#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Living In Thailand Forum >  >  > The Family Room >  >  Serial Child Beater

## dirtydog

Well it seems I am a serial child beater now, it's now the second time and my fists and arms hurt, But it has come to the stage where i don't want my son as part of my family, his morals are totally different to mine, I don't believe in stealing from friends and this is something he did, so I beat the fuck out of him, it aint gonna change him, made me feel better a bit, but I don't need shite people like that in my life, sadly I don't forgive very easily, so he will probably never be considered my son again, I will continue paying for his schooling for however long he attends, but basically all I can say is fuck that Thai piece of shite.

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## watterinja

Remember how your partner must be feeling - it is her flesh-&-blood.

A good hiding for a young up-&-coming convict may be a good lesson - hopefully well learned.

Awful to have to go through this kind of thing.

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## dirtydog

It is not her flesh and blood, it is mine, 1 time to many now.

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## watterinja

Not an easy situation then... Take it easy & chill over a few cold ones...

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## dirtydog

I am sorry but I don't take some stupid Thai cnut stealing from his mates as a fun thing, fuck him, he chosse his own route, dumb piece of thai shite.

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## Rigger

> I am sorry but I don't take some stupid Thai cnut stealing from his mates


Can you give us a bit more info ?

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## dirtydog

He stole a mobile phone of one of the nephews who was staying here before he went to naval college.

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## Rigger

Did you make him give it back, how did you find out he stole it ?

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## dirtydog

He admitted stealing it, after that I wasn't very rational, I am not a very forgiving person and I really don't imagine I could forgive him for something like this.

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## BigRed

How old is he now? beatings are not a good way to go, tempting as it is. Too late now, don't apologise however. I think the correct route is to embarrass the hell out of him. Make him admit to his crime in person to the cousin if possible, in front of as many people who know him as you can find. Ask if the cousin if he wants to press charges, get the BiB to pay him a visit. Every time something is missing ask him if he has taken it, everything new you see him with ask him where he got it from, start locking things away and he might start realising what it is like to be treated as a criminal. 

It isn't an easy situation, but you might turn him around.

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## dirtydog

The trust has gone, he is just another thai piece of shit.

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## BigRed

I think most kids steal something at some point when growing up. It could be spare change lying around the house, sweets from a shop, alcohol cos they are underage, could be anything really. Some do it from peer pressure, some stop from peer pressure. Most stop because they get caught or have a close call. Some stop when they think through the consequences of being caught or how the other people feel. It's difficult to say really, but I don't think a good hiding is the thing that stops them. 

Maybe you can get someone else to talk to him about how disappointed you are in him and how proud you used to be. How you don't want to be out with him anymore in case he does it again and embarrasses you with your friends. 

Do it to sort him out, even if you don't trust him. With any luck you will both come around.

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## DrivingForce

DD Father of the year!!!  :goldcup:   :party43:  :WeAreNotWorthy: 

Fvck me!! And I catch hell for being there full time 24/7 for my boys in spite of struggling so badly under conditions I had no control of??.. Nope! No way! Not worthy to judge me!!  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

Did you ever think that part of his trusting you was in him admitting it to you in the first place?? Stealing is not cool clearly but by that you provided a good example of distrust by kicking the shit out of him and now disowning him??  :Blackeye:   :Hail:   :durh:   :Thumbsdown:  FFS!!

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## madjbs

Beating a child until your fists and arms hurt is just as bad as stealing a phone.

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## DrivingForce

> Beating a child until your fists and arms hurt is just as bad as stealing a phone.


I might even say worse...  :Sad:

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## helge

> Originally Posted by madjbs
> 
> 
> Beating a child until your fists and arms hurt is just as bad as stealing a phone.
> 
> 
> I might even say worse...


Yes, and its a crime or should be.

Low behavior

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## chassamui

Until you have been in this position in these circumstances, you cannot Judge anyone.
I am not a violent person but my 5 lads have driven me to impossible temptaion as far as their own safety and welfare is concerned.
That's why they have mothers, for balance. One uncharacterisic act may just be the shock thta his system needs?

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## helge

> Until you have been in this position in these circumstances, you cannot Judge anyone.


About kids stealing ?
Are you joking ? . And I can tell you, that where I come from, that kid would probaly be taken away from the father the same day as this happens, and someone would have to go to the big man for some judgement.
And thats how it should be.

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## helge

> One uncharacterisic act may just be the shock thta his system needs?


You might be right here. If I commited this crime , I would have a serios hangover the next day, and would have some thinking to do.

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## chassamui

Since when was it a crime to care enough about your kids to ensure that they know the difference between right and wrong?
Wake up and smell the winds of change blowing backwards through our once stable society.
I bet you are a health and safety advisor or a christian? maybe both.

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## madjbs

As long as they know it's wrong to steal but perfectly ok to assault people, everything will be ok ehh?

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## helge

> Well it seems I am a serial child beater now, it's now the second time and my fists and arms hurt,





> Since when was it a crime to care enough about your kids to ensure that they know the difference between right and wrong?


No, i'm not a christian. Are you ?

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## jaiyenyen

My Thai wife has two son's, they are both thieving lieing shitbags. In the past, they have stolen from me and other family members. One of them stole my sister in laws mobile, on the day my wife and I got married!!!!. As much as I have wanted to beat F**k out of them, I have always stopped myself, by walking away and counting to ten a few times. My wife and me even got the Police to take them in once, and give them a good talking to. 
The last incident was about six months ago, things seem to have settled down for the moment. They know that they will get nothing more from me, in the way of money or gifts. They also know that their mother, me and other family members don't trust them.
I used to beat myself up over not being physical with them, but the other day a couple of my brother in laws said how much they admired me by not hitting the boys. They saw me as a strong person.
I'm not convinced. I'm sure beating the shit out of them would have made me feel better.

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## chassamui

> No, i'm not a christian. Are you ?


So you admit to being H&S then?
Christian, don't make me laugh. I took back control of my own decision making process years ago.

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## crippen

It seems to me that the Thai attitude to ownership is that they share everything with each other, a sort or commune idea. Our white western ideals just do not apply to them!  This certainly is the case when things are provided by a falang. :UK:

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## jandajoy

^What a load of crap.

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## tsicar

> ^What a load of crap.


wot daffy posted?


yes, i agree

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## jandajoy

> wot daffy posted?   yes, i agree


Nope, what you posted racist, as you know only too well.

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## tsicar

> Originally Posted by tsicar
> 
> wot daffy posted? yes, i agree
> 
> 
> Nope, what you posted racist, as you know only too well.


so, what part of what i posted was crap?

aah!
...i suppose the part about me calling myself a "normal people"?

you might have a point there..........!

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## DaffyDuck

> Originally Posted by DaffyDuck
> 
> 
> Yeah --  Start a poll about assholes who beat their kids, and then dick off when they realize normal people don't consider that okay.
> 
> 
> we normal people beat our kids all the time when they deserve it.
> 
> it kinda teaches them the difference between right and wrong and that there are consequenses for breaking the rules.
> we don't like doing it but if we don't, they would probably turn out to be like thai teenagers who are mostly a bunch of ill mannered arrogant, ignorant, spoilt pieces of shite with no mannera and no consideration for others......(kinda like thai "adults", really!)


You parents beat you, didn't they?

Usually goes in lower class circles that way.

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## Muadib

^ Got nothing to do with lower class and everything to do with political correctness... 

Corporal punishment has only fallen out of vogue in the last 30 years... There was a time that if you fucked up, you got your ass beat... Taught a child self-discipline and the results of cause & effect... 

One of the problems with the Political Correctness movement is that children now have no authoritarian figure in their life and know that they can get away with whatever they want with zero repercussions...

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## astasinim

Theres a very big difference between cuffing a kid when he`s out of line, and knocking seven shades of shit out of them.

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## pickel

From my experience, the kids that I knew growing up that got frequent beatings from their parents, turned out to be scum for the most part. But I suppose people like Tsicar might say they weren't hit hard enough.

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## DaffyDuck

> Theres a very big difference between cuffing a kid when he`s out of line, and knocking seven shades of shit out of them.


Exactly - the people unable to tell the difference, including the venerable sysadmin (who, for his part, is cowardly in hiding, as well), tell you all you need to know about their own familial background.





> From my experience, the kids that I knew growing up that got frequent beatings from their parents, turned out to be scum for the most part. But I suppose people like Tsicar might say they weren't hit hard enough.


See above.

Same, been my experience as well.

Generally, when those kind of beatings go on, alcohol is usually heavily involved as well - not have to look too hard, in this particular case.

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## MeMock

> Originally Posted by DaffyDuck
> 
> 
> Yeah --  Start a poll about assholes who beat their kids, and then dick off when they realize normal people don't consider that okay.
> 
> 
> we normal people beat our kids all the time when they deserve it.
> 
> it kinda teaches them the difference between right and wrong and that there are consequenses for breaking the rules.
> we don't like doing it but if we don't, they would probably turn out to be like thai teenagers who are mostly a bunch of ill mannered arrogant, ignorant, spoilt pieces of shite with no mannera and no consideration for others......(kinda like thai "adults", really!)


Did you mean to say smack tiscar or do you indeed beat your children until your hands and arms hurt and they are black and blue just like our illustrious leader here on TD?

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## DaffyDuck

^ I think the fact that defends DD says all.

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## tsicar

> Originally Posted by tsicar
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by DaffyDuck
> ...


i mean a good hard smack on the arse with a flat hand.
i had many a good hiding when i was a kid and many a caning at school.
even got beat up by the cops once.
did me more good than harm, especially the canings at school.
no way in hell i would have had an education if it wasn't for that cane!
i was seriously out of hand when i was a kid.
trick is to keep self-control and never punish the kid out of anger, revenge or when one is pissed.

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## DaffyDuck

> i was seriously out of hand when i was a kid.


Who's fault is that? So your parents were incompetent parents, and you paid the price...




> trick is to keep self-control and never punish the kid out of anger, revenge or when one is pissed.


....and thus you are standing up to defend DD's actions, why?

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## tsicar

> Originally Posted by tsicar
> 
> 
> i was seriously out of hand when i was a kid.
> 
> 
> Who's fault is that? So your parents were incompetent parents, and you paid the price...
> 
> 
> ...


i don't remember saying anything about dd or his actions in my post.

i don't know the circumstances and therefore i am not gonna comment on his situation.

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## DaffyDuck

Oh, so you just post something unrelated in a thread that is only about dd beating the bloody senses out of his son, and considering that a good thing?

Maybe you should inform yourself first? 

But you already knew that.

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## oky

> Originally Posted by DaffyDuck
> 
> 
> Yeah --  Start a poll about assholes who beat their kids, and then dick off when they realize normal people don't consider that okay.
> 
> 
> we normal people beat our kids all the time when they deserve it.
> 
> it kinda teaches them the difference between right and wrong and that there are consequenses for breaking the rules.
> we don't like doing it but if we don't, they would probably turn out to be like thai teenagers who are mostly a bunch of ill mannered arrogant, ignorant, spoilt pieces of shite with no mannera and no consideration for others......(kinda like thai "adults", really!)



What are you doing in a thai forum with an opinion like this?
and most of all: We normal people do not beat our kids all the time! If you know of no other way to teach your kids you're a poor guy...

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## MeMock

> What are you doing in a thai forum with an opinion like this?


Unfortunately because the forum owner shares the same sentiments.  :Sad:

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## tsicar

> Originally Posted by tsicar
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by DaffyDuck
> ...


an opinion like wot? please clarify what you think my views on discipline has to do with thailand.

..and while we are on the subject, please would you post your view and the CORRECT way to go about disciplining in a manner that would ensure that a 16 year old thai son who is totally off the rails would never commit the crime of theft again, and why your method would be more effective than dd's.

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## jandajoy

> please would you post your view and the CORRECT way to go about disciplining in a manner that would ensure that a 16 year old thai son who is totally off the rails would never commit the crime of theft again, and why your method would be more effective than dd's.





So you agree with DD that beating him until your arms and fists were sore was the right way to go?

Let's remember that it is DD that said that the kid was "totally off the rails" or words to that effect.  

You really think he was justified in doing what he did?

Really?

That's how you'd communicate ( and make no mistake, we're talking about communication and understanding, therefore learning, here) with your teenage boy?

That's how you'd "help" him to develop and deal with the world?

Really?

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## Jeremia

2 weeks ago my wife's son stole 5,000 Baht from my wallet..His is 8 years old and did it to impress his mates.. So I got everybody together ..Grand parents, farm workers, missus' sister and all the kids...Everbody that eats food at lunchtime at my house during a working day..

I stood him in front of them and said he had stolen the money for their food so that they would all have to bring their own food to work for the next month. They would all be expected to cook their own food before coming to start work at 0600hrs every morning.

He was shaking uncontrolably at this time, crying and snot dribbling down his face..I even think he pissed himself..( Of course he hadn't worked out that I had found the money so there was no shortage of funds)

I then asked everybody should he receive 5 slashes of a cane which I was swishing around or should he be made to work for a month without being allowed out to see his mates...

Of course the Thais were baying for a good hangin'..So I asked him what he wanted..Poor fucker wasn't able to speak..so I held out both my hands..One with a stick and one with  a broom and told him to choose one..Of course he chose the broom...but for sure EVERYBODY is making sure he pays the penalty when I am not there...

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## tsicar

> Originally Posted by tsicar
> 
> please would you post your view and the CORRECT way to go about disciplining in a manner that would ensure that a 16 year old thai son who is totally off the rails would never commit the crime of theft again, and why your method would be more effective than dd's.
> 
> 
>  
> 
> 
> So you agree with DD that beating him until your arms and fists were sore was the right way to go?
> ...


as i posted before, i don't REALLY know the circumstances.
i had a bad experience with my eldest daughter, now 26 years old and the most well adjusted, successfull young lady that you could wish to meet.
she never had a hiding in her life and never did anything wrong: listened to logical explainaitions and reasons about why she should follow the correct route in life, blah blah etc.
well, 
...she got busted by the cops selling drugs and caused me and my then wife an hell of a lot of pain.
she got the hiding of her life (15 years old) after i bailed her out, and i fukked up her boyfriend (the one who got her into this shit in the first place) in front of her, and i did not use a flat hand on him!
no more boyfriend (his parents laid charges against me, btw), no more drugs and a relatively peacefull solution to the problem.
my second eldest daughter got a crack on the ass at least twice a day, and has NEVER strayed!
my two young sons and i have an incredible bond, and they both feel the sting of a flathand on the arse on a regular basis (the punishment fits the crime!), and we are today, all of us, a tight knit family in spite of the shit that went down over the years, including horribly ugly divorces, etc.
i have friends with kids the same ages, and some of them have been through similar shit, but went the "tolerance and discussion " route, with horrendous results:
two suicides, one jailing and one with a 35 year old drug-addict homo son living off him and in and out of drug rehab on a three monthly basis- as soon as the little piece of shit gets out of rehab he is back off to his queer buddies and the drugs: never had a hiding in his life, but i am sure that had his father followed my advice, the little prick would today be neither a drug addict nor a fukkn homo!.


of COURSE, a hiding is a last resort, after all explainations, discussions and reasoning has failed, but i still maintain that a good smack on the arse has a very real place in the bringing up of a child.

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## jandajoy

> a hiding is a last resort, after all explainations, discussions and reasoning has failed,


Don't let it fail. Work on it.

If it does fail, you've failed, miserably.

Violence simply means you've given up talking, or, alternatively, lost the ability.

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## English Noodles

> 2 weeks ago my wife's son stole 5,000 Baht from my wallet..His is 8 years old and did it to impress his mates.. So I got everybody together ..Grand parents, farm workers, missus' sister and all the kids...Everbody that eats food at lunchtime at my house during a working day..  I stood him in front of them and said he had stolen the money for their food so that they would all have to bring their own food to work for the next month. They would all be expected to cook their own food before coming to start work at 0600hrs every morning.  He was shaking uncontrolably at this time, crying and snot dribbling down his face..I even think he pissed himself..( Of course he hadn't worked out that I had found the money so there was no shortage of funds)  I then asked everybody should he receive 5 slashes of a cane which I was swishing around or should he be made to work for a month without being allowed out to see his mates...  Of course the Thais were baying for a good hangin'..So I asked him what he wanted..Poor fucker wasn't able to speak..so I held out both my hands..One with a stick and one with a broom and told him to choose one..Of course he chose the broom...but for sure EVERYBODY is making sure he pays the penalty when I am not there...


Yes, good for you. Mental cruelty can work just as well. He may harbor resentment against you for that episode for the rest of his life. He may even take revenge for that in years to come.

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## tsicar

> Originally Posted by tsicar
> 
> a hiding is a last resort, after all explainations, discussions and reasoning has failed,
> 
> 
> Don't let it fail. Work on it.
> 
> If it does fail, you've failed, miserably.
> 
> Violence simply means you've given up talking, or, alternatively, lost the ability.


i have 4 children, ranging in ages between 26 years and 8 years.
over the years i have come to realise that there are some kids who respond well to reason, and some who respond well to violence.
i feel that there should be an effort to explore the reason method before resorting to violenc, but i still believe that there is place for a good flattie or two on the arse as a last resort.
i was one of those kids who would not listen to reason.
i knew it made sense, but i WANTED to be one of the bad guys.
had it not been for regular and severe beatings, i would have turned out even worse than i did!!!

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## tsicar

> Originally Posted by Jeremia
> 
> 2 weeks ago my wife's son stole 5,000 Baht from my wallet..His is 8 years old and did it to impress his mates.. So I got everybody together ..Grand parents, farm workers, missus' sister and all the kids...Everbody that eats food at lunchtime at my house during a working day.. I stood him in front of them and said he had stolen the money for their food so that they would all have to bring their own food to work for the next month. They would all be expected to cook their own food before coming to start work at 0600hrs every morning. He was shaking uncontrolably at this time, crying and snot dribbling down his face..I even think he pissed himself..( Of course he hadn't worked out that I had found the money so there was no shortage of funds) I then asked everybody should he receive 5 slashes of a cane which I was swishing around or should he be made to work for a month without being allowed out to see his mates... Of course the Thais were baying for a good hangin'..So I asked him what he wanted..Poor fucker wasn't able to speak..so I held out both my hands..One with a stick and one with a broom and told him to choose one..Of course he chose the broom...but for sure EVERYBODY is making sure he pays the penalty when I am not there...
> 
> 
> Yes, good for you. Mental cruelty can work just as well. He may harbor resentment against you for that episode for the rest of his life. He may even take revenge for that in years to come.


ok, Dr spock!

...tell us all how this situation SHOULD have been handled better.

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## Jeremia

> Originally Posted by Jeremia
> 
> 2 weeks ago my wife's son stole 5,000 Baht from my wallet..His is 8 years old and did it to impress his mates.. So I got everybody together ..Grand parents, farm workers, missus' sister and all the kids...Everbody that eats food at lunchtime at my house during a working day.. I stood him in front of them and said he had stolen the money for their food so that they would all have to bring their own food to work for the next month. They would all be expected to cook their own food before coming to start work at 0600hrs every morning. He was shaking uncontrolably at this time, crying and snot dribbling down his face..I even think he pissed himself..( Of course he hadn't worked out that I had found the money so there was no shortage of funds) I then asked everybody should he receive 5 slashes of a cane which I was swishing around or should he be made to work for a month without being allowed out to see his mates... Of course the Thais were baying for a good hangin'..So I asked him what he wanted..Poor fucker wasn't able to speak..so I held out both my hands..One with a stick and one with a broom and told him to choose one..Of course he chose the broom...but for sure EVERYBODY is making sure he pays the penalty when I am not there...
> 
> 
> Yes, good for you. Mental cruelty can work just as well. He may harbor resentment against you for that episode for the rest of his life. He may even take revenge for that in years to come.


 
Yes I learnt it in the "Ashford Warehouse" ..good interrogation techniques are never forgotten....Tosser

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## English Noodles

> tell us all how this situation SHOULD have been handled better.


Talking to him by himself or with only him and his mother there may have been a good start. Making him look like a complete twat in front of those people the way you did was certainly not the way forward (IMO).

Trying to find out the reason behind the stealing would help you both. Younger children often have difficulty with self-control. A child may take  something although he knows that stealing is wrong simply because he  can't help himself. You have to give your child the ability to get what  he wants in an honest way and also you should try to minimize the  temptation.

Children are completely dependent on their parents for all of their  needs. A child who feels that his needs are not being met will  eventually take the matter into his own hands. The easiest way for a  child to do this is to take what he needs.

Just make sure you keep the gun cabinet locked in future.

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## Jools

Damn!, Dog, you are one intense mofo, but I can understand your feelings.
Since I don't have children, I would not even know how to begin to deal with this shite.

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## tsicar

> Originally Posted by tsicar
> 
> tell us all how this situation SHOULD have been handled better.
> 
> 
> Talking to him by himself or with only him and his mother there may have been a good start. Making him look like a complete twat in front of those people the way you did was certainly not the way forward (IMO).
> 
> Trying to find out the reason behind the stealing would help you both. Younger children often have difficulty with self-control. A child may take something although he knows that stealing is wrong simply because he can't help himself. You have to give your child the ability to get what he wants in an honest way and also you should try to minimize the temptation.
> 
> ...


noodles.
what you just sed makes a little bit of sense, in theory.
the part about the kid stealing coz his "needs" are not met needs to be qualified, tho:
if he stole food coz he was hungry,(need) i could understand what you were getting at.
if he stole a cellphone, it had nothing to do with a need, but a want, and a bloody good hiding for a sixteen year old adult would be quite in order to teach him that he cannot simply take what belongs to others to satisfy his WANTS!

...........mind telling us just how many kids YOU have raised?

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## Jools

Careful,DD, you'll get a  reputation as a Thai-O-phile :Smile: 





> I would quite happily beat the shite out of him again tonight, if i could find the fuk, but its a big building, I have never apart from last night said he was Thai scum to him or anybody else, he has proved himself to be as low as Thai scum, the nephew or I think cousin is the better description is Thai and his parents are doing him proud, my son has proved he is just Thai scum.

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## 8ball

Physically beating your 16-year old kid is right out of line

that can never be condoned,,,,,ever

I'm a father of 3 ,,,so I do have some experience

if a kid is 'out of control' at 16,, 
then that speaks to bad parenting in his ealier years

this would be apparent to any parent

 :UK:

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## nidhogg

> Originally Posted by English Noodles
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by Jeremia
> ...


You punished the boy about 5 times for the same thing asshole.

Humiliation, and a beating, and a drawn out set too with the rest of the family.

fer fuck sake.  he did something wrong.  Punish him ONCE for it, then the slate is clean.  Having the family pissed at him for a month is sheer fuckery.

And tiscar.  You don't get it do you?  (same as dog).  If you are still "beating" a kid when he is 15 or 16 - you already lost.  That way don't work for that kid.

You don't teach them anything at this point except "might is right"  - and when that boy is big enough (and fer DD) they are going to knock seven kinds of crap out of you.  Thats what you taught them, and that will be a fine day.

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## 8ball

Education comes in many forms

it can be a double-edged sword






> If you are still "beating" a kid when he is 15 or 16 - you already lost



quite so,,,,,,, ::chitown::

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## 12Call

Sounds like another DD Snowy type rant after a few sherry's. 16 pages..........plenty have taken the bait.

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## wefearourdespot

> So you agree with DD that beating him until your arms and fists were sore was the right way to go?


Of course not.
He should have used a rod so that his arms and fists wouldn't get sore in the first place, and the beating could have continued almost until death.
A few months of hospitalization would have helped the boy to find the time to meditate over his misdeeds.

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## 12Call

> Originally Posted by jandajoy
> 
> So you agree with DD that beating him until your arms and fists were sore was the right way to go?
> 
> 
> Of course not.
> He should have used a rod so that his arms and fists wouldn't get sore in the first place, and the beating could have continued almost until death.
> A few months of hospitalization would have helped the boy to find the time to meditate over his misdeeds.



DD would have had to foot the hospital bin.

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## MeMock

> Sounds like another DD Snowy type rant after a few sherry's. 16 pages..........plenty have taken the bait.


Yep, lets just blame it on the booze. He made it all up. Right?

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## 12Call

> Originally Posted by 12Call
> 
> 
> Sounds like another DD Snowy type rant after a few sherry's. 16 pages..........plenty have taken the bait.
> 
> 
> Yep, lets just blame it on the booze. He made it all up. Right?



Would not be the first time..................it may have been a slow day back in 2009 on the forum.

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## oky

> Originally Posted by jandajoy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by tsicar
> ...



"and we are today, all of us, a tight knit family" ...with you as prison guard.

"neither a drug addict nor a fukkn homo!" ...so if you beat a son he does not get homo?

----------


## Marmite the Dog

I do like people who think a slap on the backside or hand is 'violence'. Very funny, carry on...

----------


## jandajoy

> I do like people who think a slap on the backside or hand is 'violence'. Very funny, carry on...


What is it then?

----------


## tsicar

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> I do like people who think a slap on the backside or hand is 'violence'. Very funny, carry on...
> 
> 
> What is it then?


persuasion!

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
> 
> I do like people who think a slap on the backside or hand is 'violence'. Very funny, carry on...
> 
> 
> What is it then?


Corrective teaching. Much preferable the the idiots who think their little darlings are the apple of everyone's eye, not just their own as they piss off everyone within spitting distance.

I'd rather have a disciplined child over 'New Age BS' child any day. Talking to infants like they're adults; very funny.

----------


## jandajoy

> Corrective teaching. Much preferable the the idiots who think their little darlings are the apple of everyone's eye, not just their own as they piss off everyone within spitting distance.  I'd rather have a disciplined child over 'New Age BS' child any day. Talking to infants like they're adults; very funny.



So when does your "Corrective teaching" become violence?

----------


## Mid

there is a lot of truth in the old sayings ,

_spare the rod and spoil the child 

this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you_

don't believe me , have a good look at some of the garbage walking the streets these days .

----------


## jandajoy

> there is a lot of truth in the old sayings ,  spare the rod and spoil the child  this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you  don't believe me , have a good look at some of the garbage walking the streets these days .


Sorry Mid, we'll have to agree to disagree.

If you're suggesting that the current garbage walking the streets wouldn't be garbage if they'd all got plenty of "rod" then we're in total disagreement.

IMHO after 30+ years of working with kids, the majority of the "garbage" has been produced by "garbage" parents who used violence through ignorance, abuse through fear and successfully produce violent, frightened, ignorant abusers.

----------


## Mid

not plenty of rod , simply an understanding of what the rules are and the consequences of breaking them , something parents used to see as their duty in raising a family .

----------


## jandajoy

> simply an understanding of what the rules are and the consequences of breaking them , something parents used to see as their duty in raising a family .


100% agreement there, mate.

I just don't see the need, nor ever have, of using physical violence as a consequence.

----------


## Mid

nature has given us pain as a learning tool , put your hand on a hot object , it burns and hurts , your not likely to do that again ,

now before anyone starts I AM NOT suggesting utilizing burning as a source of pain .

however a stick to the posterior is not something one wishes to repeat ..................

----------


## kmart

Problem is that a lot of people think that their child is a Mozart; Rembrandt; Da Vinci; etc, and that any sort of discipline might stifle their little genius' creative instinct.
To other people however, it's just another obnoxious, spoilt little brat..

Kids are like farts; you can only stand your own.

----------


## Mr Earl

> Originally Posted by Jeremia
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by English Noodles
> ...


The kid is damn lucky he had someone with some backbone laying out the punishment. He got a lesson he'll never forget.
If he turns out bad well at least he had someone who cared enough to try and set him straight.
Unfortunately some kids are simply bad and there isn't much you can do about until they experience an epiphany of some kind.

I reckon this kid had an epiphany after that. Excellent parenting Jeremia!

----------


## jandajoy

> The kid is damn lucky he had someone with some backbone laying out the punishment.


"Backbone"? 

The kid was 8 years old. FFS.

----------


## jandajoy

> If he turns out bad well at least he had someone who cared enough to try and set him straight.


What the fok is that meant to mean?

----------


## jandajoy

> Unfortunately some kids are simply bad and there isn't much you can do about until they experience an epiphany of some kind.  I reckon this kid had an epiphany after that. Excellent parenting Jeremia!



I hope, I seriously hope that you do not have children in your care.

----------


## jandajoy

> 2 weeks ago my wife's son stole 5,000 Baht from my wallet..His is 8 years old and did it to impress his mates.. So I got everybody together ..Grand parents, farm workers, missus' sister and all the kids...Everbody that eats food at lunchtime at my house during a working day..  I stood him in front of them and said he had stolen the money for their food so that they would all have to bring their own food to work for the next month. They would all be expected to cook their own food before coming to start work at 0600hrs every morning.  He was shaking uncontrolably at this time, crying and snot dribbling down his face..I even think he pissed himself..( Of course he hadn't worked out that I had found the money so there was no shortage of funds)  I then asked everybody should he receive 5 slashes of a cane which I was swishing around or should he be made to work for a month without being allowed out to see his mates...  Of course the Thais were baying for a good hangin'..So I asked him what he wanted..Poor fucker wasn't able to speak..so I held out both my hands..One with a stick and one with a broom and told him to choose one..Of course he chose the broom...but for sure EVERYBODY is making sure he pays the penalty when I am not there...



As a point of information;

If you'd done this to this 8 year old in any of the countries I've worked in I, as a school principal, would have done everything in my power to have you prosecuted.

With out a shadow of a doubt. 

You did all this to an 8 year old.

You sir, are a primitive animal, and should not be allowed near children.

----------


## Norton

JJ, a serious question.  Is there any circumstance where you would practice or condone a swat on the bum or a slap on the hand of an unruly child?

----------


## jandajoy

> JJ, a serious question. Is there any circumstance where you would practice or condone a swat on the bum or a slap on the hand of an unruly child?


Yes, certainly as a shock tactic i.e wake up and pay attention. Not as a way of inflicting pain.

Wake 'em up, get their attention, then talk.

But not a slap or a swat to inflict pain as the be all and end all.

I've seen so many examples of parents and guardians slapping or swatting the kid for some perceived infraction, but the kid really had no idea why they'd been hit.

Again, a nudge, a poke, whatever, to get attention focused. Then talk it through. Work it out and, if neccessary impose sanctions or whatever, as long as they're understood.

----------


## Norton

OK. Fair enough and I agree.  Doesn't do much good to swat a kid if they have no idea why.

----------


## Rural Surin

> JJ, a serious question.  Is there any circumstance where you would practice or condone a swat on the bum or a slap on the hand of an unruly child?


Children, by their very natural resisting nature, will expect to find items in their lives against them. The troubled child, the deviant and mischievous child, the curious child should be expected to bloom.....as it was with all of us. When one {an adult authority} has to resort to physical punishment, you've already lost them. Compare a little one with a strong and stable familial and social environment, and those whom don't. A key factor.

----------


## teddy

> ...Again, a nudge, a poke, whatever, to get attention focused...


You would poke a child?

----------


## jandajoy

> You would poke a child?


You're being silly.

----------


## nidhogg

> JJ, a serious question. Is there any circumstance where you would practice or condone a swat on the bum or a slap on the hand of an unruly child?


Just to put that in context, I think tiscar said (without checking, so I am ready to be corrected) that he smacked his son "till his arms hurt" and dog along the lines of beating seven kinds of crap out of his son.

These don't really fit with "a swat on the bum" or "a slap on the hand".

For a small child, a quick smack on the leg (singular for "smack") can be instructive, but by the time you are talking around 10, or even worse teens, you are wasting your time.  As I said before, all you are doing at this time is teaching "might is right".

----------


## Rural Surin

> Originally Posted by Norton
> 
> 
> JJ, a serious question. Is there any circumstance where you would practice or condone a swat on the bum or a slap on the hand of an unruly child?
> 
> 
> Just to put that in context, I think tiscar said (without checking, so I am ready to be corrected) that he smacked his son "till his arms hurt" and dog along the lines of beating seven kinds of crap out of his son.
> 
> These don't really fit with "a swat on the bum" or "a slap on the hand".
> ...


I believe I wouldn't refer such actions as 'teaching'.....

----------


## nidhogg

> Originally Posted by nidhogg
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by Norton
> ...


Point duly noted.

----------


## Norton

> These don't really fit with "a swat on the bum" or "a slap on the hand".


Understand they don't.  I just got the sense reading some JJ's comments he would never use any sort of slap or swat on a child. He clarified for me and I agreed.  

When I was a young lad, if I really screwed up mom would hunt me down with a willow switch and whack my bottom all the way home.  I always knew the reason for the whacks and must admit, they left an impression.

----------


## oky

Some people just shouldn'd be allowed near children.

----------


## tsicar

[quote=Norton;1509772]


> quote]
> mom would hunt me down with a willow switch and whack my bottom all the way home. I always knew the reason for the whacks and must admit, they left an impression.


no WONDER you turned out the way you did, norton!

 :smiley laughing:

----------


## tsicar

> Originally Posted by Mid
> 
> there is a lot of truth in the old sayings , spare the rod and spoil the child this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you don't believe me , have a good look at some of the garbage walking the streets these days .
> 
> 
> Sorry Mid, we'll have to agree to disagree.
> 
> If you're suggesting that the current garbage walking the streets wouldn't be garbage if they'd all got plenty of "rod" then we're in total disagreement.
> .


ok.
have a good look at the isaan teenagers in the villages.
parents on the whole never use "violence" to discipline them
the schools never use "violence" to discipline them.
everything is the softlee-softlee-coax and cajole" aproach.

...and i have never ever come across a worse bunch of human garbage in my entire fukkn life!
no discipline, no respect, no manners, no consideration for others, no self-respect, no ambition, no drive, no interest in anything, no moral or ethical values whatsoever.

the only ones i ever met who differed from this generalisation were the ones who had a strict upbringing, whose parents used "violence" when necessary to get them back in line when they strayed. 
i totally agree with trying to reason and explain first, and if that approach works, then there is no need to take it to the next level, but if it has no visible effect, then i still maintain that my method (three verbal warnings and then a flathand to the arse) is the way to produce results.

----------


## INTJ

^^^"Some people just shouldn'd be allowed near children"

How true that is.


^"human garbage"

At least you got that bit right.

----------


## kmart

> Originally Posted by jandajoy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by Mid
> ...


It's no big surprise that the ethnic Chinese dominate business, politics, and science in this region generally.

----------


## INTJ

^What has that got to do with beating your kids ?

How many Thai-Chinese families do you know well enough to say if they use violence towards their children or not ?

Cheers

----------


## wefearourdespot

> Kids are like farts; you can *hardly* stand your own.


amended  :Smile:

----------


## wefearourdespot

> Originally Posted by Mr Earl
> 
> The kid is damn lucky he had someone with some backbone laying out the punishment.
> 
> 
> "Backbone"? 
> 
> The kid was 8 years old. FFS.


Yet he stole the equivalent of one month of salary.
I wonder if the son of a common farmer had done the same thing would he still be alive ?

----------


## jandajoy

> Yet he stole the equivalent of one month of salary.


From the Falang.

Do you think he understood how much he was taking? 

Do you thing he appreciated its worth?

Do you think this justified the punishment meted out to him?

----------


## ossierob

Violence begets violence......how does that help ANY situation let alone portray to be a positive learning experience.......I agree with the inference that some people just dont deserve kids.

----------


## wefearourdespot

> Do you think he understood how much he was taking?


He surely did once he started spending it. And he spent it till the last satang , with no regret whatsoever.

----------


## wefearourdespot

> I agree with the inference that *some people* just dont deserve kids.


 So their misdeeds should go unpunished ?

----------


## tsicar

> Originally Posted by wefearourdespot
> 
> Yet he stole the equivalent of one month of salary.
> 
> 
> From the Falang.
> 
> Do you think he understood how much he was taking? 
> 
> ...


does it matter what the value of the goods was?

theft is theft.
the value of the goods has nothing to do with it.

...and if the little shit gets away with a simple lecture as punishment, he will soon learn that the likely penalty for his crime was worth taking the risk for.
beat the shit out of him and he might just stop to think next time he is tempted to help himself to someone else's stuff again.


i had a thai kid steal my cellphone from my home once.
knew who the little shit was, and my kids both saw him do it, so i took a trip to the school in the morning and raised almighty hell.
the principal assured me that he would get my telephone back, and to his credit, when i got there to fetch my kids, he duly produced the telephone, and he begged me not to lay a charge at the copshop cos this boy was basically a good boy, blah dee bloody blah etc.
well, i agreed, on condition that he called in the kid's parents, and explain to the whole bloody lot of them that the little thief had gotten off lightly and that the child needed some discipline, etc.


fukt if i didn't come home about three days later to find the little kunt and his friend rifling through our stuff in the house AGAIN!
they claimed that they just needed to use the toilet, so after a cursory check confirmed that nothing was missing, i untwisted their ears and released them. 
three days later i found that my expensive fishing reels that i had cherished for a couple of decades were missing, some parts of one of them found in the bush where i had found the third suspect (the lookout), hiding.

later found out that breaking and entering anybody's abode is considered a SERIOUS crime in thailand, and that this kid would have been in serious shit had i gotten the cops involved , and i regret that i had ever shown any mercy at all, because he learned nothing at all from his experience and sadly,went on to remain a piece of worthless shite instead of learning that crime has a price.

----------


## tsicar

> ^What has that got to do with beating your kids ?
> 
> How many Thai-Chinese families do you know well enough to say if they use violence towards their children or not ?
> 
> Cheers


the ones i met in isaan definitely had better moral/ethical values, and were all strict disciplinarians.
their kids were far better mannered, open to education, seemed to have a work ethic, helpfull and respectfull and on the whole, a far better class of people.

....not that i am saying that that this has anything to do with how they brought up their kids, of course, but it DOES seem strange that they seem to do better in life and have less grief from their kids than do the thais who don't discipline their brats at all!!!

----------


## Bower

I had a few good hidings as a kid, and deserved them.
I smacked my kids open hand on the backside. I have 3 boys and 1 girl.
The boys are 40,34 and 17 the girl 16. Have never had reason to smack the girl.

I also have 7 grandchildren 19, 15, 4,2x3 2, 1,
I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren, they get almost anything they want out of me, from a car to a packet of sweets. I have never smacked any of them.
One look from me and they desist from any undesirable behavior and one word from me over the phone has more effect than anything their parents can do.
How have i achived this loving respect ?..............I dont know but it sure has not involved anything like to the hidings i got or the smacks i gave my children.

----------


## billy the kid

i think in the future when all this is fogotten your boy will know how to get his message across. 
he'll just beat the shit out of, whoever upsets him.
he will have learnt that violence works.

----------


## INTJ

> Originally Posted by INTJ
> 
> 
> ^What has that got to do with beating your kids ?
> 
> How many Thai-Chinese families do you know well enough to say if they use violence towards their children or not ?
> 
> Cheers
> 
> ...



Beating your kids is a mainly working class pastime in Thailand.

People with better moral and ethical values don't tend to beat their kids.......more intelligent people understand how to maintain discipline (via a good, stong relationship with their children) without resorting to violence.  

Perhaps some people can even remember back to when they were small children themselves, their angry father looming over them and belting them in the face repeatedly, not really understanding how they could deserve this..... The end result for some may a deep hatred and loathing of the father, so eventually as the coffin slides through the curtains they think "som nam na" and smile to themselves... And vow, _no matter what_, that they will never raise a hand to their own children, hence breaking the cycle.............

It begins with the parents.

----------


## patsycat

My father had "the look" that would stop anyone in their tracks.

Also the old mantra of "go to your room and don't come out until you can behave" has come back to haunt me after reading this thread.

I was smacked but not often.

----------


## Panda

> Originally Posted by jandajoy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by Mid
> ...


I see much the same thing in aboriginal culture around where I live here in Oz. 
The kids are a protected species with very little disipline until they mature in their mid teens. Then they are expected to act like adults despite never having learned how to behave in adult society. They just keep acting like undisciplined big kids and often get a beating (or end up in jail) for their anti-social behaviour. 
I think its something to do with the extended family set up where kids are not just the property of the parents, but part of the wider family group.

One thing I must say about Issarn kids is that although they lack formal disipline as we would see it, they are given chores from an early age to support the family group. I have visited my Thai family in laws several times and was always amazed to see the little kids as young as three pitching in to help the family economy. By that I mean that after dinner and the mandatory shower, the kids would sit down and help prepare the produce for the market next day. Maybe an hours work stripping banana leaves. But still a big job for a little kid.

Its a different kind of disipline directed to support the family group in the extended family situation, but doesnt extend to behaving appropriately in broader society. In a culture where your existence and quality of life depends on the success of the extended family group, the emphasis is on how to interact within the family rather than the western nuclear family emphasis on getting along and behaving appropriately in broader society. I guess it comes down to almost a tribal thing, but thats the way poor people survive, and thats the way it was in our own western culture up until about a hundred years ago when we were still dependant on family rather than government to bail us out in hard times.

----------


## jandajoy

> I see much the same thing in aboriginal culture around where I live here in Oz.


Where would that be then, mate?

----------


## English Noodles

> Beating your kids is a mainly working class pastime in Thailand.


You got a link to a study or government stats that shows this to be true? Or is it just a guess?

----------


## Begbie

^You should have included the full enormity of the quote




> Beating your kids is a mainly working class pastime in Thailand.
> 
> People with better moral and ethical values don't tend to beat their kids


I think most people would object to equating money with morals, especially in Thailand.

----------


## teddy

> Originally Posted by INTJ
> 
>  Beating your kids is a mainly working class pastime in Thailand.
> 
> 
> You got a link to a study or government stats that shows this to be true? Or is it just a guess?


The elite pay someone to batter their children and as the remainder of the population is working class, logic dictates they are the ones who hit their children. You may not like it but facts speak for themselves.

----------


## Panda

> Originally Posted by Panda
> 
> I see much the same thing in aboriginal culture around where I live here in Oz.
> 
> 
> Where would that be then, mate?


Its a big place south east of Thailand. Half way between Africa and South America. :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## jandajoy

> Its a big place south east of Thailand. Half way between Africa and South America.


Terrific.

You've really no idea, have you?

Panda, my old sweet, just what experiences have you had with the indigenous population of Australia?

Really?

Don't be shy, spit it all out.

What the fuck do you really know about Aboriginal people in Australia?

----------


## Panda

> Originally Posted by Panda
> 
> Its a big place south east of Thailand. Half way between Africa and South America.
> 
> 
> Terrific.
> 
> You've really no idea, have you?
> 
> ...


Mate, I live in a small remote community and have lived and worked among Aboriginal people for the past 14 years. 

Whats the big deal about wanting to know where I live and what my connection with Aboriginal people is anyway?

----------


## jandajoy

> Mate, I live in a small remote community and have lived and worked among Aboriginal people for the past 14 years.


Where?

----------


## English Noodles

> Whats the big deal about wanting to know where I live and what my connection with Aboriginal people is anyway?


Quite relevant after you wrote this.


> I see much the same thing in aboriginal culture around where I live here in Oz. 
> The kids are a protected species with very little disipline until they  mature in their mid teens. Then they are expected to act like adults  despite never having learned how to behave in adult society. They just  keep acting like undisciplined big kids and often get a beating (or end  up in jail) for their anti-social behaviour. 
> I think its something to do with the extended family set up where kids  are not just the property of the parents, but part of the wider family  group.

----------


## jandajoy

Panda, just give me a clue.

W.A.
NT

Where ?

And do you drink the water in your community?

----------


## jandajoy

Second question....


What's your role in the community, mate?

As you obviously know, you don't have white fellas living in an Aboriginal community doing nothing. They have to have jobs.

What's your job in you Aboriginal community?

----------


## jandajoy

Panda, you piece of shit.

You do not work in an aboriginal community.

You have no idea about Aboriginal affairs.

You, sir, are a twat.

----------


## Bower

JJ sits on the fence again ....... :smiley laughing:

----------


## Lorenzo

> I don't need shite people like that in my life, sadly I don't forgive very easily, so he will probably never be considered my son again,


I gave my dad good reason to take that view more than once. I am sure glad he didn't give me the toss. Life is long,  see what happens with time.

----------


## Panda

> Panda, you piece of shit.
> 
> You do not work in an aboriginal community.
> 
> You have no idea about Aboriginal affairs.
> 
> You, sir, are a twat.


Very nasty there JJ.

I have no intention of giving my exact location or occupation.

You are starting to sound like a stalker.

Think what you like. Your opinion matters little to me.

----------


## INTJ

> Originally Posted by INTJ
> 
>  Beating your kids is a mainly working class pastime in Thailand.
> 
> 
> You got a link to a study or government stats that shows this to be true? Or is it just a guess?



The statement was based on my experiences and observations, YMMV


Cheers

----------


## English Noodles

Okay, so it was an unsubstantiated statement that was no more than a guess. In other words you just made it up.

----------


## English Noodles

INTJ, maybe you could tell me in what capacity you observed this behaviour and gained this experience from which you draw this conclusion?

----------


## 12Call

Who has the stats on how many posts JJ has made on this thread ?

----------


## English Noodles

jandajoy 26 DrivingForce 24 Panda 23 passengers 22 dirtydog 19                        watterinja               16   Loy Toy 16 tsicar 16 Lily 13 helge 12 Rural Surin 9 chassamui 9 Nietzsche 9 Butterfly 8 English Noodles 8 MeMock 8 Norton 7 nidhogg 6 good2bhappy 5 Chairman Mao 5 wefearourdespot 5 Nawty 5 Muadib 4 12Call 4 crippen 4 INTJ 4 Rigger 4 BigRed 4 DrB0b 4 kmart 4 Bexar County Stud 3 November Rain 3 NickA 3 Mid 3 rotator 3 Marmite the Dog 3 mad_dog 3 oky 3 Dug 2 teddy 2 larvidchr 2 Jeremia 2 Plan B 2 madjbs 2 Bower 2 Propagator 2 Spin 2 astasinim 2 Jools 2 jaiyenyen 2 tjyflhol 2 Begbie 2 8ball 2 kingwilly 2 ossierob 1 Looper 1 Jet Gorgon 1 patsycat 1 somtamslap 1 Attilla the Hen 1 peterpan 1 TizMe 1 Lorenzo 1 Escapeeeeeee 1 Fabian 1 nedwalk 1 Patrick 1 pickel 1 billy the kid 1 Airportwo 1 Mr Earl 1 Mathos 1 melvbot 1

----------


## jandajoy

27 now      :bananaman:

----------


## Rural Surin

> 27 now


Post trollop.

----------


## Rural Surin

> INTJ, maybe you could tell me in what capacity you observed this behaviour and gained this experience from which you draw this conclusion?


A common denominator around here....don't you pay attention anymore, Noodles? Talking out one's arse and general knee-jerk opnions based on mythical stereotype is par.

----------


## English Noodles

^Yes, I wanted him to acknowledge that he did indeed just pull this 'fact' out of thin air, so to speak.

----------


## Loy Toy

> Yes, I wanted him to acknowledge that he did indeed just pull this 'fact' out of thin air, so to speak.


I have lived here for a long time and have never seen a Thai parent beat their child.

My wife will tap our kids on the bums when naughty but physical violence against children here by their parents I have never witnessed.

----------


## English Noodles

> I have lived here for a long time and have never seen a Thai parent beat there child.  My wife will tap our kids on the bums when naughty but physical violence against children here by their parents I have never witnessed.


I have witnessed children being beaten by it's mother on two separate occasions in Thailand, that is in the 9 years that I have lived here in Bangkok full time.

Obviously INJT has experienced it enough times to confidently draw the conclusion that he did, so I would like to know in what capacity he has been involved in such situations to be able to assert such a conclusion.

----------


## Loy Toy

> Obviously INJT has experienced it enough times to confidently draw the conclusion that he did


Well he is logged on mate.

How about it INTJ? You can justify your claim or not?

----------


## Panda

The consensus seems to be that whities beat their kids a lot more than Thais.
And Thai kids get into more trouble when they grow up. So therefore beating your kids is good for them?

----------


## Begbie

> Panda, just give me a clue.
> 
> W.A.
> NT
> 
> Where ?
> 
> And do you drink the water in your community?


I reckon he's a male nurse  ::chitown::

----------


## jandajoy

> I reckon he's a male nurse


You could well be right. Nurse or teacher?

----------


## Chairman Mao

> I have lived here for a long time and have never seen a Thai parent beat their child.


Or acknowledge their existence through any form of proper parenting, for that matter.  :bananaman: 

You know, stopping them from playing with scissors, sitting them on the steering column of their scooter, allowing them to play unattended in busy sois at 3 years of age...

Well it could be a very long post so shall wrap it up here.  :Smile:

----------


## 9999

> Okay, so it was an unsubstantiated statement that was no more than a guess. In other words you just made it up.


If he registers a domain name and puts up a website with the comments in question, would it then be substantiated?

----------


## tsicar

[quote=Loy Toy;1513118][quote="English Noodles"]


> My wife will tap our kids on the bums when naughty but physical violence against children here by their parents I have never witnessed.


well, that tap on the arse you just posted about constitutes physical violence according to some posters here.

----------


## tsicar

> Originally Posted by tsicar
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by INTJ
> ...


fukkitt!

that's a really ugly picture you just conjured up.
i'm so depressed, i think i will just have another brandy and then go beat my kids up to make me feel better!

----------


## larvidchr

Some people do get a bit over the top about corporal punishment, a rare small tap in the bottom is okay in my book, children is not always old enough that you can reason with them in long meaningful conversations.

But hitting with instruments, fists, and in the face is not acceptable, but again I am not going to say a flat hand on the chin of a big unruly teenager cant justifiably have seemed the only course of action available at the time for some desperate but still loving parents.

Nothing is ever just completely black or white.

What I will say I have seen here in Thailand and incidentally in the US more than most places, is children being allowed to be completely little brat tyrants, possible from misunderstood parenting.

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## tsicar

> Some people do get a bit over the top about corporal punishment, a small tap in the bottom is okay in my book, children is not always old enough that you can reason with them in long meaningful conversations.
> 
> But hitting with instruments, fists, and in the face is not acceptable, but again I am not going to say a flat hand on the chin of a big unruly teenager cant justifiably have seemed the only course of action available at the time for some desperate but still loving parents.
> 
> Nothing is ever just completely black or white.
> 
> What I will say I have seen here in Thailand and incidentally in the US more than most places, is children being allowed to be completely little brat tyrants, possible from misunderstood parenting.


prezaceterly.

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## 12Call

I never suggested DD was a bully.

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## Cujo

My four year old very occasionally gets a one open hand slap on the butt. 
he got one on the weekend. i don't know where he got it from but he spat at another kid. i was so mad I doidn't know what to do so I slapped his arse, once, and not too hard but enough that he knew it and made him sit in his chair sobbing (more out of shock than pain) and wouldn't let anyone else talk to him for 10 minutes or so.
I really just didn't know what else to do, it was a very aggressive and nasty thing to do (the spitting).

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## greyman68

Well DD, discipline the way you want , but don't cry poor fella me when you wake up in a prison cell with a big hairy bloke called Bubba, and he decides to discipline you.

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## DrAndy

> My four year old very occasionally gets a one open hand slap on the butt. 
> he got one on the weekend. i don't know where he got it from but he spat at another kid. i was so mad I doidn't know what to do so I slapped his arse, once, and not too hard but enough that he knew it and made him sit in his chair sobbing (more out of shock than pain) and wouldn't let anyone else talk to him for 10 minutes or so.
> I really just didn't know what else to do, it was a very aggressive and nasty thing to do (the spitting).


 
agreed, a kid spitting is not nice, but answering that type of aggression with another hardly helps matters

making him sit on a chair for ten minutes would have been enough, with a small talk about how spitting is bad

I am not being holier than thou, I have smacked my older kids in the past, but I think I have learnt from my mistakes and would not do it again to my youngest kid

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## hillbilly

What would you guys do if your toddler kept trying to stick something/anything in the electrical outlets? Sure you could kid proof the house but what about at another house when your not around?

What I did was smack my daughter's hand so she learned this was a no-no.

As she got older I smacked her butt a few times. And no she was not sticking items into the electrical outlet.

Closer to being a teenager a sharp smack on her head served the purpose.

My old man use to beat me and I have tried to be just the opposite. But sometimes...

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## nidhogg

> My old man use to beat me and I have tried to be just the opposite. But sometimes...


Been there as well.  Most of my childrearing ethos comes from making bloody sure I do not do what my Dad did to me.

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## DrAndy

agreed, beating and smacking were thought normal back then

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## hillbilly

All I know is my daughter is 11 and looks 15. The arguments are endless...

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## 12Call

> All I know is my daughter is 11 and looks 15. The arguments are endless...


How can you gauge how old your daughter looks when you know her age ? (maybe she is waiting on you to get the internet connection I have been asking for !)

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## baby maker

This is it's own quaint way is quite an interesting thread.

The mother has such an all encompassing influence on the child that if you are not working together, you may as well forget it.

So Gents if you are not the head of the house.....that is if you  don't control your woman or women as the case may be.....forget it... move on.

Now this will draw flack.....

my women fear me and my children love me.

If you want it to work that's the way it's to be.....

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## 12Call

> This is it's own quaint way is quite an interesting thread.
> 
> The mother has such an all encompassing influence on the child that if you are not working together, you may as well forget it.
> 
> So Gents if you are not the head of the house.....that is if you  don't control your woman or women as the case may be.....forget it... move on.
> 
> Now this will draw flack.....
> 
> my women fear me and my children love me.
> ...


You better watch your back.

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## baby maker

> Originally Posted by baby maker
> 
> 
> This is it's own quaint way is quite an interesting thread.
> 
> The mother has such an all encompassing influence on the child that if you are not working together, you may as well forget it.
> 
> So Gents if you are not the head of the house.....that is if you don't control your woman or women as the case may be.....forget it... move on.
> 
> ...


 
Agree totally.....has it's hairy moments.

But Hey!....Who wants to live forever....just with dignity....that is dignity for all members of your family.

God bless.....another obsolete idea.

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