#  >  > Non Asia Travel Forums >  >  > Travel the World Travellers Tales Forum >  >  Is Lagos nice?

## slimboyfat

I have just got the approval cablegramme from the immigration dept in Nigeria for a temporary work permit so I should be off to Lagos on Friday or Saturday.

What would you recommend to do in Lagos? 

I intend to spend as little time there as possible ofcourse but I'll probably be there for 2-3 days.

What I really want to know is, how do I avoid being kidnapped and/or killed? Thanks.

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## Rural Surin

It surely better be worth the financial rewards....

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## slimboyfat

> It surely better be worth the financial rewards....


Just my normal salary plus the usual SGD $100 per night travel allowance.

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## Smug Farang Bore

Good luck mate!

The oil trash that I knew that went there ERR didn't have ERR a very good word to say.

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## Gerbil

> What would you recommend to do in Lagos?


Nothing.




> What I really want to know is, how do I avoid being kidnapped and/or killed? Thanks.


Stay in your hotel. Travel to wherever you're working with a company driver, then straight back to the hotel.

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## Bangyai

> What would you recommend to do in Lagos?


Stay in your hotel room, lock and barricade the door and turn out the lights.

If you have to go out, black up with shoe polish and try to blend in.

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## slimboyfat

Thanks for the advice, Gerbil.

Don't think I'll be in a hotel though, I'll probably be staying onboard the diving support vessel I'm inspecting. So a bit of piracy too. All very exciting.

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## Warrior

Maybe you could apply for their space program.
Otherwise... stay inside, and use a trained driver, hopefully your company provide you with one.

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## Cujo

Some local chaps walking their poodles.

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## Cujo

> Thanks for the advice, Gerbil.
> 
> Don't think I'll be in a hotel though, I'll probably be staying onboard the diving support vessel I'm inspecting. So a bit of piracy too. All very exciting.


You're staying on the boat and you still get $100.00 allowance?
Where do I sign up.

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## Gerbil

> Some local chaps walking their poodles.


Got to admit, that's a bit more macho than a pitbull on a string  :Smile:

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## Bangyai

A you tube search is enlightening :

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## kingwilly

Sounds bladdy horrid.

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## DJ Pat

Gotta be something worth seeing?

Nigeria Official Tourism Website

Looks like a lot of fun

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## jizzybloke

Never heard a single good word said about Nigeria by anyone the has been there!

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## Cujo

Tell you what Pat. Happens I know a guy there who operates a disco and pays fucking excellent money for foreign DJs. If you're interested I can set you up, but I tell you, it's hard.

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## kingwilly

Michael Palin made it look ok in one of his series. (Least I think it was Nigeria).

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## Gerbil

^ he was surrounded by a camera team and production crew (and no doubt a few local minders as well)

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## kingwilly

The 'bar' was a wooden shack in the middle of nowhere.  :Smile:

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## DJ Pat

> Tell you what Pat. Happens I know a guy there who operates a disco and pays fucking excellent money for foreign DJs. If you're interested I can set you up, but I tell you, it's hard.



Alright then, how much do you want in advance?

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## cdnski12

When I was offered a job there in 1972, our local (black) South African Oil Pipeline Flushing Crew said the first thing they did on arrival, was to buy a good pistol. Even our black guys went armed everywhere. My South African bosses were anxious to send this (then) young Canuck off to Nigeria, as they could not go there. Few of my black crew were going, so I decided I wasn't that desperate for a few more USD.

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## leemo

> ...
> 
> What I really want to know is, how do I avoid being kidnapped and/or killed? Thanks.


I'd start posting some really nice things about Islam, and curse the infidels. Might just save your neck.

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## Cujo

> Originally Posted by Koojo
> 
> 
> Tell you what Pat. Happens I know a guy there who operates a disco and pays fucking excellent money for foreign DJs. If you're interested I can set you up, but I tell you, it's hard.
> 
> 
> 
> Alright then, how much do you want in advance?


Well I don't want anything but there might be some Visa fees payable. £5000.00 should cover it.  Not for me you understand.

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## PAG

You need to get concise instructions from the company or agency that you will be working for.   Do not leave the airport unless you have been met.   Make sure that you have a mobile that will work there, and have contact numbers both for work and emergency.

Victoria Island (VI) is the upmarket area of Lagos, where the wealthy live and all of the multi-national companies are based.   There are a few decent hotels there (especially in the Lekki area) and some bar complexes.   I spent 6 months in Lekki and had an OK time.

Get guidance from the people who you will be meeting there, particularly other expats.

I was at this place (Pat's Bar) a few times, and was good for food and drink, and loads of women:

http://www.thirdworldprofashional.co...estaurant.html

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## Marmite the Dog

The best Guinness comes from Nigeria.

Other than that, it's a toilet as per most of Africa.

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## Albert Shagnastier

My uncle was over there about 20 years ago for a few days. Him and his mates scored a bag of weed of an evening and would sit on the balcony watching car accidents at the four way junction below. At the time, the traffic lights had been switched off as nobody paid attention to them anyway so the government opted to save the electricity. Whoever got to the junction first had right of way. So, obviously, two cars would spot each other and race to reach the junction. So, obviously, there were several head on collisions a night which made much better viewing then the cinema round the corner.

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## leemo

I think you'll find things have changed. Now Nigeria has loads of oil, so they can afford to power the traffic lights.

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## PAG

> I think you'll find things have changed. Now Nigeria has loads of oil, so they can afford to power the traffic lights.


Not really, inspite of the wealth, the infrastructure is crap, with almost daily power failures.

I've spent time in some of the worse and unsafe places in Africa, and Lagos comes out tops for the feeling of intimidation and threat.

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## good2bhappy

was there as a child
nowadays I'd prefer the one in Portugal

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## slimboyfat

So overall, it's a no then.

I should have my visa on Friday, flying to Lagos via Dohar early on Saturday morning.

My company has no experience of Nigeria - I am the first one going as one of the vessels that we manage has ended up there. Security wise I am at the mercy of whatever the ship's agent (who the charterer has appointed, not us) lays on.

Oh I will be given US$500 to give to various immigration/customs/other officials etc as apparently this is necessary.

If I were 20 again this would probably be exciting.

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## jizzybloke

I was told just getting out of the airport was a ball ache, every fucker wants money before you can go to the next one...

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## Albert Shagnastier

> Oh I will be given US$500 to give to various immigration/customs/other officials etc as apparently this is necessary.


Offer the top dude $400 to get you through and take you to a top brothel that costs 100.
Worth a try  :Smile:

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## PAG

> So overall, it's a no then.
> 
> I should have my visa on Friday, flying to Lagos via Dohar early on Saturday morning.
> 
> My company has no experience of Nigeria - I am the first one going as one of the vessels that we manage has ended up there. Security wise I am at the mercy of whatever the ship's agent (who the charterer has appointed, not us) lays on.
> 
> Oh I will be given US$500 to give to various immigration/customs/other officials etc as apparently this is necessary.
> 
> If I were 20 again this would probably be exciting.


I went in and out of the airport a few times, and ad hoc payments were not necessary.   Do not leave the airport and take a taxi.   Get the phone details/name of who ever is going to meet you, and stay in the airport until they are there.   Who is the charterer?   If it's a DSV you're going to inspect, probably a major operator?

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## chingching

injections for every known disease that will kill you inc EBOLA 
stay away from the prostitutes and 419 cafes

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## Bower

It's the arsehole of the world.
My last trip a gunfight took place outside the hotel, his bloated body was still there when I left 2 days later.
I wouldn't go anywhere without an armed bodyguard or two and promise them a big tip in US$ at the airport when you leave.

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## DJ Pat

Don't use an ATM

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## kingwilly

But don't forget to take some pics for a TD thread.

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## leemo

> My company has no experience of Nigeria


Did you consider this bit?

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## tuktukdriver

Try naughtynomad.com

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## bigneilo

I lived in nigeria for 3 years , 98 to 2001, Lagos and the majority of nigeria is a shithole but there are a few nice ( ish) places, calabar and cross river state in general, with wildlife centres, rain forests etc.  also jos, roughly mid country which is in the highlands.  Great climate up there.

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## tonyroma

its a dangerous place ,,,,take all precautions and dont relax

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## patsycat

My father, who worked for WHO, travelled and worked in Nigeria numerous times throughout my childhood and adulthood.

He called it the "Black hole of Africa" and came home with obvious signs of not eating enough or just all over tiredness.  He never talked about what he went through but just seeing his face told a few stories. 

I also had a boss here that did business in Nigeria and he would physically start shaking when told he had to go there.

Not exactly a holiday destination!!

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## wasabi

Is this region of Africa many moons ago the main catchment area for the slave trade that transported people from here to the U.S.A

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## Bower

> Is this region of Africa many moons ago the main catchment area for the slave trade that transported people from here to the U.S.A


Most were transported from 'The Gold Coast' now the coastal part of Ghana, mainly captured by the Ashanti from further North and certainly into what's now Nigeria. The Ashanti then sold captured natives to the Fanti tribe who sold them onto what ever Europeans were in residence in the costal forts in Cape Coast, Elmina etc

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## PAG

There was a lot of trading between the European colonist countries for access to the slave market.   What is now Equatorial Guinea (I spent 6 years there) was ceded to the Spanish from the Portuguese specifically so the Spanish would have access to slaves.   Portugal populated Brazil with slaves from Angola (I spent another 3 years there also) and Mozambique.   The British used their colonies for the West Indian and US plantations.

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## SF81

I worked in Lagos for around 9 months last year, I thought the place was not that bad tbh.

The place looks a shite hole and the traffic and volume of people is mental but apart from that there is a good day/night out to be had in Lagos.

As someone said the many place for expats is Victoria Island, There is a number of Hotels over there, Eko Hotel being probably the main one  You can get a drink in there aswell but its a bit expensive.

There is loads of different Bars over in VI and most them are ok, 

Pats bar that has been mentioned is ok, good number of expats, decent grub and drink and loads of woman,

Cheers bar, Is ok and you can get most types of drink in there aswell, an awrite band play on a saturday night and again loads of woman.

Step Inn, Its more the local expat hang out and does a cracking breakfast, all sporting events on in there and a decent place to get a pint, not so much woman in there.

Bubbles, ok on a Wednesday night and has a band on aswell.

Michaels Nightclub, Its a decent spot, its again fuckin mental place to go but its not a bad night in there, packed to the rafters with woman.

Al's bar, This is over in Apapa, Apapa is a shite hole but there is some ok bars over there aswell, Al's Bar is basically someones living room turned into a bar, good sunday session in there had has pool table and jukebok.

Thistle Bar, Is in Apapa aswell and again its ok, There is a live band on a Saturday night which is usually ok, 

Club 21, Its the nightclub in Apapa, I would only go in there with a few people, its near picth black and alot the lebanese go there from the boats. Its mobbed with woman and an awrite night out if ye dont mind thinks a bit mad. its also packed out with Woman.

Goodies is the supermarket that has most stuff aswell, There is plenty of places to get food, There is Thai, Indian, Lebanese, Turkish, all sorts of different places for going for a meal.

There is a few more places that i cant really remember at the moment but all in all i had a good time there, its not for most people but i fairly enjoyed my time there and would go back.

never walk the streets and allways use a driver from place to place no matter how close it might be, I never seen any trouble apart from daft expats fighting over woman.

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## mickey

> So overall, it's a no then.
> 
> I should have my visa on Friday, flying to Lagos via Dohar early on Saturday morning.
> 
> My company has no experience of Nigeria - I am the first one going as one of the vessels that we manage has ended up there. Security wise I am at the mercy of whatever the ship's agent (who the charterer has appointed, not us) lays on.
> 
> Oh I will be given US$500 to give to various immigration/customs/other officials etc as apparently this is necessary.
> 
> If I were 20 again this would probably be exciting.


Go there with an open mind, and come back to report the truth. Most of what you're being told here are as reported by the bbc and cnn. 

If Nigeria is crap, then the power that created Nigeria is crap as well, as a son cannot be greater than his father.

A Nigerian visa is applied for at a Nigerian embassy, while payment is made online. I've never heard of the Nigerian authorities contacting visa applicants via a cablegram or whatever, that their visas are approved.

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## Cujo

> Originally Posted by slimboyfat
> 
> 
> So overall, it's a no then.
> 
> I should have my visa on Friday, flying to Lagos via Dohar early on Saturday morning.
> 
> My company has no experience of Nigeria - I am the first one going as one of the vessels that we manage has ended up there. Security wise I am at the mercy of whatever the ship's agent (who the charterer has appointed, not us) lays on.
> 
> ...


No, what's been reported here has been people personel experiences for the most part.


> If Nigeria is crap, then the power that created Nigeria is crap as well, as a son cannot be greater than his father.


What a load of nonsense.


> A Nigerian visa is applied for at a Nigerian embassy, while payment is made online.


Application in person at the embassy but payment online? I doubt it.


> I've never heard of the Nigerian authorities contacting visa applicants via a cablegram or whatever, that their visas are approved.


Where did anyone say that?
Are you Nigerian?

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## Patrick

> If Nigeria is crap, then the power that created Nigeria is crap as well, as a son cannot be greater than his father.


I guess this is a jibe at the former Colonial Power - Britain - are you Nigerian, because this is a familiar refrain from them.

I lived in Lagos for 4 years from 1984 - 89 as MD of a major Company there with a Company house, 4 cars, motorboat, Maids, Drivers and Security, sounds like a wonderful Lifestyle right? Hated the place with a passion but hung on for the money.

One of my favourite peeves was that any time something went wrong in the Country, which was often - power cuts (several times a week for hours at a time), floods, train derailment whatever, *every* time the cry went up in the Newspapers or on TV "this is the fault of our Colonial Heritage". Nigeria received Independence from Britain in 1960 but still, 30 years later, the Nigerians would not accept responsibility for their own incompetence, corruption and failures.

Nigerians call their cesspit "the giant of Africa" and look down on all other West Africans ....... but every one of the skilled workers in my Company - Electricians, Machinists etc. etc. were from other Countries such as Ghana and Benin.

No-one could pay me enough money to spend a week in Lagos.

Patrick

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## slimboyfat

Flying tomorrow night. Should be back in Singapore on Thursday. 

Happy days.

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## panama hat

> was there as a child


My father was there in the late 50s witht an engineering/construction company before he joined the foreign service, my brother was born in Bauchi - in a rush and six weeks early.  Couldn't even make it to Lagos. 

Been there once for a meeting - - - never again.  

Hope you hid well.

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## norfolkc

spent somtime in Port Harcourt that was ok i seem to remember  :bananaman:

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## Cujo

> Originally Posted by mickey
> 
> 
>  
> If Nigeria is crap, then the power that created Nigeria is crap as well, as a son cannot be greater than his father.
> 
> 
> 
> I guess this is a jibe at the former Colonial Power - Britain - are you Nigerian, because this is a familiar refrain from them.


Also quite ridiculous as if that is so, then in this case the 'son' is certainly not greater than the father, in fact the son is a wastrel and a loser, but the expression itself is ridiculous.
Is he suggesting that every great man had an even greater father?
How come we've never heard of Einsteins father? and if Einstein's father was greater than Einstein, and no man can be greater than his father, Then einsteins grandfather must have been greter even than Einsteins father, (and so on)


> I lived in Lagos for 4 years from 1984 - 89 as MD of a major Company there with a Company house, 4 cars, motorboat, Maids, Drivers and Security, sounds like a wonderful Lifestyle right? Hated the place with a passion but hung on for the money.
> 
> One of my favourite peeves was that any time something went wrong in the Country, which was often - power cuts (several times a week for hours at a time), floods, train derailment whatever, *every* time the cry went up in the Newspapers or on TV "this is the fault of our Colonial Heritage". Nigeria received Independence from Britain in 1960 but still, 30 years later, the Nigerians would not accept responsibility for their own incompetence, corruption and failures.
> 
> Nigerians call their cesspit "the giant of Africa" and look down on all other West Africans ....... but every one of the skilled workers in my Company - Electricians, Machinists etc. etc. were from other Countries such as Ghana and Benin.
> 
> No-one could pay me enough money to spend a week in Lagos.
> 
> Patrick

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## Cujo

> Flying tomorrow night. Should be back in Singapore on Thursday. 
> 
> Happy days.


Full trip report with pics would be nice.

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## Gerbil

> Full trip report with pics would be nice.


It will be short. Something like this probably:

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## Cujo

He should drop in and see Dugs friend fucknuckle.
I have the address.

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## slimboyfat

What is the best way to bribe a Nigerian official, or do they come straight out with a demand of cash. 
Is bargaining on the amount acceptable?

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## baldrick

like bribing any border scum - have small notes and never show how much you actually have

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## Bower

> What is the best way to bribe a Nigerian official, or do they come straight out with a demand of cash. 
> Is bargaining on the amount acceptable?


Just ask them if there is a small problem and could you give them some 'chop money' to thank them for their help sorting it out. 'Chop money' means money for refreshment, food drink.

They may also ask you to 'dash them' that means a tip.

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## leemo

> What is the best way to bribe a Nigerian official, or do they come straight out with a demand of cash. 
> Is bargaining on the amount acceptable?


Save some money, tell them you are a man of principle and where you come from bribery is unacceptable.

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## Gerbil

> They may also ask you to 'dash them' that means a tip.


Don't listen to him SBF. "Dash them" means they'd like you to gently fondle their bollocks. Trust me.  :Smile:

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## Albert Shagnastier

> What is the best way to bribe a Nigerian official, or do they come straight out with a demand of cash. Is bargaining on the amount acceptable?


First thing to do is say "Eh eh!" loudly
Follow this with a big grin and the "click" handshake
After this give it the biggun and tell him you're first cousins with Prince Philip.

Plain sailing after that  :Smile:

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## Bower

> Originally Posted by Bower
> 
> They may also ask you to 'dash them' that means a tip.
> 
> 
> Don't listen to him SBF. "Dash them" means they'd like you to gently fondle their bollocks. Trust me.



 :smiley laughing:

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## MANICHAEAN

Did six years there, plus upcountry.

Lagos: Try Bar Beach on a Sunday. They tie the armed robbers to oil drums and they are shot. In fact they have to give a bribe (dash) to get shot cleanly.

Palm wine is good plus the "bottom power.

Trust this helps.

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## baldrick

> After this give it the biggun and tell him you're first cousins with Prince Philip.


and then continue with the english tradition of cousins - shag him up the arse




> Save some money, tell them you are a man of principle and where you come from bribery is unacceptable.


I do use similar to that technique in Madagascar - my driver is instructed to tell the uniformed thieves that I cannot give them any money as it is against company policy and I will lose my job - they just shrug and wave us on

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## slimboyfat

Well I got into the country without having to bribe anyone at the airport.

And I had a couple of Star beers at Pat's bar last night.

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## slimboyfat

No luck so far in locating a Lagos fridge magnet for my collection.

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## baldrick

^
Souvenir From Lagos - Travel - Nairaland

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## slimboyfat

I just got home. 

I'll answer my own question now then.

The airport experience is pretty awful. Not much of a system at all and some rude officials doing their best to piss you off. 
However, no outright demands for money and I didn't pay anything arriving or departing, but that was possibly because all my documents etc were in order and I wasn't in a great hurry.

I got picked up at the airport in a regular car, and was driven around in it all the time I was there. Tipped the driver $50 at the airport when leaving and he seemed pleased with that. I was pleased to be leaving all in one piece.

My company have one guy sitting in Lagos hoping to get more business for us there.
Apart from the fact that he is a Swede he was a great host and had lived in Lagos for 5 years and is married to a Nigerian.

Was out every night going to places that he knows. Again, no great security - just driven from place to place. One of the guys I was talking to told me that things are not too bad safety wise, but never get complacent. Seemed like good advice to me from what I observed.

Went to Pat's bar (expat bar), Churchills bar (expat bar), Radisson Hotel bar and  (waterfront, very pleasant), Bottles (Mexican restaurant bar, a lot of fun with dancing etc) and finally some strip club on my last night - which I can't really remember much about.

Overall, it was so much better than I expected and I actually enjoyed it. The expats I was talking to asked me to keep that to myself.


And yes - I got my Nigeria fridge magnet.

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## Cujo

> I just got home. 
> 
> I'll answer my own question now then.
> 
> The airport experience is pretty awful. Not much of a system at all and some rude officials doing their best to piss you off. 
> However, no outright demands for money and I didn't pay anything arriving or departing, but that was possibly because all my documents etc were in order and I wasn't in a great hurry.
> 
> I got picked up at the airport in a regular car, and was driven around in it all the time I was there. Tipped the driver $50 at the airport when leaving and he seemed pleased with that. I was pleased to be leaving all in one piece.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the report, I like to hear the result.

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