#  >  > Living And Legal Affairs In Thailand >  >  > Living In Thailand Forum >  >  > The Family Room >  >  Children Wai-ing

## superman

My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection. I know it's the Thai way, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I spoke to the wife and she said "just accept it". Unfortunately I can't. Anyone else feel the same ?  :Confused:

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## Norton

> My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection.


Both are preferable.  A wai followed by a hug is the norm here.  Cultural fusion.  Talk to the wife.  She should accept the practice from your own kid.  Very common with Thais so why should a farang be an exception.

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## dirtydog

Everything you ever need to know about the Thai Wai.
TeakDoor.com - The Thailand Forum Thailand_and_the_Wai

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## superman

We're all born equal in my eyes and I never like to think I'm better than anyone else. The wai shows your status in life. That I disagree with. Sorry off track there.
I'm not against my child showing respect to elders, it's just that I don't like it being done to me.

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## Rigger

My kids dont wai me normaly, and I would feel the same as superman if they did, bit like shaking your kids hand.

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## Marmite the Dog

Little 'un doesn't wai me because he knows it's for retards.

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## superman

> My kids dont wai me normaly, and I would feel the same as superman if they did, bit like shaking your kids hand.


Exactly 'Rigger'. It's our custom to shake hands but how many shake their childs hand when they collect them from school in their mother country ? I believe wai-ing to be forced on the child. There is a regional component to tradition and wai-ing others. Other than Isaan, it's hardly used at all in Thailand. So I understand.

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## kingwilly

Geeze, stop moaning, a wai followed by a hug sounded like a good compromise to me.

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## superman

> Geeze, stop moaning, a wai followed by a hug sounded like a good compromise to me.


It is but I'd rather just have the hug.

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## Bogon

I'm with superman here.
The wai seems a bit formal (especially from your own kid).
A big hug and sniff kiss beats a wai any day of the week.
Thai culture and all that jazz, but if your in a 50/50 realationship then your culture should be taken into consideration aswell and adapted into your "homelife".
Can understand in social situations when you have to tow the line Thai cultre wise, but at home I would try to instill / educate my child on the richness and traditions of my own culture.
My 2 bahts worth(less)..............

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## Nawty

Mine have never waid me....not once....they dun respect me.... :Crying: 

The adoptee still on parole wais me morning and night....I am getting ready to slap her. been meaning to tell her to stop it.

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## kingwilly

> A big hug and sniff kiss beats a wai any day of the week.
> Thai culture and all that jazz, but if your in a 50/50 realationship then your culture should be taken into consideration aswell and adapted into your "homelife".
> Can understand in social situations when you have to tow the line Thai cultre wise, but at home I would try to instill / educate my child on the richness and traditions of my own culture.


so when you say 50 50 you really mean 100% your way at home.

ok.

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## Stinky

> I know it's the Thai way, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I spoke to the wife and she said "just accept it".


Screw what the wife says superman, your kid should hug his dad, I've seen these emotionless brainwashed automatons wondering around the villages and it reminds me of what a frontal lobotomy dose to a person.

You go get you hugs mate dont make any apologies for it either

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## hillbilly

The only times my daughter (11) wais me, is when she wants something. The answer is usually no. As a side note my daughter says that is the only answer I know in my vocabulary.

Many of my daughter's friends are 50/50. Some are 100% farangs. They often wai me and I tell them (in front of their moms) that I am not Thai.

Kids are smart, they soon learn.

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## Patrick

A Wai shows respect - not love.

A hug shows love - not respect.

Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.

Patrick

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## good2bhappy

> A wai followed by a hug is the norm here


me too

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## Bogon

> so when you say 50 50 you really mean 100% your way at home.  ok.


No. Not really.
When I say 50/50. I actually mean around the 50% mark each way (give or take depending on the situation).
I could have also said  "half-half" or maybe "split down the middle" what about "evens"?
Hope that clears thing up. :Smile: 
Next time you wanna try and put words in my mouth could you back it up with a few quotes and facts?
Helpful for the readers and all that.
You seem like a nice bloke, but please try to refrain from trying to assume what I mean.

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## Cujo

> My child wai's me and I don't like it.


Then exercise your dad power and tell her not to.

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## superman

> Then exercise your dad power and tell her not to.


Not easy to do when the teacher tells her to do it when I collect her from school. If you respect someone you shouldn't have to be told to do it.

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## Frankenstein

I agree about the wai thing. 

Get a word with the teacher alone and tell her/him that you have no problem that your child wais in a Thai context, but want to greet and interact with your child according to your culture. Explain it is important that your child learns both systems. Doubt it will be a problem.

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## oky

> A Wai shows respect - not love.
> 
> A hug shows love - not respect.
> 
> Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.
> 
> Patrick


I'm with Patrick here....

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## superman

> Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.


But only one is genuine. The other is an act that is taught when greeting an adult, and means nothing, in my book.

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## nidhogg

> My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection. ?


Agree with you 100% on this one.  I hate it. Its normally times like when I give the boy (he is 8) some pocket money or something, then the missus will always say "wai your daddy".  Which he does.  And it completely sets my teeth on edge.  I always say, no need, misus always says he must.  Poor little bugger caught in the middle.

Much rather have a hug and a kiss on the cheek from him than a wai.....

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## Cujo

> Originally Posted by Patrick
> 
> Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.
> 
> 
> But only one is genuine. The other is an act that is taught when greeting an adult, and means nothing, in my book.


Exactly, Dad power trumps teacher power, tell her ( in the nicest way possible of course) not to Wai YOU. (others, OK, wai away)

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## Loy Toy

My children have never shown me this Thai form of respect and to be fair I have never thought about it until reading the OP.

I do like it when my children wai guests to our home and get a little upset when they forget.

Moreover my kids are Thai and as wai~ing is a big part of everyday life I am proud when they practice this tradition.

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## robuzo

I feel for you, s-man, that would be off-putting.  My son wais his mom when he is apologizing for something, although he has a way of exaggerating it to the point where it is pretty clear sometimes he is taking the piss, which is kind of funny to see in a 3-year-old.  Otherwise, its hugs for Daddy.  Go ahead get hugged.  The child needs to be able to function in both cultural environments.  

My son and I shake hands when he makes a promise, and by the way, I think all farang fathers of sons have a responsibility to teach their boys how to shake hands properly.  It is something Asians often get horribly wrong.

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## superman

> I do like it when my children wai guests to our home and get a little upset when they forget. Moreover my kids are Thai and as wai~ing is a big part of everyday life I am proud when they practice this tradition.


Don't get me wrong, like Loy Toy, I do try to get my child to wai elders and I'm not anti Thai.

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## Bogon

> I think all farang fathers of sons have a responsibility to teach their boys how to shake hands properly. It is something Asians often get horribly wrong.


What a great sentence.
You can almost gaurantee that if you have to shake a Thai dudes' hand, it's gonna f**k up somewhere along the lines.
I feel like that scene in Superman 2 where Superman regains his powers and squeezes General Zod's hand in the White House.

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## Begbie

Shaking hands seems to be an American thing, never saw it except in formal situations between strangers until I came to the far east.

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## Loy Toy

> Shaking hands seems to be an American thing


French men kiss (and Pommy footbal players).  :mid: 

My first wife was part French (her father was French) and he demanded that upon greeting male members of the family they had to kiss him. Fook that for a joke and thats probably why I am not married to my first wife anymore.

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## Rigger

> Shaking hands seems to be an American thing


Also a very Australian thing

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## Frankenstein

It's probably just the Scottish who don't shake hands.

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## Bung

My boy always gets told to Wai me after he gets home from school, especially if I pick him up from there but he hates it. It's a cultural thing for kids to wai their parents like that. He also has to wai me as I give him his pocket money.

I was at a funeral once and wai-ing along with everyone else as the monks left and I looked over quickly to my boy next to me, who was only about 3 at the time, and he was giving them the finger!

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## kingwilly

Get him/her one of those electric dog collar things, then every time he/she tries to wai you a press of a button and 50K volts will ensure that they learn soon enough not to wai you.

Problem sorted.

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## robuzo

> I was at a funeral once and wai-ing along with everyone else as the monks left and I looked over quickly to my boy next to me, who was only about 3 at the time, and he was giving them the finger!


Must be something about 3-year-olds.  When mine is pestered about wai-ing he will wai continuously, ever deeper until he somersaults.  Obviously taking the piss, although I am not sure if Mommy gets the joke.

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