#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Living In Thailand Forum >  >  > Health, Fitness and Hospitals in Thailand >  >  Thai Girl Pregnant

## In Trouble

Hi Everyone,

I have been on many Thailand forums including Thai Visa and Ajarn.com. I have posted around the various boards some and am very embarassed to tell this story and ask the following questions.

Background: 

I think I got a Thai girl pregnant. She told me via email, after my trip there, about 1-1/2 months after our first nights together. She did so only when I was not very attentive to her emails so I kind of thought she was doing this for attention and also since she told me this very matter of factly. However I wrote her again in order to be more attentive and after that she writes back and says that she "think something but not to worry". After that, the emails were again all nice and sweet as usual for the next month.

Well, ok... We did bump nasties with no protection but I saw the toilet seat shaped birth control pills in her purse and I kind of took it for granted she was taking them. When I left, completing the first trip, I turned to her at the hotel and said "YOU TAKE PILL OK?" while motioning a rounded stomach. Very stupid on my part. Please do not remind me of how stupid I am, my friends are taking care of that part. 

Then I went back to Thailand at what would have been the 2-1/2 month point. I saw her and spent 2 nights with her. I figured if anything was up she would have sure told me then. Everything was rosy as on the first trip. So that reinforced my belief that she wanted attention. Then I told her on night 3 that I wanted a night alone and she storms out of the hotel with a serious attitude. We never saw each other again that trip. She writes me again saying she is pregnant once I return home. She never told me anything while I was there during the 2 nights and 2 days I was with her so again I think she is trying to keep me around with this story and I told her that she should not play games. I don't hear from her again. 

My friends go to Thailand about 2 weeks ago and all of a sudden they are hearing all this shit (we run in the same circles) and "oh by the way she does look a bit bigger Joe". OH NO, WTF? Upon further questioning of my friends this is looking like the worst is actually happening.

She had birth control and I can't verify if she was taking them but they were definitely in her purse and I did remind her that she needs to take them. Yeah I am stupid also but WHY DID SHE NOT TELL ME WHEN I WAS THERE? DAMN. 

Additional Information: 

Everyone who knows her and knows me are corroborating her story. 

****Yes she is a Pattaya bargirl.

****I am going to step up to this until I get contradicting info.

****She is 4-1/2 months now and will be 5 months when I get there.

****It is ultimately her decision as to what to do and I will provide support if all is true and this goes to term...

So... I buy a ticket for Thailand arriving in about 2 weeks and will get a pregnancy test at the hospital and find out the approximate time of conception. 

However should we sit down and talk and decide some things, I need to have all my ducks in a row... 

Please guys, some questions:

1) Assuming I am in the window of fatherhood as per her pregnancy test at a hospital, can I get a fetal DNA test right then and there? 

2) Is there a time period where fetal DNA tests cannot be done (like in the mid fourth to fifth month)?

3) I understand Pattaya International will do a middle term abortion. Am I correct in this? Is there any other hospital that may provide the same type of service in or near Pattaya or Bangkok? 

4) I understand Khlong Tan hospital may do these types of abortions also. Where are they? Am I better off in Bangkok to start all of this off???

I can take some comments on the chin but any suggestions above and beyond what I have already mentioned would be very welcome and very helpful.

Thanks in advance as I am going through the whole range of feelings at the moment and really need this information.

Joe

----------


## MeMock

> Please do not remind me of how stupid I am,


Ok I wont.

----------


## William

abortion is illegal in Thailand

you may find somehwere that does it, but (a) it won't be legit, per se (there are exemptions, but not for your case); and (b) as a Buddhist, it is unlikely the mother would consent.  Normally she would rather give the kid away than abort.  Have you thought about adoption?

----------


## In Trouble

I've thought about everything William but adoption does not come to the forefront.  She seems very scared right now and I am too.  I think we either go for the abortion or we figure this out and raise the child somehow.  I am not going to marry her and she will have to raise the child there, at least for the first few years, then we can think about options of maybe bringing the child to my home country.  Adoption does not seem like something that is going to be an alternative for me or her.  I have gone far down the line with this in my thinking and besides beating myself up about it I have played out many scenarios in my mind and the most likely are abortion or raising the child and dealing with the situation.  

I understand the illegality of an abortion but these things do go on for many reasons and further down the road than ours is time wise.  She seems to have had the "Thai girl wide eyed in headlights" when it came to take action or make a decision and it all blew up on her (and me) when it was further down the road.  From my take on it she needs me to be there and that I will be in about two weeks.  Then we can sit down and talk this out face to face.  I can also answer the question of pregnancy and time frame at that point.  

Thanks for your understanding William.

----------


## Rigger

> abortion is illegal in Thailand


But you can get it done at most corner shops but at 5 months she is a long way gone . Dont beleive a word until you get a dna test get a private eye as she probably has a few guys being strung along getting milked. Have you sent her money ????

----------


## In Trouble

Have you sent her money ????

She has not asked for any, which is what scares me the most...

----------


## slimboyfat

just send her 5000 baht and the bus fare to bangkok. her friends should know where to go. if not then see the below thread.

https://teakdoor.com/health-fitness-a...-thailand.html

i knew that thread would help someone out sooner or later.

----------


## In Trouble

Thank you slimboy, I have read your thread and any other info I can on the various boards. I cannot just throw her 5k baht and expect this to take care of itself as her quiet demeanor has caused this to go so far (so I am assuming). This is real or I am a bad judge of character because she is not the kind of girl to do something like scam me (fully understanding that she is however a bargirl). The fact that she has not asked for anything in the way of money and the fact that she seemed very relieved that I am coming add to the realness of this. I have got to be there and see this for myself. If she wanted money for the procedure she would have asked for it. I need to know what the fcuk is going on before anything takes place and the best way is for me to be there. Not a big deal with the ticket as I have some miles stashed away so this trip is not a big drain on my finances. I do however need to spring into action as she has stated that she "cannot go home with this news" when I asked her to make sure she is around and not back home when I arrive...  Slimboy how did your event turn out?  How far along was she?

Thanks again.

----------


## shehiredahitman

I've just got home after too many pints & an 8 ball of crack so this isn't the opinion to go on & I'll read your post in more detail tomorrow but trust me man - she's lying.

If a fucko can see this so can you. I CA,E ONTO cme came onto this forum with allsorts of wacky ideas & these huys will put tou straight. They're sound. 

I'm just hoping my connectuon's okay again but you'll see my pint & I'kl fill you in tommorrow.

----------


## shehiredahitman

Sorry, In T, I'm begin - forget it. Night

----------


## slimboyfat

the girl in question in my thread spent a few weeks telling me that she wanted to keep the baby as she loved me so much and it didnt matter if i stayed with her or took care of her or not. Then after a few weeks where i made it clear that i would not be taking care of her - then she changed her tune - and gladly accepted the 5000 baht plus bus fare.

have i been conned? possibly, but if so its only a matter of peanuts compared to the other consequences.

and as you say, time is not on your side.

----------


## slimboyfat

> I've just got home after too many pints & an 8 ball of crack so this isn't the opinion to go on & I'll read your post in more detail tomorrow but trust me man - she's lying.
> 
> If a fucko can see this so can you. I CA,E ONTO cme came onto this forum with allsorts of wacky ideas & these huys will put tou straight. They're sound. 
> 
> I'm just hoping my connectuon's okay again but you'll see my pint & I'kl fill you in tommorrow.


CMN - this is why you stopped drinking  :Smile:

----------


## Spin

> She did so only when I was not very attentive to her emails


And there lies the answer.

The chances of the girl being pregnant and you been the father are pretty remote. This scenario is neither unique or new and is not one that you should worry too much over. I think your being lied to.

----------


## RandomChances

You seem to want to to the "right" thing which is admarable. Until you know for sure that she is pregnant and the baby is yours there's not much you can do. If an aborsion is avalible even though at 5 months is a bit late, I think I would go for it. 

Even if you keep sending money to look after it, the child will probaly end up back home with a grandparent or relitive while the mother goes back to work and thers no way of knowing wether the money you actually send will go for care of the child. Any future prospects the mother may have of finding a husband will be severaly hinderd by her already having a half falang child. How old is she ? has she been previously married, aleady got kids ect

----------


## Thetyim

I will probably get slated for this but I don't care.

She is a bargirl.  You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her.
Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.

----------


## Rigger

> I will probably get slated for this but I don't care. She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her. Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.


I agree 
she was paid to give you a service not to have a baby. Stuff her 
Never contact her again would be your best option

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her. Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.


Totally. Bung her some cash if you feel really guilty, otherwise tell her to fuck off. Asian girls love this Western ideal of doing the 'right thing' and they will bleed you dry on it. Don't do the 'right thing', it's really not worth it.

----------


## watterinja

If you are abroad - don't bother - you've been set up.

----------


## stroller

Chances are it's a hoax, I agree.

If you're really, really concerned, take the route of confirming the pregnacy and going for the DNA test and see it as an investment for your future peace of mind and a learning experience.
Make sure you protect yourself, the simple fact of your continued concern could be turned against you later, if there is a child, even if you're not the father.

----------


## blackgang

> Originally Posted by Thetyim
> 
> She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her. Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.
> 
> 
> Totally. Bung her some cash if you feel really guilty, otherwise tell her to fuck off. Asian girls love this Western ideal of doing the 'right thing' and they will bleed you dry on it. Don't do the 'right thing', it's really not worth it.


If you went to a whore house in any other country in the world and later heard that the whore that you fucked had came up knocked up would you go to the extremes of finding out if you were the guy that did the deed??

I don't think so, as has been already stated more than once, she was hired for a service, she did it, and you paid.  End of story..

Damn, why do they let these guys that should have stayed at home go to exotic places and fuck it up for the next generation??

----------


## man with no head

Paid for sex? Not your worry. That's the risk that comes with the job. If she said she got AIDS from you would you start sending $$$$ to cover the treatment?

Oldest trick in the book.

A girlfriend? Different story all together.

----------


## lom

You had unprotected sex with her so you are also responsible for her pregnancy. You are doing the right thing by coming over here and sorting it out.

----------


## MeMock

I am pissing myself laughing reading this......Hey i have an idea...why not never sleep with a prostitute.....nah to hard it seems....

----------


## hillbilly

In Trouble,

This thread will run for awhile, maybe...

However, hillbilly thinks something is not quite right.

For example the Klong Tan 'abortion clinic' has now been a condo for several years...

----------


## dirtydog

> Hey i have an idea...why not never sleep with a prostitute


Do you suffer from a low sex drive? Have trouble getting it up? then why not try Viagra  :Smile:  shouldn't allow christians to post in these sort of threads  :Smile:  if we were all like you memock these poor girls would be starving, luckily some of us have a bit of humanity left in them and frequent these sort of places to help the poor and needy, time to ressurect the short time bar thread  :Smile:

----------


## daveboy

> time to ressurect the short time bar thread


Yippi

----------


## stroller

I bet in your infinite concern and benevolence, you bonk the girls where they can't get pregnat - always the gentleman and considerate chap... :Razz:

----------


## lom

> However, hillbilly thinks something is not quite right


Yes, don't you just hate these surveys carried out across multiple webboards.

----------


## mad_dog

Get an AIDS test and a new email account and phone number.

----------


## friscofrankie

> Get an AIDS test and a new email account and phone number.


Best advice so far...

----------


## RandomChances

In fairness to the guy he seems more concerened about the child, regaurdless of the circumstances of the conception it may still be his child. I have'nt got any kids so I don't know how these things work but mabye he feels some parental responsability to the child. 

Personaly I'd probaly do the number/e-mail change and live with it but I'm a heartless bastard like you lot

----------


## a. boozer

> I will probably get slated for this but I don't care.
> 
> She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her.
> Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.


Totally agree ! You entered into a business arrangement, and that should be the end of your involvement. Suggest you just let the matter drop.

----------


## shehiredahitman

Some people will recognise this. 

*Start collecting email addresses from all of your customers*, once you have a good collection of addresses, a visit to your local Internet cafe is in order. Send everyone an email. Simply change the name on each email and send it off to all the guys. If you can remember something specific about them, mention that in the email too.
These walking ATMs all have a soft heart, so you need to tell them a story to get them to send you some of their riches. Start with a sick buffalo and if he doesn't reply, next tell him that your mother is ill. As a last resort, if he still doesn't send any money, tell him you are pregnant and the baby is his!

----------


## a. boozer

> Get an AIDS test and a new email account and phone number.


Now, that is sensible and realistic advice !  Would also suggest, for the sake of your own health, investing in and using some condoms. If you went home with any form of STD, do you think that you would get any sympathy from your bar girl here?

----------


## watterinja

The op has done a good deed for increasing Thailand's national IQ.  :star:

----------


## dirtydog

> I have'nt got any kids so I don't know how these things work


It's the same as cows and bulls RC, the bull gets on top and does his stuff, months later out pops a baby, obviously most females wont let you put your arm up their bum though  :Smile:  so you may be a tad disappointed  :Smile:

----------


## Fabian

This is just one of many reasons why it is not such a good idea to fuck a prostitute without a condom.

----------


## slimboyfat

actually guys, the relationship may have gone beyond just a business transaction - well in this chaps mind anyway.

hey it happens

so how about giving him a bit of a break and just advice rather than abuse.

----------


## In Trouble

Thanks for all your replies. This is a tough one, granted. I was really under the impression that she was full of it when she did not write me back after I told her not to play games. But then when they told my friends and my friends said she did look a bit pregnant I got worried. Then a manager (mamasaan) that we have known for quite a while said that she is indeed pregnant BUT there may be one other with his hat in the ring. 

The mamasaan herself is pregnant at 8 months and does know who the father is but his name is John Doe with a phone number of 555-1212. Never to be seen again. She wanted hers though because she is 38 and her son is 18 so she is "starting over". Take the starting over comment as you wish. There is just such a circle of folks who know about this and that is the tough part. I want to call bullshit also but my friends are all in the mix and now it is tough to just say "fuck her". When I go there I have to give her an ultimatum to get this taken care of (once things are deduced to putting me in the window) and tell her "take this", "now I gotta turn my back". Though in reality I am not going to do that I have to get her to see this as the major fuck up, for both of us, that it is and hope she ends the pregnancy (once again if she is indeed pregnant and I am indeed in the window). If not I have to decide how to deal with this as it is a very tough one to accept.

----------


## watterinja

A whore is a whore - don't get any further involved. The nipper is probably one of a 100 different gents who have paid for her services. Get on with your life & do as maddie says.

----------


## dirtydog

When i first came to thailand they didn't have farang sized condoms, if your into S+M then you should a try thai condom on for size, this is quite a unique experiance that you wouldn't want to try too often, anyway, all I can say is thank fok I aint got Aids, I really don't remember the amount of bargals I went with without a condom but now luckily you can buy proper sized condoms every where and I wouldn't dream of doing a girl of the night without one, I remember all the Gonerea experiances though  :Sad:

----------


## shehiredahitman

From your story, In Trouble, this sounds like exactly the same girl (I'm not suggesting it is though) who I fell for while in Pattaya. When she realised the 'I'm having your baby' technique was coming out of my other ear she tried to have me killed for my cash - which I didn't even have - instead. You got to watch these bitches. 

I think what you're really worried about is not looking like a **** in front of your mates. 

What you got to consider is this :

Around seven out of ten girls in Pattaya have a Thai boyfriend at home, or in Pattaya with them. If she's a looker - she is one of the seven, I promise you. She won't wear a rubber with her boyfriend. She fucks as many men per day as possile & if she wasn't insistent on you wearing a rubber that's likely her MO. If you disappear for long enough for her to fit in a short-time with someone she will do it, so being 'in the window' doesn't cut it. Looking at these facts the chances of it being your baby are about 100-1, at best.

Having listened to bar-girls banter, this is just another of the things they do & say in their attempts to lighten your wallet. Being a skilled bullshitter is the primary function of these chicks. 

I find it strange the mamasan is interfering with her scheme. I took a short-timer back to my hotel once & she noticed a photo of my girl & said something to the effect that she'd known her for about a year from the bar I'd just picked up from - contradicting the story my girl had told me about living in Pattaya for about four months. I popped back to the bar & offered the mamasan a fortune to confirm some things but she wouldn't tell me shit - although her face said it all. We are all only temporary over there - especially in Pattaya - & the girls know it. They don't drop each-other in it & affect long-term aquaintances for our benefit.

If I were you I'd tell her you've had an AIDS test & it's come back +

Give her a taste of being on the recieving end of a crock of shit.

----------


## In Trouble

Thanks again all for the replies,

I get an email from her yesterday, out of the blue, she responds to a previous email which I sent her when all of this first came to light awhile back. My email said something to the effect of "ok, I get there soon, we go straight to hospital and get test to find out conception". She writes back to this email yesterday "Joe, b4 I told you and you not believe, now why you want to test?". I had written her and she had responded normally twice between these two emails and then this. 

I go to my friend (one of the friends who told me of this while in Thailand) with the new email response and tell him I am about to call bullshit. He of course pressures me to go ahead with the trip and find out. 

So yes, Shehired, my friends are instrumental in this and there is pressure to go ahead with this trip. 

This one friend above is the one whom when I say "but why did she not tell me when I was there/Why did she stop the pregancy stuff when I was attentive" will say "well maybe she was scared/maybe she was this...".

She still has not asked for a dime. (???)

Having a friend involved in this is real tough.

----------


## kingwilly

> I will probably get slated for this but I don't care.
> 
> She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her.
> Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.


mate i agree with you here.

bargirls might hav feeligns yes, but they also play fuckin mind games and gettign pregnant is right up there with hitting the mother load!

----------


## kingwilly

> She still has not asked for a dime. (???)


DONT BE FOOLED - ALL THAT MEANS IS SHE IS LOOKING AT THE LONG TERM !

----------


## lom

> DONT BE FOOLED - ALL THAT MEANS IS SHE IS LOOKING AT THE LONG TERM !


Words from an expert  :Wink:

----------


## kingwilly

> Originally Posted by kingwillyhggtb
> 
> DONT BE FOOLED - ALL THAT MEANS IS SHE IS LOOKING AT THE LONG TERM !
> 
> 
> Words from an expert


Ouch ! that is _sooo_ harsh! (and incidently quite wrong!)

----------


## Thetyim

> ALL THAT MEANS IS SHE IS LOOKING AT THE LONG TERM


Correct.

And she might have several Dads lined up at the moment.

----------


## stroller

> And she might have several Dads lined up at the moment.


Well, _someone_ has to be the father, if she is indeed pregnant. :Smile:

----------


## shehiredahitman

> She still has not asked for a dime. (???)


She will. 

And you'll feel no different when she does.

You have been skillfully bullshitted & manouvered into that psycological place where a lot of farangs have been before now, are at the moment & will be in the future - the legend of the gullible farang is an old Pattaya tale now & has been passed down from bar-girl to bar-girl for couple of generations. 

Here we are 50 years later & it still works a treat. I don't begrudge them it myself. A girls's gotta eat & us idiots will be okay - if a little emotionally bruised.

----------


## Bung

Don't forget, A lot of Thai girls just want to have a half farang child to show off with and as an investment (money from multiple bare back riders). She may well be happy that she is pregnant and doesn't care who the father is. Why did she go bare back? Hookers are better than that.

I wouldn't worry about her, she will be fine and there may just be another "Look Krung" running around in the Issan dust soon with mum looking after it.

Please don't tell us you love her. Come back, there are some really great girls here to get to know and have a normal life with.

----------


## In Trouble

No I do not love her.  

I'm just wondering how to tell my friend "I am walking away from this" but the ticket is bought and I kind of need to see for myself.  I kind of know this is bullshit but again I have to follow through with this and hope it is bullshit and go on about my vacation.  

If not I will have to go on with my decisions.  Who knows what those will be.  Even I don't at this point.

----------


## stroller

> You have been skillfully bullshitted & manouvered into that psycological place where a lot of farangs have been before now, are at the moment & will be in the future - the legend of the gullible farang is an old Pattaya tale now & has been passed down from bar-girl to bar-girl for couple of generations.
> 
> Here we are 50 years later & it still works a treat. I don't begrudge them it myself. A girls's gotta eat & us idiots will be okay - if a little emotionally bruised.


On the other hand, 50 years later, farang men are still choosing to  go to Pattaya for cheap sex, with the knowledge that there is little if any chance of them ever being held responsible for their actions, though this is changing in case of pedophilia. Men walking away from women they made pregnant is 'normal' in Thailand, and there is little a girl who doesn't have the educational or financial resources can do about it, except, perhaps, emotional blackmail.

These guys won't be taken to court for alimony in their homecountries, nor will they have to finance the child through any taxes to sponsor social programs, nor will they be bothered by any of the other costs of prostitution, such as the health care costs of any physically or mentally ill Thai hookers, the consequences of drug abuse or the mafia style network and social derangement that happens in Pattaya.

They can simply board the next airplane back home.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> I'm just wondering how to tell my friend "I am walking away from this" but the ticket is bought and I kind of need to see for myself. I kind of know this is bullshit but again I have to follow through with this and hope it is bullshit and go on about my vacation.


Some people really are dumb...

----------


## blackgang

I dunno, 50 years ago Pattaya was not what it is today and there were not an over abundance of bars or whores then, I was mostly pretty well boozed up then but as I remember it, there was only 1 hotel and 3 bars if memory serves me.
Could have been more but maybe I just limited my memory to a few and maybe I never went into the others..
But it was a hell of a lot prettier place then too, I went down there to visit a friend that lives there last year, and it was my first return in more than about 40 years.

----------


## britmaveric

> abortion is illegal in Thailand
> 
> you may find somehwere that does it, but (a) it won't be legit, per se (there are exemptions, but not for your case); and (b) as a Buddhist, it is unlikely the mother would consent.  Normally she would rather give the kid away than abort.  Have you thought about adoption?


I know some very well known hospitals that perform said procedures.  :dev+ang:

----------


## dirtydog

well post erm here then brit, yes we know you are tv scum but we have sort of come to accept you a little bit  :Smile:  and dont worry we dont ban people for posting information  :Smile:

----------


## Fingers_in_pies

one word sums up how i would feel in your shoes "gutted"

----------


## sabang

There's little chance the baby is yours. Why do you think she is reluctant to have the DNA test?
It's likely she wanted a baby anyway. The pill, or morning after pill, is widely available here and widely used. Any money she can make off it is icing on the cake.
I'd pay her 5000 Bht, to assuage your conscience. Half a dozen others will probably do the same.

----------


## shehiredahitman

> On the other hand, 50 years later, farang men are still choosing to go to Pattaya for cheap sex, with the knowledge that there is little if any chance of them ever being held responsible for their actions, though this is changing in case of pedophilia. Men walking away from women they made pregnant is 'normal' in Thailand, and there is little a girl who doesn't have the educational or financial resources can do about it, except, perhaps, emotional blackmail.
> 
> These guys won't be taken to court for alimony in their homecountries, nor will they have to finance the child through any taxes to sponsor social programs, nor will they be bothered by any of the other costs of prostitution, such as the health care costs of any physically or mentally ill Thai hookers, the consequences of drug abuse or the mafia style network and social derangement that happens in Pattaya.
> 
> They can simply board the next airplane back home.


Supply & demand. The proportion of 'victims' on each side - financialy, emotionally & in some cases fatally - is pretty balanced out.

Some of these girls do very nicely out of - & I dare say actually enjoy - this game despite the 'occupational hazards' they have to deal with. Many of the farangs are also physically or mentally ill & victims themselves of social derangement, demonstrated by their very presence in Pattaya. 

Women getting pregnent while short-timing their hearts out can hardly hold up a candle to social responsibility. I've also never known a case of a man being hounded by the CSA (or similar) for a child he fathered with a prostitute, wherever he might be from.

----------


## flash

> assuage


Had to look that word up
I will never have a wank again from now on its light hand assuagement

----------


## In Trouble

Yes I am gutted.

My friend has become a little more understanding and has been giving up a little more information.  He has an ear to the ground with the aformentioned manager and this is very real and very likely mine for certain reasons.  I am going there where 75% of folks in this instance probably would not and I am probably being taken to some extent no matter how this turns out.  I need to ask her some questions and get some answers and then try to get the test/timeframe/abortion.  If not, well I will have to see her through to some extent.  I know that sounds like bullshit but I kind of feel like it is the right thing to do.  I kept telling my friend no matter how this is handled there is no great outcome to this, none at all...

He is finally starting to see where this actually is for me.

----------


## Thetyim

Bollocks to your friend, what's it got to do with him. 

Do what you feel is right, don't live your life according to his rules

----------


## stroller

> Women getting pregnent while short-timing their hearts out can hardly hold up a candle to social responsibility. I've also never known a case of a man being hounded by the CSA (or similar) for a child he fathered with a prostitute, wherever he might be from.


It takes 2 to tango, and the moral responsibility for a baby is always a shared one. I don't think the law distinguishes here for prostitution either, not sure, this is an interesting question.

----------


## Goddess of Whatever

> test/timeframe/abortion


C'mon, abortion is too late now.  She would die if she did it at 5 months pregnant.

----------


## stroller

^
Nah, it's just a different operation.

But the other thing to consider, is that with every day the being in the womb develops further in consciousness and biological state into a human being.
I am not to judge whether there is a time period where it could be considered murder, opinions vary a great deal on this, just raising the issue.
There's a time-limit of 3 months in many countries where abortion is legal.

----------


## mad_dog

Have you tried Thai Visa? Many members are "proud" of their whore wife.

----------


## shehiredahitman

For that it's worth, whether you take care of the baby or not (& you sound a decent sort who would if it was yours) you should see this through to the birth. Even if it goes to an orphanage.

A life is a life. It's pretty precious to the person who owns it.

You may not want it, she may not want it, but the thing will be grateful it got it.

----------


## In Trouble

Wheels up, keep you posted.

----------


## In Trouble

Im here, she is at the hotel sleeping. She is pregnant, very pregnant. She did not have a lot of answers for me. I asked her a lot of questions and she seemed to be very confused and very "well, it is what it is". She said it was "her fault" but I told her no, it is 50-50. 

We sat at the hospital for nothing today, took em 2 hours to tell me the sonogram could not be done until tomorrow. This is really hitting me hard and I am trying to do the right thing. The girl who brought her to the hotel is the girl who told my friends the news. She saw me as pregnant was getting off of the bike and said "hi papa, hahahahah!". I shot her a look and she shut up real quick. I wanted to avoid something like that but yeah I finally got laughed at by someone not on this board. That pissed me off a bit.

Looking at her at 5 months, abortion is becoming very far fetched. I spoke to her when I arrived at the hotel and as we were walking out of the door to go to the hospital, I stopped her and lifted her shirt and put my hand on her stomach. That is pretty much when it hit me and the option of abortion went out of the window. 

I am starting to resolve myself to certain things but I can't let myself get too far away with this. I did remind her she had every chance to prevent and end this but what the hell did I expect her to say to that? I had the option to prevent this also. The whole not telling me thing when I was here a few months ago is really what is fucking with me. I think she is expecting the storybook ending. Now I have to figure out (after sonogram) how the hell I am going to deal with this. 

Shit Fuck Goddammit.

----------


## lom

^My hat off for you In Trouble !

----------


## andyirish57

> 1) Assuming I am in the window of fatherhood as per her pregnancy test at a hospital, can I get a fetal DNA test right then and there?


Forget the Pregnancy test you need a DND test that is only sure way.
Many girls do this to falang boy friends, and the falang ends up supporting a child that is not his and more than likely to be the ofspring of her Thai husband/boy friend.

----------


## andyirish57

> This is just one of many reasons why it is not such a good idea to fuck a prostitute without a condom.


you are so right but I would say most of this has.

----------


## kingwilly

> Looking at her at 5 months, abortion is becoming very far fetched.


far-fethced?? it would be fuckn criminal - dont even thiunk about that as an option any more matey.




> I am starting to resolve myself to certain things but I can't let myself get too far away with this.


no kidding, you've been told mate, DNA test, first. before you make any fuckn stoopid promises! 




> I did remind her she had every chance to prevent and end this but what the hell did I expect her to say to that? I had the option to prevent this also. The whole not telling me thing when I was here a few months ago is really what is fucking with me. I think she is expecting the storybook ending. Now I have to figure out (after sonogram) how the hell I am going to deal with this. 
> 
> Shit Fuck Goddammit.


umm der, of course she avoided doing anything smart, head in the sand, she wants you to fix it! 

consider adopting it out. however, if it is yours and you do want to live with this girl forever.... then go for it.

but if u think that after 4-5 years of living with this mum that you cannot stand her anymore then its gonna be even harder to leave....

and dont think you'll get any rights as the father in thialand. nope nothing.

----------


## Skulldigger

Unless your just trolling, it sounds like you're doing what's right in a shitty situation. You could get away with just taking off, but if you have a conscience it won't be a good option. Get the DNA test, and then decide.

If it is your child, well. Then you have to decide what that means to you.

----------


## In Trouble

Hi Everyone,

Ok, BOMBSHELL IN

5.....




4.....




3.....




2.....




1.....


We just went to the doctor.  She called me in with her.  Doc showed me the child.  Showed me the penis which she did tell me it was a boy.  Then doc showed me a couple of other things.  He measured the head and said 26 weeks.  I looked at the doc puzzled and he understood.  He measured the head again and it was something like 6.66.  Then he showed me the foot or leg at my funny looks and said 4.65 or something and said yes 26 weeks (I may be mixing head and foot up).  He gave us a print out which I promptly took control of.  I called my boy because I came out to Thailand with a certain week in my mind and had to have my boy count this out.  He fumbled around so I hit an internet cafe and pulled up yahoo calendar and counted out.  With giving her the benefit of the doubt from the Thursday we first slept together (September 21st) until this Thursday the 15th, I count out 21 weeks.  

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.  When I bought this to her attention she would not even look at me.  

I took her to the black colored pub on Pattaya Central Road just south of 2nd Road.  It has aircon (I am sweating bullets at this point) and sat her down.  I had a pint of Guiness draft, best fucking beer of my life.  I told her "this aint mine" and that she needed to backtrack and figure out who.  She still does not look at me.  After speaking to my friend on the phone and both of us going "WOW" repeatedly, she slithers off of the seat and makes her way back out into the world sans me.  

I feel bad for her but she knew this and tried to hook me for it.  That hurts.  

Too many people on my so called poll said this was what it was, a sham.  Though she is pregnant she knew it was not me and tried to pin this to the kid.  Damn.  Well instead of a son, I get a vacation out of it.  Not a bad trade off for someone absolutely scared shitless of a child.  

Going to the pharmacy for a SHITLOAD of condoms...

Thanks again folks, I will keep you posted of any "further" developments though I am sure the book is closed on this one.  

WOW

----------


## Thetyim

Best of luck mate
Glad you found out in time and it only cost you a holiday and not a lifetime of regrets.

----------


## Fabian

That'S another classic story.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Whiteshiva

> Going to the pharmacy for a SHITLOAD of condoms...


Looks like you learned something afterall..... :Cool:

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> I had a pint of Guiness draft





> I count out 21 weeks.


The only two sensible things you've done in this whole tale!  :Smile:

----------


## Camel Toe

(Fetal development)The exact thing happen to me.  The baby was born 8 months after the day we met.  She never pushed my being the father on me, she only hinted.  I waited it out and glad I did.  Turned out to be a Netherlander.  Last I heard he was sending her money.  I have a friend who had a semi-whore girlfriend who announced she was two months pregnant and that two months was the _to the day_ time they'd spent together.  The baby was dark, very dark, and at one year of age still looked nothing like him.  This is genetics, it can happen this way.  He didn't care, and we, his friends, weren't about to bring it up.  He wanted a baby.  When they started arguing and fighting for a month straight he left her and went home with the child.  Sometimes it happens this way too.

----------


## kingwilly

> I feel bad for her but she knew this and tried to hook me for it. That hurts. 
> 
> Too many people on my so called poll said this was what it was, a sham. Though she is pregnant she knew it was not me and tried to pin this to the kid. Damn.


 
Thank Fuck for that! 

Tho a number of us did TELL U SO! 

but well pleased you found out and well pleased that their is no problem for ya mate! 

well pleased.

silly fuckn bitch! cant trust them!

----------


## RandomChances

Gald it all turned out right, at least you attemptd to do the "right thing"

----------


## andyirish57

:dev+ang: 


> Thank Fuck for that! Tho a number of us did TELL U SO! but well pleased you found out and well pleased that their is no problem for ya mate! well pleased. silly fuckn bitch! cant trust them!


WELL SAID .They think we are stupid,(not all of us are).
But we do let our cocks rule our brain. My dad said to me once    you can't fill 2 heads with blood at the same time. :guitar:

----------


## stfranalum

v youre right fabian! a posting faux pas!

edited post....


so OP-- that 5 week layover was enough evidence? i didnt know how accurately the docs can say when a kid was concieved. isnt 5 weeks close enough to think it was a miscalculation on the docs part? dunno- i never had a kid.

but yeah you did the best thing in that case, and my hat off to ya man. 

steppin up like a man should.

but you also cant fault her for at least making you a culprit. you slept in the same time frame- and she had contact info on you. i dont blame her- but if she were to persist- that would be forked up big time.

lesson learned: WRAP THAT THING UP MAN! what in the fork are you sleeping with a hooker without a rubber for? dammit man, its dangerous with a rubber as it is!

----------


## Fabian

stfranalum, it seems you have nto read the whole thread.

----------


## LesBonsTemps

I just caught this thread today, and I really have to say I'm "concerned" at some speculation on women and their reproductive systems.

So...

A sonogram won't tell you anything about parentage except the general number of weeks since conception, and it is accurate to within about 5 days.

A DNA test won't be done until the child is born and will be conducted via saliva or blood (blood is best).  Otherwise, they'd be sticking needles in places they shouldn't be sticking, at risk of miscarriage.

An abortion is safest at up to 12 weeks (suction method), but can be done by dilation and curetage up to 5 months.  In cases up to about 29 weeks, where the mother's health is endangered or the fetus is found to be no longer viable or malformed, an abortion consists of essentially killing the fetus with a saline solution and inducing what amounts to labor.  No woman willingly volunteers for that.

Once a woman feels the fetus move, the "quickening," you'll have a devil of a time talking her out of an abortion.

My husband's ex was a Thai bargirl over 35 years ago.  First she gave him a raging case of herpes (which we continue to deal with these many years later).  After having tried unsuccessfully to have a child, suddenly she was pregnant and wanting an abortion.  They had the baby, and 28 years later, soon after I got to know my stepson, I was the first person to ask if his son was "biologically his."  There's nothing of my husband in that young man (while he's an absolutely delightful fellow).  Of course, he suspects the child was not his, but he wanted a family.  So the subject was never discussed, he reared the boy as his son, and the emotional bond transcends the original situation.

So if you don't want to get into such a situation that will last a lifetime....WEAR A CONDOM.

----------


## kingwilly

> I just caught this thread today, and I really have to say I'm "concerned" at some speculation on women and their reproductive systems.
> 
> So...
> 
> A sonogram won't tell you anything about parentage except the general number of weeks since conception, and it is accurate to within about 5 days.


Seems you didnt read the whole thread either..... there is a 5 WEEK differential between when the baby was concieved and when the fella in question was even in the country...... let alone shagging this girl. I'd say thats a pretty good indication of parentage.

----------


## LesBonsTemps

> Originally Posted by LesBonsTemps
> 
> 
> I just caught this thread today, and I really have to say I'm "concerned" at some speculation on women and their reproductive systems.
> 
> So...
> 
> A sonogram won't tell you anything about parentage except the general number of weeks since conception, and it is accurate to within about 5 days.
> 
> ...


No, Kingwilly, I read and understood what he was saying -- it just sounded as if he was going to make decisions based solely on the results of the sonogram, and if dates were close, I'd sure recommend waiting for the DNA test.  And by the time the baby arrives, the emotional attachment can be there, DNA or not.

But 5 weeks.?! You're so right.  It sure determines who's NOT a parent.

----------


## In Trouble

Hi everyone,

I am in Singapore on the last leg of this convoluted itin during this convoluted episode.  I will reply to all and give a little more on the situation.  You helped me through so I will follow up with info so anyone else in this position will have some info on how to and NOT to do things.  Got a vacation out of it but this should not have been a sole reason for my travels as you guys were SO right.  More to come.

In Trouble

----------


## Spin

> The chances of the girl being pregnant and you been the father are pretty remote


hehehe

TOLD YOU SO!

You cant believe a fuckin word that comes out of a Thai's mouth.

It's absolute bullshit most of the time, even more so when directed at a farang

----------


## In Trouble

Hi Everyone,

Just to follow up:

We went to the same doctor as she was already going.  I felt that this was the best thing to do as he would have more info on where this girl's timeframe really was.  He adamantly said 26 weeks.  Took two measurements and measured the head twice.  Though he measured, it looked like the computer gave the measurment data in centimeters I guess and that machine listed her at 26 weeks.  I find no reason to follow up on this because I was about 8000 miles away when this occured.  

I spoke to the girl a couple of times while in Thailand via sms.  I prodded for more info under the premise of still maybe trying to help her.  She does not seem to know or care who the father is, leads me to believe that anyone with a close enough timeframe to August and gave contact info is getting an email similar to mine.  I venture to say I was the only one who went out there to find out what the situation really was.  Kinda glad I did, makes life a little easier back home.  She said that if I wanted to help can friends help friends?   I told her what I went through emotionally with this and I guess she has decided to let me move on with my emotional losses because she never responded to that email.

The mamasaan did say to my friend that she thought she was closer to 5 months at the time my friend was out there.  She was the most honest Thai girl involved in all this...  There was a third Thai girl involved in this also.  One who's 5 y.o. son knows me and I have held on numerous occasions and who I have known for about 4 years.  The fact that she helped perpetuate this, even though she may have believed the girl and not known the timeframe, diasappoints me.  She is the one who first told my friends about this and drove the girl to the hotel when I first arrived, the one who laughed at me.  I considered her almost family...

So many lessons...

----------


## sabang

> There's little chance the baby is yours. Why do you think she is reluctant to have the DNA test?
> It's likely she wanted a baby anyway. The pill, or morning after pill, is widely available here and widely used. Any money she can make off it is icing on the cake.
> I'd pay her 5000 Bht, to assuage your conscience. Half a dozen others will probably do the same.


Would 'ave been cheaper to pay her the 5000 Bht then! :Smile:  
I hope you got some other mongering action whilst you were over here anyway.
This same story is being played out over and over in Los, Fil's, Cuba, Brazil, you name it. It's been tried on me twice, both times by Filipina's. At least once I had an honest Brazilian GF (part time whore) for a while, who said she wanted my baby because I was white. Apart from the fun we had together, I might as well been an IVF test tube. For all I know, I may have a biological baby living somewhere in the Favela's of Rio.
The girl, bless her, wanted to have a baby. She didn't know herself who the father was, she just had a range of 'possibles'. As I said, what money she could extract from them out of their ridiculous Judeo-Christian guilt complex was just icing on the cake.
She is a professional sex worker. She is an adult. She has full access to contraceptives, and knowledge of them. It was her choice to get pregnant and keep the baby. The particular source of sperm for this miracle of germination is frankly irrelevant.
Anyway, live and learn. :Cool:  

sabang

----------

