#  >  > Travellers Tales in Thailand and Asia >  >  > Vietnam, Nepal and Burma  Travel Forum >  >  Letter from Burma

## Simon43

Well, it's been a couple of weeks since I packed my bags and left Phuket for the delights of darkest Yangon, (or Rangoon, as us Brits fondly remember the colonial days).

My primary purpose for making this move is nothing to do with career advancement or the chance to pick up some nasty and exotic deseases from a nasty and exotic woman.  I am here on a mission to obtain an amateur radio licence...

As I've mentioned too many times, I like to struggle with the radio ether, when others would simply send an email.  What better challenge than to transmit from Burma, where the slightest hint of illegal or dubious activities can land you in the notorious Insein Prison (for the insane?), which is no doubt somewhat tougher than the ponsy, 5-star Bangkok Hilton.

In order to further my quest for this elusive radio licence, I was required to obtain employment in Yangon, since radio licences are only issued to holders of business visas.  I searched long and hard for the high-flying executive post that would pay 4 billion kyat per month - but in the end, I had to settle for the lowly position of English teacher.

And so I find myself at the grand old age of 53 years doing daily impressions of The Wiggles, as I seek to educate and entertain a classroom of 7 year old Burmese kids, most of whom look as weird as hell with their faces generously daubed with yellow Tanakha paste.

Luckily (or not), I am also required to teach adult students, which is actually less demanding than the kids.  (Young kids cannot hack 1 hour of teaching without getting bored - you have to liven things up every 10 minutes by singing 'Old MacDonald had a Burmese Farm'...)

I have enlisted the help of a fellow female teacher in my quest for getting the radio licence.  I suspect she thinks that I'm merely using the licence issue as an excuse for getting inside her pants, since surely no-one can be as daft as relocating to a foreign country just to satisfy the requirements to apply for this damn licence.

She and her friends suggested that I don't need the licence and just go ahead and start transmitting, which doubles my suspicion that she wants me off the scene pronto.

Last night, I sought out the comfort of a local lass.  Yangon doesn't have any go-go bars, (at least not public ones).  Instead, the 'ladies' put on a cattle show, where they parade up and down a catwalk whilst one of them sings terrible Burmese karaoke.  A more direct message of 'buy me and fcuk me' could not be given, but I have no wish for sloppy Burmese seconds...

The only saving grace so far in this rain-swept city is the cheap price of food and drink.  My average daily spend on breakfast, lunch, evening meal and beer is less than 200 baht.

The reliability of the electricity supply, internet, cable TV and water supply is alas, not good.  The only thing that I have found to be reliable so far is that it will piss down with rain for at least 10 hours every day...

Simon

----------


## Mid

> Letter from Burma


Keep 'em coming mate .  :Smile:

----------


## Simon43

I'll start to add some photos of this fine city...

----------


## Norton

Along with a few pics. Nice tale.

----------


## Norton

^^beat me too it. :Smile:

----------


## Thetyim

Start with the catwalk

----------


## Simon43

> Start with the catwalk


Welll, that was my plan, and so I ventured out into the pouring rain tonight for a bite to eat and a beer or two.

Since arriving in Yangon, I've had a streaming nose and cough, which suggests that the weather is too damn cold for me, being used to the sultry beaches of Phuket.  So tonight I set off in search of a fleece jacket.

The choice of attire was barren, and I had the choice of 1 fleece jacket for the pricely sum of 250 baht - a lurid green colour printed with skulls - the sort of thing your average 'innit' teenager would wear. Since most Burmese seem to have a poor choice of clothes sense, and since I really had no choice if I were to avoid pneumonia, I purchased the said item and made my way to the 'Cattle Club' for a bite to eat and a spot of frotterism with the local lasses.

Apparently, photography is banned in this upmarket establishment, (probably because the management fear that photos would scare off future potential punters).  So I will have to limit myself to describing the site of a 'large' lass singing a Burmese pop song whilst showing off thighs that Schwarzanegger (spelling?) would be proud off.

I can't say that I like Burmese music.  I very much enjoy Thai and Lao Morlam, but Burmese music is definitely closer to the sounds of the Indian sub-continent than Thai or Lao music.

Burmese girls don't seem to smile much.  I suppose they haven't got much to smile about really, after decades of military rule.

Now, as for the Burmese men, I have to say that with the exception of rough Scots guys, I really do not trust a man who wears a skirt.  And in the China Town area of Yangon where I live, perhaps 95% of the men wear skirts, or longyi - to use the local term.

Anyway, I had a rather solitary evening out, a plate of chicken and 2 good beers, and paid 70 baht for the bill.

Tomorrow, I have to teach adult English classes.  My students are keen to learn the language, but due to the lack of mother-tongue speakers, their current linguistic abilities totally murder our great English tongue.  Apparently I am a very popular teacher, because my clear accent surpasses the broad Scots accent of the previous teacher.

Eager to practice their new-found language skills, I've encouraged my students to hassle the foreign tourists who are to be found in increasing numbers at the beautiful Burmese pagodas in Yangon.  Therefore, if you are visiting Yangon and are accosted by a Burmese asking after your 'glandmother', please refrain from telling them to take a hike.  Engage them in some idle banter and compliment them on their English language skills.  This will undoubtedly lead to more sign-ups for my classes ==> more $$$ in my pocket

Simon

----------


## kingwilly

I love the longyi, comfortable and practical.

----------


## Albert Shagnastier

What a nutty adventure - rock on mate  :Smile: 

Is the broadcast license a labour of love or a financial gambit?

----------


## Mid

> Eager to practice their new-found language skills, I've encouraged my students to hassle the foreign tourists


Indo also utilised this trick , cica late 80's Ambon Island .

----------


## Simon43

Right - I finally sorted out browsing/uploading photos from my Linux OS laptop, (I use Puppy Linux on a thumb-drive cos I'm sick of Windows and sick of my hard disk fatally dying on a regular basis)

Anyway, back to Burma!  My current accommodation (which is provided by my school free of charge for 6 weeks until I find my own place to stay), is located in Latha Township, which is the China town of Yangon.  It's right next to the river and docks.

Here's the view from my window.  Looks rather like Havana or perhaps some fading French colonial suburb of Hanoi.



In this area, there are plenty of street markets, with fresh fruit and vegetables.



Unlike most of Yangon, trishaws abound here, mainly because there is not heavy car traffic



On this particular day - Monday - it's my day off from paid work (at the language school).  So my plan was to take the ferry across the river to Dala Township which lies opposite Yangon.

Here's the ferry, with a return ticket for foreigners charged at $2, as opposed to about $0.2 for the locals...



It takes only about 10 minutes for the ferry to cross over to Dala.  There are plans to build a bridge between Yangon and Dala, and Chinese businessmen have already bought up cheap land in Dala, in the hope of making a killing when land prices shoot up after the bridge is built.  But I reckon there are many more urgent issues right now to deal with than a new bridge to Dala.

Although Dala is only 10 minutes away from busy Yangon, the lack of a bridge means that it is mainly rural - and very poor.  This area was severally flooded when Cyclone Nargis hit a few years ago.  Most houses are built of wood or bamboo...

My purpose in visiting Dala was because I knew that there was an orphanage and monastery school in the village.  After getting help from some local kids who spoke a little English, I was led to the monastery.  There I found perhaps 150 local kids in the free school that was provided by the monks.  The children were aged between about 5-10 years old, and shit poor.  They were learning Burmese and also some written English.

Apart from tourists, I was the first foreigner to visit the school with the purpose of helping out.  After explaining about my paid teaching job, we all agreed that I would come and teach English on my day off for about 3 hours to the 150 kids (aaahhhh - I must be mad!!!).

So, as from next week, I will have ample opportunity to improve on my Wiggles impressions and ability to jump around the classroom like a complete nellie whilst trying to persuade the kids to speak English.

Joking aside - these kids were very friendly and desperate to learn spoken English, which could help them to create a viable income for their families in the future, especially as the number of foreign tourists increases.

(Of course, the ability to speak English could mean that some of these kids end up selling their bodies to foreign sex tourists and pedos...my work as a volunteer English teacher is but the first step in a 'master plan' to ensure that kids like these get a step-up in live AND do not need to resort to sex-work, (unless they are adults and make a free choice to do this).

Keeping on-topic, I also wanted to find accommodation in rural Dala so that I could enjoy my radio hobby without too much electrical interference.  Although there is simple accommodation for rent in the village, no-one will dare to rent it to a foreigner, because the locals are too scared of the local police to inform them that a foreigner is staying in their house...  So I guess one task next Monday is for me to go and visit the local police boss with some JW Black...

I'll add more photos to this thread soon....

Simon

----------


## Simon43

Today being the last day of the month, meant that it was payday.  Hurrah!!  But my dreams of wasting all my hard-earned cash on dirty women was tempered by the sobering fact that I had to send some money to my beloved in Thailand, to give to her 'brother', (only joking - I'm sure she is as good as gold - well as good as me anyway...)

But how to send her money?  As yet, Myanmar is still cut off from international banking. inasmuch as whilst it is now possible to wire funds from overseas to a Burmese bank account, it is still not possible to do this the other way round, from Myanmar to the outside world.

Luckily, there exists a network of 'underground' money transfer agents.  You simply hand them your money, pay a small commission fee, and your funds miraculously appear in the foreign bank account of your choice within a day or two.

This system has been operating for centuries and operates by trust.  (IE - You trust the money transfer agent to send your money as promised, and he trusts that you will break his legs if he doesn't)

Anyway, after asking around, I was given the address of a money transfer agent in Yangon, so off I went in a taxi, clutching my billions of Burmese kyat to send to the missus.

The agent was located in a pleasant house and the front door was wide open, so I walked straight in.

The following scenario reminded me of Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch...

3 people were in the room, clustered around a large currency counting machine, which was in the process of counting what looked like the entire GDP of Ethiopia, (or of Myanmar for that matter).  Strewn around the table were piles and piles of Burmese currency.

'Hi there' I announced in a cheerful voice, and the 3 characters ran behind the desk, looking guilty.  The money counting machine continued to hum away in mid-stream.

'Is this the money transfer office' I asked.

The 3 guys looked at me, looked at the piles of money on the desk, looked at the money counting machine.  The boss guy replied

'No, why do you think that?'

'Er...' I looked at all the money again.  The money counting machine seemed to be having an orgasm as it thumbed through the currency.

'My boss said you could help me send some money to Thailand.  My boss is xxxx'

At the mention of my boss's name, smiles broke out on the faces of these guys.

'Oh THAT money transfer service!!  Yes, that's us'

Anyway, smiles all around and they took my money and my wife's Thai bank account details, gave me a receipt, and promised that the funds would be deposited into her account the next day.  They even gave me their business card to give to all the other teachers at my workplace who might need to use their services.

All in all, a very good service, (well, my wife can make the final decision on that if and when the money arrives)

Simon

----------


## Mid

Hell of an adventure Simon , keep the updates coming  :Smile:

----------


## TizMe

Just out of interest... what does an English teacher earn in Burma?

What qualifications are required?

----------


## Butterfly

> Anyway, smiles all around and they took my money and my wife's Thai bank account details, gave me a receipt, and promised that the funds would be deposited into her account the next day. They even gave me their business card to give to all the other teachers at my workplace who might need to use their services.


makes you wonder why we event bother with SWIFT and other "routing agency"

drugs and money laundering could also explain why they have such an efficient system,

----------


## natalie8

Nice thread, Simon. Keep the stories and pics coming.

----------


## Simon43

@TizMe, well just because it's Burma doesn't mean that you can be a teacher without any qualifications, (well not at my international school anyway..).  Strange as it might seem for a hotel manager from Thailand, I not only possess a TEFL certificate, but an MSc and BSc from London University, plus several years of teaching experience, (I kept that lot quiet on these boards...).

Actually, the main issue about working in Yangon seems to be the lack of accommodation.  not only is it very expensive, but possible accommodation at cheaper rates is not rentable by foreigners because the owners are 'scared of what the police might do' - as they put it....

Salaries are a couple of thousand $ US per month, but I'm not here for the money.

Simon

----------


## Simon43

I ventured out in the rain again tonight in search of a business which offered wine, women and song, (well - beer, whores and karaoke actually).  I was in luck, and located a pleasant establishment with a roof garden, (which didn't really work in the rain but wtf).

My main requirement was a good Myanmar beer.

'Do you have beer?' I asked the doorman.

'Yes, number one beer, two women, free fcuk' he replied.

The free fcuk sounded of interest until I realised that he meant 'number 3 (after beer and women), is fcuk.

Anyway, the beer and food was good enough.  A large bottle of Myanmar Beer, two servings of chicken wings and an extra serving of french fries ==> 150 baht.

Since I was not yet in possession of condoms, I never got round to asking about the price of the women.  In any case, no-one spoke a word of English - not even me after the large beer, so pleasure time will have to wait a visit to the chemist for prophalactycs.....

Simon

----------


## khmen

Great thread Simon, really enjoying it! Keep it coming mate.  :Smile:  

I'm quite interested in visiting in the not too distant, so it's nice to hear how everday life is there from an expat rather than a tourists perspective.

----------


## Gerbil

> What qualifications are required?


Insanity?  :Smile:

----------


## Simon43

Some interesting events from last night - the following are true events, no porkies.

The following day (Thursday) is a public holiday in Myanmar - something to do with the full moon of the 14th Waso. Burmese measure time/months in Wasos - see here for info:

Festivals of Burma - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

So I decided not to go to bed early as is my norm, but to venture out to the cattle show at the ungodly hour of 9pm, (the bar/restaurant closes at 11.30pm).

On my previous visit, the food and drink was good enough, and the few girls who paraded on stage were pleasing to the eye.  

Tonight however, as I savoured a large bottle of cold Myanmar beer, I was in for a surprise.  At 9pm on the dot, a whole bevy of 'show-girls' began to arrive.  After counting 50 of them, I stopped counting.  Then the music started - Rock Lobster by the B52s (Burmese language version), followed by Jamaica Farewell by Jimmy Buffet, (Burmese version again).

The girls paraded on the stage and catwalk.  Some of them wore full-length and elegant Burmese dresses, others wore a similar style Chinese dress, other girls sported tiny hot pants or faded denim shorts, whilst others paraded in casual clothes, jeans and T-shirt. There were no bare boobs - all quite civilised.

How would I rate them?  Given my current forced celibate state for several years, (my wife doesn't do sex!), I would rate a mange-ridden sheep at a good 7, maybe an 8 if gumboots were supplied. These girls ranged from amateur and coy up to red-hot!  There was not one FAT girl amongst them and I bet they were all born as girls.  

Interesting for those who like a nice rack, (I'm not fussed myself), many girls had plenty of bosom, and I bet there wasn't any silicone within 200 metres of the catwalk.

The girls smiled at me and winked, and a discrete conversation with the bar-staff confirmed that they could offer after-hours entertainment...

(Of course, I was merely checking these facts to better understand the ins and outs of Burmese culture)

I ordered 2 servings of chicken wings, another large beer and some French fries, and settled down to watch the show, (I actually wanted to see what happened when the bar/restaurant closed at 11.30pm)

The girls' mamasan appeared beside me.  She, (actually I think it was once a he), was a dwarf, about 3 feet 6 inches tall.  (Isn't it strange how dwarfs seem to end up in positions of authority or power? I was thinking about the dwarf doorman on Sukhumvit Road, forgot the name of the bar...)

My instincts told me that to improve my chances of getting inside the girls' pants, I should befriend the dwarf mamasan, and so we chatted together, although he/she/it could only speak a little English.

'Wait' she said, 'I have to dance'.  and with those words, the stage and catwalk were cleared of the beauties, and this dwarf began to furiously dance alone on stage, whirring around like an out-of-control frisbee.  Imagine if you were in Rainbow Agogo, and the stage was cleared of the girls to allow a shrivelled dwarf to strut her stuff?  Totally weird!  But in order to further my cunning plan, I paid 100 baht for a waiter to put a length of Xmas tinsel around her neck.  Being a dwarf, this tinsel all but smothered her  :Smile: 

I had wondered what the girls would do between dances, and I very surprised to find that after a couple of dances, these girls would gather their belongings and all walk out of the bar, perhaps going to a similar and alternative establishment.  How this worked out financially for the girls was not clear to me.  Although I was assured that they could be bar-fined, I did not see one girl sitting with any of the Burmese guys, (perhaps I had unwittingly wandered into a gay bar???). BTW, I was the only foreigner in the bar.  

To further my suspicions on this, a sad, middle-aged man sidled up to me for some small talk.  It turned out that he was the keyboard player for the backing band.

'Beautiful girls' he said, waving his hand at the ladies on stage.

'Yes very nice' I replied.  (Actually - very nice was a severe understatement, and I could have happily banged any one (or two or three) of them right there and then on my table.

The man leaned forward and whispered 'I like Longmans'.

I wasn't too sure whether this was some covert Burmese phrase for uphill gardening, so I replied 'Ah, which girl is that then?'

'No, Longmans English, very nice dik'.

Now I was convinced that he was offering something pink and fleshy to me, so I stared at him, expressionless.

He leaned forward even more and whispered 'Of course, Oxford English Dictionary is also very good'

WTF!? - this guy wants to discuss the merits of English dictionarys whilst there is a parade of beautiful ladies within metres of us?  I guess that working as the keyboard player in a bar full of crumpet could get rather boring after a while.  I quite fancied one of the girls who was wearing tiny black pvc shorts, but still had a nagging doubt that her name could be Longmans and she was married to the keyboard player....

I had learnt enough for one night and paid the bill.  2 large bottles of beer, a coffee, a plate of french fries, 2 portions of chicken wings and an Xmas tinsel for the dwarf cost me a total of 300 baht!

On the floor below the bar was a massage establishment, and I went to check it out, and to have a massage.  It was a large place with many private rooms.  I was assured that it only offered genuine massage and no hanky-panky, but it just looked a little too seedy for me to believe that.  So I opted for 1 hour of massage for the price of 35 baht, (dear God, these prices are ridiculous - a teacher could live like a king).  The girl was pleasant enough, about 30 years old, spoke almost no English.  Her massage was very good since she walked up and down my body and back, (no heavy fat girls her...).  Since I had suffered a riding accident years ago, (fell off the damn horse), I very much enjoy a woman walking up and down my back.

I did attempt to 'up the ante' with her, but she declined.  Really strange that this massage place did not offer extras, especially since it was only 1 floor below the cattle show.

Finally, it was time for bed.  As I took the lift down to the ground floor, the lift guy asked if I needed a woman for the night. '19 years old, very nice, stay in your room until 7am' he offered.  Clearly it was not a problem to find paid company for the night.

And the price of this LT girl?, including the commission for the lift guy??  It could be had for the pricely sum of 750 baht....

Let me point out some obvious things here.  Most foreigners in Yangon go to entertainment venues favoured by expats, such as 50th Street and the like.  The typical ST rate for those girls is about 40,000 to 50,000 kyat, - about 1,500 to 2,000 baht (which makes it on a par with Thailand). The venues that I'm going to are for the local Burmese men, but these are not seedy places, large, many tables, well-lit and with a good sound system, - and the price difference (for girls, food and drink) is staggering  :Smile: 

And did I partake you ask?  Well ,not this time.  I had drunk too much beer and my room was some distance away.  I also was concerned that this local lasses might only be used to the Missionary position, as opposed to some of the sexual perversions that we foreigners, (well me anyway!), get up to in the bedroom.

and if I do partake - I won't tell you anyway  :Smile: 

Simon

----------


## khmen

Excellent mate, I'd green you again if I could.  :Smile:

----------


## Simon43

A useful tip for anyone visiting Burma from Thailand, and intending to have a hair cut with the electric clippers.  The numbering system to indicate shortness of cut is NOT the same as Thailand!  I asked for a number 4 cut (about 1cm at Thai barbers, and the Limp Wrist started to cut my hair as if I going to join the local monastery.

Take note - a Thai #4 clipper cut is equal to a Burmese #12 ...

----------


## Bettyboo

> but these are not seedy places


.......

----------


## Seekingasylum

Nice insights, well done.

The thing is, are you not a little concerned?

A foreigner enters a country where he has no known contacts and engages in redundant employment disconnected from his current profession which affords him little advancement and appears to have no ostensible purpose save the obtaining of a radio licence which again would have no resonance with the oriental mind seeking enlightenment. All this in a country which in effect has been a closed society enchained by a totalitarian regime for the past 30 years where paranoid thuggery defines their governance.

I wouldn't be too surprised to read about a British chap arrested on charges of suspected espionage in down town Yangon in the not too distant future...

Perhaps I'm just being a tad melodramatic but it wouldn't be that absurd given the nature of the place and your CV.

----------


## ltnt

Sounds like a great experience to me.  I cannot figure out the need to do short wave radio, but any excuse will do.  I thought at one point you were going to open another tourist trap across the water from Raynong?  This seems like a far better plan.  Do you actually have a "work visa,"?

----------


## Thetyim

> one point you were going to open another tourist trap across the water from Raynong?


IIRC he wants the radio license for the new establishment

----------


## Bettyboo

I'm with theGent, I reckon Simon is working for the CIA...

----------


## Simon43

I would love to build a small hotel opposite Ranong (at Kawthaung), but current foreign investment rules in Burma require me to put down $300k, which is a reasonable amount, but more than I currently have.

I did start to do my 'ham' radio from Kawthaung earlier this year whilst I was doing voluntary work in the town, (I got a radio licence from the local military commander).  But without a salary for my work, I could not get a work visa and I had little money to support myself.

So that's why I sought out and obtained paid employment in Yangon.  Now I have more than enough money to support myself, and my wife and ex have the incomes from their hotels.  But my move to Yangon meant that I had to re-apply for the radio licence and that's what I'm doing right now.

As you say, why bother with ham radio when you can send an email??  It's a techie sort of hobby really, rather old-fashioned in this modern age of Twitter and Facebook....

Simon

----------


## Simon43

A couple of 'street-life' photos that I took today:



Because of the lack of potable water in Yangon, shops often provide free water to passers-by.  I took this photo in the Indian area of China Town.



Most Burmese still do not own mobile phones, so it's a very common sight to see land-line phones which can be used by passers-by for a small fee. These are cordless phones, linked to the landline of the shop behind.

For international calls, it's best to use Skype or VOIP from an internet cafe, but sometimes the call quality is terrible.  I was pleasantly surprised today because I was able to make a video call via Skype to my wife in Phuket.  The sound and video quality was up and down, but meaningful conversation was still OK

Simon

----------


## Simon43

BTW - I mentioned the money transfer service between Burma and Thailand, which I used a few days ago to send 10,000 baht to the missus.

Exactly as described by the money agent in Yangon, my wife's Thai bank account was credited with 10,000 baht the very next day.  Excellent service and I'll use them again at the end of this month to send over some money.

I think that even when it's possible to do a money transfer via the banks, this unofficial transfer system will still be very popular because it is much cheaper than using a bank funds transfer service

----------


## porkhunt

Great reading and pics simon,how's the food other than the chicken and chips.

----------


## Marmite the Dog

Excellent tales - thanks for making the effort to write them. I tried to send a green, but I cannae.

----------


## Dillinger

Great thread Simon, a lot of which is truly worrying. A lot of funny stuff in there too. Be Safe and Keep it Coming. Good Luck

----------


## Simon43

> how's the food other than the chicken and chips


Good question, and I'll see if I can take some piccies of typical Burmese cuisine.
Fresh fruit and vegetables are no problem in my locality.  As can be seen from previous photos. there are plenty of local street markets, offering a huge selection of fruit such as bananas, pineapples, applies, jack-fruit, durian, papaya etc etc.

But Burmese cooked food seems very bland, nothing like Thai cuisine.  I tend to eat from street restaurants, (no food poisoning yet!).  The typical fare is rice or noodles with pork, chicken or beef.  It doesn't excite my taste buds at all.

In the tourist areas there is a good choice of restaurants which offer western foods at western prices...

I tend to stick to my 'beer diet', (which has worked for me for years).  Fresh fruit, fresh natural yoghurt - all washed down with a nice cold beer  :Smile: 

Simon

----------


## ltnt

> I think that even when it's possible to do a money transfer via the banks, this unofficial transfer system will still be very popular because it is much cheaper than using a bank funds transfer service


Simon, there must be a "black money," exchange there?  You may have already found it?  The conversion of foreign currencies could be quite lucrative?  It used to be very good here in Thailand, but now its almost even up.

----------


## Simon43

Today being Friday, is the worst day of my week.  It is the day when I have to teach twenty 4-year old kids for 3 hours.

I  cannot imagine a worse form of torture, (for me, not them). Imagine at my stately age of 53 years jumping up and down like Zebedee the spider as I play Simple Simon Says - made even more difficult because at this tender age the kids have very limited English language skills.  When I shout 'Touch your nose', the kids all look to their Burmese classroom assistant for a translation, which rather kills the spontanity of the game.

The kids are not the only person looking at the classroom assistant.  My roving eyes watch these two young women as they follow my every move, no doubt amazed at the agility of this old foreigner as he prances around the room like some demented idiot.

I must be careful to make sure my Simon Says does not match my thoughts about these women...

'Simon Says.... touch your breasts!! - Oh hang on that's not quite right is it??'

I'm reliably informed that all other sane teachers refused to work with this class because it is (apparently) too degrading.  Well I have no pride and the kids (and Burmese assistants) love it as well.   I realise that many (all?) women have a soft spot for a guy who is good with kids.  I've had plenty of practice (4 kids of my own and the dozens of 'hanger-on' family kids from my ex and her clan)

Now all I have to do is to offer private language lessons to these assistants at my condo and I'm sorted...

 :sexy:

----------


## ltnt

> Now all I have to do is to offer private language lessons to these assistants at my condo and I'm sorted...


You sure they're not government "Minders," watching you?  CIA suspect and all...

----------


## Simon43

> You sure they're not government "Minders," watching you?  CIA suspect and all


Quite possible - and I'm perfectly willing to submit to all manner of interrogation techniques that they might impose on me....

----------


## Simon43

One rather sobering aspect of working in Myanmar is that you start to understand how much the 'world' has passed the country by.

One of my classes is for adults who hope to go and study or work overseas, typically in Singapore or Australia.  Their command of spoken and written English is good, but their knowledge of topical subjects that we might take for granted is seriously lacking.

We chatted about banks and banking.  As I've mentioned before, there is as yet, no international banking system in Myanmar, but there are local banks.

I asked how many students in my class, (typically aged between 18-30 years), had a bank account. Not one of them had a bank account!  

'So where do you keep your money?' I asked.  'At home, we hide it' was a typical reply, or 'we carry all of it with us all the time'.

Since there are about 850 kyat to $1, you can imagine how large the wads of money are ...

My students explained that they don't trust banks, and Burmese banks did not offer any service that they wanted. 

'ATM cards? - what are those?'.  (ATM machines have started to appear in Yangon for use with local banks, and my students had seen these machines, but had no idea what they were for. 

'PIN codes?' 'Nah, what are those?'.  

'Online banking?' 'Huh??'

Whilst they all knew about the internet and FaceBook, their (justifiable) ignorance of banking and finance basics indicates that the country has a long way to go on it's redevelopment path.

----------


## Chairman Mao

^ Sounds good tbh.

----------


## Simon43

My lack of Burmese language skills is proving to be an obstacle in my efforts to make friends with the locals.  I had a meal this evening at the Cattle Club and paid for a few Xmas tinsels for the showgirls.  I was happy to buy them a drink, but my mind was on work for the next day.

These girls were about an 8, but the only English word that they possessed between them was 'OK', (which is also used in Burmese language anyway). 'What's your name?' produced blank looks. 'How old are you?' gave the same response. 'Do you take it up the jackse?' was no better.....

So I decided to forgo carnal pleasures for the night, because I could imagine sitting with a Burmese dictionary on my bed trying to locate the Burmese words for 'huge' , 'flacid' and 'premature'.

Anyway, the total bill tonight for 1 big beer, 1 french fries, 2 chicken wings, 2 expensive xmas tinsels and 2 lady drinks was under 750 baht.....

Simon

----------


## ENT

^ 55555  :Smile: 

Excellent stories Simon, really good.

I'd love another adventure in Burma, I did one up through Tachilek a couple of years ago on a visa run, but decided to stay a week or so longer. Bloody great fun. 

You've got me scheming again.   :Smile:

----------


## Simon43

I promised some more photos, so here we go.

BTW, to give you some idea of the effort required to post on TD, it took 7 minutes to fully load and display just one web-page of this thread.... the internet can be slow!

Today being Monday, I had arranged to teach for the first time at the monastery school in Dala Township, which is located just across the river from south Yangon, but which is very isolated and rural, since there is no connecting bridge.

I walked about 20 minutes from my condo to the passenger ferry terminal, and boarded the rusty old ferry for the short trip across the river.

Many people use this ferry to travel to and from Dala Township, especially to go to work in Yangon, or to bring produce to sell in the street markets.  On board the ferry I bought a snack for just 3.5 baht, which consisted of a large bread bun, spread with butter, then sprinkled with sugar and condensed milk.

When the ferry arrived in Dala, I slowly walked the 2km to the monastery where I was teaching.  This is not my paid teaching job, but an unpaid role that I had offered to do on my day off.  Why? Because although I had never been totally sh*t poor, my financial situation over the past couple of decades had swung from $ millionaire down to almost sh*t poor, then back up to very well off, then down to bugger all again, then up, then down, then up etc etc etc.  I appreciated how a little money or a little help from another person can make a huge difference when you really do have totally bugger all...  Call it Karma, stupidity, whatever you like  :Smile: 

In Dala Township, there is no government school, so the local monastery is used as a base for a primary school, which offers basic Burmese language education from about 5-10 years.  After that age, the children receive no more schooling, because there is nothing available.  (I met some of the older kids on the ferry who were 12 years old and selling cigarettes and chewing gum.  Their knowledge of English was quite good - from chatting with tourists - and their work is really the best option in the circumstances.

My 2km walk to the monastery was taken slowly.  Bear in mind that it was pissing down with rain (monsoon season), very very humid, the road was unpaved and flooded, and I was wearing smart trousers, shirt and tie.  (It would not be acceptable for a respected profession such as a teacher to go to work in jeans etc).  I had to resort to taking off my shoes and socks and rolling up my trousers!

Finally I reached the monastery, where a sign explains the purpose of the primary school.





The classrooms themselves have concrete floors and open windows.  There is no fan.... there was a blackboard and a whiteboard (the adjoining rooms only had black boards). In the corner was a clay jar with drinking water.  There were no chairs - the kids squat on the floor.  Apart from the kids' exercise books, there were no teachers' books, no libray books, no reading or maths books, no wall posters - absolutely nothing.




I met a couple of the kids outside, waiting for the class to begin.  The kids were able to say 'hello' in English, but even the older girl - about 11 years old - didn't know any other English words.  Like ,ost of the kids and women in this community, they all wore Tanakha on their faces.  Tanakha is a yellowish paste made from a tree bark which is applied to the face as both a sunscreen and as decoration.  Many of the girls sport Tanakha 'Mickey Mouse' noses  :Smile: 



These particular kids were too poor to afford the school uniform of white shirt and green shorts or skirt.

So finally I got to teach!  I had agreed to teach for about 2.5 hours every Monday.  This was my first day, and whilst I had visited the school the previous week to get a feel for everything, this was my first chance to see what I could do as a volunteer teacher.

Since I was the first ever foreign teacher that the school had had, the Burmese teachers ushered the complete school population into the room where I was.  There were maybe 100 kids all squashed into that room, sitting on the floor and ranging in age from 5 to about 10 years old.

I mentioned a few posts back about the challenge of teaching 4 year old kids in my paid work.  How do you think it was trying to teach 100 kids of different ages, all squashed into one room, with no fan, the rain coming through the open windows...?

I can only say that I was gobsmacked by the eagerness of these kids to learn some English.  I had brought a few educational posters with me, (alphabet, animal flash cards etc), and so I worked through these, encouraging the kids to say and spell out the English letters and words.  These kids hung onto my every word, chanting out the spelling of everything that I said and wrote.  (I was almost hoarse from having to speak loudly so that all the kids could here me).  The younger kids did their best to understand, but I will have to provide different levels of teaching for these younger ones, so that they get some value out of the class.

The noisy scene was made even more crazy when I spotted 2 very large American tourists just outside the classroom - brought there by a tour guide to see 'the poor kids', and snapping away with their telephoto lens cameras and videoing my performance.. (so watch out on You Tube for 'The Adventures of Teacher Simon').



Anyway, a great time was had by all, despite the shitty weather and the rotting dog that lay only metres from the classroom.  I'm back to my paid teaching tomorrow, but I will definitely be back in Dala next week to do my little bit to help these great kids  :Smile: 

Simon

----------


## Mid

awesome stuff Simon , 

_May the road rise up to meet you.
																				May the wind always be at your back.
																				May the sun shine warm upon your face,
																				and rains fall soft upon your fields._

----------


## BaitongBoy

Wonderful thread, Simon...they are very lucky to have you...and you, them...

----------


## robbo

great stuff, enjoying this heaps, keep it up Simon please

----------


## Simon43

> .. _and rains fall soft upon your fields.
> _


_

_Wrong there, it was absolutely pissing down with rain in my face  :Smile:

----------


## ltnt

Excellent decision to serve the kids in the orphanage.  Couldn't pay you for that I think.  Something you contributed to their day and their lives.  Next step?  Building plans?  Outpost S.W.?  I bet those kids would love using the S.W. with you?  It'd be like a giant step into the 50's. 1850's that is.

Be careful and be sure to do a parasite flush every now and then.

----------


## Simon43

@Itnt, sorry for being somewhat 'thick', but what is an Outpost S.W. ?

I have some long-term plans in Myanmar, but not actually at this monastery/orphanage.  I first need to get my radio ham licence sorted out, (and that is progressing well - my Burmese friends have spoken with the government department who have agreed to issue me with an import licence for my radio gear - then after they give it a quick once-over, they will then give me my ham licence, (and then arrest me....)

Simon

----------


## Yemen

Great thread Simon and keep up the good work with the kids. I have been to Burma three times and they can use all the help available. With my qualifications I was only able to help a few ladies after the sun went down.

----------


## ltnt

> Outpost S.W. ?


My coined name for your intended Short wave station in Burma.

----------


## Latindancer

> The classrooms themselves have concrete floors and open windows.  There is no fan.... there was a blackboard and a whiteboard (the adjoining rooms only had black boards). In the corner was a clay jar with drinking water.  There were no chairs - the kids squat on the floor.  Apart from the kids' exercise books, there were no teachers' books, no library books, no reading or maths books, no wall posters - absolutely nothing.


Good grief ! They must develop very rich imaginations.

----------


## Simon43

> Good grief ! They must develop very rich imaginations.


Well, I don't think it's their choice to have an empty classroom...  :Smile:

----------


## draco888

Interesting thread, apologies but i have probably missed the back story on this but why the need for a Burmese licence? they are not available in thailand?

----------


## draco888

there must be loads of decaying colonial buildings which would make for some great pics on this thread, hint hint... :Smile:

----------


## draco888

I heard via a friend that property there is already at BKK prices which i find difficult to believe but not sure what they bought or how ie via burmese company, foreign company, nominee etc. I suspect it was high end stuff so maybe there is basically very limited supply of acceptable quality stuff?

----------


## Simon43

@draco888, re the ham license - I already have a Thai one since 2004, but I'm interested in getting a Burmese ham license.

And about property prices.  Due to the high demand by business people and tourists, accommodation prices have gone crazy in Yangon.  A night in a decent hotel is between $250-$500.  A shit condo (like my condo) in a slum area is typically $350-$450 per month.....

On with my ramblings:

In order to enable me to converse in Burmese language at a very basic level with the youngest of the kids that I teach in the temple school, I got a Burmese friend to write out a few words and phrases that would be useful. (The Burmese teachers at the temple school do not speak any English at all...)

So I now know how to say 'What is your name?' and 'How old are you?' in Burmese, and the useful phrase 'Repeat after me, say it in English'. So these and other simple phrases will help me to get my message across to those kids who do not speak any English at all.

It occurred to me that these Burmese phrases might also be useful on my evenings out, and so I scrutinized my list of useful phrases to spot words and sentences I could put to good use at the Carnal Cattle Show.  Unfortunately, my Burmese crib sheet was penned by a woman, so try as I might, I was unable to locate the Burmese for 'How much for a quick jump at my place?'

'What is your name?' seems useful enough to start things off.  'How old are you' is another great chat-up line, but as I haven't yet learnt Burmese numbers higher than 10, I will be at a loss to understand her age...

'Can you sing with me?' could be an opportunity to secret ourselves in the darkest corner of the karaoke bar...

'What colour is this?' might be useful I suppose, but I don't know the Burmese for 'pink' and I have yet to learn the words for 'massive' or 'tiny'

'This is a ----' is another useful phrase, but I'm sure these women will have had plenty of previous experience at recognition of strange objects

'Repeat after me' might not get much use, since I'm normally completely shagged out after the first jump.

But knowing my stamina, the most practical phrase in my list of kids phrases has to be:

'Na dair chaing yow bi' ==> 'Time for a 5 minute break!'

Simon

----------


## Albert Shagnastier

> 'So where do you keep your money?' I asked. 'What fucking money!?' was a typical reply


There, fixed that for you  :Smile:

----------


## porkhunt

My hats off to you simon for teaching the kids,BUT,i'm sure there's gunna be a financial reward your'e looking for through all of this.
Just from reading your'e previous posts.

----------


## Simon43

> My hats off to you simon for teaching the kids,BUT,i'm sure there's gunna be a financial reward your'e looking for through all of this.


No, that is not the case, and certainly not from my voluntary work, that's for sure.  The only potential financial profit will come from my ham radio, whereby any ham who contacts me can ask for a confirmation postcard to be sent back to them.  It's usual for these people to pay about $3 via Paypal to cover postage and packaging costs etc.  

In my case, the cost will be $5, which is a very reasonable amount to pay.  So I will use $3 of this to pay for the envelope, stamps, postcard printing etc.  That means that I will have $2 profit from every ham who contacts me and requests a postcard.

So if I contact thousands of hams, I could potentially have lots of $2.....

But what will I do with these $2??  I will do exactly what I did in the same situation a few months ago when I worked as a voluntary teacher in south Myanmar - and that is to use these small donations to buy equipment and books for the kids at the poor school.

You can see photos of the supplies that I bought last time at:

QRZ.COM Callsign XZ1K

Bottom line is that as long as I have enough money to live on and to have a good time, then I would rather spend the money on others for whom just a small amount of money - ie $2 - can make a big difference.  (I am looked after by both wife and ex-wife with our small hotel businesses, so I'm not really concerned about being thrown out onto the streets in my old age)

Of course, there is a potential to make a lot of money from the numerous $2 donations.  How much would it cost to build a village school in Myanmar?  Howabout a kids home for abandoned or abused kids?  To build these and to cover the operating costs would not be a huge sum at all, and I know that radio hams all over the world would love to see their small donation being put to such good use.

Simon

PS - My voluntary work puts me in a 'good light' with the government department that will issue the ham licence, but that voluntary work will continue whether or not the licence is issued to me

----------


## ENT

You're smarter than the average touring hotelier/tefler/techno geek Simon43, and thumbs up for giving to the kids like that.    :Smile: 

Keep on trucking man.

Looking forward to more unofficial news about anything in Burma.

(PS. Have you scored a comely maiden yet?)

----------


## GRUMPY

Hi Simon. Great thread.

More pics please. I'd hate to see this thread get lost so I've subscribed.

----------


## Simon43

I will add more photos - and continue to do so - when the shitty weather makes it feasible to do so.  I took some photos yesterday, but the light level was too low and my camera lens was steamed up and wet...

On a similar theme to getting steamed up and wet, I finally figured out how to 'avail' myself of the local lasses.  The answer is to completely ignore the 'showgirls' in the clubs, because the bar simply doubles the price of the girl, and they (the girls), seem to have a shitty attitude anyway.

So go to the bars for a nice cold beer, watch the floor-show etc, but then walk outside the club and wander aimlessly around with an 'I am wandering aimlessly around and looking for a shag' expression on your face.

This expression transcends all language barriers, and a local chappie will rush to your rescue with mobile phone in hand, take your 'order', usher you into a taxi, and phone ahead to make sure that your order for 'cute and takes it up the jacksy' is correctly delivered.

One has of course to pay commission to the taxi driver, commission to the helpful chappie, commission to the mamasan who will appear from an anonymous building with your order, and of course payment for the lady herself and taxi fare.

Expensive? Half a night gulping down my order cost me a total of 800 baht.  I guess that the lady received about half of that, or 400 baht for a 19 year old that I would place at a 7 or 8.

Next time, I'll bypass all these commissions and order my takeaway directly  :Smile:

----------


## ltnt

^Life is good once you figure out the "lay of the land," so to speak?

----------


## Seekingasylum

Is your wife content with your whore mongering? Presumably, that is just another form of your philanthropy and nothing to do with the exploitation of a people so piss poor they are prepared to debase themselves for a pittance?

What price altruism, eh?

----------


## Simon43

TheGent - I penned a suitable reply to you, but then decided your pathetic comments did not justify me wasting my time - other to say that my wife fully accepts my lifestyle

----------


## ENT

And fair exchange is no robbery. Prostitution is the oldest trade in the world and ought to be legalised.

----------


## Simon43

Today I had my first real attempt at learning the Burmese language.  I don't mean 'emergency Burmese', but my first lesson at learning written and spoken Burmese.

Like Thai, Burmese is basically a lot of squiggles.... and if the day is Thursday and you are wearing blue underpants, then the pronounciation and writing of a particular word will change.

It's best to approach this with a completely open mind and to just accept what your teacher tells you.

In my case, knowing both Thai and Lao (spoken and written) to about an intermediate grade has certainly helped me so far.  I will have 2 two-hour lessons each week, so hope to make rapid progress.

----------


## ltnt

> then the pronounciation and writing of a particular word will change.


I thought that the Burmese written language was based on "Sanskrit?"

----------


## Simon43

It's yet raining today, so as I walked home from my school, I took a few photos.

As I haven't yet ventured into the central area of Yangon, there are still no photos of palatial, colonial buildings.



The unreliability of the electricity supply in Yangon is legendary.  It's either off, on, too high or too low, too little - but never too much.

In my China Town areas, there are whole side-streets dedicated to the manufacture, repair or sale of solar panels, 12 volt inverters, voltage stabilisers and generators - in fact any item which can help to squeeze that extra joule of energy from the meager supply.

Large Perkins and Cummins generators are to be found outside very shop and condo building - probably the only companies to benefit from the power outages.



Strategically placed at a perfect height for making violent contact with your forehead are large bulldog clips on strings, hanging outside every condo building.  These strings run up the outside of the building, up to each condo where a small bell is attached.  When the postman brings the mail, he clips it to the bulldog clip and pulls the string vigourously, thus alerting the condo owner to the presence of new mail.




In the China Town area, many of the houses date from the 1920s, built in colonial style with large wooden shutters.  Many of these houses are also used to sell goods, especially food, rice and spices.  The shop owners seem to mainly be Chinese-Burmese, and there are many shop signs in a Chinese language, (not sure which one), I hear older locals speaking in Chinese as I walk to work and these elder folk practice their 'stand on one leg and move very slowly' exercises as they listen to Chinese music.

----------


## Butterfly

> And about property prices. Due to the high demand by business people and tourists, accommodation prices have gone crazy in Yangon. A night in a decent hotel is between $250-$500. A shit condo (like my condo) in a slum area is typically $350-$450 per month.....


not unusual in third would countries, Saigon used to have nice apartments which costs are at par with Paris or even NY in some instances. When you are competing with diplomats and business men, there is no end to those costs.

----------


## Simon43

Itnt - I can't recall whether Burmese derives from Sanskrit or Pali, but I think you are right. My exaggerated comment concerning the change is pronouciation refers to the typical scenario where a group of letters is pronounced in 1 way, but changes if proceeded by letter x, and changes again if there's a letter y in there somewhere...

An open mind to accept that this situation exists seems to help with the learning process.

@TheGent




> incapable of controlling base instincts.


Wrong assumption - I am in full control of my base instincts  :Smile: 

Butterfly - the cost of accommodation is a real problem for lowly-paid teachers in Yangon, who are having to compete with the NGOs and businessmen.  My condo agent threw up her hands in horror when I named the maximum amount that I was prepared to pay.

Anyway, I will go and visit some condos on Monday, so if she has found something in my price-range, it probably has a few unwelcome guests of the rodent kind...

PS - Had a good laugh at work when one of my female adult English language students was writing about the public water supply, but continually referred to it as 'The Pubic Supply'  :Smile:   :Smile:

----------


## ltnt

I thought so.  Seems here in LOS only the monks can read it as all their scriptures are in Sanskrit.  Easy communications for the local Burmese when the go to visit the Wat on their day off.  the Wat seems to be the central focal point for the Burmese here.  Is it the same there?

I would only suggest that you look up the spelling "for rent."  Perhaps you'll get lucky and find one you can afford and in reasonable shape by chance.  Perhaps rent a taxi driver for the day and have him take you on a tour around the neighborhoods.  Never know what will turn up.

----------


## Simon43

Itnt - Buddhist is a popular religion in Burma, as is Islam, Hinduism etc for the sizeable minority religions.

Judging from the large number of novice monks and mair chees  (so young boys and girls), that I see collecting alms on the streets, (much more than in Thailand), the fact that a novice gets free board, lodging and basic education probably makes the religion popular.

----------


## draco888

great pics, love that chinese shop house style

----------


## Simon43

> Simon I see has chosen not to respond to the moral dilemmas...


I choose not to reply to a trollish and ignorant poster who jumps to conclusions without any knowledge of the real facts - a typical keyboard warrior...totally pathetic...

Keeping on-topic

When you visit a foreign country, what do you do?  Take a photo of your meal of course!



So here is my typical evening meal, eaten at a street restaurant (OK, 'restaurant' is rather an exaggeration').

note that those are not my arms, nor expensive wrist watch and gold ring.  They actually belong to my gay lover who has taken pity on my poor wretched and destitute circumstances...

There's a glass of hot Chinese tea on the left, (as much as one likes), a large bottle of cold Myanmar beer, a bowl of oxtail (or maybe dogstail) soup, and a bowl of chicken vermicelli in garlic sauce).

The yellow thing on the left is not a very long condom, but the plastic wrapping for my chop sticks  :Smile:  - I think

The cost is 52 baht for the beer and 21 baht for the food, soup and tea....

Very tasty too!

----------


## DrB0b

> I choose not to reply to a trollish and ignorant poster who jumps to conclusions without any knowledge of the real facts - a typical keyboard warrior...totally pathetic...


Good man. Please carry on with the thread, it's very enjoyable.

----------


## GRUMPY

Good onya Simon. Great thread

----------


## ENT

Keep on trucking  Simon. This is an interesting thread. Take no heed of the begrudgers. I've just redded the last one for obvious reasons.   :Smile:

----------


## ltnt

> 21 baht for the food, soup and tea....


Not bad.  What's for breakfast?

----------


## Albert Shagnastier

any idea what type of panel they commonly deal in and what sort of power they create and cost they sell them at per m/2?

----------


## Simon43

> Not bad.  What's for breakfast?


Yes good question!  Yangon seems very similar to Laos and Cambodia in that there is a wide selection of freshly baked breads.  Usually such delights indicates a French influence, so I'm not sure why bakeries abound here - but very glad for them as well.

In the morning, one can buy fresh bread from street sellers, but I usually sit down at a small bakery.  My breakfast consists of Chinese tea, Indian tea with milk and sugar, and 2 freshly baked vegetable samosas.  (Sorry, no photo yet).

I pay 450 kyat for my breakfast ==> 16 baht.

Of course, if you prefer Western food, bacon, egg etc - then this is available in those areas of the city that are frequented by foreign tourists and business people - but you will probably have to pay western prices...

Since arriving in Yangon just one month ago, I have only eaten food from street sellers and local shops - and (perhaps surprisingly), have yet to get the 'trots' or an upset stomach.  If you use your common-sense and only eat at stalls which are popular with the locals, then you'll minimize your risk of getting ill.

Albert - many shops sell large (2m x 1m) solar panels and associated voltage stabiliser etc.  I'll try to find out the typical cost.




> ...  The salacious peregrination ..... blah blah blah


Do you possess any other books apart from  your well-thumbed copy of the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary??

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> As I haven't yet ventured into the central area of Yangon, there are still no photos of palatial, colonial buildings.


There are only 2 and one has a tree growing out of one of it's towers.

----------


## WRB

Where have you gone Simon?

----------


## Albert Shagnastier

Yeah, got a price on those panels yet?

----------


## Benayahu

> Where have you gone Simon?


Agreed! Come back soon man as this  thread has turned out to be a real treat...Is great to follow your adventure there and almost feel a part of it ,particular now you have added some photos..

Waiting for your next install-ment ,like many others Id say  ::chitown:: 

MavenGuy

----------


## Simon43

Sorry - pressure of work has made it difficult to post for a few days.  I actually wrote a post that summarised my thoughts about Yangon after my first month here - and then my internet connection screwed up and I lost the post!!

So I'll redo that post and add some more.  I'm busy visiting some condos to find a permanent place to stay.  Many condo owners do not want to rent to foreigners because the owners are scared of potential hassles from the local police - I've just had one condo owner turn me down when he found out that I wasn't Burmese.

I'm off to see another condo tomorrow - I'll try to post again very soon - and with more photos.

Simon

----------


## Thetyim

> I've just had one condo owner turn me down when he found out that I wasn't Burmese.


Get a Burman to rent it for you

----------


## terry57

I am traveling to Yangon, Bagon and Mandalay for the first time in January 2013.

Never been there,  watching your thread.

----------


## Bower

Great thread Simon,keep it up.
PM me if you want the email address or phone number of the driver i have used in Rangoon for many years, he is a great guy.

----------


## bobo746

good thread mate keep us in formed

----------


## rawlins

Just read this thread from the start... It is an excellent read Simon and thanks for sharing all aspects of your stay there with us (apart from your secret agent stuff obviously).

You come across as a bit eccentric at times but a likeable one with some great stories to tell.

So what if you are doing a bit of whore-mongering?.... I certainly would be if I was there in your situation also. You have a wife that doesn't dish it out anyway so you have to play away when given the chance. 

Keep it up... Look forward to reading more.

----------


## Simon43

Right - let's see if I can manage another post!  The internet here in Yangon has been slower than a very slow snail since last week - it is taking about 10 minutes to load a single TD webpage...

As I previously posted, I've been very busy recently - both with work activities and with my apartment hunting.  It's also been raining day and night since last week, which makes it difficult to take any decent photos.  My leather shoes are beginning to disintegrate in this constant humidity and my clothes can never get dry after my washing them.

But here's an update from today Monday.

I've been able to maintain my schedule of teaching at the monastery school on my day off each week.  What started out as a rather chaotic enterprise is now settling down very well and I'm able to figure out the best learning schedule for the kids.

Every Monday morning I walk to the river ferry and take the short 15 minute ride across from Yangon to Dala Township, where the school is located.

Dala is low-lying and was severally flooded by Cyclone Nargis.  Today because it is raining, I take a trishaw bicycle from the ferry terminal in Dala to the monastery school, about 2km away.


Many of the houses in the area are constructed from bamboo or wood planks - you can see how low-lying the area is.

When I arrive at the school, the elderly monks look after me very well!. A boy is sent to bring me a chair to sit on while I wait for the classroom to be unlocked. Then I'm given a free breakfast of fat bananas, Chinese tea and sweets.



The kids who attend the school are very eager to learn to speak English from me, probably because my teaching methods are more fun than those of the local Burmese teachers, who patrol in my class and punish any child who fails to pay attention by either hitting them on the head with their knuckles, or by scaring them with a very flexible bamboo cane that the teacher whacks onto the table!

I've started to take weekly Burmese reading and writing lessons, so my language handouts now include some Burmese translations to help the younger kids to understand what I'm asking them in English.



So, lots of fun and the kids are beginning to speak a little (and useful) English  :Smile: 

After my teaching lesson, I made my way back across the river to view yet another apartment.  I am still trying to find a landlord who will accept a foreign tenant - it's very frustrating.

So here is the latest 5-star accommodation that I am assured will accept nasty whitey tenants.



The apartment is on the top floor of the building, to the right of the apartment that has a tree growing on it's balcony.

This street is located in the China Town area of Yangon, within walking distance of my school and also the ferry to Dala.

Here's a view of the palatial entrance of the apartment, as seen from the entrance hall.



Please note the sought-after features of rusty security bars, antiquated electrical switches and interesting green paint that is spotted with damp throughout.



You should also note the designer kitchen, featuring en-suite squat toilet on the left side, supplied with running rain water from a leaking ceiling at no extra charge.  (I think the cute maid is chargeable). The spacious cold shower that's also on the left side features a large and rusting tank that is no doubt tainted with pigeon droppings.

Of course the large windows are a particular feature of this property, especially because there is no glass in them and their view towards the distant neighbouring properties, (well, 2 metres distance) is particularly attractive.  The window area features a rare and large selection of black and brown moulds...

I'll spare you the photos of the bedroom and living area. But suffice to say that this $250 dollar/month apartment, (6 months rent in advance)m is a total shit-hole, and only a complete tramp with zero interest in basic human amenities would live in such a stinking fleapit.

So I should be moving in next week...

Unless the landlords decide that a Burmese tramp is better than Whitey Simon ....


The only good point is that it boasts a very rare feature - a telephone which is actually working, and which I should be able to use to apply for an ADSL internet service.

Simon

----------


## rawlins

^ How long are you planning to stay in that apartment? If I have read your story right you are just there until you can get your radio licence so I hope that comes through fairly soon.

I couldn't spend 6 months in there.

----------


## ltnt

Good job Simon.  I'm sure we've both lived in worse conditions?  Clean it up, sort out one's needs and make necessary mod.'s and it's paradise. It's not like you're going to be spending evenings entertaining.  Get a "house mouse," and the place will be spick and span in no time.  Mosquitos could be a problem, so netting is mandatory in this case.

Thanks for keeping your thread going.  I look forward to each installment.

----------


## Simon43

My plans are living/working in Burma are long-term.  After I get my radio licence, then I will continue to live here and to enjoy my radio hobby - and hopefully be able to save up some money for a good cause.  My wife and ex have shown that they are generally able to look after their hotel businesses - and it's right that they should not rely on me all the time.

Since I intend to stay longterm, I am learning to read and write Burmese, (just as I did previously with Thai).  So far so good - it is not too much of a challenge.

The apartment is OK for me - my wife would die on the spot if she lived there.  But as you say, a good clean-up, a coat of paint and it will be quite habitable.  I always use a full mosquito net over my bed and have yet to be troubled by them!

I'm at work right now - so I'll try to keep the photos and 'reports' flowing...

Simon

----------


## rawlins

^ Good stuff... 

Yeah... Lick of paint, bit of new furniture (IKEA Yangon opened yet?), few buckets strategically placed around the gaff.... Looking forward to your room improvement photos and best of luck... 

Any plans to pick up a Burmese wife and keep it hush from the Thai one?

----------


## BaitongBoy

Just saw on the news that Burma is "opening up the media" a little more, so this may bode well for you, Simon...Sounds like you are there at the right time...

----------


## terry57

I'd be banging in a hot water system straight up. 

Don't do cold water unless its top of the hot season.    :Confused: 

I imagine a little reno would cost piss all anyway. Dude needs some comforts.

----------


## Thetyim

> I'd be banging in a hot water system straight up.


I doubt the wiring would take it

----------


## taxexile

what sort of visa are you on, and are visas easy to come by and renew ?

----------


## terry57

> Originally Posted by terry57
> 
> I'd be banging in a hot water system straight up.
> 
> 
> I doubt the wiring would take it


If that's the case Id be getting a gas one and if that's too hard I'd get a large container and heat the water over a portable gas stove same as I do here when I go camping.

Whatever, I'd be getting my hot shower going.   :Smile:

----------


## Simon43

Actually I've almost got used to cold water showers!  I might wire in a small electric water heater, just to get the water to lukewarm, which would be fine for me.  But a large 3-4Kw instant heater will definitely blow the fuses - if there are any fuses to blow....

Taxexile, AFAIK, the only visas available for Burma right now are either short-term tourist visas, longer-term business/work visas, and possibly some sort of marriage visa if you are legally married to a Burmese.

Since I want to stay in Burma for a longterm basis, (to pursue my radio hobby and do some good cause volunteer work), the only recourse for me was to find a job and get a work visa. My visa lasts 70 days and I can do a visa run to BKK.  After about 2 renewals, I'm told that the Burmese immigration will provide me with a 1-year work visa.

But I have to stay in employment if I want to remain in Burma.  Hence my teaching job which pays reasonably well and is topped up by almost 100% by my private/overtime teaching.

Simon

----------


## Simon43

> Any plans to pick up a Burmese wife and keep it hush from the Thai one?


That is the very last thing on my mind  :Smile:

----------


## Albert Shagnastier

> sort out one's needs and make necessary mod.'s and it's paradise


simple correctness that

----------


## Gerbil

> Any plans to pick up a Burmese wife and keep it hush from the Thai one?
> 			
> 		
> 
> That is the very last thing on my mind



What? With your legendary success with women, you surprise me.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Albert Shagnastier

:Smile:

----------


## OhOh

Thanks for the life updates, keep them coming.You mentioned a phone line and the prospect of ADSL, what ADSL speeds are offered?

----------


## Simon43

> what ADSL speeds are offered?


Slow and even slower....

The problem is not really the speed of connection, but the size of the internet 'pipe' that connects Burma with the outside world.

This pipe is slightly smaller than the overflow pipe for my toilet, and hence the access speed to international websites can be excruiatingly slow - I sometimes get faster connection by tying a letter to a carrier pigeon's leg...

On other days, I can manage a shaky Skype call to my wife in Phuket.

YouTube is impossible to use - I have never even got a video clip to play...





> What? With your legendary success with women, you surprise me.


I am quite successful at filling their pockets with money, but not much else  :Smile: .  I think I'll steer clear of a Burmese wife, (although with my voluntary work and helping the kids etc, I'm getting plenty of women offering to iron my underwear - sorry too much information!

----------


## ltnt

Advice:  Steer clear of the female talk altogether as the sex Nazi's lurk everywhere. :Smile:

----------


## pattayardm

> YouTube is impossible to use - I have never even got a video clip to play...


You could try using video accelerator from speedbit - its a free program that speeds up youtube and some other online sites that stream videos. I have found it useful in the past when in places with a slow connection.

----------


## roamer

Hi

Great report.

Thanks for taking the time to post, I found it a fascinating read.

 :Smile:

----------


## pescator

I agree. Most fascinating read.

----------


## Mid

Hey Simon what is news ?

----------


## Marmite the Dog

> Hey Simon what is news ?


You should know. It's what you spend all day cutting & pasting.

----------


## Mid

fok you can be a tool marmite

news in relation to Simons thread aka Letter from Burma

----------


## cambtek

Love your work,simon.
I spent a few days in rangoon recently and I can almost taste it with your posts.We perused the night time attractions and there were some pretty girls but it was quite expensive.The girlsreceive a pittance and their minders take the rest.
I would love to come back to see the spitfires unearthed,go to bagan and orwells village in the north and also visit the mergui coast.

When I was young and had no sense in far off Mandalay
I lost my heart to a Burmese girl
As lovely as the day
Her skin was bronze
Her hair was jet
Her teeth were ivory
For twenty silver pieces
Maiden sleep with me
She looked at me
So pure so sweet
The loveliest thing alive
And in her lisping,virgin voice
Held out for 25

Eric Blair 
Burma 1924
The more things change,the more they stay the same.

----------


## OhOh

> For twenty silver pieces
> Maiden sleep with me


An ounce of silver is US$30 x 0.9ounces per piece of eight silver.

US$540 at today's prices, is that what they charge?

----------


## Chairman Mao

Any news from Simon, or has he been eaten?

----------


## Gerbil

^ Been a month.... Must have been eaten.  :Smile:

----------


## ltnt

He posted last week on a different thread.  Still in Burma and fighting the slow speed internet.  I think it was the so called Thai lady's thread if you're interested?

----------


## diverken

Great thread a real good read...thanks :Smile:

----------


## Khun Custard

> I'd be banging in a hot water system straight up.


Problem is Terry that Yangon has frequent blackouts - a walk down any street and you will see large diesel gensets at the ready.  
Yangon water is still pumped from the dam the Brits built at the turn of the century - the  power problems in pumping are only eclipsed by the water quality that falls well below WHO minimum standards.

----------


## Khun Custard

> Still in Burma and fighting the slow speed internet.


Might only be half the problem!
Back in the good old days it was said that 1 in every 10 was a paid direct report. 
Now with internet, if the message is not in basic Burmese or English sending  a message during the lunch hour or on a public holiday can often result in unexplained delays specially if it is in Chinese.
What about sending a fax -  err, they are still illegal
Send a SMS - well for a registered SIM the price was US$150 about this time last year and the cost of a call from Yangon to Thailand was more per minute than from the middle east (to Thailand)

----------


## Simon43

To update this thread, as some posters will know from my other recent postings, I'm no longer working in Myanamr.

I worked for a year, and during that period I pulled out all the stops to get the Ministry of Telecoms to issue me with a ham radio licence for Yangon, so that I could enjoy my radio hobby. 

Alas! All my efforts have been in vain (so far).  So with utter boredom threatening me on all sides, I declined my contract renewal and relocated to a new job in Laos, where ham radio is allowed and boredom is less of an issue than Myanmar.

Simon

----------


## KuhnKarl

> To update this thread, as some posters will know from my other recent postings, I'm no longer working in Myanamr.
> 
> I worked for a year, and during that period I pulled out all the stops to get the Ministry of Telecoms to issue me with a ham radio licence for Yangon, so that I could enjoy my radio hobby. 
> 
> Alas! All my efforts have been in vain (so far).  So with utter boredom threatening me on all sides, I declined my contract renewal and relocated to a new job in Laos, where ham radio is allowed and boredom is less of an issue than Myanmar.
> 
> Simon



To be honest, I haven't read all the pages of this thread yet.    But I will state, being a "ham" also...  sorry to learn you did not succeed.   Were you able to connect with any other amateurs during your year. 

And am I correct to assume you have a HS0 call?    So tell us about Laos.  

PM me if you want to chat about DX... :-)   or girls... both take a lot of understanding

----------


## CaptainNemo

> Since I intend to stay longterm, I am learning to read and write Burmese, (just as I did previously with Thai).  So far so good - it is not too much of a challenge.


We demand a phrasebook appropriate to the needs of the TD community.  :Very Happy: 

I've got a book on Burmese from the chap who teaches it at SOAS (he was in my dept at uni and gave me the original to proof it ages ago), he said it's not so bad if you've done Japanese, but the link with Thai and Lao is as non-existent as with Tagalog and Indonesian, which both used to share their own version of the same Indian-derived squiggles. It's closer to Tibetan and distantly to Chinese.

----------

