#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Farming & Gardening In Thailand >  >  Poll: How much trouble am I in?

## Bettyboo

So, the missus went to the temple at 5am, not home yet.

The landlord called me about 9ish and said that she was bringing some Burmese workers around to tidy up the garden; I said okay.

The missus has cultivated a nice 'herb garden' in one quarter of the garden, over the last year or so - buying herbs from the market, stopping at the roadside to pick some, bringing some from her hometown, etc; I forgot about that and started to piss around on the internet, on here, instead.

The Burmese guys have been cutting the trees and using the lawnmover etc since 10am. I just remembered about the herb garden, so I went down for a look - the 2 of 'em were smiling at me as I looked at the totally levelled dirt area. So I smiled back, as you do if you've been here long enough...

Might as well make this a poll. 

How much trouble am I in? She'll be home any time now.

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## bsnub

^ yer fucked.

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## Bettyboo

^ I tend to gree with you, mate.  :Sad:

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## withnallstoke

Reckon you will be well in it.
If you haven't already, start drinking.
When she gets back, just smile a lot.

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## Davis Knowlton

Totally fucked. Wouldn't want to be you, Boo.

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## kingwilly

oh crap.

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## watdog

middle option on the vote.

she will be hot but realize things could be worse. if you are lucky she will be up your ass for a day or so. otherwise it goes into a file to be brought up at least monthly for the rest of your godforsaken life. i wish you well.

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## sabaii sabaii

Get out of there sharpish, say you weren't there at the time, otherwise

YOUR ASS IS GRASS !!!!!!!!!

 :Smile:

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## Loy Toy

I went to rip out some Phat Prakachet I thought were weeds and my missus almost took my head off.

Fok around with most anything else except for a Thai's food source.

Your history Betty.

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## Davis Knowlton

Wot Sabaii said is your only slim chance! (Of course, the workers will drop you in it to save themselves).

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## spudge

Clearly the landlord's fault; she brought the labour and didn't supervise them!  :mid:

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## Bettyboo

Yes, well - you are, of course, all correct.

It seems such a mild little error on my part, but it is, no doubt, a big deal to her and I will see just what a big deal some time soon.

It gets worse.

I just remembered that I sent her out on some errands today (suggested them last night), moving some money between accounts, food shopping, etc, so she will be well pissed off after a full and long day's hard work on her part - all I had to do, I am imagining this from her point of view, is do nothing; keep the status quo, don't destroy anything...

I hope the two Burmese guys leave soon. And I hope that the landlord doesn't come around to check the work while the missus is in; the landlord is a friend of mine.

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## Davis Knowlton

^Do you have a balcony? How high?

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## Kurgen

Get a sexy bird round the house to give you a full body naked oil massage. When the wife walks in on you she won't give a shit about the herb garden, I promise.

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## Strongarm

Pub, NOW!

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## sabaii sabaii

Well, you can kiss goodbye to all those beers I was gonna buy you down The Pintsman next week  :Smile: 

This is the kind of Deep Shit you are in Betty




Except a French Polisher ( Butterfly ) won't be able to save your bacon :Smile:

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## Bettyboo

^^^^ just 1st floor (2nd to you, mate).

Now, it gets better, or worse...

After a couple of hours, I remembered about the herb garden and rushed down to check; it was in place. Everything else had been cut down, but they'd left the herb corner, so I thought, good lads - smarter than Thais, probably of country stock. And I left it at that. You see my error don't you!

Then a couple of hours later, I was having a shower and heard the mother fuking industrial lawn mover revving away again; I couldn't get downstairs for 5 minutes, and by the time I had, they'd levelled the final part of the garden; obviously leaving the tougher job for last, after their little break...

I have nobody to blame but meself. I was stupid...  :Sad: 

I really feel sorry for the missus too - she was often to be seen in the garden (sometimes in the middle of the night when she fancied her favourite hot curry) picking herbs in the special patch, herbs that can't easily be found locally...

Did I mention that her period started yesterday?

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## Kurgen

Do not fall asleep, EVER!

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## aging one

I sure hope your wife is not like mine, not only are you in deep shit, but as has been pointed out this small mistake will be held over your head for the rest of your life.  

Go buy some oil of ipecac the stuff makes you shit like you have never before. Tell her it came on just as the workers arrived. Hope the stuff kicks in before she gets home.

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## Bettyboo

^ I suspect my wife is less ameanable and reasonable than yours; likely more violent too.

^^ I was wondering if she'll be angry enough to stab me - I think not, but wouldn't be surprised.

I've tried several preemptive calls, kinda begging, 'sorry, I've made a terrible mistake', snivelling calls; the sort a total weakling would make. But, no answer.

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## Davis Knowlton

^This ain't gonna be pretty.......Many years ago, my then Lao girlfriend left for the weekend. As I was staying at her dump of a flat (I was working on the border at the time and, being in the midst of a divorce from the farang from hell, had no place else to stay while in Bangkok). I took her to the bus station, and lovingly saw her off. She showed back up four hours later, highly pissed. Bus had blown a piston - trip postponed. To my great sorrow, I was in her bed, with her roommate, when she returned. I offer this little tale only to let you know even the most horrible situations can be survived. It doesn't mean you will, but there is at least a chance. Maybe.

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## Marmite the Dog

Not your fault if she hired a bunch of retarded monkeys to do something and them left them to get on with it.

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## Bettyboo

^ she didn't. I managed everything.

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## aging one

oh fuck me mate, I wish you all the luck in the world.

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## Bettyboo

*** UPDATE *** part 1

She just called me. I was pathetic. The most pathetic I could muster.

She listened to the story, where I accepted total blame, was clearly very concerned, clearly upset myself and realized what a grave error I had made.

After I had completed my patheticness, there was a 10 second pause where I could hear her breathing getting heavier and more erratic; towards the final few seconds I said her name two or three times. Then the phone went dead.

I'll give you update part 2 when she arrives home...

I might just get the silent treatment now, if I'm lucky.

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## hazz

I don't want to over dramatise it. But it was nice knowing you and we will make sure you get a good send off after the funeral service. Glad I'm not in your shoes, there is a slim chance that she will come back from the temple in a serene mood and just ignore you with the silent treatment for a month or two.

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## Little Chuchok

Rule no 1.Do as the Thais , make it her fault in a firm but slightly aggressive manner....no matter what.It sounds like it may be to late for this now though.....you're fucked!  :Smile:

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## harrybarracuda

I'd clear the house of cutlery and anything that is heavy enough to be a dangerous projectile, while you still can.

 :Smile:

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## Kurgen

Life as a eunuch has a plus side.

Let us know what it is.

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## Bettyboo

Some very good advice here.

See this is why western women are better; I'd just pop down the pub, tell her it was no big deal, not to be a drama queen, and leave 30 quid for her to go to the garden centre. 

Here, I'm fuked. No recourse. No options. & all I did was nothing...

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## hazz

not wishing to seem heartless. betty can I have your linguistics books if you don't make it?

shall we have some more polls the most likely mode of death and  the most likely official cause?

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## Bettyboo

I reckon Mr Slaps might steal this idea for a chapter in his short story book... It's amazing how little nothings on a Sunday afternoon can turn into a localized family-orientated Hiroshima...

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## The Muffinman

Fuckety fuck fuck Boo, What have you done?

Fully expecting a R.I.P. under your username by tonite.

You are so fucking dead!

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## hazz

humm. talking about japan. why not simply behead the gardeners, use the bodies as fertiliser in  the new herb garden and show her their heads when she asked you how it all happened.

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## Davis Knowlton

Mods: Can some kind mod move this thread from Farming And Gardening to Obituaries? Thanks. :Sorry1:

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## sabaii sabaii

> After I had completed my patheticness, there was a 10 second pause where I could hear her breathing getting heavier and more erratic; towards the final few seconds I said her name two or three times. Then the phone went dead.


Oh My Buddha.

It's a shame I'm off out fishing and to watch the Manc derby. It would have been fun seeing what time your computer gets logged out at. :Smile: 

All the Best Betty, hope to see you later


If I were you, I would start Googling for  gardening centres in Bangkok :Smile:

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## hazz

Betty, just a thought. you have laid the foundations and floors of your new house haven't you

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## Davis Knowlton

I can't believe you surrendered and admitted all, you, you, French person, you. Au revoir, Mme Boo.

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## Bettyboo

^ it's what I've seen Thais do when they are really in the shit, thought it might work. But, maybe the slightly aggressive denial that Thais do would've been a better option, as per LC's suggestion - too late now.




> why not simply behead the gardeners


Funnily enough, or not, they are relaxing, feet up (quite literally), under a tree, drinking a bottle of beer - job well done...

If the missus gets home before the landlord picks them up then that sight will just add insult to injury, won't it!




> I would start Googling for gardening centres


If she was western, yes. But, herbs from her hometown can only be found in her hometowm, you know that. Good luck Man C.  :Smile: 




> you have laid the foundations and floors of your new house haven't you


No.

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## hazz

^I wouldn't bother going to the building site until they are, even if by some mirical you survive tonight.

I've got a new aviator for you:



I have an idea. tell her that for such an unlucky think to happen to her whilst she was making merit at the temple, clearly shows that she has built up some serious levels of bad  karma and this incident was simply the universe telling her that she need to goto a jungle monastery immediately for 1 or 2 weeks to become a nun to restore her karmic balance before something far more serious happens.

I can go and get her a ticket for the overnight train from sam sen station  to udon tini tonight if you like. leaves at 9pm, she can be at that famous temple where that famous  monk died  last year for 8am tomorrow morning

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## sabaii sabaii

> Funnily enough, or not, they are relaxing, feet up (quite literally), under a tree, drinking a bottle of beer - job well done...
> 
> If the missus gets home before the landlord picks them up then that sight will just add insult to injury, won't it!


You better hope they are picked up shortly, or I can see them getting some Overtime, digging a deep rectangular hole  :Smile:

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## Bettyboo

I think some of you are enjoying this thread more than you should. I won't point any fingers, suffice to say: Northerners.

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## hazz

Its addictive and we all got a big dose watching the billion baht civil servant. You've just become the next fix :Smile:

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## Davis Knowlton

^^Don't forget septics :smiley laughing:  :rofl:  ::usaflag1::

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## Bung

If she gives you any grief tell her to go fuck herself.

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## Bettyboo

> .......Many years ago, my then Lao girlfriend left for the weekend. As I was staying at her dump of a flat (I was working on the border at the time and, being in the midst of a divorce from the farang from hell, had no place else to stay while in Bangkok). I took her to the bus station, and lovingly saw her off. She showed back up four hours later, highly pissed. Bus had blown a piston - trip postponed. To my great sorrow, I was in her bed, with her roommate, when she returned. I offer this little tale only to let you know even the most horrible situations can be survived. It doesn't mean you will, but there is at least a chance. Maybe.


You, Sir, are a very bad man!

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## The Fresh Prince

Good thread, I've got thr family round soI've been drinking dince 8am. They are goid siortd though,

What was my answeres to this thred?

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## Davis Knowlton

^^In my defense, the roommate was very cute, in kind of a squatty body Lao way.

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## Bettyboo

^^ you were gonna get a cab round here and take all the blame for everything yourself.  :Smile: 

^ no such squatty kinda Laos way exists - you are (or at least were) a dog, Sir!




> there is a slim chance that she will come back from the temple in a serene mood


Not my wife, on her period, there isn't!




> shall we have some more polls the most likely mode of death


I don't think she'll kill me or even want to, but I think there's a real chance that she'll kill one or both of the cats to teach me a lesson; kinda 'you hurt me, I'll hurt you more' Thaistyle logic.




> If she gives you any grief tell her to go fuck herself.


That is always an option although not one I'd use because it is my fault after all, and I'm too scared of her reprisal.

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## hazz

^^that was different, she was probably more angry at her room mate than you. Betty's problem is that its all on him.


we have lots of spare cats if you need any replacements.

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## Davis Knowlton

^You are a wise man. The roommate did indeed take much of the blast, allowing me to escape in one piece.

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## misskit

You're dead meat Bettyboo. She's got until she gets home to think of a way to bump you off and get your lifeless body buried in the remains of the herb garden.

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## Davis Knowlton

Great Sunday afternoon post, Boo. At least for the rest of us. Sent you a green, but it was returned stamped 'Poster Deceased'.

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## Bettyboo

^^ ahh a woman's touch to the thread.  :Smile:  Same vibe though...  :Sad:  Was hoping for a different viewpoint...

^ I haven't seen you enjoy a thread so much in quite a while.

The landlord said to me: 'No need to make them lunch because I've given them money to buy something from the little restaurant down the road'.

They must've been distracted by the little ma and pa shop on the way to the restaurant because they didn't have time to eat anything and they came back with beer.

I don't think that helped.

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## palexxxx

> shall we have some more polls the most likely mode of death and  the most likely official cause?


The official cause in this country will always be suicide wouldn't it?

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## Loy Toy

> 'No need to make them lunch because I've given them money to buy something from the little restaurant down the road'.


Most Asian's know what most herbs and spice plants look like and they probably sold off what they ripped out down at the Ma and Pa shop.

In fact go down there now, purchase them back, re-plant them and you may find your way out of this mess.

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## Bettyboo

^ nope, they destroyed everything.

The workers have gone, so I went out for a close inspection; it's a fukin apocalypse out there. Really, you can't imagine the damage they've done to every tree, every root, every blade of grass; the cats won't be playing in the garden anymore, nothing to play in...

The Americans neeedn't have bothered spending billions on their Scorched Earth armies and bombs, all they needed was 2 Burmese workers with a machete, an industrial size lanmower and 20 baht each for lunch... 

It's worse than I originally thought.  :Sad:

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## hazz

^what on earth possessed you to get these guys in and then let them loose on their own 'initiative'?  Oh well too late now. 

If you survive tonight, you'd better arrange for some herbs to be shipped down from her home town and goto to the garden center for the rest. Remember you cannot go there to get them yourself, as the foundations to your house are not complete and you down want to take the risk of becoming becoming the foundations

I can offer you some chilli seeds, including the ghost chilli, if you feel like starting afresh

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## aging one

> The Americans neeedn't have bothered spending billions on there Scorched Earth armies and bombs, all they needed was 2 Burmese workers with a machete, an industrial size lanmower and 20 baht each for lunch...


Now if that is not green material I dont know what is.

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## FlyFree

One of three options:
Go buy her a Merc afore she returns, have a heart attack - not faked - or fuck off pronto.

Dunno how sure the heart attack is, she may still kick the shits outta you.

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## Tickiteboo

Boo ? Boo you there? oh dear I think she may well have returned. Boo you alright? Do a runner whilst you've still got a chance!   :Smile:

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## ltnt

Blame her!  Its all her fault!  Its not your job to push the help!  Why didn't she post her garden off like a real person would?

Reverse psychology Boo...its not my fault your fucking garden got trashed by those nincompoops from Burma.  I was busy working trying to earn a living for you and I.  How else are we going to build your little shack in the far eastern provinces?

Works for me most of the time. :smiley laughing:

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## Marmite the Dog

> she didn't. I managed everything.


Serves you right then! Take it like a man.  :Smile:

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## Marmite the Dog

> she'll kill one or both of the cats to teach me a lesson


Should kill the fucking horrible things regardless.

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## Davis Knowlton

Nothing from Boo for 54 minutes. I think she's home. RIP.

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## Mid

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 25 (9 members and 16 guests)     

Mid*, Tickiteboo, Bettyboo, Wonton, Nabeel, trev, phunphin, rob, Strongarm

fess up Boo  :Smile:

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## Davis Knowlton

^Could have been looking at the thread at the time of his unfortunate demise.....

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## blue

she might not even notice
before 

after

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## Strongarm

We left our House in Australia with friends (a couple) to look after for three months while we are over here. The ONLY thing my mrs said to the young couple as we handed them the keys was DON'T LET MY FUCKIN HERB GARDEN DIE.

So Bettyboo, you're fucked!

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## Mid

> ^ Could have been looking at the thread at the time of his unfortunate demise.....


indeed , still listed so obviously left the computer open on this page ...............

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## Bettyboo

*** Operation Herb Garden ***

She came back.

I heard the car pulling into the drive and rushed down to take control of the situation, to implement Operation Herb Garden - what Davis might call the French/Italian Full Frontal Offensive.

Waiting behind the semi-closed front door, listening for the click of the boot release, I timed my exit to perfection as I scurried out and swiftly hooked up all the shopping, sprinting back inside to catch her up before she completed her march to the back door; the garden door. I threw the shopping bags onto the kitchen work-surface and in a Basil Faltyesque manouvre placed my shoulder infront of hers the second she opened the back door, pointing my arm across her at the devastation and blurted:
"Those fukin stupid Burmese idiots! I told them, I told them several times to leave that area alone. Why the landlord employees these Burmese idiots is beyond me" Then in a hushed and speedy voice adding: 'Ofcourse,myThaiisn'tverygoodsoyoucan'tfullyblamet  hemiftheydidn'tunderstand.' "The Burmese idiots."

"Right, I'll clean the car then." I ran off and started to do just that.
(She loves a clean car, the first thing she does upon her return is to clean the car. Sometimes she asks me to help her, and I tell her I'm busy I'll do it in a while, then she does it by herself...)

"Brush the dust off first, don't just clean it quickly like you usually do."
"Yes, dear."

So I start the stupid Thai way, well the wife's way...  :Sad: , of cleaning the car by brushing the dust off first; I've always refused to do this, but on this occassion I took the care and time (and stupidity) to brush the dust off first.

"Don't go too quickly, get the dust off first or it scratches the paint." She shouts out the window.
"Yes, dear." And smile back to her, don't hold the gaze too long.

30 minutes later, yes I took my time, I dried the car off, went inside, unpacked the shopping, sweating perfusely as I went, smiled again, didn't hold her gaze again, and went up for a shower.

When I came out, yes I took my time, she said: "Enjoy in your merit."
I said: "Satiiit." (fuking hate saying it, refuse to actually, unless I'm in the doghouse) and towelled meself down.

5 minutes later, she brought in some sushi she'd bought at the market, and told me how her stomach felt better than this morning (major help there, me thinks...).

Job done. Top banana.

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## Mid

smells of delayed reaction ..............

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## blue

is that it ?
think I'LL wait for the directors cut alternative ending

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## Bettyboo

I call that MILDLY.

We were all wrong.

Or is this just a ploy?

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## Strongarm

Do a quick audit of all the known weapons in the house

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## Bettyboo

> is that it ? think I'LL wait for the directors cut alternative ending


I know, I know, I feel a pleasant sense of anti-climax meself.

We'll have to wait for MrSlap's director's cut for a better ending; I just tell it like it is. Sorry to leave a limp ending for you all...  :Smile:

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## hazz

so no need for the funeral march then

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## Davis Knowlton

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy. This ain't over, not by a long shot. My first ex-wife, in moments like this, used to smile sweetly and whisper,'You're a big, mean fucker, but you've got to sleep sometime'. Sleep VERY lightly. If possible without exacerbating the situation, behind a locked and barred door.

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## Mid

has the good lady actually seen the devastation for herself ?

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## hazz

^It was a bit dark when she got back so....... may be the funeral march will be on after all

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## Bettyboo

It was just getting dark as she came back, and she didn't go outside. Remember she'd been up since before 5am, and she does look physically drained and about to fall asleep. This has all worked out well for me thusfar.

You lot all seem so upset. Why?  :Smile:

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## Bettyboo

Maybe I just know Thai culture well and managed this situation to perfection.

Maybe...

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## misskit

^Worried about you, BB. You are letting your guard down. She gonna get you.  :Smile:

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## somtamslap

> We'll have to wait for MrSlap's director's cut for a better ending;


 Betsy, would you prefer to be buggred to death with a large root vegetable or dismembered with a pair of garden shears. The choice is yours.. :Smile:

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## Bettyboo

^ both are interesting; I'm willing to leave the big decisions in your very capable hands.

^^ yes, this isn't over.

She has been doing some bad today; worse than wot I did! That's what this is about - it's the only logical deduction!

I'll be needing to confront her about this...

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## Bettyboo

The numbers on this thread are dropping like a stone, now! You bastards wanted the first TD online murder, didn't you? Come on, admit it!

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## Thetyim



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## palexxxx

Not over by a long shot.  

I think you made a bad tactical error in prior warning  her.  She's had time to think of how she'll handle it on the way home.  She's lulled you into a false sense of security.  Be afraid,  very very afraid.

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## Bettyboo

I just went downstairs cleaning up the kitchen a little bit, she looks fine; better than usual actually.

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## hazz

> The numbers on this thread are dropping like a stone, now! You bastards wanted the first TD online murder, didn't you? Come on, admit it!



not at all. I just wanted your books; after all its not like you would have needed them anymore and its what you would have wanted.

Tomorrow will the clincher. if you gave her the impression that its worse than it actually is.... then she might be relieved to see its not so bad. Rather like how BP should have handled their leak. Unfortunately from what you have been saying.... apart from toxic chemical contamination of the soil, it could not be worse.

she is defiantly going to think of someway for you to pay for this. One way or another.... she be eyeing a new car lately?

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## grasshopper

You say she was just in the kitchen cleaning up a bit?  Did you clear out the blunt and sharp objects beforehand?

Was it the Bard who said "Hell hath no fury like a woman deherbed", or should that be "unherbed" as in unhinged?

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## Bettyboo

^ indeed.  :Smile: 

I did put the knives away before she came home. Now she is asleep, in the spare room. Which is just fine, normal too on a temple day...

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## FlyFree

A little too normal, isn't it.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Now she is asleep, in the spare room. Which is just fine, normal too on a temple day...


How can that be normal. The Midget sleeps with me every night without fail and has a very thorough wash just in case I'm feeling a bit frisky (like I am tonight).

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## sabaii sabaii

Get in there ROONEY!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOHOOO Kompany sent off too,

I only nipped home to read this thread too.

Boo aint dead yet ? Ah well can't win em all I guess  :Smile:

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## aging one

"it aint over till its over" an old American baseball player said. I mean old, older than me by far. Cant believe he had a Thai wife way back then.  :Smile:

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## Mr Lick

In situations like yours BB it is always best to have contingency plans to hand which need to be followed to the letter.

No. 1 - Admit nothing

No 2 - Blame a pet cat/dog/budgerigar/chimpanzee etc: preferably neighbouring pets.

No 3 - If none in 2 then blame employees (good thnking on your part)

No 4 - If none in 2/3 then blame chemicals

No 5 - If none in 2/3/4 then blame parasites

No 6 - If none in 2/3/4/5 then blame the weather

No 7 - If none in 2/3/4/5/6 blame relations (yours only  :Smile: )

No. 8 - If none in 2/3/4/5/6/7 blame it on an act of god (insurance companies do this quite a bit)

No 9 - If none in 2/3/4/5/6/7/8 then go and visit a mate for a few days. (preferably before the arrival of 'she who must be obeyed')

No 10 - If all else fails then ram a savoury sausage up your backside and when she walks in the door say 'Hey baby, remember that bedroom conversation we had a couple of days ago, well i'm ready to give it a go!  :Smile:  Warning - this may only act as a slight distraction  :Smile: 

''Can i clean the car for you darling?'' is something i admit hadn't crossed my mind, but if it prevents permanent scarring then job done. 

I'm sure other members are very capable of adding a few more to 'Save the Farang formula'  :Smile:

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## klong toey

If it was me i would tell her i sold them for 2000 baht and give her the cash.

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## tsicar

> If it was me i would tell her i sold them for 2000 baht and give her the cash.


get pissed and give her the boot!


..i have just read about 104 posts on this thread, and to me, every single one of them was just another reminder NEVER, EVER to get married again!

why, oh, why would we subject ourselves to this kind of shit?
i am guessing that most replies were from married guys.
well, if you are shitting yourself about some darkies (that SHE hired in the first place, and i am guessing:YOU paid for ), cutting down her ganja patch, then just tell her to piss off and get yerself a new one!
this is THAILAND, ffs!

.... now, if SHE had organised the darkies to cut down YOUR ganja patch, that would be grounds for divorce under thai law as well!

.. a win-win situation either way!

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## the dogcatcher

You're screwed.
I let someone drive a digger over Laosy's chilli patch.
No fucking sex for a week.
had to go for a pump out in Patters.

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## sabaii sabaii

> NEVER, EVER to get married again!


Tsicar, I like you, even though you seem so racist and in your face.

I like the way you call a spade a spade.

You kinda remind me of my big brother and dad

But to judge is harsh, I  could pick up on that quote of yours, but I won't.

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## Looper

> She listened to the story, where I accepted total blame, was clearly very concerned, clearly upset myself and realized what a grave error I had made


Strange, I thought denying all knowledge and claiming the burmese did it while you were out would be a textbook no-brainer in this situation.




> So I start the stupid Thai way, well the wife's way... , of cleaning the car by brushing the dust off first


Bad idea. If the dust is gritty brushing it off will scratch the paint. Better to wash it off.

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## sunsetter

come on betsy, lets have some piccies eh?

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## blue

Bettyboo


> *How much trouble am I in? *


A lot , 
everyone was expecting gratuitous  entertainment in the form of
violence  against your goodself, or at least a magnificent  hair dryer bollocking.
But instead  of that and  photos of you in accident and emergency ,
we were left with the  unsavory image of you  vacuuming   her car wearing a flowery apron ....

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## sabaii sabaii

^

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## Carnwadrick

It will never be forgotten; five years from now while you are sitting camly reading a book and having a nice cold beer she will look at you with that horrible expression that seems to indicate you are the lowest form of life and say "I can't believe you did that!" what? you will ask thinking you've finally been caught bonking the SIL..finally after 30 sleepless hours of confessing to everything under the sun she will tearfully tell you what, the herb garden you bastard!!
At least that's how it was with my first wife (Korean)

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## sabaii sabaii

^ haha

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## DrAndy

> Now she is asleep, in the spare room. Which is just fine, normal too on a temple day...


seems like there will be a continuous stream of temple days from now on

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## DrAndy

> we were left with the unsavory image of you vacuuming her car wearing a flowery apron ....


 
and her wearing the trousers in the spare room

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## oldest swinger

Good morning Boo. R U there? hello.....

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## misskit

Maybe he's out fertilizing the new herb patch


with his now decaying body.

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## ltnt

Perfect Boo, reverse Psychology works all the time.  I'd still keep the guard up and keep my story straight.  

Perhaps its a momentary lapse on her part due to the overly zealous Wat devotion and her menstrual cycle kicking in?  Perhaps a monk in sheep's clothing?

Wait at least three days as her mind is catching up with her body.  Cunning little bitches when they want to be.

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## withnallstoke

Has Betty taken less time than normal counting his bollocks this morning?

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## kingwilly

is betty here ?

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## Davis Knowlton

^ :Wall: Hiding behind the garden wall.

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## Marmite the Dog

> At least that's how it was with my first wife (Korean)


Koreans women are psychopaths. Korean 'men' are perennial victims.

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## Bettyboo

Thank you for all your advice and entertainment. And, I am quite sorry that the story didn't end as most/all of you had wished...

I might go downstairs and ask where the fuk is my lunch? It's 12:01!!!

Or, I might just cook myself something that doesn't include any herbs. Or, I could try a little joke; this'd be nicer with some of those herbs we used to have, haha.

Or, just make meself a bowl of cereal, I think that works best.

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## withnallstoke

> I am quite sorry that the story didn't end as most/all of you had wished...


Any chance you could get a Burmese team in to do some house rennovations/decorating/re-wiring next time your missus is at the temple. Get them to clean the car with wire wool and sandpaper on her return.
We, the reading public, demand gore, and lots of it, and all yours.


PS, i have some spare oregano (dried).

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## Bettyboo

> We, the reading public, demand gore, and lots of it, and all yours.


Yes indeed; that's clearly the thick and thin of it!

The missus has proved to be very much kinder and caring than you lot... (have I spooken too soon???)

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## sabaii sabaii

^ We can but hope. :Smile: 

What a damp squib this thread is turning out to be

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## Bettyboo

^ yes.  :Smile: 

I got more stress from the Man C sending off; more cheating from you lot...

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## hazz

> Originally Posted by withnallstoke
> 
> We, the reading public, demand gore, and lots of it, and all yours.
> 
> 
> Yes indeed; that's clearly the thick and thin of it!
> 
> The missus has proved to be very much kinder and caring than you lot... (have I spooken too soon???)


I don't think for one second that you expected an ounce of sympathy from us lot, or did you  :mid: 

you still haven't sent us any before and after photos..... with the lack of snuff action between you and your wife, we deserve some satisfaction, and garden snuff is better than nothing.

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## Bettyboo

^ I can't do a before shot, but if I can find the camera then I'll do an after shot; maybe a shot of a cat looking shocked amid his/her lack of jungle cover...

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## aging one

You did not sleep with her last night as I recall. Do you think you will sleep well tonight? :Smile:

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## good2bhappy

issan divorce?

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## Bettyboo

^ what's that?

^^ should be okay.  :Smile:

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## good2bhappy

knife in the back

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## Bettyboo

O

Makes sense... I don't think so, maybe she wasn't as attached to those herbs as I, and we all, thought.

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## sabaii sabaii

We shall see.

What time is Dinner ?
 :Smile:

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## Bettyboo

I've decided to make my own today...

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## sabaii sabaii

What colour is curry, when you have no turmeric ?

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## Bettyboo

^ My microwave curries (55 baht) are very nice, and ready in 60 seconds...  :Smile:

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## harrybarracuda

Just to lighten the mood, a bit of romance...

 A couple were Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. 



  Walking through the mall the surprised wife looked up and noticed her husband was nowhere to be seen; she was very upset because they had a lot to do. 


  She used her cell phone to call her husband because she was so upset, to ask him where he was. 



  The husband in a calm voice said, "Honey, remember the jewellery store we went into 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford, and I told you that one day I would get it for you?".   

  His wife said, crying, "Yes, I remember that jewellery store".

He said, "Well I'm in the bar next to it."


_rat-a-tat-*ching*_

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## mmdyer

You must have been in trouble

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## Bettyboo

I thought so, but as it turned out, not really...  :Smile: 

^^ an oldie, but a...

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## r1 pet

its not to late, play the sympathy card, self mutilation , and tell her a soi dog did it to you, expect to get a cool hand ion your fevered brow.

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## Bettyboo

^ not just yet... that'd be a very last resort.

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## OhOh

Herb and Spice Auction

We have recently acquired a world class herb collection. Many of hese plants have now become almost extinct and we doubt will ever be offered again. The collection took the original owner a lifetime to collect and was very sad to let them go.

PM for a list and prices.
Burma Enterprises.

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## Happy Dave

For fcuks sake !  just tell her that a couple of monks did it !

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## Bettyboo

^ then I would be in big trouble...  :Smile:

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