#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Living In Thailand Forum >  >  Sinsod & Mother in laws

## Bruno

I am engaged to be married with my tgf and consider myself quite fortunate - compared to previous relationships with Thai's - that this one hasn't suggested, or implied, that subsides her family. Her response is usually, "it's my mother, I can take care"

So almost 2 years on this has continued with no requests to help out the extended family. I have presented money before on occasion when we went to stay, but it wasn't a great deal of money. 

Now the subject of a wedding is in full swing, the conversation now leads to the arrangement of money to be presented on the day. I suggested - well it does rather seem like your bargaining - for a 50,000 baht dowry excluding the gold and countless bottles of booze for the local (I don't know who you are, but come and get pissed for free types).

She didn't really buy it, suggesting instead I put down 100,000 baht + gold and then afterwards we get to keep either the money of gold, leaving the rest for her mother to do with what she pleases - I actually suggested getting her a good health insurance plan and wacking that down amongst the money, but she thought it best to stick with the gold!!

I know some of you may not have had to pay for a sinsod, but I don't really mind to be honest because her mother is quite sweet and never made me feel as if I ought to help her out financially in anyway before so what do you think, good deal?

As it very much seems to be a transaction of sorts I'd thought you might to share your experiences when you got married and mother in laws

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## genghis61

at a guess ask a hundred people and a hundred different responses - or more. 

My gf's sister gets married in January - Thai/Thai marriage - and he is paying 175,000baht. 
About half this will go towards wedding costs, the rest kept by the old bat (father long deceased) and likely be invested in either leasing more land or buying more farm equipment for the contracting business.  
None will go directly back to the couple.

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## genghis61

^ I made it known that I would never pay - but was then told it wouldn't be expected anyway as I'd be taking on responsibility of the two kids from her previous marriage. Not considering it.

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## Marmite the Dog

I refused to buy my wife.

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## Jesus Jones

I didn't pay sinsod either as my wife's family suggested we spend it our our home. But if i'm not mistaken you'll probably claw most if not all the money back from donation by friends and family during the wedding.

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## Thormaturge

Bruno, thanks for the account of your wedding plans. swear I shall never forget the part about offering a health insurance policyin place of gold.

Nice try though.

I've heard some stories and yours is probably in the middle somewhere.  Not outrageously expensive and not cheap either.


Come back in ten years from now and tell us how long the marriage lasted, then we can tell you for sure whether you got a good deal or not.  If it lasts a lifetime (well, a decade or more) then this sort of money really doesn't matter.

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## kingwilly

Three days ago she was a girlfriend, now engaged ? 

Congrats

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## Bettyboo

I like Bruno.

It's up to you, mate...

I have paid nothing. I pay the bills, and (just like Socal) I'm very handsome so she should be lucky to have me. The missus did buy some gold for herself, and gave her mum some, and gave me some (I am very handsome indeed) - from her own money.

Actually, I like the health insurance idea, I've been meaning to sort out a policy for the missus, her mum, little sister and dad for a while, well years. Mine's done, obviously...

If it's linked to the wedding and the inlaws costs then I can understand why you'd want to compensate them; only fair. Personally, I would never have a wedding here because I hate the culture and everything about the place, thus any thoughts of actually commiting myself to the ghastly place would crush me, emotionally.

To be in a better position to help, I wanted to create a vision, so I googled BRUNO MARRIAGE PICS and git this:



I was more thinking of this:



Good luck.

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## nigelandjan

I think every case is different and you have to take some time to suss it all out.

        I had a look into the sin sod thingy to try to understand a bit behind it and apart from the face thing the only real use I understood it to be ( in the case of a foriengner whisking the daughter off to a foreign land ) was for the mother to keep the dosh so if after it all broke down and the daughter came home it was to be used to re settle her in some way.
    Bearing that in mind even though my MIL didnt want a penny I took the trouble to get an English speaker to sit down with us both at her home and explain to her 1. if or when I peg out what her daughter would come into
2. if the other thing divorce happened in English law still how well she would be taken care of.
  Having said that I treat them to nice holidays and have paid for aircon to be installed in the MIL,S bedroom ,,, she loves it and tells me an added bonus is the FIL hates it and now sleeps in another room 555

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## FailSafe

> I refused to buy my wife.


That was pretty much my feeling as well, though in the end I paid it anyway- the wife's family is fairly loaded (and has never looked to me for money ever), but very traditional, and I had to make a good showing- I wanted to make her happy, so I forked over 1mil- we got over 2mil back in gifts from the relatives, so I can't complain about how it worked out.

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## genghis61

> and have paid for aircon to be installed in the MIL,S bedroom ,,, she loves it and tells me an added bonus is the FIL hates it and now sleeps in another room


brilliant! told gf who told her mother, laughs all round. Finally, something the old bat thought was funny.

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## Bruno

> To be in a better position to help, I wanted to create a vision, so I googled BRUNO MARRIAGE PICS and git this:


 :rofl:

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## Bruno

I do appreciate everybody has very different circumstances and feelings towards this 'paying of the wife' philosophy; that said, this is my third serious relationship with a Thai, the first being a Nurse and the second an air hostess (the reason we eventually broke up) and both of which set the tune at around 1million baht for their hand in marriage  :ourrules: 

I have since determined quite early on - preferably when both intoxicated - to ask any potential girlfriend how much, pound for pound, are they worth to their mother's sinsod and if they remember in the next day I choose to simply say 'well, you were really drunk, perhaps you imaged it'.  

I thought the idea for a health insurance plan was a genuinely good idea. After the father passed away - drink related - and practically bankrupt the family because of the soaring hospital bills and eventual cremation, she has struggled greatly and is not getting any younger either. Some tgf's, I assume, give different reasons as to the morals behind the giving of a sinsod, but mine says this money is a "parting gift" because her responsibility is to the foundations of her new relationship now so this money, ideally, should be banked in her mothers account as and when she needs it and the annual insurance policy was my way of creating peace of mind for all involved...

Based on this, I try not to view this arrangement as a purchase - although it is - but instead, a cash gift to the mother who has endured her fair share of hardships these past couple of years and the 100,000 baht isn't going to break me financially (I'm just going to wait until the £ raises back to its rightful position of £1 = 72 baht before it happens)  :Smile:

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## spikebs4

> I do appreciate everybody has very different circumstances and feelings towards this 'paying of the wife' philosophy; that said, this is my third serious relationship with a Thai, the first being a Nurse and the second an air hostess (the reason we eventually broke up) and both of which set the tune at around 1million baht for their hand in marriage 
> 
> I have since determined quite early on - preferably when both intoxicated - to ask any potential girlfriend how much, pound for pound, are they worth to their mother's sinsod and if they remember in the next day I choose to simply say 'well, you were really drunk, perhaps you imaged it'.  
> 
> I thought the idea for a health insurance plan was a genuinely good idea. After the father passed away - drink related - and practically bankrupt the family because of the soaring hospital bills and eventual cremation, she has struggled greatly and is not getting any younger either. Some tgf's, I assume, give different reasons as to the morals behind the giving of a sinsod, but mine says this money is a "parting gift" because her responsibility is to the foundations of her new relationship now so this money, ideally, should be banked in her mothers account as and when she needs it and the annual insurance policy was my way of creating peace of mind for all involved...
> 
> Based on this, I try not to view this arrangement as a purchase - although it is - but instead, a cash gift to the mother who has endured her fair share of hardships these past couple of years and the 100,000 baht isn't going to break me financially (I'm just going to wait until the £ raises back to its rightful position of £1 = 72 baht before it happens)


 i quess youl be having a long engagment then bruno.. :smiley laughing:  :smiley laughing:

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## the dogcatcher

laosy.
50 satang

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## Whiteshiva

JOHNNY LINGO'S 8-COW WIFE

condensed from Woman's Day Patricia McGerr

When I sailed to Kiniwata, an island in the Pacific, I took along a notebook. After I got back it was filled with descriptions of flora and fauna, native customs and costume. But the only note that still interests me is the one that says: "Johnny Lingo gave eight cows to Saritas father." And I dont need to have it in writing. Im reminded of it every time I see a woman belittling her husband or a wife withering under her husbands scorn. I want to say to them, "You should know why Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for his wife."

Johnny Lingo wasnt exactly his name. But thats what Shenkin, the manager of the guest house on Kiniwata, called him. Shenkin was from Chicago and had a habit of Americanizing the names of the islanders. But Johnny was mentioned by many people in many connections. If I wanted to spend a few days on the neighboring island of Nurabandi, Johnny Lingo would put me up. If I wanted to fish he could show me where the biting was best. If it was pearls I sought, he would bring the best buys. The people of Kiniwata all spoke highly of Johnny Lingo. Yet when they spoke they smiled, and the smiles were slightly mocking.

"Get Johnny Lingo to help you find what you want and let him do the bargaining," advised Shenkin. "Johnny knows how to make a deal."
"Johnny Lingo! A boy seated nearby hooted the name and rocked with laughter.
"What goes on?" I demanded. "everybody tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo and then breaks up. Let me in on the joke."
"Oh, the people like to laugh," Shenkin said, shruggingly. "Johnny's the brightest, the strongest young man in the islands, And for his age, the richest."
"But if hes all you say, what is there to laugh about?" 
"Only one thing. Five months ago, at fall festival, Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He paid her father eight cows!

I knew enough about island customs to be impressed. Two or three cows would buy a fair-to-middling wife, four or five a highly satisfactory one. "Good Lord!" I said, "Eight cows! She must have beauty that takes your breath away." "Shes not ugly," he conceded, and smiled a little. "But the kindest could only call Sarita plain. Sam Karoo, her father, was afraid shed be left on his hands." 
"But then he got eight cows for her? Isnt that extraordinary?" 
"Never been paid before."
"Yet you call Johnnys wife plain?"
"I said it would be kindness to call her plain. She was skinny. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked. She was scared of her own shadow." 
"Well," I said, "I guess theres just no accounting for love." 
"True enough," agreed the man. "And thats why the villagers grin when they talk about Johnny. They get special satisfaction from the fact that the sharpest trader in the islands was bested by dull old Sam Karoo."
"But how?"
"No one knows and everyone wonders. All the cousins were urging Sam to ask for three cows and hold out for two until he was sure Johnnyd pay only one. Then Johnny came to Sam Karoo and said, Father of Sarita, I offer eight cows for your daughter."
"Eight cows," I murmured. "Id like to meet this Johnny Lingo."
"And I wanted fish. I wanted pearls. So the next afternoon I beached my boat at Nurabandi. And I noticed as I asked directions to Johnnys house that his name brought no sly smile to the lips of his fellow Nurabandians. And when I met the slim, serious young man, when he welcomed me with grace to his home, I was glad that from his own people he had respect unmingled with mockery. We sat in his house and talked. Then he asked, "You come here from Kiniwata?"
"Yes."
"They speak of me on that island?"
"They say theres nothing I might want they you cant help me get."
He smiled gently. "My wife is from Kiniwata."
"Yes, I know."
"They speak of her?"
"A little."
"What do they say?"
"Why, just..." The question caught me off balance. "They told me you were married at festival time."
"Nothing more?" The curve of his eyebrows told me he knew there had to be more.
They also say the marriage settlement was eight cows." I paused.
"They wonder why."
"They ask that?" His eyes lightened with pleasure. "Everyone in Kiniwata knows about the eight cows?"
I nodded.
"And in Nurabandi everyone knows it too." His chest expanded with satisfaction. "Always and forever, when they speak of marriage settlements, it will be remembered that Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Sarita."
So thats the answer, I thought: vanity.

And then I saw her. I watched her enter the room to place flowers on the table. She stood still a moment to smile at the young man beside me. Then she went swiftly out again. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin the sparkle of her eyes all spelled a pride to which no one could deny her the right. I turned back to Johnny Lingo and found him looking at me. "You admire her?" he murmured. "She...shes glorious. But shes not Sarita from Kiniwata," I said.

"Theres only one Sarita. Perhaps she does not look the way they say she looked in Kiniwata." "She doesnt. I heard she was homely. They all make fun of you because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karoo."
"You think eight cows were too many?" A smile slid over his lips. "No. But how can she be so different?" 
"Do you ever think," he asked, "what it must mean to a woman to know that her husband has settled on the lowest price for which she can be bought? And then later, when the women talk, they boast of what their husbands paid for them. One says four cows, another maybe six. How does she feel, the woman who was sold for one or two?" This could not happen to my Sarita." 
"Then you did this just to make your wife happy?"
"I wanted Sarita to be happy, yes. But I wanted more than that. You say she is different This is true. Many things can change a woman. Things that happen inside, things that happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks about herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands." "Then you wanted -"
"I wanted to marry Sarita. I loved her and no other woman."
"But " I was close to understanding.
"But," he finished softly, "I wanted an eight-cow wife."

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## Boon Mee

Sinsod is a cultural thing.  Even well-off Hi-So families practice this arcane ritual... :mid:

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## superman

I got married at the Amphur. Never had one of those wedding does. Never paid sin sod. Bought the missus some gold on the birth of our 1st child and that's about it. She doesn't pressure me for things other than she wants to learn to drive. I think I'd rather have the party and pay the sin sod.

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## Rigger

> I refused to buy my wife.


I paid for mine and think I got a pretty good deal over the last ten years. Mind you I bought mine young and had to train her but after all this time she is really coming along lately. 
Nothing is free MTD dont forget it

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## FarangRed

I heard one story about a Thai family and the outlaws asked for 10 million baht and the guys asking do I think it's a bit to much  :smiley laughing:

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## bushwacker

My take is tradition is very important and as this is a marriage of 2 cultures then we need to incorporate both.  

Even though this will be her second marriage and there is 1 child that i will be totally supporting.  The family wants the bucks.  Hmmm ... sounds like a rental business.  

So, i have agreed to pay but insist that my customs also are lived up to.  Historically, Westerns have the wife's family pay a dowry, pay for the wedding party, and everything except for the wife's ring.

So, I am happy to support the new wife and child.  And we net out the two cultures.  They should be paying me about 10 million baht on the special day.  Hmmm .... they have not brought the subject up again.

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## keda

> My take is tradition is very important and as this is a marriage of 2 cultures then we need to incorporate both.  
> 
> Even though this will be her second marriage and there is 1 child that i will be totally supporting.  The family wants the bucks.  Hmmm ... sounds like a rental business.  
> 
> So, i have agreed to pay but insist that my customs also are lived up to.  Historically, Westerns have the wife's family pay a dowry, pay for the wedding party, and everything except for the wife's ring.
> 
> So, I am happy to support the new wife and child.  And we net out the two cultures.  They should be paying me about 10 million baht on the special day.  Hmmm .... they have not brought the subject up again.


You don't want your customs lived up to, mate, unless you don't mind giving her the option to take you to the cleaners!

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## good2bhappy

> My take is tradition is very important





> this will be her second marriage


confused
thought you didn't have to pay for such

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## nigelandjan

Bushwacker mate you are a special man to be taking on another mans child as your own ,, and good on you for that one mate ! 
  As for the ol sin sod thingy ,,,,,,,,, I think if you delve into the small print  ( and please dont take this the wrong way )  there is an exemption clause some families will be happy to accept along the lines of second hand goods . 
   As I say pls dont take that the wrong way ,, my wife was aswell , she had been married 7 years before I met her , indeed I had for 28 years to.
            Good luck to you 3 for the future ,, try and get into the family history ,, I am sure with luck it will only be a face thing on the day , theyll count it out in front of the villagers and give it back later,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,fingers crossed !

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## Marmite the Dog

> thought you didn't have to pay for such


Traditionally, you don't unless you're a gullible fool.

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## Travelmate

personally I will never pay for my girl.
However when asked I always say pay as much as you can afford.

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## Rigger

> As for the ol sin sod thingy ,,,,,,,,, I think if you delve into the small print ( and please dont take this the wrong way ) there is an exemption clause some families will be happy to accept along the lines of second hand goods .


Have seen Thais pay sin sod for a woman on her second marrage with kids. I think it was around 50K and a few baht gold, I think it would be pretty hard to find a un used one over the age of 14-15 in the village.
For all you guys that say you never paid sin sot, did you pay for the party did you give your wife gold ? if yes you as good as paid sin sot. Just becuase you didnt lay the cash out for all too see dont mean you didnt pay.
Now if you didnt have a party or give your wife any gold well then your just a sorry tight cnut that probably doesnt deserve her  :Smile:

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## The Master Cool

> I refused to buy my wife.


Paying for her infant two babies for the next 22 years is more than enough surely.

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## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> 
> I refused to buy my wife.
> 
> 
> Paying for her infant two babies for the next 22 years is more than enough surely.


I don't equate looking after my family to paying sin-sot. If you feel that raising your family is a piece of bullshit from a backward culture, than that's up to you.

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## mingmong

I remember going to Bkk shopping, wife hinted we needed an Air-conditioner for 1 Bedroom Bangalow.I come back with a  vacume  cleaner that still 'in the Box' after 2 years.
No Sin-snot but I have built a new House for 2mil. not the same I guess?

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## Krumble

This is an old chestnut that many farangs tie themselves in knots worrying about.  First of all you need to accept that you are marrying into Thai culture where sinsot, although a barbarous and outmoded custom to farangs, remains a very important custom.   Next you need to separate the amount of sinsot you are going to show on the platter at the wedding ceremony and how much you are actually going to give away.  It is quite normal to make a big display of cash and gold and even title deeds on the platter but take a large portion of this back.  What is important is how much is displayed and that is the amount your mother-in-law will quote to all the nosy parkers who will be asking how much she got for her daughter for years to come.  These days it is quite normal for village boys who have gone to university to show several hundred thousand baht plus gold on the platter, even if they got it from a money lender the day before and have to return it plus interest the next day.  Farangs are supposed to be much wealthier and puting a poxy B100k on the tray and no gold is going to give your mother-in-law terminal loss of face which she will resent for ever and will pass on to your wife.   A self respecting farang is going to want to stump up in the region of B300-500k plus 5-10 baht of gold for display purposes.   What you let your in-laws retain from that is between you, your in-laws and your wife and doesn't much matter, as long as they can tell the nosy parkers they flogged her off for B500k, 10 baht of gold, a shop house and a Honda Wave or whatever.  If you can't accept this aspect of Thai culture you are probably going to have a miserable married life here anyway and  it would be better to go home and find your ideal Essex or Jersey girl instead.

BTW for those who are marrying Thai women that already have children from previous liasons, please note that the concept of sinsot doesn't apply.  No Thai parents would dream of asking for sinsot from a Thai man in the unlikely event that one was nice enough to take their tainted goods daughter off their hands in such a situation and you should also not entertain such an outrageous request.

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## Fabian

> I refused to buy my wife.


I did not even need to refuse.

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## Bruno

> they can tell the nosy parkers they flogged her off for B500k, 10 baht of gold, a shop house and a Honda Wave or whatever. If you can't accept this aspect of Thai culture you are probably going to have a miserable married life here anyway and it would be better to go home and find your ideal Essex or Jersey girl instead.


One would have to be very naive not to see that 'face' is very important to a Thai, as it is for many Asian's in fact. However, I think it's unfair to pass the judgement that 'unless we are prepared to pay the previous said amounts' we can expect to have a miserable long term relationship because of it.

You are simply basing this on your own account or that of friends, and where their relationship may have failed because of it doesn't apply to everybody here I am sure as some have stated that they never paid a sinsod...

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## keekwai

> Her response is usually, "it's my mother, I can take care"


Just be careful that's not the "prenuptial response" .. which could possibly change once the ring is on.

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## ota

_I think your wife will make you_ or break you.

That said it cost me $1000 plus a promise to send $100/month.

That worked until her dad died. Her mother has a gambling problem  that makes any financial arrangement impossible.

Ota

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## albarb

> JOHNNY LINGO'S 8-COW WIFE
> 
> "But," he finished softly, "I wanted an eight-cow wife."


Great story Whiteshiva...... to each his own!

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## Bruno

> Just be careful that's not the "prenuptial response" .. which could possibly change once the ring is on.


Kindly noted...

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## Bruno

> JOHNNY LINGO'S 8-COW WIFE


Great read Whiteshiva and an even better moral to be learnt from it at the end.

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## Rigger

> A self respecting farang is going to want to stump up in the region of B300-500k plus 5-10 baht of gold for display purposes. What you let your in-laws retain from that is between you, your in-laws and your wife and doesn't much matter, as long as they can tell the nosy parkers they flogged her off for B500k, 10 baht of gold, a shop house and a Honda Wave or whatever. If you can't accept this aspect of Thai culture you are probably going to have a miserable married life here anyway and it would be better to go home and find your ideal Essex or Jersey girl instead.


Bullshit 500K is to much, probably been to 50 weddings some well off Thais and farang and never seen 500k laid out.






> BTW for those who are marrying Thai women that already have children from previous liasons, please note that the concept of sinsot doesn't apply. No Thai parents would dream of asking for sinsot from a Thai man in the unlikely event that one was nice enough to take their tainted goods daughter off their hands in such a situation and you should also not entertain such an outrageous request


More bullshit village Thais will pay a few baht of gold and normaly enough sin sot to cover the party.

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## the dogcatcher

Girls with children are "pre fucked".
 No sin sot.

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## teddy

> Originally Posted by The Master Cool
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> ...


It isn't your family. You are the new foreign sponsor (sanap sonoong doi farang). The person the family respects as the father/husband is the grubbly slimey guy who turns up when you are not around.

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## teddy

> Bullshit 500K is to much, probably been to 50 weddings some well off Thais and farang and never seen 500k laid out.
> 
> 
> More bullshit village Thais will pay a few baht of gold and normaly enough sin sot to cover the party.


You haven't met well-off Thais then. 1 million plus is quite common for a girl from a good family with masters degree. In Issan well-off just means more than one buffalo and 20K baht is seen as a lot of money. I went to one Thai/Thai wedding in BKK and the sin sod was 10 million plus house plus car.

You've confused sin sod with responsibility to pay for the wedding party. they are separate.

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## Rigger

> Girls with children are "pre fucked". No sin sot.


They are all pre fucked" mate and from what I have seen in Isaan they will still pay some sin sot small amount of gold and enough to cover a party. Maybe they just make there own rules as they feel like it.
I know farangs that married a pre owned one and didnt pay sin sot but paid for the party and some gold and built a house. So he paid he just dont know it.

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## Rigger

> In Issan well-off just means more than one buffalo and 20K baht is seen as a lot of money


Yes I live in Isaan and I mean well off by farang standard. Isaan is 35% of Thailand do you really think well off in isaan is a baffalo and 20K is alot of money ?

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## Rigger

> You've confused sin sod with responsibility to pay for the wedding party. they are separate


call it anything you want, ring,gold,house,party you still paid.

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## superman

I'm sorry to say, but Krumble's post #32 is complete tosh, in my opinion.

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## Rigger

> 1 million plus is quite common for a girl from a good family with masters degree


Is that what she tells you  :smiley laughing:

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## teddy

> Originally Posted by teddy
> 
>  In Issan well-off just means more than one buffalo and 20K baht is seen as a lot of money
> 
> 
> Yes I live in Isaan and I mean well off by farang standard. Isaan is 35% of Thailand do you really think well off in isaan is a baffalo and 20K is alot of money ?


In 65% of the country if you told a Thai you married a poor Issan girl, they would know you married a prostitute and you had now lowered your face to the same level. 

The only industry in Issan that makes money is screwing.
The police and Chinese politicians such as newin screw the people.
The whores screw farang.
If an Issan family has money, it's because the daughters (and sons) screw farang of their savings.

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## teddy

> Originally Posted by teddy
> 
> 1 million plus is quite common for a girl from a good family with masters degree
> 
> 
> Is that what she tells you


My one's different.

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## teddy

> This is an old chestnut that many farangs tie themselves in knots worrying about.  First of all you need to accept that you are marrying into Thai culture where sinsot, although a barbarous and outmoded custom to farangs, remains a very important custom.   Next you need to separate the amount of sinsot you are going to show on the platter at the wedding ceremony and how much you are actually going to give away.  It is quite normal to make a big display of cash and gold and even title deeds on the platter but take a large portion of this back.  What is important is how much is displayed and that is the amount your mother-in-law will quote to all the nosy parkers who will be asking how much she got for her daughter for years to come.  These days it is quite normal for village boys who have gone to university to show several hundred thousand baht plus gold on the platter, even if they got it from a money lender the day before and have to return it plus interest the next day.  Farangs are supposed to be much wealthier and puting a poxy B100k on the tray and no gold is going to give your mother-in-law terminal loss of face which she will resent for ever and will pass on to your wife.   A self respecting farang is going to want to stump up in the region of B300-500k plus 5-10 baht of gold for display purposes.   What you let your in-laws retain from that is between you, your in-laws and your wife and doesn't much matter, as long as they can tell the nosy parkers they flogged her off for B500k, 10 baht of gold, a shop house and a Honda Wave or whatever.  If you can't accept this aspect of Thai culture you are probably going to have a miserable married life here anyway and  it would be better to go home and find your ideal Essex or Jersey girl instead.
> 
> BTW for those who are marrying Thai women that already have children from previous liasons, please note that the concept of sinsot doesn't apply.  No Thai parents would dream of asking for sinsot from a Thai man in the unlikely event that one was nice enough to take their tainted goods daughter off their hands in such a situation and you should also not entertain such an outrageous request.


Good insight but I know it will upset a few posters here Lols

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## Rigger

> In 65% of the country if you told a Thai you married a poor Issan girl, they would know you married a prostitute and you had now lowered your face to the same level. The only industry in Issan that makes money is screwing. The police and Chinese politicians such as newin screw the people. The whores screw farang. If an Issan family has money, it's because the daughters (and sons) screw farang of their savings.


Thanks Teddy now I know your just a foking idiot. Isaan is a big place with many large citys. To say every Isaan girl is a whore just shows that you are retarded and dont have a clue.

----------


## tony wall

i married an issan lady and paid sin sot then after the wedding found the money back in our bank account which surprised me a little,the wife said this was normal .it seems that thai families have their own ideas on the practice of sin sot .no one in the family has ever asked me or the wife for money though complete strangers have asked to borrow money but that's a whole different ball game

----------


## FailSafe

> i married an issan lady and paid sin sot then after the wedding found the money back in our bank account which surprised me a little,the wife said this was normal .it seems that thai families have their own ideas on the practice of sin sot .no one in the family has ever asked me or the wife for money though complete strangers have asked to borrow money but that's a whole different ball game


This is pretty much what my wife told me (though her family is from BKK)- she said that whatever I gave for _sin sod_ would come back double, and that is was more a symbolic offering (for good old Thai 'face') than anything else, as her family didn't need the money- she was the oldest daughter and it would look good if I made a nice showing- she turned out to be completely right- I should have mortgaged the house, sold the car, etc. :Smile:

----------


## The Master Cool

> I don't equate looking after my family to paying sin-sot.


_Your_ family?

----------


## keekwai

I wonder .. if your virgin bride went back with you to say .. Australia .. and you got married there .. would the Thai family follow Western custom? That is .. the brides family pays for everything?

Doubt it .. the cnuts!

----------


## Loy Toy

> Your family?


I have read a couple of your earlier posts and with regard to Marmite's family.

How are these children not considered his family?

I have adopted children (as well as my own) and treat and love them as if they carried my genes.

Again, the problem seems to be with you and I would appreciate if you could respond to my question and as above.

----------


## superman

^^ That question was asked of Boo, moderator on TV. She's married to a Thai, must be fcuking one ugly woman. Her get out was that the husbands family wanted to pay sinsot but she refused.

----------


## The Master Cool

> Originally Posted by The Master Cool
> 
> Your family?
> 
> 
> I have read a couple of your earlier posts and with regard to Marmite's family.


Only in regards to the topic. As he says, he refuses to 'buy a wife', but is paying for her two young children (babies?) for how long, the next 20+ years.

As I'm sure you know, a second husband coming in and paying for her first husband's deserted children will not usually be expected to pay much sinsot, (sorry, 'buy his wife' as he calls it) if any. Because as I said in my first post, paying to raise her first husband's children is usually seen as enough.




> How are these children not considered his family?


I'm sure that he considers them his family, the chance that everybody else does is very slim.




> I have adopted children (as well as my own) and treat and love them as if they carried my genes.


Well done, I personally think it's great to do such a thing.



> the problem seems to be with you


I don't think so. When a foreigner comes in and takes over the raising of Thai babies, in a Thai family, in Thai (rural) society, while the father probably lies around laughing about it all day, I don't think many consider the family as being the foreigner's. 

Just my opinion and views, sorry if you disagree. 




> and I would appreciate if you could respond to my question and as above.


Never a problem. Anything else just feel free to ask.  :Smile: 

Cheers.

----------


## Rigger

> I wonder .. if your virgin bride went back with you to say .. Australia .. and you got married there .. would the Thai family follow Western custom? That is .. the brides family pays for everything?


I think they stopped that years ago in Australia

----------


## The Master Cool

Virtually all the weddings I've witnessed at home were split between the two families. With the bride and groom paying for a lot between them.

----------


## Bruno

> ^^ That question was asked of Boo, moderator on TV. She's married to a Thai, must be fcuking one ugly woman. Her get out was that the husbands family wanted to pay sinsot but she refused.


That's a good point. How does Thai custom dictate a farang women marrying a Thai man then?

If it's expected a man should pay some kind of dowry to a future wife (even if that wife is western) do the rules still apply?

----------


## keekwai

Any and all rules are always bent in the Thais favor.

----------


## HollyGoodhead

> ^^ That question was asked of Boo, moderator on TV. She's married to a Thai, must be fcuking one ugly woman. Her get out was that the husbands family wanted to pay sinsot but she refused.


how must she be ugly?

----------


## keekwai

> how must she be ugly?


She's a TV mod. I rest my case!

----------


## CQFarmer

There is a price for every deal.
Wife number one kept the house worth a million Aussie dollars; I got the debts.
Wife number two lived on my income for thirteen years, charged me rent to live in her house and had eight million pounds invested when she divorced me two months before I retired. 
Now I have an Issan born Thai wife plus her thirteen year old son, and I am happier than I can remember. I didn't pay sin sot, we had a registered mariage; but I gave gold to my wife that I have not seen again. 
Mother and father each have a house on the home block in the village at my expense, because they fight like a cat and dog. We support them with small donations of money, pay some utility bills, and donate the contents of our food cupboards and fridge each week when we visit (usually after a large shopping spree at Tesco Lotus and the markets), and so do their other children with Thai partners. And we will soon buy ourselves the house that we have rented for several years. 
All three of the houses will cost less than the losses my bank and financial advisors caused me in the last three years as they helped me protect my investments!
Mother in law and father in law are farmers in their late seventies and live in their traditional way, she still grows and sells produce to the local traders and he spends eight or nine hours working in the fields each day. I have great respect and affection for them, and I am happy to help my wife support them. 
At sixty-eight I enjoy every day and my whole Thai family keep me happy. I love being a farang in Thailand, I am not rich, but life is better as an old guy with a small pension than in Europe or Australia. I have an eight-cow wife ... and that is all that matters.

----------


## Bruno

> At sixty-eight I enjoy every day and my whole Thai family keep me happy. I love being a farang in Thailand, I am not rich, but life is better as an old guy with a small pension than in Europe or Australia. I have an eight-cow wife ... and that is all that matters.


Brilliant! 

Since reading that same anecdote CQ I told my tgf that to me she was worth eight cows; she crudely shouted down the phone "kwai" and then hung up on me, the little moo!

----------


## Loy Toy

> I'm sure that he considers them his family, the chance that everybody else does is very slim.


Very slim? How slim?

----------


## superman

> Originally Posted by superman
> 
> 
> ^^ That question was asked of Boo, moderator on TV. She's married to a Thai, must be fcuking one ugly woman. Her get out was that the husbands family wanted to pay sinsot but she refused.
> 
> 
> how must she be ugly?


She pisses me off to the max, the smug fcuking cow. Don't take it personally Holly, I was just fired up. I'm sure you're an exception to the norm. :Smile:

----------


## Krumble

> I'm sorry to say, but Krumble's post #32 is complete tosh, in my opinion.


Actually post #32 was by Marmite the Dog but I am glad to see I have given food for thought.  Many of the views expressed by "expats" in Thailand are just wishful thinking as they try to impose their own world view on their surroundings without any detailed knowledge of the language and culture.  What makes the country enjoyable for most is that it's a male chauvinistic culture but also that means you are expected to be macho male provider, if you want respect.  

If you read carefully what I wrote, I suggested "show" sin sot of B300-500k + 5-10 of gold with the amount retained by the in-laws to be negotiable.  If you have already spent a fair bit on land and a house, for example, it would be reasonable to get back all or nearly all of that.  I have been to several farang-Thai weddings where the guy would only show B100k plus 1 baht of gold after arguing vehemently with his bride that, as a farang, he couldn't buy her from her parents.  In some cases I have heard Thais saying what a cheapskate the farang must be and commenting that even the bride's sister cousin or whatever who married a Thai man with a low end job got more.  I speak, read and write Thai fluently and don't need to rely on my Thai wife for this type of information.   

Bottom line advice would be to try show at least B200k and 2 baht of gold, even if you negotiate to get more than 50% back and by back I mean right back to you physically not to your wife or a joint account.  If you are going for the second hand wife with pre-existing children package, there is no real obligation to do the Buddhist ceremony thing and the sin sot at all, as your predecessor should have already done all that and it is supposed to be a once in a life time thing like a white wedding.  Consider just registering your marriage and having a party with your friends and the bride's and not bothering with all the old betel nut chewing crones in her village.  You can slip the parents something, if you think they are deserving, but they have no bargaining power.  It is not as if there can be any valid comparison with what a Thai man might pay in this situation because most Thai men would not touch her with a barge pole, however adorable she and her kids might be.  I know several farangs who have done this without problems.  In this case, it really is valid to argue that you are taking on responsibility for the kids which makes a second round of sin sot even more inapplicable.

----------


## superman

Actually #32 was by Fabian, so we're both wrong.

----------


## superman

> Irish Man Marries Katoey - Pays 3M Baht Sin Sod 
> 
> à¸à¸£à¸±à¹ˆà¸‡à¸«à¸*£$%^%à¸šà¸ªà¸´à¸™à¸ªà¸*£$%^%à  ¸” à¹€à¸‰à¸µà¸¢à¸”3à¸¥à¹‰à¸²à¸™ à¹à¸•à¹ˆà¸‡à¸à¸°à¹€à¸—à¸¢à¸™à¸„à¸£à¸žà¸™à¸¡
> 
> I am not sure where there is a link to this in English.
> 
> You can imagine what my gf says when she sees that a farang pays 3M baht sin sod for a katoey. Now I have no room to say any damn thing about it!!!


Irish Man Marries Katoey - Pays 3M Baht Sin Sod

----------


## keekwai

You would have to be Irish do do something as ridiculous as that!

----------


## Bogon

Quick joke to lighten the mood.

My father in law promised me 5 rai and a cow when I married his daughter.
I'm still waiting for the 5 rai........................................ :mid:

----------


## pescator

:smiley laughing:

----------


## mason45

My Thai Chinese son inlaw told me the reason why TC don't marry Isaan ladies is because they're deemed low class like Americans refer to there lower class ladies as trailer trash. My wife is Isaan from a big family, we married in a Bangkok amphur, no party or cash but I did buy her an expensive wedding ring which has never left her finger for the 10 years we've been married. This sinsod business is really designed for Isaan men who marry into a family and move into the MIL's house and never contributes jack shit only more problem by not working and laying about getting hammered on a daily basis. You could say its a security deposit and the MIL gets her slice of the action up front knowing that it will be the last contribution the son inlaw will ever make again. On the other hand farangs fall for the trap of paying a sinsod and then they're supposed to weigh in every month, it's like paying cash for a new car but you're still expected to pay monthly installments, it's straight out double dipping and just another way to milk farangs for their money. This is the main reason why many farangs pull the pin on Thai relationships and just move on and in doing so cut their losses.

----------


## superman

Mason45's post is, in my opinion, spot on.

----------


## keekwai

Farang ... Ka Ching! (sound of a cash register drawer opening) 555

----------


## The Master Cool

> Originally Posted by The Master Cool
> 
> I'm sure that he considers them his family, the chance that everybody else does is very slim.
> 
> 
> Very slim? How slim?


From my observations of living in rural Thailand, nobody in the community/society would consider the local Isaan girl and her two Isaan babies as the foreigner's family.

After 20 years their views may slightly change by a slight degree, but certainly not with some newbee Isaan blow-in.

----------


## elsen

> I refused to buy my wife.


Me too. Married after two years! For what? The Dowry - what else?

----------


## mingmong

http://btgsf1.fsanook.com/weblog/ent...g_kratoeyb.jpg

Must admit, its a good catch, He's good looking for an Irish Mon.....................

----------


## good2bhappy

I like the deposit and hire purchase option

----------


## FarangRed

The sister of my office friend is getting  married to a farang and it’s been delightful to hear all the stories and  tribulations that this farang has either been put through or put the  family through since the start of their relationship. The stories I have  heard from this one relationship would be enough to write my diary for a  few months alone with.
 The most recent one is about the “sin sod” or the concept of offering  some money at the wedding from the husband and his family to the wife  and her family. Normally this is just for show because we want to let  people know how successful and auspicious the particular relationship is  or will be and to show how much the two families are excited about  coming together. Now even among us Thai people the idea of what “sin  sod” is can differ and this isn’t just based on where your family comes  from but also based on things like your education and your parents view  to the husband or to the wife. For example “sin sod” might not be used  in the same way if your daughter wants to marry man number 1 than if she  wants to marry man number 2. Its flexible and the way in which the  family want to use it depends on all sorts of factors.
 One thing it is not is a way to purchase the wife from the family.  This idiot farang has come to my office friend and asked her how much  her sister is worth and so how much should he pay for her! What the  hell?? This moronic white-skinned beached whale, barely strong enough to  lift his own weight from the sofa chair to grab another singha beer  (yes, I’ve seen his pictures and OI, DISGUSTING!) seems to think he is  buying his wife. So this means several other things- one, he thinks he  is so far above her, being the one doing the “purchasing” and her being  the one “purchased” so obviously he has no respect for her, two that he  couldn’t be bothered to learn the first little thing about the culture  he is about to marry into and three, he is a fat idiot.
 The thing is the family didn’t even ask him for “sin sod” and never  mentioned it, he came right out of the blue and asked my friend how much  her sister was worth. They don’t even want it- it’s not applicable for  them since he is not a Thai man. The best advice I can give him is to  forget the pickup truck full of gold and at least apply some  anti-perspirant before the actual event.

----------


## superman

Someone mentioned earlier that Sin Sot is only paid once. Unfortunately that is not true. I know a couple of Thai women that got Sin Sot the second time around and the Thai man took on their children. That being contrary to some saying 'Thai men won't take on other men's children'.
One of the women I'm talking about got 100,000 Baht & 10 Baht gold on her first marriage and exactly the same the second time. Which goes to show that having been married before etc didn't affect her standing.

----------


## Rigger

> Someone mentioned earlier that Sin Sot is only paid once. Unfortunately that is not true. I know a couple of Thai women that got Sin Sot the second time around and the Thai man took on their children. That being contrary to some saying 'Thai men won't take on other men's children'. One of the women I'm talking about got 100,000 Baht & 10 Baht gold on her first marriage and exactly the same the second time. Which goes to show that having been married before etc didn't affect her standing.__________________


I believe they make up the rules as they go along and change from place to place and family to family. I agree with your statement above having seen this before but try telling that to someone that believe because they can speak Thai or the wife told them so, that it doesnt happen.

----------


## keekwai

I've recently met a girl whose parents are dead. She also has a 6 y.o girl. I'm not likely to have any Sinsot worries am I (if marriage ever comes up that is!)

----------


## Rigger

> I've recently met a girl whose parents are dead. She also has a 6 y.o girl. I'm not likely to have any Sinsot worries am I (if marriage ever comes up that is!)


Maybe has a extended family that raised her, just give them 500,000 baht as farangs that speak thai tell us that the price for any self respecting farang should pay

----------


## keekwai

Nah.. Father died a year ago .. mother 3 months ago. She does have a pretty bulky big sister that may want to shove her snout in the trough though!

----------


## Krumble

> My Thai Chinese son inlaw told me the reason why TC don't marry Isaan ladies is because they're deemed low class like Americans refer to there lower class ladies as trailer trash. My wife is Isaan from a big family, we married in a Bangkok amphur, no party or cash but I did buy her an expensive wedding ring which has never left her finger for the 10 years we've been married. This sinsod business is really designed for Isaan men who marry into a family and move into the MIL's house and never contributes jack shit only more problem by not working and laying about getting hammered on a daily basis. You could say its a security deposit and the MIL gets her slice of the action up front knowing that it will be the last contribution the son inlaw will ever make again. On the other hand farangs fall for the trap of paying a sinsod and then they're supposed to weigh in every month, it's like paying cash for a new car but you're still expected to pay monthly installments, it's straight out double dipping and just another way to milk farangs for their money. This is the main reason why many farangs pull the pin on Thai relationships and just move on and in doing so cut their losses.


Sounds like you really pushed the boat out with an expensive wedding ring.  A gold band weighing more than half a baht would probably make it hard for her to raise her hand.

----------


## streeteats

Sounds to me like mom was just quietly waiting for the rt moment to pounce. Its like a hunter who remains quiet as can be until he has him self in the rt position to go for the kill. He's no less of a hunter than any other, just a sneakeyer one in my humble opinion. Either way, I wish you the best of luck and happiness. Just be careful with your heart and your bank account as well. Hope no offensce is taken. just looking out for a fellow member.

----------


## rickschoppers

> Originally Posted by superman
> 
> Someone mentioned earlier that Sin Sot is only paid once. Unfortunately that is not true. I know a couple of Thai women that got Sin Sot the second time around and the Thai man took on their children. That being contrary to some saying 'Thai men won't take on other men's children'. One of the women I'm talking about got 100,000 Baht & 10 Baht gold on her first marriage and exactly the same the second time. Which goes to show that having been married before etc didn't affect her standing.__________________
> 
> 
> I believe they make up the rules as they go along and change from place to place and family to family. I agree with your statement above having seen this before but try telling that to someone that believe because they can speak Thai or the wife told them so, that it doesnt happen.


Quite right Rigger, the rules change with every family and is usually based on whatever the traffic will bare. No set guidelines for this ancient custom and each family has freedom to exploit it in any way they can. General rules I have heard are you will always pay more depending on the preestablished social level of the family and education level of the wife. How creative the family gets is up to them and variations of this custom are endless.  I say do whatever you feel is right and if it does not feel right, bail...........Personally, I did not pay anything, but as others have mentioned you pay in many other ways.
 I object to the comments equating every Isaan woman as a prostitute, but that just shows the ignorance of the person commenting. I have heard that Isaan women have a darker skin tone, which in Thai culture, is less desirable. But this is proabably just another attemp at creating a cultural caste system. If you want to pay, then pay, if you don't, get the fuk out!!!!!!!!!!

----------


## kingwilly

> Nah.. Father died a year ago .. mother 3 months ago. She does have a pretty bulky big sister that may want to shove her snout in the trough though!


Auntie tried to move into the vacuum for a mate of mine in a similar position, so dont rule it out.

----------


## good2bhappy

congratulations and good luck

----------


## superman

> I have heard that Isaan women have a darker skin tone, which in Thai culture, is less desirable. But this is proabably just another attemp at creating a cultural caste system.


It sure is. The darker the skin tone is a good indication of your job ie you work outdoors in the fields. Another indication of your status is the growing of little fingers nail to a longer size than the rest of ones nails. Another way to indicate you don't work the fields.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Another indication of your status is the growing of little fingers nail to a longer size than the rest of ones nails. Another way to indicate you don't work the fields.


I thought it indicated that you were an uncouth nose picker of the highest order...  :Confused:

----------


## Rural Surin

> Originally Posted by rickschoppers
> 
> I have heard that Isaan women have a darker skin tone, which in Thai culture, is less desirable. But this is proabably just another attemp at creating a cultural caste system.
> 
> 
> It sure is. The darker the skin tone is a good indication of your job ie you work outdoors in the fields. Another indication of your status is the growing of little fingers nail to a longer size than the rest of ones nails. Another way to indicate you don't work the fields.


Surely, this conditioned indoctrination regarding shades of skin, and therefore the proposed class system, should not leave one with the impression that the *"dark skinned urchins"* belong to a set standards. Never be fooled. Some of the most connected, intuitive, and deeply character-based people that I know are "extra tanned"......

----------


## keekwai

Who gives a fuck what "class conscious" Thais think. Farangs are far enough up their "class ladder" to do what we like. Plus the fact that we are "strange" to them anyway. If you want to shack up with an uneducated dark skinned paddy worker .. go for it.

----------


## Rural Surin

> Who gives a fuck what "class conscious" Thais think. Farangs are far enough up their "class ladder" to do what we like. Plus the fact that we are "strange" to them anyway. If you want to shack up with an uneducated dark skinned paddy worker .. go for it.


Yet, some aren't considered "strange" nor "foreign". Situations differ.

----------


## chitown

> They are all pre fucked" mate


Really? All? 

I did not pay a dowry. We had a very small Western style ceremony on the beach and went down and registered the marriage at the government office a week or so later.

----------


## chitown

> The most recent one is about the sin sod or the concept of offering  some money at the wedding from the husband and his family to the wife  and her family. Normally this is just for show


And returned to the newlyweds after the ceremony.

----------


## keekwai

> Yet, some aren't considered "strange" nor "foreign". Situations differ.


I don't think it matters how long you've lived here, how fluent in the language you are, how knowledgeable you are in the culture or how much you participate in it. You will always be foreign. "The Farang". Not that that is a bad thing.

----------


## a. boozer

> Originally Posted by Rural Surin
> 
> Yet, some aren't considered "strange" nor "foreign". Situations differ.
> 
> 
> I don't think it matters how long you've lived here, how fluent in the language you are, how knowledgeable you are in the culture or how much you participate in it. You will always be foreign. "The Farang". Not that that is a bad thing.


So very true!

----------


## The Master Cool

> Yet, some aren't considered "strange" nor "foreign".


You're clueless about Thailand.

----------


## genghis61

OK - quickly
Two weddings locally next week. 

We're hosting one, Thai/Thai nice young couple, 200k sinsot

#2 A Swede aged 67 and bargirl aged 23. He is paying 7 million to take her away. I hope functions don't overlap too much, I fear we'll lose some guests as #2 will have a better party.

----------


## somtamslap

> He is paying 7 million


 Oh well, as long as he's happy (I'm sure his kids aren't)..

----------


## Kikoman

When I married my wife 5 years ago Sin Sot was not brought up in any way, none was ask for none was given. I have a great relationship with my wife's family and they have never asked for money for themselves. We have loan some family members money that was promptly repaid when the Rice crop was harvested , I also had borrowed up to 30,000 baht from family member in an emergency and repaid it a few days later when my money was entered into my account.
I took over the raising of my stepdaughters and my wife no longer works (my request) was one of the best life choices I have made for my self. My wife was married before and that husband paid the Sin Sot ,ours being a second marriage ,the issue never surface and I did not mention it either.
Many Thai use Sin Sot as a show to the Wedding Guest and return part or all of the money to the couple after the wedding!

----------


## The Muffinman

> #2 A Swede aged 67 and bargirl aged 23. He is paying 7 million to take her away


7 millo for a bargirl :smiley laughing: 

There's one born every minute.

----------


## CaptainNemo

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> 
> I refused to buy my wife.
> 
> 
> That was pretty much my feeling as well, though in the end I paid it anyway- the wife's family is fairly loaded (and has never looked to me for money ever), but very traditional, and I had to make a good showing- I wanted to make her happy, so I forked over 1mil- we got over 2mil back in gifts from the relatives, so I can't complain about how it worked out.


I refused as well... ...but I think some face-saving was required to protect the family from village aspertions; they're not the predatory type. Some months/years later "pa" conveniently went and "crashed the tractor", and (I reckon) about £1,000 (50,000 Fart) found it's way towards some kind of legal costs for getting him out of some kind of jip... and some medical costs for his strangulated hernia (not strangulated by me, i hasten to add)... I commend the rib on some skilful face-saving all round, she has an impressive arsenal of smiles.
"Wedding" was the price of the bus fare down to reg office in central BKK; and the village affair, just a few thou on beer and nibbles, and the old string thing. The most expensive component of the whole business by far was the visa to the UK: just over £200 at the time I think.

----------


## Chairman Mao

> "Wedding" was the price of the bus fare down to reg office in central BKK; and the village affair, just a few thou on beer and nibbles, and the old string thing.


All that's needed. 

10k.

----------


## sunsetter

> What is important is how much is displayed and that is the amount your mother-in-law will quote to all the nosy parkers who will be asking how much she got for her daughter for years to come


 
pure deciet and lies till the day she dies then, how can someone live with that level of bs?

----------


## sunsetter

> A self respecting farang is going to want to stump up in the region of B300-500k plus 5-10 baht of gold for display purposes.


another blinder......

----------


## CaptainNemo

> "Wedding" was the price of the bus fare down to reg office in central BKK; and the village affair, just a few thou on beer and nibbles, and the old string thing.
> 			
> 		
> 
> All that's needed. 
> 
> 10k.


Actually you  can do it for a lot less... they don't drink that much... just a couple of boxes of beer, and all the birds did the cooking, farmers brought corn etc... Effectively, my Mrs paid for the Sin Sod herself... I was a skint student, so was she.... can't imagine doing a massive shiny showy wedding,

----------


## Kurgen

> Originally Posted by genghis61
> 
> #2 A Swede aged 67 and bargirl aged 23. He is paying 7 million to take her away
> 
> 
> 7 millo for a bargirl
> 
> There's one born every minute.


Obviously a swallower.

----------


## sunsetter

> The sister of my office friend is getting married to a farang and its been delightful to hear all the stories and tribulations that this farang has either been put through or put the family through since the start of their relationship. The stories I have heard from this one relationship would be enough to write my diary for a few months alone with.
> The most recent one is about the sin sod or the concept of offering some money at the wedding from the husband and his family to the wife and her family. Normally this is just for show because we want to let people know how successful and auspicious the particular relationship is or will be and to show how much the two families are excited about coming together. Now even among us Thai people the idea of what sin sod is can differ and this isnt just based on where your family comes from but also based on things like your education and your parents view to the husband or to the wife. For example sin sod might not be used in the same way if your daughter wants to marry man number 1 than if she wants to marry man number 2. Its flexible and the way in which the family want to use it depends on all sorts of factors.
> One thing it is not is a way to purchase the wife from the family. This idiot farang has come to my office friend and asked her how much her sister is worth and so how much should he pay for her! What the hell?? This moronic white-skinned beached whale, barely strong enough to lift his own weight from the sofa chair to grab another singha beer (yes, Ive seen his pictures and OI, DISGUSTING!) seems to think he is buying his wife. So this means several other things- one, he thinks he is so far above her, being the one doing the purchasing and her being the one purchased so obviously he has no respect for her, two that he couldnt be bothered to learn the first little thing about the culture he is about to marry into and three, he is a fat idiot.
> The thing is the family didnt even ask him for sin sod and never mentioned it, he came right out of the blue and asked my friend how much her sister was worth. They dont even want it- its not applicable for them since he is not a Thai man. The best advice I can give him is to forget the pickup truck full of gold and at least apply some anti-perspirant before the actual event.


 

whered you cut that from red? interesting thai point of view there

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## Rural Surin

> "Wedding" was the price of the bus fare down to reg office in central BKK; and the village affair, just a few thou on beer and nibbles, and the old string thing.
> 			
> 		
> 
> All that's needed. 
> 
> 10k.


....even less in some cases. Same old story - every situation is different from the next.

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## FailSafe

As I said earlier in this thread, _sin sod_ is often just for appearances- my wife's family certainly didn't need any of my money, but I had to make a decent showing- I got twice the money I put in back in gifts (which is exactly what my wife told me would happen)- it's not always about 'buying' a woman.

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## genghis61

not quite sinsod but loosely on topic, this morning while I was out there was a visitor wanting to see my partner - turns out he's paying a visit to anyone with a farang connection in the hope they'll sell their gold for cash on the spot.

The news was all bad - she's never been given any.

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