#  >  > Non Asia Travel Forums >  >  > Travel the World Travellers Tales Forum >  >  Another Tenerife thread

## Dillinger

Frig it, I may as well run it alongside Burilam Boy's, bored of sunbathing now


Right, here's the 2 reasons I went, it was great not having a nagging Missus to drag along for once, had a great time with these two.


Meet the Dillingers...

Big Lou and H




Here's the first sight of the Volcano on a Monarch Airline flight, a flight that didn't check my overladen bags or hand out a 60 quid fine :Smile: 




Had a hire car pre-booked for when we landed, they don't even ask for a credit card, good job really as I forgot to refill it :Smile: 
We went round the whole island anti clockwise and right up to Mount Teide in it. Only cost 16 euros a day.
Was my first time ever of dring on the wrong side of the road and I didnt know where the fark the hotel was




We stayed at the H10 Palmeras, 100 euros a night for half board, it was alright, although full of geriatrics as you will see later on. :Smile: 

That's Louis on the bed, on our first day , moaning that he misses his Mom and there's nothing to do here...



His mind was soon to be put straight, that this holiday was gonna be the best of his life, a non stop adrenalin ride

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## BaitongBoy

Great kids, Dill...Keep it up...

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## baldrick

> a non stop adrenalin ride


says dad as he sups on a beer at the tavern  :Smile:

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## Dillinger

^ Gotta settle in on the first day Balders :Smile:

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## ltnt

> His mind was soon to be put straight, that this holiday was gonna be the best of his life, a non stop adrenalin ride


You say as the young fellow semi-flips you off with a two finger salute. :rofl:

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## Neo

My mate was in Tenerife for xmas... weed is now legal out there  :Fing02:

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## kingwilly

brilliant trip!

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## david44

A cool lad ,that beergut needs watching in one so young,put him on halves of shandy until sundown

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## Dillinger

So that was day 1 really, especially after taking me an hour to find the hotel in the jammer.

Day 2 -

We had a little look around the hotel the hotel's tennis courts and beach right behind it. Louis doesn't really go in for sports :Smile:  so no piccies of the tennis courts.




So then we jumped in the motor and decided to explore the island, ended up following signs to Mount Teide, but a third of the way up we happened on Jungle Park, which for me was up there in the top 3 places to go on the island. There were bird of prey and sea lion shows and a fun bobsleigh ride.

Jungle Park-













Ooh an assault course, winner gets an ice cream !!


He tried, bless him...







But was no match for H, she did win her sports day race this year though and loves her running, gymnastics and cheerleading :Confused: .





He was the better boxer of the two though  :Smile:

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## Dillinger

> My mate was in Tenerife for xmas... weed is now legal out there


I found some in my jeans pocket one morning over there, after one of the few nights i did get a little tipsy. I dont even smoke it :Smile: 




> A cool lad ,that beergut needs watching in one so young,put him on halves of shandy until sundown


Do you mind, I'm a responsible parent me










chip off the old block that one :Smile:

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## withnallstoke

> chip off the old block that one


Bollocks.

She drinks pints - unlike her old man.  :Smile:

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## Dillinger

It seems to be a theme on that island that everywhere you go someone wants  to photograph and then charge you  8 euros for the benefit(20 if its a fakkin dolphin). I even went for  dinner at the hotel one night and there were these 2 fit Spanish birds in traditional dress showing off there navels and slim bodies outside the restaurant.

I went down for breakfast and there were tables with photos on them, saw the pic of me looking like a right sex pest in the middle of 2  of them, i was literally dribbling. Told them it weren't me and scurried off.


Anyway here's a few I stealthily pillaged off of there photos with my mobile :Smile:

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## Dillinger

Right that's nearly day 2 over. Thought it was a good idea to drive to the top of mount Teide after Jungle Park, 50 kilometres of windy fukkin roads with a 10% gradient in a 1.4 friggin Polo.

Anyhow this was the view from the highest driving part. Couldnt be arsed to go up there again, so lookin forward to seeing Buriram Boys cable car views.






Right, thats me done for today uploading to here, gearing up for the Stoke Man U game now





> Bollocks.
> 
> She drinks pints - unlike her old man.


...Tune in tomorrow... Dillinger gets carried home blotto by the kids and falls asleep with a Raspberry Breezer



Or I may just do the zodiac boat ride :Smile:

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## patsycat

I don't think Lou likes the wildlife much.  That pic with seal is classic!!

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## Dillinger

^ He's 10, all us boys hated the smell of fish at that age :Smile: 

Funnily enough, H was petrified of the Cock-atoo :Smile:

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## toslti

No snow on Teide?... that's a disappointment, my friends there were posting photos last month.

Grab a taxi and head for Otelos chicken shack in Adeje!!!... great gai yang style chicken or The Pig Farm ( aka San Martin in Cabo Blanco).

If you really want a top Canarian meal head for Romero Brasas de Chirche tiny village way up in the mountains ( take warm clothes) but the food and hospitality is legendary amongst locals who know.

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## Dillinger

> No snow on Teide?


There was snow on there, thats not the highest point on them pics, just the highest you could drive up




> If you really want a top Canarian meal head for Romero Brasas de Chirche tiny village way up in the mountains ( take warm clothes) but the food and hospitality is legendary amongst locals who know.


Had my fill of birds

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## Fozzy

Stoopid fucking repo system means I have to clog your thread up with comments like this.

Great thread mate, really enjoying it. Lovely to see quality family time.

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## somtamslap

> I don't think Lou likes the wildlife much. That pic with seal is classic!!


From the outset it was apparent that young Louis's foray into the Canaries would earn the lad much acclaim. Copy of the Currant Bun, Terry's Chocolate Orange, wry grin as the plane taxis toward the runway and mai tais and scantily clad senoritas. Louis is a legend.

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## toslti

The islands are actually names after dogs... so be careful of any Korean restaurants!

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## Luigi

He's not shy around the pies.

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## charleyboy

Nice thread,Dillie.

Was expecting you this evening...Turkey crown and all the trimmings!  :smiley laughing:

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## terry57

I love the Pic of Big Lou lookin after his little sister.

Great stuff mate.

Cheers.

PS.  Can you post me some blow.   :Smile:

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## nigelandjan

> Turkey crown and all the trimmings!


You was best out of it mate 

For trimmings read ,, sprouts 

BTW I,ll show you one day when I see you ,, my youngest lad was a dead spit of yours

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## charleyboy

^ Pigs in duvets!

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## Dillinger

right, Day 3..

Walked down the beach to the tour operator and we decided we'd have a go  on a Zodiac Boat, which leave from Puerto Colon.

A sandcastle and surfers on the way.....








He's not a good passenger, Louis..



This is the fish farm that you could speed 2 kms out to sea to, apparently sometimes you can see dolphins and whales around there, but we didnt.




I dont have wifi where I am yet, so I cant unleash there Brummie Accents on you lot yet 

They gave that boat a good thraping  :Smile: 

I will get around to uploading the vids sometime, takes an age though.

So we had an hour on the boat then decided to doss on the beach at Puerto Colon.

Well I say we... :Smile: 




Me and Lou ducked in here for a beer and a chicken and chips



H went off to practice her gymnastics











Bless

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## terry57

Really nice family thread Dill.

Brilliant stuff.

Cheers

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## Dillinger

Day 5 -

Siam Park

Just like Thailand that place, was only in there 10 minutes and was ripped off twice  :Smile: 








I reckon there's a few of these workers with fukked up spines trying to launch louis on his way, you can see the moment when they pulled their backs out on the videos  :Smile: 









Most of the fun stuff is on video, in that park all that was played were Elvis christmas songs through their loudspeakers. I have one of me doing Blue Christmas while waiting for these 2 to come down the slide, if anyones interested :Smile: 


This is the Parks main attraction, The Tower of Power, which was fukkin shut, the Daygo cnuts, that was the second rip off by the way. I promised a mate I'd come down it, showed it him on Facebook and still had to explain to him I aint doing it without water...




 the first rip off was when Louis couldnt get into one of those siam park wet suits and they wouldnt refund my 5 euros, so i had a TheGent moment and chucked it in the pool, then went back and fished it out and handed it back, remembering they had my 20 euro deposit :Smile: 

Aqualand was far superior to Siam Park, if you ever want to choose between the 2.


Although the Lazy River was nice and relaxing. Guess I was lucky having 2 kids there who could keep them slves company because that water was fokking freezing cold, wonder if BB got in there :Smile: 

Quality Time  :Smile: 




See ya kids, Take your time  :Smile: 




This is some wimpy Chinese guy and if you zoom in you can see the slight graze he's getting the lifeguard to put a plaster on :Smile: 




I wonder if Withnall would do these 2 ??




Oi get back in there........




your brothers drowning

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## Dillinger

hmmm.... I seem to have lost day 4 somewhere...

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## nigelandjan

> the first rip off was when Louis couldnt get into one of those siam park wet suits and they wouldnt refund my 5 euros, so i had a TheGent moment and chucked it in the pool, then went back and fished it out and handed it back, remembering they had my 20 euro deposit



 :rofl:    chicken heads 

luvin it mate

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## Dillinger

aaaah, right day 4 was Siam Park, day 5 we watched dad get tipsy and  Man U slaughter Liverpool. Then there was an almighty brawl in the bar involving about 8 Pikeys. One got smashed in the head with a broken bottle. Luckily we'd left the bar by then but watched it all from the adjacent Souvenir shop.
They had about 7 little kids with them but didnt care, their women shielded the screaming kids. Then the police turned up and took a couple of them away.
Talking to the bartender  on the way back past, he reckons it happens in there at least once a year with the pikeys. We didnt go back.

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## terry57

> 


Hey Dill,

The main thing I can see wrong with that picture is that you have forgotten to put your socks on.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

You know the deal mate,  Englishmen must wear his socks with sandles .

Like fish and chips mate, there an item.  :Smile:

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## nigelandjan

Well spotted Terry ,, trouble is he,s been outta the UK system for too long now , he's forgotten   :Surprised: ur rules:  Ive send the appropriate red !

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## Dillinger

As someone told you yesterday Tezza, that's the Yermans :Smile: 

Here I will dig out the song on You Tube for you....

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## terry57

^  ^

Yes, I may Red dill for letting down the Queen and Country.

Poor Old Phillip would have a stroke if he noticed one of his subjects not wearing his socks.   :Smile: 

Dill can be quite a recalcitrant at times EH.  :UK: 

Big Lou looks much more reliable and H as well.   :spam2:

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## Dillinger

Before the footy we had been down to Los Cristianos Beach..





Left the kids to play in that freezin cold Atlantic




whilst I laid back and enjoyed the talent



thought I'd get a close up for Withers



She had better tits than her daughter though




oops nearly rumbled



She really didnt wanna watch the footy




One of those freaky human statues

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## Dillinger

Fed up after sitting in the boozer for a few hours....

Can I have a phone Dad... can I.... can I...can I ?




Well how could you say no to that ?

Got to wondering what phone a girl would like, then remembered Bettyboo's new purchase :Smile: 




Note to self: Never take those little fukkers shopping when pissed.

Look at that Indian bastard, loving it   :Sad:

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## beerlaodrinker

She had better tits than her daughter though


This threads got it all dill, 
Siam park rip offs
Birds that withnall would do
Sandals without socks
Brawling pikeys
Lager
There's even a promise of a videos of you singing blue elvis :Smile:  great stuff , loving it

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## terry57

^

Hey lao, check the last picture out.

There are two Soap dodgers in the one pic sporting the national uniform.   :smiley laughing:

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## beerlaodrinker

Faaark your right, didn't notice those 2 conts, my apologies, will edit it now

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## Dillinger

^^ Steigen Sie meinen Thread Sie kleinen Penis australischen Schafe Penetrator

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## beerlaodrinker

> ^^ Steigen Sie meinen Thread Sie kleinen Penis australischen Schafe Penetrator


Did you just call me an Aussie cont in German?  Anyway top thread crack on, can you stop sneaking those sock/sandal pics in though, Fooking retina can't take much of that sort of thing

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## Dillinger

nein, das vos fur Terrence :Smile:

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## beerlaodrinker

^Fair enough that :Smile:

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## terry57

> nein, das vos fur Terrence




Happy New Year to you to Dill.       :St George:

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## Dillinger

3 hours that has took me, right I'm off out for a monger, you coming Tel ?  :Smile:

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## terry57

^

Yes why not ,

Just hang on 5 minutes, I'm off to get Thegent. 

Head over to Gullivers EH.    :Smile:

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## Dillinger

Bit upmarket  for me that mate. 

I shall be in the beer garden within the hour :Smile:

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## terry57

The family threads are always good, Lao does them and AO did some nice ones before he semi flounced.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

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## patsycat

Your daughter has beautiful hair.

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## reddog

That's a good photo of your daughter steering the boat and boy wonder thinking about 
a quick chunder.

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## Dillinger

> Your daughter has beautiful hair.


Took me an hour to detangle it after Aqualand


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Day 6 - Lou wrecks Aqualand





Fearless these 2 !!





A long way up and those 2 Kamikaze slides on the left are apparently quicker than Siam Park's Tower of Power.

I sent the kids up to go down the red and white one. I felt pretty worried when they never came back down as I'd expected

Do you think they would have had the nuts? 

I've done some videos today :Smile: 




Can Louis give her that much of a head start ?




Hell Yeah !! :Smile: 






H had a moan  about the cold water.... so i tipped her in, as you do, she werent happy :Smile:

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## Dillinger

Right.... here come the vids from Aqualand,  :Smile:

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## Dillinger

She's  gonna be off work for a while :Smile:

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## Dillinger

H did this one twice, because I left the lens cap on the camera at the first attempt :Smile:

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## Dillinger

Lou-natic

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## Dillinger

No cause for alarm

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## Davis Knowlton

Post 37; Picture 1. Thought my first ex-wife, 'the white mistake', had a patent on that pose/expression.

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## Dillinger

^  :Smile: 

H's blonde moment

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## Dillinger

Another one who'll be handing in a sick note

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## katie23

Thanks for the pics.  You have lovely kids.  

Agree on your daughter's hair - it's beautiful.  I hope she doesn't straighten it when she grows up.  

Who did her hair (the braids) in the pic where she drank beer? If it was you, I'm impressed!  :Smile:   Cheers!

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## terry57

Big Lou,   He's a total winner Dill and H to.   :Smile: 

You are a lucky guy to have such great kids.

All the best to you EH.

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## beerlaodrinker

Eh dill. I reckon the big fella and H  are gonna sue your arse in about 20 years from now when there mates see the you tubes, Great stuff though , thanks for taking time from the mongering down the beer garden with Terry and the gent to post ,

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## Looper

Crackin thread Dill  :goldcup:

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## somtamslap

Young Louis bossed that aqua park and no mistake.

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## Iceman123

Great time had by the kids. Next time can you take me as well?

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## Dillinger

> Who did her hair (the braids) in the pic where she drank beer? If it was you, I'm impressed!


 :Smile:  No, wasn't me. There are quite a few Africans loitering around in Tenerife, selling all kinds. 




The African women do the braids, the males normally wander around calling people 'Del Boy' armed with dodgy watches and sunglasses. I think I ended up with 4 watches, 3 sunglasses and a dancing and singing cow :Smile: 





Here's some dolphins from Aqualand











 





Louis with sunburn
\

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## Dillinger

While H was getting her hair done....





some of the junk i bought whilst there...







Mountain view from hotel balcony


A taste of home



Manky piss? no thanks



A French Bulldog.  like a Pug on steroids

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## Dillinger

Leonardo's bar, family friendly with a Wii and pool 



Louis tanking H at pool





 She's not a bad loser

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## Dillinger

Day 8 - 3 hour Glass bottom boat ride.



The kids wanted to sit and stay down here....





No way Jose, we are sitting on top deck, smack opposite the free booze :Smile: 


Some daft woman, it might be her in the pink there above, poured her 2 kids a glass of sangria each, thinking it was fruit juice, you should have seen her little boy cringe :Smile: 









We saw pilot whales and bottle nosed dolphins. They are pretty boring to watch to be honest and they didnt come close enough to the boat to be able to see them through the glass bottom, unless I missed something, which stands a good chance the way I attacked that free booze :Smile: 

















The boat then anchors for half an hour so you can swim. You'd have to be nuts to go in that cold water though.

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## terry57

> Thanks for taking time from the mongering down the beer garden with Terry and the gent to post ,




Yes well,    Don't get me started on that little escapade. 

Thegent told us he would shout us to a free blowie down at Dr Blow Job's Gaffer. 

When it came to pay up he all of a sudden turned into Usain Bolt and Done a DJPat on us.  :Confused: 


Funny as fok though seeing a 70 year old  running at 200 KPH trailing crutches.  :Smile:

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## chassamui

555555 As descriptive as only you can be Terry.  :rofl:

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## terry57

^

Good one that EH Chas.  :Smile:

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## Dillinger

Well, thats about it really, the other 2 things we did on day 9 were Go Karting, near the airport, which was fun, but thoise photos are on H's phone. 

The other was drive around the island to Loro Parque and then the long scenic route back past los Gigantes.

I left the memory stick for my camera in my bloody laptop, so only have my mobile's snaps.














Another dolphin show, or may have been sea lions :Smile:  I was fed up of shows at this point, we didnt stay too long




Splash zone to watch the Orca show




No thanks kids, I'll sit up here :Smile: 









Well that's about it, on the last night we thought we'd give the hotel's 'Mini Disco' a shot

Here's Holly dolled up ready to find a boyfriend...




And the young spunks who were really gettin down and knew how to party.....

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## withnallstoke

^  :rofl: 

Class.

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## Dillinger

^him in the blue..... Has your Dad ever been to Germany ?  :Smile:

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