#  >  > Non Asia Travel Forums >  >  > Travel the World Travellers Tales Forum >  >  Don't "Bonjour" me - ya bonobo bastards.

## withnallstoke

Landing in Paris airport in the late evening after cancelled and delayed flights from Bangkok, checked into a hotel (120 Euros !!!) and supped a couple of bottles of Frances staple (another 40 Euros!!!), had a quick nap, overslept, dashed to the airport and just managed to catch the morning flight to Brest.

When i alighted from a short hop flight from Paris to Brest, hungover, i was met with clear blue skies and a very warm sun.
Quick photo of the outside of the airport, then off to explore a country i have never visited.

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## Loy Toy

International traveler and trend setter now?

Looking forward to more pictures of pubs, bars and cobble stone alleyways.  :Smile:

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## nidhogg

> International traveler and trend setter now?
> 
> Looking forward to more pictures of pubs, bars and cobble stone alleyways.


Think you forgot "gutters".  
































only messing with ya Withnall.  jealous as f*ck.

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## withnallstoke

First impressions count - and my first impressions were all good. The road surfaces were well maintained, trees and hedges were all trimmed back, and drainage ditches on the roadsides were clutter free. Little traffic as well, it was midday and all the locals were either eating or sleeping.

The scenery was eye pleasing. Lots of trees, some with the first flashes of Autumn colouring, gently rolling hills, copses, birds of prey and no Frenchies. So overcome with the sights and smells, i decided 40 minutes was long enough and pulled off the road in a pleasant looking little village for a beverage.

Having failed to find a book in the language section entitled "How to speak double bastard Dutch", i spoke loudly and slowly to the serving wench, in the Queens finest, and i must say, i was delighted with the outcome.

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## withnallstoke

> Looking forward to more pictures of pubs, bars and cobble stone alleyways.


I do believe you may be on the wrong thread.
This is a cultural essay.  :Smile:

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## withnallstoke

A little perplexed at being given a rather chunky grey cup in which to sup the cider from, a local beer was ordered, the plan being if i got another cup to drink beer from that the cup would be shoved somewhere unpleasant.

The barmaid read my mind, and a glass - albeit a rather limp one - came with my beer.

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## Loy Toy

> This is a cultural essay.





> The barmaid came with my beer.


I see the cultural stuff has started and in time for breakfast no less.  :Smile:

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## Kurgen

> A little perplexed at being given a rather chunky grey cup in which to sup the cider from, a local beer was ordered, the plan being if i got another cup to drink beer from that the cup would be shoved somewhere unpleasant.
> 
> The barmaid read my mind, and a glass - albeit a rather limp one - came with my beer.


So pissed you've already keeled over?

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## withnallstoke

Refreshed, a stroll around the countryside was in order.
A woodland route of about 6 km and all afternoon to do it in.

Each stranger that passed in the opposite direction gave me a smile and a "bonjour monsieur", unlike my previous recollections of walking in the countryside where all i recieved was a wide berth.

My feelings toward the locals was definately on the up, so i decided to join in their friendly greetings, which was a shame, as that resulted in the wide berth again.



Plenty of food to be had along the route.

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## withnallstoke

As much as i was enjoying the walk, i could hardly believe my eyes when i came across this signpost in the woods.



The mention of goats appealed to me, so i set off in the direction indicated.
By set off, i mean sprinted.

I subsequently believe there is a god.



"You aint seen me, right".



 :Smile:  :Smile:  :Smile:

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## withnallstoke

More to come.

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## somtamslap

You uploaded the goat vids onto Youporn yet?

 :Wank:

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## bobo746

> Looking forward to more pictures of pubs, bars and cobble stone alleyways.


dont forget the slags

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## somtamslap

> The scenery was eye pleasing. Lots of trees, some with the first flashes of Autumn colouring, gently rolling hills, copses, birds of prey and no Frenchies. So overcome with the sights and smells, i decided 40 minutes was long enough and pulled off the road in a pleasant looking little village for a beverage.


Nicely scribed, withnall.

Shame it's all padding.

"Why lie? I went to France to fuck goats."

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## withnallstoke

A fine first day was topped off by a fine meal.

When in France, eat well.

Steak and mushroom pie, thrice cooked in beef lard chips and sloppy peas.

(Picture out of focus).

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## beerlaodrinker

"You aint seen me, right".



 :Smile:  :Smile:  :Smile: [/QUOTE]hmm, that bloke legging it looks like he has just done something unspeakable with the barnyard animals,

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## withnallstoke

The following day got off to an interesting start.

Unsure of the lingo, this place looked like it may have been a warning.



As luck would have it, a once yearly fete was taking place nearby, a chance to go and mingle with village people.

So off to the "fete de buerre" - whatever that is.

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## withnallstoke

> You uploaded the goat vids onto Youporn yet?


Only available on a very expensive dvd.








> that bloke legging it looks like he has just done something unspeakable with the barnyard animals


See above reply.  :Smile:

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## somtamslap

> This is a cultural essay





> When in France, eat well.





> Steak and mushroom pie





> thrice cooked in beef lard chips





> sloppy peas.


Are you you didn't take a wrong turn and end up in Scunthorpe?

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## withnallstoke

Communial baking.

Apparently back in the day, the villagers all used the same oven.

This oven is the original one, and is heated using wood. The smell was very pleasing.





In the background there was music, being supplied by these folks playing Breton pipes, which gave a surreal soundtrack to my wanderings amongst the Frenchies.
A genial atmosphere indeed.

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## withnallstoke

_Continued later - taking an age to upload piccies._

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## Bogon

Great stuff. Been waiting for this!

Looks like this old chap has been carrying goats under his arms for too many years.

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## klong toey

Red sent for gong to France.
Guess Stoker's got a _béret now and a stick loaf where the sun don't shine.
Nice to hear from you again now get across the Channel to a Autumnal Blighty. 
_

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## pseudolus

> dont forget the slags


still waiting.... 

(goats don't count)

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## withnallstoke

A few shots of stuff at the fair.

It was a good morning, and just before 12, queues formed at the entrance to the food tent, so it was time to move on.

The more i saw of these folks, the more i liked, and the scenery and general feel of the place reminded me a lot of Cornwall or Wales.

Cider press.




Wool stuff.




Musicians.

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## withnallstoke

Blacksmith.

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## chassamui

> Wool stuff


You do spin a good yarn withers.

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## Bogon

^^ well, at least we got a picture of some French slag out of the way.

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## withnallstoke

> well, at least we got a picture of some French slag out of the way.







> You do spin a good yarn withers.

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## kingwilly

> Originally Posted by withnallstoke
> 
> This is a cultural essay
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Typical pom, goes overseas and orders Brit pub food.

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## david44

If you pop a few km South of the Huelgoat Lake Roche tremblante rocking stone on River Elizse you'll find Plouye and the ancient Bar Bistro 
Ti Elise run by mad Welshman Byn  a fine place for music and characters

Onwards Carhaix=Ploguer and the home of the Vieux Chrrues
Locrona its tromenie home of artiste Yves Tanguy 
Concarneua fine fishing Por
L'Orinet
Man lovely wild beaches and isle

Try a Lambic the local yadong often available unde rthe counter like arc in dodgy dives 

At St Pol de Leon first alley downhill from the Grnad Pace a wonderful bar with the sign 
"L'entree depend sur l'humeur du client" Admisson based on sobriety !

Ken nArvo 
Yech'Mad a handy phrase consonant with welsh Yaki Da or Up Yours/cheers

Byn is a ture eccentric a cross between myself and our mutal pal the mad Irishmonk of KP !

Tavarn Ty Elise

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tavar...y/275879070366

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## Tarquin Chucklefucc

looks very mellow over there.

good work

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## thaimeme

> looks very mellow over there.
> 
> good work


Secret Francophile, he is....

Don't tell anyone.

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## ltnt

Is this a visit to "retirement villages?"   :Smile:   All the locals appear to be geriatric?

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## nigelandjan

Good thread ,, some nice landscape pics to follow ?

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## withnallstoke

> looks very mellow over there.


It was.







> Secret Francophile


Au contraire mon ami.







> All the locals appear to be geriatric?


Strange that was.
It's not often i am one of the younger folks in a gathering.







> Good thread ,, some nice landscape pics to follow ?


Cheers Nige, but alas, no.

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## withnallstoke

> Typical pom, goes overseas and orders Brit pub food.


See where you are coming from there Wilson, perhaps i should explain.

The reason for going to Frogland was to visit an old friend and his missus who have lived in Brittany for a number of years.
He likes cooking, and knocked up a few different dishes during my brief stay.
Like myself, he is now an exiled Potter, so we reverted to type with lardy chips and sloppy peas.


Cheers for an excuse to post some piccs of the fine fettle served by my most gracious hosts :-


A glass or two before tea (not "lunch" - lunch is what faggits call tea).




The main event - beouf bourginon and dauphiniose potatoes.




^ Nicest beef in gravy and cheesy spuds i've ever tasted.  :Smile: 



A little selection of French cheeses and crudites.

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## chassamui

Them 'taters look reight good.

I would have put away most of that cheese board with some nice English water biscuits and digestives, washed down with a decent bottle of port.

Just as a matter of interest, how long did it take for you and your friends to finish that delightful repast? I am a big fan of eat, savour, enjoy and light banter.

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## withnallstoke

> Just as a matter of interest, how long did it take for you and your friends to finish that delightful repast? I am a big fan of eat, savour, enjoy and light banter.


2 days.  :rofl:

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## chassamui

> 2 days.


Twat  :Wink:

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## withnallstoke

A visit to the beach was agreed on, so parked up and walked down a pathway in the direction of the ENGLISH channel.
But behold, there appears to be an obstacle in the way.






Ignoring the sign, we made it to the beach.





Busy innit?
The reason soon became clear.

I spotted these and stopped my friends in their tracks.


"Don't go any further, the Krauts might have mined the bastard beach".

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## klong toey

Its always handy to have a pocket full of stones on a mined beach,fairly big stones.
Btw green sent for the bottle of cider.

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## withnallstoke

The locals obviousl haven't discovered that lizards are a delicacy.



One thing that struck me was that there were a lot of catholic churches scattered around, some quite pretty, others not so.

This was one of the prettier ones - Pleyben calvary.

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## Dillinger

> the Krauts might have mined the bastard beach"


Probably those damn Yankees




> Old US Bomb Forces to Evacuate More than 500 People in Brest, FrancePARIS, October 5 (RIA Novosti) - French authorities ordered the evacuation of 570 people on Sunday while the sappers disposed of an American WWII bomb in Brest, Agence France-Presse reported.
> The police said another 1.5 thousand people had been forced not to leave their homes for the duration of the operation, which had taken about forty-five minutes.
> The bomb was discovered three weeks earlier at the construction site, located in a former industrial area, where the local authorities plan to build new residential neighborhoods.
> During the World War II, about 30 thousand tons of bombs were dropped in the vicinity of Brest, some 20 percent of them never exploded.


Old US Bomb Forces to Evacuate More than 500 People in Brest, France | World | RIA Novosti





> A little selection of French cheeses and crudites.


Had to google that...




> Crudités are traditional French appetizers consisting of sliced or whole raw vegetables which are sometimes dipped in a vinaigrette or other dipping sauce


not like you to consume raw veg in that manner, mate :Smile:

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## withnallstoke

And so off to the ferry.

Stop off for a traditional Breton breakfast.

Fine cider and crepes.









Spotted this on the way - Krauts again!






Some gratuitous onion shots.

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## klong toey

Stop teasing me with bottles of cider. :Smile:

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## somtamslap

Those crepes look superb.

Quite frankly I'm callling a big 'Poofter' on the whole thread.

Anyone eating that much has surely been shirking their alcohol consumption responsibilities.

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## withnallstoke

And then onto the ferry from Roscoff back to Blighty (Plymouth).


In summary, a bloody lovely part of the world.
Anybody striving for independance from France is alright in my book.

As i stood having one last slash into the channel i thought of a base version of Pooh sticks.
Instead of sticks, i would piss into the water and see if i could beat my own piss molecules back to England on the ferry.
I would never know of course, but then another thought occurred.
If my own molecules of piss are connected to me, maybe the reason that i masturbate a lot is that those piss molecules somehow reach the inner thigh of some lady and thus cause a reaction erection.




Blighty looms in the darkness.




A photo of the first lights of England i spotted in the distance.
Standing eagerly on deck freezing my bollocks off and pissing my pants with excitement, i felt horribly let down when the first lights of Englands fair shore turned out to be a ferry coming the other way.
Back to the bar then for another one.

"Sorry sir, the bar is closed. We are now in English waters"

WELCOME HOME.  :Smile:

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## BaitongBoy

> A glass or two before tea (not "lunch" - lunch is what faggits call tea).


What are you saying here, withnall?...

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## withnallstoke

> Originally Posted by withnallstoke
> 
> A glass or two before tea (not "lunch" - lunch is what faggits call tea).
> 
> 
> What are you saying here, withnall?...



Fuck knows.

Did i mean dinner?

Yes, i meant dinner not lunch.

Faggits eat lunch at dinner time and dinner at tea time.   :kma:

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## somtamslap

Have to say...

It's one thing flying into one's motherland after a protracted stint away - but getting the ferry, particularly at night, and catching the first glimpses of flickering English lights, must have been absolutely fucking amazing.

But then I read this, and decided that the sentiment may not have been there...








> If my own molecules of piss are connected to me, maybe the reason that i masturbate a lot is that those piss molecules somehow reach the inner thigh of some lady and thus cause a reaction erection.


 :Smile:

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## withnallstoke

> It's one thing flying into one's motherland after a protracted stint away - but getting the ferry, particularly at night, and catching the first glimpses of flickering English lights, must have been absolutely fucking amazing.


Dunno.

I was having a row with the duty free bastards who were trying to explain that you can look but not buy.  :Smile:

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## withnallstoke

Anyroad up, little did i know at that point i would be returning to France and Brittany again a week later.

Needless to say, Blighty was not a sober event, resulting in my scuttling away in the fog early one Sunday morning.


Watch out for "Don't bonjour me again".

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## Mr Earl

Oh those cheeses and the cider...man... them be good. Good show.

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## Davis Knowlton

The cheese platter sent me downstairs in search of...................no luck. Settled for peanut butter and saltines.

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## Mr Earl

> Settled for peanut butter and saltines.


yuk...peanut butter, indigestible Jimmy Carter food!

good cheese is what I really miss living out here in the boonies.

Though some locals here have goats, it might not be too hard to contract someone th raise milk producing goats and make my own cheese. Goat cheese is one of the finest foods ever. France and Argentina are the places I've had exquisite goat cheeses. Probably because they don't have silly rules about pasteurization.

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## Davis Knowlton

^Got a great deli about an hour north of here, and we usually have lots of good cheese. Unfortunately, wife advised that deli day is tomorrow, and the icebox was bare.

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## Dillinger

^^ In the past, Urine was used in the cheese making process as a way to add vital chemicals to specific cheeses. :Smile:

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## withnallstoke

> Though some locals here have goats,


Where is it you live?

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## November Rain

> Oh those cheeses and the cider...man... them be good. Good show.





> The cheese platter sent me downstairs in search of...................no luck. Settled for peanut butter and saltines.


Must say, I might be tempted to commit a serous crime in order to chow down on a selection of cheeses like that. Yum!
Great thread Withnall  :Very Happy:

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## pseudolus

I love France. Those crepes? Yearn for them seeing that. The cheese board; sure I can replicate it no doubt here but the tastes and textures are never as good. It is a high consideration of ours to retire in France.

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## withnallstoke

> I love France. Those crepes


Isn't that creeps?

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## withnallstoke

> Great thread Withnall


Thanks.

I enjoyed doing it.

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## david44

> The locals obviousl haven't discovered that lizards are a delicacy.
> 
> 
> 
> One thing that struck me was that there were a lot of catholic churches scattered around, some quite pretty, others not so.
> 
> This was one of the prettier ones - Pleyben calvary.



Good pic excellent shabeen opp often gave a free lambic in 7am coffee as reward making  it in from nearby lennon

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## david44

Old Syoker called Tell Mann meself and assorted celts sang their and Cloitre St Thegonnec betides,maybe some good craic same musos do the circuit Locronan,Dournenz ,Quimper O Ceilidh behind level crossing superior to Poitin Still opp SNCF

Enjoy also some great countryside inland Redon Josselin  and my fave Chateaulin du Faou

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## chassamui

Tip of the day for when you return to France.

Do not speak German in a cheese shop. For some reason they don't like it.

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## david44

At Roscoff
Walk to L'Aber fie bar of Onion Johnnies ask if any Irish cubists in lately,got a free lift 30km from cops there one day during rail strikes !
The Trofontein 5km South aunte jan will wet yer whistle 
Digs in St Pol or better Carantec

There is much to enjoy in Haut Leon
Barnenez
The Wolf Museum
The Corrigans on the Monts D'Arret

Ask your hosts

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## withnallstoke

> Ask your hosts


Too bloody late owd.

Back in the Fon.

(_PS I have a few pics of old Burslem town, taken last wek)_

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## david44

Slap em up my dads digs the Foaming Quart long erased

Apparently its all continental Starfux and pavement cafes from nesh end to Cobridge where Soi 5 is bizzy as usual.

Can th download an owde roger wrights pie all wrapped up in an oatcake

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## patsycat

See, it wasn't too bad was it?

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## david44

> See, it wasn't too bad was it?


Finistere has the virtue of being as far as poss from the Swiss gmomes without emigrating to a TOMDOM, the lost Arthurian lands of Ys were the origin in Lyonesse said to be compared par Ys with Paris,of course it was Tiatha da Danae Greek myth and utter bollox

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## thaimeme

> ^^ In the past, Urine was used in the cheese making process as a way to add vital chemicals to specific cheeses.


Earl knows this...

It's all about acidity.

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## cdnski12

That's an American Sherman Tank. The US Army "Star" is on the side of the tank. Thank Bhudda you were not a UK Tank Gunner, on a Brest Beach in WW2!

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## Dillinger

^ :rofl:

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## Mr Earl

> Originally Posted by Mr Earl
> 
> Though some locals here have goats,
> 
> 
> Where is it you live?


In a village about 60 clicks south of Ranong.

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## Mr Earl

> Originally Posted by Dillinger
> 
> 
> ^^ In the past, Urine was used in the cheese making process as a way to add vital chemicals to specific cheeses.
> 
> 
> Earl knows this...
> 
> It's all about acidity.


Actually I didn't know about the cheese making.




> Cheese making
> 
> Although not a common practice, the addition of urine to cheese-making has been known to make a richer, more piquant cheese, highly sought after by those who've tasted it


http://www.thebirdman.org/Index/Othe...sesOfUrine.htm

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## BaitongBoy

> In a village about 60 clicks south of Ranong.


Lock up your goats...

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## chassamui

> That's an American Sherman Tank. The US Army "Star" is on the side of the tank. Thank Bhudda you were not a UK Tank Gunner, on a Brest Beach in WW2!


Maybe he is suggesting that the yeremans were responsible for the tank being abandoned there and therefore liable for any parking tickets.
Looking at pictures of Sherman tank wrecks the barrel seems to age along with the rest of the tank. In this picture, the barrel has either been replaced or refurbished.
This is one of the early versions, the M4A1. In total nearly 50,000 M4 vaiants were built at 11 different factories in the US, and they continued in service well into the cold war years. 
This tank with its missing tracks and road wheels looks a bit forlorn parked up by the roadside. Perhaps the French have left it as a reminder of the assistance given in their ultimate liberation?

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## withnallstoke

> Maybe he is suggesting that the yeremans were responsible for the tank being abandoned there and therefore liable for any parking tickets.


Quite.






> Perhaps the French have left it as a reminder of the assistance given in their ultimate liberation?


I was told that the tank was put there outside the house when the house was a museum. When the musuem was reconverted back to a dwelling the tank was left as a reminder.

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## ltnt

^Perhaps the barrel is pointing the direction to Berlin?  Frenchies had a difficult time with geography lessons during WWII.  Most having little difficulty finding the English Channel or a change to civilian clothes.

You won't find a lot of graveyards filled with Frenchmen who fought against the Germans during WWII now will you?  Plenty filled with English, American and Canadians however.  Nice having some other country take out the trash for you.

Why do they call it the "English Channel?"  Not the "French Channel No. 5?"

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## withnallstoke

French call it La Manche.

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## klong toey

> French call it La Manche.


Well show the idiots an atlas and ask the to read out what it says on that. :Smile:

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## Bogon

> French call it La Manche.


Thanks for sending me the link of where you learnt your French. Perfect! :Smile:

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## Mr Earl

> Originally Posted by Mr Earl
> 
> In a village about 60 clicks south of Ranong.
> 
> 
> Lock up your goats...


I thought Betty was Seoul, China.. somewhere...not in Siam

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