#  >  > Travellers Tales in Thailand and Asia >  >  > Laos Forum >  >  The Dogcatcher does Laos

## the dogcatcher

DAY 1
6am start Samnakthong, Rayong.

6am and I'm looking in the mirror at my reflexion, neither of us look good. The Thai wedding the day / night before had taken its toll and my Sang Song induced hangover was going to be a good one.
So it's off to see the family which is alot better than them coming to see us. GF had bought a fridge for papa in Laos and aside from going to Laos for visas the damn thing needed delivering, but not to Laos, oh no that would be far to simple for my GF. No it was going to Sangkhom in Thailand where under the carefull eye of the local chief of police it was to be smuggled into Laos by boat, along with GFs daughter.
The journey started well, no traffic and good roads allowed a steady 130kph, and other than very nearly running over a man that was being chased by what would appear to have been the mankiest dog in Thailand (have we had that photo competition yet)? everything pretty much unaventfull. Until we got to Korat.
Police stop number 1.
I rolled down the window to greet the smiling chap and before I could say "how much this time you thieving toe rag" he piped up in Thai and informed me that his spotter thought I was going to fast (what flamming spotter?). I said nothing and left it to GF, in any case I had been touching 140kph in places so he might have had a point. Anyway she seemed to be winning the argument at this point, exactly what she said I will never know but after looking at my license and checking my load (refridgerator secured with proper cargo straps) he shook my hand said enjoy Laos and let us go with no bung, bloody miricle!!!!!!!!!!
Some hours later we arrived in Sangkhom and the first thing I noticed is that it was cold, .....ing freezing actually. Secondly I noticed a breath takingly beautiful and it was descided that it would be a good place to stop for the night, so after smuggling the fridge and daughter into Laos watched by the police, we booked into a little resort for the night. Now under normal conditions this resort would have been paradise ie balcony overlooking the Mekong river, glass of wine, beautiful girl etc etc..but too cold to sit outside, never mind.
The evening meal was taken at a little restaurant again overlooking the river. This place is owned by an Irish fellow (who wasn't there) probably out getting some decent food cos his wife couldn't cook to save her live, terrible!!!!
So a few more Sang Songs then beddy byes.
Day 2 tomorrow. Includes importing car, knocking shops and Laos police.

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## MeMock

I hope there are pics to come as well.

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## Nawty

me 3.

Also want to hear about the vehicular crossing.

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## the dogcatcher

DAY 2
7am start in Sangkhom.

Woke up in this freezing little room in the resort, looked at GF and said "we're leaving".
It was too cold to shower so we got in the car and left. Great! Thai cars don't have heaters so it was'nt until we got to Tescos in Nong Khai that I stopped shivering. The drive though the morning mist along the Mekong was spectacular. O.K. I needed a pair of shoes, only had flip flops on and was so drunk the previous morning I'd forgotten to pack anything warmer. GF had said it was cold in Laos but when she says cold she usually means less than 30 degrees, not this time!! So after buying a sleeping bag, two blankets, a hundred weight of food, two cases of beer for papa and discovering Tescos don't have any shoes in my size we headed for the bridge.
As we arrived at the bridge I concluded that 9am on a Monday morning is not a good time to depart Thailand at that border. The backpackers and tree huggers there were early risers and they were there in the hordes, I was thinking this was going to take ages, but I was wrong.
Now see if I can remember what happened in order to export the car.
Step 1. Go to the 2 little boxes in the middle of the covered area and collect 2 forms which need to be completed in duplicate (they give you carbon paper as well). You need your passport, the car's passport and log book. I looked at the forms and immediately called over a copper, I waved a pen over the forms along with a fifty baht note. 2 minutes later forms were complete.
Step 2. Take the whole jolly lot back to the two boxes in the centre, the one you need faces Laos. Hand the whole jolly lot in where a pretty little Thai girl  that checks them and prints a third.
Step 3. Take the wholly jolly lot to two fine gentlemen standing at a counter near the boxes. They asked to see the car, "it's over there" I said and pointed. They seemed to be checking that the car was the correct one.
Step 4. Take the whole jolly lot to another man in a box (facing Thailand this time) he stamps both you and your car out of L.O.S.
Step 5. Get in car and go believing that you hav'nt just been scammed (more on that later)
ARRIVING IN LAOS.
This is where it starts costing money and takes time.
Step 1. Pay 10 baht for parking car to sort out paperwork.
Step 2. Get a flamming agent to do the rest. 2500 baht the lot inc visa.
This involves. Get visa from office on the left, this is easy to spot because it has a shed load of hippies and whale savers lining up at it, this is where your agent comes in handy. (for agent read professional cue jumper and immigration bunger) then take wholly jolly lot to box just right of the centre of the road (has a sign says private cars) pay approx 250 baht for something pay another 250 baht for something else get appropriate stamps in car's passport. Agent then lead me to an insurance broker just on the Laos side where another about 600 baht was extracted for insurance for the car. Then go to get yourselve stamped in to Laos (left hand box nearest Laos) pay some more money (very small) and you and your car are in. whole process in Thailand 5 mins, process in Laos about 1 hour.
The first thing I noticed about driving in Laos is that everyone in cars and lorries drives  in lane two, overtaking is achieved by using the fast lane of the other carriageway ie into fast oncomming traffic, this is to avoid the miriad of motorbikes, tuk tuks, kaftaned farang on bicycles etc on ones right hand side.
O.k. first job was to find a hotel. I simply drove though Vientiene to the other side and picked one down a side street right next to the Mekong. 800 baht a night. The hotel is called The Mongol Hotel. It was probably nice in its day, but looks a bit threadbare now. To its credit it does have very helpfull staff, it's clean, it has a good restaurant / bar overlooking the river with live music every night, and a curious collection of telephones in the lobby??? To sum it up 5 star service, youth hostel accomodation.
We both showered, GF beautified herself, then we left for her village / s**t hole about 40 kms west of Vientiene. Now GF had already said "load not to good darling" and I had already checked the route on google earth and noted all the buildings / shacks next to the road were red, BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! descibing this piece of the Laos transport infrastructure as road was at the very very best charitable. It is amongst the worst 40 kms of bone jarring, teeth extracting and axle removing road I've encounted anyway in the world. 40 kmh max.
So one and a half hours later we arrive in said s**t hole. apparently GFs sister had been cleaning for a week knowing we were coming but I could not detect any signs of it, the place was a bump covered in litter, plastic bags, bottles etc. If thats what it looks like after cleaning what DID it look like before.
I said hello, inspected the fridge for signs of having been dropped in the mekong, said hello to papa, had a quick look at some land GF had bought, then p**sed off.
Now I don't mind a bit of the authentic S.E. Asia experience, but give me a proper bed, satellite T.V. and a good bar any day ahead of GFs village.
One and a half hours on the boneshaker and I was back at the hotel, excellent evening meal, good wine and bedtime.
About 30 mins after hitting the sack there was a knock on the door. It was the hotel receptionist wanting to know if I wanted anything, if you know what I mean. I politely declined her offer, although I did ask here "how much" 400 baht ST was the reply, not bad a good looking and very elegant girl. But no.
I closed the door and went back to bed. 5 mins later another knock, this time one of the waitress who said perhaps I didn't fancy the other girl. I said "no she beautifull like you and would but have girlfriend" Everybody in Asia has two jobs.
Tomorrow day 3, which is about Laos police and pictures if someone tells me how to upload. Rubbish with computers.

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## Marmite the Dog

Doesn't look like it. Just lots of badly laid out text.




> I hope there are pics to come as well.

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## Gerbil

> I hope there are pics to come as well.


Didnt think you'd be intrested in knocking shops, memock?

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## watterinja

You really don't want to end up in the Chicken Jail... be careful with abusing Lao kindness & import/export rules. 

The surcharge on most items rarely exceeds 20%. 

It doesn't make sense to end up in jail for a few thousand baht.

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## the dogcatcher

There's as much going one way illegally over the border as is coming back. Evens out in the end.

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## the dogcatcher

There"s as much going one way illegally as the other. Evens out in the end so no one seems to care. Apparently the Thai police won't let you smuggle after 5 pm, drugs I suppose.

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## MeMock

> Originally Posted by MeMock
> 
> I hope there are pics to come as well.
> 
> 
> Didnt think you'd be intrested in knocking shops, memock?


There was no mention of knocking shops!

Very interested in how to get my car over there though, especially through chong mek.

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## watterinja

^ Cross the main bridges. As long as your vehicle has a passport - it will be no problem at all. I do it every month.

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## MeMock

A car passport? I need one before I arrive at the border I assume?

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## Thetyim

Get it from The Land Transport office

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## MeMock

Sweet. How many beers do I owe you now Theters?

Is it easy to get, expensive?

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## Thetyim

^

50-100 baht from your registered office
200 baht from Nong Khai
7000 baht from Diethelm Travel

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## Gerbil

> As long as your vehicle has a passport


Do you need to get it vaccinated as well?  :bunny3:

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## MeMock

Depends if it has rabies or not.

Theters, thanks for that info. Is it valid for the life of the vehicle or just a year?

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## Thetyim

Only one year

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## the dogcatcher

Have to go to immigration first to get certificate of residency or whatever its called, Car passport valid 11 months. Cost 55 baht. As for knocking shops, well if my hotel was typical then pretty much everywhere is.

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## the dogcatcher

To upload pics do they need to exist somewhere else on internet.

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## dirtydog

Yep^  there is a gallery on here you can use https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/displayi...up&cat=0&pos=0

Also 3 tutorials on how to use the gallery stickied here, even a video tutorial, no idea which is best though. https://teakdoor.com/how-to-use-stuff-on-board/

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## Thetyim

> Have to go to immigration first to get certificate of residency or whatever its called


Why did you need that ?
I haven't heard that one was needed before

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## MeMock

There is that bloody letter again that I can't get (if it is true)

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## Thetyim

^
Why can't you get one ?

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## MeMock

Because I don't have a visa.

That is all I need to get my license as well remember?

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## Aquaman

My car is registered in Sakon Nakon but is kept in bangkok.  Its actually now in my BILS name.  Can he get the passport in bangkok or does he have to go to sakon nakon?

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## Nawty

^why dont you have a visa ?

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## Nawty

> To upload pics do they need to exist somewhere else on internet.



Your name is not Dennis is it ?

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## the dogcatcher

Yes, you do need a visa to get anything.

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## the dogcatcher

Every time I want anything it seems that ie change address on car or name on motorcycle the transport office ask for the certificate of residency. Now at the mo I'm living at a friends in Rayong, and every time I go to Mataphut immigration they try to fine my friends wife 800 baht for not reporting that I live there within 24 hours of my arrival, whether I reported in time or not. They have me this time though, this time it won't be 800 baht fine, it will be 1000 to the police benevolent fund and no naught boy stamp in my passport.

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## Gabriel

> A car passport?





> Get it from The Land Transport office


Is the car passport available for cars on finance?

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## MeMock

I was told no. But someone else should be able to confirm this.

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## Thetyim

> Is the car passport available for cars on finance?


Whose name is the car registered in ?

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## Gabriel

It is in my name.

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## Thetyim

^
Should be no problem then

How would the Transport Office know about the finance?

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## Gabriel

> How would the Transport Office know about the finance?


I don't know. What documents will I need at the Transport office to get the passport? 

Thank you for your help Thetyim. Much appreciated.

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## the dogcatcher

Just take every thing. Log book, cert of residency or rental agreement on condo or yellow house book, insurance, driving license, passport. Copy everything twice before you go. Finance is not ok, my friend tried cos he wanted to go with me and they said no.

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## the dogcatcher

Here's some pics. Day 3 later.

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## dirtydog



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## the dogcatcher

This is the bone shaker. Note the dust, got really quite dangerous in places cos no visability.

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## MeMock

Better late then never.

Looks pretty clean around the house, what are you talking about?

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## Nawty

Nice house....how much they want for it ?

MM is looking for some more famrhouses to go with the farmland !!

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## the dogcatcher

The guy at Tescos who cleans it had a heart failure. Usually charges 200 baht, this time he wanted 400.

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## the dogcatcher

It wasn't clean around there. Photo not big enough for detail.

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## the dogcatcher

3 rai and 3 houses. All for 100 baht.

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## the dogcatcher

Enjoying some really good French wine.

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## the dogcatcher

This is the first night resort. Pretty but COLD!!!!

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## the dogcatcher

DAY 3.
8 am start from The Hotel Mongol.

If you had told me 5 years ago that in 5 years time I'd be cruising down (hardly cruising at 5 kmh) a road (being charitable again) in Laos to collect my Laosy GF  visa I would not have believed you. 5 years ago I couldn't believe that I'd just landed a job skippering a 65 foot motor yacht in Mallorca. But there you go.
It was a beautifull morning only spoiled by the unbelievable amount of dust being chucked up my the lorries that were delivering the dust itself. Let me explain, the road is being maintained by pouring lorry loads of soil onto it and then speading it out, only to dry out within 24 hours, turn back into dust and then get kicked up by the same lorries that delivered it the previous day. Madness! Some of the locals were watering the road to keep the dust under control, but this was causing the road to break up even more, these were the 5 kph sections.
Anyhow, I arrive at GFs palace at 9.45 and it's back on the Toyota killer for another joyous ride back into town to get her visa.
Police stop number 2. We had just rounded a bend to find a policeman stopping cars, the only way you could tell he was a copper is that he had a gun since he wasn't wearing any type of uniform, a filthy anorak seems to surfice in Laos.
After we were stopped I was asked to get out of the car and with documents in hand I was ushered to the police hut (looked more like a Bob Marley beach bar), GF said nothing just followed on. At this point I'm thinking hang on, no one else is getting this treatment, is there a problem? Should I be worried? Inside I was greeted quite warmly by a little fellow, again in the de rigeur filthy anorak (his did say police on it). GF was very "sawadee kaaaaaaaaaa" and wiaied (if that's how you spell it) big time. Now I get it this is BIG BOSS local mafia (police). He then spoke, "hello Mr John" he said, he knew my name, I was guessing he saw me earilier, wondered what a farang was doing on his patch, and looked me up using my reg number (not many farang come up here in Thai plated motors).  He then said "welcome to Laos, I hope you are enjoying you stay" I replied that I was very much enjoying my stay and I loved Laos as much as I loved my dearly departed mother. He then started speaking to GF in Laotian, there was a brief discussion after which goodbyes were said, and hands shook. Nice fellow I thought, just wanted to say hello and welcome me. (wrong)
We continued on to the Thai consulate where I (stupid farang) tried to get GF a different visa to the ones they were selling, err no this consulate is a visa machine not an immigration office, never mind. With forms filled and submitted we headed of for some credit card bashing in town (GF thought that my visa card had been particularly evil just recently and needed a specially hard thrashing) but I got off light. The A.T.M.s in the morning market mall (more charity) wouldn,t accept my card, I tried about 3 then gave up. That left us with about 15 quid or about 200,000 of their stupid Kip, result for me, disaster for GF, anyhow she spent the lot on clothes and I got a packet of Rizlas. We then headed back to the hotel, I had slap and tickle in mind. We had got about half way back and I, thinking I knew my way around Vientiene after being there 5 mins, made an illegal turn into a one way street. Police stop number 3. O.K. rozzer, this time I'm bang to rites, you got me, I'm nicked, well done!!! I got out of the car and followed the nice policeman to nice table where there were lots of other policemen waiting for bungertime. He informed GF that I had made an illegal turn, and she pointed out that there was no sign. He then pointed to the sign which tells you not to turn left at the next junction. She then exclaimed that yes there is a sign but it's 200 bloody meters before the turning and where was the no entry sign at the top of the street. (the post was there, the sign long gone). He wasn't budging, I was nicked and that's it, he then told her what the donation was going to be. GF went BALLISTIC!!!!! "HOW MUCH!!!! YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR TINY THIEVING LITTLE MIND" she said. After that there was more heated discussion and more and more, but he wasn't shifting, that's what he wanted and that's what he was going to get. "Pay the man darling" I said and she duly slipped the money under his unsurprisingly unused looking ticket book and we left. Now at this point I was worried because I've never seen GF kick of with The M.I.B. in Thailand, how much was the bung (I'd forgotten we had nearly no money) Causiously I enquired "how much darling" she replied 12,000 Kip. It took me a little while to compute back into sensible money but with calculation completed I started to laugh, alot. The bung was 50 baht, not worth arguing about.
Nooky achieved we left the hotel to go back to Grimsville, for me at least 3 hours of torment, not to mention about a years worth torchure for my 4 week old car.
At the end of the road to GFs village GF ask me to pull over, I asked why. Apparently earlier in the day the copper in the Bob Marley policestation had ask her for a lift from town back to the station which she had kindly agreed to. After a short wait said copper appeared WITH 6 other coppers, two of them had Kaleshnikov AK 47 with then. I said nothing. I simply selected the cleanest looking three and sat them in the back,  put the other 4 in cargo class and off we went looking like something out of an African civil war movie.
Rest of the day uneventfull, except for a really exeptional bottle of wine at dinner.

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## Nawty

Sounds like fun.

You ought to learn to take more pics if you want an appreciative audience here.

You also need to learn how to make paragraphs with spaces between them so our eyes don't keep going funny.

Even I know how to do that and I don't know what a noun or a verb is.

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## the dogcatcher

I,ve got more pics. They need to be resized and the you can see them. Didn't MeMock I think it was complain earier in the thread about my use of paragraphs.
So I stopped doing it.

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## the dogcatcher

Sorry it was Marmite

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## the dogcatcher

I know this is wrong place butt Dirtydog is the  server for the web hosting you offer in Thailand?

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## dirtydog

Nope, America.

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## the dogcatcher

GF and daughter.

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## the dogcatcher

Funny looking little thing, but a good heart.

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## the dogcatcher

Vientiene.

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## the dogcatcher

Resaurant out back hotel Mongol.

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## the dogcatcher

This is view of Mekong from the back of a farang Italianos gaff.

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## MeMock

> I,ve got more pics. They need to be resized and the you can see them. Didn't MeMock I think it was complain earier in the thread about my use of paragraphs.
> So I stopped doing it.


Nope wasn't me. I like paragraphs and photos.  :Smile:

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## the dogcatcher

Yeah, sorry it was Marmite that complained.

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## MeMock

Thats all he ever does.

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## Nawty

and shag apparently....or dream maybe.

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## the dogcatcher

As I said before "DUMP"

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## MeMock

What did you actually expect?

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## watterinja

Laos does not encourage debt, so folks build their homes a little bit at a time, when cash is available.

Even motorcycles, kubotas are purchased with cash.

Don't be so hard on the lack of eye-candy. The folks are hard-working & honest, in the main.

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## MeMock

The house is a dump, the road is to bumpy, my girlfriend looks funny....

 :Smile:

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## the dogcatcher

All agreed with, I was expecting that after a week of cleaning perhaps a little more. Specifically the family are not poor by comparison to others in Laos. They all earn over 100 uk pounds a month, in Laos that's good.

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## the dogcatcher

DAY 4.

I had descided the previos day that I needed a rest from the morning teeth rattler so GF was going to come into town on the bus. She arrived about 2 hours before she was due (trying to catch me out, if you understand my meaning).
She had been on an open bus and was broadly the same shade of brown as the dust, she insisted on a shower and didn't blame her.
Nothing much to do today other than collect her visa, which after breakfast (another superb offering from the hotel) we commenced with. I wanted to get to the consulate early and we had plenty of time since visa collection is only after 1.00 pm. (Being last in any queue in Asian is an order of magnitude worse than being first). To that end we went over to the other side of town for an investigation. Other than the odd monument, statue and wat I couldn't really find anything of interest so we went to a bar near the consulate where I preceeded to drink. GF went off at 12.30 to get visa and didn't reappear for 3 hours. By that time I was on my 6th large beer Laos. (didn't like it at first but grows on you) and was contemplating food. A large fillet of white fish in tariaki sauce, delicious!
By 8 o'clock that night I was puking my guts. Never mind.
Bit of a boring day, only made worse by bad food.

Tomorrow the trip home.

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## MeMock

Why didn't you sleep at the GF's house?

 :Smile:

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## the dogcatcher

Firstly it was freezing cold, secondly it's a dump, thirdly I like my creature comforts and lastly it's illegal. Can you imagen some of the jealous thoughts going round the village when GF turns up with rich farang with new car, her wearing new clothes, and having money in her pocket. Now I don't know whether her family is liked round there but a call to the local filth out of jealousy or poverty ie the caller gets half the 5000$ bung that I would have to pay to get me out of the shit for sleeping with a Laos national is all I need. There are many stoties on the net. One fellow had been all over the world, live in the U.S. with his Laos GF and had the complete blessing of all the family. He went back to obtain correct paperwork for marriage and two days later, in came the door out came the $5000 and he was deported. The jealousy thing is big here where I live, when I first came to Samnakthong all the girls ever spoke about for 3 months is why I had chosen a Laos girl, what was wrong with Thai girls. still a bit goes on now especially after my house was started. We even had insults sprayed on the road outside, this was quickly sorted out by me befriending the local top cop, now I play golf with him every other Thursday. No probs.

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## hillbilly

Nice report thus far. The only suggestion that I might offer is shorter paragraphs with more pics.  :Smile:

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## PBateman

Great report! Don't worry about the paragraph lenghts. Just keep em coming.  :Smile:

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## expatudon08

> I hope there are pics to come as well.


good post but as above put a couple of photos in makes a great post  :tieme: dont be lazy

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## the dogcatcher

Trip home.

It had been descided (I descided) that GF would stay at the hotel the night before we came home to facilitate a quick getaway so she did. Aside from the quick getaway I had started to despise the rubbish road and bits had started to fall off the car. (two of the plastic bits over the windows and the rear number plate).
We set off at 7am the first stop being to buy alot of bottles of Laos champaigne (I think), the labels all in Laos and since they disappeared the morning after we got home I never found out, I didn't even bother asking. The second stop was for fags, again lots, they disappeared as well which didn't bothered  me at all  since I had tried a Laos cigarette when Papa offered me a straight swap of a pack of his for a pack of mine (he definately got the better deal). And so to the border.
Getting out of Laos in a car is as simple as getting out of Thailand, it costs no money (I think) and takes about 5 mins just for your passports (yours and the cars) to be stamped etc etc. I was relieved that it was so easy because I had yet another massive hangover (laos whiskey induced) and I wanted to get on with the 1000 odd kms in front of us, besides this we had to meet daughter in Sangkhom again at about 9.30.
So we arrived in Thailand, and getting back in was easy, with a twist. Remember on day 2 I said that the last step in getting out of Thailand with a car was "get in car and go without thinking you've just been scammed" or something like that, well had you done this you would have been wrong and this is how the scam works. The trap is set for you up front, it is simple and clever. Remember the 2 forms that I filled out in duplicate (payed police to do) well, they are the two forms that you retain and allow you to get your car back into Thailand. They are meant to be signed by the man (i think) that stamps you passports and in our case he had conveniently forgotten to do it. This, I was informed by the nice thief that greeted us (smiling) could only be rectified by a small donation (200 baht) to The Retirement Home For Thai Police Dogs. No problem but I told him I had to go to the A.T.M because I had no baht. He kindly agreed and off I went. In went my card, in went the P.I.N. and up came the message "Transaction cancelled, please refer the card issuer". "WHAT?" I thought, "there's quite alot of money in there, must be a problem with tha machine" So I tried one of my Spanish cards and managed to get a measly 1000 baht (everything in that account) this raised the alarm bells very loudly. Now I dont know about your cards, but if my card is refused by one A.T.M. then it's refused by ALL the machines in Thailand for 24 hours, this meant we had nearly no money for fuel and would have even less after the scamming bastards on the boarder got their bung. Anyway I had to pay them so I did and off we went. (clever little Thai boys). We drove back to Sangkhom slowly (fuel), I was expecting to see GFs daughter waiting for us but no. In true Asian style daughter was not instructed to leave Laos until we got there so we had an hour to wait, I did point out to GF that there was a lack of joined up thinking going on here but, hey this is Asia, where there's usually no thinking going on at all.
Whilst we were waiting GF descided that she was hungry and proceeded to spend 100  of our now 800 baht on weed soup, or that's what it looked like. I didn't seen her do this, and when I realised I went spare. "YOU STUPID COW, HAVENT YOU TWIGGED WE'RE FLAMMING POTLESS" I shouted (came out as "darling I think we need to be a little more carefull with the money, we haven't much for fuel). I actually was quite concerned, I had calculated that that 700 baht plus the fuel we had would be just enough and all it would take is another bung and we were screwed. I put it out of my head, I'll worry about it if it happens I thought.
Standing there on my own (GF was off witering with a couple old girls by the som tom moped) I came to the attention of some of my fellow smugglers. I was approached by a little old man (everybody little in Thailand  if you're six two like me) that looked like he needed ironing. First he started talking about boxing and told me that in his day he was a contender (must of been atom weight) and asked me if I had ever boxed. I told him a little, but stopped cos it hurt. He then quickly moved onto the subject of GF and made the observation that she was very small, he then pointed out to me that I was very big (well spotted). I wondered where he was going with all this and I soon found out when he said ( and these are his exact words ) "I bet she's got a tight pussy," everybody laughted. I have to say that I was a little taken aback but this is Thailand so I pitched in and indicated with hand signals that this was the case, and everybody laughted again. At this point the bloody police turned up again and the laughing stopped. I moved away back to GF and the copper moved towards the men. I couldn't hear what was said and my Thai is rubbish so I can only guess but a little money changed hands, there was a bit of laughing and copper went on his way. Broadly what I expected would happen. 5 mins later daughter arrived and off we went.
The first 100 klick was fine, there was very little traffic and we made good time and then guess ruddy what? Stopped by M.I.B (I prefer muggers in brown).
The smiley, slightly portly gentlemugger suggested that his spotter (he had one this time) was unhappy with me hammering it down the outside lane at 140 kph with my arm hanging out the window, which was all true, he also informed me that the gratuity was going to be 200 baht. I looked at GF and she went immediately into dealing with filth mode. She expained that we had very little money because of the A.T.M problem and besides we only had a 500 note (good lyer GF) which she produced. I looked at her again and said in English "if you give him that we're buggered" she understood the situation and that I wanted to give him nothing and then told the copper that it's a flat NO unless you have change. He, by this time was eyeing a packet of Marlbro on the dashboard and then made the suggestion that a packet of bully would do, so I offered him a half eaten pack. No he wanted the full one, so that's what he got.  he then saluted and sent us on our way. Lucky farang!!
Anoth 300 kms passed with no problems, we were doing well and I was enjoying the driving. Then guess what? Another Thai road pricing scheme at the same place as we were stopped the first time. A policeman approached us and I lowered the window, we reconised each other immediately, it was the same fellow as before and we both laughered. He asked GF where we had been and she replied Laos. He then made the observation that we hade brought a measurable percentage of the Laos terrafirma back with us, then came the subject of fags (cigarettes for our American members) and had we got any? yeah, we got plenty replied GF. She opened a carton and a few coppers gathered around like bar girls do when the ping pong balls come out. I think we lost 6 packs. Not too bad.
We said our goodbyes, he shook my hand and away we went.
We got back to Samnakthong on fumes, the gauge was very close to empty and the " I'm thirsty" light had been on quite a long time, but we made it.
2300 kilometers, robbed of 7 packs of snout and 250 baht, and light 1 number plate. (I pulled the plastic bits over the windows off before they fell off).
To sum up Laos
I think if you spend A little time there you would find alot more than I did. I basically went to get GFs visa, deliver a fridge and give GF a chance to show the village that she really did have a farang boyfriend and the rumours were all true, yes he's a handsome chap LOL. We're going again during songkran this time and I want to use the time to travel up country and try some of the things Laos is famous for. If it's any good I'll let you know.
More pics tomorrow, having probs with computer, right now I'm in the village internet laundrette (everything in Asia has two uses) and no access to pics.
Regards The Dogcatcher.

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## watterinja

> Firstly it was freezing cold, secondly it's a dump, thirdly I like my creature comforts and lastly it's illegal. Can you imagen some of the jealous thoughts going round the village when GF turns up with rich farang with new car, her wearing new clothes, and having money in her pocket. Now I don't know whether her family is liked round there but a call to the local filth out of jealousy or poverty ie the caller gets half the 5000$ bung that I would have to pay to get me out of the shit for sleeping with a Laos national is all I need. There are many stoties on the net. One fellow had been all over the world, live in the U.S. with his Laos GF and had the complete blessing of all the family. He went back to obtain correct paperwork for marriage and two days later, in came the door out came the $5000 and he was deported. The jealousy thing is big here where I live, when I first came to Samnakthong all the girls ever spoke about for 3 months is why I had chosen a Laos girl, what was wrong with Thai girls. still a bit goes on now especially after my house was started. We even had insults sprayed on the road outside, this was quickly sorted out by me befriending the local top cop, now I play golf with him every other Thursday. No probs.


Are you referring to Laos, or Thailand here? 

I can understand the Thai jealousy over a Laos girl, not quite sure about what else you wrote?

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## the dogcatcher

Watterinja, I am assuming you are Laotian. I spoke with GF and she agreed that it probably was best I didn't stay in the village. You never know what may happen when there is a possibility of a big pay off. It is illegal to have sex with a Laotian out of wedlock if you are foriegn, I imagen it is an attempt to curb prostitution, not that it has worked from what I saw in Vientiene. Even staying in the same house can be risky. I refer you to an atticle entitled "My Laos nightmare". I'll go find the URL now.

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## the dogcatcher

Unfortunately since I read the article "my Laos nightmare" another publication with the same title has swamped google so I can't find the piece I am refering to.

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## watterinja

We'd heard a similar rumour. The veracity of the story seems to be based on a 'law' prohibiting cohabitation that seems to be enforced in some situations, but not in others. Much of the enforcement seems to be opportunistic in nature, or to solve a problem.

As with most things in SE Asia, finding this 'law' in a statute book is extremely difficult, as in Laos, the legal establishment is not very solid, with interpretation & enforcement left up to local authorities.

Consultations with various officials invariably ends up with as many interpretations as officials questioned. Enforcement seems to be tied to who you know, or are related to.

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## the dogcatcher

Exactly! You never know. So play it safe.

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## the dogcatcher

Crossing the bridge.

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## the dogcatcher

This is a monks house. Note the state of the art satelite dish. Can't miss the Man United game now can we.

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