, I know it's not without its hassle but people would pay for the experiences you've had/are having. I'm still struggling to get past the lack of booze though.


somtamslap, in 30 years this is only the third time I've had a trip anything like this, sailing through the Norwegian islands. For the vast majority of trips all I see is sea, for weeks on end, from horizon to horizon.

And as for no booze... it really isn't a problem. And that's coming from someone who rarely has a dry day when off work.

But... I must admit the first thing I'll do when I get off this damn boat is have a pint!

My trip has just been extended to around 20 September... that'll be eight weeks dry... and I'll be gagging for one!

----------


## Headworx

> ^ Ootai, it's not the 'heights' aspect that makes me hate flying in helicopters, it's the fact that they are just metal boxes with rotors stuck on top... with all of the aerodynamic qualities of a brick.


A chopper pilot we had in PNG had a t-shirt that read _Helicopters don't fly, they beat the air into submission._ Pretty true if you think about it!  :Smile: 
That same pilot died in a crash some years later I heard, can't remember his name except for Bob and he flew for Pacific Helicopters who Ootai would know.

----------


## Saint Willy

> My trip has just been extended to around 20 September... that'll be eight weeks dry... and I'll be gagging for one!


But good for the $$$

----------


## Saint Willy

One of my mates was a geologist in Indonesia and used to fly helicopters semi regularly, I think for surveys etc. 

One time one of them went down and he passed away.

Fragile machinery, in the air, over rough terrain, maintained in Indonesia.

----------


## Mendip

A nice morning after shift today.

Another 20 or so of these and I should be back on land again...



(somtamslap... this is my usual view)

----------


## Dillinger

Looks rather lonely out there mate. I suspect it's not just helicopters beating the surrounding air into submission :Smile: 

Nice thread.

----------


## Headworx

^No gardener to sneak up on him out there. Need to keep an eye out for Seaman Stanes though  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> Looks rather lonely out there mate. I suspect it's not just helicopters beating the surrounding air into submission
> 
> Nice thread.





> ^No gardener to sneak up on him out there. Need to keep an eye out for Seaman Stanes though


Siemens used to have an office in Staines, in West London. Maybe they still do. Yes, when you rang their exchange their operator answered:
"Siemens Staines."

----------


## katie23

^Lol. 

@mendip - hang in there. Tell your Filipino mates to cook decent corned beef!  :Smile:  TGIF!  :Very Happy:

----------


## tomcat

> Tell your Filipino mates to cook decent corned beef!


...they'd be miracle workers if they did...might be useful as shark repellent though...

----------


## hallelujah

Probably too cold, but that water does look very inviting for a Peter Kay top bombing!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Probably


No probably about it!

----------


## Mendip

^^ It's 13 degrees at the moment if you fancy it, but will soon start cooling down with the onset of winter.

They say you'll survive around 20 minutes if you fall in the sea around here. The Norwegians have special survival suits for working in their sector, but even then it's a bit chilly in the water.





> Looks rather lonely out there mate. I suspect it's not just helicopters beating the surrounding air into submission
> 
> Nice thread.



There's always someone to make a smutty comment like that!  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

I guess that kind of things does go on, but I'm lucky... I can go long periods without any carnal pleasures. Married life has trained me well.

And as for Seaman Stanes... you'd have to be careful, the beds get made up by the Filipina stewardesses every day!

All said and done though... it'd be good to exercise the right arm somehow... there's no pints to pick up here.

----------


## Saint Willy

I’d imagine there’d be strict rules against fraternization?

----------


## Mendip

^ No rules but it rarely ends well... There's no secrets on a boat.

I reckon that a couple of the Filipinos are getting friendly on here.

Many years ago when I was still active (and pretty naive) I shared my bunk with a pretty blonde Norwegian stewardess after a port call. This was back when alcohol was still abundant and every port call was party time. 

I soon realised why no-one else had been interested... she was nuts. I had another three weeks on that boat... a small ex-trawler... and there was no escaping it. 

Was I ever glad when that job finished.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I soon realised why no-one else had been interested... she was nuts. I had another three weeks on that boat... a small ex-trawler... and there was no escaping it.


Oh lordy, that makes good sense. But I imagine a temptation every now and then, nonetheless.

----------


## David48atTD

> I can go long periods without any carnal pleasures. 
> 
> Married life has trained me well.



 :rofl:

----------


## lom

> she was nuts. I had another three weeks on that boat... a small ex-trawler... and there was no escaping it.


Lucky you! 
(Sorry but I don't understand the problem.)

----------


## Headworx

> I soon realised why no-one else had been interested... she was nuts.


The loons can be awesome! Just put a Hannibal Lecter mask on them first, keep a Taser handy, and call them by their sisters name. You may have missed out on a life long memory there Mendip  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> The loons can be awesome!



Yup, nothing bangs like crazy.

----------


## Headworx

^Damn straight! Forget the dangers and get in there  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

^ & ^^ you must all miss a certain woman, then.. With the initials of Z & A...  :Very Happy: 

Cheers everyone and happy Sunday!

P. S. 
@headworx - for you, I'll bring out the elephant pants & do a happy dance.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Headworx

^KT I haven't seen anyone wearing Elephant pants since tourists got locked out. Make of this whatever you will  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> @headworx - for you, I'll bring out the elephant pants & do a happy dance.

----------


## cyrille

> ^ & ^^ you must all miss a certain woman, then.. With the initials of Z & A..


don't forget P & B

(Surely a massive hole blown in their approach there.  :Very Happy: )

----------


## Saint Willy

She's not crazy, more just whinny, screamy, 'me! me! me!' type. 

*shudder*

----------


## Headworx

^And totally un-rootable. If anyone saved the topless pic of herself that she posted, in the name of all that's holy _please_ don't re-post it  :Sad:

----------


## cyrille

> She's not crazy


Let's agree to disagree on that one.  :Very Happy: 

Anyway...off topic.

 :Sorry1:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Let's agree to disagree on that one. 
> 
> Anyway...off topic.



very much sorry, sorry Mendip!

----------


## Klondyke

> a small ex-trawler... and there was no escaping it.


However, let's admit: In a life threatening situation and if it could save your life you could surely succumb that sacrifice, couldn't you?

----------


## Mendip

^ Klondyke... I look back at my younger self and my conduct on that boat and think, 'what a complete twat!' 

If I had that same opportunity again I'd lock the cabin door, throw the key out the port hole and give her a good seeing to for three weeks. It would take a crowbar to get me out of there these days!

Believe me, I'd have behaved very differently if I'd have known that 30 years later my sex life would be reduced to sessions on Pornhub after waiting for the gardener to go out.

 I still remember that stewardess... I've rarely gone for blondes in the past but she had that Scandinavian platinum blonde, almost white hair and you couldn't help but get aroused. Barking mad as well... with hindsight absolutely perfect. The only blonde I've ever really fallen for was one of my first 'proper' girlfriends, a dirty blonde from Wedmore in Somerset... and I'm not talking about the shade of her hair!  :Smile: 

Anyway, this thread seems to be going way off topic. I blame Dillinger... one inappropriate comment implying the boat is full of 50 spank-happy sex starved offshore workers furiously wanking away for 12 hours a day while off shift, and it's opened the floodgates... so to speak.

I'll try and bring it back round to work later when I get time.

----------


## Dillinger

I'm in the same boat as you at the mo Mendy, here grab my wooden oar and sing us a shanty . :Smile:

----------


## fishlocker

Dilly always could bring a thread about.  Screams starboard and the tillars spin.
More on point we, miss fish and I wish you fair winds and following seas. 
 On another note my stepdaughter came up to visit from Tennessee. Lives near the Hermitage.  Some history there. More to the point I brought out the big telescope and we looked at the moon. It's ours, yours and all. Enjoy the stars on your off time and remind yourself you are one for your daughter's sake. If not for you she wouldn't be where she is today. 
 On another plane remember when star charts were priceless. Oh, lets not go there. May get lost. Thank the heavens for GPS. All the best and good luck.

The fish.

----------


## Dillinger

^ I thought you were in jail til the next Millenium?

That must have been some serious arse licking let me outta jail photothread :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

We finished the project up at Norne a couple of days ago and are now working further south near Åsgard. Another seabed mapping project for another new development... means more work for the future with any luck.

Another nice evening tonight... it's not so lonely here as there's platforms, drilling rigs and boats all over the place.

----------


## katie23

^Lol. That Luigi guy does get around!  :Very Happy: 

@david48 - thanks for the music & the laugh. I remember that, and doing the running man! Cheers!  :Smile:

----------


## Klondyke

> I'll try and bring it back round to work later when I get time.


Fair enough....

----------


## fishlocker



----------


## Mendip

> I'm in the same boat as you at the mo Mendy, here grab my wooden oar and sing us a shanty .


I'm not grabbing anything mate.

This thread started to show my commute to work, but I guess a commute is to work and back home again... and who knows when that could be.

So, apologies in advance but this could be a long thread... I'm just gonna keep on going, maybe for months. I'm not at all sure I'll be able to get back home to Korat this year.

How to fill it? I think the topic of masturbating has been exhausted (at least I hope so) so how about a bit about work? I think Ootai at least may be interested while he has his morning coffee in Isaan... (lucky bugger)

Anyway...

For seabed mapping projects we collect three main types of data... multibeam echosounder, side scan sonar and sub-bottom profiler. The relevant sensor equipment is usually fixed to the ROV but may be towed behind the vessel or mounted to the vessel hull.

First up... multibeam echosounder. I guess most people are familiar with an echosounder a ship uses to find the water depth. A sound pulse is sent down to the seabed, it bounces back and the two way travel time of the pulse is measured. You know the speed of sound through water, so it's easy to work out water depth. A multibeam echosounder works the same way, but a constant stream of hundreds of sound pulses in narrow beams are sent in an arc to the seabed from the ROV, and the time taken for each sound pulse to return is measured. A typical frequency may be around 450 kHz.

A map of the seabed can be produced from the multibeam echosounder data.

Here's the typical seabed from northern Norway. The huge furrows are iceberg ploughmarks, formed maybe 10,000 to 12,000 years ago at the end of the last glaciation when the ice shelf broke up. The ice became mobile and icebergs drifted about, dragging their bottoms through the seabed (sea level was maybe 150m lower in this part of the world back then since so much water was locked up as ice). These ploughmarks maybe many tens of metres wide and 10m or so deep, and each one marks the path of an ancient drifting iceberg. These will have obvious consequences to the lay comfort of a pipeline and influence route design.



Shipwrecks can be detected by the multibeam echosounder, although side scan sonar is the equipment of choice for searching for debris, shipwrecks, or more recently aeroplanes on the seabed. For aeroplanes you're looking for the engines... they are generally the only recognisable component to remain intact on the seabed after a plane hits the sea and breaks up.

Here's a 65m long shipwreck we found a while ago almost across a proposed pipeline route we were surveying. The route had to make a slight detour. Wrecks don't look great in echosounder data. 

It's always a strange feeling to find a shipwreck as it may well mark the place where people have died. This one was probably a fishing boat and if it went down before radio, then as far as people on land were concerned it would have just disappeared. There may be some family on the west coast of Norway who talk about Great Grandad Sven-Ole who disappeared in the big storm of 1895... or something like that. 

Makes you think...

----------


## Edmond

Very cool.




> These ploughmarks maybe many tens of metres wide and 10m or so deep, and each one marks the path of an ancient drifting iceberg. These will have obvious consequences to the lay comfort of a pipeline and influence route design.


What happens in such an instance? For example a 10m x 10m plough mark. It's presumably pretty damn long, so going over it would most likely be necessary, I'm guessing, do the pipes sometimes need support columns to bridge such a gap?

----------


## Shutree

^^ Interesting stuff.

When you find a wreck, is there a process or a requirement to report it somewhere?

----------


## lom

> The relevant sensor equipment is usually fixed to the ROV but may be towed behind the vessel or mounted to the vessel hull.


I've just been reading about Ramform Tethys which you were not far away from some weeks ago, that is a very special vessel.

----------


## Saint Willy

Super interesting stuff, Mendip. I know sweet FA about it.

----------


## OhOh

> seabed mapping projects


The route of the survey is presumably decided initially as a straight line, with possible links to existing pipelines. 

 If you find an area where due to multiple obstructions etc. do you run a parallel survey which may be more over a more suitable route or is that left to the land office to decide and a return survey ship is brought in later?

What width of seabed can you survey in one pass?

What depth to seabed can the ship attached radars "illuminate/record" the information?

Who supplies the radar hardware and software, European, USA , Asian .... ?

What specs are your computers, hardware and software, normal off the shelf PC or high spec monsters?

One hopes the ROV videos are more exiting to watch.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ OhOh... after an initial route proposal a reconnaissance survey may be carried out, as were doing up at Wisting.  We covered about a kilometre wide corridor of seabed within which the client will hopefully design their final route. We found one major obstruction and had to carry out further survey to widen the corridor in that area to hopefully find a suitable corridor of seabed around the obstruction.

All of our survey sensors are mounted on an ROV. The higher altitude the ROV flies, the wider the swath we can cover. For example flying at 100m altitude we covered a seabed swath around 450m, so we did two adjacent survey lines like that and one low altitude, high detail survey along the centre. The wider the swath, the lower the resolution the data is... with also survey speed playing a role in data density. We tend to use low frequency settings for greater range, high frequency for smaller range. Low frequency is low resolution (high range), high frequency is high resolution (low range). A with anything there is a compromise between cost and quality. High resolution surveys are more expensive as we have to carry out more survey lines and use a slower survey speed.

After the reconnaissance surveys there will probably be a detailed survey covering the route that has been decided upon... maybe a year later. That will be high resolution and maybe cover a 200m wide swath of seabed. Immediately before the eventual pipe lay a visual 'pre-lay' survey will be carried out to make sure there has been no new obstructions added, ie dropped debris or shipwrecks.

Our depth limitation is how deep the ROV can go, since that is our survey platform, not the vessel. I've been on ROV surveys down to around 2.2km water depth... but  I think 3km is generally no problem these days.

European and American hardware/software.

Off the shelf computers, but I'm sure they have upgraded memory and RAM.

Like anything... it's interesting at first but after 5 weeks of 12 hour shifts my motivation is waning.

----------


## Mendip

> Very cool.
> 
> 
> 
> What happens in such an instance? For example a 10m x 10m plough mark. It's presumably pretty damn long, so going over it would most likely be necessary, I'm guessing, do the pipes sometimes need support columns to bridge such a gap?


A 10m deep ploughmark would probably be at least 80m or so wide, and their side walls are rarely steeper than 30 degrees. A cable will mold to the seabed but a rigid pipeline will require additional support, usually in the form of dumped gravel to fill the depression. The shoulders of the ploughmark may be pre-dredged also, to further smooth the relief.

----------


## Mendip

> ^^ Interesting stuff.
> 
> When you find a wreck, is there a process or a requirement to report it somewhere?


I think all wrecks will be added to a register. Usually at some point, maybe during a later survey campaign, some time will be spent to visually inspect a wreck in the hopes of identifying it, but that depends on how generous the client is. Everything costs money.

----------


## Mendip

> I've just been reading about Ramform Tethys which you were not far away from some weeks ago, that is a very special vessel.


Lom... your powers of detection are obviously not limited to Coco's thread!

Yes, we had to break off survey a couple of times to make way for the Ramform Tethys. She's a seismic survey vessel, very advanced and can tow some 20 odd streamers at a time. The streamers may be 1km or so long (I think) so she has a very poor turning circle and they get extremely annoyed if a vessel causes them to go off their survey line. We can just stop the ROV and vessel, so have to give way. There is a strict order of priority in this industry.

I was hoping to get a picture of the Ramform Tethys while we were up at Wisting but we were never allowed close enough.

From the net... hopefully.

----------


## Saint Willy

Wow, that’s an interesting piece of kit

----------


## Edmond

> A 10m deep ploughmark would probably be at least 80m or so wide, and their side walls are rarely steeper than 30 degrees. A cable will mold to the seabed but a rigid pipeline will require additional support, *usually in the form of dumped gravel* to fill the depression.


Cool, cheers. I didn't expect that.


Without wanting to go too _OhOh._ How do they get the gravel down to the spots that needs bridging? 

Is there a lead gravel-ship that leads the way when the pipe is being laid? 

And how do they get it down to the exact spot, I'm kinda imagining a helicopter dropping water on a forest fire, that just scatters and spreads it all over the place. 



It'd be pretty cool if there are gravel engineers that joy-stick it down like a Tetris computer game.  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

Yet another top thread and a guaranteed Golden Teakdoor Boot for Mendip come the annual end of season polls!

----------


## Saint Willy

> It'd be pretty cool if there are gravel engineers that joy-stick it down like a Tetris computer game.


I would think so. Dropping a bucket on a line, to release close to site. Because otherwise this...






> I'm kinda imagining a helicopter dropping water on a forest fire, that just scatters and spreads it all over the place.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ The gravel is poured down a chute that extends down to the seabed. There's an ROV at the bottom of the chute for positioning and maneuverability. These rock dumpers are big beasts with JCBs and bulldozers on the back deck to keep the gravel flowing.

The seabed will be prepared well in advance of a pipe lay, so no need for a lead ship. You can't risk delaying a lay barge spread. Many cables and pipelines will be covered in gravel after the lay for protection against trawling etc. Unless anything goes very wrong the gravel dumping is usually inch perfect these days as positioning is so good. We may get involved with pre and post rock dump surveys to ensure the necessary volume of gravel has been dumped in the right place.

Rock dumping is big business, costs a small fortune and the Dutch have it sewn up...I guess it's just an extension from their dredging expertise. As with anything there's more to it then meets the eye. Rock berms are built up using several layers of different grades of gravel for maximum stability. Rock with low iron content id preferable since any ferrous content screws up the pipetrackers we use to determine depth of pipeline burial during surveys.

The _Rolling Stone_ is a 'famous' rock dumping vessel... well, famous in offshore pipeline circles anyway.

----------


## OhOh

My apologies I miss read your post, thinking the initial survey utilised sensors on the ships hull.

Does your software alert the person watching the video feed in realtime or is it up to the operator to identify any anomaly/unexpected event ?




> Without wanting to go too OhOh


Not having any experience of managing subsea surveys, unlike yourself,  I may ask simple questions. To educate myself, along with I hope many reading this thread, here on TD.

Every "industry" has their own meta language which may be unfamiliar to us Joe Bloggs. :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Lom... your powers of detection are obviously not limited to Coco's thread!


I happened to notice it when you mentioned Wisting and I checked the marinetraffic site to see where you were, nearby to you was a pearl band of brown dots which identified as Ram Tethys Cable and that made me curious.
(Curiosity is a ferkin disease of mine which has been itching me since I was a toddler, can't get rid of it)

----------


## Edmond

> The gravel is poured down a chute that extends down to the seabed.


That makes sense.  :Smile:  

Cool info in that post, cheers.

----------


## Klondyke

Mendip,
what do you explain to us innocent is quite a unknown knowledge about all the associated activities to the cable (or a pipeline) laying. It's not just to lay a cable and bye-bye, never see again. 

So, there are companies that can do the job with more or with less quality of these additional activities.  Is there any QC institution that supervise whether everything has been done as per specs?   And I assume that for each project a detailed specs is created that different companies are bidding for.

----------


## Mendip

> My apologies I miss read your post, thinking the initial survey utilised sensors on the ships hull.
> 
> Does your software alert the person watching the video feed in realtime or is it up to the operator to identify any anomaly/unexpected event ?


No problem... surveys are often conducted using vessel hull mounted multibeam systems, usually in conjunction with a towed 'fish', a torpedo-like gadget fitted with side scan sonar and sub-bottom profiler. The problem with using vessel mounted equipment is that the ships movement (pitch and roll) effects the data, with errors exaggerated the deeper the water. The ROV is independent of the ships movement and gives a stable survey platform, making us less weather dependent for some surveys.

The online surveyor can watch all data coming in, in real time, and will hopefully alert us to anything significant... but in reality... (there is wifi throughout this boat)

It used to be possible to monitor real time video coming in during visual surveys. but now for some surveys the survey speed can be so fast (4 to 5 knots) traditional video can't be used due to resolution limitations. A new system being piloted takes rapid HD digital stills which later have to be stitched together. They are impossible to view in real time.




> Mendip,
> what do you explain to us innocent is quite a unknown knowledge about all the associated activities to the cable (or a pipeline) laying. It's not just to lay a cable and bye-bye, never see again. 
> 
> So, there are companies that can do the job with more or with less quality of these additional activities.  Is there any QC institution that supervise whether everything has been done as per specs?   And I assume that for each project a detailed specs is created that different companies are bidding for.


The fabrication of any cable, or pipeline lengths in the yard, is subject to stringent QC. For a pipeline, the corrosion coating and reinforced concrete weight coat will be subject to regular NDT and all well documented. On a lay barge every weld (field joint) joining the 12m pipe lengths is xrayed and documented.

When a pipeline is laid, first an as-laid survey is carried out to document position and condition. Following flooding, pigging, any intervention works and hooking up to well-heads etc an as-built survey is carried out. This documents the condition of the pipeline on commissioning and handing over to the operator. All surveys are overseen by a client representative from the future pipeline operator. The operator will have to get government permission and a license to operate the pipeline and I imagine the various survey reports will be included in the mountain of paperwork assessed. In Norway it's the Norwegian Petroleum Directorate (NPD) who issue licenses to operate pipelines (I think). In the UK it would be the DoE. 

All subsea assets have to surveyed/inspected according to guidelines to allow the operator to keep producing hydrocarbons. This may include a visual introspection every four years and acoustic inspections in between, etc etc, depending on location and vulnerability.

Everything is heavily controlled by bureaucracy, which is great for a greedy day-rater as it produces more work! As I mentioned before, the wonderful thing about inspection is that the work carries on regardless of the state of the industry.


But today we are surveying the seabed for another new development (Halten Øst) that will tie in to existing infrastructure at Åsgard in the Norwegian Sea. New developments are also good for a greedy day-rater since it means there will be construction work followed by an increased inspection load in the future! Norway is looking very buoyant just now... despite the best efforts by Covid.

The ROV being launched today to survey a future route... the Transocean Norge drilling a production well for the same project.

----------


## Saint Willy

> also good for a greedy day-rater


A day rater being someone paid per days they work. Contract work, such as yourself?

What other options exist? Someone employed full time by BP or an employer like that?

----------


## ootai

Mendip
As I sit and enjoy my morning coffee I just want to say thanks for the technical information it is very interesting.
I am also impressed by the way you have virtually future proofed your employment prospects but increasing your qualifications.
I hate to admit it but maybe there such a thing as a "smart" geologist after all!

Have you had much to do with the placement of the "gravel"?  I used inverted comma's as to me they are rocks not gravel, gravel is what they use to built roads and is a much smaller particle size that what they are placing.  The reason i ask is because I am interested in the placement rate they achieve and the wear sustained on/in the drop pipe.

I wonder what they did in the days before there were computers?

----------


## lom

> I wonder what they did in the days before there were computers?

----------


## katie23

@mendip - thanks for the pics & stories. Yes, keep this thread going. The info is interesting to land-based mammals like me (and others here). Like ootai, I sometimes browse TD during my morning coffee or during work-breaks (am not interested in the pissfights or mongering threads, which seem to be surfacing the past few days, heh). Cheers & keep on keeping on!  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> I'm missing my morning cup of tea


I thought you'd have someone local back in Blighty keeping you supplied with the West Country brew. I brought some of this back last trip and it is way better than PG Tips. At the risk of starting something, I'd say I prefer it to the (also good) Yorkshire tea.

Attachment 56944

And while I'm here, maybe someone can explain to me why the first time I upload the image it refuses my every effort to enlarge but the second time in the same message the same image will enlarge.

----------


## OhOh

> I wonder what they did in the days before there were computers?


I believe there were not so many oil and gas pipelines around in the 60's and 70's. The processing platform was positioned over largest field the gas and oil clensed and then pumped ashore. The smaller ones were not viable. 

Nowadays there are lots of the smaller fields linked to a master processing platform or as we have seen here in this thread, a floating storage and processing platform.  

They sent these guys down with a crayon and a board. Annual surveys to find any problems, plan of action devised and the necessary equipments and divers taken to the offshore platforms and down they went.:




Here's a link to a BBC radio programme describing their risks and rewards. In the 1970's allegedly £18 per day.

Witness History - Pioneer North Sea Divers - BBC Sounds

----------


## Headworx

^I had a friend years ago who was an oilfield diver, got his training in the NZ Navy then made a good (but fairly brief) career out of diving under offshore installations. Made a ton of money but his stories of the depths they use to go to and what it was like being that far down scared the shit out of me. No thank you!

----------


## Mendip

> A day rater being someone paid per days they work. Contract work, such as yourself?
> 
> What other options exist? Someone employed full time by BP or an employer like that?


Yeah... day-rater, freelancer, freeloader... there's many terms. Because the industry can be so erratic the contractors have to rely on a certain number of freelance personnel, or else risk the expense of a load of staff during a downturn. Many spreads run on around 60% staff / 40% freelance. I work for the contractors but there will be a client rep on board from the oil company we're working for, eg BP as you mentioned. This current work is for Equinor (Statoil). The client reps from the oil companies tend to be staff company guys, although when things get busy of course more freelancers turn up.

Personally I can't see the point of being staff in such an unstable industry... these days picking up just one decent contract can save a contractor, or at least see them through another year. Staff guys claim they have more security, and maybe they do get some kind of a reliable work rota... but they'll be dropped like a stone during a downturn. 

For me, once I finish this work I'm free to head straight to another contractor who have more work during the winter. I never say no and work long trips... the contractors don't get that from their staff. 





> "smart" geologist...


I've been called a lot of things... but never been accused of that before.

Praise indeed from a mining engineer... that must have hurt!

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> 
> Have you had much to do with the placement of the "gravel"?  I used inverted comma's as to me they are rocks not gravel, gravel is what they use to built roads and is a much smaller particle size that what they are placing.  The reason i ask is because I am interested in the placement rate they achieve and the wear sustained on/in the drop pipe.
> 
> I wonder what they did in the days before there were computers?


Yes Ootai... as a geologist I should be more aware of my Wentworth's scale, but we have to dumb things down for the engineers!

The 'gravel' dumped is much larger than gravel and the term 'gravel dump' is a generic one used in the industry, although they are often called 'rock dumps' as well, which should please you. I would say the particle size would be more akin to cobbles (64mm to 256mm).

We carry out an inspection, and if for example a pipeline has a lot of long freespans (unsupported sections) it may be 'rock' dumped for stabilisation and support, and to prevent further scouring. These days the tendency is to hold off rock dumping as the initial scoured freespans form as part of the self burying process, depending on the sediment. A self burying pipeline in sand saves a lot of money... although once you have boulder clay a pipeline will never bury itself.

Other small diameter flowlines may be rock dumped to prevent upheaval buckling... where a hot pipe will deflect upwards due to heat expansion. These flowlines are usually at a wellhead, and will first be trenched, and if that hasn't worked, will have rock dumped as well.

Cables and pipelines will also be rock dumped in trawling areas for protection.

I have never been involved with rock dumping, although we will maybe carry out a pre rock dump survey (with multibeam echosounder) and a post rock dump survey. Models of the seabed, pre and post dumping will be compared to calculate the volume of rock that has been dumped.

----------


## ootai

> I've been called a lot of things... but never been accused of that before.
> 
> Praise indeed from a mining engineer... that must have hurt!


You have no idea how much it hurt but I believe in giving credit when it is due.

As for the "Wentworth scale" I had to look it up on Google so in future please dumb it down a little more for me, thanks.

Many years ago I had an experience that really bought home the importance of defining exactly what you mean.
I was spending some time with a couple of Metallurgists and they were complaining about us Underground guys sending them too many "big rocks".
I asked them to describe what they meant by "big rocks" and they said anything that blocks the feeder under the ore stockpile, so probably anything larger than 6 inch (150mm) diameter.
I asked them if they had ever been underground and they hadn't so i arranged a trip for them to come with me for a look.
I took them to a stope that was in production and showed them what we (UG guys) called a "big rock" it was the size of a house and couldn't be moved using the remote loaders which were capable of lifting 15 tonne plus. To move it we would have to break it up somehow, how we did this is in itself is a long story.

Another aspect of "placing fill" which is how I would describe what you are doing when dumping gravel is what is the maximum particle size that can be placed.  The largest particle should be no more than 25% of the diameter of the hole/pipe it is going to be placed in.  The theory behind that is that any larger and they can form a bridge across the hole and cause a blockage.

Just in case you didn't know the weather here has been quiet hot lately so even if you did or were able to come back for a trip you would melt.

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ OhOh, a good friend of mine started in this industry in the early 80s, about ten years before me. In those pioneer days he carried out annual pipeline inspections from a manned sub. A pilot and observer were crammed into the two man sub, which was then flown along one side of the pipeline, and then turned around and flown along the other side, with the observer drawing diagrams and making notes in his notebook all the time... until the batteries started running out. Rather him than me.

Incidentally, I also used to know a manned sub pilot well. An Aussie guy, who before going offshore was a pilot in the Royal Air Force when he flew Vickers Valiants. He had some good stories to tell. There used to be a lot of ex forces guys working offshore but there seems to be many fewer now. I don't know why... maybe it has become too specialised.

ROVs transformed the industry in the 80s. The next big development will be AUVs (Autonomous Underwater Vehicles) where a mother ship will launch a fleet of AUVs which would be programmed to all independently carry out surveys of various pipelines, before being recovered and the data downloaded. The technology is just about there but a huge investment would have to be made to make it efficient and viable. Safety would be an obvious issue with unmanned vehicles flying around close to platforms.

----------


## Edmond

> The next big development will be AUVs (Autonomous Underwater Vehicles) where a mother ship will launch a fleet of AUVs which would be programmed to all independently carry out surveys of various pipelines, before being recovered and the data downloaded. The technology is just about there but a huge investment would have to be made to make it efficient and viable. Safety would be an obvious issue with unmanned vehicles flying around close to platforms.


Enter Elon Musk.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> I wonder what they did in the days before there were computers?


As with all industries, computers have transformed offshore work.

Just one small example... back in the early 90s when mobilising for a project we would pack boxes full of literally hundreds of floppy discs containing navigation files for the pipelines to be surveyed. Once out in the field, if we'd forgotten one floppy it would mean a return to shore, or more likely a helicopter to bring out the disc, which would then have to be transferred from a platform to our boat. Now of course all that will be done with an email attachment.

The biggest transformation I have seen was the introduction of GPS. Before satellite positioning we relied on survey land base stations and it was hit and miss if we were anywhere near where we though we were. GPS changed all that... at first it was accurate to around 17m but the first Gulf War changed that, and once the Americans took out the error code it became metre accurate, at least for surface positioning. That was when we discovered that buried pipelines we thought we'd been surveyed every year were in fact 200m from our survey lines.






> I thought you'd have someone local back in Blighty keeping you supplied with the West Country brew. I brought some of this back last trip and it is way better than PG Tips. At the risk of starting something, I'd say I prefer it to the (also good) Yorkshire tea.


Controversial to say the least... you've really put this Miles Tea up there on a pedestal. But as it's from the West Country I'll have to give it a try!

It's gone on my list... I just have to get it over to Norway somehow.





> Enter Elon Musk.


Other people will have a much better knowledge than me... but my understanding is that once Elon Musk has his low orbit satellite network up and running it'll transform data streaming capabilities... and then data acquired offshore will be streamed to offices for interpretation and processing. That will change things big time... I hope it doesn't happen too soon as I need another 10 years out of this.

----------


## cyrille

> you've really put this Miles Tea up there on a pedestal. But as it's from the West Country...


It's not from the West Country though is it, any more than Yorkshire tea is from Yorkshire.

All a bit silly, really.

----------


## Mendip

^ Hence my tongue in cheek comment.


Another type of data we collect during seabed surveys is side scan sonar. Old technology that's been around for ages but it still has a place. Whereas the multibeam echosounder measures distance from sensor to seabed, so you can build a 3D model of the seabed, side scan sonar displays the intensity of returns. 

Sound pulses are transmitted and received after bouncing back off the seabed. The more reflective the seabed the stronger the return. Sand will give a stronger return than fine clay, etc, and with experience you can picture the seabed sediments from the side scan sonar record. Seabed objects, known as targets, will give a very strong return since they offer a greater angle of incidence and less of the transmitted signal is reflected away. Any object offering relief will produce a shadow (from the transmitted signal) therefore for a debris search you tune in to look for shadows (and straight lines for man made objects). Imagine a torch being shone across the floor.

Side scan sonar gives a 2D record of the seabed. Here's fine marine clay (low reflectivity) with hard boulder clay coming close to the surface (higher reflectivity with targets/boulders). The linear features are trawl scars. The record was collected at 75m range (75m either side of the ROV. The path of the ROV is marked by the central strip).



Compare this to a 3D model made from multibeam echosounder data which gives a 3D model but no indication of texture (purely distance from sensor). If you combine the two you get the seabed profile with sediment texture.

Boulders along the shoulders of an iceberg ploughmark in a 3D digital terrain  model from multibeam data. Engineers like this kind of presentation because it's so easy to visualise the seabed.



Mosaics can be made by combining many strips of side scan data. This can be for a site survey before a template or platform is installed, or to cover a search area ensuring all seabed within the search area is imaged. Here is a 700m x 700m site survey area. The linear high reflectivity is hard clay along the shoulders of iceberg ploughmarks, the low reflectivity is soft marine clay deposited in the troughs.



Side scan sonar is the tool of choice for a debris search. Anything offering relief should be resolved and produce a shadow (so long as you have a flattish seabed), and you're looking at raw data, so straight lines remain straight with no smoothing applied. Straight lines don't exist in nature so you tune in to that.

As with other sensors, high frequency sound pulses give better resolution but less range, low frequency vice versa. We use 600 kHz for 75m range and 200kHz for around 250m range. The search for MH370 used a fleet of AUVs collecting side scan sonar at lower frequencies still, but at ranges of 500m plus (I think). Each survey line by each AUV would therefore cover a 1km corridor of seabed.

A small wreck around 30m long from a route survey a while ago...



And a much better image of a wreck from a project many years ago. This one lay close to a proposed pipeline route.



I've posted the story of this wreck before.

Random offshore pics

----------


## Saint Willy

> That was when we discovered that buried pipelines we thought we'd been surveyed every year were in fact 200m from our survey lines.


 :rofl:

----------


## lom

> That was when we discovered that buried pipelines we thought we'd been surveyed every year were in fact 200m from our survey lines.


"Someone™ has moved the pipeline"

----------


## Neverna

> The next big development will be AUVs (Autonomous Underwater Vehicles) where a mother ship will launch a fleet of AUVs which would be programmed to all independently carry out surveys of various pipelines, before being recovered and the data downloaded. The technology is just about there but a huge investment would have to be made to make it efficient and viable.


I read about one in the news recently - last week I think. Did a job somewhere.

----------


## Mendip

^ It could have been the _Seabed Constructor_?

An old friend of mine on this boat worked on the Constructor during the search for MH370, although I have no idea what she's doing now.

This boat has a fleet of 8 AUVs, and uses unmanned surface vessels to receive satellite navigation and then relay acoustic positioning to the AUVs.





Sounds pretty advanced... and meanwhile I've spent 2 hours tonight battling with a printer trying to get a pdf to fill the page.

----------


## Mendip

We finished the project up north at the Åsgard field and spent nearly two days transiting southwards through bad weather. Now we're alongside at the CCB offshore base, just north of Bergen.

There's more bad weather forecast, which is bad for me because I've had enough of this work and have another job to go to, starting 21st September. 

Meanwhile we're mobilising for the next couple of weeks work.

Those huge metal cylinders on the quayside are suction anchors, used for the anchoring systems of FPSOs and the like.



And that yellow thing on the flatbed is a boulder grabber. An upcoming project for us requires the identification and removal of seabed boulders prior to template installations. 



Never a nice sight... these drill rigs should be out working. Hopefully they're just in for some refurb. There's the leg of a jack-up just visible at the left of the picture as well, left of the crane.



The COSLinnovator (yellow) and the Transocean Arctic behind are designed for deep water harsh environments.



And another drill rig and jack-up across the bay... it's unusual to see so many rigs not working at this time of the season in what was set to be a very busy year. Not a good sign, and hopefully not a long term consequence of Covid.

----------


## katie23

Thanks for the pics & stories, Mendip.

Have just read/ watched a news clip from a local news agency here about a ship which sank off the coast of Japan. It was a cargo ship carrying cattle & etc, and there was a strong storm. In the latest news, 3 ppl were recovered (2 alive). Most of the crew were Filipinos. Accdg to the news report (and the video), the ship was already tilting during the storm, then water started coming in. Since it was a local news report, they interviewed the family members of the lost crew members, who are hoping that their loved ones are still alive. Just shows the fragility of life & the unpredictability of nature.  Stay safe out there, Mendip.

Bbc news article:
Gulf Livestock 1: Japan finds second survivor from capsized ship - BBC News

News clip from 24 oras of GMA news (a PI network. It's in Taglish, but if anyone is interested in the vid - they have clips sent by the mariners to their relatives prior to the sinking - tilting of the ship, water coming in, pics of crew, etc). It's a Panamanian-flagged vessel.




Sorry for the derail - but yeah, life on a ship can be unpredictable. Stay safe.

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks for the thought Katie!

The oil and gas industry is very heavily regulated... I would say the most dangerous part of my work is the taxi ride from Korat to Suvarnabhumi and back again.

Unless of course I'm making new friends in a bar on Sukhumvit... then a few porkie pies may have been told!

----------


## ootai

> Boulders along the shoulders of an iceberg ploughmark in a 3D digital terrain  model from multibeam data. Engineers like this kind of presentation because it's so easy to visualise the seabed.
> 
> 
> 
> Random offshore pics


Off course we like this type of presentation as you need to keep things simple for us Engineers.
Just remember a picture is worth a 1000 words especially if those words are from he mouth of a Geologist.

As Katie said "stay safe".

----------


## Saint Willy

> Unless of course I'm making new friends in a bar on Sukhumvit... then a few porkie pies may have been told!


 :rofl:

----------


## Shutree

> It's not from the West Country though is it, any more than Yorkshire tea is from Yorkshire.


Well, that's burst my bubble. There I was, imagining the tea terraces across the Yorkshire moors and amidst the apple orchards of Somerset.

You'll be telling us next that Mars bars are secretly made on planet earth.

----------


## cyrille

Yes, I did realise that was not headline news for any of our posters with something between their ears.

In other words, I was talking to Chitty.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Edmond

Found myself on Google Maps and was pretty amazed at well they show the ocean floor mapped nowadays.






And all thanks to _Spend Every Working Hour Pissing About On The Net_ champions like Mendy.  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Sir Mendip, would the river valley looking thing at the top of my second pic have been formed by a river while above ground millennia ago? Or have been formed by some under water geological process?

----------


## Saint Willy

> Sir Mendip, would the river valley looking thing at the top of my second pic have been formed by a river while above ground millennia ago? Or have been formed by some under water geological process?


He mentioned before that's been carved by icebergs.

----------


## Edmond

> would the river valley looking thing at the top of my second pic have been formed by a river while above ground millennia ago? Or have been formed by some under water geological process?








> He mentioned before that's been carved by icebergs.



If that's been carved by icebergs my name's Donkey Kong Willy King.  :Smile: 


So hopefully it hasn't.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

I think we might be referring to different pictures. 

You're safe. Probably.

----------


## Mendip

> Sir Mendip, would the river valley looking thing at the top of my second pic have been formed by a river while above ground millennia ago? Or have been formed by some under water geological process?


Donkey Kong Willy King, those are classic iceberg features.

But I won't call you that if you stop calling me 'Sir', it makes me uncomfortable. Only the wife calls me 'Sir', or was it 'wanker', I can't remember now.





> He mentioned before that's been carved by icebergs.


No, sadly not carved by icebergs. The water's too deep and I reckon it's too far south. They look like canyons formed by submarine landslides at the edge of the continental shelf to me, they form turbidite deposits.





If you're interested in this, then Google the Storegga Slide... a huge submarine land slide off Norway around 8000 years ago that was supposed to have triggered a mega tsunami across the southern North Sea area. Many years ago I worked on pipeline routes up the slide escarpment (which has around a 30 degree slope) for the Ormen Lange gas field... which provides 20% of the UK's gas needs.


^^^^^

The top pic shows the Mid Atlantic Ridge... where new ocean floor is being created. America and Europe are diverging by about 1 inch a year, which many may think is a good thing.

I've never worked in that area but it's regularly surveyed to find cable routes across the Atlantic.

About 60 million years ago when Pangea broke up and America first separated from Europe, the north west of Scotland very nearly joined The States and if it had, would now be across the other side of the Atlantic. I guess many people will have their views on that as well!

I didn't really expect to delve into Plate Tectonics in this thread... the original aim was just a few pictures while I was travelling to work...

----------


## Edmond

Men something new every dip.


Cheers Mendy.

----------


## baldrick

> If that's been carved by icebergs my name's Donkey Kong Willy King


melting icebergs when the sea level was lower  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Tonight... waiting on weather at the Oseberg field... about mid-way between Norway and The Shetlands.

Six weeks down, two to go... I could do without any more delays.

----------


## Mendip

More bad weather...

Off the bows past my helideck...




And astern...




I'm starting to get worried now about my next job the more this one gets delayed. It's my own fault mind for trying to be clever... should have known better at this time of year.

----------


## Mendip

A lot of things you landlubbers take for granted change when working offshore in bad weather.

You can't put a cup of coffee on a table without a grippy mat... or you'll be wearing it.

Meal times can be carnage if the skipper turns the boat around in bad weather.



Every corridor has railings, not just the stairways (that's my cabin on the right).



And the most dangerous part of the day... the morning shower. You wouldn't risk that without a handle on the wall to grab hold of. More accidents happen in the shower than anywhere else.



And even taking a leak is a risk. Remember the old adage... one hand for the boat, one for yourself!  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

^ I'm gonna wish I never asked..... what's the squeegee down there for?

----------


## Saint Willy

> I'm starting to get worried now about my next job the more this one gets delayed. It's my own fault mind for trying to be clever... should have known better at this time of year.


bugger. good luck.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ I'm gonna wish I never asked..... what's the squeegee down there for?


Cleaning up spilled water or other liquids.

----------


## CalEden

> We finished the project up north at the Åsgard field and spent nearly two days transiting southwards through bad weather. Now we're alongside at the CCB offshore base, just north of Bergen.
> 
> There's more bad weather forecast, which is bad for me because I've had enough of this work and have another job to go to, starting 21st September. 
> 
> Meanwhile we're mobilising for the next couple of weeks work.
> 
> Those huge metal cylinders on the quayside are suction anchors, used for the anchoring systems of FPSOs and the like.
> 
> 
> ...


COSLinnovator (yellow) the life boat chutes seem to be awfully high above the water. Appears to me would need motorcycle type crash helmet and pretty extensive restraning harnes to prevent injuries when life boat impacts sea.

----------


## Saint Willy

perhaps they extend downwards?

----------


## Mendip

> ^ I'm gonna wish I never asked..... what's the squeegee down there for?





> Cleaning up spilled water or other liquids.


Yeah... lets just leave it at that!

If they're using the big crane on the back deck, for instance, the boat will take on a heavy list and maybe the shower water won't drain away... same goes for other 'liquids' I'd imagine.

Cal, these are known as free fall life boats, designed to get you away from trouble as quickly as possible. The traditional life boats are cranked down to sea using a handle and pulleys, but that can take a long time. The free fall life boats may have been a recommendation after Piper Alpha, when guys were jumping off the helideck to escape the fire. I've never been in one... thankfully.

KW, those are called escape chutes and practise of their use is part of the the Norwegian safety course. I've never been in one 81m tall... I think maybe 10m max for the survival courses.

----------


## Saint Willy

phaaark me. 

I get sweaty just watching those videos.

----------


## Headworx

^You get a lot sweatier if you decided to stay aboard something with a raging fire coming your way! There's video out there of one of them dropping from a much lower height that goes in nose first then rebounds back out of the water before doing a full turn in the air then going back into the water. _That_ would have been scary.

Edit Found it.

----------


## lom

> I'm starting to get worried now about my next job the more this one gets delayed.


Helicopter? Ship to ship transfer in the open sea?

 :Sorry1:

----------


## Saint Willy

^^ it wallows side to side like a big assed sea cow. 

I reckon a few hours in one of them in choppy seas would end up filling with  :Puke:

----------


## baldrick

> More accidents happen in the shower than anywhere else


shampoo bottles ?  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> shampoo bottles ?


That and Lipstick

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah well... you know what the Scandinavians are like...

And whoever invented detachable caps for shampoo bottles anyway?

----------


## Saint Willy

> And whoever invented detachable caps for shampoo bottles anyway?


Ribbed ones.

----------


## helge

> And whoever invented detachable caps for shampoo bottles anyway?


Safe to assume, that the Brits are innocent there

Have they ever invented anything 'soap related' ?

 :Smile:

----------


## Neverna

> And even taking a leak is a risk. Remember the old adage... one hand for the boat, one for yourself!


Much like trying to take a leak on a bus from Korat to Bangkok. Although that would be no problem to an old sea dog like you.

----------


## Dillinger

Look at the muscle in that right wrist....then look into the mirrored surface of what he's holding and you can see he's bollock naked.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Look at the muscle in that right wrist....then look into the mirrored surface of what he's holding and you can see he's bollock naked.


 :Puke: 


pervert! 

You are the mystery Gardner!

----------


## Shutree

> Look at the muscle in that right wrist....then look into the mirrored surface of what he's holding and you can see he's bollock naked.


Too much information.

----------


## Iceman123

> Look at the muscle in that right wrist....then look into the mirrored surface of what he's holding and you can see he's bollock naked.


Lens replacement surgery worked a treat.

----------


## Mendip

> Much like trying to take a leak on a bus from Korat to Bangkok. Although that would be no problem to an old sea dog like you.


You're not wrong Nev... no handle to hang on to in those bus toilets mind. 

Many's the time I've disembarked a bus at Morchit with a wet patch in my crotch. 

I usually save it until the U-turn at the overpass after Don Muang when in theory the bus should be stuck in traffic and going nice and slow, but I reckon the bus drivers see me in their rear view mirror and slam on the brakes right at the critical moment.





> Look at the muscle in that right wrist....then look into the mirrored surface of what he's holding and you can see he's bollock naked.


I used to do a lot of fly fishing... I've always had a stronger right wrist than left.

I've also got strong fingers cos I was forced to play the violin as a kid. 

I remember my mum used to tell me a story about a Jewish woman who was being transported to one of the concentration camps in a train cattle truck, but managed to open the lock with her fingers because they were so strong from playing the violin. My mum reckoned a load of people then escaped. I have no idea if this is true or if my mum made it up, but either way with hindsight it seems a strange story to tell to encourage a kid to keep playing an instrument.

If you look long enough at clouds in the sky, eventually you'll see what you want to see. I re-enacted and checked that picture today for my peace of mind, and suffice to say I'm very glad there was a well placed screw in the lower wall bracket!

Note to self... double and triple check any pic before posting, because you just never know what kind of warped, perverted people may be viewing it.

Because, I was indeed STARK BOLLOCK NAKED!  :Smile: 

 Yes, I intend to push the boundaries with this thread!


Anyway, back on topic...

No, this isn't  Steve Redgrave come out to pay us a visit... the weather was back down today so I was back on the horse...



Dill, if you look at the reflection in the silver rim of the clock above the window, you may see that me cock's hanging out!

----------


## Mendip

Something a bit more cerebral for any engineers viewing... 

Ootai... enjoying your morning coffee?


We use multibeam echosounder to produce a 3D model of the seabed, and side scan sonar to interpret surficial seabed sediments and seabed features.

If we want an indication of the shallow geology below the seabed we use a sub-bottom profiler. This again uses a sound wave, but at lower frequency than the other sensors so the sound pulse penetrates through the seabed. We know the speed of sound through various sediments, so by timing the return of the sound pulse (two way travel time) we can work out the depth below seabed of any sediment layering. For this work we're only interested in the upper 20m or so, and often only the top 5m for trenching cables and pipelines. Typical frequencies used for the sound wave would be between 1 and 10 kHz (side scan sonar is around 100 to 500 kHz as we don't want it to penetrate the seabed).

 Proper geos working with proper seismic equipment for exploration would be working with much lower frequencies measured in Hertz, not KiloHertz, as they'll be looking at layering in rock maybe several hundred metres, or even kilometres below the seabed. As with other equipment, low frequency equals greater range but lower resolution, high frequency (that we use) equals less penetration but greater resolution.

Some examples from an old project, but in similar seabed as we had up north in the ice-effected area.

This is what we like... 4m or so of softish clay above the hard boulder clay layer. The top of the boulder clay is so regular because that is where the ice sheet sat during glaciation. The glacial boulder clay is called 'overconsolidated', very hard, due to compression by the weight of ice. It's also full of boulders (gouged out by glaciers as they crept down slope through valleys) and is impossible to trench through. Generally, off northern Norway we are looking for the top of the boulder clay as it is so influential for construction projects.



And here's what we don't want... outcropping boulder clay. The seabed will be covered in boulders at this location. A pipeline could be trenched either side of this outcrop, but could maybe require rock dumping at the outcrop where trenching would be impossible. The outcrop of boulder clay could also introduce 'out of straightness' to the profile of a pipeline, which is also bad.



And here is the result of the base of an iceberg gouging out the seabed. The iceberg ploughmarks not only affect seabed topography but also sub-seabed geology by having removed the upper softer layers of sediment. The variation in topography and upper sediment makes pipeline route design very challenging in areas effected by glaciation.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Thanks for the interesting read while i enjoyed my coffee.

I have just one question for you. Why are you worried about your next job?
If your current job runs past its due finish date does that mean you will not be able to take the next job?
Do you have to dock somewhere at a certain time so that you can move to the next boat which would also need to be in the dock?

I know someone (lom?) suggested transfer by helicopter as a joke because you said you hate the things but is that not a possibility?
Surely if the company has engaged you for the job they can't find someone else at short notice and therefore are stuck with finding a solution for you.
I realise that it might be the last time they engage your services but?

Sorry 1 more question. Are you managing to keep in touch with your daughter?
How is everything going at home I am sure she is missing having you around. Do the dogs still get taken for walks?
Just keep thinking that in the long term it will be worth it. The alternative is being home but broke and that is not an option here or anywhere for that matter.

Time for another coffee.

----------


## Edmond

> Mendip
> Thanks for the interesting read while i enjoyed my coffee.


Ditto.

Made me think of the Great Lakes in North America, which were formed by glaciers gouging out the top layers of earth and depositing them across the mid-west. Thus creating the Great Lakes and making the mid-west so fertile for farming. Or so I read in a book, anyway. Cool to see the graphics.

----------


## Shutree

"...we use a sub-bottom profiler."

Is that position open for applications?

----------


## lom

> "...we use a sub-bottom profiler."
> 
> Is that position open for applications?


ask tomcat, he may have an opening for you

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> 
> I have just one question for you. Why are you worried about your next job?
> 
> Sorry 1 more question. Are you managing to keep in touch with your daughter?
> How is everything going at home I am sure she is missing having you around. Do the dogs still get taken for walks?


My next job is office work with a different contractor. This job was due to end on 20th at the latest, the office work start on Monday 21st.

They have a crew change on this boat every two weeks, on alternate Wednesdays. We have one near Bergen today, the next on Sept 23rd. The problem with having projects finish between crew changes is that if they run on it's very hard to get off the boat, and I don't want to miss a few weeks work with the next contractor for the sake of a few extra days here. If the next guys want to get the work done fast they will try to find someone else to do it. This next company also has work in the Black Sea over the winter, so if I get myself into their office I should be able to get on that.

It's always difficult when freelancing cos you can't afford to burn any bridges. If this work does run on a bit I'll just have to hope the next contractor is a bit flexible with their start date. Helicopters and stuff just isn't an option... these guys have no obligation to get me off the boat, it just doesn't work that way. It's my fault for trying to be clever and get back to back work but I think things will turn out OK.

UK is on Norway's red list for Covid and anyone coming over has to quarantine for 10 days (they're decimalised on the continent!). This may be the first favour Covid has done me... I'm here already so can go straight to work. Normally I wouldn't consider going straight to another job after 8 weeks on a boat, but these are strange times and if I can't get home I may as well work. Of course a problem for me with UK on Norway's red list is that I don't really want to go back and visit family, as then I'll rule myself out for more work over here. If a second wave goes across the UK I won't want to risk visiting my elderly mum anyway. Covid really has changed everything.

And my daughter is doing fine Ootai, thanks for asking. I'm on a bad shift to keep in touch and can only talk to her before school... when she's not really in the mood to chat. We message on Skype, when she decides to reply... the bugger. 

Of course she's spending way too much time on her screens while I'm away (I get a weekly report from Microsoft) and I can see her online way past her bedtime as her Skype button is green. But... she's happy at school and doing OK. I learnt a long time ago to pick my battles... I have to be here working and that's that. There's no point in getting pissed off over stuff out of my control (I still do though).

The dogs won't have been walked since the day I left, but they all get on well and have plenty of space to run around and I'm happy with that. The gardener takes care of my street dog feeding routine, as you know he really is a Godsend.

I've bribed the daughter to teach Coco and Yogi to sit... the promise of a new tablet if I get home to well trained dogs keeps her out in the garden for half an hour every night!

Bribery works wonders!







> "...we use a sub-bottom profiler."
> 
> Is that position open for applications?


I've put your name down Shutree... although there's not many bottoms I'd like to profile out here.

Plenty of hairy arses for you though!

----------


## Mendip

One of the guys on the bridge had chest pains last night. The medic hooked him up to a machine and streamed live data to shore and it was considered serious enough for a medivac. (the medic must have access to a lot better bandwidth than the rest of us).

He is now in a hospital in Bergen with nothing serious found... so I guess it's OK to post this.

We were working near Oseberg, pretty well bang in the middle of the North Sea, midway between Norway and The Shetlands, so a helicopter was sent out.

I thought my helideck was going to get it's first piece of action this trip, but the ship was moving too much for the helicopter to land.

(if helicopter crew changes are planned the ship has to send telemetry data from sensors on the helideck to shore, for a certain duration, to ensure the movement is within safe limits. I think 3 degrees pitch and roll are the limit).

We were way over that.



They dropped a line and a guy abseiled down.





Once he was down he held the line...



And a second guy prepared to come down. I guess this was the doctor... not your average GP.







And off they run to find the patient.



All done, the patient winched up, and off they went... straight to the heliport at Bergen Hospital I'd imagine. He was in the hospital in Bergen less than two hours after the chest pains. That's one good thing about working in Norway, they look after you. If you have something go wrong off West Africa you're pretty well buggered.



I still hate the things though... more time in the gym for me!

----------


## Edmond

Jaysus.


List of jobs to want:

North Sea helicopter dude that abseils down to sick people on North Sea vessels. 



No thank you.

----------


## David48atTD

^^  Great post Mendip

Who are the Helicopter guys?

As in a private company servicing the oil/gas industry?

----------


## Saint Willy

Glad he is ok

----------


## Mendip

^^ I imagine a fund all the oil companies pay into will provide for the medivac service, but I'm only guessing.

----------


## Neverna

> Who are the Helicopter guys?
> 
> As in a private company servicing the oil/gas industry?


CHC Helikopter Service.

The airline operates primarily to oil platforms on the Norwegian continental shelf in the North Sea and the Norwegian Sea, with crew change, infield shuttle and search and rescue operations. Though the global headquarters are in Richmond, B.C., Canada, the company has its main base at Stavanger Airport, Sola.

CHC provides private Search and Rescue services in the Norwegian North Sea but acts in concert with government SAR operations. The CHC SAR fleet includes three offshore based AS 332L1, along with an EC225 at Statoil's Statfjord field, which can be converted from inter-rig shuttle role to SAR duty role within 15 minutes. Several of the Super Pumas in CHC's Norwegian fleet are prepared for the same quick change to SAR configuration.

CHC Helikopter Service - Wikipedia

See also:
CHC | CHC provides unmatched helicopter services that enable our customers to reach beyond.

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## Neverna

And the helicopter used is an Airbus AS 332L Super Puma.



Eurocopter AS332 Super Puma

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## helge

edit..

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## Mendip

We're working at Gullfaks for a few days, an old development being rejuvenated by several new satellite wells being drilled into known existing reservoirs.

 The drilling is being done by the Askeladden jack-up drill rig. This is one of two new Cat J jack-ups owned by Equinor. I'm not sure what Cat J actually means... but maybe Airportwo knows?



Our job is to first identify any seabed obstructions and then clear the future drilling sites prior to the Askeladden spudding and drilling further wells. 

I'm hoping to find some big boulders so we can get the boulder grabber in operation!



Meanwhile a small fishing boat was trawling nearby. I'm glad I'm not on that.

The fishing boats all have sonar equipment these days and deliberately target and trawl along existing subsea pipelines, where fish congregate for some protection. The fishermen regularly lose nets to snagging on pipelines, and then complain and claim compensation back from the operators.



Norway have managed their fishing industry much better than the UK, but generally the seabed is now an underwater desert, completely dead and devoid of life. This all changes around platforms, around which 500m radius exclusion safety zones are enforced. These areas are full of fish with abundant shellfish on the seabed. I reckon the oil industry is the last chance North Sea fish have, by providing a refuge from fishing they allow fish to breed and help stocks to recover. I've never understood why Greenpeace and the likes are so hell bent on insisting that decommissioned platforms are completely removed by the oil companies. So long as toxins are removed, I would think the most environmentally friendly solution would be to leave them in place and maintain the exclusion zones.... or maybe remove the topsides and just cut off the legs below navigable depth.

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## helge

> The fishermen regularly lose nets


And the nets keep fishing for decades, if not picked up by divers.

It's a big problem, but I've heard that the Hill Monkeys are on it.

Better than the Danes anyway

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## Mendip

^ The nylon nets are awful. We find the same nets snagged on pipelines for years, if not tens of years, and even after all that time they will be full of dead fish and big crabs which come to eat the fish.

The hemp nets are the way to go, at least they tend to lie in a heap on the seabed where they do little harm. They rot away too. It would be nice if the nylon nets were legislated against.

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## helge

> I've never understood why Greenpeace and the likes are so hell bent on insisting that decommissioned platforms are completely removed by the oil companies


It's a sound principle, that you clean up after yourself.

They pollute a lot when drilling. I don't know how much chemical waste are being let out these days, but there has been enough scandals involving Mærsk in the danish zone.

Would you dump all the offshore windmills too, when they are done earning ?

And ships ?



> I would think the most environmentally friendly solution would be to leave them in place and maintain the exclusion zones...


Put on paper, and the math done, I'm afraid you're right.

For now

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## Saint Willy

> It's a sound principle, that you clean up after yourself.


did you read the rest of the post?

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## helge

> did you read the rest of the post?


Just tell me, Willy

What do you mean ?

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## helge

Is it this part, Willy ?



> Norway have managed their fishing industry much better than the UK, but generally the seabed is now an underwater desert, completely dead and devoid of life. This all changes around platforms, around which 500m radius exclusion safety zones are enforced. These areas are full of fish with abundant shellfish on the seabed. I reckon the oil industry is the last chance North Sea fish have, by providing a refuge from fishing they allow fish to breed


So you are suggesting to create artificial reefs by dumping scrab in the North Sea to make obstacles against greedy unregulated trawling, that should be dealt with in parlaments and courts ?

Very creative

You should be a Trump strategist

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## Saint Willy

> So you are suggesting ....


No, but if you read the post, you'll (possibly) understand the point. 

Are you a militant & irrational Greenie? You appear to be arguing like one.

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## helge

> Are you a militant & irrational Greenie?


So I assume it was about the fish

You quoted my post about a sound principle. In its nature, I guess that a principle can seem millitant to you.

Forget being rational, when talking enviroment.

Ask Mendip, if he remember the offshore burning of poison and chemicals, on the very same fishing banks.

The 'rationale' was that it's better to pollute our seas, than pollute land, which has humans living on it.
Who'll eat the fish later


That is the way money talks and why politicians are bought.
But you knew that allready, my liberalistic acquaintance



> You appear to be arguing like one.


 Have to
Because you have a thick skull, love

(((still like you more, than I like my wife)don't flatter yourself)she's not that popular) :Smile: 



Sorry, Mendip for polluten your amazing thread

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## Chittychangchang

> (((still like you more, than I like my wife)don't flatter yourself)she's not that popular)


I'm sure there's many on here in the same boat.

Least your honest :Smile: 

If Fishlocker was on your ship Mendip, he'd be climbing over the side casting a line in.


How's the fitness/weight loss regime coming along?

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## Mendip

^ Ain't that the truth!

Fishlocker would be disappointing... HSE have banned fishing as well, along with many other avenues of enjoyment.

Many years ago if we saw a lot of cod along a pipeline while doing a survey, someone would get out on the back deck and bounce a lure along the pipeline and we'd have fresh cod for dinner. But those days are long gone sadly.

As for the fitness... it's hard to keep the routine going after 7 weeks but we shall see... I'll weigh meself when I get off this boat in a week or so...  hopefully...

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## Mendip

> Sorry, Mendip for polluten your amazing thread


No problem Helge, it's a welcome discussion...

Oil companies are currently obligated to return the seabed to it's previous state when decommissioning a field, which in principal sounds a fair thing to do. Any debris is removed, pipelines and umbilicals will be recovered where possible and platform topsides removed, with legs cut off below the seabed. It creates a lot of work for offshore workers.

After Shell's disaster with the Brent Spar, Greenpeace have got their way. Once the platforms and infrastructure have been removed, the 500m exclusion zones will be gone and those 1km diameter wildlife havens will have lost their protection and be open to trawling. Guaranteed, within a couple of months the seabed within these exclusion zones, bursting with marine life, will be as dead and barren as the surrounding seabed. Don't kid yourself this is done for the environment, it's a political decision because the oil companies are shit scared about bad publicity and the environmentalists are hell bent on screwing the nasty oil companies. Well done Greenpeace. I would have though a better plan for the environment would be to leave all that infrastructure in place, keep the exclusion zones and maybe use some oil company decommissioning money to police the exclusion zones... or anything else... buy some more rangers to save the rhinos from poaching... something useful...

When I first started doing this work we had to continually stop surveys because there were so many cod swimming around the pipelines we couldn't see anything. Now you're lucky to see a few coalies... apart from within the platform exclusion zones. I read somewhere that for every 1 kg of fish caught by trawling, 4 kg of marine life sinks back to the seabed, dead, after being raked up by the trawl net. All those crustaceans, molluscs and gastropods at the bottom of the food chain are killed as well as the target fish... but not around platforms where the ecosystem is thriving with a seabed full of worm holes and crabs scurrying around and the pipelines are covered in mussels and the like. That will all end once the trawlers get access. 

Fishing is the biggest threat to the marine ecosystem, not the oil industry. I've seen kilometre after kilometre of dead mackerel washed up against the sides of pipelines, all dumped by fishermen. Mackerel tend to swim in shoals of similar sized fish, big fish are worth more than small fish. A shoal of smaller fish caught in a trawl net will just be dumped, dead, as they are less lucrative. And that's just instances that I've witnessed. When we survey a pipeline route we have to report any coral areas so that the route will be deviated. I don't know why we bother... the vast majority of coral mounds and reefs we see are smashed to pieces and obliterated by trawling. You're lucky to see a single piece of live coral.

I would say that the offshore extraction of hydrocarbons is generally a pretty clean process these days, apart from a few notable disasters. Everything is very highly regulated and with social media the oil companies are very aware that any events will reach the public. We see occasional small gas leakages from wellheads, templates and flanges, maybe just a small stream of gas bubbles. We see a lot more gas bubbling out of the seabed... many people don't realise that a huge amount of hydrocarbons continually leak naturally from the seabed. We often see pockmarks, large circular depressions in the seabed caused by leaking fluids and gas. These are very common (given the right sediment) above hydrocarbon reservoirs and the amount of hydrocarbons released through these features dwarf any minor seepages caused by the oil industry.

Pockmarks, around 20m diameter, caused by gas and fluid natural seepage.



You have a point about drill mud though. We often see a build-up of drill mud around boreholes and one way of recognising it is that the seabed appears dead and lifeless (within the otherwise thriving seabed within the exclusion zones). I believe barium is used in dill mud, and that is pretty toxic. I think that modern drilling releases a lot less mud around the boreholes than previously and also that synthetic, less toxic chemicals are now used. At least I hope so.

The drill mud can also form a brittle crust on the seabed that can't be good for benthonic organisms. 

But maybe others are less effected. Here is a steinbitt (wolf fish) who has made is home under a drill-mud crust!

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## ootai

Mendip
This morning the coffee came with extra a bit of education.
I had to google "benthonic organisms".
You must be working hard to have the time to type such a long post!
That being said please continue to do so as I am enjoying learning about a world of which i knew nothing.
Cheers

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## Saint Willy

> I would have though a better plan for the environment would be to leave all that infrastructure in place, keep the exclusion zones and maybe use some oil company decommissioning money to police the exclusion zones.


Exactomundo. 

A free, established artificial reef already established. An easy win win.

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## Mendip

We've had shitty weather for a few days now, but just within working limits. This is the worst kind of weather as the boat is oriented at the best heading for configuration with the ROV, which isn't necessarily the best heading for its occupants. If the weather gets beyond working limits the ROV will be brought back on deck, the skipper will point the bows into the wind and we'll all be a lot more comfortable.

It wasn't too bad before I started shift this afternoon, but now we've got 40 knot winds and nearly 4 meter seas, so fingers crossed the ROV will be pulled soon!




I've had enough now. No proper sleep for 3 nights (days) and getting saturated with the work. I just want off and there's about a week to go. I'm getting worried I'll turn up at my next job like a vegetable.

When you're tired you start thinking... 

It's my 49th straight shift and I'm missing my girls...



I'm starting to miss some simple Isaan food... a larb moo would be great (so long as it's _pet nit noi_)...



Oh... and nearly forgot...

It's been 51 days... and I'm also missing...

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## Chittychangchang

When you get off that boat, you'll enjoy and appreciate everything a lot more.

You'll have given your body a much needed health kick and your bank balance a boost.

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## Saint Willy

Hang in there mate.

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## Headworx

Mendip as far as returning home goes (if that becomes your plan for whatever reasons) is that possible now because you're married? I haven't really been following who's allowed back and who's not but would assume you have!

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## Mendip

^^  :Smile:  Thanks KW... I'm ok... was just feeling sorry for meself after getting no sleep. This hasn't been a very enjoyable job and it doesn't take much to start moaning... and I'm English after all!

We had another medivac yesterday as well. An appendix case. It's just turning out to be one of those jobs.

^ Good question HW... I haven't been following the latest requirements either. I have a non O based on marriage, so a wife along with child. I've brought all the paperwork I could think of with me as well... birth and marriage certs, IDs, Tabian Baan, health insurance policy, etc etc. I think after jumping through a few hoops I could get home but it would mean a visit to an embassy, a week or so wait, a Covid test, a very expensive flight and 14 days quarantine, etc. I don't want to put these contractors through any hassle with all that, or myself for that matter.

With such an uncertain future I think it best just to keep working while I'm here and there's work about. I may as well spend that 14 days in a Norwegian Hotel and get paid for it. 

I'm not really expecting to get home until next year... and who knows what 2021 will bring...

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## katie23

^keep on keeping on, Mendip. This thread is interesting and we're still following your adventures.

Re: the visa to TH, foreigners/ expats in PI face similar situations (14 day quarantine, covid test, etc). So you're not alone (if that's any consolation).

For you, I'll drink a glass of one of my homemade wines tonight. Cheers!  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^ If it's for me, drink the whole bottle please!

Tonight we're back at Oseberg... the wind has gone so now we've got fog. Less than a week to go with any luck.

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## Edmond

^ Around how many people would be on that?


Edit:

Seems it was (presumably) named after a famous viking longboat found in 1904.

Oseberg Ship - Wikipedia

And is the name of the oil field, 7 x 25km, discovered in 1979.

Oseberg oil field - Wikipedia


Max output: 75,000 barrels a day. The Oseberg area - equinor.com

Which is around $45 each.



.... $3.4 million a day ain't bad if at max production and not deducting Mendip's salary.

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## docmartin

> I've never understood why Greenpeace and the likes are so hell bent on insisting that decommissioned platforms are completely removed by the oil companies. So long as toxins are removed, I would think the most environmentally friendly solution would be to leave them in place and maintain the exclusion zones.... or maybe remove the topsides and just cut off the legs below navigable depth.



Totally agree.  
Having worked for Groinpus many many years ago I can say that they're probably a little deficient in down-to-earth reality checks even now.
Inner-city vegan organic chai-sipping folks and all that.

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## Shutree

> Totally agree.  
> Having worked for Groinpus many many years ago I can say that they're probably a little deficient in down-to-earth reality checks even now.
> Inner-city vegan organic chai-sipping folks and all that.


Seconded, or thirded. There are cleaned up vessels being deliberately sunk to create artificial reefs. Those are mainly for recreational divers who can enjoy the wildlife they attract. No reason at all not to do the same thing on a larger scale and provide some safe havens in the North Sea. Otherwise the trawlermen will trawl until there is nothing left.

There is a very good book "Cod" by Mark Kurlansky, the title says it all, which is a fascinating read. One of the things that stays with me from his book is the way that Newfoundland fishermen and politicians simply kept the fishing alive until there were no fish left to fish. The lesson being that the oceans do not belong to a small number of self-interested fishermen, they belong to everyone and everyone should have a say. It is a lesson that has not been learnt.

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## helge

Having a suspicion here that the good intentions, the hopes, half studied knowledge and 100 billion good, saved cleanup money has taken over.

If something sound simple, it probably isn't, and the bill to correct these mistakes could be huge.

Read some reports, manuals on how and where to play with nature, and where not to do it.

(and remember that 100 billion can buy a lot of pre concluded reports)

Sorry about the tone  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^ I think a pessimistic tone is very apt Helge... money and politics will win over the environment every time, Greenpeace should forget politics and remember why they started. (by the way Helge... if my office work in Haugesund (Norway) falls through next week I've had a back-up offer of work in Gothenburg... you got any decent beer in Sweden?)

To make the point... an example of the seabed off the remote northern coast of Norway... a country who has always been a fishing nation but who has also managed their fish stocks extremely well. Cod are abundant throughout the Norwegian Sea.

Each of those furrows on the seabed has been made by a trawl board... the whole area is riddled with trawling activity... and this is well managed.



Imagine the amount of trawling in the southern North Sea where every bordering country is hell bent on catching every last fish. The seabed is dead and barren from constantly being dredged up by trawling. It would be like a farmer ploughing his fields every week.

But anyway, nothing will change. 

We left Oseberg today and I was hoping to get a pic this morning in daylight as it's an impressive structure, but at 7am it was still dark. Quite a change from when I joined this boat two months ago when it never got dark... now it doesn't want to get light.



Not my pic, but Oseberg field centre. Around 20 years ago I once had a basket transfer from the helideck on Oseberg A down to the back deck of a survey vessel... and very nearly shit myself. It wouldn't be allowed these days, and I certainly wouldn't do it again, even if it was.

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## Saint Willy

Brilliant pics, Mendip. Cheers.

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## Mendip

The trip's coming to an end and we started the last project today... hopefully just a day's work at Visund.

It's a busy part of the world... 



We finished up at Gullfaks and departed early this morning...



With Statfjord and Snorre off to the port side...



Heading for Visund to the northeast... with dawn just breaking.



And up this afternoon for my last full shift (hopefully!) working at the Visund semi-sub FPU (Floating Production Unit). It's deep water here and the platform doesn't reach down to the seabed... instead the anchorage system comprises chains to suction anchors in the seabed.

There's still the old 'Statoil' sign and logo on Visund... Equinor need to get that sorted.



The weather has again come up this afternoon... a real bugger. My Norwegian office work has already fallen though due to delays on this job... but I've secured a month of so's office work with this company in Gothenburg, Sweden, the next part of my commute. 

But in the interim I've got flights on Saturday from Bergen back to Bristol to see me mum! I've got three days to drink as much cider and eat as many steak and kidney pies as I can fit in... then fly to Gothenburg on Tuesday morning.

I don't want any more delays. Just three days to eat and drink all my favourites... it's gonna be a difficult choice!

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## Chittychangchang

> I've got three days to drink as much cider and eat as many steak and kidney pies as I can fit in


 :smiley laughing: 

The anticipation.....

You've earned it.

A pic to wet your whistle, should still be warm at the weekend..

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## Saint Willy

> 've got three days to drink as much cider and eat as many steak and kidney pies as I can fit in...


And put on everyitng you lost over the past 3 months. 




> then fly to Gothenburg on Tuesday morning.


Do they have a weight limit?


Anyway, will be good to see you mom!

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## Shutree

> But in the interim I've got flights on Saturday from Bergen back to Bristol to see me mum! I've got three days to drink as much cider and eat as many steak and kidney pies as I can fit in... then fly to Gothenburg on Tuesday morning.
> 
> I don't want any more delays. Just three days to eat and drink all my favourites... it's gonna be a difficult choice!


No quarantines or self-isolation to worry about?

Have a wonderful trip. Remember: tea and, if you must, Spam.

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## Mendip

^ Thank you Shutree! I don't think I have any quarantine worries... I've filled out some form for UK immigration and think I'll be OK. The north of England seems to be going into lockdown, but Somerset is still OK. I should be in and out again before a nationwide second lockdown takes effect, which I think is pretty inevitable. 

Bergen is currently in lockdown, but I should be heading straight from vessel to airport, so hopefully won't get affected. Offshore workers are apparently except from self-isolation rules, strangely enough. So what can possibly go wrong...

Well, I'll tell you what can go bladdy wrong. I went to bed at 7am this morning with the vessel heading to port, and woke up this afternoon at Troll C... the buggers picked up another job while I was sleeping. 



We've got '_12 hours work_' at the Troll C semi-sub, then into port '_and it won't affect any flights_'...

Here's Troll B and Troll A in the gloom in the background... Troll A had the distinction of being the tallest and heaviest structure moved by man at the time of it's installation, although my pic doesn't really do it justice.



... and I'm 3 hours into my shift and we still have at least 6 hours work to go... I've called me mum to warn her I may not be arriving for my steak and kidney pie tomorrow.

I can't do any work tonight as everything is being backed up for the office. It seems an awful long time ago when I boarded this vessel on 26th July up at Narvik... a life time ago in fact.

A couple of highlights for me...

We did indeed find deep water coral way up North. Many people don't realise how common deep, cold water coral is. It's very interesting as well... living way below the photic zone where there's no photosynthesising algae at the bottom of the food chain. A theory is that these ecosystems gain nutrients from upwelling fluids.

Helge, you will be please to know that the pipeline route will be deviated a long way around this coral mound!



And a couple of pics from 280 metres down...



Sadly this area is heavily trawled and there's not much live coral left...



And a big rock for Ootai! I managed to find a couple of errant boulders, so much to the crane driver's disgust the boulder grab was put into action...



A bit over the top maybe for such a small boulder! (which fell out in the wrong place anyway)

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## Mendip

And what about my health kick...

My last beer was at Suvarnabhumi on 25th July, that was fifty-five 12 hour shifts and exactly 8 weeks ago. I've watched my diet and been walking on the helideck or been in the gym almost every day (apart from the last week when it's fallen apart a bit).

So today was the day...

Just about very boat or installation has one of these on the way to the helideck...



A heli-lounge! 

It's usually a double edged sword to be in the heli-lounge. On the good side it means you're about to get off the boat... but on the bad side it means you're leaving by bladdy helicopter. You have to sit through a safety video and stuff before the crew change.



But I wasn't here to sit through any boring safety video... before any helicopter flight every person and their luggage have to be weighed.

I was after those scales!



I had a medical two days before boarding this boat, and if you're to believe the scales at Bumrungrad I was 114kg.

Tonight... 

Well... fark me, that's a result!



And then the boat rolled... FFS...



I'm now somewhere between 101.9kg and 112.0kg, depending on the roll of the boat.

 Convention states you should take the lowest figure, but if I take a mid range figure then 107kg may be realistic. That would be a 7kg loss in 8 weeks... a bit disappointing to be honest.

And another disappointment... 11pm and we're still at Troll. No chance of my 6:20am flight and we need to be away by 3:30am at the latest to make my back-up 11:45 flight... double FFS...



'Around' four hours work left... a queue of boats at the dockside and a one hour taxi to the airport... I'm getting too old for this shit.

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## Backspin

Top thread.

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## Chittychangchang

Sweep stake needed on Mendips weight before he gorges on cheese and cider.

102kg -112kg, ten members post a weight.

Winner gets the repo glory.

I'll hazard a guess at 106kg....

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## Saint Willy

106.5kg

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## Chittychangchang

> 106.5kg


Bstard gazumper, it's not The Price is Right. :Smile:

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## Headworx

Sounds like the buggers are trolling you Mendip  :Smile:

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## David48atTD

> Sounds like the buggers are trolling you Mendip


So ... what are you guessing?

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## David48atTD

108.314159265 kg   :Smile: 

By pie ... he'll make it.

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## lom

> a 7kg loss in 8 weeks... a bit disappointing to be honest.


Losing them slowly and steadily is the best way of losing them.

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## Shutree

103.5

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## cyrille

> Losing them slowly and steadily is the best way of losing them.


Indeed.

However that isn't really an option when one's planning to pack most of it back on by the extended stuffing of one's face with cheese, pies and cider.  :Very Happy: 

I guess the results of that won't really be classed as 'disappointing'.  :Very Happy:

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## lom

> However that isn't really an option when one's planning to pack most of it back on by the extended stuffing of one's face with cheese, pies and cider.


Forward planning, making room for it.  :Smile:  He will probably miss his flights so he will only get two days of reveling..

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## Edmond

1.25 Phuket Bounds.

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## David48atTD

> 1.25 Phuket Bounds.


Is that an official World Standard ... or restricted to Canooks?

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## Mendip

... burp... I find it a sad reflectiom on Teakdoor society that I post a pic of an 8000 year old, never before seen by mankind deep water coral mound, yet the topic of conflabation is my weight!!!   hic...

I'm off the boat... by the wat...

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## Shutree

> ... burp... I find it a sad reflectiom on Teakdoor society that I post a pic of an 8000 year old, never before seen by mankind


Those of us here who have been divers probably share your angst. Together with a sense of helplessness. No rational person supports this wanton destruction. 
The question is, next time I buy a piece of fish, how do I know about its environmental impact?
As I posted elsewhere, in different language, it is a total effin disgrace that people are allowed to destroy the environment that belongs to our children. And we, myself included, have utterly failed to do anything about it. And if anyone reading this feels differently then you are part of the problem. We shall all stand accused by future generations.
I see people complaining, with reason, about colonialism. And in that self-righteousness, do you wonder how your grandchildren will judge you, for eating their fish and failing to act, in an entirely parallel way, to our colonial forebears sipping tea in salons as history was made around them?

Yes, I do feel quite strongly about this.

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## David48atTD

> ... burp... I find it a sad reflectiom on Teakdoor society that I post a pic of an 8000 year old, never before seen by mankind deep water coral mound, yet the topic of conflabation is my weight!!!


Tis the joy of this place

Could be worse though.  A member posts his home-made Kebab and the first reply was a comment asking if his wife cut his nails   :Smile:  






> I'm off the boat... by the wat...


Waiting by the Temple?

Wat were you thinking?   :Boggled:

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## baldrick

> yet the topic of conflabation is my weight!!! hic...


it had crossed my mind that some of the furrows were mendips arse dragging on the seafloor

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## Mendip

The work at Troll was finished at 4am... the First Mate assured us that he'd get the boat alongside by 10am at the latest, so we could catch the 11:45am flights. I went to bed to try and get a few hours sleep and try to start getting off nights.

9:30am... gently does it.





10:am... I walked down that gangway 56 days after I walked up it on July 26th. A very nice feeling!



Not a bad boat as they go... breakfasts were a bit shit though.



After all this there were about eight of us sat in a mini bus taxi, 50 minutes to the airport, and the driver couldn't get the bladdy thing to start. He kept blowing on something... which I'd never seen before... it it was some kind of alcohol meter he had to blow through before the engine would start. He claimed he hadn't been drinking but it wouldn't let the ignition start nonetheless. A good idea... if it works.

But all was good eventually, after a damn good blow we finally got going.

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## David48atTD

> ... after a damn good blow we finally got going.


*Mendip*, you have such turn of phrase  :Smile:

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## pickel

> But all was good eventually, after a damn good blow we finally got going.


Being as how long it's been since you've had a drink, and the impatience that can bring, I'm just gonna presume you blew for him.  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^ What happens on the minibus stays on he minibus!

But I can't leave it there... this thread was supposed to be about air travel commuting during times of Covid... not about my work, or my weight for that matter...

I checked in at a deserted Bergen Airport. Bergen is in lockdown just now, and it was a Saturday, but even so... should be busy at this time of year.

Nice to have the social distancing rules explained in imperial for us Brits.



Deserted...



It's always a nice feeling to see a group of offshore workers heading to a helicopter when you're on your way home!



The flight to Amsterdam was maybe 30% full. There were banks of three seats either side of the aisle and all middle seats were unavailable, but the plane was near empty anyway.

And finally... 8 weeks since my last beer... (a rip-off small tin of Singha at Suvarnabhumi).



We arrived to an equally deserted Schiphol...





I've been eating these sausage rolls in the 'D' area of Schiphol for 30 years. It's become a tradition, even if I am watching my weight. The Bristol flight (and all other UK flights) have left from Gate D6 for as long as I can remember.



And the Bristol flight was also less than half full. All aisle seats unavailable. The airlines must be hurting.

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## Headworx

> this thread was supposed to be about air travel commuting during times of Covid... not about my work, or my weight for that matter...


Or blowing in a mini bus. Who cares what it started out as, all that matters is it's turned into a highly interesting and amusing thread that members would need to be nuts not to read each time new posts appear  :Smile: 

You're going to need a bigger mantelpiece for yet another POTY trophy at this rate Mendip  :goldcup:

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## Shutree

Sausage rolls.

I might need to rethink that 103.5.

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## Mendip

These offshore windfarms have helped to keep up a demand for offshore workers throughout the last oil downturn. There are loads of them across the southern North Sea.



And Old Blighty...



A quick pic of Taffland across the Severn Estuary for HH...



And as we came in to land, my mum's village... nestled at the foot of the Mendips! It's the first time I've been here this time of year for many years. It's always usually at Christmas, so nice to see the summer greenery.



I've missed this... you don't get a pun like that on the Continent!



I don't miss this though... the robbing bandits. Free trolleys in Norway.



And Bristol Airport was also completely deserted. Half of it seemed to be boarded up. The stools were stacked up on the bar even at 6pm.



The airport taxis seem to have used social distancing as a reason to park 3 miles from the booking office, but I struggled on with no trolley...



And finally!

While my mum got busy in the kitchen I enjoyed the summer smells of flowers and a newly mowed lawn... you miss those smells when working at sea.

I seem destined to spend my life having a drink alone, with only dogs for company...



Well not quite... variety is the spice of life, they say...



And incidentally... I don't think my mum has any scales so I've decided to go with Shutree's 103.5kg. 

I think I deserve a pat on the back for that... 10.5kg in two months!

Edit... I've just seen your post Shutree... 103.5kg is good, you can't change your mind now. Green owed!

And my commute is nowhere bear over... Somerset ain't my home any more... I live in Korat. 

So sorry guys, but this thread has a long way to go yet!

----------


## Neverna

Enjoy your trip back home, Mendip. 

Enjoy the cheese, pies and local ciders. I had a Moose cider last night as it was all my local shop had; but I must say, I am getting quite used to them.

----------


## aging one

Enjoy mate, Your mom sure is going to. Glad you made it safe and sound..

----------


## David48atTD

Agreeing with the both above comments ... welcome home (well, at least to your Mum's place)

BTW, I think I have the same shoes as you!

----------


## OhOh

Thanks for another amusing, instructive and well policed story of your way of life.

 :goldcup:

----------


## Saint Willy

> And incidentally... I don't think my mum has any scales so I've decided to go with Shutree's 103.5kg.


WtF?

I demand an independent audit!

----------


## Headworx

^Cruel  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Or at least a proper weighing.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm gonna search my mum's house for some scales tomorrow, but I don't hold out much hope.

The trouble with coming off nights is that there are endless sleepless night time hours with not much else to do but think, especially when you're away from your family with no idea when that post Covid reunion may be possible. I miss my daughter a lot.

I took a trip down memory lane today and became very maudlin... it's strange visiting here without my daughter. My mum still lives in the house I grew up in with my sisters, and sometimes I wish she had moved on to somewhere not so laden with memories...

I took Bella for a walk along the river just down from mum's house. I spent my young teenage years endlessly fishing down here with a bunch of mates.



The little bugger kept running off, and after chasing her I soon realised that I have a long way to go... my 10.5kg weight loss is just the start.



Most of the river is now completely overgrown... back in my day it was full of kids fishing which kept the nettles and undergrowth at bay. Where have all those years gone...



There's still a few nice spots... I even recognised some but of course the river has changed a lot in the last 40 years... I remember catching a trout in this pool...



Or was it here maybe?



Bella soon got bored with my melancholy and went for a dip... in a patch of wet mud mixed with cow shit.



There's some beautiful trees along the river banks... I miss this. I still don't recognise Thai trees in the way I find British trees so familiar. Here's a willow, or at least half of one, the other half seems to have come down.



And a couple of dead trees... maybe I'm not so good with trees as I thought... Elms maybe? I'm sure NPT would know.



The hedge along the embankment to the left marks the old railway line that went through the village, before Beeching had his way in the 60s. 



And here's where the old railway bridged the river.



Aah, maybe this was the pool I caught my biggest trout from... 1lb 2oz... strange, I remember its weight but not where I caught it.



Times have certainly changed. On a beautiful September Sunday like this, 40 years ago there would have been a big bunch of us fishing all day. When I got a bit older I remember bringing a girl 'fishing' with half a gallon of scrumpy to share. Good times... I wonder what she's up to now?

Thee days the village is probably three times bigger with all the new development, but everywhere is deserted. In fact this was the only evidence I saw of some recent activity...



It would have been nice to share these memories, but as usual it was just me and a dog. Dan and Coco would have loved it as well.

On the way back, a view of my mum's house. As if I wasn't maudlin enough... it looks as though 71 houses are going to be built in the upper field past the hedge.



Boris Johnston has opened up the Green Belt for development and there is now new red brick estates going up all over the place round here. These beautiful villages are being ruined, and are gradually turning into the same suburbia that the people buying their country houses are trying to escape. The villages round here are now two or three times bigger than before, yet all the pubs and shops are closing down. They're now becoming just a dormitory for commuters working in Bristol and further afield.

What a shame... feel sorry for my mum who is a bit upset about this. Everything past that hedge will soon be a characterless red brick estate. What a wanker Boris Johnston is. I'm sure there won't be a blanket of red brick boxes rammed into the fields on his family Somerset farm.



But anyway, time for lunch so back home...

An elderly neighbour of my mum is trying to make a few extra pennies by setting up this honesty stall at the bottom of the drive.



You need these characters... who on earth would buy rotten apples, dead plants or manky old fly-blown homemade jam and chutney left out in the sun all day?



So to lunch... and steak and kidney pie crossed off my list! My uncle dropped round some runner beans from his allotment as well... even better than peas!



And a few more crossed off my list for tea!



And I found out who's been buying the dried out, sun blasted chutney from the bottom of the drive. Thank God for the Branston pickle back up!

It's lovely to see my mum, and who knows when that may be possible again with a Covid winter coming up. But it's just really weird being here without the Thai contingent and I'm 'thinking too mutt'.

I'm very ready to move on to Sweden tomorrow to carry on with the work to take my mind off things. I'd rather relax properly when the work's all done with and I can get back home, whenever that may be. Bloody Covid.

----------


## Edmond

Lovely place Mendy, we grew up in a similar location: Rivers, woods, fields, village, out all day until sundown playing or adventuring, the latest generation are definitely worse off for missing out on that.

----------


## Chittychangchang

Indeed, come home when it's dark was the saying.

Nice pics and Ploughmans Mendip.

----------


## aging one

Mendips threads and posts are a breath of fresh air. Thanks

----------


## Headworx

^Short priced favorite for POTY, _again_. 

The guy could run for POTUS and easily win that too I'm telling you  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

Good thread and lovely snaps of Somerset in the sunshine. Looks like you have been lucky with the weather.

Question: Is that the world's smallest pork pie?

Observation: The two dead trees have a very similar shape to the live tree in the pic of Bella running off. No idea what it/they are though.

Wonderful to revisit those childhood memories.

----------


## Edmond

> childhood memories


Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue skyyyy.

----------


## Headworx

^Skyyy, Skyyy, skyyyyyyy...

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Shutree, my mum did fantastically well with the cider order (for a tea-totaller) but let me down badly on the pork pie front. They were indeed minute, but luckily that pork pie in the pic was a quarter of a pack of four! And as for childhood memories... I just get maudlin about it all. I must be getting old...

To break my maudlin mood today, on the way to pick up some teabags I popped in to say hello to my dad... at the grave yard.

This church is 600 years old, but even a non religious person like meself can appreciate it's a beautiful building.



After visiting my dad I had a look around.

The War Memorial. I think pretty much every village and town in the UK has one of these.



Even in 2020 there are a lot of recognisable village surnames in the roll of honour. I think this will be the last generation to say that, the village character is fast disappearing. Youngsters can't afford the house prices to stay in the village and the new estates are swamping the village with townies, uninterested in anything other than saying that they live in the country.

Fifteen lost in World War I and six lost in World War II... a huge proportion of men back then when the village was so small.



And nearby is the grave of Hannah More. 

Yes, who was Hannah More...


_Bristol-born Hannah More  (1745-1833) was one of the most influential women of her day. A  successful poet, playwright and campaigner, she was a champion of social  reform, female education and the abolition of slavery.
_
*Hannah More's history
*_Hannah More was born in Fishponds, near Bristol, in 1745. Her father  was a school teacher and set up two schools in Bristol - one for girls  and one for boys. As a young adult, Hannah taught at the girls' school.
_
_When she was twenty two years old, Hannah became engaged to William  Turner, the owner of Tyntesfield's neighbouring estate of Belmont (now  privately owned). She spent a lot of time on the estate and was inspired  to write poetry by the sheer beauty of her surroundings.
_
_Hannah's relationship with William eventually ended in heartbreak. He  postponed their wedding three times over six years before eventually  breaking their engagement altogether. As compensation, he offered her  £200 a year which she originally refused but later accepted. This income  allowed her to be independent, at a time when women rarely were, and  left her free to pursue a highly successful literary career.
_
_As well as a poet and playwright, Hannah More was also a campaigner  for social reform, female education and the abolition of slavery. She  set up twelve schools in the Mendip area and donated money for the  founding of Kenyon College in Ohio, United States. Today, there are  still several schools in the Bristol area named after her.
_
_She died in 1833, aged 88._

Who was Hannah More? | National Trust


If you're interested you can read her poems online, but if you're like me and hate poetry than a pic of her grave should suffice.

And here she lies...



And the plaque...



Good ages for the 1800s... maybe virtuous living does pay off. I'm not sure I'd want to be buried with my sisters though... I told the wife she could just chuck me in the pond when it's my time, although I do hope she waits until I'm dead.

To improve my mood further I had a wander around the graveyard. They really are fascinating places, so much history... I'd love to do a bit of metal detecting round here with my daughter.



A story behind every gravestone...



1786...



I don't know how old they go... I guess the inscriptions on the most ancient have weathered away. I'd guess the oldest gravestones date back to the 1600s, maybe before. 

The oldest I found was 1779...



And a whole family...



I could have spent longer, but my mum was eager to get going to the Co-op. I needed to pick up some teabags for my upcoming work in the office. 

Before getting in the car I picked up a few cooking apples... there must be a glut this year as the villagers just leave them out for people to take. Another tradition that will disappear during the next generation. Dill should move in... he could make a crumble for free every day!



Probably the most dangerous part of my work trip so far was being driven to the local supermarket by my 84 year-old mother! As I clutched the seat I wondered how a Chinese guy eating bats the other side of the world had caused the road system to change outside my old primary school in a small rural Somerset village... but it slowed my mum down, so Covid can't be all bad.

----------


## Mendip

After picking up 320 bags of Yorkshire's finest (there was no Barry's or Miles) which at 3 cups a day should keep me going until Chtistmas, we stopped on the way home at a small beauty spot for a pic of the village.



They must be having a littering problem... I'm no prude but the sign just seemed a bit strong... I certainly wouldn't want my daughter using language like that but am I just old fashioned? Only my wife gets away with calling me a tosser!



For lunch I crossed off bacon and sausages (again) from the list. Still no peas though.



I popped over the road after lunch to see the field soon to be turned into a red brick housing estate... this was my skiving off school place 40 years ago... I'd jump over the gate in the morning, hide behind the hedge and wait for me mum to go to work, then I'd go back in the house for the day. Today a few cows had turned up.



How to spend my second and last afternoon in Somerset... 

Another walk of course. I told me mum I'd take Bella along the river again. Me mum told me to be careful of the cows as she'd heard they had mobbed a dog walker a few days ago. Don't be ridiculous I say, and besides, the cows were up in the top field.

Strangely enough, as we walked along the river the cows formed a line across the field.



I stood my ground buy the cows kept coming...



No problem I thought... but on they came... the one with the black face in the middle was clearly the ring leader. Bella was absolutely useless... Dan would have been snarling by now and snapping at them, but Belle was behind me making whimpering noises.



When I worked onshore in Namibia I was told to run in zig-zags to the nearest tree if chased by a rhino. I didn't want to over-react in a Somerset field so I just backed away slowly, maintaining eye contact.

The bloody things crowded me all the way to the corner of the field.



This guy leading all the way.



I must admit, I was glad to get through the barbed wire fence. Of course Bella started barking now she felt safe!



So that was that... no walk down down along the river as those cows weren't going away. I went upstream a bit to check out some old (40 year-old) fishing spots.

The river up here was full of trout! I guess the result of no kids fishing any more. 



The big one here was maybe 12oz I reckon... I've promised my daughter next summer in the UK (Covid allowing) and catching a few of these trout will be on the list for sure.



But Bella is certainly no trout stalker and was getting bored, so off we left.



On the way home, the obligatory pic for HH's bank... knock yerself out mate!



So my last evening in Somerset... it's impossible to really relax with a 4am start the next day. But what a wonderful country... I only went to pick up a few teabags and came home with a whole selection of ciders. A sedate couple of hours cider tasting was in order! Couldn't do that in Isaan...couldn't even get the teabags to be honest.



And before the sun went down I even sorted out my daughter's present from the UK. My mum has been hassling me to sort out my rock collection, so I reduced it by two. On the right a fossilised echinoid (sea urchin) from the Cretaceous and on the left a piece of ammonite from the Lower Cretaceous chalk marl (the layer below the Upper Cretaceous chalk forming the White Cliffs of Dover). I know this because I collected it from about three miles out under the sea from Dover, when I worked on the Channel Tunnel 30 years ago. What daughter wouldn't be happy with a pressie like that!



The last Somerset sunset... I'm very glad I visited my mum now, as the way things are going the UK will be in lockdown by this time next week. And who knows what will happen over the next few weeks...



Sweden tomorrow, the next stage of my work commute. 

I've never spent much time in Sweden before, but I'm hoping to take a load of discreet pics of the famous blonde Swedish totty. This thread needs livening up!

----------


## Chittychangchang

Nice selection of pics Mendip.

Top tip,use the teabags twice then you'll have enough to last till Easter.

Your daughter will treasure the present and story behind it.

You never know with the Thais obsession with fresh fish the Missus might enjoy the next visit if you buy her a rod and disposable bbq for a day at the river.(Not to mention plenty of hang glider for yourself)

Funny things them cows, we got chased by a herd of them recently. They weren't scared of the dog at all.

Safe travels.

----------


## Saint Willy

Safe travels mate, loved this England chapter

----------


## CalEden

Take your duaghter before those red brick estates pop up!

----------


## OhOh

When I walked the dogs through fields of cows in the UK years ago it was the dogs that attracted them. Maybe there have been dogs around running loose.

----------


## cyrille

> Maybe they have been dogs around running loose.


And they're pissed off at being reincarnated as cows?

----------


## lom

> I've never spent much time in Sweden before, but I'm hoping to take a load of discreet pics of the famous blonde Swedish totty. This thread needs livening up!


Looking forward to see Gothenburg and its beauties through your eyes, it is my second hometown where I lived for 30 years.

----------


## Shutree

https://www.countryfile.com/go-outdoors/walks/how-dangerous-are-cows-to-walkers/


https://theconversation.com/when-cows-attack-how-dangerous-are-cattle-and-how-can-you-stay-safe-around-them-79524


It seems that cows are not as meek as they might appear.

"The Health and Safety Executive (HSE) reports deaths, not attacks. They say that on average four to five people are killed in accidents involving cattle each year, with 74 fatal attacks since 2000."

----------


## Shutree

a piece of ammonite from the Lower Cretaceous chalk marl

There she was hoping for a new iPad.

For the missus: a lump of lovely Millstone Grit.

----------


## katie23

Very nice, mendip. That cow does look bad ass!  :Smile: 

Hope you were able to make it safe & sound to your destination. Cheers!

----------


## Mendip

> Looking forward to see Gothenburg and its beauties through your eyes, it is my second hometown where I lived for 30 years.


I always took you to be a Dane lom... my first impressions of Sweden are very poor...





> For the missus: a lump of lovely Millstone Grit.


A millstone... 

_The literal hanging of a millstone about the neck is mentioned as a punishment in the New Testament (Matthew 18:6), causing the miscreant to be drowned._

No comment!


Anyway, the next stage of my work commute... Sweden. But first I had to brave Bristol Airport for the second time...

Bristol Airport is pretty unique in charging for passenger drop off... 4 quid a time with a maximum of 10 minutes, although of course it only takes a few seconds. But I wasn't going to get my mum up at 4am anyway, so booked an airport taxi. Due to Covid (they say), the airport taxis drop you off about 3 miles from the terminal, and guess what, it's right next to a trolley rental kiosk. Bristol Airport really is the most robbing b@stard of a place. My advice is... they give you an option of £2 or €3 for the trolley, so if you're unfortunate enough to have to use this airport with heavy bags, then keep a pocket full of Euros on you, and save 20p a trolley (assuming the pound has bottomed of course).



I declined a trolley and was sweating like a pig after walking the 3 miles, finishing with passing through a silly Covid tent to enter the terminal.



Another 30% full flight to AMS was followed by a second slightly fuller flight to GOT. The final approach to Gothenburg revealed a Sweden that was all I'd expected. You could just imagine Britt Ekland dancing naked in those woods, like she did in The Wicker Man. It looked beautiful, but I was in for a shock. Sweden must be the weirdest place I have ever been to...

----------


## lom

> I always took you to be a Dane lom...


You are partially right, my mother was from Denmark.




> my first impressions of Sweden are very poor...


I'm all ears.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Where do I start lom...?

I arrived in Gothenburg, or 'Göteborg' as they seem to like calling it here (I mean WTF are Goths called here... Göts?), and all was OK at first... my UK passport still got me through the EU channel, my bag had arrived and there was even a pre-booked taxi waiting for me. The sign the woman held had spelt my name wrong, but all was good... and yes, women taxi drivers abound in Scandinavia.

After 33 minutes (yes, I had asked her how long the trip was, and she had checked the internet, and told me 33 minutes, which was spot on.... as I have found everything is on the web here) we arrived at a nondescript office.



I was knackered after 8 weeks of nights, a 2 day cider binge and a 3:45am start, but I had to show interest when I went into the office. I was straight away shown my digs (not a hotel in Sweden sadly) which were (are) about a 4 minute walk from the office. I dropped off my bag, feigned acceptance of being put in a shared company house which are basically student digs) and returned to the office to get set up, and all that good stuff.

After looking busy for the rest of the day (during which I met a young female English trainee geo who filled me in about 'Göteborg', I went back to my student digs. But I couldn't bladdy find them. Every building looks the same in Sweden... and after walking up to each one and trying the PIN code I'd been given, I eventually heard a click and gained entry. In my defense I was very tired and slightly stressed when shown the digs earlier on and hadn't been concentrating.

First I tried this place...  no luck...



Then this place... same...



But eventually gained access to this shitty looking place. Today I found out it's known as the 'red' house... wish they'd told me that earlier.



So anyway, I needed food. No hotel, no nothing. I was told the closest supermarket was just up the road... I had no Swedish money but surely there would be an ATM...

Half an hour later I find the supermarket... a 7-22. Double the number but half the choice of a 7-11 in Thailand.



I asked a chap where there was an ATM and he looked at me weirdly.... no bugger uses cash in Sweden, everything is done with cards. He searched on his phone and told me the closest ATM was 5km away! And this a major city in a developed country! 

No-where to have a pint and no-where to even get some cash... and everything in Swedish in the supermarket... not a single translation anywhere.

I staggered back with my shopping and the only good thing about Sweden I discovered was that they are a nation of dog lovers.



That made me happy... is that a Staffy or a Boxer?  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I woke this morning to a huge flood in the middle of my student digs, I tell ya, if it wasn't for Covid, the fact that I can't get home. or that I'd negotiated a good rate out of this company and it's very unlikely the tax man will see much of it, I'd be out of here. But of course Covid has changed everything.

It later transpired that the shower was leaking.

I'd foolishly left me good office jeans slumped on a chair, touching the floor...



Which pissed me off immensely. This was my first day in the office and I wanted to make an impression.

I left the digs after a breakfast of shite (that I'd managed to buy in the supermarket last night) and headed off for the office about 6:30am. These were outside my digs...



I mentioned the English trainee I'd briefly met the previous day.... she'd invited me out for a meal last night with her friend, but told me that they were going on 'scooters'... 

It seems that in Sweden you just jump on one of these scooters and then leave it somewhere. Of course you have to download an 'App', and then you can find the scooter and it unlocks for you. You then scoot off somewhere, and when you dump it, you just scan something again and you pay and that's it.

I'm 53 FFS... if I get on one of those things I'll be heading to the restaurant via a hospital. 

In Sweden you don't walk anywhere, you don't use cash and absolutely everything is done online. Apart from my student digs of course... no wifi here but luckily the neighbouring hotel (where I should be) has unsecured wifi access!

I get to the office early, before anyone else, as is my habit, so I can settle in and have my cup of tea before anyone else arrives.

Of course even the bladdy kettle is complicated. It wouldn't bloody start and eventually I had to find someone to ask how to turn it on. I was trying to stay discreet until my jeans had dried out. Kettle plugs in Sweden have a timer button above, that you have to press, it seems... nothing is normal here.



It's shit here. This is why I like to be offshore... meals provided, everything cleaned and made up, no worries.

I will never get through this without alcohol, but of course if you want anything above 3.5% you have to head to a government controlled alcohol monopoly place... supermarkets can't sell anything apart from weak beer. I asked my boss what people do if they want an after work drink and he looked at me like I was mental. Maybe in Sweden they don't do 'after work drinks' or maybe they just assume that everyone else doesn't use cash or can get to an alcohol shop before 7pm. And the bloody place closes at 3pm on Saturdays... 

So I will have a long lunch break on Saturday to walk a round trip of 12km just to get some cash and a box of wine. Or of course I could download an 'App' and go on one of these ridiculous scooter things. I'm really not very happy with this at the moment. But it's work... in Covid.

Lom... for you... so you can recognise where I am.

A few pics from the office veranda where I had lunch today (a cold Cornish pasty I'd brought over from the UK) ... on my own because everyone else here has lunch at 11am...

To the left, towards the Baltic...



Straight across... a refinery?



And to the right, inland... I guess 'Göteborg' proper is up past that bridge. I'll be heading about 5km past that bridge this weekend just to get some cash and a box of wine!



... and the telly's shite as well.

----------


## Saint Willy

Jaysus, do they not have taxis?

----------


## Chittychangchang

Looks like your diet and fitness regime will be enforced this time :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ That is the one saving grace Chitty! It's still pretty shit though.

^^ You probably need an app to call a taxi. No-one communicates here, you just get app messages.

Seems wrong to pay 30 quid for a taxi to find an ATM to get money out... I can't justify that. I'll go for a walk!

----------


## David48atTD

> I asked a chap where there was an ATM and he looked at me weirdly.... no bugger uses cash in Sweden, everything is done with cards. He searched on his phone and told me the closest ATM was 5km away! And this a major city in a developed country! 
> 
> No-where to have a pint and no-where to even get some cash... and everything in Swedish in the supermarket... not a single translation anywhere.


There ... newbie error.

Swedes are wonderfully multi-lingual (not as good as the Finns mind you ... no-one speaks Finnish!).

Ask a Lassie in/near the Supermarket.  Appear a little bewildered, but say nice words about Sweden.  Smile a lot   :Smile: 

Oh, it's Sweden, be Covid-19 aware.

----------


## Mendip

^ I would have happily risked Covid to ask the dog walker a few questions... or a lot worse to be honest Dave.

I think I'm safer asking blokes for directions... I get strange looks off females. Maybe it's that '8 weeks on a boat' look I have.

----------


## OhOh

It appears you left just in time.

*Farmers' union warns walkers after cows trample man to death* _"NFU urges dog owners to let them off leads if approached by cattle after teacher dies.

A schoolteacher from North Yorkshire has become at least the second  member of the public to be trampled to death by cows in the UK this  year, as the National Farmers’ Union (NFU) urged walkers to let their  dogs off their leads if they are charged by cattle."
_
Farmers' union warns walkers after cows trample man to death | UK news | The Guardian

----------


## baldrick

> and everything in Swedish in the supermarket... not a single translation anywhere


your google translate app will work if you select camera and point it at the writing

and the electronic paying is common throughout the technologically developed world - and even better during the virus times 

get a local debit card - you can probably do all the application online

----------


## Saint Willy

> I can't justify that. I'll go for a walk!


Are you sure you are not from oop northf?





> Maybe it's that '8 weeks on a boat' look I have.


Have you showered or shaved recently?

----------


## Shutree

> That made me happy... is that a Staffy or a Boxer?


From behind, she looks like a boxer. Not sure about the dog.

----------


## Shutree

> I'll be heading about 5km past that bridge this weekend just to get some cash and a box of wine!


A walk of 5km one way is good exercise. Walking back with a few kilos of wine sounds like hard work.

----------


## lom

> I arrived in Gothenburg, or 'Göteborg' as they  seem to like calling it here (I mean WTF are Goths called here...  Göts?),


Medieval times Svealand and Götaland (to become Sweden) the inhabitants were svear and götar.




> After 33 minutes (yes, I had asked her how long the trip was, and she  had checked the internet, and told me 33 minutes, which was spot on....  as I have found everything is on the web here) we arrived at a  nondescript office.


An historical place in the old harbour, Nya Varvet (New Wharf) which was a navy base and wharf until mid eighties.
After that a popular place for summer promenades and picnics.




> 


The mess hall, I ate there as young signal corps officer when on a temporary assignment to the navy base. Oh memory lane..




> So anyway, I needed food. No hotel, no nothing. I was told the closest  supermarket was just up the road... I had no Swedish money but surely  there would be an ATM...
> 
> I asked a chap where there was an ATM and he looked at me weirdly.... no  bugger uses cash in Sweden, everything is done with cards. He searched  on his phone and told me the closest ATM was 5km away! And this a major  city in a developed country!


There are ATM's in shopping centers and in every bank office front wall but bank offices are prolly rare nowadays.
I would have thought that a seasoned traveler like you had sorted that in the airport arrival hall ATM machine..  :Smile: 




> I staggered back with my shopping and the only good thing about Sweden I discovered was that they are a nation of dog lovers.
> 
> 
> 
> That made me happy... is that a Staffy or a Boxer?


A Stiffy maybe?

Summer at Nya Varvet

----------


## Saint Willy

> A Stiffy maybe?


 ::doglol::

----------


## lom

> It's shit here. This is why I like to be  offshore... meals provided, everything cleaned and made up, no  worries.


That's not the tune you sang last week.  :rofl: 




> Straight across... a refinery?


Loads of them, Shell is/was the biggest.




> And to the right, inland... I guess 'Göteborg' proper is up past that  bridge. I'll be heading about 5km past that bridge this weekend just to  get some cash and a box of wine!


Yes you are on the right side of the bridge but your walk is less than 2 km to Jaegerdorffsplatsen where there should be both ATM (in Swedish, Bankomat) and Systembolag (wine shop).

----------


## Mendip

> your google translate app will work if you select camera and point it at the writing
> 
> and the electronic paying is common throughout the technologically developed world - and even better during the virus times 
> 
> get a local debit card - you can probably do all the application online



I've got the app as well... completely forgot about it.

This young traineee I'm sitting next to says that I'm just being stubborn wanting cash (mind she also thinks I'm stubborn not wanting to go on one of those death trap scooter things) and reckons I should get a Revolut card. Anyone had any experience with one of these... must admit it looks like a good idea... 





> Have you showered or shaved recently?


I think lom called it...




> A Stiffy maybe?


Yeah... that 8 week on a boat look... I'll get some tight underwear.

----------


## Mendip

> There are ATM's in shopping centers and in every bank office front wall but bank offices are prolly rare nowadays.
> I would have thought that a seasoned traveler like you had sorted that in the airport arrival hall ATM machine..


Yeah I know... schoolboy error, but I kind of thought a big city in Sweden would have ATMs...




> Yes you are on the right side of the bridge but your walk is less than 2 km to Jaegerdorffsplatsen where there should be both ATM (in Swedish, Bankomat) and Systembolag (wine shop).


Yes lom, you've done it again... Jaegerdorffsplatsen has already come to my attention as having both a wine shop or 'Systembolag' and a 'Bankomat'. They look to be about the same distance the other side of the bridge as we are this side... I was looking at the feet measurement, not the metres, and they are about 2000 metres away. On Saturday I will make the 4km round trip to get some cash and a box of wine.

Wish I'd brought Coco along... she'd have loved it and given me some company, and imagine a 'Coco in Götebotg' thread, that would have been something.

Anyway, sorry to criticise your home city based on two days bad experience, but look at my toilet... you have to be a limbo dancer or dwarf to use it... it'd be at home in Thailand. I've already lost count of the number of times I've twatted me head on the ceiling.



It looks as though the flood was caused by me leaving the fridge door open over night... so I've gone quiet about that!

It is a nice office location though... I love docks... there's always something to look at instead of doing work...



Just fit!

----------


## Shutree

> reckons I should get a Revolut card. Anyone had any experience with one of these... must admit it looks like a good idea...


I am not familiar with Revolut although I recently applied for a similar card from Transferwise in London. It is a prepaid card, which doesn't bother me because my UK bank debit cards are essentially the same - cash sitting in the bank and earning no interest. The difference comes with a better exchange rate when I use it. 
I haven't used it yet because my first one was lost or stolen in the post from UK, also not a big problem because it was not activated, it was easy to ask for a replacement and the opportunities for fraud are few. Maybe it would suit your peripatetic lifestyle.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - glad to see that you arrived safely in your new digs. 

How long is your contract for that job? If it's more than 4 weeks, you could make your own wine! So that you don't have to carry heavy bottles of wine/ beer across 4 km. Just buy juice & bottled water (1.5L) in your local 7/22. Buy yeast (baker's yeast will do) and sugar during your next grocery run. I don't know how pricey alcohol is (I've heard it's $$$ in scandi countries) - having your own wine might be cheaper too.

Recipe: 1L of juice (grape, apple, cranberry work best from my experience), 1 cup sugar, 1 tbsp yeast. (Thanks to happynz & tomcat for the recipe. ) Put all of those in a 1.5L water bottle. Give some gentle shakes/ inversions to dissolve the sugar. Cover loosely with the bottle cap (so that air can escape). You may add more water but leave some "head space" on the bottle. Leave in a cool, dry, dark place for 4 weeks. For more details, see the "I made wine" thread in The Kitchen.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Leave in a cool, dry, dark place for 4 weeks.


I doubt he can afford to wait 4 weeks for a drop...

----------


## Headworx

Is it just me hoping Mendip tells us more about this _young female trainee_.. 🤔

----------


## nidhogg

..more to the point, why did Mendip not grab a bottle or two at Duty Free?

----------


## Saint Willy

> ..more to the point, why did Mendip not grab a bottle or two at Duty Free?


I think he did. 
https://teakdoor.com/the-teakdoor-lo...ml#post4164086 (What are you drinking today?)

But it wont last 4 weeks.

----------


## nidhogg

^ I stand corrected.  And yes - most definately will not last 4 weeks!

----------


## Saint Willy

> And yes - most definitely will not last 4 weeks!


or even one week at the apparent rate of evaporation. that's what he gets for drinking a decent whiskey out of a pint glass.

----------


## katie23

Mendip could buy beer/ wine in the meantime. But if he starts to make his own wine this weekend, in 4 weeks he'll have lots of cheap wine!  :Smile:  (if he's impatient, he could drink it after 3 weeks, if he can bear the taste)

He could also make ginger or apple beer - it takes about 5-7 days only. But I don't know if he has the implements for that - knife, cutting board, etc. (I made ginger beer during the early days of lockdown, then I leveled up to making wine. Heh)

----------


## Saint Willy

> He could also make ginger or apple beer - it takes about 5-7 days only.


Now, that_ is_ helpful for him. 

But there is still going to be a gap when that whiskey runs out and the apple beer becomes available.

----------


## David48atTD

> ..more to the point, why did Mendip not grab a bottle or two at Duty Free?


Good point!

*Mendip* ??

----------


## nidhogg

Here you go Mendip, you can order on line with home delivery (charge is steep 120 kroner, about 4,000 baht)

http://www.systembolaget.se/


Do it through Google, and use the translate option.

----------


## lom

> Here you go Mendip, you can order on line with home delivery (charge is steep 120 kroner, about 4,000 baht)


It is much easier for him to take a walk to the nearest shop.
The online shopping account is checked for name and address congruence with the Swedish Register of Citizenship from which they then also can get your age. 
Without that check you would see teenagers ordering booze for their weekend parties. :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Here you go Mendip, you can order on line with home delivery (charge is steep 120 kroner, about 4,000 baht)
> 
> http://www.systembolaget.se/
> 
> 
> Do it through Google, and use the translate option.


delivery charge? 

holy heck, he doesn’t want to but the business, just a few bottles of plonk

----------


## Mendip

Well, I see there's been plenty of discussion while I've been hard at work for the day...




> Transferwise in London. It is a prepaid card, which doesn't botherated, it was easy .....


Shutree, I would like to say I'd look into it, and into this Revolut card my (I mean _the_) trainee has told me about... but I know myself well enough that it won't happen. But who knows... 

Many thanks anyway and your small Chang in Bangkok is very safe.




> How long is your contract for that job?


Katie... I can't thank you enough for your concern as to my alcohol intake... but as for Shutree, I'd like to say I'll start a home brewing empire but I know myself... I'm doing 11 hour days in the office and I'm pretty knackered at night... I should have had more than 2 days off after 8 weeks of nights. To be perfectly honest it's rare I make it past the sink at night on my way to the toilet... especially since I twat my head every time I take a pee. But please know I raise my game a bit in female company!

But yeah... at least a month I'd say, maybe a lot longer if my head holds out. It really changes your outlook when you can't go home... may as well keep working. 

Bloody Covid.




> Is it just me hoping Mendip tells us more about this _young female trainee_.. 樂


Ha... that had to come from you. She's mid twenties and she comes from Devon... perfect really if I was 20 years younger... OK then 30... I was hoping to purlion her to help with my project, but a staff guy sneaked in before me... I think they were worried I'd teach her bad habits  :Smile: 

But... she's already sharing my PG Tips... slowly slowly...




> or even one week at the apparent rate of evaporation. that's what he gets for drinking a decent whiskey out of a pint glass.




Absolutely no idea what you are talking about mate...




> He could also make ginger or apple beer


Sorry Katie, I may pee in the sink but I've still got some self respect!




> Good point!
> 
> *Mendip* ??


I was all over it... just hope it lasts until the weekend...




> Here you go Mendip, you can order on line with home delivery (charge is steep 120 kroner, about 4,000 baht)


Many thanks for the effort Nid, but as lom says I'd need to be a bit  more permanent. And 120 Kroner is 400 Baht...you have a zero extra. But  it still ain't gonna happen... to be honest I think a weekly wine run of  4km will be good for my health. This will be a very sedentary few  weeks...

----------


## Mendip

I've had my second full day in the office now and am settling in. 

I've spent many years on and off working in Norway, but this is my first experience of Swedish office culture...

It's nice and friendly... the Swedes have embraced remote working and my project boss is on the west coast of The States and my immediate staff boss (female) is 'stuck' in the Caribbean due to Covid... yeah right... and my main office staff lead is also female, and works around 6 hours a week due to children issues (her twins are 5...)

Most Swedish managers and bosses seem to be female, which is unusual for me, but I appreciate that is my problem, not theirs.

I've spent many years on and off working in Norway and the difference with the Swedes is striking...

The Swedes are even more laid back... and sorry lom but the Norwegian oil company clients are gonna eat them for breakfast. I can see it... go in cheap to win the work and the likes of these huge oil companies will draw them in and then fvck them over. The 'hill monkeys' as Helge calls them are way more business savvy. (by the way, where are you Helge... are we going out for a pint?)

But on the good side lom, the Swedes are way more office toilet hygienic. The Norwegians leave the pan in a worse condition than the Scots, but here it is all very clean, maybe because they have 'mixed' toilets in the office and that helps the guys keep their shit together... boom boom...

Anyway... as I was searching for a '_Systembolag_' and a '_Bankomat_', I struck gold on Google Maps. Only a bloody 'Red Lionomat' in the area, and it's just a walk away!

My plan now is to do a wine and cash run tomorrow evening, and then a Red Lion run on Saturday, late afternoon. This could make the weeks more bearable.



I put mu itinerary together... Coco has it all in order.

Maybe I'll even get a steak and kidney pie... The Red Lion's gotta be English. Lom... any experience?

Who knows, maybe the trainee fancies a pint...?  :Smile:

----------


## Chittychangchang

> Maybe I'll even get a steak and kidney pie... The Red Lion's gotta be English. 
> 
> Who knows, maybe the trainee fancies a pint


Things are looking up mate, Coco will be proud!

----------


## fishlocker

... I'll be expected to know what I'm about and sound vaguely intelligent... so I at least want to look the part!

That's it! That's how I'm going to sell myself! Wrapped in cellophane on a polypropylene plate. 

The fish comes home for dinner. 

Just a bit of fun, I trust as is well with you and yours.  Sounds like quite the adventure.  Best wishes, the fishes.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Maybe I'll even get a steak and kidney pie... The Red Lion's gotta be English. Lom... any experience?
> 
> Who knows, maybe the trainee fancies a pint...?


That's a plan!

----------


## katie23

@mendip - if you start making 2L of wine this weekend, you'll have lots of cheap wine for your going away party in 4 or more weeks!  :Very Happy:  Glad you're settling in nicely. Cheers!

----------


## lom

> The Red Lion's gotta be English. Lom... any experience?


Sorry, it wasn't there when I last was in that part of town 20 years ago  :Smile:  
Facebook reviews are good and they have 16 taps of independent ales to waste your hard earned on..
Apparently you have to book a table by phoning them or by their facebook page (left column, Boka Bord)
Especially important for Fridays and Saturdays (Swedish drinking nights) or footie game days 

When walking up Älvsborgsgatan you should take a look at Restaurant Silverkällan which was one of my favorite lunch places, I was surprised too see that it is still there. Ask your Swedish work colleges what they think about it today. Swedish home-cooking, was aroi maak.

A bit higher up, at the corner of Älvsborgsgatan-Mariagatan, is Ölstugan Tullen (Bierstufe BeerCottage) with
a good assortment of bladder fillers. I've been to their old place, here was a good Italian Restaurant before.

----------


## Mendip

> ... they have 16 taps of independent ales...


But do they have cider? I'll have to find out.

I'll do a recce walk over the weekend and start exploring. I need to get into Göteborg city centre at some point... the old city? It's supposed to be well worth seeing.

And sorry Lom for being so rude about your home town when I first arrived... I'm starting to settle in now and it seems quite nice!

I'll try and get a few more pics for you to bring back the memories. 

My main regret is not having Coco and my photographer assistant daughter with me... what a thread we could have made!

----------


## David48atTD

*G.O. SARS*

Watching this ship now operating out of Norway on a discovery mission about those small deep water 'volcanoes' (hydro thermal vent fields) looking at life deep down there.



https://www.kongsberg.com/maritime/s...nces/g.o.sars/




A walk around the vessel below.

----------


## OhOh

Mendip, opening up one country after another to the benefit of our TD audience.

He'll be travelling on a diplomatic passport next. 


Along with his security/virus sniffing dog Coco.

----------


## Edmond

10/1 he knocks up Agnetha.  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

^
He's saving himself for someone with green fingers I hear. 

Nail varnish is not the same as a bit of Thai soil.

----------


## lom

> And sorry Lom for being so rude about your home town when I first arrived... I'm starting to settle in now and it seems quite nice!


Eh, you were only a bit miserable after two month on a boat followed by two days in memory lane. 
It was one of those Mondays, we all have them.




> My main regret is not having Coco and my photographer assistant daughter with me... what a thread we could have made!


and how I finally would be able to get the upper hand over Neverna  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

Mendip, this job is land based for its entirety?

----------


## Mendip

> *G.O. SARS*
> 
> Watching this ship now operating out of Norway on a discovery mission about those small deep water 'volcanoes' (hydro thermal vent fields) looking at life deep down there.


Yep... remember those coral mounds a few pages back... hydrothermal vents... you heard it here first!





> 10/1 he knocks up Agnetha.


My, I mean _the_ trainee is English from Devon mate... normal name.

And I'd want better odds than that to take the bet... although she did show a bit of interest in a pint in The Red Lion...

I've discovered she has a graduate boyfriend who works in Zurich in financials... although what she's doing with some age-appropriate yuppy when she could be sitting at a bar drinking cider and eating steak and kidney pie and chips with me, I don't know. Youngsters these days, hey... Maybe her old man would fancy a pint!  :Smile: 




> ^
> He's saving himself for someone with green fingers I hear.


Ha... the first gardener related comment for some time... one small indiscretion...

But that reminds me, as did Ootai also today, my chickens are overdue for their fowl cholera vaccinations... that falls under the gardener's remit while I'm away.





> Mendip, this job is land based for its entirety?


Yes Nid, this is the same company as I was offshore with and I've been tasked with finishing up a load of projects and writing up the reports. Not bad work to be honest, but after 8 weeks on a boat it'll be a struggle...

But... Covid of course has changed everything. When you can't feasibly get home and I reckon within a couple of weeks the UK will be in lockdown... it kind of changes your outlook. I'd rather be homeless with work and lodgings than just homeless... I'm happy for these guys to throw all the work they have at me.

----------


## Mendip

I'm not finding the office particularly friendly... but that's no reflection on the Swedes at all who have all been very welcoming. The area I'm working in has a lot of English staff geos and they're just not interested. There can often be some animosity from staff towards contractors in this industry... but I'm old and ugly enough not to be bothered by that.

And besides, today was the day... I left work a bit early to head into town and find a  wine shop, an ATM and hopefully The Red Lion... although I was alone. 

But bollocks to that, it was pissing it down... a 4km round trip in the rain, no thanks. 

And anyway, it gives my trainee a day to reconsider!



Instead I headed up to the 7-22 to pick up some provisions, including a 6-pack of Heineken... which at 3.5% is the strongest allowed to be sold in a supermarket. Not a great Friday night in the making, but ya have to make an effort!

I found a short cut to the shop behind my student digs, and Lom's old stomping ground. 




> The mess hall, I ate there as young signal corps officer when on a temporary assignment to the navy base. Oh memory lane..


I'm wondering Lom, could this have been that mess hall? ... a similar looking building with a couple of anchors outside... obviously a naval background... It's just up the hill a bit from the first building, behind the docks. Near a graveyard if you remember that from 20 years ago...



I followed one of the many cycle tracks and found these... Lom? Old stables maybe? The Navy always needed stuff lugging around. A couple of old-timers were using them as workshops today.



And this... a bloody great torpedo in a car park... It's got little hooks at the snout, why's that?

What's going on Lom?

----------


## CalEden

> It appears you left just in time.
> 
> *Farmers' union warns walkers after cows trample man to death* 
> 
> _"NFU urges dog owners to let them off leads if approached by cattle after teacher dies.
> 
> A schoolteacher from North Yorkshire has become at least the second  member of the public to be trampled to death by cows in the UK this  year, as the National Farmers Union (NFU) urged walkers to let their  dogs off their leads if they are charged by cattle."
> _
> Farmers' union warns walkers after cows trample man to death | UK news | The Guardian



Mad Cow is back in the isles.

----------


## lom

> I'm wondering Lom, could this have been that mess hall? ... a similar looking building with a couple of anchors outside... obviously a naval background... It's just up the hill a bit from the first building, behind the docks. Near a graveyard if you remember that from 20 years ago...


No, that area was apartments for navy staff and their families. 





> I followed one of the many cycle tracks and found these... Lom? Old stables maybe? The Navy always needed stuff lugging around. A couple of old-timers were using them as workshops today.


They have the typical look of military storage mews but I don't reckon where they are.

----------


## Mendip

^ They are up behind the Navy staff apartments... storage mews would make sense.

I like it round here... this morning just as it was getting light I looked out of my window and there were two great big hares trotting across the car park... each easily the size of Coco. The last time I saw a hare was many years ago in that same field the killer cows nearly got me. The harriers and their beagles used to come round every year and kill a load of them... a great shame.

On the way home from fishing on Blagdon Lake one evening I found a dead hare on the side of the road. It was still warm and limp, so I took it home and made a big potted hare stew. I skinned it to use the fur for tying flies. The 'hare's ear nymph' is a favourite fly in the West Country and I bet that hare's dried out ears are still in the loft of my mum's house, 35 years later. But anyway, I'll try and get a photo of them before I leave this place.

Tonight was a revelation to me... I discovered the whistling lasagne... what will these Scandinavians think of next. A German girl (it's like the United Nations here) saw me struggling trying to get the top off my evening meal, and advised me how to proceed...

You just stick it in the microwave... no need to take the top off or even try and translate the microwave times... it bladdy whistles like a kettle when it's ready!



Anyone could make this.

----------


## katie23

^whistling lasagna! Who'd have thunk!  :Very Happy: 

Does your workplace have a cafeteria for its employees? Or a common kitchen (with stoves, knives, etc) aside from microwave? I gather that your room is just sleeping quarters with bathroom and it has no kitchen. Does it have a common/ shared kitchen at the end of the hallway (dormitory style)?

Cheers!

----------


## Mendip

^ Katie, no cafeteria at work but I do have what they call a kitchenette in my student bedsit. I boiled some eggs tonight for this week's lunches... it's all pretty shite really.



There's six other 'apartments' on this building, and there's also a shared kitchen... but it's a bit manky so I've only risked using the microwave so far. I found a whistling spag bol this weekend as well!



These were on the kitchen table... at first I thought it was a condiment set, but there were no holes. Whatever could these be used for? I've heard rumours about Sweden but the mind boggles...



The whole set up is pretty shite to be honest... normally for this type of work you'd be put up in a hotel with breakfast provided and a lunch at work. That would leave the _per diem_ for a couple of beers in the evening. But... I'm compromising a lot due to Covid... your attitude changes when you can't get home, and with such an uncertain future it makes sense to earn the money while it's there.

To make life more bearable I decided to leave work a bit early tonight and head out to find the _Systembolaget_... this is the government run alcohol shop for anything stronger than 3.5%. My Highland Park evaporated over the weekend and I can't keep drinking tins of Heineken.

You take your bladdy life in your hands walking along these paths... the cyclists come out of no-where and they don't hang about.



A view back towards the docks after about 20 minutes walk... looks like a Maersk container ship being unloaded. Oh, and a big red rock.



I know where to bring my stale bread in the evenings. While it still stays light it looks as though I'll be sitting on the beach feeding the ducks for an hour while sipping a beer... not quite the same as sitting with my dogs.



Some urban street art for Chitty...



And now it starts to get proper busy. I have never seen such confusing pavements... they're divided up for the cyclists who seem to be taking over in Sweden.



In fact Sweden is just full of b@stard cyclists. Everyone is either cycling, jogging, scootering or even skateboarding... and that's grown men, not just kids. I don't know why they can't just walk anywhere. Even the walkers are doing this silly power walking. Everyone in Sweden must be permanently knackered.



Added to that, on the roads along with cars and buses there's trams zipping about all over the place... I didn't risk crossing the pavement, let alone a road. I've never been on a tram and I have no intention of changing that.



And finally... my destination. I did risk stepping back across the pavement for this pic and very nearly got flattened by yet another bloody cyclist.



But all said and done, despite the country being completely fokked up, the Swedes are nice people. The girl in the _Systembolaget_ actually apologised to me (in perfect English) for addressing me in Swedish... although the worrying thing there is that she mistook me for a Swede. I see now why Lom can correct native English speaker's English... these guys are great linguists.

The girl in the _Systenbolaget_ also recommended me this bladdy organic wine, and she was so nice I ended up sticking it in me basket. I hung around a while longer to try and secretly swap it for something else, but she kept her eye on me so I ended up buying it. Maybe they're not as sweet and innocent as they seem?

On my way back one of these power walkers actually said hello to me... which caught me by surprise... until I realised it was one of the managers (female of course) from the office. I'm getting that 'they all look the same syndrome'... yet another petite blonde with a mane of long hair. I guess if you're all gonna look the same it's not a bad way to be!

And dinner... I've found the Heinz beans... if I can only find some decent pies this may not turn out so bad after all!



And after nearly a week in Sweden, my favourite thing I've found.

I've always loved a bit of 70s music, as does the wife. That's the souvenirs sorted out!

----------


## Chittychangchang

:smiley laughing: ABBA in a tin priceless.

I recommend you borrow or buy a bike for the duration of your stay there, if you can't beat them join them.
Plus it'll keep the weight off and keep you fit, the Swedes appear to have a decent cycling set up going there.
I've lost 8kilos in 7 months through lockdown cycling.

Is that a full tin of baked beans on your plate? Respeckt :Smile: 
Cheers for the street art pics, appreciated 

How many cheese doodles can you fit in your mouth without chewing them?
If they're like wotsits, then I can do a full pack.

Btw the rumours about Swedes partaking in anal as a national sport I can concur having had a few Swedish girlfriends in the past.
You are right to give the table decorations a wide berth.

----------


## lom

> Katie, no cafeteria at work but I do have what  they call a kitchenette in my student bedsit. I boiled some eggs tonight  for this week's lunches... it's all pretty shite really.


There are cafeterias and lunch restaurants nearby where you can spend your hard earned.




> The whole set up is pretty shite to be honest...  normally for this type of work you'd be put up in a hotel with breakfast  provided and a lunch at work.


and neither did they provide a nanny, maybe they thought they hired a big boy.. Bless that it is only a one month gig. :rofl: 




> My Highland Park evaporated over the weekend and I can't keep drinking tins of Heineken.


Why? Nowhere to hide the empties?  :Smile: 




> . Oh, and a big red rock.


This part  of town is known as Klippan (The Cliff) and Röda Sten (Red Stone) is a  sub of it, the square house with graffiti was once the boiler house for  hot water to nearby industries but is now an art hall.
The red brick complex you get to  directly afterwards was once a sugar mill and porter brewery. 
Looks like they have torn down parts of it and built modern apartments on the left side.




> I've always loved a bit of 70s music, as does the wife. That's the souvenirs sorted out!


Tuna (or is that tune?) inside.

----------


## Shutree

Adobe Organic Wine. Real wine. Better than anything in a box in Isan. At what price though?

----------


## Klondyke

> In fact Sweden is just full of b@stard cyclists. Everyone is either cycling, jogging, scootering or even skateboarding... and that's grown men, not just kids. I don't know why they can't just walk anywhere. Even the walkers are doing this silly power walking


Quite a change for you in comparison with Thai cities, isn't it?
 Similarly in Holland, Denmark, Germany, etc., the people are not so rich as in Thailand to afford motorised wheels...

----------


## Mendip

> There are cafeterias and lunch restaurants nearby where you can spend your hard earned.
> 
> ..and neither did they provide a nanny, maybe they thought they hired a big boy.. Bless that it is only a one month gig.


Yes... both points taken Lom... I don't want to come across like a whinging pom!

I'm working 11 hour days and don't really want to waste time going out for lunch, and that would mean being social as well. An egg roll will suffice today, but it would be nice to have a proper breakfast...

... a one month gig... and a week passed already. It's a really strange situation as usually I'd be looking forward to get the work finished up and get home. 

But, unless something drastically changes with the Thai Covid entry restrictions (very unlikely) and if the UK goes into complete lockdown (very likely) I'm gonna be homeless after this. Maybe I should just wind it in a bit and ne grateful to have a bed at night.




> Adobe Organic Wine. Real wine. Better than anything in a box in Isan. At what price though?


The wine cost 228 Swedish Krona... or 20 quid in real money. That would be 800 Baht up in Isaan!

----------


## lom

> The wine cost 228 Swedish Krona... or 20 quid in real money. That would be 800 Baht up in Isaan!


For 3liter of a 2016 Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon. Was it ok?

----------


## Mendip

Not bad at all... I'm limiting myself to 3 glasses a night, and that's not pint glasses. I'll try a different box next week.

I also got meself a couple of tine of Swedish cider for 17Kr each... I'll try them tonight.

I've noticed that prices in Sweden are a lot lower than in Norway.

----------


## lom

> I've noticed that prices in Sweden are a lot lower than in Norway.


and so is the monthly paycheck..  :Smile: 

I spend school summer vacation near Norway and we used to pop over the boarder on our mopeds to buy icecream.
How we laughed at them for their old rusty cars and their narrow bumpy roads. Then they found oil. We don't laugh anymore..

----------


## lom

> I also got meself a couple of tine of Swedish cider for 17Kr each... I'll try them tonight.


I don't expect a positive review of those..

----------


## Mendip

I was talking to a Norwegian about just the same thing while on the Havila Subsea. 

He was telling me that all the isolated houses we saw way up in the north of Norway on the remote islands would have basically belonged to a family relying on fishing and subsistence farming, with a couple of sheep and a cow for milk... and this was the case right up to the 70s... and then they struck oil. 

Not many subsistence farmers around now, and today each of those remote islands has a very expensive bridge or tunnel connecting it to the mainland.

He also told me that salmon farming is worth almost as much to Norway as the oil and gas... which I find hard to believe.

But one thing is for certain, Norway is an incredibly wealthy country.

----------


## Klondyke

> But one thing is for certain, Norway is an incredibly wealthy country.


But whenever I speak to a Norwegian he cries about the living costs, especially the taxes...

----------


## Shutree

> The wine cost 228 Swedish Krona... or 20 quid in real money. That would be 800 Baht up in Isaan!


That's a pretty good deal, five quid a bottle for drinkable wine.

Do let us know about the Swedish cider.

----------


## armstrong

Have you been to the Red Lion yet?

----------


## Mendip

The Norwegian sovereign wealth fund has topped $1 trillion... the country's future looks very good but many Norwegians want to reap the benefits now instead of paying huge taxes and having a huge cost of living now to benefit future generations.

The trick is to earn Norwegian money, not live there and find a legal way to reduce Norwegian income tax liability... but that's another story...  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Do let us know about the Swedish cider.


No problem!




> Have you been to the Red Lion yet?


No... I nearly went last night but the pavements were too dangerous... and 11 hours in the office is eating into my socialising time.

This week one night for sure...

----------


## OhOh

> but that's another story..


One hopes not including a certain Nigerian financial friend.

----------


## Mendip

> Do let us know about the Swedish cider.



As promised...

A brace of ciders (or a pear!  :Smile: )... 



First up... Swedish apple cider

When considering that they don't have much flat land on which to put apple orchards, this isn't a bad effort I guess. But it's extremely sweet and gassy and not a patch on a proper Somerset cider. I'd give it a 4/10 purely because it's 7% and gives you a buzz.



Next up... Swedish pear cider

When considering...   same as above but it tastes of pears instead of apples...

But nah, that's bollox, they both taste exactly the same. I'd defy anyone to tell the difference in a taste test wearing a blindfold.



Sorry Lom... 





> Is that a full tin of baked beans on your plate? Respeckt
> 
> How many cheese doodles can you fit in your mouth without chewing them?
> If they're like wotsits, then I can do a full pack.
> 
> Btw the rumours about Swedes partaking in anal as a national sport I can concur having had a few Swedish girlfriends in the past.
> You are right to give the table decorations a wide berth.



Have you kept any of their phone numbers mate? I've had a couple of ciders now and fancy going out...  :Smile: 

... and I'm getting bored with stuffing Cheezey Doodles in my mouth.





> Don't order that POTY trophy off Lazada just yet Mendy.


I'll leave it in the basket for now then!

But no fancy videos needed here... I made this entire meal with just a microwave and a spoon.

(with the other half of my tin of beans Chitty)

----------


## David48atTD

^  Made me smile


BTW ... have you sourced any scales yet?

Not fish scales, nor heavy machinery scales ... but some weigh *Mendip* scales  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> but some weigh Mendip scales



 :rofl: 

A strangely absent topic...

----------


## armstrong

Koppaberg is a summers day cider.  I doubt it meets your "real cider" expectations.  It's a man's Bacardi Breezer.

----------


## lom

> Sorry Lom...


Well, it was expected..  :Smile: 

Swedish produced cider is usually of the sweet kind while British or French cider is usually dry or semi-dry. 
Kopparberg Brewery makes a semi-dry named Naked Apple with less buzz than the ones you bought..

Skåne, the southernmost part of Sweden, is famous for its apple orchards and the brand Kiviks is produced there, they've made ciders long before it became fancy to drink cider in Sweden. 

Here's a link to Systembolagets assortment of dry/semi-dry ciders, you have quite a few to chose between:

Sok dryck

click the bottom link "visa fler sökträffar" for more


quick translator:
torr och halvtorr  =  dry and semidry
flaska = bottle
burk = can

or maybe just ask the darling in the shop to help you with your needs.

----------


## ootai

> or maybe just ask the darling in the shop to help you with your needs.


If he does that it will have nothing to do with cider!!!

Mendip I got your email thanks I will have a look tomorrow when I go to Korat to see your friendly dentist again.

----------


## Mendip

Good luck Ootai!

You can't blame me if you have a second bad experience.

But just remember while you're in agonising pain... I reckon she's pretty cute behind that mask!

----------


## Saint Willy

Does a cute face negate the pain?

----------


## Mendip

^ Yes, I would say so.

She perforated my sinus tube and I didn't mind in the slightest!

Although let's see what Ootai says... he had a much worse experience than I.

And by the way... I've hunted high and low but still no scales to be found anywhere.

----------


## lom

> And by the way... I've hunted high and low but still no scales to be found anywhere.


Tried nearby heavy industries?

----------


## Mendip

^ I thought better of you Lom...

If Coco didn't still owe you so may greens I think a red would be in order for that remark!

One thing for sure though... I won't be over-eating in Sweden!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Tried nearby heavy industries?


 :smiley laughing:  :smiley laughing:  :smiley laughing:

----------


## OhOh

> Tried nearby heavy industries?


Many farm supply stores have large weighing machines and understanding and knowledgeable assistants. A search of the internet is always a good start.

----------


## Mendip

Maybe I should do a selfie on the weighbridge at the entrance of the docks... just to keep everyone amused?  :Smile: 

But FFS... as I've said before, this is a thread about the trials and tribulations of commuting for work during these awful Covid times... it's not a thread about my weight (which isn't as outrageously bad as people seem to think).

But a few questions for Lom tonight...

I've noticed several doorways into the solid rock around here Lom... at first I though it must be just people taking advantage of natural caves but this rock is hard... metamorphic by the looks of things and not normally conducive to cave formation. These underground areas must have been hewn out of solid rock at great effort... I can see the evidence of drill and blast at the edge of road cuttings.



And another...



And this looks like some kind of bunker from the war? But Sweden was neutral?



And from behind...



I need a local historian Lom... all these pics were from my office area.

And another... a green if anyone can spot the link!  :Smile: 



I needed help with this work and managed to get an old Russian mate from Saratov on the project... partly because he's a damn fine geo, but mainly because he doesn't drink!

Yep, a bottle of duty free came my way!



I'm as shallow and corruptible as that... but I needed cheering up after reading Thai Dhupp's fine story about the difficulties of returning to Thailand. 

Maybe I'll be contributing to Bogon's thread before the night is out...  :02:

----------


## Saint Willy

A very fine drop. Enjoy. 





> it's not a thread about my weight (which isn't as outrageously bad as people seem to think).


But how would you know, or more importantly prove that?






> but I needed cheering up after reading Thai Dhupp's fine story about the difficulties of returning to Thailand



keep the work up? $$ in the pocket helps.

----------


## lom

> 've noticed several doorways into the solid rock around here Lom... at first I though it must be just people taking advantage of natural caves but this rock is hard... metamorphic by the looks of things and not normally conducive to cave formation. These underground areas must have been hewn out of solid rock at great effort... I can see the evidence of drill and blast at the edge of road cuttings.


All mountains in and around Gothenburg is of gneiss, go 100km North and there it is all granite.
The doors you see are entrances to a huge man made mountain room that once was part of Gothenburg's harbor defense.





> And this looks like some kind of bunker from the war? But Sweden was neutral?


Maybe an air exhaust from the mountain room? 




> I need a local historian Lom... all these pics were from my office area.


Nya Varvet has a long history but I guess that is not of general interest for other TD member so I'll send it to you as a PM.

----------


## Mendip

^ Lom, fascinating stuff... thanks for that.

I've revoked the red you had coming for the 'heavy industries' comment!

I thought it was gneiss but I didn't want to show off. That's Betty Boo's favourite rock type by the way... I wonder where he is these days?

I called my daughter today from the office and the first thing she said was, 'Papa, are you at the airport?'

She'd mistaken the glass office walls for the windows at an airport... when I told her I was still at work her disappointment was palpable. Nearly had me making an entry in Bogon's thread to be honest.

This is a really strange situation... I'm into my tenth week of 12 hour shifts (well... only 11 hours in the office)... and I can feel the signs. I've been there before... but when you can't just jump on a flight home it changes everything. 

The Aberlour is evaporating even faster than the Highland Park did.

Bloody Covid.

But rest assured... this week I will look for some scales!

----------


## Neverna

> I need a local historian Lom... all these pics were from my office area.
> 
> And another... a green if anyone can spot the link!


The link is ... Swede!

Parsnips and swedes. Wonderful vegetables.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yes!

Nev, well done! Green owed (this all sounds very familiar)...

A Swede in Sweden!

I can't wait until I visit the capital of Belgium one day!

----------


## Edmond

> I called my daughter today from the office and the first thing she said was, 'Papa, are you at the airport?'
> 
> She'd mistaken the glass office walls for the windows at an airport... when I told her I was still at work her disappointment was palpable.


Aww bless. So you get called 'Papa' too. We were in Europe a few years ago and my relatives found that adorable.


Don't worry, you'll be back home soon.

----------


## Mendip

I've always been 'Papa'... I don't know why, I've never pushed anything, that's just the way it turned out.

I don't think it's anything to do with the Thai '_Pa_...', my daughter's not particularly _'Thai'_ and my wife has certainly never been '_Mehr_...', always mum... or more specifically 'mom' these days, which annoys me intensely.

----------


## Saint Willy

> always mum... or more specifically 'mom' these days, which annoys me intensely.


I go with the flow on that one. Annoys my Aussie family, but whatever. 




> I called my daughter today from the office and the first thing she said was, 'Papa, are you at the airport?'
> 
> She'd mistaken the glass office walls for the windows at an airport... when I told her I was still at work her disappointment was palpable. Nearly had me making an entry in Bogon's thread to be honest.


I know the feeling, that hurts.

----------


## ootai

> I called my daughter today from the office and the first thing she said was, 'Papa, are you at the airport?'
> 
> She'd mistaken the glass office walls for the windows at an airport... when I told her I was still at work her disappointment was palpable. Nearly had me making an entry in Bogon's thread to be honest.
> 
> This is a really strange situation... I'm into my tenth week of 12 hour shifts (well... only 11 hours in the office)... and I can feel the signs. I've been there before... but when you can't just jump on a flight home it changes everything.



Mendip
I think you need to start doing some work toward getting home, re what Thai Dhupp did.  If you start doing that then the feeling of melancholy and hopelessness will dissipate a little.
Doing nothing and thinking that this bad situation will continue indefinitely only multiplies the feeling of helplessness.
Have you been exercising that also helps you feel better.

On Friday I managed to visit the dentist and escaped unscathed. She may be "cute" but that didn't lessen the pain she put me through.
I also had a look at the place you told me about re getting some hens.
Do you know how to tell how old they are as some in one pen looked younger than the ones in the other pen.  I would really like to get some that are going to lay ASAP but don't want to pay B200 for ones that will stop laying too soon.

Keep the chin up time will take care of everything and will work out in your favour as long as you are doing all you can to help it happen the way you want it to.
Approach it the same you did regarding recession proofing your chances of work i.e. be a "smart" geo.

All the best

----------


## Stumpy

> Mendip
> I think you need to start doing some work toward getting home, re what Thai Dhupp did. If you start doing that then the feeling of melancholy and hopelessness will dissipate a little.


Mendip,
I agree with Ootai, get the process started now. There will likely be delays but you can build some momentum and then see light at the end of the tunnel. I know without question your daughter misses her Pop but do not forget about your Gardener. He hasn't "caught you" in awhile and he is probably feeling a bit left out. And of course your dogs and the drinking table.  All good reasons to get crackin to return back.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Today I initiated proceedings... only by sending an email to the Thai Consulate in Gothenburg, but as they say the longest journey starts with the first step. 

And I guess it does kind of eel better to make that first step!

Ootai, those hens in the pens will be about 5 months old and usually start to lay within a few weeks, and have their entire egg laying career ahead. They will have come from the rearing station, mostly enroute to a battery farm. I guess the ones you see are the lucky ones if they go to a good home. The Thai battery farms are horrendous.

Whenever I go to pick up animal feed my daughter always wants to 'rescue' a couple of hens, which is why we now have about 40 of the bloody things and my cholesterol level has gone through the roof. 

And another 'gardener' comment... I guess I should be grateful it wasn't another comment about my weight...

----------


## Stumpy

> And another 'gardener' comment... I guess I should be grateful it wasn't another comment about my weight...


Well your gardener needs love to ya know... :rofl: 

Best of luck on your trek back.

----------


## Saint Willy

> And another 'gardener' comment... I guess I should be grateful it wasn't another comment about my weight...


You might find that the extra weight you;ve put on might turn the gardener off... or not






> I called my daughter today from the office and the first thing she said was, 'Papa, are you at the airport?'
> 
> She'd mistaken the glass office walls for the windows at an airport... when I told her I was still at work her disappointment was palpable. Nearly had me making an entry in Bogon's thread to be honest.


Just coming back to this comment, remember that kids are resilient. (often more so than adults, she'll be right as rain.)

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah... she's a tough kid and will be fine... it's me who has the problem!

Her mum loves her - maybe spoils here too much for my liking but I can bring that back in line very quickly. 

And now my turn to come back to a comment... I haven't put on weight... lost weight if anything.

And... my relationship with the gardener is purely professional... I pay him and he gardens, end of.

Well, not quite end of... he keeps my 17 soi dogs fed and watered while I'm away and is absolutely key to my daughter's welfare, allowing me to work away - that's the real reason I employ him.

And that's it!!!

----------


## Edmond

^ You're fooling no one Bendy-Mendy. 


Men Dip.

Now the name's starting to make sense.  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

My dad worked away a lot when I was a kid and I worked out just fine.. 

 :tieme:

----------


## Bogon

^ Think I saw you at the Londoner this afternoon.  Was gonna say hello, but didn't want to make it awkward for both of us, so left it and enjoyed my roast and pints.





> I pay him and he gardens, end of.


You spelt 'slowly wanks me off to sleep' wrong.  :Smile: 

Hope you make it back sooner rather than later. Them peas 'aint gonna boil themselves.

----------


## armstrong

> ^ Think I saw you at the Londoner this afternoon.  Was gonna say hello, but didn't want to make it awkward for both of us, so left it and enjoyed my roast and pints.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You spelt 'slowly wanks me off to sleep' wrong. 
> 
> Hope you make it back sooner rather than later. Them peas 'aint gonna boil themselves.


I was there!

----------


## Mendip

> Well your gardener needs love to ya know...






> You might find that the extra weight you;ve put on might turn the gardener off... or not






> ^ You're fooling no one Bendy-Mendy. 
> 
> Men Dip.
> 
> Now the name's starting to make sense.






> You spelt 'slowly wanks me off to sleep' wrong.



Ya know guys... one day in the future I'm planning on introducing my lovely daughter to this thread to show her what a fantastic, devoted dad she has!

These ain't the kind of comments I'm hoping for...

The gardener walked in on me during a _very rare_ moment of weakness... end of.

I, for one, have been trying to forget about it.

----------


## lom

> I boiled some eggs tonight for this week's lunches... it's all pretty shite really.


No wonder you're losing weight  :Smile: 




> The whole set up is pretty shite to be honest... normally for this type of work you'd be put up in a hotel with breakfast provided and a lunch at work. That would leave the per diem for a couple of beers in the evening. But... I'm compromising a lot due to Covid...


Could it be that the company you're working for is also affected by covid and have to cut down on their expenses? 
I don't get why you are working 11-12 hours a day when you instead could make the job last a bit longer and not have to stay at a Stockholm hotel for a couple of weeks waiting for travel clearance to Thailand.

----------


## Mendip

The problem is Lom... 

... this Swedish outfit is trying to break in to the Norwegian market and tbh it's a big step up for them. The Norwegians pay better, have very unionised staff contracts and have been doing the offshore stuff for years. This outfit cut their teeth doing nearshore surveys and archaeological stuff... a different ball game.

Covid is a huge problem for them, and all offshore contractors (and oil companies)... offshore workers are exempt from quarantine rules but that's only if you're heading directly to/from a boat... for any office work the rules are applied in full force. But, of course, many people just don't want to travel if they don't have to... staff guys are getting paid anyway and companies are on dodgy ground forcing them to travel... workers rights, safety and all that good stuff.

But all said and done it could be a good opportunity for me so I'm trying to keep an open mind. Student digs instead of a hotel is no deal breaker... though I never thought I'd find a country with worse telly than Norway... Sweden has then beat.

And as a contractor, 10 hour days, 7 days a week are expected for office work. I generally do 11 to 12 hours, partly because that has kept me busily employed as a freelance living the wrong part of the world for 3 decades, but mainly because tonight, I have the choice of a Swedish quiz show or a documentary about a Swedish female weight lifter to watch on tv... all in Swedish... work is the better option.

But I know what you're saying... spinning it out isn't an option but once I get into an office I can generally manipulate things to get a lot more work thrown at me...

----------


## lom

> tonight, I have the choice of a Swedish quiz show or a documentary about a Swedish female weight lifter to watch on tv... all in Swedish...


How things changes, eh? Norwegians in the border areas usually had their antennas pointing towards Sweden in the nineties. :Smile: 
You should anyway have more to select from than two channels, there are at least five free channels in the terrestrial digital tv network (and some 30++ pay channels). Who needs TV btw when you have high-speed internet..

----------


## Mendip

> How things changes, eh? Norwegians in the border areas usually had their antennas pointing towards Sweden in the nineties.


That was for your porn Lom!  :Smile: 

I remember when I first started working in Norway in the early 90s... was it Filmnet or Canal Plus that put up hard core porn on Friday and Saturday night? 

The strange thing was, after a few seconds the Norwegian censor would slap a box across the tv screen, but you still got a couple of inches around the edges to see... and if you watched long enough you could get enough glimpses of the good bits to sort yerself out. Frustrating of course, but no gardener to worry about back then!

----------


## Saint Willy

sounds like you need to get back onto a boat.

----------


## Mendip

^ That's starting to look like an option sadly...


Well, I took my first step yesterday and had a reply from the Thai Consulate in Gothenburg today... with a pdf attached...





Much as I don't like to give up at the first hurdle... this seems pretty impossible for me to do from Sweden, although I do qualify as being eligible for a flight and I have the insurance in place.

But... the last thing I want is to end up stuck in Gothenburg (no offense Lom) waiting for weeks on end for an available flight to come up.... for 1 to 4 months! I have no accommodation once this work has finished, and board and lodging ain't cheap in Sweden. I've also no long term relationship with these contractors who won't take kindly to me asking them to cover flights maybe weeks after my work is done... they generally stick personnel on reduced cost tickets anyway.

I'm gonna have a rethink...

I'm also going to locate The Red Lion tonight to find a bar stool from which to do my thinking...

----------


## Chittychangchang

> I'm also going to locate The Red Lion tonight to find a bar stool from which to do my thinking...


Always a good for seeing things from a different perspective. 
You could always fly back to Blighty then do the repatriation waiting there.
Cheaper and more chances of a sooner flight.
Don't reckon there will be a second full lockdown here,  just continuing restrictions .

----------


## OhOh

> I'm gonna have a rethink...


Do not despair. A ray of sunshine has just peeked through the Bangkok clouds.

I'm currently on day 6 in my Bangkok AQS.

The UK Thai Embassy issues initially similarly re "repatriation" flights.

However, the UK Thai embassy, who surprisingly were very helpful and responded quickly, pointed out themselves:

1. That due to their flight backlog, that they would issue to COE  for an Emirates Airlines flight and possibly other ME airlines.
 2. EA would accept the paperwork from the Thai Embassy for transit  through Dubai and flight/entry into Thailand. Presumably due to a Dubai  transit, means you are flying into Thailand from Dubai.

I would suggest a polite inquiry back to the embassy querying if a  flight with EA, from Oslo via Dubai, to Bangkok, would be acceptable.  Worth a try.

If you need to fly back to UK the London Thai embassy accepts the  necessary documents via email and issues the documents, once your  application has been approved, back to you via email.

If you choose returning via UK, or the same I suspect in Oslo, timing of  your virus test is very important. Test are readily available in  London. But the 76 hour from departure, window of the virus test is  critical. EA has their own time limits, 96 hours from date and time of  test. 

All other embassy requirements can be accomplished again via email and a  well stocked credit/debit card. Flights, virus tests, AQS hotels etc.

When I applied I also sent copies of my wife's passport details, marriage certificate, Thai ID and Thai house blue book entries. Mine is a Thai Spouse visa.

EA flights from Oslo to Bangkok are also cheaper. The downside with EA  is it's flight from Dubai to Bangkok was 100% full. Flying back to the  UK, via Frankfurt (Lufnansa) and returning, London to Dubai (EA), the  flights were 30% full.

1. Confirm EA is acceptable - Embassy
2. Confirm virus tests are available available. In Oslo? 

In London try this site.  Today, 5,10,2020, they have about 12 sites in London open Monday to Saturday and plenty of booking slots.

https://www.doctap.co.uk/services/coronavirus-test/

Book GP Appointment Online Today | PS34 Doctor appointments | DocTap

3. Confirm EA can get you from departing Oslo to Bangkok in 72 hours and 96 hours from virus test

4. London has more flights to Dubai than Oslo but are more expensive

5. Have another beer.

Good luck

It is achievable.

PS. The UK and presumably Oslo embassy, will not issue your COE until you have a booking confirmation from your chosen AQS hotel, enquire and book with them directly, and a confirmed flight booked. Timing of ordering/paying for these and your virus test is the key to a stress free journey. The AQS will issue you with a confirmed quarantine booking, EA flights similarly.

----------


## Mendip

> If you choose returning via UK, or the same I suspect in Oslo, timing of  your virus test is very important. Test are readily available in  London. But the 76 hour from departure, window of the virus test is  critical. EA has their own time limits, 96 hours from date and time of  test.


Many thanks OhOh... food for thought...

An immediate question... I followed your link about Covid swab testing in London and it states an almost guaranteed 70 hour turn around time. The test and Fit to Fly cert have to be taken/issued 72 hours before departure. That seems very tight and I could see a scenario where you're waiting at the airport for the test results to come through by email... or am I missing something here?

The whole things seems very strange... I hear of full flights returning to Thailand and a huge backlog, yet a quick search on Skyscanner (for a month from now) shows loads of flights and not expensive either. That doesn't seem to add up.

But I'm not despairing quite so much now... so thanks for that... I'll enjoy my pint at The Red Lion tonight a bit more now! 

Hope your next eight days pass quickly for you.

----------


## OhOh

> I followed your link about Covid swab testing in  London and it states an almost guaranteed 70 hour turn around  time


You must check the Thai and Dubai virus requirements daily, as the EA site changed.

When I booked the test they were suggesting a 48 hour turnaround from test taking to test issue date. They suggested the test to be taken, at the pharmacy, 70 prior to flight departure. Two days before my test they suggested that the turnaround time had lengthened to 70 hours.

I moved my test by one day. After I took my test, it was then issued in* 48 hours* of being taken at the pharmacy, this meant I just squeezed in all definitions, EA @ LHR and DXB, and Thai immigration.

However, questions were raised at Heathrow but the flight supervisor at Heathrow, one of the 20% occupancy flights, decided to let me on the flight and they issued my boarding passes for LHR> DXB and DXB>BKK.

Thai immigration at BKK, all three checks, passed OK and I'm in.

Regarding testing times I suggest late afternoon. One can deliver the test to the test centre in London oneself. EA looks at the virus test* date and time* (when the test was taken, usually at a pharmacy). Thai IO's look at the date/time of flight departure. Not specifically from LHR, possibly from DXB.




> Skyscanner (for a month from now) shows loads of flights


Only book via the airline site. Most of the others will gladly take your money, but delivery/refund is another thing. The airlines, at least EA, offered free changes. But again the EA site sates all conditions and is pretty clear on their virus protection assistance.

I would suggest applying to the UK Embassy. All communication is via email. Sending your docs and receiving their COE and other paperwork in return, is via email.

Visit the UK for enough time to obtain a test and fly to Bangkok with EA via Dubai. The airline  posts it's requirements, at least EA does and checks them. Thailand posts it's requirements.

I would also take at least 4 sets of documents, in colour, when you travel. Each set clipped together separately. Efficient and impressive when handed over and stress relieving. The Thai medical set up at BKK although quick, does not always return all the docs you hand over to them. The immigration booths, where passports/visas and all entry docs are checked again, are manned and no queuing at all.

 :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Many thanks again OhOh... good advice and very much appreciated.

I hope Day 7 has been OK for you!

But all said and done... I've been doing some thinking and this is all pretty shit for me.

Approaching this from Sweden is a non starter, so I'll be heading back to the UK after this work stint. I could initiate the travel to Thailand from there, but I have to be realistic...

I'm not heading back to Thailand for an indefinite stay, my lifestyle depends on regular rotations... 4 week or 6 week usually. Even at the best case, if I arrived back before Christmas I'd still be looking at leaving again by Feb for work... that is just not sustainable. Maybe at a cost of 5k Sterling (which is hopeful maybe?) per trip back to Thailand and spending most of my time off in quarantine! Not to mention the reason I'm leaving in the first place is to make money, and then to spend that money to get home again is a nonsense! This Covid has started to make e rethink my entire life style and how feasible it is... what will the new normal be, or will it all be back to 'normal this time next year?

I take my hat off to yourself and Thai Dhupp for going through this entry palaver... but for me is it really realistic if I'm wanting to leave again 2 or 3 months later...?

I don't normally tend towards the depressive, but I've had a shite day at work today and finally realised that I'm working with a bunch of complete muppets. They got me here because of my experience with this contract, yet every time I suggest something to help, they say, 'but we do it like this...'. I've had that almost every day now since the end of July, and the only 2 days I didn't hear that I was almost killed by cows. The money's not great either.

But it's not all bad... I found another of Lom's entrances to the underground Gothenburg harbour defence systems yesterday...



And I've found a decent cider... yes it's Swedish and not like a proper Thatchers of course, but not bad for the continent...



But, to balance those positives, I decided to actually cook something tonight, and who can go wrong with a carbonara?

My bladdy saucepan is so small that the bottom of the spaghetti had gone soggy while the top was still dry.



So anyway, with the dawning that I'm not really gonna get back home until next year I'm trying to take the positives... the cons are obvious with my lovely young daughter on the opposite side of the world...

1) My mum is 84 and my sisters are pretty useless... so it will be a great opportunity to make up for lost time (for the first 3 days...  and she wants the loft clearing out)
2) It will probably be the last opportunity to see Bristol City playing in the Championship League seeing as they're a dead cert of the Premier next year.
3) If more work comes up this winter I can look as this as an opportunity... not a disaster If. I can't get home then maybe I should take the freedom to earn more money and stash some extra (there's always work about at Christmas). It's not a nice feeling now, but it'll be next summer soon enough...

So anyway, a morose feeling after 10 weeks of 12 hour shifts, a shite day at work and a shit meal. 

Did I mention the trainee's off home tomorrow as well.

----------


## baldrick

> yet every time I suggest something to help, they say, 'but we do it like this.


you just need to either shut up or accept their attitude - either way , just take the money

I have been very unimpressed at the last couple of sites I have been to - they all think they are worlds best practice - , but I am only there for the money , so I try to keep my mouth shut

----------


## Neverna

> My bladdy saucepan is so small that the bottom of the spaghetti had gone soggy while the top was still dry.


Mendip, here's a top tip from Nev the spaghetti chef: break the spaghetti in half before you put it in the pan.

----------


## naptownmike

Try to stay positive Mendip. Im sure its hard to be away from home. 
I havent done anything this year but work and sit at home. My only trips out are to walk the dog. 
On the upside were still making money and thats ok. This will be our first year not returning to Thailand in 15 years those trips are what usually gets me through early winter and working 60 days in a row. 
Lets hope next year will be different.

----------


## lom

> And I've found a decent cider... yes it's Swedish and not like a proper Thatchers of course, but not bad for the continent...


You also display a new winebox, Gato Negro, which is mentioned among the best 2020 red wine boxes and it got 3 + out of 5 in a test.

Gosa Monastrell  2019, SEK 219:-, got  4 +. "A popular wine that goes perfectly with hamburger or grilled meat."
Surely can be drank without condiments or with the whistling ones.
(I fried a couple of English breakfast sausages this morning and they whistled like a steam train without being ready inside..)

----------


## Edmond

> I could initiate the travel to Thailand from there, but I have to be realistic...
> 
> I'm not heading back to Thailand for an indefinite stay, my lifestyle depends on regular rotations... 4 week or 6 week usually. Even at the best case, if I arrived back before Christmas I'd still be looking at leaving again by Feb for work... that is just not sustainable. Maybe at a cost of 5k Sterling (which is hopeful maybe?) per trip back to Thailand and spending most of my time off in quarantine! Not to mention the reason I'm leaving in the first place is to make money, and then to spend that money to get home again is a nonsense! This Covid has started to make e rethink my entire life style and how feasible it is... what will the new normal be, or will it all be back to 'normal this time next year?
> 
> I take my hat off to yourself and Thai Dhupp for going through this entry palaver... but for me is it really realistic if I'm wanting to leave again 2 or 3 months later...?


Mendy, would you think of forgetting about Thailand for perhaps 5 years and look at getting the kid, wife and gardener back to the UK as a base for the next few years.

Over a few years it would probably cost the same as you getting in and out of Thailand twice a year. Would be great for the kid educationally and culturally, and would have you back easily between your working rotations.

----------


## Chittychangchang

Not a bad idea lu, but the gardener and wife....

----------


## OhOh

> They got me here because of my experience with  this contract, yet every time I suggest something to help, they say,  'but we do it like this.


To do a specific job, on a short term basis. You will have a useful alternate opinion but they have their plan. Why they choose to stick to it is above your level. They may discus your suggestions at other meetings. Do your normal best and there may be a second opportunity later to return with a wider scope of responsibility. Your suggestions may have been recently incorporated into their unpdated "we do it like this" manual.

As baldrick suggests accept your employers view and bank the wage.




> you just need to either shut up or accept their attitude - either way , just take the money


Look around at alternative roles. It's what short term contractors do every day, it's what you've been doing for a long time. I doubt it's the first time your valuable advice has been ignored.  :Smile:  

As for your next place of living. You, like I, have two families who love your visits. Both survive when you have been either working in xxx or living with the other family. With video, email, text ... and sending the unexpected parcel, it is far easier than in the past.

Take care and leave your current post with a good reputation. It's always best to have a string of contented former employers to offer as references.

----------


## Bogon

You're stuck between a rock and hard place Mendip.

Cannot suggest anything that has not been mentioned already apart from finding a 3rd country that you and the family like (and can both enter) and hanker down there for a year or so.

Good luck pal.

----------


## Shutree

> ... as they say the longest journey starts with the first step.


千里之行，始於足下 from the Daode Jing, attributed to Laozi. It has been around for about 2,600 years so it is probably useful advice. The original 千里之行 (1,000 li journey) would only have been about 350 modern miles, which is still a fair distance to walk and in those times could have been quite a dangerous undertaking. It is just one foot in front of the other and don't be dispirited if you occasionally hit a wall and have to back up a bit. You will get there, or here, eventually.
Everyone here is willing you on.

----------


## Mendip

> you just need to either shut up or accept their attitude - either way , just take the money


Yes... I need to learn this. I've always freelanced but usually at places I'm established and known... this is different. But all said and done, if they knew what they were doing I wouldn't have had 10 weeks work out of them so far, so I should shut up and be thankful...

Today it's headphones on and radio Bristol all day... and I'll keep quiet.




> Mendip, here's a top tip from Nev the spaghetti chef: break the spaghetti in half before you put it in the pan.


Is there no end to your wisdom Nev? I was going down the 'bigger pan' route as I threw that one in the bin last night... I was further pissed off when half of the spaghetti burnt to the bottom. I'll probably get it out of the bin tonight and wash it... it's probably lying in the wrong bin anyway... Sweden has a bewildering array of bins from which to choose.




> Let’s hope next year will be different.


Amen to that. I was just feeling sorry for myself last night... it's been way too much work in one sitting and is getting to me. A worse case of course would have been if this hadn't have come up. Then I'd be back in Korat with my daughter and dogs (and wife and gardener) but gradually running out of money. This is the better option of course.




> You also display a new winebox, Gato Negro, which is mentioned among the best 2020 red wine boxes and it got 3 + out of 5 in a test.
> 
> Gosa Monastrell  2019, SEK 219:-, got  4 +. "A popular wine that goes perfectly with hamburger or grilled meat."


Observant as always Lom. Well I can confirm that the Gato Negro went well with my 'carbonara' shall we call it. Next week a Gosa Monastrell it is then... good price as well. I hope that goes well with a whistling lasagne as they have become a staple of mine. I keep meaning to try the whistling chicken masala but they sprinkle sultanas on the rice and that ruins it for me.





> Mendy, would you think of forgetting about Thailand for perhaps 5 years and look at getting the kid, wife and gardener back to the UK as a base for the next few years.
> 
> Over a few years it would probably cost the same as you getting in and out of Thailand twice a year. Would be great for the kid educationally and culturally, and would have you back easily between your working rotations.


That has crossed my mind... a big upheaval that would make my life a lot easier. The wife would refuse outright I'm sure, and I'd have no way of looking after my daughter with working away so much. To carry it out would certainly force a few issues which are currently lying dormant, if you see what I mean.

But in all honesty, despite my criticism of Korat I do quite enjoy my secluded life style there during normal times. I find the balance of working away in the west about 5 months a year, regular days out in Bangkok and then quiet family time in Korat suits me quite well... and while it ain't cheap to live in Thailand as most know, the thought of getting back in to the UK tax system is most unappealing... the tax would far outweigh the savings I would make by having education and health laid on by the state.




> Not a bad idea lu, but the gardener and wife....


The gardener would stay to take care of my dogs... aah, the wife can stay as well!

By the way, what are you doing for Christmas lunch Chitty?




> I doubt it's the first time your valuable advice has been ignored.  
> 
> Take care and leave your current post with a good reputation. It's always best to have a string of contented former employers to offer as references.


It's most certainly not! The wife ignores me consistently!

Leaving with a good reputation is utmost as despite being pissed off with it now, I'll be OK a week or two after leaving and I may well be glad of this lot again next year. The Swedes are much happier to fly people across borders than the Norwegians are during Covid times.

It does seem to be one thing after another in the oil industry. I'd just got through the 2015 downturn when the West African work died a death,  returned to working in Norway, got the day rate built up and the tax sorted, and then bladdy Covid has set it back again. But... I know I should be grateful to be earning anything just now.




> Cannot suggest anything that has not been mentioned already apart from finding a 3rd country that you and the family like (and can both enter) and hanker down there for a year or so.
> 
> Good luck pal.


Thanks Bogon.

Yes... lots of things are going through my mind... but all said and done if I do end up away from home for six months or so it's not a great deal in the scheme of things. And maybe staying with my mum for a month or two over the winter is the right thing to do. I know that she's been suffering from loneliness with this lock down and isolation this year. 

I was just feeling sorry for myself last night... I'm still feeling sorry for meself but with a stonking headache this morning to take my mind off other things. I shouldn't have mixed that Gato Negro with cider and Aberlour.

----------


## Mendip

> Everyone here is willing you on.


I see that... and it does help very much.

Thanks to everyone!

And there's still a small bottle of Chang with your name on when I do eventually return for a drink in Bangkok. 

Maybe some others will join us?

----------


## bsnub

> I was going down the 'bigger pan' route as I threw that one in the bin last night.


That is the real solution. One should never break the spaghetti in half. A proper pasta pot will do the trick.

----------


## cyrille

^The sentiments of someone who's never cooked away from home for a time.  :Very Happy:

----------


## baldrick

> if they knew what they were doing I wouldn't have had 10 weeks work out of them so far, so I should shut up and be thankful...


yes - I had a boss who would tell me all the time - " if they knew what they were doing , we wouldn't have a job "

----------


## Chittychangchang

> shouldn't have mixed that Gato Negro with cider and Aberlour.


Try Speckled Hen and Chardonnay , I feel your pain.

Xmas dinner??

I dont think further than next week at the moment,  having said that, you're more than welcome at Chez Chitty if you're in the vicinity.

----------


## Mendip

^ Great, I'm assuming it's BYO? And that's food, not alcohol!  :Smile: 


I had a much better day today... was even asked a few questions and my opinion on a few things... which totally ruined my concentration on the Radio Bristol morning phone-in.

I've accepted I won't be getting back any time soon, and so to get down and earn all I can while being trapped away from home. Hopefully between work (if more comes up) I'll be spending some much overdue time with me mum, and so long as she lays off me weight and alcohol intake we should get long fine! I'll also catch up with a couple of old mates... it'll be weird without my daughter tagging along but that's just how it is... I may as well make the most of it. 

With my new found optimism I almost feel guilty for calling these guys at work 'muppets', which wasn't probably fair, although these Swedes are a strange lot... (sorry Lom) ... but are of course very nice people.

Today I was telling this girl in the office my evening routine... I get back to my bedsit around 6pm... kick off me shoes and jeans, swap my summer short sleeve shirt for a comfy old T-shirt, pour a big slug of whisky and then close my weary eyes and sit back in my chair feeling it burn all the way down, all the while thinking I'm one day closer... but quite to what I don't know these days.

She found it bizarre that I would get back at six, be half pissed by seven and in bed by eight... she said stuff like, 'why don't you go for a walk, go cycling, or (get this...) hire a scooter and go around town'! Go figure... 

To be fair though she doesn't work 11 hour days 7 days a week... a contractor's life is very different.

Damn pretty she is too... whatever made you leave Sweden Lom?

----------


## Chittychangchang

> Great, I'm assuming it's BYO? And that's food, not alcohol!


No cider here and Brussel sprouts frozen pizza is the main.

----------


## Happy As Larry

> Always a good for seeing things from a different perspective. 
> You could always fly back to Blighty then do the repatriation waiting there.
> Cheaper and more chances of a sooner flight.
> Don't reckon there will be a second full lockdown here,  just continuing restrictions .


While there might be more repatriation flights out of the UK there are also more people wanting to be on one.
Unless the Thai embassy has chnaged its system over the last few weeks they were not creating a waiting list of those wanting a flight.
You had to wait until the flights were announced and then go for it.
To my knowledge they have been 3 repatriation flights out of London each month. They have been booked up very quickly.
As with most locations Thais get first priority. business class is the usual option for non-Thais.

It might be a good idea to check with the UK Embassy by mail/phone before heading back to the UK to see what their process is. I believe that each embassy has its own wrinkles added to the basic concept

----------


## Happy As Larry

^
Further to the above post. The following has been announced by THAI. While these flights are for departure from Bangkok I am pretty certain that they they will form the repatriation flights to Bangkok from the listed destinations during October

BANGKOK, 1 October 2020: Thai Airways International will operate 15 flights to five destinations this October mainly to accommodate Thais requiring repatriation.
The 15 flights will cover five destinations; *London*,* Copenhagen*, *Stockholm*, *Taipe*i and* Hong Kong*,
THAI executive vice president, commercial, Wiwat Piyawiroj, said these flights would be operated for European, Hong Kong, and Taipei expatriates and those passengers, travelling for education, business, or repatriation.
*Flight details*
Flight TG916 Bangkok-London on 4, 11, and 18 October 2020 will depart from Bangkok at 1250 and arrive in London at 1910  (local time). A flight on 25 October 2020 will depart from Bangkok at 1320 and arrive in London at 1935 (local time).
Flight TG950 Bangkok-Copenhagen on 4, 11, 18 October 2020 will depart from Bangkok at 0650 and arrive in Copenhagen at 1305 (local time). Another flight is scheduled for 25 October 2020 departing from Bangkok at 0650  and arriving in Copenhagen at 1235 hours (local time)
Flight TG960 Bangkok-Stockholm on 14 October 2020 will depart from Bangkok at 0705 and arrive in Stockholm at 1310 hours (local time).
Flight TG638 Bangkok-Hong Kong on 21 October 2020 will depart from Bangkok at 1355 hours and arrive in Hong Kong at 1740 hours (local time), and on 28 October 2020 will depart from Bangkok at 1400 and arrive in Hong Kong at 1745 (local time)
Flight TG 632 Bangkok-Taipei on 8, 16, 23 October 2020 will depart from Bangkok at 0825  and arrive in Taipei at 1305 (local time), and on 30 October 2020 will depart from Bangkok at 0815 hours and Taipei at 1245 hours (local time)
On these routes, THAI sells only one-way tickets. Passengers can use existing tickets and ROP award tickets on these special flights, but terms and conditions apply. Reservations can be made at _https://www.thaiairways.com/th_TH/bo...l_flights.page_, THAI Sales Offices, and THAI Contact Center at tel 0-2356-1111 from 0800-2000.

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## lom

> Damn pretty she is too... whatever made you leave Sweden Lom?


The Thai temples Mendip, the temples.

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## katie23

^lol. I'm sure the temples must have been very enlightening.  :Very Happy: 

@mendip - hang in there & good luck in your future plans. Request: can you get a can of surstromming & sample it? Do it with the windows open, though. Cheers!

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## Shutree

> she said stuff like, 'why don't you go for a walk, go cycling, or (get this...) hire a scooter and go around town'!
> 
> 
> Damn pretty she is too...


Sounds like you're knocking on an open door there, Mr. Mendip.
I trust you told her that her suggestion was excellent and you'd love to go with someone to show you around, especially some small restaurants because these Swedish menus are too difficult for me alone and I don't really know what local dishes are good.
You could be enjoying the sights and probably enjoying some dinner _à deux_. Always good to have a little distaff company.

----------


## OhOh

> While there might be more repatriation flights out of the UK there are also more people wanting to be on one.
> Unless the Thai embassy has chnaged its system over the last few weeks they were not creating a waiting list of those wanting a flight.


Here is a list of airlines with permission to fly entitled people back to Thailand. Issued by the Thai Embassy Bern Switzerland. One suspects the same airlines can collect qualified passengers in the UK.

The ME airlines will be more complicated due to the transit countries own required virus test paperwork, the European airlines are presumably non-stop.

*รายชื่อสายการบินกึ่งพาณิชย์นำผู้ที่ได้รับอนุญ  าต เดินทางเข้าประเทศไทย*

********************* 

*List of semi-commercial flights transporting entitled passengers entering Thailand*

 Emirates (DBX-BKK: starts from 1 September 2020) 

 Etihad (AUH-BKK: starts from 5 October 2020)

 Qatar (DOH-BKK: starts from 1 October 2020) 

 Austrian Airlines (VIE-BKK: starts from 15 October 2020) 

 SWISS (ZRH-BKK: starts from 15 October 2020)

 Lufthansa (FRA-BKK: starts from 15 October 2020) 

 KLM (AMS-BKK: start date to be confirmed) 

 Air France (CDG-BKK: start date to be confirmed) 

 THAI Airways (routes and start date to be confirmed) 

 Singapore Airlines (SIN-BKK: starts from 16 October 2020) 

 EVA Air (TPE-BKK: starts from 25 October 2020) 

 Cathay Pacific (HKG-BKK: starts from 7 October 2020) 

As of 5 OCT 2020

https://thaiembassy.ch/files_upload/editor_upload/VISA/1601929591_5-oct-2020list-semi-commercial-flights.pdf


If one can survive the quarantine in Thailand.

----------


## OhOh

> Always good to have a little distaff company.


Her relationship with the company management may be worth clarification. Not to allow any black marks being added on his personal file. The country lasses in the UK would be less risky.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Sounds like you're knocking on an open door there, Mr. Mendip.
> I trust you told her that her suggestion was excellent and you'd love to go with someone to show you around, especially some small restaurants because these Swedish menus are too difficult for me alone and I don't really know what local dishes are good.
> You could be enjoying the sights and probably enjoying some dinner _à deux_. Always good to have a little distaff company.


Exactly, how much more obvious does she have to be?

----------


## Mendip

^ Maybe I've been a bit slow here?

One thing I have noticed here is that even the older girls who have caught my attention... are still at least 20 years younger than I. This particular girl is nearer 30 years younger... 

I though these countries had this thing called 'age appropriateness'?

And everyone is friendly in Sweden... they just seem like nice people. In fact, if it wasn't for the climate, the expense and the food I could quite happily stay here. Obviously it's no good if 'Temples' is your main interest.

I don't want to get the wrong reputation in this office just because some innocent girl suggested that I take a walk in the evening instead of enjoying a hit of malt. (but I will keep an open mind)

But anyway, yesterday I found a way to relieve myself of a different source of stress that's been effecting me for the last two weeks.

Every day, morning and evening, when I've had my shower the bladdy shower head has kept slipping down the railing.

As HW would say, yesterday 'I did something about it' and had my first two-handed shower in a fortnight.

----------


## Mendip

> @mendip - hang in there & good luck in your future plans. Request: can you get a can of surstromming & sample it? Do it with the windows open, though. Cheers!


I'll check it out Katie... but if it makes me ill I won't be happy!

Hopefully you can get it in a normal supermarket and I won't have to go to some specialist shop for stinking rotten fish? 

Lom?

----------


## Headworx

This office bird Mendip, I'd ask her if she wants to come over to your room after work for coffee and a knee-trembler in the shower. If she looks horrified, tell her you've got tea bags as well. 

Follow me for more relationship advice @ knee-tremblers.com

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## baldrick

> 'I did something about it'


not using string with your chewing gum means you have not got modern worlds best maintenance practices in use

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## OhOh

I hope you've left an invoice for the shower maintenance.

----------


## Mendip

The shower was fixed with a waterproof plaster wrapped around the railing, not chewing gum, which would have been a complete bodge.

And there will be no invoice... it's all part of the service. To be honest it was nice to see I hadn't lost my touch because the gardener sorts out that kind of thing at home.


I didn't follow your advice today Headworx... my Swedish ain't good enough for technical stuff

I'm thinking of going with _knäskakare_... 

Lom, is that the correct term for a _knee trembler_? I don't want to get it wrong and make a fool of myself in front of everyone in the office.

But to be honest I'm really not sure the whole thing is a good idea... the walls are paper thin in this pace.


Katie, I located your _surstömming_ today... but only in huge tins. I don't really want to spend 10 quid on a dirty great load of rotten fish... I was hoping to find a fun-size tin.

But, I promise I'll try some before this trip is finished... probably...

----------


## katie23

^aww. Sorry to hear that there are no small tins of surstromming. Thanks for the effort. Happy weekend!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Katie, I located your _surstömming_ today... but only in huge tins. I don't really want to spend 10 quid on a dirty great load of rotten fish... I was hoping to find a fun-size tin.
> 
> But, I promise I'll try some before this trip is finished... probably...


Tin too big? 

I thought you were from South West England, not a Norvener.

----------


## lom

> I'm thinking of going with _knäskakare_...
> 
> Lom, is that the correct term for a knee trembler? I don't want to get it wrong and make a fool of myself in front of everyone in the office.


It is the direct translation but in Sweden girls become knee weak (knäsvag) and when their knees gets weak enough then they fell for you.

----------


## lom

> Katie, I located your surstömming today... but only in huge tins. I don't really want to spend 10 quid on a dirty great load of rotten fish... I was hoping to find a fun-size tin.


Don't do it, it is unlikely that you will appreciate surströmming. 
You are a Briton and already have problems with Scandinavian food so you'd better stick to the whistling ready-made meals until you get back home to peas and pies, surströmming is not for everyone!

Today is Saturday, no school day for my grand childs so I will bring them and their father to Tony's Bamboo Cafe in Hua Thanon so that they can learn what a Big Boys English Breakfast is.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Don't do it,





> you'd better stick to





> You are a Briton and


That sounds like a challenge, Mendip!

----------


## lom

> Today is Saturday, no school day for my grand childs so I will bring them and their father to Tony's Bamboo Cafe in Hua Thanon so that they can learn what a Big Boys English Breakfast is.


and lovely it was. 
Brought home some of his homemade pies and homemade English breakfast and Lincolnshire sausages.

----------


## ootai

> Today is Saturday, no school day for my grand childs so I will bring them and their father to Tony's Bamboo Cafe in Hua Thanon so that they can learn what a Big Boys English Breakfast is.


Lom
Where is this "Hua Thanon" you speak of?  I live in Hua Thanon in Buriram and there is no café serving English breakfast's here or I would be a regular.
Love my breakfasts its probably the only meal when I never eat Thai food i.e. rice and chilli?

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## lom

^
It is here, look at those lovely pictures:
Google Maps

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## Mendip

> It is the direct translation but in Sweden girls become knee weak (knäsvag) and when their knees gets weak enough then they fell for you.


This girl doesn't seem to be 'knee weak' for me... in fact she's been giving me some strange looks. 

I think it'll be safer not to try out my new Swedish phrases on her.




> Don't do it, it is unlikely that you will appreciate surströmming. 
> You are a Briton and already have problems with Scandinavian food so you'd better stick to the whistling ready-made meals until you get back home to peas and pies, surströmming is not for everyone!
> 
> Today is Saturday, no school day for my grand childs so I will bring them and their father to Tony's Bamboo Cafe in Hua Thanon so that they can learn what a Big Boys English Breakfast is.





> and lovely it was. 
> Brought home some of his homemade pies and homemade English breakfast and Lincolnshire sausages.


There's something very unfair in life when I'm a Briton yet stuck in Gothenburg and considering eating some rotten stinking fish in a can, and you're a 'Goth' and eating superb British food in Koh Samui. I was obviously bad in a previous carnation.

Last night I had a whistling Swedish meatballs and potatoes in gravy as they've run out of whistling lasagnes. It was awful.





> That sounds like a challenge, Mendip!


Not really... I've heard rumours about this stuff. But, in the interests of research I will try some if I can find a small tin somewhere.

Just the fact that this is tinned food yet has to be kept in a fridge is warning enough.

----------


## Mendip

Despite the food and long work hours I am enjoying Sweden. It's got a nice feel to it and I think I prefer it to Norway.

Things are going well with the work and I may end up hanging my hat with these guys for a while... just need to persuade them to pay Norwegian rates.

Last night I wandered up to the Systembolaget for my weekly box of wine and saw this guy fly fishing.

Lom... my experience of the Baltic Sea (from working on the Nordstream pipeline) was that it's pretty polluted and void of fish... I'm guessing as this guy was fly fishing, he'd be after salmon or sea trout... are there really such fish around so close to Gothenburg or was he maybe just bored? Admittedly I didn't see him catch anything.



On my way back with the wine I came across this... a clutch of these scooters that had been dumped on the side of the road. With an app on your phone you could just log in, unlock and jump on one of these death traps. While it's not for me, I love that it's possible... in the UK these would just be stolen or vandalised and ruined immediately. I just can't see this system possible in the UK.



And I saw some more street art for Chitty.

It looks a bit 'lesbianish' but I also thought that maybe it's some kind of a naughty massage place... ya know what these Scandinavians are like... I think I'll take a look one evening.

----------


## Mendip

I started the day a bit pissed of today... another early start on a Saturday... and my bladdy shower head is slipping down the railing again. The plaster wasn't as waterproof as the label suggested and I was thinking of maybe trying Baldrick's string and chewing gum solution.

Later I called my lovely young daughter on Skype and the topic of Christmas came up... every year we go to the UK to stay with my mum for three weeks and it's the highlight of my daughter's year.

I had to tell her it was looking pretty unlikely this year (I didn't want to give her an outright negative) and that I was having problems even getting home myself after this work is finished. She was obviously disappointed and asked what would happen if I could never get home again. That did nothing to cheer me up.

So... I decided to 'do something about it'...

A few weeks ago while I was on the Havila Subsea the bracelet on my old watch broke. I bought this watch in 1992 as a present to meself after one of my first successful, long offshore projects. It was second hand in 1992, I think it dates back to 1984.



The bracelet has worn through... and after some investigation the robbing Swiss b@stards want a stunning £1500 to replace the bracelet. Obviously not an option, and this has been bugging me for a while.



But yesterday I was told I'd have maybe another three weeks or so work here... and I've decided to treat myself to a replacement watch. It can't be all about providing for the family and feeding Isaan's soi dog population. A mate in the UK is on to it, and now that I've made the decision it has cheered me up no end, and given me something to look forward to once I get finished up here. And one more decent watch should see me through for the duration if it lasts as long as the last one...

And... it just gets better and better...

I came across this in the office today... a limitless supply of shower head repair kits!

----------


## Headworx

Mendip it's a pity you bought an Air King instead of something like a Sub, Explorer, or Sea Dweller all those years ago as Air Kings are one of the least desired of vintage Rolex models. Even beaten up like that though, its still worth probably 2 to 2.5k USD (where as sports watches from Rolex of that age can be 10k++ but obviously nobody saw that coming back then)

And just to add, I'm not sure of price but those old Oyster bracelets can be refurbished. There was a guy in Hong Kong doing them a few years ago, Michael someone...

----------


## lom

> Lom... my experience of the Baltic Sea (from  working on the Nordstream pipeline) was that it's pretty polluted and  void of fish...


Not void of fish in the upper part where many rivers from northern Sweden has their outlets of freshwater and where there is not much farming so less fertilizer run-off pollution than in the south.
 Here you find big salmons and the Baltic herring (strömming) which prosper in the brackish water. 




> I'm guessing as this guy was fly fishing, he'd be after salmon or sea trout... are there really such fish around so close to Gothenburg or was he maybe just bored?


There are both salmon and sea trout in the Gothenburg harbor so it could be either of them.

----------


## Mendip

^^ HW... story of my life, I've never been very good at spotting an investment.

What I liked about the Airking Date was that it isn't at all gaudy and most people don't realise it is a Rolex. 

It's served me well but always kept awful time...  now I'm thinking of upgrading to a chromometer. A DateJust maybe.

Many years ago I was badly bitten by a dog and one of its canine teeth went straight through the glass and buckled the face of that Airking... that watch saved me from a very deep bite on my wrist. And yet I still keep messing with dogs.

The 1500 quid quote was £1000 for a new bracelet but Rolex insisted on doing a service first, which is another £500... plus all that would need doing.

For now I'm thinking of hanging on to it for messing around outside and maybe getting a leather strap?

----------


## Headworx

^The leather strap idea is a good one, or a NATO band would work perfectly as well. If it's not keeping decent time of +/- 5 seconds a day - which is normal for Swiss automatic movements - I'd have it serviced. There's a Rolex shop that can do that on Wireless Rd near the Conrad, there's other places too but I stay in that area when in Bangkok ( :Naughty: ) and the cost of servicing a Submariner was something like 13.5k Baht last time I had one done about 3 years ago.

----------


## Klondyke

> https://teakdoor.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=58608&d=1602321835[/IMG]


You can get it exchanged in Thailand on the road (once you are back) for few hundred Baht, no breakage over 10 years...

----------


## Mendip

^ Aah, but it just wouldn't be the same Klondyke!

I used to get regular requests from colleagues for fake Rolexes from Thailand, and I tried to explain that there are good fakes and bad fakes.

One Canadian, being a cheapskate, wanted a bad fake. I found one for him but the actual number bars were falling off the face by the time I'd got it back to the boat for him!

----------


## Saint Willy

> You can get it exchanged in Thailand on the road (once you are back) for few hundred Baht, no breakage over 10 years...


for a shite bracelet, no thanks.

----------


## Mendip

> You also display a new winebox, Gato Negro, which is mentioned among the best 2020 red wine boxes and it got 3 + out of 5 in a test.
> 
> Gosa Monastrell  2019, SEK 219:-, got  4 +. "A popular wine that goes perfectly with hamburger or grilled meat."


It goes pretty well with cold chicken as well Lom... I hope you realise how much I respect your opinion!

Although to be honest I think the Gato Negro was better...



I'm a bit worried about what's happening to me... I've even started watching 'The Bridge' on Netfilx and am thoroughly enjoying it.

----------


## Klondyke

> there are good fakes and bad fakes.


And have you ever tried the goof fakes?

----------


## Klondyke

> for a shite bracelet, no thanks.


I assume you like to show off your Rolex when in a local restaurant with your Chivas Regal 12 years filled in with Mekhong...

----------


## aging one

Santa Barbara Ca. has both the electric scooters and electric bikes. The bikes are much cooler and you can get all over town in just a few minutes. One of these would make you very mobile in Gothenburg.  Same deal just drop them anywhere when you are done.

----------


## Shutree

> You can get it exchanged in Thailand on the road (once you are back) for few hundred Baht, no breakage over 10 years...


Whoa! Don't exchange the old strap, there is a good market for all things original Rolex.

It looks like just a few pins that join the links need tapping out and replacing. In Thailand many of the small watch repair stalls can do it for about B50 per pin. Just stand over them and make sure you end up with the same number of links as you started with, even individual links have a market.
Of course if you want to change the strap then go ahead and be sure to keep the original.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I assume you like to show off your Rolex when in a local restaurant with your Chivas Regal 12 years filled in with Mekhong...


You assume incorrectly.

----------


## Mendip

> Whoa! Don't exchange the old strap, there is a good market for all things original Rolex.
> It looks like just a few pins that join the links need tapping out and replacing.


Sadly if you look at the second pic closely the pin is in place but the actual link has worn through... and there are a few more on their way.

I guess 30 years of my wrist movements... plus whatever went before... has taken it's toll.

Cue the gardener joke...

----------


## happynz

> the robbing Swiss b@stards want a stunning £1500 to replace the bracelet.


Save yer cash and get a Seiko SARB 065 (known as the Cocktail Time), and put it on a Milanese mesh bracelet. Then invest in a lotto ticket and use your winnings to get a Rolex.

----------


## Mendip

> Santa Barbara Ca. has both the electric scooters and electric bikes. The bikes are much cooler and you can get all over town in just a few minutes. One of these would make you very mobile in Gothenburg.  Same deal just drop them anywhere when you are done.


AO, you are very correct but it's just not for me. I quite like walking anyway.

The system seems great however and once you've downloaded the app you can find the closest scooter by GPS, jump on it, and just dump it when you reach your destination. It costs pennies as well.

I really don't know what's gone wrong in the UK... this just wouldn't work. I guess for one there would be no 4G coverage, but the scooters would be stolen, or if that wasn't possible just vandalised and dumped in the nearest canal to join the shopping trolleys. Especially up north!

I think they tried a similar system with bicycles, in Leicester was it? Had to give up because the system was so abused.

----------


## Mendip

^^

Happy... I don't have a good track record with lotto tickets...

To be honest that Seiko is a bit 'dressy' for me.

This is the one I've got my eye on... or very similar.

----------


## Shutree

> Sadly if you look at the second pic closely the pin is in place but the actual link has worn through... and there are a few more on their way.
> 
> I guess 30 years of my wrist movements... plus whatever went before... has taken it's toll.
> 
> Cue the gardener joke...


On my phone today, small pics and I didn't notice until you pointed that out. Never seen that before. I have had mine 40 years and wore it every day until I put it back in its box a couple of years ago. I never noticed that kind of wear. Maybe you got some abrasive material in the links?

----------


## Mendip

Shutree, it's a mystery. The pins will be genuine so I don't see why they should be particularly abrasive. The watch has been through the wars and I haven't taken particularly good care of it, but even so... it will now be retired with a leather strap for day to day stuff... dog walking and mild garden projects. 

My mind is now pretty well made up... unless there is a sudden and significant change of entry requirements to enter Thailand, I think I'll be overwintering in the UK... unless of course I can pick up some more work during the low season in Europe.

At the moment I'm lucky enough to be doing a project that requires very little interaction with other people, so it's uninterrupted headphones on to Radio Bristol for most of the day. Yesterday the topic was loneliness, the discussion brought on by the surge in mental health cases the UK has experienced during the Covid lockdown. It got me thinking about my mum... my dad passed just a few years ago and she is now living quite an isolated life... her social life has been curtailed and my sisters don't visit very often at all. I am sure the right thing to do is stay with my mum for a while this winter... especially over the 'festive' season by which time it looks as though the UK may be in full blown lockdown again. I'll miss my daughter terribly of course, and vice versa I think... but she's doing OK so far and will bounce back fast. 

I've already promised her a UK summer holiday next year, hopefully including regular short Easyjet trips around Europe... with Greece a must after reading Lostandfound's thread. All Covid permitting, of course...

Anyway... I figured that I deserve a present... I rarely buy meself anything these days, and besides I'll be saving a small fortune by not travelling back to Thailand at the moment.

 A very good friend of mine in the UK with contacts in the jewelry business sent me this pic yesterday...



What clinched it... you see the date my old Airking stopped ticking after I took it off when the bracelet broke back in August? (#741)

You see the date on the example Rolex I took from the net? (#758)

And you see the date shown by this watch my mate found in the UK...

I don't normally believe in stuff like that, but freaky hey... it must be fate!

If anyone's buying a lotto ticket this week, make sure it has '16' in it!

----------


## Saint Willy

It does sound like a plan and you dear old mom will appreciate it

----------


## lom

> If anyone's buying a lotto ticket this week, make sure it has '16' in it!


I did, I hope it will be better than the ticket pair my missus bought last month.

----------


## Mendip

> It does sound like a plan and you dear old mom will appreciate it


Yeah... I think so. It's kind of taken the pressure off now I've decided that.

And of course freed up some money to put to a different use.

----------


## lom

> And of course freed up some money to put to a different use.


I can suggest you another brand of red wine in box if you want..

----------


## Mendip

> I did, I hope it will be better than the ticket pair my missus bought last month.


Good luck Lom... my missus has done the same. I said to her to get a ticket with '16' in it... and she says she doesn't usually do the lotto.   Yeah... right!

An old friend from Norway arrived yesterday and he was supposed to be bringing me a bottle of malt... He waited until CPH because it's cheaper there but the duty free was closed down at the airport. This Covid is really starting to piss me off now.

Anyway, I took him for a walk along the front after work last night.

A fine old building.



And another lovely old church... every building seems to be built around these solid outcrops of gneiss.



And another... me mate reckons I'll be seeing the inside of this place before the project is finished up... we shall see.



I'm wondering if these buildings are what they call 'Gothic' style... and if this comes from 'Gothenburg'?

And some of the local wildlife.



But find of the day... which has definitely made it into my Swedish top 5...

'Apelsin' is orange, and these are just like Terry's Chocolate Orange, but maybe a bit tangier and even better!



The weather has definitely taken a wintery turn and it was 3 degrees walking in to work today... in my short sleeved summer shirt. 

I came over in July and as usual didn't really pack for the winter.

----------


## Mendip

> I can suggest you another brand of red wine in box if you want..


That would be great Lom... but I'm good for this week so no rush!

----------


## lom

^ I guess that is a no then..

----------


## Mendip

^ Well... more of a yes really. 

I usually do the wine box run on a Monday... 

That Gosa Monastrell is very nice, by the way!

----------


## lom

> I'm wondering if these buildings are what they call 'Gothic' style... and if this comes from 'Gothenburg'?


The style is gothic but I don't think it got its name from Goteborg.



I wouldn't mind having this old lighthouse as my apartment, imagine what a view of the harbour entrance you get there..

----------


## lom

> That Gosa Monastrell is very nice, by the way!


It got better with time, eh?  :Smile: 
You've already got two to choose between so I won't suggest another one, not changing a winning horse and all that..

----------


## lom

Here is a picture of the area from 1901 when the sugar mill and the porter brewery was running.
The area got its name Klippan (The Cliff) from the cliff which the top sugar factory (with the turret light house) is built upon.


(The whole Klippan area is today cultural heritage marked)

----------


## lom

> And another lovely old church... every building seems to be built around these solid outcrops of gneiss.


"St. Birgitta's chapel, which is located on a small mountain ridge in the middle of the former Carnegie mill area, was built in 1856–57. It was designed by the architect A W Edelsvärd and the model was a chapel that David Carnegie had previously built at home in Scotland. The chapel is characterized by the neo-Gothic style and has relatively large pointed arched windows. The roof is covered with slate and the facade is made of red brick with details of yellow brick. The west gable is emphasized by a small slender bell tower and a rosette window."

----------


## Saint Willy

^ It's a dead ringer for the Catholic Church in Australia that I used to attend when I was growing up...

----------


## Mendip

> The style is gothic but I don't think it got its name from Goteborg.


Yeah... point taken. I keep forgetting about the weird spelling you guys use for everything over here.





> I wouldn't mind having this old lighthouse as my apartment, imagine what a view of the harbour entrance you get there..


Not much of a view at all Lom... the windows seem to be painted over?


Anyway, I had a good day in the office today so rewarded meself with something else from my Swedish top 5... (after a bad day I cheer myself up with exactly the same!)

Not bad all... would prefer it dryer and cloudier, but apart from that very OK. The price of cider and wine seems to be about half that of Norway as well. I could get used to this.



Well, the way things are with Covid I'm gonna have to get used to it anyway.

----------


## lom

> Well, the way things are with Covid I'm gonna have to get used to it anyway.


That's the spirit! Have you now got another month out of them?

----------


## Shutree

> My mind is now pretty well made up... unless there is a sudden and significant change of entry requirements to enter Thailand, I think I'll be overwintering in the UK... unless of course I can pick up some more work during the low season in Europe. 
> 
> Anyway... I figured that I deserve a present... I rarely buy meself anything these days, and besides I'll be saving a small fortune by not travelling back to Thailand at the moment.
> 
>  A very good friend of mine in the UK with contacts in the jewelry business sent me this pic yesterday...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If anyone's buying a lotto ticket this week, make sure it has '16' in it!


I'm sure your mum will be delighted to have you for company over Christmas.

The two-tone Datejust is a classic.

I'll be sure to buy xxxx16 this time around.

----------


## Mendip

^ Good luck Shutree!

I wish I'd kept me mouth shut... I'll be well pissed off when my wife wins with her number 16 and we have to share the winnings with you and Lom. (that's assuming the wife even tells me. of course).





> That's the spirit! Have you now got another month out of them?


Yes Lom... well at least another three weeks anyway. I should end up with around 100 days when this gets finished up, which has turned this year around completely. I have to remember that much as I miss my little girl and the dogs, I'd be in a much worse position if I was still back in Isaan dressing up Dan and Coco in the wife's underwear.

In fact they these guys picked up more work in Norway... I can't go offshore as I'm still doing this in the office, but that work may come my way eventually for reporting. It'd be great if I can keep going through November... sanity allowing.

I may end up hanging me hat with these guys for a while. These contractors are very keen to break into the Norwegian market... and they need experience. Also, the Swedes have a very different attitude to Covid than Norway which makes it a lot easier for me... Norwegian contractors are trying to use local labour to avoid quarantine complications. There's other 'industry' reasons as well, all of which are conspiring to make Norwegian work hard to come by for me just now... 

And much as I hate to admit it... I quite like Sweden and the Swedes!

But anyway, if I do stay a while longer I'm hoping not to get another bread roll like this one...

 This is what I found when making my lunch this morning... never seen a hole that size before.

----------


## PAG

[QUOTE=Shutree;4173165]

The two-tone Datejust is a classic.

/QUOTE]

Seeing that photo reminded me to check my desk drawer for mine.   Bought it in 1986 so I guess bordering on the 'vintage' category now.   Probably a year or so since I've worn it, but the beauty is it only ever needs a few shakes and adjusting the time/date and away she goes.   Never been serviced, probably gains a minute every few days, which its always done.

----------


## lom

> This is what I found when making my lunch this morning... never seen a hole that size before.


It is there to hold the meatball in place  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ Very nice!

This one I've just got hold of is 1975, and in very good condition.

If it lasts as long as my Airking then it should be the last watch I'll need! 

The Airking Date is apparently similar age (I thought it was early 80s). I bought it second hand in 1993 and it's now worth a lot more than I paid for it, so not really an extravagance. The Airking is still good and I'm going to try and get a leather strap for it this weekend. One day I'd like to pass it on to my daughter... it's small enough to be a lady's watch.

----------


## Headworx

Mendip that Datejust looks ok but I'd be getting a photo sent of it side-on to check the bracket stretch like this: 


That's an Oyster bracket that's been well and truly abused for a lot of years, many hundreds of rounds of golf and uncountable thousands of balls hit at driving ranges wearing it just for starters. I'd rate the stretch as medium-bad for a watch of that age. The watch you're looking at has a Jubilee bracelet which are nowhere near as rugged and cost about the same to replace. Id be looking at how much sag is in it when held at the same angle before pulling the trigger, if it's drooping badly you might like to think twice or know that a replacement band could be in its future.

----------


## Mendip

> ^The leather strap idea is a good one, or a NATO band would work perfectly as well. If it's not keeping decent time of +/- 5 seconds a day - which is normal for Swiss automatic movements - I'd have it serviced. There's a Rolex shop that can do that on Wireless Rd near the Conrad, there's other places too but I stay in that area when in Bangkok () and the cost of servicing a Submariner was something like 13.5k Baht last time I had one done about 3 years ago.


HW, my Airking hasn't kept good time for years... I think towards the end it was gaining around a minute a week. I noticed that it gained more time at home in Isaan than when working in the cold of Norway. I had idly thought about logging the time gained and making a graph... but of course never bothered.

I once had it serviced at the place on Wireless Road a few years ago and seem to remember it wasn't cheap at all... and after that service was when the time started gaining. At this place in the UK where I've just got my DateJust from, the main man will wear a watch for a few days and make adjustments if necessary to improve the time keeping, but these watches will run slightly differently depending on the wearer.

Yeah... I 'pulled the trigger'... a bit impetuous maybe but I wanted a treat! I trust my mate and the jeweler to have made the necessary tests.

I think the stretch on my Airking bracelet beats your 'medium-bad'!



I certainly haven't mollycoddled the watch and rarely took it off... only if I remembered to during building projects and the like. I guess my 27 years and whatever went before have taken their toll. I hope to look after the DateJust a bit better.

The Airking's strap finally broke during one of my walks around the Havila Subsea helideck back in August... a link broke and the watch hit the deck. Lucky I wasn't swinging my arms too much as we were working in 300m of water back then!

After your post I had a good look at the bracelet, and there are several links almost worn through. But I guess it's had a hard 50 plus years of wear. I think it dates back to the mid 70s.

----------


## Headworx

^Yeah that's pretty much as bad as stretch can possibly get  :Smile:  

One of the reasons NATO straps are so popular with guys who spend time in places with their watches in places where if the band breaks they'll never see it again is there's no links to break, and if one spring-bar breaks the watch head will still be attached to their wrist by the other. Who knows how many guys working offshore or being out there recreationally (fishing, surfing, yachting, etc) have had an _aww fuck!_ moment when their watch bracelet broke  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> ^Yeah that's pretty much as bad as stretch can possibly get  
> 
> One of the reasons NATO straps are so popular with guys who spend time in places with their watches in places where if the band breaks they'll never see it again is there's no links to break, and if one spring-bar breaks the watch head will still be attached to their wrist by the other. Who knows how many guys working offshore or being out there recreationally (fishing, surfing, yachting, etc) have had an _aww fuck!_ moment when their watch bracelet broke


I had a friend who was a very keen and competitive sailor. He lost his Rolex over the side one day. The insurance company paid up without much fuss and he put a NATO strap on the replacement.

----------


## Shutree

> HW, my Airking hasn't kept good time for years... I think towards the end it was gaining around a minute a week. I noticed that it gained more time at home in Isaan than when working in the cold of Norway. I had idly thought about logging the time gained and making a graph... but of course never bothered.
> 
> I once had it serviced at the place on Wireless Road a few years ago and seem to remember it wasn't cheap at all... and after that service was when the time started gaining. At this place in the UK where I've just got my DateJust from, the main man will wear a watch for a few days and make adjustments if necessary to improve the time keeping, but these watches will run slightly differently depending on the wearer.


I've had mine serviced once a decade, regular as, erm, clockwork. Which means it is due again soon. Last time the service cost nearly double the original purchase price. When I last looked, the same model in top condition (which mine isn't) with box and paperwork were being offered at about 100 times the original purchase price, before adjusting for inflation.
Each time it goes into the Rolex workshop they reset the timing or whatever the correct term is. Every time I get it back I have to get used to it running faster or slower than before. I don't mind that, it just has more character than my perfectly adjusted Seiko.

----------


## Shutree

Well I didn't find any lottery tickets ending 16 and the winning final pair was .... 38.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I've had mine serviced once a decade, regular as, erm, clockwork.


I have an Omega. I service mine once every 5 years. Though, I take mine off when chopping wood or hammering or the like.

----------


## bsnub

In regard to my fellow Rolex bro's a good friend of mine from the UK has a reliable watchmaker in LOS. He is not a poster on TD but someone I know from another watch forum.

----------


## Edmond

> my fellow Rolex bro's


Sounds like a Grindr gangbang video.






Not that there's anything wrong with that.

----------


## Mendip

^ None of that kind of talk on this thread, thank you!  :Smile: 

The view out of my office window this morning... a proper frost.



I'm finishing early and heading in to town this afternoon to have a look around try and get a new watch strap sorted. 

I've just added a jumper to my shopping list... quite a difference since I came over nearly three months ago to the midnight sun.

----------


## lom

> I'm finishing early and heading in to town this afternoon to have a look around try and get a new watch strap sorted.


Haga Antika Tiders Urmakeri ,  Linnegatan 1  (neighbour with 7/11)
One of the last watch repair shops in Gothenburg, having 5 watchmakers working there.
Well reputed.




> I've just added a jumper to my shopping list...  quite a difference since I came over nearly three months ago to the  midnight sun.


Pass. I hate buying cloth, I don't know shit from shinola. You're on your own!

----------


## Mendip

^ I finally managed a trip in to central Gothenburg yesterday but didn't get a watch strap or a jumper... but I did get a pint of draught cider!

Yep, I got pissed off with the work yesterday so took an afternoon off...

I walked in to town with my Norwegian mate... I needed a translator.

We passed under the big bridge... imagine living in that white house on the other side... they must have been well pissed off when the bridge was built and blocked out the evening sun.



Gothenburg used have a thriving ship building industry and now a lot of the cranes and gantries have been left as a monument to the past. 



Near the ferry terminals there is this tower with a lady looking out to sea... many docks have similar, showing a woman looking out for her man lost at sea,



Apparently this is called 'The Sailor's Tower' and commemorates sailors who died during World War 1. My mate wanted to go up to the top... but it's 49m high and I bladdy hate hate heights, so bollox to that.

A photo of the 'Kvinna vid havet' (Women by the Sea) was enough for me.



And by the ferry terminal is The Seaman's Mission. These places are usually good for a cheap beer... but HTF do you get up there? It's up the top of a cliff. So on we went.



The lorries queuing up for the ferry to Germany, with my weird Norwegian mate in his hat.

About 10 seconds after taking this pic I nearly got taken out by the cyclist. I'd foolishly stepped on to the cycle lane for a better angle and they take no prisoners. Another bike came from behind and I froze like a rabbit...



You've gotta laugh!

----------


## Mendip

On the outskirts of the city we started to see some nice buildings.



A museum of some sort I think...



And whatever is this place?



Gothic architecture at its best!



And some more cranes from the old ship building days...



They almost look a bit prehistoric...



And another piece of history... to commemorate Swedes settling in America and buying land from the native Americans...





And a juvenile magpie. There's actually two birds in this pic... any ornithologists...?



And a few pics of what I guess would be called Gothic architecture?

Some nice buildings, whatever they're called!



It's not easy to get a good pic with all the bladdy busses and trams zipping around. The trams are lethal and I really don't like them.

But... 'Peas of Heaven'  :Smile: 



And some more...



A beautiful old bridge...



An old alley... 



But let's face it, these old buildings get boring after a while. Right opposite that alley was...

----------


## Mendip

This looked promising! 

But surely there should be an apostrophe in there?  Where's Cyrille when you need him?

'

A proper pub! We were greeted by a very cheerful landlord who seemed happy to see us... the place was empty. Maybe a Sunday afternoon session isn't a Swedish custom?



And what a selection! What I'd give to have a pub like this in Korat... with a few girls of course!

To the left... (port)



And to the right... (starboard)



But only one choice for me... a shame it was Irish but my first pint of draught cider since The Robin Hood on Sukhumvit on July 25th... a few hours before I started on this ridiculous work commute...



We soon found out why the landlord was so happy to see us... 26 quid for three drinks! (another guy had joined us)

The first item on the menu was 'Fish Roe', and not a steak and kidney pie in sight... in fact no pies at all. We decided to eat elsewhere... so another walk...

A famous church I believe.



A concertina bus... in three parts. I've never seen that before.



We found a place to eat a sit down burger...

I noticed this at the doorway of the burger place... it looked like something had twatted the dressed stone surrounding the door frame.



The burger was fancy but unremarkable... and another 30 quid with a drink.

The beer was served in this kind of pewter mug... I was getting worried that the food would come on a piece of wood or a floor tile, or whatever else they think up. But thankfully it was a normal plate.



So, my day out all finished.

The famous church in the evening... I took this pic just before another b@stard tram spoiled the view.



And a final arty pic of Gothenburg, or 'Göteborg' as they like to call it here.



It was nice to have a glass of Gato Negro in my student digs after the afternoon out.

And to admire the new addition to my rock collection... a nice piece of Swedish red sandstone... and a fine miniature example of Gothic architecture to boot!

----------


## Chittychangchang

Nice to see you soaking up the local culture.

Peas of Heaven, priceless :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

It only took you a month to get in there, it looks a,azimg

----------


## Edmond

:Wank:

----------


## Edmond

Would have to start with the two IPAs, before moving onto the Staropramen, and then starting on the draught Erdinger Weizen, before pocketing the Erdinger glass.

----------


## aging one

The Lagunitas IPA is from my home area Marin county Ca.  Do give it a try if you go back Mendip. For me its a first off the plane tipple.

----------


## lom

Sorry Mendip but The Bishops Arms is only an expensive tourist trap, there are two more of them in Gothenburg and forty all over Sweden.
They all look the same, if you've been in one of them then you've been in all of them.
The one you visited is not there because a lot of people go pubing in that part of town, it is there because of the hotel there which is owned by the same chain.
There is one (without hotel) opposite the watch shop I recommended at Linnegatan (which is the dine and drink street of Gothenburg).

I do suspect though that Red Lion in Majorna has a much more folksly atmosphere than this sterile chain pub.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Sorry Mendip but The Bishops Arms is only an expensive tourist trap, there are two more of them in Gothenburg and forty all over Sweden.
> They all look the same, if you've been in one of them then you've been in all of them.
> The one you visited is not there because a lot of people go pubing in that part of town, it is there because of the hotel there which is owned by the same chain.
> There is one (without hotel) opposite the watch shop I recommended at Linnegatan (which is the dine and drink street of Gothenburg).
> 
> I do suspect though that Red Lion in Majorna has a much more folksly atmosphere than this sterile chain pub.



maaate, 

this is sterile.

----------


## Neverna

> And whatever is this place?


It looks like a power plant to me.

----------


## lom

^ Houses in Gothenburg are mainly heated by hot water and this is one of a couple of hot water plants in the city, this one is using oil and natural gas and it also generates some electricity.

"Rosenlundsverket's production capacity today is 662 MW heat and 36 MW electricity, calculated as given heat and electricity output, respectively."

Gothenburg is also using excess heat from the refineries and heat from garbage burning in this hot water pipeline which covers the whole city.

----------


## Neverna

^ Good stuff, but I expect an awful lot of heat is wasted as the steam/hot water makes its way to the houses.

----------


## lom

> Good stuff, but I expect an awful lot of heat is wasted as the steam/hot water makes its way to the houses.


Some but the pipes are buried two meters down in the ground (frost free depth) and are well isolated with hard polyurethane foam inside.


The power plant in Mendips picture is nowadays only a backup, most of the hot water is generated from energy that in the past was wasted so transfer losses are not something to cry about.
The temperature of the water at the plants is 70° celcius in the summer and 100° in the winter, it is fed to a heat exchanger in the connected houses were it becomes 60° for tap water and radiators.

The other side of the river, opposite Mendips office, are full of refineries and there were when I was young some huge flames burning there almost round the clock and the area kilometers around was dirty of soot and noisy.
Today those refineries are clean and silent.

----------


## Mendip

This is the view out the front of my office, and I've been told that the great big silver tower on the far side of the docks is for hot water storage. It was only finished being built last year.

Maybe this is part of the hot water heating system? It's just on the outskirts of the huge refinery area... so maybe the heat generated there is stored?

----------


## lom

> It was only finished being built last year.


so I know nothing about it  :Smile: 


Edit:
but google knows

"By 2025 at the latest, Göteborg Energi will phase out all fossil fuels from the district heating system. To achieve the goal, we are therefore building an accumulator tank that will act as a warming battery for the city."

----------


## Edmond

Nice weather. 

Do you have any time to throw a line in and try catch a mermaid?

----------


## Mendip

^ I took that pic four weeks ago when I arrived... it's cold and wet today.

There's a girl geo 'mermaid' who arrived in the office last week who I've got my eye on and may throw a line...

She let slip it's her 30th Birthday coming up... so finally someone 'age appropriate'! 

This is a very young company.

----------


## Loy Toy

^ Don't do it mate!

Think about your daughter!  :ourrules:

----------


## ootai

> ^ Don't do it mate!
> 
> Think about your daughter!



Mendip
Take no notice of this advice and go for it, you never know.

As you probably know due to my posts here, as I am sure I would have mentioned it somewhere.
Anyway my first wife died when my daughter was just 2 years old and thereafter every time I looked like hooking up with a lady people said think of your daughter, whatever that means.
I used to tell them, "I am, how can she be happy if her Dads not?".
My reasoning was and still is try to put yourself in the right frame of mind so that they are or feel secure and happy then they will grow up not tarnished by the shit that happens to you, them and everyone.

Good luck.

----------


## Chittychangchang

What happens in Sweden, stays in Sweden.

Get your tackle out Mendip and see what bites.

Women in there 30's are attracted to men in their 50's.

She's even given you a hint , she's after a birthday present.

Just be careful she's not a complete bunny boiler before you let her bounce on your trampoline.

----------


## Edmond

Knob her.

----------


## Mendip

^ Well, this went down hill fast!  :Smile: 

I'm not sure the decision will be mine... I think she looks at me as more of a father figure. But I love a challenge so we shall see





> @mendip - hang in there & good luck in your future plans. Request: can you get a can of surstromming & sample it? Do it with the windows open, though. Cheers!


And another challenge. This was one that I was happy to avoid. But I don't know... stupidity took over today, or maybe I've just been working too long.

I picked up this at the local supermarket yesterday... and it wasn't cheap.



The ingredients...



It all looked pretty harmless, but I've been warned about this surströmming before. It's basically rotten herring in a can... a delicacy in these parts but I've heard that kind of talk before.

My Norwegian mate said the smell's so bad it should be opened underwater. He offered to take some pics for me, but said he'd use the zoom and wanted to stand at least 5 metres away. Bearing all this in mind I decided to try it out doors as I didn't want to stink out my accommodation.

So off we went after work tonight to find somewhere suitable.

Perfect... a deserted Gothenburg beach with a table just sitting there waiting.



I set the table... a brand new tin opener specially bought for the occasion and a tin of Heineken ready to wash the fish down.



All set... I even took of my coat and put it well out of the way. I was starting to have second thoughts about this.... my Norwegian mate was unusually cheerful.

----------


## Chittychangchang

Couldn't possibly taste and smell any worse than that fermented Thai mud fish?

----------


## Mendip

I leaned back to open the tin in case anything spurted out... but no.

In fact I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.



And then, Jesus Christ... the smell hit me. A rancid dead dog and pla ra stench all in one. I tried to drain the juice away and got the putrid stuff all over my hands... it bladdy stank. It really was awful. I wiped my hands on my jeans by mistake... (they now stink, as does my coat and even my phone).



But what can ya do... gotta try it once you've gone that far...



Now, I can eat almost anything so long as it's not _pet maak maak_... but not this. About the only thing I can't stomach is pla ra and the neighbour's dark brown Ya Dong... they both give me neck shake. But  now I've found a third thing... surströmming... I cannot possibly see how anyone can enjoy, or even just stomach it.

I love fish... fresh or smoked... and it's not the slimy texture of this awful stuff... I love gravlaks and pickled herring. This was something different... you could just taste the disgusting putrid rottenness of rancid rotting fish. It was absolutely revolting... and the smell... God... a rotting stench that went right up the back of the nostrils... no way should this be food.



Back where they belong...



Never again...



Empty tin, towel and bowl... all in the bin. They were not coming back with me. 

The smell...




Katie... you owe me!

----------


## Chittychangchang

:smiley laughing: 

You know what to buy the missus for Christmas now :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

:smiley laughing:    :smiley laughing:    :smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

You wiped your hands on your jeans!!! :smiley laughing:

----------


## lom

> Never again...


pussy! 

(next time rinse it under water first to get rid of most of the fermented juices..)

gravlax btw is made in a similar way as surströmming, I think the difference is only the time of fermentation

----------


## Saint Willy

> next time rinse it under water first to get rid of most of the fermented juices..)



 now you tell him

----------


## lom

> now you tell him


useless, I had already told him not to buy it cause he wouldn't like it.  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> This looked promising! 
> 
> But surely there should be an apostrophe in there?  Where's Cyrille when you need him?


In the absence of any better informed opinion and being in need of some displacement activity just to keep occupied, I would say:

Standard grammar requires an apostrophe, its location helping us to know how many bishops are involved.
One bishop: The Bishop's Arms.
More than one bishop: The Bishops' Arms.

That said, business names sometimes dispense with the apostrophe, which probably helps make things a whole lot easier for everybody. So I can give you for example "Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, Inc."  Popeyes

Probably there are lots more examples out there.

A similar example would be "Shorts" as the often used name for Short Brothers plc.

Separately, the very idea of rotten fish is dreadful enough. Then people have the nerve to put it in a can and sell it. Then people buy the stuff?

----------


## Mendip

Some more displacement activity for you Shutree.

This is well worth a listen... from my neck of the woods.


BBC Radio 4 - The 'Apostrophiser'

----------


## Mendip

> Have you been to the Red Lion yet?


It's taken me a month... but finally made it last night!

My Norwegian mate is heading back to Bergen tomorrow and he wants to make the most of the 'inexpensive' alcohol prices in Sweden. I guess the only good thing about being Norwegian is that everywhere else you go seems cheap.



There is some hope for Sweden...



And it was nice to see they can do something with a fish other than let it rot and stick it in a tin.



But I had to ask for the peas as an extra... my first portion in months.



There was also some outstanding scenery in The Red Lion which seems par for the course for Sweden, but in the interests of not getting arrested I didn't take any pics.

Some different scenery... it's not quite The Clifton Suspension Bridge but looks nice at night.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - thank you for the pics & vids! And the shout out too! I was laughing all the while, like your colleague. Thanks for being a good sport. Cheers!  :Very Happy: 

Btw, maybe you could buy 2 cans extra. One for your UK family to try over the holidays, one for your wife & daughter (and maybe the gardener, plus the doggies too).  :Very Happy: 

There are "cats sniffing durian" vids on YT. Maybe you can make a "dogs sniffing surstromming" vid - it might go viral! 555

----------


## Saint Willy

> There are "cats sniffing durian" vids on YT. Maybe you can make a "dogs sniffing surstromming" vid - it might go viral! 555


 :rofl:

----------


## David48atTD

> There are "cats sniffing durian" vids on YT. Maybe you can make a "dogs sniffing surstromming" vid - it might go viral! 555

----------


## Mendip

> Btw, maybe you could buy 2 cans extra. One for your UK family to try over the holidays, one for your wife & daughter (and maybe the gardener, plus the doggies too).


To be honest Katie I don't think I'll be taking any Swedish food back to the UK... no offense Lom.

And taking Surströmming back to Thailand? 

It would be like taking coals to Newcastle.... Thailand can well take care of itself for disgusting smelling foodstuffs... pla ra springs to mind.

But you've given me an idea for a future thread if ever I get home... "Dan and Coco sniffing revolting smelling Isaan concoctions"... 

... there will be an endless supply of material for that thread.

----------


## lom

> There was also some outstanding scenery in The Red Lion which seems par for the course for Sweden, but in the interests of not getting arrested I didn't take any pics.


Did I mention folksy atmosphere?  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Back where they belong...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Empty tin, towel and bowl... all in the bin. They were not coming back with me. 
> 
> The smell...



Just read the daily news from Gothenburg:

Dangerous discharge: Chemical divers on their way

The rescue service is currently in Elfsborgs harbor (Älvsborgshamnen) in Gothenburg, reports Göteborgs-Posten.

According to the newspaper, eight units from the rescue service are on site to take care of some form of dangerous discharge. 
Chemists are on their way to the site.

 :smiley laughing: 

(it is not a joke, it is for real)

----------


## happynz

^ Even crabs won't touch the stuff? Wow!

----------


## Saint Willy

> I leaned back to open the tin in case anything spurted out... but no.
> 
> In fact I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.
> 
> 
> 
> And then, Jesus Christ... the smell hit me. A rancid dead dog and pla ra stench all in one. I tried to drain the juice away and got the putrid stuff all over my hands... it bladdy stank. It really was awful. I wiped my hands on my jeans by mistake... (they now stink, as does my coat and even my phone).
> 
> 
> ...



Famous last word "I don't see what all the fuss is about"

And your buddy was having a right ole laff. 

 ::doglol::

----------


## armstrong

You can't go wrong with a British style pub anywhere in the world.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - when you go home to TH, you could make a YT channel dedicated to your dogs. It might become viral!  :Smile: 

The YT channel of husky Keyush has 1M+ subscribers, and his friend Sherpa has 300k+ subs. There are various cat channels too, even groundhogs!

My suggestion is to keep the vids short & sweet - people watch dog/ cat vids for laughs & stress relief (and the cute factor).

Cheers!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> And Sweden is a pea desert mate... in fact I'm not sure I've had a portion of peas since I left Korat in July.





> you haven't been around..


Well, I have now!

Sweden is looking better and better...

What a weekend I've got coming up!

----------


## Mendip

Things are definitely on the up in Sweden!

----------


## Saint Willy

Jaysus, you really love your peas.

----------


## Mendip

^ I do indeed!

They're good for you as well... I'm sure I read somewhere that peas have more Vitamin C than oranges, so they're good to ward off the corona virus which is now on the up in Sweden.

I've got a problem with my fridge and it keeps freezing my tomatoes and salad. I hate to throw food in the bin so I've been chucking it out the window for the hares. There's loads around here.

They're getting tame with all this good food and tonight I managed a few pics... here's the best two. These hares are huge, probably at least as big as Coco and maybe a bit heavier.





Gothenburg seems to be a very 'green' city. I've never seen hares hopping around a UK city... I once had a family of foxes living under my garden shed in Bristol but the last time I saw a hare was in the 'cow' field by my mum's house many years ago.

----------


## hallelujah

Loving the classic Italian combination of vino rosso,  lasagne al forno ...and garden peas.  :Smile: 

Personally, I wont settle until you've got the natives of your little Isaan village chowing down on garden peas with their somtam.

----------


## Mendip

^ Kind words... I think!

The natives are proving very resistant to eating peas... to be honest it's only really me and the daughter who partake, and even she's starting to show signs of rebellion against having peas with almost every meal. That's the problem when they start getting older and thinking for themselves.

Anyway, peas are extraordinarily versatile and tonight I livened up my Swedish meatballs with a portion. You don't get that at IKEA!

----------


## Dillinger

> Don't do it mate!
> 
> Think about your daughter!


Go full Luigi... do both :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

Welcome back, Dil!

Are you still seeing that same fella you went on the big wheel with?

----------


## Dillinger

^ That was my youngest son, you fukkin wrong un :Smile:  

Both boys are named after United legends as it goes :Smile: 



Why am I still tuning into a Thai expat forum, to see what some West Country yokel geologist is getting up to in offshore Scandinavia?

 That new Swedish bird, bet she stinks like those Nigerian legends Lu used to pick up on Suk 15, like Hal's stinkin and a mingin Man surstromming United :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

Fucking ell. He's been having his Shredded Wheat, hasnt he? If he says it's Monday, it's Monday.  :Smile: 

Bryan and Eric?

----------


## Chittychangchang

> Both boys are named after United legends as it goes


Alex and Ollie :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^

Hark at 'ee, just because you come from the West Country doesn't necessarily make you a yokel... 

That Irish reaction to the surstromming was a bit over the top. I wouldn't say it was gert lush but I could have eaten it if I was hungry. 

Maybe years living in Isaan has made me a bit immune to rancid smelling food? Or maybe it's because I have a very poor sense of smell, which is a bit of a worry at the moment.

Anyway, she's not Swedish, she's from Kent, so proper English. There's also a French girl working here who stays in a hotel... and she brings me in a croissant every morning from the hotel buffet for my breakfast...

I'm starting to like Gothenburg!

----------


## Chittychangchang

> There's also a French girl working here who stays in a hotel... and she brings me in a croissant every morning from the hotel buffet for my breakfast


Ruddy hell, you're fighting them off with a stick mate!

Get onit like car bonnet :bananaman:

----------


## Saint Willy

How come the French girl gets to stay in a hotel?

----------


## OhOh

More convenient for the office manager to visit?

----------


## lom

> The natives are proving very resistant to eating peas...


When I grew up there were peas in the meals every now and then, of course not as frequent as it seems to be in England. We don't overdo things and we have other vegetables than carrots and peas so we can vary with the accessories..

Most of my friends hated both of those and then they grew up to cook for their children remembering the promise they gave when young, "I will never force my kids to eat carrots and peas" and that is where we are today. 

Peas should be a voluntary, by request, accessory and not a requisite  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Ruddy hell, you're fighting them off with a stick mate!
> Get onit like car bonnet


I won't be fighting anyone off... believe me.





> How come the French girl gets to stay in a hotel?


That is a very good question... The grotty student digs I'm staying in have six dirty bedsits, and they're not all occupied. The office says that they keep it only half full due to Covid isolating so it seems that I was just unlucky in my timing when I turned up. Some of these people actually prefer this social arrangement for their accommodation rather than having a hotel room to lock yourself away in and drink cheap red wine... go figure... But I must admit, it's handy to have my own fridge and a microwave to use.

I offered to swap accommodation with a couple of people but they thought I was strange. I offered to share with one, but she thought that was really strange!

Hotels aren't that great over here... long stay guests only get their rooms cleaned and bedding changed once every two weeks 'due to Covid...', and they have to find their own towels from the hotel laundry. Covid seems to be used as an excuse to lower the already dreadful customer care in Scandinavian hotels.

----------


## Mendip

> When I grew up there were peas in the meals every now and then, of course not as frequent as it seems to be in England. We don't overdo things and we have other vegetables than carrots and peas so we can vary with the accessories..
> 
> Most of my friends hated both of those and then they grew up to cook for their children remembering the promise they gave when young, "I will never force my kids to eat carrots and peas" and that is where we are today. 
> 
> Peas should be a voluntary, by request, accessory and not a requisite


I don't know how yet another thread has become about peas - or _petite pois_ as I may soon be calling them - I eat loads of different veg but peas are my favourite, it's as simple as that.

I'm in difficult circumstances just now... you try microwaving a bowl of sprouts or a cabbage. You'll soon go back to peas.

Fruit is certainly no problem here... I'm usually first in the office and today at 6:30 there was the weekly consignment of milk and fruit waiting on the doorstep. I reckon the delivery man must have forgotten to put his clocks back. I carried them all up to the office kitchen and helped meself to a couple of the huge plums for my efforts.



Today marks a major milestone. Yesterday I finished the box of 240 PG Tips that my mate brought to the boat on August 25th, exactly two months before. I make that 120 teabags a month, or 4 a day... which ain't right and doesn't add up. Someone has been pilfering them.

This morning I started the long awaited Yorkshire Tea, with my Great Yarmouth mug _sans_ chewing gum.



Tomorrow will mark an even bigger milestone... I'll finish the big project I was put on and can start thinking about the future. They've thrown a couple of small projects at me but I should be finishing up here sometime next week. 

Now I'm going to have to really start thinking about what I'm going to do.

----------


## lom

> I don't know how yet another thread has become about peas -


Sorry, I see the thread is about your commute to work. What is it, 30 meter?  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Now I'm going to have to really start thinking about what I'm going to do.


Why do you sit in their office and do job for them? Why don't you do it from an office in your home?

----------


## Mendip

In the past I used to work a lot from home but for a number of reasons now find it easier to keep home life and work separate. I'm very busy at home anyway.

But... Covid has changed everything. At the moment my project coordinator sits somewhere in The States and some document control girl who gets involved is in the Caribbean. The broadband in Thailand is perfectly good enough for me to log into and work on the office network so I may have to start looking at this. I just need to get a half decent desktop and a couple of big monitors.

I'm not established enough yet with this company... but if the opportunity arises then yes, this is the way to go. They are doing more work for Equinor in Norway just now and it'll all need finishing up. Who knows, could even end up working from quarantine in a hotel room. If I could get that sorted then two weeks lost could turn into two weeks work.

----------


## Mendip

Dill meant to keep thinking of my daughter's welfare 'in general' while doing the dirty. Words can be misconstrued.

My daughter is similar in age to Dill's daughter... they're friends on Roblox!

And anyway, it's a moot point. My idea of 'age appropriate' seems to be a lot different than this 30 year old's... I think she's just after me for my Yorkshire tea bags.

----------


## lom

> And anyway, it's a moot point. My idea of 'age appropriate' seems to be a lot different than this 30 year old's... I think she's just after me for my Yorkshire tea bags.


"Share your brew" it says on the box.

----------


## Saint Willy

She might have been the pilferer??

----------


## Headworx

> I think she's just after me for my Yorkshire tea bags.


Didn't know you're from Yorkshire, but this girl sounds like fun  :Naughty:

----------


## Mendip

^ I've been called a lot of things, but never a Yorkshireman before... red owed!  :Smile: 


^^
To be honest I don't care if she was the pilferer. 

I've forgiven her already... I like a girl with low morals.

----------


## OhOh

> could even end up working from quarantine in a hotel room


Available at my AQS hotel in Bangkok. Beats watching Thai workers building the new BTS bridges.




> If I could get that sorted then two weeks lost could turn into two weeks work.


Make sure the hotel  has 24hr room service.

Here is one list:



Check for an updated list maybe one out of Bangkok.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I've forgiven her already... I like a girl with low morals.


EXcellent point!

----------


## Mendip

^^ Thanks OhOh... I really need to start making some kind of a plan...

With complete European lockdowns imminent I'm not sure what to do... an Italian friend of mine working here in Gothenburg has just cancelled a two week break back in Milan because his return flight here has just been cancelled. He's going to stay working with so much uncertainty around, as I think I will if there's work on offer.

I hit two major milestones today... I finished the big project I came here to do, so now I can leave once I've had enough. They're throwing small stuff at me which is fine... I'm into my 13th week but still holding it together and will just take it a few days at a time. Work is work after all, and I can't get home...

And... the second milestone... my French lady friend brought me in TWO croissants this morning, a chocolate one and an apple one. I think it's time to make my move, and clearly she doesn't worry about a guy carrying a couple of extra pounds...



But first things first... Wednesday has turned into the Red Lion night... and I've always thought that a thread can't have too many pictures of a pint of cider.



An Englishman, an Italian and a Swede walk into a pub...

And they all have fish an' chips with peas as an extra side! I'm finally teaching these heathens...

Apart from the Swede of course... he had extra sauce... go figure. They're not the most adventurous race.



And damn fine it was too.



What a great night until this guy came in with his beautiful dog... and I became all maudlin. How I miss my dogs and what I'd have given to have my five sitting at my feet.



But you can't hold a good man down! 

Have I mentioned how odd the Swedes can be? Very nice... but odd at times.

Since the clocks went back I've noticed a few people walking around in the dark evenings wearing shipping lights. Much as I like my maritime stuff, the day I start wearing port and starboard lights on my elbows, please someone just shoot me.



This cheered me up no end!

----------


## Saint Willy

Shipping lights? Is it a special vest? If so buy one, just for laughs.

----------


## Mendip

I think they're just red and green lights that strap to your arms with velcro...

There's a difference between laughing with people and just being laughed at... but I will have a look around.

----------


## Saint Willy

Makes sense though....

----------


## lom

> Who knows, could even end up working from quarantine in a hotel room.


The quarantine period has been reduced to 10 days now

----------


## Mendip

^ To be honest a reduction of 4 days quarantine isn't really an incentive for me, and besides I've got my watch to pick up in the UK now.

I reckon I should be finished up here in a week or so, and one of the managers has already mentioned I should take some time off... I'm not sure if she's worried about my welfare or worried about the comeback if I lose the plot - the hours I'm working are completely illegal in Scandinavia... it's day 90 tomorrow but I want to try and make it to 100! And they've already hinted at more office work over the winter...

When I started this work trip in late July off northern Norway it was perpetual daylight and a midnight sun. That seems an awfully long time ago now.

Today when I started work in the office around 6:30am dawn was just breaking...



And after a pretty shitty 11 hours today I left the office in the dark to be faced with this...



And no... it's not a half mile queue for a loaf of bread in cold war USSR... this is a queue for a bottle of wine in 2020 bicycle and scooter happy Sweden at the state run Systembologet... at 6pm. OK, admittedly Covid social distancing Sweden, but even so...

I nearly got the hump and leave empty handed, but it was a half an hour walk to get there and I've got a weekend to get through, so I soldiered on...

I've been boycotting French produce since the 1980's but this was cheap (209 SEK) and besides, I have a French project at the moment so this may be perfect!

Tres bon!

----------


## Saint Willy

> this is a queue for a bottle of wine


holy heck. 

You need to stock up on the quiet weekdays. 20 euro's is not bad.

----------


## ootai

> holy heck. 
> 
> You need to stock up on the quiet weekdays. 20 euro's is not bad.



Mendip
I doubt there are many times I agree with TRW but I do this time.
Why, if you have to queue to get your fix, didn't you buy half a dozen bottles?

If you weren't mad before then after working 100 days you will be now.
You won't know how to function in a "normal" society like back here in Isaan!
I was in Korat 2 days ago and it was raining like mad, rained the whole 90km trip from my place to Korat and  the whole 90km trip back.
So you might not have enjoyed being here after all.

I just found out a married couple  who I have known for 20 years are now working in Sweden at LKAB mine, they are both Mining Engineers.
He sent me a picture looking out of their apartment window and it was all snow, fukk that to cold for me.

Take care.

----------


## Klondyke

> this is a queue for a bottle of wine in 2020 bicycle and scooter happy Sweden at the state run Systembologet... at 6pm.


Is the alcohol sale still restricted, allowed only in special shop and after 5pm? I was shocked to learn it while staying for some time high in the North some 40 years ago. 

I was said it's very essential to govern the sale, having so many deep drinkers hence suicides during the long lonely nights in winter.

----------


## David48atTD

> Have I mentioned how odd the Swedes can be? Very nice... but odd at times.
> 
> Since the clocks went back I've noticed a few people walking around in the dark evenings wearing shipping lights. Much as I like my maritime stuff, the day I start wearing port and starboard lights on my elbows, please someone just shoot me.
> 
> 
> 
> This cheered me up no end!


It just let you know if they are coming or going.

As opposed to cumming and going  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I guess it's a good idea, so long as you know red is port and green is starboard, but not everyone's an old sea dog like meself. I could instantly see that this chap was dangerously close to the rocks off his port bow. 

I would have thought a simple red light on your back and white light on your front would be better on land, maybe with some indicator lights for turning? 

Although it has to be said that being run down by a cyclist or scooter rider is an ever present threat in Sweden.






> holy heck. 
> 
> You need to stock up on the quiet weekdays. 20 euro's is not bad.





> Mendip
> I doubt there are many times I agree with TRW but I do this time.
> Why, if you have to queue to get your fix, didn't you buy half a dozen bottles?


There is method to my madness... I'm not getting nearly enough exercise with my accommodation only 100 metres from the office. The dark evenings, shitty weather and only summer clothes to go out in, stop me going for pleasant evening strolls. But, I'll always make the effort for my wine! It's about an hour round trip, and one box at a time guarantees I get a regular walk.





> Is the alcohol sale still restricted, allowed only in special shop and after 5pm?


For anything over 3.5% you need to go to the government run _Systembologets_. These are open until 7pm weekdays and 3pm on a Saturday... so 6pm Friday evening is rush hour.

To be fair the queue did move fast... the Swedes don't mess around in these places. And it was restricted to a certain number at a time due to Covid, hence the queue. I was all done 10 minutes after taking the photo, so credit where credit's due.

Despite a different attitude towards Covid than most other European countries, and a complete absence of face mask wearing, Sweden are quite strict at applying social distancing. Inside, the _Systembologet_ was near deserted. The office I work in is also deserted with most working from home and just coming in for the occasional half day.

----------


## David48atTD

> I would have thought a simple red light on your back


Too close to a 'Rent Boy' advertising to me  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Well, I have only one thing to say tonight...

Santé  :Smile:

----------


## Chittychangchang

Romantic meal, whens the date arriving?

----------


## Saint Willy

Date night!! And no more from him, did he get so nervous that he drank himself into oblivion or did he get invited back to her hotel room? Enquiring minds want to know.

----------


## Chittychangchang

She turned up late on account of queuing up for some hard grog so she can have her wicked way with him.

She's on his bed in his student digs covered in Peas and Mendip is having his dinner. :Smile:

----------


## lom

What effort you have to go through in order to get a hotel breakfast!

----------


## Saint Willy

He appears to be still MIA. I wonder if he made it to work today?

----------


## Mendip

Bonjour

I mean hello!

Today is a big milestone for my work commute. I miscounted last week and have found out that today is work day 100! It would have been day 102 if I hadn't taken a weekend off to get chased by cows in Somerset. I'm finishing up a project today and have been given another that is maybe a week or so's work, then with a few other odds and ends that should be it.

So what to do? It still looks as though I'll be heading back to Somerset for a while, but with England in full lockdown it's not very appealing. Much as I love me mum, a visit is one thing but being confined to the same house for a month could test things.

These guys have indicated there may be another big project being sent off a boat... and if so, would I be interested? But, a manager has already said she thinks I should take time off... the Swedes aren't used to greedy British contractors and find it strange to do 100 days of almost back to back 12 hour shifts.

All things considered, work through to Christmas would be great but my head is starting to throb... so maybe I'll take a local weekend off soon and then take on more work. Who knows what will happen next year? 

What to do for a weekend in Gothenburg?

Another dilemma... Wednesdays have traditionally become fish and chips with petite pois I mean peas night at the Red Lion with my Italian mate, when we get half pissed and talk about how strange the locals are. But... he's taking some work colleagues along tomorrow. Maybe I should do the same? 

... but one thing I have discovered... she can't half talk.

----------


## OhOh

Depends what you are discussing/being bombarded with. A defensive mechanism for some, for others a way of controlling the immediate future.

How does she see having a pet dog or three?

----------


## Saint Willy

A big project being sent from boat to office or are they talking about being on a boat? Can they give you work and some weekends ?

----------


## Mendip

^ Its a project that will soon be started on a boat that's working just now, but they don't have the resources to tackle it so are thinking of sending all the data to the office.

I think I could probably handle it if I took alternate weekends off, and that should keep the HR girl happy. I think she's worried I'm gonna have some kind of breakdown from overwork. The problem I'd have is that if I took a weekend off I'd probably just go down to The Red Lion all day Saturday and get hammered... and then feel more knackered than if I'd stayed working. I know myself.

To be honest a couple of weeks off first would be good, but then I take the risk of the work going to someone else. I'll get the current work finished up first then think again next week. I'm trying to think of Covid as an opportunity to do a load of work as I'd never do a trip this long under normal circumstances.

 It's really strange in the office this week... there's been a new Covid directive for Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmo advising people to work from home if possible due to a spike in cases. The office is now deserted apart from a handful of contractors. They don't keep issuing new laws here as with the UK, they just give out advice and people take heed. 

They also strongly advised against socialising and eating out, but bollox to that I'm still having my fish and chips tomorrow night!

----------


## Mendip

> Depends what you are discussing...


Must admit OhOh I'm not quite sure...

I've spent so long in Asia that I seem to just filter out anything a female says... although I'm not proud to admit it.

I'm a bit out of practice with 'conversations' and had to really concentrate, but I think I got away with it!  :Smile: 

All said and done, I think the French accent on a girl takes some beating.

----------


## Chittychangchang

> I've spent so long in Asia that I seem to just filter out anything a female says... although I'm not proud to admit it.


I don't think you are alone with that on here.

I actually enjoy working with Western females and the associated banter although it take some getting used too, just have to be careful sometimes. 

Very different to Thai women.

----------


## Chico

Luckily enough,whilst many are stopping work,my contract finished Monday,go back tomorrow,was convinced this contract would be cancelled,but got lucky.

phew, long winter for many coming.

Had a few weeks last time, that was enough.

----------


## Chico

Mendip,as always a very nice peaceful read.

----------


## ootai

> I think I could probably handle it if I took alternate weekends off, and that should keep the HR girl happy. I think she's worried I'm gonna have some kind of breakdown from overwork. The problem I'd have is that if I took a weekend off I'd probably just go down to The Red Lion all day Saturday and get hammered... and then feel more knackered than if I'd stayed working. I know myself.



Mendip
Instead of going and getting hammered you should try exploring the city by learning to ride one of those scooter thingy's.
Pass the time productively by learning a new skill, getting some fresh air and more importantly staying sober.

Good luck

----------


## Chittychangchang

FFS give the guy a break!

The fooker deserves a proper weekend bender and to be balls deep in a French lady.

----------


## Saint Willy

> The fooker deserves a proper weekend bender and to be balls deep in a French lady.


I think he's managed one of those goals already.

----------


## Shutree

> All said and done, I think the French ... girl takes some beating.


Erm, okay, but make sure she gives explicit consent beforehand.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Looper

> All said and done, I think the French accent on a girl takes some beating.


She is asking for a proper pork-sword pounding with that lush accent Mendip




Blow your beans and spill your peas in the name of queen and empire sir

 :UK:

----------


## lom

> But, a manager has already said she thinks I should take time off..


That is she telling you in a non-offensive way that she's aware of you hitting on the female contractors.

----------


## Mendip

^ And you instantly assume that it's not the female contractors hitting on me?

We're very emancipated here in Göteborg Lom...

Anyway, this thread has taken a strange turn, I don't know why.

Wednesday night is my night at Le Red Lion.

I had my usual...

Fish an' chips, with dill and crispy fries... or French fries as I like to call 'em.



Dill never turned up... but someone else did!

Bon Appetit!



And I get the peas for free, which is a result!

----------


## Mendip

Today I looked out of my window and could scarcely believe my eyes...



Yeah... had TeakDoor's very own Göteborgian come to visit?



We've had 'Where's Coco?' and 'Where's Cyrille?' ...

Where's Lom?

----------


## Saint Willy

> Anyway, this thread has taken a strange turn, I don't know why.


200 straight days without any conjugal visits?






> Dill never turned up... but someone else did!
> 
> Bon Appetit!
> 
> 
> 
> And I get the peas for free, which is a result!



You bladdy tease, show us a bit more than a faint hint of a flash of white shirt ...

----------


## lom

> Wednesday night is my night at Le Red Lion.


and so is Friday night according to a post of yours a few days ago, or maybe that was The Red Lion




> Where's Lom?


back in Samui after a short séjour in Bangkok to apply for a new passport. (Got BKK Airways cutlery)

----------


## Saint Willy

That’s interesting 


now back to the French lass...

----------


## Mendip

^ Forget the French fille...

Lom... Bangkok Airways still do metal cutlery!!!?

I'll trade a BKK Airways spoon for THREE Singapore Airlines spoons?

Or a complete Qatar meal set... knife, fork AND spoon!

Your choice.

----------


## lom

> Bangkok Airways still do metal cutlery!!!?


It's been plastic for many years and now suddenly metal! 
Fork and spoon, dessert size (~75% of full size) 

I want to keep these but with some luck I might be able to get a set for you next time I fly with them. 
You have just missed a complete set on ebay, contact the seller who may be able to get you a set.

bangkok airways airlines tray melamine utensil and 3 stainless cutlery flatware  | eBay

----------


## Chittychangchang

> ^ Forget the French fille...
> 
> Lom... Bangkok Airways still do metal cutlery!!!?
> 
> I'll trade a BKK Airways spoon for THREE Singapore Airlines spoons?
> 
> Or a complete Qatar meal set... knife, fork AND spoon!
> 
> Your choice.


Message Dill he's got a full set of Thai club class cutlery. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

_^_ I don't know... it seems like cheating, but collecting airline spoons has become such a difficult hobby that maybe desperate measures are allowed in desperate times....

It's nice to see Lom is a fellow _koutalophile_ though, and swaps are still allowed...

I had an email from my manager yesterday saying that someone in the office has tested positive for Covid and that everyone now has to take a PCR test. 

I'm alone in the office this morning as I missed a later email saying not to come in today and await instructions about getting tested. I'll stay and get some work done... I don't fancy spending a day in my shitty little room and besides, I don't want to give any excuses for these guys knocking days off my invoice.

I surely hope I don't test positive... not sure what would happen then.

I am so sick of 2020...

----------


## OhOh

> I am so sick of 2020...


A balanced life is a happy life.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah well, I'm not as balanced as that.

In fact, after three and a half months of long shifts I'm starting to feel decidedly unbalanced.

Today is just weird... a big office completely deserted apart from a handful of contractors.

Have been promised a 'Covid test team' will be along at midday to do their stuff...

I really have no idea what a positive result would mean... certainly any travel will be out of the question and I should be finishing up my current workload at the end of the week.

Strange times indeed.

----------


## bsnub

Oh, my. I will keep my fingers crossed for you Medip. Best wishes mate.

----------


## lom

> I had an email from my manager yesterday saying that someone in the office has tested positive for Covid and that everyone now has to take a PCR test.


There was a new covid case in Samui two weeks ago and it was a lady from France, from France were also the last two cases in April.
My advice is that you keep a safe distance to the French frill. :Smile: 

Hope you haven't got it

----------


## Mendip

^ I think that decision has been taken out of my hands.

I don't think I'll be catching Covid from her... or anything else for that matter!

----------


## Mendip

> Oh, my. I will keep my fingers crossed for you Medip. Best wishes mate.


Thanks for the good wishes mate!

But... well, fark me... that wasn't very pleasant. 

I didn't realise my nose went back that far.

Results tomorrow...

----------


## Stumpy

Good luck Mendip.  My friends who were tested said the same thing.  That swab up the schnaze is eye watering.  Guess its better than a colonoscopy.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## pickel

^
I got tested the other day as I currently have a cold. It's definitely annoying having a swab being spun around somewhere behind your eyeball for 10 seconds. Tested negative fortunately.

----------


## Saint Willy

Hope it’s all good, Mendip.

----------


## hallelujah

> Good luck Mendip.  My friends who were tested said the same thing.  That swab up the schnaze is eye watering.  Guess its better than a colonoscopy.


I've had 2 - one I did myself - and I didn't think it was as bad as people had said it was. It certainly tickled, but the doc was kind enough to let me sneeze as much as I wanted, which I didn't think was great form in the current climate!

----------


## Mendip

> I've had 2 - one I did myself...


^ Are we talking Covid tests or colonoscopies now?  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> ^ Are we talking Covid tests or colonoscopies now?


Definitely Covid tests.  :Smile: 

I'd be a shit (gay) porn star too; my gag reflex was shocking!  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

This is all becoming pretty real. Up to now Covid has just been something I've read about or seen the consequences... from a distance. 

All staff have been banned from going in to the office for a week, leaving just a few of us contractors. It's really weird being in a big office that's deserted... like a never ending weekend.

A Spanish contractor was supposed to be flying back to Barcelona tomorrow, but has been told to wait for his Covid test result. If it's positive of course he won't be allowed to fly (should have gone today!).

We get our results tomorrow and there's a really strange atmosphere that's not nice at all. There's an air of depression everywhere... it seems so long since things were normal.

If I test positive, hopefully they will set me up to work remotely from my shitty little room, so long as they have more work for me.

To be on the safe side I made an unscheduled run to the Systembologet tonight, but who am I kidding, this won't last five minutes if I get confined to quarters.

I thought I'd persevere with the French for one last try... but don't hold out much hope. She's back to Nice on Wednesday... unless she gets a positive Covid test result of course...

Must admit, I'd risk it!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Maybe you need to stock up good and proper

----------


## ootai

mendip
All I can do to help is wish you the best and hope the test result is negative.
If it is you might want to exit Sweden ASAP but where to go to that is the question!
I was wondering why you hadn't posted any replies on the "Cock" thread but obviously you have had more important things to worry about.

Take care mate and try to stay positive.

----------


## Stumpy

> All staff have been banned from going in to the office for a week, leaving just a few of us contractors. It's really weird being in a big office that's deserted... like a never ending weekend.


That is how life is for almost everyone nowadays Mendip.  Nobody goes to the office, everyone works remotely and through various video apps.  It is like a never ending weekend.  If you work from home it takes a different style of discipline as you have to work but you are at home and people have a hard time understanding you need to work. If in a little office apartment its even harder as you are basically stuck.  I know quite a few colleagues that are really struggling with it all.  For me I miss the visiting US co workers that were regularly visiting.  We would catch up, go to dinner have some drinks.  Now its all Skype and Webex and whats funny is everybody on calls are in T shirts. Shorts, baseball hats.  Office attire sure has changed.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## lom

> All staff have been banned from going in to the office for a week, leaving just a few of us contractors.


Is anyone in the office wearing a mask? Is it voluntary or mandatory to wear it?

I find it a bit strange that employees are not allowed into office but contractors are.. Make sure they have paid your invoices up to now.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yes, it is a bit strange. 

I suppose that employees can work from home, whereas contractors here don't generally have that choice. Also, the company is paying us anyway so probably wants their money's worth. 

I'm not certain what would happen about payments with a positive Covid test though... if I would have to quarantine in my shitty little room a for a couple of weeks I'd want to be set up with a pc and a couple of monitors so I could log into the office network and keep working. This is uncharted territory.

But anyway... I'm sure I'll be negative. The wife says of course I'll be negative... as I'm never positive about anything. Fourteen years living in Isaan has done that to me!

And as for masks, I took mine off when I arrived in GOT back in September and I was the last person I'd seen wearing one... until yesterday. The nurse who came to the office to do the Covid testing was the first person I've seen wearing a mask in seven weeks. No-one wears them in Sweden.

----------


## Mendip

> mendip
> 
> Take care mate and try to stay positive.


Ummm... 

I'm rather hoping to stay negative!

----------


## Stumpy

> I suppose that employees can work from home, whereas contractors here don't generally have that choice. Also, the company is paying us anyway so probably wants their money's worth


Yeah that part has to be hard. Empty huge office space with a few contractors. I work 100% remotely now and have a satellite office at the factory that I use when I visit. The factory rules are very stringent. Have to wear mask 100% of the time, no exceptions. If  caught with no mask employees are sent home and lose that day of pay. As a customer I have to wear a mask outside my office but inside I do not. If caught outside my office with out a mask I could be asked to leave. If I go out to take a walk I exit one side of the building and have to enter on the opposite side where security monitors your temperature. Its a HUGE factory so that walk is good 1+Km then another good 1/2 a km to walk back to the side my office is located on inside. 

Hang in there Mendip. You are not alone, many are feeling the same odd feelings you are and the anxiety associated with it.  Just keep banking those "freedom chips".

----------


## katie23

Hi Mendip - good luck and I hope your covid test turns out negative!

Re: masks & Sweden, I know that Sweden didn't lock down & they're doing social distancing, etc. An advantage of Sweden is that the population is low and you can safely distance and not wear masks.

I still think that wearing masks are better, at least for now, esp here in PI (where we have highly congested cities). I think we are one of the most extreme countries in terms of measures, but it's working. Accdg to the worldometer chart, the number of daily cases has decreased. There was an increase of daily cases in July and August, when we opened up from strict quarantine. 

But then in mid August, the gov't mandated wearing of masks AND face shields, esp indoors (supermarkets, malls, banks, factories, public transport). They found that there were increased cases in factories because ppl couldn't safely distance (and probably kept touching face & eyes). The face shields, though inconvenient, does prevent one from touching the eyes & face. So I'll continue wearing the mask & shield (and we have no choice bcos if you go to a bank/ mall without them, you can't enter - the guards will stop you.)

----------


## Shutree

> ^ Yeah well, I'm not as balanced as that.
> 
> In fact, after three and a half months of long shifts I'm starting to feel decidedly unbalanced.


Mendip, I was wondering why you work such long hours. Is it conteactual or choice? Seems like if this work is going to drag on (and you are lucky to be working just now) then it might seem a bit easier if you made some more time for yourself amongst all the work.

----------


## Mendip

^ It's just the way it is Shutree...

Offshore, 12 hour shifts are a given, although they often end up longer.

If I'm charging the same rate for onshore work, the contractors expect long work days. I think 10 hours would be OK... I tend to do around 11 but take a bit of time for other stuff, such as TeakDoor! A normal company will also put you up in a hotel, and there's per diem... so they don't want you hanging around longer than necessary.


But anyway... the big news for me is that I tested negative for Covid! 

I must admit that yesterday I'd convinced myself I had it... I had a snotty nose all day, but I think that must have been due to having the swab rammed through my nose to the back of my brain. The news came through yesterday evening and I felt better immediately.

All the other contractors tested negative as well, but I have no idea how the staff got on. There is a huge Covid spike in Gothenburg just now and for the first time yesterday I saw Swedes wearing masks in the supermarket... they must be getting worried.

With the negative test results came some bad news as well... it meant that my French friend was able to fly back to Nice at the end of her rotation. She left this morning.

I thought I'd had a sign yesterday... and even went to the effort of changing me bed sheets, although to be fair they probably needed changing after seven weeks here anyway.

I also wasted nearly 40 Krona on these...



Tell me Lom, why can't you Swedes just call them Durex and stick them in a normal size box that everyone recognises? It took me bladdy ages to find these things... I was so long looking that the shop girl asked if I needed some help. I of course said no, but carried on looking... which she found very strange and then started following me around. I felt like a right idiot.

The negative test result also means I can have my Wednesday night visit to The Red Lion... but it will be just me and my Italian mate tonight. I may even try something different from the fish and chips with _petit bladdy pois_.

I won't be picking up any French red wine at the Systembologet either... the Chilean is much better.

----------


## helge

> There is a huge Covid spike in Gothenburg just now


Heard about Stockholm

20 % of the tested are positive

----------


## Shutree

But anyway... the big news for me is that I tested negative for Covid!


 :sexy:

----------


## Saint Willy

Glad to hear you are negative.

----------


## lom

Congrats for testing negative!





> Tell me Lom, why can't you Swedes just call them Durex and stick them in a normal size box that everyone recognises?


Why should we call them Durex? 

"Durex is a condom brand. It was originally developed and produced  in London, Great Britain, under the purview of The London Rubber Company  and British Latex Products Ltd, where it was manufactured between 1932  and 1994."

The one you bought were made by RFSU a famous Swedish brand.





> I was so long looking that the shop girl asked if I needed some help. I of course said no, but carried on looking... which she found very strange and then started following me around. I felt like a right idiot.


Hilarious  :rofl:   Teenage déjà vu was it?

----------


## lom

> Heard about Stockholm


both Stockholm and Gothenburg has seen an increase in cases since end of October.




> 20 % of the tested are positive


Says who?

----------


## Shutree

> Congrats for testing negative!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Why should we call them Durex? 
> 
> "Durex is a condom brand. It was originally developed and produced  in London, Great Britain, under the purview of The London Rubber Company  and British Latex Products Ltd, where it was manufactured between 1932  and 1994."
> 
> ...


Durex has passed into English as a generic name for condoms. Like Thermos and Fibreglass.

Anyway, glad to see Mendip got the packet of 10, none of this packet of 3 nonsense for him.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah... but I think I was being a little bit optimistic!  :Smile:

----------


## lom



----------


## ootai

> Ummm... 
> 
> I'm rather hoping to stay negative!



 Originally Posted by *ootai*_mendip

Take care mate and try to stay positive.

_




> Ummm...
> 
> I'm rather hoping to stay negative!
> 
> But anyway... the big news for me is that I tested negative for Covid!



See I told you to stay positive!!!

----------


## ootai

> Tell me Lom, why can't you Swedes just call them Durex and stick them in a normal size box that everyone recognises? It took me bladdy ages to find these things... I was so long looking that the shop girl asked if I needed some help. I of course said no, but carried on looking... which she found very strange and then started following me around. I felt like a right idiot.



Mendip
I know you lived in Perth so did you ever ask for "Durex" while there.
You might have got a shock if you did.
We Aussie's call sticky/Scotch tape "Durex".
I can't believe you were such a wuss not telling the girl what you wanted when she asked if you needed help.

----------


## Looper

> I also wasted nearly 40 Krona on these...


Not wasted Mendip as you can use them to defrost and heat up portions of peas in the microwave  :Smile: 

Don't over do it on the clock or they will explode - otherwise can be safely re-used.

If they are the flavoured variety then will add a little bouquet to the feast.

----------


## Mendip

Anyway... I need some advice from a semi sensible, trustworthy Göteborgian.

Lom..... can you think of anyone?  :Smile: 

My work is coming to an end and I should finish up by the weekend. But... there is another batch of work coming off a boat next week, so I've agreed to take a few days off locally and then tackle that.

This is a great solution as I can now work throughout the UK lockdown and I reckon I'll keep going to Christmas. I'd never have believed that when I left home for a month's work back in July I'd still be going five months later! To be honest I'd like to work through the entire pandemic if it was possible... at the end of the day, every day I work now is one less day I'll need to work next summer. I've promised me daughter a big holiday next year.

Anyway... what to do for a few days off in Göteborg?

My rough plan is to have a lie in, then find a decent full English breakfast, or failing that, buy some decent British sausages and make breakfast myself (although I fear that a full English, or even decent sausages, may be hard to find).

After that, a long walk somewhere or other, followed by a late lunch in The Red Lion.

Göteborg Zoo is on my list, as is a watch shop to get a new strap. 

Any 'must see' sights you'd reccommend Lom?

----------


## ootai

deleted double post

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> I know you lived in Perth so did you ever ask for "Durex" while there.
> 
> I can't believe you were such a wuss not telling the girl what you wanted when she asked if you needed help.


Probably not to be honest... unless they have male pharmacists...





> If they are the flavoured variety then will add a little bouquet to the feast.


If I ever get to open the pack I'll let you know... hopefully not Surströmming flavour.

----------


## helge

> Says who?


The test results ?

Hver femte coronatest i Stockholm er positiv: '&#39;'Det er italienske tilstande'&#39;'  | Udland | DR

*Hver femte coronatest i Stockholm er positiv: 'Det er italienske tilstande'*
Læger i Sverige advarer om belastede sygehuse efter en brat stigende coronakurve.

----------


## lom

> Anyway... I need some advice from a semi sensible, trustworthy Göteborgian.





> Anyway... what to do for a few days off in Göteborg?


You are asking a guy who moved to Thailand 20 years ago and who last visited his home town 2010...

I'll see what I can come up with but it will be much google inspired.

----------


## Klondyke

> Anyway... what to do for a few days off in Göteborg?


Why not to take a train and stay for few days in Stockholm. There are good sight seeing tours in town. Years ago I took one, seeing a.o. also the interesting Vasa museum, intact ship rescued after 400 years. And a good night life in town...

And/or a train trip farther to the north along the coast (double Long John not to forget)...

----------


## Happy As Larry

> Congrats for testing negative!
> 
> Why should we call them Durex? 
> 
> "Durex is a condom brand. It was originally developed and produced  in London, Great Britain, under the purview of The London Rubber Company  and British Latex Products Ltd, where it was manufactured between 1932  and 1994."
> 
> The one you bought were made by RFSU a famous Swedish brand.
> Hilarious   Teenage déjà vu was it?


Too many years ago I visited Sweden (my first overseas trip) as part of a school exchange programme for 3 weeks or so one summer.
One of the young English girls in my group went out into town very early on in the stay to see the sites eventually returning to the family she was staying with.
She put her things on the table as she spoke to the family about her day. The parents looked aghast at what as on the table and asked her why she had bought one particular item . 

"Oh the chewing gum. I like chewing gum. I saw it being sold in a vending machine in town, so I bought some" she said with a smile pointing at a packet of condoms.

I guess they didn't sell Durex back in the day either

----------


## Chittychangchang

Why not try a Swedish massage, be rude not too seeing as though you're in Sweden.

I reckon you've earned it.

----------


## Stumpy

> ^ Yeah... but I think I was being a little bit optimistic!


Firstly, Congrats on the test results Mendip,

Since you got 10 of them you can double up for extra protection and brag later you went through a 10 pak.

----------


## Headworx

The elephant in the room is who's Mendip putting a tail on that he needs a raincoat for? That French piece maybe?  :Smile:

----------


## Bogon

> Anyway... what to do for a few days off in Göteborg?


You don't have to thank me...

Escorts Gothenburg | Sweden

Gothenburg - WikiSexGuide - International World Sex Guide

47 Eskorts - Kaupunki: goteborg

Gothenburg Escorts and Sex Guide | Euro Sex Scene

Skank  in Goteborg  Prostitutes Vastra Gotaland

----------


## Mendip

^^ A wasted purchase sadly HW... I think she must have been worried about coronavirus.

But at least I got to share half a box of my French red wine with her!

Anyway, I'm covered for Christmas decorations now, and the way this job is going...

So my friend departed back to Frogland and it was back to normality... Wednesday night drinks at The Red Lion with my hairy arsed Italian contractor mate.

I picked up a decent Chilean at the Systembologet on the way... bollox to that French rubbish. I now feel free to resume my boycott of French goods.



I didn't fancy the fish & chips with French fries, so went for the daily special... a traditional Swedish _Raggmunk_...

Thick bacon on a bed of shredded potato pancake with lingonberries. You are of course free to add any sides of your choice.



[QUOTE=
You bladdy tease, show us a bit more than a faint hint of a flash of white shirt ...[/QUOTE]

I'm assuming this request is no longer valid KW? I can ask if you like?



I wouldn't normally have a dessert, but had to keep my mate company while he had is.

A bladdy Crème brûlée... there's no escaping it!

----------


## lom

> a traditional Swedish Raggmunk..


bastard! It looks lovely and I guess it was since you presented it without any bickering.
Peas together with it is just a bit too much, they don't match that dish..

----------


## Mendip

> You don't have to thank me...
> 
> Escorts Gothenburg | Sweden
> 
> Gothenburg - WikiSexGuide - International World Sex Guide
> 
> 47 Eskorts - Kaupunki: goteborg
> 
> Gothenburg Escorts and Sex Guide | Euro Sex Scene
> ...



Well thanks Bogon... I think...

To be honest this isn't the direction I was expecting this family oriented thread to take...

But I did click on one link out of curiosity... '_stop spreading coronavirus together!_'

I declined to enter from my work computer!

----------


## Mendip

> bastard! It looks lovely and I guess it was since you presented it without any bickering.
> Peas together with it is just a bit too much, they don't match that dish..


It was really good... I'll definitely try it again. 

I did in fact ask for sprouts but they didn't have any.

----------


## lom

> My rough plan is to have a lie in, then find a decent full English breakfast, or failing that, buy some decent British sausages and make breakfast myself (although I fear that a full English, or even decent sausages, may be hard to find).


I can't find any restaurant serving any kind of English breakfast nor can I find a shop selling English sausages.




> Göteborg Zoo is on my list, as is a watch shop to get a new strap.


The only zoo in Gothenburg is Slottsskogen
"Previously deer-hunting land, now park with picnic areas, running tracks & zoo with Nordic animals."
So no elephants, giraffes, lions, tigers..

Google Slottsskogen for a map of it. It costs nothing to walk around there and one side of Slottsskogen is not far from The Red Lion

You can get a new strap at Bergströms Ur (carries the Rolex brand), Östra Hamngatan 43 (Kungstorget)  or at
Haga Antika Tiders Urmakeri, Linnegatan 1  (Järntorget).

If you then walk Linnegatan up 150 meters you come to Plantagegatan where the Old Beefeater Inn is located and with an English candy/cookie shop as its neighbour.


Old Beefeater has  Fish & Chips with peas on the menu..
When you're done there you can walk Linnegatan all the way up (500m) to Slottsskogen.

----------


## lom

> Any 'must see' sights you'd reccommend Lom?


Can't come up with anything at this time of the year when snow will arrive any day.
There are some good museums but they are all closed due to covid.

This is the time of the year to spend free time in home with a hot soup or a cup of tea with sarnies or hang in your favorite pub.


some links for your convenience

Log in to Facebook | Facebook

The English Shop

https://www.beefeaterinn.se/

https://en.tripadvisor.com.hk/Restau...7&ff=448732833

----------


## Shutree

[QUOTE=lom;4185806]Can't come up with anything at this time of the year when snow will arrive any day.
There are some good museums but they are all closed due to covid.

This is the time of the year to spend free time in home with a hot date.[QUOTE]

FTFY

----------


## Mendip

Many thanks Lom for your efforts... and yes the snow doesn't feel far off. 

Maybe a jumper shop will be in order as I'm starting to get some odd looks walking around in short sleeved summer shirts. And it's getting bladdy cold!

The Old Beefeater Inn looks right up my alley, and fish and chips with peas would be the icing on the cake! I'll check opening times as I think a lot of places aren't open for lunch.

And Shutree, I need 10 hot dates to get my money's worth, but I can't really see that happening. 

But the big news for me... I think I've found me proper sausages! It was hard to tell from the pics but there may even be some black pudding as well!

By my reckoning this place is just across the road from The Bishops Arms from a few weeks back. How time flies...

The British Shop

----------


## lom

> Maybe a jumper shop will be in order as I'm starting to get some odd looks walking around in short sleeved summer shirts. And it's getting bladdy cold!


Nordstan, a few hundred meters from The British Shop.
I would go up to the church and turn left into Kungsgatan where you also may found a jumper shop.
If not, walk on until you reach Östra Hamngatan, cross it (watch out for trams) and turn left down to Brunnsparken.
Nordstan is then on the other side of the canal.
On your way down to Brunnsparken you will pass NK, they are a bit expensive but surely have jumpers and jackets of prime quality.

----------


## OhOh

The Old Beefeater Inn 

Old Beefeater Inn | Plantagegatan 1 | 413 05 Göteborg | Tel: 031-42 60 92

Menu here:

https://www.beefeaterinn.se/meny/

Menu looks good.

----------


## helge

Liseberg used to be a nice park, if my memory serves me well.

How about a trip to Nya Ullevie, where the danes in 92 beat the hell out of Germany.

Have a beer and a cigar, and reflect on the fact, that danes seems so superiour.

(in their own minds)

Buy a can of Surstrømming, go to the pier and open it.

It'll be a "done that" moment for you.

(bad smell won't bother you in the future)

If you long for civilisation, there is a ferry to Denmark


Adjø

----------


## lom

> Liseberg used to be a nice park, if my memory serves me well.


Normally closes for the season in September, opens in April, this year all amusement parks closed due to covid.


Denmark aer ett sjov lille land.

----------


## helge

> Denmark aer ett sjov lille land.


Hmm
Do I detect sarcasme ?

Anyway: A "well done" for your sentence building (it's Danmark, Sawedie)  :Smile: 



> Normally closes for the season in September, opens in April, this year all amusement parks closed due to covid.


Can't you still take a walk there ?

----------


## Mendip

> Buy a can of Surstrømming, go to the pier and open it.
> 
> It'll be a "done that" moment for you.
> 
> (bad smell won't bother you in the future)
> 
> Adjø


You use the Norwegian keyboard Helge... not the Swedish?


Anyway, been there, done that Helge... but threw out the T-shirt cos it stank too much. 

Head back to Page 33, post 814...

I would compare Surstromming to having sex with a Filipina bar girl in a workman's tent on that footbridge at Clarke Quay in Singapore, in the middle of the afternoon after getting pissed up on Singapore Slings at the Raffles Long Bar... you're happy you did it, but wouldn't recommend it and would never do it again. One for the memory bank.

Tonight a sister called about Christmas while I was having my routine evening time, zonked out to Netflix with a glass of wine... we stayed on the phone for an hour and a half... which I will never get back.

But it got me thinking... and therefore a couple of extra glasses of red wine... there's also signs that me daughter's starting to suffer from me being away so long.

I'm gonna indulge meself now... nearly four months since I left... I really miss my id and dogs, also but know how lucky I am to be working through Covid as well. What a fukked up year.

Right now this feels like a world away.

What I'd give to have this bunch on my bed right now...

----------


## helge

> You use the Norwegian keyboard Helge... not the Swedish?


Yes and they use ours

Swedish one is German

----------


## Saint Willy

> having sex with a Filipina bar girl in a workman's tent on that footbridge at Clarke Quay in Singapore, in the middle of the afternoon after getting pissed up on Singapore Slings at the Raffles Long Bar...


_that_ footbridge? So this is not hypothetical?

----------


## Looper

> having sex with a Filipina bar girl in a workman's tent on that footbridge at Clarke Quay in Singapore, in the middle of the afternoon after getting pissed up on Singapore Slings at the Raffles Long Bar...


The stuff of legend  :UK: 

Arise Sir Mendip  :UK: 

A tantalising tale enough to make a fella misty-eyed for the adventure of the safari and the steamy cut and thrust of SEA's seamy underbelly in this sadly travel-bound post-covid parallel universe...

----------


## Mendip

Well, that'll teach me for posting after too much red wine. 

For many years only two people knew about that until last night.

I guess I'm lucky really... I'm so quick at it there was very little chance of getting caught!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Well, that'll teach me for posting after too much red wine.
> 
> For many years only two people knew about that until last night.


I hope you are not avoiding this thread now because of it?

besides, we already know about your special trysts with the gardener. 

How's work going? Got more, or plannig a move to UK? Can you push them to arrnage you back to Thailand?

----------


## lom

Got the jumper, the watch strap, the sausages?

----------


## Mendip

^
Well, thanks for your concern Lom...

I would have to say, that all things considered, I haven't yet got a jumper... or a watch strap... or any sausages.

I haven't yet visited a Swedish massage parlour either, or met up with a Göteborg escort!

In fact I'm still hard at work. I only intended to come in this morning for an 8:30 Teams meeting... but that has now created a days work. 

I'm hoping the big shopping expedition will be tomorrow. It looks as though I'll have more work by Thursday, so it's two days off then work until Christmas I reckon. I'll be a vegetable by then.

Yesterday I spent the entire day waiting for some charts to be sent through for checking... but they never arrived.

I had to be at my desk just in case... so... this is what I spent the weekend doing (and I hope my employers aren't members of TeakDoor)...

Every year I make a calendar with pictures of my daughter, for my mum. After I'd made the 2021 'daughter' calendar on Saturday, I got into 'calendar' mode, and for something to do I made a second one yesterday. This is 'Dan's 2021 Lockdown TeakDoor Calendar'... and it took me all day.

I just need to work out how to distribute it... if anyone's interested.

A sneak preview of September...

----------


## David48atTD

^   :rofl:  ... Legend!


Oh, and thanks for starting the week on a Monday and not Sunday as many do.

----------


## Chittychangchang

^^Respecto :smiley laughing: 

Definitely this years best thread.

----------


## Saint Willy

Middle of a fucking northern European winter, and this madman is walking around in short sleeves.... Mental!

----------


## Mendip

> Got the jumper, the watch strap, the sausages?


Ha... you'll be sorry you asked!

Today was my first day off in 8 weeks... at the insistence of the geo manager in the office... well in her home. Apart from a few contractors the office is deserted with the new Covid directives here. On Friday all pubs will stop serving by 10pm and close by 10:30pm. The Swedes are starting to get worried.

So what to do with a day off... I was of course wide awake by 5am as usual but forced myself to stay in bed a while. This was the first time I've seen my room in natural daylight for a few weeks as usually I leave in the dark and return in the dark... it's short days here now in Scandinavia.

Not an attractive prospect for a whole day... 



So I decided to get busy.

My breakfast has been a rushed cereal with some berries every morning for 8 weeks, so a decent fry-up was in order.

I rummaged around and found this...



This was the first time I've cooked for myself since the steak and kidney pie and chips I made before leaving Korat, in Post #9 back in July.

So I was a bit nervous, but as they say, once you've got it...



It would have been better with some sausages and black pudding, and maybe some mushrooms, a fried tomato and maybe a hash brown or two... and some Daddies and tomato sauce... but it was OK.



Breakfast done, off I set to cross off my needs from the shopping list. I'd already crossed off the jumper as I think I have one back at my mum's house in Somerset and I don't want the hassle of owning two jumpers, so a watch strap and sausages it was. Plus some pies which I'd added although held out very little hope.

And it was bloody pissing it down. My first day off in 8 weeks and it was pouring. I decided to walk anyway to get some much needed exercise... surely it wouldn't rain all day.



I looked back as I passed my shitty student digs to make sure I'd remembered to close the window (mine's the right hand window at the gable end).

And look who was here again. I guess I should be flattered but this is getting a bit weird...



I'd never noticed this before...



And for any Swedish readers...



Nice weather for seagulls...

----------


## Mendip

There is some hope for Scandinavia...



And some hope for me one evening as well maybe...



But no time for that kind of thing today. And 20 minutes into the hour and a half walk I was soaked.

What could have been a nice pic of a church ruined by the two worst things about Sweden... bladdy trams and bladdy cyclists. It's impossible relax here for fear of getting flattened by a tram when crossing the road or whacked by a cyclist while walking along the pavement. I could probably get used to the climate, the cost is manageable, but I could never settle here because of the trams and bladdy cyclists.



And another of the b@stards...



The Seaman's Mission with a rear view of the Sjömanshustru (Seaman's wife) looking out to sea.



And yet another. I took this to show how confusing the roads are to cross... and also to show that it's not just the trams that constantly get in the way of photos, but their network of electricity cables is everywhere... spoiling every shot.



Some modern art installation... Lom?



If it's not trams, it's buses...



And I guess this would be a fountain in the summer?



And another 'The Bishops Arms'... as Lom mentioned, this is a chain. Even so, you'd have thought they would give each pub a different name. It must get confusing when trying to meet up with people.

I reckon they were a bit optimistic putting out the outside furniture today...



But I had to keep going and not get distracted, despite the fact that by now I was cold, soaking wet and pretty pissed off with the whole thing. I had decided to get the watch strap sorted first, then hunt for the sausages and pies. I always think it makes sense to sort out the lightest items on a shopping list first.

Everywhere in Göteborg is cobbled and it looks lovely, although it is lethally slippery in the rain... I've seen a couple of people go over. 

I've been trying to get a Göteborg cobble for my rock collection but despite appearances they seem to be set in cement. Every now and again I think I've spotted a loose one but they're always impossible to discretely prise out.



And another nice church. I was absolutely fukkin soaked by this point. 

All I wanted to do was get to Lom's watch shop but my phone was so wet that I couldn't zoom in or out on Google Maps and was having trouble finding the damn place. My glasses were all covered in rain so I couldn't see a lot anyway, to be honest. I had no clean surfaces to wipe anything on as I was soaked right through to my short sleeved summer shirt. I was getting bladdy cold as well.

----------


## Mendip

Four trams and three buses in one picture. This place is just mental.



And finally! After 20 minutes inside, item one was ticked off my list.







> You can get a new strap at Bergströms Ur (carries the Rolex brand), Östra Hamngatan 43 (Kungstorget)...
> 
> If you then walk Linnegatan up 150 meters you come to Plantagegatan  where the Old Beefeater Inn is located and with an English candy/cookie  shop as its neighbour.


Thank you Lom. for that recommendation. As I left the watch shop I was intending to head for The Old Beefeater Inn, but right opposite I saw this...



I usually avoid Irish pubs because of the shite music they always insist on playing... but it was still pissing it down and I was soaked. And besides, I knew that a steak and kidney pie would be unlikely but I've never been to an Irish pub without steak and ale pie on the menu.

Everything looked promising... (never seen pear cider on draught before but I couldn't turn down a pint of Strongbow)



And then the menu came...



Bladdy hell... no pie of any description. It's actually easier to get a nice meat pie in bladdy Korat than in Göteborg, which is I think the second largest city in Sweden.

So it was fish and chips again!

Which came obviously missing one very essential ingredient.



It was good, but I won't be going back. How can you have fish and chips with no peas?

And no normal plate either, for that matter.

The money shot... a nice fillet of cod.



I then idled away an hour or so with w few pints of Strongbow while winding my watch on about 15 days and and admiring the new strap.



All good things come to an end... the view outside did nothing to entice me out, but I had to get moving before I got tempted by a whisky, and besides, inexplicably they were showing Man United against Man City... women's!



So, out into the pissing rain again.

Just up the road was this chap on a horse... Lom?



It was now also so windy that the rental bikes were getting blown over. Man City coloured bikes... Chitty would love it here.



And cold, wet, miserable and half pissed, I eventually saw this... a glimmer of hope in the wilderness...



An oasis in a food desert...



What!!! Ya have to be kidding!

----------


## Mendip

But all was OK. They had a second freezer.

I got a taxi back and laid out my haul!



The Shreddies were a real bonus. And steak and kidney pies! I can do another month here...

So tonight there was only one choice, and was I ever thankful for my Surstömming tin opener!

Back to the kitchen to end the day as it started... cooking!





To be honest though, I haven't got a clue what I'll do with another day off work if it's still raining. 

I was told to take 'a few' days off, which I'm taking as two, but I'd rather get back to it tomorrow.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I'd already crossed off the jumper as I think I have one back at my mum's house in Somerset and I don't want the hassle of owning two jumpers,


You are quite clearly barking mad!

----------


## Chittychangchang

How much were the steak and kidney pies?

----------


## ootai

Originally Posted by *Mendip* 
_I'd already crossed off the jumper as I think I have one back at my mum's house in Somerset and I don't want the hassle of owning two jumpers,_




> You are quite clearly barking mad!


Once again I find my self agreeing with KW.
Don't be such a miser and buy a second jumper.  Then you can have one at your Mum's place and one in your travel bag.
Oh and maybe an umbrella which would also come in handy in Korat so not wasted.
If you eat all that stuff you bought then you had better start doing a bit of exercise or else here comes 110kg.

If you really want to keep working there at your current job then I would recommend taking at least 3 days off which would be more in line with the spirit of the manager's request of a "few" days off. 
One = 1
A couple = 2
A few = more than 2

----------


## Headworx

> To be honest though, I haven't got a clue what I'll do with another day off work if it's still raining.


Spend the whole day at that Thai massage joint, the first 3 minutes on the massage table and the next 10 hours in a Hazmat suit helping with the clean up and apologising  :Smile: 

Fantastic pics and commentary Mendip, as ever. Like most everyone else here I've never been to Sweden and your posts give a really good idea of general life there so thank you for that!

----------


## Mendip

> You are quite clearly barking mad!


I'm living out of a bag and I need a jumper so rarely that I can't justify lugging one around all the time. Even here, I don't need one for work days.

Admittedly I could have done with a warm jumper yesterday, but I also hate clothes shopping.





> How much were the steak and kidney pies?


I deliberately didn't keep the receipt because I bet they weren't cheap. The entire haul was the equivalent of £50.

They also had Fray Bentos pies there but I don't really get the time for proper oven baking and just stick to stuff that can be done in the microwave or on the hob.





> Originally Posted by *Mendip* 
> _I'd already crossed off the jumper as I think I have one back at my mum's house in Somerset and I don't want the hassle of owning two jumpers,_
> 
> Once again I find my self agreeing with KW.
> Don't be such a miser and buy a second jumper.  Then you can have one at your Mum's place and one in your travel bag.
> Oh and maybe an umbrella which would also come in handy in Korat so not wasted.
> If you eat all that stuff you bought then you had better start doing a bit of exercise or else here comes 110kg.
> 
> If you really want to keep working there at your current job then I would recommend taking at least 3 days off which would be more in line with the spirit of the manager's request of a "few" days off. 
> ...


Several points here Ootai... it's not about being a miser (I happily shared a load of expensive red wine with my French friend), but as with the heavy tin opener, it's all about lugging around excess weight in my bag. I've already got the tin opener, I've got offshore clothes and office clothes, and going out and about in Bangkok clothes for that matter. I've got a winter ish coat, and don't forget that china mug my mate bought me. Where does it end? Unless I'm strict I'll end up heaving about an entire kitchen and a wardrobe to cover four seasons. You have to draw the line somewhere.
And as for an umbrella...  :smiley laughing: 

But you are spot on about the food. I'm trying to lose weight and have no idea why I bought the chocolate, biscuits and sweets... I guess it was just because they were there. I'm a bit annoyed with myself to be honest.

And yeah... I was trying to push the boundaries of 'a couple', but it's pissing it down again today and I don't really know what to do... a movie in bed while I think about it. The only reason I'm here is to earn money after all...





> Spend the whole day at that Thai massage joint, the first 3 minutes on the massage table and the next 10 hours in a Hazmat suit helping with the clean up and apologising


Ha, well... it is raining again today after all...

But 3 minutes on a massage table seems like an awfully long time!  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Just up the road was this chap on a horse... Lom?


Not Lom

Carl asshole number 9 of Sweden  :Smile: 


Went to war with his nice neighbors, as you do when you are swedish

Dano-Swedish war - Wikipedia

World record in years of war between us.

Bloody white asians



I'm Helge and I aproved this message

----------


## Mendip

^ I don't want to get into any local politics!

It rained constantly on my second day off as well, but I got on with some unfinished business.

Since I moved into my shitty little bedsit eight weeks ago, the only company I've had (apart from a brief visit a couple of weeks ago from my French friend to quaff a load of my red wine) has been a small collection of potted plants on the windowsill. By regular watering I've managed to bring back to life one out of three, but I just know that as soon as I leave it won't get watered and will be left to die again.



So yesterday I decided to do the right thing and give it it's freedom. I really don't know why I do these things but once it's in my head I just can't help myself... my philanthropy doesn't only extend to Korat's street dogs. A couple of years ago I spent ten weeks in a Stavanger apartment under similar circumstances and nursed back to life a miniature potted mango tree. When the work was finished and it was time to go home, I didn't want it to die so I smuggled the mango tree back to Thailand and planted it in our garden. The bladdy thing died two weeks later... I think Korat was too hot for a Norwegian mango tree!

Anyway, on my way to the shop yesterday for provisions, I stopped off to do the good deed. It's very wet and mild at the moment so I think it'll be OK so long as we don't get any frosts too soon.



I was hoping to find some black pudding at the shop as I'd forgotten to check for it in The British Shop. After a lot of looking around the closest I found seemed to be this... but Google translated the name to 'Leaky Sausage' so I gave it a miss.



But anyway, the day's work done, the highlight of my second day off was definitely a big fry-up. And a brand new bottle of HP Sauce just for one breakfast... how un-miserly is that Ootai!  :Smile: 



It continued to rain for the rest of the day. The life of a contractor can be a lonely one... it was just me and the dead mint plants.



Today it is back to work and I walked in through a wild storm.



The work I came in to do hasn't arrived yet so it's an easy first day back. The rain has stopped and blue sky is poking through the cloud. 

Tomorrow promises to be a nice sunny day and if one more person says I should have taken Friday off instead, I think I will strangle them!

----------


## ootai

Mendip

There is still time for you to take Friday off and to enjoy some sunshine!

While I admire your desire to do the right thing by your heroic plant it is also  easy to be a problem.
In Australia we have lots of non-native plants that have become invasive just because someone thought it would be a good idea to liberate their unwanted pot plants.

As for a WHOLE bottle of sauce with your breakfast that is disgusting if not bordering on stupid.
Eggs should taste like eggs, sausages should taste like sausages and bacon should taste like bacon none of them should taste like HP sauce FFS.

I suppose I should admit that in regards to sauce I don't use it.  Supposedly Aussies are big on meat pies with tomato sauce, well I can tell you I love pies but would never spoil them by putting sauce on them. If I wanted to taste tomatoes I would eat tomatoes FFS but when I eat a meat pie I want to taste a meat pie.

As for mixing a whole lot of HP sauce with whatever sauce that is with the baked beans it must have tasted like crap.

But in the end if YOU enjoyed it then that's all that matters!!!

----------


## Mendip

Ootai, sorry about my lack of biological awareness, but it's not as though I was taking cane toads back to Korat!

And I should clarify...

I bought a whole bottle of sauce for one breakfast, but I didn't use the whole bottle... yes that would indeed have been stupid!

Unfortunately you can't buy the stuff by the serving, a full bottle is your only choice.

And there is method to my madness. I have three steak and kidney pies I can put the sauce on, and I'll take what's left back to my mum's for Christmas. Last time I stayed there she didn't even have tomato  sauce, let alone HP.

----------


## Saint Willy

That's a breakfast for kings! 

Just needed Black pudding. (and perhaps a fried tomato or two)

----------


## lom

> And look who was here again. I guess I should be flattered but this is getting a bit weird...


The worst case of plagiarism I've seen.. I'm known to drive a black SUV..




> There is some hope for Scandinavia...


Civilization level measured in the number of foreign pizza chains established?
What is better than 1 pizza? 2 pizza's! Get 2 pay for 1. Bah..




> What could have been a nice pic of a church ruined  by the two worst things about Sweden... bladdy trams and bladdy  cyclists. It's impossible relax here for fear of getting flattened by a  tram when crossing the road or whacked by a cyclist while walking along  the pavement. I could probably get used to the climate, the cost is  manageable, but I could never settle here because of the trams and  bladdy cyclists.


Whiny Brit country boy!
You should have bought a 24-hour tram pass and hopped onto one outside  of your Systembolag and jumped off at Järntorget/Linnegatan.
It is not more difficult or dangerous than the London Underground. (or  the doubledeckers trying to run over you at Oxford street..)





> And yet another. I took this to show how confusing  the roads are to cross... and also to show that it's not just the trams  that constantly get in the way of photos, but their network of  electricity cables is everywhere... spoiling every shot.



A few minutes walk towards city center you pass Masthuggstorget (Mast  chopping square) on your right hand, this is where masts were made in  the 18th/19th century for the sailing ship shipyards located further  down at the river. So now you also know what that piece of art monument  is and why it is there.

The street is Första Långgatan (First Longstreet) and is the first of  four parallell streets (first, second, third, and fourth longstreet  between Masthuggstorget  and Järntorget (Iron Square).
The area between First and Fourth Longstreet was a seedy area when I  moved to Gothenburg in the early seventies, a sailors area full of  brothels, illegal clubs, gambling and all kinds of petty criminality,  I've had the fortune to meet and chat with some of the originals who  lived there at that time. 

If you had turned right at Järntorget you would be on Linnegatan where  the real watchmakers shop is located, a stones throw further up is the  Old Beefeaters Inn with The English Shop. Linnegatan is THE restaurant  street of Gothenburg and I imagine Old Beefeaters is a better eatery  than the Irish Embassy. I may be a bit biased about the Linne area,  that's where I lived, worked, and socialized before moving to Thailand.




> Bladdy hell... no pie of any description.


You see, serves you for not following instructions. Sometimes god punish immediately.. 





> Just up the road was this chap on a horse... Lom?


As Helga mentioned it is king Karl IX, he started a settlement on the  northern side of Gota River (just opposite your work place) and that  settlement grew to become Gothenburg which got its city privilege letter  in 1621.

----------


## lom

> I was hoping to find some black pudding at the shop as I'd forgotten to check for it in The British Shop. After a lot of looking around the closest I found seemed to be this... but Google translated the name to 'Leaky Sausage' so I gave it a miss.


The sausage is from Läckö, an island, and the sausage is cold smoked. Aroi mak but a bit costly.

----------


## Mendip

^ Great stuff Lom, interesting as always.

It looks as though I'm here for another 3 to 4 weeks, so a trip to The Old Beefeater Inn is still on the cards. It was only the persistent rain and lack of proper winter clothing that prevented me going there on Wednesday. I'll look forward to a pie in due course.

Another goal before I leave is to have a ride on a tram. I'm not good at this kind of thing but my Russian 'city' mate is younger and more adventurous than I, so maybe I can persuade him to take me... hopefully without seeming like too much of a wuss.

You're a little out of date. The English Shop closed down about three years ago and is no more, now replaced by The British Shop (opposite the first Bishops Arms I went to). This shop is run by a Scottish girl, presumably why the name change. The British Shop may also soon be no more as she is worried about the impact Brexit will have on her importation of all the lovely British delicacies they stock. Only time will tell.

Oh, and I picked up a present for you... cheap as well!

----------


## lom

> Oh, and I picked up a present for you... cheap as well!


I've got one for you, I just got back from BKK having picked up the new passport I applied for two weeks ago.
Can you guess what I found under my airplane seat?  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> and lack of proper winter clothing


Who's fault was....


Ach, never mind!

----------


## armstrong

When buying Brit food abroad I find it's best not to convert into pounds. Those Iceland shepherd pies I like with a big £1 sticker on in Villa sure as fuck ain't a pound but my god they're good.

----------


## Mendip

Yes Armstrong, I 100% agree with that.





> I've got one for you, I just got back from BKK having picked up the new passport I applied for two weeks ago.
> Can you guess what I found under my airplane seat?


Well, I sincerely hope it wasn't an old KLM breakfast...

But thankfully I doubt KLM fly the BKK - Koh Samui route... so...  dare I believe...

A Bangkok Airways spoon!!!?  :Smile: 

Name your price!

Or... in anticipation I had my daughter send me a pic of my collection... take your pick of swaps! There's more than this somewhere too... I bet the gardener has a load in his kitchen as well.

----------


## lom

> A Bangkok Airways spoon!!!?


Bingo! That's what I found on the floor, someone™ must have dropped it.. 




> Or... in anticipation I had my daughter send me a pic of my collection


I must say that you are well traveled....  :Smile: 
My collection is small and has been diluted over the years but a few days ago I found a Finnair tea spoon down in the kitchen among all the lite-weight metal cutlery that my family are so fond of. Steel cutlery is "too heavy , too difficult to eat with"  :rofl: 

PM me the address to send it to and return one of your choice to me, ok?

----------


## Mendip

^ My family are fond of those paper thin spoons and forks that bend if you try and pick up anything firmer than mashed potato... but at least it keeps them away from my airline cutlery.

Many years ago a sister-in-law used to occasionally 'help' with gardening. One time I found her, and I kid you not, trimming the borders with scissors after I'd mowed the lawn. She said that the shears were too heavy.

Lom... I can do a lot better than an airline spoon for you. PM on it's way.

Last night I had a frustrating day ay work waiting for things to turn up, so I gave up and arrived early at The Red Lion for our weekly evening out. This gave me plenty of time to capture the full beauty of my pint of cider... one of my few pleasures in life just now.



There were four of us last night... and three fish and chips with peas as an extra side were ordered. My work done, I had the bratwurst with carrot mashed potato and sauerkraut. The barman at The Red Lion gave me a strange look when I ordered this... I'd like to think that I've left my mark.

----------


## Saint Willy

it looks bladdy good.

----------


## ootai

> There were four of us last night... and three fish and chips with peas as an extra side were ordered. My work done, I had the bratwurst with carrot mashed potato and sauerkraut. The barman at The Red Lion gave me a strange look when I ordered this... I'd like to think that I've left my mark.



Mendip
That looks mighty fine and not a bottle of sauce in sight.  I think I could really enjoy eating that.
Well done you're finally being a bit adventurous by foregoing the fish and chips with PEAS.

----------


## Mendip

^ Ootai, it took all my will power not to squirt some tomato sauce over the sausages.

And yes, a meal with no peas. I think I've been in Sweden too long.

Just to make sure I'm OK, tonight is gonna be steak and kidney pie, beans and HP sauce!

----------


## Dragonfly

Sweden looks like quite miserable, no wonder Lom always seems angry with the world  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> I had the bratwurst





> The barman at The Red Lion gave me a strange look





> I'd like to think that I've left my mark.





> I must say that you are well traveled....





> it took all my will power not to squir


I'm outa here

Pics ?

----------


## Joe 90

Very nice :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> I'm outa here
> 
> Pics ?


Here's a pic for you Helge...

I walked past a graveyard on the way back from the shop last night and noticed that most of the graves have been decorated with little lanterns. I've never noticed this before in the UK... is it a Swedish thing or a Scandinavian thing? Is this for Christmas or something else?




Meanwhile I've developed a problem over here...

Two of my four pairs or socks have developed holes. Usually on work trips I worry about the toothpaste lasting the full four or six weeks, but never in thirty years have I worried about socks lasting a trip. 

And yes Ootai... I appreciate that may sound miserly, but it's not an unwillingness to buy a new pair of socks, it's about getting the opportunity.

I left Korat four months ago now and reckon I have another four to six weeks work left if I want it, so no problem working up to Christmas. Then I have a decision to make... do I visit my mum in Somerset over Christmas? She wants me to stay but I'm very worried about taking Covid back to her as she's 84. I've thought about getting a test on arrival at BRS (if that's even possible), then staying 2 or 3 days in a hotel while waiting on the results, and then staying at my mum's house over Christmas which would also be the 14 days self-isolating period. 

But of course that small risk of picking up Covid on my journey and passing it on (or having it anyway but not knowing)? I wonder if anyone in the UK has any advice on this, or what the exact rules are for self isolating with someone else? For now I'm going to wait until the lockdown finishes on Dec 2nd and see what the rules are before making a plan, but I'm only putting the decision off. And of course it's not only about the rules, it's about the chance of passing Covid on to my mum for the sake of one Christmas....

----------


## Saint Willy

Buy some socks. 

Personally, I would avoid visiting mom unless you have no where else to go.

----------


## Shutree

> I left Korat four months ago now and reckon I have another four to six weeks work left if I want it, so no problem working up to Christmas. Then I have a decision to make... do I visit my mum in Somerset over Christmas? She wants me to stay but I'm very worried about taking Covid back to her as she's 84. I've thought about getting a test on arrival at BRS (if that's even possible), then staying 2 or 3 days in a hotel while waiting on the results, and then staying at my mum's house over Christmas which would also be the 14 days self-isolating period. 
> 
> But of course that small risk of picking up Covid on my journey and passing it on (or having it anyway but not knowing)? I wonder if anyone in the UK has any advice on this, or what the exact rules are for self isolating with someone else? For now I'm going to wait until the lockdown finishes on Dec 2nd and see what the rules are before making a plan, but I'm only putting the decision off. And of course it's not only about the rules, it's about the chance of passing Covid on to my mum for the sake of one Christmas....


The current rules for England are on the NHS website.

New National Restrictions from 5 November - GOV.UK

It's a bit of a moving target. I believe Boris is going to anounce new rules today. Who knows what they might be a month from now?

I can understand your dilemma. At her age, your mum is wondering how many more Christmases you might have together and you are wondering if it is safe. Very tricky decision.

----------


## lom

> Buy some socks.


and a nail cutter..

----------


## reddog

Mendip could just buy 2 cheap jumpers,cut the sleeves off one,use them as socks.
Then use the sleeveless one as a vest under the other jumper.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yes, there is of course that option...

Maybe I could also fashion a spare pair of boxer shorts I have into a hat, as my head has also been getting a bit cold!

I'm working in the second largest city of one of the wealthiest and most sophisticated countries in the world, and I don't really want to walk around looking like a tramp.  :Smile: 

But if it keeps me warm of course...

Besides, I've heard that my French friend may be coming back for a second rotation so I'm thinking of trying to raise my game a bit. I don't think she'll be so impressed to see me walking around in home-made clothes.

----------


## lom

> Besides, I've heard that my French friend may be coming back for a second rotation so I'm thinking of trying to raise my game a bit.


Will she be covid-tested before and after arriving? The daily number of new cases is very much up in France.

----------


## Saint Willy

Buy a smart cloth cap

----------


## ootai

> Meanwhile I've developed a problem over here...
> 
> Two of my four pairs or socks have developed holes. Usually on work trips I worry about the toothpaste lasting the full four or six weeks, but never in thirty years have I worried about socks lasting a trip. 
> 
> And yes Ootai... I appreciate that may sound miserly, but it's not an unwillingness to buy a new pair of socks, it's about getting the opportunity.
> 
> ...



OK I apologise for calling you a miser but I am now gonna say you are totally daft.
Cold and need a Jumper, head cold so need a beanie, toes sticking out of the socks so need new socks!!!
I am starting to see a trend here.

The solution is simple if you are normal but not if you are daft!
Take a bloody day off and go shopping!!  Then problem solved.

P.S. If the French lady is gonna be around make sure you check whether you need some new underwear and if yes then add that to the shopping list.

----------


## lom

> check whether you need some new underwear


He's got a full box of 10..

----------


## Saint Willy

> but not if you are daft!


He's not daft, he's a Yorkshireman!

----------


## lom

> he's a Yorkshireman


Mendip is far from that

----------


## Saint Willy

Ain’t Yorkshire men ‘thrifty’? I know he claims to be from Mendip, but his actions speak otherwise.

----------


## Mendip

> Buy some socks.





> and a nail cutter..





> Buy a smart cloth cap





> The solution is simple if you are normal but not if you are daft!
> Take a bloody day off and go shopping!!  Then problem solved.


Bladdy hell! I'm here to work!

And by the way, no offense taken Ootai!  :Smile: 





> He's not daft, he's a Yorkshireman!


Wow... where did that come from?  :Smile: 

Let's stick with daft... there's really no call for insults like that. 

My only connection to Yorkshire is the tea I'm drinking, but now I'll go back to PG Tips if that's what it causes. I'll use up the last few Yorkshire teabags first mind.

And anyway, one summer does not a swallow make. There's a world of difference between being a miser and chucking your money away on every latest fashion fad. 





> P.S. If the French lady is gonna be around make sure you check whether  you need some new underwear and if yes then add that to the shopping  list.





> He's got a full box of 10..


That's quite an assumption there Lom... I bought 'em over two weeks ago





> Will she be covid-tested before and after arriving?  The daily number of new cases is very much up in France.


I don't know... I was hoping to just stick a mask on her and get my 'profils' out!

Maybe I need to think this through!  :Smile:

----------


## panama hat

> Mendip could just buy 2 cheap jumpers,cut the sleeves off one,use them as socks.
> Then use the sleeveless one as a vest under the other jumper.


And people say TD has lost its helpful side! 

Well done, reddog - have a green.

----------


## Mendip

Endless greyness and rain... this is why I first drifted out to SE Asia many years ago. 



When I started working offshore in the North Sea 30 years ago all the work was crammed into the summer months due to the weather... back then the boats we used were small so the work was very weather dependent. I worked the summer and then had the long winters off. Overwintering in Asia gradually turned into living there.

Still, it's not all bad... I'd wager there's not many in Göteburg having a meal like this tonight!

Steak and kidney pie, chips and beans.



All I need is my daughter here to watch a movie with and the dogs curled up at the end of the bed and my life would be complete!

----------


## helge

> greyness


We all have the same share of sunshine

You had the majority of yours up in the Barents

Not enough peas
No pies
The pussy is french
..................................................  .....


Whinging Pom


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## helge

> All I need is my daughter here to watch a movie with and the dogs curled up at the end of the bed and my life would be complete!


Understandable and accepted

Soon

----------


## David48atTD

> Still, it's not all bad... thankfully I'd wager there's not many in Göteburg having a meal like this tonight!


FTFY  :Smile:  


*Mendip*, you've surpassed being a Cheap Charlie (and I'm one ... we prefer the term Value Hunter) and now officially, as the Thai's say ... Kee Nok.

FFS Man, buy a Jumper/Waterproof Jacket!

Covid, combined with Pneumonia is a killer ... meaning your gorgeous Daughter will have no Dad to love and fuss over her.

----------


## panama hat

> I'd wager there's not many in Göteburg having a meal like this tonight!
> 
> Steak and kidney pie, chips and beans.


That's because they have a choice . . . and wouldn't.  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

Hey Mendip! Just saying hello & howdy. I hope you're hanging on.

Missing the daughter and the dogs, but not the wife? Hmm... As for the French colleague, be careful of catching covid, as well as other things...

I know TD is a boys' club, but I'm a woman and this is my opinion, even though it may be unpopular. I've known a lot of ppl in long distance relationships. My generation was the Saudi generation (lots of Filipino dads went to Saudi/ ME as OFWs - foreign workers) and now in my generation, dads & moms are leaving behind their kids (with grandparents/ relatives) to work abroad. Lots of broken families too.

So remember, in those cold winter nights, think of the daughter, the dogs AND the WIFE.

Peace.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> think of the daughter, the dogs AND the WIFE.


In that order? :roflol:

----------


## Headworx

Well if the wife didn't put him in the doghouse he wouldn't be burying his bone next door  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

@KW - the WIFE is in CAPS. Save the best for last.  :Smile:  

And as far as I know, in TH (same as in PI), the wife (the national) owns the land. Something to think about. Remember the Jimbob story? Peace...

Edit: up to Mendip what he does. He's an adult. We're all adults, and we all have opinions (as well as arse/ ass holes). Lol. Peace all.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> So remember, in those cold winter nights, think of the daughter, the dogs AND the WIFE.
> Peace.


Katie, the reason I didn't mention missing the wife is because that of course goes without saying!  :Heart: 

Of course I miss her! And like many Thai wives, my darling wife doesn't have a jealous bone in her body and I'm sure she would just laugh at my futile attempts to woo my French colleague... who isn't even here!

Yes, she's not even here... she's in France!

----------


## Headworx

^Great cover-up there Playa, the _bone in her body_ reference was pure genius too  :Naughty:   :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> FTFY  
> 
> 
> *Mendip*, you've surpassed being a Cheap Charlie (and I'm one ... we prefer the term Value Hunter) and now officially, as the Thai's say ... Kee Nok.
> 
> FFS Man, buy a Jumper/Waterproof Jacket!
> 
> Covid, combined with Pneumonia is a killer ... meaning your gorgeous Daughter will have no Dad to love and fuss over her.



Thank you for your concern Dave.

I have a great North Face coat but the zip's broken. It's hardly been worn either. I'm OK if the rain comes straight down like we're used to in the tropics, but here it seems to come from the sides, and from underneath for that matter.

And as I've said many times before, it's not a case of being Kee Nok... it's just a lack of opportunity. After 11 hours of work I don't have the time or inclination to go clothes shopping.  :Smile: 

Also, the Covid levels in Sweden are now taking off... it seems that their strategy of no lockdowns, no mask wearance and only giving out advice rather than instruction isn't really working. I think I'm better off just avoiding busy places for the time being, and if I don't go anywhere I don't need winter clothes! But I'm still going to The Red Lion tonight, it's my one evening out!

And Dave, things aren't that bad.

This morning as I got ready for work... 

I don't think I'm quite at the 'buying new socks stage' just yet. All four pairs of my socks have gone like this within a week or so, with holes on the inside ankles. It's not my nails that are the problem Lom, but I don't know what's causing this? I rarely wear socks normally and this is outside of my experience.

----------


## Mendip

> ^Great cover-up there Playa, the _bone in her body_ reference was pure genius too


Does bribery work on you HW?

Did you realise that you star on the September page of Dan's calendar?

All I need is a promise of 1000 Baht to your nearest dog home (or more if you like) and this could be hanging on your wall by Christmas!

I'd need an address to send it to as well... and I appreciate that could be awkward. I don't need names... but just an address to send it to. Any address.

Hurry while stocks last! Top quality card and A3!

----------


## Headworx

> Does bribery work on you HW?


Possibly, but not normally from geezers what have holes in their socks!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Holy socks Batman!

----------


## PAG

I've done gigs in various locations with adverse weather conditions.   I found a combination of an inner fleece and a gortex outer worked best, either being worn separately or together.   As 'Black Friday' is this week, there are bargains to be had.   Check out Amazon.co.uk, pay the extra for express delivery, and it should be at your door within 3 days.   An example:

Berghaus Men&#39;s Prism PolarTec Interactive Fleece Jacket, Black/Black, L: Amazon.co.uk: Clothing

Berghaus Men&#39;s Hillwalker Interactive Gore Tex Waterproof Jacket, Black/Black, L: Amazon.co.uk: Clothing

Get a jacket with a built in hood in the collar.

----------


## Saint Willy

Something like this will keep your head warm and looks smart.

----------


## Mendip

^^
I like the look of that Berghaus raincoat... I'll look into this, thanks PAG!


^
Maybe I should get a couple of whippets as well to keep me company?

I'm still not from Yorkshire!  :Smile:

----------


## Looper

> I've heard that my French friend may be coming back for a second rotation





> do I visit my mum in Somerset over Christmas? She wants me to stay but I'm very worried about taking Covid back to her as she's 84


This is a good excuse for requesting a socially distanced doggystyle drilling Mendip.

Put a framed picture of your dear old mum on the bedside table to tug at Frenchie's heart strings and persuade her to present her hind quarters.




> We're all adults, and we all have opinions (as well as arse/ ass holes). Lol.


An innovative suggestion and radical thinking outside the box from Katie. Technically it could would probably still count as cheating though.

Also you possibly do not wanna bust this bold move on a first date. Pity she isn't a yerman lady.




> I'm sure she would just laugh at my futile attempts to woo my French colleague...


High risk strategy, but sneaking in the elves' entrance could be a seasonal salve to the conscience and also present some Bill Clintonesque denial options.



Have you been using those bad boys for milking the man-udder Mendip? Might wanna get your man-yoghurt pH tested at the clinic.

----------


## Neverna

> All four pairs of my socks have gone like this within a week or so, with holes on the inside ankles. It's not my nails that are the problem Lom, but I don't know what's causing this? I rarely wear socks normally and this is outside of my experience.


Probably an issue with your footwear. Look for places in the heel area that might cause a bit of rubbing; possibly just some inner stitching that needs trimmed or some other minor issue.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Aah... I though I'd diverted the thread away from this topic Looper...

Some valid points Looper... and food for thought...

... and if only I'd brought my pond water pH testing kit along with me! It doesn't matter how much you travel, there's always something to forget.

Someone as astute as you will no doubt have noticed you sit under HW on September... 

Can I bribe you onto a different topic...

----------


## Mendip

> Probably an issue with your footwear. Look for places in the heel area that might cause a bit of rubbing; possibly just some inner stitching that needs trimmed or some other minor issue.


Aah good... is that a green light to keep using them as a mastabatory aid?  :Smile:

----------


## Neverna

> Aah good... is that a green light to keep using them as a mastabatory aid?


I hadn't thought of that angle, Mendip. Let me get back to you on that!!

----------


## lom

> I like the look of that Berghaus raincoat... I'll look into this, thanks PAG!


I'm missing my dark green Burberry's long wax coat and the matching hunters hat I bought in England. 
Not that I need it here but I know exactly what shitty weather you have in Gothenburg now and now I'm missing going out in a rainy autumn or winter evening in that coat and being completely unaffected by the weather.

----------


## katie23

@looper - as I've said earlier, we're all adults and are responsible for our actions. Actions have consequences. 

That being said, I do not condone cheating on one's partner, especially if it's a committed relationship. I've seen many heartaches and broken families as a product of long distance relationships. 

Edit: if it's an open relationship, then it's another matter bcos the rules are different. 

One true story - this was a classmate/ neighbor of mine from high school. I called her mom "auntie" - our moms were friends. Her dad worked as an engineer for several years in Saudi. The (legal) family didn't know that their dad, in the later years, had an affair (and an illegitimate kid) with another woman. The dad was coming home to the PI, but not to his first family - he had a 2nd family.

The first family didn't know about the other woman/ kid until after the dad died (in his 50s, I think) and left something for the 2nd family in his will. This was before smartphones & social media. The kids from the 1st family (one of whom was my classmate) and the wife, harbored resentment for their dad/ husband. 

I know of many more stories, fit for a soap opera - usually involving OFWs. But I don't want to pollute Mendip's thread too much.

Peace.  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> Thank you for your concern Dave.
> 
> I don't think I'm quite at the 'buying new socks stage' just yet. All four pairs of my socks have gone like this within a week or so, with holes on the inside ankles. It's not my nails that are the problem Lom, but I don't know what's causing this? I rarely wear socks normally and this is outside of my experience.


Mendip
Just change the socks to the other foot then the holes will be on the outside i.e. no problem

----------


## ootai

> Something like this will keep your head warm and looks smart.


KW
You do know he's a geologist don't you, smart and geologist just never go together!

Mendip
If you bought a cap like that you would look like a dork, so i suppose you would then be a "daft dork from York".

----------


## Saint Willy

> KW
> You do know he's a geologist don't you, smart and geologist just never go together!
> 
> .


Given I completed half a degree in Geology I might take offence at that,  it than half perhaps means I am a failed geologist, so I won’t say anything.

----------


## OhOh

> Maybe I should get a couple of whippets


Ones enough. 

Don't forget to buy a muzzle:



Stops them nipping your ankles and possibly ruining your socks.

----------


## David48atTD

*Mendip* ... looks positively toasty over the weekend ... Max of +1C

Don't forget the sunscreen  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

*windgel

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> Just turn the socks inside out then the holes will be on the outside i.e. no problem


You can always rely on an engineer...


Wednesday night is The Red Lion night, my only evening out of the week. 

On the way... and this is why landlubbers shouldn't wear shipping lights... this is where the whole thing falls apart and is just an accident waiting to happen.

This dogwalker lady has her starboard light on her port elbow and her port light on her starboard dog.



And another... no lights this time, or dogs for that matter. But worthy of a photo nonetheless.



The Red Lion was near deserted... the Swedes are starting to get very worried about Covid and cases in Gothenburg are on the up in a big way. My mate flies back home to Italy on Friday and this will be my last outing for the time being. I need to avoid contacts in preparation of a trip back to the UK see my mum over Christmas.

In the meantime, my first Red Lion fish and chips for three weeks was superb as always... how time flies.





One strange thing... I ran out of hand sanitiser and found a new pot in a pocket in my bag. I seem to remember picking it up at a 7-Eleven in Bangkok before I left a few months ago.

A warning... it's bladdy horrible stuff... it stinks and made my hands all sticky. I had to go to the toilet and wash them which kind of defeated the purpose. I gave my mate a squirt as well and he was none too impressed.

----------


## Mendip

Well, this wasn't in the brochure...

You have two choices in Gothenburg this time of year... wet and cold, or dry and bladdy freezing.



A cold walk in this morning... Korat feels an awful long way off just now.





This brought back some long ago memories... 

As a teenager I well remember early winter starts at the mushroom farm I worked at, and having to stand on the bonnet of my car to piss on the windscreen to thaw it out. That was after pissing on the lock to get the key in. I don't miss that kind of stuff.





They say that cold and crisp is better than warm (not so cold) and wet... but not in a short-sleeved summer shirt and a coat with a broken zip.

I'm going shopping tomorrow for a jumper.

----------


## ootai

> They say that cold and crisp is better than warm (not so cold) and wet... but not in a short-sleeved summer shirt and a coat with a broken zip.
> 
> I'm going shopping tomorrow for a jumper.



Does that mean you are going to take a day off?     Or are you going shopping after work?

Don't forget to buy some nice warm socks that don't have holes in them.

Did you investigate buying online from the UK as was suggested?
The jumper and jacket looked good. Waterproof and warm.

There are many times when Isaan isn't so wonderful but it is never too bloody cold, for me anyway, maybe for Thai's it is.

----------


## lom

> I'm going shopping tomorrow for a jumper.


Last week when buying the watch strap you walked Södra Hamngatan from The British Shop, passing The Golden Days (which was a good restaurant when I lived in Gothenburg, English style but real food) then turning right walking Östra Hamngatan up to the watch shop.
There is a H&M shop in that corner where you turned right.
If you continue on Södra Hamngatan (crossing Östra Hamngatan) you come to the tram stop Brunnsparken and on the other side of the canal you have the shopping center Femman Nordstan on Norra Hamngatan with many clothing stores. Intersport Nordstan is one of them..

----------


## Joe 90

> I'm going shopping tomorrow for a jumper


Get yourself a woolly beanie hat you can pull down over your ears, they make a massive difference with the cold and wind.

----------


## Mendip

Thanks again guys for your ongoing advice and concern regarding my warmth.

While talking to the wife yesterday I mentioned that I was thinking of buying a new jumper and she asked why I was doing that as she reckoned she'd packed one for me, all those months ago before I left home. I must admit I was very submissive of that comment...

But decided to check anyway.



And sure enough my jumper was folded away underneath my unworn PPE. I could have sworn I'd left it at my mum's house last Christmas to save lugging back and forth every year.



What a result... a warm jumper and I didn't even have to take a day off work! Although I must admit I feel slightly foolish having been walking around feeling cold for the past few weeks with a jumper in my bag, but at least now I know why my bag was so heavy!

This was all just as well because it was minus 3 again today.




Colonel Saunders does a different menu in Sweden so I celebrated finding my jumper last night with his 'ala carte' meatballs!

It's looking increasingly unlikely that I'll be going back to the UK to see my mum for Christmas due to concern about exposing her to Covid, so now I buy wine for the motivational messages rather than taste. This work trip really is starting to feel endless.

----------


## lom

^ Dafgårds meatballs with green peas! That's IKEA++
 but I think you have added some peas, it's an excessive amount of them on your plate..




> It's looking increasingly unlikely that I'll be going back to the UK to see my mum for Christmas due to concern about exposing her to Covid,


If you think Sweden is on the up then have a look at England, BoJo is expected to introduce even more stringent restrictions Dec. 1st.
 I read about a Swedish pharmacy chain who has sold 70.000 face masks per week during the autumn. Last week they sold 500.000..
Do you notice a higher mask usage in Gothenburg? Ah that's a dumb question, you have barely been out.

----------


## armstrong

Hang on, your misses packed your bag and you haven't even checked whats in it?!

----------


## aging one

> Hang on, your misses packed your bag and you haven't even checked whats in it?!


Yeah, He sort of glossed that part over. Over a month of complaining about the cold, finding a broken jacket that didnt work while all the while there was a sweater in the bag. Mendip go through that bag well before you go through customs next. You could be in for a bigger surprise. :Smile: 

You are now bestowed with the famous California term. "Space Case".

----------


## lom

> Mendip go through that bag well before you go through customs next. You could be in for a bigger surprise.


could be a pair of new socks down in the bottom..  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Gloves and a hat, even.

----------


## Mendip

> Hang on, your misses packed your bag and you haven't even checked whats in it?!


Our routine goes like this...

I lay out the stuff I need for a work trip on the sofa for my wife to pack. She seems to think that because she's female, that make her a better folder and packer (complete nonsense of course but being the ever considerate husband I let her get on with it). After she's finished I secretly go through the bag and take out the extra stuff that she's sneaked in. She knows my hatred of carrying around superfluous clothing and is getting good at hiding stuff.

The jumper I missed as she hid it under my PPE at the bottom of the bag - I haven't needed my PPE this trip and so haven't unpacked it. I also found a second pair of jeans down there as well which I have no need for. My coat I've had all along as even a summer work trip in Norway usually requires a coat of some sort, but it isn't anywhere near man enough for a Swedish winter, that's for sure.

Sadly my wife forgot to pack and hide extra socks, hat or gloves!  But to be fair, if she had and I'd discovered them I would have just taken them out and wonder why on earth she was packing winter clothing for a summer work trip?

I did re-discover my gym socks but draw the line at wearing white socks with shoes.

Maybe I should listen to her more? As she constantly reminds me... several times a day... At least I think that's what she's going on about!  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Sadly my wife forgot to pack and hide extra socks


Your ICA grocery shop also sell socks

----------


## Mendip

^ Well there's a thought... but I've never noticed them.

I'm on to it!

Oh, and as to your comment above, yes, I did add a few extra peas!

And, I do go out some times and have noticed mask wearing in Sweden to be slightly on the rise. Now you will see the very occasional person wearing one in the shops, compared to no-one at all a few weeks ago. People generally keep their distance from one another and restaurants and pubs seem to be good at separating tables (apart from a student place close to The Red Lion that always seems to be packed). I would say that overall mask wearing in Sweden is very low... maybe one person in 50?

There was a second case of confirmed Covid in the office and now pretty much everyone seems to be 'working' from home now, and that is affecting efficiency for sure and is one contributing factor as to why my work load seems to be never ending just now.

----------


## Shutree

> Hang on, your misses packed your bag and you haven't even checked whats in it?!


ROFL!

----------


## OhOh

> now pretty much everyone seems to be 'working' from home


No socks required then.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I also found a second pair of jeans down there as well which I have no need for.


So how do you wash your current pair of jeans? 

Or do you not do laundary at all? Perhaps that's why no one in the office is coming in anymore?






> Hang on, your misses packed your bag and you haven't even checked whats in it?!


To be fair, I let my missus pack my bags for work trips too.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm way ahead of ya KW... I have a couple of old pairs of trousers for offshore. 

I wear them on laundry day... and yes, I do do laundry every week. 

The office is completely deserted apart from about five of us contractors, and that's nothing to do with my hygiene. There was a second confirmed Covid case amongst the office staff last week and now hardly anyone comes in. Contractors are gradually reducing in number as they finish their rotations but aren't replaced due to no-one wanting to get caught up with self-isolation over Christmas. I reckon I'll be on me own in week or so. I still have no idea what I'll do over Christmas with Covid on the up here and I'm thinking it increasingly risky to stay with my mum for my quarantine period on arrival in the UK. North Somerset will go into Tier 3 after the lockdown finishes on Wednesday so it's a pretty shite situation all round.

There's work to do... I may just go completely bah humbug and forget all about Christmas this year and work through... if they want me of course. To be honest I'll be glad to see the back of 2020 but if I can keep working there will be at least one positive to take from it. Much as I hate being away from home so long now, it wasn't a good feeling back in June watching the money going down but being unable to work. After this at least that pressure will be gone.

Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom...

Yesterday a package arrived for me at home and my daughter kindly opened it for me!



And for any other collectors out there... the Bangkok Airways logo.



Many thanks Lom... your Christmas pressie should be in the post by now!

This forum never ceases to amaze me. Earlier this year I sorted out 7 years of Aussie tax mess using a contact Ootai put me on to, and now even during these desperate times of Covid I can add to my airline spoon collection thanks to Lom!

----------


## hallelujah

> To be fair, I let my missus pack my bags for work trips too.


Similar to Mendip, I was told that I'm no good at it, so she always does it and tells me to go away!

Man of the year Teakdoor top tip: be as useless at washing up/ironing/cleaning the house as you are at packing your bags and you may also be told not to do these chores as well. Ha ha! 

It was a cunning plan that I hatched and which has paid off well!  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

> There's work to do... I may just go completely bah humbug and forget all about Christmas this year and work through... if they want me of course.


I would.

----------


## Mendip

I'm getting into uncharted territory this work trip... I'm on my fourth tube of toothpaste, my socks are wearing out and this morning I took my last vitamin pill.



But on the good side I've discovered a new food source... Thai-Cubes.

Stick the box straight from the freezer in the microwave for six minutes... and ingeniously a red curry chicken with separate rice!

A box in a box.



Not bad at all either... all things considered.



I may start eating more of this kind of shite as I think I'll stop my Red Lion visits... 117 people died of Covid over the weekend in Sweden and it seems they are well and truly into the second wave. The Swedes were hoping that their relaxed Covid policy was going to help the population build up some immunity but it isn't working out that way. 

I'm starting to consider the possibility of a lonely Swedish Christmas... I can't risk taking Covid back to my mum in the UK and if these guys have work I may as well keep earning. I just hope my head holds together... it's been way too much work and I'm starting to feel a bit ragged, and it's not a nice feeling just now to be considering working through the festive season. A pretty shit feeling in fact.

But in the meantime, hopefully my new MAN pills will give some protection. I've got 100 of the buggers and I surely hope that I'll be finishing these back home in Korat.



The Christmas carols were playing in the shop tonight but I'd rather forget all about Christmas this year. I guess I should be glad they waited until December. 

And there were some festive anchors... bah humbug.

----------


## baldrick

> and if these guys have work I may as well keep earning


yes - an old bloke gave me the advice years ago - ride the job to the end as you never know how long it will be until the next

and keep on your toes with social distancing and hand hygiene

----------


## Saint Willy

Chin Up mate! 

You'll just have to figure out how to have an online Xmas.

----------


## helge

> Thai-Cubes.


They are not too bad.

4 or such different types

----------


## baldrick

just pretend you are on the indian roster - 1 on , 2 off

1 year on , 2 weeks off

----------


## Dillinger

> I'm starting to consider the possibility of a lonely Swedish Christmas... I can't risk taking Covid back to my mum in the UK and if these guys have work I may as well keep earning


Pull yourself together, you  work loving fukkin scratcher and see Xmas and New Year in with a family member thats not a mushy pea, you wanker :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> I lay out the stuff I need for a work trip on the sofa for my wife to pack. She seems to think that because she's female, that make her a better folder and packer (complete nonsense of course but being the ever considerate husband I let her get on with it)


Funny stuff. Long before I met my wife I traveled a lot for work. I never went without, always had what I needed and learned many tricks to packing business attire to avoid having to iron them but really didn't care as it was a business trip and if all else fails call house keeping and have them iron it for me as the company pays. 

Later after I got married my wife all of sudden just "Took Over" the packing of things anywhere we traveled. When I said I will pack my own shit that did not go over to well for some reason. Apparently all the years prior to meeting her I had been doing it all wrong.... :smiley laughing: 

Now its lay it all out and she will, with tendering loving care, pack it for me.

----------


## Headworx

> Now its lay it all out and she will, with tendering loving care, pack it for me.


Exactly the same, apparently men don't know how to pack bags despite doing it successfully for their entire lives  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 
Then there's the clucking of the tongue after getting back from work too, as men don't know how to unpack either by all reports.

----------


## Headworx

> I can't risk taking Covid back to my mum in the UK


I'm sure you're following the news Mandip, it looks like vaccinations of the most vulnerable will begin in the UK next week. Perhaps there's a chance your Mum could be vaccinated before Christmas?

----------


## PAG

I agree with Willy on this one, stay put and milk the work for all that it's worth.   I, as I'm sure you have, have spent many festive periods working, either offshore or onshore.   Offshore is always a write off, though onshore in more normal times can be good with parties etc (making sure you're still getting the day rate of course).   My last three years working, each Christmas/New Year I was in Luanda, Angola (warm/hot), and the year before those in Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk, Far Eastern Russia (freezing).   I'm sure there will be others in a similar situation to yourself so find out what social activities are taking place, and don't stint on treating yourself.

----------


## Stumpy

> Then there's the clucking of the tongue after getting back from work too, as men don't know how to unpack either by all reports


OH Yeah. She opens up my suitcase and says "What's this, why didn't you put that in a hotel dirty clothes bag" then the "Did you wear this?" Its a complicated return process. I used to just pour it all out and toss in the dirty clothes.

----------


## Stumpy

> it's been way too much work and I'm starting to feel a bit ragged, and it's not a nice feeling just now to be considering working through the festive season. A pretty shit feeling in fact.


I feel ya Mendip. These are not ideal times. Its not like you can just grab a flight and go home. The entire process is complicated now. I was recently asked to fly to our other factory in Malaysia. I said "No can do". The path back home is likely twice as long as the trip to go assess the issues and I would have zero patience to be stuck in a hotel for 14 days, eating Bento box food watching crap TV. 

Strange world indeed. Hang in there buddy. As most know, Holiday time is silly time and many get depressed and stressed out. Never understood it but I know many that have been seriously impacted by it. Find a few activities. Taking up running naked in the park. That will get you some needed exercise and you will meet some new friends..... :rofl:

----------


## David48atTD

*Mendip* ... stay safe out there.  Sweden Covid-19 cases are skyrocketing (Grey line in the middle).




... and FFS, buy some socks!

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, Covid is definitely on the up in Sweden. I spoke to my manager yesterday who had made a rare trip into the office... and she says that people are starting to get very worried. The Swedish authorities don't make rules about Covid, they just offer advice... and make the pubs shut at 10pm. It's not working and personally I think they need a rethink.

And my sock situation is OK. To be honest in these cold climates you don't have to worry so much about personal hygiene and a pair of socks will easily last for two days... even three is no problem with an empty office to work in.

And as for packing... I often wonder how I survived all those years fending for myself.




> Pull yourself together, you  work loving fukkin scratcher ... ... you wanker


I'm not a work lover mate!

And thanks for the Christmas song! I thought of you today by the way... once I eventually managed to get on the Debenhams website to do my Christmas shopping on their closing down sale...

This is the sort of thing you northerners would like?

----------


## Mendip

There's no escaping Christmas here...

Even the ferries have gone festive.

The _Stena Jutlandica_ on her way in from Frederikshavn this morning.



My rough plan now is to work through to middle of January or so... if there is enough work. This may get taken out of my hands if the work dries up, but if they want to keep me busy I'm up for it. Going back to the UK doesn't seem worth it... North Somerset is in Tier 3 and the thought of isolating in a hotel room before spending a few days over Christmas with my mum isn't very appealing. One of my sisters has two kids returning from Uni over Christmas and the other is a peripatetic violin teacher and every one of the schools she teaches at has had Covid outbreaks. Neither will be visiting my mum over Christmas and we're all in pretty much agreement that with a vaccine for the over 80s just around the corner now to forget about Christmas this year and not take the risk.

But, all subject to change of course.

I had a disastrous day at work today...



I'm now down to my last box of Yorkshire tea but it should see me through to the end. And let's face it, doing another month or so here is an awful lot easier than travelling for a month's offshore work from Korat sometime next year, with taxis, buses, long haul flights etc etc, not to mention stopovers in Bangkok. I'm in the routine now... I'll just carry on.

I can spend January/February in the UK, renew my Non O visa and organise travel back to Thailand, all of which can be done via the internet, by which time there will hopefully be a reduced quarantine time?

It's good to have a plan!



And yes, I'm aware of the mirror... and noted... before I take JP's advice and go running naked in the park later!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Funny stuff. Long before I met my wife I traveled a lot for work. I never went without, always had what I needed and learned many tricks to packing business attire to avoid having to iron them but really didn't care as it was a business trip and if all else fails call house keeping and have them iron it for me as the company pays. 
> 
> Later after I got married my wife all of sudden just "Took Over" the packing of things anywhere we traveled. When I said I will pack my own shit that did not go over to well for some reason. Apparently all the years prior to meeting her I had been doing it all wrong....
> 
> Now its lay it all out and she will, with tendering loving care, pack it for me.


I no longer even need to lay it out. She chooses what I will need to wear. And tbf she get's it right. (or even better than I would)

----------


## OhOh

> I'm in the routine now... I'll just carry on.


You have skills in demand worldwide and a professional attitude to your employers and their employees.

There are many whose boat has been sunk and are really struggling.

Keep busy and well over Christmas and beyond.

----------


## OhOh

A standup comedian from Iceland which you may enjoy.



"In this English-language special, Icelandic comedian Ari Eldjárn pokes  fun at Nordic rivalries, Hollywood's take on Thor, the whims of toddlers  and more."

Download Pardon My Icelandic 2020 Multisub 720p x265-StB Torrent | 1337x

----------


## Looper

Australia thanks you Mendip for standing (or staggering) in defence of wonderful western liberal democracy, upon which may the sun never set, by guzzling our lovely shiraz by the box



 :Thankyou:

----------


## Mendip

^ No problem Looper, it is a pleasure to help out... although I think I'll be going back to the French wine next (despite the problems their bladdy fishermen are causing us just now).


It's now looking like I'll be here until January and there really is no escaping Christmas. I may have to give in and get meself a santa hat.

----------


## Saint Willy

I doubt your missus would have packed that for a. Summer trip. I hope your daughter and her are getting on ok?

----------


## hallelujah

> ^ No problem Looper, it is a pleasure to help out... although I think I'll be going back to the French wine next (despite the problems their bladdy fishermen are causing us just now).
> 
> 
> It's now looking like I'll be here until January and there really is no escaping Christmas. I may have to give in and get meself a santa hat.


On the plus side, there's a fair chance you may see snow this Christmas.

On my only ever visit to Gothenburg it got gradually colder each day until I felt like I was about to become an icicle. And that was in November!

----------


## Dillinger

> Neither will be visiting my mum over Christmas and we're all in pretty much agreement that with a vaccine for the over 80s just around the corner now to forget about Christmas this year and not take the risk.
> 
> But, all subject to change of course.


I thought they were handing out the vaccine next week?

You should be around family at Chrimbo mate, not lapping up Benny and Bjorn's meatballs.












> On the plus side, there's a fair chance you may see snow this Christmas.




I might well be making a snowmendip today,with a  holey jumper and socks, with peas for teeth and swedish meatballs for  eyes, pulling on a Chantenay carrot  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> I doubt your missus would have packed that for a. Summer trip. I hope your daughter and her are getting on ok?


No, she forgot my santa hat... and my Christmas shirt. I knew I should have packed myself. 

But they are doing fine thanks KW. Skype makes things easier, but I think my daughter is getting tired of me calling her as it disturbs her Roblox. She threatened to block me, the little bugger.





> On the plus side, there's a fair chance you may see snow this Christmas.
> 
> On my only ever visit to Gothenburg it got gradually colder each day until I felt like I was about to become an icicle. And that was in November!


Aah thanks Hal, that makes me feel better. See, there's always a positive!





> I might well be making a snowmendip today, with a  holey jumper and socks, with peas for teeth and swedish meatballs for  eyes, pulling on a Chantenay carrot


What a wonderful gesture, I've never had anyone make a snowman of me before!

But hang on... ain't Chantenays those tiny little carrots? Give it a courgette at least!

----------


## lom

> It's now looking like I'll be here until January and there really is no escaping Christmas. I may have to give in and get meself a santa hat.


So to get a bit of christmas feeling I suggest you try some seasonal specialties:

Rödvinsglögg is red wine with christmas herbs (cinnamon, cloves, ginger, cardamom seeds, orange peel) you can buy it on Systembolaget. Make sure you buy starkvinsglögg (the alcohol % is important)
Should be served hot in a coffe glass where you also add in raisins and almonds (boiled in order to soften them up and get the skin off).



Snacks to be served with the glögg is pepparkaka (pepper cookie) looks like this


or like this in your ICA shop





Swedish christmas buffet:



Various kinds of herring (pickled herring, onion pickled herring, mustard herring, garlic herring, tomato herring ) smoked salmon, collared brawn, head cheese/fromage, meatballs, small sausages, homemade sausages , christmas ham, smoked pork belly, spare ribs, Jansons temptation,  beetroot sallad, seafood sallad and various kinds of bread to mention some of it.

I checked a few restaurants, they don't serve it as buffet this year but instead serve you at your table, I would choose Fiskekrogen (not far from The British Shop)  695 or 895 SEK.  Yes I know but there's only christmas once a year.
Some restaurants have home delivery for the lonely souls but then you are not able to eat as much as you want..

----------


## Mandaloopy

Stay strong, sounds like you have it sorted. Beer and good food. TD zoom based Christmas drinks meetup?  :Friday: 
Despite a lockdown pics of crowded stores are doing the rounds on Mongolian FB news sites. Apparently a cracking deal on apples is well worth a dose of Rona. Lawdy.

----------


## katie23

^ a virtual pub? Sounds good! I might even join, depending on the schedule. I won't be on cam, but I can be in the chat-box. I've seen it done in some YT live streams. Someone would have to be the "host" and send the link/ URL though.

There's a news article which came out here in PI that the country will still be in some form of quarantine next year. I understand the virus, the risks, the possible hyper immune response, the long covid. But yeah, oh lawdy. I'm tired of the pandemic. Cheers all!

Edit: link
Philippines likely to remain under quarantine until end-2021 —NEDA

----------


## aging one

> TD zoom based Christmas drinks meetup?


In the new normal that does not sound bad at all mate.

----------


## hallelujah

> I might well be making a snowmendip today,with a  holey jumper and socks, with peas for teeth and swedish meatballs for  eyes, pulling on a Chantenay carrot


Latest odds in from Ladbrokes:

All that stuff ending up on the snowman: 10/1
All that stuff ending  in Dil's belly: 1/10

----------


## Saint Willy

> So to get a bit of christmas feeling I suggest you try some seasonal specialties:
> 
> Rödvinsglögg is red wine with christmas herbs (cinnamon, cloves, ginger, cardamom seeds, orange peel) you can buy it on Systembolaget. Make sure you buy starkvinsglögg (the alcohol % is important)
> Should be served hot in a coffe glass where you also add in raisins and almonds (boiled in order to soften them up and get the skin off).
> 
> 
> 
> Snacks to be served with the glögg is pepparkaka (pepper cookie) looks like this
> 
> ...


That' just mulled wine, aint it?

----------


## Mendip

^^ He's welcome to eat my sweaty socks but I don't want him munching on my Chantenay carrot!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> So to get a bit of christmas feeling I suggest you try some seasonal specialties:
> 
> Rödvinsglögg is red wine with christmas herbs (cinnamon, cloves, ginger, cardamom seeds, orange peel) you can buy it on Systembolaget. Make sure you buy starkvinsglögg (the alcohol % is important)
> Should be served hot in a coffe glass where you also add in raisins and almonds (boiled in order to soften them up and get the skin off).
> 
> Swedish christmas buffet:
> Various kinds of herring (pickled herring, onion pickled herring, mustard herring, garlic herring, tomato herring ) smoked salmon, collared brawn, head cheese/fromage, meatballs, small sausages, homemade sausages , christmas ham, smoked pork belly, spare ribs, Jansons temptation,  beetroot sallad, seafood sallad and various kinds of bread to mention some of it.


Thanks again Lom!

I was going to ban all mention of Christmas on this thread but instead I've decided to go for it and have as good a Christmas as possible. Today I'm ordering some Bluetooth speakers so I can play Christmas songs from Spotify!

I have a Systembologet run to make next week so will also pick up some of this Rödvinsglögg stuff along with my French red wine and cider, and maybe even a bottle of malt. I won't be adding any raisins mind, cos I can't stand 'em.

I'm thinking of buying a chicken for Christmas Day and having a proper UK style mini Christmas late lunch... then I can get into work in the morning and justify my day rate!  :Smile: 

Maybe I should also try a Swedish style meal as well... would seem like the right thing to do.

Lom, in Norway, Christmas Day is on the 24th, is that the same in Sweden? How about the shops (ICA), do they stay open through the festive season?

----------


## ootai

> I was going to ban all mention of Christmas on this thread but instead I've decided to go for it and have as good a Christmas as possible. 
> 
> I'm thinking of buying a chicken for Christmas Day



Mendip
Do something special for yourself and instead of chicken for Christmas day order in a Hooker and get yourself laid!!!

The magnificent feeling might not last long but it would be worth it.

And remember to do it before you consume all that wine.

----------


## Dillinger

Theres no way  in hell that  Kee Nok, overtime  scratching,  Worzel tightwad is paying for a  Swedish brass on Christmas Day. :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Theres no way  in hell that  Kee Nok, overtime  scratching,  Worzel tightwad is paying for a  Swedish brass on Christmas Day.


Not s chaaaaance the brass would be Swedish. By getting your beef curtains, you'd most likely be doing your bit for a few kids behind the iron curtain though.  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Lom, in Norway, Christmas Day is on the 24th, is that the same in Sweden? How about the shops (ICA), do they stay open through the festive season?


24th is xmas eve all over the world afaik and 25th is xmas day, so also in Sweden.
We celebrate on the 24th with Disney clips on TV 3pm, afterwards we eat and later is the xmas gift opening.
The 23rd is a normal working day, in some companies it is a half working day but shops are open until late in the evening for those who are late with their xmas gift shopping.
The 25th is xmas lunch and then out in the city for the big sales shopping frenzy between xmas and new year which always starts on the 25th. Bargains on socks can be had during this period...

The facebook poage of ICA Nära, Nya Varvet says that it is open all days 7-22 except for xmas eve (7-14) and xmas day (10-22).

----------


## Saint Willy

Vote 1 for Swedish Brass.

but get some new socks first

----------


## Looper

Top thrifty tip Mendip - save money on the yuletide brass and double up on the home delivery turkey...



Once you have reamed out the sage and onion with your tentacle-tongue you can give it a proper stuffing with your chantenay

Use a condom and she is still good to go for a main course 

 :Smile: 

If you do push the boat out and splash for the cosher swedish lover-lady on the big day then keep it strictly business and don't try and make any friendly smalltalk or pleasant pre-amble as the swedes consider this to be a tad impolite apparently, so I was reading on the BBC today...

BBC - Travel - Why Swedes don’t speak to strangers

----------


## Mendip

I don't know how this family thread has got onto the subject of prostitution in Sweden...

... but Hal's correct, I would almost certainly have to go Eastern European... which I'm not of course.


And yes Dill, I would need a bit more overtime to go Swedish!  :Smile: 

Which I'm not.





> Vote 1 for Swedish Brass.
> 
> but get some new socks first


The socks aren't a problem... I always take them off to do the deed... which I'm not so I can leave them on.

KW, you're mistaking me for a northerner again. They probably leave their flat cap on as well!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Top thrifty tip Mendip - save money on the yuletide brass and double up on the home delivery turkey...
> 
> Once you have reamed out the sage and onion with your tentacle-tongue you can give it a proper stuffing with your chantenay
> 
> Use a condom and she is still good to go for a main course 
> 
> 
> 
> If you do push the boat out and splash for the cosher swedish lover-lady on the big day then keep it strictly business and don't try and make any friendly smalltalk or pleasant pre-amble as the swedes consider this to be a tad impolite apparently, so I was reading on the BBC today...
> ...



^^ Dear God... what's happening to this thread?

But I do still have a box of 10 Profils... so food for thought!

Yeah, I read that too. 

Explains why I seem to get blanked so often... I used to say 'Good morning' to the prettier joggers on my way to work in the morning but they all completely ignored me.

----------


## helge

> ch red wine and cider, and maybe even a bottle of malt. I won't be adding any raisins mind, cos I can't stand 'em.


You sound like a a man

Add vodka or snaps instead

Won't leave "crumps" in your bed



> Lom, in Norway, Christmas Day is on the 24th, is that the same in Sweden?


Christmas Eve's day

Evening of presents and dancing round the tree

Most civiliced places does it like that

1. Christmas day is for sleeping , hangover, drinking and eating again

2. Christmas day       repeat



Edit:

I see that Lom answered you already with his swedish cultural imperialisme   :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Christmas Eve's day
> 
> Evening of presents and dancing round the tree
> 
> Most civiliced places does it like that
> 
> 1. Christmas day is for sleeping , hangover, drinking and eating again
> 
> 2. Christmas day       repeat


That's what Boxing Day is for, you weirdos.  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Boxing Day


We are more peaceful,you Norman Pig  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> That's what Boxing Day is for, you weirdos.


 :Bsflag: 

Boxing day is the greatest day on the Test cricket calendar.

----------


## Saint Willy

> The socks aren't a problem... I always take them off to do the deed... which I'm not so I can leave them on.!


Yes, but ripping them off, throwing them onto the wall where they stick may not impress her much.

----------


## lom

> I have a Systembologet run to make next week so will also pick up some of this Rödvinsglögg


*White christmas cherry treat*

No: 90263.

Price: SEK 85/750 ml.

Alcohol content: 12.5 percent.

Verdict: Smells and tastes of spicy classic mulled wine, but with nice sweetness from cherries. This one is good! For anyone who likes classic mulled wine with an exciting twist.

----------


## hallelujah

> Boxing day is the greatest day on the Test cricket calendar.


Precisely. Waking up late and getting drunk while watching sport at home, at the ground or in the pub with your mates. Proper football - the English one that doesn't involve throwing an egg - starts no earlier than midday.

The difference is that Boxing Day always has a party on at the end of the night.

The best day of the holiday.

----------


## lom

^




> That' just mulled wine, aint it?


yes and I learned a new English word  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

*Mendip*, as a (cyber) Mate ... permission to be brutally honest?

----------


## Mendip

^ Go for it David, I'm intrigued...

But just so you know, I'm not buying any more socks!  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

^I'm worried he's going to ask about the patina/holes in your y-fronts, after the sock debacle it's probably best we don't go there  :Sad:

----------


## Saint Willy

Holey Y-fronts? 

holy heck!

----------


## Mendip

Let's change the subject, hey?  :Smile: 


I love a nice pear... or _päron_, as we call 'em over here.




I used to work with a guy who claimed that he moved to Thailand due to his love of Thai food. It made change from a fascination for Thai temples, but also seemed a bit odd. I mean, I love an Indian but I ain't gonna move to Mumbai!

Well, I could have saved that guy the cost of a long haul flight... Thai Cubes.

My Panang Curry Chicken the other night was a solid 9 out of 10. 

Tonight's Sweet Chilli Chicken Teriyaki wasn't quite as good, but still a worthy 8 out of 10. 

And all it takes is 6 minutes, and no washing up if you eat it out the box. I'm trying to maintain standards so as not to let my mental state slip any further... so I have a plate and fork to wash up.

And Dill, it only cost 30 Krona!

----------


## Saint Willy

Looks like a bargain.

----------


## lom

> it only cost 30 Krona!


the plural of krona is kronor
(glad to be of help with your transformation into a Swede!)  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Languages aren't my strong point Lom, but duly noted... thanks! My life's ambition has always been to transform into a Swede.  :Smile: 

And by the way, you're costing me a bladdy fortune... I spent plenty of kronOR today on your recommendations!

After a pretty shitty day I needed to clear my head with a walk, so did my Christmas shopping early at the Systembologet. 



The Christmas _vinglögg_ and whisky can wait until the season, but I may well open up the French wine at the weekend!

----------


## helge

> My life's ambition has always been to transform into a Swede.


 :finger: 




That's what I would call a Stockholm Syndrome

Bye :St George:

----------


## Stumpy

Mendip. Man you seem to like those fruity alcohol beverages. Cherry wine, pear beer. Please don't tell me you drink Bacardi Breezer things.  You missing the local Lao Khao or Ya Dong yet?   :rofl: 

I know I miss those pictures at your rock table with the dogs all laying around and a mug of Leo and a shot glass of that special Thai concoction next to it.

----------


## Mendip

^ Not half as much as I miss taking those pictures JP. How I miss having a glass of Leo in one hand while ruffling a dog's ears with the other. I sometimes dream about petting one of the dog's heads... in my memory I can feel the difference between each of our five dogs' heads and fur. Dan has really soft fur, while Coco has short, velvety fur...  I do miss them.

You've got me reminiscing now... this'll be a long day...




And as for fruity beverages... I'm really just a Leo and Ya Dong kind of guy but have been trying these Swedish concoctions just for the thread. And at Christmas ya have to try the local seasonal drinks. I've always been lucky in that I can drink just about anything.


But the reason I had a shitty day yesterday wasn't due to reminiscing about my girls... I'm starting to plan my return home early next year and had it all mapped out in my head. My Non O visa expires in Feb, so first up, to renew that incase the procedure to get the CoE etc (which I plan to start from the UK in January) takes a long time. 

My first plan was to send off my second passport to the Thai embassy in London, having submitted all the paperwork online, to renew my multiple entry Non O based on marriage. I found out yesterday that they only do a single entry these days, which is useless to me. I've always renewed my Non O multiple entry at the Thai embassy in Singapore each year, no problem, so why on earth the Thai embassy in London doesn't do it I don't know. This mightily pissed me off.

A single entry is useless since I usually return to Thailand on single, company paid flights having come directly from a boat or office. I can't be trying to organise a visa each time. The only multiple entry visa on offer seems to be the OA retirement... that requires a police clearance certificate, medical, etc, all of which can be overcome but not until I get back to the UK, further delaying things.

I've never gone down the route of in country visa extensions since I never stay more than 90 days at a time with work, and in 14 years this has never been an issue. The Non O multiple entry based on marriage has been perfect for me. 

I worry about going the retirement visa route, with immigration reporting, keeping seasoned money in a Thai bank account, etc etc mainly since I can never guarantee being in country for the extensions, and the hassle of arranging re-entry permits with such an unpredictable pattern of travel. Sometimes I may get a day's notice before I leave, and I need to be able to re-enter on single flights. Maybe I need to look into this more? Am I being overly negative about a retirement visa with extensions for someone in my position? I don't t think it would be for me.

I'm even considering the Elite visa... but every fibre on my body repels against paying 500,000 Baht to live in a place where I don't particularly want to be. But of course, as anyone who has read my threads will know it's all about my daughter. The day I desert her is the day her future ends, so that will not happen.

In my circumstances is 500,000 Baht such a bad deal for five years of hassle free travel? I don't suppose I get much change out of 1000 quid a time for my visa runs to Singapore, what with flights, hotels, visa and other sundry expenses. Orchard Road seems to empty my wallet pretty quickly these days. Covid of course controls everything... who's to say when it will again be possible to just jump on a flight to SIN to renew a visa without issues on arrival, or on return to Thailand? Next year? 2022?

Any advice would be very gratefully received?

----------


## Saint Willy

> In my circumstances is 500,000 Baht such a bad deal for five years of hassle free travel? I don't suppose I get much change out of 1000 quid a time for my visa runs to Singapore, what with flights, hotels, visa and other sundry expenses. Orchard Road seems to empty my wallet pretty quickly these days. Covid of course controls everything... who's to say when it will again be possible to just jump on a flight to SIN to renew a visa without issues on arrival, or on return to Thailand? Next year? 2022?


that may well be a good solution.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I don't suppose I get much change out of 1000 quid a time for my visa runs to Singapore, what with flights, hotels, visa and other sundry expenses. Orchard Road seems to empty my wallet pretty quickly these days.


But if you get the elite visa does that mean you do not have an excuse to go to Singapore? #notidealeither

----------


## Shutree

My earlier enquiry on TD about an Elite visa was swiftly poo pooed by everyone, who doesn't have one. It still seems to me that the difference between keeping 800K in the bank permanently and me giving away 1,000K for the mid-sized Elite visa is marginal, cash wise.
Then the Baht 1M Elite visa gives you 5 years, multiole entry, renewable up to a total of 20 years.
Those 20 years will probably be more than sufficient for me and I shan't miss the cash when I am gone. 
I am still thinking about it.

----------


## Shutree

Multiole entry?
I must remember that one.

----------


## Joe 90

> But of course, as anyone who has read my threads will know it's all about my daughter. The day I desert her is the day her future ends, so that will not happen.


I agree, it's all about your children.
That's why I chose to settle in the UK instead of Thailand.
Couldn't imagine bringing up kids there, although many on here have done successfully. 
Most of the time I've done it as a single parent which is challenging but highly rewarding.
If the relationship with your daughters mother is truly on the ropes then might you consider living back in  Perth or England.
Just a thought...

----------


## Headworx

Pretty sure if you come in on _any_ visa you can have it changed to a multi entry Retirement. PM me if you want the details of someone who would definitely know the score on this and has an agency with local contacts that makes things happen seamlessly, I've used him for the best part of 20 years and aren't paying him for a service but for a result. Could probably do it all by post or heaven forbid Playa, you might need to spend a night in Pattata getting an OGUK  :Naughty:   The whole 800k seasoning thing is nothing to worry about, I have the money in a local bank but my agent says it doesn't matter either way. The 90 day reporting is a breeze, I believe you need to do the first one in person (but aren't sure) but _am_ sure that doing them online after that is a 5 minute affair.

Just to add, the Elite visa jumps from 500k to 600k a year starting early next year.

----------


## OhOh

> I've never gone down the route of in country visa extensions since I never stay more than 90 days at a time with work, and in 14 years this has never been an issue. The Non O multiple entry based on marriage has been perfect for me.


Obtaining a "Thai wife" annual permission to to stay extension prior to your current non-O visa expiring, appears to be  suitable route for you. I believe 90 day reports are required and  re-entry permits need to be purchased, Contact your local TIO and ask them for their printed requirements handouts.

 The financial requirements are :  

1. THB 400,000 in you Thai bank for 2 months, prior to applying and it must remain untouched for the subsequent month, until head office OK's your application. Once you have received your full year stamp i.e after 3 months from applying, you may if you wish, spend it all.

OR

2. An average income of THB 40,000 per month, (THB 480,000 per year), into your Thai bank acount. If from foreign income it must be posted as a foreign deposit, Bangkok Bank identifies such receipts as "FTT".

But check with your local TIO. Or ask your wife to get the requirements.

Prior to the UK Embassy stopped issuing income certificates that was my method. One could also include ones Thai bank current amount, but it's been a few years ago so I'm not sure if the combined method, income plus current balance, is still available.

The retirement route requires more deposited monies, requires a % to be retained in the account for the full year and the monthly income route is a minimum not the annual monthly average as in the "Thai wife" one. 

Along with a health insurance policy with a Thai insurer, I believe.

There is also the Thai Child route, one has to be registered as the father though. Having no Thai children it is not available for me.

----------


## ootai

> I worry about going the retirement visa route, with immigration reporting, keeping seasoned money in a Thai bank account, etc etc mainly since I can never guarantee being in country for the extensions, and the hassle of arranging re-entry permits with such an unpredictable pattern of travel. Sometimes I may get a day's notice before I leave, and I need to be able to re-enter on single flights. Maybe I need to look into this more? Am I being overly negative about a retirement visa with extensions for someone in my position? I don't t think it would be for me.


Mendip
As I have never had a retirement Visa I am really not sure what is required but as for re-entry permit/s that is easy. If and when you get your Visa issued or when you get your extension renewed you can just purchase a "multiple re-entry permit" that same day at the Immigration Office.  I believe to buy a single re entry permit is B1900 and a multiple re-entry permit B3000. That way you would never need to worry about not having one should you have to leave on short notice.  The other alternative is to get one at the Airport before you depart as I believe that that is possible.

If you decided to go the Married Visa route I would make sure your wife is going to be cooperative as she will need to be involved and sign some of the paperwork.

As other have suggested moving your base (and your family) to either the UK or Perth might not be any easy to enter and exit than Thailand is.

Have you continued to investigate if there are any companies that would employ you to work from home?  I realise that the work you would do while on a boat is probably not possible to do from home but just about everything else is.

Make sure you continue to work on ways to get back to Korat to see everyone as it will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train.

Cheers

----------


## Mendip

Thanks for all the advice guys.

Joe, Australia's not an option. My wife and daughter have Aussie and Thai passports, but I only have a UK one. I really don't fancy jumping through Australian immigration hoops, besides the expense of setting up a home there. My work is established in Europe now, and after a few years spent commuting between Perth and Norway I don't fancy going back to that. Just one point, I have no problem with education my daughter's getting, that's for sure and I think that she'll naturally want to further that in the West. She is much more Western in her outlook than Thai.

My wife may be open to moving to the UK, but it certainly wouldn't be easy. It's not really fair to dump someone in a place where they know no-one and then disappear offshore for a couple of months. I think I could find that more stressful than having the family in Korat. Yeah... lots to think about... 

I don't really want this thread to go in the direction of my relationship with my wife, although I appreciate that it's my fault as I've probably made some disparaging remarks. Suffice to say that we're probably through the honeymoon period... most of our problems arise through a completely different view of what parenting's about... some of this is no doubt cultural and from coming from completely different backgrounds. My parents were tireless in encouraging me to try different things and in exposing me to new experiences which is something I try to pass on to my daughter. Enough said.

But certainly ootai my wife will be more than cooperative if (when) I decide to go down the Married Visa route. I'll get her to go down to Korat immigration soon and get their printed instructions.

After my initial despondency I've been doing some thinking... Do I really want to spend 15k Sterling on a visa when I don't have to? No, of course not.

I checked my passport and my Non O is valid to 19th February. I'm booked here in Sweden to 11th January. That five weeks leaves plenty of time (I hope) to get back to the UK and organise travel to Thailand. I can fly out middle of Feb and be in Korat by beginning of March after quarantine.

OhOh, after your experiences with the Thai Embassy in London, does that time frame sound realistic? 

Once in country I plan to initiate the extension through marriage and buy a bunch of re-entry permits. OhOh mentions 400,000 Baht in a bank account plus some other stuff but I'm going to start looking into it. I know there's a myriad of information about this on various sites, but if someone knows of a good link to definitive instructions that would be much appreciated (and yeah, I'm just being lazy).

But who knows, maybe by the middle of May things will have opened up and I'd be able to make a trip to Singapore and renew my Non O? You can but hope.

----------


## PAG

^

The attached is the current requirements of Phuket Immigration Office for an extension based on Marriage.   Although, as we all know, differing IO's can have variations of what's required, Phuket has the reputation of being straight up.

Marriage (M) – Phuket Immigration Volunteers

So, applying for a 60 day non O whilst in the UK, on the basis of visiting family.   Think you'll need to have copies of your marriage certificate and wife's ID card (your daughter's would also be useful, Thai passport if she doesn't have one yet).

The banked monies need to be in a your name only account (joint AC not accepted).   I guess that the quarantine requirement will still be in force when you do eventually travel, plus the Covid specific insurance and less than 72 hour negative Covid test certificate.

----------


## aging one

Mendip mate,

Just get the 3800 baht reentry permit. Its multiple use with no restrictions on how many. One and done.

The current fees for re-entry permits are as follows:

1,000 Baht for single3,800 Baht for multiple

----------


## Mendip

I think it's fair to say that I've put back all the weight I lost during my 8 weeks offshore back in August and September. There's no scales here, but I can feel it and it's not so easy getting my socks on in the morning (and they may have holes Snubby but they ain't smelly!).

All in all, what with working long hours, lack of exercise, putting on weight and starting to miss home I've been feeling generally shitty, so I decided to try and improve things.

I discovered that there's another of those Concept2 rowing machines in the warehouse under the offices, and what with everyone working at home with Covid it wasn't getting used. I get no access to the warehouse so persuaded the store man to put it in the changing rooms I can access until the New Year, and lately have been doing 20 minutes after work every day. I do about 4.5km at the moment but should bring it up.



I also see no daylight at all... I walk into work in the dark and walk back to my shitty student digs on the dark. So, I've started eating out at lunchtime, thus seeing daylight and also eating at midday rather than in the evening.

I've also started taking Vitamin D which I hope makes up for the lack of sunlight to ward off this SAD thingy... there's a lot of suicides in Scandinavia during the dark winter months and I can see why.



Amazing, just a few days of this new routine has made a huge difference. I think that another five weeks will be no problem!

----------


## Mendip

> ^
> 
> The attached is the current requirements of Phuket Immigration Office for an extension based on Marriage.   Although, as we all know, differing IO's can have variations of what's required, Phuket has the reputation of being straight up.
> 
> Marriage (M) – Phuket Immigration Volunteers
> 
> So, applying for a 60 day non O whilst in the UK, on the basis of visiting family.   Think you'll need to have copies of your marriage certificate and wife's ID card (your daughter's would also be useful, Thai passport if she doesn't have one yet).
> 
> The banked monies need to be in a your name only account (joint AC not accepted).   I guess that the quarantine requirement will still be in force when you do eventually travel, plus the Covid specific insurance and less than 72 hour negative Covid test certificate.


That's perfect PAG, thanks very much.

My plan is to return to Thailand on my current Non O which expires 19th February, so I won't need to apply for the Non O in the UK. But all the info in that link for the extension is perfect. I have an email from the Thai embassy in London detailing the requirements for organising travel, but they don't give time frames. I'm hoping to initiate all that from here via emails and tailor it to travel mid February.






> Mendip mate,
> 
> Just get the 3800 baht reentry permit. Its multiple use with no restrictions on how many. One and done.
> 
> The current fees for re-entry permits are as follows:
> 
> 1,000 Baht for single3,800 Baht for multiple


I've always resisted going down the extension based on marriage route because for some reason I thought it was a nightmare if you're travelling back and forth all the time. All this is starting to look very doable!

Many thanks AO!

----------


## PAG

^

I often read that some think the additional paperwork for Marriage extensions too onorous.   I don't find it so, and keep scanned copies of everything on my PC so it's a simple case of printing them off each year.   The exception of course is the Kor Ror 2 which has to be dated within 3 months of the application.

----------


## lom

> So, I've started eating out at lunchtime, thus seeing daylight and also eating at midday rather than in the evening.


When reading that I thought I should remind you of restaurant Silverkällan that I mentioned some month ago.
It was a hidden pearl with very good Swedish traditional home cooking dishes when I lived in Gothenburg so I googled for a menu to see what kind of food they serve nowadays.

Time changes and so does restaurant owners, the current one is apparently not living up to the restaurants previous reputation.
There was one customer comment:
"There is no lunch buffet anymore. The whole place smells of cigs and winos. 
No hello or anything at all when you wanted to order at the bar. Crap service! Had beef in curry. Tasted old. Ate a few bites, the rest left to go. Will never ever go there again."

Sic transit gloria mundi...
Just wanted to let you know in case you take my recommendations seriously..

----------


## grasshopper

Going out from Swampy to Oz I found that there was an immigration office upstairs where you could just attend before the flight and get a multiple entry permit converted from a single entry. 3800 baht I think. Done within minutes as they don't have much going on in that section. Not sure if the current situation has changed it around. Loy Toy put me onto so you can thankhim if it's still available.

This was preparatory to going out of LOS but I think it could still work coming in provided it's office hours I suppose.

----------


## Stumpy

Cheers to you Mendip. I sure hope my comment about the Ya Dong and Leo with the dogs wasn't a negative to you. It was meant to be more of an image that awaits you at the end of the journey home. You know its funny what we as humans will do to ourselves for money. We make it a necessity based on the personal expectations we have established individually. It drives us no doubt but the trade off can be painful.  

As for your comment about Scandinavian people offing themselves, Its a huge problem in Washington State ( Seattle ) area in the US primarily due to the constant gloomy weather that locks in and drags on. Good idea to get out during the day time to see different sights and some natural light. Also what helps to break a rut is change your routine. Sometimes people lock themselves to a daily grind and then it eats them up. When I was on long business trips early in my career when my daughters were young I was always spontaneous each day to keep it stress free. I'd go to a movie, go bowling, go people watching, go to a gun range, stay out all night and call in sick to work for fun.

----------


## Joe 90

^Good ideas.

A power walk at lunchtime,  try to discover a new interesting place in the local area and take a pic.
Getting that hours natural vitamin D is a must.
Btw nice work getting the rowing routine going again.

----------


## Mendip

^ Seems I'm not the only person worried about the lack of Vitamin D! 

I stocked up on some more tonight... saves power walking about in the rain.



This morning our lovely Polish receptionist advised me that every year the Swedish Air Force do a fly over of Gothenburg with the planes configured in the shape of a Christmas tree, and it was to be today at 2pm. Then she fukked off to 'work' from home.

At 1:50 I duly went outside to be ready to take a pic of the fly over down the river through the city.

After freezing my nuts off for 15 minutes I could hear the drone of the  jets... but what our receptionist had neglected to tell me was that they  fly over a different part of the city.



I sent a slightly sarcastic message to her... and you have to be careful using sarcasm on these continentals... and by way of apology she sent me the video she had taken.

It's not the most convincing Christmas tree I've ever seen...

----------


## OhOh

> I checked my passport and my Non O is valid to  *19th February*. I'm booked here in Sweden to 11th January. That five  weeks leaves plenty of time (I hope) to get back to the UK and organise  travel to Thailand. I can fly out middle of Feb and be in Korat by  beginning of March after quarantine.
> 
> OhOh, after your experiences with the Thai Embassy in London, does that time frame sound realistic?


You need to personally, plus wife, apply at your local TIO for the *One Year Extension* prior to the end of the 90 days you will be stamped in for, when you arrive in Bangkok. Before your current Non O visa expires, which you state ends on the *19th February 2021*. 

You have either 10 or 14 days quarantine in Bangkok, a few of days traveling at least - flights Sweden to London and London to BKK plus getting from BKK to Korat, possibly banks to visit in Korat, week-ends and possible TIO holidays .... 

I suggest emailing the UK Embassy for the COE from Sweden and utilise you UK address. Being a UK citizen I believe you must apply at the London Embassy. The embassy delivered all the COE documents back to me via e-mail. I can't remember if a proof of a UK address was required but a UK bank statement or Driving Licence would be fine.

My contact with them was all via email. Their website listed all the requirements for the *Certificate of Entry* which as I was returning to visit my Thai wife was all I needed from them. I'm not sure if your wife's house book info is listed but I included those, her ID card copies, all signed and dated. 

The staff were very helpful and once I had collected all flight, quarantine hotel confirmations and marriage documents together and emailed them to the embassy they returned the certificate within a few days. As I changed date of my flight, they issued the revised COE the next day.

The flights and quarantine hotels are online jobs. Try for a direct flight, any ME stopover countries may have their own travel requirements also flights to BKK may be 100% full of untested Thai citizens. After flights to the UK and to Dubai being 20% full the 100% Dubai to BKK flight was not so good. Ensure your airline offers free re-booking if timescales change. 

Ensure all the info on the COE matches the flight, quarantine hotel info as it is all to match otherwise there may be difficulties at check-in. The quarantine hotels are all listed on Thai websites. Select one that matches your pocket, has a large room, a window/balcony, free wifi and tv. The first week you aren't going out of your door. In addition choose a location that makes your travel home easy. The hotel will organise meeting you at the airport and delivering you to the hotel.

Ensure you carry spare copies of all travel documents, The system at BKK is well organised but queues overlap and are still Thai queues and leaving documents at one of the three or four checking stations is a possibility.




> an extension based on Marriage.


As PEG states it's a 1 year Extention not a new visa.

Ensure your wife is clear that she will be asking for the requirements to apply for a *One Year Extension* of your current *Non O visa*. Presumably based on *being married to a Thai.
*
Remember you need your THB 400,000 lump sum in the bank for two months prior to the date of application and one month after. I would try and put the lump some sooner to allow for any TIO holidays or week end problems.

If you chose the monthly foreign transfers route the *average*, of last years monthly foreign transfers, must exceed THB 40,000. The year finishes the day you apply. In addition 12 months bank statements and a bank letter confirming the statement amounts are required. Bangkok Bank takes 7 days to deliver the required 12 months printout. Check what your bank can do.

Remember to time your virus test to suit the airlines, transit country and Thai requirements accurately. 

Good luck.

----------


## Saint Willy

> After freezing my nuts off for 15 minutes


it’s the middle of winter! And you still have gloves or a hat. Or even a proper jumper or jacket.  ::doglol::

----------


## David48atTD

> our lovely Polish receptionist


Make her YOUR Polish receptionist ... Polish (in the main) rock ...  

Photo please ... of her, not you  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> *Mendip*, as a (cyber) Mate ... permission to be brutally honest?



Mendip replied

^ Go for it David, I'm intrigued...

But just so you know, I'm not buying any more socks!  :Smile: 


SO


David48atTD
I don't know about Mendip but I am still waiting to see what it is you had to ask his permission for.
So what the hell do you want to say to him?

----------


## Mendip

^^

Yes, a nice thought... but she's less than half my age and this continues to be an issue in this part of the world.


^^^^
OhOh, thanks so much, that's fantastic information. I have at least one very difficult hurdle but everything else is possible... I meet all the criteria but just have to get onto it all.


But just as there's light at the end of one tunnel there is of course plenty of other shite going on... it's just one of those years.

On the BBC radio this morning it was announced that Sweden is in the worst state of Covid since the pandemic began. Intensive care beds in Stockholm are 99% occupied and they're becoming very worried indeed.

Some Swedish government guy interviewed was complaining that people still aren't social distancing properly and taking it seriously enough. I really think the time for giving 'strong advice' is over and maybe it's about time the government started to make laws. It seems to me that Sweden is on the brink.

And it doesn't stop there...

I had this email from my accountants yesterday...



_Hello,

Due to Brexit from 1 January 2021, you will need a Residence Permit to work in Norway.  Entry to Norway will be refused without a Permit.
To get a permit, you will need to have the appropriate qualifications and also be paid a market rate.

What we know so far is explained on our website and at the Norwegian immigration service.

As more information becomes available we will let you know.  But time is pressing to get this dealt with.

It appears this might significantly affect the salary and tax you have to pay in Norway from 2021.

Kind regards,_



Each residence permit costs about 600 quid and only lasts the duration of a contract. It takes around 10 weeks to process an application... yet I usually get only a few days notice of a job. As things stand this has effectively ended the possibility of onshore work in Norway for the future. Offshore work on vessels appears to be unaffected, thankfully.

It also seems that post Brexit, UK citizens will be at the back of the queue for work. I'll be allowed to spend no more than 90 days out of every 180 day period working within the Schengen area. I'll be in the same situation as my Russian colleague who has to leave next week because he's used up his day allowance in Schengen. So basically, what I've done this year won't be possible next year. Oh, and also my tax liability in Sweden changes from January 1st... yes, you're very welcome Lom!

How I fukkin despise Cameron, Johnson and their ilk. These thick, monied Etonian wankers who play with peoples livelihoods for their own political gains. It's all a game to these tossers who've never achieved a fukkin useful thing in their entire lives... just lived off daddy's money while shagging and lying their way through life.

Bunch of cnuts, the lot of 'em.

But anyway, if one good thing has come out of Covid, it's made companies much more open to people working from home. Now that I've got established with these guys I'm hoping that will be my way forward and they've already shown interest. I may have just been very lucky with my timing here. Maybe this stupidly long work trip will have future benefits other than the immediate boost to my bank account.

Roll on 2021!

----------


## Dillinger

^ You sound like you'd be a lot of fun at TD's New Years countdown :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

> if one good thing has come out of Covid, it's made companies much more open to people working from home


I'd have thought you'd have about the same chance of working from home as a deep sea diver, rigger or sailor :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Oh, and also my tax liability in Sweden changes from January 1st... yes, you're very welcome Lom!


Every tax krona which can increase my pension is welcome, thank you for your contribution Mendip!

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## Mendip

> ^ You sound like you'd be a lot of fun at TD's New Years countdown


I haven't been invited anywhere yet!


I'm just pissed off today.

Ya know... I moved to Korat 14 years ago to semi-retire and take things easy... 

The b@stard pound has never stopped going down since the day I arrived, the oil industry has had two major downturns and my life has never been more complicated and I've never worked so much.

And now with all the problems around Covid I'd totally forgotten about Brexit.

But the fact that I'll be donating to Lom's pension fund from January 1st has made me feel better!

----------


## helge

> How I fukkin despise Cameron, Johnson and their ilk. These thick, monied Etonian wankers who play with peoples livelihoods for their own political gains. It's all a game to these tossers who've never achieved a fukkin useful thing in their entire lives... just lived off daddy's money while shagging and lying their way through life.
> 
> Bunch of cnuts, the lot of 'em.


First time I seen you....angry  :Smile: 

Let it out; you are not wrong



> Oh, and also my tax liability in Sweden changes from January 1st...


Deductions, my friend  :Smile: 

Double households etc

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## helge

> The b@stard pound has never stopped going down


Let's all 'red' Snakeeyes



> But the fact that I'll be donating to Lom's pension fund from January 1st has made me feel better!


Sacrilege !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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## David48atTD

> Yes, a nice thought... but she's less than half my age


Your point being?

Maybe she's a secretive *pea* fan, searching for a like minded soul.


^ highlighted in green to avoid confusion  :Smile:

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## lom

> highlighted in green to avoid confusion


if that was your intention then you should have checked the spelling instead..
no doubt of what thoughts you had kinky Dave

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## David48atTD

> if that was your intention then you should have checked the spelling instead..
> no doubt of what thoughts you had kinky Dave


opps, thanks for pointing that out (updated now) ... my bad.

I have 6yo boys and anything pee and fart turns them into giggling 2yo's

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## Saint Willy

> but she's less than half my age and this continues to be an issue in this part of the world.


]

Shouldn't that be a bonus, rather than an issue?






> Each residence permit costs about 600 quid and only lasts the duration of a contract. It takes around 10 weeks to process an application... yet I usually get only a few days notice of a job. As things stand this has effectively ended the possibility of onshore work in Norway for the future. Offshore work on vessels appears to be unaffected, thankfully.
> 
> It also seems that post Brexit, UK citizens will be at the back of the queue for work. I'll be allowed to spend no more than 90 days out of every 180 day period working within the Schengen area. I'll be in the same situation as my Russian colleague who has to leave next week because he's used up his day allowance in Schengen. So basically, what I've done this year won't be possible next year. Oh, and also my tax liability in Sweden changes from January 1st... yes, you're very welcome Lom!


Sorry to hear that.

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## OhOh

QUOTE=Mendip;4194622]Due to Brexit from 1 January 2021, you will need a  Residence Permit to work in *Norway*. Entry to Norway will be refused  without a Permit.
To get a permit, you will need to have the appropriate qualifications and also be paid a market rate.

What we know so far is explained on our website and at the *Norwegian* immigration service.[/QUOTE]

But your in *Sweden*, yes?

Your accounts have sent you a Norway specific requirement. 

I would suggest you inspect your contract. 

Speak to your boss either:

1. Double shifts to complete you currently programed tasks prior to Dec. 31st. At an enhanced rate
2. As your work appears to be computer based and meetings, arrange a suitable secure connection and perform your work and attend meetings remotely, from the UK. Again rate enhanced, to cover any UK taxes to cover the unforeseen plus setup/fees. To work within any yet to be announced let alone legislated, Swedish modified requirements

 They have seen your work abilities which they have deemed acceptable. If Sweden goes into lock-down and remote working becomes mandatory, where you sit is irrelevant. Your record on delivery is proven.

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## Mendip

^ In 30 years offshore I've had regular work in Norway... it's always been a great safety net in times of downturn. There's always work in the Norwegian Sector and I have everything set up for that just now.

This is my first ever work in Sweden... not having a North/Norwegian Sea border and no oil and gas industry the Swedes have never been much of a presence in the industry until now. These guys I'm working for are a small outfit trying to break in to the oil and gas side of things, which is what I meant by lucky timing. I may hang my hat here for a bit, especially now Norwegian work seems so difficult post Brexit. 

Even just two weeks from the end of the year no-one knows what will happen, which seems incredible. Maybe I'll need a Schengen visa to work in Sweden and maybe I'll have limited access? All things considered, to work from home will be the best option and if one good thing comes out of Covid for me it will the change that's happening across the industry with a revolution in remote working and the Swedes have embraced it. Offshore work seems unaffected, it's just onshore office work that will be the problem and I plan to set myself up for that at home.

But as for double shifts to the end of the year... I'm doing 11 hours a day as it is!

Working in the UK will also be full of issues also. I'll have to take the hit, if it happens, for the few days I'll be here in Sweden during January, post Brexit. I'm booked until 11 Jan as it is, so not a big problem. 

Happy Christmas Lom!

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## OhOh

> I'm doing 11 hours a day as it is!


How many workdays in January?

Send me your passwords and reference manual. You look at videos for the unexpected right?

I'll sit in for a while. :Smile:

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## Mendip

^ I'll think about it...


And this was always going to be the problem with buying my Christmas booze early...

One shitty day and the whisky is opened.

I've resisted it for nearly a week so am quite proud of meself really, but it doesn't take much.



And the cause of the shitty day? This remote working is all well and good, but....

I have an issue with my project which would normally be sorted out in ten minutes with a few people sat round a table. But no... my project coordinator is sat somewhere in The States, my immediate line manager (there's many levels of management here) is sat in the Caribbean because she 'can't' get a flight back to GOT, two processors are sat in the UK... one in the Reading office, one at home, and the chief cartographer/GIS is sat at home in Gothenburg. My charts are being made by a certain French colleague who is also a fine cartographer/Acad. This problem has gone round and round all day with nothing solved... everyone cherry-picks the bit they want to get involved in and ignores the rest, forgets to copy the original people in an email, and so it goes on. Headless chickens. After a fruitless day I finally got the hump by 5pm and fukked off, did my 20 minutes rowing and then opened my whisky!

I'm paid by the day... it shouldn't matter but my head is fried and I want to get finished now. Early January really is my limit.

My Russian colleague was due to leave on Wednesday because his Schengen allowance is nearly up (a situation us Brits may soon be in after January 1st... but let's not go there right now) and I was hoping he'd get a big segment of the project finished up before then... but can ya bladdy believe his flight back to Russia via Heathrow next week is in jeopardy because the b@stard baggage handlers at LHR are going on strike... so he's off on Sunday instead... bollocks.

On the good side I bought some Bluetooth speakers so we can have some festive music for our Christmas dinner! I bought them on Swedish Amazon, and... this is the weirdest of countries... they got delivered to the local supermarket where I picked them up last night.



Roll on Christmas... roll on New Year, and roll on getting home. I'm really missing it now... they're all waiting for me.

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## Mendip

^ And who noticed that Tommy's got a hard on!  :Smile:

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## Edmond

> deep sea diver


The first rhyming slang I learned (London, I'd guess around 1993)

The 2nd was 'Ayrton Senna.' (a tenner)

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## Mendip

^ Nigel Benn... a ten.

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## Edmond

Yeah, we only wanted to buy some hash off some blokes in an Escort. 


Didn't know we'd end up bilingual.

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## Mendip

My first car was an Escort... Mk I, sky blue and F reg.

Same age as me.

What a heap of shite it was. It was so knackered it couldn't even get up a hill near us without going down to third.

If I wanted to impress the girls I borrowed my Dad's Talbot Solara... that's how bad my Escort was!

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## Saint Willy

> ^ And who noticed that Tommy's got a hard on!


um, no, I didn’t. Euw.

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## ootai

> Roll on Christmas... roll on New Year, and roll on getting home. I'm really missing it now... they're all waiting for me.



Mendip
You do realise that when you eventually get back to Korat things won't be the same after all the time that has elapsed.
Your digs will all bark at you and want to bite you.
Your daughter will be 10cm taller and 10 times more sassy than when you left due to having run amok while you were away.
The gardener will tell you that nothing works so that is why the yard is a mess ready for you to clean up.
And your wife will be like all wives and greet you with, "Where's the money honey?"

You might then want to turn around and escape.

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## lom

> Happy Christmas Lom!


Wish you and your family the same!

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## Mendip

^^ Yeah, but apart from that it'll be great to get back home!


Anyway... FFS...

There's gonna be three people here for Christmas holding the fort. 

My good self, a certain French colleague and an Egyptian guy who seems to have turned up.

Before our North African friend arrived I was planning on a traditional English roast turkey with all the trimmings... well, with just the two of us a roast chicken at least.

I'm a considerate kind of guy, so accepted there will now be no bacon across the top of the chicken to baste it, and no bacon rolls or sausages roasting alongside. A bit disappointing, but no big problem.

Now I'm told that the chicken will have to be halal. I mean... OK, I'm happy to forget for once my disagreement with halal slaughtering methods, but where to get a halal chicken in Gothenburg and why should a simple meal turn into a problem? 

I says I can't do that, but at least you can have some veggies? Oh... not happy to eat roast potatoes contaminated by fat from a non halal chicken.

A planned Christmas dinner for two with Christmas carols playing on me new Bluetooth speakers, plenty of _vinglögg_ and maybe a bit of whisky to seal the deal has started to become a bit complicated.  

Like I said... FFS...

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## helge

> Now I'm told that the chicken will have to be halal. I mean... OK, I'm happy to forget for once my disagreement with halal slaughtering methods, but where to get a halal chicken in Gothenburg and why should a simple meal turn into a problem?


I think all chickens slaughtered in Scandi , is halal

It's just some guy reading a verse from the Koran


There is a lot of christians in Egypt btw

He isn't one then ?


Edit:
In 2017 98 % of the chickens was halal.   in Denmark

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## Mendip

> In 2017 98 % of the chickens was halal.   in Denmark


I was hoping for one a bit fresher than that, to be honest.


And no, he doesn't seem to be one of the Egyptian Christians.

He's a nice guy... but maybe I should stick to my original plan of bacon and sausage trimmings... it could go back to a meal for two!

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## helge

> I was hoping for one a bit fresher than that, to be honest.


Picky ?

Here is danish Yellow Peas

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## Saint Willy

A halal chicken? 

dont invite him then. He also would object to alcohol being drunk in his company

 Besides Christmas is for Christians

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## panama hat

> Besides Christmas is for Christians


It's also the birth of their senior prophet Isa (Jesus) . . . but yea . . . nice of you to make the effort, Mendip.

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## OhOh

> where to get a halal chicken in Gothenburg


Try this search:

http://gotenburg halal butchers

Possibly good for this as well.




> fat from a halal chicken.

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## TheMadBaron

> It's also the birth of their senior prophet Isa (Jesus)


 There is no basis for the belief that 25th December is that particular prophet's birthday in the Quaran (or in the Bible), Muslims do not have a tradition of celebrating the prophet's birthday, and senior islamic scholars have proclaimed such celebration as a prohibited innovation . . . but yea . . .

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## Mendip

^ Well that's good news... so a non-halal chicken, sausages and bacon rolls it is then!  :Smile: 

All washed down with some French red wine of course!

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## Neverna

Mendip, you could ask your new Egyptian colleague to help with the international cooking/menu for that day - you can do the British food, your French cartographer friend can cook some French food, and your Egyptian colleague can get or prepare himself some halal food that he would like to eat on that day (lamb kebabs, grilled chicken, falafel, hummus, fuul [fava beans], etc). Ask him to make some _Om Ali_ for dessert. I'm sure you will all like that. 

For drinks, get in plenty of fruit juice to go along with your wine, beer, cider, whisky, brandy, vodka and schnapps. Everybody will be happy.  :Smile:

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## Joe 90

Great idea Nev, any chance of an invite Mendip?

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## Mendip

^ The invite's in the post!


It is a good idea Nev... but... I'm kinda hoping that non halal chicken, sausages and bacon will ensure this is a dinner for two... three's a crowd as they say.

I may even do a traditional pig roast on Christmas Eve!  :Smile:

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## Looper

> I may even do a traditional pig roast on Christmas Eve!





> I'm kinda hoping that non halal chicken, sausages and bacon will ensure this is a dinner for two... three's a crowd as they say.


As a back-up plan what are the rules for a halal spit roast Nev?

Which end is the kosher end for the devout Egyptian?

 :Razz:

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## panama hat

> There is no basis for the belief that 25th December is that particular prophet's birthday in the Quaran (or in the Bible),


Nor did I say there was - it is accepted that this is the day.




> Muslims do not have a tradition of celebrating the prophet's birthday,


Nor did I say they did, merely pointing out that they acknowledge its existence





> senior islamic scholars have proclaimed such celebration as a prohibited innovation .


And most others have not.  Which senior Islamic scholars have?  Where would they be and how far-reaching are their decisions? To which branch of Islam are you referring?

Most do, some don't.

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## Mendip

> As a back-up plan what are the rules for a halal spit roast Nev?
> 
> Which end is the kosher end for the devout Egyptian?



Well it won't be my end, that's for sure.


And exciting news from Gothenburg tonight... everything is starting to come together.

I won't bore anyone with my non-halal Christmas and New Year developments... but put it this way, the festive season in Scandinavia is looking up!

The main news is that my 84 year-old mum is having her Covid jab on Wednesday... and already has the second one booked in for Jan 6th. They say give it a week and immunity should be there, or 90% odd anyway. Great, cos I'm booked here at work until the 11th Jan, so a flight on the 12th (which is also my mum's Birthday) and Bob's yer Uncle, what fantastic timing!

No say's she, cos a week from the Jan 6th jab isn't up until the 13th, so she wants me to stay a night in a hotel first before coming to stay... She always was a stickler for details.

But anyway, I now have a plan. Back to the UK for a few weeks mid January, and then off back home to Thailand before my Non O runs out on 19th Feb. All I have to do is first sort out all the CoE shite... KLM are flying to Bangkok again, so get a flight from Bristol mid Feb, then 14 days quarantine in Bangkok, back up the hill to Korat, sort out all this visa extension stuff, set meself up for working at home and then live happily ever after in Korat!

It is so great to finally have a plan... I could be back sitting with me dogs, at my black marble table having a Leo and Ya Dong before the end of Feb... I can't wait!

What can possibly go wrong!


Oh... OhOh... one question...

The Covid PCR test and Fit to Fly cert need to be within 72 hours of departure. Do you know if they have to be actual original signed documents or can they be sent as pdf by email and printed out? Or is even a digital copy on your phone acceptable? The 72 hours seems a bit tight?

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## marcusb

"*Thai Expats Stranded Overseas due to COVID-19 Restrictions


This an informative page on FB, there's also an ASQ page for choosing and reviewing the ASQ hotels.   

Might help
**
*

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## hallelujah

> The Covid PCR test and Fit to Fly cert need to be within 72 hours of departure. Do you know if they have to be actual original signed documents or can they be sent as pdf by email and printed out? Or is even a digital copy on your phone acceptable? The 72 hours seems a bit tight?


in terms of the test and airports, I've done this recently, although not to Thailand, and it's an absolute ballache. 

You need to have the actual documents to hand at the airport, both on departure and arrival, AND there was a new requirement added overnight, which I didn't know about, so they weren't gonna let me on the plane because of this! I also had to do 2 tests because by the time they had got round to booking my flight, the first test had expired! 

Timing is of the essence with this malarky and it can be very frustrating getting it all together at the right time, especially if you're rural in England (as it sounds like you will be) and there's nowhere nearby doing the swab test.

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## Saint Willy

Brilliant news Mendip, brilliant indeed.

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## katie23

From the vlogs I've seen of ppl entering PI recently, the docs need to be printed out & they advise to have multiple copies. AFAIK there's no covid test needed prior to the flight, but need test upon arrival (costs ~100 usd). For foreigners who have a wife and/or kids in PI, they can enter but need a pre-approved visa. They don't need a visa if travelling with the PI citizen/ former citizen. Lots of Filipinos/ former Filipinos coming home for the holidays. Ordinary tourists not allowed yet. 

As far as quarantine here, it's 2 days hotel quarantine. You can leave the hotel once you get your negative test results. Then 12 days voluntary home quarantine - not sure that all will follow that. People are also required to download an app for contact tracing, and also coordinate with their local gov't bcos they may have their own rules/ apps. My mom's town has its own QR code policy for tracing.

Just comparing circumstances. It's still a pain to travel to other far places here (lots of docs needed), so I'm not travelling far until the gov't eases restrictions (which may be 2nd half of '21).

@mendip - good luck in your holiday plans & sojourn to the UK & TH!

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## TheMadBaron

> Nor did I say there was - it is accepted that  this is the day.


It is accepted that this is Christmas day. It is  not accepted that this is the day that Yeshua Messiah Nazarene, Jesus  Christ, Isa, Jeebus Teh Magick Jew, or whatever you want to call him, was  actually born. It is widely accepted that this is just some shit the  Romans made up to subvert Saturnalia.




> Which senior Islamic scholars have?


اللجنة الدائمة للبحوث العلمية والإفتاء‎ for a start.




> Where would they be


I dunno. ٱلْمَمْلَكَة ٱلْعَرَبِيَّة ٱلسَّعُوْدِيَّة maybe. I'm not privy to their Christmas holiday schedules.




> and how far-reaching are their decisions?


Who cares? They've only got to make it as far as Scandinavia.




> To which branch of Islam are you referring?


Sunni. Almost all of Egypt's Muslims are Sunnis, so the gentleman concerned might feel a little uncomfortable joining celebrations of the birth of the prophet عِيْسَا where everybody else is getting hammered, but you never know....

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## Shutree

> The main news is that my 84 year-old mum is having her Covid jab on Wednesday... and already has the second one booked in for Jan 6th. They say give it a week and immunity should be there, or 90% odd anyway. Great, cos I'm booked here at work until the 11th Jan, so a flight on the 12th (which is also my mum's Birthday) and Bob's yer Uncle, what fantastic timing!


That is very good news. I hope it all comes together for you.

----------


## OhOh

> Do you know if they have to be actual original signed documents or can they be sent as pdf by email and printed out? Or is even a digital copy on your phone acceptable?


My signed results, test report and doctors certificate, were both emailed to me. I printed them out, 4 copies, one for each potential "leaving/inspection  behind" point. Check-in/inspection at airline London,  Check-in/inspection at airline Dubai, Inspection at Bangkok airport and  Check-in/inspection at Bangkok quarantine hotel.

Plus another. I would suggest copies of all embassy issued documents as well. I also had them as imiges on my phone.

A folder in my backpack for each. Plus extras.

Back in October these were and the embassy requirements which don't appear to have changed.

Check here:

IATA - International Travel Document News




> The 72 hours seems a  bit tight?


The requirements on *Thai Embassy London* are today:


_"Fit  to Fly health certificate, issued within 72 hours before departure –  this is a statement by a doctor that you are free from symptoms and fit  to fly (must be separate from COVID test)
__COVID-19  test result, with a laboratory output indicating that COVID -19 is not  detected (COVID test must be by RT-PCR method), issued within 72 hours  before departure"_ 
Note_ before departure, 
_
Requirements for Certificate of Entry during travel restriction - Royal Thai Embassy, London

As your COE  will state you departed London on flight xxx at a certain time and any transit stops/flight info, you must arrive in Bangkok within the 72 hour window from your original departure point - London.  The fact that you may have spent 5+ hours waiting in a transit airport is irrelevant.

However. 

The airline I used,  Emirates, had different requirements in October. 

They now state, today:

_"Family of Thai Nationals:
__
Non‑Thai nationals who are a spouse, parents, or children of a Thai national
_
_Certificate of Residence Holders:
_
_Aliens who have a certificate of residence in the Kingdom, including their spouses and children
__
Work permit holders:
_
_Non‑Thai  national who have a work permit or have been granted permission to work  in the Kingdom in accordance with Thai laws, including their spouses  and children, or foreign workers who have been granted exemption from  the government to temporarily stay in the Kingdom and permitted to work  through their employers or licensees who are permitted to bring in  foreign workers to work in the Kingdom
_
_
For these three categories of passengers, the following additional documents are required for entry:
_

_Valid Thai visa or re‑entry permit__Certificate of Entry (COE)__Fit to fly Health certificate__Certificate of COVID19 Free (issued not more than 72 hours before traveling)
__Health  Insurance policy covering and treatment expenses, including for  COVID‑19, or any other guarantee throughout their stay in the Kingdom  (coverage of no less than 100,000 USD)
__ASQ booking confirmation on arrival date."_ 
_
Travel requirements by destination | COVID-19 information hub | Emirates India
_
Back in October they required:


_Certificate of COVID19 Free (issued not more than 72 hours from date/time of the sample being taken)!_ 

The airline duty flight controller at check-in, has the authority to decide whether you fly or not. If refused, seek him/her out.

I would suggest you need to:

1. Check the availability of the virus test where you are staying in the UK. If too tight stay a few days in London to be tested there. There were many available testers who could test, analyse and deliver the docs within 3 days.
2. The guaranteed time for delivery of the test results to you via email.
3. Travel time from UK base, west country/London mansion/hotel, to London airport.
4. Airline check-in opening time.
5. Your airline/airlines virus test requirements and required documents.
6. Your airline/airlines change of flight/re-booking requirements:
   A. Latest time
   B. Charges
7. Your travel insurance covers virus related travel hiccups.

Until the immigration officer hands back your 90 day permission to stay stamped passport you will remain anxious, your hotel stay will be tedious, your travel to Korat soothing.

But being greeted by your wife, daughter and your dogs will be glorious.

----------


## Neverna

> Which end is the kosher end for the devout Egyptian?


Probably the tradesman's entrance. But whichever it is, make sure soap and water available before and after. Cleanliness is next to godliness, as they say, and I'm sure Mr Masri would agree.

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## Edmond

> where to get a halal chicken in Gothenburg


Pop into one to the Muslim No Go Zones.






Or maybe send the Egyptian cock-block  :Smile:

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## Mendip

^ Oh dear... this thread has gone in an unexpected direction! 

We discussed it last night and are in agreement of going non-halal.

Bacon and sausages I could have forgone, but not having roasties crispy from the non-halal chicken fat was a step too far.





> Probably the tradesman's entrance. But whichever it is, make sure soap and water available before and after. Cleanliness is next to godliness, as they say, and I'm sure Mr Masri would agree.


Couldn't agree more Nev, especially in times of Covid.


Hal... I will be rural but's only a 40 minute drive into Bristol so I'm confident I can sort something out.

OhOh... thanks so much. You have excelled yourself with that information. This is all starting to look very doable.

I'm starting to look for testing places in Bristol, and if signed, scanned emailed certs are acceptable then it should be easy... I think.

I'm looking at flying KLM from Bristol - AMS - BKK because once I get over the initial anger of being charged for a trolley at Bristol Airport it's so convenient to my mum's house. I can also get extra baggage on my points since I've gone a bit overboard on the online shopping these last few months. And we'll doubtless be out of cheese in Korat... my daughter, the little bugger, has developed liking for strong Cheddar cheese, and while this makes me very proud it also means that I have to keep stocking up... she's found all my hiding places.

The best flights from Bristol do the trip in 13hrs 20min, which rises to 20 hrs with a longer connection at AMS, but either way I think will be easily within the time frame allowed.


But first I have some work I should be doing...

----------


## Chico

> The Covid PCR test and Fit to Fly cert need to be within 72 hours of departure.


Mendip be careful its been mentioned that possibly people wishing to fly in the future may need to have the vaccine before travelling.

----------


## Mendip

^ Good point Chico... I'll keep a look out at latest developments.

Maybe by February they'll be available privately for a fee?

----------


## cyrille

^May is the month being talked about when that will start happening.

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## OhOh

> thanks so much. You have excelled yourself with that information


I hope your plan delivers you a successful journey to see your mum and onwards to Thailand.

My ex-sales managers were hot on "PPPPP", Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance. Their objectives were Purchases, mine was surpassing my sales Projections and moving into the next higher revenue band which meant a higher Payments % into my bank account.

Which kept myself, my family and him happy. HMRC not so much.

----------


## Looper

> Probably the tradesman's entrance


Oh Nev you're a very bad Santa - which reminds me to line that classic up for a festive viewing

Those swarthy sand-arabs do love a spot of Greek though as far as I can tell from pornhub




> This morning our lovely Polish receptionist advised me that every year the Swedish Air Force do a fly over of Gothenburg with the planes configured in the shape of a Christmas tree, and it was to be today at 2pm. Then she fukked off to 'work' from home.


Sorry you missed the seasonal Saab fly-over Mendy but you cannot fault the Christmas credentials of the Swedish air force

They even build their front-line fighters in the shape of Christmas trees in case Santa needs an escort one year.

----------


## helge

^ Viggen and Draken ?

Mendip

We can get Covid tests in Copenhagen Airport. !5 min, incl paperwork and free.

A good guess would be that all airports are going to offer that,to get traffic running

----------


## Mendip

^ Helge, thanks for that. Bristol Airport do Covid tests as well... but I can't see a 15 minute turnaround being the RT-PCR Covid test required. I also need a Fit to Fly certificate. But fear not, I've been busy doing research today and getting what I need in Bristol should be no problem.

^^ Looper, you have a plane for every occasion? Very impressive!

It was a disappointing to miss the flyover, but there's always next year! In fact nothing can dampen my good spirits today... I've collated all the paperwork and files for my CoE application and I've got a spring in me step. It's strange... usually I go to work for a four week trip... but only having four weeks left of a six month trip and I'm on countdown! Me mum's even cooking a steak and kidney pie for mid January... it's all coming together.

The Swedish engineers don't only make fancy jet fighters... I had to go to Systembologet yesterday (my trips are becoming more frequent these days - the French wine is going down fast if you know what I mean!  :Wink: ) but forgot my 'Bag for Life'. I had to get a new bag for me haul... look at this for Swedish engineering. I've just sorted out everyone's Christmas presents! What a wonderful bag.



My Christmas larder is looking good...



This will probably be the best Swedish Christmas I've ever had!

----------


## helge

Just curious

Have you thought about renting a car and doing a look around ?

You don't have to go that far south, before you'd be able to have a glimpse of Europe in the horizon   :Smile: 




No, you can't.
It's grey in grey, isn't it ?

I could do with some of your booze  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I get no spare time to do anything Helge, wish I did.

It's grey every day, sometimes light grey but usually dark grey. Just different shades of grey!

I was reading today how a Swedish king marched across the ice between Sweden and Jutland and surprised you Danes from behind! Interesting stuff!

----------


## David48atTD

> It's grey every day, sometimes light grey but usually dark grey. Just different shades of grey!


Had you played your cards right with the French Lassie, it could have been 50 shades of grey  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> I was reading today how a Swedish king marched across the ice between Sweden and Jutland and surprised you Danes from behind! Interesting stuff!


Probably swedish history, cause it's a lie

I think the bastards were done killing folks in Poland, and then marched from there, up Jutland, over ice to Fyn etc etc.

( ice kinda let the superiour danish navy somewhat castrated)

They are Scandi Mongols !

And our beloved brother country

----------


## David48atTD

> ...swedish history,  ...


How is Sweden's history with Finland?

----------


## Mendip

It's a strange thing... I never before realised the rivalries between you Skandis.

Most of my time previously has been in Norway... but I know that you all like the Nogs!

Incidentally, the last week I've been watching  Lillyhammer on Netflix, and it has the Norwegians absolutely perfectly!

But what really is the difference between a Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane?  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> a Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane


... were  sentenced to ten years in jail, but could bring with them one thing  each. 

The Dane brought a pallet of beer,the Norwegian a beautiful  woman,and the Swede a pallet of cigarettes. 

After ten years, the cells  were opened. 
The Dane was lying drunk on the floor, the Norwegian was  standing there with his wife and ten kids, and the Swede stood there  asking for a light. ...  :Smile: 

Svensken, dansken og nordmannen-vitser

apologies  ̶H̶e̶l̶g̶e̶  *lom* ...  ::spin:: 


Edit ... thanks Mendip

----------


## Mendip

^ I think Helge will be OK with that.

Lom however...

----------


## helge

> apologies helge ..


For what ?
Most real men prefers a bit of fluid to ten kids



> But what really is the difference between a Norwegian
> , a Swede
> and a Dane?


I don't know, but here's a pictogram for you



> but I know that you all like the Nogs!


Nope. We just hate them less

----------


## panama hat

Swedes and Finns have more inter-marriages than with other Scandi countries I was told . . . anything to get rid of that bizarre language of theirs. 

Norwegians?  I do believe they are seen as the least interesting of the Scandis . . . dour


Anyway, they're all pisspots and generally nice people

----------


## Chico

Living in a box.

----------


## Saint Willy

Don’t forget a tins of surstromming for family or friends back home!

----------


## Joe 90

> Had you played your cards right with the French Lassie, it could have been 50 shades of grey


 :sexy:  :smiley laughing: 

There's still time yet.

Don't forget the mistletoe and strong sherry Mendip :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

What's Swedish for mistletoe Lom?

For that matter, what's Swedish for rohypnol?  :Smile: 


Anyway, today the docks disappeared...



As did the bridge...



These pics were taken at midday... that's as light as it got in Gothenburg today. I've upped my Vitamin D intake to be on the safe side... I must admit I'm starting to feel a bit unhinged after nearly three months here. Those two days being chased by cows in Somerset back in September seem an awful long time ago.

So far Covid has taught me two things... after the lockdown In korat I realised I seriously have to rethink my retirement plans, and after this winter in Scandinavia I know that north-western Europe won't be included.

Despite the awful weather we went out for lunch today... I'm trying to keep to this 'eating at lunchtime, with rowing exercise and limited alcohol intake in the evenings' routine. Well, at least I'm eating at lunchtime.

The usual lunch place by the office has closed this week as there were two Covid cases among the staff. It really does seem to be all around and is getting very close to home with this going on. 

We went up the road and there's this fish place by the restaurant. 

What I'd give for this sight in Korat... well apart from the Lutefisk that is, they can stick that.



I do worry sometimes that I'm turning a bit Scandinavian... and no I haven't started wearing yellow trousers or this ridiculous jeans that only go halfway down your calf... I'm eating fish all the time. My standard just now is a salad with gravlaks, made by myself. I much prefer gravlaks to smoked salmon.



And another thing that Covid has made me realise... 

... there's four contractors left in the office which is now completely deserted with all staff working from home. There's my good self, Alexey the Russian and Mohamed the Egyptian. Oh, and a French cartographer of the female kind of persuasion. To be honest Alexey is bit serious and Mohamed ain't much fun so it's just turned out that the French cartographer kind of person and myself have ended up having a couple of drinks in the evening. Obviously nothing untoward has or ever would happen, but what I have noticed is... bladdy hell... have I really spent that long in Asia and have I really changed that much...???

Fukkin 'conversation', it's done me in. Talking... questions, answers, discussion, opinions... it never ends... I have to concentrate all the time... does life really have to be so hard? It's wearing me out.

I know it's a bad reflection on the way my life's gone... but I just wanna sit with my dogs again.

----------


## helge

> Fukkin 'conversation', it's done me in. Talking... questions, answers, discussion, opinions... it never ends... I have to concentrate all the time.


That's why the good lord invented the BJ



> Anyway, today the docks disappeared...


We had some hours of sun today

The neighbor went out the garden , armed with his hortonomic weapons

----------


## Saint Willy

> That's why the good lord invented the BJ


And what about the other 23 hours and 56 minutes in the day?

----------


## helge

> And what about the other 23 hours and 56 minutes in the day?


Well
There is work, there is sleeping, there is pretending to sleep,deafness, there is important work to be done on the computer (TD).

Use your imagination

----------


## Saint Willy

> there is important work to be done on the computer (TD).


I did that once just after a date finsihed, the lass was none too impressed.

----------


## lom

> What's Swedish for mistletoe Lom?
> 
> For that matter, what's Swedish for rohypnol?


mistel and rohypnol but it's a bad idea  :Smile: 




> Fukkin 'conversation', it's done me in. Talking...  questions, answers, discussion, opinions... it never ends...


This



> These pics were taken at midday... that's as light as it got in Gothenburg today.


and this.  You once asked why I moved from Gothenburg to Samui..

----------


## TheMadBaron

> I did that once just after a date finsihed, the lass was none too impressed.


She might not have considered the date to be finished while you were both still there.... when did you consider it finished?  :Very Happy: 

I guess she was lucky you weren't using the 'puter during the act. They hate that.

----------


## helge

> mistel and rohypnol but it's a bad idea


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

> So far Covid has taught me two things... after the lockdown In korat I realised I seriously have to rethink my retirement plans,


One thing for sure Mendip, retiring to do nothing doesn't pan out well for all that I know that just went to the end of their career and "retired". While I don't believe retirement takes a lot of planning,  it does require the individual to have a list of hobbies they want to do.  Of course the age you retire will determine a lot as well. I retired before 50 but I was here in Thailand and it was perfect as I had lots I wanted to do and kept me very busy.  Of course my first attempt at retiring ended after a few years by being asked to join a company.  Going back to work was way harder then being retired as I had established myself and was really busy.  The second time I retired was easier as I knew what to expect and now I was married and had lots to do.  Again though after a few years I was tracked down to come join a company and did. I will say this time around it has been different with the Covid virus and the change of how we all do business.  I feel retired at work if that makes sense.

As I have always told people who asked me about retiring early, I always say, "Retirement isn't about sitting around doing nothing, it's about enjoying life on your terms".

----------


## lom

> The usual lunch place by the office has closed this week as there were two Covid cases among the staff. It really does seem to be all around and is getting very close to home with this going on.


 :Sad:  
You are still better off in Sweden than in Britain, the number of new infected in Sweden is increasing daily but the number of daily deaths due to covid is stable at around 25 pax. 
That would be 200 with the same population size as in Britain or 800 with the same population size as in U.S. 
Their daily deaths are currently 5-600 and 3000 respectively, horrible numbers!

The weather is prolly equally shitty in Britain right now, snow and cold in Sweden usually comes from Siberia while rain and mist usually comes from Britain.
"There is a low pressure over the British Island moving towards Scandinavia which will cause rainfall in the western parts for the coming days" , guess how many time I've heard that on the weather report..

----------


## PAG

> The weather is prolly equally shitty in Britain right now, snow and cold in Sweden usually comes from Siberia while rain and mist usually comes from Britain.
> "There is a low pressure over the British Island moving towards Scandinavia which will cause rainfall in the western parts for the coming days" , guess how many time I've heard that on the weather report..

----------


## OhOh

> Talking... questions, answers, discussion, opinions... it never ends... I have to concentrate all the time... does life really have to be so hard? It's wearing me out.


A mobile free date is a given., I hope.

----------


## cyrille

> I always say, "Retirement isn't about sitting around doing nothing, it's about enjoying life on your terms".


Must be easy for you by now, JP...you've done it so many times.  :Very Happy:

----------


## lom

^  :rofl:

----------


## Stumpy

> Must be easy for you by now, JP...you've done it so many times.


Yeah this will be my 3rd time, I am not good at this retirement gig yet. 2 years on, 2 years off.  I have to say though, I enjoy the jobs more now that I do not have to work   :Smile: .  I guess that's life on your on terms...sort of.

----------


## Mendip

^ The way things are going I'll still be offshore in my 70s... dunno how I'd get up a gangway with a zimmer frame though.

But the good news is... I put my my CoE application in today. 

Should hear the good news about my application being accepted within three working days... then book PCR test... flights... ASQ...

It's happening now! All I have to do is get this work finished and get back to the UK next month. And stay Covid free of course.

What can possibly go wrong!

----------


## Mendip

I thought after uploading my CoE application to the London Thai Embassy website this morning I could forget about it for a while... they said it takes three days to process.

Just before I left work tonight I had an email saying the application was approved... in less than a day!

 I knew that marriage certificate would be useful for something!

So now I have 15 days to sort out flights and an ASQ hotel. But I may as well just get on with it.

I'm looking at a flying the first week of February... that'll give me three weeks with me mum. I'll have to isolate for the first 14 days so me poor old mum will have to go out on pork pie and cider runs! 

To be honest the exercise will do her good, and anyway, she'll be immune by then!  :Smile: 

So now to decide which Bangkok hotel room I'll lose 14 days of my life in. After all this work I'm gonna splash out a bit... shame you can't bubble up with someone!

----------


## Joe 90

> shame you can't bubble up with someone


Save those shenanigans for the Xmas party.

Thai embassy mustn't be very busy at the moment.

3 weeks on the cider, well done you've earned it.

----------


## Joe 90

> Fukkin 'conversation', it's done me in. Talking... questions, answers, discussion, opinions... it never ends... I have to concentrate all the time... does life really have to be so hard? It's wearing me out.
> 
> I know it's a bad reflection on the way my life's gone... but I just wanna sit with my dogs again.


 :smiley laughing: 

I'm sure you are not alone in that train of thought.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yeah... a work in progress!

It ain't really going as planned... and I don't fancy bubbling up with Mohamed. 


This is all getting a bit real now. It's been easy not to think about getting home until I actually start getting proactive about it, and now it's all I can think about.

 It's nearly five months now since I left home and while I think about it a lot, after all this time it seems like a world away.

I must admit my main worry is about Coco... whether she'll remember me or not. She only turned up in April so I've been away longer than I've been with her. She'll have doubled her age while I've been away.

And Dan of course... she's over 14 now and has kidney problems. I've already got a camping trip planned in the garden with me daughter and the dogs so we can all have a big cuddle!


But I still have another month's work to get through first...  :Sad:

----------


## Chico

Mendip hopefully the way things are going the Quarantine could be less time isolated, the way things are going.

The Thais are itching to open up.

----------


## panama hat

> the way things are going the Quarantine could be less time isolated, the way things are going


Quite

----------


## TheMadBaron

> I must admit my main worry is about Coco... whether she'll remember me or not.


She'll remember you. I think you should have someone who isn't you ready to video record your next encounter. They seem to like that sort of thing on YouTube.

----------


## Saint Willy

Get some remote work, a 14 day salary would be a bonus! 

But that's  damn good news my man  :party43:

----------


## Mendip

^ yeah well, it's not all beer and skittles...

Tonight my Gallic friend offered to cook dinner.

 I thinks, well, we all know that French cuisine isn't a patch on English but why not give it a go. It'd save me having to sort anything out at least.

It turns out that she's previously had a Norwegian husband, which kind of makes sense, but weirdly she misses the Norwegian food... (says a lot for Froggy cuisine to be honest).

She cooked up lutefisk tonight. Yep, she picked it up at the market (a few pics up).

I guess this is what five months does to you... lutefisk is rotten cod fermented in sulphuric acid, stinking and jelly like, yet still I ate it.



Furthermore, the peas were ruined, those orange things weren't carrots, and that thing at the front of the plate wasn't a potato... and absolutely fuk knows what it was.



What I go through... jellied, fermented in acid, stinking cod. 

I could have just had a heated up pie. The outcome would have been the same.

----------


## Saint Willy

A girl in your room, the plot thickens...

----------


## Loy Toy

^ The things we do for love mate...... :Smile:

----------


## panama hat

A Brit criticising French cuisine . . .  :rofl:

----------


## Joe 90

> ^ The things we do for love mate......


Bollocks, he's warming Emmanuel up for some tonsil tennis under the mistletoe.

----------


## TheMadBaron

> I guess this is what five months does to you... lutefisk is rotten cod fermented in sulphuric acid, stinking and jelly like, yet still I ate it.
> Furthermore, the peas were ruined, those orange things weren't carrots, and that thing at the front of the plate wasn't a potato... and absolutely fuk knows what it was.


It does sound horrendous. Still....




> A Brit criticising French cuisine . . .


.... the hat does have a point. British cuisine is, famously, the worst in the world. The Gallic Gal probably took this as a challenge.

You're going to have to return the favour, Mendip. You must prepare some traditional British fare for her. Mad Cow with incompetent potatoes and soggy Yorkshire puddings, like me ald mum used to make.

Or, bubble and squeak, the old school favourite.... something involving cabbage, anyway. And turnips. And parsnips. No flavourings. Well, perhaps a knob of butter.
And gravy.... runny, insipid gravy. See if you can find a use for pearl barley, that's good, it tastes like bark.

Poison her back, Sir. Our national pride demands it.

I'm having an Indian.

----------


## ootai

> Furthermore, the peas were ruined, those orange things weren't carrots, and that thing at the front of the plate wasn't a potato... and absolutely fuk knows what it was.
> 
> What I go through... jellied, fermented in acid, stinking cod. 
> 
> I could have just had a heated up pie. The outcome would have been the same.



I had an American friend who used to eat at the mesh same as me when I was working in Indonesia who, when asked "What's the food like?" would reply, "It'll make a turd!"
So I guess you, at least, will get that outcome.

----------


## lom

> Furthermore, the peas were ruined, those orange things weren't carrots, and that thing at the front of the plate wasn't a potato... and absolutely fuk knows what it was.


Those orange things are rutabaga (aka swede) and the fuk knows thing is prolly a turnip. 
The only thing Swedish christmas on that plate is the lutfisk which is something most Norses and Swedes are lyric about. I ain't..

I found a good article about Swedish christmas food (and christmas eve tradition/behaviour) written by a yanke girl become Swedish

Dopp i gryta | Something Swedish

----------


## OhOh

> rotten cod fermented in sulphuric acid, stinking and jelly like, yet still I ate it.


She knew copious amounts of red wine would be required to cleanse your palates. You were just being polite, matching her consumption, being an English gentleman. :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 




> It turns out that she's previously had a Norwegian husband


Who, if asked, would advise any man, to give her a wide berth.




> A girl in your room, the plot thickens...


No indication whether she's still under the duvet!

Do French girls snore or squeak?

----------


## OhOh

> I thought after uploading my CoE application to the London Thai Embassy website this morning


I believe the request has to be authorised by the Bangkok ministry.

There appears to be a Thai web site available for all nationals to apply national at:

ระบบลงทะเบียนคนไทยที่จะเดินทางกลับเข้าประเทศ

I only explored the 4 pages it looks professional. The first page offers Thai or Foreign language. The Foreign language page offers Chinese or English.

----------


## Saint Willy

> No indication whether she's still under the duvet!
> 
> Do French girls snore?


Given that Mendip has now been MIA for 16 hours +


.....  :Shrug:

----------


## OhOh

> Given that Mendip has now been MIA for 16 hours


Her ex husband's body has not been found after 3 years. Luckily they both had wills in place.




> She cooked up* lutefisk* tonight. Yep, she picked it up at the market (a few pics up).



_"Lutefisk is dried whitefish It is made from aged stockfish (air-dried whitefish), or dried and salted cod, pickled in lye_
*

Lye*

_ Lyes may be harmful or even fatal if swallowed; ingestion can cause esophageal stricture. A notable example of this is the poisoning of teacher Barbara Lewis"

Lye - Wikipedia
_
Utilised by Russian intelligence operatives to disappear problem citizens. Superseded by alleged 100% fatal chemicals, which were found equally ineffective in recent usage.



Mendip, having offshore safety training, always has personal "Hazmat travel bag" at hand.

----------


## Neverna

> But the good news is... I put my my CoE application in today. 
> 
> Should hear the good news about my application being accepted within three working days... then book PCR test... flights... ASQ...
> 
> It's happening now! All I have to do is get this work finished and get back to the UK next month. And stay Covid free of course.


Mendip, luckily for you, North Somerset and Bristol will drop down to Tier 2 as of tomorrow (Saturday).

----------


## helge

And Sweden goes 4 persons max  :Sad:

----------


## PAG

> Given that Mendip has now been MIA for 16 hours +
> 
> 
> .....


.....and he only went out for some new socks.......

----------


## Mendip

I see there's been plenty of conjecture in my absence...




> A girl in your room, the plot thickens...


A girl in the shared kitchen in this shitty student accommodation I share.




> A Brit criticising French cuisine . . .


In this case justified I feel... have you ever eaten jellied cod that's been cured in sulpuric acid?

OK, so not exactly French cuisine but Scandinavian 'cuisine' cooked by a French person.





> .... the hat does have a point. British cuisine is, famously, the worst in the world. The Gallic Gal probably took this as a challenge.
> 
> You're going to have to return the favour, Mendip. 
> 
> Poison her back, Sir. Our national pride demands it.


It was my turn to cook last night and I feel she did rather better out of the deal than I.

A pizza with anchovies for her... she does love her fish.



But a proper pizza with beef for me...







> "It'll make a turd!"
> So I guess you, at least, will get that outcome.


I did indeed! Sooner than expected as well.





> Those orange things are rutabaga (aka swede) and the fuk knows thing is prolly a turnip. 
> The only thing Swedish christmas on that plate is the lutfisk which is something most Norses and Swedes are lyric about. I ain't..


I've since been led to believe it was a 'Jerusalem Artichoke' whatever that may be. I know one thing... something got my bowels moving. This is why I stick with peas and carrots.





> Given that Mendip has now been MIA for 16 hours +
> .....


Well... there is a reason. I've been extremely busy for the past couple of days...

I've booked a flight to Bangkok while trying to sychronise the flight with available PCR tests in Bristol. And I've booked my ASQ... so all that's needed now is to upload that stuff onto the Thai Embassy website and I'm good to go!

... apart from the RT-PCR test and Fit to Fly certificate which, after paying 149 quid has already gone south. But I've got six weeks or so to sort that out.

But... in the spare time I've had while sorting all that out I've been doing work... which is why I'm here. And my project has gone bad.

As this is a work thread I'm gonna indulge myself now...

Many people aren't aware that a coordinate is only any use if you know how it was derived. The transformation method used to represent a position from the curved earth to a flat surface is all important and varies from area to area. Anyone who sails will be familiar with WGS84 but the data we collect in WGS84 has to be transformed into UTM coordinates for engineering, display on charts etc.

Well, in my project the correct UTM zone was used for all data apart from the geological part of the project, where it was wrong. In short, the position of the geological interpretation doesn't match the position of the seabed, there is a large mis-match which has only come to light at a late stage in the project. This will take an awful lot of work and redos to sort out. Which has pissed me off immensely as I was hoping to wind down a bit over Christmas. Bladdy surveyors.

But anyway, I had a eureka moment in the night and came in very early this morning as I thought I'd solved an issue... I haven't, but I did see these guys on the way in.



I guess they'll be roe or fallow deer, but I sent a pic to my daughter and as far as she's concerned Papa has just seen Rudolph the Reindeer!



And off they went, taking their bushy tails with them!

----------


## Edmond

^ Mohammed could be aroused by that last pic.

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip, luckily for you, North Somerset and Bristol will drop down to Tier 2 as of tomorrow (Saturday).


Yeah, as you say North Somerset and Bristol are going down to Tier 2 this weekend.

I'm not sure how much difference it'll make to me as I'll have to self-isolate for 14 days anyway, and I'll only be in the UK for three weeks or so...

Also... Wales just across the water is going into lockdown again immediately following Christmas. Covid is out of control in Wales and hospital beds are full. They're also very worried about it spreading to the animal population of course. Baaaaa...

Covid is rising across the UK, the R value is between 1.1 and 1.2 and by the time I get back there mid-January another nationwide lockdown seems inevitable. And yet they are still relaxing the rules over Christmas.

Boris Johnson has said he has no plans for another lockdown in January, which makes it a certainty, but so long as I can still get to a Covid test and get to the airport it shouldn't make too much difference. I'll be watching developments carefully because if there is to be another lockdown my mum will have to first bulk buy strong English Cheddar for me to take back to Korat. Not to mention cider for my self-isolation!

----------


## TheMadBaron

> I guess they'll be roe or fallow deer, but I sent a pic to my daughter and as far as she's concerned Papa has just seen Rudolph the Reindeer!


That's Donner and Blitzen. Rudolph has a red nose. This was previously believed to be due to “nasal mucosa induced by the exertion of pulling a heavy load: excessive  stresses endured whilst flying with San[at]ta and the sleigh in tow  resulted in cerebral and bodily hyperthermia, overworking the nasal  cooling system, causing the nose to glow” - but it's now believed to be due to selective breeding.

----------


## helge

Sunny here today, Mendip

----------


## Mendip

^ It was here for about six minutes.

I have to pop into town for some last minute shopping at the British shop later. It'll be good to get some decent food for Christmas Day!

I was going to walk, but due to the weather Alexey has promised to take me on the tram. This will be my fist ever tram trip and the last achievement to cross of my bucket list for the year!

----------


## Joe 90

Nice deer shots Mendip!

----------


## Looper

> Given that Mendip has now been MIA for 16 hours +





> A girl in the shared kitchen in this shitty student accommodation I share.


 :Scratchchin: 




> Well... there is a reason. I've been extremely busy for the past couple of days...
> 
> I've booked a flight to Bangkok while trying to sychronise the flight with available PCR tests in Bristol. And I've booked my ASQ...


Ooh la la... Monsieur Mendip, TeakDoor believes you bien sur....!  :Razz: 






> A pizza with anchovies for her... she does love her fish.


I would take Francoise' salty anchovies over your beef if I had to choose between those 2 pizzas

----------


## barrylad66

> Yeah, as you say North Somerset and Bristol are going down to Tier 2 this weekend.
> 
> I'm not sure how much difference it'll make to me as I'll have to self-isolate for 14 days anyway, and I'll only be in the UK for three weeks or so...
> 
> Also... Wales just across the water is going into lockdown again immediately following Christmas. Covid is out of control in Wales and hospital beds are full. They're also very worried about it spreading to the animal population of course. Baaaaa...
> 
> Covid is rising across the UK, the R value is between 1.1 and 1.2 and by the time I get back there mid-January another nationwide lockdown seems inevitable. And yet they are still relaxing the rules over Christmas.
> 
> Boris Johnson has said he has no plans for another lockdown in January, which makes it a certainty, but so long as I can still get to a Covid test and get to the airport it shouldn't make too much difference. I'll be watching developments carefully because if there is to be another lockdown my mum will have to first bulk buy strong English Cheddar for me to take back to Korat. Not to mention cider for my self-isolation!


check out the bbc website mendip. just been a new briefing as its all gone pear shaped again with the new covid variant.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Strange indeed... salty fish over beef? To be honest I've long since wondering about other's strange food choices.

And I thought Mona Lisa was an Eyetie, not a frog?


Anyway, today my work problem was solved by the clever people and the only consequence to me is having to redo a couple of days work. I'm paid by the day, so there you go. While things were getting sorted out there was nothing for me to do other than upload my flight and ASQ booking to the Thai Embassy website for my CoE approval, and then go for some Christmas shopping.

Today I went on a tram!

I absolutely hate stuff like this... I have no problem flying to West Africa to some shit hole country and getting a taxi to some shit hole hotel, but getting on public transport in Europe and I break out in a cold sweat. I just have no idea what to do.

Alexey my Russian colleague was also going shopping so I tagged along. He lives in Moscow and seemed pretty good at this kind of stuff.

This one looked promising but it was going the wrong way.



And then...



This was the one. You don't have to stick your arm out or anything, the fukkers just stop.



No-one uses cash in Sweden, everything's done with apps. I don't have the 'Tram' app, so I'd given Alexey 40 krona (or Kronor as Lom likes to call 'em) so he could just sort everything out. All I had to do was tag along like a child, which suited me fine.

This is what the inside of a tram looks like. Not so different from a bus to be honest. By this point I was starting to get memories from my Bangkok train trip with me daughter, which seems like a world ago. That was six months ago!



I noticed this sign, which I presume means something like 'Have you got a ticket?' Is  _'mycket'_ ticket? It rhymes at least. I don't know why they have to change just some letters to make things difficult.



This got me thinking. Alexey had just got on the tram the same as me. I didn't see him do anything with his phone. I reckon he'd just pocketed my 40 kronor and thought what a twat I was. I didn't want to say anything cos I had no idea where to get off this tram, but my mistrust of Russians was increasing.

Anyway, a few sights along the way...

The Red Lion...



That dry fountain I saw a few weeks ago...



And a 7-Eleven, Swedish style. Instead of a pack of motorbikes parked outside, a pack of electric scooters!

 I must admit I find 7-Elevens strangely comforting after so long in Thailand.



And then after 20 minutes we reached our destination.

There's Alexey fukking off with my 40 kronor in his pocket. It won't get you much here mate!



All in all I would say that while I'm glad I have done it, I won't be rushing to do it again. Riding on a tram is now ticked off my list and that's it.

And there it disappears around the corner. Good riddance I say.

----------


## helge

Does it say Dricker du for mycket ?

'Drinking you too much ? :Smile: 

Mycket doesn't mean ticket

Drinking too much, Mendip ?

----------


## TheMadBaron

> Is 'mycket' ticket? It rhymes at least. I don't know why they have to change just some letters to make things difficult.


Google translate is getting pretty good now, if you don't ask it to translate a Thai tabloid page.

mycket = very

"Drucker du för mycket?" = "Do you drink too much?"

Straight up.

Drucker.du..för...mycket?
Drink....you.too.much?

EDIT: 


> Drinking you too much ?


Damn, I was five minutes too late!

----------


## Mendip

We went our separate ways and my first destination was The British Shop to get some provisions for Christmas.

And for all the naysayers... Panama Hat, Bsnub, etal, this is how good British cuisine is... a cosmopolitan city in the heart of Europe and a queue to get some decent British fare!



The girl who runs this place is a Scot, and I can't help thinking the picture she displayed of our lovely Queen wasn't exactly respectful.



I finished me shopping in about 3 minutes. No proper British sausages, no steak and kidney pies, no pork pies, no steamed puddings, no nothing. Everything was sold out. Lom, if ever you return there is definitely a business opportunity here supplying decent food to Brits. This will be the first Christmas in living memory I won't be having at least a pork pie.

I was well disappointed to be honest. But I decided to have a walk about to see the Christmas sights. I'll say one thing about the Swedes, they may be a bit strange but they have some pretty women and they know how to put up Christmas decorations!



Gothenburg is tram city... one after a bladdy nother. It's hard to take a pic without a b@stard tram in it. They're everywhere...



I guess it would be quite romantic to walk around Christmas Gothenburg in different circumstances. I couldn't help thinking how much Dan and Coco would have enjoyed this.







Just look at the fukkin trams...









I popped inside here but not a mask in sight. I know that UK Covid rates are looking awful, but the Swedes seem to be inviting disaster.

And the violin playing Santa woman was pretty awful as well. She wouldn't have got my money even if Alexey hadn't got there first.

----------


## Mendip

^^, ^^^

This is my problem with languages. Wouldn't it make more sense if mycket meant ticket?

And wouldn't it make more sense to have a sign on one of these b@stard tram walls saying 'Have you got a ticket?' instead of 'Do you drink too much?'.

FFS...

----------


## helge

Just curious and maybe I'm stereotyping

Do you wear a Bowler, when you're doing your shopping ?

----------


## helge

> And wouldn't it make more sense to have a sign on one of these b@stard tram walls saying 'Have you got a ticket?' instead of 'Do you drink too much?'.


Yes, in most of the world, but not in Sweden

They, together with the Finns drink way more than they buy tickets.

And they stab people with knives too



(from Nice Helge's schooling many years ago)

----------


## David48atTD

Is that clock saying 4.05?

Really dark!

I'm surprised with your dislike of Public Transport.

I LOVE TRAMS / TRAINS .. even in a foreign language you know exactly where they are going.


Instead of moaning about the lack of 'English food' that place is a magnet for English speaking woman ... go get them!

Instead of moaning about your working conditions, thank fuck you actually have a job, unlike millions of others, me included who have been laid off because of the covid-19 debacle.

"Permission to speak freely", given earlier is used now   :Smile: 

Reality check over ... please carry on with your potential 'Thread of the Year' and make me jealous of your exciting adventures.


OH, re your dogs ... absolutely, one sniff when you arrive back in the Kingdom and every one of your canine companions will remember your scent and tails will be wagging, ears dropped and eyes wide open.

Wife?  Looking for blond hairs on your cloths  :Smile:

----------


## Chico

Nah sounds a deerstalker type of guy. :Smile: 

great Thread buddy.......

----------


## Mendip

A man can only take so many Christmas decorations. No way I was getting on a tram back on my own, and how the fukk are you supposed to know which one to get on? There's bladdy hundreds of the things.

I found a taxi and we were on our way when I spotted a fabulous sight and said to the drives to go round the circuit again so I could get a pic. My Bosnian driver's eyes lit up at having such a fool to ask an astronomically priced ride to stop to take pictures. But anyway...

Central Station was pretty cool I think.



As was the Clarion Hotel. While my taxi driver watched his meter revolving a woman sat on the right hand side of that bench started shouting at me... upset at being in my photo. She was an old hag and wasn't in the photo for that reason. If she'd been hot I would have got a sneaky shot in earlier!





There was a whole orchard of decorated trees on the way back, but I was starting to get suspicious of my taxi driver. No more stops.

A quick shot at the traffic lights...



And that was it. I hope you enjoyed a few Christmas pics. My taxi charged 68 quid... I kid you not. A 2 minute ride cost the same as a 4 hour ride from Korat to Suvarnabhum (pre Brexit). But waht can ya do.

My Christmas haul...

Not as good as I hoped. I'm particularly looking forward to SPAM sandwiches dunked in Heinz Tomato Soup (I've got the HP Sauce already!).

Bisto and Chicken Oxo all ready for the Christmas Day meal... or maybe I could get some pork mince and make a chicken pie?

I was really pleased to get the Paxo stuffing. I've been toying with the idea of stuffing the chicken with my pack of ten (unopened) bad boys for a fun Christmas dinner surprise, but I worry if Muhammad joins us it may backfire badly and I may get more than I bargained for...

And besides, will they even work after an hour and a half at 220 degrees!

Merry Christmas everyone!

----------


## David48atTD

> They, together with the Finns drink way more than they buy tickets.


I met a Swede who used to take the Ferry from Denmark to Sweden (The HelsingørHelsingborg ferry route) and was drunk for the entire week-end from the Duty Free booze on the Ferry.  He just stayed on the Ferry!




> As the distance between *Denmark* and *Sweden* here only is around 2.5 nautical miles (approx. 4 km), the crossing time is just 20 minutes.



I remember missing the Ferry once and having to rest on a park bench.  Also vivid were the jellyfish at the Port.

Ah ... the good old days of back-packing through Europe.


*Mendip* ... Frederikshavn to Gothenburg apparently runs 3 times per day ... there is your Duty Free opportunity!

----------


## TheMadBaron

:UK: This....




> The girl who runs this place is a Scot, and I can't help thinking the picture she displayed of our lovely Queen wasn't exactly respectful.


.... is frickin' hilarious. ::doglol::

----------


## helge

> OH, re your dogs ... absolutely, one sniff when you arrive back in the Kingdom and every one of your canine companions will remember your scent and tails will be wagging, ears dropped and eyes wide open.


They'll act exactly like if he came back from a haircut and a beer.

Meaning jumping and wagging like he has been gone for months

----------


## David48atTD

^  Yep, that's my experience, and my visits were 11 months apart.

----------


## David48atTD



----------


## Mendip

^^ I certainly hope so guys. I do appreciate your comments but have been having a couple of whiskeys while typing this nonsense... and haven't eaten yet... and work tomorrow... but will reply in due course.

What I'd give to have my dogs sitting with me right now.

But I forgot the most important thing...

After paying my monumental taxi fare and arriving back at my shitty student digs, I checked my messages. I had an email from the Thai Embassy... my CoE has been approved and issued and is ready to download! 

(I'll do that tomorrow in case I bollocks it up tonight).

So, I'm good to go!

Amazing, it took only a few hours on a Saturday. I reckon the Thais are wanting visitors bad.

----------


## panama hat

> Just curious and maybe I'm stereotyping
> 
> Do you wear a Bowler, when you're doing your shopping ?


A dozen homesick Brits lining up to buy some canned pies - evidence of superior British cuisine.  :Smile: 



As an aside - not a lot masks . . . I thought Swedes were smarter

----------


## helge

> I thought Swedes were smarter


I didn't

(ball-right foot-etc) :Smile:

----------


## helge

> a couple of whiskeys


Have one for me

Sitting here in our lockdown sofa with the boy, who likes watching dog and cat videos on Youtube, when his Screen time has experired

I like the 'huskies'

----------


## Saint Willy

Great pics, the city does look pretty. Are there no chistmas markets?

----------


## ootai

> I'm surprised with your dislike of Public Transport.
> 
> I LOVE TRAMS / TRAINS .. even in a foreign language you know exactly where they are going.



Mendip I agree with David here (not the rest of his moan) and find it hard to understand your dislike of "public transport".
Surely when you go to Singapore you use their underground rail system it is fantastic.

Whenever i go to a new city its the first thing I do is just jump on the first tram or train and go.
Mind you I always make sure I have my "home" address written down in the local language to show a taxi driver if I end up lost.
That works every time and gets you home safely.

Obviously you are not as adventurous as your thread makes out, impostor!!


P.S.
When you were out and about did you have a jacket on I see in the pictures everyone else is rugged up or did you stand out as the mad Englishman in a short sleeve Hawaiian shirt?

----------


## katie23

Agree with D48 there. Trams & trains are great! When I was new to farangland, I used to hop on a tram line from end to end, just to see the sights. A compatriot told me that was a good & fast way to see the city, and I agreed after trying it.

The pic of The Queen at that shop was hilarious! I've seen her "dressed" several times as such in The Crown.

Cheers & happy holidays to all!  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> They, together with the Finns drink way more than they buy tickets.
> 
> And they stab people with knives too


but not in homemade submarines..

----------


## lom

> No way I was getting on a tram back on my own, and how the fukk are you supposed to know which one to get on? There's bladdy hundreds of the things.


They have a lit up number and end station sign (so that you don't go in the wrong direction) like public transport has in most cities in the world




> My taxi charged 68 quid... I kid you not. A 2 minute ride cost the same as a 4 hour ride from Korat to Suvarnabhum (pre Brexit). But waht can ya do.


Take the tram? The 68 quid (sterling I guess) could have bought you a public transport card with which you could hop-on hop-off trams and buses as much as you want during a whole month.

----------


## lom

> I reckon the Thais are wanting visitors bad.


Don't forget to bring your hard earned cash!

----------


## lom

> Great pics, the city does look pretty. Are there no chistmas markets?


There is usually plenty of them but almost all are cancelled this year due to covid

----------


## PAG

> The pic of The Queen at that shop was hilarious! I've seen her "dressed" several times as such in The Crown.


But not like this......

----------


## Saint Willy

> There is usually plenty of them but almost all are cancelled this year due to covid


Indeed, but surely some enterprising business folk could arrange a socially distanced market?

----------


## panama hat

> There is usually plenty of them but almost all are cancelled this year due to covid


Same in Germany, Holland, Belgium and Austria and elsewhere . . . wonderful places to visit

----------


## Mendip

> Great pics, the city does look pretty. Are there no chistmas markets?





> There is usually plenty of them but almost all are cancelled this year due to covid



My taxi driver said that the city is very quiet this year and the Christmas Markets are closed. If one was open I'm sure he would have taken me there... he could sense an easy few quid.






> Mendip I agree with David here (not the rest of his moan) and find it hard to understand your dislike of "public transport".
> Surely when you go to Singapore you use their underground rail system it is fantastic.
> 
> Whenever i go to a new city its the first thing I do is just jump on the first tram or train and go.
> 
> Obviously you are not as adventurous as your thread makes out, impostor!!
> 
> P.S.
> When you were out and about did you have a jacket on I see in the pictures everyone else is rugged up or did you stand out as the mad Englishman in a short sleeve Hawaiian shirt?


Singapore also has cheap taxis.

I seem to have lost my thirst for travel... for me now it's not the journey, I just want to get to the bladdy destination.

I still use the buses between Bangkok and Korat... is that adventurous enough for you?

And yes, I was jumpered and jacketted up... it's cold here now.





> Agree with D48 there. Trams & trains are great! When I was new to farangland, I used to hop on a tram line from end to end, just to see the sights. 
> Cheers & happy holidays to all!


It was dark Katie... and besides taxis have windows as well.

In saying this, I am looking forward to using the Korat - Bangkok bullet train when finished. One hour 40 minutes door to door promised and no taxi can beat that.


But this is what it's all about. For anyone considering a return to Thailand this took lwell under a week to get from initiating the application.



All I have to do now is stay Covid free and sort out the PCR test and Fit to Fly certificate within the 72 hour time frame, which is proving harder than anticipated.

----------


## Saint Willy

Great news buddy

----------


## katie23

^^commiserate w/ you re: the winter & darkness. I saw that in one of your pics, it was only past 4 pm and dark as night! I don't miss cold winters (though the Christmas markets & mulled wine were nice). If ever I visit Europe again, it won't be in winter. Uggh.

Btw, congrats on getting your certificate!

To anyone interested, Maldives is open for tourism. Sri Lanka will be open by 26 Dec. Need covid test prior to flight & upon arrival. For details, see travel off path dot com.

----------


## Neverna

> After paying my monumental taxi fare and arriving back at my shitty student digs, I checked my messages. I had an email from the Thai Embassy... my CoE has been approved and issued and is ready to download! 
> 
> So, I'm good to go!


Mendip, you might need to rethink flying from the UK to Thailand on KLM (if that's what you planned). The Dutch are banning flights from the UK due to a new strain of Covid-19 turning up in Blighty.

Dutch ban UK flights, fearing the new coronavirus variant

----------


## Mendip

^ Aah... thanks Nev... I think.

I thought it was going a bit smoothly.

I had to book the flight to get the CoE, bugger.

That news article says they will ban UK flights to at least the end of the year. My KLM flight is booked for early February... so there's hope.

I may have to risk another moan...

----------


## OhOh

> I had to book the flight to get the CoE, bugger.


The UK embassy will reissue the COE if you send updated airlines, dates or times.

As you have already been issued a COE, all official  boxes have been ticked. The ASQ will also reissue the booking if you are a day or so adrift. 

The revised COE arrived back the same day as receiving my request for some similar changes on my return.

I would suggest holding off to see which other airlines/countries may modify their UK specific travel rules.

Thailand appears to have revised it's entry requirements on the IATA site:

IATA - International Travel Document News


MK's post on the airline thread also:




> The resumption of domestic flights follows the  airline’s announcement last month that it would be relaunching* scheduled  international flights from 1st January 2021 to 27th March 2021.*
> 
> 
> It will fly one flight every Friday to Frankfurt and *London*, and a Sunday flight to Copenhagen and Sydney.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah thanks OhOh. There's not a lot I can do about it just now.

Belgium have now also banned all flights from the UK and Germany are considering it. 

I'll just have to see how it pans out. My flight's not until early February so hopefully a good lockdown will sort this out.

My visa is only valid until Feb 18, so I guess that could be an upcoming issue...

It has become so complicated just to get back home.

----------


## aging one

Its all going to work out for you Mendip. Too well researched and planned to even have covid stop it. However what is this thing with trams?  Work on those thoughts mate, it will raise your karma level. :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> My visa is only valid until Feb 18, so I guess that could be an upcoming issue...


If you're in Thailand,prior to that date, you will get a free 90 extension from the BKK airport IO.

If not:

Ask you wife to visit your local TIO, to obtain the handout of their requirements for an annual extension on your current visa, a NON IMM - O yes? Based on having a Thai national wife and *it's the first time time you have requested one.* 

Subsequent years the rules maybe relaxed, for example there is a requirement to have the house master (HM) to complete a form, supply copies of the house book and their ID card. The first year the HM must be in attendance at the IO the day you apply. If your wife is the HM she will be there anyway, if somebody else, that person needs to attend as well.

Ask her confirm that the list is complete and the TIO officers name along with the office telephone number and email address.

90% you will have but some are only valid for a specific time. For example the residence certificate and Kor - Ror 2.

Once you have that info it's just collecting all of them, copying all of them and creation two sets.

 :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I was more thinking what would happen if my Non O expires before I can get back to Thailand due to flight cancellations?

A condition of the CoE was a valid visa for entry to Thailand. 

Hopefully the Cloggy ban on UK flights will be short lived... but it's just been one of those years.

----------


## lom

> I was more thinking what would happen if my Non O expires before I can get back to Thailand due to flight cancellations?


You explain the circumstances to the London Thai Embassy who surely will issue you either a 3month non O or a 60 or 90 day tourist visa.
You can convert a tourist to a non O at Korat Immigration and then apply for a one year permit to stay based on that one.

----------


## Mendip

^ I hope so Lom... but timing could well become an issue. Fingers crossed flights won't be still affected by February.

But more pressing matters are at hand and I really hope you read this very soon.

I have a sausage emergency. The British Shop was sold out of most stuff yesterday and in fact the only real result for me was a tin of SPAM.

I thought I had a few sausages left but there were only three in the freezer and I had to eat them tonight.



Lom, can you recommend any sausages in Sweden similar to proper British style sausages that would be good to roast around the chicken for my Christmas meal? I guess it goes without saying they have to be pork... the porkier the better to be honest. I have a Co-op and a Lidl within distance, as well as the ICA.

These were from the British shop.



I've got two or three days to sort this out... help!

----------


## Joe 90

Peas with fried eggs :ourrules:  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Peas with fried eggs



You need help, Mendip!

----------


## Mendip

^ Never will I understand people's reluctance to try different foods!

I needed cheering up tonight so decided to go 'off menu' and add a fried egg. You can take the boy out of Korat...

And after last night's insults I left the peas in the freezer.



And why do I need cheering up? As I watch the UK become increasingly alienated I'm starting to wonder how realistic my return to Thailand is in February... or even my return to the UK in three weeks? We shall see I guess. And I hate to moan, but bollocks to it all.

My French colleague stayed late in the office tonight to have a Zoom yoga/meditation session for the Winter Solstice. Yeah I know... it raised some questions for me as well. I did consider also staying on for a sneaky peak... but that would have been just plain weird if I'd have got caught watching.

I decided to start planning my Christmas meal instead. There's a few obvious essential ingredients missing, but it's coming along.

The main course (with a chicken, sausages, bacon, etc)...



I was considering a Prawn Cocktail starter and a Crepe Suzette dessert, but I left my 1980s cookbook at home. Maybe I can stick the chicken in a basket?

Alexey leaves tomorrow, leaving just the three of us. The plan is for a Christmas drink at the local hotel bar on Wednesday night... I can't see Mohamed joining us!  :Smile: 

I've been considering my tactics carefully, and my main plan is to get her rat-arsed. I don't have a back-up plan as yet.

----------


## helge

> I left my 1980s cookbook at home.


Ouch
Cancel Christmas
Where do one find a Prawncocktail recipe just like that ?  :Smile: 

Feel for you, Mendip, travel wise

Things are getting complicating and the uncertainty must a pain

----------


## OhOh

> We shall see I guess. And I hate to moan, but bollocks to it all.


Have you thought of skipping the UK and flying direct to Thailand from Sweden.

The COE and flights could be changed. A test done in Sweden ...

Things to do over Christmas:

1. Check flights are available
2.  Check ASQ is available
3. Contact Thai embassy in UK to confirm it's OK
4. Locate a tester in Gothenburg
5. Recalculate countdown

Seems to be a possibility.

----------


## Mendip

^ This has been crossing my mind as well.

I've got my bladdy DateJust to pick up in the UK but that can wait I guess.

My ASQ is flexible, but I don't know by how much.

PCR test probably easier to sort out here than in the UK (where I'm still having issues...)

Flights with SAS via CPH will probably not be a problem. Or THAI via Oslo or Stockholm. I'll end up with KLM vouchers but I can use them for our European summer holiday when Covid has gone and everything is back to normal!  :Smile: 

But, I thought you had to apply through your embassy of nationality? I'll inquire anyway a a first step... all through this the London and Stockholm Thai embassies have been extremely responsive and helpful.

----------


## TheMadBaron

> As I watch the UK become increasingly alienated I'm starting to wonder how realistic my return to Thailand is in February... or even my return to the UK in three weeks? We shall see I guess.


The word from TheProphetOfDoom @ ground zero:  :UK: 

I've got to be honest; the weather's terrible here down south, and doubtlessly a great deal worse up north. A lot of people were about to get sick even without COVID-19 and it's lovely new variant. 

There could be further lockdown restrictions. There are going to be food supply issues. People might start panic buying again. Londoners are going to get restless. All hell might be about to break loose. Airlines? Not a chance.

All of this will affect me almost not at all, but then I'm not going anywhere. I honestly doubt you're coming here any time soon, though I wish you the best of luck. 

You might want to focus on Plan B for a bit.  :Sad:

----------


## OhOh

> ^ This has been crossing my mind as well.


KLM - BKK flights via Amsterdam! 400 GBP mid Jan.




> I thought you had to apply through your embassy of nationality


I'm presuming you are a UK CITIZEN (your preferred meals suggest so) = UK Embassy, box ticked.  What with the UK being grounded, what's a man desperate to get back to his Thai family to do! Pictures of a crying wife and daughter, plus three sad dogs might help. 

Best not include any pictures of your garden...




> I'll inquire anyway a a first step... all through this the London and Stockholm Thai embassies have been extremely responsive and helpful.


As you've already been OK'd by the UK and presumably Bangkok I would try the UK first. It is after all just flights and dates. Your actual AMS - BKK flight number may even be the same.

----------


## Mendip

^ Of course... could still use the KLM AMS to BKK flight, just originate from GOT instead of BRS. Why not?

I can probably rustle up at least 7 sad dogs with a crying daughter. The gardener can take the pic!

----------


## Saint Willy

I thought that was an obvious option to ask? Get onto it Mendip. Forget the UK.

----------


## lom

> om, can you recommend any sausages in Sweden similar to proper British style sausages that would be good to roast around the chicken for my Christmas meal? I guess it goes without saying they have to be pork... the porkier the better to be honest. I have a Co-op and a Lidl within distance, as well as the ICA.


British style sausages are quite different from northern Europe sausages and I have no idea where you can find the British ones.  
Lidl might be your best chance for the Lincolnshire or Cumberland ones or maybe they have the German Nurnberger sausages which are similar to Cumberlands.





> I was considering a Prawn Cocktail starter and a Crepe Suzette dessert, but I left my 1980s cookbook at home.


Is google blocked at your workplace?  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

Mendip
You have probably said already in a previous post why you planned to fly home in February, I think it was so you could go and see your Mum.
But if it were me I get out of Sweden and back to Thailand as soon as you work there is completed. When is that by the way?
Just as others have suggested fly straight back to Thailand.

I would want to get out ASAP because of what's happening in Sweden, UK and Thailand.  Thailand had several hundred new cases the other day so they could quiet conceivably close the place up again if it looks like getting a bit out of control.

I feel for you as if it were me I don't think I could handle the stress of the rapidly changing situation.

----------


## bsnub

> Never will I understand people's reluctance to try different foods!


This from a guy who has never taken food pics of the local fare be it Europe or LOS and your meals are all basically a variation of the same dreary British cooking. Live by your own words and branch out a bit.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

^peas in Somtam is perfectly acceptable  :Smile: 

Baked beans in thai green curry probably not.

----------


## bsnub

He needs to find a nice Swedish smörgåsbord for his Christmas dinner.  :Smile:

----------


## aging one

> He needs to find a nice Swedish smörgåsbord for his Christmas dinner.


Lom "The Swede" kind of nipped that in the bud a couple of weeks ago.  

Lom Posted,

Swedish christmas buffet:




Various kinds of herring (pickled herring, onion pickled herring, mustard herring, garlic herring, tomato herring ) smoked salmon, collared brawn, head cheese/fromage, meatballs, small sausages, homemade sausages , christmas ham, smoked pork belly, spare ribs, Jansons temptation, beetroot sallad, seafood sallad and various kinds of bread to mention some of it.

I checked a few restaurants, they don't serve it as buffet this year but instead serve you at your table, I would choose Fiskekrogen (not far from The British Shop) 695 or 895 SEK. Yes I know but there's only christmas once a year.
Some restaurants have home delivery for the lonely souls but then you are not able to eat as much as you want..

----------


## David48atTD

> He needs to find a nice Swedish smörgåsbord for his Christmas dinner.


Damm, I need to know, and demand why Anna Nyström doesn't have her Port and Starboard indicators visible!



 :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Damm, I need to know, and demand why Anna Nyström doesn't have her Port and Starboard indicators visible!


If unsure then go in the middle of the fairway!

----------


## Mendip

> This from a guy who has never taken food pics of the local fare be it Europe or LOS and your meals are all basically a variation of the same dreary British cooking. Live by your own words and branch out a bit.


Hah! Sometime I think my irony is wasted!

While I admit to a pea and pie based bias, I do resemble that remark.  :Smile: 

Can I direct you Mr Snubs towards...

My post-lockdown commute back to work

My post-lockdown commute back to work

My post-lockdown commute back to work

... all from this very thread!


Not to mention probably the most Thai meal that's ever been posted on TeakDoor!

Dinner

There, I hope to have laid that slander to rest!

----------


## Mendip

^ Well that was disappointing... took me bladdy ages as well.

However do get just the post number to show in the link?

----------


## Mendip

> I thought that was an obvious option to ask? Get onto it Mendip. Forget the UK.





> Mendip
> You have probably said already in a previous post why you planned to fly home in February, I think it was so you could go and see your Mum.
> But if it were me I get out of Sweden and back to Thailand as soon as you work there is completed. When is that by the way?
> Just as others have suggested fly straight back to Thailand.
> 
> I would want to get out ASAP because of what's happening in Sweden, UK and Thailand.  Thailand had several hundred new cases the other day so they could quiet conceivably close the place up again if it looks like getting a bit out of control.


There was a reason why I decided to fly from the UK, but it was so long ago I can't for the life of me remember now.

I'm thinking it was because I was under the impression you had to apply form your 'residence', or at least country of nationality. But thinking about it, Thai Dhupp did it from the Middle East, so that can't be the case.

I also thought the process was a lot more drawn out and complicated than it's proved to be. It has been remarkably easy. 

I'll be finishing up work mid-January... depending on progress. My productivity seems to be slipping after three straight months here. Also, these threads don't just write themselves...

It would be nice to see my mum... she'll be spending Christmas pretty well alone and not for the first time I'm divided between loyalties for two families so far apart. But all said and done, my daughter has to be priority. Her screen time has gone through the roof... not her fault of course but it needs sorting out, amongst other things.

I'll pen an inquiry letter to the Thai Embassy in London later to see what's what. 

I know one thing for sure... once I do eventually get back home I'll not be leaving again for work or pleasure until travel is back to normal. I'm not gonna be away from home for six months again.

----------


## bsnub

> There, I hope to have laid that slander to rest!





> However do get just the post number to show in the link?


I can see the posts and will admit that I either missed or forgot about those posts. But some context is needed as it is still a very small percentage of your food posts.  :Smile: 

I still think you need to head out for that Xmas smorgasbord.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> But some context is needed as it is still a very small percentage of your food posts.


^ Are you saying you want to see a few more pie and beans pics?

----------


## Saint Willy

> Damm, I need to know, and demand why Anna Nyström doesn't have her Port and Starboard indicators visible!
> 
> Attachment 62067



huh? 




Sorry, what was the question again?

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ Well that was disappointing... took me bladdy ages as well.
> 
> However do get just the post number to show in the link?



click on that number in the top right of the very post. This one is 1327. It will open a new page, with that post at top. 

like here. 

https://teakdoor.com/travel-the-worl...ml#post4199198


or type the link and then add #post4199198 after the html post.

----------


## David48atTD

*Mendip* ... you are in Gothenburg, no?

----------


## bsnub

> Are you saying you want to see a few more pie and beans pics?


Less of those and more of you eating the food from the country you are in hence the suggestion of the smorgasbord.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yes, until around early/mid January...

----------


## David48atTD

Gothenburg: Art By The River



Another city in the South, Gothenburg has it all  history, culture,  beautiful architecture and even more beautiful Swedish women. Make sure  to bring your new boo to one of the art galleries or extravagant events. 

 There is always something happening in Gothenburg, yet the city  manages to retain its chilled out atmosphere. Locals love to mingle  with tourists and are even more open than most Swedes (which are already  super fun people).

 For a charming and quirky stroll, head to the Haga district, one of  the oldest neighborhoods and a cult hippie hangout spot from the  60s/70s. The mix of cobbled streets, artsy shops, galleries, and cafés  plus some seriously trendy restaurants.

 Check out the Hemma Hos, a relaxed bar and dinner that serves the best of Swedish comfort food.
 The Nefertiti Jazz Club (a.k.a. the one and only real jazz club in  town) is the cozy, dim-lighted jazz and blues bar to bring your date  next. 
There are often live performances and the drinks are excellent,  too.

 For something a bit louder with a very young crowd, try Gretas  (although it can get very busy on some nights) or to Bee Kitchen &  Bar. The latter is a party hard dance spot at night but also a  surprisingly great restaurant by day.


Cities To Meet Beautiful Swedish Women (Besides Stockholm) - Live Scandinavia

----------


## Mendip

^ Ummm... everything's shut because of Covid.

And it's the winter, so it's cold, wet and dark.

And I'm working 11 hours a day!

But in better times it would be a lovely place to visit!




Sweden has now also banned incoming passengers for the UK. 

There is a direct BA light GOT-LHR but now I don't know how easy it will be to even get back to the UK. Maybe there will still be limited incoming flights for cargo that will take passengers back?

There doesn't seem too much point in panicking as there's nothing I can do about it and the situation is changing so fast. 

I just need to explore all possibilities in the meantime.

----------


## David48atTD

^^ Read about ... Jokkmokk: Northern Lights And Northern Beauties

I went hiking there in the Summer ... amazing place

Walked Kvikkjokk -> Jokkmokk

----------


## David48atTD



----------


## Headworx

^Would. Smash.

----------


## Saint Willy

> There doesn't seem too much point in panicking as there's nothing I can do about it and the situation is changing so fast.


On a serious note, get the fuck out of there now, would be my advice. Before Thailand closes it's borders, or bans Swedes or UK travelers, for the very reason that everything is changing fast!

----------


## OhOh

^
From the AITA Travel Centre  page:

http://https://www.iatatravelcentre.com/world.php

The Thailand pop-up text, once you have clicked on Thailand from their global map has apparently been clarified/updated slightly again.

_"Clause 3.
_
_Passengers must have a medical certificate with a negative Corona virus (COVID-19) RT-PCR test result issued at most 76 hours before departure from the first embarkation  point. The certificate must be in English.
__
This does not apply to nationals of Thailand."
_
  Clarifying the time window between certificate issue and departure. 

One presumes the medical certificate is available in English from a Swedish doctor in Gothenburg?

A copy of the full IATA document printed on the departure day, maybe useful.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm starting my investigations.  

I have a feeling a Covid test will be easier to get here than in the UK. And most of the Swedes speak better English than you find in the UK as well.

----------


## Joe 90

> And most of the Swedes speak better English than you find in the UK as well.


 :smiley laughing: 
There's an element of truth to that statement. 

If was in your shoes, I'd give the UK a wide berth  and get back to your daughter and dogs.

You can always visit your mum without risk in 7 months when you go back to work and everyone has had the vaccine.

----------


## David48atTD

> If was in your shoes, I'd give the UK a wide berth  and get back to your daughter and dogs.
> 
> You can always visit your mum without risk in 7 months when you go back to work and everyone has had the vaccine.


^ This ... 


England is fast becoming a Hotel California

England ... _You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave"_

----------


## CalEden

> ^ This ... 
> 
> 
> England is fast becoming a Hotel California
> 
> England ... _You can check out any time you like
> But you can never leave"_


Get out as fast as you can! Things will not get any better in Reindeerland until the spring thaw. When people can get outside in the sun. 

Don't go unless you enjoy updating this thread until maybe April. Although last years shut downs began in March!

----------


## TheMadBaron

> England is fast becoming a Hotel California


Kinda like a Hotel California, but with rationing. In the HC, you can probably still get a slice of lemon with your drink....

Tesco puts buying caps on several products

----------


## Mendip

I sent an email to the Thai embassy in London today inquiring about the possibility of changing the country I fly from than that listed on my CoE. As is usual I had a very quick response... giving me a different email address used for complicated cases. We shall see. It is staring to make more and more sense to avoid the UK altogether if possible.

In the meantime I have my first ever Swedish Christmas to prepare for. There's a big Co-op three or four kilometres down the road so I took a walk tonight...

The Swedes are quite tasteful with their Christmas decorations. I didn't see a single inflatable santa.







One thing I've noticed is that no-one draws their curtains in Sweden. I don't know what happens if you fancy a bit of hanky panky with the missus in front of the telly.



As usual, there were a load of these trams around of course... they all seem to be Number 11 around here. They were all pretty well empty as well... it's not only me who has a dislike if the bladdy things.



And the haul... I'm all set for Christmas now apart from the stuff I forgot. All this was around 45 quid, not bad for Scandinavia.

There were either tiny little chickens or big turkeys but nothing in between. Two chickens seemed to be the way to go. 

Despite everything I'm quite looking forward to Christmas now!



But here's a danger of shopping abroad. I thought I'd struck gold at the deli counter and found pork pies.

A bit of investigation revealed they were goat cheese and beetroot pies. I know I've come under some criticism for my views on local food... but FFS...

----------


## TheMadBaron

> One thing I've noticed is that no-one draws their curtains in Sweden. I  don't know what happens if you fancy a bit of hanky panky with the  missus in front of the telly.


If you fancy a bit of hanky panky in front of the telly, you have a bit of hanky panky in front of the telly. From across the street, your neighbour sees you, your telly, your missus, her front bottom, your hairy bobbing man ass and all, and he thinks, 

"I saw that episode. Ja. Det var a good episode."

----------


## helge

> "I saw that episode. Ja. Det var a good episode."


 :smiley laughing: 
Yeah, sex is much like re-runs

(you should be able to fast forward all that foreplay though)

----------


## Saint Willy

> But here's a danger of shopping abroad. I thought I'd struck gold at the deli counter and found pork pies.
> 
> A bit of investigation revealed they were goat cheese and beetroot pies. I know I've come under some criticism for my views on local food... but FFS...



that sounds amazing, I bet it was delicious!

----------


## lom

> A bit of investigation revealed they were goat cheese and beetroot pies. I know I've come under some criticism for my views on local food... but FFS...


I guess someone™ has to help the shop getting rid of them.. I don't know why it had to be you..

----------


## Joe 90

Cheese and beetroot pies....hmmm

Inspiration for a TD kitchen thread methinks.

----------


## helge

> Inspiration for a TD pot smoking kitchen thread methinks.


yes..

----------


## lom

> Does bribery work on you HW?
> 
> Did you realise that you star on the September page of Dan's calendar?
> 
> All I need is a promise of 1000 Baht to your nearest dog home (or more if you like) and this could be hanging on your wall by Christmas!
> 
> I'd need an address to send it to as well... and I appreciate that could be awkward. I don't need names... but just an address to send it to. Any address.
> 
> Hurry while stocks last! Top quality card and A3!



Mine arrived today, thanks Mendip!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Mine arrived today, thanks Mendip!


I'm also a proud owner!

----------


## Mendip

> that sounds amazing, I bet it was delicious!


Well lucky for you I bought two and you're very welcome to the second one. A few weeks in the post may improve the taste.

I'm as open minded as the next man, but this was awful. I was still burping the taste of goats cheese two hours later... and that's not gonna do me any favours with my continental colleague.

----------


## Mendip

> Mine arrived today, thanks Mendip!


A pleasure Lom.

I just noticed that a few 'personal' details somehow got printed. They must have been saved on the website. So, you have my address and you have my Birthday. No excuses now!

And anyone can be a proud owner of one of these... just a small contribution to your local dog's home!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Well lucky for you I bought two and you're very welcome to the second one. A few weeks in the post may improve the taste.
> 
> I'm as open minded as the next man, but this was awful. I was still burping the taste of goats cheese two hours later... and that's not gonna do me any favours with my continental colleague.


if you haven’t sealed the deal now, I don’t think you ever will...

----------


## Mendip

^ I fear you are right.

Last night was the night for our Christmas drink... so it was clean shirt, clean socks, the lot. I like hotel bars and was looking forward to a few drinks sat at the bar with Christmas music playing in the background.

And the b@stard hotel has shut for Christmas... at least I assumed that's what the sign said.



To be honest it was probably just as well... I shouldn't even be thinking about this stuff. 

And besides, the deck's against me at the moment anyway. My feet are absolutely humming... I guess wearing the same shoes every day for three months in the office and only having four pairs of socks is starting to have an effect. On top of that my room is stinking something awful. There's half a rotting lasagne on my window sill and the bladdy window doesn't open up wide enough for me to get to it. It's been there for about three weeks now and the rain doesn't seem to be washing it away. Every time I open my window the 4 inches allowed the smell just wafts in.

But we did share a few glasses of wine before going our separate ways. She's got hollow legs, this girl, and it's me the worse for wear today.



With all that wine I forgot to put my phone to silent and was awoken at 3am by my lovely daughter messaging me on Skype. She still hasn't worked out time zones.

She had two important questions...

_'Why is a building called a building if it's already built?'

'Do you think sand is called sand because it is near the land and the sea?'_

Good questions to be honest, especially the geological one, but not at 3am with a hangover. Although I guess I should be thankful that she's stopped asking me why Yogi was jumping on Coco's back.

Oh...

The good news is that the Thai Embassy replied to my email and seem quite happy about a change of flight! I can avoid Covid UK and fly direct from Gothenburg, and am in the process of re-arranging flights and ASQ booking to get a revised CoE. December 24th isn't the best day to re-arrange flights in Continental Europe, but it's gradually happening. It looks as though I could be back in Korat by the end of January!

The only bad thing is a pile of online Christmas shopping waiting for me at my mum's house, and my new DateJust sitting at a mate's place... but that will all have to wait.

I just hope my mum doesn't open up the wrong parcel tomorrow and find the 'naughty santa's little helper outfit' I was hoping to take back to Thailand, or I could be in for a few more awkward questions!

Merry Christmas everyone from a cold and wet Gothenburg!

----------


## Headworx

Merry Christmas to you too.

----------


## TheMadBaron

> And the b@stard hotel has shut for Christmas... at least I assumed that's what the sign said.





> DOCKYARD
> Hotel
> 
> JULSTÄNGT
> 
> Vi har stängt hotellet mellan den
> 18/12 till 11/1
> 
> Valkomna tillbaka!
> ...


Translation:*



> DOCKYARD
> Hotel
> 
> CLOSED FOR CHRISTMAS
> 
> We have closed the hotel from
> 18/12 to 11/1
> 
> Fuck off!
> ...


*No translation is perfect, and I may have taken some poetic license.

----------


## Neverna

> Merry Christmas everyone from a cold and wet Gothenburg!



A short sleeved shirt in the middle of winter? 10 out of 10. 

Merry Christmas, Mendip.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you. I hope everything works out well for you and you make safely back here.
Try not to get too emotional tomorrow when you speak to your daughter you will be together again soon and there will be many more Xmas's together.

On a side note my hens are all laying finally, they must have been younger than I thought as its taken 2.5 months for them to all get there.
And you were right about them getting their chicken instincts back they now rule the yard and wander everywhere.  MIL wants to chop their heads off as they get into her garden so I have been busy fencing them out but they find a way. When they see me they chase after me wanting food. I really am enjoying having them so thanks for encouraging me to get some.
I should have some of their eggs (7) hatch in the next few days, can't wait to see what they look like.

Sorry for waffling on as it probably just makes you think more of being home.

Hope you have a happy day tomorrow.

Cheers
Ootai

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ HW... I'm assuming that's a 'cock in a sock'? To be honest I'm way ahead of you!  :Smile: 

^^^ TMB... That about what I figured. At least they weren't asking if I had a ticket!

^^ Nev, I've tried to fit in and wear my jumper... but I find it itchy, prickly and uncomfortable. I just don't like jumpers, and that's it.

^ Ootai, we had a good chat today and the daughter's doing fine. She's got some good presents to open up tomorrow and I reckon she'll have an OK Christmas. We'll come and visit once I get back.

I've got my own chickens here to keep my mind off things on Christmas Day... two of the buggers to prepare and roast in the oven. Looks like they'll be the only birds I'll be stuffing this Christmas!

And after all the festivities are done with... I can retire to my room... and find a sock!  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Merry Christmas everyone from a cold and wet Gothenburg!


Merry Xmas to you too Mendip!

----------


## hallelujah

Merry Christmas, Mendip.

Do they celebrate Christmas in Sweden on the 24th or 25th?

----------


## Mendip

Merry Christmas Lom and Hal!


^ 24th it seems... the office is deserted!

Apart from the English and the French... who will celebrate on the 25th!  :Smile: '

Not only Christmas either by the looks of things... we can celebrate a Brexit deal together!

I'll try and do my bit for post Brexit integration.

----------


## Edmond

> 



Merry Christmas.




Jeremy Clarkson.  :Smile:

----------


## helge

Merry to you Mendip

The kids and I decided to do Christmas Eve thai time in your honour.

All presents thorn open as we speak and the calm have spread throughout our domicil.

Duck, redcabbage, sweet(sugary) potatoes, etc in 90 mins or so, and we are done

Kids happy and the wife not yelling that much, but this lockdown Jul is different.

No massive family attendance


I would be onto the extremely strong ale by now in a normal year.

----------


## Looper

> I'll try and do my bit for post Brexit integration


Pull a Christmas Cracker for European integration Mendip and don't forget to wear your party hat




 :UK:

----------


## Mendip

Well... if Boris Johnson can do it, so can I.

 The lesson I'm going to take from this is... never give up with these bladdy continentals.

A deal I shall seek.

In this VEIN I sneaked off from work early to start preparing a spectacular Christmas Day meal. No fish on offer, but what Frenchie can turn down roast chicken, tatties, snags and bacon? With all the trimmings of course. And it don't get less halal than that!

It'll all be oven ready for the big day!

In the absence of a Christmas drink invite from Helge I've cracked open Lom's Dark Cherry Vinglogg. Couldn't be arsed to boil it up with herbs and spices so nuked a glass in the microwave.

It's warmed up nicely!

Merry Christmas!

----------


## Looper

^I have got to admire the girth on your monster parsnip Mendip

If that does not make Francoise' eyes water then I don't know what will

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah well Mr Looper, you're not the first to mention it, to be honest. Is the state of my socks any wonder?

Merry Christmas, by the way.

----------


## Mendip

Here ya go Boris you tosser... this is what an oven ready deal looks like!

It didn't take me two years either... all I have left to do is take the peas out the freezer.

Let the negotiations begin.

----------


## Looper

> Let the negotiations begin.


Lets hope we will be hearing a Bisto inspired 'Aaaaaaah' once Francoise' defences are weakened by the fortified wine and her Gallic ramparts are breached and broached by the parsnip battering ram as she relents to that over-stretched proper British stuffing

----------


## helge

> In the absence of a Christmas drink invite from Helge


No reason to worsen your Podagra(gout), old chap

----------


## Saint Willy

> A short sleeved shirt in the middle of winter? 10 out of 10.



Doesn't even appear to be layering, no singlet or t-shirt underneath.

----------


## Headworx

> Lets hope we will be hearing a Bisto inspired 'Aaaaaaah' once Francoise' defences are weakened by the fortified wine and her Gallic ramparts are breached and broached by the parsnip battering ram as she relents to that over-stretched proper British stuffing


He's playing it all coy, but we _know_ what this Christmas feast is all about. Chickin and Dickin  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

Merry Christmas Mendip. May all your negotiations lead to a mutually satisfying contract.
Remember, there is no need to plan for 'no deal' because you're going to get a great deal.
 :Fest30:

----------


## Mendip

^ Thank you Shutree, and Merry Christmas to you!


And finally... it's happened!



At last I got to watch 'Jingle All The Way', my favourite Christmas movie!

----------


## Loy Toy

Looking relaxed mate. Good to see.

Merry Christmas and hope you are back home with your family soon.

----------


## katie23

Happy Christmas to you & yours, Mendip!

Watch "Love Actually", a soppy Christmas movie.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Looper

Joyeux Noël Monsieur Mendip mon amie...

 :pullsleigh:

----------


## helge

> And finally... it's happened!
> 
>  'Jingle All The Way'


Good for you :UK:

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ Thank you Shutree, and Merry Christmas to you!
> 
> 
> And finally... it's happened!
> 
> 
> 
> At last I got to watch 'Jingle All The Way', my favourite Christmas movie!



Jingle all the way? Nice euphemism

----------


## Stumpy

Happy Holidays Mendip.

----------


## Mendip

> Jingle all the way? Nice euphemism



If only it was...

It's a nice movie though!

----------


## Saint Willy

So, you didn't Jingle all the way?

Shame.

----------


## Mendip

^ Paris wasn't built in a day.

It's looking bleak but negotiations continue.

I still have a few tricks up me sleeve and here's the first... it ain't exactly Cranberry Sauce but I have to adapt.

----------


## Mendip

I have the ultimate Christmas dilemma...

I have a quarter bottle of Bowmore left, which I've been thoroughly enjoying while cooking and awaiting my Christmas dinner guest.

But strong spirits is part of my negotiating strategy... 

Do I drink it, or save it for future benefits?

----------


## TheMadBaron

CUMBERLAND SAS? Are you trying to seduce her or to have her shot?
Ah, well, who dares wins, I suppose...

----------


## Mendip

Aah... this is the information I need.

I was offered that or strawberry jam.

I'm not in Old Blighty now!

----------


## Mendip

----- NO DEAL----- NO DEAL----- NO DEAL ----- NO DEAL----- NO DEAL----- NO DEAL ----- NO DEAL----- NO DEAL----- NO DEAL -----


I tried my hardest... offered freedom of movement... no borders... the lot, but these guys play hardball.

The oven ready deal was in the oven.



The bird was cooking...



And I was doing my best to keep cross-border trade going by drinking the local produce...



I put my deal on the table. Mohamed had his deal as well... ya can't roast a bit of fish in a plastic punnet!





You would have thought this was a done deal.



But at the end of the day, you have to see what's offered in return. If it falls below expectations then maybe you have to rethink the whole situation? Far be it for me to criticise French cuisine, but is chocolate sauce not meant to be runny?



I settled down to watch ET... a movie I stupidly admitted to not having watched. 

Poor b@stard... living in a hostile environment amongst an alien race with limited communication, strange food and no intimacy... but I've got used to it now!  :Smile: 



So anyway, all said and done, I've had enough. There comes a point you don't want a deal any more. I don't want to talk about some wanky French film director who only makes films with subtitles, I don't want to talk about some long dead French composer who wrote music for the piano, or even the harpsichord, and I certainly don't want to talk about Macron and his punitive tax reforms. It's just too much hard work.

I don't care.

I just want to get home, give me daughter a big hug and then sit at my table with a Leo and a Ya Dong and have my dogs sitting around me with love in their eyes.

 And not talk.

But I have learnt one thing... if yer not gonna get a decent deal, don't be afraid to withhold your bargaining chips and make do with what you've got!

Merry Christmas!

----------


## Joe 90

> I don't care.
> 
> All I want to do is get home, give me daughter a big hug and sit at my table with a Leo and a Ya Dong and have my dogs sitting around me with love in their eyes.
> 
> And not talk.


Cheers to that mate.

Btw that Baileys goes down far too easy.

Merry Xmas.

----------


## Saint Willy

Merry Xmas buddy

----------


## Looper

^Top scran and good effort Mendip




> Mohamed had his deal as well... ya can't roast a bit of fish in a plastic punnet!


Isn't Mohammed allowed to partake of the big bird?

Umpires decicion, Nev....?

----------


## helge

Hilariously small swedish plates  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> ^Top scran and good effort Mendip
> 
> 
> 
> Isn't Mohammed allowed to partake of the big bird?
> 
> Umpires decicion, Nev....?


Thank You... I was pleased at how it turned out.


Mohamed was more then welcome to eat anything he fancied, but the chickens were non-halal.

I don't think the pork sausages and bacon helped much either.

----------


## Dillinger

It looks a little Chitty-esque, that Christmas dinner, if you don't mind me saying so mate.
What's that dolloped at the back of the plate?  :Smile: 

Is there a Teakdoor swordsman of the year poll,  where I can vote for you or someone of a similar strike rate,  like Cyrille. :Smile:  
I bet she had hairy armpits anyway and Panama Hat's Parisian sense of fun. :Smile: 


And buy yourself a fucking tank top or something.  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Anybody else narrating this in Sir David Attenborough's voice?  :Smile: 




> I tried my hardest... offered freedom of movement... no borders... the lot, but these guys play hardball.
> 
> The oven ready deal was in the oven.
> 
> The bird was cooking...
> 
> And I was doing my best to keep cross-border trade going by drinking the local produce...
> 
> I put my deal on the table. Mohamed had his deal as well... ya can't roast a bit of fish in a plastic punnet!
> ...

----------


## Mendip

> I bet she had hairy armpits anyway...


To be honest I don't have a problem with that.

But I read somewhere that only 20% of French people actually own a toothbrush... so I guess things have worked out for the best!

----------


## panama hat

> But I read somewhere that only 20% of French people actually own a toothbrush... so I guess things have worked out for the best!


'Somewhere'?  Sure, you did.  I'm sure you meant to say 20% of French people own an _electric_ toothbrush.

I read somewhere that only 2.7% of English people shower, let alone use soap.  Could have been the same source, though they're probably spot on with the soap.

----------


## David48atTD

> Anybody else narrating this in Sir David Attenborough's voice?


I was hoping he'd have a voice generator app.

Couldn't find it, but this made me smile.  One for JJPR2

----------


## OhOh

SDA a true English treasure, thanks.

----------


## Mendip

> It looks a little Chitty-esque, that Christmas dinner, if you don't mind me saying so mate.


I've had some insults in my time...





> 'Somewhere'?  Sure, you did...


Yeah, it was on the internet... can't remember exactly where...  :Smile: 


Anyway, it hasn't exactly been my best ever Christmas, but after work and in the absence of any intimate Gallic company, regardless of oral hygiene, I've been spicing things up by having a Tunnock's Tea Cake every night to cheer meself up.

They were on offer at The British Shop and I couldn't resist... although they were probably 10 times the cost of in the UK and also out of date.



And this is really bugging me now... I'm absolutely fukkin convinced that these used to have a blob of jam in the middle... I remember having them years ago when I was a kid.

So much so that I just can't stop thinking about it.

No jam? Does anyone remember?

----------


## helge

Did Tunnocks tea cakes have jam in them?

The name you seek is simply '*Teacake*'. ... The mighty *Tunnocks teacake has* egg white based mallow which is basically uncooked meringue, and shirks any mauling around with *jam*.


Edit:

. Several competing brands to Tunnock's, such as Lees' Foods, also include jam in the centre of the teacake

----------


## hallelujah

^^ Are you sure you aren't confusing them with jammie dodgers?

----------


## Dillinger

I remember jam in them. Not sure if they were Tunnocks, could have been Lyons

----------


## TheMadBaron

> The name you seek is simply '*Teacake*'. ... The mighty *Tunnocks teacake has* egg white based mallow which is basically uncooked meringue, and shirks any mauling around with *jam*.


Helge has gone all Backspinny....




> The mighty Tunnocks teacake has egg white based mallow which is  basically uncooked meringue, and shirks any mauling around with jam.


Your Biscuit Views

----------


## baldrick

you could have turned her head with the offer of a soggy biscuit

----------


## Mendip

^ I'll keep that in mind Baldrick, but I don't think it'll improve my chances.


Must admit I'm saturated with this work now... into my sixth month and every day's a struggle.

I should have just over two weeks to go but am still waiting on a revised CoE based on revised flights and ASQ booking, so I'll wait for that until getting too excited. The London Thai embassy's closed today so hopefully I'll get it tomorrow.

My young daughter's helping to keep my spirits up! At 5:30am today she sent me a Skype message asking if I wanted to play 'Rock Paper Scissors' using Skype emojis. I was awake anyway, lying in bed considering going into work early, so thought a bit weird, but why not.

This was new to me, and you have to wait until you see the squiggly line thingy saying that the other person is typing, then send your emoji. It gets quite exciting when both emojis appear at the same time.

It was the most fun I've had this Christmas!

My daughter beat me 5-4... but I can't help thinking she waited to see my choice before making hers... the bugger...

----------


## OhOh

> No jam? Does anyone remember?


No. 

These were the ones that always appeared at home after the visit to the super market:

----------


## Edmond

Rock.

----------


## Mendip

Don't you start... 

Every time I did Rock (the fist) my daughter did Paper (the flat hand).

It was uncanny...

----------


## Edmond

> Scissors





> Paper



Yayyyy.

----------


## Mendip

^ This is pretty good, but can you imagine how exciting it gets playing it 'live' on Skype!  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

As long as she doesn't get a reply '_les ciseaux'_ you're safe.  :Smile:

----------


## TheMadBaron

> ^ This is pretty good, but can you imagine how exciting it gets playing it 'live' on Skype!


When you get back to her, if you have the energy, try Bear, Hunter, Ninja. Stand back to back, and turn on the count of three, striking a scary pose....

Hunter kills Bear (Hunter has a shotgun).
Ninja kills Hunter (Ninja has sneaky skillz).
Bear kills Ninja (Bear is a badass motherfucker).

----------


## Dillinger

Nom nom nom nom nom :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^  :Smile: 

That's just taunting me! That is exactly my memory so at least this is cleared up.

So was it Lyons?


^^ That sounds like a great game... will give it a try.

To be honest I think Rock Paper Scissors on Skype is just too open to cheating. She'll be wanting to do it for money next, I know.


Christmas is officially over here... I boiled up the chicken carcasses last night and made up a soup tonight.

I left a bowl out for my French colleague and then sneaked back to my room. An evening of Netflix with no talking awaits.

It don't get better than that!

----------


## Dillinger

> was it Lyons?


No, its one of the best things I found since coming back- Aldi and their knockoff brands.  :Smile: Those Krauts are better than the Thais at forgery.

And they don't just copy products that well that you  wouldn't tell the difference after a few pints, they also chop the price in half or give you twice the amount, that whilst sticking them right next to the original. I dunno how they get away with it. Its like Mao and his  buy a wonky  khao San degree thread all over again. :Smile: 

...

----------


## Mendip

So just to be clear... that's Aldi Tea Cakes right next to the Tunnock's, they have jam in and they're 10p cheaper!

I wish I lived in the UK again.

Were the Jammy Wheels as good as Jammy Dodgers?

----------


## Joe 90

Those cart wheels are the same as wagon wheels.
Same, same but different  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

> So just to be clear... that's Aldi Tea Cakes right next to the Tunnock's, they have jam in and they're 10p cheaper!


And theres 12 compared to 6 :Smile: 





> Were the Jammy Wheels as good as Jammy Dodgers?


Was never keen on those, tbh. Would have sooner picked up the cart wheels or some of this poncey pretencious Italian shit they  couldn't give away :Smile: 







You should stop by, I'll put a nice log in your hand :Smile:

----------


## TheMadBaron

> I wish I lived in the UK again.


Really? _REALLY?_

It's cold, it's wet, and it's completely dead right now. 41,385 Covid cases and 357 deaths were reported today. I'd swap lives with you in a heartbeat.

But, yeah, we have good biscuits, so I suppose that's something....

----------


## Mendip

Yeah I guess that was a bit of an exaggeration.

But I'd love a tea cake with some jam in.

----------


## Mendip

> And theres 12 compared to 6



That is a real bargain, and I see you have one of OhOh's Wafer Bars.

But let's not distract from the main point... I mean, WTF are you wearing... ???

Is that a Onesie?  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> But let's not distract from the main point... I mean, WTF are you wearing... ???



I'm no apparel expert, but I hazard a guess a dressing gown and shorts/undies   :Dunno:

----------


## Saint Willy

A onesie sounds better

----------


## Mendip

It was a strange night last night...


Sometime in the early hours I was awoken by a load of banging and clattering around that sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.

Now, my French colleague stopped smoking a few days ago and has since been a bit on edge... so I kind of figured she'd had a disaster in the kitchen and was taking it out on the pots and pans in a fit of Gallic temper. You know what they're like... I thought best to leave well alone and went back to sleep.


I felt slightly foolish in the morning as it turned out we'd had a burglary.





Nothing obvious seemed to be missing. 

I checked the freezer and even my British bangers were untouched. Obviously a burglar without a refined sense of taste.

----------


## Headworx

Seen broken windows like that before when girls have let out almighty shrieks mid-orgasm. Just saying like..

----------


## Saint Willy

> It was a strange night last night...
> 
> 
> Sometime in the early hours I was awoken by a load of banging and clattering around that sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.
> 
> Now, my French colleague stopped smoking a few days ago and has since been a bit on edge... so I kind of figured she'd had a disaster in the kitchen and was taking it out on the pots and pans in a fit of Gallic temper. You know what they're like... I thought best to leave well alone and went back to sleep.
> 
> 
> I felt slightly foolish in the morning as it turned out we'd had a burglary.
> ...


Are you sure anyone entered? Perhaps it was just a rock thrown at you for being British?

----------


## lom

> Are you sure anyone entered? Perhaps it was just a rock thrown at you for being a geologist?


FTFY

Santa threw him a piece of gneiss

----------


## Mendip

^ It wasn't very gneiss at all!


This is why I feel a bit foolish...

My French colleague also heard the commotion but obviously knew it was nothing to do with her having a tantrum in the kitchen. And this all happened up her end of the building, just outside of her door and it must have been loud.

She went out and confronted this burglar, who she describes as a non-Scandinavian wearing a mask. He took off down the stairs.

She seems strangely reluctant to come knocking on my door at night... I can't understand why!  :Smile: 

Muhammed slept through the whole thing... and he doesn't even have the excuse of whisky!

----------


## Edmond

> Nothing obvious seemed to be missing.


Have you checked the stash of TD POTY trophies under the mattress? 


They know what they were after.

----------


## Mendip

Well, I've had some shit days in my time... and this has been one of them.

I've just finished hoovering up a load of shattered glass after getting back from work and finding that the window had been boarded up, but it was too much trouble for anyone to clear up the mess.

But this was just the icing... 

I get into work at 6:45am as usual but my key pass doesn't work. I phone a security number, but no answer. I have to wait until 8am in the freezing cold for a local to turn up who has the same problem... but he knew who to contact. It turned out they rebooted all the server during the night and it messed up the alarm system.

Anyway, no biggy.... an hour less in front of the screens.

 Mid morning I get an email from the Thai Embassy in London saying that they can't help me with the ammended CoE I need, since I am now departing from Sweden - these are the same guys who indicated that all I had to do to change flights from a Bristol departure to a Gothenburg departure was to send in the revised itinerary and revised ASQ booking, no problem. I can't risk going back to the UK with another lockdown looming, so cancelled my original flights, changed my ASQ booking (because I've brought it all forward by two weeks) and rebooked for a mid January departure from Gothenburg, via Amsterdam to Bangkok. Besides... I can't even get back to the UK now with most flight cancelled due to the ban on incoming UK passengers across Europe.

The London embassy did suggest contacting the Thai Embassy in Stockholm.

 This I did, to get an email reply telling me they can't help me because my CoE was issued in London and they can't alter that.

So, I'm in a strange kind of situation... London can't help because my departure is from Sweden, and Stockholm can't help because my CoE was issued in the UK.

Meanwhile I've got flights and ASQ booked, but now have no CoE. I remember Thai Dhupp mentioning what a huge relief it was to eventually get off a plane in Bangkok and realise that it was all finally happening. I can see why... I'm feeling the strain of all this... there is always something to worry about, something that can go wrong... on top of the work I'm getting paid to do.

I had no fewer that nineteen emails today from a combination of the London and Stockholm Thai embassies. One thing I must say however, is that they have been extremely helpful and I just seemed to be stuck in a kind of bureaucratic limbo land. 

Just as I was starting to consider an early finish and walk to the Systembologet for a bottle of whisky, I had one more email from the Stockholm Thai embassy at 4:30pm. It was a one liner and said simply... 
_
'what is your phone number?'
_
I duly replied, and ten minutes later had a phone call from a fantastically helpful chap in Stockholm. He appreciated completely the problem, but also said it may not be resolvable in the time frame... since I need the previous CoE to be wiped from the system before starting again, and there's loads of holidays coming up... and these things apparently remain on the system for 15 days. But, I'd also had an email from London saying that they had already unlocked my previous application... so maybe it was coming together?

Anyway, I have now started the CoE application process all over again through the Stockholm embassy... and at least the initial part has so far gone through and I have my six digit number which is needed to check application progress. My man at the Stockholm embassy also gave me his name to use on any emails that would then be directed towards him, and said to keep him updated.

So fingers crossed... maybe a new CoE before the New Year.

Then all I'll have to do is sort out a PCR test... which is another work in progress. They are under huge demand just now.

----------


## Dillinger

^ Sounds like someone, maybe that burglar has stolen the jam out of your teacake today mate :Smile:  Don't worry, you'll be sitting there in Thailand soon, for the start of Songkran, in the same clothes, laughing about all of this. :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

That call sounds bladdy helpful, what a treasure! Keep that bloke’s number on speed dial!

----------


## OhOh

> telling me they can't help me because


Think of it as your first visit to your local Grade C TIO. The first "cannot do" discussion.




> the initial part has so far gone through and I have my six digit number which is needed to check application progress


This your grade B TIO who has accepted your application for processing 




> My man at the Stockholm embassy also gave me his name to use on any emails that would then be directed towards him, and said to keep him updated.


You now have TIO's name and number. Which is, as RKW suggests:




> That call sounds bladdy helpful,


Now awaiting Bangkok's approval. Who has already approved your return to Thailand, albeit from the UK.

Tis just a flesh wound.

You'll have your arms around your family, your dogs baying for a pat and a bottle of Thai beer in you hand in a few fleeting weeks.

Get the test/doctor's certificate organised and some new socks bought.

----------


## Mendip

> Don't worry, you'll be sitting there in Thailand soon, for the start of Songkran, in the same clothes, laughing about all of this.


Maybe, but I won't be wearing these socks, that's for sure. 

I'm gonna burn them as soon as I get home... unless the gardener wants them.






> ... and some new socks bought.


What's all this about socks... I despise socks almost as much as I hate jumpers.

I'm hoping not to need any socks at all during 2021...


Anyway, this was my status with the Thai embassy in London yesterday afternoon...



I made a new application and uploaded documents for a CoE at the Thai embassy in Stockholm after close of play last night.

At 10.00am this morning I had an email saying my application had been approved, and to upload flight and ASQ documents.

At 12:30pm I had an email saying my new application was successful!



Is this a world record?

I'm a happy chappy today and will be off to the Systembologet straight after work!

----------


## Saint Willy

Duck yeah, I’d be getting a taxi to the airport ASAP with that printed out my friend!!!

----------


## Mendip

^ 14 Jan I leave... the CoE is linked to a flight and ASQ booking and I'm not gonna risk another change. 

Besides, I still have work to do... but I'm definitely on the countdown now.

15 days and counting...

What with quarantine and stuff, could be home before February!

----------


## Saint Willy

:party43:

----------


## nidhogg

Good news mendip.

----------


## OhOh

> I'm hoping not to need any socks at all during 2021...


Oh so true.

Congratulations.

I was amazed similar to you with Thai Embassy service.




> I'm definitely on the countdown now.


This maybe long before your time the anticipation is as real for you now as it was for our family back then.




Have a safe journey back to Thailand.

----------


## TheMadBaron

Excellent news! I'm happy for you.

Is a ginger chew with pomegranate not as disgusting as it sounds?

----------


## Mendip

^ They're surprisingly not too bad. 

And thanks for the good wishes... if you're still posting from Portsmouth next summer I'll bring you a bag... I've promised me daughter a trip to see the HMS Victory.


I like to think of myself as a glass half empty kind of guy, so I'm sure something will go wrong, but for now it's all looking good so time to celebrate.

Off to the Systembologet straight after work... it just feels so wrong to be queuing  for alcohol at 5:30 in the afternoon.



And this is how we celebrate getting a CoE, Swedish style.

It was supposed to be sausage, egg and chips but my oven chips seem to have disappeared from the freezer... I can't believe the burglar came for them?



I had been saving my whisky for my French colleague, but as that seems like a forlorn hope I thought I may as well finish it up meself!

----------


## Joe 90

> I can't believe the burglar came from them?


Could have been worse and the burglar burgled your baked beans.

Congratulations and enjoy.

----------


## hallelujah

> ^ They're surprisingly not too bad. 
> 
> And thanks for the good wishes... if you're still posting from Portsmouth next summer I'll bring you a bag... I've promised me daughter a trip to see the HMS Victory.
> 
> 
> I like to think of myself as a glass half empty kind of guy, so I'm sure something will go wrong, but for now it's all looking good so time to celebrate.
> 
> Off to the Systembologet straight after work... it just feels so wrong to be queuing  for alcohol at 5:30 in the afternoon.
> 
> ...


A (half) full English for your tea with a pint of Heineken and a glass of whisky?

I'm not sure Gothenburg has ever seen such excess!

Make sure you don't get the brown sauce, whisky and lager mixed up after one too many though.  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> It was supposed to be sausage, egg and chips but my oven chips seem to have disappeared from the freezer


French fries and that is the only hint you get.  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

Congratulations Mendip on the CoE and Happy New Year to you & your family!

HNY to everyone as well. Cheers!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

14 days to go...


^^ Tell me it ain't so... that's got me thinking. Do you think she set the whole thing up to get her hands on my chips?

My colleague's preparing a 'French' New Years Eve meal today. It'll be interesting to see how it compares to my Christmas feast! I've certainly put the pressure on her.  :Smile: 


^ Thank you Katie, and Happy New Year to you! 

For now I'll just be happy to see the back of 2020.


All said and done, the CoE process has been remarkably straightforward and I could have done it a while ago... I think it was maybe back in October when flights became regularly available. But now that I've almost finished this trip it is a good feeling to have so much work under my belt. I won't have to worry about travelling away from Thailand for a long time. 

But I haven't even got there yet, of course.

Yesterday I also booked up my RT-PCR test and Fit to Fly exam for two days before my flight. They guarantee same day results, so I put a day in the bank for contingency. The certificates have to be issued within 72 hours of departure.

I'd already booked a test in Bristol, UK for my original flight and wasn't hopeful about getting my £149 back, but after an email they just said it would be refunded within a week. That was a nice surprise.

I ballsed up with my ASQ booking however. The booking with my original flight was for a room with a balcony at a nice Sukhumvit hotel. When I re-booked to fit with my revised flight they didn't have any rooms with balconies available, but upgraded me to a small suite, which I went with. Problem is... sometimes I get this weird feeling when I'm in a sealed hotel room with no balcony or opening window and with no air movement. I don't get this feeling very often, but when I do I just have to get out of the room until the feeling passes. Maybe it's some kind of claustrophobia? I've had some strange looks standing in hotel corridors in my underwear in the past, but I just have to get out the room when this happens. I sometimes get the same on boats when I just have to get out of my cabin. It's a horrible feeling and I don't want to risk 14 days quarantine in a sealed room when there's no option to get outside.

So, I rebooked the ASQ and now have a nice room with a big balcony, available from day one. To be honest now I'm very comfortable about the whole 14 day quarantine thing and it will be no problem with an open airy room... and if the food's any good I may offer to stay longer. Since it was strange circumstances, the original hotel didn't give me a refund but have offered the deposit on account until the end of 2022. This is fine because I regularly stay in Bangkok hotels anyway, so I think it's a good result.

----------


## nora tittoff

Good to see that things are starting to fall in place for you mate.

----------


## Shutree

> She went out and confronted this burglar, who she describes as a non-Scandinavian wearing a mask. He took off down the stairs.


Just catching up on your thread. You've had a busy week and  it seems like everything is coming together.

Miss France might not be seeking any advice but in case she asks, confronting a burglar inside the building is rarely a good idea. Clearly the culprit was out in the cold night, probably on drink or drugs. Just lock yourself in your room and call the police. She was lucky not to have been hurt. Of course, had she been attacked, you could have come to her rescue and she'd have swooned in your arms.

Enjoy your French dinner, maybe she'll offer something special for dessert.

Happy New Year.

----------


## TheMadBaron

> Maybe it's some kind of claustrophobia?


Yes, that's exactly what it is.

In the 80s I met a guy in his 70s who had experienced this just once in his life, when briefly enclosed, with otters*, in a space they were working in during the war - a hangar, IIRC. Nobody had anticipated a problem, and when there was one, there was nothing anybody could do about it. The experience had obviously traumatized him. Still, if that was the worst thing that WWII did to him, I guess he got off lightly.

* No, that bit's not literally true, but it's a TD tradition.

----------


## Mendip

^ It's really strange... I get it so rarely but when I do I just have to get out. Like I say, usually in a sealed hotel room or a cabin on a boat. Just the knowledge that I can get out may be enough, but I didn't want to risk it in an ASQ hotel room where getting out is no option.

I used to do a lot of caving with no problems what so ever. 

I just hope I never get it while flying. I haven't so far, so fingers crossed.

I once had it while having a CT Scan on my shoulder and I just had to get out of the tunnel. That was weird, and pissed off the nurses no end as we had to start again.

----------


## bsnub

Congrats Medip on getting your walking papers. I am sure your daughter is overjoyed.  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Personally, I'd save the homecoming news to as late as possible, possibly even make it a surprise. Which, would be a helluva good surprise and moment for all concerned.

----------


## Mendip

She knows that it's happening but I haven't given exact dates yet. To be honest if all goes well it's still a month away after quarantine, and that's a long time for a nine year-old.

I'll be glad not to be playing Skype 'rock scissors paper' every morning, that's for sure. She called me at 4am for a game today and thrashed me.

----------


## Mendip

> Just catching up on your thread. You've had a busy week and  it seems like everything is coming together.
> 
> Miss France might not be seeking any advice but in case she asks, confronting a burglar inside the building is rarely a good idea. Clearly the culprit was out in the cold night, probably on drink or drugs. Just lock yourself in your room and call the police. She was lucky not to have been hurt. Of course, had she been attacked, you could have come to her rescue and she'd have swooned in your arms.
> 
> Enjoy your French dinner, maybe she'll offer something special for dessert.
> 
> Happy New Year.


Thanks Shutree... and Happy New Year to you. I seem to remember promising you a small Chang in Bangkok when I get back, but can't for the life or me remember what it was for now.

Miss France isn't really the type to take to advice. She is quite... well... headstrong shall we say. I've taken to locking myself in my room at night with a box of red wine and Netflix turned up loud on my headphones. 

I wish she'd start smoking again... maybe it would relax her. To be honest I'm not surprised the burglar scarpered.

----------


## Saint Willy

> and that's a long time for a nine year-old.


Same age as my lass. Old enough to count the days of the month, and if she has a Teakdoor Mendip Mutt Calendar she can cross the days off as they pass. 

personally, I think that’s better than a surprise.

About 18 months ago I was separated from her (and the rest of the family) for 3 months and that was hard enough! I feel for you, but so pleased to see that the light is at the end of the tunnel!

----------


## Dillinger

> I wish she'd start smoking again... maybe it would relax her.


This French bint needs a real man.

You need to be more tenacious, like the French, like Pepe le Pew, not some lamedicked Yam Yam cuckold like Cyrille.

Get loads of cognac and garlic down you and just straight up ask her if theres "any chance of a fuck?",  

Or show her a subtitute you have for smoking and start lovingly slapping it around her face.

She'll love you for it.

----------


## Mendip

^ If it goes wrong it could be an awkward day in the office tomorrow.

To be honest I had a good chat with Mohammed last night. He's OK, easy company.

----------


## Dillinger

Hmmmmm :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> To be honest I had a good chat with Mohammed last night. He's OK, easy company.


is that what you call it these days? I can never keep up with the different euphuisms.

first the gardener, now Mohammad, I’m beginning to see a pattern.

better than a lawsuit from the Frenchie, don’t forget you’re not in Asia right now where those sort of advances are allowed. In fact der rigeour

----------


## panama hat

> Mohammed last night. He's easy.


Geez, Mendip.  It's high time you got back home
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Your gardener is missing you.   :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> I once had it while having a CT Scan on my shoulder and I just had to get out of the tunnel. That was weird, and pissed off the nurses no end as we had to start again.


Mendip I feel for you as I had a similar experience once in Singapore when having an MRI.
I had had them before and no issue but this time I got all the way in but then couldn't handle "it" whatever 'it" is and made them get me out.
I went back to the specialist and he was not happy that there had not been an MRI completed so he sent me back with instruction to get them to knock me out which I was OK with provided they didn't use a hammer to do it. They gave me an injection and it was all good.

Another time I was doing Underground safety training and was in the smoke chamber using the self rescuer and couldn't see and got panicked it was terrible.
When I eventually got out I informed them that in a real UG fire they would find my corpse.

Anyway good luck with your trip back home and have a Happy New Year's eve.

----------


## Mendip

^^ I can't help feeling my comment has been taken out of context!


Anyway, I just had to nip back to the accommodation to drop off my washing, and there is food laid out on the table...

That's not SPAM! This doesn't bode well for our French New Year's Eve meal.



I may not be a Gordon Blue chef, but at least my Christmas roast didn't come out of a tin!

I'm trying to keep an open mind...

----------


## Looper

Looks like she is setting up a second round of festive parsnip jousting Mendip.

Weapons at the ready...

My New Years party has been ruined by a NYE Covid-19 hoarding run on Tunnocks Teacakes

The shelf was bare and that was at $6 for a box of 6 (which works out at an extortionate $1 each)

----------


## Mendip

^ That's too bad.

Haven't you got weird Jaffa Cakes over there!

I've only ever seen McVitie's in a blue box.

Happy New Year Mr Looper!

----------


## Saint Willy

Happy new year gents, it’s pissing down here. Having an indoor family pyjama party

----------


## Looper

> Happy New Year Mr Looper!


Bonne Année Monsieur Mendip and may you plant your parsnip in a fertile furrow for 2021




> I once had it while having a CT Scan on my shoulder and I just had to get out of the tunnel.


I had a CT scan on my tusks last week but it was not a claustrophobic experience as the view was bucolic



My molars look like something from a horror movie

----------


## bsnub

Oh god. Leave it to Looper to kill the moment.

----------


## Mendip

Tomorrow I'll try and dig out the video of screws going into my shoulder bone so they could re-attach my rotator cuff tendon!

----------


## Dillinger

That looks pretty damn good, although just thinking about it gave me heartburn and those figs with all that duck fat... Thats gonna be sloppy tomorrow.

You need something like Tommy's coffee cake to firm it up




Eeeh, orange peel :ssssh:

----------


## Saint Willy

Agreed, that’s going to be an amazing treat! The French package food well! And that’s a shot load of foie gras! She’s going all out, Mendip! Prepare to get lucky! Fook off Mohammad real quick!

----------


## Mendip

^^ Those Tea Cakes didn't last long!

And you should be putting that cake out for the birds.

^ Mohammed was talking about Turkish kebabs and humus... I love that stuff.

What a New Year's Eve dilemma!

----------


## helge

Happy new year, MD

And now your next mission is to stay clear of the Covid, paper done and all.

Hope to see you posting from Isaan soonest

----------


## baldrick

> your next mission is to stay clear of the Covid


step away from the french plague rat and turkish super sreader

----------


## Mendip

13 days to go...


^ Mohamed comes from Egypt.


Happy New Year everyone... I'm glad it's all over now and I just have to finish up a few projects over the next 13 days, and stay Covid free.

Last night we had our French New Year's meal... I don't have a particularly refined sense of taste and couldn't help comparing the starter to a couple of slices of SPAM with a dab of Branston pickle.



The 'Duck out a Tin' was baked up with mushrooms, or champignons I guess...



Mohamed was concerned that the ducks weren't halal... so offered up a Turkish takeaway alternative.



It was a delicate balancing act for me because I didn't want to upset either the French or the Egyptian contingent. 

But of course I had to at least keep myself in with a chance... so...

The duck was plated up with carrots, parsnips and kale. No potatoes.



The duck meat just fell off the bone. It reminded me a bit of the duck palo we have back at home sometimes.



Just to be polite I had a small Turkish taster! I'm hoping to get a meal out of this today.



And then my French dessert!

But not the one I was hoping for... candied chestnuts by all accounts. Nice... but I'd have preferred a box of Quality Streets.



And a final surprise... all the way from France, and Mohamed wasn't partaking. This was more like it!



It was Mohamed's turn to choose a movie last night, and he went for 'Meet Dave', a God-awful film with Eddie Murphy and little people living in his head... it wouldn't have made Looper's Christmas Cracker list. It was absolute shite.

I fought it... but the whisky, wine and champers caught up with me... I woke up a couple of hours later to an empty room.

----------


## Saint Willy

> fought it... but the whisky, wine and champers caught up with me... I woke up a couple of hours later to an empty room.


 :rofl:  you old romantic! 

they both ditched you!

----------


## Edmond

Reckon Mo-Mo got the Bo-Bo  โป๊โป๊  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I don't know about that...




> and those figs with all that duck fat... Thats gonna be sloppy tomorrow.


But it was probably just as well. Dill called that one!

----------


## Looper

> It was a delicate balancing act for me because I didn't want to upset either the French or the Egyptian contingent.


I thought that French nosh looked pretty posh and impressive from the packaging photos yesterday Mendip.

But from the plated up pics I think I would have gone for Mohammed's halal fare

Nice champagne finish though.




> I'd have preferred a box of Quality Streets


I have just finished my first box of Quality Streets in many years.

Has anyone noticed that the blue ones taste like play doh?



I have no memory of this being the case on the many previous occasions I had Christmas Quality Streets years ago as a kid (and I ate my fair share of play doh too) so I am wondering if I have got a bad batch.

I am not sure if it is blue play doh they taste like or another colour as my play doh palate memory is not that refined.

(play doh is not as pungent as Proust's madeleine's)

----------


## armstrong

Is Frenchie walking like an Egyptian today?

----------


## Mendip

^ No, but I've been walking like a Mexican after all that duck fat!

----------


## TheMadBaron

> Has anyone noticed that the blue ones taste like play doh?


Coconut Éclair? Revolting.




> I have no memory of this being the case on the many previous occasions I had Christmas Quality Streets years ago as a kid (and I ate my fair share of play doh too) so I am wondering if I have got a bad batch.


Probably not... the sense of taste changes somewhat with puberty (there are reasons for this which are perhaps best not discussed here). Also, Nestlé keep mucking about with Quality Street. They introduced a new blue one last year, IIRC, but not the one in your pics.

----------


## Dillinger

> Has anyone noticed that the blue ones taste like play doh?


I couldn't think what the taste was. It is fukkin play do. :Smile: 

But as he says above, its not those ones you show, they are coconut. Its these creamy ones...



The little praline green triangles are still the best

----------


## Dillinger

> No, but I've been walking like a Mexican after all that duck fat!


Which of the below has Mo been walking around like  today? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ It'd be nice to have the chance to try one. At least yours are in a proper metal tin, not some kind of plastic container.

But them troosers look a bit tight mate... you sure you're still walking around ok after all those chocolates?  :Smile:

----------


## TheMadBaron

> Its these creamy ones...


Right.... Yes, I believe that's the chocolate caramel brownie, which was introduced for Christmas 2019, and yes, that's probably why Looper doesn't remember ones which tastes like Play-Doh.

I've never had the opportunity to try one, but I remember them being denounced as horrid at the time.... but then people complained when Nestlé ran out of them during lockdown and had to include extra orangey creams instead. It just goes to show, different strokes and all that.... I _like_ orangey creams. Now, those little praline green triangles, on the otter hand....




> The little praline green triangles are still the best


You are not alone in that opinion, and I respect it, but I will never understand. They're just nasty. I mean, _really_ nasty. You might as well just wrap a little turd in ugly green paper as far as I'm concerned.

Never mind politics and religion, the relative merits of Quality Street chocs is a divisive issue if ever there was one.

----------


## Dillinger

> them troosers look a bit tight mate... you sure you're still walking around ok after all those chocolates?


Those are my easy-down trackie bottoms.  :Smile:  I'm gonna make a concerted effort today to get out the house I think although I'm sure its colder than Sweden here. I can't remember the last time it was above 5  fuckin degrees.

----------


## Dillinger

> Right.... Yes, I believe that's the chocolate caramel brownie, which was introduced for Christmas 2019, and yes, that's probably why Looper doesn't remember ones which tastes like Play-Doh.
> 
> I've never had the opportunity to try one, but I remember them being denounced as horrid at the time.... but then people complained when Nestlé ran out of them during lockdown and had to include extra orangey creams instead. It just goes to show, different strokes and all that.... I like orangey creams. Now, those little praline green triangles, on the otter hand....
> 
>  Originally Posted by Dillinger 
> The little praline green triangles are still the best
> You are not alone in that opinion, and I respect it, but I will never understand. They're just nasty. I mean, really nasty. You might as well just wrap a little turd in ugly green paper as far as I'm concerned.
> 
> Never mind politics and religion, the relative merits of Quality Street chocs is a divisive issue if ever there was one.


This guy's a fuckin nutter, a loose cannon. Is that you Sid? :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Is that you Sid?


Let us hope not we just got rid of that wanker.

----------


## Mendip

12 days to go...

Elevenses at work today... nothing missing here PAG!  :Smile: 

Thanks to The British Shop!

----------


## PAG

> 12 days to go...
> 
> Elevenses at work today... nothing missing here PAG! 
> 
> Thanks to The British Shop!


Far too commercial for me........

----------


## Looper

^^perfect tea colour Mendip. Exactly the right amount of milk




> Yes, I believe that's the chocolate caramel brownie, which was introduced for Christmas 2019, and yes, that's probably why Looper doesn't remember ones which tastes like Play-Doh


This is good news

I have obviously failed to distinguish between the 2 different shades of blue by the light of the tree fairies in the lounge and the remaining blue criminals which are currently in quality street quality control quarantine can be released

The long square chocolate covered toffee fingers are bigger than I remember and the round toffee pennies are smaller...

 :Scratchchin:

----------


## Chico

Mendip hate to say it I certainly would of went Turkish, and just fantasized about Frenchie :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ He's Egyptian and I don't swing that way mate. 

Not sure Mohamed would be into it anyway, to be honest.

----------


## Mendip

One thing I like about having Christmas and New Year behind is that you can get back to eating some normal food again.

I'm not going to get into the whole 'French food is overrated and English food is way better' debate, but this was the best food I've had this year and I don't reckon it'll leave me sitting on the toilet for a day like that 'Duck out a Tin' did.



And all that talk about Quality Streets... I had to get a bag of Twists.

If you leave alone the Marsipan and Lakris ones they're not too bad.

----------


## Looper

> I have obviously failed to distinguish between the 2 different shades of blue by the light of the tree fairies


How could I confuse these 2



One is roundish and the other is oblongey

And the round one is a different hue of blue

It is greeney blue

Anyway, best to avoid the greeney bluey huey spewey ones

----------


## Looper

^^That has given me a hankerin for a fried egg and chips dinner tomorrow and luckily I still have 2 well charred BBQ beef snags left over from yesterday

I am not sure about peas with a fry up...

I think I will stick with Heinz beans but an interesting twist

You need to school Francoise in the art of the cholesterol artery-busting British fry up Mendip

----------


## OhOh

> it'll leave me sitting on the toilet for a day like that 'Duck out a Tin' did.


Yes, no other possible cause crossed anyone's mind.

When was your last eye check up?

The "D" and "T" keys are adjacent to the "F" on my keyboard.




> You need to school Francoise in the art of the cholesterol artery-busting British





> And that’s a shot load of foie gras!


At 44% fat it makes an enjoyable alternative

No cheese served?

----------


## cyrille

Mendip, when are these periods you have when working when you go a couple of months without booze and hardly notice? 

I haven’t noticed one evening without it on this gig. :Very Happy:

----------


## aging one

> Mendip, when are these periods you have when working when you go a couple of months without booze and hardly notice?
> 
> I havent noticed one evening without it on this gig.


He was dry on the ship or rig the first 3 months. Then got his gig in town... Ship and rigs are dry I do believe, he even noted years ago not so much.

----------


## Mendip

11 days to go...

^ That's right... my first eight weeks of this trip were dry... although it seems like an awfully long time ago now.

Most years I'd have at least four, 4 to 6 week dry offshore trips, no problem, but I'm well aware that I drink too much when on leave. It's not a lot (to my thinking!), and I'm up at 6 every morning for either office work in this case, or when at home for the school run. I know that it's enough to harm my health though, and as HW mentioned on Joe 90's thread, it can't be setting my daughter a good example. She's starting to notice these things now... and comment on them.

I'll sort it out when I get home... not give up, just keep if for the weekends. And no more Ya Dong!


Anyway, I had a busy day yesterday, although not doing what I'm being paid for...

According to OhOh's advice, I have prepared four identical sets of entry papers to get me into Thailand. This should mitigate any losses or mix-ups along the way. I've even printed out a set of all the application documents, just in case.

All I have to do is slip a negative PCR Covid test result and Fit to Fly certificate into each of the four wallets when the time comes. Then I'm good to go.

If I fail the Covid test at this stage I'll be well pissed off.

----------


## OhOh

I hope youve put them in the order as listed on the Embassy web page!

"Be Prepared" and stress doesn't show it's face.

You may be eligible for one of these:



*Explorer Activity Science & Technology Badge*

Conditions apply

_"Official Uniform Badges can only be purchased by warranted leaders. 
Your membership number must be included in your registration details, failure to do this will cause delay of your order."

Explorer Activity Science & Technology - The Scout and Guide Shop_

If one complete set survives your daughter could build a project around it for any "Show and Tell" sessions she may have at school.

Keep you "Original documents", at the top, in a second pouch in your backpack.

It's a pity this is closed:



*             "Society closed to visitors        * 

_Due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, Society staff are working remotely and can be contacted by telephone or email as usual.
_
_Our events and training programmes have moved online, and our Monday night lectures for Fellows and members are being live streamed each week."_

They may have booked you to give a lecture.

----------


## Mendip

^ That's pretty cool... I'll try and get one of those badges.

One of my sisters has a Blue Peter badge and I've always been jealous.

----------


## OhOh

"Be Prepared" and stress doesn't show it's face.

You may be eligible for one of these:



*Explorer Activity Science & Technology Badge*

Conditions apply

_"Official Uniform Badges can only be purchased by warranted leaders. 
Your membership number must be included in your registration details, failure to do this will cause delay of your order."

Explorer Activity Science & Technology - The Scout and Guide Shop_

If one complete set survives your daughter could build a project around it for any "Show and Tell" sessions she may have at school.

(there's only so many time one can chat to the Durian buds and flowers a day)

----------


## nidhogg

Hii Mendip - sorry about this, but you may need to follow up for clarity (British visitors versus visitors from Britain...).....

British visitors to be barred from entry

----------


## katie23

Hi Mendip, hope you get back to TH soon.

PI has also banned UK  (plus 19 other countries, including USA) from entering due to the new covid variant. Though the rules are not clear if it's all UK (or USA, etc) nationals, or just ppl travelling/ transiting from those countries. As nidhogg said, check with the proper authorities. Good luck!

----------


## Mendip

^^ Thanks Nid... this is starting to do me in.

I won't believe I'm actually going home until I walk through the door.

I'll send an email off to my pal at the Thai Embassy in Stockholm to see if he has any clarification... I can't believe they would ban British visitors... maybe those on flights/transits from/through the UK. But who knows.

I was already planning on getting a letter of guarantee from this company, also stating that I've been working in their Gothenburg offices since September 22nd (X4 letters... one for each wallet!). I could also get them to add that they flew me over from Thailand to Norway on 26th July, and my only time in the UK has been two days in a remote Somerset field back in September getting chased by bladdy cows. But I don't want it to be overly verbose.

It seems that even if I do get back to Bangkok there will be more hurdles. 


Korat quarantining travellers from 'red zones'


_'Therefore, on arriving in Nakhon Ratchasima people coming from "red zones" were required to have a health certificate and fill in a form seeking an entry permit before reporting to local health volunteers or community leaders. After that they must go into 14-day quarantine.

Korat residents could quarantine at home, and self-quarantine at the place they stay for non-Korat residents staying overnight or longer in the province.'_


My life in Korat is pretty much the same as being in home quarantine anyway, but I don't know what this will mean for my daughter going to school. It never ends.

----------


## lom

> I'll send an email off to my pal at the Thai Embassy in Stockholm to see if he has any clarification... I can't believe they would ban British visitors... maybe those on flights/transits from/through the UK.


I've read a wording different from the one quoted out of Bangkok Post, it said that arrivals from Britain is stopped not that British visitors are banned. Hope you get a positive clarification from the embassy!

----------


## OhOh

> British visitors versus visitors from Britain.


_
"The Ministry of Public Health will ask the Centre for Covid-19 Situation  Administration (CCSA) to defer the entry of British visitors to the  country"

British visitors to be barred from entry_ 

If you review the IATA site there are two types of entry into Thailand, available to a UK citizen:

1. Section 1.

Passengers who are the spouse ..... of a Thai national.

No visit time limit stated.

and 

2. Section 2 D

Passengers whose UK passport states the holder is a "British Citizen".

30 day time limit.

Mendip is a type one. An so far as he knows virus free.

However 




> I can't believe they would ban British visitors... maybe those on flights/transits from/through the UK. But who knows.


British tourists easy. Foreigner's with Thai spouse, but only from the UK, doubtful.




> I was already planning on getting a letter of guarantee from this company, also stating that I've been working in their Gothenburg offices since September 22nd (X4 letters... one for each wallet!).my only time in the UK has been two days in a remote Somerset field back in September


Yes, but omit the travel to UK sentence.




> Therefore, on arriving in Nakhon Ratchasima people coming from "red zones" were required to have a health certificate and fill in a form seeking an entry permit before reporting to local health volunteers or community leaders. After that they must go into 14-day quarantine.


At home for you I would suggest.

The ASQ will issue you with a "certificate" and you will carry one of your "travel packs" in your bag, full of Thai embassy/MOFA colourful papers, right.

How many provinces will travel across? The ASQ will  photocopy some more "travel packs". :Smile: 

You will also receive another certificate mailed to your resident address stated on your COE a week or so later.

Regarding the future movements, I'm told by my wife today one has to obtain a "pass" from the local district office to enter the adjacent province, Chanthaburi, and back into Trat province. An "Essential" reason must be defined. Chanthaburi has some cases I'm told.

I suspect another package or two of colourfully stamped papers may be required.
 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## OhOh

A timid 




has left another red stained dropping.

----------


## Mendip

Another hurdle crossed...

 :Smile: 


_Dear Mendip,

Thank you for your email, Please be advised that you're still able to travel to Thailand with your British Passport as you are travelling from SWEDEN not from the UK ( as shown in your COE document )

Everyone travelling from overseas to Thailand must be quarantined for 14-16 days by the law and you are able to return home to KORAT afterward.

Regards,

Thai Consular Team_

----------


## nidhogg

^ Brilliant news mate.  Hoped that was the case, but best to check.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm on a roll now... nothing can stop me!  :Smile: 


Many thanks for pointing it out Nid... I wonder what will be next?

As usual the Thai embassy replied promptly and have been extremely helpful throughout.

----------


## Edmond

Good job Mendy  :tumbs:

----------


## OhOh

> I wonder what will be next?


How are you intending to travel from BK to Korat?

----------


## Mendip

^ I haven't got as far as planning that yet.

Taxi or bus I guess. It certainly won't be a train again.

----------


## Saint Willy

Hitchhike, walk it if you have to! But once in country all is good!

----------


## Happy As Larry

> but I don't know what this will mean for my daughter going to school. It never ends.


Give it a day or two and you wont have to worry about schools as they'll all be closed.

Even here in Surin which so far has reported 2 cases all schools in the town are now closed for 1 or 2 weeks.

Apparently they are all closed in the 28 'red zone' provinces

----------


## Edmond

> How are you intending to travel from BK to Korat?





> I haven't got as far as planning that yet.
> 
> Taxi or bus I guess.


Calling Aging One. Help a forumite out bud. 


Just watch Mendy doesn't clean out yer drink's cabinet and bugger off in the middle of the night like the last lad.  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Just watch Mendy doesn't clean out yer drink's cabinet in the middle of the night and bugger off like the last lad.


Small cabinet or skilled drinker ? 

Do tell  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

I'll let AO finish that story.  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

There are no restrictions between travelling between provinces. There are check points, allegedly, but I've past a few of the places where they're meant to be and they were all having a nap.

----------


## bsnub

> I'll let AO finish that story.


Can I can? It is 0918 here and I am piss drunk. It has been pouring rain here for days.

----------


## Edmond

> I'll let AO finish that story.





> Can I can?


You can...... but you probably wouldn't know it.




> Join DateJun 2009


Ya newbie.  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Ya newbie.


You think that was my first nic punk?

 :smiley laughing: 


Get real mao...

----------


## Joe 90

> Can I can? It is 0918 here and I am piss drunk. It has been pouring rain here for days.


Respect :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

9 days to go...


We had a bit of snow last night, but it didn't come to anything. Tomorrow is Epiphany, a public holiday in Sweden. I hope they use the time to take down all the Christmas decorations. Bah humbug.



I'm trying to take a few more photos before I leave next week. Here's another container ship being unloaded at Gothenburg docks this morning.

I'd like to say that after all this time I'll miss these views once I'm gone... but I won't in the fukkin slightest. 

It was minus 2 walking in today and my freshly washed hair had ice in it by the time I arrived at the office.




I got my LOI (Letter of Guarantee) from the company today to cover my travel, with the added text stating that I've been in Gothenburg since September... just in case there are any problems travelling with a British passport. I printed off four copies, one for each of my travel wallets! There really is nothing left to do now, other than get a negative Covid test result and a Fit to Fly certificate next week. I must admit I'm not getting a lot of work done now... I seem to spend most of my time looking at my travel wallets and thinking about getting off the plane in Bangkok next Friday.

My mind is also drifting to projects with my daughter once I get back home in Korat...

I picked up these last night.



There is a saying that you can give a man a fish and he can have tea, give him a fishing rod and he can have tea every night. I think in the same VEIN... give a kid a conker and she can learn to play conkers. Grow a Horse Chestnut Tree and she can play conkers every year. Well, at least her kids'll be able to. So there's my first project, right there.

----------


## aging one

> Just watch Mendy doesn't clean out yer drink's cabinet and bugger off in the middle of the night like the last lad.


So you remember the tall tale of Sensible? :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Ai Ai, Cap'ain.


Is Snubs claiming he had a previous nik on here?  :Smile:

----------


## HuangLao

> Ai Ai, Cap'ain.
> 
> 
> Is Snubs claiming he had a previous nik on here?



Oh dear. 
Not even close to resemblance - even if he was giving his best shot at faking it.

----------


## OhOh

> Grow a Horse Chestnut Tree


Can they grow in Korat?

----------


## Mendip

^ Probably not, but that's what makes it such fun.

Ask me again in six months...

----------


## Saint Willy

Serious countdown!

----------


## helge

> Can they grow in Korat?


Couldn't in Khon Kaen

Only scandi thing to grow well in Isaan, is your liver  :Sad:

----------


## Mendip

^ You tried it Helge?

That's interesting... I must admit I thought conkers would be too complicated for you guys.


Anyway, my French colleague finishes her rotation tomorrow, but intriguingly is staying here until Sunday. I could see that she was a bit overloaded today... trying to finish stuff up plus do her handover, so as I left early and I'm a considerate kind of guy I said I'd cook something up for her so she didn't have to think about food. I'm just too nice at times, and just like Joe 90... I'm no quitter!

I made up my famous (in my house anyway) spaghetti carbonara. I even left her a message written in French... that's how good I am!

I mean... what girl could resist that.

Then I retreated to my room to watch some shite on Netflix and wait for that little knock on the door.



After my shower my phone buzzed and I thought... fuk me, here we go... the spaghetti worked!  :Smile: 

But it was my project coordinator on Microsoft Teams, sitting somewhere in fukkin west coast of America and just getting started and full of beans as I was finishing up for the day. And then me Russian colleague got involved with this 'chat' from his home somewhere in the arse end of Eastern Russia, I guess 2 or 3 hours in front of Europe and no doubt three sheets to the wind on vodka. This was all about some potential obstruction to a pipe lay in the fukkin Norwegian Sea next year.

I must admit, I could do without these work 'chats' in the evenings but it is pretty amazing what is possible now. 

And I'm still waiting for that knock on my door.

----------


## Joe 90

> And I'm still waiting for that knock on my door.


You should have followed "Bon Appetite "
With...pour le désert frappe à ma porte..

----------


## Mendip

^ I just had to copy that into Google translate. Yeah, that would have been an idea.

I thought of putting a Smiley Face on my note, but didn't even do that.

Maybe I'm just too subtle?

----------


## Dillinger

theres another you're missing...

Spotted dick

Hehe

----------


## OhOh

> And I'm still waiting for that knock on my door.


She did politely tap on your door and quietly whispered, "mon ami, mon ami, je suis ici". She listened for your footsteps but overheard your Russian conversation. 

Imagining you whispering Russian obscenities to her breasts it sent here to paradise and squirted, whilst whispering, "je suis venu, je suis venu, Je jouis, Je jouiiiiiiiiiiiiii ".

Check for a damp patch outside your door.

Slide a note, under her door, "Второй раунд сегодня вечером?"

----------


## TheMadBaron

> My mind is also drifting to projects with my daughter once I get back home in Korat...
> 
> I picked up these last night.
> 
> 
> 
> There is a saying that you can give a man a fish and he can have tea, give him a fishing rod and he can have tea every night. I think in the same VEIN... give a kid a conker and she can learn to play conkers. Grow a Horse Chestnut Tree and she can play conkers every year. Well, at least her kids'll be able to. So there's my first project, right there.


I guess those would be the seeds of _Aesculus_ _hippocastanum_, which is the only horse chestnut species native to Europe....




> Can they grow in Korat?


Probably not. Mendip might have more luck with _Aesculus__ assamica_, the horse chestnut found in NW Indo-China, S. China, NE Pakistan, Bhutan and *Northern Thailand*, the seeds of which also make very effective melee weapons for small children to play with (or conkers, as we Brits like to call them)....






> Probably not, but that's what makes it such fun.


Why, yes, introducing alien species is potentially tremendous fun for everyone (just ask my neighbours about Japanese knotweed)! It's also highly irresponsible and completely illegal, of course, which is why there are signs at airports warning against that sort of thing. But what could possibly go wrong?

 :Banghead:

----------


## TheMadBaron

> (just ask my neighbours about Japanese knotweed)


Actually, just ask them about COVID-19....

----------


## Mendip

^^ That is a good point... I'll keep them in a pot until they die, if they even germinate that is.

My guess is they'll go the same way as the Rosemary I've tried umpteen times to get to grow... germinate then shrivel up and go black.

----------


## panama hat

> I even left her a message written in French


Except you mis-spelled it  :rofl:

----------


## Mendip

^ That explains yet another failure!

I was wondering how any girl could resist my spaghetti carbonara.

----------


## TheMadBaron

> ^^ That is a good point... I'll keep them in a pot until they die, if they even germinate that is.


Then what's the bloody point?  :Very Happy: 

Bake 'em, drill 'em, string 'em, and encourage your daughter to terrorize the neighbourhood boyz with 'em. And buy yourself a nice Thai conker tree for the garden.

----------


## Mendip

8 days to go...


Nothing says it's time to get back to Thailand more than my view out of the office window today.

It's minus 1 and snowing, and I'm out of food so have to walk up to the shop tonight.

And I'm nearly out of tea bags.

----------


## Edmond

Anybody else want to write their name on that roof with their pee?  :Smile:

----------


## misskit

Not me.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

-1 snowing, and you don't have a jacket?

Completely, bonking made.

----------


## bsnub

> snowing, and you don't have a jacket?


He is British.  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> -1 snowing, and you don't have a jacket?
> 
> Completely, bonking made.



No need for one there's only 8 days to go.

----------


## Mendip

^ Only 7 days to go now Ootai... and by my arithmetic that's just a week!

Only 7 more nights here...

I'll miss it when I've gone... NOT!



When I came outside this morning there were tracks in the snow outside the door. I've got a really good tracking book at home that shows all the different spoor animals leave. Wish I'd brought it now.

I'm pretty sure this is hare... there's a few hopping around most mornings.



This I think is deer. He must have been snuffling around in the night eating my conkers. This is right under the horse chestnut tree.



And that is where he came from.



They're a hardy lot, these Swedes. This girl jogged past while I was having enough trouble just staying vertical. I had a plate of spaghetti carbonara for my lunch in one hand and my phone in the other... nearly went over a few times and lucky I made it in at all, to be honest. It was sheet ice where the snow plough had been.



Dog...



Human...



And bicycle. But WTF goes cycling in this?

----------


## Dillinger

> This I think is deer. He must have been snuffling around in the night eating my conkers. This is right under the horse chestnut tree.


I just read Horse chestnuts are poisonous to horses funnily enough... but some deer and wild boar can stomach them. Doubt they'd be good around your mutts...
Can You Eat Conkers? And Other Conker Facts - Woodland Trust.

And those footprints outside your window...look like a goodbye greeting from Mo  and the Mademoiselle :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

^   :rofl:

----------


## Shutree

> Only 7 more nights here...
> 
> 
> 
> And bicycle. But WTF goes cycling in this?


Firstly, I do hope your final week and then travel all go to plan.

Secondly, isn't that track a bit close to the fence to be a bicycle. Not that I have any better suggestions. Best call in the TD CSI team.

----------


## Mendip

You got me thinking Shutree, so I went outside to check. I'm having real trouble getting much work done now.

These strange tracks lead in and out from a small bicycle park, and interestingly since early this morning there are a few more tracks as well.

I imagine that maybe someone wheeled out their bike before jumping on and cycling off, although to be fair I haven't actually seen a bicycle yet.

----------


## Edmond

> I imagine that maybe someone wheeled out their bike before jumping on and cycling off


which judging by the complete lack of footprints prints, is a flying man.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ That's a very good point as well.

Maybe we need Joe 90's input? I have no idea how close it's possible to cycle past a fence.

----------


## Shutree

> I have no idea how close it's possible to cycle past a fence.


You could use your last few days to experiment.

 :Smile: 

Since the tracks are in and out of a bicycle park it doesn't seem useful to enquire further. Although the lack of footprints is intriguing ...

----------


## Shutree

> the lack of footprints is intriguing ...


Upon closer inspection, that looks like one footprint, on the line of the fence. Maybe a very tall cyclist with a very long stride.

----------


## Edmond

Put down a bear-trap and hide it under the snow.






You'll soon get your answer.

----------


## Mendip

> And those footprints outside your window...look like a goodbye greeting from Mo  and the Mademoiselle


Ha ha! But who's to say those aren't my footprints!

The big ones that is, not the small ones. I want to be quite clear on that.

----------


## David48atTD

> Ha ha! But who's to say those aren't my footprints!
> 
> The big ones that is, not the small ones. I want to be quite clear on that.



Does the Gardiner wear smaller shoes than you?




















I'll get my coat ... and shoes  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Ha ha! But who's to say those aren't my footprints!
> 
> The big ones that is, not the small ones. I want to be quite clear on that.



 :rofl:

----------


## PAG

> Ha ha! But who's to say those aren't my footprints!
> 
> The big ones that is, not the small ones. I want to be quite clear on that.


Who are you trying to kid........

----------


## Headworx

The smaller footprints look like men's shoes too...

----------


## OhOh

> It was sheet ice where the snow plough had been.


7 days and you'll be wearing these:

----------


## TheMadBaron

> I'm pretty sure this is hare... there's a few hopping around most mornings.


Here hare here



Probably your _Lepus europaeus._

----------


## Joe 90

> ^ That's a very good point as well.
> 
> Maybe we need Joe 90's input? I have no idea how close it's possible to cycle past a fence.


Could be one of those new fangled electric scooters.

Or bmx rider doing bunny hops.

----------


## Joe 90

> The smaller footprints look like men's shoes too...


Mo's a big lad :smiley laughing:

----------


## Looper

^That would have been a bruising and punishing game of conkers if those are Mo's size 13s bringing up the rear

----------


## hallelujah

I bet your daughter is loving those pics of the snow.

----------


## Mendip

^ Thank you for a civilised post Hal... yes, she's very jealous of me being in the snow although for obvious reasons she doesn't look at the pics on this thread. I send them to her separately on Skype.

And the reason she doesn't read this?

In the morning I write an informative post about northern European wild animal spoor, and by the evening her old man is being shagged up the arse by an Egyptian.

You've gotta be very careful in this place.  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

Hahahahahaha

You know now for the future that you have to be careful when someone asks you if you wanna see the Sphinx(ter).

----------


## TheMadBaron

> she doesn't look at the pics on this thread.


How could you know that, though?




> I send them to her separately on  Skype.


Kids are cyber savvy these days; she probably has image search as a browser add-on. She's probably going to right-click on  a Skype photo and "search Google for image." So, she'll find this  thread.... and she'll enjoy reading about herself.... and she won't  know what to make of Dillinger's footprints pic, or the subsequent  comments, but....




> her old man is being shagged up the arse by an  Egyptian.


.... yeah, that's perfectly clear, I reckon she'll understand that.  :Very Happy: 

I'm joking! She found this forum years ago.

----------


## Saint Willy

No she ain’t, she’ll be playing Roblox and Minecraft, watching YouTube and chatting to dad on Skype.

----------


## Joe 90

True enough KW.

I google searched one of those images and it came back as a Racoon.

That google picture search is a load of bollocks.

----------


## deeks

deeks

----------


## Edmond

> You've gotta be very careful in this place.


It's advisable not to open up your repo on the BTS or other public places.  :Smile:

----------


## TheMadBaron

> That google picture search is a load of bollocks.


Depends how you use it.... try this.

----------


## Mendip

Only 6 days to go... 

Another wintry walk in this morning. The snow went a bit slushy yesterday then froze overnight... and is now getting covered by a dusting of fresh snow.

It was absolutely lethal... like walking on ice.

Yet I still got overtaken by a jogger and two cyclists. I'll say one thing for the Swedes... they have an amazing sense of balance. I reckon these guys would be good in a circus.



And yet as well balanced as they are, if I could pick one fault... they're a bit slack at taking down the Christmas decorations. They even get a day off on Epiphany just for the purpose.



But anyway, at least that little mystery has been put well and truly to bed!



Now that I've only got six days left I can start saying things like 'this time next week I'll be going into quarantine', etc etc. It helps me pass the time.

The only thing standing between me and my departure is a negative Covid test result next Tuesday.

My French friend flies back to Nice on Sunday and so took a PCR test yesterday. The Netherlands demand a negative Covid test (within 72 hours of departure) to visit, or to even just transit through Schiphol. While many European countries are demanding negative Covid tests for visitors, the UK is still in the 'thinking about it' stage, of course. Dithering, bungling Boris.

She gets the results this afternoon and it's a bit nerve racking to be honest, since if any one of us... Mademoiselle, Mohamed or Myself is positive for Covid, there's a good chance we all will be. That's our 'bubble' in that shitty student accommodation. While I certainly haven't been close enough to exchange STDs, I've shared a knife for our cheese and crackers and there's been an occasional, inadvertent, fleeting contact when brushing past in the kitchen, and that's all Covid needs.

This brings back long ago memories of hoping a girl gets a negative test result!  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

> I still got overtaken by a jogger and two cyclists.


How fast exactly do you walk without a coat on? :Smile:  You made a snow angel yet? :Smile: 

Got a nice little dusting here last night.



You'll miss it when you get back to Korat sat there with your sweaty nutsack in the gardeners quarters supping  warm 
beer  Chang. :Smile: 

Where do you have to do your quarantine in Thailand?

Hotel in Bangkok or back home in Korat.

My missus was put up in a nice 5 star in Hat Yai, paid for by the Thais. They do look after their own. It sure beat my Premier Inn near Cyrille's home town :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

> My French friend flies back to Nice on Sunday



Oooh...Tonight's probably your last hope of any amour with the Frenchie then, if you can get past  Big Mo and his grande saucisson :Smile:

----------


## PAG

^

----------


## Mendip

^^^ You're right of course... not about me having a sweaty nutsack but I know after I've been back in Korat for a week, sweating me balls off while cleaning out the chickens... that the feeling of being too cold will quickly become a distant memory. Just like I can hardly remember what it feels like to be too hot right now.

Looks like you could do with borrowing the gardener to sweep up all those leaves?

Your daughter must be chuffed to see all that snow!

I have to quarantine for 14 days in a hotel in Bangkok. Not cheap either to be honest, but hopefully I'll pick up a couple of days work while I'm confined.

Not sure what'll happen when I get back to Korat... if I'll be supposed to home quarantine after coming from Bangkok? But let's face it, if all I do is sit with the dogs having a Leo it doesn't make a lot of difference!

----------


## Mendip

FFS... you've gotta type fast in this game.

I'll see how 'Frenchie's' Covid test turns out before planning the evening.

'Big Mo' is going shopping tonight.

And PAG??? I mean... FFS...  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> 'Big Mo' is going shopping tonight.


Does he have a photo of his harem for you to select from?

----------


## Mendip

And another FFS... real winter seems to be setting in.

I can't help thinking, 'this time next week...'





I guess at least there should be some good animal tracks in the morning.

We must be a good 4 inches now.

----------


## Mendip

What complete wankers some people are...

My daughter goes to my mate's house on a Friday night to play with his son. When I'm at home we sit in the garden and guzzle Leo but he's kindly continued to host my daughter while I've been away.

As I was busy working away trying to get stuff finished up this afternoon he sent me this...

Apparently me daughter had broken his fancy curved screen TV.



I'm mortified... offer to buy a new one, etc etc...

Complete tossers, the lot of 'em.

----------


## bsnub

> Complete tossers, the lot of 'em.


 :smiley laughing:  

She is getting excited to see you. As I get older I realize how lucky you lot with kids are. 




> While I certainly haven't been close enough to exchange STDs


Well mate just wear a mask you can not catch COVID-19 from sexual contact.  :Smile:

----------


## Looper

> While I certainly haven't been close enough to exchange STDs


You don't need to use any prophylactics if Françoise is just playing with your conkers

----------


## Mendip

^ Well I'm game... so long as she doesn't want to skewer them with a red hot knitting needle and hang 'em on a piece of string!

----------


## TheMadBaron

> I'm mortified... offer to buy a new one, etc etc...
> 
> Complete tossers, the lot of 'em.


 :smiley laughing: 

Did you seriously fall for that? There are half a dozen things wrong with that image, not least of which is that your (laughing) daughter seems like a nice kid, not Kali, Goddess of Destruction.

----------


## Dillinger

> I'm game... so long as she doesn't want to skewer them with a red hot knitting needle and hang 'em on a piece of string!


I'd have  thought she'd need something far more robust than string, to carry the most lightly used conkers on TD.

That Frenchie will think she's back on the rig striking oil.














 :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

Bon appetite  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

^^ FFS... that is so wrong. That's my Coco's head you've stuck on that. Have you no shame?

And Bon appetite to you Joe... you sure you're not full after eating that 22 pence rainbow trout?   :Smile: 


Anyway, I've had enough of this bloody place now, I just want to get back to Thailand where I understand what's going on.

'Frenchie' as you call her had a negative Covid test, but she can have bubonic plague for all I care. Maybe Brexit wasn't such a bad idea after all.

I ate alone on my last Friday night in Gothenburg. Made a lot of effort and had big plans for this meal as well.



Even got two puddings in, but bollocks, I'm gonna eat them both meself.



Yeah, I just want to get away now, bollocks to it all. You just can't rely on these French.

----------


## Saint Willy

Last night? Phark yeah, gotta be happy with that! Safe travels mate!

----------


## Joe 90

> Maybe Brexit wasn't such a bad idea after all.


 :UK:  :smiley laughing: 

Peas and cherry tomatoes, respect. 


Not long now mate, you'll be laughing about all this next month.

Nice to see your daughter has inherited your sense of humour.

----------


## Saint Willy

How long did they leave you hanging between pictures of the broken tv and letting you know it was a joke?

----------


## Mendip

Only 5 days to go...


^ Not too long thankfully. 

He's a good mate... he's Welsh but he's still OK.

So, 'Frenchie' getting a negative Covid test result for her travels is good news. Means that hopefully our 'bubble' is Covid free.

My PCR test is set for Tuesday morning, flights are on Thursday. The Covid test has to be within 72 hours of departure.

And nothing says it's time to get back home more than this... perfect timing.

----------


## Saint Willy

And you still haven’t bought a junper

----------


## Saint Willy



----------


## helge

> he's Welsh but he's still OK.


Best brits.

Irish and scots ok too

----------


## Mendip

^^ That's a mighty fine calendar you have there KW.

A3 format and printed on top quality card as well!



Only 4 days to go...


And then there were two...

'Frenchie' departed for Nice today leaving only me and Mohamed, or 'Big Mo' as he now seems to be called. I'm hoping for a decent Turkish kebab tonight.


I had a strange incident yesterday that I will probably regret posting about, but it may serve as a warning to others regarding the perils of online shopping, and also the danger to your mental health of working too long and becoming a bit unhinged. In my defense I have been away from home for an awfully long time.

Back when the plan was still to visit my mum in the UK I was sending a lot of online shopping back to her house, the plan being to pick up the presents to take back to Thailand for a late Christmas celebration. 

Ever the optimist, amongst these presents was a _'Women's Sexy Santa Christmas Lingerie Set'!_

Yeah I know... I may be getting on a bit but I'm not too old to get into the festive spirit! Although sadly it's usually only Dan who actually gets to wear this stuff. 



Anyway, I of course forgot all about this. 

Once it was decided that I was going directly home from Gothenburg, my mum sent off a load of these Christmas presents to my family in Korat.

Yesterday my nine year-old daughter received the most inappropriate present ever from her Nan!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

:smiley laughing:  :smiley laughing:  :smiley laughing: 





> ^^ That's a mighty fine calendar you have there KW.



It sure is, and now I have two dog calendars, because I got a free calendar from an animal rescue home after I made them a donation as promised.

----------


## bsnub

OMG. 

 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Dillinger

Oh dear, pray tell she hasn't found the gardener's crotchless elf costume :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Oh dear, pray tell she hasn't found the gardener's crotchless elf costume


Or his special beads...

 ::doglol::

----------


## Mendip

^ He told me they were special seeds... I don't know what to think now.


Anyway, only 3 days to go and I'm looking forward to another PCR test tomorrow. If I pass that there's no stopping me!

If I get a positive test I really will be pissed off.


And who needs the French? 

I shared the best meal of the year with Mohamed last night.



And I have to use up the last of my cider stock... my dry January starts on Friday!

----------


## ootai

> Ever the optimist, amongst these presents was a _'Women's Sexy Santa Christmas Lingerie Set'!_
> 
> Yeah I know... I may be getting on a bit but I'm not too old to get into the festive spirit! Although sadly it's usually only Dan who actually gets to wear this stuff. 
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, I of course forgot all about this. 
> 
> Once it was decided that I was going directly home from Gothenburg, my mum sent off a load of these Christmas presents to my family in Korat.
> ...



There is a saying that laughter is the best medicine so thank you Dr Mendip for a dose of the best medicine!
I can't remember the last time I laughed so much.

Good luck with the test.

----------


## Mendip

As any offshore worker knows, once you get the channels that's it. 

After six months the channels has well and truly kicked in for me and with the end in sight I may as well not bother even going into the office for the last couple of days... but I do of course for the dosh.

I've got three nights left in Gothenburg and had the classic dilemma tonight after walking for 40 minutes in the freezing sleet to the Systembologet after work... do I get a 2 litre box of wine or a 3 litre box of wine?

After a few nanoseconds thought I went with the 3 litre... nothing worse than running out on your last night!

Tomorrow morning I have my PCR test... negative and its all on, positive and I don't know what I'll do. I'm assuming it'll be negative as I know one thing, I'm finished for work, my head is fried and I have no-where else to go if I can't get on that flight to Bangkok on Thursday. And lets face it, I've been working for six months, by bollocks are the size of footballs and I'll be humping lamp posts soon. You called that one Mr Dillinger, but you didn't have to use Coco's head.

Had a good chat with Mohamed tonight... nice food, much easier company and he doesn't drink all my booze. If we think Covid is bad in Europe, spare a thought for an Egyptian living with three generations under one roof and a premature baby... he's been away from home for four months and is desperately worried. It's bad every where. 

But you can always keep your sense of humour.

I had a 'Teams' meeting today and I started by saying that I'd be a bit late at work tomorrow because I had a Covid test first thing. 

I was told, 'We hope you've revised for it'!

How we laughed. 

The Scandinavians have a great sense of humour and I will definitely miss Gothenburg and the Swedes. 

And I know one thing, if I do get a positive test result and get stuck here, they will sort me out.

But I just want to go home now.

----------


## Saint Willy

> But I just want to go home now.


I can imagine

----------


## baldrick

> I shared the best meal of the year


was there no esme ?  it is a turkish salsa made with capsicum , tomato , onion , garlic and chilli and is marvelous on a kebab

----------


## Mendip

^ Sadly no... we're having more of the same tomorrow so maybe I can get some as a side?


Only 2 days to go now... this is fast becoming real.

Yesterday we had torrential rain all day and then the temperature plunged to -3 overnight.

The pavements were lethal for my walk to my 08:30 PCR test. I will not miss this.



I became more worried about breaking an arm than getting a positive PCR test result. Either way I'd get no Fit to Fly certificate.



The camera didn't focus on the foreground which was a shame. These were frozen water droplets on the branch.



And two more things I won't miss about Sweden... trams and lunatic cyclists.



Google Maps eventually led me here...

_Långedrags Sjuksköterskemottagning_ were the magic words I'd been searching for... which I guess means 'clinic'.



But hang on... look who they share the floor with!



I briefly considered killing two birds with one stone, so to speak, and lighten the load somewhat for my walk back.

But duty called... I've still got work to do.

I was told I'll get my PCR test result sometime between 2pm and 10pm. Then I have to return to pick up the Negative test result (hopefully) and go to a doctor who will issue a Fit to Fly certificate. Thailand demand two separate certificates for entry. I'm hoping for a call around 3pm as then I have a good excuse to leave work early and not return.

Fingers crossed.

----------


## Saint Willy

Why not? I would have...

----------


## OhOh



----------


## Mendip

About 4pm today I had the call every traveller needs these days...

_'You're negative!'_

This was a relief, but will have been no news to my wife as she never tires of telling me, _'you're always bloody negative...'
_
I left work early to pick up my certificate, and luckily we were having a hail storm. I won't miss this...



I picked up the Covid certificate from the clinic and then followed directions to the doctor's place for my Fit to Fly examination. It turned out to be his house... he can't be doing too bad.



And I found out why he has a nice house... 20 minutes later and I was 1000 Kronor lighter. The clinic had charged 1800 Kronor for the Covid test, which seemed better value. Altogether about £250 for the two. 

Kerching!

But who cares... two more sleeps and I'm outta here. This is the last of my required paperwork and will be duly copied and added to my four document wallets in the morning.

The Fit to Flt certificate looks well dodgy to me, and you'd have thought for 1000 Kronor the doc could have printed it on paper without holes in. 



But this is the main one... I reckon this is what'll get me home.

----------


## hallelujah

Great news, Mendip!

I'll miss this thread, but now you've got the clearance from the lurgy, don't be tempted by that happy ending place if you fancy celebrating!

Stick to Mohammed's meat and his special sauce.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

:party43: 

this calls for a celebration, straight to the happy ending place!  Guzzle a gallon of cider, eat some surstromming, up end a tram and run naked through the city! You know you want to!

----------


## Dillinger

Mmmmm Mo's meat








Safe journey bud.

----------


## OhOh

> The Fit to Flt certificate looks well dodgy to me


They have coloured stamps, the Thai officials love them.

Copies in your packs?

Have you checked the flights seating selection plans for empty bubble areas, far away from toilets/kitchens .....

Happy trails.

----------


## nidhogg

Good luck mendip.

----------


## Edmond

Well done.


Per Knutson, sounds like a character from a Somtam Slap tale.  :Smile:

----------


## happynz

Oh, what a thread! Safe travels, Mendip.

----------


## lom

Welcome back to Thailand Mendip, I look forward to the thread continuation from the ASQ.
Hals und Beinbruch!

----------


## OhOh

> I'll miss this thread


Series I maybe, stay tuned for Series II.

A few videos/stories appear in the spring Netflix schedule and the Bangkok Post film review pages:

"Flights Cancelled In Sweden."

"Bangkok Airport Riot."

"Jailed For Importing Dangerous Conkers."

"ASQ Fined for Allowing Expat's Salon Visit."

"Korat Expat Mauled to Death By Guard Dogs."

"Corona Virus Fears - Korat Foreigner Banned from Wat Funeral."

----------


## Edmond

> I look forward to the thread continuation from the ASQ.



I presume one gets weighed in.

Were the numbers 110kg upon departure? 



We want 90! We want 90!

----------


## Saint Willy

> I presume one gets weighed in.
> 
> Were the numbers 110kg upon departure?




 :rofl: 

Harsh! 


but probably true!

----------


## Mendip

One day to go!

Yep, now I can say 'I'm leaving tomorrow!'

Just one more sleep... and I must admit I'm not too old to be getting a bit excited!

I've spent the first hour of my 'working' day making four copies of my fancy new negative Covid test and Fit to Fly certs, and adding them to each of my four travel packs. Then I checked each pack again, for the umpteenth time. My flight is 17:20 from GOT tomorrow, so I should get an email through about lunchtime today about online check-in. It's possible 30 hours in advance, I believe.

After much debate with myself I've decided not to smuggle in a bottle of whisky to my ASQ.... I've been told it's possible so long as it's hidden deep down in your checked luggage. 

There are two main reasons for my decision... firstly it would mean a perilous walk in the ice today to the Systembologet and I really don't want to risk a broken arm now that I've got my Fit to Fly certificate, and secondly I've been drinking way too much these past few weeks and think an enforced two week abstention will be a good thing. This is the year I'm finally going to sort this shit out, starting Friday. And besides, what's the point in taking one bottle of whisky? That would cover the first three or four days at most but there would still be another ten to go. 

Maybe I'll even lose a bit of weight in ASQ? I seem to remember 112kg when I had that offshore medical in Bangkok all those months ago... I lost about 8kg on the boat, but fear that has been replaced with interest after four months office work. I think 90kg won't happen until at least March!  :Smile: 

Just a few thoughts for anyone considering their return to Thailand... so long as you are eligible then it is a remarkably easy process. My only problem came when I changed the origin country of my flight as it then fell under a different embassy's jurisdiction and thus required a new CoE. Apart from that, the online system is easy and the embassy staff at both the London and Stockholm embassies have been incredibly helpful. I reckon the whole process could easily be done in two weeks, from initiation of CoE application to getting on the flight. It's all about the planning.

And not one to blow my own trumpet, but to give an idea of how detailed my planning has been... this is the last box of Yorkshire Tea I picked up from my mum's village in Somerset back in September... yep, four bags left... two for today and two for tomorrow. That kind of thing only comes with 30 years experience of offshore working!




And the cost?

 My KLM flight GOT-AMS-BKK cost about £450, which isn't bad at all at the moment and I've certainly been on many more expensive one way flights after work from Scandinavia to BKK. It cost just £12 to rebook my original flight departing from Bristol to a Gothenburg departure, and I think that was just a difference in fare, not a rebooking fee. Another plus from changing the flight to a Gothenburg departure is that I can stick it on expenses now... I'm on a point to point contract.

The ASQ cost 60,000 Baht, but you can get them for between 30,000 and 40,000 I believe. As I mentioned before, I wanted a balcony, and treated meself to a small suite. A little reward for six months continuous work. The PCR test and Fit to Fly exam cost the equivalent of £250... so what's that altogether, maybe around £2300 if you were funding it all yourself. Not prohibitive I think.

But anyway, I'm not even there yet.

Mohamed stood me up last night and I ate pizza alone. He says he's going shopping tonight for a present for his wife... I mean come on... it's my last night! Surely the perfume counter at Schiphol will be open? 

It's evidently not only the French that let you down. My last night will be spent again dining alone while trying to finish up the last of my cider and wine box. It'd be a shame to waste it!

----------


## Neverna

> Mohamed stood me up last night and I ate pizza alone. He says he's going shopping tonight for a present for his wife... I mean come on... it's my last night! Surely the perfume counter at Schiphol will be open?


"his wife" is Mo-code for YOU, Mendip! He's buyng a present for you! You are his.... wife! You lucky sod!  :Smile:  

Anyway, enjoy your last evening freezing your bollocks off in Gothenburg. It was a much nicer 12 C last night. Cold for Thailand but it won't last long. And the warm body of Coco awaits you in Korat.

----------


## David48atTD

> I think 90kg won't happen until at least March!


March 2022?







Safe travels mate  :Slomo:

----------


## armstrong

Had a couple of mates turn up for their ASQ and the room was not as advertised.  One didn't get the balcony he asked for, one didn't get a bath.. Can't really walk out can you.

----------


## Bogon

God speed Mendip.

See you on the other side.

----------


## Edmond

> Can't really walk out can you.


That's true.



Check the bedding for pubes and stains.  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Surely the perfume counter at Schiphol will be open?


and the booze counter.  :Smile:  That's excuse #1 voided..

----------


## Saint Willy

Fookin brilliant, now just make sure you don’t get drunk and miss your flight...

----------


## OhOh

> I've been told it's possible so long as it's hidden deep down in your checked luggage.


My ASQ was more intrested in the paperwork and getting me to choose food from their menu  for the evening and the next day's meals.




> My last night will be spent again dining alone


Not quite, you may have another balcony opposite to share the meals, but many will just be you or a Zoom partner.

----------


## ootai

> Fookin brilliant, now just make sure you don’t get drunk and miss your flight...



Mendip said:

 My last night will be spent again dining alone while trying to finish up the last of my cider and wine box. It'd be a shame to waste it!

And not one to blow my own trumpet, but to give an idea of how detailed my planning has been...  
My flight is 17:20 from GOT tomorrow, so I should get an email through about lunchtime today about online check-in. It's possible 30 hours in advance, I believe.

So:

Unless the money hungry prick is going in to work tomorrow morning he can get drunk and still have plenty of time to not miss his flight.

----------


## Edmond

> cider and wine


I'm not sure if this combo should be called cine or wider.

----------


## Saint Willy

> he can get drunk and still have plenty of time to not miss his flight.


depends how drunk he gets

----------


## Mendip

> Unless the money hungry prick is going in to work tomorrow morning he can get drunk and still have plenty of time to not miss his flight.


Kind words indeed Ootai!

Yeah... I'll be coming in to work for a few hours in the morning... but just to show my face and delete my browsing history! And justify my day rate!

No chance of getting drunk tonight... I've got maybe a bottle's worth of red wine left in my box, a tin of Swedish cider and a small bottle of French cider that I decided to keep for meself once I saw the way things were going! I'm glad things worked out the way they did now... I'm looking forward to that bottle of French cider!

I've checked in, and both flights look pretty well deserted. I'll be disappointed not to get an entire row to myself for the AMS-BKK leg. I'm hoping for clear rows in front and behind as well.

OhOh... just a thought... with your ASQ experience how well did they check your bag for a bottle of duty free? I'm thinking of going a short stubby bottle of whisky like The Balvenie that I can hide in the bottom of my carry on. Were you closely monitored at the carousel during baggage claim? Should it be easy enough to transfer my bottle to the hold luggage bag before customs?

Like I said, just an idle thought...

----------


## OhOh

> how well did they check your bag for a bottle of duty free?


 No search at all. 

I not sure if alcohol can affect the virus test result, maybe our TD virus experts can help.

Some further ramblings.

When our taxi arrived at hotel, us four passengers got out. The hotel staff loaded a trolley with our bags. We all had our temperatures taken at the door.

We went inside and sat at seats to wait to be called. Our bags were placed beside us. When I was called I was taken to the check-in desk, along with my baggage. The desk had been sealed off except a slot to pass the paperwork through. Passports and medical papers were checked and returned. A sheet was given with details of a messaging app to use to order the next days meals. Four menus were available. They asked what I wanted for that evening, and the morning, lunch and evening meals for the next day.

I was then handed my room card and taken up to my room. The staff carrying my one case.

All the contact numbers were on the sheets, app instructions and daily routines - temp checks, virus check timetables etc.

The first weeks routine was temp check at 8am, breakfast, lunch, temp check, evening meal. No leaving the room.

Day 7 was similar except a visit to a hotel doctor and a virus sample taken. A staff member took you, waited and took you back to your room. Once your test results, two days, were received you could call a number and arrange to visit the exercise "yard", a coffee shop or the pool. Taken both ways by a staff member.

After the second negative test result you could leave the next morning at 6am. I was there on the dot but no staff .... When they arrived they quickly signed me off and arranged for a taxi.

Not quite my previous Hilton Hotel Gold member card experience but acceptable, your hiso hotel may differ in the "amenities" offered.

About a week later an official Thai health certificate arrived at home by post.

Good luck.

----------


## Mendip

^ Ok, so a bottle of whisky it is then!

I've never been called hiso before, but it feels good. Thanks for that OhOh!

I know of one more 'amenity' that would really make the 14 days quite enjoyable but I doubt if even my new found status would allow that!  :Wink:

----------


## helge

Hope to see you posting from Thailand on friday

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ Ok, so a bottle of whisky it is then!
> 
> I've never been called hiso before, but it feels good. Thanks for that OhOh!
> 
> I know of one more 'amenity' that would really make the 14 days quite enjoyable but I doubt if even my new found status would allow that!


better pack two bottles of duty free.

other amenities? 
Surely Thailand could arrange something?

----------


## baldrick

> The Balvenie


Caribbean cask

----------


## Joe 90

Safe travels mate. 


Enjoy the 2 week health farm.

Push ups
Sit ups
Star jumps
Yoga

No pain,no gain :Smile: 

Btw Have you ever gone 2 weeks without peas in your life before, you might well find yourself clucking like a turkey at dawn on your balcony.

----------


## nidhogg

> Kind words indeed Ootai!
> 
> Yeah... I'll be coming in to work for a few hours in the morning... but just to show my face and delete my browsing history! And justify my day rate!
> 
> No chance of getting drunk tonight... I've got maybe a bottle's worth of red wine left in my box, a tin of Swedish cider and a small bottle of French cider that I decided to keep for meself once I saw the way things were going! I'm glad things worked out the way they did now... I'm looking forward to that bottle of French cider!
> 
> I've checked in, and both flights look pretty well deserted. I'll be disappointed not to get an entire row to myself for the AMS-BKK leg. I'm hoping for clear rows in front and behind as well.
> 
> OhOh... just a thought... with your ASQ experience how well did they check your bag for a bottle of duty free? I'm thinking of going a short stubby bottle of whisky like The Balvenie that I can hide in the bottom of my carry on. Were you closely monitored at the carousel during baggage claim? Should it be easy enough to transfer my bottle to the hold luggage bag before customs?
> ...


Not on the carry on!!!! You gotta put in in the checked in luggage!!!!

----------


## katie23

Good luck, mendip! Safe travels.

^yup, you're only allowed less than 100 ml of each fluid in the carry on. Unless it was bought at Duty free, I guess?

I remember a news article wherein the lady drank a whole bottle of Johnny Walker in front of the x-ray machine official because she wasn't allowed to take the bottle with her!  :Very Happy:

----------


## Chico

Mendip have a great trip.

Great thread.

----------


## OhOh

A few photos please:

Check-in smile withe the two boarding cards held up by the check-in agent.
Last call on the  screens. Initial and Transit airports.
BKK taxiing to arrival gate.
A few at the various entry stations/waiting areas/immigration booths.
Luggage pickup.
Your hotel limo.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Not on the carry on!!!! You gotta put in in the checked in luggage!!!!


Might be too late!

----------


## Stumpy

> ^ Ok, so a bottle of whisky it is then!
> 
> I've never been called hiso before, but it feels good. Thanks for that OhOh!
> 
> I know of one more 'amenity' that would really make the 14 days quite enjoyable but I doubt if even my new found status would allow that!


Go man go and that Balvenie is good stuff. 

Travel safe and welcome back!!!

----------


## Mendip

:Smile: 

^^ Nope! I'm still here.


Zero days to go... and no more sleeps!


In fact my next sleep will hopefully be in a wine induced drunken stupour somewhere over Eastern Europe!

I have a few emails to send, a lot of browsing history to delete and a few goodbyes to make.

And then I'm outta here!


My dilemma over the booze was whether to buy here and stash in my hold luggage before departure, or risk buying duty free and having it taken off me before quarantine. I've read that people's carry-on has been searched and booze confiscated before confinement... but not hold baggage.

But anyway, with OhOh's reassurance, and my fancy hiso ASQ I'm hoping to keep hold of the duty free bottle of whisky I'll be buying at Schiphol. If the chance offers itself I'll sneakily transfer it to my hold luggage when I pick up my bag at Suvarnabhumi. I have no idea how closely things will be monitored... if at all?

And don't worry OhOh... plenty of pics to come. I have 14 days of confinement coming up and 24 hours a day to fill. 

Sorry to say, but this thread has only just begun!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> My dilemma over the booze was whether to buy here and stash in my hold luggage before departure, or risk buying duty free


Both.

----------


## OhOh

I look forward to the upcoming journey photos and "The Never Ending Adventures Of TD's Pea Connoisseur".

----------


## David48atTD

> ^^ Nope! I'm still here.


"_a lot of browsing history to delete_" ... *cough*  we understand  :Smile: 


What flight, departure times, airport etc ?

Track you on Flight Radar, we will !

----------


## Stumpy

> TD's Pea Connoisseur


Yeah. Mendip sure loves his peas.  Nasty little green things. I was forced to eat them as a kid. Frozen, canned...God awful. I only started to eat them when Birdseye made a peas, carrots and corn mix and with a little butter tasted OK.   :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Thanks!

And here's an ASQ competition.

My flight is scheduled to land at 15:10 at BKK. My ASQ is on Rama 9, Suan Luang.

A free green for the closest guess at what time I walk through my ASQ room door.

----------


## Mendip

> Yeah. Mendip sure loves his peas.


This thing about peas yet again comes up.

Can I just put this myth to bed, once and for all.

My all time favourite vegetable is English runner beans. My Dad used to keep an allotment and during the summer we would have heaps of beans for every meal. This was back in the day when you ate seasonal veg, before the Spanish and North African bean imports flooded the supermarkets during the winter.

The problem with beans is, they don't freeze so well as peas. So on my travels, as an alternative to beans I sometimes have peas. I think that peas are one of the few veg that actually taste better frozen than fresh.

The frozen beans in Makro aren't very good, so I always buy Talley's peas. And yeah, I do eat the Thai long beans, but they just aren't as good as the English runner beans... imho...

And yes, I have also tried many times to grow English bean varieties from seeds I've brought over to Korat. Either the sparrows eat all the flowers, or these b@stard little orange beetles nail the roots.

So, I sometimes eat peas.

----------


## aging one

7:45pm :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> I have 14 days of confinement coming up and 24 hours a day to fill.


You'll need FBI grade software to delete your browser history after that much time in solitary  :Razz: 

18:15

----------


## PAG

> Thanks!
> 
> And here's an ASQ competition.
> 
> My flight is scheduled to land at 15:10 at BKK. My ASQ is on Rama 9, Suan Luang.
> 
> A free green for the closest guess at what time I walk through my ASQ room door.


1755.

----------


## Neverna

17.10.

----------


## lom

17.35

----------


## Edmond

25.61

----------


## Joe 90

5.20pm

----------


## ootai

> Thanks!
> 
> And here's an ASQ competition.
> 
> My flight is scheduled to land at 15:10 at BKK. My ASQ is on Rama 9, Suan Luang.
> 
> A free green for the closest guess at what time I walk through my ASQ room door.



My guess is 15.15  January 11th 2022.

----------


## lom

> I'm thinking of going a short stubby bottle of whisky like The Balvenie that I can hide in the bottom of my carry on


together with the cutlery.  :Smile:

----------


## Looper

Godspeed on your epic journey Mendip and may god keep your conkers safe from frostbite until you are safely out of the arctic circle

They said there was some crackling auroria borealis this week so hope you got a glimpse of the magic.

----------


## Shutree

18:30 exactly at the hotel.

Have a very safe trip.

----------


## Mendip

> together with the cutlery.


It's KLM Lom, it'll be plastic cutlery all the way. I had to accept that a long time ago.


I can see that some aren't taking the competition altogether seriously.

But anyway, I'm going to have a go although I appreciate that I'll be wide open to accusations of cheating when... I mean if I win.

My pessimistic self says 18:50. It's a hard one to call... I'm not expecting big queues at Swampy, but there is a load of paperwork and checks to get through.

And then there's late Friday afternoon Bangkok traffic... and the transport is laid on by the ASQ... maybe the driver won't want to use the highway?

----------


## Saint Willy

22:57

----------


## Edmond

> A free green for the closest guess at what time I walk through my ASQ room door.





> My pessimistic self says 18:50


You wouldn't be the first to green yourself.  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> at  what time *I walk through my ASQ room door.*


18:09

If no searching of bags for alcohol.

If there is:



















We'll take good care of that sir.

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## nidhogg

8.45 pm.

----------


## armstrong

5:03 pm.

They don't want you hanging around surely.

----------


## Mendip

Thanks for the good wishes... 

I'm just waiting for my taxi and reflecting over the past six months while finishing up my last bottle of cider.

This is the closest I've got to a French pair!  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Thanks for the good wishes...


Start a new quarantine thread. This one has run its course.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Start a new quarantine thread. This one has run its course.


Mendips thread, Mendips rules. Go have a big Mac :Smile: 

I'm revising my ETA, I fear Mendip is in for a full search , flat tyre and a detour to a massage establishment on account of slipping a disc smuggling 12 bottles of Scotch in his hand luggage.

3am local time :Smile:

----------


## helge

17:09

----------


## Dillinger

> I'm just waiting for my taxi and reflecting over the past six months while finishing up my last bottle of cider.
> 
> This is the closest I've got to a French pair!




Shoulda done like Mo and got a Dickens Cider :Smile: 
You should fly through that empty Swampy and be in  your hotel, with the hand cream out in no time.  :Smile: 

17.08 ... in your face Helge :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Anyone tracking his flight?

----------


## Dillinger

^ He will be on here from the Airplane wifi soon, with an update :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

He'll be getting smashed on the free bar :beer:

----------


## PAG

> Anyone tracking his flight?


It's flight KL811, ETA 1510 and showing on time.

----------


## David48atTD

> A free green for the closest guess at what time I walk through my ASQ room door.





> My pessimistic self says 18:50.


Me = 16.54  :Smile: 

Miss Farm Girl reckons I'm too optimistic and say 17.23!

----------


## David48atTD

> Anyone tracking his flight?





> It's flight KL811, ETA 1510 and showing on time.




https://flightaware.com/live/flight/KLM811

----------


## Saint Willy

Phaaaatk that’s a long way. I always forget...

----------


## David48atTD

^  Last time I flew SYD -> BKK was 9/10 hours, but yep ... long way, it is.

*Mendip* ... out of the darkness ... into the light!

----------


## Edmond

Anyone else think it's a bit creepy to watch one or two grown men actively track another grown man's flight, when they're presumably not hitmen or drug runners.  :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

the gardener lacks internet , so he needs updating via text messages

----------


## Headworx

> Anyone else think it's a bit creepy to watch one or two grown men actively track another grown man's flight, when they're presumably not hitmen or drug runners.


Or a driver  :Smile: 

I turned a local lady with an airport pick-up service onto these flight tracking apps years ago and she _still_ thanks me when we see each other. Fuck leaving Pattaya to pick someone up at the scheduled arrival time only to get to Swampy and see _DELAYED_ on the arrivals display, when she can see at the glance of an App that their flight will be several hours late and adjust her timing accordingly.

----------


## Headworx

> Mendip ... out of the darkness ... into the light!


The crack of daylight isn't safe around this bloke  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> Anyone else think it's a bit creepy to watch one or two grown men actively track another grown man's flight, when they're presumably not hitmen or drug runners.


A comment to solicit greens ... mate, sometimes you are a little too transparent  :Smile: 


So Edmond, you're not on the 420 out of Amsterdam?

BTW ... I have form ... Plane Spotting - The Quiz

----------


## cyrille

> sometimes you are a little too transparent



_sometimes_??

----------


## ootai

> I can see that some aren't taking the competition altogether seriously.


Mendip
I hope you weren't referring to me but if you were and I will admit my initial guess was a bit frivolous so here is my "serious" guess.

Through the door at 16:50

----------


## armstrong

> Anyone else think it's a bit creepy to watch one or two grown men actively track another grown man's flight, when they're presumably not hitmen or drug runners.


Fangirling

----------


## Chico

Mendip Sorry to inform you, your flight has been tracked and customs are waiting for you, and are waiting to drink your spare bottle of whiskey. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

We have a winner!

Congrats ootai, although it took a second try to even get the correct year.

The flight landed 10 minutes early at 15:00. I arrived at the ASQ at 16:00, but it took them 16 minutes to get me to understand the online meal ordering system.

Through the door at 16:16!

Maybe the wife is right... I am too negative.

----------


## nidhogg

Welcome home Mendip.

----------


## ootai

Welcome back to Thailand.
I hope you have your jumper on as its been a bit cool here lately.

----------


## armstrong

You can obviously see he's wearing a jumper in the photo ootai

----------


## Saint Willy

I posted Swedish time

----------


## Shutree

> We have a winner!
> 
> Congrats ootai, although it took a second try to even get the correct year.
> 
> The flight landed 10 minutes early at 15:00.


FMD. One hour from touchdown to hotel. That is quick.
Welcome home.

----------


## OhOh

The virus has had a great effect on the traffic.

Welcome back. A celebratory glass has been raised here, and in your hotel?




> Congrats ootai


Was he your pilot or taxi driver?

----------


## bsnub

I think it is time for a new quarantine thread. Then a going home to your number one fan thread. You are good at these threads and you will be pea deprived for two weeks.

----------


## ootai

> You can obviously see he's wearing a jumper in the photo ootai


I ain't blind so it was a rhetorical question with a hint of sarcasm but you might have missed that. I bet Mendip didn't.

Throughout this thread there have been numerous posts about him not having or wearing a jumper in temperatures near the zero mark so I am sure he won't need one here in Thailand where it hasn't got anywhere near that low.

Mendip did you get your whiskey safely to your room?

----------


## Edmond

So ootai wins a night with Frenchie? Just me luck.

----------


## Mendip

^ I see your point Snubs... but I haven't finished my commute yet! 

So near yet so far...


I'm not one to complain, but it's bladdy hot here... that -3 degrees in Sweden already feels a long way off!

So yesterday started the return leg of my commute, the first page of this ridiculous thread in reverse. I dumped my bags outside the office... no dogs to cock their legs on them in Gothenburg!



My Volvo taxi dropped me at the airport.



And the reason for a pic of a taxi... I have discovered something remarkable about Volvo taxis in Sweden. 

Who'd have thought this? They have a little hatch in the back seat... for... your skis! 

Ingenious. Well, to me at least.



And that was it... after nearly six months, time to head back home.



Check-in was easy, thanks to my travel packs. All the paperwork was in order and I was through in 5 minutes.

Bye bye Sweden...



I had time for a couple of pints but foolishly decided to save my duty free shopping for Schiphol. 

An then this was a rude awakening... not a statement by yet another company turning away from fossil fuels... but look at the gut on that! My four months of office working have been unkind, and I've been blissfully unaware with no mirrors to walk past. My jeans are made of this elasticy denim material so even they gave me no warning... they just expand with my waistline. This year I am going to sort it out... no wonder 'Frenchie' wasn't knocking on my door.



And there was my Embraer 190 to take me to Amsterdam! And the last snow I'll see this year, with any luck.

----------


## Mendip

When I arrived at Schiphol I had to leave Schengen.

I guess I should have been expecting it... but it still took me a while to realise what had happened. Never before in 30 years of regular flying through Europe...



Had the third degree from the Cloggy immigration guy as well. Where have you been, where are you going, why this, why that. A sign of things to come I guess.

There must be some fukker out there who has benefited from Brexit... but I've yet to meet him. As for me... it's knackered my pound, has made future onshore work in Schengen all but impossible and now, no way will a passport last me 10 years with Schengen stamping me in and out. Thanks Boris ya tosser... oh of course... there was one person who has benefited from it... must be nice when you have daddy's money in the bank.

Anyway, as I said I'm not one to moan. My habit of 30 years of transiting through Schiphol has always been to head to Cone Bar in Area D for a sausage roll.



 It's no longer called the Cone Bar, but still does great sausage rolls.



And here was another shock... at the counter I was told no alcohol sales in Schiphol after 19:30 and drinking time until 20:00. Then all shops shut! 

I got two tins in just in time according to the guy who lives in the clock...



But then as I was enjoying them I suddenly thought... fark! I haven't got my duty free yet. I could have watched him all day, but had to leave the clock guy to it... I had 7 minutes.



Double fark!

----------


## Mendip

A girl told me there was one place still open upstairs, but that I had to be quick.

Lucky too... perfume for the missus, chocolates for the nipper and a little something for me!

Two things in fact. Since I've become a little rotund I've started wearing these silly flying socks for long haul flights, but since I'm now so out of routine with travelling I forgot to put them on. 

Luckily the duty free place sold my size, so I treated meself to a pair.

I even managed to put them on without following the instructions... well, only just to be honest. Those extra kilograms certainly don't help with operations like this.



I very nearly stuck my sweaty, stinking, manky old socks in the bin, but then I had one of those brainwaves.

I'd already stashed my bottle at the bottom of my carry-on...



There... good luck to any b@stard searching down there! I wouldn't!



And by now it was time to head off to the gate.

A strange thing... they have all day to send planes to Bangkok, but send two off from the same gate within 20 minutes of each other? Surely that's asking for trouble?



As it turned out, Gate E1 was for health screening and then my flight departed from E5. My Bangkok flight was in association with Malaysian Air and continued on to KL. The other Bangkok flight continued on to Jakarta. I guess the airlines are suffering just now and have to combine routes.

A nice view for a long haul check-in... hardly any bladdy queue! And this was even with the bottleneck caused by a document check. My first of several.



And a nice new Dreamliner for the flight. Normally it was always a 777-300 for this flight, so they're downsizing as well.

----------


## Mendip

It was a smooth flight on the Dreamliner, and KLM even surprised me on the catering front.

It was even fukkin worse than usual.

It wasn't the usual microwaved pasta goo with plastic cutlery... there was no cutlery at all!

The evening meal comprised of a microwaved pizza in a box.



Followed by a 'bag of shite'. It was like something you'd give to the annoying kids at a Birthday party.



And that was it. All I can say is that if you're flying with KLM, eat beforehand and take along a packed lunch. If the itinerary allows of course.

They say it's because of Covid safety rules. I guess a microwaved box of pasta is more dangerous than a microwaved slice of pizza with the topping stuck to the lid. All the water fountains at Schiphol are out of action as well, due to 'Covid safety rules'. So guess what, you have to buy the bottled water at 3 quid a time. Maybe I'm just cynical.

Anyway, I was quite hungry by breakfast time... but soon lost my appetite.

The lid said 'Scrambled Egg', which was a useful guide but it was like no scrambled egg I've ever tasted before. And there was some unidentified goo... even the peas couldn't rescue that.



The good thing about the flight though... it was maybe 20 percent full, at most. I had my three seats to myself and got some good sleep.



And another good thing... the Dreamliner didn't have window blinds. You just press buttons to make the glass shaded or not. I've never seen that before.



And Suvarnabhumi... 

CoE were first checked coming off the plane, and then we made our way to the checkpoint.

I had to stop for a humongous dump, and by the time I finished everyone had disappeared.



I found my fellow passengers at the front of the nicely set out and socially distanced chairs and sat down to fill out the landing card. There were swarms of PPE clad helpers and as soon as the T6 was filled out I was hustled to the first station, past that, then off o the next station, past that, and within 20 minutes was walking off to immigration. A big shout to OhOh here... the prepared travel packs were a God send and I waltzed through while others were searching through their bags. I only needed one though... never opened the remaining four packs. But better safe than sorry I reckon.

No queues whatsoever at immigration, straight through... and my bag was going round on the carousel. Straight through customs... no bag scanned... which was annoying because I wish I'd stashed more booze now. Then outside to my ASQ driver.

I was asked to wait for 10 minutes while he brought the car to the front.



And once he was ready, I was taken out to get my ride to the ASQ.



The whole process was remarkably easy and to be honest I should have done it months ago... but it does feel good not to have to work until borders start to open up again. 

The most difficult thing during the whole operation was probably getting those bloody new socks on at Schiphol.

----------


## happynz

Only fruit plates and veggie platters for you during quarantine.

----------


## Mendip

^ I know, I'm disgusted with myself. I lost 8 kilos on the boat as well.

But to be fair that pic was taken from an unflattering angle and a jumper is known to add a few pounds.


I arrived at the ASQ after only a 15 minute ride and was met by more PPE clad helpers and a nurse.

The biggest delay in getting to my room was setting all this stuff up on LINE and in some new app I had to download. I have to take my own temperature at 8am and 4pm and upload it to two separate apps, one for my nurse and one for a government site. And I have to order all my meals on an app as well. It's got awfully complicated. If I pass my PCR test in 5 days I'm allowed out of my room for a while, it seems. I have to sort that out on an app as well.

My ASQ is perfect for me. Nothing fancy but a bit of space, a balcony and opening windows. Two weeks will be no problem... I think.





There was a kit laid out on the table for me to use to take my temperature twice a day. They also left me a huge wad of tissues but I have no idea what they should be used for!  :Smile: 



At 5pm there was a knock on the door. I went out but no-one was there... just a bag of food left on a little table outside my room.



Good job I want to lose weight!



A nice view from the balcony... I can watch the Sky Trains all day. I'm gonna get a bit of sun on my skin tomorrow as well and looking forward to that after months in the Scandinavian winter.



It sure feels good to be finally on my way home!

----------


## armstrong

> I ain't blind so it was a rhetorical question with a hint of sarcasm but you might have missed that. I bet Mendip didn't.
> 
> Throughout this thread there have been numerous posts about him not having or wearing a jumper in temperatures near the zero mark so I am sure he won't need one here in Thailand where it hasn't got anywhere near that low.
> 
> Mendip did you get your whiskey safely to your room?


I know the story.  My comment was in relation to his very hairy arms. You might have missed that.

----------


## Chico

Happy quarantine Buddy, hope all goes well for you.

----------


## Looper

> One hour from touchdown to hotel. That is quick.


...and that included a massive and time-consuming dump at Suvarnabhumi




> I'm gonna get a bit of sun on my skin tomorrow


Will be nice to catch some balmy rays on that balcony after the frigid arctic purgatory - enjoy

----------


## helge

> I have discovered something remarkable about Volvo taxis in Sweden.
> 
> Who'd have thought this? They have a little hatch in the back seat... for... your skis!


I use it for my piles

Welcome home,Mendip

----------


## Joe 90

> and that included a massive and time-consuming dump at Suvarnabhumi


He must have launched it like a cruise missile to make that time.

----------


## helge

> He must have launched it like a cruise missile to make that time.


 :Smile: 
A "torpedo like" object has been spotted in the Gulf of Thailand

ไทยรัฐ TV ถ่ายทอดสด (LIVE) ดูสด ไทยรัฐทีวี ช่อง 32  | ไทยรัฐออนไลน์

----------


## Saint Willy

> and a jumper is known to add a few pounds.


is that why you dont wear jumpers? Lol.

you room looks ok

----------


## Loy Toy

Welcome back mate.

Is the room and others expensive?

----------


## bsnub

You made it!!

----------


## katie23

Glad you made it safely to your hotel, mendip. WB to TH.  :Smile:

----------


## aging one

> I can watch the Sky Trains all day.


I think that is the airport link mate... :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> An then this was a rude awakening... not a statement by yet another company turning away from fossil fuels... but look at the gut on that! My four months of office working have been unkind, and I've been blissfully unaware with no mirrors to walk past. My jeans are made of this elasticy denim material so even they gave me no warning... they just expand with my waistline. This year I am going to sort it out... no wonder 'Frenchie' wasn't knocking on my door.


Here's some inspiration for you

Woman runs half marathon while in quarantine in hotel room during coronavirus | Daily Mail Online

----------


## OhOh

> It sure feels good to be finally on my way home!


Yes, the stress dissipates at every step. 

The self administered temperature check and reporting is an enhancement.

----------


## Chico

Mendip did you escape? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> I think that is the airport link mate...


Correct AO... I've since discovered that's Hua Mak Station I'm looking across at.

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip did you escape?


Sadly no... but I've had a damn good sleep!

...only 14 days to go...  :Smile: 

I seem to spend my life counting down days. That has to stop... I'll start living for the moment!


My new routine starts at 8am with a self temperature check which I have to report to my nurse.

Dontcha just love Thailand!



While I was wondering what to do there was a knock on the door... it reminds me of that movie Papillon when Steve McQueen had a knock on his door before the food was slid through the hatch.



Mmmm... 

It seems my diet has really kicked in. I foolishly requested coffee as my drink choice, hoping for a proper cup of nice coffee. I have a jar of Nescafe I brought with me, and the hotel has provided six sachets of Coffee Mate already. Still, live and learn.



My tasks for the day... try and get hold of a bottle of fresh milk for my fridge for tea and coffee (which is proving harder than you may think) and get a knife.



The room is great but I must admit to a bit of disappointment over the food. But maybe it's what I need.

Lunch...



And you know exactly what this could have done with...

But I'm saving 'em until my halfway point, next Saturday!



There's been some false assumptions on this thread. 




> Safe travels mate. 
> Btw Have you ever gone 2 weeks without peas in your life before, you might well find yourself clucking like a turkey at dawn on your balcony.





> .... and you will be pea deprived for two weeks.


You forget at how well I have planned for this!

----------


## Saint Willy

> You forget at how well I have planned for this!


cough, cough. 

if you'd planned well, you'd have 14 bottles of single malt. not one.

----------


## Shutree

Peas in a jar. I don't think I have ever seen peas in a jar.

----------


## ootai

> My tasks for the day... try and get hold of a bottle of fresh milk for my fridge for tea and coffee (which is proving harder than you may think) and get a knife.
> 
> 
> The room is great but I must admit to a bit of disappointment over the food. But maybe it's what I need.



Mendip

I don't think they will give you a knife as looking ahead to 14 days in solitary you might slash your wrist, better to just jump off the balcony (how high up are you by the way).

As for the food, can you order extra from outside?  If that's all they are gonna give you I don't think I could last 14 days.

How have you managed the transition in temperature?

What's your daughter think about you actually being back in Thailand but not allowed to actually go all the way home?

Keep smiling it will all be over soooooooooooon!!

----------


## Headworx

The rectal thermometer seems a bit weird...

----------


## Klondyke

> Who'd have thought this? They have a little hatch in the back seat... for... your skis! 
> 
> Ingenious. Well, to me at least.


Shouldn't also the backwards  :Smile:  Thailand ask the taxi to be equipped similarly?





> And that was it... after nearly six months, time to head back home.


So, shouldn't you rename you thread?

----------


## Shutree

That food looks uninspiring. However, the Thai husband  of a friwnd came back from Korea and is in government quarantine. His food makes Mendip's look like a feast. He only gets a plastic spoon and fork with his food. He is confined to his room, not a big room, for the full 14 days, not allowed out at all and anyone caught stepping outside gets the clock reset to zero and has to do 14 more days. So, things could be worse.
Mendip, how do they calculate the release time? Is it 14x24 hours from arrival in the country or in the hotel or what?

----------


## David48atTD

> 


Ah ... you have discovered the delights of line!

If you want some fun I have Za's line number ... think of the possibilities  :Smile: 

Or LT's if you want a sneeky delivery ... though he might charge a bit for that having to send from Pattaya.

----------


## David48atTD

> The rectal thermometer seems a bit weird...


Not a '_rectal thermometer_' ... we have a couple for the kids ... under the armpit is the recommended style  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> Peas in a jar. I don't think I have ever seen peas in a jar.





> 


...  :rofl:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Here's some inspiration for you
> 
> Woman runs half marathon while in quarantine in hotel room during coronavirus | Daily Mail Online


I'm worried you missed this post, Mendip!

----------


## David48atTD

> I seem to spend my life counting down days. That has to stop... I'll start living for the moment!


“_Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans._”

Exchange the lyric 'beautifull boy' to 'beautifull girl'

Am song for your daughter ...




Close your eyes,
Have no fear,
The monster's gone,
He's on the run
And your daddy's here,

_[2x]_
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful girl,

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day
In every way,
It's getting better and better,

_[2x]_
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful girl,

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both
Just have to be patient,

'Cause it's a long way to go,
A hard row to hoe
Yes, it's a long way to go
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is what happens to you,
While you're busy making other plans,

_[2x]_
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful girl,

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day
In every way,
It's getting better and better,

_[2x]_
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful girl,

Darling, darling,
Darling *_insert daughters name_*.

----------


## nidhogg

> And you know exactly what this could have done with...
> 
> But I'm saving 'em until my halfway point, next Saturday!
> 
> 
> 
> There's been some false assumptions on this thread. 
> 
> 
> ...


Legend.  Pure and simple.

----------


## aging one

^ He uses those peas like Popeye uses spinach.   Super powers. :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> You forget at how well I have planned for this!


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## reinvented

you are just across the expressway from me. they got you holed up in bandit country

----------


## nidhogg

> My tasks for the day... try and get hold of a bottle of fresh milk for my fridge for tea and coffee (which is proving harder than you may think) and get a knife.


Wil not help you this trip, but for future trips, my toiletries bag has a few essentials permanently stashed in it (from long experience), these include a small bottle opener, a corkscrew and a small, fixed blade serrated knife.

----------


## Mendip

Well, I'm a day in and starting to get a bit bored, to be honest. 

I just reported my second temperature check of the day, and with my last job of the day done I think I'll enjoy a sundowner on the balcony while waiting for my dinner.

I have also just discovered 'Line of Duty' on Netflix. Don't know how I've missed it before, and there's 5 series, so that should keep me going for a couple of days!





> I use it for my piles
> 
> Welcome home,Mendip


Thank you Helge, but go and see a doctor mate.





> cough, cough. 
> 
> if you'd planned well, you'd have 14 bottles of single malt. not one.


It's all easy with hindsight... if I'd have known there'd be no checks I'd have brought a lot more than that!





> Peas in a jar. I don't think I have ever seen peas in a jar.


You've gotta look hard, but they're out there!





> Mendip
> 
> What's your daughter think about you actually being back in Thailand but not allowed to actually go all the way home?
> 
> Keep smiling it will all be over soooooooooooon!!


As usual my daughter is remarkably unflustered by it all... but I know that she's just hiding her emotions!

She says that she's making a list of things she wants us to do, food I need to cook and movies we need to watch together. I'm gonna be busy... I forget that it's not only me who's been deprived of steak and kidney pie for so long.





> That food looks uninspiring. However, the Thai husband  of a friwnd came back from Korea and is in government quarantine. His food makes Mendip's look like a feast. He only gets a plastic spoon and fork with his food. He is confined to his room, not a big room, for the full 14 days, not allowed out at all and anyone caught stepping outside gets the clock reset to zero and has to do 14 more days. So, things could be worse.
> Mendip, how do they calculate the release time? Is it 14x24 hours from arrival in the country or in the hotel or what?


Yes, point taken Shutree... but did he pay 60,000 Baht for the privilege?

I believe I have to serve 15days/14 nights and that I will be released on the morning of the last day of my sentence, but I'll just see what happens. I'm having enough trouble just getting some milk at the moment.





> Not a '_rectal thermometer_' ... we have a couple for the kids ... under the armpit is the recommended style


Now you tell me... I wondered why the nurse was looking so confused.





> I'm worried you missed this post, Mendip!


Nope... I did see it and had a read. I'll start up the exercise once I shake off this jet lag! Thanks for your concern.


Tonight's meal was also 'uninspiring'... and I was on the phone to my mum when it was delivered and didn't hear the knock at the door, so it was also stone cold.



After a long chat with the girl at reception this afternoon I thought we'd arranged for a bottle of fresh milk to come with my evening meal, for my cups of tea and coffee.

_Nom sud_ yeah?

Intriguingly I received a sanitary bag full of sugar instead. I've been in Thailand long enough not to even question these things.

Tomorrow is another day...

----------


## Edmond

The fooker's eating better than Chitty!  :Smile:

----------


## PAG

What facilities do you have in the room?   I guess a kettle is a foregone conclusion, and a small fridge.   What about a microwave?   Given you're at the start of a two week stay, maybe look at some of the online shopping options, such as Villa Market (Easy Online Grocery Shopping at Villa Market).   Should be same day delivery.   I think alcohol delivery is now banned in Thailand (this in the last few months so you may have missed that news).

----------


## Saint Willy

> Tonight's meal was also 'uninspiring'... and I was on the phone to my mum when it was delivered and didn't hear the knock at the door, so it was also stone cold.
> 
> 
> 
> After a long chat with the girl at reception this afternoon I thought we'd arranged for a bottle of fresh milk to come with my evening meal, for my cups of tea and coffee.


At least it has peas in it!

----------


## Mendip

^^^ I didn't think about that.

Sorry Joe...

^^ That's a very good idea PAG, I'll investigate but I know that Grab and Food Panda are banned from delivering to ASQ. Alcohol is banned altogether, regardless of a delivery ban.

I have a kettle and an empty fridge. No microwave. Heating my peas up will be a challenge.

----------


## lom

> if I'd have known there'd be no checks I'd have brought a lot more than that!


Do the Thai Customs random check passengers nowadays?  They never did at Don Mueang or maybe I was lucky every time.

----------


## Headworx

Deleted sorry, you already mentioned Grab food wasn't possible. Not good mate!

----------


## hallelujah

Fucking ell, Mendip. The whole experience looks like an extended _Come Dine With Me_ Chez Chitty. If you open that door and you've got fusion tapas waiting for you, start making plans for a moonlight flit off that balcony.  :Smile: 

What would you give now for a portion of big Mo's meat and an icy trip to the Systembolaget?

----------


## Mendip

> Do the Thai Customs random check passengers nowadays?  They never did at Don Mueang or maybe I was lucky every time.


At Suvarnabhumi your luggage quite often gets put through the scanner machine by customs these days. I usually wait and walk through with a big group of Chinese. I wasn't sure what to expect yesterday with so few people travelling and stayed to the allowance. A mate told me it was now automatic 30,000 Baht fines if you're over.

Kind of regret it now.

----------


## Mendip

> Deleted sorry, you already mentioned Grab food wasn't possible. Not good mate!


No, it's not allowed for ASQ.

My tactic will be bribery to a cleaner... although I get no contact wirh anyone for a week.

But in Thailand where there's a will, there's a way... usually.

They say you find out who your real friends are in times of adversity. My good Welsh mate in Korat has already taken to Whatsapping me when he leaves his house, telling me where he's going and then sends me pictures of his resaurant food.

Wanker that he is.

----------


## Saint Willy

> They say you find out who your real friends are in times of adversity. My good Welsh mate in Korat has already taken to Whatsapping me when he leaves his house, telling me where he's going and then sends me pictures of his resaurant food.
> 
> Wanker that he is.



I had homemade lasagne tonight.

----------


## Mendip

Wanker!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

::doglol::

----------


## Saint Willy

Enjoying a few classic martinis, unfortunately I don’t have any martini glasses. But never mind need is the mother of innovation.

----------


## HuangLao

This popular thread continues to endear, Mendy - 

Best wishes.
See ya on the other side.

 :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

Have you inquired about an off the ASQ menu dish? That may be available.

----------


## Edmond

> Have you inquired about an off the ASQ menu dish? That may be available.


let's hope Tuesday isn't Curly Fry day. 





Absolutely horrid.

----------


## Joe 90

> The fooker's eating better than Chitty!


I resemble that remark :Smile: 

I'll have you know it's curry night at Chez Chitty!

Two hours I've been lovingly preparing and cooking my speciality Chicken Madras.

Been listening to some 70's Funk and sinking a few San Migs,yes the wheel has fallen of the wagon.

It could be worse Mendip,you could be on full lockdown in the UK ,its not stopped raining this year and everywhere is ghostly quiet.

I the bright side my home gym sessions have took off with a vengeance and I've even got the kids involved.
The oldest went quite skinny last year through lack of exercise but this year is going full on with the home weights and is making terrific gains.

My upper body muscle is returning also.

My I suggest you take this two week opportunity to get yourself super fit and toned for your return home, I'd even be inclined to go for the all over tan on your balcony.

Yeak fvck it,nothing wrong with nude sun bathing. It's not as if someone is gonna come and tell you off.

I may have some peas with my roast in your honour tomorrow, enjoy the Netflix box sets.

Joe  90

----------


## baldrick

> you are just across the expressway from me.


drone , small bottle of ya dong in a plastic bag = 3 am delivery

----------


## Saint Willy

> drone , small bottle of ya dong in a plastic bag = 3 am delivery


Now that would be a true friend.

I wonder if they make drones big enough to carry one of them cute young bargirls up for an hour or so?

----------


## Dillinger

> I wonder if they make drones big enough to carry one of them cute young bargirls up for an hour or so?



I fear for that maid he's thinking of bribing to bring food and alcohol in.

The only hole Mendip has seen over the past 8 months is the one in the back of the Volvo where the skis fit. :Smile: 

She'll bend down to put his food  outside his door one morning and he'll be up their like a shit house rat

----------


## Mendip

Lots of food talk I see... much appreciated of course. I hope to return the favours one day.





> Fucking ell, Mendip. The whole experience looks like an extended _Come Dine With Me_ Chez Chitty. 
> 
> What would you give now for a portion of big Mo's meat and an icy trip to the Systembolaget?


Yeah... you've reminded me of how bad it could have been Hal... I'd better wind it in a bit. 

Although I must admit a visit from 'Big Mo' with one of his Turkish kebabs would be more than welcome right now.

He was leaving the day after me and will be back home in Alexandria now where Covid is rampant... four kids, one of whom was sick and elderly parents, all living in the same house. I don't envy him that.





> Enjoying a few classic martinis, unfortunately I don’t have any martini glasses.


Yeah... don't ya just hate it when that happens...





> I resemble that remark
> 
> I'll have you know it's curry night at Chez Chitty!  ... It could be worse ...
> 
> 
> I'd even be inclined to go for the all over tan on your balcony.
> 
> Yeak fvck it,nothing wrong with nude sun bathing. It's not as if someone is gonna come and tell you off.


There's an idea Joe... the only people who overlook my balcony are the passengers on the Airport Link trains... and I doubt there are many of them just now.

And they'd need bloody good eyesight as well... but no, I don't mean it like that... I mean because they are so far away...





> drone , small bottle of ya dong in a plastic bag = 3 am delivery


Where's JPPR when you need him? Too busy messing about with his pool no doubt.

I wonder what's the payload of his fancy drone?





> I wonder if they make drones big enough to carry one of them cute young bargirls up for an hour or so?


 :Smile:  An hour or so??!

 I'm not a social worker.

A couple of minutes is all I need.


I was up until 3:30am this morning watching 'Line of Duty' and I'm knackered... I missed the 8am knock on the door so had a stone cold breakfast and was late logging in my temperature on LINE.

I think I'm in a bit of trouble as well...

Only two days in and a third of my bottle of whisky seems to have gone and last night I nailed half a bag of my daughter's duty free Maltesers...

But today I got my milk! Not as much as I hoped but a small victory nonetheless. I'll just ask for a bottle every day.

----------


## Saint Willy

I'm thinking Sunday roast dinner.

Lamb, beef or chicken?

----------


## Dillinger

Nam tan= sugar
Nam som= orange juice
Nom = milk

Do you reckon it's your Wurzels accent?

Try Nom Mei-ji :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> Nam tan= sugar
> Nam som= orange juice
> Nom = milk
> 
> Do you reckon it's your Wurzels accent?
> 
> Try Nom Mei-ji


Try Nom Yai ?

thinking ... https://cdn.pornpictureshq.com/galle..._1200x1200.jpg

but we'll go with ...

----------


## Saint Willy

> Try Nom Yai ?



always a favourite!

----------


## Dillinger

^^ He's gonna blow!!

----------


## lom

> He's gonna blow!!


and he has only got two pairs of socks, both with holes in them.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

shower.

----------


## David48atTD

Curtains?

----------


## baldrick

rabbit fur ?

----------


## Mendip

FFS... I see plenty of conjecture about how I'm passing my time in quarantine.

More a reflection of your dirty minds than me I think.

All I'm doing is watching a few movies while playing with me conkers. 

I bet you people will even twist that into something nasty.

----------


## Mendip

> you are just across the expressway from me. they got you holed up in bandit country


So you know this area? I keep hearing what sounds like a call to prayer... is there a mosque nearby?

----------


## Mendip

I had of success of sorts with milk... but no such luck with a knife. They're proving strangely resistant to this request and I wonder if it's ASQ policy?

But then I had my second brainwave of the journey... and remembered my Qatar Air cutlery procured on the way over to Oslo last July!

It was stashed at the bottom of my check-in bag and I'd forgotten all about it.

It's all coming together now after only two days in.







> Wil not help you this trip, but for future trips, my toiletries bag has a few essentials permanently stashed in it (from long experience), these include a small bottle opener, a corkscrew and a small, fixed blade serrated knife.



Good advice Nid... but I'm way ahead of ya. I've still got my  surströmming tin opener and a bottle opener is standard kit in my wash  bag.

I just need a bottle to open!

----------


## Headworx

^^^Seen that movie before on Pornhub, that's the part where he says _that was fantastic!_

----------


## lom

> 


I see you have dug out the squeezing socks. Optimist!  :rofl: 
(the idea is that they should make the blood circulate and not getting stuck in one place)

----------


## Saint Willy

> All I'm doing is watching a few movies while *playing with me conkers*.


_though_t so!

----------


## Edmond

Great opportunity for a 2 week exercise regime of calisthenics.


Don't be a lazy conker.  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

The wadded up tissues are a bit of a give away......

----------


## Saint Willy

*No more excuses! Marketing assistant, 21, runs a half marathon in her HOTEL ROOM while in quarantine during the coronavirus pandemic*

----------


## nidhogg

^ that is going to end up with more wadded tissues on Mendip's table.....

----------


## reinvented

> So you know this area? I keep hearing what sounds like a call to prayer... is there a mosque nearby?


yeah theres 2 big one, 1 either side of you. its a very muslim area in general, especially on my side of the road. theres some good ressie nearby though, if you can order in ill be happy to recommend

let me know if you need a care package. i pass ther a couple of times a week and mt friend uses where you are staying often

----------


## Looper

> i pass ther a couple of times a week and mt friend uses where you are staying often


'uses'....

Is Mendip doing his ASQ in a short time hotel?

 :bunny3: 

Not sure if that is as medically hygienic as would be expected for quarantine but I suppose all businesses need to rethink their business plan in these topsy-turvy times.

----------


## Mendip

^ Well, if it is a short time place I don't seem to be getting my money's worth. 

I think a call to reception is in order in the morning.


Although I have made a couple of friends today. These two guys appear to live on my balcony light.



They fly off for a bit and then come back to say hello.



Not being Australian I decided against exterminating them, and now we live in harmony together on the balcony.



It's good to have friends... I don't get a lot of food at this ASQ but they're very welcome to share what little I get.

----------


## baldrick

> let me know if you need a care package


a DHL box would hold a couple of bottles easily

----------


## Saint Willy

Squeeze a small bargirl in a box

----------


## Saint Willy



----------


## Looper

> I don't get a lot of food at this ASQ


How to Roast a Whole Pigeon - Great British Chefs

Get some tips from chef baz on how to do it in the mini-microwave...



Just need to set up a snare on top of the light fixture with some dental floss while they are out and about

 :bunny3:

----------


## bsnub

^^

At least post them correctly you wanker.  :Smile: 




> Just need to set up a snare on top of the light  fixture with some dental floss while they are out and about


Can always count on Looper to gross everyone out. Next thing he will post is how he catches and eats Huntsman spiders. 

 :Puke:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Is that roast beef perchance? A Sunday roast... nice...

I had something and rice for lunch... and the same something with a different coloured rice for dinner. I didn't realise ASQ was supposed to be a punishment.

My wanker of a Welsh mate was asking me how to cook roast lamb today... along with a picture of an oven-ready NZ lamb leg, as Boris Johnson would say.

Wankers, the lot if you!  :Smile: 

^^ So Looper, I make my first friends and you think I should eat 'em?

Have you never watched the Shawshank Redemption?

It was Jake who got Brooks through his sentence!

----------


## lom

> My wanker of a Welsh mate was asking me how to cook roast lamb today... along with a picture of an oven-ready NZ lamb leg, as Boris Johnson would say.


You told him to put it in the oven at 275°C for 3 hours?

----------


## Saint Willy

^ marvelous! 




> Is that roast beef perchance? A Sunday roast... nice...


m
literally on your  behalf, I forgot the gravy but it didn’t need it,

Roast beef sandwiches for lunch tomorrow

----------


## helge

> I had something


I didn't

Wife just offered me a BJ, but I said no thank you.....in solidarity with you, Mendip

"Abstinence for Mendip"

----------


## Joe 90

Last nights curry and today's Sunday roast Mendip, no peas I'm afraid but they were very nice...






I feel your pain, hang in there. :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> ^^
> 
> At least post them correctly you wanker. 
> 
> 
> 
> Can always count on Looper to gross everyone out. Next thing he will post is how he catches and eats Huntsman spiders.


I've noticed snubs is strictly a beef, pork and chicken man. I guess it's the same for most of our burger-eating chums across the pond?

They're missing out though 'cos wood pigeon, rabbit, venison and other game is tasty as fuck.

----------


## Saint Willy

For a man who is bored and hungry, he’s not really posting as much on TD as he could be...I wonder if he really is running a half marathon?

----------


## bsnub

> They're missing out though 'cos wood pigeon, rabbit, venison and other game is tasty as fuck.


Pigeon and rabbit is not widely eaten in the US in fact I think most here would be sick of the thought of eating pigeon which is considered a filthy street bird. In America venison is common but not really in stores. It must be hunted the same as elk, moose, bear etc. Sadly I am in the city and the family I had that did the hunting and fishing have all died off. 




> I've noticed snubs is strictly a beef, pork and chicken man.


My pics in covid time are deceiving. I eat a lot of fresh fish and seafood but typically when I did I would go to seafood buffets or sushi places. All are shuttered here. Something like this...





Sorry Mendip.  :Smile: 

My family ran fishing boats up into Alaska, so I was spoiled as a kid. We always had the freshest of the fresh. King crab, Halibut and salmon. As mentioned above that part of my family has passed on so I have to fend for meself when it comes to procuring seafood.

----------


## Dillinger

> In America venison is common but not really in stores. It must be hunted the same as elk, moose, bear etc.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## bsnub

^ 

What is so funny about that fatty?  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

HTF has this become a food thread?

^ ×5
That doesn't look bad Joe but to be honest maybe this ASQ food isn't so bad after all!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

^ Sorry Mendip, trying to keep your spirits up.




> .



I'd scoff that!

----------


## Mendip

^ So would I... given the chance.

But I'm sticking with the American breakfast, albeit absolutely stone cold. In the absence of a microwave I was considering putting it out in the sun for a while but fear that my two new friends out on the balcony would think it another offering.

But I did get TWO bottles of milk today... these small victories are what makes life in Thailand so worthwhile. I have been considering asking for some sachets of ketchup but I just don't have the energy.

The small tub of suspicious looking orange stuff on the left appeared to be crystallised butter that had obviously melted at some point in the past and then been put back in the fridge to harden up again



Now, I get the need for quarantine and also think that Thailand has done a great job in controlling the spread of coronavirus, especially when you consider the mess I left in Europe a few days ago. I also have a wife and child in Korat... Thailand is my home, such as it will ever be, so I have real reasons to return. What I don't get is the need to treat quarantine as a punishment. These two weeks ain't cheap... if the Thais think that long term tourists will spend their first two weeks being fed like this at a cost of 60,000 Baht (for ONE person) I think they are sadly deluded. It's taken me three days to get a decent bottle of milk, FFS. 

I'm no foodie and would happily eat round at Joe 90's any time, but what tourist would pay 1500 quid (or nearly 3k for a couple) to be fed like a prisoner in solitary confinement for a fortnight? I certainly wouldn't.

Anyway, rant over. I need to lose weight anyway.

Today appeared to be rubbish putting out day, so I followed suite. I gave 'em their smelly butter back.

----------


## PAG

> ^ Well, if it is a short time place I don't seem to be getting my money's worth. 
> 
> I think a call to reception is in order in the morning.
> 
> 
> Although I have made a couple of friends today. These two guys appear to live on my balcony light.
> 
> 
> 
> ...

----------


## nidhogg

> That doesn't look bad Joe but to be honest maybe this ASQ food isn't so bad after all!


Ouch.  That is a hell of a burn.

----------


## Shutree

> Yes, point taken Shutree... but did he pay 60,000 Baht for the privilege?


Since you asked, I thought I'd take the trouble to find out.

His story is that he was working legally in S. Korea, then his contract and work permit ended so he asked for repatriation. The Thai embassy has a queue and he was given a date in February 2022. No typo, 2022.

He had the option to skip the queue and that would have cost him Baht 40,000. I wasn't clear if that included the flight.

He didn't have the money but he did get sick, not Covid, and the embassy allowed him to jump the queue, which is free.

----------


## Mendip

^ I was only curious. 

I have no problem doing the quarantine, but the money paid out for the meals given doesn't seem to equate. Someone is doing very well out of this.


But anyway... I have now got into a routine and it's quite relaxing.

I read my book in the sun on the balcony for a while in the mornings, joined by my new friends who pop in for snack now and again.



The we sit in the sun together in companionable silence.



She's good company and the morning just flew by. I'm going to try and get her eating from my hand before I leave.



And then came the knock on the door and she flew off.

It was spag bol with the regulation one piece of garlic bread and some unidentifiable lukewarm grey sludge.

Even after eating it I was none the wiser, so checked what I had ordered yesterday. Mystery solved... it was mushroom soup!

----------


## Shutree

> ^ I was only curious. 
> 
> I have no problem doing the quarantine, but the money paid out for the meals given doesn't seem to equate. Someone is doing very well out of this.
> 
> 
> I read my book in the sun on the balcony for a while in the mornings, joined by my new friends who pop in for snack now and again.


I was thinking that maybe there are extra backroom costs to make sure that everything is delivered in an antiseptic way. Then I thought, actually food should always be served hygienically and all this disposable packaging is probably easier than washing up. On balance I am sure you are right, they are gouging on the food.

At least it looks like you made a wise decision to get that balcony. That must make a big difference.

----------


## Mendip

> *No more excuses! Marketing assistant, 21, runs a half marathon in her HOTEL ROOM while in quarantine during the coronavirus pandemic*
> 
> 
> Attachment 63377


How come she's got a bottle of champagne in her ASQ? And a bunch of bananas! That's not fair!





> For a man who is bored and hungry, he’s not really posting as much on TD as he could be...I wonder if he really is running a half marathon?



KW, I do appreciate your concern as to my health, but I'm not running half marathons just yet... and here's why.

It's really strange, but every time I fly to work, or fly back again, I get cracked feet. I used to think it was the change in temperature, or humidity, or the wearing of socks, or the not wearing of socks again, but I have no idea what causes it. For the first few days back at work on a boat, or back home again, I get cracked feet. Then, after a few days the cracks heel ( :Smile: ) up and I'm fine again. 

Maybe it's the actual flights that cause it? 

I've Googled it, and apparently obesity and diabetes can cause cracked feet. I may be carrying an extra kilo or two, but no way am I obese, and I'm not diabetic... I have regular medicals. And besides, that wouldn't explain why this only happens for a few days after my flights. And it's been going on for years.

So anyway, this is why I'm not running marathons, just at the moment. This is the bottom of my left foot, and it's bloody painful just now... that's blood on the crack by my little toe. The right foot is no better.



And to anyone at liberty who's been taunting me with pictures of their delicious food... 

If this has put you off your lunch... I am really sorry.

----------


## Shutree

You need to slap a bit of moisturiser on that foot. Anything cheap will do. Does the hotel provide any in their bathroom kit? Or ask the nurse, she must be set up to get non-prescription meds for detainees. Sorry, guests. I'm sure she'll be pleased to rub it in for you.

----------


## Mandaloopy

Welcome back! I get cracked heels due to the dry cold weather here- you need to lather them in Vaseline for a couple of nights. You'll have plenty left other to use with that big wad of tissues.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - as others have said, put some lotion/ moisturiser on the foot, ideally at night before you sleep. Let the lotion dry a bit, then put socks on. The socks help trap the lotion on your skin. Same thing with hands/ gloves if one has dry skin on hands. Beauty tip 101.  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

Jeezuz that foot's not good, as mentioned you need to get moisturiser onto them. 

Really looking forward to your home cooking pics after parole, I'd imagine you've got your first few weeks meals planned and go over them in your head each time you get served things like that spaghetti abomination above.

 Here's a situation appropriate book you should grab to pass the time  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Well, thanks for the tips guys.

I seem to be all out of Vaseline!  :Smile: 

The only suitable stuff in my bathroom kit is a tub of liquid soap and a tub of shampoo. I'm not sure they'll be any good.

There's also two sealed 'dental kits', two shower caps and two packs of cotton buds, but I'll take them home for presents for the wife and daughter.

I need to do something because I'm hobbling around like a 90 year-old. 

I know I'll regret it, but I'm going to send a LINE message to my temperature nurse along with the picture of my foot. I just know that this will get complicated.

----------


## Loy Toy

^ Almost there mate.

Keep your chin up!

----------


## Saint Willy

:Puke: 

Get some moisturizer on your skin!

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ Yeah, the foot's got worse since I took that pic yesterday... but Miss Nurse is on to it. I'll see what happens but I guess a foot massage will be out of the question.

HW, my very first meal will probably be a big breakfast in the Robin Hood on Sukhumvit... I just hope they're serving alcohol again in a couple of weeks as then it'll be followed by a couple of pints of cider.

But once I get home, steak and kidney pie will be the main menu item for the first week. My daughter's been mercilessly hassling me for steak and kidney pies and quiches when I get home. She's got great taste, that kid!

Then sausages, roast lamb, fish and chips, a steak or two, roast pork with crackling and steak and kidney pie, in no particular order.

And did I mention steak and kidney pie?

And thanks for the book tip... much appreciated.


Ouch... hurry up Miss Nurse...

----------


## Loy Toy

> Get some moisturizer on your skin!



 :Gay:

----------


## Saint Willy

i'd rather gay and smooth baby skin, rather than that monstrosity!

----------


## Mandaloopy

Because walking in agony is so alpha-male...

----------


## Loy Toy

> i'd rather gay and smooth baby skin, rather than that monstrosity!


Moisturiser will never fix that foot Willy. 

Salt water bath and get a lot of sun if you can Mendip!

Raise your feet when your sitting down will help.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Moisturiser will never fix that foot Willy.


No, but it might have prevented or mitigated it in the first place.

----------


## Edmond

Can a surgeon enter the room or would you have to self-amputate?

----------


## Edmond

Quiz page. Question of the day:

Is this:



a) a tree bark.

b) a potato from Tesco-Lotus' discount bin.

c) a human.





Just kidding Mendy, it's not _that_ bad. (kind of)   :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ I have to do a lot of things for meself these days so I guess it'll be self amputate.

Miss Nurse is on to it and I'm expecting a tube of Eucerine cream at some point, although I've learnt that it's usually a mistake to 'expect' something here. I bet I'll even have to put the cream on meself as well.

----------


## Joe 90

> If this has put you off your lunch... I am really sorry.


Wanker :Smile: 

Have you tried athletes foot powder?

----------


## Saint Willy

> Can a surgeon enter the room or would you have to self-amputate?



good enough for this fellow...How Soviet doctor cut his own appendix in Antarctica — RTD

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah but he was trained.

I don't fancy trying it with Miss Nurse sending me cartoon pics on LINE.


^^ I haven't tried anything cos I haven't got anything with me!

It's really frustrating me now cos I don't know if the nurse is coming up or not to give me the cream and it's time for my sundowner. I don't think it would look good to have whisky on my breath.

----------


## Joe 90

I might go to the chippy for lunch today and have...

Chips, peas, gravy  and steak n kidney pie in your honour Mendip.

Hmmm, I can even smell it already.

----------


## Joe 90

> Salt water bath and get a lot of sun if you can Mendip!


This is your best bet in the absence of any other available suitable treatment.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Wanker!  :Smile: 

Tell me when you're gonna eat... I've got a picture of my other foot coming up.

^ I can do all of that apart from the salt.

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

> Quiz page. Question of the day:
> 
> Is this:
> 
> 
> 
> a) a tree bark.
> 
> b) a potato from Tesco-Lotus' discount bin.
> ...


Actually looks like the foot pad on any of my big tortoises that cruise around our place. ....Sorry Mendip   :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> I bet I'll even have to put the cream on meself as well.


In the off chance she does come to your room and treats you in person, tell her your dick tastes funny too. Follow me for more free medical advice  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

I think I'm having a home made steak sandwich for dinner. 

pics to follow.

----------


## Looper

> At least it looks like you made a wise decision to get that balcony. That must make a big difference.


You lucked out getting the south facing balcony too with the sun mendip. Would have been annoying to be stuck on a shady balcony in the nice weather.

Can't you request a palette of Tom Yum mama Noodles to supplement the meagre fare. You must have a kettle in your room to do the honours.

I used to love those noodles when in LOS on safari

----------


## Mendip

^ You don't appreciate the planning that went into this Looper... once I procured a room with a balcony I subsequently requested a south facing balcony, direct to the receptionist.

Without a balcony this would be a real struggle, but with is no problem.

The noodles are a good idea. Some of the food is surprisingly not too bad, but such small portions. A noodle supper would go down well.


^^ Well KW, enjoy your steak sandwich.

You can't say I didn't warn you... wankers the lot of you.  :Smile: 

Here's a pic of my right foot while trying Loy Toy's and Joe 90's recommendation of sticking it in the sun.



Enjoy your dinner!

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^^ Well KW, enjoy your steak sandwich.


Fried onion. Mushrooms. Cheese. Branston pickles.

----------


## Stumpy

> Enjoy your dinner!


I just verp'd  thanks Mendip.

----------


## Dillinger

^ Thats cancer that is


Anyone tried these new Maccy D Breakfast baps.



Sausage and egg muffins with real bacon and hp... Lush :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

Think we might need this thread updated with a *WARNING:  Contains graphic images" header.

----------


## Saint Willy

I'm gonna red anyone who reposts that disgusting image!

----------


## Dillinger

Thatll be the new 1.jpg

----------


## Saint Willy

nooooooooooooo


 :tantrum:

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: 

Skipped the chippy and Mcdonald's for the new Greggs Cornish Pasty.

Look at those peas and juicy beef..


Washed it down with a milky coffee, very nice.

Might have to have a siesta before a bike ride this afternoon.

----------


## Dillinger

^ mmm. I'll have to try that,after these chicken sliders

----------


## Mendip

^^ The only person who goes to Greggs to improve his food pics!  :Smile: 

McDonalds, Greggs... it does look good but think of your health guys.

My feet may be a bit manky just now but they'll be OK in a couple of days. Can you say that about your cholesterol?

Ride carefully Joe.

----------


## Dillinger



----------


## Mendip

^ And WTF is that?

It's not me who needs to see a doctor.

----------


## Dillinger

> My feet may be a bit manky just now but they'll be OK in a couple of days.


Thats what Bob Marley thought :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Anyway, I got a bun tonight so bollox to you people.

----------


## Dillinger

Was gonna buy you a nice cream cake and eat it but got to the door and they are eggless. :yerman: 

What is it with all this plant based food and vegan shit nowadays

----------


## OhOh

> Without a balcony this would be a real struggle, but with is no problem.


Yes, being able to get to fresh air is a must. 

I had a view overlooking a bridge being built. Watching the various cranes, JCB's and pile drivers. all doing their thigs,

Looking to the right was the roof of the adjacent block, I was on tha 12th floor. It was one of the exercise areas. Singles, couples and mums and dads with kids in tow. Some power walkers, mostly casual walking, many just sitting and chatting. The kids on scooters and kicking balls around. Early evenings were the busiest.

The other TD qurantine survivor had cold food, he let reception know and the problem disappeared. Did you ask about ordering from the hotel menu.

Have you tried the menu Thai options or the vegetarian offerings?

One thing to add to pre ASQ selection, food menu and pics. My food was similar but mine was a 40k package. 

Another few days, a negative test and you'll be issued with a green bracelet. Then the options increase. Chaperoned to the excise yard, swap tales and tips with the other inmates, a swim in the pool ....

Be safe.

----------


## bsnub

> I got a bun tonight so bollox to you people.


That looks like a muffin. These are buns...

----------


## PAG

> Anyway, I got a bun tonight so bollox to you people.


Penang Gai looks OK.

----------


## Saint Willy



----------


## David48atTD

... or you could exercise

Just start @ the 2min mark as he has that, typical of his generation, annoying 'Tik-Tok' style long winded intro

----------


## Dillinger



----------


## Joe 90

Very nice, sweet and sour chicken or pork?

Might have to nip out to the Chinese takeaway  :Smile: 

Trouble is its next to the kebab house and I may get distracted.

----------


## hallelujah

> Very nice, sweet and sour chicken or pork?
> 
> Might have to nip out to the Chinese takeaway 
> 
> Trouble is its next to the kebab house and I may get distracted.


Is it not gulab jamun?

----------


## Joe 90

It's all Dutch to me  :smiley laughing: ,  pancake Lom?

----------


## Saint Willy

Making myself a decent homemade coffee. Have a good morning Mendip.

----------


## Stumpy

Good Morning Mendip.

----------


## nidhogg

Fresh coffee brewing.  Life is great.

Morning, Mendip.

----------


## Saint Willy

3rd coffee.

steaming hot.

----------


## Mendip

Good morning guys!

Thanks for all the food pics... much appreciated. And my feet are feeling a bit better today, thanks for asking.

As is usual of my life in Thailand, I don't really know what's going on. Yesterday Miss Nurse sent me a load of pictures of foot creams and moisturisers on LINE, so I said, 'Yes please, that would be great'. But nothing has happened. I thought maybe it would arrive last night with my dinner, but no. Then I thought it would arrive this morning with my breakfast... but no. I'm reluctant to ask again as then I'll probably get a new tube of foot cream every morning. I'll see what happens today.




> Penang Gai looks OK.


It was good PAG and was my best meal of the sentence so far. 

It made me think... American breakfasts are pretty dodgy in Thailand at the best of times, and are virtually inedible when stone cold. So I'm sticking to the Thai options from now on... still edible when cold and I need the spare rice for my pigeons.

Gung fried rice today... with cold toast!



With a balcony I have the choice of eating breakfast 'al fresco'. 

Yeah, I may not have McDonalds or Greggs in my ASQ... but Dill and Joe, try eating your lard soaked chips and gravy out in your gardens while you're stuck in those bleak northern ghettos during the bleak mid winter. You'll need more than a flat cap to keep warm this time of year!  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

2nd coffee down, have annoyed a few people online, now time to cycle 60km before lunch.


Get stuck into the exercise bud. Split up 25 wall to wall sprints with 25 push ups on the balcony x 5, to start off.

----------


## Mendip

But all said and done, I'm in real trouble here...

Four days in and my carefully rationed whisky looks like this...



And I let myself down a bit last night... I nailed my daughter's duty free chocolates while watching 'Line of Duty' until 3am...



I also brought my daughter a few culinary delicacies back from Sweden, but it will be a bladdy miracle if they survive another 10 days...



And look at me tin of custard... that was in perfect condition when I checked in my bag at Gothenburg. God knows how my jar of peas survived.




And all the while I sit inside watching the news and writing this post... my new friend is sitting outside on the balcony wall looking at me, and making these cooing noises. I'll miss her when I leave.

----------


## Mendip

> 2nd coffee down, have annoyed a few people online, now time to cycle 60km before lunch.
> 
> 
> Get stuck into the exercise bud. Split up 25 wall to wall sprints with 25 push ups on the balcony x 5, to start off.


Yeah right... that should get the cracks in the bottom of my feet bleeding nicely!  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Good to see you have survived another day and what's more seem to have retained your sense of humour.
With those gross feet of yours and the tossers on here teasing you with food pictures, if it were me I think I would have jumped by now.

Anyway speaking of your new found friend "cooing" you obviously don't understand pigeon as what she is saying is a repitition of what you have been saying since you got there
i.e. feed me, feed me!

Just remember time IS passing and one day it will al be over.

----------


## Headworx

Mendip, you can all those _culinary delicacies_ from Siamburi's in Pattaya and they deliver nation-wide now I believe, so do Siam Expat Food. So while surfing those pages and making enquiries about a price list and delivery, just eat everything and come up with some cock-n-bull story for your daughter about the treats you promised her having to be quarantined too and they'll be delivered shortly  :Smile: 

Get some Manston Epicure Breakfast sausages on order too, had some for brekky earlier and they're simply sensational  :Razz:

----------


## Edmond

> Yeah right... that should get the cracks in the bottom of my feet bleeding nicely!


Push-ups and sit-ups. 8 sets of each for Day 1.


Don't be a droopy-dill.

----------


## Mendip

^^ I am literally salivating looking at that picture. I was considering issuing my first ever 'red', but as you've also given me a couple of hours of quality food surfing time on the net I guess it cancels out!  :Smile: 

It just seems a bit wrong to eat all my daughter's presents, but I am leaning that way.

Those sausages look just perfect, by the way.

To be honest, with decent food, unlimited alcohol and maybe the occasional 'visit', this quarantine malarkey could be quite enjoyable.

----------


## PAG

> Yeah right... that should get the cracks in the bottom of my feet bleeding nicely!

----------


## Mendip

> Push-ups and sit-ups. 8 sets of each for Day 1.
> 
> 
> Don't be a droopy-dill.


That I can do!

How many are in a set?

I've done one get-up and three sit-ups already today. I'm also looking on Lazada for a home gym... JPPR put me on to one and I'm thinking of having it ready at home for me.

I've also been assured that my foot cream will arrive today, so the half marathons start soon.


^ And FFS... OK, I'll start exercising right now!

----------


## Edmond

Men-dy Su Su!
Men-dy Su Su!

At first, give 20 x push-ups then 20 x sit-ups, six times in a row a go.

That would do before lunch.


Once your foot heals and yer mobile, I'd go for one cardio session (running) before lunch, and one upper-body session in the afternoon before dinner.

----------


## Mendip

^ Feet, not foot. 

I've got two of 'em... before you suggest I do half marathon hops around my room.

----------


## baldrick

^ I think doing it walking on your hands would satisfy him

----------


## Mendip

> 3rd coffee.
> 
> steaming hot.



Second coffee... also steaming hot.

Not so very different I feel.

You say tomato, I say potato.

----------


## Shutree

> Yesterday Miss Nurse sent me a load of pictures of foot creams and moisturisers on LINE, so I said, 'Yes please, that would be great'. But nothing has happened. I thought maybe it would arrive last night with my dinner, but no. Then I thought it would arrive this morning with my breakfast... but no. I'm reluctant to ask again as then I'll probably get a new tube of foot cream every morning. I'll see what happens today.
> 
> 
> 
> It was good PAG and was my best meal of the sentence so far. 
> 
> It made me think... American breakfasts are pretty dodgy in Thailand at the best of times, and are virtually inedible when stone cold. So I'm sticking to the Thai options from now on... still edible when cold and I need the spare rice for my pigeons.
> 
> Gung fried rice today... with cold toast!


Good morning. Another night ticked off.

If the cream does not arrive, _in extremis_ that butter might be better than nothing.

My own heel cracked open recently. The first time ever. I share this only because I learned something after the gf liberally applied her special foot cream. What I learned is that you should follow Miss Kit's advice and slip some socks on over the greasy feet. I didn't stop to do this and learned the hard way, the very hard way, what happens when greasy foot meets polished tile floor.

----------


## Edmond

String up a rope from the balcony and do 2 hours of tightrope walking.

----------


## baldrick

> String up a rope from the balcony and


hang edmond

----------


## Edmond

edmond's hung.

----------


## Mendip

> String up a rope from the balcony and do 2 hours of tightrope walking.


I've already asked for a length of rope, but along with a knife that doesn't seem to be coming either. I don't know why.

And good plan Baldrick!





> With those gross feet of yours and the tossers on here teasing you with food pictures, if it were me I think I would have jumped by now.


I admit my feet are probably not my best feature just now Ootai, but I think _gross_ is a bit strong.





> If the cream does not arrive, _in extremis_ that butter might be better than nothing.
> 
> My own heel cracked open recently. The first time ever. I share this only because I learned something after the gf liberally applied her special foot cream. What I learned is that you should follow Miss Kit's advice and slip some socks on over the greasy feet. I didn't stop to do this and learned the hard way, the very hard way, what happens when greasy foot meets polished tile floor.


Sound advice Shutree, and well received. It's strange... it always used to be my heels that cracked but this time it seems to be the front of my feet. I think the front is probably more painful.

Sadly I threw out the last bit of butter but I have some Tartar Sauce left over from lunch. I'll maybe try that as my foot cream again didn't turned up with the food.

I'll also try and find some _unused_ socks because the last thing I need is an injury. I wouldn't rely on first responders turning up any time soon at this place.

Today's lunch was undoubtedly my best meal so far, although only four days in and I'm now down to half a jar of peas. I spooned out the peas into a bowl and poured hot water over them from the kettle. Not ideal but they were the hottest food of my lunch. Never have I enjoyed a portion of peas so much!

But only 8 chips with my fish... FFS.



I'm gonna take it easy this afternoon and watch a movie... to take my mind off things.

----------


## aging one

Bummer on the fries, they are not supposed to be a countable noun. Hey call down and tell them you simply need more food. You are not 160 centimeters tall, and dont weigh 60 kilos. Dont be shy, if you are brave enough to show those ugly ass feet, go for more food.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> But all said and done, I'm in really trouble here...
> 
> Four days in and my carefully rationed whisky looks like this...


^That my friend is a SAD SAD state of affairs right there. 4 days in and that's all you have left?? How many floors are you up?  :smiley laughing: 

The rest of the food I could live without. Spam and all that packaged crap might work as barter for another bottle. I'd start negotiating with the other inmates...Opps I mean quarantiners'

Also from an exercise point of view, do like I used to on business trips. I did inclined push ups. Put your feet on the chair, head down and rip off 20 of them in 3 sets.

----------


## Stumpy

Good Afternoon Mendip. 

Bet ya wished you had this on the table....



or this......



or this....

----------


## lom

^ There are two good whiskys there.. and a pretender

----------


## Saint Willy

:rofl:

----------


## Dillinger

Morning Mendy



Proof that a Thai can master a full English, well apart from the egg

Time for some legover pudding :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ What, was Greggs closed today?

Enjoy your pudding... hope you don't put your back out.


Don't you all think this is getting a bit childish now?  :Smile: 





> Good Afternoon Mendip. 
> Bet ya wished you had this on the table....


Instead of this taunting, when are you coming down to help me out with that fancy drone of yours?

Any one of those bottles will do.

----------


## aging one

> Instead of this taunting, when are you coming down to help me out with that fancy drone of yours?


What floor are you on? Can you make a rope out of all your old dirty clothes?  Bet someone would give ya a hand... :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

> Don't you all think this is getting a bit childish now?


What? I haven't done me cider run yet :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

> What floor are you on? Can you make a rope out of all your old dirty clothes?


Those airplane stockings would be perfect :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Don't you all think this is getting a bit childish now?


Not at all.  ::doglol::

----------


## Stumpy

> Instead of this taunting, when are you coming down to help me out with that fancy drone of yours?
> 
> Any one of those bottles will do.


You know if I was still in BKK I think I would try it just for fun. Would even try flying you up a good Pizza . Would be a TD first.... :smiley laughing:

----------


## Headworx

^^Cruel!

Mendip to take your mind off things like food and to re-assure you that the treats you bought for your daughter are replaceable (not that they ever stood a snowman's chance in hell  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): ) I'll post a few shit pics taken at Siambury's.   









And I couldn't help but buy these, not really a sweets person but these are just off the hook good. Ended up eating both  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

^  *HW* ... you are truly a cruel man  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

WOW HW....and you call me cruel..... :rofl:

----------


## Headworx

^ & ^^Wot?  :Smile: 

You just fucking know the remnants of what he brought back for his little girl will get necked along with the remaining Scotch later today, my post is only to let him know there's no need to beat himself up mentally or get a dose of the guilts when it happens. If he plays his cards right, a huge box of goodies could make it to his house before he gets there!

----------


## Stumpy

Yeah, I am bettin that Scotch is already gone HW. I know I would be wringin that bottle like a sponge to get every last drop and might even eat the cork.  :Smile:  

The candies are an order away for his daughter.

----------


## Headworx

> Yeah, I am bettin that Scotch is already gone HW.


To be frank, he's fucked up royally leaving that much in the bottle. Just enough to get a light buzz going and really start to enjoy it then BAM!! that's the end of it. The drinkers equivalent of blue-balls  :Sad:

----------


## nidhogg

> Don't you all think this is getting a bit childish now? 
> 
> 
> Instead of this taunting, .


That is nice innit?  All of us doing our best to show solidarity, and cheering you on to keep your chin up, and that is the thanks we get.

Fine.  I will not tell you about the oven fired pizza and glass of cold beer I had for lunch today, even though it was absolutely delish....

----------


## Saint Willy

I';m enjoying a proper tea now, but i wont share with the ungrateful bugger.

----------


## Mendip

> Those airplane stockings would be perfect


They're not fukkin stockings, they're socks.


I must have made the good behaviour list because today I got my first pudding. I'm sure long term tourists will flock to Thailand once they know they'll get a tub of ice cream on Day 4 of quarantine.

I stuck it in the freezer to give meself something to look forward to later.

It's not as good as HW's pudding (which would have gone great with my tin of custard) and probably not as good as Dill's morning pudding, but it is still a pudding.



I resisted as long as humanly possible... but... my last sundowner of the incarceration.



And yep, you called that one HW...  it just gave me enough of a buzz to want another. FFS... this ain't gonna be easy. 

To be honest if I didn't have my little pigeon to talk to I think I'd be going mad already.



What disturbs me most is that after only four days I've finished my whisky, nailed my daughter's duty free chocolates and am even considering putting Tartar Sauce on my cracked feet... my foot cream still hasn't turned up.

WTF am I gonna be like in another ten days... I'm starting to get a bit worried about this.

----------


## nidhogg

^ Dunno if it is worth trying, but get your missus to call the hotel, and see if it is possible to drop off a "care package" for you.  Dare say we can work out some way to get something to you if it is possible.

----------


## Stumpy

> And yep, you called that one HW...  it just gave me enough of a buzz to want another. FFS... this ain't gonna be easy. 
> 
> To be honest if I didn't have my little pigeon to talk to I think I'd be going mad already.
> 
> 
> 
> What disturbs me most is that after only four days I've finished my whisky, nailed my daughter's duty free chocolates and am even considering putting Tartar Sauce on my cracked feet... my foot cream still hasn't turned up.
> 
> WTF am I gonna be like in another ten days... I'm starting to get a bit worried about this.


Yeah man..Brutal.  Sleep with the cork bedside. You can squeek out another day with the smell of a good Whiskey.  BTW, I can see the hotel offers top whiskey drinking glasses.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

> That is nice innit?  All of us doing our best to show solidarity, and cheering you on to keep your chin up, and that is the thanks we get.
> 
> Fine.  I will not tell you about the oven fired pizza and glass of cold beer I had for lunch today, even though it was absolutely delish....


I agree Nid, We are spending virtual time with our buddy here. I wasn't going to mention I had a BBQ'd 2" thick Grass Fed Ribeye Steak with corn on the cob and an ice cold Hoegaarden beer by the pool tonight, I thought that might not be appropriate given his life of Bento boxes for 14 days.  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> Dunno if it is worth trying, but get your missus to call the hotel, and see if it is possible to drop off a "care package" for you.


Two bottles of foot cream..

----------


## Saint Willy

> That is nice innit?  All of us doing our best to show solidarity, and cheering you on to keep your chin up, and that is the thanks we get.
> 
> Fine.  I will not tell you about the oven fired pizza and glass of cold beer I had for lunch today, even though it was absolutely delish....



fair’s fair.






he has a point.







all our shitty food pics







we need to up our game.








I will.








hows about a SirLoin & chips, medium rare?

----------


## hallelujah

> Bummer on the fries, they are not supposed to be a countable noun. Hey call down and tell them you simply need more food. You are not 160 centimeters tall, and dont weigh 60 kilos. Dont be shy, if you are brave enough to show those ugly ass feet, go for more food.


That's the thing. He's getting Thai portions. His panang gai looked ok the other day, but I'd have still been Hank Marvin after that!

----------


## Dillinger

^^ what topping you got on that bud? Looks like Branston pickle :Smile: 

I'm looking for something to adorn my dry aged, grass fed Jock ribeye :Smile: 




A little Vino accompaniment




Finished off with some jammy teacakes :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> ^ Dunno if it is worth trying, but get your missus to call the hotel, and see if it is possible to drop off a "care package" for you.  Dare say we can work out some way to get something to you if it is possible.


Sounds like a movie. 

Mission to supply Mendy. 

Good idea though. 


I think I read back 12-13 years where there was a call to supply a dodgy poster by the name of Dalton with some dodgy porn while stuck on a base in Greenland or somewhere. Know one wee koont sent off some Patpong DVDs, among others.


Check out if it's a goer Mendy. Would be swimming in peas for the last week.  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

Try reading a book or two. Many available online and downloadable from a range of libraries.

Don't let others lifestyle limit your horizon.

----------


## Dillinger

Ribeye and last nights forgotten Chinese ribs and prawn crackers :Smile: 


And an ice cold wifebeater :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> what topping you got on that bud? Looks like Branston pickle


Well spotted, Branston pickle and some dijon mustard. 

I rather fancy some biscuits with a crumbly cheddar slathered in lashings of Branston pickle right now.

----------


## Dillinger

> Branston pickle and some dijon mustard.


Hmmmm. Trying to taste it..... No, that can't be good....Thats worse than beetroot :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

Anyone know the carrying capacity of a typical Thai Pigeon, preferably in centiliters. 

Asking for a friend  ::chitown::

----------


## Saint Willy

Dunno, but a fully laden African Swallow would be able to do the job!

----------


## David48atTD

Mendip, to while away the time.

How many peas on this plate?

----------


## David48atTD

Pea Inspiration ...



One thing I look forward to each year is the early season fresh  English peas. Not to be confused with snow peas, with very thin edible  pods and tiny undeveloped seeds, or crisp crunchy snap peas, English  peas must be shucked. 

Their sweet, plump seeds are encased in large,  tough pods that must be removed before eating. Typically available here  the end of May, English peas prefer the cooler growing temperatures of  late spring and early summer. Theyre here for only a few short weeks  before the heat of summer arrives, so be on the lookout for them.


 Did you know that one serving of spring peas contains more protein  than an egg? They are extremely high in fiber with less than a gram of  fat and no cholesterol. They contain phytonutrients, which new findings  suggest may lower the risk of stomach cancers. They also are rich in  antioxidants and have anti-inflammatory properties. Remember when your  mom told you to eat your peas? Well, apparently she was right about  that, too.


*Seared Sea Scallops with English Pea Puree*

*4 cups water* 
*1 tablespoon salt*  
*2 cups shucked English peas* 
*1 lemon, juiced and zest reserved for garnish* 
*2 tablespoons olive oil*  
* 1/4- 1/3 cup chicken stock*  

*1 small garlic clove
*
* 1/4 cup fresh mint leaves (packed)*  
* 1/4 cup fresh Italian parsley (packed)*  
* 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt (less if using regular salt)*  
* 1/4 teaspoon white pepper*  
* 2 tablespoons canola oil*  
*12-16 large sea scallops (depending on size)* 
*salt and pepper for seasoning* 
*1 teaspoon white truffle oil*

----------


## Saint Willy

^^ Not enough.

^ Thats looks sensational! I’m making it tonight! Green owed

----------


## David48atTD

How many peas on this plate?

To the nearest hundred will do.

No googling now!

----------


## David48atTD

> ^ Thats looks sensational! I’m making it tonight! Green owed


Here you go ... Ahh shucks – it’s all good | The Spokesman-Review

Post up a pic when done.

I'd struggle to make that as the last ingredient, *1 teaspoon white truffle oil,* doesn't frequent our pantry  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

Was gonna buy a lot of poncey ciders but Magners are on offer at 10 for 200 baht, so just bought the one Rattler, which hit the spot in this balmy 10 degree freak  heatwave we're having :Smile:  It also sounded pretty apt for how he's gonna be feeling for a bit if we can't get a drone to him.




Wonder if he picks the raisins out of hot cross buns :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

> WTF am I gonna be like in another ten days... I'm starting to get a bit worried about this.


I am guessing the tartare sauce and the hole in the chair will have a starring role

----------


## Stumpy

Morning Mendip. Rise and Shine.  What's on the agenda today?

----------


## Mendip

> Morning Mendip. Rise and Shine.  What's on the agenda today?


Morning JP!

Funny you should ask...

I had a LINE message from Miss Nurse last light telling me that between 10:00 and 11:30am I will be picked up and taken for a PCR test. This is Day 5... and if I pass the swab test I believe that I'll be let out of the room for an hour or so every day from Day 7!



Yes, and I also eventually got my foot cream last night! They must have been sitting on it... it seems all I had to do was to constantly remind them that I still needed it.

I'll be running half marathons in no time.



No drone came last night...?





> Ribeye and last nights forgotten Chinese ribs and prawn crackers



Glad to see you're using lockdown to brush up on your maths.

That northern diet really isn't very healthy... only two bits of carrot?

You know what that meal needs...





> How many peas on this plate?


97





> Did you know that one serving of spring peas contains more protein  than an egg? They are extremely high in fiber with less than a gram of  fat and no cholesterol. They contain phytonutrients, which new findings  suggest may lower the risk of stomach cancers. They also are rich in  antioxidants and have anti-inflammatory properties. Remember when your  mom told you to eat your peas? Well, apparently she was right about  that, too.


Yes, I knew... I've known for years!

They also contain more Vitamin C, pound for pound, than oranges.

If one good thing comes out of my sacrifice it will be that this message gets out to the masses.

It's not only your mum who's been telling you to eat your peas!






> Wonder if he picks the raisins out of hot cross buns


No I don't, because I don't eat that shit. And it's not even Easter yet.

I do pick the raisins out of muesli though... they completely ruin it!

----------


## Mendip

> Try reading a book or two. Many available online and downloadable from a range of libraries.
> 
> Don't let others lifestyle limit your horizon.



You know OhOh, if this confinement has already taught me two things about myself...

I'm slightly more dependent on alcohol than I'm comfortable with.

And how hard I now find it to read a book.

I used to read loads, but have become so used to passively watching stuff or looking at stuff on my laptop or phone that I now find it very difficult to concentrate on reading. If I had done this quarantine ten years ago I'd have been reading a novel every two days.

Gerald Seymour is my favourite author, yet after 5 days here I'm only on page 22 of his latest novel. I bought this last July at the airport on my way to work and it's remained untouched in my bag for six months!



It's also made me realise that if someone who grew up reading books can become so out of the habit, then what chance does my daughter have, who's growing up with screens and rarely touches a book. This is something I'm going to put right when I get home.

Maybe everyone should do a 14 day quarantine to learn these things about themselves?

But I'm still going to use my little outing downstairs today for my PCR test to try and bribe my chaperone to get me a bottle of Hong Thong from 7-Eleven!

----------


## bsnub

> Ribeye and last nights forgotten Chinese ribs and prawn crackers


Good god it takes a real heathen to treat a rib eye that way. Judging by your last pics of steak I can only imagine it was cooked the consistency of shoe leather.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

Sounds like a packed day Mendip but all progressing. btw, on your foot cream, I recommend you add the cream and put on socks. This will help keep them moist. That's a trick my daughter told me about, same for hands. Put on creme and pull on some gloves. 

Good Luck on the tests today

----------


## Stumpy

> Good god it takes a real heathen to treat a rib eye that way.


I was gonna say the same thing snubs. How can someone destroy a cut of steak like that.  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> I was gonna say the same thing snubs. How can someone destroy a cut of steak like that.


Cheers bro. I am doing a bit of day drinking to celebrate this early inauguration. I intend to stay drunk for the rest of the day and when I wake up the orange moron will be gone for good.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Have one for me snubs... I'm on the wagon just now.

----------


## Stumpy

> I intend to stay drunk for the rest of the day and when I wake up the orange moron will be gone for good.


Yeah, the knucklehead will be gone soon....




> Have one for me snubs... I'm on the wagon just now.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## bsnub

> Have one for me snubs... I'm on the wagon just now.


I will Mendy. You are one of the good ones on here. JP I do not think he is on the wagon by choice. That bottle of duty free is gone, and he nursed it longer than I would have.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> I will Mendy. You are one of the good ones on here. JP I do not think he is on the wagon by choice. That bottle of duty free is gone, and he nursed it longer than I would have.


Oh I know its not by choice. I was laughing at how Mendy worded it. "I'm on the Wagon just now"  :Smile: . I know if I was in BKK i'd get him a bottle, there is always a way round these parts.

----------


## bsnub

> I know if I was in BKK i'd get him a bottle, there is always a way round these parts.


We both would along with some bird seed and a sack of frozen peas.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I had the knock on the door at 11am and was chaperoned down to the Covid testing station.



It was the PCR test, one to the back of the throat and one up the nose. I'd gone 53 years with never having a swab test and now I've had three in the past 6 weeks.

In two days I get the results. If I pass I believe I get privileges such as being allowed out into the garden for an hour a day.

On the way back to my room I tried to do the deal with my chaperone in the lift... a very generous offer for a couple of bottles of Hong Thong. He was having none of it... reckoned there are cameras everywhere.

So excitement over, off he went. I'm now working on Plan B.



Once I get home I've decided to finally turn things around this year and have been busy on Lazada.

Before I do the deed... any of you gym types... Edmond? What do you think of this bad boy? JP... is this the one you have?

----------


## Stumpy

Yep thats the one I have and love it Mendip. Put in a bit of time each day. Very sturdy and well designed pulley system.

----------


## Dillinger

Its brisk 10k walks you need mate, slowly built up so those cankles can take it. :Smile:  and a nutritionist and possibly your stomach stapled.

I'll join you in Spring when I come out of hibernation :Smile: 

Start by drinking a litre of water before your food  to fill you up.

Baby steps.

----------


## Dillinger

I can't believe how strict that 2 week isolation you are going through is.

Fuck that for a laugh

----------


## David48atTD

> Its brisk 10k walks you need mate, slowly built up so those cankles can take it. and a nutritionist and possibly your stomach stapled.
> 
> I'll join you in Spring when I come out of hibernation
> 
> Start by drinking a litre of water before your food  to fill you up.
> 
> Baby steps.


^  THIS, 

plus Mendip, start with those hotel exercises I had in the video ... DID YOU WATCH IT?

Those fancy exercise machines don't do the work ... YOU have to  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> Before I do the deed... any of you gym types... Edmond? What do you think of this bad boy?


Looks good.

But as Dave-O said, it's you that does the work, not the machine. 

Weights are only one part of it. Diet and cardio another.

For me, getting out moving every day with walks, then jogs, then runs, and now either running or cycling each morning was the main thing for stripping off 10kg of blubber. 

I then do free-weights in the afternoon. Bench, dumbbells and bar. The only things I use my Homegym for are back (lat-pull downs) and triceps (tricep, err, pull downs, using the same bar.)

Cardio in the morning - walking running cycling
Gym in the afternoon
While cutting out sugars and lowering the amount of stodge in your diet

Everyday, slowly but surely will work wonders.



Good luck.  :tumbs:

----------


## cyrille

> cutting out sugars


Well, Mendip's diet and lifestyle have been pretty much 'public domain' for the last few months, so here's my prescription, since he asked... :Wink: 

Step 1
Cut down your drinking. Especially that 'nothing' drinking when you swig back about a thousand calories just for something to do about 5 nights per week.

Step 2
Whichever form of aerobic exercise you favour.

Cost
Zero baht.

OR

......spend thousands and fanny about with it, washing down dustbin lid-sized pizzas with booze but balancing it out with whey protein drinks.  :Very Happy:

----------


## cyrille

BTW... it may be worth calculating your BMI.

----------


## Dillinger

Dont listen to Cyrille about BMI or whey.

Wait til Spring, and you can follow my Dilph Lungren thread



Go slow, catch monkey

----------


## Stumpy

I am with Dave and Edmond. I use the gym system in conjunction with putting in about 12 to 15k steps a day plus a cycle ride ranging from 7 to 20 kms a day(depending on my mood and work timing). It's about balance and diet.  I will say however I have absolutely no plan to give up drinking. I keep active so I can drink and sustain my weight.  I am very disciplined about my diet and portion sizes and never eat breakfast.  Never have.

----------


## Edmond

> aerobic exercise


No time like the present.





Rock that Lycra Mendy.


I do agree though. Moving and sweating for an hour everyday will be better than only shifting from the armchair to the home gym, for melting that blubber.

----------


## Stumpy

> Dont listen to Cyrille about BMI or whey.
> 
> Wait til Spring, and you can follow my Dilph Lungren thread
> 
> 
> 
> Go slow, catch monkey


I do not know what all that surrounding crap is Dil, but that is a nice looking RibEye. Light salt and pepper, a rub of a garlic and onion powder and BAM...grill time.  Sear on each side for 3 mins, lower BBQ heat and few more flips and that is ready to be chowed down with a good whiskey or ice cold beer. You could toss in a veggie or 2 for garnishing if ya want but no peas please.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Edmond

> I am very disciplined about my diet and portion sizes and never eat breakfast.


Funny you should say that.

In 2 years I've naturally shifted from beans, hashbrown, toast, eggs and sausages, to only bacon and eggs, which now fills me up and gets me through a 40km bike ride or 10km jog 20 minutes later.

----------


## Edmond

> Wait til Spring, and you can follow my Dilph Lungren thread


Please don't post photos.

----------


## cyrille

> I've naturally shifted ...


Christ, here goes TD's Arthur Fonzarelli again.

You 'naturally shifted' fuck all.  :Very Happy: 

You found out that the other constituents of your breakfast were bad news, and started eating just bacon and eggs.

Very sensible, unlike all the nonsense dill fannies around with. I bet he had a nutri bullet too, but jammed it with all the turmeric he put in.

----------


## ootai

I was not going to mention BMI as I am not sure about how valid it is BUT lots of doctors use it as a quick and dirty comparison.
So I calculated mine and I come in at 29 (height 1.8m,weight 94kgs) so according to the charts I am just under the 30 which would qualify me as obese.
So I can proudly say I am just a fat kunt.

As for our mate Mendip he has said his weight is 110kgs so to get under a BMI of 30 he would need to be 1.92m tall and looking a photos he posted I don't think he there yet.
So he's got to join the OBESE club.
So if you want get our of the obese club and join my fat kunt club Mendip, you need to grow a lot or loss some weight.

How's that for motivation? 
If its not enough then I can't help you sorry!

----------


## ootai

> Funny you should say that.
> 
> In 2 years I've naturally shifted from beans, hashbrown, toast, eggs and sausages, to only bacon and eggs, which now fills me up and gets me through a 40km bike ride or 10km jog 20 minutes later.


Who would put themselves through that much torture just to be able to say they are not a fat kunt?
I knew a lot of young healthy fit people who used to do all that shit and now they're dead so I guess it helped them lead a short BUT healthy life.
I'm planning on a long and who gives a fuk life, so far its working.

----------


## Edmond

> You 'naturally shifted' fuck all.


I did.


In fact, I'm currently writing a book about it, that will help educate university professors on the subject.





> Who would put themselves through that much torture just to be able to say they are not a fat kunt?


Other than it being enjoyable, looking and feeling fantastic, plus being able to be annoyingly patronizing about it, I'm not sure.  :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

> I was not going to mention BMI


I just mentioned it because Mendip rejects the 'obese' tag out of hand.

As you know, you no longer need to be a beachball.

Pictorial evidence suggests he's there or not far away.

Sorry Mendip, but knowing your starting point is useful.  :Wink:

----------


## Edmond

Do you have a bike back at home Mendy?

----------


## cyrille

He's got that fantastic swimming pool.

----------


## Stumpy

> In 2 years I've naturally shifted from beans, hashbrown, toast, eggs and sausages, to only bacon and eggs, which now fills me up and gets me through a 40km bike ride or 10km jog 20 minutes later.


You know bacon is really pretty bad for you. Loaded with preservatives, you fry it and its loaded with Sodium. Don't get me wrong I LOVE bacon but eat it once every 2 to 3 weeks. I see these daily pics you guys post of breakfasts that could feed a family of four. That Breakfast you mentioned is a Fat ass breakfast. You do not need that much food to roll on a 40Km bike ride. I knock back a glass of OJ  clock off 20km with ease. 




> You 'naturally shifted' fuck all


 :smiley laughing: 




> Who would put themselves through that much torture just to be able to say they are not a fat kunt


Exactly right. Remember doctors and the medical community keep changing all the numbers as it pays big money to have everyone with diabetes, hypertension and "fat kunts" as you stated. I refuse to give up the things I like for some silly ass number derived from a sample experiment on 5,000 people. Moderation, portion size with proper food, daily activity is all one needs to remain healthy and naturally fit. All the extra work folks do to look like a man Fitness mag is up to them but I too know a lot of guys that did marathons, triathlons, extreme weight lifting and many of them are dead or having numerous surgeries to fix all the shit they fuked up. And the big weight lifter guys are flabby now as they built up so much mass with all those protein diets that they cannot sustain it.

@ mendy: Just find a comfortable routine regiment that works for you. If you enjoy it, you will do it and that is 90% of the game anyway.   :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

So is that a yes or no on the gym then?  :Smile: 


I hate to say it, but I think Cyrille's nailed it.




> Well, Mendip's diet and lifestyle have been pretty much 'public domain' for the last few months, so here's my prescription, since he asked...
> 
> Step 1
> Cut down your drinking. Especially that 'nothing' drinking when you swig back about a thousand calories just for something to do about 5 nights per week.
> 
> Step 2
> Whichever form of aerobic exercise you favour.
> 
> Cost
> ...



Several things have instigated this.

The latest one was, strangely enough, this BMI thing you're talking about. I had to fill out a medical app when I started quarantine to upload my temperature twice a day. For some reason I also had to enter my height and weight, and somehow this app seems to think that I'm 'obese'. It seems that I've gone past ootai's 'fat kunt' stage, and I'm really not happy about it.

Thanks to a combination of Covid and Brexit my regular overseas work tripst will be extremely difficult to maintain. The dry offshore trips have always regulated my weight, but if I'm to be spending a lot more time at home I have to accept I need a life style change.

My life at home is very different to my life at work, and to be honest my diet isn't too bad. No dustbin sized pizzas in Korat, and plenty of veg. I can cut the carbs right down. But as Cyrille politely points out, I need to stop the habitual guzzling of Leo in the evenings. So there's Step 1.

Step 2... cycling ain't gonna happen on the roads near me. And 10km walks are a good idea, but it's fitting them in. Two school runs a day and everything else going on don't leave a lot of spare time before it gets dark in the evening, not to mention 40 degree heat by March. And there's nowhere close by that really lends itself to long walks without a lengthy drive first. My plan is to split up the dog walks after the morning school run... instead of one walk with five dogs, do two walks. Maybe once I lose a bit of weight the walk with the younger digs can turn into a jog. That's 3 or 4km, just like that.

We have a 12m long pool, so there's an easy half hour of lengths every morning, and again in the evening during my Leo time. I'll do this with my daughter in the evening as she also needs more exercise.

And I thought a half hour on a fancy poolside gym before the swim would be good... it's not only me, I have to make it fun for my daughter.

That leaves Leo on a Friday night with my Welsh mate and a few Hong Thongs on a Saturday night.

Job done!

----------


## ootai

I was actually talking to a couple of Farang mates here in the village this morning and cycling to get fit or to save money came up in discussion.
all of us agreed that riding a bicycle anywhere on a well used Thai road would almost be suicidal so it would have to be riding around the countryside on non sealed backroads.
To do that I think you would need one of those bike with large tryes (tires for JPPR2) and it would need shock absorbers as well.
The closest main road to me is Hwy 24 and there is no way I am riding a b push bike on it.
Also as an excuse, I have had a knee replacement and have read that riding is not really a good thing to do.
So I guess its back to the chair and being or remaining a fat kunt.

----------


## lom

> For some reason I also had to enter my height and weight, and somehow this app seems to think that I'm 'obese'.


That explains why they serve you those lean meals.. They must be laughing in the kitchen, "let's see if he eats this or returns it"  :Smile:

----------


## aging one

Hey Mendid, do this BMI calculator. I just did it. Then shoot me a message letting me know I will screenshot mine now for you.   :Smile: 

BMI calculator | Check your BMI - NHS

----------


## Stumpy

> To do that I think you would need one of those bike with large tryes (tires for JPPR2) and it would need shock absorbers as well.


I agree. I have an older Trek 4900 with a front shock lock out and use the mtn off road style tires most of the time. Occasionally a friend asks me if I want to do a long ride in some Thai deal and I swap out the tires for my road tires. Up here in Lampang there are beautiful roads to ride on and so many side roads to avoid main highways. and NO, I do not wear Lycra or Spandex matching bike poofter shit.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

> I just did it. Then shoot me a message letting me know I will screenshot mine now for you


Just did mine A0. 22.4 and says I am at the top end of my weight range and should lose 1.5% of my current weight.... Why bother... :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

Yeah I take no notice of these calculators. According to my stats, the lower end of my healthy weight range is 71kg which is 30+ kg under what I actually weigh. I'd look like an Auschwitz survivor during the liberation at that weight, and it would be incredibly dangerous to my health to even try to get near that range. Pass.

----------


## aging one

20.4. This keeps my insurance down at my age as well.

----------


## Shutree

> I was actually talking to a couple of Farang mates here in the village this morning and cycling to get fit or to save money came up in discussion.
> all of us agreed that riding a bicycle anywhere on a well used Thai road would almost be suicidal so it would have to be riding around the countryside on non sealed backroads.
> To do that I think you would need one of those bike with large tryes (tires for JPPR2) and it would need shock absorbers as well.
> The closest main road to me is Hwy 24 and there is no way I am riding a b push bike on it.
> Also as an excuse, I have had a knee replacement and have read that riding is not really a good thing to do.
> So I guess its back to the chair and being or remaining a fat kunt.



For me the main issue is the sea of awkward dogs on all the local roads. I haven't used my bike in weeks. A friend has an indoor bike trainer, not expensive on Lazada. Expensive options are also available. User comments suggest the 'wheel-on, friction' models are the cheapest and adequate although some are noisy and can wear down the tyre. A friend has a cheap one and rides about 6 hours per week, without leaving home and without any dog bites. I plan on ordering one this week.



Web photo of some random similar machine.

----------


## Mendip

> Hey Mendid, do this BMI calculator. I just did it. Then shoot me a message letting me know I will screenshot mine now for you.  
> 
> BMI calculator | Check your BMI - NHS


The NHS seem to think I'm 'obese' as well.

What really annoyed me when I started this quarantine was that when I filled out the health app I lied about my weight and added a couple of centimeters to my height... and I still came out as 'obese'!

 In fact the Thai app wasn't very polite at all and added an adjective in front of the obese word.

Yeah... I really have to sort this out. My daughter's only 9.

Anyway, I've made a good start today. Fish and rice with salad for dinner and no Leo tonight!

----------


## Stumpy

Here is a question for the the audience on here.

How many of you guys eat on a clock versus eat when you are actually hungry?

I know guys that eat on clock no matter what. They eat too much. I have asked them "Are you hungry?"  They say no but its 5:30 and this is when I eat.  I hear the same for bfast and lunch. A good discipline is eat when you are hungry, not to a clock and do not eat comfort food, its usually really fattening.

----------


## ootai

> Anyway, I've made a good start today. Fish and rice with salad for dinner and no Leo tonight!



Yeah right, like you have choice!

So far we have;

Obese:                                             Mendip and Headworx        I am guessing with Headworx but at 30kg+ over his ideal weight it would be close
fat Kunt:                                          ootai
stick figures  or skinny fukkers:          JPPR2 and aging one

----------


## ootai

> Here is a question for the the audience on here.
> 
> How many of you guys eat on a clock versus eat when you are actually hungry?
> 
> I know guys that eat on clock no matter what. They eat too much. I have asked them "Are you hungry?"  They say no but its 5:30 and this is when I eat.  I hear the same for bfast and lunch. A good discipline is eat when you are hungry, not to a clock and do not eat comfort food, its usually really fattening.



I eat when she has cooked it as I don't like to eat cold food unless its my morning cereal with cold milk.

As for you JPPR2 missing breakfast would mean I would fukking die. I can miss lunch but never breakfast.

----------


## PAG

I recall your post on tea bag rationing.   Food For Foreigners here in Phuket do nationwide delivery.

----------


## Stumpy

> I eat when she has cooked it as I don't like to eat cold food unless its my morning cereal with cold milk.
> 
> As for you JPPR2 missing breakfast would mean I would fukking die. I can miss lunch but never breakfast.


It has taken me years with my wife to have her ask me if I am hungry before she cooks. Initially she said Fine, cook for yourself, I said fine, I am a big boy and cooked for years before I met you. Of course you know how that flies here. LOL

I understand on Breakfast. We all have our times. I get up and have zero desire to eat anything even though my last meal was probably no later than 6 or 7pm the night before. I just like a glass of OJ usually and I am off until lunch where I usually eat a bit more because I am busy doing something after lunch then do a lighter dinner.  Another hurdle I had to overcome was my wife made Huge meals. I ate what I felt and said done. She said "you waste a lot of food", I said "no actually you do. I do not need a plate that can feed 3 or 4 people".  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> but at 30kg+ over his ideal weight it would be close
> fat Kunt: ootai


197 cm (or about 6 foot 5) and naturally big-framed but weighing 71kg is ok you say? I'd look like a fucking javelin with Aids.

----------


## lom

> I know guys that eat on clock no matter what. They eat too much. I have asked them "Are you hungry?" They say no but its 5:30 and this is when I eat. I hear the same for bfast and lunch. A good discipline is eat when you are hungry, not to a clock and do not eat comfort food, its usually really fattening.


That's exactly the opposite of what my PT once told me. 
"Eat at regular interval (5-6 hours) and eat something half ways between the meals, a yogurt or an apple. Keep the stomach working, if you don't then it will go into hibernation mode and when you eat next time it will store away the energy in your fat reservoirs thinking it is in Eritrea."

----------


## baldrick

> In fact, I'm currently writing a book about it, that will help educate university professors on the subject.


PhD , PhD , PhD

and my only suggestion was going to be balance his exercise by using his left hand instead of the gardeners




> To do that I think you would need


dog deterrents

----------


## Stumpy

> That's exactly the opposite of what my PT once told me. 
> "Eat at regular interval (5-6 hours) and eat something half ways between the meals, a yogurt or an apple. Keep the stomach working, if you don't then it will go into hibernation mode and when you eat next time it will store away the energy in your fat reservoirs thinking it is in Eritrea."


There are many theories of course and one thing for certain we all have different metabolisms thus what may work for me, will not for you which is why most diets schemes fail because they are not achieving the results the dieter expected.  I have found most that eat on a clock are lethargic and tend to schedule their entire day around when they will eat and if they miss that window they usually over eat which is worse.  I once tried the little meals with snacks and found that eating all the time was annoying.  So for today

Morning: glass of OJ and 6 or 8 big strawberries.  8km bike ride, stopped at the park. Walked about 6000 steps while I was on a conf call.  

Lunch: Spicy basil fried rice with a few pieces of pork. About 11:15

After lunch did some property stuff and added another 4500 steps

Dinner:  Carrots and asparagus over a small portion of rice and an ice cold beer.  Back out to water back forty fruit trees.  Will hit 14k steps and at least 180 minutes of active time based on my smart watch that tracks all my activities.

That's a reasonably typical type day of staying busy.

----------


## ootai

> 197 cm (or about 6 foot 5) and naturally big-framed but weighing 71kg is ok you say? I'd look like a fucking javelin with Aids.


Well when I said that I didn't know your height and yes at 71kgs you would look like a stick.
I once had a cardiologist tell me I needed to lose weight and get down to 75kgs and I told him I hadn't been that weight since before i was a teenager so it weren't gonna happen.  Sometimes I wonder how they ever graduated to be a Doctor.

----------


## Dillinger

> 10km walks are a good idea, but it's fitting them in. Two school runs a day


How far is the school away? Walk to it whilst your daughter cycles.
Hang on, aren't the kids off school?







> not to mention 40 degree heat by March


You'll burn even more calories in that and all those rabbid soi dogs aren't so vicious in the day.

Try and make sure you get 10,000 steps in a day (Samsung health app on your phone) to start.
Cut your carbs and beer and cider intake right down and it'll fall off pretty quick.

Or if you wanna lose 10 pounds of ugly fat straight away, chop your head off :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

^^^ It's not wartime you know, JPPR?  You don't have to ration your meals :Smile: 

My missus eats more than that and she's only about 2 foot 4 and 30kgs wet through.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## nidhogg

> Hey Mendid, do this BMI calculator. I just did it. Then shoot me a message letting me know I will screenshot mine now for you.  
> 
> BMI calculator | Check your BMI - NHS



Your result suggests you are
a healthy weight
23.1

----------


## Edmond

> And 10km walks are a good idea, but it's fitting them in. Two school runs a day and everything else going on don't leave a lot of spare time before it gets dark in the evening, not to mention 40 degree heat by March.


This is the sort of lazy-arse defeatism that's made my sister's BMI on par with Dilly's. 

A balloon. 



FFS man you'll be living as retired and you can't fit in an hour at the park straight after dropping off the kid at school? Can't fit in 40 minutes of home gym work before leaving to collect her? 


Hot in March? There's no gyms near the kid's school to go to just after dropping her off to do an hour on the threadmill in the aircon next to the yummy mummies 5 days a week?  :Smile: 



Christ, sounds like there's more chance of Dill's next Spring time diet fad succeeding.  :Smile:

----------


## Happy As Larry

> I plan on ordering one this week.


Do let us know how it goes

----------


## cyrille

Hey, I reckon I can guess why they decided on 299 baht for that tea.  :Very Happy: 

More expensive than any of the others...just because it has 2.99 written all over the pack.

----------


## ootai

> This is the sort of lazy-arse defeatism ........
> 
> FFS man you'll be living as retired.
> 
> Christ, sounds like there's more chance of Dill's next Spring time diet fad succeeding.


Mendip aren't you in awe of how much you are getting on this thread?
Where will it end?

----------


## Saint Willy



----------


## Saint Willy

I tried Chef Baz’s carrot purée (1 kid loved it, 1 hated it). 

half a fillet of chicken for me cos for some weird reason the missus bought 3, not 4.

plus salad




Plus some cheese & Branston on biscuits

----------


## armstrong

So many health experts on TD.

----------


## Dillinger

Take up football like Armstrong, he must be about 8 stone soaking wet. He  talks of  drinking beer all the time and eats worse than Chitty)

----------


## Saint Willy

A glass of  vermouth on the balcony.

----------


## nidhogg

I did do a fair bit of reading around today (beat working), and the alcohol prohibition seems pretty tight.  

Sorry Mendip, looks like a few days dry (bet you wished you had taken my advice to put something in your checked in bag!).

----------


## Dillinger

Shit just got real Mendy.

Order some  peas tomorrow, use those 50 sachets of sugar they gave you and improvise some of your manky foot yeast and Viola... Heavenly Homemade Pea Gin :Smile: 


Pea Moonshine and Wash Recipe – Moonshiners Club

----------


## Dillinger

Disclaimer- Theres about a 50 year stint in jail in Tingtongland for distilling your own booze :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Disclaimer- Theres about a 50 year stint in jail in Tingtongland for distilling your own booze


Recent news reports and posts on here have reminded me just what a progressive and fair-minded country the Land of Stares is.

----------


## HuangLao

> So many health experts on TD.



Experts of every flavour, actually.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):  :Blindfold: 
We're quite blessed.

----------


## Dillinger

I expected more Jeff, along the lines of starting smoking cigarettes or opium

----------


## HuangLao

> I expected more Jeff, along the lines of starting smoking cigarettes or opium




Lighting one up and pipe at the ready as we speak....
Ok, na? 

 :Smile:

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

Wife made a  Cheece Cake last night . to die for. She got the recipe on YouTube (burned Cheesecake) and was easy to make. I cant believe I have been spending soo much money for store bought Cheesecake all these years. And hers was sooo much better.
next time we will put either pineapple or cherries in top, 
PS: The salad TheRealKW posted above looked real good and inspired me, I think I will have one for lunch today.

----------


## Saint Willy

It’s burned

----------


## Stumpy

Morning Mendip.  Another X in the countdown calendar.

Have a good day  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Thank you JP... and good morning to you!

I'm just just sipping on my morning tea made from a twice-used tea bag...

... while thinking about my BMI... I have a lot of posts to respond to!

----------


## armstrong

> Take up football like Armstrong, he must be about 8 stone soaking wet. He  talks of  drinking beer all the time and eats worse than Chitty)


72kg of pure Leo and Big Macs.

----------


## Edmond

morning root + 1 coffee done.
1 more coffee with scrambled eggs and bacon. 2 hour bike ride at 9am.
Coconut oil chicken breast and veg for lunch.
Home gym.  Triceps, delts, pecs, abs.
Kidney bean and chicken masala for dinner
Walk and bit of football in the park in the evening.


Damn nice routine. 


BTW that 2018 Das Boot series is worth watching. Almost finished the first of 2 seasons. Give it a go if ya run out of things to watch between the quarantine exercise sessions.

----------


## Stumpy

> I'm just just sipping on my morning tea


Great.  I rode my bike to get my Iced Cappuccino today and then came back and surveyed the pool.  Going to vacuum it shortly.  One thing I am finding is a descent amount of burned leaves pieces in the bottom.  I have a neighbor that due to the 12 to 13c nights and morning sits by a big pile of yard clippings burning them to stay warm.  Unfortunately some of that drifts my way.  No big deal.  I like vacuuming the pool. Good activity outside in the morning.  

What's on the Agenda for today?

----------


## Headworx

> morning root + 1 coffee done.


Yeah I started today with some crumpet too  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

> Morning Mendip. Another X in the countdown calendar.


He's not been going through the little uns advent calendar too? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> What's on the Agenda for today?


Funny you ask that JP... I've had a busy morning.

As I mentioned, at my 5 Day point yesterday I had an excursion downstairs for my PCR test. 

I thought I'd make an effort... and it was then I realised that I hadn't changed my underwear since I arrived last Friday. These quarantine would make an interesting social experiment. It's amazing how quickly the hygiene goes within such a short time. I'm normally quite fastidious.

Anyway, after hunting around for a clean pair of boxers I realised that I was down to my last... so first thing today I washed all my smalls in shampoo in the bathroom sink. That filled half an hour or so.

This was followed by 30 minutes of exercises... yes, you heard correctly... and then a few emails. I was planning on doing a load of tax stuff today but won't have time so that can wait until tomorrow.

Another thing I've been doing... I'm quite a keen twitcher and when I sit on the balcony the sound is alive with birdsong, so I've set my self a target of seeing 10 species before the quarantine is out. This is something I do with my daughter on holidays (we have a great time together!) and helps to pass the time when confined. I'm up to 5 species already and even heard a Greater Coucal calling this morning... I just saw it but didn't get a pic.

This is my view from the balcony... amazing how much wildlife is out there in the outskirts of Bangkok, just near Hua Mak train station. And incidentally, if anyone is considering going through this quarantine I would really strongly recommend getting a room with a balcony. This would be a real struggle for me without.



Oh... and I just got my Covid test result. Negative! I think this means I'm allowed out for an hour a day starting tomorrow. Another hurdle crossed.



It's really starting to feel that this commute, and thankfully this thread also, will eventually come to an end. 

The final leg... so near yet so far! Although I reckon walking it in 2 days would be going some... it's all uphill.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I thought I'd make an effort... and it was then I realised that I hadn't changed my underwear since I arrived last Friday.


 :Puke: 





> This is my view from the balcony... amazing how much wildlife is out there in the outskirts of Bangkok, just near Hua Mak train station. And incidentally, if anyone is considering going through this quarantine I would really strongly recommend getting a room with a balcony. This would be a real struggle for me without.


Totally! Very sound advice.

----------


## Mendip

> He's not been going through the little uns advent calendar too?


No... but her Werther's Original took a hit last night. Thankfully I can replace them at 7-Eleven.

I'm really hoping that I don't stoop low enough to nail her sour chewy sweets. She loves them and a lot of these will be hard to replace!



And while we're on the subject of food... there's too many posts to individually address and thank the posters, but can I just say how grateful I am to all those posting pics of their delicious food to keep my spirits up. If ever any of you guys have to go through quarantine I really hope to return the favour. I think KW, HW, Edmond, Dill, Joe 90 and BB deserve special thanks (sorry if I missed anyone).

PAG... thanks for the tip on tea bags. I cam with a small bag of PG Tips that I found in the office in Gothenburg and am now using each one twice. I think it's probably too late to get any sent to the ASQ so will probably have to go on to Lipton's for my last few days. Yes... things are getting bad.

And Nid... everything is easy with hindsight. Yeah, I wish I'd stashed bottle in my hold luggage now... but had I been scanned at customs I'd have been looking at a 30,000 Baht fine for exceeding the allowance, and having that bottle and my duty free confiscated.

----------


## Saint Willy

> And while we're on the subject of food... there's too many posts to individually address and thank the posters, but can I just say how grateful I am to all those posting pics of their delicious food to keep my spirits up. If ever any of you guys have to go through quarantine I really hope to return the favour. I think KW, HW, Edmond, Dill, Joe 90 and BB deserve special thanks (sorry if I missed anyone).


It's cos we love you, Mendip!




> This was followed by 30 minutes of exercises... yes, you heard correctly...


 :goldcup:  the first step is starting it. great job! 





> I was planning on doing a load of tax stuff today but won't have time so that can wait until tomorrow.


Man in quarantine with nothing to do, is too busy?

----------


## Mendip

And on the exercise front... never did I think that posting a pic of a home gym would set of so much discussion.

I have now had two different apps suggest that I may be 'obese' and I have to start accepting this may be true.

I guess basically I need less calories to go in and to get more active. I think that cutting out the evening Leos will be the biggest single change to make in terms of results.

Last night I sat on my balcony with the pigeon and just had a cup of tea. It felt weird, but it is possible. I'll be trying it again tonight.

It reminds me of when I stopped smoking nearly 18 years ago... I couldn't go near a bar for the first few months as it felt so weird to sit at a bar with a pint but no cigarette. But that was possible as well... I just need to get my head around this.

I think that my time at home is very different to some others on here... my daughter's school is 20km from home... with Korat city centre between. This can mean easily 45 minutes each way... twice a day... so up to 3 hours a day stuck in traffic. I won't be cycling with my daughter through Korat rush hours  :Smile: , mainly in the interest of just staying alive. Also we'd have to leave home at 4am. 

But in case that sounds like an 'excuse' it isn't... I'll just fit things around my busy daily schedule. This I can do. I'm always active and in the garden doing jobs but that doesn't compensate for some good aerobic exercise and I'm on to that. I'll fir it in every day.

And bollox to it... I'm getting the gym as well!

----------


## Dillinger

> I'm really hoping that I don't stoop low enough to nail her sour chewy sweets. She loves them and a lot of these will be hard to replace!


A 3 hour detour around Pattaya's Siamburis, Corner shop and Siam Expat will put that right. Probably have Easter eggs in now too and peas are a given. Top up on the best steak and kidney pies at Tinnies too, if its still open.

Enough talk of food, not long now mate. Keep your chins up.

----------


## Edmond

> I think that my time at home is very different to some others on here... my daughter's school is 20km from home... with Korat city centre between. This can mean easily 45 minutes each way... twice a day... so up to 3 hours a day stuck in traffic. I won't be cycling with my daughter through Korat rush hours , mainly in the interest of just staying alive. Also we'd have to leave home at 4am.


2 easy enough options for getting active. 

Either find a park or a gym with aircon and threadmills in Khorat city, and go there for an hour of activity every morning straight after dropping yer kid off while on the way back home.

----------


## Dillinger

^ Show us your muscles then Eddie :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Me youngest loves pickles and steak sandwiches

----------


## Dillinger

I've been trying to get a weightbench and weights.

Sold out everywhere here due to Covid.

Those cable things are shite Mendip, you are better off  and will see much better gains with free weights.

Also due to covid here, a decent bike is around 1000 pounds and a Cockapoo will set you back around 3,000. Apparently it was cheaper to fly to Germany and buy one, when that was allowed
When people statt holidaying again, theres gonna be a load of abandoned dogs I reckon and broken in homes and stolen bikes

Wonder if Chitty's doing Benidorm this year :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Wonder if Chitty's doing Benidorm this year


Staycation again this year, Thailand is on the back burner.

Motorhome is the way forward this year. :Smile: 

I had to end of to Germany for a new pair of bicycle tyres such is the demand for cycle stuff here.

My mate shelled out £2.5k for a border Collie pup.
They were £500 a couple of years ago.

Luckily I have free weights and a dog already. 

Got my boys into body building now because they were wasting away at home with no exercise. 
They are making terrific gains now  even got them on the whey protein. 

Had Mexican for dinner last night Mendip, very nice it was.

----------


## Neverna

:mid:

----------


## Edmond

> Show us your super sexy slim n trim physique then Eddie


surtinly sir




Ah shure it be glorious. Praise be to Jesus lord and saviour.

----------


## Joe 90

A lean, mean cycling machine  :Smile: 

Is that a dodgy tattoo on your calf or oil of your chain?

----------


## Edmond

> Is that a dodgy tattoo on your calf or oil of your chain?


That would be the latter, sir.

----------


## Edmond

Rode 45km in just under 2hrs this morning, now wrapping up an upperbody home gym sesh. Shure, might have a few cold ones after kicking the ball around the park area this evening.



Be Ed.

Don't be Dill.

----------


## Dillinger

I'm sure I saw thst photo last year somewhere :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> I'm sure I saw thst photo last year and saved it to my database of stalking


ftfy  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> I'm sure I saw thst photo last year somewhere


That photo is good ole Luigi.  Nothing Edmond about it.  :rofl:

----------


## armstrong

> morning root + 1 coffee done.
> 1 more coffee with scrambled eggs and bacon. 2 hour bike ride at 9am.
> Coconut oil chicken breast and veg for lunch.
> Home gym.  Triceps, delts, pecs, abs.
> Kidney bean and chicken masala for dinner
> Walk and bit of football in the park in the evening.
> 
> 
> Damn nice routine. 
> ...


No one plays football in a park in BKK.

----------


## Stumpy

^ Old Eddy has a tendency of exaggerating about a lot of stuff..... :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> I think that my time at home is very different to some others on here... my daughter's school is 20km from home... with Korat city centre between. This can mean easily 45 minutes each way... twice a day... so up to 3 hours a day stuck in traffic. I won't be cycling with my daughter through Korat rush hours , mainly in the interest of just staying alive. Also we'd have to leave home at 4am. 
> 
> But in case that sounds like an 'excuse' it isn't... I'll just fit things around my busy daily schedule. This I can do. I'm always active and in the garden doing jobs but that doesn't compensate for some good aerobic exercise and I'm on to that. I'll fir it in every day.
> 
> And bollox to it... I'm getting the gym as well!


Mendip
Just to cheer you up a bit I have some news. I had to go to Korat this morning to have my tri-annual medical check up and after I finished that out at SUTH I went into the city centre to go to Siam Pharmacy to get my drugs.

And guess what the traffic was the absolute quietest I have ever seen in Korat.

So your trip to school will now probably only take half the time it did so will be able to use all that extra time to shed some kgs.

As for cutting out the alcohol I actually found that harder to do that stopping smoking but once I did I have not started again whereas with smoking I stopped and started 3 times.  So far 38 years no alcohol and 15 years no ciggies but still a fat fukker.
Mind you when I did drink I was not obese but morbidly obese with a BMI of 37+

In the end as someone here said yesterday the gym won't do the work you have to.

So be like Nike and "Just do it"!!!!

----------


## David48atTD

> Enough talk of food, not long now mate. Keep your chins up.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Edmond

> No one plays football in a park in BKK.


Private village with park area. Far, far away from Bkk. Particularly useful if looking to break an ankle on some tree roots or half buried rocks.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> So far 38 years no alcohol and 15 years no ciggies but still a fat fukker.


Shiiit ootai. I'd go back to drinking and enjoy a good cigar. Why punish yourself....?  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Thanks Ootai, I'm on to it.

One thing I have to say... and I just know that this will sound like an excuse... but WTF do guys with young kids find the time to go to a gym?

Forget the time spent stuck in Korat traffic to get there... and even just from my daughter's school to Save One Nev will take at least 20 minutes in morning rush hour...

My routine... up at six, leave the house at 6:40am with my coffee to drink in the car. I usually get back around 8am (depending on traffic... and I guess it is quieter now because the government schools are shut) to five howling dogs desperate for their walk, and then when I get back I clean out the chickens. I try and do all this before it gets unbearably hot.

Maybe about 9:30am is the first time I can sit down and think of all the jobs in the garden I need to get done while i have a bite to eat... before finishing up around 2pm to grab some lunch and a shower in order to do battle with Korat traffic again to pick up the daughter around 4pm. We feed a bunch of street dogs on the way home and I finally sit down about 5:30pm... when as you know there isn't a lot of daylight left. This was when I USED to think about a bottle of Leo.

I know I need to make time, but it will have to be in the evening. I just don't get spare time in the day, and it's way too hot in Korat for long walks in the heat of the day anyway.

If we lived on the coast or in the mountains then I'd walk all day... but Korat is as hot as hell and to get anywhere usually means a tortuous journey in gridlocked traffic.

I'm gonna do it... because one more joke about my chins and I'll start getting pissed off... but it has to be doable. I may even have to resort to a treadmill/swim routine.

----------


## aging one

> I'm gonna do it... because one more joke about my chins and I'll start getting pissed off... but it has to be doable. I may even have to resort to a treadmill/swim routine.


That is the key, you have to want to do it. The only way I was able to change. Sadly I knew Joe/Chitty would not be able to stop drinking. Did not really want to.

----------


## cyrille

^^You do four and a half hours worth of 'jobs in the garden' every weekday? 

Good job you've got a gardener.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Edmond

> one more joke about my chins and I'll start getting pissed off







> 9:30-11:00am shave my chins


Sorry.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ I would say easily... and if not I certainly could. 

The gardener maintains but for any developments I get involved. Unfortunately we built the house in 2007 and it's now gradually falling apart.

I take the weekends off... it's not pure purgatory.

One thing that does piss me off about the tropics is the dark evenings... it's finally cool enough to do something but then it gets dark.


^ And FFS...  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> ^^You do four and a half hours worth of 'jobs in the garden' every weekday? 
> 
> Good job you've got a gardener.


The gardener apparently watches Mendy.... :sorry2:

----------


## Stumpy

> That is the key, you have to want to do it


And I do AO...Man I love a good whiskey.... :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

^^ Can you imagine how busy I'd be without the gardener.

He has very varied duties and covers a lot of my roles when I'm away.

But no... not that one obviously (before the inevitable comment gets made...)

----------


## Headworx

> I'm gonna do it... because one more joke about my chins and I'll start getting pissed off... but it has to be double.


Good on 'ya Mendip, the TD support group will have your back on this with words of encouragement.

----------


## Mendip

^ Very subtle indeed HW.

FFS...  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> the TD support group


To be honest I'd be a bit worried about future work possibilities due to Covid, Brexit etc.




Though, he could always pick up some cards and become a four-chin teller.  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> ^^^ Thanks Ootai, I'm on to it.
> 
> My routine... up at six, leave the house at 6:40am with my coffee to drink in the car. I usually get back around 8am (depending on traffic... and I guess it is quieter now because the government schools are shut) to five howling dogs desperate for their walk, and then when I get back I clean out the chickens. I try and do all this before it gets unbearably hot.
> 
> Maybe about 9:30am is the first time I can sit down and think of all the jobs in the garden I need to get done while i have a bite to eat... before finishing up around 2pm to grab some lunch and a shower in order to do battle with Korat traffic again to pick up the daughter around 4pm. We feed a bunch of street dogs on the way home and I finally sit down about 5:30pm... when as you know there isn't a lot of daylight left. This was when I USED to think about a bottle of Leo.
> 
> I know I need to make time.  gridlocked traffic.
> 
> I'm gonna do it... because one more joke about my chins and I'll start getting pissed off... but it has to be doable. I may even have to resort to a treadmill/swim routine.



OK first thing you need to do is be brutally honest about where you use your time during the day. I would suggest you get someone like JPPR2 to do a time and motion study as that would be right up his alley. 

My suggestions are:
1. Get up at 5am and walk for an hour on a treadmill at a pace that makes you get all hot and sweaty.
2. Rearrange your chicken coop so that it doesn't need to be cleaned EVERY day.
3. Still walk your dogs but move faster cover more ground and sweat a lot.
4. Don't sit down and think about what you are going to do in the garden when you get home do it while you are "stuck" in the traffic.
5. Don't think about having a Leo think about getting in the pool at 5:30 and swim for half an hour.

Finally when you are "working" in your garden you should be hard at it not dithering about. When I'm out there the folks here reckon I am creating my own little rain storm there's that much water dripping off me. So you need to toughen up a bit re the heat and get on with "Just doing it".

Sorry but sometimes people need a little bit of hard love to get them moving.

----------


## Shutree

> Disclaimer- Theres about a 50 year stint in jail in Tingtongland for distilling your own booze


Yet I chanced to see an electric still for sale on Lazada. Which seemed like fun, not including time in chokey.

----------


## Shutree

> A glass of  vermouth on the balcony. 
> 
> 
> 
> Attachment 63558



Vermouth without gin in it. I didn't even know such a thing was possible.

Anyway, for Mendip, I had my own gin-free night last night, in sympathy. I am even considering a second night of abstinence tonight. I am always full of good intentions up until about 5 pm. We shall see.

----------


## Shutree

> Do let us know how it goes


Ordered the bike trainer, they say it will arrive after 5 or 6 days.

----------


## Joe 90

> That is the key, you have to want to do it. The only way I was able to change. Sadly I knew Joe/Chitty would not be able to stop drinking. Did not really want to.


I had a night of abstinence in solidarity with Mendip last night.
Slept like shit though.

Gonna do the same tonight!

We'll give up the booze together Mendip :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Vermouth without gin in it. I didn't even know such a thing was possible.
> 
> .


Vermouth Drinks, Here's A Few of Our Favorites | Men's Journal

----------


## Neverna

> Forget the time spent stuck in Korat traffic to get there... and even just from my daughter's school to Save One Nev will take at least 20 minutes in morning rush hour...


20 minutes out of 6 or 7 free hours is doable, Mendip. But if you need an excuse not to do something, then spending an extra 20 minutes out of your day to get somewhere seems like a mighty fine excuse. Stay in the obese club if you want. You have plenty of company on TD. All for now, chubby.   :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> 20 minutes out of 6 or 7 free hours is doable, Mendip. But if you need an excuse not to do something, then spending an extra 20 minutes out of your day to get somewhere seems like a mighty fine excuse. Stay in the obese club if you want. You have plenty of company on TD. All for now, chubby.



Here I was thinking I was being harsh, I'm a bloody amateur compared to this cutting shot.

----------


## Mendip

^^ You can call it an excuse, and of course it's doable but I have a huge reluctance to spend yet another 20 minutes after the first 45, stuck in traffic to go to a gym (which I despise) when I have a lot to do in the mornings!  :Smile:  As I mentioned, I have a lot to do in the mornings before it gets too hot. Getting back at 9:30 instead of 8:00 isn't an option.

And here was me thinking that a good start to lose weight would be replace my evening Leo time with a half hour on my cross-trainer, a half kilometre swim and some gym work in the evenings. And actually enjoy doing it with me daughter and make it fun for her. This is as much for her as me.

I didn't realise I had to live the rest of my life as though in a boot camp... what fun this will be after returning home from six months of continuous 11 to 12 hour shifts. But maybe I should get up at 4am to sort out any emails before I do an hour on the treadmill at 5am. I'll get me daughter to blow a whistle once she's sitting in the back of the car ready for school so as not to waste any time talking to her beforehand. I can drive a lot faster as well to be honest, may have a few accidents but it'll shave a few minutes off the journey, and instead of sitting down when I get home I can eat breakfast while I'm driving as well... that'll be more efficient.

I can do power dogs walks once I get home... not easy with five on leads and none of us will enjoy it but I'll get a good sweat up, especially with Dan balanced on me shoulders because at 14 she's too old to walk fast in the heat.

My first job when I get home is to sort out the guttering around our two story house, but instead of dithering I'll run up that ladder and slide down just using my hands to save time.

Or I could try and enjoy my life, not spend every day running around the garden like a blue-arsed fly and working like a b@stard, but enjoy my time and my projects and cut out the evening drinking to do an hour and a half's exercise in the evenings instead?

I'll have a think about it!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I just had a message from a good mate of mine in Norway who is returning to Thailand in the next few days from Stavanger, via Oslo and Copenhagen, with SAS I guess.

He has had it all well planned... Covid test tomorrow within 72 hours of his first flight departure, the SVG-OSL leg. I think he has the tests booked two days before departure as most places guarantee no better than a 48 hour turnaround of the PCR test.

He has just had a message that Denmark now demand a negative PCR test certificate taken within 24 hours of departure, for the transit through CPH. I think it may even be 24 hours from the last port of call, ie Oslo, not the departure of the first flight. This has thrown his entire trip into jeopardy... few test centres guarantee a 24 hour turnaround for a PCR test, and depending what time your flight is this will be virtually impossible to achieve.

And this after he's gone through the CoE process, booked his ASQ etc etc... 

I'm glad I flew when I did... I think things are going to get a whole lot harder for travel in Europe.

----------


## Edmond

> Here I was thinking I was being harsh


Mendip and Dillinger stood gut to gut and were still social distancing.  :Smile: 


Mendip and Dillinger sat on the same side of a 747 and it ended up back where it started.  :Smile: 




Okay, I'll be good. Sorry Mendy  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

^^^
Can we please have the old Mendy back the one with a sense of humour?
Mate you should get out a bit more often and stop hibernating its turning you into a grumpy old bear (see I didn't say a fat bear).
Maybe a beer or 2 might help as well?

Let us know what happens with your friend. As I said a while ago I couldn't travel these days too much stress caused by having to reply on others being on time within an extremely tight schedule. Will he be able to get a refund on any of it if he can't travel?

----------


## Edmond

> Can we please have the old Mendy back the one with a sense of humour?


To be fair, he hasn't had his leg over in eight and a half cyrilles.  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

Nah, fair play to mendip.  After being away for months, it must be as frustrating as fuck to be so near to home, but still so far.  Plus two weeks dry niw.  I would be exceedingly grumpy.  More hoops to jump through.

----------


## nidhogg

> To be fair, he hasn't had his leg over in eight and a half cyrilles.


I am just hoping he has a decent VPN on his computer.  Man. There will be some porn streaming through that laptop.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Only two days dry so far Nid... 

I'm ok again now.  :Smile: 

But I'm not fat... just a little bit 'obese'...

For now.

----------


## cyrille

Blimey, there I was thinking you now had sfa to do for the rest of the year, Mendy. 

How wrong I was.  :Very Happy: 





> To be fair, he hasn't had his leg over in eight and a half cyrilles.




Gosh, yet another thigh slapper from TD's simply never dull poster.

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

eight and a half cyrilles

a ha ha ha ha ha.

ha.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Mate you should get out a bit more often and stop hibernating its turning you into a grumpy old bear (see I didn't say a fat bear).
> Maybe a beer or 2 might help as well?



harsh, so very harsh! You do know he’s stuck in quarantine?

----------


## cyrille

He can't even have an...edmond!

 :smiley laughing: 

Have an edmond!

 :smiley laughing: 

Geddit?!

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Edmond

Meltdown alert.  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

Well done lads you've broken Mendip.

----------


## HuangLao

> Well done lads you've broken Mendip.



Nah. Not likely. 
Mendy's a strong and connected lad. 

Better possibility that the brokenship falls to others. 
TD trademarks. 


 :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

We're not fat Mendy,we are big boned.

Get your laughing gear around this...

----------


## Edmond

> Well done lads you've broken Mendip.


Just a few friendly tickles. 


Mendy's made of harder stuff than Syb n' Dill.  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

^ said the 25 time TD flounce champion :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

No drink tonight will pass my lips Mendip.

Together we stand or rather slouch watching boxsets.

Hope you enjoyed the Departed.

----------


## Saint Willy

Bailey’s salty caramel is the bomb!

----------


## Stumpy

Sawasdee Wan Suk Mendip or shall we say Happy Friday. 

Rollin along.  

Cheers

----------


## Stumpy

Well. I just got off a vid call with my oldest daughter and she and her BF announced they are getting married.  They plan on the event in Oct this year in Northern California.  I may be doing this Bento Box 14 day quarantine if nothing improves.  A few notes to myself;

1) Lots of underwear 
2) 4 bottles of Bourbon
3) My drone so I can fly it down to pick up supplies

 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Edmond

> my oldest daughter and she and her BF announced they are getting married.


Congrats.

----------


## ootai

Originally Posted by *JPPR2* 
_my oldest daughter and she and her BF announced they are getting married.

_I am not sure whether it should be congratulations or commiserations.
Great that you are getting a son in law or daughter in law (you didn't say which)  addition to the family which could be a precursor to getting some grandkids.
Commiserations as you will have to go through what Mendip is right now and boy will we give you shit if you show the slightest signs of weakening while in quarantine.

----------


## Stumpy

Thanks, I do not want to Hijack Mendy's thread but I am now taking notes.  :smiley laughing: 

@ ootai,
My Daughter is getting married. Let see what happens as the time heads towards October. We agreed that if it is the same or worse they will either postpone it or a do a private small one then hopefully after Covid (If such a thing even exists) they will plan a more formal larger one.

Strange times...

----------


## PAG

Mendid went for a Covid test the other day.   The Nurse asked "Have you experienced a sudden loss of taste?"

"No" he said, "I've always dressed like this."

----------


## Saint Willy

> Commiserations as you will have to go through what Mendip is right now and boy will we give you shit if you show the slightest signs of weakening while in quarantine.


 ::doglol::

----------


## Mendip

> Well. I just got off a vid call with my oldest daughter and she and her BF announced they are getting married.  They plan on the event in Oct this year in Northern California.  I may be doing this Bento Box 14 day quarantine if nothing improves.  A few notes to myself;
> 
> 1) Lots of underwear 
> 2) 4 bottles of Bourbon
> 3) My drone so I can fly it down to pick up supplies



Good morning JP... congrats on your daughter!

Today is Day 7, my half way point. I believe that with my negative Covid test result yesterday I'm allowed out for an hour but I've a lot on so that can wait until tomorrow. I also think I have to book up the hour of freedom a day in advance, so will have to check this all out.

I would say that there's little point in bringing lots of underwear as unless you bring along 15 pairs (one for the trip home) you will still have to do some laundry, and who carries around that many clothes? Bring along a small bottle of clothes detergent instead, although in saying that shampoo or liquid soap seems to serve just as well. A balcony to dry the underwear goes without saying of course.

Four bottles would be perfect. Enough that you're not constantly worried about running out but not to much that you will overindulge. Are you talking 1 litre duty free bottles of 750cl normal) If the latter maybe five would be a good idea. And I'd swap bourbon for Scotch, but I guess that's a personal choice.

A drone is no use unless you have someone on the outside to load it up... but if you have 5 bottles of whisky with you then the problem has gone anyway.

If I had my time again I'd bring more teabags, some biscuits, cheese, crackers, some cold cuts, a salt and a pepper pot, sachets of tomato ketchup, sachets of butter and a decent loaf of bread. This is all stuff that will travel and stay chilled in your luggage in the hold, and you could freeze some of it on arrival. My ASQ has a nice fridge/freezer but no cooking facilities apart from a kettle. There is a stove top but all utensils have been removed, there's not even a microwave and I think that's standard rules with ASQ. 

I had a bun (or muffin!) with my tea last night and some hot custard would have gone great, but I'm not drinking it cold from the tin... I'm not that desperate yet and I think my daughter will be safe with that. I can't see her SPAM surviving though.

After trial and error this is now my standard breakfast... the 'American Breakfast' choice. After a week I'm tiring of fried and boiled rice.

That thing at the front right is a cold pancake.



Oh, one thing I got right is bringing a jar of Nescafe, although most coffee purists tend to travel with their own fancy miniature brewing machines and fresh coffee these days.

And I rarely travel these days without a decent coffee mug in my luggage... I can't abide these little coffee cups they give you in hotels.

This is the mug I picked up at Gothenburg duty free. For many years now I've collected a woman from every country I work in, though sadly not real women. This started when I worked regularly in West Africa and Brazil... with all the interesting wooden carvings and pottery they have, and we have three shelves full of this stuff at home. Now that I'm working more in Europe I seem to have become a doll collector, but anyway... this is Miss Sweden!

----------


## hallelujah

^ This post should be pinned for future inmates. 

The Official Mendip (and pigeon) Guide to Isolation: The Essentials.

----------


## Mendip

> Mendid went for a Covid test the other day.   The Nurse asked "Have you experienced a sudden loss of taste?"
> 
> "No" he said, "I've always dressed like this."


Ha ha PAG... good one!

See, it's not difficult... a nice good natured joke with no nastiness.

Miss Nurse also asked me if that was an old Motorola phone I had in my pocket... but no, I was just very pleased to see her!  :Smile: 

And anyway, there's no problem with my dress sense... I'm trying to decide which shirt I'll wear on my release day.




The reason I got a bit pissy last night is this...

I've spent many years just 'carrying a few extra pounds', then as soon as I enter some numbers into this fancy app I'm suddenly obese. No-one likes that word... it has all sorts or connotations.

The app also reckons my ideal weight would be between 63 and 85 kg. I'm 185cm (6ft) tall, I'm big build, I have broad shoulders... I used to play second row in rugby. At work I wear size 50 or 52 overalls because of my shoulders and chest, not any supposed gut. I don't like to boast, but I'm pretty muscular. Some people are wiry and short, some are tall and muscular. That's life. If I was 63 kg I'd be basically a walking corpse. I appreciate I should lose maybe 15 or 20 kg and will take the necessary measures... but 63 kg... that's absurd.

There... end of. I hope.

----------


## Headworx

^I mentioned this before, those apps and ideal weight are fucken bullshit. Your pics show you're a large framed heavy set guy, they're working on people built like marathon runners. Ignore totally.

----------


## PAG

^^

I'm not seeing the sock selection there......

Don't forget the personal grooming before you get out.   One should always look ones best.

----------


## Dillinger

> I would say that there's little point in bringing lots of underwear as unless you bring along 15 pairs (one for the trip home) you will still have to do some laundry, and who carries around that many clothes?


How big has your arse become ?

 You can buy box sets of what us slimmer fellas call 'briefs' :Smile: 



There's 14 in there, although you can get 4 days out of one pair if you do the old back to front and inside out trick :Smile: 

At 7 days you should be getting proper plates and knifes and forks from the hotel now.

----------


## Mendip

This 7 days seems to be quite a milestone. I've just been sent out on to the balcony while my room is being made up for for the first time. My sheets are a right state as I've been wearing foot cream in bed!

I've always had a proper plate, bowl, spoon and fork but just haven't been bothered to transfer my meals from the plastic boxes... save on washing up.

And my arse is normal size. I only ever put weight on my gut and face. No-where else. I can still get into 34 inch waist jeans at a pinch.

And I'll pass on those 'briefs', thanks all the same.

----------


## Dillinger



----------


## Shutree

I'm allowed out for an hour but I've a lot on...

Yea, right.

As promised I held on for a second consecutive dry night to demonstrate solidarity. It can be done, one day at a time.

This being Friday I have no plans to go for 3 in a row. I'll pass the baton to Edmond. If you have one non-drinking virtual buddy each day you'll need only seven to make it to the end.

----------


## Dillinger

:Smile:

----------


## Edmond

If actually serious about losing your kilos of fat, watch 'That Sugar Movie', I think it's on Netflix. A pretty big eye opener to the amount of sugar in everyday processed crap, and it's effect on the body.

iirc, 4g = 1 teaspoon of sugar.

Look at the back of the drinks in the 7. 

Those little cans of Birdie coffee etc, 4 or 5 teaspoons of sugar in 'em. Those 12 baht cartons of Oishi lemon tea etc, 4 teaspoons of sugar in them. If making a small cup of lemon tea or coffee at home, would one put 4 or 5 spoons of sugar in it? It's an interesting watch if looking to shift the lard and have a healthier lifestyle.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Many thanks for your support Shutree!

Yeah, two days dry now. It's easy.

Joe 90 seems to have gone dry to support me as well, though lets see how supportive he is over the weekend!

I imagine it will be Dill's turn tonight.


By the way Joe, The Departed doesn't seem to be on Netflix... I watched 'Road to Perdition' last night which was a bit slow.

----------


## Mendip

Ummm... I thought we'd put an end to this talk about weight!  :Smile: 


Edmond, I could count on one hand the tins of coke I have in a year, or anything else like that. I do drink those tins of Birdie coffee on the bus, so maybe 12 or so a year.

I haven't taken sugar in tea or coffee for years.

My drink of choice in the daytime at home is soda water with a fresh like squeezed in.

My diet could do with tweaking I'm sure, smaller portions for one, but my main calorie delivery is beer. I'm pretty convinced that cutting out the habitual beer will make the biggest difference to me. Sadly I think that cider has even more calories... so that'll have to go as well.

I've already told my daughter we'll only have a pudding on weekends. She likes a hot doughnut with ice cream on, so I get caught up in that sometimes.

But I'll watch this sugar  movies for sure... I know it can be surprising where this sugar is hiding.

----------


## Dillinger

:Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Best of luck. :-)


Though there is a tinge of Phuket Bound to it all.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> but my main calorie delivery is beer. I'm pretty convinced that cutting out the habitual beer will make the biggest difference to me.


Truth.

----------


## ootai

> Ha ha PAG... good one!
> 
> See, it's not difficult... a nice good natured joke with no nastiness.
> 
> And anyway, there's no problem with my dress sense... I'm trying to decide which shirt I'll wear on my release day.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There... end of. I hope.


First off if it ain't nasty it ain't a very funny joke.
As for it ending I doubt it.

Now for the choice of shirt on escape, I am waiting for Neverna to enter and say which ever one fits you F++ty.

As for "carrying weight" that ain't the problem, the problem is as we age it hangs off a lot of us more and more and won't go away.
If you want some sort of incentive then try carrying one of those 20L bottles of water in front of you for 50m and then put it down and you will know what losing 20kgs feels like and that is "amazing".

What I found was that my mean problem is portion sizes and after I retired 4 years ago and my missus started controlling that aspect I actually lost weight doing nothing else.
I have gone form 110kgs (obese) to 93kg (fat kunt). I reckon it would be fantastic to get to 85kgs but I am afraid i am too lazy for that.

----------


## Saint Willy

Jaysus, who needs enemies when you have friends like this, Mendip?

there's a reason I aint mentioned my height and weight on here.

----------


## Joe 90

> I'm not seeing the sock selection there


Mendips pair of socks is holyier than the Virgin Mary.

I feel your pain going dry mate, it's not easy but good to get some natural sleep.
The appetite returns with a vengeance though, fvck I trying to decide what to have for breakfast at 5.30am.

A bacon baguette or a Wigan kebab, trouble is the bakery does not open till 8am.

----------


## Stumpy

In post 2106 from KW.  It's true on the beer and calories but it's the amount you drink, when you drink them and what you do after.  Drinking 6 Leo's a day from 6pm until 10 or so then going to bed will pour on weight. Having a few in early afternoon then doing so work or walking is probably a wash. I am a habitual drinker but do have self control in that I only have a few Drinks in the afternoon then stay busy.  Of course we can argue Alcohol is bad for you but let's be honest, most everything we drink or eat is bad for you.  A doctor once told my Dad when I was with him at the hospital. "If it tastes good, it's probably bad for you".

----------


## Joe 90

> The Departed doesn't seem to be on Netflix


Can someone post up a free stream or link for the movie, cheers

----------


## PAG

> Can someone post up a free stream or link for the movie, cheers


The Departed (2006) YIFY - Download Movie TORRENT - YTS

----------


## Dillinger

^ i doubt that'll download on his monitored hotel wifi

----------


## Stumpy

Probably so Dil. I know most have credentials looking for torrent and other "Illegal" internet activities.

----------


## Stumpy

How is the Day Mendip. Sun is setting. Soon another day will be in the books. 

I am looking at my liquor cabinet and thinking...Hmmm. What shall I have in Mendip's name tonight.  Here..Here...My lime trees have some good big ones now, Maybe a few Margaritas to go with my salad....I am dieting you know... :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Close enough to 5:00...

----------


## Stumpy

^
That's my thought to KW



New bottle of Tequila tonight in Mendy's name



Had a little shot Neat before just to taste. Not a heavy Anejo, more like a good Reposado but man can you taste the agave.

----------


## Joe 90

I couldn't make my mind up.

So I had both, fresh from the bakery.



Last nights Speg boll wasn't to shabby either..

----------


## Joe 90

Roast Dinner and a pint at the Robin Hood?

Teakdoors DJ Pat has it all covered here..




Something to look forward to.

----------


## cyrille

There was a rapid nosedive from 'the good life' somewhere there.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Dillinger

I heard you can use the pool  from  day 11 onwards, Mendy. You have got one there, right? :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> I heard you can use the pool  from  day 11 onwards, Mendy. You have got one there, right?


He does Dil but his gardener can't come to check the upkeep...Sorry Mendy.   :smiley laughing:

----------


## Edmond

I lost track of the days during the excitement of annoying people, the last day or 3.



How many days to go now?

Are you able to get out for an hour a day?

Is there a scalable wall in the garden area?

----------


## Mendip

Well cheers everyone!

Strangely tequila is about the only alcoholic drink I won't touch, so I don't envy you guys that. Joe's bacon sarnie would have gone down well though.

I had a major result tonight and remembered a tin of BritviC that I'd saved from my KLM 'bag of shite' on the flight.

Would have preferred a whisky but there you go.



Other than that I think I can sum this up as being a pretty shit day.

I woke up with a shit headache, it's been shit food again (after being good yesterday), I can't download that movie (but thanks Joe and PAG) and I've got some shit going on in Perth which meant a day on emails and the phone, but it did make the day pass quickly.

And on top of that, the cleaners came for the first time today and sent me out on to the balcony to maintain distancing while they worked. I only realised an hour after they'd left that they bladdy threw out my little plastic bag of tea bags. I must have had around 4 good PG Tips plus a couple of broken ones that I'd been rationing. It wasn't their fault... just looked like rubbish I guess... but now I'm drinking shit tea as well. It's strange how little things like that take on inflated importance at times like this.

They do have a pool here but I'm not sure if I can use it. I know that after Day 7, with a negative PCR test result, I'm now allowed to sit in isolation in the garden for an hour, but you have to book up a slot the day before and I forgot. But to be honest with a balcony I'm not too bothered. At least if I stay in the room I can just wear my manky boxers and not worry about appearances.

Half way Edmond, 7 days gone and 7 days to go. I think I get released next Saturday morning.

Which brings me to another issue... not sure yet as these rules are changing all the time, but I may have to home-isolate for 14 days in Korat since I'll be travelling from a red zone (Bangkok) to an orange zone (Korat).  That in itself is no problem, but my daughter would also have to be taken out of school for the 14 day period and do home schooling. 

It really never ends.

----------


## Headworx

^Have you named that Pidgeon yet? Just trying to guage your true sanity at this point..

----------


## hallelujah

^^Now the cleaners have started doing the odd day, why not liven up the experience with a danger wank?

When you hear them coming down the corridor, flop it out and get going. The aim, of course, is to spunk your load before they walk in and catch you, ahem, red-handed, so to speak.

You can also extend the danger wank for the nurse's appearance and in other situations like when the gardener's coming up the drive etc.

And it's a bit of exercise too, so you can kill two birds with one stone!

----------


## Stumpy

Cheers Mendy,
I can appreciate the not liking Tequila but folks that say that usually drank rot gut and puked so they are done...

Hope all in Perth is a quick fix. Today I was saddled with a lot of con calls between the US, Thailand, Germany and Japan. My daughter getting married adds a new twist.

I did manage about 2 hrs with my uncle here as we are on a new project around the pool area. My whack a mole Labrador caused me some serious grief and my wife had to intervene before I killed her and tossed her in the local river as fish food. Still might happen tomorrow before she wakes up.... :smiley laughing: .

----------


## Mendip

^^^ No, no name yet but I have been thinking about it.

Although I've been calling her a pigeon she is in facta zebra dove (Geopelia striata) and it's really strange. Whenever I go to sit out on the balcony she just turns up and sits and looks at me. 

Sometimes she makes this noise that's like a cross between a coo and a purr.

In fact I'm just assuming she is a 'she', because I accept it would be a bit weird to bond with a male zebra dove.

----------


## Mendip

> ^^Now the cleaners have started doing the odd day, why not liven up the experience with a danger wank?


That's a new one on me Hal, sounds good.

The cleaners come back on Day 10... I'll try and save meself until then!  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

Always happy to help.

Just try not to get arrested though.  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

^ He's played that stealth wank game before... and lost :Smile: 




Fish Friday... mmmmm :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

That fish Friday pic is cruel.




> Is there a scalable wall in the garden area?


He's been watching Colditz on YouTube  amd is busy organising a glider out of his hotel room fixtures and fittings.

Beats tunneling out I suppose. 

Then again he could always do an Airey Neave and dress up as a women then simply shake his booty past the guards to freedom,  I'm sure Loops wouldn't mind giving a few tips on how to walk in heels. TC could help him design an outfit from his colourful shirts and holy socks.

We shall be your TD escape committee and support group all rolled into one.

I had some baked beans in your honour today whilst doing some escape research and yes I'd rather be drinking beer also..


 :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Cheers Mendy,
> I can appreciate the not liking Tequila but folks that say that usually drank rot gut and puked so they are done...


Nah, it wasn't that mate.

I used to drink at this bar in Singapore on Muhammed Sultan Road... The Next Page I think it was called.

On a Friday and Saturday night they had this tequila girl working there. She used to wear a skimpy cowboy outfit and had like this ammo belt over her shoulders that was full of shot glasses, and she carried a tray with a bottle of tequila, sliced limes and a salt shaker. When you got a tequila she used to rub a bit of lime on the back of your hand so that a good portion of salt would stick, then she'd give you the shot, squeeze the lime in your mouth and you finished up with the salt. I seem to remember she licked my hand sometimes to get the salt to stick (pre Covid of course!).

One night after a fair few licks I thought I was in with a shout and it didn't end well... complete memory loss and I nearly had a problem with the police at Newton Circus. 

Tequila has a really strange effect on me and it's one that I avoid.

----------


## Headworx

Titty tequila use to be very common in both the Philippines and Thailand bars. Lime on one nipple, salt on the other, you get the picture.

----------


## bsnub

> Well cheers everyone!


You are one hairy bastard you caveman.  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

My mate drunk tequila one time and it ended up costing him £97,200!

----------


## Mendip

None of this talk is really helping my Friday night quarantine!  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Titty tequila use to be very common in both the Philippines and Thailand bars. Lime on one nipple, salt on the other, you get the picture.


I've done that in Angeles...I was only there for a cheap flight from Clark the next day, honest guv!

----------


## Saint Willy

Reverse seared a 1.5 kg tomahawk for dinner.

----------


## armstrong

> Titty tequila use to be very common in both the Philippines and Thailand bars. Lime on one nipple, salt on the other, you get the picture.


My dad got me one of them in Singapore once.

Not his tits, obviously.

----------


## lom

> Tequila has a really strange effect on me and it's one that I avoid.


The nightcap, it comes on unexpectedly.

----------


## Dillinger

^If it was decent Tequila, you wouldn't need salt and lime and it would taste quite smooth.

Whats that American place that moved from 22 to the corner at Ekamai? 

They sell nice tequila that doesn't rip your throat out

......Bourbon Street

----------


## Saint Willy

It was bigger than my chopping board

----------


## Joe 90

He had a one night stand that he couldn't remember.
Got a court summons through the post congratulating him on being a father with an appointment for a paternity test.
Silly fooker had £450 a month deducted from his wages for 18 years and has never met his child because of the mother.
Tequila is the one drink he won't look at ever again :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

Ya know Mendy. So I lived Southern California and went to college there.  Being close to the Mexico border a bunch of my Buds and I would jump on our sport bikes on Friday afternoon and ride until we got to Ensenada.  That was a town of nothing but bars and $10 a night hotels.   There was this Club we always drank until we passed out club.  At this saloon  there were hot Senoritas that had you sit in a barber chair.  They would tip the chair back and poor lonnnng shot of Mezcal, a squeeze of lime, ask you to hold it, then sit you up and shake you head to mix it up.  That's when I decided I liked Tequila...I woke up in many a strange place wondering how I got there and who is this chick next to me... :smiley laughing: 

Later I started researching Tequila and did many a tour in Jalisco to numerous distilleries.  Tequila,  like many spirits, have become extremely complex and taste really good.

----------


## Stumpy

> It was bigger than my chopping board


FFS KW..... I wanted to pull out one of my Fat sliced Strip Loin and do a Q after I saw that pic..  Man that looks DELISH.

Ohhh shit man.  Sorry Mendy. KW and I were talking BBQs and fat steaks.

----------


## bsnub

> ......Bourbon Street


Half past noon and you and shitty wang are both lathered up. 

 :smiley laughing: 




> Got a court summons through the post congratulating him on being a father with an appointment for a paternity test.


 :smiley laughing: 




> FFS KW..... I wanted to pull out one of my Fat  sliced Strip Loin and do a Q after I saw that pic.. Man that looks  DELISH


Ya he just went beast mode with that cut.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Ya he just went beast mode with that cut.


I have to confess, it was goooooood. And homemade fat cut chips with skin on. Shared it with family, which meant I also had to cook it medium rather than medium rare as is my preference. 4 of us ate most of it, but not all. Just sampled a little bit more out of the fridge. Almost as good. 

Burp...





> FFS KW..... I wanted to pull out one of my Fat sliced Strip Loin and do a Q after I saw that pic.. Man that looks DELISH.
> 
> Ohhh shit man. Sorry Mendy. KW and I were talking BBQs and fat steaks.



ooops, sorry Mendip. Got kinda carried away. 

Perhaps you will get steak tomorrow?

----------


## Dillinger

> Half past noon and you and shitty wang are both lathered up.


Nope. I'm taking a day off for Mendy... although I do love the taste of a crisp refreshing Stella when I enter the door and there's no better sound in the world than breaking the scab off an ice cold beer and that little outlet of evaporation and froth.

I can do this

----------


## Saint Willy

> Nope. I'm taking a day off for Mendy...


I'm going slow for Mendy, 

Still got a bottle left out of the six pack...

----------


## Dillinger

^ What goes well with Captain Morgan rum?

Asking for a friend

----------


## bsnub

> I can do this


That is how you defeat English footy fans.

They all pass out drunk after noon.

----------


## Stumpy

I felt it necessary to finish half that bottle while I floated in the pool.  Just showing my support.

----------


## Joe 90

> That is how you defeat English footy fans.
> 
> They all pass out drunk after noon.


Wrong thread Snubbles, you taken a DUI wrong turn?

Hop over to the Man Utd thread :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Wrong thread Snubbles, you taken a DUI wrong turn?



Sorry I do not live in a place where I need a car. I get lit, and after I am on the piss I get it all delivered.

----------


## hallelujah

> Sorry I do not live in a place where I need a car. I get lit, and after I am on the piss I get it all delivered.


Fair play, snubs. I'm on a similar time zone to you, but whenever I'm finishing my morning coffee and thinking about the working day ahead, you seem to be 3 sheets to the wind.  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Fair play, snubs. I'm on a similar time zone to you, but whenever I'm finishing my morning coffee and thinking about the working day ahead, you seem to be 3 sheets to the wind.


I have a shit schedule mate. I am up piss drunk sending off work emails with my good eye closed.  :Smile: 

But I am going to sleep now.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ What goes well with Captain Morgan rum?
> 
> Asking for a friend



coke or ginger ale.

----------


## Joe 90

Still on the wagon and still ravenous with hunger.

Mendip does this steak sandwich look well done to you?


Tasty very nice after my home gym workout. 

 :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Fair play, snubs. I'm on a similar time zone to you, but whenever I'm finishing my morning coffee and thinking about the working day ahead, you seem to be 3 sheets to the wind.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Still on the wagon and still ravenous with hunger.
> 
> Mendip does this steak sandwich look well done to you?
> 
> 
> Tasty very nice after my home gym workout.



looks darn tasty. Any cheese or onions in there?

----------


## Saint Willy



----------


## Joe 90

No cheese or onions,just lettuce and Nandos sauce.

That last repo is a bit unfair, standard operating procedure is to sling ones boxers at the wall.

If they don't stick then they're good to wear.
With a splash of Brut naturally.

----------


## Saint Willy

> No cheese or onions,just lettuce and Nandos sauce.
> 
> That last repo is a bit unfair, standard operating procedure is to sling ones boxers at the wall.
> 
> If they don't stick then they're good to wear.
> With a splash of Brut naturally.


back in the 70s & 80s perhaps.

these days everyone is much more of caring, understanding new-age types.

Just sayin

----------


## Edmond

These 6 hour slow braised ribs are nice after a few cold pints.

----------


## Joe 90

> back in the 70s & 80s perhaps


Brut is making a comeback.

Ask Vinny Jones

----------


## CalEden

> Thanks, I do not want to Hijack Mendy's thread but I am now taking notes. 
> 
> @ ootai,
> My Daughter is getting married. Let see what happens as the time heads towards October. We agreed that if it is the same or worse they will either postpone it or a do a private small one then hopefully after Covid (If such a thing even exists) they will plan a more formal larger one.
> 
> Strange times...


Congratulations, another thing October has become Wildfire Season in California.

----------


## Saint Willy

Morning Menny. 6 more days

----------


## Stumpy

Yep.  Top of the morning to ya Mendy.  Time to get a cracking.  

Btw. How are your feet?  Don't need a pic, just a simple update will suffice.

----------


## Stumpy

> Congratulations, another thing October has become Wildfire Season in California.


Thanks. Yeah Aug through Dec is burn season now in California. They are already proposing water rationing and it's Mid Jan.... :smiley laughing:

----------


## PAG

> Brut is making a comeback.
> 
> Ask Vinny Jones

----------


## Mendip

Good morning guys!

It's 7 days to go, not 6. The quarantine is 14 full days, with the day you arrive counted as day zero. I arrived on Friday 15th and checked my release date with reception today... it's Saturday 30th, a week today. This works out as 15 nights, which is a bit of a pisser. I was expecting to get out on the Friday.

And my feet are getting better JP, thanks for asking. I'm not sure if it's the medical foot cream or Loy Toy's and Joe 90's cure of sticking them in the sun, but something's working.

----------


## Saint Willy

> but something's working.


Glad to hear that mate. Have you caught and cooked up your pigeon yet?

----------


## Stumpy

Great to hear. You want your feet ready to go when you bolt out the door. Can't have you limping.

How is the skyline today?  Heard the Smoke in BKK is pretty bad. 

I did a typical work out this AM.  Glass of OJ then rode bike about 10km loop that ends back at the park by my house. Walked about 6k steps as I spoke with a few buddies and read some work emails. Weather is warming up so I hope to drop a few laps in the pool later then float around with a few beers.

Do any exercising in the room?

----------


## Saint Willy

I spent a few hours revising my PhD Chapter on Thaiophiles.

----------


## Mendip

KW, she's a zebra dove, not a pigeon. And she won't get eaten by me... she's my only company.

We've had a relaxing morning in the sun on the balcony... I'm finally getting back into reading again, which is good as I've got two or three novels in my bag.

Today she even brought along a friend and we did a 'selfie' which was pretty cool.



JP... exercises in the afternoon... around 30 minutes and I've been sticking to it.

The skyline is pretty hazy... I hadn't noticed until you mentioned it.


Nearly forgot... I needed cheering up last night and on Netflix I found 'Something about Mary'. I'd forgotten how funny it is... that did the trick marvelously!

----------


## Saint Willy

> I needed cheering up last night and on Netflix I found 'Something about Mary'. I'd forgotten how funny it is... that did the trick marvelously!


An old classic.

----------


## Headworx

No girl has _ever_ worn her hair like this since  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

Here you are *mendip* ... something to cheer you up  :Smile: 

*Day Hog Ground*

Day Hog Ground on Vimeo

----------


## Mendip

^ Thank you David, I'll check it out.


My biggest decision to make today was whether to finish my peas with lunch or save a portion for next week.

After my disaster with the whisky I decided to leave meself something to look forward to the next time I get fish and chips.

Today it was chicken things with ten chips (yes... double figures!), a small portion of peas and salad. The weight will be falling off.

This is as good as it gets in ASQ. And Bristol City in the FA Cup tonight... what a day!

----------


## Saint Willy

That looks delicious....lol

----------


## ootai

Mendip
The lunch looks OK but only enough to feed your pet dove.
Ask your keepers if they have a scale so you can weigh yourself.
If you show them you have dropped from 110kgs to a 100kgs they might feed you more so you don't die before they get you out the door.

----------


## cyrille

> Ask your keepers if they have a scale so you can weigh yourself.


That was probably the first step in determining his rations.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Dillinger

There'll be more meat on that pet dove

----------


## Stumpy

> That looks delicious....lol


 :smiley laughing:  

I just don't get the food quality.  Is this ASQ like a motel 6 or something?

 I eat small portions and all but what I eat doesn't look like a grab 45 minute late Santa Fe dinner... This isn't prison. You are entering this process of your own free will. They could at least feed you properly

----------


## Dillinger

> I just don't get the food quality. Is this ASQ like a motel 6 or something?


He says he splashed out, but its in fukkin DJ Pat  holidaying territory. :Smile:  and I'm guessing Farang cooking is not high on their agenda?

----------


## Saint Willy

> There'll be more meat on that pet dove



and there’s two of them. No one will notice one missing.

----------


## Stumpy

That food looks like Makro frozen food from big bags. I'd almost sooner not eat in protest. Of course maybe they saw Mendips weight and cracking feet and told themselves, "Maybe we better help this guy out and starve him a bit so his feet will heal"

Just speculating.  

"BRB. Have to get out of the pool to get another beer. Apparently my niece went to the store so my help is gone"   :rofl:

----------


## Stumpy

Ok. Back.  Ahhh man that Super chilled Kaiserdom in a chilled mug by the pool sure tastes good.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Careful you don't drop your phone in the pool mate. That would be a shame.

----------


## Saint Willy

> That food looks like Makro frozen food from big bags. I'd almost sooner not eat in protest. Of course maybe they saw Mendips weight and cracking feet and told themselves, "Maybe we better help this guy out and starve him a bit so his feet will heal"
> 
> Just speculating.  
> 
> "BRB. Have to get out of the pool to get another beer. Apparently my niece went to the store so my help is gone"


enjoying a few Tiger crystals, not so bad.

I’m thinking of smoking a few burgers for dinner tonight.

----------


## Stumpy

> ^ Careful you don't drop your phone in the pool mate. That would be a shame.


Never you worry there my Friend. I have the S20.  It's good to 10ft for quite some time.  It has been tested.

----------


## Stumpy

> I’m thinking of smoking a few burgers for dinner tonight.


Think I am gonna grill up a nice pork tenderloin with some corn on the cob.  Guess I should moozy on over to the kitchen and takes me a gander on what's available.  

My niece is back and she brought Swensens ice cream for desert later.

----------


## Saint Willy

I had home cut chips as a side with the tomahawk last night, so not really sure I want chips again with the burgers. Maybe a spinach & sweet potato and feta salad might be the thing...

----------


## ootai

Mendip is probably too polite to say it, so I will on his behalf.
You 2 (KW and JP) are a pair of kunts, he's starving you know!

----------


## Stumpy

> Mendip is probably too polite to say it, so I will on his behalf.
> You 2 (KW and JP) are a pair of kunts, he's starving you know!


 :rofl:

----------


## Stumpy

> Maybe a spinach & sweet potato and feta salad might be the thing.


Actually that sounds good. I asked the missus to boil some potatoes so we can have Potato salad. I just looked and my beer inventory is low. I thought I had a minimum reorder point in place. Seems my inventory control system has a glitch. I am going to have to go talk to her about it.

Guess its some Single Malt with dinner. 

Hey Mendy, How ya doin bud? You alright? Both those doves still alive? Do you have a kitchenette in the room? A Microwave?

----------


## strigils

> This is as good as it gets in ASQ. And Bristol City in the FA Cup tonight... what a day!


Thank you for the welcome Mendip, great thread and hang in there. Re the Peas, they primarily sell them in jars in France and they are delicious over there.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Guess its some Single Malt with dinner.


Funny you should mention that, my local gourmet place just messaged me and dropped off a single malt and gin... on credit!  :rofl:

----------


## David48atTD

> Mendid, ask your keepers if they have a scale so you can weigh yourself.
> 
> If you show them you have dropped from 130kgs to a 120kgs they might feed you more so you don't die before they get you out the door.


A little unkind?   :Dunno:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Hey Mendy, How ya doin bud? You alright? Both those doves still alive? Do you have a kitchenette in the room? A Microwave?


How hungry does one have to be before they eat the bird raw? It's like Hunger Games, but for real! 

Lucky he's not a smoker...

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ Thank you David, I'll check it out.
> \



To be fair, for jail food, that kinda looks alright !

----------


## nidhogg

So, I did have a look around to see what other places had to offer for ASQ meals.

Landmark looks OK:









Mind you, probably no balcony, so mendip is quids in.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Landmark looks OK:


Harsh!  :rofl: 






> Mind you, probably no balcony, so mendip is quids in.


food or balcony? 

I'd take the balcony

----------


## Stumpy

Well things changed dramatically. Firstly the wife requested a Vodka and Cranberry cocktail and then politely asked if we could just order Pizza. I made her up her cocktail and me one as well ( and my niece she is 24) so the BBQ is out but a big fat NY style Pizza factory pizza is on the menu.

Guess I am throwing down on the Q tomorrow.

----------


## Stumpy

> food or balcony?
> 
> I'd take the balcony


I'd pass on the balcony for better food as long as the windows opened up. Mind you, not far enough to jump but allow some air in. So I guess if I had 4 minimum requirements.

1) Big TV with a USB or HDMI port in the back
2) Good internet and no BS controls, albeit I can tether from my AIS phone acct to my Lappy and Download
3) Windows that open
4) Food with flavor and doesn't look like it came from frozen bags.

I would imagine how much you are spending at the ASQ will have a huge impact. my colleagues stayed at the GCP on Sukhumvit, They had really good meals and the rooms are large and was told you can call the front desk for snacks.

----------


## Saint Willy

The kids made some banana chocolate chips muffins. An hour before dinner, the cheeky sods!




My delivery arrived, a sun downer cocktail to start and a few single malts for after dinner.

----------


## ootai

> I would imagine how much you are spending at the ASQ will have a huge impact. my colleagues stayed at the GCP on Sukhumvit, They had really good meals and the rooms are large and was told you can call the front desk for snacks


I like the balcony but reckon I could survive without it.
But just for the record JP what did your colleagues pay at GCP?  And what does GCP stand for so I could google it.
I need to have plans for when I hopefully go back to Aussie for a visit.

----------


## Stumpy

^ I like that Glenlivet. Nice nose and taste from the American Oak barrels. Waiting on Pizza. Having me another cocktail......

What's for dinner Mendy?

----------


## Stumpy

> I like the balcony but reckon I could survive without it.
> But just for the record JP what did your colleagues pay at GCP?  And what does GCP stand for so I could google it.
> I need to have plans for when I hopefully go back to Aussie for a visit.


Grande Centre Point Ootai. I will inquire on how much for the room cost.

----------


## Saint Willy

Burgers went down a treat.

----------


## Saint Willy



----------


## hallelujah

I've never quite grasped the Thai aversion to serving a proper portion of chips. You know when you're out in the sticks, can't face any more rice and you end up at that one restaurant in town that advertises "farang food," and it's always the same with about 6 crinkle cut - always seem to be crinkle cut- chips on your plate.

I can only guess they measure it similar to their own portions of rice- a handful? Surely they can see that that handful is gonna look pretty pitiful on the plate though!

----------


## baldrick

> always seem to be crinkle cut


crinkle cut is supposed to cook better - science apparently - maybe more surface area

----------


## bsnub

> I like that Glenlivet. Nice nose and taste from the American Oak barrels.


All Scotch is blended in discarded American oak barrels. You can not call it Bourbon if you reuse the cask. Not to say Scotch is subpar because the opposite is true really.




> Waiting on Pizza. Having me another cocktail......


Pics? Why are you not in the dinner thread?

----------


## hallelujah

> All Scotch is blended in discarded American oak barrels. You can not call it Bourbon if you reuse the cask. 
> 
> 
> 
> Pics? Why are you not in the dinner thread?


I think JP has said before that he doesn't take pics of his food. He steadfastly refuses to, I believe!

----------


## strigils

> All Scotch is blended in discarded American oak barrels.


Scotch can use sherry, port, wine or madeira barrels.

----------


## bsnub

> I think JP has said before that he doesn't take pics of his food.


Well he is being hypocritical.  :Smile: 

I am sure that I have seen some of his steaks before.  :Smile: 

One way or the other me thinks.

----------


## bsnub

We are all going to hell for this I hope you lot realize. But I will finally capitulate. T-Bone steak...



Sorry Mendy...

 ::spin::

----------


## Mendip

Plenty of food talk again I see!  :Smile: 

Yes, I did have to download and enter my details into a health app when I arrived. I have to fill in my temperature twice a day in this app which I think is a government one. They send me a notification twice a day so it's very easy. That is in addition to sending my temperature off to Miss Nurse who I think is staying here at the hotel.

Maybe they saw my details and decided to put me on a diet!  :Smile: 



I looked carefully before choosing the ASQ and you have do choose what suits you. A balcony and opening windows were my essential requirement, and luckily enough food was down the list. I sleep at night with the windows/balcony doors open with mosquito screens drawn, and the aircon set to low just to bring down the temperature a bit and give some extra airflow. That's wonderful after six months of working in aircon sealed boats and offices. If I did this again I would probably choose the same place, but I would bring provisions to put in the fridge and freezer to help me along. 

I stayed in the Grande Centre Point at T21 last July when I went for a train trip with my daughter. Completely sealed windows... and I don't care how good the food is there but I'd find two weeks in that environment virtually impossible. The food at The Landmark looks good in the pics... I've never stayed there but I'd bet it's again sealed rooms with aircon. No thanks, not for me. Also, how often does the reality match the advertising pics? And never more so in Thailand... just see the flaccid shite they give you at McDonalds and then look up at the pictures behind the counter... no comparison.

Here's a pretty well presented list of the ASQ.

Alternative State Quarantine (ASQ) Hotels in Thailand | THAIest

I'm staying here in a 60 square metre suite with a balcony for cheaper than a sealed 30 square metre room in either of those places. I have plenty of space and three separate areas to do nothing in, and today I spent several hours reading my book in the fresh air and sun on my balcony, which was actually quite enjoyable. I also have company and a separate project with 'Zebby'... the time is fast running out to get her eating from my hand. Mind you, can't blame her... the fried rice is pretty shite.



But if food's your thing then this is probably not for you... yeah, the food is disappointing but if I cared that much I could order extra from the hotel or from outside. And besides... as people never seem to tire of telling me, it's all about portion control. This is two weeks out of my life which ever way you look at it... and with no temptations a good time to get my stomach used to eating smaller meals.

But what I really do miss is a sundowner on the balcony. Forget the food pics you've been trying to taunt me with... they have no effect. I want a big whisky right now!

I want a big whisky in a wide whisky glass with one cube of ice, and I want to sip that whisky and feel the burn go all the way down my throat to my stomach.

That's what I want!


Edit: I wouldn't mind that steak Snubs... that look fukkin superb ya wanker!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> want a big whisky in a wide whisky glass with one cube of ice, and I want to sip in that whisky and feel the burn go all the way down my throat to my stomach.
> 
> That's what I want!


like this?


.

----------


## Mendip

:Smile: 

Yes, exactly like that but with maybe 3x more whisky.

I like a good measure... and the knowledge that you don't have to get up again for half an hour to get the next.

----------


## bsnub

> like this?


You got your delivery.

----------


## Headworx

> I've never quite grasped the Thai aversion to serving a proper portion of chips.


Always been a problem, making it worse is 9 times out of 10 they'll be local brand frozen chips which cost about 25 Baht per ton and are shit! Not a problem for yesterdays lunch at a favourite local pub though, hand cut from imported spuds and a good sized serving but if you eat them all and want more they'll refill your chip basket for free.

----------


## Edmond

> If you show them you have dropped from 110kgs to a 100kgs they might feed you more so you don't die before they get you out the door.





> A little unkind?



Did they leave the door widened from when they squeezed him in, or have some builders return it to normal?  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Great HW, more food pics!  :Smile: 

And that looks pretty good as well... all my boxes ticked.


Anyway, in a desperate attempt to veer this thread away from the subject of food, and also because I need to keep myself awake for another hour to watch Bristol City beat Millwall to go into the 5th round of the FA Cup, I'm going to show another huge bonus of a balcony. Also I'm a bit bored and this passes the time.

I've been doing a spot of urban bird watching...My target was 10 species but I'm already up to 11 after only two days of trying. I reckon I can get to 20 by the time I leave. The bird life in urban Bangkok is surprising.

I often do this with my daughter when we're on holiday... anything to get her off the screens and provoke some conversation. You too can play this at home.

First up, of course...

Species 1:   Zebra finch (_Geopelia striata_)



Species 2: Common myna (_Acridotheres tristis_)

At rest...



In flight...



Species 3: Spotted dove (_Spilopelia chinensis_)

A pair in the tree.



Species 4: Eurasian tree sparrow (_Passer montanus_)



Species 5: Feral pigeon (_Columba livia_)



Species 6: House swift (_Apus nipalensis_)



Species 7: Eastern jungle crow (_Corvus levaillantii_)





Species 8: Malaysian pied fantail (_Rhipidura javanica_)



Species 9: Some kind of Hummingbird or sun bird

I'll be absolutely buggered if I can identify this tiny little bird drinking nectar from the flower.



Species 10: Finlayson’s squirrel (_Callosciurus finlaysonii)

_Not strictly speaking a bird, but I'm counting it.



Species 11: bat

Again, not really a bird and the photo wasn't good enough for a definite ID.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Yes, exactly like that but with maybe 3x more whisky.
> 
> I like a good measure... and the knowledge that you don't have to get up again for half an hour to get the next.


I dont mind getting up. Besides that was half way through when I took the pic.






> You got your delivery.


Sure did, home delivery & the boss told me that I can pay whenever I want. But if course now MrsKW is suspicious because this owner is female and Yaddya yaddya ydaddh

----------


## Saint Willy

I spotted some sort of eagle the other day, that was pretty cool, and speaking of food I dunno why those burger pics didn’t work earlier but here’s the complete masterpiece in all its glory,

beef burger
cheddar
onion
jalapeño 
egg
bacon
tonato
mushrooms
mustArd and dead horse

----------


## hallelujah

Bristol City are 1 up!

----------


## Mendip

^ Yes... a penalty.

I couldn't get Joe's stream to work so I'm listening on Radio Bristol.

----------


## Mendip

Sheffield Utd or Plymouth Argyle next... you gotta fancy City to make the quarters.

----------


## Joe 90

Working ok for me today and all season..


Thai government must have half the web blocked.

Giant Wotsit anyone..


Unfortunately the wheel has fallen of the wagon at Chez Chitty today, my excuse is its footy day :bananaman: 

God help Teachy, Reachy and Princess later :smiley laughing:

----------


## Joe 90

Good first half for Bristol...

----------


## Joe 90

> God help Teachy, Reachy and Princess later


Only joking  love you all really :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

Goal!!!

Bristol City well on there way to the last 16 now.

----------


## Mendip

ASQ doesn't get better than this.

3-0!

----------


## Joe 90

What a celebration by Semenyo!

Pure class unlike those dirty, cheating Millwall rif raf.

----------


## armstrong

Could you cunts post your food pics elsewhere on the forum, like one of the hundred dinner threads? We got the joke about 10 pages ago and it was boring after the 2nd one.  I want to read about his ASQ not scroll through shit pictures you've taken just to feel like a smug twat.

----------


## David48atTD

> Could you cunts post your food pics elsewhere on the forum, like one of the hundred dinner threads? We got the joke about 10 pages ago and it was boring after the 2nd one.  I want to read about his ASQ not scroll through shit pictures you've taken just to feel like a smug twat.



Do the Soccer and the booze have to go also?

----------


## Joe 90

Just having a craic with Mendip on his thread.

It's not all about Mendips ASQ hotel.

Thai Dupp did a recent ASQ thread.

I'm home! My repatriation to Thailand from Dubai during the COVID-19 restrictions

I you feel like a late night Mendip, there's a classic live on BBC1 in 40 mins. A different sort of cup meeting in Cheltenham.

Congratulations on your team getting through easily to the last 16.

----------


## strigils

> Do the Soccer and the booze have to go also?


I think he is a Millwall fan.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Do the Soccer and the booze have to go also?



 :rofl:  touché! 

mane booze may well have been the problem in this case. Nice one Armstrong, ya dick.

----------


## lom

> ASQ doesn't get better than this.
> 
> 3-0!

----------


## Edmond

When you're 37, but suddenly turn into your 70 year old father.  :Smile: 





> *Angry rant edited out* .... I want to read about his ASQ

----------


## Joe 90

I know how you're partial to lamb Mendip. 

So we had a minced lamb casserole tonight..



The smell drives the dog crazy, must be the Collie in him.
He licked the plates clean.

Run out of grog with all the footy on tv today, gonna have to head out to the shop in the ice and snow for a re-stock.

Damn inconvenience, I may be gone time....

----------


## hallelujah

> Run out of grog with all the footy on tv today, gonna have to head out to the shop in the ice and snow for a re-stock.
> 
> Damn inconvenience, I may be gone time....


Can you not send them a Whatsapp and tell them to drop some off? Easy peasy here. 

Make sure you stock up for tomorrow with all those games on; Mendip will be sitting pretty thinking about who Bristol City are gonna get in the 1/4s after they've done for Sheffield United!

----------


## hallelujah

> Do the Soccer and the booze have to go also?


There's always room for proper football and ale. Plus, Mendip's thread = Mendip's rules!  :Smile: 

We're all Bristol City fans now!

----------


## PAG

> I know how you're partial to lamb Mendip. 
> 
> So we had a minced lamb casserole tonight..
> 
> 
> 
> The smell drives the dog crazy, must be the Collie in him.
> He licked the plates clean.
> 
> ...


Looks like a de-constructed Shepherds Pie.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Looks like a de-constructed Shepherds Pie.



most definitely  :rofl:

----------


## baldrick

> Scotch can use sherry, port, wine or madeira barrels.


and rum casks

----------


## Stumpy

Morning Mendy,
So now officially 6 days left.  At least you are on the backside of the quarantine period.

And to Snubs question, I do not typically post food pics.  I have done it occasionally but it's primarily because I just don't take pictures of my food.  I eat it then say OH Shit. I should have taken a picture. 

Have a good day Mendy.  Just think about how good that whiskey is gonna taste once your out.  Honestly I'd probably run to a bar.... :Smile: . There is a really good Whiskey bar on Wireless Road by Arlos.  I used to go sit after work and watch the people and traffic.  Not sure how far you are from there.

----------


## ootai

> Could you cunts post your food pics elsewhere on the forum, like one of the hundred dinner threads? We got the joke about 10 pages ago and it was boring after the 2nd one.  I want to read about his ASQ not scroll through shit pictures you've taken just to feel like a smug twat.


I actually thought it was a thread about Mendip's commute of which the ASQ is the little bit at the end on his way home.
So it that respect its about life in general so just like life there is a lot of shit in amongst the good bits.
So suck it up!

----------


## Stumpy

> Could you cunts post your food pics elsewhere on the forum, like one of the hundred dinner threads? We got the joke about 10 pages ago and it was boring after the 2nd one.  I want to read about his ASQ not scroll through shit pictures you've taken just to feel like a smug twat.





> I actually thought it was a thread about Mendip's commute of which the ASQ is the little bit at the end on his way home.
> So it that respect its about life in general so just like life there is a lot of shit in amongst the good bits.
> So suck it up!



I'm with Ootai in that this thread is not only therapeutic to Mendy but informative to us. There is a lot of funny banter and good spirited fun like a bunch of guys messing with each other like friends do. As ootai said, Suck it up. Google search ASQ stays and I am sure you can find plenty of them where its all serious and laid out minute by minute.  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

^Exactly. I think we all know Mendip's sense of humour runs very deep by now, I've go no doubt this thread and its forever deviating topics is making him laugh and in some small way, keeping him sane!

----------


## katie23

^^I think Thaidupp's thread is more specific & has less banter, so if looking for ASQ rules, that's the go to thread.

Light hearted banter is all good, IMO. 

Happy Sunday to all!  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

Happy Sunday Katie,  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Morning JP... good morning all, yes, over half way now.

I had an encouraging  start to the day with a shower and a change of underwear... better than I  manage most mornings. I even cleaned my teeth! I really am surprised at how quickly my hygiene has deteriorated.

In fact, at the  risk of sounding like a bit of a loner, this ASQ is wonderfully  liberating after spending so long working with barely a moment to myself. There is definitely a plus side to not having to mix with the human  race. If I had Dan and Coco up here with me I could do a month, easy.

I  have an appointment in Bangkok I need to attend before returning home to Korat,... it makes sense to sort some stuff out while I'm here in case of any future lockdowns. That leaves me with a couple of days to hopefully sample a whisky or two  although I think Bangkok bars are closed at the moment? I'm sure some  locals will know better than I. My first port of call on release was  going to be the Robin Hood on Sukhumvit for a full English, but I see  from their web page that they're not allowed to serve alcohol at the  moment. I have it on good authority that bars should be fully opening by  the end of the week which would be perfect timing.... there's only one  thing better than a full English, and that's a full English with a pint  of cider!

In the meantime I have a load of admin and tax stuff to  sort out... but I may just read my book instead... or maybe I'll have a  snooze. It just doesn't matter when you're in ASQ!

I had the knock on the door at 8am as usual but when I picked up my rations I noticed that my neighbour's table has mysteriously disappeared and his door was ajar... so I guess either he died in the night from starvation or he's been released, lucky bugger.

He was an Aussie. Surprised he didn't hang around for one last free breakfast.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Maybe he requested a move as he coulkd longer put up with living next door to an unclean, unhygienic POM!

Reminds of an old joke that went something like this.
When the Englishman decided to move into the pigsty to live with his pigs they up and moved out.

----------


## Mendip

:Smile: 

That made me laugh Ootai!

The first sentence... not the 'joke'. You need a new joke book mate!

----------


## baldrick

> or he's been released, lucky bugger.


if you had his phone number and he was heading out of the city you may be able to get some future intelligence on your next mission

----------


## Saint Willy

Sunday Roast or Fish and Chips? (I just watched Chef Baz's latest video!)

----------


## armstrong

Most open BKK bars are serving but it's in cups and a limited choice.  One place was openly serving beer but placing an empty bottle of alcohol free Heineken on the table next to your glass.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

Armstrong is awake again, have a good night buddy?

----------


## Mendip

^^ Nice one... let's hope cider is one of the limited choices!

I don't really care what I drink it out of.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^^ Nice one... let's hope cider is one of the limited choices!
> 
> I don't really care what I drink it out of.


Where there's a will, there is a way Mendip. 

You've been absent from home 3/4 of a year, another 2 weeks wont change much. But a week on the lash on Bangkok could make all the difference to your mental health and wellness. Probably even charge it back  to your company?

----------


## Stumpy

Hey Mendy,
Just to give you some motivation.......



I got up at 6am, Did a quick mtn bike ride. Then came back and vacuumed the pool and got it all ready for an afternoon swim.  Being you have a pool you should do this stuff yourself. Its very refreshing early and maybe show your daughter as well. I have shown my niece how to check the pool chemistry and she watched today as I set up to vacuum. That pool cleaning exercise was a 3610 step start to my day. 



I spiffied up the RVF and after the pool took a nice 64 km ride up the 4007, then zipped across on the 2020 then looped back on the 2027. Beauty morning and best around here is no police. Just ride. I stopped and had a cappuccino at the half way point.


Let your countdown to freedom begin......6

----------


## strigils

Mendip the end is in sight. You mentioned much earlier in the thread about future plans, have you had time in quarantine to reflect on these and draw any conclusions? 

I have tried to firm mine up over the past 3-4 years but it seems something always comes along to throw in an unconsidered variable which throws them awry.

----------


## David48atTD

> I had the knock on the door at 8am as usual but when I picked up my rations I noticed that my neighbour's table has mysteriously disappeared and his door was ajar... so I guess either he died in the night from starvation or he's been released, lucky bugger.
> 
> He was an Aussie. Surprised he didn't hang around for one last free breakfast.



I hope you nicked his rations to add to yours!

----------


## lom

> I noticed that my neighbour's table has mysteriously disappeared


and with the table gone there was only his bin-bag on the floor.




> I hope you nicked his rations to add to yours!


Good thinking rookie but far from a cigar...

----------


## Dillinger

^^^^
You evil fokker, JP






 :ban him:

----------


## Stumpy

That's some serious "Shrinkage" weather right there Dil. I am so very thankful I will never ever see snow again and chip frozen snot off my nose and lose feeling because of numb fingers and toes plus shedding clothes on and off all day... :smiley laughing:

----------


## Edmond

^^ Do you have another one for your left arsecheek.  :Smile:

----------


## strigils

Mendip, get buzzin with Bez, not that kind of buz...

----------


## Stumpy

^ Fishlocker...is that you?

----------


## David48atTD

> ^ Fishlocker...is that you?


My guess is not.

More likely a Pom, given his Soccer comment last night.

Way too subtle for Fishy

----------


## Stumpy

> My guess is not.


Roger that David. Anytime I see a poster start with Youtube BS I get suspicious.  I am guessing a nic as he jumped right in without a moments delay and seems to navigate the board well.

----------


## strigils

> Roger that David. Anytime I see a poster start with Youtube BS I get suspicious.  I am guessing a nic as he jumped right in without a moments delay and seems to navigate the board well.


Goodness me, calm down. Its an exercise toob as you Americans like to put it - to help Mendip get the weight off, it also happens to be from a chap from the Stone Roses and if Bez can get fit there is hope for anyone.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Goodness me, calm down. Its an exercise toob as you Americans like to put it - to help Mendip get the weight off, it also happens to be from a chap from the Stone Roses and if Bez can get fit there is hope for anyone.


Apologies, multi nic'ing is a huge past time on this site. Just ask a few that have 5 or 6 of them... :Smile: 

Welcome aboard.

----------


## Mendip

^^^^^^ Well thanks for that strigils, I think. What sort of a name is Bez?

I did Week 1 no problem... apart from the sit-ups. I've got no-one to hold me feet!





> But a week on the lash on Bangkok could make all the difference to your mental health and wellness. Probably even charge it back  to your company?


I don't need two weeks, but a couple of days will be nice. I'll have to pay for it meself sadly, but you've reminded me that I can put the cost of the ASQ through as a legitimate expense to get home. In effect that'll knock 20% off the price. 





> I got up at 6am, Did a quick mtn bike ride. Then came back and vacuumed the pool and got it all ready for an afternoon swim.  Being you have a pool you should do this stuff yourself. Its very refreshing early and maybe show your daughter as well. 
> 
> Let your countdown to freedom begin......6


Sounds like a fun-packed day mate. When we built our house and pool in 2007 I at first started out all keen to do the pool cleaning meself. I must admit my interest has waned over the years although I still try and do it now and again when I get time.





> Mendip the end is in sight. You mentioned much earlier in the thread about future plans, have you had time in quarantine to reflect on these and draw any conclusions?


I'm in no rush to anything for a month or so apart from catch up with the family, especially my daughter. Six months is a long time in a nine-year-old's life. 

As for future plans... I need to earn for a few more years yet so no big changes on the horizon. I don't want to travel again any time soon, until borders are open and I can get to and from a boat easily with no quarantines at either end. So Covid has pretty much ended my work in the short term, and Brexit has pretty well knackered it in the long term... what with new stringent requirements for working onshore in Norway and limited work days now allowed within the rest of Schengen. My plan is to develop working remotely. One positive about Covid is that companies are much more open to people working from home. 





> You evil fokker, JP


It doesn't bother me mate... the gardener does my menial stuff... frees me up for power walks and gym sessions.

Your daughter must be CTF with all that snow!

----------


## cyrille

> the Stone Roses






> Bez


I hope that was a deliberate mistake.

It'll send hallelujah potty.

He hasn't listened to anything else since 1990.

----------


## Mendip

OK, so now I know what sort of a name Bez is. 

I've never been a Stone Roses fan!

----------


## armstrong

It won't be a Happy Monday for him that's for sure.

----------


## David48atTD

> It'll send hallelujah potty.
> 
> He hasn't listened to anything else since 1990.


Harsh ... closer to 1995 ?











 ::spin::

----------


## strigils

> I hope that was a deliberate mistake. It'll send hallelujah potty.
> He hasn't listened to anything else since 1990.


Yes, i imagine the Happys are Hallelujahs wake up alarm. Cut him in half and he's like a stick of rock, "Mad for it" and "Manchester" in red letters  :Smile: 




> My plan is to develop working remotely. One positive about Covid is that companies are much more open to people working from home.


That would work, but as you have mentioned you'll need to be disciplined. I had a stint of 5 months working from home and some days the only thing that defined a weekday from the weekend was whether i turned on the works laptop or popped a beer.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^^^^^^ Well thanks for that strigils, I think. What sort of a name 
> I don't need two weeks, but a couple of days will be nice. I'll have to pay for it meself sadly, but you've reminded me that I can put the cost of the ASQ through as a legitimate expense to get home. In effect that'll knock 20% off the price.
> w!


 Including the one week quarantine you still have...

and obviously you dont send an invoice from Naughty Nois, just adjust the invoice to something to do with quarantine details. 

.


> Harsh ... closer to 1995 ?





> 





those extra 5years make all the difference...

 ::doglol::

----------


## Iceman123

I feel for you stuck in that hotel Mendy, no booze shit food etc. in the meantime since you have bugger all to do can you recommend what I should start on from my bar fridge tonight. TIA.

----------


## ootai

> I did Week 1 no problem... apart from the sit-ups. I've got no-one to hold me feet!
> 
> 
> Sounds like a fun-packed day mate. When we built our house and pool in 2007 I at first started out all keen to do the pool cleaning meself. I must admit my interest has waned over the years although I still try and do it now and again when I get time.
> 
>  what with new stringent requirements for working onshore in Norway and limited work days now allowed within the rest of Schengen.



Mendip if you tie a towel around your ankles and hook it behind the bed post with the bed post between your ankles, you don't need anyone to hold your ankles.

So cleaning your pool is now like cleaning your undies an occasional thing that happens sometimes?

I must plead ignorance on this issue , what is "Schengen"?

----------


## Stumpy

> Sounds like a fun-packed day mate. When we built our house and pool in 2007 I at first started out all keen to do the pool cleaning meself. I must admit my interest has waned over the years although I still try and do it now and again when I get time.


Thanks Mendy.  well another day is closing out for you mate. you should be rather happy in that this will pick up steam now as it closes out. 

I understand on the pool. One thing for me, based on my hyper personality, is I love having lots of things to do every day. This way when I wake up I have a load of options to embark upon. I called my oldest daughter after my moto ride this am and her and her fiancé said "Where is the vid?".  I said I did not mount up the GoPro for this ride. Man I got an earful as they have gotten used to me sending them vids of my rides as they love the scenery here.  One thing I have found living here is having hobbies is paramount. So getting up with your daughter and showing her how to vacuum the pool is good bonding time and if the weather is nice, toss her in.. :Smile: . I am enjoying teaching and showing my niece. I said next week we flip a coin on who vacuum's the pool. We both laughed. I get that you being away requires a gardener to care for the place but that guy should be given a vacay when you get back home. 

Cheers

----------


## katie23

@ootai - Schengen zone refers to a group of 26 Euro countries which have no border controls (or something like that). I've had to apply for a Schengen visa some years ago (lots of requirements, for a SEA national like me). 

Schengen

Schengen Area - Wikipedia

I think with Brexit, UK citizens can only stay for 90 days within a 180-day period in the Schengen area (before, it was unlimited). Not sure though, so I'm welcome to be corrected. I've watched quite a few Brexit vids the past few weeks.

So with that new rule, mendip can only work for a limited number of days in the Schengen area. If there's quarantine on the Euro side, the days are eaten up (or something like that).

----------


## Mendip

^ Exactly right Katie, and Norway is in Schengen but not part of the EU and things get a whole lot more complicated. There's also tax implications.

^^ Yeah JP, bonding time with the daughter is paramount... it's a plan for a weekend morning. 

The gardener won't be getting a holiday anytime soon... on my immediate list is replacing our rotting facia boards, replacing the rotting jetty at the pond and I want to build a dove cote. The facia boards at least is a two man job.

----------


## Saint Willy

Evening time. 

a simple burger sandwich. 




with a gin  on the rocks

----------


## Stumpy

Tonight was an busy night as I plan on pouring cement tomorrow

However tomorrow night will be a seafood throw down and I am currently planning on a home made potato salad. You know there is another thread about a proper "English" breakfast. While I hate to throw stones in a glass house that breakfast look simply disgusting. who eats slop like that and loves it.... :rofl:  

One thing about us "Mercans" we do not have a "Signature" bfast and that's what makes it so nice. If I am going to have a breakfast its an Omelet with chili's, onions, cheese with some Tabasco Habanero sauce. Some wedge cut taters and either ham or bacon.   I also love me a "Big" stack of flapjacks with Real Maple serious and Real butter. Who in the hell eats Pork and Beans in the morning and lets the juice run all over the other food.  ... :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Sorry, just cannot agree with you there. A proper English breakfast is divine.

----------


## Stumpy

> Sorry, just cannot agree with you there. A proper English breakfast is divine.


Its OK KW, If I had a plate of it it would accidently take a 30 story plunge of your balcony.... :Smile: . Sooner have a Redbull energy drink and call it bfast....

----------


## ootai

> One thing about us "Mercans" we do not have a "Signature" bfast and that's what makes it so nice. If I am going to have a breakfast its an Omelet with chili's, onions, cheese with some Tabasco Habanero sauce. Some wedge cut taters and either ham or bacon.   I also love me a "Big" stack of flapjacks with Real Maple serious and Real butter. Who in the hell eats Pork and Beans in the morning and lets the juice run all over the other food.  ...



JPPR2

I don't know how anyone could eat chillies for breakfast.

Also after all that you have posted on here about your eating habits I just cannot picture you eating flapjacks (which I am assuming is Mercan for pancakes) and maple syrup AND butter.  You must be buzzing around like crazy after that sugar hit.

----------


## Mandaloopy

Sound like you are coping with the ASQ situation pretty well, if I am ever in a need to do it a balcony seems like a must.
Sipping on a large Harbin at the moment and sending out Google Meet invites for an exciting Grade 3 curriculum meeting.

----------


## lom

> Yeah JP, bonding time with the daughter is paramount...


Kudos to you for prioritizing time with your daughter instead of  cycling, running, and playing football all the day.

----------


## David48atTD

Watch Chelsea vs Luton Town live streaming for free. English FA Cup online broadcast. Football videos.



All the links ... SportsBay. Watch free live sports streams online. Tennis, Basketball, Football streaming.

----------


## Stumpy

> I just cannot picture you eating flapjacks (which I am assuming is Mercan for pancakes) and maple syrup AND butter. You must be buzzing around like crazy after that sugar hit.


It doesn't happen often Ootai but man is it delicious.  The smell of 100% fresh maple syrup and the taste of real butter...to die for.

As for sugar....if my wife makes the breakfast she usually leaves for the day to her aunts.  She knows the sugar will have me spun up for hours.. :smiley laughing:

----------


## bsnub

> One thing about us "Mercans" we do not have a "Signature" bfast and that's what makes it so nice. If I am going to have a breakfast its an Omelet with chili's, onions, cheese with some Tabasco Habanero sauce. Some wedge cut taters and either ham or bacon. I also love me a "Big" stack of flapjacks with Real Maple serious and Real butter. Who in the hell eats Pork and Beans in the morning and lets the juice run all over the other food. ...


Ok so let's just mob around in our Land Cruisers. Then you and the wife can throw the bugs in the barbie. LUL




> I don't know how anyone could eat chillies for breakfast.


You also like your steak cooked to shoe leather. What do you know?

 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Dillinger

Uncle Mendy

----------


## strigils

She has a good eye for proportions  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> One thing about us "Mercans" we do not have a "Signature" bfast and that's what makes it so nice.


So English Breakfast is a signature breakfast?  and American Breakfast isn't?

----------


## strigils

> So English Breakfast is a signature breakfast?  and American Breakfast isn't?


A trendy word is all, there is a lot of joshing on here which goes over some peoples heads and leads to too much partisan commentary on here it seems. imho. Its only breakfast....  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> can you recommend what I should start on from my bar fridge tonight


I'd go Beer Lao top right with me cobber Tezza.  :Yup: 





> She has a good eye for proportions


She modeled the shape on Mendy.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> .... Sooner have a Redbull energy drink & ciggie and call it bfast....


dont knock it...

----------


## ootai

> You also like your steak cooked to shoe leather. What do you know?



I know I don't like chillies for breakfast and I like my steak well done that's what I know.
And it seems that you have a good memory about my taste regarding steak.

----------


## David48atTD

> She has a good eye for proportions


Subtle   :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

Morning Mendy. Happy Monday.  Pretend like this is a work week and Friday you are off on vacation.  :Smile: 

What's on the agenda for today?

----------


## Mendip

Morning JP... it's funny you should ask.

Yesterday was Aussie tax stuff... the tax year doesn't finish until the end of June but I set up the spreadsheet and got everything's up to date.

This brings me to a daily moan, which very soon I'll be putting in the correct thread, once this one has been retired.

I rent out an apartment in Perth and the current tenant has stopped paying rent. He says that he's finding work difficult with Covid... and the agents have told me that there are emergency Covid measures that protects tenants from eviction. Meanwhile I'm left paying the astafukkinomical strata fees (management fees in the UK) and other expenses. I don't want to sound heartless but no-one covers my mortgage etc during Covid... I had to travel to the other side of the world to find work. I've been through this before in the UK and it ended up costing thousands, lost rent, solicitors fees, etc etc. Wankers.

Anyway, rant over... today is UK tax stuff... the tax year ends in April so I can almost get this one completed. 

Tomorrow is company accounts and some Norwegian tax stuff.

I've settled into a routine of getting some shit done in the mornings and then taking it easy in the afternoons. Being stuck in ASQ is a good opportunity to get a lot of admin sorted so I can forget about it at home.

I also watched the first two Godfathers yesterday... haven't done that for years. I'll finish the trilogy today so that's another 3 hours odd taken care of.

The time is flying... I might need a couple of extra days.

----------


## Mendip

> Uncle Mendy





> She has a good eye for proportions






> She modeled the shape on Mendy.






> Subtle



Not that subtle to be honest David... wankers, the lot of you!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> I feel for you stuck in that hotel Mendy, no booze shit food etc. in the meantime since you have bugger all to do can you recommend what I should start on from my bar fridge tonight. TIA.
> 
> 
> 
> Attachment 63768


Nice looking bar Iceman!

It's hard for me to advise now that I'm teetotal, but back in my drinking days I would probably have gone for The Beer Lao.

And it's not often I'd agree with anything Edmond says!  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> today is UK tax stuff... the tax year ends in April so I can almost get this one completed.


Self assessment deadline for online is end of the month.
There's loads you can be claiming because of Covid.

I know people who have gotten rich out of covid.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm sorting 2020-2021 Joe... getting ahead of myself.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Meanwhile I'm left paying the astafukkinomical strata fees


Stop paying them on the basis your tennant isn't paying.





> It's hard for me to advise now that I'm teetotal, but back in my drinking days I would probably have gone for The Beer Lao.





> 




 :rofl:

----------


## Shutree

Good morning, Mendip.

Another bright and sunny day out on the balcony.

I did another 2 dry days. Mainly because I leapt off the wagon on Friday and wasted Saturday wandering around feeling crap. Which is very rare for me, I don't drink to excess usually although I do enjoy a beverage most days and probably drink more than one should in a week. Anyway, I did 2 days. You only have to do 2 more days, then another 2. You are on the downhill slope now.

----------


## Stumpy

> Yesterday was Aussie tax stuff... the tax year doesn't finish until the end of June but I set up the spreadsheet and got everything's up to date.


My wife just finished our Thai Taxes. Typical, paid a lot in, get very little back but the best thing is being 100% debt free. So it is what it is. Pay up and done! I jettisoned all my US assets as it was a pain in the ass to manage and in the end the write offs never equaled the headache of having to manage them. I still have to file a few US tax forms as you can never move far enough away from the US where they do not want to know how much you have in what bank accts around the world.

----------


## PAG

> Uncle Mendy


Uncle Dill......

----------


## Mendip

Which one?  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> Which one?


Harsh.

Mate, you know you will pay for that  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Harsh.
> 
> Mate, you know you will pay for that


Ya know Dil is dialing up a comeback.....let me pull up a chair and get a beer. It should prove to be entertaining.... :rofl:

----------


## strigils

The Dove cote comment is a worry, is Mendip planning kidnap. I'd check Thai wildlife regs Mendip before you commit to a course of action which could see you spend more time locked up with worse food, no balcony and friends closer than the gardener.

----------


## Iceman123

Is the agent following the rules? Have a night in tonight and read the info just to make sure. 




> I rent out an apartment in Perth and the current tenant has stopped paying rent. He says that he's finding work difficult with Covid... and the agents have told me that there are emergency Covid measures that protects tenants from eviction. Meanwhile I'm left paying the astafukkinomical strata fees


Residential tenancies - COVID-19 response | Department of Mines, Industry Regulation and Safety

----------


## Mendip

^ Iceman, that's great thanks. I've had some spare time today and have had a good read.

The agents seem to be on to this and all parties appear to be trying to sort it out. I do have sympathy if it's genuine but past experience has shown that once things start to go awry with a tenant it rarely gets good again. The main problem is the huge strata fees, which sadly are my responsibility regardless of the rental situation. Anyway, things are looking vaguely optimistic.


^^ Strigils... the dove cote has been in my mind for a long time but my friendly zebra dove has motivated me to get on with it. It's more likely to end up as a pigeon cote, but worth a try.

It will have to join the queue behind less enjoyable jobs... I'd forgotten that the pond will need all the sludge pumping out which takes priority. I can barely believe it was almost a year ago when we lost all those fish to the algal bloom. I'll also need to get a truck load of soil to replace the sour soil in the chicken run... I do that once a year. 

The more I think about it, the more I'm tempted for an extra week in quarantine. I fancy re-watching Breaking Bad next week.

All I need to do is a quick stir of the thermometer in my cup of tea before sending the temperature pic off to Miss Nurse. That worked well with me mum many years ago when I wanted a day off school!

----------


## Saint Willy

> All I need to do is a quick stir of the thermometer in my cup of tea before sending the temperature pic off to Miss Nurse. That worked well with me mum many years ago when I wanted a day off school!


or it could backfire badly... imagine being whisked out of hotel quarantine and stuck in ICU while they inject bleach into your arse

----------


## strigils

> The agents seem to be on to this and all parties appear to be trying to sort it out. I do have sympathy if it's genuine but past experience has shown that once things start to go awry with a tenant it rarely gets good again. The main problem is the huge strata fees, which sadly are my responsibility regardless of the rental situation. Anyway, things are looking vaguely optimistic.


Mendip,

It is a nightmare being a landlord. I have worked abroad a great deal and in the past took the opportunity to rent out my property,. After the first two stints i quit the rental market for precisely the reason you have stated, that and finding the place in a mess and requiring significant remedy upon my return. It just wasn't worth the bother imo. When i retire it will be the same, i will keep my places and they can remain empty until i return with just some trusted friends to keep an eye on them. The stress doesn't warrant the income.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yeah, maybe I need to think this through...

Tomorrow is a big day... my second Covid test on Day 11. If I pass that there should be nothing stopping my release.

It's also a big day because my trip to see Miss Nurse will mean yet another underwear change. 

It just never ends.

----------


## baldrick

> It's also a big day because my trip to see Miss Nurse will mean yet another underwear change.


before or after you see her ?

----------


## strigils

> It's also a big day because my trip to see Miss Nurse will mean yet another underwear change.


Just where is she measuring the temp.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

:Smile: 

To be honest it could well be both!

----------


## Stumpy

Yeah Man. Big day Mendip. I know my colleagues got to that day and were doing back flips and running around the room. I laughed the day they got released as they both caught the van to El Gaucho and ate and drank until they had a food coma. I think their dinner bill was like 17,000 bht including booze. Its OK I said...the company pays.... :Smile: . Enjoy your reinstatement back in to society.

----------


## CalEden

Have you tried talking to your neighboring inmates through the vents or toilet?

----------


## Stumpy

Good Morning Mendip.  Moving fast now.

What is on the Agenda for today? 

Have a good one.  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

Is the nurse a looker, Mendip?

----------


## Mendip

^ She's all masked up mate, can't even see her uniform for all the PPE. 

She has nice eyes... yeah, I would!


Morning JP... it's a busy one today. 

Another  Covid test so I need to fire up the shower, dig out some clean  underwear and make myself presentable. Not a great deal on after that,  to be honest.

Some ongoing tax admin and I'm starting to prepare for  the outside world. I need to find out where to report to in Korat on my arrival and  send an email to my daughter's school. They have strict procedures if anyone in the pupil's household has travelled... it  seems a bit over the top after doing ASQ but I need to stick to the rules... just in  case.





> Enjoy your reinstatement back in to society.


Yeah, but I'm going to Korat mate!


And Cal, no need for subterfuge, there's a few guys sat on their balconies in their underwear... we could chat but I tend to avoid them. No standards!

----------


## David48atTD

> ^ She's all masked up mate, can't even see her uniform for all the PPE. 
> 
> She has nice eyes... yeah, I would!


Good Morning Mr Mendy ... time to take your temperature.

Bend over please   :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> They have strict procedures


Funny you should mention strict procedures. I have to renew my Work Permit next month. There is some confusion apparently now on what is required for a doctor exam and if a Covid test is required. Normally I can get a quick doc note, mail it with my WP and Passport and be OK. Now I have to travel to BKK for a few days as the agency attorney our company uses is not sure what the requirements may be in 3 weeks. So I get an all expense paid trip to BKK for a few days.

----------


## Shutree

> She has nice eyes... yeah, I would!
> 
> Another  Covid test 
> 
> there's a few guys sat on their balconies in their underwear... we could chat but I tend to avoid them. No standards!


Good morning Mendip.
After a few months in your situation I think that nurse should be cautious, even in full PPE.
Good luck with the Covid test. No reason to think that you will not pass with flying colours.

I remember when ThaiDupp did this he talked a lot about how good it was to escape his room in the latter part of his stay. Have I missed your thoughts or is there no walkabout time there?

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, she doesn't hang about getting her PPE on, that's for sure. There's another guy standing by as well in case I lose control.

After passing the first Covid test at Day 5, I was eligible to leave the room for one hour sitting in the garden in solitude. You have to book your slot the day before.

To be honest I haven't taken advantage of this. As I've mentioned, I have a small suite with a decent sized balcony, I'm on the top floor (Floor 5) and have a nice view of the airport rail link and a main line railway. I spend a lot of time sitting outside watching the trains go by. There's loads of birds (I'm up to 16 species) and I'm into a good novel. Along with sorting out my tax stuff and Netflix the time has been flying. I've even followed Joe 90's recommendation and done some nude sunbathing (my balcony is surrounded by a solid wall). 

If I was confined to a small sealed room I would be outside as much as possible and I think this confinement could have been a real struggle. With a small suite and a balcony I just haven't felt the need to get outside... especially I'm now doing these exercises as well. And of course there would be all the extra showering and laundering necessary if I was going out to mix with the general public every day.

For anyone contemplating ASQ I can't recommend strongly enough a room with a balcony, high up and south facing... it has really been a game changer for me. A suite doesn't necessarily have to be expensive either... instead of a so-called 5 star hotel, go for a 3 or 4 star... these often have suites for the same price a posher hotel's rooms. 

This is the same strategy I use for booking hotels on the outside as well. I have no need for the extras provided by a 5 star hotel, more so when confined to a room for quarantine. I much prefer to have the extra space.


^^ And JP... I'm assuming you're bringing your drone down. I'll PM my room details.

----------


## Shutree

> Do let us know how it goes


Attachment 63859

The bike trainer arrived last night. There were no instructions so I didn't have to feel bad about not bothering to read them. Just clamped it together and away I went. To nowhere, which makes it just as boring as all the more expensive home exercise machines.
This cost only B1,154 with delivery and it means I can get some exercise on my bike without being chased by every dog down the lane. There are superior looking and more expensive options on Lazada, I think this one will do for me for the time being.
A friend with the same machine has worn his tyre down severely, on his advice I haven't clamped the resistance roller too tightly. I'll experiment.
Initial assessment: better than nothing and cheaper than those expensive and poorly constructed exercise bicycles that end up taking up space in the shed.

(Struggling with the pic. Again. I can double-click the pic then TD refuses to open the window to adjust the size. So it stays small. Pain in the A.)

----------


## Shutree

Third try lucky. TD software roulette.

----------


## David48atTD

> Third try lucky. TD software roulette.


Looking at those pedals, do you actually don your specialist riding shoes to train on the bike (as shown above) ?

----------


## Shutree

> Looking at those pedals, do you actually don your specialist riding shoes to train on the bike (as shown above) ?


Sorry, that is only the angle of the shot. They are standard pedals.

----------


## Saint Willy

> And of course there would be all the extra showering


What fooking showering you mangey pom?

----------


## Saint Willy

> Good Morning Mr Mendy ... time to take your temperature.
> 
> Bend over please



If she looked like that, I bet he wouldnt mind. 





> There's another guy standing by as well in case I lose control.


But I think they are onto him!

----------


## Mendip

I didn't get a good look at my nurse but I'd wager that David's is better looking.

The view from my balcony... my nurse waiting patiently at the testing station.



I got the knock on the door, so off I went. Freshly showered and laundered and ready for my second and hopefully final PCR test.

My nurse was busy with her preparations...



It was only when I got up close for my swabs that I realised to my horror that it was a guy. What is the world coming to.

Thankfully the Covid testing nurses are different to my temperature check nurse... I'd feel a bit foolish to find I'd been flirting and sending silly LINE stickers to a bloke!

----------


## Stumpy

> Just clamped it together and away I went. To nowhere, which makes it just as boring as all the more expensive home exercise machines.


Man I hear ya Shutree. I can't ride a stationary bike. I have to be out seeing different places and scenery. In the US I had a few buddies that used to do those "Spinning" classes. I went and watched one time. Spinning alright...... Peddling your ass off to nowhere while some drill sergeant is yelling "GO...You can do it" crap. Nice thing about doing it outside is once you get 20km from your house you do not need someone yelling you can do it. You better do it or you won't get home.  :Smile: 

Needless to say, I ride around my area up here and interestingly I see many neighbors out and about and they usually wave and say Good Morning.

----------


## Stumpy

Hey Mendy...Is your ASQ backed up against peoples homes?  Looks like it where that nurse was standing...

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah it is. There's a nice maid working in that place... I watch her hanging out the washing.

----------


## David48atTD

> I didn't get a good look at my nurse but <snip>
> 
> I got the knock on the door, so off I went. Freshly showered and laundered and ready for my second and hopefully final PCR test.
> 
> My nurse was busy with her preparations...
> 
> It was only when I got up close for my swabs that I realised to my horror that it was a guy.



 
 :rofl: 

Mate, God bless you ... could only happen to *mendip*  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> Man I hear ya Shutree. I can't ride a stationary bike. I have to be out seeing different places and scenery. In the US I had a few buddies that used to do those "Spinning" classes. I went and watched one time. Spinning alright...... Peddling your ass off to nowhere while some drill sergeant is yelling "GO...You can do it" crap. Nice thing about doing it outside is once you get 20km from your house you do not need someone yelling you can do it. You better do it or you won't get home. 
> 
> Needless to say, I ride around my area up here and interestingly I see many neighbors out and about and they usually wave and say Good Morning.



I have used a bike for the past few years to go about the different towns I have lived and had a plan to get more use out of it now that I have time out here in the sticks. The problem is the 3km stretch out to a tarmac road, there are simply too many dogs lounging around the lane waiting for some fun. I very occasionally see a Thai guy cycle past the house, he always wears thick, long socks and carries a long stick. You can hear the chain of dogs barking before he comes and after he goes. It can't be very enjoyable.

At least this way I get some use out of the bike. If I get too bored my alternative plan is to keep the bike at the gf's family house closer to the main roads and drive down there every time I want to ride.

This is the first place I can remember living, city and country, where I cannot run or ride from my front door.

----------


## Stumpy

> The problem is the 3km stretch out to a tarmac road, there are simply too many dogs lounging around the lane waiting for some fun. I very occasionally see a Thai guy cycle past the house, he always wears thick, long socks and carries a long stick. You can hear the chain of dogs barking before he comes and after he goes. It can't be very enjoyable.


Yeah that would suck. On a trip back from the states I brought back a cattle prod because I would take my dogs for a walk to the river and numerous neighbor dogs would come out and attack. The barking and snarling that ensued seemed to be a calling for more to come. Initially I told my wife to go tell those folks keep their damn dogs in the yard. Wife said "They won't do it.  So took out my Cattle prod on a few walks and zapped them.... and I mean ZAP. Cattle Prods pack a wallop. I hit a few of the bigger Alpha males and the message was sent. Now they all steer clear of me. I also have a Tactical flashlight that has a Stun zapper in the bezel. It also packs a wallop. I just have to hit the button and that crackling noise sends them running. I loaned my Cattle Prod to a Thai buddy at work as he had a dog attack his boy riding a bike. He still has it and messages me that they love it and the dogs do not even come near them.

----------


## Stumpy

> Yeah it is. There's a nice maid working in that place... I watch her hanging out the washing.


Note to self....Binoculars... :rofl: .

----------


## Mendip

My last Covid test, and fish an' chips for lunch. The perfect opportunity to celebrate with the last of my peas.

I must admit I'm quite proud of meself making my jar of peas last until Day 11. I guess in times of adversity the real character shines through.

Fifteen chips as well. What a day!



'Zebby' has taken to popping in now and again to say hello, and she came by for lunch. Ya don't get that at yer fancy Centrepoints and Landmarks!



Having spent the last six months in Europe I'd kind of got used to things making sense and being normal. This time spent in ASQ is readying me for life back in Thailand. 

My hosts leave me continually bemused... having eventually organised my first bottle of milk I've settled into the routine of ordering one bottle 'from outside' every 3 or 4 days for my tea and coffee. Every time it has been one of those small 400ml bottles. Yesterday I was running low so ordered another bottle to see me through to Saturday... same girl at reception, same instructions. This morning I was delivered a 2 litre bottle of milk... with 4 days to go. Life in Thailand is all coming back to me.

But I'm still really happy today. The time is flying and I've had another good result. I was re-packing my bag after lunch, sticking any cold weather gear to the bottom, and came across a pair of sandals. I'd completely forgotten about them... bought them online back in August and had them delivered to my mum's house. When I visited her back in September I must have stuffed them into the bottom of my bag, and then just forgot.

I have a lot of problems getting decent footwear in Thailand but buying online is always a lottery. Anyway, I stuck these sandals on and they immediately felt just perfect... right size and comfy AF... fit like a glove. I'm gonna spend this afternoon trying to get another identical pair, then I should be covered for a few years.

I'm breaking them in walking around my room... it may seem odd just wearing boxer shorts and sandals, but that's the wonderful thing about ASQ... no-one knows!

----------


## Stumpy

> but that's the wonderful thing about ASQ... no-one knows!


But now we do and I sadly now have this really bad image burned in my retina. I may never be the same.

----------


## Iceman123

^^
Dont you just hate it when they screw up the tiling. Every tile in the room has been laid stackbond except the ones around the edges.
I would definitely kick up shit and request a change of room!

----------


## Headworx

^^^Really should be socks worn with them or they're not the panty-dropper you may expect.

----------


## Mendip

> But now we do and I sadly now have this really bad image burned in my retina. I may never be the same.


Well JP, I'm sorry about that.

Guess who's gonna be doing a bit of 'au naterel' sunbathing on the balcony this afternoon... apart from my new sandals of course!

Unburn that from yer retina!  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> I watch her hanging out the washing.


She touched herself while you were out for the PCR test.

----------


## Mendip

> ^^^Really should be socks worn with them or they're not the panty-dropper you may expect.


No socks HW... these will look the bollocks with a pair of jeans and a nice shirt.

Roll on Saturday!

----------


## strigils

> I'm breaking them in walking around my room.


You need your socks on or else the cracked skin will act like a cheese grater and you'll wear out the lining, you are English and socks are to be expected so you'll get away with it.

----------


## Bogon

Wearing them sandals might give you the power to turn water into wine.

They did say that Jesus would come in a different form.

The second coming is upon us.

----------


## Headworx

^^Jesus Christ you should have a warning sign attached to your neck when you get let loose onto lower Sukhumvit soon  :Smile: 

Genuine question (for once) but how do you think your dogs will go when you eventually sober up and head home? Seen a complitation video recently of owners getting home after long periods away and it was common for them to be really wary, scared, or even hostile till getting the scent and at that point they'd go crazy with joy.

----------


## Mendip

FFS guys, they're not Jesus boots, they are proper sandals. Like proper shoes but with some ventilation.


That's a very good question HW and something I've been pondering over.

The longest I've been away before was about 3 months one time, but that was when we only had our original dogs, Dan and her now deceased brother Den. My daughter was a toddler back then.

Dan's over 14 now, her eyesight is poor and she's going deaf, but once she realises that it's me I think she will go mental, running in circles and yelping for a while, I'll get a good lick and then she'll immediately run down to the back gate hoping for a walk... she always does that. I have a very close bond with Dan... she was very sick years ago and slept on the bed, back when the Commandant allowed the dogs in the house.

Coco I'm not sure about... she only turned up last April, so we'd only been together 3 months before I left, and now I've been away 6 months. I think she'll be very nervous at first and will take a while to come around.

The three boys are my worry. I'm sure after initial wariness they'll come up to say hello, but my return will upset the pack dynamic and most probably a fight will ensue. They'll get jealous and vie for my attention. I'll get the wife to separate the boys into different parts of the garden before I arrive so I can let each one greet me unhampered. I think that will be the best solution to avoid an all out fight. I've found it's important to fuss each dog in the order of his pack position to avoid too much jealousy upsetting the balance. But all said and done, I've never been away this long before and I'm not sure what will happen. I really can't wait to catch up with them all again.

Meanwhile things have got a bit weird here... I was out on the balcony, reading my book while stark bollock naked in the sun (apart from my proper sandals) when I had this feeling I was being watched. I looked up and...



I seem to have bonded with a zebra dove. She won't leave me alone... she chatted away and then jumped down and was walking around cooing. I've never known anything like this before.

----------


## David48atTD

^  She knows you're leaving her soon and making her move.

Unless she's a covid nurse bird and 'she' is male dove  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> I was out on the balcony, reading my book while stark bollock naked in the sun (apart from my proper sandals)


I was just starting to not feel woozy then ^ this post

I had to grab a beer and go out by the pool for some therapy.  Not sure I can drink enough to get rid of that all natural with Jesus boots on with a dove watching you image..... Something seems terribly wrong here.

----------


## nidhogg

We have Zebra doves round my way - they have to be the easiest bird in the world to capture-  totally not spooked by humans.  Given that, I have always assumed they are inedible.

----------


## cyrille

Hey JP, do you wax?

Quite a change from Mendip's legs, which I always expect to end in cloven hooves.

----------


## Mendip

FFS... the compliments fly round here!  :Smile: 

I've got men's legs mate.

----------


## Edmond

> FFS... the compliments fly round here! 
> 
> I've got men's legs mate.


Just as well, as they have to carry 150kg of disgusting flab around the place.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Hey JP, do you wax?
> 
> Quite a change from Mendip's legs, which I always expect to end in cloven hooves.


 :smiley laughing: 

No I don't, I was born a blond hair (well showing gray now) blue eyed virtually no hair on my body type. 

I wasn't going to mention anything about Mendips Gorilla hair and Cankles but.... :rofl:  

Sorry Mendy..

----------


## bsnub

> Quite a change from Mendip's legs, which I always expect to end in cloven hooves.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

No problem.

I think it's good that someone knows what gender you are just by looking at your legs.

I wouldn't swap my masculine body for hairless legs and slender ankles. We're just not like that in Somerset.

----------


## David48atTD

> (Men) are just not like that in Somerset.


Somerset, where men are men and the sheep are worried ...  :cmn: 

... or is that New Zealand ?

----------


## Stumpy

I have been drinking since Mendips first comment about his all natural comment and I just can't seem to drink it away.  



It's a Tuesday at about 4:30 and it's going to take 2 or 5 more.  

Hey Mendy. I am hoping that they come in and basically take all the furnishings and burn them after you leave. That would be the most sanitary thing to do.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> I think it's good that someone knows what gender you are just by looking at your legs.


Are you nuts. I have seen more women in the US sporting hairy tree trunks like you have.  Hairy legs and Cankles with fat sandals are the thing and I bet now with Covid it's even more prevalent... :smiley laughing:

----------


## strigils

> Dan's over 14 now, her eyesight is poor and she's going deaf, but once she realises that it's me I think she will go mental,


I think as soon as you ease her into your wifes knickers she'll know daddies home.  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> it's good that someone knows what gender you are just by looking at your legs.


Well, that's the case on here. The J in JPPR2 stand for Jenny.

----------


## bsnub

> It's a Tuesday at about 4:30 and it's going to take 2 or 5 more.


Taco Tuesday always a good excuse to down a few extras.  :Smile: 




> Are you nuts. I have seen more women in the US sporting hairy tree trunks like you have.


Especially the closer you get to Berkley.

----------


## OhOh

> The smell of 100% fresh maple syrup and the taste of real butter...to die for.


................... :Smile: 
..
...... :Smile: .......

----------


## Stumpy

> Especially the closer you get to Berkley


No shit Snubs. Good Lord.  And let's not forget the shaved armpits. Always sexy when they wear a tank top and reach past you to get the sugar at the coffee shop.

----------


## armstrong

How do you manage to get veins over your shin?  Is that healthy?

----------


## Stumpy

> How do you manage to get veins over your shin?  Is that healthy?


I assume that was directed at me since you can't see anything veind in Mendys Legs, I wouldn't know how veins are supposed to travel across the body.  All I can say is I am healthy, active, take no meds and do not walk around naked with sandals on.   :smiley laughing: 

Sorry Mendy. I am 6 drinks in now and the image is still there.  My wife saw me earlier and said I looked a little pale like I was sick..I didn't want to tell her about your naked on the balcony  dove story... :Smile:

----------


## Neverna

It looks like a male zebra dove to me, Mendip. 

Don't shoot the messenger! 



> I seem to have bonded with a zebra dove. She won't leave me alone... she chatted away and then jumped down and was walking around cooing. I've never known anything like this before.

----------


## Mendip

> I think as soon as you ease her into your wifes knickers she'll know daddies home.


You seem to know an awful lot about my habits at home!




> Just be careful , the bird may have spotted something resembling one of his snacks


It's a girl... and I think Zebra doves are vegetarian so I should be OK!


One thing I miss at home is a view. We're surrounded by a 2.5m high wall and that's all you can look at. I really love a good view.

We watched the sunset tonight across the train station and it was a lovely evening.



All that was missing was a glass of whisky... that would have made it idyllic.



As I was reflecting this I had a Skype call. It was my gorgeous young daughter and she sang me the song 'Perfect' while accompanying herself on the ukulele. I must admit that it brought a tear to my eye and hopefully without sounding too wanky this is all now getting quite emotional. 

After thinking about it constantly since I left, I'm now so close to getting back home after six months away that it's a really strange feeling... it's finally becoming real. It's not only the dogs I'll have to be careful handling my return with. My daughter has had six months of growing up... she'll be an older, more mature girl now and I have to accept that. The song she sang had quite adult lyrics... she's not my little baby any more.

Four more sleeps and I'm outta here! What a strange feeling it is.

But I'm still going to have three days on the piss in Bangkok before I go home. I think that's for the best.

----------


## nidhogg

> But I'm still going to have three days on the piss in Bangkok before I go home. I think that's for the best.


A mental health necessity I would have thought.

----------


## Stumpy

All the kidding aside Mendy. You are almost home.  Long trek indeed.

----------


## Mendip

> It looks like a male zebra dove to me, Mendip. 
> 
> Don't shoot the messenger!



Oh shit... that's embarrassing.

I thought _she'd_ brought one of her friends round to meet me tonight as well. Maybe _he_ was showing off his wife?

They all look the same to me.

When I said 'bond', I meant in a male, blokey kind of way!

----------


## Neverna

See if you can get a photo tomorrow of the front of the bird - the breast. That's the best way to tell the males from the females, though sometimes it's not easy to tell. But they are more often than not paired up, so one of them above will be a male and the other a female. The male has a wider pink section in the centre of the breast, and the female has less pink and more of the zebra stripes going towards the centre of the breast.

----------


## Joe 90

> I'm still going to have three days on the piss in Bangkok


These are the pics I'm looking forward too!

Go Mendip!

Go Mendip!

 :bananaman:

----------


## strigils

> The male has a wider pink section in the centre of the breast, and the female has less pink and more of the zebra stripes going towards the centre of the breast.


Mmm, in that case it looks like the fat bird with no table manners could be the lady.

Mendip, not long to go, are you going to liberate some goodies for your daughter to replace the ones lost in erm er transit.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
You said earlier that you have gotten back into reading but by the look of the book in one of your pictures you must be a slow reader as you don't appear to have got very far in.
If you want to finish it before you move out you better move and hurry up.

----------


## nidhogg

> See if you can get a photo tomorrow of the front of the bird - the breast. That's the best way to tell the males from the females, though sometimes it's not easy to tell.


 :rofl: 

Good advice if mendy goes on a nightlife prowl.

----------


## Saint Willy

Those sandals?  :Puke:

----------


## Saint Willy

Ok Mendy. 

Challenge for you. 

Quarantine meets creativity as people make their own versions of the famous complicated contraptions _(© Lancelotlachartre - Dreamstime.com)


__These days, the coronavirus has upended a lot of what we do with our lives. But one thing that quarantine and isolation is perfect for is the planning, building, and running of ridiculously complicated devices designed to complete very simple tasks._
_Rube Goldberg machines!_
_All over the continent, people have been making their own unbelieveable versions of these mega-gadgets, and we want to share some of our favourites with you. In each case, these people spent days and even weeks perfecting their expansive, esoteric apparatuses. And they had to be prepared to fail more than a few times, too. But we think they were all worth it in the end!_
*Sporting life*

_The first is a San Diego family that was determined to score the winning goal in foosball ... in the most difficult way possible, of course. (We love how they start getting more excited as the machine gets closer to the end!)_

_Next up is YouTuber Creezy, whose Swish Machine is easily the most mind-boggling two pointer ever scored in the history of basketball._

*Open for business!*

_At Exploration Place, a science museum in Wichita, Kansas, staff members built an enormous Rube Goldberg machine to celebrate reopening after being under COVID shutdown. It takes them a few tries, but they get there!_

*Don't forget to wash up!*

_Since 1987, there has been a national contest in the United States to build Rube Goldberg machines. Each year, a task is chosen—such as building a hamburger, turning on a radio, or opening an umbrella—and people try to make the best version of the machine to win._
_COVID initially cancelled the 2020 contest. But then the organizers decided to let people submit their machines on YouTube and open up the contest to the whole world. The theme? A very timely, virus-fighting one: Fetch a bar of soap!_
_Ryan's submission was pretty great ... though he just missed catching the bar of soap at the end (which makes for a very funny blooper!)._

_In "Soap Delivery", Brayden and his family combine fun sound effects and a phone call to wash his hands._

_But the winner out of all of the submissions was a family from Toronto. Their Rube Goldberg machine took over two floors of their house ... and even included a soundtrack!_

*Who was Rube Goldberg?*

__
_Rube Goldberg's Self-Operating Napkin. (Wikimedia Commons)_
_American cartoonist Rube Goldberg (1883-1970) was a revolutionary artist. Starting in the early 1900s, his newspaper cartoons became some of the most popular in the country. He won a Pulitzer Prize for his political cartoons, founded the National Cartoonist Society in 1946, and the annual prize for the best cartoonist in the U.S.—the Reuben Award—is named after him._
_Goldberg was also famous for his cartoons that showed outrageously complex machines that were designed to complete a very simple task—like turning on a light switch or, in the cartoon above, wiping someone's face with a napkin._
_Eventually, people tried to replicate these kinds of bizarro contraptions in real life. And the name for them was obvious: Rube Goldberg machines!_
_So are you inspired to trying building one with your family? No time like the present!

We love these COVID Rube Goldberg machines - Owl Connected_


And here is the ultimate. 

Family built incredible Rube Goldberg machine during quarantine Video - ABC News

----------


## Stumpy

Morning Mendy.  Just a few more days. 

Cheers.

----------


## Mendip

Morning JP... yeah, I can almost taste the freedom now.

Only 3 more sleeps!

----------


## Stumpy

Yeah.  At least the weather has been nice and not rainy or gloomy.  That's a huge upside.  

Any tests today or just another balcony day with your feathered visitors

----------


## Mendip

^ No tests but should get the results from yesterday's PCR.

Should finish up my admin stuff this morning. 

The only big thing happening is I've been told the cleaners are coming at 1pm. So it's shorts, t-shirt, the lot... which is a bit of a pain.

Other than that I'm just going to kick back today.



... gotta go... it's washing hanging out time!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Threw some lamb on the barbie yesterday for Strayia Day...



and some other stuff...

----------


## Mendip

^ With English mint sauce!

Looks good! 

I think lamb will be second on my list after the full English... or maybe a steak and kidnep pie.

----------


## Stumpy

OUTSTANDING KW....

I was busy all day with side cement work and some time off for a beer by the pool to try and remove that burned image of Mendy ( which didn't work btw)

I made up some Potato Salad (Moms recipe) early that morning and let chill then Q'd me a Pork Tenderloin.

----------


## David48atTD

Carefull Bear, you're not out of the woods yet ...

COVID *Anal Swabs* for Beijing Residents More Accurate, Says Chinese Expert

COVID Anal Swabs for Beijing Residents More Accurate, Says Chinese Expert 


* Thailand is considering a shift to this more accurate style of test




























* I made that bit up  ::spin::

----------


## Shutree

> See if you can get a photo tomorrow of the front of the bird - the breast. That's the best way to tell the males from the females, though sometimes it's not easy to tell.


Wise counsel for freedom day. Soi Nana can be a confusing place these days.

----------


## Mendip

> ... and do not walk around naked with sandals on.


Don't knock it until you've tried it. Let's revisit that remark after you're 12 days in to ASQ one day... it's easy to mock from the comfort of your own home!






> A mental health necessity I would have thought.


Exactly Nid, at times I do wonder if I've become a bit unhinged over the last six months.

 And I'll be doing it with full sanction from the wife. I'm back to full family/house mode in Korat... a week today I'll be sweating my balls off, vaccinating the chickens. Not complaining, but I need a bit of bar time now and again.






> Mendip, not long to go, are you going to liberate some goodies for your daughter to replace the ones lost in erm er transit.


I refute that remark.

In fact I've been sorting out my homecoming presents today. My daughter has done pretty well... although I must admit that I'll eat most things but cold custard and beans out of the tin aren't very appealing but if I had a microwave it would have been a different story. I think about the SPAM every day but amazingly enough have resisted. My little girl loves her SPAM!

This is her haul... assorted Swedish sour sweets, Heinz Beans, Ambrosia Devon Custard, SPAM, six conkers, a chunk of chalk marl from 3 miles out in the Channel Tunnel, an echinoid and a piece of gothic architecture from Göteborg! 

There can't be many kids in Korat getting that next week!

The wife has perfume and a new tin opener.

The gardener usually shares my bottle of duty free malt, so he's fresh out of luck this time.







> Mendip
>  If you want to finish it before you move out you better move and hurry up.


Well spotted ootai... I'm only on Page 108. I am finding it very hard to get n]back into reading... it's so much easier just to look at stiff on the phone.




> Those sandals?


Outdated attitudes like this is exactly why everyone should get over to 'chic' Europe now and again.

_Men’s sandals were considered to be “out” for quite some time. However, they are back in fashion now and starting to be seen on the catwalks once again, as well as invading all of the clothing and shoe stores. Men’s sandals are the ideal solution for summer outfits; in the city and at the beach.

_https://www.thefashionisto.com/how-to-wear-mens-sandals/_

_

----------


## Headworx

^Great website for men wondering about fashion, covers more than just Jesus boots too I see  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm not sure I've got the body to carry that one off!  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> ^ No tests but should get the results from yesterday's PCR.
> 
> Should finish up my admin stuff this morning. 
> 
> The only big thing happening is I've been told the cleaners are coming at 1pm. So it's shorts, t-shirt, the lot... which is a bit of a pain.
> 
> Other than that I'm just going to kick back today.
> 
> 
> ...


Danger wank

----------


## Mendip

> Carefull Bear, you're not out of the woods yet ...
> 
> COVID *Anal Swabs* for Beijing Residents More Accurate, Says Chinese Expert
> 
> COVID Anal Swabs for Beijing Residents More Accurate, Says Chinese Expert 
> 
> 
> * Thailand is considering a shift to this more accurate style of test


To be honest David, if that nurse in the picture you posted comes round I'm more than game! 

And let;s be clear... the nurse in the FIRST picture you posted, not the second.  :Smile: 


Anyway, bollox to you lot... the last laugh is on me.

I've just passed my second Covid test so no more to take... and nothing to stop my release on Saturday now!

----------


## Mendip

> Danger wank


No 'danger' if you've got a waist high solid wall around your balcony... I would have thought.

I should write a book about ASQ tips.


Anyway, I'm off to wash my hands.

----------


## Mendip

> Wise counsel for freedom day. Soi Nana can be a confusing place these days.


What's that place Shutree... Soi Nanna? Soi Nonna?

I've heard of it before... I'll have to check it out.

----------


## Stumpy

> No 'danger' if you've got a waist high solid wall around your balcony... I would have thought.
> 
> I should write a book about ASQ tips.
> 
> 
> Anyway, I'm off to wash my hands.


Firstly Congrats on passing...All ready to go.

Secondly, you do not think people in those other tall buildings around you do not have binoculars and telescopes? Imagine their horror as Dad pans around with little Kittisak looking on and they see some hairy westerner out on his balcony yankin his pud while two doves watch....????.   :rofl:

----------


## ootai

> Firstly Congrats on passing...All ready to go.
> 
> Secondly, you do not think people in those other tall buildings around you do not have binoculars and telescopes? Imagine their horror as Dad pans around with little Kittisak looking on and they see some hairy westerner out on his balcony yankin his pud while two doves watch....????.


And are the one complaining about Mendip creating pictures that are indelibly printed on a person's brain.
I am now scarred for life.

I also see images of Robin Williams naked in the park in a movie I have now forgotten the name of.
He was a hairy guy same as Mendy.

----------


## Shutree

They don't make it very clear.

----------


## OhOh

Great News.

----------


## Stumpy

> And are the one complaining about Mendip creating pictures that are indelibly printed on a person's brain.
> I am now scarred for life.


Sorry Ootai. I too am scarred for some time. I wonder what those doves were thinking.....

----------


## Shutree

> I wonder what those doves were thinking.....


"You don't see a pecker like that every day."

----------


## Mendip

This seems to have caused quite some discussion.




> Secondly, you do not think people in those other tall buildings around you do not have binoculars and telescopes?


And people with drones for that matter.


I guess it's all part and parcel of city living. I don't see why a few peeping toms should stop someone having a social life.

I was about to say I don't have this problem at home but I suppose evidence would suggest otherwise.

----------


## lom

> Secondly, you do not think people in those other tall buildings around you do not have binoculars and telescopes?


Voyeurs. There is a need for the same numbers of exhibitionists.

----------


## David48atTD

> This seems to have caused quite some discussion.
> 
> And people with drones for that matter.
> 
> I guess it's all part and parcel of city living. I don't see why a few peeping toms should stop someone having a social life.
> 
> I was about to say I don't have this problem at home but I suppose evidence would suggest otherwise.


Agreed Mr Mendip, you and your pecker have nothing to worry about  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy



----------


## David48atTD

Hey *Mendip*, I never asked ... are you an electrical engineer?

Anything with an electrical background?

----------


## cyrille

You seem to be drinking some good gear there, willy.

----------


## nidhogg

> Hey *Mendip*, I never asked ... are you an electrical engineer?
> 
> Anything with an electrical background?


Uh, did you read the thread David?

----------


## David48atTD

> Uh, did you read the thread David?


PM sent ... really  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

You haven't been concentrating David!  :Smile: 

I'm a geologist, or at least that's my background.

----------


## David48atTD

> You haven't been concentrating David! 
> 
> I'm a geologist, or at least that's my background.


Oh, OK.

I thought maybe an an electrical engineer beckground because ...

The famous an electrical engineer Tesla ...




> *Tesla* <snip> admitted to *falling in love* with a very special white *pigeon* that visited him regularly. He reportedly said, I *loved* that *pigeon* as a man *loves* a woman, and she *loved* me. ... In 1922 *Tesla* reported that the white *pigeon* had flown into his room ...

----------


## armstrong

Another amazing picture of Willy's 2sqm balcony.

----------


## Shutree

> Oh, OK.
> 
> I thought maybe an an electrical engineer beckground because ...
> 
> The famous an electrical engineer Tesla ...


I am sure I am not the only one here not to know that story. Suddenly, all becomes clear.

----------


## Saint Willy

> You seem to be drinking some good gear there, willy.


I've developed a fondness for IPAs and craft beers. Unfortunately, they tend to be slightly more expensive than your average Beer Singh or equivalent.





> Another amazing picture of Willy's 2sqm balcony.


I am living the dream.  :rolleyes4: 


Fortunately, I am a fellow of simple needs. A bit of fresh air, a nice view. Does the job!

----------


## Edmond

> A bit of fresh air, a nice view. Does the job!


Amen to that.  :Yup: 





> a fondness for IPAs and craft beers.


Amen to this too.  :Smile:

----------


## CalEden

> OUTSTANDING KW....
> 
> I made up some Potato Salad (Moms recipe) early that morning and let chill then Q'd me a Pork Tenderloin.



Looks like my Mom's receipe too! looks great!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Amen to that. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Amen to this too.



two sleeps Mendy, or shall we say two washing days left?

A friend of mine just reported he completed quarantine in Jakarta. Now I don’t approve but he said in true Indo style he was able to smuggle in a different girl every night. Tis no wonder COVIDis rampaging in Indonesia.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yes, only 2 sleeps to go!

Not much washing to do thankfully... I've made two T-shirts last throughout and will change boxers yet again today and give it all a good soak. Looks like it'll be another good drying day today.

Last night I slept for the full 8 hours and it's the first time I've achieved that for as long as I can remember, certainly many years. Maybe I'm starting to feel the benefits from this clean living? In fact I'm starting to feel sorry for you guys on the outside... I see you poisoning your bodies with alcohol every night, eating way too much red meat... and all that cholesterol! I think everyone should do a quarantine once a year... it wouldn't do you guys any harm at all.

How long was your friend's quarantine in Jakarta? I must admit that conjugal visits wold have helped pass the time. Nothing excessive, but maybe one visit a day would have been good.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
As a result of you being sealed up in your cocoon for the last 12 days and all the clean living (food anyway) you have been doing what is going to emerge a butterfly or a moth?

----------


## Stumpy

Morning Mendy. Top of the day to ya.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Morning JP... I've finished all my jobs, so it'll be a relaxing one today before you ask!

^^ Ootai, a butterfly for sure. Quite a slim one as well... I stood side-on to the mirror this moring and my gut has definitely reduced. I may even be down to fat cnut stage.

And before HW makes a comment... I'm not talking about the kind of  'butterfly' that would flit from bar to bar during my unavoidable three day detainment in Bangkok.

The bars are shut, anyway.  :Sad:

----------


## armstrong

You're in luck, they open this Saturday.

----------


## Headworx

> I see you poisoning your bodies with alcohol every night, eating way too much red meat... and all that cholesterol! I think everyone should do a quarantine once a year... it wouldn't do you guys any harm at all.


You forgot the abstinence part, and that bible reading with a pop-quiz on both testaments before being granted release should be made mandatory too.




> The bars are shut, anyway.


The perfect alabi  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> ... that bible reading






> You're in luck, they open this Saturday.



Oh fukkin hell, the day I get out!

The power of prayer!  :Smile: 


Fuk, my planning is good!

I hope they give the pipes a good clean before pouring my pint of cider to go with my full English breakfast!

----------


## aging one

Hey buddy are you taking advantage of getting out of your room for the hour a day? What have you been doing? Although I think its possible you are simply enjoying your balcony and birds.  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

^^Those Doves should be glad there's no masking tape in your room  :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

> I think everyone should do a quarantine once a year.


people working at newcrest lihir gold mine in PNG are doing 8/4 week rosters with 2 weeks quarantine included at both ends

----------


## Mendip

^ To go offshore in Europe now it's usually a 10 day hotel quarantine before you get on the boat, and then 10 or 14 day home quarantine when you leave (depending where you live)... kind of makes it difficult if you're on a 4 week on/off rota.

I'm really hoping not to work again until things relax. Although I think now many are getting paid for the quarantine periods... you have to get that written into the contract. It all depends on how bad they need people.

----------


## Mendip

> Hey buddy are you taking advantage of getting out of your room for the hour a day? What have you been doing? Although I think its possible you are simply enjoying your balcony and birds.


I haven't needed to yet mate, and now I'm out the day after tomorrow.

I've done a load of admin, movies, book, shopping and bird watching! The only option is to sit alone in the garden, so the balcony has been fine. 

These last two days will drag... I've passed the second PCR test and can't see why they don't just let me go now...

----------


## Stumpy

Almost home free but you know the bars being open may or may not be a good thing in BKK.  The last thing you want to do is contract Covid.  I have a very close buddy in the states who contracted it recently.  Healthy guy, active. In shape, doesn't smoke and he has been down for the count.  In and out of the hospital with respiratory issues, got better for a few days, then took a turn.  It's been a month now. He has been self isolated from his wife sleeping in his motorhome. He is starting to feel normal but a bit foggy in thinking.  

Anyway. Take care of yourself Mendy. Just because you don't have it doesn't mean others in BKK don't.

----------


## Mendip

After the maid finished hanging out the washing I watched a while longer and this car came out of the workshop behind her house.

Any ideas? 

It should go in the 'What Car' thread I guess, but as this thread has only a few days left to run...

----------


## Mendip

> Almost home free but you know the bars being open may or may not be a good thing in BKK.  The last thing you want to do is contract Covid.  I have a very close buddy in the states who contracted it recently.  Healthy guy, active. In shape, doesn't smoke and he has been down for the count.  In and out of the hospital with respiratory issues, got better for a few days, then took a turn.  It's been a month now. He has been self isolated from his wife sleeping in his motorhome. He is starting to feel normal but a bit foggy in thinking.  
> 
> Anyway. Take care of yourself Mendy. Just because you don't have it doesn't mean others in BKK don't.



Yeah, I appreciate that mate.

These days my drinking is done in the afternoons... I'm back in the hotel by 6 or 7, before it gets busy.

I think something that is often forgotten... it's not just the inconvenience of Covid... but it is a very real disease that has killed an awful lot or people and left many with life changing consequences. I won't risk taking that back to my family... as far as is possible.

----------


## OhOh

> can't see why they don't just let me go now...


Oh, Thailand has a way of suddenly asking/demanding just one more piece of paper/one more stepto to take before .....

 :tieme: 

You'll be fine.

What time is youe exit taxi booked for?

----------


## cyrille

> I won't risk taking that back to my family... as far as is possible.


Well, that would be true if you were heading straight home.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Not much washing to do thankfully... I've made two T-shirts last throughout and will change boxers yet again today and give it all a good soak. Looks like it'll be another good drying day today.


I was talking about the young lass hanging out the washing at 10:00am every morning, ya filty, pox ridden soap dodger. but go and have a wash also. 




> I hope they give the pipes a good clean before pouring my pint of cider to go with my full English breakfast!


On that note, I think best to avoid draft beers/ciders and stick with bottles for the first few days/weeks. because you know they wont clean them. 




> You forgot the abstinence part, and that bible reading with a pop-quiz on both testaments before being granted release should be made mandatory too.


 ::doglol:: 





> Maybe I'm starting to feel the benefits from this clean living? In fact I'm starting to feel sorry for you guys on the outside... I see you poisoning your bodies with alcohol every night, eating way too much red meat... and all that cholesterol! I think everyone should do a quarantine once a year... it wouldn't do you guys any harm at all.


You've changed.

----------


## Stumpy

> I think something that is often forgotten... it's not just the inconvenience of Covid... but it is a very real disease that has killed an awful lot or people and left many with life changing consequences


Truth right there Mendy.  While we all joke and banter we are all doing it remotely in the safety of our own homes.  I see the US and UK numbers and it's staggering.  Most of the spread is simply due to arrogance of westerners.  

The car in the pic appears to be a 1956 Chevrolet Belair convertible. Rare ride and worth a lot of money. 

As for drinking and red meat.  All in moderation buddy.  No way I am ever giving that up to eat the Makro frozen Bento box specials you ate regardless if I could drop a few kilograms   :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> No way I am ever giving that up to eat the Makro frozen Bento box specials you ate regardless if I could drop a few kilograms


Ditto

 ::doglol::

----------


## Barty

> After the maid finished hanging out the washing I watched a while longer and this car came out of the workshop behind her house.
> 
> Any ideas? 
> 
> It should go in the 'What Car' thread I guess, but as this thread has only a few days left to run...


Bit of a quick guess, but I think it is a 1950 something Ford Fairlane. Kind of unique in it's time in that the convertible hood folds into the boot at the touch of a button. (I can hear the gears in North Americans heads grinding away with my correct use of hood and boot with an American car.)

----------


## Mendip

> You'll be fine.
> 
> What time is youe exit taxi booked for?


Nothing booked up yet, but reckon I'll be away 9ish. I'm only heading a few miles to another hotel and won't be able to check in too early... so no rush.






> Well, that would be true if you were heading straight home.


Yeah, that is a fair point Cyrille, and I realised the contradiction as I mentioned it. I think everyone should consider what measures they take against Covid, day by day.

I have to stay in Bangkok until Monday morning, of that I have no choice to avoid a trip back down to Bangkok in the next couple of weeks. 

In the meantime I will indulge myself a bit after losing six months of my life to work, without guilt. Along with most others I'll take reasonable precautions against Covid but where does it end? I'm not gonna sit in a hotel room for the weekend.

----------


## Mendip

^^ There's another old car dumped just up from this place, I posted a pic of it a few days ago. I wonder if the garage owner is a bit of a classic car buff?

----------


## Shutree

> I'm only heading a few miles to another hotel and won't be able to check in too early... so no rush.


Good morning Mr. Mendip. Nearly there and nearly hit 100 pages on your thread.

I am sure the next hotel will accept your luggage pre check in, while you head off for a bit of pre-breakfast TLC. I am sure somewhere will be open, although I believe Annie's Soapy Massage, which I have not visited since it moved to Soi 7/1 as Chrome, only opens at noon.

----------


## Stumpy

I just sent a pic to my Pops as the paint scheme and side view threw me off.  My Dad says it's 55 or 56 Oldsmobile but can't tell unless he saw clean shot of front grill.  

I was wrong on 56 Belair.

----------


## Mendip

^ Well this is today taken care of... I'll sit on the balcony with phone at the ready and await it's return. Hopefully he will reverse back in.


^^ Morning Shutree, and thanks for the tip!

Btw, with the 'U' and ''I right next to each other on the keyboard... the number of times I've first typed 'Shitree' before catching the typo! Apologies in advance if ever I miss it during the proof read.

----------


## Stumpy

> In the meantime I will indulge myself a bit after losing six months of my life to work, without guilt. Along with most others I'll take reasonable precautions against Covid but where does it end? I'm not gonna sit in a hotel room for the weekend.


Absolutely agree. No way I could just leg out 3 more days in a different hotel without going out.  I know I'd probably hit Arlos and a whiskey bar.  Then pick me up a top shelf Scotch or Bourbon for a few knocks back in the room. My wife just read that some HiSo movies star was diagnosed with Covid and spread it to 20 or 30 in BKK.  Being we will travel down in a few weeks for my WP renewal my wife is being extremely cautious on the hotels we will stay at.  

For me this always seemed so far away until my close friend contracted it.  Now it seems more real to me and I do not want to be exposed to it, not only for me but my wife Niece and FIL. 

Definitely strange times

----------


## Shutree

> Btw, with the 'U' and ''I right next to each other on the keyboard... the number of times I've first typed 'Shitree' before catching the typo!


Now you post it, it is almost certain that some unimaginative members of TD will latch on to it. Maybe we should run a book on who will be the first giant wit.  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> Now it seems more real to me and I do not want to be exposed to it, not only for me but my wife Niece and FIL. 
> 
> Definitely strange times


Very true. Joking about soapies aside, I have avoided Bangkok for over a year now and if I were there I'd not be visiting any entertainments. Not for a while yet.

----------


## Stumpy

> Very true. Joking about soapies aside, I have avoided Bangkok for over a year now and if I were there I'd not be visiting any entertainments. Not for a while yet.


Yep. Not even.  Those venues are dangerous for a myriad of reasons.  When I was still visiting the factory in mid June and colleagues would come I was not going out with them as I did not want to be in large crowds of people.  We usually all went to a quiet private bar,  drank ate and talked shit until they closed the place.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Now you post it, it is almost certain that some unimaginative members of TD will latch on to it. Maybe we should run a book on who will be the first giant wit.



No idea...  :Wall:

----------


## Stumpy

Christsakes. I didn't even get to guess and KW was out of the gate.

That's done.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

> That's started. Probably will end up being


 ::doglol::

----------


## Stumpy

Good laughs. I am sitting at the Vet right now.  My 2 big male tortoises had a throw down out in the back forty and the challenger got his ass whooped.  It was about 125lbs of tortoises ramming each other.

Ever watch vets try and administer an IV to a 60lb tortoise who has pulled all its extremities inside his shell?  Took 4 people to get a leg out.  :rofl: 

They couldn't xray him as he is to big and his shell to thick. Looks like he jacked up a rear leg.

----------


## Saint Willy

[QUOTE=JPPR2;4214798]
They couldn't xray him as he is to big and his shell to thick. Looks like he jacked up a rear leg.[/QUOTE

Damn. A friend here has a single large tortise.

----------


## Stumpy

I got 4. Smallest is 44lbs and 23" diameter.  The Champion who is named Monster is 64lbs and 30" in diameter.

----------


## ootai

> He is starting to feel a bit foggy in thinking.


If he is an American I would have thought that IS condition normal!

----------


## Stumpy

> If he is an American I would have thought that IS condition normal!


For many that holds true..

----------


## Mendip

Bladdy hell, you guys have more time for this nonsense than me... and I'm stuck in quarantine.

Anyway, how's yer retinas today JP... it's that time again.  :Smile:

----------


## strigils

> To go offshore in Europe now it's usually a 10 day hotel quarantine before you get on the boat, and then 10 or 14 day home quarantine when you leave (depending where you live)... kind of makes it difficult if you're on a 4 week on/off rota.


Its the same for everyone. Although the UK Govt, rightly imo, is trying to discourage any form of travel now. Certainly the imposition of quarantining both ends pretty much kills travel for anyone aside from those retired with long stints in mind or going off on work.

The bar opening coinciding with your release is one heck of a lucky bit of timing, still after the months you pulled offshore you'll deserve that pint of cider with your full cooked brekkie.

----------


## Stumpy

> Bladdy hell, you guys have more time for this nonsense than me... and I'm stuck in quarantine.
> 
> Anyway, how's yer retinas today JP... it's that time again.


Well there is some upside buddy. You are not butt ass naked with those Jesus slippers on. ... :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

The wrestling match between 4 vet technicians and a 55lb Sulcata tortoise. The tech in the Yellow made a mistake of getting their hands in between the shell and the spurs on his legs and when he yanked them back, the tech got a wicked wake up call and sat down in pain.  :smiley laughing: .

----------


## David48atTD

The Bars ...




> You're in luck, they open this Saturday.


*Mendip*'s journey ...

 :Beerchug:  --->   :party43:  --->  :Drunk:  ---> :sexy:  --->  :bananasexy:  --- >  --->  --- >  --->  --->  --->  --->  --->   ---> , , , ,  --->  --->  --->  --->  --->  --->  --->

----------


## katie23

^Great visuals, david. But... you forgot the gardener!  :Very Happy: 

@JP - that is one big torty! What is the average age of that species? Will they outlive you & do you have a provision in your will as to who inherits them?  :Smile:  And will we be seeing you taking walks with them? (There's an old Japanese man who takes regular walks with his pet torty in Tokyo.)

Japanese man & torty




USA woman who's had her pet torty for 56 years

----------


## Stumpy

> @JP - that is one big torty! What is the average age of that species? Will they outlive you & do you have a provision in your will as to who inherits them?  And will we be seeing you taking walks with them? (There's an old Japanese man who takes regular walks with his pet torty in Tokyo.


The Tortoise he has is same species we have and "Monster" as I call him here is about the same size. Monster will following me around the yard a bit but I usually walk to fast...imagine that.  :Smile: 

They live to be 75 years old or older. They can get to 100lbs and 35" shell diameter.  Ours will be donated to the local zoo in CM once I cannot manage them or they start to destroy the house.  Our female just laid 33 more eggs.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ My entire life in emojis David... there must be more to me than that?


I've settled in to the routine of an 'American' breakfast every morning and they've started giving me these kind of bun/pancakey things.

You would have thought that's a bonus, but they hide these b@stard little currants in them so I have to break them apart every morning to dig out these disgusting things.



But my loss is Zebby's gain, or Zebby's wife's gain... I don't know which.



I had the knock on the door at 5pm tonight, and much to my astonishment there was food on a plate waiting for me.

Pumpkin soup and a steak with mashed potatoes and veg... it was like a proper meal, my first in nearly two weeks. So they can do it after all. 

I think maybe they're trying to give me some good food for my final couple of days in the hope I forget about the rubbish that has preceded. I can't wait until tomorrow... I asked reception for a bottle of Hong Thong yesterday... but maybe that's too much to hope for.

I was also given a plastic knife to go with the steak, so it looks as though knives are definitely banned for ASQ and it wasn't an oversight.

That is my ASQ top tip of the day... definitely pack a set of cutlery in your hold luggage. I was well prepared enough to have a complete set of Qatar cutlery with me, but if you fly over with a European carrier it'll be plastic all the way. Why are European carriers now so shite?

----------


## OhOh

^A new TD reader has ben reading your thread?

----------


## Stumpy

Almost their buddy.... Clock is a ticking. 

 :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Yeah mate... only one more sunset left.

----------


## Saint Willy

bonus on the steak, but it's a pretty poor verision of a steak.

----------


## nidhogg

Before the second clear test, everything was disposable, and could just be thrown out.  No risk to kitchen staff in washing plates etc would be my guess.

----------


## CalEden

> Bit of a quick guess, but I think it is a 1950 something Ford Fairlane. Kind of unique in it's time in that the convertible hood folds into the boot at the touch of a button. (I can hear the gears in North Americans heads grinding away with my correct use of hood and boot with an American car.)


At first glance thought 56 Chevy too, then saw the tail lights. Chevy 56 tail lights are part of fin. I'm thinking 56 Oldsmobile not Ford for sure.

----------


## Dillinger

Keeping up with the prison feel, with the death row last dinner

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: Appears Mendip has converted to Islam the way that prayer mat on the floor is positioned.

Enjoy Nana soi 5 Mendip!

Go Mendip!
Go Mendip!

 :bananaman:

----------


## strigils

I hope we don't see a couple of suspiciously small quail sans feather and meat in the morning, poor Zebby and Mrs Zebby.

----------


## David48atTD

> ^^^ My entire life in emojis David... there must be more to me than that?


Nah Mate ... it's your lot in life  :Smile: 

Well, TBH, it's just 2 days in your life ... last night in Bangkok and a happy reunion with your Family the next day.







> 


^  Mate, can't you see more in that image?

Maybe a young Coco's face smiling back at you ...

----------


## Saint Willy

freedo​m!

----------


## Saint Willy

Mendip today!

----------


## Mendip

^ It's tomorrow mate!

Today I'm just wandering around trying to find things to do... and it's not even 6am. I've been doing this since 3:30...

I guess I'm getting excited!

----------


## strigils

plan Mendip?

Quite frankly don't give these reprobates date, time, locations but for the voyeurs, well a dribble.

----------


## katie23

GM mendip. Enjoy your last day of quarantine!

If I were to do any quarantine, I'd choose a room with a balcony too, for my sanity. 

GM to all as well.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I spent most of yesterday on the balcony waiting for that damn car to return... but it didn't. Maybe it belonged to a customer... I think the place is a body shop?

But apart from getting sunburnt shoulders I also almost got to my goal of spotting 20 different bird species from my balcony.

I've started... so I'll finish!

Species 12: Yellow-vented bulbul (_Pycnonotus goiavier_)




Species 13: Common iora (_Aegithina tiphia_)




Species 14: Oriental magpie robin (_Copsychus saularis_)






Species 15: Black collared starling (_Gracupica nigricollis_)




Species 16: Mystery bird with white head




Species 17: Egret... don't know which one.




Species 18: Stork... don't know which one.




Species 19: Asian koel (_Eudynamys scolopaceus_)

I've been continually hearing this bird's distinctive call for two weeks now and finally saw it yesterday... there won't be many in Thailand who haven't heard it. It is a member of the cuckoo family and probably lays it's eggs in the nests of the local crows. This one is a male.






One to go!

----------


## ootai

> Appears Mendip has converted to Islam the way that prayer mat on the floor is positioned.


However it would do him no good as the mat is not facing Mecca it is facing south.
I think he needs a bit more religious tuition before he could be considered full converted.

----------


## ootai

> ^ It's tomorrow mate!
> 
> Today I'm just wandering around trying to find things to do... and it's not even 6am. I've been doing this since 3:30...
> 
> I guess I'm getting excited!



No sleep for you tonight and then too tired to walk to the place for a full English breakfast.

----------


## Joe 90

> he needs a bit more religious tuition before he could be considered full converted.


He's got the sandals  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

^Lol about the Jesus sandals.

All we need is Terry slagging the Poms about their socks & sandals.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Mendip

For the last time... they're not Jesus sandals, they're proper fashion sandals.

And I don't wear socks with them.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> No sleep for you tonight and then too tired to walk to the place for a full English breakfast.


Yeah, I'll be knackered later.

I was even up before the maid today... or does that sound a bit stalkerish?

----------


## Saint Willy

> trying to find things to do

----------


## Mendip

^ I already did that two days ago.

----------


## Stumpy

Well Happy Friday.  You are on done.  You made it.  Last day.  Bags are packed. Nice clothes on sporting those proper fashion Jesus slippers. :Smile: . 

Glad you are Covid free.  Be careful out and about buddy.  Get home safe to your daughter and whip your gardener into shape.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ It's tomorrow mate!


Whoops, sorry. Getting a bit excited. Tomorrow, just don't race outside so fast that you trip, break your ankle and end up in hoispital for another 6 weeks unable to move!




> Lol about the Jesus sandals.
> 
> All we need is Terry slagging the Poms about their socks & sandals.


He's got a point, it's bred into them Poms to wear sandals and socks. fookin disgrace




> And I don't wear socks with them.


Not your manky socks, they'd not get over your feet anymore! 





> For the last time... they're proper Jesus sandals


yes, we know. And it's creepy that you were them while but naked!





> ^ I already did that two days ago.


You're supposed to do it everyday! not just once in a fortnight! Besides, wasnt you moaning that you needed somthing to do?

----------


## Mendip

^^ Morning JP... I'm way ahead of myself.

Did my last minute smalls washing yesterday, bag packed and repacked and just have to add my wash bag tomorrow morning. This week's boxers can go in the bin.

Clean shirt and jeans hanging up in the wardrobe... fashion footwear waiting by the door.

I'm even going to have a practice shower today.

It's all about the planning!

----------


## Joe 90

> Clean shirt and jeans hanging up in the wardrobe... fashion footwear waiting by the door.


Two weeks at Hotel Cortez(American Horror story)is almost at an end.

It's been emotional. 

Btw you'll be a reet hansum man gliding around Sukhumvit in your holy dancing shoes and no tourists. :Smile: 

Soi 8 and 6 could benefit from a wander and some Jesus Creeper leather :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

Jesus wept

----------


## Mendip

^ And this is the thing.

Even after 15 years in Thailand I still have some self respect and won't wear Crocs.

Around the garden and out and about locally I wear those rubber things that are like flip-flops but with the bit that goes over the top of your foot... I never know what the correct name is. 

But when I'm out and about in Bangkok I want to go a bit smarter, but not wear full-on shoes because it's too hot. When I go to work I wear kind of light weight walking shoes because they look OK with jeans and for a couple of days are OK in Bangkok and are good for Europe. And wear these for any length of time in the tropics and they hum to high heaven.

So what's the solution? A smart pair of fashionable men's closed-toe sandals are perfect I reckon.

----------


## Headworx



----------


## Dillinger

First port of call... the Robin Hood... dressed  like  Friar  Tuck.

----------


## Saint Willy

Needs a pea one!

----------


## Headworx

> First port of call... the Robin Hood... dressed like Friar Tuck.


Lolitas opens at 09:00, maybe a cup of coffee there first to ease back into gen-pop  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> Did my last minute smalls washing yesterday


Must resist, must resist




^  I bet the .gif changes ... NEV!

----------


## Mendip

FFS... it's a smart pair of bladdy sandals. There's nothing 'Friar Tuck' about it. I give up with you people.

And I'm going out for a nice Full English, nothing more.

And I know one thing... Dill won't be wearing sandals any time soon!  :Smile: 

And I know something else as well... I bladdy hope Armstrong was right about bars opening tomorrow cos I've heard it no-where else.

I'm all excited now.

----------


## aging one

Research this Mendip,


*Bangkok schools get OK to reopen; restaurants to serve alcohol again*

By Coconuts BangkokJan 27, 2021 | 12:16pm Bangkok time






Health officials today gave a green light for restaurants to serve until 11pm and offer alcohol to diners and teased the reopening of public schools.
Bangkoks restaurants should soon be able to serve booze again and remain open another two hours past the current 9pm closing time, though pubs, bars, karaoke parlors and similar establishments must still remain closed, COVID-19 task force spokesperson Taweesilp Wisanuyothin announced in his daily briefing just before noon.

----------


## Dillinger

> I'm going out for a nice Full English, nothing more.


You havent seen your family for 6 months, youve just done 2 weeks in solitary, now you are trying to tell us you are gonna spend 3 days in Bangkok on your own, away from your family and dogs who must have missed you like crazy, just to savour the paltry delights of faux British pubs?

Yeah right, pull the other one, cakey... there's bells, not a fucking gay leather sandal on it :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

> ^ I bet the .gif changes ... NEV!


unique names and not generic

----------


## Mendip

^^ You can't get a decent full English in Korat mate.

Nor a pint of draught cider for that matter.


^^^ So AO... it seems the health officials have given the go ahead for restaurants to open up and it goes for cabinet approval today. The suspense is killing me.

I'm eager to help stimulate the economy.

I remember last March when I was in Bangkok, bars were closed but the Robin Hood was classed as a restaurant so breakfast with cider was no problem.

I used to enjoy a breakfast in Fitzgeralds... I reckon the venue is better as it's open fronted and you can watch it all going on outside, but the food wasn't as good.

Soi 4 is too noisy for me these days, so fingers crossed the Robin Hood will be serving.

----------


## Dillinger

> You can't get a decent full English in Korat mate.


You can get all the ingredients in Villamarket and do a much better full English than the Robin Hood or Hanrahans.
You could also  buy a shitload of Thatchers Gold to take up with you.






> you can watch it all going on outside


 :deadhorsebig:

----------


## lom

> you can watch it all going on outside


Just watch out so you don't get a freelancer sneaking in joining you at the table!!!!

----------


## ootai

> For the last time... they're not Jesus sandals, they're proper fashion sandals.
> 
> And I don't wear socks with them.



Jesus Christ they don't look like sandals to me and in my estimation they are nowhere near "fashion" footwear of any kind.
So when you are out and about tomorrow morning keep and eye open for the fashion police as you may have to spend more time in confinement for crimes against fashion.

As for me I could never wear sandals until i came here to live and it gets too hot for shoes and too sweaty for flip flops i.e. thongs is Aussie speak.

----------


## Stumpy

I am crying laughing. This is good stuff. Mendy is wound up like a hamster on a wheel in cage and is running like mad but going nowhere.....Yet.

As for the sandals. I never understood men and "sandals" and the Poms wearing socks with them, especially out in public like it can be fashionable.  FFS!! There is absolutely nothing fashionable about them. Crocs are just flat ugly nasty so GREAT job Mendy on fending that off.... :smiley laughing: 

I am going to Q up a Fat NY striploin steak and some big Tiger Prawns for dinner and this will include some drinking to celebrate your marathon finish. Nice Job.

----------


## Headworx

> . I never understood men and "sandals" and the Poms wearing socks with them, especially out in public like it can be fashionable. FFS!!


To complete this visual disaster, their legs will be as white as snow and the socks will be black  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> fashion sandals.


Those are two words you won't see together very often.  :Smile: 

Top of the morning to you, Mendip.

----------


## Saint Willy

> , though pubs, bars, karaoke parlors and similar establishments must still remain* closed,*


 ::doglol::

----------


## Saint Willy

Your Personal Jesus Sandals.

----------


## Dillinger

> Lolitas opens at 09:00, maybe a cup of coffee there first to ease back into gen-pop


Yeah :Smile:  Then knocking on the door of Demonia and a little stroll round to the Bier Garden where he'll fit in with those sandals :Smile: 

I reckon he's been told to empty himself before coming back and shaming the family name in front of the gossiping gardener again :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

Lovely Noi was at Nana Soi 4
When a big lad rolled through the door
His shirt had blue stripes
She cleaned out his pipes
10 gallons was spat on the floor.

----------


## Edmond

Not long to go now Mendy. Su Su  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

Bad news on the beer front. They have decided to keep the alcohol ban for BKK.  The Old English on Thong Lor does a fry up and a cracking cool, fizzy cup of tea though.

----------


## Stumpy

> To complete this visual disaster, their legs will be as white as snow and the socks will be black


Yes and in some cases when they are really on their game they wear god awful pink or teal colored bermuda shorts to go with fashionable sandals. 




> Those are two words you won't see together very often.


Its actually 3 words according to Mendy he said "Proper Fashionable Sandals".

 :rofl:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Yes and in some cases when they are really on their game they wear god awful pink or teal colored bermuda shorts to go with fashionable sandals.


or Cargo pants in army disrupitve pattern.

----------


## Mendip

> Bad news on the beer front. They have decided to keep the alcohol ban for BKK.  The Old English on Thong Lor does a fry up and a cracking cool, fizzy cup of tea though.



Noooo... I had it all worked out.

Thanks for the heads up... The Old English is only a taxi ride away.

I love a cup of tea.

But sorry, that Green is rescinded Armstrong!  :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

Wow, so Aussies are tacitly conceding that the lack of dental hygiene and cleanliness jabs belong to yesteryear. 

Now they're just kidding themselves that Brits are more likely to wear cargo/bermuda shorts and sandals than any other nationality on earth.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Wow, so Aussies are tacitly conceding that the lack of dental hygiene and cleanliness jabs belong to yesteryear.


That's a ranicd piece of bait you've dropped thtere

----------


## Mendip

> Lovely Noi was at Nana Soi 4
> When a big lad rolled through the door
> His shirt had blue stripes
> She cleaned out his pipes
> 10 gallons was spat on the floor.


At least it rhymes I guess. Not much else going for it.


And I despair of the rest of you fukkers.

I'm not wearing socks (although I've been ridiculed for wearing socks these last few months), I'm not wearing pink camouflage cargo pants and I'm not wearing any other weird stuff.

A short-sleeved summer shirt, a pair of lightweight jeans and a pair of expensive modern sandals. And they're not Jesus boots. I mean WTF is wrong with that? They're just ventilated shoes, FFS. What am I supposed to wear... my offshore safety boots?

WTF do you people wear on your feet in the hot weather?

Maybe it's just that I'm one of the youngest on here? 

And I'm not going to blow job bars either. I just wanted some nice food and a couple of pints of cider.

Get a grip guys.  :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

> At least it rhymes I guess. Not much else going for it.


It's taken him two months.  :Very Happy: 

It's...an improvement, I guess.

----------


## David48atTD

> Just watch out and make sure you get a freelancer sneaking in joining you at the table!!!!



FTFY  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> At least it rhymes I guess.


it does but with a flow like staccato

----------


## aging one

> a cracking cool, fizzy cup of tea though.


Is that code? :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

Now they are modern sandals.  That's a bit more understandable than Proper.  

I will say for me I wear ASICS tennis shoes or my Van's with shorts or jeans.  But I grew up a west coast California surfer and Van's or Cons were basic attire.  When we hung at the beach and at parties we wear Flip Flops as they go with anything.  Those Jesus slippers actually look like they are for the old guy.  

I am currently at Central Lampang wearing my O'Neil  shorts and a T shirt and ASICS no socks.   :smiley laughing:

----------


## cyrille

> I am currently at Central Lampang wearing my O'Neil shorts and a T shirt and ASICS no socks.


Now I'll admit, a Brit would never post that.

Well, not a heterosexual one, anyway.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Mendip

^ Exactly Cyrille...  :Smile: 

I mean JP, is it fancy dress?

I had to Google 'ASICS'... so you're wearing trainers then?

I've got trainers in the bag, but I'm not going to the gym. I'm going out socialising in the big city mate.

----------


## armstrong

I've got about 5 t shirts all the same design just slightly different colours that I rotate.

----------


## Iceman123

> I've got about 5 t shirts all the same design just slightly different colours that I rotate


How very interesting, perhaps next you could regale us with a summary of your collection of used bus tickets. :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> And I'm not going to blow job bars either.


Yeah nobody ever believes me when I say I'll be in Bangkok for a few nights but not going near them either  :Sad:

----------


## ootai

Mendip here's what I wear AND call sandals, not "proper" sandals, not "fashionable" sandals, not "closed" toe sandals just ordinary every day sandals.
Main issue I have here in Thailand is that they don't usually have my size in Tesco for some reason they only get in up to size 44 (fuckin Americans size 44 indeed) while doesn't the world have one size so there is no confusion?

And Armstrong before you carry on like you did in post #2383 about JPPR2's ankles yes that is a vein running over my ankle same as JPPR2's.

----------


## aging one

> they don't usually have my size in Tesco for some reason they only get in up to size 44 (fuckin Americans size 44 indeed) while doesn't the world have one size so there is no confusion?


there is no size 44 in America if there was your feet would be a meter long.. :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> there is no size 44 in America if there was your feet would be a meter long..


Yes you are right the 44 is the European size in US sizes I am never sure whether to get an 11 or 12.
I stuffed up, sorry!!!!

----------


## Dillinger

> A short-sleeved summer shirt,


Read... a multi coloured Southern Woofter's Songkran Shirt.

----------


## strigils

> You can get all the ingredients in Villamarket and do a much better full English than the Robin Hood or Hanrahans.


Has Mendip been made aware of the perils of entering establishments quoted with the makings of a full English in tow?

----------


## Dillinger

You been fuckin gardening in those?

Get KW to lend you his nail clippers and  bunion cream

----------


## Edmond

^ And stop waxing yer legs! 

That's both Ootai and JPPR2 removed from the TD men's list. 





> And I'm not going to blow job bars either. I just wanted some nice food and a couple of pints of cider.


Perhaps in a nice, proper beer garden.


With a fit Thai gardener.



You're fooling no one Mendy.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip here's what I wear AND call sandals, not "proper" sandals, not "fashionable" sandals, not "closed" toe sandals just ordinary every day sandals


Well ootai, you can't call them closed- toe, cos they're not, and you certainly can't call them fashionable.

 You should call them Jesus boots, because THOSE are Jesus boots.

I can't believe you people can't see the difference.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I'm going out socialising in the big city mate.


In Jesus sandals. 






> and ASICS no socks.



Euw. They get smelly fast. Get some invisible socks, please.

----------


## strigils

> You should call them Jesus boots, because THOSE are Jesus boots.


Jesus would have been in clover with velcro rather than leather thongs

----------


## Stumpy

> Now I'll admit, a Brit would never post that.


Well I should explain the Central Lampang a bit Cyrille. I was there at Tops to pick up a 12 pack of these to celebrate Mendy's release back to society.  :smiley laughing: 






> I mean JP, is it fancy dress?


No I was dressed what we call "Street Casual" in the states. Pretty typical Cali dress. But in fairness I don't expect European folks to understand West Coast California dress attire.  Growing up near the ocean surfing most of my life there is a certain way people dress casual. Jesus Sandals is not one of them. But we all dress to what we like and are comfortable with. Would I wear those sandals like Mendy's....No. Would I wear what Ootai posted...No. Would I wear a panama hat to the beach. No. Would I wear teal or pink bermuda shorts...No.  :Smile: . But that's me.  

Its all good Mendy, go out sportin them sandals with no socks with pride. 

This is what most tend to wear where I come from. 



 Beer 2 done. NY Steak relaxing. Its Friday and Payday and bonus day....

----------


## ootai

> You been fuckin gardening in those?
> 
> Get KW to lend you his nail clippers and  bunion cream


I do just about everything in them but not gardening yet. You sound like my missus (whinging) about why don't you clean your sandals.
As for the rest no bunions and nails don't need clipping yet besides I have to work too hard to do it i.e. reaching around the bump.





> ^ And stop waxing yer legs! 
> 
> That's both Ootai and JPPR2 removed from the TD men's list.


I have plenty of hair on my legs just not black hair like some of the gorillas and bears (Mendip) on here.





> Well ootai, you can't call them closed- toe, cos they're not, and you certainly can't call them fashionable.
> 
>  You should call them Jesus boots, because THOSE are Jesus boots.
> 
> I can't believe you people can't see the difference.



They are real sandals ya fukkin dork and I can't understand how you DON'T see the difference, enough said.

----------


## Saint Willy

> No I was dressed what we call "Street Casual" in the states. Pretty typical Cali dress. But in fairness I don't expect European folks to understand West Coast California dress attire.  Growing up near the ocean surfing most of my life there is a certain way people dress casual. Jesus Sandals is not one of them. But we all dress to what we like and are comfortable with. Would I wear those sandals like Mendy's....No. Would I wear what Ootai posted...No. Would I wear a panama hat to the beach. No. Would I wear teal or pink bermuda shorts...No. . But that's me.  
> 
> Its all good Mendy, go out sportin them sandals with no socks with pride. 
> 
> This is what most tend to wear where I come from. 
> 
> 
> 
>  Beer 2 done. NY Steak relaxing. Its Friday and Payday and bonus day....


Now, I could wear them.

----------


## Stumpy

> They get smelly fast. Get some invisible socks, please.


I have those for long days. This was a quick run and this will make you laugh. My feet never stink. You'll say YEAH SURE!. My wife's says it is the weirdest thing she has ever seen. They seldom sweat either. I actually read up about it.

----------


## aging one

One more time JP, we wear the same sandals. Color and size of sole exactly the same. California beach boys I guess.

----------


## Stumpy

> ^ And stop waxing yer legs!
> 
> That's both Ootai and JPPR2 removed from the TD men's list.


 :smiley laughing:  :smiley laughing:

----------


## ootai

> I have those for long days. This was a quick run and this will make you laugh. My feet never stink. You'll say YEAH SURE!. My wife's says it is the weirdest thing she has ever seen. They seldom sweat either. I actually read up about it.


Yeah yeah we heard it all before and your shit don't stink either!
You must have Covid and lost your sense of smell.

As for KW wearing you fancy thongs I'm sure if he did he would get cracked heels as there is not much cushion there to support a heavy load.

And JP why wouldn't you wear sandals like mine are you a snob? Fork me footwear is meant to be functional and comfortable not a fukkin fashion statement.
My sandals stop me coming into contact with the chicken shit so I'm happy.
Do I giver a fuk about what they look like, not really.

----------


## Stumpy

> One more time JP, we wear the same sandals. Color and size of sole exactly the same. California beach boys I guess.


Exactly. Casual. Can wear with jeans and a nice shirt to a BBQ or out to the beach bar. Can wear with shorts at the beach or out on the wakeboard boat . We always called them Flippys or Flip Flops. Never sandals. Even my wife calls them flippys.

----------


## Mendip

> They are real sandals ya fukkin dork and I can't understand how you DON'T see the difference, enough said.


Yeah fair enough, I'll bow to your real fashion sense, whatever you Aussies call those velcro things

But I tell you one thing, I'm not walking round Sukhumvit looking like I just found my footwear floating in a klong.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Exactly. Casual. Can wear with jeans and a nice shirt to a BBQ or out to the beach bar. Can wear with shorts at the beach or out on the wakeboard boat . We always called them Flippys or Flip Flops. Never sandals. Even my wife calls them flippys.



Well, I guess, shock of shocks, different counties call them different things!  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> And JP why wouldn't you wear sandals like mine are you a snob? Fork me footwear is meant to be functional and comfortable not a fukkin fashion statement.


Not according to Mendy. He has Proper Fashion Sandals.  :smiley laughing: .

I gotta be honest here Ootai. In my days, that style footwear you posted were either worn by hippies or old folks. Again growing up around the beach you need to be able to kick them off and go. What you wear is a full stop, pull back the velcro straps. when you get dirt in them you gotta take them off to clean them. Flippy's ya just snap the heal and BAM clean... And if it matters. I have a pair that has a bottle opener on the bottom which my wife thinks is absolutely hilarious but admitted when I open a bottle for her said, "You guys think of anything to drink...."

I have always worn Reef or Volcom. That said, I would never work around my house in any sort of open toed anything. Its shoes or nothing.  :Smile: 

Be right back. I need down me a boiler maker and wax my legs.... :rofl:

----------


## Stumpy

> But I tell you one thing, I'm not walking round Sukhumvit looking like I just found my footwear floating in a klong.


 :rofl:   :rofl:

----------


## strigils

Has this thread turning into a sandal snob off.  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> different counties call them different things!


Yeah these are Thongs, but don't call them that around Americans  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):  Also known as Surfer Joe's in some circles, and as equally at home being worn with a a pair of board shorts or a tuxedo just like Rolex sports watches.

----------


## Stumpy

> Has this thread turning into a sandal snob off.


We are trying to inform Mendy that his Proper Fashion Sandals are Jesus Slippers. Ootai showed us his hippie sandals.

----------


## cyrille

> Now, I could wear them.


Would you wear them on the uneven pavements of bkk though?

----------


## strigils

> We are trying to inform Mendy that his Proper Fashion Sandals are Jesus Slippers.


I fear he is too set in his ways to change to the California look, i think the front of his sandals will open up once the wolf pack have had a chance to operate on them.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> I fear he is too set in his ways to change to the California look, i think the front of his sandals will open up once the wolf pack have had a chance to operate on them.


Yeah once his dogs get hot and start wanting out, the front of them will be open toe in no time.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Would you wear them on the uneven pavements of bkk though?


I used to when I lived there. But I have to be honest, in BKK I wore my Asics more because walking long ways in any flippy or sandal in BKK is hell.

----------


## Stumpy

Hey Mendy...you pacing at the door looking out the peep hole yet?

----------


## ootai

> Yeah these are Thongs, but don't call them that around Americans  Also known as Surfer Joe's in some circles, and as equally at home being worn with a a pair of board shorts or a tuxedo just like Rolex sports watches. 
> 
> Attachment 64024


I agree bloody fabulous.




> Not according to Mendy. He has Proper Fashion Sandals. .
> 
> I gotta be honest here Ootai. In my days, that style footwear you posted were either worn by hippies or old folks. Again growing up around the beach you need to be able to kick them off and go. What you wear is a full stop, pull back the velcro straps. when you get dirt in them you gotta take them off to clean them. Flippy's ya just snap the heal and BAM clean...  That said, I would never work around my house in any sort of open toed anything. Its shoes or nothing. 
> 
> Be right back. I need down me a boiler maker and wax my legs....



JPPR2
See picture above, as that is what I would wear if I could, unfortunately my last pair I bought back from Aussie wore out and I couldn't get anything I really liked so I had to settle for the sandals I showed.  Just for Mendip they came from Tesco not some fukkin klong as we don't have them (klongs) out here in the dry parts of Isaan.

And I agree 100% with what you say about them (my current sandals) being a pain in the arse because they don't slip on and off.

As for working in open toed footwear so far no damage done and when I am working in the garden or out in the paddies I wear reef dive boots as they handle the wet and mud really well. I do usually wear gloves though as been quite a bit of pain to the fingers.

----------


## Shutree

> when I am working in the garden or out in the paddies I wear reef dive boots as they handle the wet and mud really well.


I don't know why I hadn't thought about that. I had to stop diving and still have some boots' packed in a friend's house in Taiwan along with a lot of other stuff. I was planning to go there a year ago to sort it all out and arrange shipping a few things here. Then all travel plans were scrapped. If I ever get there I'll be sure to put the dive boots into the box for shipping.

----------


## Stumpy

So I am floating in my pool after 15 laps with an ice cold beer.  Water 80.  Sunny.  Funny. Wife, Niece and FIL would rather eat. I am the only one who uses the pool.  I just set up my BT speaker and blasting my music. Steely Dan Pretzel Logic.

Pics of my waxed legs later for Edmond

----------


## Mendip

I've gotta say, I'm getting a bit nervous about mentioning anything about anything just now...

But I think this will be safe ground...

From my time in Aussie I got used to people calling 'thongs' what I would normally call 'flip-flops', and it still makes me chuckle when my wife (naturalised Aussie) asks if I've seen her thongs. If I get my Aussie translating head on, then I think Coco may have run off with her flip-flops. If I have my English head on, then I'm hoping I haven't dressed up Dan again and forgotten about it. 

Rest assured, I will not be walking down Sukhumvit wearing thongs... not Aussie thongs and definitely not an English thong.

I can't wear flip-flops... I always seem to get a really sore patch where that bit goes between your toes. I tend to wear the ones with a strap across the top of your foot, but they can be a nightmare in the garden, especially when it's wet and your foot can slip through. I twisted an ankle once due to that.

Now, for more active jobs in the garden, especially in the rain, I tend to wear these sports sandals. But I'm not even going to attempt to say what a sports sandal is. I'm just not going there.

----------


## Headworx

^They're all just teasing you mate, those Jesus boots you've got are just fine.

----------


## aging one

> I tend to wear these sports sandals. But I'm not even going to attempt to say what a sports sandal is. I'm just not going there.


What the hell I will. I have a feeling its a variation on your German closed toed leather sandals. Guessing something like this.

----------


## ootai

> Now, for more active jobs in the garden, especially in the rain, I tend to wear these sports sandals. But I'm not even going to attempt to say what a sports sandal is. I'm just not going there.


Come on I am genuinely interested in what they are as I might get some if I think they are OK.  Just as Shutree was made to think about his dive boots when I mentioned them I am always looking for something better to use around the place. Anything cheap is good for me as everything gets wrecked very quickly here with me.





> ^They're all just teasing you mate, those Jesus boots you've got are just fine.


You might think so but the rest of us were really trying to prevent Mendip from embarrassing himself in public what does at home with the gardener is his business but in public in Bangkok as Farangs have a standard to try and upkeep you know.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yeah, something like that, but a bit lighter weight. I wear them on the boats outside of PPE areas as you have to have closed toe and a back on your footwear.

They're also great for walking across rocky areas on beaches and stuff like that. 

In fact I've just remembered there will be a pic of them somewhere on this very thread from my helideck walks back in August!

----------


## Headworx

Come in Ant, we all know you're lurking and just dying to add _Jandals_ to the mix  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

> those Jesus boots you've got


Jesus Creepers they are known as in UK or on holiday, rather :Smile: 

There's also  Brothel Creepers which the deviant will probably slip into in the evenings :Smile:

----------


## katie23

@mendip - I think your "sports sandals" are like the Merrell mesh shoes? I've seen them in the mall (I use Merrell trail/ hike shoes).

Btw, I approve of Merrell-type mesh shoes, JP's flip flops & ootai's sandals. Sorry, not the Jesus sandals (but may God/ the gods bless you when you wear them).  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

Now (above)

Could be (below)
*Mendip*, get your plates of meat in these bad boys ...

----------


## Stumpy

OK,
So took a few laps as mentioned. Now in my float tube with phone and beer holder






I cant wait to drop this on the grill



2.5 inch thick Grass fed Striploin aged 225 days.

I am 3 beers and 2 boiler makers in. I am so happy Mendy gives me a reason to drink and eat like a mad man.

BBQ pics soon

----------


## Saint Willy

No Jesus sandals here. 

Essential Shoes For Men: 6 Shoes Every Guy Needs & The Nice To Haves

If I wear shorts I normally wear a decent pair of boat shoes.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Enjoy your beer JP! I thought you'd finally grown some hairs on your legs there but it was water droplets.

Careful you don't drown, by the way.





> @mendip - I think your "sports sandals" are like the Merrell mesh shoes? I've seen them in the mall (I use Merrell trail/ hike shoes).
> 
> Btw, I approve of Merrell-type mesh shoes, JP's flip flops & ootai's sandals. Sorry, not the Jesus sandals (but may God/ the gods bless you when you wear them).



You as well Katie... I'm starting doubt everything I've ever thought about fashion. 

But bollox to everyone, I'm wearing my sandals and that's it.

And yeah Katie, the sports sandals are Merrell... they're great. Although I do worry stating such a definite footwear opinion on this thread.


Tonight was my last ASQ meal. My next meal should be a full English, with or without cider... we shall see.

I had another plate tonight but it would have taken more than some proper crockery to improve this meal. I just want to leave now, but least I've got a bun for later.



Zebby came out so we could enjoy our last sunset together.



 I haven't really discovered if this bird is a he or a she, but I don't really care to be honest. Might sound a bit weird but I'll miss him/her a bit.

I have a feeling it's mutual. Ain't he/she lovely!

----------


## bsnub

> I'm starting doubt everything I've ever thought about fashion.


That would be a good thing.  :Smile: 




> Might sound a bit weird but I'll miss him/her a bit.
> 
> I have a feeling it's mutual. Ain't he/she lovely!


You are a bit of an Animal Whisperer Mendy.

----------


## Stumpy

Grill on fire



Perfect.

----------


## Stumpy

Apparently I have some planting to do.

----------


## Mendip

^ Nice looking steak!

We've got those plants at home. They'll form a thick bush before you know it. 

I've used them to block out the water tank and filters/pump near the pool. They're good close to the pool as they don't shed leaves, you just need to thin out the dead palms now and again.

----------


## bsnub

> Perfect.


Yep. I am sure that ootai would disagree.  :Smile: 




> Apparently I have some planting to do.


Wife keeps you busy.

----------


## strigils

> Tonight was my last ASQ meal. My next meal should be a full English, with or without cider... we shall see.


You mean you are not going to avail yourself of the last American Brekkie tomorrow  :Smile:  you could at least get it and leave it out for Zebby and his Mrs.

----------


## Mendip

^ Don't worry, I've saved some rice for them!

----------


## Saint Willy

> I haven't really discovered if this bird is a he or a she, but I don't really care to be honest.







> the last American Brekkie tomorrow  you could at least get it and leave it out for Zebby and his Mrs.


That's because tonight is Zebby's last ASQ meal also...

Grilled Spatchcocked Chicken Recipe | Martha Stewart

----------


## ootai

> Perfect.


So what you call that JP because despite what snubs says I could get right into that.
I would call it medium myself.

----------


## Saint Willy

Medium rare. (Medium is all brown)

----------


## bsnub

> I would call it medium myself.


You are right. That is medium.




> Medium rare. (Medium is all brown)


Wrong. Well done is all brown.

----------


## lom

> Well done is all brown.


and it is nearly there. I'd call it medium destroyed.

----------


## Edmond

> Tonight was my last ASQ meal. My next meal should be a full English, with or without cider... we shall see.


Top stuff! Jeez the 2 weeks went fast. Just about done and dusted.  :tumbs: 





> Zebby came out so we could enjoy our last sunset together.


Aww. Reckon Zebby will miss you too. We had a blackbird that would show up twice a day for its raisins, and ended up coming into the house through the open sliding doors, after knocking on them to inquire where the fuck its raisins are should we forget to be on feeding duty.




> So what you call that


Overdone.



But would still pick it up and rip into it caveman style.

----------


## Headworx

Medium.

----------


## bsnub

> and it is nearly there. I'd call it medium destroyed.





> Overdone.


I was trying to be nice.  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

Mendip
I just want to apologise for causing your thread to go off the rails and become another argument/discussion about steak.
I will say though that that picture Headworx posted above showing a well done steak is bloody horrible and to make it worst some idiot wants to eat it with sauce/ketchup.

Enjoy your breakfast with or without cider.

----------


## Saint Willy

I hope the staff check on Zenby’s well-being before it’s too late!

----------


## David48atTD

It's a surprise that Mendip, given all the time on his hands, did entertain the thought of some hair styling ...



No gel?  but have a razor ... no problem



 ::spin::

----------


## Mendip

^ You know David, I just never thought of it.

And FFS... my legs are no hairier than anyone else's, it's just that my hairs are thicker and longer than other's. It's all down to testosterone.

And anyway... do you ever get caught out after eating spare ribs and there's no serviette? Are you ever out and about and have to sneeze in your hand but have no hanky in your pocket?

No problem for me.

----------


## David48atTD

^   :Smile: 

Mate, there isn't much difference in our hirsute levels ... it's just that mine are blond and aren't as visual as yours.

As for my life experiences ... I've never eaten spare ribs, never been to a BJ Bar (that I know of anyway) and never had a soapie ... think of all the catching up I have to do!

----------


## David48atTD

So ... what day are you today?

Is this the last day or the penultimate day?

Plans for today?

----------


## Mendip

So, it's Day 15, no sleeps to go and I'm outta here in a couple of hours.

It's not even 6am and I've been up for two hours already. Like a kid on Christmas morning.

A last cup of tea on the balcony looking at the view. That's the 05:30am from Hua Mak to Suvarnabhumi going past.



Later I have the penultimate leg of my work commute... a taxi ride down to Sukhumvit. The next and final leg will be the 250km ride up the hill and home to Korat.

While I've got a couple of hours to spare I just wanted to share one more ASQ tip... but really this is a general travel tip that's saved me a number of times. In a normal year I seem to spend an awful lot of time in hotels while transiting to/from work and this has got me out of a sticky situation a number of times.

When I got up I thought I'd had a disaster... I'd finished all the hotel teabags last night. And then I remembered my emergency package. Along with a complete set of airline cutlery, a pen and a bottle opener, I also keep an emergency tea and coffee pack in my wash bag.

Three PG Tips... panic over.

----------


## Mendip

> Plans for today?


 :Smile: 

To go 'off comms' for a while. I've gotta lot to do.

----------


## Loy Toy

Have a safe trip home mate.

It certainly has been an adventure for you.

----------


## Saint Willy

> To go 'off comms' for a while. I've gotta lot to do.


checkout, I'm guessing 45 miunutes. 

Taxi to Sukhumvit 28 minutes. 

Order a Big English & Cider. 1 minute

Eat Big English and Smash 3 pints of cider 3.5 minutes. 

Walk to BlowJob Bar 4 minutes

Do the deed 1.35 mimnutes.

Back to bar for another cider. 5 minutes.

Which gets you to about 10:00am

----------


## Iceman123

Great thread, and good luck Mendy

----------


## Joe 90

> To go 'off comms' for a while. I've gotta lot to do.


Respect!

What happens in Sukhumvit, stays in Sukhumvit! :ourrules: 






























































































 :sexy:  :Bukkake:  :bananasexy:  :rock_dj:  :beer:  :Friday:  :Fest30:  :Drunk:  :Beerchug:  :bananasexy:  :Spankme:  :Spank:  :Banana:

----------


## Mendip

> Do the deed 1.35 mimnutes.


You must be some conversationalist Willy.


And thanks for the good wishes guys...

----------


## nidhogg

Have fun mate.

----------


## Saint Willy

> You must be some conversationalist Willy.


115 seconds of apologising for covering the entire room, curtains, roof, floor and walls in an 6 month brewed explosion of man goo.

----------


## katie23

Happy freedom day, mendip! Woohoo!

Enjoy your BKK walk in your Jesus sandals. God/ gods bless you.  :Very Happy:

----------


## bsnub

Enjoy your freedom Mendy!!!

----------


## Stumpy

Morning Mendy.  Congrats and enjoy.  Great thread and lots of laughs.

Stay safe.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Morning Mendy.  Congrats and enjoy.  Great thread and lots of laughs.
> 
> Stay safe.



Indeed, and remember Mendy, we are laffing with you, not at you. 











































mostly. 

except for the Jesus Sandals. And the food. And the lack of female companionship. And the lack of a jumper. And the French lass faliure. And Mohammad. And your pea fetish. And your tram fetish. And your crusty socks. And your English hygiene standards. or lack of. 

 ::doglol::

----------


## Mendip

^^ Morning JP...

The thread is drawing to a close but I'm not home yet... you won't get rid of me that easy.

To be honest I'm still a bit upset about the sandals but just have to accept it. I can't help being cosmopolitan.

----------


## Saint Willy

> To be honest I'm still a bit upset about the sandals but just have to accept it. I can't help being a weird Jesus sandal wearing hippy freak!


WE know.

----------


## Joe 90

It'll soon be Easter, peace be unto you Mendip :Smile:  :Crucified:

----------


## Mendip

^^ I refute most of them but just have no time to go into it now!

Laughter is the best medicine, and all that...

----------


## baldrick

> in an 6 month brewed explosion of man goo.


you could write a book - " my hands hate me "

----------


## Stumpy

You could start your new found freedom by walking to Central Plaza and buy some proper foot attire and toss those sandals in the trash.  I hate to waste but I don't think if you left them out on the street for a homeless person to wear, they would take'em  Now they do look like a good chew toy for a soi dog.  :Smile:

----------


## Mandaloopy

Enjoy the freedom!

----------


## lom

'morning Mendip, have a nice weekend!

----------


## Saint Willy

> You could start your new found freedom by walking to Central Plaza and buy some proper foot attire and toss those sandals in the trash.  I hate to waste but I don't think if you left them out on the street for a homeless person to wear, they would take'em  Now they do look like a good chew toy for a soi dog.


Even a soi dog would have more respect. Gutter Rats might.

----------


## Mendip

:02: 

There's been someone very obviously missing this morning... 



I've waited to say good bye but can't wait any longer... things to go, places to do and all that.

Then I had a final look around... says it all really. That didn't take long. 

But I wish them well.



So that's it... I'm outta here!



Adios fukkos, have a nice weekend!

----------


## Headworx

> As for my life experiences ... I've never eaten spare ribs, never been to a BJ Bar (that I know of anyway) and never had a soapie ...


Please tell us you're joking on all 3 points, unless you're living in a Bedouin tribe and have never left the Rubel Khali.

Looking forward to your sit-rep Mendip, please included all the details of an Oilfield man being let loose after a dry spell on lower Sukhumvit  :Reporter:

----------


## ootai

Mendip
I am sure you will come back here to check at sometime in the future so I just want to say.
Over 6 months, over 100 pages and over 2600 posts its been a journey.
While most of the thread is just drivel there have been some interesting moments and information.
So now as you fuk off into the morning please start thinking about what you are going to call your new thread.
My morning would be very empty without being able to get up and check what you have been doing and what the guys on here have been winding you up about.
So I thought I would make a few suggestion for the new thread's title:

At home at last with me daughter and dogs!
Stuck in Korat, again!
Out of work and destitute in Korat!
Dithering in the garden!
Fat and lazy at Home in Korat!

Just a few ideas but then i am sure you will come up with something better as being a Geologist you have a much more creative mind than an Engineer like me.

Good Luck and safe travels both around Bangkok and back to home.

----------


## David48atTD

> ... I've never eaten spare ribs, never been to a BJ Bar (that I know of anyway) and never had a soapie ... think of all the catching up I have to do!





> Please tell us you're joking on all 3 points, unless you're living in a Bedouin tribe and have never left the Rubel Khali.


Add to that list above, don't have FaceBook/Twitter and I didn't have an Instagram account until my tenant ...
 
 decided to do Swimwear modeling  :Smile: 


Never watched any of the godfather movies, seen an episode of the surpranos, don't have cable tv, the list is endless but, I get by.

---

Enough of this ... back to Mendip's hairy legs and suggestions for him to do with his shore leave before his return to the cheese and kisses.

----------


## Bogon

Enjoy civvy street Mendip.

----------


## OhOh

Your bubble has popped, take no heed of the handsome man sirens or the taxi driver's suggestions, mask up and wash hands.

The streets of Bangkok are hungry for new arrivals.

Your family, dogs and gardener need you back home.

The lashings can wait.  :tieme:

----------


## PAG

Some good advice here......

----------


## Stumpy

@ david48 while we wait for Mendy to return ( hopefully with better foot attire) I have never had a soapie or been to a Bj bar and am proud to say that.  I never did the whoremounger stuff.  Never interested me at all.  I have never had a Facebook, Instagram or Twitter acct and I do not care if some hot chick was a model I wouldn't sign up. But like you I have gotten by just fine without any of it.

However I have eaten spare ribs and eat them a lot.  Damn good off the grill.  

Maybe we need a "Where is Mendy" Thread and he can Geo tag his locations.

----------


## Headworx

> Maybe we need a "Where is Mendy" Thread


Bangkok has him now.

----------


## armstrong

Most the British pubs open at 9 so at least he can get a fry up.  A BJ Bar at 10am might be a bit more difficult, I assume..

----------


## Stumpy

> Bangkok has him now.


Yeah. He is probably running around with a big ol smile on his face in pink shorts and those Jesus sandals with a flowered up Songkran holiday shirt.  Full on tourist mode sitting eating some Full English slop.   :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> have never had a soapie or been to a Bj bar


Well, since we are all confessing. Neither have I.

----------


## David48atTD

*JPPR2* and *KW* ... honest members, nice to see.

I wouldn't mind trying a soapie though   :Smile: 

One day, maybe.

Probably get to eating ribs first though.

----------


## lom

> I have never had a soapie or been to a Bj bar and am proud to say that.


Was that a requirement for joining the fashion police?

----------


## Headworx

> Well, since we are all confessing. Neither have I.


The fuck is wrong with you people? This isn't a rehearsal you know, next thing you'll be saying you've never had a threesome while off your dial on a cocktail of alchohol, charlie, and viagra. Can't imagine being on my death bed wondering what it would have been like to do things like that, and often!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Can't imagine being on my death bed wondering what it would have been like to do things like that, and often!



I make my own fun.

----------


## Headworx

> I make my own fun.


Keep an eye out for the gardener then!

----------


## Saint Willy

I had a threesome once, too many arms and legs and elbows in the way.

----------


## David48atTD

> The fuck is wrong with you people? This isn't a rehearsal you know, next thing you'll be saying you've never had a threesome while off your dial on a cocktail of alchohol, charlie, and viagra.


I know it's a wind up, but Mendip is out plodding the darkened Sois of Bangkok and I'm bored.

---

So ... never had a desire to use 'charlie' and never needed Viagra.

What is the stuff they use in Thailand?  One is Sidegra, what are the other ones called?

I remember Luigi writing that he used to take half a tab sometimes.

----------


## Shutree

Good morning Mendip.
Welcome back to the world and take care out there.

----------


## Stumpy

> The fuck is wrong with you people? This isn't a rehearsal you know, next thing you'll be saying you've never had a threesome while off your dial on a cocktail of alchohol, charlie, and viagra. Can't imagine being on my death bed wondering what it would have been like to do things like that, and often!


Well to be honest, its just sex and I had loads of crazy times in college and at beach parties so its not like I need to go ring one out in Thailand. I can say though I will never be sitting on my death bed thinking I missed out by not having paid for a soapie when I have bathed with plenty of girls for free.  :Smile: . And I have zero need for Viagra or "give me a boner" medicine. 

Buts its all good, I get it. I mean if one dressed like Mendy did, its likely he has to pay for it... :smiley laughing:

----------


## nidhogg

> I know it's a wind up, but Mendip is out plodding the darkened Sois of Bangkok and I'm bored.
> 
> ---
> 
> So ... never had a desire to use 'charlie' and never needed Viagra.
> 
> What is the stuff they use in Thailand?  One is Sidegra, what are the other ones called?
> 
> I remember Luigi writing that he used to take half a tab sometimes.


You mean sildenafil? Think that is just generic viagra.

The other popular one here is kamagra, but think that is normally in liquid form.

Personally, never tried viagra.  Did split a sachet of kamagra with a girl once, but did not enjoy the experience, so never again.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I mean if one dressed like Mendy did, its likely he has to pay for it..



Harsh, but probaly true.


 ::doglol::

----------


## Stumpy

> Harsh, but probaly true.


It was, but I posted it with all kindness intended.   :Smile: .

----------


## aging one

Mendip will be sitting on bar stool smiling like a Cheshire cat.. :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> The other popular one here is kamagra, but think that is normally in liquid form.


Yeh, thanks Niddy, that's one of them.

----------


## Edmond

He'll be 10kg lighter than this morning already.  :Smile: 


On'ya Mendy.  :tumbs:

----------


## Dillinger

> Mendip will be sitting on bar stool smiling like a Cheshire cat..



He's most likely squealing like a Somerset Saddleback getting his  stool pushed right in by a couple of  ladyblokes off  Lulu's craigslist , the hairy deviant sandal and loud shirt wearing  fukkin Wurzel. :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

How I imagine Mendips day:

----------


## Iceman123

> The fuck is wrong with you people? This isn't a rehearsal you know, next thing you'll be saying you've never had a threesome while off your dial on a cocktail of alchohol, charlie, and viagra. Can't imagine being on my death bed wondering what it would have been like to do things like that, and often!


I am pleading the fifth on these activities

----------


## Headworx

^And I'm pleading for the bars to re-open so we can all do it again  :Smile:

----------


## Bogon

Mendip watch

Spotted getting pizza around Soi 4 area.

----------


## Bogon

Mendip watch

--UPDATE--

He seems to be creating a bit of a stir in the Soi 7 Biergarden.

----------


## Dillinger

He'd have been  drunk after 3 pints, shot his bolt in 30 seconds and been home since 3pm.

----------


## Saint Willy

Mendip Watch.

the ASQ hotel has had him arrested on pigeon cruelty after they cleaned his room and found the evidence

----------


## nidhogg

Recent sighting:

----------


## hallelujah

> I am 3 beers and 2 boiler makers in. I am so happy Mendy gives me a reason to drink and eat like a mad man.


A whole 3 beers?

 :smiley laughing:  

You go, girl!

----------


## Saint Willy

Mendip not come up for air yet?

----------


## strigils

Lets hope he's not blown his prostate, he is getting into the danger zone.

----------


## Dillinger

Most likely been slipped a Mickey and coming around now with a raging boner, no phone or watch, lying there in just those jesus creepers and  a pool of his own piss.

We've all been there, eh?

----------


## Saint Willy

Well, minus the Jesus creepers

----------


## strigils

^ & ^^ or a phone back in those days

----------


## David48atTD

> Recent sighting:
> 
> Attachment 64095



Legs look about right, but without seeing his footwear, can't be sure  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

Mendips team lost today so doubt he's having a  double whammy blowout.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Mendips team lost today so doubt he's having a  double whammy blowout.



Good intel. At what point do we send out a search team?

----------


## Stumpy

Lots could be wrong. Could have eaten a bad batch of Peas or beans from a proper English Brekkie.  He could be at the hospital in pain from walking around in those Jesus slippers and no socks.  I am leaning with the theory mentioned by Dil that he got roofied. I bet they took everything but those slippers  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

Mendip MIA :Crucified:

----------


## Headworx

This is not looking good  :Sad:

----------


## David48atTD

> This is not looking good


Too Funny ...  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

:rofl:

----------


## Stumpy

+ 1 on that news clip.... :smiley laughing:

----------


## Neverna

Mendip made it clear he wouldn't be posting for a while after release. 




> Plans for today?





> To go 'off comms' for a while. I've gotta lot to do.

----------


## Headworx

^He'll be on a complete bender since being released, but all the posts in this thread will hopefully make him laugh when the time comes to deal with a hangover that'll be bigger than a Russian war memorial  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

He is on a bender for sure. I know I would be.  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

After one night in Bangkok, and going through six months of off-shore salary, Mendip begins planning the last stage of his journey home:

----------


## Mendip

Well, that's better!

----------


## Dillinger



----------


## Mendip

Apart from my head of course.

I see plenty of conjecture as to my well-being so thought I should report in.

On leaving the ASQ I was given a nice letter stapled together with my two negative Covid test results.

The Silver Palm was my ASQ and I'd recommend it... so long as you take along some snacks for the fridge. I have a friend currently ASQing in the Marriott Courtyard and while he is doubtless getting better meals than I received, he's confined to a small sealed room for 23 hours a day. No Zebra doves, no nothing. I wouldn't fancy that.



A 151 Baht Grab car took me to my destination and 30 minutes after leaving the ASQ I was into a full English. _Sans_ cider unfortunately but it wasn't for want of trying.



And then it was time to get serious.

My last three ASQ tips have also held me in good stead in 'general' life.

Before hitting the bright lights always make sure you have a decent stock of alcohol in your hotel room, particularly in times of Covid. You never know how things may turn out, although it has been no problem finding bars that serve alcohol during the current 'ban'.



Always give the guy who carries your bags up to the room a decent tip. I can't step foot outside of the hotel without him running off to find a taxi, etc etc. He even writes down the Taxi registration numbers in a little book. Good service.

And lastly, before hitting the streets always take a hotel business card from reception in case you forget where you are staying.

----------


## Headworx

> And lastly, before hitting the streets always take a hotel business card from reception in case you forget where you are staying.


Yes the good old days of Bangkok taxi drivers having one look at you and saying _Honey Hotel_ _Sir?_ are long gone now  :Sad: 

Glad to see you made it out the other side, can't imagine what/who you've been up to and fully expect you to deny any shenanigans took place anyway  :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

Gin 'n Tonic with...jif.

Dear oh dear oh dear.

 :Sad:

----------


## baldrick

> in case you forget where you are staying.


or too drunk to speak

----------


## Mendip

As is my habit I booked a room with a balcony... but I can't use it. 

The wall is just too low... the other side of that is a 10 storey drop. I don't want to become another statistic, especially at the start of a long holiday.



I guess that is like one of those Chinese nail houses? They must have been offered a lot of money to sell up.



And the nail houses from the front. Maybe I should get a new shirt made... they must be good to make it worth while staying put.



The dinosaurs are long gone, but it's good to be back to normality. Trains and cars, not a tram to be seen.

----------


## aging one

Either you are sucking your gut in or you did lose weight in those 15 days cooped up with lower calorie food. :Smile:   Good on ya, keep on having fun.

----------


## Headworx

That balcony wall height is borderline on being straight out dangerous. Wouldn't want to be getting too close to that while sober, let alone with a load on.

----------


## lom

Staying at Hotel Mermaid?

----------


## Stumpy

> Yes the good old days of Bangkok taxi drivers having one look at you and saying Honey Hotel Sir?


Actually I didn't find that to be a problem  at all  HW.  When I lived in BKK for work last year, every time I walked out there was this Tuk Tuk Driver.  He always asked me if I wanted to go to a few Entertainment/Massage places.  I always laughed. He was nice old guy.  Used him a dozen times or so to go to meet colleagues at other hotels for dinners.  He also took me way across town to a motorcycle  shop to pick up my chain and brake pads.  We stopped and we chatted over lunch.  After that he stopped asking me to go to hooker places albeit I did add him to my Line messenger as I used him a few times after business colleagues and I got plowed and didn't want to walk.   :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

Hey Hey Mendy. How ya feeling?  Did ya ditch the Jesus slippers for some proper foot attire?   :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

^^You may have missed the reference. Honey Hotel was the home away from work for Oilfield guys on their break from some horrendous location for decades, you'd be doing well to find guys in the industry who've never heard of it even if they've never been to Bangkok! Expat Hotel in Phuket was another place out of the same mould. The point being, it was uncanny how Bangkok taxi drivers could take one look at someone stumbling out of Cowboy or Nana, know they'd flown in from somewhere like Saudi or Kuwait, and know where they'd be staying!

----------


## Stumpy

My apologies HW.  I never knew any roughnecks but I suspect they stood out.  Same as the business guy in a suit.

----------


## Shutree

> Yes the good old days of Bangkok taxi drivers having one look at you and saying _Honey Hotel_ _Sir?_ are long gone now


The Honey Hotel will be sadly missed. A fair price in a good location and an interesting assortment of customers. I have friends who like to stay at swisher hotels nearby, on the company account of course. We used to meet 2 or 3 times a year and they would spring for dinner at El Gaucho. This was mentioned on another thread, I think we have got close to Baht 10,000 per head on a couple of occasions, through very immodest wine consumption. Happy days, pre-Covid.

----------


## armstrong

Who took the picture Mendip?!

----------


## nidhogg

> Who took the picture Mendip?!


Yikes.  Good point.  Mendip busted.

----------


## Mendip

> Either you are sucking your gut in or you did lose weight in those 15 days cooped up with lower calorie food.  Good on ya, keep on having fun.


I feel as though I have lost a few kilos during ASQ mate, but whenever a camera comes out I hold in my gut... it's just automatic these days, like a reflex action.





> That balcony wall height is borderline on being straight out dangerous. Wouldn't want to be getting too close to that while sober, let alone with a load on.


Yeah exactly... I've been avoiding going out on the balcony. I'm not great with heights anyway and that wall is lower than waist high. I am actually going to mention it when I leave.





> Staying at Hotel Mermaid?


Well spotted Lom. This has become one of my hotels of choice when staying in Bangkok. It has a nice bar downstairs as well. The signs on the door say the bar is closed just now, of course...

The owner is a Dane, a very interesting guy with a fascinating past. He was also one of the founders of Mermaid Maritime.





> Hey Hey Mendy. How ya feeling?  Did ya ditch the Jesus slippers for some proper foot attire?


My smart and stylish sandals continue to serve me well when out and about. I became a bit paranoid at first after the onslaught of criticism from you wankers but everyone I've met in Bangkok have been very complimentary about them.


I've certainly been served beer in a wide range of receptacles over the past couple of days. Today I was ushered into a secluded corner of a restaurant and served beer in a metal cup kind of thing. It reminded me of the downstairs bar in The Mall in Korat who used to serve your beer in coffee cups between 2pm and 5pm.



I've already crossed off a full English from the list. Today it was the turn of lamb. I seem to have lost a day somewhere. 

It could have done with some mashed potato to be honest... I was still a bit hungry after the measly couscous offering.



And that's it... a quiet night tonight...

Tomorrow I'm going home!

----------


## Mendip

> Who took the picture Mendip?!


I got one of the cleaners to take it of course.

Why? What are you saying?

----------


## bsnub

> Today I was ushered into a secluded corner of a restaurant and served beer in a metal cup kind of thing.


That is made of copper, and it is to be served only with a Moscow Mule. So the person who served you that had no idea what they were doing.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, but she was very pretty.

They won't serve beer in beer glasses because of the alcohol ban, so you get it in any other ridiculous cup they can find.

----------


## bsnub

> They won't serve beer in beer glasses because of the alcohol ban


I just can't get my head around why countries are doing this.

----------


## Shutree

> I seem to have lost a day somewhere.


Good man.

----------


## David48atTD

> I got one of the cleaners to take it of course.
> 
> Why? What are you saying?

----------


## armstrong

> ^ Yeah, but she was very pretty.
> 
> They won't serve beer in beer glasses because of the alcohol ban, so you get it in any other ridiculous cup they can find.


I've seen beer in beer glasses but they put an empty bottle of Heineken 0% next to the glass.

Also coke cans with the kids cut off, copper cups, tea cups and some bars that only sell shorts with a mixer.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Honey Hotel Sir?


I lived next door, so never got lost.

----------


## Stumpy

> I just can't get my head around why countries are doing this.


Me neither. FFS lets us get pleasantly anesthetized. I mean shit if you are sitting alone having dinner let the customer drink.  But that aside I think it has to do with the belief that serving alcohol will draw a social gathering not support social distancing.  They apparently want every one to drink at home

----------


## bsnub

> They apparently want every one to drink at home


Well I guess that makes sense.

----------


## Joe 90

> Well I guess that makes sense.



You can say that again :Beerchug:

----------


## hallelujah

> Yes the good old days of Bangkok taxi drivers having one look at you and saying _Honey Hotel_ _Sir?_ are long gone now


The first hotel I ever stayed at on the Sukhumvit side of town!

The place stunk of minge and dried spunk. 

I loved it.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

Morning Mendy.  Where are you today?

----------


## Saint Willy

Back to the... aherm, special bar...

----------


## Mendip

^^ I'm horizontal with a raging headache. Things went a bit awry after my lamb shank yesterday.

I'm a bit annoyed with myself if truth be known.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^^ I'm horizontal with a raging headache. Things went a bit awry after my lamb shank yesterday.
> 
> I'm a bit annoyed with myself if truth be known.


Ya gotta give us more details than that. 

Gardener?

Lose your Jesus Sandals?

Get arreseted?

Drink your entire supplies of soft pop and whiskey.

----------


## Mendip

Never fear, my smart sandals are safe and I'll be donning them soon.

The gardener should be cleaning the pool with any luck. 

I'm feeling sorry for myself while waiting for my driver. The plan is to leave around 11am so we'll hit Korat at school pick-up time.

I'm gonna surprise the daughter!

----------


## Headworx

^Good on you mate, it's been quite the journey so be safe and slap your driver around the ears if he/she seems hell bent on fucking things up on the final leg of your travels! Get a few 7/11 ham-cheese toasties into you during the ride, hungover and empty stomach while moving don't mix well.

----------


## baldrick

ham , cheese and egg if you can find them

----------


## Mendip

That's a great idea, I love those toasties.

I picked up a couple of Yorkies pork pies from Villa Market as well. I'll spoil meself on the journey.

----------


## aging one

> The plan is to leave around 11am so we'll hit Korat at school pick-up time.
> 
> I'm gonna surprise the daughter!


What a brilliant idea!!  Its gonna be classic when she spots you mate. Wish I could be there to film it. :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> I'm gonna surprise the daughter!


Perfect! She's gonna love that!

----------


## OhOh

Your wife knows you're on your way, right?

----------


## Mendip

^ Oh yeah, that would be a surprise too much.

She's heading out to Korat Chef today to pick up some steak and kidney pies!

----------


## David48atTD

> ^ Oh yeah, that would be a surprise too much.
> 
> She's heading out to Korat Chef today to pick up some steak and kidney pies!


... and a kilo of frozen peas?

----------


## Saint Willy

> ... and 20 kilos of frozen peas?


FTFY.

----------


## Headworx

Speaking of peas, what type of sorcery is this Mendip?
 Peas _and_ pudding? Worth a shot or no?

----------


## Steady

> I'm a bit annoyed with myself if truth be known.


Been barebacking have we? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Any peas are worth trying mate. Pease pudding goes great with some ham and potatoes.

Coincidentally, yesterday I picked up 5 tins of the Batchelors Mushy Peas at Villa Market. Mine were only 51 Baht a tin as well! 

But they weren't the 'Original', I got the 'Chip Shop' variety which are a bit more mushy.

----------


## Headworx

^OK will buy a tin next time to try. Have got 2 racks of lamb coming up to room temp to cook later today, not sure if they'll be cut into chops and pan fried or baked whole in the oven yet but there'll be mash potato and minted peas on the side either way  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

This is Od.

My chariot awaits!



I first met Od nearly fifteen years ago. I arrived at Don Muang from my first work rotation after moving to Korat. Od has a very attractive wife and she talked me into taking a 'limousine' up to Korat, and after I agreed she led me to her husband who was waiting down stairs.

I've used Od ever since... he drives steady, you can trust him with your bags in the car and I've never missed a flight when he's been the driver. He also doesn't mind the occasional strange request... today I want to pick up a couple of lemon trees on the way through Pak Chong. For many years I had Od stop at a lay-by near Lam Takong so that I could put a couple of rocks in the back of this car. I did this for maybe six years until I had enough to build my rockery at home. Od didn't seem to mind despite the mess it made in his car.

I pay him extra but he's worth every Baht, and besides it's usually on expenses. He's based near Suvarnabhumi now and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend him... he certainly needs the work at the moment. If I travel with my family he uses his wife's Fortuna so there's no problem with luggage. Please PM me if you ever need a driver.

Twp stories about Od...

One time I had an early morning flight so travelled down from Korat the night before and stayed in some dive close to the airport... The Valentine Hotel I seem to remember it was called. When we arrived I paid Od and off he went. The next morning I went out to look for a taxi and Od was still there... he's slept in his car for the night so he could take me to the airport in the morning. And he wouldn't accept any extra payment.

Another time we had to stay in Bangkok for a few weeks because of a very sick family member who was in hospital. Od recommended we stay at this hotel in Patpong, just a short walk from Chulalongkorn Hospital. When we arrived we had to avoid reception and check in with the bellboy, who was a mate of Od's. We had a big suite for several weeks for the price of a standard room. I have found that to usually be the way in Thailand... favours often get returned.

----------


## Mendip

> ^OK will buy a tin next time to try. Have got 2 racks of lamb coming up to room temp to cook later today, not sure if they'll be cut into chops and pan fried or baked whole in the oven yet but there'll be mash potato and minted peas on the side either way


Sounds great!

I bought some lamb fillets at Villa Market yesterday... the cost a small fortune but Is thought I'd spoil myself... well and the wife and daughter of course.

I may even get my skillet back in action this week!

----------


## Stumpy

Awesome Mendy, Travel safe and your daughter will be quite surprised and happy to see you. 


BTW, what is it with you guys and Peas and Beans...I just do not get it. Is it because you can open a can and eat them cold or pour in a bowl and heat them up in a microwave and no one has to cook for you?

----------


## ootai

> ^ Oh yeah, that would be a surprise too much!



Who for you or her?

----------


## OhOh

> I'm horizontal with a raging headache


Should have taken the train.

----------


## Shutree

> Any peas are worth trying mate. Pease pudding goes great with some ham and potatoes.
> 
> Coincidentally, yesterday I picked up 5 tins of the Batchelors Mushy Peas at Villa Market. Mine were only 51 Baht a tin as well! 
> 
> But they weren't the 'Original', I got the 'Chip Shop' variety which are a bit more mushy.


Good afternoon Mendip. The thread nears its end. Safe landings in Korat. I'm sure it will be great to see the family and the dogs again.

Isn't pease pudding made from a different kind of pea? A bit like dahl? I haven't seen it for decades but as you say it was served with ham like a kind of sludgy soup when I was young. Looks a bit sad, tastes okay.

----------


## Neverna

> today I want to pick up a couple of lemon trees on the way through Pak Chong.


Lemon or lime, Mendip? 

I wouldn't mind a couple of both, tbh.

----------


## Mendip

> BTW, what is it with you guys and Peas and Beans...I just do not get it. Is it because you can open a can and eat them cold or pour in a bowl and heat them up in a microwave and no one has to cook for you?


I could just as easily say what is it with you guys not eating peas and beans. I just don't get that.





> Who for you or her?


Good question...

I learnt my lesson with surprises... many years ago I flew in to Bristol after a work trio to surprise my parents, but they were away on holiday. I spent the week in their house on my own.





> Should have taken the train.


I'm through with trains in Thailand after my last experience.

Although coincidentally... another thing about Od is that his dad lives in Sara Buri, so we popped in to visit him as we drove past. The way things are looking we'll arrive in Korat way too early to pick up my daughter so he's driving extra slow and we'll have to stop for lunch to waste an hour.

We had to cross the main Korat railway line to get in to Sara Buri. Korat is around 150km along that line.







> Isn't pease pudding made from a different kind of pea? A bit like dahl?


I seem to have a gap in my pea knowledge here. I think pease pudding is made from dried peas. I'll have to do some research when I get home and make some up.





> Lemon or lime, Mendip?


It's lemon trees I'm after. We've got loads of lime trees and they do really well in our garden. We used to have very successful lemon trees as well but they didn't live all that long. While they lasted though we'd get a few hundred lemons a year.

----------


## cyrille

> Lemon or lime, Mendip? 
> 
> I wouldn't mind a couple of both, tbh.


Anything that helps avoid bloody Jif in a G + T. 

I wish I could expunge that 'idea' from my consciousness.

----------


## Stumpy

> I could just as easily say what is it with you guys not eating peas and beans. I just don't get that.


Fair point Mendy. Carry on with your Peas and Beans.  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

> Anything that helps avoid bloody Jif in a G + T.


That honestly took me a while to decipher.  Finally the penny dropped:

----------


## cyrille

*_shudder_*

----------


## strigils

> And then it was time to get serious.
> 
> My last three ASQ tips have also held me in good stead in 'general' life.
> 
> Before hitting the bright lights always make sure you have a decent stock of alcohol in your hotel room, particularly in times of Covid. You never know how things may turn out, although it has been no problem finding bars that serve alcohol during the current 'ban'.
> 
> 
> 
> .


I can't see Jif Lemon in that bag, just two large lemons with big nobbly bits on the end like a wet nurseys ...?

----------


## cyrille

Shit - looks like you're right.  :Very Happy: 

Not jif - just rather old lemons.

Apologies Mendy.

----------


## Mendip

Apologies accepted!

Never have I had such slanderous accusations made against me.

But thanks for the tip Cyrille... a Jif lemon has gone on the shopping list.

And a big thanks to Headworx as well for his culinary tip.

I feel better already!



One hour outside Korat but the daughter's school doesn't finish for two hours... my planning is failing me at the last hurdle.

----------


## Shutree

> my planning is failing me at the last hurdle.


Not really failure. You can be early, she won't mind.  :Smile: 

You have the makings of a litre of gin and tonic there if you get bored.

----------


## Headworx

> And a big thanks to Headworx as well for his culinary tip.


Looking forward to you getting back into the kitchen, cooking up a storm, the ensuing pics, and banter  :Smile: 

I've gone with baking a lamb rack today, rendered the fat down in a skillet first and it's in the oven now. Mash and peas also on the go  :Razz:

----------


## Mendip

> You have the makings of a litre of gin and tonic there if you get bored.


That's true enough, and I have two real lemons to use as well. I couldn't find a lemon tree on the way up... all the usual roadside places seem to have disappeared due to Covid I guess. Cyrille really has come up trumps this time.

But would it be setting a good example to turn up completely rat-arsed at my daughter's posh school?


Not far at all now... we just passed the rather grand temple at Sikhio. I'm sure my wife told me the build was paid for by some Isaan movie star or other.

----------


## Saint Willy

> That honestly took me a while to decipher.  Finally the penny dropped:
> 
> Attachment 64181



oh lord!

----------


## Dillinger

Finally, The nipper will be tickled pink when she sees that sweet stash you have for her. :Smile: 

On the flip side of the coin,  the Asian Siamburis

Only cost me a packet of seaweed :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I got her some Whotsit kind of crisps at Villa Market as well, she'll go mad!

I spent over 8000 Baht on nothing at Villa Market yesterday... recon it would have cost less than 50 quid in Blighty.

----------


## Edmond

Safe travels! 


Enjoy it.

After 8 months away you're about to have yer first root in 16 hours.  :Smile:

----------


## strigils

> On the flip side of the coin,  the Asian Siamburis
> Only cost me a packet of seaweed


Have you introduced her to Baltis and magic carpets yet Dillinger?

----------


## strigils

> I spent over 8000 Baht on nothing at Villa Market yesterday... recon it would have cost less than 50 quid in Blighty.


Perspective Mendip, that's less than a mornings work  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> That's true enough, and I have two real lemons to use as well. I couldn't find a lemon tree on the way up... all the usual roadside places seem to have disappeared due to Covid I guess. Cyrille really has come up trumps this time.
> 
> But would it be setting a good example to turn up completely rat-arsed at my daughter's posh school?
> 
> 
> Not far at all now... we just passed the rather grand temple at Sikhio. I'm sure my wife told me the build was paid for by some Isaan movie star or other.


Stopped by that temple on my Moto while on my loop ride from Wang Nam Khiao back through that silly little Italian wanna be village area and the fake leaning tower of Pisa then by Khao Yai when I lived in Korat. I was ushered in to take pics with that movie star guy, They gave me some buddha necklace and I coughed up 200 bht to the donation pile.

----------


## strigils

Anyway...i expect Mendips daughter is overjoyed at seeing dad.

----------


## Mendip

After eventually picking up the kids (my daughter plus one classmate) and battling through Korat evening rush hour traffic I arrived back home at 5:45pm, thus completing my work commute.

This was exactly 194 days and 7 hours after leaving home at 9:45am on 23rd July last year.

I'm in no hurry to do this again.



The dogs were well pleased to see me and there was none of the nervousness or trepidation I was worried about. Within 5 minutes it was as if I'd never been away, although maybe they were showing me a bit more attention than normal.

One thing I am very concerned about is not slipping back into my old habits as soon as I arrive back home.



The daughter was happy to see me as well. She seems to be the new master so I'm gonna have to sort that out.



She's done a great job with the dogs while I've been away. Maybe she will be a vet after all!



My last Isaan meal before leaving last July was steak and kidney pie, chips and beans. It seemed only fitting to get stuck in to the same Isaan fare tonight, my first night back.



And I think that's about it for this thread. Thanks to everyone for putting up with it and contributing... it really has been very good therapy for me and I've enjoyed it immensely. It hasn't been easy being away from home for so long. 

One day I hope my daughter will read it and see what her old man got up to... apart from the French references of course.

But for now we have a late Christmas family celebration and an early night!

Cheers everyone!

----------


## bsnub

Fantastic! Mendy you are one of a kind! So happy you are home with your blessed little lady and the mutts. I even bought an American beef pie to eat in your honour.  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

Brillliant, brilliant, brilliant!

The only question is what next for our very own Paul Theroux.  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> The only question is what next for our very own Paul Theroux.


A well-earned break.

----------


## PAG

Well done, keep taking deep breaths, and remembering to exhale.

----------


## Joe 90

Brilliant thread Mendip!

I'm sure everyone has enjoyed it as much as you.

Careful not to slip into old habits, priceless :Smile: 

Next time you visit a temple leave them Jesus boots outside and see if someone steals them ::spin::

----------


## bsnub

> Next time you visit a temple leave them Jesus boots outside and see if someone steals them


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## ootai

> Mendip
> I am sure you will come back here to check at sometime in the future so I just want to say.
> Over 6 months, over 100 pages and over 2600 posts its been a journey.
> While most of the thread is just drivel there have been some interesting moments and information.
> So now as you fuk off into the morning please start thinking about what you are going to call your new thread.
> My morning would be very empty without being able to get up and check what you have been doing and what the guys on here have been winding you up about.
> So I thought I would make a few suggestion for the new thread's title:
> 
> At home at last with me daughter and dogs!
> ...









> Brillliant, brilliant, brilliant!
> 
> The only question is what next for our very own Paul Theroux.




Mendip
I am not sure if you managed to read my previous post that I made when you were "off comms" in Bangkok but hallelujah reminded me that i had asked a similar question to him.
So, "What's it gonna be Mendy?"

----------


## Neverna

Well done, Mendip. Welcome home. And good night. Have a good sleep in your own bed tonight. Cheers.

----------


## Looper

> This was exactly 194 days and 7 hours after leaving home at 9:45am on 23rd July last year.


Champion effort Mr Mendip and champion thread sir. Welcome home

----------


## OhOh

From July last year to this February you have kept us all amused with your stories.




> I have a confirmed flight out of BKK 02:10 Sunday morning, heading to Narvik/Harstad (EVE) to join an offshore survey/construction vessel, and after eight months off it feels weird! This is my last evening in Isaan...


This evening your epic saga has been completed.

Thank you for keeping us all amused with your tales.

A ******* star thread from an equally nice guy.

----------


## Saint Willy

:goldcup:  thread.


welcome home. Dogs and kid happy to see you. Not much else needed in life.

----------


## Loy Toy

This thread is one of the main reasons I continue to log on here.

Not only therapeutic for you Mendip but I guess also for others who have followed your thread.

Now enjoy the next phase of your life with your family.

Well done mate.

----------


## Mandaloopy

Wonderful thread and thanks for sharing with us. Far better morning coffee reading than the news at the moment.

----------


## Stumpy

I agree with LT.  This thread was therapeutic for many of us.  Probably more for Mendy but I sure enjoyed it.  With so many of us working from home due to this Covid stuff it offered a way for a group of us to share and laugh and for once not have it be a shit fest thread.

Welcome home Mendy. Life is good and stay safe.

----------


## naptownmike

Congrats on completing your work voyage.
As everyone has said thanks for sharing your journey with us. I enjoyed following along while stuck in the US working.

Welcome home.

----------


## Edmond

Bet the morning coffee at home was tops.  :Yup:  



Now get outside for an hour's exercise!  :Smile:

----------


## aging one

> Bet the morning coffee at home was tops. 
> 
> 
> 
> Now get outside for an hour's exercise!


Two hour commute from the house to his daughters school and back. The part of his day he loves the most.. :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

^ Fatties always have excuses.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> ^ Fatties always have excuses.


I just rode my bike 8km RT in the afternoon 31c heat to get an ice cold fresh green tea with lime. Wan noi of course. Have to save calories for drinks later.   Wife said, "why didn't you take your wave?"...I said Edmond is calling us fatties... She asked who is Edmond. I said some fat cnut on TD  :rofl:

----------


## David48atTD

> She asked who is Edmond. I said some fat cnut on TD


Harsh ... but  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Iceman123

Great thread Mendy, I am almost sad you are home and the story has to end.

Well done!

----------


## Dillinger

Where is he?

I hope we haven't lost another poster to Eddie and his exercise bike





> I am almost sad you are home and the story has to end.


I don't see why it has to end. We have sat through the last 8 months of his mundane unsexed  Truman Show life :Smile:  why can't it continue?

Nev only lives around the corner. Whats going on in  that gardening shed, Nev?

----------


## Saint Willy

#BantheBike

----------


## ootai

I think he has gone "off comms" again.
Now that he's home, "he has a lot on" as he always said while doing sweet fuk all.
Just like Macarthur he will be back one day.

----------


## Mendip

> I am almost sad you are home and the story has to end.


Thanks Iceman but it ended up almost like a blog which was never the intention. I can't keep carrying it on forever. Most of what I do now could be covered by the Dinner thread and the Daily Moan thread.




> Where is he?
> 
> I don't see why it has to end. We have sat through the last 8 months of his mundane unsexed  Truman Show life why can't it continue?


Mundane? A bit rich coming from a Brummie bus driver who can't even make a decent snowman! 

And it was only six and a half months, not eight months. Don't time fly!

And as for unsexed... you obviously missed my ASQ balcony danger wank.





> I think he has gone "off comms" again.
> Now that he's home, "he has a lot on" as he always said while doing sweet fuk all.


It's not so much going 'off comms' but I've a lot on now and it's hard to justify writing bollox here when I've a young daughter demanding my time.

But as some sort of a foot note... I've been home for two days now and already it feels like I've never been away. Already I can't imagine how it feels to be cold, the wife's getting on me nerves and the cracks in my feet have opened up again. The bitter cold of Gothenburg feels a long way off after sweating me balls off in our garden for the past couple of days and the peace and tranquility of ASQ is long gone.

My first job was the animals. I inoculated our five dogs and two outside dogs (Anna and Vigo) against heartworm and ticks. I also caught and inoculated our 40 odd chickens against fowl cholera. This is the time of year it seems to strike and it should be done every 3 months. I've been away 7 months and of course all these jobs have been left for me. This is also something you should be considering Ootai.



And here's 'Whitey black spot' getting her 100ml. Incidentally, I think she was the chick I helped out of it's shell just before I left last July... somewhere near the start of this thread.



And I now had three cocks which was never gonna work. All three also hatched last July just before I left and our resident cock, 'Robin Hood' passed on a couple of months ago. To be honest any one of these may also have been the one I helped out of it's shell last summer. I decided to keep the smaller, pure jungle fowl cock. These two big ones probably hatched from the big brown eggs laid by our red egg laying hens, so were jungle fowl/warren hen cross. I don't want to breed more from these, although their female progeny would probably be good egg layers. They went to run with the flock at the local temple.



And the remaining time has been spent tackling/planning a myriad of outstanding jobs that have built up over 7 months. 

I'm greeted by this view every morning... the dogs are confined to an area away from  neighbouring houses at night and sleep in my workshop/gardener's kitchen. They go mental when I come out in the morning.



Tommy and Yogi, our two un-neutered boys have started getting jealous for my attention and keep flighting... I've upset the pack dynamic. I foolishly tried to split them up yesterday and received a glancing blow from Yogi... my fault entirely, it was a stupid thing to do. From 99 out of 100 fights the dogs come out unblemished... it's only when a foolish human intervenes while their blood is up that injuries happen... and it bladdy hurt!



Must admit, I've been considering re-applying for another couple of weeks of ASQ... I'm knackered after five days on the outside.

But then I wouldn't get food like this... a couple of Isaan highlights.

There's a baked bean drought in Korat right now and the wife forgot to tell me while I was in Bangkok... so it's peas all the way. I've been experimenting with par-boiled and sliced and fried potatoes. Ha! Mundane indeed.

Lamb fillet steaks...



And sausages!

----------


## HuangLao

Might be the most entertaining and delightfully continuous thread of the last few years, Mendy! [including the casual commentary from others]

In a romantic notion, this is what TD might be [or instinctively directed to be] in a parallel universe - like the good old days. 

Keep it up.

Cheers!

 :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Might be the most entertaining and delightfully continuous thread of the last few years, Mendy! [including the casual commentary from others]
> 
> In a romantic notion, this is what TD might be [or instinctively directed to be] in a parallel universe - like the good old days. 
> 
> Keep it up.
> 
> Cheers!


Quite, Jeff. 

I'm even thinking of digging out some retro Thai photos myself this weekend and sticking a "pandemic travel thread" up.

*Although that may involve paying Photobucket who have now shagged my account.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Firstly thanks for the update sounds like you have actually BEEN BUSY and not dithering after all.
As others have said I have really enjoyed waking up to my dose of Mendy each morning you seem to have a sense of humour that everyone appreciates and that you manage to retain 99% of the time when inundated by us posters on here taking the piss out of you.

As for me inoculating my chickens I don't think that will happen.
One I'm too lazy to try and catch them all and if I only did the warren hens it would probably be pointless.
The MIL has lots of chickens and I have never seen any die for seemingly no reason except of course the 1 warren hen of mine that literally fell off the perch.
So do you think the Warren's are more susceptible than the native hens?

I hope you have got yourself a rabies vaccination after getting bitten. Once you develop rabies it is too late and it is fatal.
In future just let them sort it out and sit back and watch while sipping whatever it is you are drinking at the time.

As always one more thing, do you think the traffic in Korat has gotten worst or is it lighter than before you went away?

While you might not have beans there doesn't seem to  be a shortage of peas!

----------


## Stumpy

Ahhh.  Good to hear from you Mendy.  Nice " back on the farm" update.  While I only have 2 dogs they too go mental every morning as I come down the stairs, especially my Lab.  Then my Golden Retriever follows me around relentlessly with a ball in her mouth that she would pay me to throw if she knew what money was. 

How is the pool?  Mine seems to be a magnet for all the burnt sugar cane ash.  Amazing how much of that shit falls out of the sky.

Isn't life great being back home?  No mask.  No social distancing. Oh yeah. How is your gardener.  I bet he missed you too.  :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

Ouchy. 

Hope you got some iodine on that. Where was your wedding ring? Bravado in front of the gardener or danger wank go awry?

That's gonna set you back when your clothes horse arrives.

----------


## Stumpy

Hey Mendy. Happy Friday.  I meant to ask, when you got home did you cut up those rawhide Jesus slippers and give pieces to your dogs to gnaw on...? Great chew toys.  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

Mendip, I wanted to add to the chorus thanking you for your long and engaging thread and most importantly for bringing it to a happy ending. We promise never to tell your daughter about you scoffing her treats.
Your long list of things to do around the house will be good to keep you busy. Much better than returning home to the sofa. Where I am, on the edge of Isan nowhere, most of January was temperate, occasionally rather cool, and I could potter comfortably about the garden all morning. It seems to be getting just a little warmer over the past few days, though you should still have extra tolerable hours in the day to drain the swamp and things.
Welcome home.

----------


## Dillinger

To be fair to the dog, they do look like 4 and a half tasty Cumberlands.

thats life dog sausages - Google-haku

----------


## nidhogg

> To be fair to the dog, they do look like 4 and a half tasty Cumberlands.


If your sausages are that hairy, you might need to get a new supplier......

----------


## Stumpy

Oh Yeah, Mendy has more hair on his fingers then I do on my arms. FFS, he can braid the stuff. Damn Neanderthal man. Must play hell on all his shower drains.   :Smile:

----------


## Dillinger

^^ You'd obviously boil them first. There's a few paintbrushes there.

----------


## Stumpy

> ^^ You'd obviously boil them first. There's a few paintbrushes there.


Lets be honest, the dogs wouldn't mind a fur ball. I mean they eat chickens feather and all. But yeah Dil.. You could boil and skin them pudgy fingers and they are definitely dog treats.   

Sorry Mendy.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

FFS... do you guys have no hobbies?

I'm making no apologies for having manly fingers.





> Ouchy. 
> 
> Hope you got some iodine on that. Where was your wedding ring? Bravado in front of the gardener or danger wank go awry?



Funny you should say that... I lost my wedding ring last year in the garden and this was the first time that I really regretted not finding it. It's quite a thick band and would have protected my finger from Yogi's teeth admirably. I set up a metal detecting treasure hunt for the daughter round the garden and thought I'd spice it up a bit with a piece of gold.  Of course she found the 10 Baht coins and airline cutlery but me wedding ring wasn't detected. Every now and again I surreptitiously do a bit of searching but have completely forgotten where it is. 

So as it stands Yogi has severely curtailed my sex life. There'll be no danger wanks or any other kind for a while yet until the swelling goes down, particularly of the left handed variety.





> Mendip
> As for me inoculating my chickens I don't think that will happen.
> One I'm too lazy to try and catch them all and if I only did the warren hens it would probably be pointless.
> The MIL has lots of chickens and I have never seen any die for seemingly no reason except of course the 1 warren hen of mine that literally fell off the perch.
> So do you think the Warren's are more susceptible than the native hens?
> 
> I hope you have got yourself a rabies vaccination after getting bitten. Once you develop rabies it is too late and it is fatal.
> In future just let them sort it out and sit back and watch while sipping whatever it is you are drinking at the time.
> 
> As always one more thing, do you think the traffic in Korat has gotten worst or is it lighter than before you went away?


Ootai, the fowl cholera vaccine will protect the ones you inoculate so there is every point in doing the chickens you can catch. When we got hit a few years ago we lost about 50 chickens... the entire flock apart from three warren hens that I'd recently purchased. The rearing stations inoculate before selling the warren hens and protection lasts for around 3 months, so those 3 were lucky. We lost wild jungle fowl, mixes, all sorts and it was heartbreaking burying 3 or 4 every morning for a couple of weeks. You're OK until if/when you get hit of course.

No chance of Yogi having rabies... our dogs are isolated and have had all their jabs. I have had rabies jabs before when working West Africa but I do probably need boosters. I'll look in to that before I start messing with the street dogs again... I went with the gardener today to feed our regulars and after being away 7 months it's a disaster... puppies everywhere.

And... the Korat traffic has been appalling these last few days... as ever. Not sure if it's any worse but certainly no better.

----------


## nidhogg

> FFS... do you guys have no hobbies?
> 
> .


Yeah  -uh no, we don't.  You should have figured that out by now.

----------


## Stumpy

> FFS... do you guys have no hobbies?


Oh man do I have hobbies. I just modified my Hilux suspension to raise it up a few inches more. It's at the alignment shop now. Will pick it up tomorrow.  I planted a few shrubs, rode my bike, washed windows and screens, swam some laps and am now having a cocktail. But as always I take a few minutes to check TD. 

Btw. A few women told me. " Hair makes a dog, not a man"   :smiley laughing: . Maybe time for a knuckle shaving..? :Smile: 

Nuttin but love for ya man..

----------


## Edmond

What do lesbians call Mendy?

----------


## Steady

Don't know but I reckon Nev would be up for another squat challenge

----------


## OhOh

> I just modified my Hilux suspension to raise it up a few inches more.


How is your sump guard plate holding up?

----------


## Edmond

> Don't know


Well hung.

----------


## armstrong

You just got home Mendy your misses should be all over your hairy arms! Your hands shouldn't need to be anywhere near your cock!

----------


## katie23

@mendip - good morning! Enjoy your first weekend at home.

Good morning & happy Saturday to all!  :Smile: 

Btw, as to hair - I'd call that as incomplete evolution. On the same level as Neanderthal & Australopithecus.  :Smile: 

I once saw some guys with back hair in a public swimming pool. My thoughts were "eww". No offense to Mendip, of course.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Saint Willy

Never you mind all them hairless fancy nancy boys, Mendip! Real mean have hair!

----------


## katie23

^that looks alright, sexy even. I don't like a carpet-ful of chest hair & the accompanying back hair. Personal preference though - I'm sure some ladies like their men extra hairy.  :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

> Real mean have hair!


the gaydar just pinged - do you find the manscaped bloke attractive willy ?

----------


## Mendip

^ It is strange Baldrick. I post some good advice about protecting your chickens but all these guys talk about is my body hair. I can understand Katie's interest but the rest of them? I thought I must have logged into Grindr by mistake. 

Anyway, I have normal hair on my chest, and a bit of extra hair on my legs, arms and fingers. None on my back. End of. 

I have to agree with KingWilly... that pic is pretty accurate.


Ootai, the Korat traffic is typically like this for the school run. After being away for nearly 7 months everything I do entails a job... every clock in the house needed batteries... try and wash the windscreen and find that the water tank is empty... and so it goes on. I'll get there in the end.



This was my hope but I fear it is weeks away. Coco and Yogi remain very close after their unseemly conduct a few months ago and Yogi doesn't seem to mind that Coco is now neutered.



But it's not all bad... I've had peas with every meal this week! Pla nin fish and chips last night. But I need to get this stuff back on the dinner thread. We're making steak and kidney pie today.



And look what arrived in the post today... Thank you TeakDoor!

----------


## strigils

Mendip, if i was having to negotiate that traffic twice daily, stuck in jams i'd just get on the step through.

----------


## Stumpy

Thanks on the how to keep your chickens healthy tip.  I killed and ate all ours and there will be no more chickens at this house, except for a few neighbor ones that accidently fly into our yard and my lab makes a quick kill and I toss it in the trash before they ask  "have you seen a rooster in your yard"  

I have been thinking about another dog.  A yellow lab.  Inquired on a few puppies. Just haven't decided.  Our 2 have bonded very well and 3rd might upset that balance.  My wife mentioned a little toy yappin worthless rodent dog.  I said Find one cheap.  Our lab will kill it in a few days.   :smiley laughing: 

How is the pool?  Gardener have it ready for a dip?

Btw. I remember that Korat traffic right by "The Mall"  terrible.  Lights all signal out of cadence backing it up.  Why don't you take that bypass road on the left or has everyone figured out that short cut.   :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> How is your sump guard plate holding up?


Perfect. Actually went over a crazy dog about 3 weeks ago. Just walked out in front of me. I think it was a planned suicide on the dogs part. Actually having the skid plates stops the animal from getting its legs all caught up in the suspension and transmission cross member and they just bounce around underneath rather than be dragged for a few hundred meters. Before anyone asks....Yes I stopped. No there was no one around to ask who's dog it was.  I left. Thankfully my wife wasn't with me or I would have had to go to the temple....

I raised up my truck a bit more as I want to add 33" tires

----------


## OhOh

> I want to add 33" tires


That will warrant a photo once you have them installed.

Will that not bugger up the front drive shaft CV joints?

----------


## Stumpy

> That will warrant a photo once you have them installed.
> 
> Will that not bugger up the front drive shaft CV joints?


Naah.  I already added the longer control links to keep the CV shafts at an acceptable angle.  This additional lift is re arched rear leaf springs and 2" spacers between the shock assy top plate and the factory perch.  It's more like a leveling kit but adds more lift for tire clearance without changing the entire front suspension geometry.  

Hiya Mendy.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## David48atTD

> And look what arrived in the post today... Thank you TeakDoor!


Mate, I'd be carefull ... looks like it came with a STD warning label.

I'll laugh at my own joke as it seems you won't ...  :rofl:

----------


## David48atTD

> Naah.  I already added the longer control links to keep the CV shafts at an acceptable angle.  This additional lift is re arched rear leaf springs and 2" spacers between the shock assy top plate and the factory perch.  It's more like a leveling kit but adds more lift for tire clearance without changing the entire front suspension geometry.


But can it do this?

----------


## Mendip

> You just got home Mendy your misses should be all over your hairy arms! Your hands shouldn't need to be anywhere near your cock!


Miss_us_... I've only got the one, thank God.

We've been married quite a while now mate, I'm lucky to get a cup of tea.






> Mendip, if i was having to negotiate that traffic twice daily, stuck in jams i'd just get on the step through.


I won't ride a bike in Thailand mate, especially with my daughter on board. Besides, there's another classmate on the school runs. He's half Welsh but I still think I should keep him safe.





> How is the pool?  Gardener have it ready for a dip?


Yes, he's done a good job. It's 14 years old now and the vinyl liner has become a bit stained, but not bad for being so old I think.

Today was the first time I've had a chance to use it but the water was 26 degrees... a bit cold for me these days.

I still managed a gin and tonic though, albeit a precarious one. With real lemon as well!



And a few action shots...







You've got no pink flamingo JP?

----------


## Saint Willy

> You've got no pink flamingo JP?


I don't think he does!

----------


## strigils

> I won't ride a bike in Thailand mate, especially with my daughter on board. Besides, there's another classmate on the school runs. He's half Welsh but I still think I should keep him safe.


Point taken, i've come off 3 times, once in Koh Chang in the wet and twice skidding on grit in the road when cars have just pulled out.

I think you need a pool addition though

----------


## Looper

Is that a flamingo's tail Mendip or are you just pleased to see the wife after 8 months



You need a little remote control Arleigh-Burke class guided missile destroyer to pull you round the pool and back to the swim up bar for a refill.

----------


## Stumpy

> You've got no pink flamingo JP?


No but wife bought that big damn duck.  I just have a 2 drink holder float tube. 

My pool temp today was about 28c. 

Nice pics buddy.   :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

Nice pool and pics mate, don't the dogs jump in and cool off?

Mine would be first in that pool.

----------


## Dillinger

You utter kunt :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> You utter kunt


Jaysus, he spent six months getting to that pool!

----------


## Dillinger

I hope the gardener over chlorinated

----------


## Mendip

^^ I thought that was a bit strong as well.

And as for 'over chlorinating'... I mean... wtf?  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

Why would you need to over chlorinate Dil?  Do you thing Mendy is pissing in the pool?  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Dillinger

^ another pool dosser.

It's no good for you, too much sun.

----------


## lom

> It's no good for you, too much sun.


  :Smile: 

Britain, weather forecast for next week:

*Monday:*                     Very cold and windy with snow showers, heaviest  in the east and northeast with significant accumulations in places.  Sunniest across western parts.
*Outlook for Tuesday to Thursday:*                 Very cold with a significant wind chill. Snow showers  feeding inland from eastern coasts. Potential for cloudier conditions  bringing snow to parts of the west or southwest on Thursday.

----------


## Mendip

> Point taken, i've come off 3 times, once in Koh Chang in the wet and twice skidding on grit in the road when cars have just pulled out.
> 
> I think you need a pool addition though


Way ahead of you Strigils.. been there done that. 



These inflatables don't last long... soon get a puncture and deflate.

You ever had a Pink Flamingo go down on you JP?

----------


## Stumpy

I swam 10 laps and then had me a few Makers Mark 46 Bourbons.

Lovely day

----------


## Stumpy

> You ever had a Pink Flamingo go down on you JP?


Gotta tell ya Mendy...Never had a Flamingo(and wont.).  I am a simple guy..



Double drink holder floater.

----------


## bsnub

> Double drink holder floater.


River run. 

Shit it has been awhile since I used an old truck inner tube to float down a river. Now days you can just get one of those things.  :Smile: 

I still remember the damn valve grinding into my backside after I flipped it in some rapids.

----------


## Mendip

> Britain, weather forecast for next week:
> 
> *Monday:*
> 
>                      Very cold and windy with snow showers, heaviest  in the east and northeast with significant accumulations in places.  Sunniest across western parts.
> *Outlook for Tuesday to Thursday:*
> 
>                  Very cold with a significant wind chill. Snow showers  feeding inland from eastern coasts. Potential for cloudier conditions  bringing snow to parts of the west or southwest on Thursday.


Ha ha, exactly Lom. The only pool Dill will see is a pool of piss on Brummie High Street next Friday night... oh no he won't, sorry, it's lockdown!

Betcha you wish you'd bought a lined shell suit now before you moved back up north!  :Smile: 


But anyway, one thing that has amazed me after being away for nearly 7 months is how easy it would be to fall back in to old habits. 

The fukkin gardener is pissing me off. He says 'Do you want Ya Dong'. So I say no. Then he says, 'OK, _mai pen rai,_ I leave a bottle in my fridge', and he fukks off out.

I mean, wtf can you do?



I guess the good thing is how easily my lovely young daughter slipped into my usual evening position while I was away. OK, so she's not on the Leo and Ya Dong yet but she's showing real promise. Jump forward 43 years and that is me! How proud can a father get. 

She also loves steak and kidney pie.

----------


## bsnub

Looks like paradise for me aside from the unbearable heat and humidity.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> River run. 
> 
> Shit it has been awhile since I used an old truck inner tube to float down a river. Now days you can just get one of those things. 
> 
> I still remember the damn valve grinding into my backside after I flipped it in some rapids.


Yeah Man. River run was the perfect Lake Mead Spring Break drunk floater.

But I remember those black inner tubes with the long ass kidney poking valve stem with a metal cap  :smiley laughing:  

Those were both great for water and snow.

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## Joe 90

> The only pool Dill will see is a pool of piss on Brummie Street next Friday night... oh no, sorry, it's lockdown!


 :smiley laughing: 
Dill had a good run at living the dream lifestyle, reality in the UK is a comedown but just as rewarding in different ways.

I do miss swimming though, we used to go a couple of times a week and the local water park every month.

Bloody lockdown has temporarily stopped that hobby.

Its payback for all those food pics we posted while you were starving in quarantine  :Smile:  Have a beer floating in your pool and spare a thought for us wankers in the freezing UK. 





> I still remember the damn valve grinding into my backside


The rest is history.






> I swam 10 laps and then had me a few Makers Mark 46 Bourbons.


Very nice, wanker :Smile:

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## strigils

> I still remember the damn valve grinding into my backside


 :smiley laughing:  and never went back

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## bsnub

> and never went back


How would you fucking know? You never set foot here on the west coast.

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## bsnub

You have never been to the US, so you have no idea wtf I am talking about.

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## Dillinger

> Dill had a good run at living the dream lifestyle, reality in the UK is a comedown but just as rewarding in different ways.
> 
> I do miss swimming though, we used to go a couple of times a week


I have a pool...come down :Smile: 





What part of Birmingham is that, Nev? :Smile:

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## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: 

The beast from the east part 2 has started up here, I'm not going anywhere apart from my fridge and sofa.
The dog can take himself for a walk and pick up his own 3 bags full of hand warming shite.

Besides there's a big match on today :bananaman:

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## strigils

> What part of Birmingham is that


The vehicles have wheels, so the posh part.

How is Dillette getting used to the UK and the cold?, bet its a shock and given the COVID situation even weirder for her.

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## Mendip

^^^ Lovely mate... so long as the daughter's smiling nothing else matters.

Good job the pool is heated!

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## Bogon

> What part of Birmingham is that, Nev?


Trick question.

Not in Brum. Were you visiting family?

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## lom

> Were you visiting family?


A prison?  :Smile:

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## Dillinger

> How is Dillette getting used to the UK and the cold?, bet its a shock and given the COVID situation even weirder for her.


You'd think she'd lived here all her life. If you ask her where the best place to live is, she will tell you England over Malaysia and Thailand. The cold doesn't phase her at all, unlike her mother :Smile: 

As for the covid situation, she had that all last year with much tighter restrictions, so is used to it and the home schooling, although that along with her specs, dental and medical fees is all lovely and free now. Plus she's getting taught by proper teachers with degrees, not your average tefler chancer like Armstrong, Topper and Lu. :Smile:

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## Joe 90

> The cold doesn't phase her at all, unlike her mother


That is a moan you will unfortunately have to get used to.

Theres a bloke in our village who's son went to a private International school in Thailand till he was 11.

Relocated back to the UK and found his child in all the lowest classes for every subject at a uk state secondary school.
Not an isolated example imhe either.

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## strigils

> You'd think she'd lived here all her life


Good on her, and you all as a family. I genuinely think its for the best for her, she'll enjoy the trips back to Thailand and all the other travel outside the UK - once the chinky flu blows over. Anyway good on you. Now, at least being in striking distance you can teach Ch---Joe to cook,  :Smile:

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## Joe 90

> being in striking distance you can teach Ch---Joe to cook


 :smiley laughing: 

I'm gonna be Dills personal fitness trainer when this lockdown shite is over.

Get yourself a bike and some lycra Dillmeister :Smile:

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## strigils

^ Beast that fuker, Mr Motivator his Arse. Ch-Joe

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## Stumpy

Hiya Mendy. Good Morning.  Funny reading about all these guys freezing their ass's off in snow and rain and we are chilling in our pools with Pink Flamingos, Yellow Ducks and double drink holder floaters.  

Time for my bike ride and there is no poove Lycra gear worn by this rider.   :Smile:

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## Wakey

Is there a lockdown end date yet?

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## Mendip

^ Lockdown where?

There's no lockdown in Korat but I think restaurants and bars just have to close a bit early.

Rumour has it that Bangkok bars will be open from March 1st, which luckily coincides with my passport renewal trip next Tuesday!

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## Wakey

Oh my bad I thought you are in United K.

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## Wakey

> Theres a bloke in our village who's son went to a private International school in Thailand till he was 11.
> 
> Relocated back to the UK and found his child in all the lowest classes for every subject at a uk state secondary school.
> Not an isolated example imhe either.


Most of them are uncertified and not equivalent to United K state schools. They employ unqualified teachers and NQTS.

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## armstrong

> ^ Lockdown where?
> 
> There's no lockdown in Korat but I think restaurants and bars just have to close a bit early.
> 
> Rumour has it that Bangkok bars will be open from March 1st, which luckily coincides with my passport renewal trip next Tuesday!


Many are open now but a few are waiting until after mama bucha day

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## armstrong

> Most of them are uncertified and not equivalent to United K state schools. They employ unqualified teachers and NQTS.


Weird term of phrase.

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## cyrille

> Weird term of phrase.


So was that.

Maybe you mean 'turn of phrase'?

But yeah, nobody says 'United K', wakey.

I think that's what Armstrong means.

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## armstrong

Their really is know way off Boeing

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