#  >  > Banal Banter >  >  > The TeakDoor Lounge >  >  > Famous Threads >  >  Another lockdown another commute

## Mendip

Well, I couldn’t call it another ‘post lockdown’ work commute because a year later we’re now in a strict lockdown in Korat with curfew, the lot... nothing 'post' about it. Who’d have thought things would get so much worse. Makes you wonder what things will be like a year from now.

  I wasn’t planning on doing another ‘work commute’ tread but have changed my mind. There may be some useful tips from my experiences of international travel during this awful pandemic, but I doubt it. The main reason I’m doing it again is that last time the thread seemed to generate some interest but mainly because it helped to keep me sane as quite simply, I enjoyed doing it. Life as a contractor away from home presents a lot of time to fill and what better way to keep yourself occupied than by writing a load of crap when you’re off shift.

  Around this time last year I left home once the Thai borders were opened, after spending the entire year in Korat, for a six week offshore trip in northern Norway. I eventually returned home in January this year after working for 6 months straight offshore Norway followed by onshore in Gothenburg, Sweden.

   How I would love to go back to 4 or 6 week rotations… it keeps the money trickling in and time away is short enough to keep in touch with the family and keep the daughter on the right track but not too long home to allow the missus to drive me mad. But that is just not feasible with quarantine restrictions and the difficulty of travel under Covid. These long trips are not fair on my daughter and to be honest they’re not fair on me… but Covid has turned this work upside down.

  So, this year’s commute is starting the same way as last year’s… I fly out from Bangkok on Monday night with the eventual destination of Kristiansund, on the west coast of northern Norway and not to be confused with the much milder Kristiansand on the south coast. My work itinerary starts with a 4 week trip offshore, followed by around 10 days off when I hope to pop back to the UK, visit my mum and also get my first Pfizer jab. After that there is around 8 weeks work in the Black Sea which will probably mean a mobilisation in Turkey, or maybe Malta, or maybe Gibraltar. We shall see… and all subject to change of course.

The current plan is to be back home in December and I’ve promised my daughter I’ll be back for Christmas… but that was maybe a bit rash and not a clever thing to do.

  I did have 3 to 4 months office work lined up in Haugesund, Norway which was a cushy number... interesting, easy office work and well paid… but Brexit and the impossibility of getting a work permit in time for onshore work in Norway put paid to that… after 30 years of hassle free Norwegian work. Thanks Boris you lying fucking wanker… how was Brexit for you?

  But I don’t want to be labelled a ‘remoaner’ so I’ll leave that topic be… but it pisses me off immensely to have to look for new sources of work in my 50s. I hope that all those retiree Brexit voters weren’t hypocritical enough to make full use of open borders and unrestricted access to European work during their working years. 

  Anyway, where was I… yes, so I hope to get back home to my daughter, the dogs and chickens… oh, and my darling wife by-mid December. I believe that the Thai PM promised Covid would be over in the next week or so and that the need for quarantine will end in October… so what can possibly go wrong. 

  The last few days have been unsettling as it’s not a nice feeling to leave the family for months on end, with no definite end date to look forward to. I guess this is the flip side of the indescribable feeling of returning home after six months away I had back in January. But I need to go and not only for the finances… my alcohol intake has risen sharply the last few weeks and this will break the cycle. I need to get stimulated. Many years ago if I had six months off work I would maybe spend it on a tropical island or travel around some new exciting places… but what will I say when people ask me what I’ve done since January? I’ll say that I built a silly jetty and cleaned out my bladdy garden pond… that’s what I’ll say.

  Oh, and I also lost 12 – 8 in the Monopoly series against my daughter… but I did manage to lose a fair bit of weight… and then put it all back on again. Apart from my left big toe of course… that remains a bit lighter.

So last night was my last night and I spent it with the gang.



Dan always gets special attention because at nearly 15 I never know if I'll be seeing her again when I go away on a long trip.



Earlier I'd said my goodbyes to Anna and Vigo... Vigo has lost a lot of weight and I worry I'll never see him again. He's onbiously sick... I've got him on anti-biotics but have run out of time to sort anything out.



It was a nice evening and I didn't even mind that Maya and Coco were still determined to ruin my 'reed bed'. These things don't matter once you're leaving and have no control.



But as nice as it was... I was in a reflective mood and my mind was elsewhere. Once you're leaving you just need to get going. The transition period is awful.



But I couldn't help noticing that wherever I was, Dan followed me about and wouldn't leave my right big toe nail alone.



Eventually we went in so I could finish up my final dinner of spare ribs with potato salad and sweetcorn... but Dan was right there with me... licking that toe.



We sat down to eat our final meal together for quite a few weeks...



... I looked down and there was Maya... licking my right big toe. Something is going on here and I'm getting worried. I thought it was getting better... I don't need this on the eve of travel for many weeks offshore.

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## nidhogg

I can only speak for myself Mendip, but love your travel threads, and looking forward to the next one.

Understand going away is a big wrench for you.

Happy, safe and lucrative travels mate.

Bon voyage.

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## HuangLao

Bound to happen.

Looking forward to another stimulating commuting/working thread, Mendy. 
It'll be a struggle especially these days.
Finish quickly and get home. 

Best to ya!
 :Smile:

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## bsnub

> I can only speak for myself Mendip, but love your travel threads, and looking forward to the next one.


Count me in! I love Mendys travel threads.

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## Mendip

^ Thanks guys!



We've been here before!

But last time it was only 5 dogs... I wonder how many it'll be next year?



 I booked a taxi yesterday for 2000 Baht to Bangkok… a great price, particularly when I’m in the habit of putting in a receipt for 4000 Baht, a more usual price. Last year I remember taking a bus down to Bangkok at the start of my work commute but no buses are currently running due to lockdown. Korat is dark red, same as Bangkok and interprovincial travel is restricted. Police road blocks were expected and I had a printout of my flights to hopefully allow transit in case of any problems.

  The taxi driver called this morning to say she’d soon be arriving… yes… a she. This worried me slightly, but after the daughter opened the gate...



 ... the driver had no problem reversing in and my concerns were somewhat allayed.



No more putting it off... it was time to leave.



  I soon found out why it was 2000 Baht. As a Covid measure a Perspex screen had been permanently installed behind the front seats and secured with silicone sealant. This meant that my passenger front seat wouldn’t go back… and it also meant that the back of the cab had no aircon as this Perspex screen made an airtight seal. I went with the cooler front seat option to start with, and at 10:30am on Saturday 21st August my commute started.




  I was so tightly wedged in the front seat that my back had already started to seize up by the time we hit Korat city centre, about 15 minutes later. This was my pond injury coming back to haunt me and wasn’t a great start to my journey. 

I struggled on for another half hour before getting ‘_Mott Daeng_’ (the driver) to pull over so that I could transfer to the back. It was hot, but with the windows down it was bearable.



But at '_Mott Deang's_' several toilet stops I took the opportunity to get out for a stretch... there was just no leg room. I guess this was preparing me for my first long haul flight for many months on Monday evening.



All said and done I was delivered safely to my Bangkok hotel, albeit a bit sweaty and stiff.

There wasn't a single police road block on Mittraparp Road (Highway 2) between Korat and Bangkok and traffic was busy. I wonder how well interprovincial travel is being restricted in reality.

  I have a Saturday evening to shake off home life and mentally prepare for the big wide world and then Sunday, a day of rest.

  It all starts on Monday with a 7:30am PCR test (Norway demands a negative test taken within 24 hours of departure) which will kick off one awful day… but at least I’ll be getting paid for it… my first income since January.

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## bsnub

> All said and done I was delivered safely to my Bangkok hotel, albeit a bit sweaty and stiff.


Good god I am 190 cm tall I could not have even fit in that car.

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## Stumpy

Cheers Mendy.  Your daily reports are funny and entertaining. As you know we are about to return back  home to Thailand. First stop... the 14 day quarantine sentence, then the 9hr van ride to the house then register at our local govt office that I am back and then 14 day self quarantine because I traveled from a deep red zone to a red zone.  But I will be home and can relax at my pool bar with my dogs begging for snacks, enjoy my sports games and watch the tortoises fight.

I will say after this trip there will be no more international travel for me until there is some stability with Covid controls. The uncertainty of airline travel is really stressful. It's just not worth it and besides, everywhere you go the rules are always changing. As you said, here we are a year later and it's worse when most believed it would be gone so what lies ahead is really unknown.  The good thing from all the grief of traveling here to the states is my wife and I got fully vaccinated with Moderna so we do not have to do the Chinese crap. 

Good luck and be safe.

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## Saint Willy

Safe travels mendy

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## Mendip

^^ Thanks JP!

To be honest I found my 15 days ASQ a doddle and would go as far to say it was almost enjoyable... but I served my time alone and couldn't imagine doing it with the wife.

In fact, after so many months of fairly clean living at work followed by 2 dry weeks in quarantine I arrived home fairly fit and healthy.

After 7 months at home 'on leave' I'm returning to work a complete wreck.

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## Saint Willy

> After 7 months at home 'on leave' I'm returning to work a complete wreck.


 you know you could just…. ah never mind.

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## Stumpy

> To be honest I found my 15 days ASQ a doddle and would go as far to say it was almost enjoyable.


Well I do not fair well be told what to do and how to do it and am way to hyper active to be stuck in a room. I need to be outside doing something so 14 days in a room eating box prepped food, having swabs jammed up my nose every few days and chaperoned walks will be extremely tough for me




> but I served my time alone and couldn't imagine doing it with the wife.


I actually very much enjoy my wife's company and it will make the lock down way easier and we will have plenty of uninterrupted private time.  :Smile: 

That said I really owe my wife a lot.  She is the one who has handled all the return travel docs the constant airfare updates and changes and the ASQ booking. I have no patience for that stuff.

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## Mendip

> Good god I am 190 cm tall I could not have even fit in that car.


Just curious... I always thought you Americans were Imperial for this stuff? I'm 185cm but always prefer to say 6', unless at work and surrounded by continentals, or pretty much anywhere else I've been outside of the UK.

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## Iceman123

> We sat down to eat our final meal together for quite a few weeks...


Her with her IPad and me with my laptop
 ::spin::

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## Mendip

^ And in front of the telly...

Can't say I'm proud about that.

But we had just spent an hour together by the pond!

(on our phones.. )

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## Saint Willy

You should set up a Roblox account and you could chat everyday while playing

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## Looper

Safe travels Mendip.

Good to be on voyaje instead of waiting in limbo.

The dogs are gonna miss you.

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## dirk diggler

Safe travels Mendip. 

RE Interprovincial travel, my mate got out of quarantine in Pattaya the other day, got a taxi to Bangkok, bought a motorbike and rode it all the way to songkhla without being stopped once. Only 1 roadblock at NST and he cruised straight through it. 

3 weeks ago we only got stopped twice from Songkhla all the way to Udon Thani. 

We even stopped in Korat for a night. Looked like it would have been a good place to stop in normal times.

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## Loy Toy

God speed mate and I hope your itinerary works out as planned and you return home by clistmutt.

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## headhunter

good luck mendip stay safe.your dogs,daughter and wife will miss you,remember this mate,WHITE LIGHTNING 8% [frosty jack] murder in a can, tell the wife to go to korat chef and get some before he has to throw it down the drain.
taff.

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## Backspin

::chitown:: Have a good hitch.

Just curious what kind of flights you take on these tours. Direct from BKK to Kristiansund ? Do you get some recovery time for the jet lag ?

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## helge

> Good god I am 190 cm tall


We call that 190 cm ..low, in Scandinavia.  :Smile: 

Welcome back to civilisation, Mendus

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## lom

Wish you a good ride Mendip!

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## lom

> We call that 190 cm ..low, in Scandinavia.


I was once known by the nickname "minus three"  :Smile:

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## helge

> I was once known by the nickname "minus three"


Let's keep dick size out of this 


 :bananaman:

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## Buckaroo Banzai

Good luck and stay safe, I will miss you pond thread.
I know you will miss your family, dogs and home, but a few months away always helped recharge my batteries, and made me appreciate them  more when I got back to them. I am now retired for almost two years and I am starting to miss work. 
I look forward to hearing about your new challenges and your triumphant return   home after a few months of work.

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## naptownmike

Have a safe trip.

I'm looking forward to following along.

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## helge

> I am starting to miss work.


I could do with a gardener 

?

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## cyrille

> I will miss you pond thread.


He’s doubtless been called worse, but…

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## baldrick

> Just curious what kind of flights you take on these tours. Direct from BKK to Kristiansund ?


it is a private jet 

with willing women and cocaine 

and cider on tap

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## bsnub

> Just curious... I always thought you Americans were Imperial for this stuff? I'm 185cm but always prefer to say 6', unless at work and surrounded by continentals, or pretty much anywhere else I've been outside of the UK.


We do. I am 6'3" tall. I just converted it to cm because I figured that is what most here use.

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## Klondyke

> it is a private jet 
> 
> with willing women and cocaine 
> 
> and cider on tap


And with few good friends who rather do not want to be on the flight record...

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## Joe 90

Have a good trip Mendip.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that cal...

All the best.

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## panama hat

Safe travels . . . gute Reise, Mandip.

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## Buckaroo Banzai

> I could do with a gardener 
> 
> ?


I miss my work, not any work LOL, But if you want me to come over and kill your plants ? How much does it pay?

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## Mendip

Well, thanks for all the good wishes. 

Leaving home when on regular short work rotations is easy, almost mundane. But leaving home for an unknown length of time, probably several months, after 7 months at home isn't easy... even after doing this shit for 30 years. Covid has made this work extremely trying and I worry about the next few years... I need another 10 out of this industry before I can consider hanging up my geological hammer. I don't think it's gonna be so easy.





> Just curious what kind of flights you take on these tours. Direct from BKK to Kristiansund ? Do you get some recovery time for the jet lag ?


The itinerary is BKK - FRA - OSL - KSU... nothing direct...





> it is a private jet 
> 
> with willing women and cocaine 
> 
> and cider on tap


See above... no private jet, those days are long gone for us geologists.





> And with few good friends who rather do not want to be on the flight record...


As mentioned, those days are long gone!





> Safe travels . . . gute Reise, Mandip.


Yes, Gute Reise indeed PH... I'll be passing through Frankfurt enroute.

I was restricted to night flights to comply with the stringent PCR test time allowance to enter Norway, so KLM was out. I was expecting Qatar so these Lufthansa flights to Oslo were a surprise. Germany has recently dropped Covid restrictions for transit passengers so I think that may have been the reason.

All said and done... there is little to enjoy about flying these days whichever airline you use but I've always found Lufthansa to be quite OK.

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## Mendip

It's eerily quiet in Bangkok... here was Sukhumvit Road last night at 9:20pm... deserted and with an empty BTS train overhead.



I had to go out search for food to go with my couple of bottles of Leo and last few tots of Hong Thong.

I found my favourite... a larb moo with some accompaniments. The food will hopefully last through Sunday as I plan to absolutely nothing... it all starts on Monday, the day from hell.



  I’d been waiting all week for my flight details and they finally arrived late on Friday evening… I sometimes wonder if these Norwegian companies appreciate the difficulties of travel outside of Scandinavia during Covid, or even if they appreciate that there are time zones.

 I had to wait for the flight details before I could book a PCR test and for days had been urging the company to send me details since the Covid testing facilities are currently so busy in Thailand. I had told them that it had to be a night flight, the only way to get results within 24 hours of departure (Norway's regulations) and luckily they took note of that, but by the time I knew I was to fly out on Monday night, all available slots for same day turnaround were taken on Monday at Bumrungrad, Samitivej and Sukhumvit Hospitals. Samitivej was fully booked for the entire week. International travel has become so difficult now and these companies really need to adapt and give ample time for people to organise this stuff... instead of flying you at the last minute to save paying an extra day rate, etc etc.



  Just as it was looking as though this work could fall through at the first hurdle I called Bangkok Hospital at Watthana and they had available express PCR testing on Monday, which should turn around the results in 6 to 8 hours. This means a PCR test at 7:30 am and if negative, I can hopefully pick up the certificate on the way to the airport in the evening. It costs 5500 Baht but I’ll get that back on expenses.

If it's a positive test result of course this thread will come to an abrupt halt.

In case anyone is in a similar situation, Bangkok Hospital: Tel. 02 310 3000

It's a real pain having to get up at 6am on the day of a night flight because I'll never get any more sleep during the day... I just can't seem to do that any more. It will also be a real pain heading off to the Bangkok Hospital with my bags to pick up the test certificate, and then to head directly to the airport. I'll have to arrive hours before my flight because of the 9pm curfew... I've been told many taxis won't pick you up early evening for fear of breaking the curfew. 

But that's Covid for you... I'm already looking forward to finally sitting on my seat on that Lufthansa plane, even if it will just be the start of my journey.

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## Klondyke

> As mentioned, those days are long gone!


Never say never...

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## panama hat

> As mentioned, those days are long gone!





> Never say never...


Umm . . . he didn't.  :Smile:

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## happynz

It'll all work out. I recently did CHC - AKL - BNE - DOH - DMM. Fortunately on the AKL to  DOH legs the plane was only about a quarter full, so being able to stretch out was a pleasant bonus. Only downside was Qatar Airways food is pretty bad, even for airline food. Speaking of airline food, Lufthansa, which I flew out of Saudi earlier this year, had decent enough grub. You should be well fed and watered on the German airline.

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## Saint Willy

> I'm already looking forward to finally sitting on my seat on that Lufthansa plane, even if it will just be the start of my journey.
> Reply    Reply With Quote



I can imagine, because at least it’s then done! Up to the pilots!

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## PAG

I don't envy you in the slightest Mendy.   Having spent many years on rotation to mainly inhospitable places with transits of varying degrees of angst.   I sometimes reflect on what I'd do were I still working during these times, though I'd undoubtable rather be stuck on the job and continuing to earn rather than being stuck at home.   Look forward to your tales and insights.

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## Mendip

^ Yeah I agree PAG... but a young daughter changes all of that. I have to be fair... and she won't stay young forever.

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## Mendip

> It'll all work out. I recently did CHC - AKL - BNE - DOH - DMM. Fortunately on the AKL to  DOH legs the plane was only about a quarter full, so being able to stretch out was a pleasant bonus. Only downside was Qatar Airways food is pretty bad, even for airline food. Speaking of airline food, Lufthansa, which I flew out of Saudi earlier this year, had decent enough grub. You should be well fed and watered on the German airline.


I agree HNZ... I've always thought Qatar's claim to be the only '5 Star Airline' to be vastly over-inflated.

But do they have metal cutlery?  It's been a few years since I've flown Lufthansa and I really hope for a new spoon for my collection.... but most European airlines have now gone plastic. 

I'll find out Monday evening... I guess it's these small things that keep international travel interesting.

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## lom

> But do they have metal cutlery?


Are you flying business or cattle class? Business is probably plastic free.

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## Mendip

Cattle all the way mate.

Business has long gone for us contractors. As has private jets.

Tbh I'm still hopefull of a spoon out of Lufthansa... German engineering and all that.

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## panama hat

> Tbh I'm still hopefull of a spoon out of Lufthansa... German engineering and all that.


My people thank you for flying Lufthansa and will try to get you your cutlery.  :Smile:

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## dirk diggler

Unfortunately, you will have had better leg room in your taxi to Bangkok than you will on your Lufthansa flight.

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## Headworx

Safe travels Mendip, look forward to reading your upcoming adventures and I hope you find that golden rivet this time.

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## Happy As Larry

> I'm already looking forward to finally sitting on my seat on that Lufthansa plane.


Yes, I agree, especially if it was long haul. It was the one place no one could bother me (the days before phones on planes) - a few cocktails, a bite to eat and a sleep. Otherwise it seemed like I was on constant 24 hour call.
However those days are well and truly over and I don't miss them.

I certainly don't envy you flying around the world these days.

Good luck and safe travels

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## Mendip

^ I don't envy myself either, tbh.

On Tuesday afternoon, if all goes to plan, I should be checking into a Kristiansund hotel for the night.

I already know the weather will be cold and windy, but I also know that there will be a cold Norwegian receptionist at the hotel to check me into my my cold, sterile, 18 square meter room with two single beds pushed up against one another, with a host of modern 'Memes' posted on the bathroom wall telling me about the need to be environmentally conscious.

You see if I'm not wrong.

Compare that to my Bangkok hotel room... 

If I checked into a room in Norway and said I had a bad toe that needed attention they would laugh (frown) at me. In Thailand, no problem.

And you also get a bell boy in Thailand to carry your bags to the rooms... try asking for that in Scandinavia!

Sorry Snubby for the graphic pics... but I'm better now! And it was all on the hotel!



I guess this is one of the reasons I will never move back to the West.

Good to go... try getting that sorted in Norway!

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## malmomike77

^ you may loose more than one nail i think.

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## Mendip

Yeah, something's afoot!

 :Smile:

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## lom

> I also know that there will be a cold Norwegian receptionist at the hotel to check me into my my cold, sterile, 18 square meter room with two single beds pushed up against one another, with a host of modern 'Memes' posted on the bathroom wall telling me about the need to be environmentally conscious.


Must be higher class than your student room in Gothenburg.  :Smile:

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## Mandaloopy

Hope the trip and work go well!

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## Saint Willy

> Must be higher class than your student room in Gothenburg.



That was grim.

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## Mendip

^ But as with anything else, the time soon passes and then it's done... and the money was ok.

Many years ago my mentor ( I guess) said to me to always take the work offered, and not hold out for something better. This was the best advice I ever had... why hold out for an extra 50 quid a day and then get nothing?

A year of waiting with no work soon makes that a mug's game.

Take the work and stay busy and stay current.

(within reason)

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## Saint Willy

True enough!

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## Stumpy

Man o Man Mendy.  Crazy times.  We are on last week here in California.  I just had a Covid test 4 days ago for my Daughters wedding that just passed and will have another one in 6 days before we fly back. To your point, it is very difficult to coordinate Covid tests to comply with the airline rule windows and compounding that stress is you pack up, get ready, get tested, wait and hope it's negative. If not, everything you planned is tossed. For us this is extremely unnerving because Singapore Air at this time will not be flying into BKK after Aug 31st until further notice. So if we miss, we are stuck here in California for who knows how long which creates a tremendous amount of grief for my wife and I.  From my work point of view I am tired of my early morning and late late night calls. I want to get back to some normalcy.  

So for now we forge onward and wait for our Covid tests. Then wait 1 day for results.  The upside is my toes aren't infected and none of my nails are going to fall off...   :Smile:

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## Shutree

> my Bangkok hotel, albeit a bit sweaty and stiff.


That will be a first then.  :Smile: 

I hope your test has gone okay and that everything comes together as planned.

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## Mendip

^ Thanks, I had the test early this morning Shutree.

They do the testing at Building R of the Bangkok Hospital in Huai Khwang. Testing starts at 7am and I think finishes at 9 or 10am. If you get your test done between 7am and 8am they promise same day turn around in 6 to 8 hours, otherwise it's next day. 

I arrived at 6:45 and was No. 1 in the queue list.

This blue building is Building R... I thought about asking if they could rehabilitate my right toe nail while I was there but it was all a bit busy for messing around.



I was back at the hotel well before 8am but despite trying, no chance of any more sleep.

At 10:20am I had an unexpected call... and when the caller announced she was from the hospital I thought, 'Oh shit... this can't be good'. 

But she was just calling to say my Covid test result and Fit to Fly certificate were ready to collect. They had turned it around in 3 hours which was pretty impressive.

So... it looks like I'm off to work!

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## Saint Willy

> So... it looks like I'm off to work!


Good news.

I can understand whiting out your name and the hospital number, but even your age? You're already old.  :rofl:

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## Shutree

> I was back at the hotel well before 8am but despite trying, no chance of any more sleep.


Looking at that photo you posted, it looks like you are about 100m downwind of Lolita's. Are they on Grab these days?

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## Edmond

> I can understand whiting out your name and the hospital number, but even your age? You're already old.


Having helped him sort his visa issues, I can confirm he is 64 years old.

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## Mendip

I hope have stopped all this offshore nonsense by the time I'm 64. 

I may look 64 but I'm a lot younger!

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## Saint Willy

> I may look 64 but I'm a lot younger!


 ::doglol:: 

Are you on a plane yet?

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## katie23

Hi mendip, all the best to you & your new adventures for this year. In case you want to try surstromming again (and make a vid of it), I'll appreciate the shout-out!  :Smile:  

Out of topic - egads, you are a hairy beast!  :Very Happy: 

Safe travels!

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## Mendip

^^ No, fly at 11pm but will head out a bit early because of the curfew.




> Out of topic - egads, you are a hairy beast!


Why thanks Katie... that's one of the nicest compliments anyone has ever given me!

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## OhOh

^
Happy Trails Mendip.




Top Tip 1. Ensure your taxi A/C reaches the back seats.

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## cyrille

Good to see you back posting, katie.

How's the home brew?

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## Mendip

I left from Sukhumvit in plenty of time tonight to make sure there were no problems with the curfew... the roads were quiet and I arrived at Suvarnamhumi 4 bladdy hours before my flight.

It was deserted outside the airport...



And the same inside.



Last year when I flew out in July I thought things were quiet... but now the place is like a ghost town. Almost everything shut and cordoned off.

Airside...



The KLM trolley dollies ain't getting any younger.



The only place for food I could find open was this coffee place by the E gates, so I got meself a sandwich and a couple of 50 Baht small bottles of water. Boots has disappeared behind some screening so I couldn't get my usual 9 Baht water bottles.



I usually dress a bit smart for flights but today I tried wearing proper shoes and my nailess left big toe started rubbing immediately, so I've gone with a plastic slippers and long flying sock combination on my feet. I feel like a bit of a dickhead to be honest... this is typical Korat market girl winter footwear. 

This is in fact the first time I've worn socks for several months. It's all change for me at the moment.



There's not much else to do but sit at the gate and wait... I hope it's not raining in Kristiansund when I land tomorrow afternoon or I'll feel even more of a dickhead walking around in these slipper things in the cold and wet.

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## malmomike77

^ stock up on plastic bags in Thailand to wrap around your feet, safe travels.

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## Headworx

> so I've gone with a plastic slippers and long flying sock combination on my feet.


If only you had a smart and fashionable pair of sandals!

Sorry, couldn't help myself  :Smile:

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## misskit

^^^ Do what you’ve got to do. 


*tee hee*

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## Saint Willy

Fortunately, they are black so hardly anyone can notice.

----------


## Stumpy

Funny Mendy,
I have virtually the same empty airport pics when I left for the US back in July. The Airbus 330 plane to Singapore had < 40 people on it and in business class there were 5 people in total including my wife and I. It was an incredibly weird feeling being on a plane that large and empty as far as the eye could see looking back towards the tail of the plane. From Singapore to the US was maybe 50 people total.

----------


## Saint Willy

Doesn’t appear to be sustainable, even at the inflated prices they are charging.

----------


## katie23

> Good to see you back posting, katie.
> 
> How's the home brew?


I haven't been visiting TD much lately. Found other things to occupy time with.  :Smile: 

Home brew is still good - lots of supply. Before the latest lockdown here (Aug 6) the govt gave a few days notice, so I was able to stock up on Tanduay rhum - I like to mix it with fruit juice during evenings.

Nothing much going on in my end, still WFH. It's tough to do interzonal travel here, so just staying put until the situation gets better. Cheers!

@mendip - Hope you got to your destination safely.

----------


## Mendip

> @mendip - Hope you got to your destination safely.


Thanks Katie! it was all going OK until I got to Oslo...

The Bangkok - Frankfurt flight was maybe 20% full so I got a middle row of 4 seats to myself, and had a lot of choice over which row of 4 to take. The food on Lufthansa is now awful... I would say as bad as KLM but on the plus side they provided metal cutlery so at least I added to my spoon collection.



Frankfurt was quiet... I still get surprised by having my passport stamped on entering Schengen and no way will it last 10 years before being filled up... thanks Boris. The one noticeable thing for me at Frankfurt (and Oslo) is that everyone now wears face masks... I remember when I arrived in Europe for my work trip a year ago there was barely a mask to be seen.



I had a 1 hour 45 minute connection at Oslo before my last flight to Kristiansund... normally no problem but Covid has changed all that (and Brexit of course). 

There were huge queues at immigration due to the checking of Covid vaccine certs/immunity certs/negative test results, along with compliance in filling out online registrations forms, etc etc. My British passport now gets me into the 'All Passports' queue... along with the families of Syrian and Eritrean refugees... it was mayhem and the time soon started ticking away... (ya wanker Boris).

You have to pick up your checked bags at Oslo to clear customs before taking any onward domestic flights. After eventually clearing immigration and picking up my bag there was now a new station to go through before exiting through the Green channel... you now have to take a Covid test on entering Norway, my second in two days. They give you a code and then inform that they will send through a text message with another code and a link to a website to access your results. I was promised a 20 minute turnaround which was very tight... but you're not allowed to board your onward flight without a negative test result. I duly took the test, exited through customs, dragged my bag up to the next level and dropped it off for my Kristiansund flight. The guy at drop off told me not to hang around because my gate, B1, was a long way off and it was tight.

Of course security was mobbed... everyone had been delayed and no-one was allowing any pushing in. I nearly got through and then this complete tosser of a security guard insisted on putting my bag through the machine a second time...

While I was waiting I looked up... gate B1 was closing.



I eventually got my bag back.... and while shambling off to the gate my phone beeped... I had my code, so was trying to enter in the two codes on the move (not quite a run) and eventually managed... a negative result... so all good, I just needed a bit of luck. And then I suddenly realised that my carry on bag was feeling very light. I looked inside and realised that the complete wanker of a security guard hadn't put everything back inside. I had to turn back... and Gate B1 was a bladdy long way from security and I had a sweat on by this stage. When I got back to security there was a tray with half of my stuff sitting at the end of the conveyor belt... lucky no-one had taken it because it included my document wallet with second passport, Seaman's book, etc etc.

The screen still said 'Gate Closing', so I had a chance... but as I approached the bladdy gate which was a good 400 metres from security my plane was just backing out.

Bastard!



Bon voyage... fukkos.



I now have to wait 7 hours for the next flight and I'm knackered. I won't get to the hotel until approaching midnight and have an early start tomorrow because we British now have to report at a police station before going offshore... but I can't blame that on Covid... that one's down to Brexit. Thanks Boris you wanker.

There's not a lot of enjoyment in travel these days.

----------


## Norton

Bloody hell Mendip!

----------


## Stumpy

Ouch Mendy..... appears to be an eventful start to your trek back to work....   :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

> I won't get to the hotel until approaching midnight and have an early start tomorrow because we British now have to report at a police station before going offshore... but I can't blame that on Covid... that one's down to Brexit. Thanks Boris you wanker.


 ::chitown:: 

Still waiting to read about anything that BREXIT has improved

Tory peer Ian Botham is now a trade envoy to Australia though so...oh christ, I can't even think of a way to end this sentence.  :Sad:

----------


## dirk diggler

Disaster. 

Boris can go die in a fire. 

Need to publish this carry on in Scotland before IndyRef2!

----------


## cyrille

They're having an independent enquiry into the handling of COVID in Scotland - that should be interesting.

----------


## dirk diggler

As supposed to an international enquiry?

----------


## Saint Willy

I don’t miss those tight turn arounds and airport queues…

----------


## malmomike77

> The food on Lufthansa is now awful...


What in Gods name is the stuff that looks like mash and mushy peas?

----------


## malmomike77

> I don’t miss those tight turn arounds and airport queues…


Nor does mr mendip, he hits every one, feel for you mr mendipv :Smile:

----------


## panama hat

> Tbh I'm still hopefull of a spoon out of Lufthansa... German engineering and all that.





> My people thank you for flying Lufthansa and will try to get you your cutlery.





> they provided metal cutlery so at least I added to my spoon collection.


I spoke to my people who spoke to my other people and  . . . there you go







> There's not a lot of enjoyment in travel these days.


Luckily you have a Lufthansa spoon to make up for it

----------


## Mendip

^ To be honest the spoon was scant compensation for such an awful journey and besides, I've already got few Lufthansa spoons. But I guess it's always nice to get another for swaps.





> What in Gods name is the stuff that looks like mash and mushy peas?


That was potato salad with lettuce and was probably the best part of the meal, apart from the Kit-Kat of course.


After a very bumpy flight up from Oslo to Kristiansund we exited the plane to torrential rain and a gale. Not the best of pictures but you get the idea.



I'll wager I was the only person standing around in plastic slippers and a short sleeved shirt.



I finally dumped my bags down in my Kristiansund hotel room at 11:30pm, 34 hours after I left my Sukhumvit hotel. This is what 100 quid a night gets you in Norway... it's a bit grim but I'm only staying for a few hours.



Two things are bothering me now... firstly, despite being fukken knackered it's now 5am in Korat, my body clock is waking me up and I think sleep will be hard to find and secondly, it's blowing a hooley outside and I'm going to sea for the first time in 11 months tomorrow... I'm worried it could take a few days to get my sea legs back and I'm not looking forward to it.

But that's a worry for tomorrow... the journey is nearly over, my bandages stayed on and my toes feel good. I have to put on proper shoes in the morning and I think it'll be OK.

----------


## panama hat

> ^ To be honest the spoon was scant compensation for such an awful journey and besides, I've already got few Lufthansa spoons. But I guess it's always nice to get another for swaps.


Ungrateful sod . . . I now regret talking to my people who talked to my other people to get you your spoon.  :28:

----------


## HuangLao

> Bloody hell Mendip!


Yes.
Looks to be there, as well -

----------


## David48atTD

> I'll wager I was the only person standing around in plastic slippers and a short sleeved shirt.





 :Smile:  Oh Mendy ... what are we going to do with you?

----------


## Saint Willy

You’re completely mad. I always carry a heavy coat with me so I can put it on at the airport!

----------


## Backspin

I thought they would have invented a medicine to cure jet lag by now. It can be very discomforting.

Before one of my Thailand trips , I started going on Thai time 2 days before my trip. Maybe it helped a little. But I was still overly exhausted and foggy for awhile.

Btw that airplane pasta looks delicious

----------


## dirk diggler

> blowing a hooley


I've never heard this in the Queen's English before. 

I always thought "Bla'n a hoolie" was a Doric expression.

----------


## PAG

> I've never heard this in the Queen's English before. 
> 
> I always thought "Bla'n a hoolie" was a Doric expression.


That's what comes with working with a lot of Jocks.

----------


## hallelujah

> I thought they would have invented a medicine to cure jet lag by now. It can be very discomforting.


The medicine is alcohol.

----------


## Stumpy

Can't wait for Mendy's return in his Proper Jesus slippers......    :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

So it begins. Good luck Mendy.

----------


## Shutree

> my plane was just backing out.


FourKinnell Mendip, that was painful just reading that saga. At least you got there.

Did you have checked luggage on the flight that left without you?

Things can only get better now.

----------


## OhOh

> My British passport now gets me into the 'All Passports' queue


It will come as a shock to many.

You'll be offshore soon.

----------


## Edmond

> You'll be offshore soon.


Baree Thai Massage Orawan Salerat, Kristiansund N | bedrift | gulesider.no

4 hands 90 minute warm oil massage to get rid of those travel knots.


Though will probably cost about the same as the long haul flight.  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

> I thought they would have invented a medicine to cure jet lag by now.


Melatonin is recommended nowadays.

----------


## PAG

> Baree Thai Massage Orawan Salerat, Kristiansund N | bedrift | gulesider.no
> 
> 4 hands 90 minute warm oil massage to get rid of those travel knots.
> 
> 
> Though will probably cost about the same as the long haul flight.

----------


## lom

"Get a Healing and Calming _Massage_. With Organic Treatments That Leave You Saying Ahhh! "

that's code for happy ending, innit?  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Mendy won’t be getting happy endings for the next six months or so…

----------


## Shutree

> Mendy won’t be getting happy endings for the next six months or so…


What happens offshore, stays offshore. 

;-)

----------


## Edmond

The companies should really hire that service for ships and rigs.

They hire Filipino cooks.

A wee Thai massage room could well increase productivity and turn a tidy profit if charging offshore prices, though may cause incorrect seismic readings during the latter stages of each session.


Do they have suggestion forms on those ships, Mendo?

----------


## somtamslap

That is one serious commute. Thanks for taking us along on the journey.

----------


## David48atTD

> Things can only get better now.


Don't count on it  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

We feel your pain Mendip, what a return to work!

How long are you back at work for this time?


Btw sort your footwear out :Smile:  ::spin::

----------


## Klondyke

> We feel your pain Mendip, what a return to work!


Perhaps his pain in the Isaan Pond was not so bad - now, on the second thought...

----------


## OhOh

What sort of medical facilities are on board. A stick to chomp down on and a hot knife?

----------


## Mendip

> Do they have suggestion forms on those ships, Mendo?


They do have a suggestion box onboard but it's intended for ideas to improve the efficiency of work flows, safety and the like. I'm not sure that suggesting a short time cabin for happy endings would go down well, particularly in these times of Covid. I'll have a think about it.

And besides, an old sea dog like meself knows a few tricks...




> What happens offshore, stays offshore.


Exactly, Shutree!





> How long are you back at work for this time?
> Btw sort your footwear out


I've promised the daughter I'll be back for Christmas and looking at the jobs lined up that should be possible so long as the ASQ requirement has finished by the end of the year. If I still have to quarantine I reckon I'll have some explaining to do as it looks like the last project should finish mid-December.

^ And I'm way ahead of you... the first time I've worn proper shoes since my left big toe nail was gouged out... and no problems. I'm good to go!




Did I mention that another bonus from Brexit is that Brits now have to report at the local police station before going offshore so that immigration can stamp you out of the country. After a short stop at the hotel this was today's first task after breakfast.

At least it had stopped raining.



I will now get 4 stamps for every Norwegian work trip (on top of the Thai stamps)... one to enter Schengen, one to leave Norway, one to re-enter Norway and one to leave Schengen. So long as they keep it neat like this I should only lose one page of my passport each trip.... although if/when Covid is over and I go back to regular 4 or 6 week rotations it won't take long to fill a passport.

I won't bother saying 'Thanks Boris, you tosser' again as I don't want to turn this into an anti Brexit thread.



And then to the boat...

By this time it had started pissing it down again and us ongoing crew got drenched while waiting outside a portacabin to take lateral flow Covid tests before being allowed onboard. This was my third test in as many days.



The test was negative, so no more excuses. 

This is probably one of the worst views there is. It's not so bad for a Norwegian staff guy as they work a rotation of 2 on, 2 off, 2 on, 4 off. Heading up a gangway to stay onboard for a maximum of 2 weeks is no problem... but heading up one for maybe a 3 to 4 month trip ain't a great feeling.



The rough plan now is for a 4 week trip in the Norwegian Sea, then a 2 week break before a second 8 week trip in the Black Sea. The 2 week break would be while the boat transits down to Istanbul for mobilisation of the Black Sea work. I've already been asked if I would consider staying onboard for the transit down there to finish up old projects... and after my awful commute here I think that could be worth doing. The work on the boat is no problem, but travelling through airports under Covid is a nightmare. But I also want to go to back the UK and see my mum and don't know what to do yet.

When I reached the top of the gangway I couldn't resist a backward glance... when and where will that be a reality for me I wonder? 



My home for the foreseeable future and a welcome bunk. A day's sleep awaits before my first night shift. I've taken the midnight to midday shift... it's perfect for keeping in touch with Thailand and helping the daughter with her home work... when I finish shift at midday it'll be 5pm in Korat and she'll be getting home from school (if it ever opens again).



Typical Norwegian weather... I only left Korat last Saturday but already it feels a world away.



Time to get busy.

----------


## Saint Willy

> And besides, an old sea dog like meself knows a few tricks...
> 
>  Originally Posted by Shutree  
> What happens offshore, stays offshore.
> Exactly



Would one of those tricks be Mr Happy a sock?

----------


## Joe 90

> I've promised the daughter I'll be back for Christmas


Grow a beard and dye it white, get yourself a Santa outfit and surprise your daughter on your return.

----------


## malmomike77

> ^ And I'm way ahead of you... the first time I've worn proper shoes since my left big toe nail was gouged out... and no problems. I'm good to go!


At least you are not going to wear your flip flops out keeping fit

----------


## panama hat

> And then to the boat...


Thank you for all the pics and details - it's something completely different for those of us not in the O&G offshore industry.  

I was taken to a platform off the Sabahan coast by Petronas once in a helicopter as a bit of a joyride - fascinating but happy to be off again . . . spent a bit of time at sea while in the navy but this is different . . . and your cabin looks quite fancy for a boat.  

(Also, why do you use 'boat', not 'ship'?)

Looking forward to more - stay safe

----------


## Saint Willy

I think it is to do with size…

----------


## Saint Willy

I think it is to do with size

----------


## naptownmike

Thanks for taking us along for the ride again this year.

That cabin looks pretty nice.

You will soon be back into the swing of working but it must be hard to get going again after all that time off.

----------


## dirk diggler

Single man cabin, single bunk, couch, coffee table, a fucking tv and an ensuite. Even scored a window!

Nice digs man, tough at the top...

----------


## Edmond

Norwegian prison:




Did you ever think of turning to crime?

----------


## Shutree

> My home for the foreseeable future and a welcome bunk.


Just getting there is a win. More than one win in fact.

I really miss travel, visiting friends and family. Then I look at these travelogues and I think I'll just stay here a bit longer.

----------


## nidhogg

As usual, fascinating stuff.  

Is that a single berth this time Mendip?  Think last time you were sharing?

----------


## Saint Willy

> Just getting there is a win. More than one win in fact.
> 
> I really miss travel, visiting friends and family. Then I look at these travelogues and I think I'll just stay here a bit longer.


ditto!

----------


## Stumpy

> I really miss travel, visiting friends and family. Then I look at these travelogues and I think I'll just stay here a bit longer.


Good idea to stay put.  Traveling is extremely challenging and stressful. The hardest part currently is the constant rules and requirement changes.  Just got a new one today from Singapore Air.  So now we have to double up on Covid test dates to make sure my wife and I have one that now covers the transit flight boarding. Before just needed it to board 1st leg of flight.  So the 72 hrs has to cover your entire trip flight.

----------


## OhOh

> I have one that now covers the transit flight boarding.


As well as the Bangkok arrival.

----------


## Edmond

Fok that sheet for stress, while traveling. 


Got a wee 300-400km motorbike ride tomorrow in motorbiking heaven, warm oil 2 hour massage at the end. Those trips will do for this year. Fok swabs being rammed up me schnozzer and running for boarding gates in socks and sandals.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> As well as the Bangkok arrival.


Only need the cert for arrival. Doesn't have to be within 72 hrs timing.  We land and apparently from what my wife tells me, we will ride in an Ambulance van deal to our ASQ.  This crap has gotten completely out of hand on so many levels.  

For now, COE done and accepted. ASQ booked.  Covid test in a few days then begin the journey back.  

Won't be doing this again until this nonsense is under control.  As much as a pain in the ass this has been, I walked my daughter down the aisle and watched her get married.  :Smile:

----------


## panama hat

> I walked my daughter down the aisle and watched her get married.


Lots of happiness and a bit of sadness? 
Good for you for making the effort

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> Only need the cert for arrival. Doesn't have to be within 72 hrs timing.  We land and apparently from what my wife tells me, we will ride in an Ambulance van deal to our ASQ.  This crap has gotten completely out of hand on so many levels.  
> 
> For now, COE done and accepted. ASQ booked.  Covid test in a few days then begin the journey back.  
> 
> Won't be doing this again until this nonsense is under control.  As much as a pain in the ass this has been, I walked my daughter down the aisle and watched her get married.


Congratulations on your daughters wedding !! 
This travel situation has gotten out of hand, especially for people like us who are spread out around the world and depend on the travel industry as much as we do. 
My brother with who I am very close with , and have not seen for two years, just turned 74, I am 64, we dont have so many years left that we can waste them watching grass grow in our back yards.  We talk on Skype every few days, but it's not the same.
 I am sure you all have similar situations.
I can afford the traveling, and I don't mind (much) all the hoops to jump through . But 14 days quarantine there, and 14 days quarantine back on top of all the other covid travel restrictions is just too much. 
I wish, we all stop this nonsense ,and everyone who can, gets vaccinated. If we get another variant that is vaccine resistant, It will be game over for many of us. 
Very depressing, At least to me.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Only need the cert for arrival. Doesn't have to be within 72 hrs timing.  We land and apparently from what my wife tells me, we will ride in an Ambulance van deal to our ASQ.  This crap has gotten completely out of hand on so many levels.  
> 
> For now, COE done and accepted. ASQ booked.  Covid test in a few days then begin the journey back.  
> 
> Won't be doing this again until this nonsense is under control.  As much as a pain in the ass this has been, I walked my daughter down the aisle and watched her get married.


 congrats, a special moment.

----------


## lom

> Got a wee 300-400km motorbike ride tomorrow in motorbiking heaven, warm oil 2 hour massage at the end. Those trips will do for this year. Fok swabs being rammed up me schnozzer and running for boarding gates in socks and sandals.


some have to work for their daily bread and some brag about not having to..

----------


## Mendip

> (Also, why do you use 'boat', not 'ship'?)





> I think it is to do with size


As I seem to have spent my entire adult life explaining... it's not all about size!

Nah, I don't know why people generally use 'boat' rather than 'ship' for this work, but they do. I think 'vessel' is a better term but it's a lot of typing each time. Certainly in professional reports 'vessel' is used.





> That cabin looks pretty nice.
> 
> You will soon be back into the swing of working but it must be hard to get going again after all that time off.



It has been very hard to get into work mode again after 7 months in Isaan spending most of my time with a 10 year-old and a pack of dogs... and they're not the brightest of dogs either. However it's amazing how quickly you adapt and now that I'm gradually catching up on sleep it's all coming back to me. I may even be productive this shift and after only 5 days since leaving home it's already a distant memory... and the feeling of being baking hot and constantly sweating my balls off is already hard to imagine.

And the cabin is fine!





> Single man cabin, single bunk, couch, coffee table, a fucking tv and an ensuite. Even scored a window!
> 
> Nice digs man, tough at the top...





> Is that a single berth this time Mendip?  Think last time you were sharing?


Sadly my single cabin isn't due to any status and I'm far from the top... freelancers generally get the worst of accommodation. Shared cabins are no longer allowed due to Covid measures so I guess that's one good consequence.

New onsigners have to wear a mask around the boat apart from at work stations and are banned from the gym for the first week (oh dear...). We also have a separate table in the mess and are not allowed to use 'public' toilets but have to go back to our cabin each time. There really is no escaping the effects of Covid.

All said and done though I've fallen on my feet here... there are two senior staff geos onboard, one of whom I've known for around 25 years and the other I helped train up in the early 2000s. This has given me some latitude for a slow start while my brain gradually cranks itself into gear.

I used to work on this boat fairly regularly up until 2019 and I probably know around half the crew well... and I worked a lot with the Client rep back in the 90s so all in all it's good to catch up.

I also found a mug I'd left in an office draw a couple of years ago. I bought this in Tesco Lotus in Korat and it was a real bonus to find as I forgot to bring one with me. The mugs on boats are never big enough.

I'll try and take on board the mug's message as I start each night shift for the many weeks to come...

----------


## Joe 90

Nice one Mendip!

----------


## David48atTD

> As I seem to have spent my entire adult life explaining... it's not all about size!


My sister used to say, "short and thick does the trick" ... maybe that's why Luigi was moderately successful with the Lassies?

Praise Jesus  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> New onsigners have to wear a mask around the boat apart from at work stations and are banned from the gym for the first week (oh dear...).


Speaking of which ... the initial weigh-in to be completed (and photoed) within your first week  :ourrules:

----------


## ootai

> Won't be doing this again until this nonsense is under control.  As much as a pain in the ass this has been, I walked my daughter down the aisle and watched her get married.



JPPR2
I absolutely agree that this whole thing has got out of control but kudos to you for jumping through the hoops to be present at your daughter's wedding.
It is (hopefully) only a once in a lifetime event and you would have never forgiven yourself if you hadn't been there with/for her.

I have nothing but admiration for both you and Mendip being able to put up with the stress of travelling under the current conditions and requirements.
I just do not have the tolerance for being able to be in such a stressful environment.
I haven't been back to Australia for 2.5 years and my grandkids are growing so fast that I am starting to think they might be teenagers (now 5 and 7) before I get to see them again.

Hopefully you have a safe an uneventful trip albeit long trip home.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Sounds like you have scored with this work in that you are working for/with a couple of people you know well.
What has been their reaction to you sorry state regarding your toes?

As for it being hot here well yesterday not so much it rained, heavily at times, all day yesterday so if it also rained at your place I am sure the pond is now truly full if not overflowing.
Have to watch out if there is lot's of water around as the fish start migrating and the pla chon end up back in your pond.

I hope it is all worth it in the end.

Also you mentioned that you are trying to decide whether to stay on the vessel/boat/ship when they transport it to the Black sea or go and see your Mum.
Do they plan on stopping at a port along the way? If they do maybe you can do both i.e. short trip to see your Mum and then rejoin the boat when they call into the port .

Keep up the posting it gives me something to read and smile about while I sit here with my morning coffee.

----------


## Stumpy

> Lots of happiness and a bit of sadness?





> Congratulations on your daughters wedding !!





> congrats, a special moment.





> jumping through the hoops to be present at your daughter's wedding.
> It is (hopefully) only a once in a lifetime event and you would have never forgiven yourself if you hadn't been there with/for her.


Thanks you guys. It was a special moment and as ootai said, had I opted out, I would have carried a huge regret. So the pain and stress was absolutely worth it. Once in a lifetime.



What is such a contrast is I am seeing my Mom who was diagnosed with stage 3 Pancreatic cancer. 3 months ago. So I have been balancing my time between both with very different emotions....

----------


## lom

> I think 'vessel' is a better term but it's a lot of typing each time.


easier to type, look at your keyboard. esse

----------


## Mendip

^ True... but look where the 'v' and 'l' are!

^^ Difficult time's I'm sure JP, but congrats on your daughter.

Living the other side of the world from elderly parents is difficult enough at the best of times... but when there's sickness involved along with trying to travel under Covid restrictions it must be awful.

Hang in there...

----------


## lom

> What has been their reaction to you sorry state regarding your toes?


I guess they keep distance  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> I walked my daughter down the aisle and watched her get married


An impossible day to miss.

Congratulations to your daughter and new son-in-law.

May all you travellers, physically and throughout life's journey, find "fair winds and following seas".

----------


## OhOh

> New onsigners have to wear a mask around the boat  apart from at work stations and are banned from the gym for the first  week (oh dear...). We also have a separate table in the mess and are not  allowed to use 'public' toilets but have to go back to our cabin each  time. There really is no escaping the effects of Covid.


Has the ship's surgeon signed you off yet?

----------


## Mendip

> My sister used to say, "short and thick does the trick" ...


Wow... that's quite an admission mate! Are you sure you haven't got some Welsh blood in you?  :Smile: 




> Speaking of which ... the initial weigh-in to be completed (and photoed) within your first week


Yeah... I can play along. I'm so certain that I'm gonna lose a truckload of weight this trip that I have no problem showing a start of trip weigh-in.

But lockdown hasn't been kind to me...

We had a gentle rolling swell this morning so I got meself up to the scales outside of the heli-lounge.

The scales seemed to think my weight ranged between this on the downward roll...



But sadly this on the upward roll...



I'll take the mid-point as 107kg. I was wearing heavy clothes today and I had a load of stuff in my pockets but I guess that doesn't matter so long as I wear the same stuff for the end of trip weigh-in. I'm hoping for low 90s.

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> Sounds like you have scored with this work in that you are working for/with a couple of people you know well.
> What has been their reaction to you sorry state regarding your toes?
> 
> Also you mentioned that you are trying to decide whether to stay on the vessel/boat/ship when they transport it to the Black sea or go and see your Mum.
> Do they plan on stopping at a port along the way? If they do maybe you can do both i.e. short trip to see your Mum and then rejoin the boat when they call into the port .


Ootai, it's always good to join a boat and find there's a few old mates to catch up with... softens the blow a bit.

I mentioned my poor toes at breakfast this morning but no-one seemed all that interested...

Staying on for the transit to the Black Sea may not may not be an option. The boat will spend a couple of days in her Norwegian home port for some maintenance and then head direct to Istanbul. I either stay on for the duration or leave and rejoin in Turkey. The pros of staying onboard are obviously an extra couple of weeks money and avoiding flights during Covid and also avoiding the potential of a sudden lockdown stranding me in the UK and missing out on the Black Sea work... I don't take anything for granted at the moment. The cons of staying onboard are missing out on a visit to see my mum in the UK and hopefully getting a Pfizer jab... also staying onboard would turn this into a 14 week trip which is an awfully long time on a boat.

I'll see how I feel... I'll probably fly back to the UK anyway at the end of this trip as I can't imagine trying to sort out a CoE from Turkey straight from demob.





> Has the ship's surgeon signed you off yet?


No ship's surgeon these days OhOh but we do have a medic. I decided against causing any problems and neglected to tell him about my toe, or rather toes, as I don't think the right big toe nail will be staying attached much longer. If it does come off I'll probably bury it at sea rather than take it home with me.


This campaign of work started at the Heidrun Field,  175km off the coast of mid-Norway. Heidrun was the world's first floating, concrete hulled, tension leg platform and has been producing since 1995. We have 350m water depth at the Heidrun Field.

That's Heidrun off our stern early this morning.



We were surveying infield flowlines connecting an array of satellite wells to Heidrun's risers.

And off our bows was this drilling rig... there's still more development happening at this 26 year-old field.



We had to break off work some distance from the drilling rig... they're a lot bigger and more expensive than us and don't like anything coming too close.



So off we went to Heidrun to make use of such good weather to complete our workscope within the platform 500 metre safety zone.



There really is no escaping work when you're on a boat... this was the view from the mess this morning. Alternate chairs are bagged off as a Covid measure during meal times.

----------


## bsnub

Oh yes, I like to see more pics inside the ship.

----------


## Saint Willy

Pretty pics, but it’s still summer, eh? If it were me id skip the uk and take the work…

----------


## Stumpy

Great Pics Mendy, keep them coming.

----------


## aging one

> as I don't think the right big toe nail will be staying attached much longer.


Was going to post earlier before you left but did not want to worry you. The last night Dan knew about your toe. After you posted the picture so did I. It was white underneath.  Not a good sign. What a great way for your old buddy Dan to say see ya later.. He knew you were going to.  Take care, lose weight, and keep up this thread mate.

----------


## dirk diggler

Your desk is better than my desk. 

No messing with the mug size tho.

----------


## Joe 90

> The cons of staying onboard are missing out on a visit to see my mum in the UK and hopefully getting a Pfizer jab..


Indeed mate, family and health first.

Your mum would be over the moon to see you after such a long time away, plus you could stock up on cheese and cider :Smile: 

You don't want that covid without any protection. 

You can walk in and get the vaccine for free over here now.

----------


## dirk diggler

They were handing out free Pfizer vaccines to farangs in Songkhla based in over 60, poor health or…

…“morbidly obese - over 100kg”

Just saying.

----------


## OhOh

> We have 350m water depth


How deep can the inspection ROV/rig go down?

----------


## Saint Willy

> They were handing out free Pfizer vaccines to farangs in Songkhla based in over 60, poor health or…
> 
> …“morbidly obese - over 100kg”
> 
> Just saying.




 :rofl:  harsh! But true!

----------


## Joe 90

Once Mendip has finished his contract/work/fitness/ diet he wont qualify.

----------


## PAG

> Ootai
> 
> 
> This campaign of work started at the Heidrun Field,  175km off the coast of mid-Norway. Heidrun was the world's first floating, concrete hulled, tension leg platform and has been producing since 1995. We have 350m water depth at the Heidr


This gave me cause to look more closely at the paper weight that sits on my desk.   At the time, Magnus was the most northerly platform in the UK sector, and in the deepest water at 186m.   Steel jacket, and at the time about as high tech as you could get.

----------


## dirk diggler

PAG, Where did you acquire this?

They just don't make things like this any more as far as I can tell. Budgets don't allow for it I suppose. Not even a free T-shirt in the last 10 years.

----------


## PAG

> PAG, Where did you acquire this?
> 
> They just don't make things like this any more as far as I can tell. Budgets don't allow for it I suppose. Not even a free T-shirt in the last 10 years.


I was the Services Supervisor on Magnus, having moved from Forties.   In fact, I was the first person actually living on Magnus, having moved onboard from the Polycastle alongside.   This was 1982, and everyone got a paperweight for first oil.   Margaret Thatcher was in BP's offices in Dyce to 'press the button'.   This one's from Greater Plutonio, offshore Angola in 2007.

----------


## dirk diggler

Nice collection.

One of the last North Sea rigs I was on was the Forties Delta in 2019. 

I've never been to Magnus, and I wasn't even born in '82!

----------


## Saint Willy

> and I wasn't even born in '82!


I suspect someone is telling porkies! 

 :Bsflag:

----------


## dirk diggler

Scouts honor.

I was conceived though.

----------


## Saint Willy

Bugger, bought you were about my age…

----------


## Mendip

> Was going to post earlier before you left but did not want to worry you. The last night Dan knew about your toe. After you posted the picture so did I. It was white underneath.  Not a good sign. What a great way for your old buddy Dan to say see ya later..


Yeah AO, Dan's a great dog, we're very close. I guess _she_ was trying to tell me about my toe. It would have been great to bring her out here, _she'd_ love it and would be great company!





> They were handing out free Pfizer vaccines to farangs in Songkhla based in over 60, poor health or…
> 
> …“morbidly obese - over 100kg”
> 
> Just saying.


What a horrible phrase 'morbidly obese' is for someone just carrying a few extra pounds. They love to give everything a medical term these days.

No way am I morbidly obese or even just normally obese... this has made me even more determined to sort it out.





> Once Mendip has finished his contract/work/fitness/ diet he wont qualify.


Exactly right Joe, I'll be like a whippet when I get off this boat.





> How deep can the inspection ROV/rig go down?


We have two ROVs on here OhOH, a workclass and a survey ROV.

The workclass is used for inspection and other general tasks and is rated to 2000m. The survey ROV is used for site/route surveys and pipeline inspection and is rated to 3000m. The depth rating of the workclass ROV will be due to the lowest rated bit of equipment bolted on and I'm sure, if necessary, that depth rating could be increased. From memory the Black Sea goes down to 2200m so something will have to be sorted out for that project.





> I was the Services Supervisor on Magnus, having moved from Forties.   In fact, I was the first person actually living on Magnus, having moved onboard from the Polycastle alongside.   This was 1982, and everyone got a paperweight for first oil.   Margaret Thatcher was in BP's offices in Dyce to 'press the button'.   This one's from Greater Plutonio, offshore Angola in 2007.


A great collection PAG... as Dirk says even a free T-shirt is a rarity these days. I did get a vacuum mug out of Equinor last year but that went to the daughter for a Christmas present.

----------


## Mendip

> Your desk is better than my desk. 
> 
> No messing with the mug size tho.



That's a messy desk Dirk!

Here is my desk and I even have my own port hole (yes, they're not called windows on boats Dirk!).

To be honest the only reason it's so clean is that one of the Filipina stewardesses gives it a good wipe down every day.

----------


## Edmond

That's cool. Cheers for the update, Morbidly Obese Mendy.  :Smile: 





> one of the Filipina stewardesses gives it a good wipe down every day.


Oh hello.

----------


## OhOh

> Oh hello.


Don't forget *MoM*'s "forced" stopover in BKK. Give him a month or so for those memories to fade.

By then, the Aberdeen grease monkey will become someone to investigate.

----------


## Mendip

I really don't like the way this thread's going.

MoM... FFS...

And I had to stopover in Bangkok to get my PCR test!

----------


## Headworx

> I'll be like a whippet when I get off this boat.








> To be honest the only reason it's so clean is that one of the Filipina stewardesses gives it a good wipe down every day.


Here we go again!  :Naughty:

----------


## lom

> To be honest the only reason it's so clean is that one of the Filipina stewardesses gives it a good wipe down every day.


It looks like she's also hit the back of her head on the edge of your desk.

----------


## PAG

> MoM... FFS...!

----------


## happynz

Since this thread has drifted slightly off course...

I ran across a video about this sort of rock called itacolumite.  Strange stuff. Do you run across  this stuff during your geological surveys?

----------


## Saint Willy

I bet she needs to clean it well after you watch a bit of pornhub!

----------


## panama hat

> No way am I morbidly obese or even just normally obese... this has made me even more determined to sort it out.


Yea, you're just 'big-boned' . . .  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

That's what the Filipina said. Har har. 


Even has that little BJ stool kept under his desk.  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> Even has that little BJ stool kept under his desk.


I wasn't going to comment but yeah, that's exactly the same sort of stool they use to have at The Pump Station. Telling 'ya, the crack of dawn isn't safe when Mendip's on the loose  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> The Pump Station.


_Ohhh, I've got to renew my passport in Bangkok for the fifth time this year._


He's fooling no one.  :Smile:

----------


## PAG

> That's what the Filipina said. Har har. 
> 
> 
> Even has that little BJ stool kept under his desk.

----------


## katie23

Hey guys, may I remind you that the Filipina stewardess is an OFW (overseas Filipino worker). OFWs are the PH's number 1 export - they keep the PH economy alive with their remittances (especially during these corona times). She probably sends $$ to her kid/ family monthly. 

But, I know this is all banter, so ok, carry on.  :Smile:  

@mendip - next time you see her, tell her "Salamat" (thank you) and "Maganda ka" (you're beautiful). You can thank me later.  :Very Happy:  

Btw I don't think you're obese (based on the pics), just a lil overweight. BMI is a height/weight thing, right? If you're 6 feet, then 107 kg isn't too bad (but losing weight is a good thing). 

Cheers to all!  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

^Yes KT it's all just fun, not sure how much of the subliminal and double-meaning stuff Mendip posts you pick up on but he's clearly got a fantastic sense of humour. He might have a black eye too if BLD or I send him some Tagalog words and phrases to try out on Miss Butuan  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Hey guys, may I remind you that the Filipina stewardess is an OFW (overseas Filipino worker). OFWs are the PH's number 1 export - they keep the PH economy alive with their remittances (especially during these corona times). She probably sends $$ to her kid/ family monthly.


Lovely women, I would bet katie. I am sure that they are doing a hard job and sadly have to take a lot of abuse. 

I would bet that our good lad Mendy is not one of those. He is a kind soul.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Thank you Katie, finally some sensible input to the thread!

I'll start with 'Salamat' and take it from there, however one certainly is very 'Maganda ka' but it's the start of a long trip and I don't want things to get awkward.

Yes you're correct... I'm not 'morbidly obese'... I just have a large frame and carry a few extra pounds, soon to be lost. You understand but no-one else seems to get it. Green owed.


And for everyone else... that's not a 'blow job' stool under my work desk, it's a bloody foot rest.


A big shout out to OhOh and HNZ for asking sensible, pertinent questions. Greens also owed or sent.

I answered OhOh's question, and now HNZ's.




> I ran across a video about this sort of rock called itacolumite.   Strange stuff. Do you run across  this stuff during your geological  surveys?


I must admit that I'd never heard of itacolumite  before and had to Google it. No, we never come cross that stuff and to  be honest I rarely actually get my hands on any rocks these days... it's  all digital data.





> Oh yes, I like to see more pics inside the ship.


No problem Snubby.

This is the ship's laundry. I don't know why it's always called the 'ships laundry' but it is, and 'boat's laundry' just doesn't sound right.

I put my net bag of dirty clothes in a basket in the laundry before the start of shift and when I return to my cabin 12 hours later the bag of freshly laundered and folded clothes will be waiting for me.



A small note of interest maybe... if you notice how the laundry room narrows with distance from where I was standing.... that's because it's located right at the bow of the boat. Every bit of space is used in a boat.

There's two baskets in the laundry, one if you want your clothes washed at 60 degrees and the other if you want a 40 degrees wash. I always go for 40 degrees as my clothes are tight enough as it is, although to be fair after 7 months in Isaan there's a strong case for putting my underwear through a boil wash. We only have a cold wash at home and it just doesn't do the job... it's good to get a proper wash and finally get some of those stains out.

This was my bag deposited before the start of last shift. Amongst other clothing, this bag contained the boxers and socks that I wore for 35 hours straight while travelling over from Bangkok. I really hope that the Filipina stewardesses are well paid because without being too graphic, we all know how difficult it is to clean yourself in an airplane toilet.

----------


## ootai

Hey Mendip I don't know if you keep up to date with your mother country's rules regarding Co-vid but I just read where the UK will be putting Thailand on the Red list as of Monday.
So maybe you got out just in time.

As for not "understanding" about whether you are obese or not it is not a subjective opinion it is objective.
So your BMI is  104/3.3489 = 31.05  I have used 1.83m as your height and 104kg as your weight (your picture showed 107kg but you did say you were wearing "heavy" clothes.

So according to the BMI charts you are not morbidly obese just obese so hope that makes you feel better.

Just so you don't feel too put out my BMI is 28.7 so I am just a fat bastard according to the charts.

Judging by what you have posted lately it seems you are living a life of luxury with your laundry getting done, your room and office getting cleaned, your meals getting cooked and then to top it all off you are getting paid.

I know you have good intentions but under those circumstance I predict  you may even reach the magic 117kg which would get you to the morbidly obese level, good luck.

----------


## Saint Willy

Jaysus, Mary and Jospeh. Sometimes. Just sometimes you can throw those kecks out!

----------


## Edmond

> he's clearly got a fantastic sense of humour.





> I just have a large frame and carry a few extra pounds


See. He could do stand-up.  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

Originally Posted by *Mendip*  
 				I just have a large frame and carry a few extra pounds



More likely one of these:


 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Stumpy

Looks like you got all you need there Mendy. Bachelor life. 

As for your weight and BMI, Pfffft. Live life. Enjoy what you like just have a daily activity to sustain your weight and cardio. It should compliment your life. You know during this trip I caught up with a bunch of friends and colleagues while here . Its amazing in general how miserable they are in the sense they are all wrapped up in things like you mentioned above, BMI,  They drink these regular colon cleansing concoctions, super controlled diets of which they hate the food and I ask them "what for, why do what you hate or do not enjoy?".  I still struggle to understand why some people, as they get older, give up much of what they like to eat and do and torture themselves because it might add a few years on the back end of their lives....This is when you should be on the gas doing all you can because the life clock is spinning fast.

----------


## Looper

Great pics Mendip. Fascinating stuff. Looks quite comfy single digs. Covid has its silver linings.




> Lovely women, I would bet katie. I am sure that they are doing a hard job and sadly have to take a lot of abuse.





> And for everyone else... that's not a 'blow job' stool under my work desk




Beautiful pic of the big day JP. Would have been worth the massive trip trouble to see your mum too.




> Thanks you guys. It was a special moment and as ootai said, had I opted out, I would have carried a huge regret. So the pain and stress was absolutely worth it. Once in a lifetime.


Looks like the groom has borrowed his dad's shoes for the big occasion!

That is where these pixie-leg fashion trousers let you down.

If he had a regular pair of bloke's strides on then the loose hem would cover the shoes and disguise the evidence

Although he has got one of these covered:-

Something old, Something new, Something borrowed, Something blue

----------


## Edmond

> Thanks you guys. It was a special moment and as ootai said, had I opted out, I would have carried a huge regret. So the pain and stress was absolutely worth it. Once in a lifetime.
> 
> 
> 
> What is such a contrast is I am seeing my Mom who was diagnosed with stage 3 Pancreatic cancer. 3 months ago. So I have been balancing my time between both with very different emotions....


Missed this pic/post the first time. 

Big congrats J.  :tumbs:  Lovely pic and family time.

----------


## Joe 90

Cool pic JP, proud dad moment!


What's the food like on your vessel Mendip?

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> A small note of interest maybe... if you notice how the laundry room narrows with distance from where I was standing.... that's because it's located right at the bow of the boat. Every bit of space is used in a boat.


They put the laundry room at the bow of the ship so that they would not need to agitate the laundry as much during rough seas. LOL

----------


## David48atTD

> They put the laundry room at the bow of the ship so that they would not need to agitate the laundry as much during rough seas. LOL


When camping we used to put the washing in a barrel in the back of the car or better, in the trailer ... clothes washing done when reached the new destination  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

> What's the food like on your vessel Mendip?


Yup, mendip - how's the food? Food pics are appreciated.  :Smile:  

Btw, are the kitchen staff also Filipino? Or other? 

More words for you:

Magandang umaga = good/ beautiful morning

Magandang hapon = good afternoon 

Magandang gabi = good evening 

And if you want some giggles:

Maganda ka pa sa umaga = you're more beautiful than the morning!  :Wink:  

(pronounce with all short vowel sounds = no long vowel sounds in Filipino/ Tagalog) 

You can thank me later.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Maganda ka pa sa umaga = you're more beautiful than the morning!


I got a feeling that’s the last thing he needs on a long voyage!  ::doglol::

----------


## dirk diggler

> Bugger, bought you were about my age…


Funny, I never thought that  :Very Happy: 




> No way am I morbidly obese or even just normally obese... this has made me even more determined to sort it out.


Of course you're not, accidental can of worms there, I get that every time they pull the Thai BMI chart on me too.




> That's a messy desk Dirk!


Makeshift desk in my tool cabin. There is an abundance of company men on this job, at least 8. I guess they have them all out here learning during the quieter times. I've had to explain the intricate details of my tools so many times now I've become somewhat of a specialist myself! Anyway, the bastards have infiltrated the 3rd Party office/cabin, so no 3rd parties want to be in there.




> Here is my desk and I even have my own port hole (yes, they're not called windows on boats Dirk!).


Vessel.




> the Filipina stewardesses gives it a good wipe down every day.


Good girl (regardless of nationality).




> Btw I don't think you're obese (based on the pics), just a lil overweight. BMI is a height/weight thing, right? If you're 6 feet, then 107 kg isn't too bad (but losing weight is a good thing).


Ouch Katie, deep to the core. The BMI chart is already relevant of height to weight... 

... It just think's we're all skinny Thais. 

Or so I thought:

BMI calculator | Check your BMI - NHS

BMI Calculator | Bangkok Hospital

UK has me at 26.8 and suggests I'm overweight and should lose 4.3kg... and so does Thailand.

----------


## katie23

@dirk - sorry, no harm intended. The problem with BMI is that it doesn't differentiate from muscle weight or fat weight. A man who is muscular (or big boned, ahem) can be classified as overweight/ obese because of his muscle mass. I think Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) would be classed as overweight, given the BMI standards.

I think it's more accurate to consider the body fat percentage, but then you'd need calipers or tape measure for that.

Btw I'm not fat shaming anyone, but I encourage keeping a healthy weight, especially if one has genetic issues (which I have).

----------


## Saint Willy

> Funny, I never thought that 
> 
> 
> 
> Of course you're not, accidental can of worms there, I get that every time they pull the Thai BMI chart on me too.
> 
> 
> 
> Makeshift desk in my tool cabin. There is an abundance of company men on this job, at least 8. I guess they have them all out here learning during the quieter times. I've had to explain the intricate details of my tools so many times now I've become somewhat of a specialist myself! Anyway, the bastards have infiltrated the 3rd Party office/cabin, so no 3rd parties want to be in there.
> ...


Im not sharing my BMI, but it suggests I need to lose 5.3kgs

----------


## Mendip

Anyway... let's move on from BMI... I don't want to turn this into yet another failed weight loss thread!

I think we can all agree that BMI doesn't reflect your true body type.






> What's the food like on your vessel Mendip?





> Yup, mendip - how's the food? Food pics are appreciated.  
> 
> Btw, are the kitchen staff also Filipino? Or other? 
> 
> More words for you:
> 
> Magandang umaga = good/ beautiful morning
> 
> Magandang hapon = good afternoon 
> ...


Slow down Katie, I haven't tried out 'Salamat' yet. I think if I try out 'Maganda ka pa sa umaga' on my favourite stewardess this may end up being a very short trip. I need the work.

The food is always pretty awful on Norwegian vessels, but luckily we have a Filipino night cook as part of the _galley_ staff... this is a boat Katie and you have to get more nautical.

There is a meal every 6 hours to cover all shifts and on this boat each meal is very much geared up to the day shift, ie. a breakfast, lunch and dinner at 6am, midday and 6pm. The midnight meal is usually a rehash of parts of the dayshift meals.

All Norwegian boats do a fry up for the 6am meal despite work carrying on 24 hours a day, and Randy (our Filipino night cook) has no choice but to make this (as instructed). As I'm on a midnight to midday shift, the 6am meal is my main one and I don't really want a fry-up. Randy also puts together Asian soups and stuff, mainly for his Filipino colleagues but I generally go for that. Not only are Norwegian style fry-ups awful but I don't want to get into that habit if this is going to be such a long trip. 

I also get my fellow dayshift geos to plate up the evening meal (6pm) if it's half decent so that I can microwave it later. There should be no difference between day shift and night shift food, and there isn't on larger construction vessels, but on these smaller ROV/survey/inspection vessels there always is, especially in Norway.

So breakfast for me is usually a re-heated midnight meal (if it was nice) or a re-heated evening meal if one of my colleagues remembered to put a plate aside. I've told them anything with fish, lamb or peas should be plated up for me.

In addition to the breakfast fry-up there is always a salad bar and they also put out some cold fish and meat cuts. With some soup this can be OK. I'll try and get some food pics but there's a fine line between posting interesting content and having the piss ripped out of me for photographing my food.

Some cold cuts from yesterday's breakfast... but tbh I took this pic more to show Heidrun's old concrete hull and the myriad of risers ( vertical white pipes). Each riser has ascended from the seabed 350m below where it had connected to one of the many flowlines from the many satellite production wells in the field. Some degree of processing occurs on the platform before the product returns to the seabed via an export riser and is then pumped ashore via export pipelines.

----------


## bsnub

> I'll try and get some food pics but there's a fine line between posting interesting content and having the piss ripped out of me for photographing my food.


 :rofl: 

Love the pix and info about the ship mate! Good stuff!

----------


## Edmond

> I think it's more accurate to consider the body fat percentage, but then you'd need calipers or tape measure for that.


Can also get weighing scales with an impendance meter that measure body fat %, muscle, water and bone mass.

https://www.decathlon.co.th/en/p/848...ter-glass.html

Uses electrical pulses, or some sort of satanic wizardry to make you use it once then shove it into the spare room in a huff.

----------


## beerlaodrinker

> Yea, you're just 'big-boned' . . .


Wheres Dill when you need him.

South Beach Diet

----------


## dirk diggler

I know what you mean about finishing shift and only having a breakfast option. I always go keto when I’m offshore as there is plenty to choose from and when I finish shift I go straight for a shower then bed without eating. 

So basically intermittent fasting on a Keto diet. An hour in the gym after I wake up but before I eat and I feel pretty good when I hit the beach.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> South Beach Diet


Beached whale diet would be more apt.

I'm surprised no one's called Greenpeace or chucked him overboard yet.

----------


## Neverna

> Beached whale diet would be more apt.
> 
> I'm surprised no one's called Greenpeace or chucked him overboard yet.



How's your diet and exercise regime going, Dill?

----------


## bsnub

> How's your diet and exercise regime going, Dill?


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

Salad and cold cuts looks ok to me.

----------


## Stumpy

> Beached whale


Hiya Dill, welcome back.   :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

The prodigal son.

----------


## Mendip

> Beached whale diet would be more apt.
> 
> I'm surprised no one's called Greenpeace or chucked him overboard yet.


I thought we were veering away from diet talk on this thread... it's a work thread!

But coincidentally I saw a minke whale a couple of days ago and a few other people have seen it as well... it seems to be hanging around the Heidrun platform. It's never around when I've got my camera handy.

----------


## katie23

Welcome back, Dill! (if it's you)

@mendip - I've had that "maganda ka pa sa umaga" thrown at me by colleagues/ friends. For us (Filipinos), it's just a type of flattery and/or word play - another way of saying "magandang umaga" (good morning). But yeah, you must have some rapport or camaraderie with the person. We don't say it to total strangers.

Start with "salamat", then "magandang umaga/ gabi" (good morning/ evening) You'll get surprised looks or giggles.

Btw thanks for the food pic. You could tell your colleagues that you're taking pics for your Instagram followers if they notice your photos!  :Very Happy:

----------


## David48atTD

^ 




More fun discussing your BMI though.

----------


## baldrick

> Uses electrical pulses, or some sort of satanic wizardry to make you use it once then shove it into


is the probe insertion uncomfortable ?

----------


## Joe 90

Is there a gym on board Mendip?

----------


## Saint Willy

He’s not allowed to use it for 2 weeks. A likely story!

----------


## Edmond

Mendy's real job is as a ballast.

----------


## Headworx

> More fun discussing your BMI though.


So we've accepted the milking stool under his desk is actually a *_footrest*_ and that topic is closed?  :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

> and that topic is closed?


well it might end up being a ballsack rest after 8 weeks at sea if the cute women on board decide he is too fat to fcuk

----------


## Shutree

> Nah, I don't know why people generally use 'boat' rather than 'ship' for this work, but they do.


Just catching up on your excellent thread. Very interesting for those of us who have never been involved in offshore work. Interesting, although not really making me wish I was there.  :Smile: 

I don't know the specific differences between boats and ships, I suppose Google has an answer. The one thing I do remember is that many years ago for reasons lost to history I had a trip in a Royal Navy minesweeper. It was not particularly big and it is possible I called it a boat. The officers on board explained to me that the Royal Navy _only_ has ships. This was stated in terms that suggested I should commit the fact to memory. So I did.

----------


## panama hat

> well it might end up being a ballsack rest after 8 weeks at sea if the cute women on board decide he is too fat to fcuk


Luckily he has a gym . . . oh, which he can't use.

----------


## Mendip

> Is there a gym on board Mendip?


Yes, mate... this boat has a pretty good gym (I seem to remember).




> He’s not allowed to use it for 2 weeks. A likely story!


Onsigners aren't allowed in the gym for the first week onboard and that's an unbreakable Covid rule (I sense your doubt). Believe me, I've pleaded to be allowed down there but it's not gonna happen until Wednesday.

Furthermore, I can't go walking around the helideck because we've been working close to the Hiedrun platform since we arrived on site... all platforms have a 500m safety zone and if you're working within the safety zone you have to wear full PPE to go outside. Everything is conspiring against me.

And of course there's my ongoing personal problem but I think I've found a solution on Amazon. I just need to find someone I know coming on next crew change to send them to.







> Start with "salamat", then "magandang umaga/ gabi" (good morning/ evening) You'll get surprised looks or giggles.
> 
> Btw thanks for the food pic. You could tell your colleagues that you're taking pics for your Instagram followers if they notice your photos!



Thanks for your continued sensible interest Katie... I'm still building up to try 'Salamat'!

Instagram!!! I'm not a teenager Katie... LOL.

If I told anyone I was taking food pics for my 'Instagram' I'd be laughed off the boat. I'll just continue to take surreptitious pics when no-one's looking.

Today I took a few sneaky pics at 6am... this is why I avoid the Norwegian breakfast.



In some ways such a bad breakfast is a good thing. British boats always do a fantastic Full English (Scottish?) with proper sausages, back bacon and black pudding. This was fine when I was younger, fitter and slimmer but I really don't want one every morning these days. I'm only human and if a Full English is sat in front of me I have to eat it... I'm glad not to be put in that situation.

To be fair to the Filipino night cook, he will have been instructed to leave the cold, crispy streaky bacon soaking in the cold, congealing fat... that's the Norwegian way. The little spherical things are fish balls, by the way.



Next along is this selection. I usually love a bowl of porridge... but they always place the baked beans tray seaward of the porridge tray and it's rare to get a bowl of porridge that hasn't had a few beans dropped in. I must admit if I ever get any bean spillage I also stir them into the porridge while no-one's looking.

Looks like they've been tapping into Chitty's supply of frozen roast spuds as well.



But the last tray along is where I head straight to these days... along with some cold cuts this does the job. 

I'll be in the 90s in no time at all.

----------


## ootai

> Mendy's real job is as a ballast.


I thought I was a bit harsh on him with my comment about his BMI
BUT
You have taken it to a whole new very cruel level.

----------


## Shutree

Salad certainly looks favourite there.

----------


## Stumpy

Mendy....I gotta say that food looks like cheap slop.  Looks like some of the stuff you posted living in Isaan.  

Drink more, eat less...  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Salad certainly looks favourite there.


I would have the Whale meat once a week.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ I think so Shutree.

I'm trying to ignore the many hurtful comments being made on this thread but it's not easy. 

I'll just have to lose weight... that'll show 'em.

----------


## Shutree

> I'm trying to ignore the many hurtful comments being made on this thread but it's not easy.
> 
> I'll just have to lose weight... that'll show 'em.


Motivation. They are just offering some tough love.  :Wink: 

I had heard tales of lavish cuisine offshore. Clearly your vessel never got that message. Maybe it was always a myth? Anyway, the salad actually looks quite good.

----------


## helge

> Clearly your vessel never got that message.


Maybe they never got the right cook ?

----------


## ootai

Mendip
In my eyes the food offering/s you showed look great there is something in amongst all that for any fussy eater.
I assume they offer bread for making toast, cause you can't eat cold toast which it would be if they made it.

Also is there a microwave there that you could use, that would solve the cold bacon issue.
I could see myself making a nice burgers with those things that are in there with the bacon and fish balls.  If they provide bread that is.

Also I would be a bit wary of those digital caps as if you read the final comment they sound inserts for a blow up doll i.e. "Fully lined with medical grade mineral gel to surround, soothe, moisturise and protect."

Keep smiling it only another 116 days until Christmas when you can see you daughter and dogs again.

----------


## nidhogg

To be fair, I have had waaaaay worse breakfast buffets in Nakon Nowhere upcountry hotels.  Look like enough variety to keep it interesting for a few days.  After that mind.....

----------


## Headworx

> The little spherical things are fish balls, by the way.


Jeez, them Nowegians don't waste any part of their fish do they. 

Sorry mate but that food looks like something that definitely wouldnt be easy to look forward to at meal times, the salad bar looks passable if the galley could cook to order a decent steak to put on the side though..

----------


## OhOh

No visible sapalot, (pineapple) other fruits, pancakes/maple syrup either. Poor show.

Which nation's offshore ships have the best food?

----------


## helge

> Which nation's offshore ships have the best food?


Russia

From my years on the Novaya Zemlja ferry:



'Offshore ships'

 :Smile:

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> Russia
> 
> From my years on the Novaya Zemlja ferry:
> 
> 
> 
> 'Offshore ships'


They had  a lot of picture of food like that?   or were you a member of the the Politburo ?  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

Malaysia was the best food offshore I've had, the cooks would do Malay/Asian and Western spreads for each meal. 7 times of 10 I'd get half- half, something like spicy noodles on the side of roast chicken. Onshore was Australia, by far.

----------


## helge

> were you a member of the the Politburo ?


Yes
But we never allowed ourselves better treatment than the average worker

----------


## dirk diggler

> Which nation's offshore ships have the best food?


I was always told that Norway did. Although that is probably for rigs rather than boats. I worked a cementing job on the COSL Pioneer a few years back. It had crept into Scottish waters from Norway to assist with Phase 2 Drilling for the Buzzard Platform. The Chefs were Michelin rated.

The best boat I worked on was the EDT Jane which we sailed out of Cyprus for an Israel job. The galley crew were Ukrainian and the food was absolutely mouth watering stuff. 




> Onshore was Australia, by far.


The Aussies don't mess around when it comes to feeding the boys (and girls). You know you're putting on weight when you score an Aussie job.

Butler Camp on Barrow Island comes to mind. Every morning after breakfast you go into a huge room just loaded with every kind of food imaginable and you stock up on as much as you can carry to bring to site for lunch. After work you can either get showered and clean to go into the galley or straight to the outdoor BBQ area for a huge buffet and maximum 4 mid-strength beers before retiring for a shower and sleep.

That place had swimming pools, basketball courts, futsal pitches, the lot.

----------


## armstrong

Half a plate of that crispy bacon, few potatoes and cover it in beans and you're sorted. Lovely.

----------


## Edmond

> crispy bacon





> beans


Done.


Just add Leo.

----------


## armstrong

Perfecto

----------


## David48atTD

> Just add Leo.


Isn't that a condiment?

Essential for flavouring and fluid intake?

----------


## David48atTD

> I don't know the specific differences between boats and ships


Crew it yourself ... it's a boat.

Have a few 'crew' ... it's a ship?

----------


## bsnub

> Half a plate of that crispy bacon, few potatoes and *cover it in beans* and you're sorted.


 :Puke:

----------


## happynz

> Half a plate of that crispy bacon, few potatoes and cover it in beans and you're sorted.


To each their own, I guess. 

 :Shrug:

----------


## ootai

> To each their own, I guess.



Exactly.
According to me the food looks OK, according to JPPR2 its cheap slop, but then again he does fly business class and have a driver!

----------


## Joe 90

I think I'd settle for a bowl of cereal if they had any..

----------


## cyrille

Followed by a tray full of Aunt Bessie’s finest, surely?

----------


## nidhogg

> Crew it yourself ... it's a boat.
> 
> Have a few 'crew' ... it's a ship?


Linguistically, there is no clear separation.   Lots of "rules of thumb" (as in yours), but nothing more really than accepted common usage:  

A boat is something you get into when your ship sinks.
A boat is something that goes on a ship.
A ship has a commander and crew, a boat does not.
Ships have a V shaped hull, while boats have a flat.

But for any saying, there are dozens of exceptions.  Submarines are "boats" for example.  

Generally, generally, ships are bigger than boats (except some subs).....

----------


## Joe 90

I always thought it was the Captain or slang"skipper" was in charge?

Commander of the fleet sounds more appropriate.

----------


## cyrille

> I always thought it was the Captain or slang"skipper" was in charge?
> 
> Commander of the fleet sounds more appropriate.


Umm…what?

----------


## nidhogg

> I always thought it was the Captain or slang"skipper" was in charge?
> 
> Commander of the fleet sounds more appropriate.


Often, but not always a Captain.  PT Boats (a boat with a crew) could be commanded by an Ensign.

----------


## Joe 90

> Often, but not always a Captain.  PT Boats (a boat with a crew) could be commanded by an Ensign.


Commander of a submarine is correct.

Where you in the Navy?

----------


## Stumpy

> according to JPPR2 its cheap slop, but then again he does fly business class and have a driver!


 :smiley laughing: 

Standards ootai, we must have standards. I mean I could eat that food as a 1 time event but if that's what gets shoved out there every day for the entire time it would be tough.  It looks like jail food.... :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Lots of comments about the food... not so many about the challenging work we're doing.

But anyway...




> Mendy....I gotta say that food looks like cheap slop.  Looks like some of the stuff you posted living in Isaan.  
> 
> Drink more, eat less...


It may look like slop but there's nothing cheap in Norway. The contractors I work for have this vessel on long term charter and I'd hate to think how much the shipping company charge for victualing per person for a day... but I'm sure there wouldn't be much change out of 100 quid a day.

And if I stay for the duration my next drink won't be until December.





> I would have the Whale meat once a week.


I've never seen whale served on this vessel but I've worked on plenty of Norwegian boats that do serve it... I don't agree and don't eat it.




> Mendip
> In my eyes the food offering/s you showed look great there is something in amongst all that for any fussy eater.
> I assume they offer bread for making toast, cause you can't eat cold toast which it would be if they made it.
> 
> Also is there a microwave there that you could use, that would solve the cold bacon issue.
> I could see myself making a nice burgers with those things that are in there with the bacon and fish balls.  If they provide bread that is.


I think you've spent too long in Isaan if you think this looks good Ootai...

Yeah, we have a microwave and bread but it's still soggy, fat soaked bacon and a variety of other fried 'meats', and I think you'll find your nice burgers will taste distinctly fish-like if you make them using those flat, congealed round things. They ain't meat.

The point is I really don't want a crappy fry-up for my main meal of the day... my other meal is cereal or a bowl of Filipino soup for _my_ breakfast before I start shift at midnight. Try having a microwaved congealed bacon sarnie or fish burger every day for 3 months for your main meal... I'm not a fussy eater but that's shite.





> To be fair, I have had waaaaay worse breakfast buffets in Nakon Nowhere upcountry hotels.  Look like enough variety to keep it interesting for a few days.  After that mind.....


A few days maybe Nid... but a few weeks? And it ain't my breakfast, I'm on nights.





> Sorry mate but that food looks like something that definitely wouldnt be easy to look forward to at meal times, the salad bar looks passable if the galley could cook to order a decent steak to put on the side though..


As you know HW, the meals are one of the few things to look forward to when you're offshore... there should be some variety and the food should at least be palatable. I have the salad with a tin of fish or cold cuts... no chance of steak any time but 6pm on a Saturday night on this boat... while I sleep.





> No visible sapalot, (pineapple) other fruits, pancakes/maple syrup either. Poor show.
> 
> Which nation's offshore ships have the best food?


There is also a fruit bar... this boat has a good selection of fruit, I'll give them that.

For me the food on British boats takes some beating... proper sausages, lots of pies and you often get a hot pudding with custard. 

I once worked on an Italian boat in the Med... these guys took meal times seriously... you were expected to wear a shirt and it was great food with a glass of wine and this was long after North Sea boats had gone completely dry. That's all gone now of course... HSE is everywhere these days.





> Half a plate of that crispy bacon, few potatoes and cover it in beans and you're sorted. Lovely.


And I would enjoy that once in a while... but not every day. There's a reason sailors used to get scurvy.


Anyway, mustn't grumble... it'll be good for the weight loss. I'm not a fussy eater but like to eat healthily... I'll eat all sorts of Isaan food so long as it's not too hot and doesn't smell like rotten fish... I've even tried the wife's rat when she gets one from one of her 'country' friends. 

This was my last meal in Bangkok before flying out last Monday night... a week ago already!

I'd love a larb moo now.



It's also a week since my last alcohol... a glass of wine on the Lufthansa flight. This is definitely a good thing about being offshore... I have few completely dry days when I'm home and after 7 months of virtual lockdown the intake was going up and I started to get bit concerned I had a problem. But as soon as I got offshore I've not even thought about a drink and if I stay onboard for the duration it'll be 3 dry months. That has to be a good thing.

----------


## dirk diggler

I consulted a Captain friend:

----------


## Stumpy

> if I stay onboard for the duration it'll be 3 dry months. This has to be a good thing.


Depends who you ask... LOL.  But I think in your case it is a good thing.  Drinking Thai solvent with Leo chasers is not healthy and your liver will appreciate the break.....    :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

> I think in civilian terms it is just a matter of common sense and size


Just what I was thinking, funnily enough.

A giveaway was that everyone asking the question seemed to most likely know the answer.

----------


## Mendip

This thing I'm on is 95 metes long with gross tonnage of 6074. 

I'm sure it's big enough to be a ship but everyone refers to them as boats... 'what boat were you on?',  'what was the food like on that boat?' etc etc.

I think I'll go with 'vessel' for the rest of this thread to play it safe.

----------


## dirk diggler

I’m waiting patiently for a picture of the gym. 

Which means we will know when the hard work starts. 

Is there a half decent rec room? Cinema? Table tennis? Darts? Music room, games room, Sun beds, Sauna/steam room?*

*Many will think I’m taking the piss, but I’m not.

----------


## ootai

JPPR@ I agree that everyone should have standards but when it comes to food my a pretty low especially if I'm hungry.  My Missus reckons I would eat shit and say it tastes OK.

However having said that there are a lot of fussy fukkers that post on here.  When I used to live in the Single quarters while working in the mines there were lots of guys who used to complain about the food served in the mess then when you seen them away from the mess they would be eating total crap and reckoned it was lovely.





> It's also a week since my last alcohol... a glass of wine on the Lufthansa flight. This is definitely a good thing about being offshore... I have few completely dry days when I'm home and after 7 months of virtual lockdown the intake was going up and I started to get bit concerned I had a problem. But as soon as I got offshore I've not even thought about a drink and if I stay onboard for the duration it'll be 3 dry months. That has to be a good thing.


Mendip believe me just stopping your alcohol intake does not automatically mean weight loss.  I have been DRY for over 38 years now and I'm still a fat bastard.

To lose weight you have to make sure less calories go into your body than your body burns up, simple as that.

I must be one of the lucky ones who has never had problems with time zone changes or working odd hours. I just what is available when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired or get the opportunity.
Only issue I have ever had is sleeping in a moving conveyance i.e. car or plane so I am not sure about being on a boat full time. Does the motion of the sea make you/people sleep better or worse?

----------


## cyrille

> I'm sure it's big enough to be a ship but everyone refers to them as boats... 'what boat were you on?', 'what was the food like on that boat?' etc etc.


It's just like a term of affection though, don't you think?

Everyone knows they're ships.

----------


## Stumpy

> JPPR@ I agree that everyone should have standards but when it comes to food my a pretty low especially if I'm hungry. My Missus reckons I wo


See I am the opposite, if the food is terrible I won't eat it.  I might pick at it but I'd sooner pass.  Of course that decision is based on the belief better food will be available later. If all I was going to get was trays of cold, pressed, fake meat and caterer trays of frozen vegetables I would probably become a salad bar type for dinner and cereal Fruit type for lunch.  I don't eat bfast so that saves  me from one less walk by the slop trough every day.   :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

I’d walk by slops, the salads look good enough to me.

----------


## Saint Willy

Mind you, if they served steaks at 6pm, then I dunno, get out of bed and get one! (or two)

----------


## marcusb

> It looks like jail food....



You've been in much posher jails than me.   :Smile:   :Smile:

----------


## Topper

> You've been in much posher jails than me.


and me...

----------


## Loy Toy

Food is fuel and it beats me how an employer who needs to get the best out of their employees serve up shit grub like that.

I bet the vessel captain is not eating that shit.

----------


## Topper

> I bet the vessel captain is not eating that shit.


I'd bet the captain does have to eat the same food as prepared for the crew on most occasions.

----------


## helge

> I've never seen whale served on this vessel but I've worked on plenty of Norwegian boats that do serve it... I don't agree and don't eat it.


Well that little provocation didn't give me the responce I hoped for.

Must try harder  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> I'd bet the captain does have to eat the same food as prepared for the crew on most occasions.


I bet Mendip sits at the Captains table with a room like that.

Do they have a captains table on your Vessel Mendip or is that just posh cruise liners/ships/boats/tubs?

----------


## malmomike77

> There is also a fruit bar... this boat has a good selection of fruit, I'll give them that.


Never a shortage of fruits on a boat

----------


## panama hat

Ok, let's get a different perspective on the ship/boat thingy.  We have a saying that is roughly: A ship can transport a boat but a boat can't transport a ship. 
A boat is under 50m and a ship over.  (Bugger off about questions regarding a vessel that is exactly 50m)

Also, because it's German and therefore as precise as possible; in military parlance a ship has two senior officers - a Commander and a First Officer as it travels longer distances/further.  A boat only has a Commander.  

Submarines are different and are called boats because the size is calculated on what is beneath the water (obviously not while diving)

Never argue logic with a German. 




> Id walk by slops, the salads look good enough to me.


Ah, not so cocky now, ape-boy!  You've joined me on the meat-free side.   :Smile:   Your body will thank you

----------


## Stumpy

Hey Mendy, Speaking of the food. On your off time can you fish?  I'd be trying to hook me up some fresh fish then kick the chef a few bucks to cook it up for you and the big plus....you will not have to wade out and catch Snakehead fish and infect your toes..... :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> You've joined me on the meat-free side.  Your body will thank you


Oh I do not think KW joined you on the meat free side....

----------


## Stumpy

Last nite of Q'n in the wine country. Porterhouse and a ribeye with 3 baked taters drizzled in olive oil.  Thought Mendy would want to see some real food..... :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Oh I do not think KW joined you on the meat free side....


got that right! 




> Last nite of Q'n in the wine country. Porterhouse and a ribeye with 3 baked taters drizzled in olive oil.  Thought Mendy would want to see some real food.....



Thats just cruel  ::doglol::  I like this game but dont forget youre about to do two weeks Q start a thread  ::doglol:: 




> Ok, let's get a different perspective on the ship/boat thingy.  We have a saying that is roughly: A ship can transport a boat but a boat can't transport a ship. 
> A boat is under 50m and a ship over.  (Bugger off about questions regarding a vessel that is exactly 50m)
> 
> Also, because it's German and therefore as precise as possible; in military parlance a ship has two senior officers - a Commander and a First Officer as it travels longer distances/further.  A boat only has a Commander.  
> 
> Submarines are different and are called boats because the size is calculated on what is beneath the water (obviously not while diving)
> 
> Never argue logic with a German. 
> 
> ...



with a tin of tuna, cold meats or some of those nighttime steaks saved in his Mendy purse

----------


## Norton

> Often, but not always a Captain. PT Boats (a boat with a crew) could be commanded by an Ensign.


PT boats, Swift boats yes, a commisioned officer. River Patrol boats a non commisioned officer. 




> Where you in the Navy?


Yes.

----------


## Joe 90

Nice one Norts, nearest I got to the navy was sea cadets.
Fair enough they taught me how to polish my boots to a mirror shine and iron my trouser a dozen different ways.
Long way up, long way down salute :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> I’m waiting patiently for a picture of the gym. 
> 
> Which means we will know when the hard work starts. 
> 
> Is there a half decent rec room? Cinema? Table tennis? Darts? Music room, games room, Sun beds, Sauna/steam room?*


Wednesday night I can go to the gym... not long to wait now Dirk.

We have 3 day rooms... 2 non-smoking and 1 smoking. There's satellite TV and a media server... and guitars and keyboards for any that way inclined. This vessel has wifi throughout which is good but has killed the social side of things after shift. Most people retreat to their cabins at the end of shift and do what ever they do. I seem to spend most of my time updating this thread.

And yeah, every Norwegian boat has a sauna and sunbeds, although I think they'll be closed off due to Covid. I've just spent 7 months living in a sauna so it's of no interest to me.





> Mendip believe me just stopping your alcohol intake does not automatically mean weight loss.  I have been DRY for over 38 years now and I'm still a fat bastard.
> 
> To lose weight you have to make sure less calories go into your body than your body burns up, simple as that.
> 
> Does the motion of the sea make you/people sleep better or worse?


I'm glad if a few months dry Ootai more for the sake of my general health and liver, but it will also be good to vastly reduce my calorie intake. It seems that I can only dream about being a fat bastard since I seem to be the next level up at obese... but not for long.

I sleep well offshore... maybe it's the gentle rocking motion of the boat or maybe it's being away from the aggravations of married life? Unless we have a storm of course... then I sleep as badly as I do at home.





> I'd bet the captain does have to eat the same food as prepared for the crew on most occasions.


Yes, the skipper eats exactly the same as everyone else, although he does also get sandwiches delivered up to the bridge. I've yet to see that happen to the geo office. The state of the food is all doen to the skipper... he's the boss out here and should have a word with the Chief Steward... but that's not the Norwegian way.




> I bet Mendip sits at the Captains table with a room like that.
> 
> Do they have a captains table on your Vessel Mendip or is that just posh cruise liners/ships/boats/tubs?


I sit on one of the contractor's tables at meal times Joe... the Norwegian marine crew tend to sit at their own table and the Filipino crew members at their table. I don't think there's any segregation going on, but the Norwegians prefer to chat in Norwegian and the Filipinos in Tagalog (I think).

And it's not a 'room', it's a 'cabin'... we're on a boat and you have to get nautical.





> Never a shortage of fruits on a boat


Ha! Very good.





> A boat is under 50m and a ship over.  (Bugger off about questions regarding a vessel that is exactly 50m)


At 95 metres I've accepted that I'm on a ship but I'm still gonna call it a boat... maybe as Cyrille suggests out of endearment.





> Hey Mendy, Speaking of the food. On your off time can you fish?  I'd be trying to hook me up some fresh fish then kick the chef a few bucks to cook it up for you and the big plus....you will not have to wade out and catch Snakehead fish and infect your toes.....


Many years ago if we saw a lot of cod along a pipeline from the ROV video cameras we would get out on the back deck and bounce lures along the pipeline, behind the ROV operations. That kind of stuff has long gone now with HSE and now, even in West Africa you're not allowed to fish for the tuna... although rules do get relaxed in different parts of the world and depending on the skipper and Offshore Manager.

Anyway, enough food talk... I'm happy now as my day shift opposite number has started plating up the evening meal for me to have at breakfast time. I've got microwaved pan-fried cod today.

And to steer this back to work... this is our survey ROV just about to be launched. This is the latest generation of ROV and can do 4 knts (2 m/s) and has been a game changer for pipeline inspection and seabed mapping jobs. With this ROV, the data acquisition for these projects can now be completed a lot faster than traditionally, thus reducing vessel time and as a result this company is picking up a lot of work.

I'll get some decent pictures once we leave the 500 metre zone and I can get outside again.

----------


## Saint Willy

How many people would be on a rig like that at any one time?

----------


## Stumpy

Awesome Pics Mendy. Sea looks quite calm.

----------


## Edmond

> A ship can transport a boat but a boat can't transport a ship.




Daddy's home.

----------


## Headworx

> I sleep well offshore... maybe it's the gentle rocking motion of the boat or maybe it's being away from the aggravations of married life?


Probably a bit of both  :Smile: . But yeah, that really deep sleep that seems to come naturally at sea is fantastic! It never ceased to amaze me how large vessels get moved around (albeit gently) in the slightest of swells, especially if they're locked into a beam-on heading. It's funny seeing the promo shots of private small yachts and their dining tables set with fine china and crystal without a non-skid mat in sight, if even a small swell came thru the lot of it would be smashed on the floor in seconds!




> Unless we have a storm of course...


_Does anyone know where the love of God goes, when the waves turn the minutes to hours._

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ It's a platform, not a rig mate.

I have no idea how many would be onboard but I bet it's fewer than you'd expect. There's so much automation these days and a lot will be done from shore. PAG would have a good idea.

We have 49 onboard our vessel.


^^^ Yes, we've been lucky with the good weather and are making use of it to get all the 500 metre zone workscope finished up. The weather's due up at the end of the week with 5m seas forecast. We may be able to work through it but not close to the platform.

----------


## ootai

Now that you have mentioned 5m seas I don't think it would matter to me how good or bad the food is/was it wouldn't stay in my stomach long enough to matter.

Mendip are you stuck on nightshift permanently or do you rotate with someone?

Are you allowed to go to the galley while on shift? If you are why don't you go and make a plate for your "breakfast".

With 49 people on board it must surely feel cosy at times.

----------


## OhOh

> for pipeline inspection and seabed mapping jobs.


What is your project definition? Virgin seabed exploration, annul checkup  examinations .... ? 

From your previous "work post" you appeared to monitor the ROV cameras in real time, what if, "something unexpected" appears? 

Do you have a big red button marked, "STOP all Engines"? How often do you press it, just to make sure it works.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 



Do your ROVs take seabed samples, if so how frequently? Once onboard do you, being the Senior Geologist, analyse them or are they shipped ashore?

Lastly, how often do you lose a ROV?

----------


## dirk diggler

> It's a platform, not a rig mate.


Aye but when we're on them we call it the rig  :Very Happy: 

When I would work on offshore platforms during planned shutdowns there would be full or close to full POB (personnel on board), which could be around 150-300 or more depending on the size and capabilities of the platform.

As Mendip has stated, many are operated from shore now with minimum POB as possible on board.

----------


## Saint Willy

Thanks, I was going to ask the difference…

----------


## nidhogg

Mendip, please remember that all response to ohho will be reported back to the politbureau.....

----------


## OhOh

> the politbureau


They did send some medical advice regarding his toe nail. Unfortunately, it involved a CTM practice visit.

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip are you stuck on nightshift permanently or do you rotate with someone?
> 
> Are you allowed to go to the galley while on shift? If you are why don't you go and make a plate for your "breakfast".
> 
> With 49 people on board it must surely feel cosy at times.



Ootai, I'll probably stay on night shift for the duration as I hate changing shifts during a trip. It was my choice... midnight to midday is 5am to 5pm Korat time so I avoid any jet lag and it's good for keeping in touch with the daughter. Also, the vast majority of people on this boat are on 6-6 (days or nights) so I can avoid the busy times in the gym.

I could go to the galley and start cooking up a meal while on shift but it would be highly unusual and probably frowned upon since I'm supposed to be working. Now that I'm getting day food plated up for my 6am meal it's not a problem. But I still like to moan about it anyway... I'm a pom. 

A POB of 49 on this boat is low... I've worked here before with 70 or 80 on board for construction projects when riggers, welders, deck foremen etc will also join us. We have a small inspection/survey crew on at the moment as well... it can get a lot busier. These contractors are having a difficult time finding personnel... the industry has become very busy this year but Covid makes the logistics of crewing a ship almost impossible. We are one key person down now, since the day before he was due on board one of his kids was sent home from school because a class mate had Covid. This guy now had to self isolate and getting a last minute replacement was impossible due to the negative test requirement. 

This boat (ship) is 95 metres long and don't forget that the personnel are divided between shifts so many are sleeping at any one time. It's like a ghost ship at times. When I started doing this work 30 years ago we usually used old trawlers maybe 60 metres long... then it could get cosy (especially if there was a nice stewardess on board  :Smile: ).





> What is your project definition? Virgin seabed exploration, annul checkup  examinations .... ? 
> 
> From your previous "work post" you appeared to monitor the ROV cameras in real time, what if, "something unexpected" appears? 
> 
> Do you have a big red button marked, "STOP all Engines"? How often do you press it, just to make sure it works. 
> 
> Do your ROVs take seabed samples, if so how frequently? Once onboard do you, being the Senior Geologist, analyse them or are they shipped ashore?
> 
> Lastly, how often do you lose a ROV?


The vessel is actually doing riser, structure and pipeline inspection around the Heidrun field just now, ie. inspecting existing infrastructure. This is usually my bread and butter work but I don't have my inspection hat on for this trip. I'm working on a seabed mapping project for a new development... so mapping new 'virgin' seabed to find suitable pipeline/cable routes, locations for templates and anchors, etc etc. It is the same project in the Barents Sea I was working on last year (in my previous thread)... this contractor won the next phase of the work and being familiar with the project was just great. The data was acquired before I cme onboard and now I'm wading through it... this was going to be my 3 to 4 months work in the Norwegian office before Brexit put paid to that (thanks Boris you wanker).

The ROV crew and online surveyors will be watching the ROV camera footage in real time while performing the inspections but everything is recorded to digital video for later analysis and stuff.

I guess there will be an 'All stop' button somewhere but I doubt it will turn off the engines... that's the last thing you want in an emergency. I was once on a crappy old boat in West Africa that had a complete blackout... drifting beam on to the swell towards a platform with no power wasn't a nice experience.

Our workclass ROV could take samples if we had the tools to be held by the manipulator, but that's rarely our job. Another contractor on a dedicated vessel is currently carrying out a geotechnical campaign across the new development area I'm working on. This involves taking cores down to a depth of maybe 20 metres or so and carrying out a number of tests that measure soil shear strength, density, porosity, composition etc, all of which is valuable information for the engineers when considering anchorage, pipeline/cable trenching etc. The locations they perform the tests at are based on the survey/geophysical results from last year.

I have my geophysicist hat on for this trip... my job is to go through the acoustic sub-seabed data (same principal as the seismic data that exploration geos look at... but I'm interested in the top 20 metres below the seabed max, whereas they are looking kilometres below the seabed). I try and tie-in any  sedimentary horizons I find on the acoustic data with any available geotechnical results to give my interpretation some grounding. For example... I have a strong sedimentary boundary on the acoustic data that looks like the top of a hard glacial boulder clay... an important layer because it can't be trenched through... but it is only my interpretation and experience that makes me think this and there is no proof from just the acoustic data.

I checked the geotechnical data at a test location that was bang on one of my survey lines and a core test that would normally penetrate to 15 metres below the seabed stopped at 3 metres due to resistance... ie. a very stiff clay. My acoustic boundary at that location was suggested at 3m below the seabed... so now I know what that boundary represents and I can extend that grounding across the entire site. Without such grounding, entire projects can be just interpretation when 'possibly' is the most common word in the report. 

I guess those geotechnical results for me are the equivalent of Headworx's rotary lie detectors for the exploration geos.

And as for losing an ROV... it just doesn't happen these days. The vehicles are very slightly positively buoyant so if one did become detached from the umbilical for whatever reason, it would eventually float up to the surface. In the past this was a regular occurrence and it was common to launch the MOB boat to go and retrieve and escapee ROV. 

There's also a gas export pipeline in Norway with an ROV trapped beneath... it got too close to the touchdown point of the pipeline while it being laid and the pipeline went straight across it. That was in the 80s and the ROV is still there... those lay barges stop for nothing.


But anyway, back to the important stuff...

At 3am every morning the night cook puts out the stickies...

In a previous life I would have had a big slice of this stuff, it's really good.



But that was then and this is now. 

A spoonful of unroasted and unsalted nuts...



And a couple of pieces of fruit... there's even some raw turnip for the Scandinavians.



I'm taking this seriously and am going to win one of Dirk's pies.

I've been on board for a week now and no longer have to wear a mask, but most importantly I'm now allowed in the gym. At 10pm tonight, before my shift, it all starts. No more obese... fat bastard here I come!

----------


## Saint Willy

Good effort, Mendy! :strong:

----------


## bsnub

> there's even some raw turnip for the Scandinavians.


How do you eat your turnips? I love them raw as a snack or cut into a salad.

----------


## Stumpy

> No more obese... fat bastard here I come!


Go Mendy Go....

Btw. What is the latest on your dead toenails. 555. You lose more?  That pond will haunt you.

----------


## PAG

> How do you eat your turnips? I love them raw as a snack or cut into a salad.


Typically peeled, chopped and boiled until tender, then mashed with some butter and pepper.    In Scotland, known as 'Neeps'.

----------


## bsnub

> Typically peeled, chopped and boiled until tender, then mashed with some butter and pepper.


Interesting. Mashed turnips. Just may have to give that a try. I won't stop eating them raw, however I would miss them in salads.

----------


## aging one

I have heard of radishes in salad and enjoy them but never turnips snubs.

----------


## Edmond

> I have heard of radishes in salad and enjoy them but never turnips snubs.


I believe raw turnip salad was quite common in 18th century rural Vladivostok.

----------


## bsnub

> I have heard of radishes in salad and enjoy them but never turnips snubs.


Those are good raw and in salads too. I am actually a big fan of raw vegetables. I eat broccoli and cauliflower raw as well.

----------


## katie23

Sorry, but which is the turnip in post 292? What's the color/ colour? (serious question)

I googled turnip and the pics show me a white root crop with reddish part  (towards the leaves) - Brassica rapa. I think we don't have that in PH.

What we have is apparently Mexican turnip/ jicama (Pachyrhizus erosus), locally known as singkamas. We eat it raw as a snack, in salads, or sometimes as an ingredient in spring rolls or stir fry. 

I've also eaten kohlrabi (German turnip, Brassica oleracea) in Europe - it was in a stir fry dish. 

TIA

----------


## OhOh

> I'm working on a





> an important layer because it can't be trenched through..


Thanks for the insight.

And fresh fruit.

----------


## baldrick

> And it's not a 'room', it's a 'cabin'


erm - the room where the ships officers eat is the wardroom

I wus wun in my yoof

----------


## Edmond

> And it's not a 'room', it's a 'cabin'... we're on a boat and you have to get nautical.


On a boat you need to get nautical
Mendy skips along quite naughtiful. 
The maid cleans his cabin,
gets a good sweaty stabbin'
Til she cries out in pleasure 'My port is full'.

----------


## baldrick

^  sally brown ?




black flag was a fun game

----------


## bsnub

> I googled turnip and the pics show me a white root crop with reddish part (towards the leaves) - Brassica rapa. I think we don't have that in PH.


No Katie you do not have them in the PH. Turnips are similar to radishes. The turnip in that pic is most likely to the right of the carrots.

----------


## Klondyke

Mendip, very important to be aware of scorbutus, scurvy.

 In my young years I read about seamen staying for long months on ships, their teeth dropping out, a terrible disease. 

In order to cure it the ships loaded plenty of Sauerkraut, the best one stomped in large vats by young girls virgins (boys?). During the long trampling certain "natural" ingredient had been dropping out of the virgins that improved the efficacy...

Have you foreseen something like this?

----------


## David48atTD

> Mendip, very important to be aware of scorbutus, scurvy.
> 
>  In my young years I read about seamen staying for long months on ships, their teeth dropping out, a terrible disease. 
> 
> In order to cure it the ships loaded plenty of Sauerkraut, the best one stomped in large vats by young girls virgins (boys?). During the long trampling certain "natural" ingredient had been dropping out of the virgins that improved the efficacy...
> 
> Have you foreseen something like this?



James Lind: The man who helped to cure scurvy with lemons



James  Lind is remembered as the man who helped to conquer a killer disease.  His reported experiment on board a naval ship in 1747 showed that  oranges and lemons were a cure for scurvy. But why did the Royal Navy,  which celebrates the tercentenary of Lind's birth on 4 October 2016,  take nearly half a century to act on his findings?


For 18th Century sailors, disease during long sea voyages was often more dangerous than enemy action.


One  British expedition to raid Spanish holdings in the Pacific Ocean *in the  1740s* lost 1,300 of an original complement of 2,000 men to illness.

The  commander, George Anson, said "almost the whole crew" was afflicted by  symptoms including a "luxuriancy of funguous flesh... putrid gums and...  the most dreadful terrors".

Many  sailors suffered "a strange dejection of the spirits" and lay immobile,  while others who "resolved to get out of their hammocks, have died  before they could well reach the deck".

James Lind: The man who helped to cure scurvy with lemons - BBC News

----------


## David48atTD

In a Mendy thread we cover the virtual rainbow of discussion points  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Klondyke, no, in 30 years of working at sea I haven't yet come across nubile young, naked virgins trampling sauerkraut but I will live in hope that the practise is re-introduced. I'll suggest it to the OM.

^^ They also used lime juice to prevent scurvey hence Brits are still known as 'Limeys' in The States'.

We have loads of limes in the garden... I should have brought a few along.

----------


## baldrick

vitamin c -  eat your broccoli raw

----------


## Saint Willy

> black flag was a fun game


Sure was.

----------


## nidhogg

> Mendip, very important to be aware of scorbutus, scurvy.
> 
>  In my young years I read about seamen staying for long months on ships, their teeth dropping out, a terrible disease. 
> 
> In order to cure it the ships loaded plenty of Sauerkraut, the best one stomped in large vats by young girls virgins (boys?). During the long trampling certain "natural" ingredient had been dropping out of the virgins that improved the efficacy...
> 
> Have you foreseen something like this?


To my surprise, there is a kernel of truth in this.  Sauerkraut was indeed one of the foods tested by Captain James Cook as part of a British navy attempt to solve the problems of scurvy.

Magical Sour Cabbage: How Sauerkraut Helped Save the Age of Sail - Modern Farmer

As to the strange sexual add-on, think Klondyke has been reading some weird fetish porn.

----------


## Saint Willy

> As to the strange sexual add-on, think Klondyke has been reading some weird fetish porn.


Very, and that was one of his more comprehensible posts...

----------


## panama hat

> As to the strange sexual add-on, think Klondyke has been reading some weird fetish porn.


You 'think'?  I'd say it's a certainty and at his age that's probably why he is so angry.






> Very, and that was one of his more comprehensible posts...


Surprising, really . . . not one anti-western tirade in the post.






> erm - the room where the ships officers eat is the wardroom
> 
> I wus wun in my yoof


You wuz a wardroom?

----------


## dirk diggler

> Typically peeled, chopped and boiled until tender, then mashed with some butter and pepper.    In Scotland, known as 'Neeps'.


Canna eat neeps withoot huggis n tatties. Whisky sass.

----------


## dirk diggler

When I was a loon we got turnips instead of pumpkins at Hallowe'en. Took a week to carve it into a Jack-o'-Lantern with a scalpol.

----------


## Headworx

> I have my geophysicist hat on for this trip... my job is to go through the acoustic sub-seabed data (same principal as the seismic data that exploration geos look at... but I'm interested in the top 20 metres below the seabed max, *whereas they are looking kilometres below the seabed*)


Mendip I hope you don't mind me adding this, but some might find it interesting knowing a little bit about how oil-well positions are determined   and seeing as you've got your Geophysicist hat on now and there's the makings of an anticline going on..  :Smile:  

Just in case anyone's wondering what seismic data looks like kilometers under the surface, here's a 2D slice out of a 3D cube that represents around 25 km in length (left to right) and roughly 4,500 meters or 15,000 ft in depth (top to bottom) but as I'm too lazy to go looking for the exact acquisition parameters and velocities (which I shouldn't still have on my Hard Drive anyway) they're just ballpark numbers. This is seismic data in its rawest possible form (known as a Brute Stack) and only used as a daily QC tool to see everything is working properly while production is ongoing, the final sections and cubes produced by onshore processing centers who have the time, very highly qualified personnel, and extremely expensive computing power/software to enhance the data to its full potential is incomparably superior. I can see glimpses of deep structures trying to peek through that would look fantastic once processed properly, the shallow data is very evident and interesting though. 

Your typical Oil Co. Exploration Geophysicist would be talking to the Exploration Manager and Drilling Department immediately after seeing data like this, after having had a wank of course assuming he was the one who designed the exploration program then got the approval/money from above to do it and after having blown an alarming amount of millions of shareholders cash on failed projects lately  :Smile: 



Just to simplify what I meant by a 2D slice from a 3D cube because I know it's a bit confusing, if a seismic contractor did a (say)  1000 square kilometer survey the final product they'd give the Oil Company is a digital 3D cube, imagine a multi layered square or rectangular cake if you will. And you have the software and huge screens to be able to rotate that cake, slice into it anywhere you want, cut it in half, or quarters, or hundredths, colour different layers in so you can follow them easily, and look at any part of inside it from any angle you chose. The image above would be like cutting a slice somewhere in it length-ways, and having a look.

----------


## katie23

Headworx: was that what you were doing in Myanmar in the 90s? (or was it 80s) looking for oil?  if that was you - I can't recall if that was you who posted old pics in my Myanmar pic thread.

@bsnub - thnx for the info. The radishes that we have here are the white radish (long), but I've seen the round red radish in colder climes.

I can't imagine radish being boiled & mashed, but whatever floats your boat! (or vessel)   :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> Headworx: was that what you were doing in Myanmar in the 90s? (or was it 80s) looking for oil?


Yes it was, and looking for oil/gas there in the 80's is what we were doing.

----------


## katie23

^cool! So my memory is still good. That pic thread and Myanmar trip was >4 years ago. Fond memories of that trip. It's sad to think about Myanmar's situation now.

During that time, the hotel staff in Yangon (young people) were so hopeful about their country, since they've just had democracy & elections a few months before. Now it's back to military rule again. Sigh...

----------


## David48atTD

> Just to simplify what I meant by a 2D slice from a 3D cube because I know it's a bit confusing,


Like taking a slice of bread out of a loaf?  2D slice of a 3D loaf

----------


## panama hat

I can see Jesus in the picture . . . 








> Just to simplify what I meant by a 2D slice from a 3D cube because I know it's a bit confusing, if a seismic contractor did a (say) 1000 square kilometer survey the final product they'd give the Oil Company is a digital 3D cube, imagine a multi layered square or rectangular cake if you will. And you have the software and huge screens to be able to rotate that cake, slice into it anywhere you want, cut it in half, or quarters, or hundredths, colour different layers in so you can follow them easily, and look at any part of inside it from any angle you chose. The image above would be like cutting a slice somewhere in it length-ways, and having a look.


This is simplified????  

But seriously, it's fascinating, thank you

----------


## Mendip

^ Isn't it just PH!





> Mendip I hope you don't mind me adding this, but some might find it interesting knowing a little bit about how oil-well positions are determined ..


Of course not HW, this is what this thread should be all about... not food and failed diets.

You obviously work with proper geos... I wouldn't know where to start interpreting 3D seismic data.

But... deep seismics or my shallow sub-bottom profiler data... it's all the same principal of sending sound waves down through the ground and measuring the two way travel time (transducer to layer and back again) of the sound waves reflecting back from horizons within the rock or sediment. Once you have set a sound velocity for each rock or sediment layer the travel time can be accurately converted to distance. The difference is, your guys will propagate low frequency sound waves  (20 to 50 Hz?) to get penetration of many thousands of metres but at low resolution whereas I work with high frequency sound waves (1 to 10 kHz) to get high resolution but penetration of only 20 to 30m.

I guess you've shown me yours HW so now it's my turn...

This is typical sub-bottom profiler data that I work with. Vertical lines are 100m apart, horizontal lines are 5m apart. The top-most line with a red overlay is the seabed.

This data was from an old project but with similar shallow geology to the project I'm currently working on. The lower strong continuous horizon across the record around 10m below seabed represents the top of a glacial boulder clay... this is always the layer of interest in Norwegian projects because the boulder clay is as hard as fukk and full of boulders, and is of concern for platform foundations and for pipeline/cable routes. It can't be trenched through and if outcropping at the seabed will cause freespans (unsupported sections of pipelines or cables) because it is so unyielding. During the last ice age the ice sheet sat on the boulder clay for several thousand years during glaciation, the weight of the ice compressing and over-consolidating the underlying sediment. We always always like to see a few metres of soft sediment overlying the boulder clay.



And typical geotechnical results we try and tie in to the acoustic data. Here you can see the CPT (Cone Penetration Test) probe stopped abruptly at 3m depth, on hitting the boulder clay. We need geotech to give some grounding to the interpretation of the acoustic data. So, for the data above, I'd be hoping to see geotech results showing a hard clay at around 10m depth... if not I'd have to start thinking my interpretation again.

----------


## Headworx

> Like taking a slice of bread out of a loaf? 2D slice of a 3D loaf


To describe the screenshot I posted, that's a very good way to put it David! Here's a couple of representation pics that might make things a little clearer, the first shows a Marine seismic vessel acquiring data and the end-product 3D cube under it. Of course it doesn't happen in real-time like this and the cube is weeks or months away from being ready once acquisition ends, but it still shows what's going on and perhaps makes my _layered cake_ comparison a little less nutty. The top of the cube is the ocean bottom obviously, then we are looking at what's going on for thousand of meters under the sea bed.



And here's a cube being pulled apart on someone's screen to follow layers and really see what's going on down there, there's no limits to what the software allows explorations teams to digitally dissect hoping to find what might be hydrocarbon bearing layers or traps. The data in these examples is text-book stuff, and completely insane. 






> I can see Jesus in the picture . . .


And if you asked 5 Geophysicists what they saw you'd get 5 different answers too! This is where the rotary lie detector comes into play, which is also known as a drill rig. I see 1 or 2 vertical well locations that might be interesting and 1 directional well location where the drill would go down to about 2200 meters before taking a right hand turn and continuing along between those 2 layers. Keep in mind, these layers would typically all be pretty much flat and the big question is what's made them dip or rise or overlap each other or create _faults_ in any given areas over millions of years, or not a day over 6000 years if you're a Jesus wheezer  :Smile: 
 Also keep in mind hydrocarbons are typically under extreme pressures, or most certainly have been at some stage of their development, so if you start putting 2 and 2 together...  




> You obviously work with proper geos...


Ohhh yes, quite a few _very_ good ones too including 2 Presidents of the SEG (Society of Exploration Geophysicists), and a large number of muppets who didn't know their arse from their elbow as well. Young guys who say "but in University we learned.." are the worst, fuck the classroom theory Son and welcome to the real world with real money being risked.    




> But... deep seismics or my shallow sub-bottom profiler data... it's all the same principal of sending sound waves down through the ground and measuring the two way travel time (transducer to layer and back again) of the sound waves reflecting back from horizons within the rock or sediment. Once you have set a sound velocity for each rock or sediment layer the travel time can be accurately converted to distance. The difference is, your guys will propagate low frequency sound waves (20 to 50 Hz?) to get penetration of many thousands of metres but at low resolution whereas I work with high frequency sound waves (1 to 10 kHz) to get high resolution but penetration of only 20 to 30m.


Nailed it, including the lower frequencies used to penetrate far deeper due to their longer wave length. To be honest, when you look at the reflection seismic method it proababy shouldn't work! Ok we can easily get a grip on something like depth sounders on boats sending a pulse down and seeing how long it takes to hit the ocean floor and return to the surface, we know salt water has a velocity of roughly 1500 m/s so it's no rocket science to calculate that and show us any raises and dips along the way in a nice display, might even spot a few fish too! But to start putting enough energy into the water or ground to penetrate 10,000+ meters into the earth and reflect all the different layers of unknown velocities back to the surface with the resolution and accuracy to put a drill rig on top of some target miles under the ground and expect success?. Get the fuck out of here!  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> This is typical sub-bottom profiler data that I work with.


I've always assumed the pipeline route are straight, from a to b.

It appears they wriggle around to find the way around the "detected" hard spots.

Thank you both.

----------


## mudcat

re turnips and radishes - Southern Mexico has a specific night (December 23rd) to honor the local member of the Brassicacae family

----------


## katie23

^wow. Is that La Virgen de Guadalupe made from radishes/ turnips? Very creative!

----------


## dirk diggler

> But to start putting enough energy into the water or ground to penetrate 10,000+ meters into the earth and reflect all the different layers of unknown velocities back to the surface with the resolution and accuracy to put a drill rig on top of some target miles under the ground and expect success?. Get the fuck out of here!


And then there’s the wildcatters, who cheap out on you guys by skipping the process completely, and just go around drilling random holes in an attempt to get lucky. 

Mad bastards.

----------


## bsnub

> Is that La Virgen de Guadalupe made from radishes/ turnips?


Yes it is.

----------


## Saint Willy

Back to Mendy, where’s the gym photos? The walking around the heli deck, the push ups in your cabin??? Huh? Huh?

----------


## armstrong

> Back to Mendy, where’s the gym photos? The walking around the heli deck, the push ups in your cabin??? Huh? Huh?


He's explained both the gym and the helideck.

----------


## CalEden

Hey Mendy, can you use Hand Grenades to get deep seismics or shallow sub-bottom profiler data?

----------


## Joe 90

What qualifications did you get to become a Geologist,  starting with 0 level, A level, degree etc?
When, why and how did you get into that line of business. 

Nosey fooker ain't I?

Only asking coz my eldest is taking A level Maths, Physics and Geography so in theory a career in Geology might be an option?

Cheers

----------


## helge

> Hey Mendy, can you use Hand Grenades to get deep seismics or shallow sub-bottom profiler data?


I'm not sure irish politics is in Mendip's job description.

 :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> I've always assumed the pipeline route are straight, from a to b.
> 
> It appears they wriggle around to find the way around the "detected" hard spots.
> 
> Thank you both.


OhOh, it's no different to laying a pipeline across land... a straight line is obviously favourable because it uses less pipe and is therefore cheaper, but is rarely possible. Topography will be the first consideration and then soil conditions. You need to avoid obvious hazards such as bedrock outcrop or ship wrecks, but also buried bedrock or boulder clay just below the seabed is best avoided. On the shore approaches in Norway you are limited to using the various fjords that provide a route between rock and many pipelines use the same route corridors.





> Hey Mendy, can you use Hand Grenades to get deep seismics or shallow sub-bottom profiler data?


It's not something I have experience of, but I'm pretty sure a hand grenade wouldn't release nearly enough energy for HW's deep seismics but it could maybe be used for my shallow SBP data. Occasionally when we're working a seismic vessel will pass by towing it's kilometres of streamers and even if the boat is a couple of kilometres away you can feel the 'booms' of the airguns rattle through our boat. It can't do the marine life any good.





> What qualifications did you get to become a Geologist,  starting with 0 level, A level, degree etc?
> When, why and how did you get into that line of business. 
> 
> Nosey fooker ain't I?
> 
> Only asking coz my eldest is taking A level Maths, Physics and Geography so in theory a career in Geology might be an option?
> 
> Cheers


I would warn your eldest that the food often ain't so good offshore... oh hang on, that shouldn't be a problem!  :Smile: 

I had an O level in geology and was just lucky that my comp offered geology and had two very good geology teachers. My A levels were Geology, Geography and Biology. My interest had always been biology and had wanted to be a vet until early on I realised I would never get the grades.

My first attempt at further education was at Leeds Poly where I started a course in Environmental Health, but soon realised that it wasn't for me. I dropped out, returned home and started working at a mushroom farm in the village. I soon got promoted from cutting mushrooms to being the van driver and all was good until my parents started charging me extortionate rent to stay at home and I couldn't make ends meet... they of course only did this to force me away and do something with my life (the best thing they ever did for me with hindsight).

I was never that academic and only decided on a geology degree because I couldn't think of anything else... and scraped a 2-2 in geology at Southampton Uni. I started doing joint geology with biology so I could avoid the geophysics modules as I found the maths so difficult... but converted to straight geology in the final year. Now I spend a lot of time working as a geophysicist (although not a proper one like HW is used to)... it's funny how things work out.

----------


## Mendip

This has got a bit serious... I thought maybe people would be interested to see a typical geo I work with out here...







> Back to Mendy, where’s the gym photos? The walking around the heli deck, the push ups in your cabin??? Huh? Huh?


Once I had been on board for a week I was allowed to walk around the boat with no mask, to use the public toilets and most importantly, to use the gym. Wednesday night was my first session and I completed my second session tonight before shift.

This is our gym.



And from the opposite direction.



This is where my genius of taking a 12-12 night shift comes into play... almost the entire rest of the boat are doing 6-6 shifts and the gym gets very crowded a couple of hours either side of 6am and 6pm. I get it to myself at 10pm... but wonder at times if after spending 7 months sitting alone with my dogs in the garden at home I have now become a complete recluse.

There's a door off the gym leading to the sauna... a nice way to relax after a winter shift and to prepare for sleep.



And the sun room. I can never figure out, with the constant drive for safety, how sun beds are allowed offshore. The majority of Norwegian vessels have them and it's no surprise that Norway is only behind Australia and New Zealand for skin cancer rates.



And if you're interested, there's a shower and toilet as well.



If you're wondering what the sign on the toilet door says...



It seems like someone hasn't been flushing their turds... and yes, it's a boat full of adults.

I'm not one to generalise but after many years experience of working on these boats my suspicion leans towards a Norwegian being the guilty party. I've found that the Norwegians often leave the pan in a terrible state, closely followed by the Scots. I'm not saying we English are perfect, we have our faults but we do tend to keep a clean toilet bowl.

Anyway, this was my view from the treadmill tonight. It was Norwegian commentary and I'd forgotten my glasses and started supporting the red and white team until Harry Kane headed in a goal and I realised England were in blue.




But back to work... we now have typical Norwegian summer weather. We will soon be completing our work scope at Heidrun and then it's off to the Kristin Field.



And here is our work class ROV on the back deck. The survey ROV, which is what this spread is all about, has it's own dedicated hangar. You can see the Heidrun B FSU (Floating Storage Unit) in the background.

----------


## Stumpy

Nice gym area Mendy. I wish I had access to one.  I miss my Home gym system.

----------


## beerlaodrinker

Another burster of a thread mendip. Enjoying it. Crack on.hope they find the low bastards leaving Floaters in the brasco

----------


## Saint Willy

Miserable weather…no wonder the Skandis all wanna come to Thailand…

----------


## mudcat

Spent my last working years as a GIS analyst on a large water supply project that included 50km of 2m diameter pipeline convincing the project engineers that a straight line would not get their project built in California because of property issues, road right of way encroachment issues, and of course, the endangered fairy shrimp who lived in the vernal pools a straight line traversed.

----------


## baldrick

> so in theory a career in


if he is looking for ideas , maybe he can look at studying process engineering and focus on hydrogen production

Hydrogen production - Wikipedia

----------


## bsnub

> Another burster of a thread mendip. Enjoying it.


Agreed. I love these threads showing life aboard the ship. Top-notch stuff, for sure!

----------


## Headworx

> Occasionally when we're working a seismic vessel will pass by towing it's kilometres of streamers and even if the boat is a couple of kilometres away you can feel the 'booms' of the airguns rattle through our boat. It can't do the marine life any good.


There's been no end of independent studies done on this and it'll come as no surprise that the findings are always disputed by people with beards, glasses, and no real job besides eating lentils and soliciting funding. Or fishermen wanting compensation pay from Chevron or BP for the rest of their lives. The gun arrays _are_ powerful but they're warmed up with a very low starting cfm that's not much more than a decent fart, then slowly brought up to full operating cfm over about one hour typically. Any marine life disturbed has ample time to move away if its bothered by the noise and compression waves, and surveys rarely (if ever these days) take place over the top of reefs or other structures where marine life might live their entire lives permanently though I have seen it done in a_ *what the fuck are we doing here!*_ area of the Red Sea with no fish floating to the surface or damage done to the pristine reef 50m beneath the guns. We ran ROV's along the survey lines recording video before and after just in case though but again, there was _no_ damage done. We still should not have been there though, to put a jack-up over that reef would have been unthinkable!

I've personally seen Dolphins playing among the airguns, Whales swimming towards the arrays, and was once involved in a study (to the point of my name and credentials being on the published results) where we built a small farm of floating cages off the coast of Brazil and filled them with various species of local fish, lobster, prawns, squid, and turtles, then circled a gunboat around them all firing at full-noise every 6 seconds for 24hrs. This too was an independent study, the results were to determine if Petrobras could explore an area that's now one of the highest producing fields offshore in Sth America, and I fully expected _everything_ in those cages to be deader than disco after 10 minutes! 4 days was given to see if there was any delayed reaction time before all that marine life was released, the only casualties were a few smaller fish that bigger fish had taken a bite out of but didn't finish eating.

Sorry to be a bit lengthy on this but its something that does my head in when reading of protests going on to stop a survey somewhere in the world that's 200 km offshore in 700m of water depth with a sand bottom, but according to the _experts_ there's going to be Tsunami's created and dead Whales washing up on beaches for the next year. Just send more money so they can get out there and harass the ship and crew in their petrol powered Zodiacs, regardless of the Oil Co and contractor having every approval and licence necessary from the governing bodies  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Mendip

^ That's really interesting HW, thanks.

I must admit I've often wondered about the effects of the seismic sound waves on marine life as I've lain awake in my cabin while the booms go rattling through our vessel. Not that I'm singling out the seismic industry... our ROVs emit all manner of high frequency sound waves from the sub-bottom profiler, side scan sonar, multibeam echosounder, forward looking sonar, etc. Hopefully these also aren't detrimental to marine life.

I also often wonder at the blind hatred the environmentalists seem to have for the oil companies. I would say that the majority of my colleagues care for the environment and by and large I find the oil industry to be a clean industry these days. It is so heavily regulated and the companies are so paranoid about bad publicity that they have to be clean. There is of course the very occasional, well publicised disaster but otherwise it is pretty clean. Even a minuscule oil leak from an ROV has to be reported and acted upon. This is nothing compared to the natural hydrocarbon leakage from the seabed.

To my mind by far the greatest threat to marine life is the fishing industry. Thirty years ago we had to regularly stop ROV pipeline surveys due to huge shoals of cod obscuring the visibility and blocking sonar... today they are all gone. The only place fish are still a problem to our work is within the platform 500 metre zones where trawling is banned and the fish find a refuge and thrive. The pipelines in open water also provide some refuge for the fish... but they are targeted and relentlessly trawled along... and when a trawl net is snagged on some subsea infrastructure the fishermen claim against the oil company.

I can't for the life of me understand why Greenpeace and the likes demand full decommissioning of platforms and pipelines upon the end of a field's life. A far better alternative for the environment would be to leave the platforms in place with an exclusion zone, to provide some refuge for the fish, shellfish and all manner of other benthos. Away from the platform exclusion zones it isn't only the fish that are absent, the seabed is lifeless from the relentless trawling and resembles an underwater desert. Greenpeace just seem hell bent on punishing the oil companies, regardless of the consequence to marine life.

----------


## Shutree

> A far better alternative for the environment would be to leave the platforms in place with an exclusion zone


Did I not read somewhere that this is planned for one or more old rigs? 

(It is probably on Google if I want to give up another hour of my life.)

----------


## Headworx

> I also often wonder at the blind hatred the environmentalists seem to have for the oil companies.
> 
> Greenpeace just seem hell bent on punishing the oil companies..


It's not possible of course, but wouldn't it be great to see the world try to exist as we know it both now or in any time of the foreseeable future without oil and gas. We'd be back to living in unlit homes with a fire in the backyard to cook whatever animals we could catch, that's the truth of it.

----------


## Shutree

> living in unlit homes with a fire in the backyard to cook whatever animals we could catch


Welcome to Isaan.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Greenpeace just seem hell bent on punishing the oil companies, regardless of the consequence to marine life.


Greenpeace are stupid.




> We'd be back to living in unlit homes with a fire in the backyard to cook whatever animals we could catch, that's the truth of it.


And look to the Middle East to see what will happen once all the firewood is burned up...

----------


## malmomike77

> It can't do the marine life any good.


https://www.greenpeace.org/usa/oceans/save-the-whales/seismic-sonar-testing/

^ Nice growler

----------


## ootai

All this talk about Greenpeace, i.e. Conservationists, reminded me of an encounter I had 30 years ago.

At that time I was back in high school completing Year 12 to get my TEE so I could go to University.
One of the guys with whom I shared a Calculus class invited around to his place for a meal.
So I got to meet his wife, who it turns out worked for the Conservation Council of WA  at least I think that is what it was called.
Anyway during conversation she asked me what I intended to study once I got to University.
When I replied Mining Engineering the whole conversation changed dramatically.
Off course me being me I couldn't help but wind her up a little bit by talking about knocking down trees for mining or drilling for oil on the Ningaloo reef.

Once these people get on their soapbox they are beyond rational discussion.
I tried pointing out to her that a study in the USA found that Mining interfered with only 2% of the land area compared to that that was cleared to create roads.
She didn't want to listen.

Several years later she was elected as a Senator to the Federal Senate of Australia being a member of the Green Party.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Several years later she was elected as a Senator to the Federal Senate of Australia being a member of the Green Party.


Greens Senator WA



*Members of Parliament*

Senator Rachel Siewert (2005present)Senator Jordon Steele-John (2017present)

----------


## panama hat

Siewert is from WA and Steels's a bloke. 







> Once these people get on their soapbox they are beyond rational discussion.


I guess I'm "one of these people", but I'll have a decent and rational discussion any time.  The world isn't black and white and perhaps the actual area of mining itself and alone isn't the determining factor in calculating environmental impact.

Anyhow, this isn't the thread to discuss that particular topic.  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Anyhow, this isn't the thread to discuss that particular topic.


It sure isn't and that is why I will refrain from comment.

----------


## nidhogg

> Greens Senator WA
> 
> 
> 
> *Members of Parliament*
> 
> Senator Rachel Siewert (2005present)Senator Jordon Steele-John (2017present)


You mybe missed the bit where he said "30 years ago"....

----------


## cyrille

> I tried pointing out to her that a study in the USA found that Mining interfered with only 2% of the land area compared to that that was cleared to create roads.
> She didn't want to listen.


To be honest, if you actually said it like that then it probably just didn't make sense to her.

Because it...just doesn't make sense.  :Very Happy: 




> Several years later she was elected as a Senator to the Federal Senate of Australia being a member of the Green Party.


The conclusion you drew from that exchange and the woman's subsequent rise may have been off the mark.  :Very Happy:

----------


## ootai

> All this talk about Greenpeace, i.e. Conservationists, reminded me of an encounter I had 30 years ago.
> 
> Several years later she was elected as a Senator to the Federal Senate of Australia being a member of the Green Party.





> Siewert is from WA and Steels's a bloke. 
> 
> I guess I'm "one of these people", but I'll have a decent and rational discussion any time.  The world isn't black and white and perhaps the actual area of mining itself and alone isn't the determining factor in calculating environmental impact.
> 
> Anyhow, this isn't the thread to discuss that particular topic.





> You mybe missed the bit where he said "30 years ago"....



nidhogg
I said I met her 30 years ago not that she was a Senator 30 years ago, so it seems that Siewert is the one. I didn't realise she was still in the Senate though I thought she never got re-elected.


PH 
Why is this not the place for discussion? I thought we were discussing Mendip's work which in my opinion involves mining and also environmental issues and impacts
Besides that I have not seen there be any restraints about what it and what isn't discussed in Mendip's threads, to me it seems like nothing is off limits

----------


## cyrille

> to me it seems like nothing is off limits


You saw the 'DIY in boxers' photoshoot too then.  :kma1:

----------


## ootai

> I tried pointing out to her that a study in the USA found that Mining interfered with only 2% of the land area compared to that that was cleared to create roads.
> She didn't want to listen.
> 
> Several years later she was elected as a Senator to the Federal Senate of Australia being a member of the Green Party.







> To be honest, if you actually said it like that then it probably just didn't make sense to her.
> 
> Because it...just doesn't make sense. 
> 
> 
> 
> The conclusion you drew from that exchange and the woman's subsequent rise may have been off the mark.



cyrille
I agree that I probably didn't word it so it was absolutely clear what was meant so maybe I should have typed this instead.

 A study in the USA found that Mining effected only 2% of the land area that was cleared/used to create roads.

I never drew any conclusion I was just stating that she ended up as a Senator nothing more nothing less.
But just for you I will state the conclusion I came to AFTER she got elected to Parliament and that was people in Government aren't necessarily smart, passionate maybe.

----------


## cyrille

> But just for you I will state the conclusion I came to AFTER she got elected to Parliament and that was people in Government aren't necessarily smart, passionate maybe.


Yeah, I got that.

And I think that's just because you don't share her viewpoint, and you still can't really express what you want to say.




> A study in the USA found that Mining effected only 2% of the land area that was cleared/used to create roads.


And her progress might have been, at least in part, because she can.

But I'm just guessing, obvs.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Saint Willy

> You saw the 'DIY in boxers' photoshoot too then.



I’m still in therapy over the 'DIY in boxers' photoshoot

----------


## ootai

> Yeah, I got that.
> 
> And I think that's just because you don't share her viewpoint, and you still can't really express what you want to say.
> 
> 
> 
> And her progress might have been, at least in part, because she can.
> 
> But I'm just guessing, obvs.



I really struggling to understand what you don't "Get" maybe you can explain to me what it is that is confusing you?

As for her progress that is a whole different game.

I can only ask if you understand how Senators are elected in Australia because if you do then your comment is what makes no sense.

----------


## cyrille

Dunno how else to say it.

The statement below plain doesn't make sense.

Your attempt at snootiness is kind of funny though.  :Very Happy: 




> A study in the USA found that Mining effected only 2% of the land area that was cleared/used to create roads.

----------


## Topper

> A study in the USA found that Mining effected only 2% of the land area WHEN COMPARED TO that was cleared/used to create roads.


Probably a little clearer....just tryin' to help

----------


## malmomike77

Environmental pedantry - it matters

----------


## cyrille

Honestly just want to know what he's trying to say.

Nam Prik Toot.

----------


## Looper

> I’m still in therapy over the 'DIY in boxers' photoshoot


Boxer shorts would be a flattering and generous description for the nightmare inducing undercladdings that the TeakDoor community was menaced with in that thread!

----------


## malmomike77

^ i am not looking forward to the forthcoming Turkish Bath episode in Istanbul

----------


## helge

> It seems like someone hasn't been flushing their turds... and yes, it's a boat full of adults.
> 
> I'm not one to generalise but after many years experience of working on these boats my suspicion leans towards a Norwegian being the guilty party. I've found that the Norwegians often leave the pan in a terrible state


Yes, so it's logical to put up a sign in english and not norwegian
 :smiley laughing: 



> closely followed by the Scots.


Oh  :Sad:

----------


## dirk diggler

Fit ye gan on aboot? Awa n bile yer heid!

----------


## Stumpy

> I’m still in therapy over the 'DIY in boxers' photoshoot


Me too and they were not boxer shorts, that would have been ok but they were ass hugging skivvies and he stood there with Big C plastic sandals.  

Shit.  Back to therapy I go... :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

> skivvies


skiddies - if you had looked closer    :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> skiddies - if you had looked closer


Glad I didn't.  Would likely have increased my therapy sessions...

----------


## Saint Willy

> Me too and they were not boxer shorts, that would have been ok but they were ass hugging skivvies and he stood there with Big C plastic sandals.  
> 
> Shit.  Back to therapy I go...



Jaysus, you added to that mental image. I wonder if anyone is taking the Gardner’s mental well being seriously? He had to help there…

----------


## Mendip

> I’m still in therapy over the 'DIY in boxers' photoshoot






> Me too and they were not boxer shorts, that would have been ok but they were ass hugging skivvies and he stood there with Big C plastic sandals.  
> 
> Shit.  Back to therapy I go...



Lot's of irrelevant and off topic chatter going on here... I'm glad that OhOh keeps the thread on track with his pertinent, work related questions.


These are my undercladding of choice... aerated and cheap, what's not to like. I swear by them. 

And I'm not alone by the looks of things... they're currently out of stock.

And they're not 'boxer shorts' or 'skivvies', they're called 'Sports Ice Silk Moisture Wicking Underwear Wide-brimmed Mesh Breathable Boxer Briefs for Men'.




Most therapists recommend confronting the cause of your trauma to come to terms with any mental illness, so if you guys are serious about wanting to recover you need to man up a bit.

I'm not one to push my arse in your faces so to speak, so I leave it up to you.

An Isaan Pond

----------


## Stumpy

:rofl:   Silk Moisture......wicking.....


We'll get your thread back on topic. 

How is work going?

----------


## panama hat

> You mybe missed the bit where he said "30 years ago"....


 . . . and the gender part, perhaps?





> the conclusion I came to AFTER she got elected to Parliament and that was people in Government aren't necessarily smart


Amen, ootai - ain't that the truth








> 'Sports Ice Silk Moisture Wicking Underwear Wide-brimmed Mesh Breathable Boxer Briefs for Men'


Not made from bamboo fibres then?

----------


## beerlaodrinker

> You saw the 'DIY in boxers' photoshoot too then.


Indeed. Mendys threads have got it all.

----------


## David48atTD

> Im still in therapy over the 'DIY in boxers' photoshoot


*Mendy*, forget those '_Sports Ice Silk Moisture Wicking Underwear Wide-brimmed Mesh Breathable Boxer Briefs for Men_'

I did* an ad for a real man's undies ...




'Sports Ice Silk Moisture Wicking Underwear Wide-brimmed Mesh Breathable Boxer Briefs for Men'







* When I typed 'did' ... I meant 'watched' ... same same  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Well, this has got weird.


As I mentioned, after Heidrun we were supposed to start a work scope at the Kristin Field but we couldn't get a permit for the Kristin 500 metre zone so we started on the work scope at the Åsgard Field instead.

 I've spent many months of my life at Åsgard over the past 15 years or so and it was the site of my last drink offshore. I shared a miniature whisky with a colleague in his cabin on New Years Eve 2005 but have never been tempted since. In the early days it was common to have a tot of whisky in your tea during the night shift but these days it would be instant dismissal... it's just not worth it.

Anyway, here is the Åsgard B semi-sub (left) and the Åsgard C FSU (Floating Storage Unit) at breakfast time. The oil industry loves it's acronyms.



And the Åsgard A FPSO (Floating Production Storage Unit).



And the Kristin semi-sub off in the distance, where we will no doubt get to at some point.



I get a camera feed into my office so I can see what's going on and noticed the survey ROV was about to be recovered so I thought I'd get a pic for the thread.



But it's up three levels and by the time I got there it was too late, the ROV was latched on and coming to deck.



When up above the ROV hangar I also noticed we were close to Åsgard A so I thought I'd sneak out for a pic. 

No decent picture of the ROV but the first whale of the thread... what I think is a minke whale wallowing around off the stern of the FPSO.



There was a whale at Heidrun and now a whale at Åsgard... we never used to see any whales at all and I'm wondering if these guys hang around the platforms for food waste. I'm sure none of them will hang around this boat with the shite we're being fed on... unless maybe an ootai whale turns up.

----------


## aging one

> unless maybe an ootai whale turns up.



55555

----------


## malmomike77

^^ it maybe teh whales have found the lack of trawlers around platforms encourage shoals of smaller fish

----------


## Klondyke

> I'm sure none of them will hang around this boat with the shite we're being fed on


You should check on the cook. Perhaps he likes the whales more than you all...

----------


## OhOh

> FPSO (Floating Production Storage Unit).


Power, Pumps, Pipes and Product.

 I helped design many of them 30 + years ago. Studies, Preliminary, Final 3D "clash detection checks" of individual on-board and sub-sea modules. Along with hundreds of PFDs AND P&IDs. 3 x 8 hour shifts. 50% bonuses as the deadlines approached.

Sitting at one of these:

*Intergraph InterAct 220 dual-monitor CAD workstation*




No shirts and ties, except when clients were visiting. 12 of these beasts all hung off a VAX. 

Great comradeship and rewards.

A 1.6 version of this:




Survived two crashes: 

1. A deer ran out in front of me in Surrey, 

2. the engine blew up when working in Switzerland.

----------


## Edmond

> A 1.6 version of this


Am I dreaming or did they also have a 2.4L.

Which must have been an absolute weapon of a pocket rocket.

----------


## ootai

> Well, this has got weird.
> 
> 
> I'm sure none of them will hang around this boat with the shite we're being fed on... unless maybe an ootai whale turns up.



It is obvious to me that there are a lot of fussy kunts that post on here that have never been really hungry.
Mendip I am looking forward to the final weigh in you do before you leave to come home, I bet you will be heavier than at the start even with only shite to eat.
from obese to morbidly obese, look out here you come.

----------


## OhOh

^^
I believe there was, but it came with anti pollution "improvements", which had certain effects.

We only had one young son then, so just right.

----------


## malmomike77

> Am I dreaming or did they also have a 2.4L.


Yes the largest was 2.0, their 1.9 GTi was rapid tho

----------


## Saint Willy

> Silk Moisture......wicking.....
> 
> 
> We'll get your thread back on topic. 
> 
> How is work going?



I've been trying to reply to _that post_, but I truly am lost for words and a little bit further traumatised.

----------


## Mendip

> ^^ it maybe teh whales have found the lack of trawlers around platforms encourage shoals of smaller fish


That's a very good point and I reckon you're right. There are huge shoals of saithe (pollack) around Åsgard which are causing us problems with data acquisition but maybe the whales have come to feed on them?




> Mendip I am looking forward to the final weigh in you do before you leave to come home, I bet you will be heavier than at the start even with only shite to eat.
> from obese to morbidly obese, look out here you come.


That kind of talk has just made me even more determined Ootai... but you're wrong. I've been onboard for 10 days now and haven't had a single biscuit or pudding... and they have bowl of Chocolate Hobnobs permanently on offer by the coffee machine. This time I mean business.

Tell you what... if I'm heavier I'll give you a day's work on your farm. If I'm lighter you come and clean out my pond again... and get your feet wet?

----------


## aging one

> Originally Posted by ootai 
> Mendip I am looking forward to the final weigh in you do before you leave to come home, I bet you will be heavier than at the start even with only shite to eat.
> from obese to morbidly obese, look out here you come.


He sure as hell came back much lighter last time even though he put on a little working from land at the end. Plus its a goal that is easily doable. My bucks are on Mendy.

I am betting on him getting into a work out routine as well.   :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Your moneys safe AO... I've been in the gym for an hour three nights on the trot.

All I have to do is keep it going for the next 3 months...

----------


## Edmond

> their 1.9 GTi was rapid tho


That's the one. 

Me non insured drug dealing friend had one around the mid 90s at age 16/17.


Fun blasts.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ Your moneys safe AO... I've been in the gym for an hour three nights on the trot.
> 
> All I have to do is keep it going for the next 3 months...



good effort mate !

----------


## Topper

> Intergraph InterAct 220 dual-monitor CAD workstation


I drove a Computervision CADDS 4x system of the same era for about 10-12 years.

----------


## Saint Willy

> These are my undercladding of choice... aerated and cheap, what's not to like. I swear by them.


I think going commando would have more material than your underkeks. 





> And I'm not alone by the looks of things... they're currently out of stock.


or that nobody else in the entire planet actually likes them?




> And they're not 'boxer shorts' or 'skivvies', they're called 'Sports Ice Silk Moisture Wicking Underwear Wide-brimmed Mesh Breathable Boxer Briefs for Men'.


 :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl: 





> Most therapists recommend confronting the cause of your trauma to come to terms with any mental illness, so if you guys are serious about wanting to recover you need to man up a bit.
> 
> I'm not one to push my arse in your faces


I'm not sure manning up involves looking at men's arses!

----------


## Looper

> I've had that "maganda ka pa sa umaga" thrown at me by colleagues/ friends. For us (Filipinos), it's just a type of flattery and/or word play - another way of saying "magandang umaga" (good morning). But yeah, you must have some rapport or camaraderie with the person.


To strike up a rapport Mendip try waiting till the Filipina cleena is wiping down your cabin while she thinks you are on shift and then step out of the ensuite bathroom in your wicking grundies dripping and clinging to your butt-tocks and tell her that she is 'more beautiful than the morning'

What is the worst that could happen?

 :Smile:

----------


## helge

> What is the worst that could happen?


I think Mendip is above such Weinstein behaviour

----------


## Mendip

^ Don't be too hasty in your assumptions Helge...





> or that nobody else in the entire planet actually likes them?


I dress for comfort these days, my time of following fashion is long gone.





> To strike up a rapport Mendip try waiting till the Filipina cleena is wiping down your cabin while she thinks you are on shift and then step out of the ensuite bathroom in your wicking grundies dripping and clinging to your butt-tocks and tell her that she is 'more beautiful than the morning'
> 
> What is the worst that could happen?


I'll tell you what's the worst that could happen...

I put my washing in at 10pm tonight on my way to the gym... and later at 1am when I had to pop back to my cabin for something the washing bag was already sitting on my bunk with my freshly laundered clothes inside. This is better service than I get from the wife... and they even do that clever thing with socks here where you fold pairs together. I spend forever trying to find matching socks at home.

But mysteriously... the two Filipina stewardesses are both on day shift... so this means one of the night shift stewards has been doing my washing... yes, a bloke.

So the worst thing that could happen if I try leaping out from my shower wearing nothing but a baggy old pair of stained, moisture wicking breathable silk boxer briefs is that apart from losing my job for sexual assault, I could lose my job for sexually assaulting a bloke.

I'm just gonna play it safe and try saying 'Salamat' to my favourite stewardess and see how things go from there.

----------


## Saint Willy

Might have known! Mendy’s flirting with the dark side!

----------


## PAG

> I'm just gonna play it safe and try saying 'Salamat' to my favourite stewardess and see how things go from there.


Just leave her a note.....

----------


## Stumpy

> I dress for comfort these days, my time of following fashion is long gone.


That is clearly obvious to all my friend. Your pics have left us with no doubt, especially when you insisted your Jesus slippers were "Proper" footwear for a night out...

----------


## Saint Willy

Did he bring his Jesus sandals onto the boat? Mind you, I’m wearing slippers today…

picture proof!

*mind you, this off topic post on an ASQ thread might get moved by my personal mod.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ FFS PAG...  :Smile: 

And FFS JP... OK, so I'm not a slave to the latest fashion but I still look pretty good on a night out.





> Might have known! Mendy’s flirting with the dark side!


Ya know SW... I've been waiting to be able to 'Green' you for all the interest you've shown in this thread but I'm starting to think again.

I am most definitely not flirting with any dark side or with anything else for that matter. 

One of the stewardesses is very attractive but if she was so inclined there are many younger and I dare say slimmer guys on this boat to choose from. 

I was always one of the younger guys at work on these boats but now all of a sudden I look around and I seem to be one of the oldest. WTF did the years go...? ... even the Skipper and Chief Engineer are younger than me. It's pretty depressing to be honest.

----------


## Stumpy

> And FFS JP... OK, so I'm not a slave to the latest fashion but I still look pretty good on a night out.


Hey Buddy.  You said it.  If you don't follow fashion then it is questionable that you could look good on a night out unless of course it is the walk to your pond which in that case, no one is looking.   :Smile: 

How goes the work?  Is your daily work the same or is it different?

----------


## dirk diggler

The gym looks decent, I'd never be out of there.

----------


## OhOh

> I'm not a slave to the latest fashion


Just make sure you have the "correct" logos and brand names next time.

The deplatforming is strong in some societies.


Some cannot afford mandatory visits to specialist trauma clinics and resort to binging.

If only we could rid the world of the real horrors.

----------


## Saint Willy

> from. 
> 
> I was always one of the younger guys at work on these boats but now all of a sudden I look around and I seem to be one of the oldest. WTF did the years go...? ... even the Skipper and Chief Engineer are younger than me. It's pretty depressing to be honest


ive noticed the same, not on boats obviously, but at work.

----------


## panama hat

> from obese to morbidly obese, look out here you come.


Them's ootai fightin' words!!!





> Might have known! Mendys flirting with the dark side!


You've forgotten the 'gardener'?

----------


## katie23

> It is obvious to me that there are a lot of fussy kunts that post on here that have never been really hungry.
> Mendip I am looking forward to the final weigh in you do before you leave to come home, I bet you will be heavier than at the start even with only shite to eat.
> from obese to morbidly obese, look out here you come.


I agree with you, ootai. There are lots of fussy eaters on this board, but to each his/ her own.  :Smile:  

Many Filipino seafarers gain weight after being aboard these ships/ vessels because the selection of food that they have on board is much more than what they're used to at home, especially if they came from poor families. A typical Filipino seafarer/ crew would be happy to eat eggs, spam or sausage & rice for breakfast, plus coffee.

I remember when the son of one of my neighbours came home from his OJT as a crew member on one of those ships. I saw him, we greeted each other and I remarked that he gained weight. He agreed and said it's because of the food on board. He especially liked Nutella (that stuck in my mind), which is expensive here in PH. I'm guessing his mom doesn't buy it - I would say that they're a lower middle class family and Nutella isn't in their budget.

I've visited a hick town in the Visayas region which is a 1-ATM town (no 7-11, McD or Jollibee). According to my friend who is from there, most of the guys there end up as seafarers. They send their money home, then their families are able to build concrete houses. When I toured the town with my friend, the big/ semi-big houses were owned by OFWs.

Cheers all.  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

Maybe a silly question that some won't understand but have you got bananas on board Mendip? Didn't see any in that fruit platter you posted earlier.

----------


## mudcat

Thinking back to my deployments on an aircraft carrier I think the reason I lost a good deal of weight is that I had control over both food choice and portion size.  Of course sterilized milk and rabbit was off the menu, but having the option of eating healthier without parental or budget issues made a big difference in my diet.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Yeah, there are plenty of fussy eaters about Katie. 

I don't really think of myself as a fussy eater and would happily eat eggs for breakfast if that was a choice. My gripe on here is this... the 6pm meal has soup, a choice of a different fish or meat meal every day and a pudding. The 6am meal is the same regurgitated, fat-soaked shite every single day. Why the disparity on a vessel carrying out 24 hour operations. The night shift should have the same quality of food as the day shift and should be able to eat healthily without resorting to salad and tinned fish every day.  I'm capable of eating crap if I have to... but just don't want to.

Yes, Mudcat, it is (and should be) possible to eat very healthily depending on the shift on this boat. It's not a big deal as I can get decent food with veg plated up from the day shift meal but that shouldn't be necessary.


^^ HW... there was a big bowl of bananas on top of that fruit bar, out of camera view. I say 'was' because they're all been eaten now. One thing I will say about Norway is that the bananas are absolutely perfect and blemishless... not a mark on them. We have a crew change coming up on Wednesday (every two weeks) and I'll take a pic of a bowlful of perfect bananas when they come on board. Credit where credit's due... I don't complain about everything!

I've never seen a problem in Norway with having bananas on board. I once went fishing on a charter boat out of WA and everyone's bags were checked for bananas and any found were left ashore.

On the west coast of Norway there is/was a superstition about bringing a back-pack on board... this may apply elsewhere as well? I've seen ship's crew refuse to allow project personnel on board if they had packed using a back-pack and they were forced to re-pack their kit into a bin bag before being allowed up the gangway. I haven't seen this for many years now though so maybe some of the old superstitions are dying out.

----------


## katie23

^what's with the superstition about backpacks? And yeah, the evening shift should have equally good food too - tell it to your manager!  :Smile:  

Btw do you also work Sundays? Or do you have a day off? 

@headworx -  what's the issue on bananas? They're high in potassium, right? We give them to our athletes to prevent muscle cramps.

----------


## Headworx

> @headworx - what's the issue on bananas? They're high in potassium, right? We give them to our athletes to prevent muscle cramps.


Yep, plus they're a good energy hit source that's easy to eat on the run. Perfect for people playing sports mid-match or needing a lift on a long shift, add a coffee or chocolate bar and you're good to go! I don't even know why they're considered bad luck on boats to be honest, but I've been on more than a few vessels without seeing one for the duration at sea. Some people who work on boats take that sort of thing seriously, I'd rather worry about things like fire.

----------


## koman

Those perfect bananas in Norway must be EU approved bananas.  The EU in it's zeal to protect all people from all things dictates the size, color and curvature of bananas.  They are definitely not Isaan bananas.  One of the drivers in the Brexit campaign was the regulation of Banana curvature....the British always rebel at such things....😄🤭

----------


## Happy As Larry

> Thinking back to my deployments on an aircraft carrier I think the reason I lost a good deal of weight is that I had control over both food choice and portion size.  Of course sterilized milk and rabbit was off the menu, but having the option of eating healthier without parental or budget issues made a big difference in my diet.


Many years ago I worked in the kitchens at Charles de Gaulle airport, preparing meals for the airlines departing out of Paris. I had never eaten so good. As I was single at the time I always volunteered for double shifts. Fresh bread and pastries in the morning, my choice of the major newspapers and magazines, good lunches and terrific dinners when the bosses had gone home and the chefs were in charge. After we had cleaned up. The chefs provided a meal for all the kitchen workers with the best produce available. 
I put on  a fair bit of weight during that period

----------


## ootai

> ^^^ Yeah, there are plenty of fussy eaters about Katie. 
> 
> I don't really think of myself as a fussy eater and would happily eat eggs for breakfast if that was a choice. My gripe on here is this... the 6pm meal has soup, a choice of a different fish or meat meal every day and a pudding. The 6am meal is the same regurgitated, fat-soaked shite every single day. Why the disparity on a vessel carrying out 24 hour operations. The night shift should have the same quality of food as the day shift and should be able to eat healthily without resorting to salad and tinned fish every day.  I'm capable of eating crap if I have to... but just don't want to.
> 
> Yes, Mudcat, it is (and should be) possible to eat very healthily depending on the shift on this boat. It's not a big deal as I can get decent food with veg plated up from the day shift meal but that shouldn't be necessary.



Mendip
I asked this question before but either you misunderstood me or I used the wrong word.
Where you eat is called the mess or the galley?
Where the food is prepared and cooked is called the galley or the kitchen?

When the evening meal is being served at 6pm can't you leave your work station for long enough to go get yourself a meal for when you finish at midnight or whenever you want to eat it?
Surely you are allowed meal breaks while on shift.

As for your stakes for the bet regarding your weight at the end of your stint on board I will have to pass.
I am still suffering the effects of coming into contact with that pond water.
I had a fish fin spike me under the nail on my right hand which went septic and now half my nail is detached from the meat underneath.
I also got spiked on the end of my left index finger and that is still septic, I just can't get it to clear up.  Starting to think that the end of the spike is still in my finger but I can't see it even after digging a bloody big hole.
Also anytime I get a scratch and as you know everything out here wants to stick you with its thorns, it goes septic on me.
If I were to help you again I would want a full Hazmat suit.

Katie
When I helped Mendip with his pond he provided lunch and I can vouch that he is not a fussy eater. He got stuck into the Isaan food we had, I was actually surprised because he always seems to be cooking up western style dishes.

----------


## panama hat

> The EU in it's zeal to protect all people from all things dictates the size, color and curvature of bananas.


It was an article in The Sun, followed by other 'quality' papers Daily Mail, Daily Mirror and Daily Edpress and then a whole segment of the population 'swallowed' it . . . I'm surprised the myth still exists




> Regulation 2257/94 decrees that bananas should meet minimum quality standards such as being 'free from malformation or abnormal curvature of the fingers'.The law does not outright ban bendy bananas. Rather, it restricts their sale to certain trade categories.
> According to the law, bananas of the "extra" category must have no defects, but Class 1 bananas may have "slight defects of shape" and Class 2 bananas may have additional "defects of shape".
> This includes, presumably, defects such as "abnormal curvature".
> As an article in the Independent only a few days after the Sun story pointed out, these rules were neither arbitrary nor uncalled-for, as *they intended importing businesses to 'get value for their money' while preventing EU agricultural subsidies being wasted on poor produce**.*


The real story why 'bonkers Brussels' went bananas

Same as in stores - but creating stories of Brussels/EU fat cats sells more papers and helps politicians

----------


## Mendip

^^ Ootai... I'm on nights, that is the problem. After the 6pm meal is cooked in the galley it is eaten in the mess... while I am asleep. I work from midnight to midday.

There's a meal every 6 hours and meal times are +/- 30 minutes either side of 6am, midday, 6pm and midnight, thus allowing for a meal before shift, mid-shift and after shift whatever shift you are working. I eat before midnight and at 6am, trying to avoid the meal after shift at midday before I retire to my cabin. 

I'm sorry about your finger problems... those fish are certainly getting their revenge. My left big toe nail, or rather where it used to be, is healing up nicely but the right big toe nail is about two-thirds detached and it doesn't look right at all. At least it doesn't hurt.

----------


## cyrille

> Those perfect bananas in Norway must be EU approved bananas. The EU in it's zeal to protect all people from all things dictates the size, color and curvature of bananas. They are definitely not Isaan bananas. One of the drivers in the Brexit campaign was the regulation of Banana curvature....the British always rebel at such things....


So, that's the 20 years old stuff covered.

----------


## Mendip

> ^what's with the superstition about backpacks? And yeah, the evening shift should have equally good food too - tell it to your manager!  
> 
> Btw do you also work Sundays? Or do you have a day off? 
> 
> @headworx -  what's the issue on bananas? They're high in potassium, right? We give them to our athletes to prevent muscle cramps.



No days off Katie, it'll be 12 hour shifts 7 days a week until I get off.

As for bananas, there are many theories as to why they are considered unlucky on a boat. I've never witnessed this on any work vessels but as I mentioned, a charter fishing boat I went on in WA banned all bananas.

From the net...

*No Bananas On Board
*_Aside from their peels causing many comedians to trip and fall down, bananas have long been thought to bring bad luck, especially on ships. At the height of the trading empire between Spain and the Caribbean in the 1700's, most cases of disappearing ships happened to be carrying a cargo of bananas at the time. 
_
_  Coincidence? Perhaps. Another theory suggests that because bananas spoiled so quickly, transporters had to get to their destination much quicker. Fisherman thus never caught anything while bananas were on board. Another danger caused by monkey's favourite fruit fermenting so quickly, was that in the heat of the storage hull, bananas would produce deadly toxic fumes.
_
_ A final theory on the perils of bananas at sea (though there are tons) is that a species of deadly spider would hide inside banana bunches. Their lethal bite caused crewman to die suddenly, heightening the fear that banana cargo was a bad omen. 
_
_ Many boaters continue to avoid bananas at sea, some even avoiding banana smelling sun tan lotion._ 


And a few others...

*No Women on Board
*_Women were said to bring bad luck on board because they distracted the sailors from their sea duties. This kind of behaviour angered the intemperate seas that would take their revenge out on the ship. Funny enough, naked women on board were completely welcome. That's because naked women "calmed the sea". This is why ships' typically had a figure of a topless women perched on the bow of the ship. Her bare breasts "shamed the stormy seas into calm" and her open eyes guided the seamen to safety.
_
*No Whistling on Board
*_Mariners have long held the belief that whistling or singing into the wind will "whistle up a storm"._ 

*Avoid Gingers
*_Red heads were thought to bring bad luck to a ship if you happened to encounter one before boarding. However, if you speak to the redhead before they get the chance to speak to you, you're saved._ 

I can vouch that women on board can be a disrupting influence!


As for backpacks, I think this is unique to Norway. It seems to be something to do with backpacks being used when you go hiking in the mountains but the last thing you want when on a boat is to come into contact with rocks... or something like that. The Norwegian coastline is often very rocky and mountainous so this theory could kind of apply.

----------


## helge

Always go onboard with your right foot first

Never start your journey on a friday

Never say 'goodbye'.

Never touch a bird, who lands on a boat
(doves are ok)

----------


## Edmond

Christ on a bike I've seen less rules on Thai Visa.  :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

fewer - ECC con artist.

----------


## bsnub

> So, that's the 20 years old stuff covered.


Well, in his defense, he is old.  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> less





> fewer


Duly noted Sir.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - thanks for the info. Wow, so many superstitious stuff!

----------


## Mendip

> The gym looks decent, I'd never be out of there.


Yeah, I know what you mean Dirk but I have to drag myself away for shift.


An absolute fukken disaster today.

Just as I was well on the way to losing 15 kg this happens, would ya bladdy believe it. I'm not even two weeks into the trip.



These are the same trainers that fell apart on the Havila Subsea a year ago... and which I managed to get glued together by the ROV guys. This is all a bit deja vuish.

Of course, when you arrive home after a long work trip and know you'll be staying home for several months, many important jobs get put off for later... and then forgotten about completely.

I hope we have some decent glue on board this ship.

----------


## Mendip

> How goes the work?  Is your daily work the same or is it different?


The work goes OK JP!

I've been put on my own project from data acquired up in the Barents Sea a month ago, and am not really involved with the current vessel operations. This is part of the work I was supposed to be going into the office for... but wasn't possible thanks to Brexit.

It's luxury really... I just sit in an office and am left to my own devices. Also, it's the kind of work that I can also listen to podcasts without getting distracted so am gradually working through BBC Sounds 'True Crime' podcasts to start with.

So far I've listened to 'Death in Ice Valley' and 'Paradise'. I've found both series to be absolutely captivating and would highly recommend them if you have some spare time in that ASQ suite of yours.

----------


## Stumpy

Interesting Mendy.  Great to have a job where they just let you do your thing. I always like being left alone to do my mine. One of the perks of being a seasoned professional, you do not need to be managed and my results usually speak for themselves so I am seldom ever bothered by anyone. Occasionally some operational performance and financial info for the other executive members but those are pretty easy. I like the daily diversity with my position which is why I asked if you do the same thing every day, 7 days a week. 

Thanks for the recommendations on the shows. I have an external HD (1TB) loaded with movies and US, UK and Aus shows that I downloaded in the US while there preparing for this ASQ time. I plug it into the back of the TV and watch full size.  I am however staying pretty busy in the room so I do not sit and watch TV all day but have it on while I work and can hear the shows. Every evening is movie night to end the day. Actually quite relaxing.  

ASQ moving along.........

BTW, this will make you laugh. There were no metal knives in our room. I have some cheese I brought and called the guest service mgr to get one. Can't give me one. I was like WTF. She said they do it for safety issues. Apparently people lose the plot in quarantine and have hurt others or hurt themselves...Explains why all the windows were locked up. Maybe people will jump. I just happened to have a screw driver I brought back with me as I had forgotten it on the last trip and took out the brackets so I can open all windows. My wife just gives me that look... I look back and say "WHATTTTTTT!!!!"

----------


## Mendip

^ This was one of my ASQ top tips. I had plastic knives as well.

Now you see why I keep a set of airline cutlery in my washbag!

----------


## Headworx

> Now you see why I keep a set of airline cutlery in my washbag!


Besides being a kleptomaniac you mean?  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Now you see why I keep a set of airline cutlery in my washbag!





> Besides being a kleptomaniac you mean?


 :rofl: 




> This was one of my ASQ top tips. I had plastic knives as well.


Funny though, they give you really nice heavy forks like you couldn't severe an artery or poke an eye out with one...Funny really. a Fork isn't a dangerous weapon, but a butter knife is.  

But hey, at least I had my handy dandy screw driver with me.  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> But hey, at least I had my handy dandy screw driver with me.


I always travelled with a Leatherman in my suitcase. Often useful, probably the corkscrew came in most handy.  :Smile:

----------


## marcusb

> I always travelled with a Leatherman in my suitcase. Often useful, probably the corkscrew came in most handy.



must have been a newer one, the original and old ones never had corkscrews. I had a Philips wood screw secured to my leatherman by elastic band so I could open wine bottles.

----------


## Shutree

> must have been a newer one, the original and old ones never had corkscrews. I had a Philips wood screw secured to my leatherman by elastic band so I could open wine bottles.


You might well be correct. I also had a Swiss Army knife which has a corkscrew, I know because I still have it. The Leatherman is in a bag full of dive kit in Taiwan that I need to recover one day. The Leatherman was superior in my opinion because of the pliers but now that I reflect I am not certain that it had a corkscrew.

----------


## Stumpy

> I always travelled with a Leatherman in my suitcase. Often useful, probably the corkscrew came in most handy.


I usually pack my backpacking Buck knife, but forgot this time.  Actually I am pretty sure my wife removed it from our check in luggage thinking it would taken out.  Never thought they would ban knives in the room.  I was able to use a fork on my cheese no problem.  

To Mendys point, I highly recommend packing a knife and a multi type screwdriver in your check in.  The Screw driver has proven far more valuable then a knife.  I guess one of those Super Swiss Army knife would cover it all.

----------


## David48atTD

> 


Mate, all you need is contact cement/glue, sometimes known as shoe glue.

Apply to both surfaces, and leave apart.

Wait 20 mins or so and firmly touch both surfaces together and Flo's your Aunt.

----------


## panama hat

> Mate, all you need is contact cement/glue, sometimes known as shoe glue.


He needs to get a pair of Adidas or Puma . . . Reebok if need be (and not at some market in Thailand) . . . after all, those shoes need to carry a lot of weight  :Smile:

----------


## aging one

> Mate, all you need is contact cement/glue, sometimes known as shoe glue.


Mate he is on a boat in the middle of the North Atlantic. Pretty hard to get a delivery out there. :Smile:

----------


## dirk diggler

> The Leatherman was superior in my opinion because of the pliers but now that I reflect I am not certain that it had a corkscrew.


Just use the leatherman to hammer the thinner end of a chopstick into the centre of the cork. It'll either wedge in tight enough to pull it out or push it in without crumbs.

----------


## Stumpy

If y'all just drank Bourbon, no need for a Corkscrew....... :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> Just use the leatherman to hammer the thinner end of a chopstick into the centre of the cork. It'll either wedge in tight enough to pull it out or push it in without crumbs.


I learn something every day.

----------


## dirk diggler

> If y'all just drank Bourbon, no need for a Corkscrew.......


This way, she wont help you with your bourbon.

----------


## ootai

> Just as I was well on the way to adding 15 kg this happens, would ya bladdy believe it. I'm not even two weeks into the trip.
> 
> 
> 
> These are the same trainers that fell apart on the Havila Subsea a year ago... and which I managed to get glued together by the ROV guys. This is all a bit deja vuish.
> 
> Of course, when you arrive home after a long work trip and know you'll be staying home for several months,


Mendip
You need to be careful with shoes here in Isaan. I think its the humidity but I have had several pairs fall apart on me after they were left sitting in a cupboard for a few months.
Once on my way back to work I stopped over in Singapore and while I was walking along one of my shoes literally fell apart.
I had to go straight into the firsts hoe shop I seen to buy a new pair.

By the way in case you didn't see it I made a slight correction to your quote, see above.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Shutree, I would just stick to the gin and tonics. If you keep a Jif lemon in your wash bag you won't need any tools at all. Cyrille put me on to this trick.





> Mate, all you need is contact cement/glue, sometimes known as shoe glue.


As AO pointed out, I'm a bit limited to whatever we have on board here... so far no luck on the glue front and it's looking as though I'll have to resort to my Merrel 'sport sandals' in the gym. At home I do my cross-training with bare feet but I don't think they'd appreciate that out here.





> He needs to get a pair of Adidas or Puma . . . Reebok if need be (and not at some market in Thailand) . . . after all, those shoes need to carry a lot of weight


I'll ignore the part about the weight they need to carry... but also as above... no shoe shop out here. My falling apart trainers are in fact genuine 'New Balance' trainers from a proper shop somewhere in the West. They're not all that old but the heat and humidity of Korat has destroyed the bonding glue, even while not being used and sitting on a shoe rack in the laundry room. Small pieces of the sole have been falling off for a few days now.


Anyway, it was microwaved roast reindeer for dinner today, at breakfast time (I need to explain this stuff carefully).



I'm pretty sure this wasn't Rudolph... maybe one of his Great Grandparents who Santa had put out to retirement. I'm not one to complain but the meat was as tough as old boots... even tougher than one of the Thai steaks I've cooked in my skillet at home.

----------


## mudcat

No boatswains mates in the ships crew - they have everything and know everything.
Are there no inflatable boats on board - if there are there should be a repair kit with two-part adhesive.

----------


## Klondyke

> An absolute fukken disaster today.
> 
> Just as I was well on the way to losing 15 kg this happens, would ya bladdy believe it. I'm not even two weeks into the trip.


Just received with new sole applied, but will have to be mended: 1 cm more on the left one:


Mendip, if no proper glue on the ship, send me by DHL, you have it within a week back, in Thailand so easy...

----------


## Stumpy

> They're not all that old but the heat and humidity of Korat has destroyed the bonding glue, even while not being used and sitting on a shoe rack in the laundry room. Small pieces of the sole have been falling off for a few days now.


Sorry on your trainers Mendy.  Bad luck man. I had a few pair of Asics degrade like yours have exactly. I bit of advice if I may,  from what I have learned here in Thailand, do not keep them out in a shoe rack to be subjected to the heat and weather. I know you said Laundry room but I assume that room is open and still is subjected to the weather to a great degree.  I now always bring my trainer/running shoes into the house and put on a rack where the environment is far more stable. Since then I have not had a pair fall apart. I only leave the ones out for the yard work and when they fall apart, I just toss them. The sole bonding glue seems to quickly vulcanize in these parts. I did have a fairly new pair do that and I took them and had the soles sewn on. But I noticed they flexed differently when I would walk and were not as comfortable anymore. 

Good Luck on the repair.

----------


## Saint Willy

I cannot imagine why they'd be annoyed at you wearing barefeet in the gym... :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Topper

> I cannot imagine why they'd be annoyed at you wearing barefeet in the gym...


The loudness of the slapping sounds as he walks?   :Smile:

----------


## cyrille

> wearing barefeet


What a weird way of putting that.  :Very Happy:

----------


## helge

> What a weird way of putting that.


You don't want to know how he defines a nudist

----------


## Saint Willy

> What a weird way of putting that.



Now that I reread that…yes. My brain has been fried by reading too many posts by Klongdick and David44.

----------


## Mendip

^ But you can wear your Birthday suit?





> No boatswains mates in the ships crew - they have everything and know everything.
> Are there no inflatable boats on board - if there are there should be a repair kit with two-part adhesive.


It seems strange to see the correct spelling... I'm so used to referring to them as 'bosuns'.

Yeah, there will surely be some decent adhesive on the boat somewhere but it's proving difficult to track down.

This was my gym footwear tonight... they are slightly dog-chewed and still stained by pond water, and I'm sure they wouldn't pass muster for entry to one of Korat's trendy gyms full of nubile young women in their skin tight leggings covering sweaty tight buttocks and with flat, bare, moist midriffs showing beneath their skimpy sports-bra tops, but they did the job in a boat full of hairy-arsed contractors.




But anyway, my mind drifted away there somewhat and I've only been onboard for two weeks... so back to work stuff.

This is our survey ROV. This beast has been winning these contractors loads of work... so much in fact that they had to give projects away to competitors this year since they just couldn't find the personnel. A combination of Covid and Brexit has made life extremely difficult for Norwegian contractors who have always relied on a large workforce of freelance Brits. Surely that hopeless twat Johnson can sort out some kind of agreement to get people working again? ... probably not.



Compare the survey ROV to our work class ROV... a more traditional box-like shape. Not much hydrodynamics going on there.



Being launched to start another survey...









Top thrusters on... and down she goes to the seabed 350 metres below to start making money.

----------


## Stumpy

> I'm sure they wouldn't pass muster for entry to one of Korat's trendy gyms full of nubile young women in their skin tight leggings covering sweaty tight buttocks and with flat, bare, moist midriffs showing beneath their skimpy sports-bra tops, but they did the job in a boat full of hairy-arsed contractors.


 :rofl:  :rofl: 

And to think, only 14 weeks more .......

----------


## katie23

Mendip - pls quit being a remoaner. It's over & done with. You're beginning to sound like SA.  :Very Happy: 

Thanks for the ROV pics!

----------


## Joe 90

> Korat's trendy gyms full of nubile young women in their skin tight leggings covering sweaty tight buttocks and with flat, bare, moist midriffs showing beneath their skimpy sports-bra


 :sexy:  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Korat's trendy gyms full of nubile young women in their skin tight leggings covering sweaty tight buttocks and with flat, bare, moist midriffs showing beneath their skimpy sports-bra tops,


You've been locked up too long!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Compare the survey ROV to our work class ROV... a more traditional box-like shape. Not much hydrodynamics going on there.


huge difference!

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip - pls quit being a remoaner. It's over & done with. *You're beginning to sound like SA.*


Say it ain't so!

Fair enough Katie... I need to move on, I don't want to be labelled a remoaner.

I'll try and refrain... but it doesn't mean I'm happy about it!

----------


## OhOh

> Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
> Korat's trendy gyms full of nubile young women in their skin tight leggings covering sweaty tight buttocks and with flat, bare, moist midriffs showing beneath their skimpy sports-bra tops,
> You've been locked up too long!


The 




> Top thrusters on... and down she goes to the ....


mention is telling.

Is there any way of warning the females/ROV's on board?

----------


## PAG

> This was my gym footwear tonight... they are slightly dog-chewed and still stained by pond water, and I'm sure they wouldn't pass muster for entry to one of Korat's trendy gyms full of nubile young women in their skin tight leggings covering sweaty tight buttocks and with flat, bare, moist midriffs showing beneath their skimpy sports-bra tops, but they did the job in a boat full of hairy-arsed contractors.

----------


## nidhogg

Just out of interest Mendip, are there specified footwear requirements for any part of the boat?  Would have thought work mandated steel toe capped boots (obviously not for the gym, but for elsewhere, particularly outside)?

----------


## Shutree

> one of Korat's trendy gyms full of nubile young women in their skin tight leggings covering sweaty tight buttocks and with flat, bare, moist midriffs showing beneath their skimpy sports-bra tops,


I am quite far from Korat but I could make the journey just to visit the gym. Every day.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Before you jump in your car Shutree I think it only fair to tell you I haven't actually been inside a gym in Korat. 

This is just how I imagine they would be like... I've seen plenty of pictures on the internet.





> Just out of interest Mendip, are there specified footwear requirements for any part of the boat?  Would have thought work mandated steel toe capped boots (obviously not for the gym, but for elsewhere, particularly outside)?


Nid, within the 'accommodation area' the only footwear requirement is that the shoes have a back... so no flip-flops or slipper things. A lot of people wear those open-toed sandal things with velcro straps. I tend to wear sport sandals (as in the picture above). I don't like open toed shoes, especially with my current big toe nail issues. The accommodation area basically comprises the interior of the vessel and includes the bridge, cabins, offices, the mess and any day rooms, etc. You're not allowed to wear work boots within the accommodation area because they mess up the floors and if you're working outside and need to pop in you have to out hose blue plastic covers over your boots or else the Chief Steward will give you a bollocking.

There are areas outside where you can wear your sandals, including many outside passageways around the upper levels of the ship and the helideck.

All outside work areas require full PPE to be worn, which as a minimum comprises steel toe-capped shoes/boots, coveralls, gloves, hard hat and safety glasses.

The back deck is the biggest outside work area...



The ROV hangar...



If the vessel is working within a platform 500 metre zone, full PPE must be worn anywhere outside. If we enter a 500 metre zone there will be an announcement over the tannoy and temporary signs will be put up at all exits.



I rarely need to go outside for work in Norway these days and I didn't even bring my PPE on this trip... my luggage weight allowance is much better used for taking strong cheddar cheese, black pudding and tins of SPAM back to Thailand.

Safety is now taken extremely seriously in this industry and repeated non-compliance of rules will lead to loss of your job. When I started I remember leaning off the back of a small trawler with a boat hook, trying to hook a tow-fish as it swung about on the A-frame in a force eight gale, with someone behind me holding my harness to stop me falling off the back of the boat where the prop was turning. I was young and stupid back then, but thankfully those kind of practices are long gone and even a trainee wouldn't be expected to be so foolish.

----------


## Topper

Is there a ship's store on board for gedunks and the such?

----------


## Mendip

I had to Google 'gedunks'... never heard that word before.

The Chief Steward opens the bond once a day... you can get cigarettes, sweets, chocolate, soft drinks, toiletries and the like, all at duty free prices for what it's worth (big savings for smokers I guess). 

You used to be able to get very cheap bottles of spirits for consumption 'after you'd left the vessel', but the Camp Boss didn't seem to mind if you went back for another a few days later... he was making money! That's all long gone now of course.

----------


## Edmond

> you can get cigarettes


Hadn't thought of it before, but kinda surprised that smoking isn't outlawed. 


It surely must be outlawed on the rigs that are pumping up oil and gas... right?  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ We have a sealed smoking day room and that's the only place you can smoke within the accommodation area. When I started doing this just about every work station had a full ashtray next to it... the work place is now smoke free but that's due to HSE rather than any risk of igniting oil or gas.

Smoking in cabins has always been banned due the risk of falling asleep and starting a fire.

So long as we're outside of platform 500 metre zones I think you can smoke outside. As for platforms, I would imagine they have designated smoking areas but I've never worked on one. Dirk and PAG will know.


Tonight we're heading in to Kristiansund for a crew change... we have one every two weeks on this vessel while working in Norwegian waters. The staff Norwegians only do two week trips thanks to the extremely strong SAFE union, but this is good for greedy day raters willing to work longer trips. 

We're sailing in beam on to a strong south-westerly and the ship's moving all over the place. It's times like this you have to remember the old saying 'one hand for yourself and one for the ship', and there are reminders at every stairway.



This will be the first of many crew changes when I watch other people leaving the vessel while I stay on board. Tomorrow we have people flying to their homes all over Europe... in addition to Norway there are crew heading to Sweden, Poland, Croatia, Germany and even Romania... and the UK of course. In times gone by, on crew change days I would have finished my shift at midday and then made my way to a bar, previously asking the OM to give me a call half an hour before the vessel was due to depart. As much drink as possible was then consumed before the OM called sometime in the late afternoon... and it was back to the boat, straight to the cabin and sleep... and up again for the following shift starting at midnight. It was a good system and caused no problems if you were sensible and discreet... but of course there's always someone to abuse it and those days are now long gone. I won't even bother getting off the boat later today.

It will be a different matter during the port call in in two weeks time... I should get a couple of days in Haugesund before the voyage to the Black Sea and I'm trying to organise a Pfizer Covid vaccination while there... and I need a new pair of trainers. The trainers should be easy but the Pifizer jab is proving very hard to get sorted and I think will probably be impossible. I'm pissed off about this... I've paid enough tax to the bastards over the years and the least they could do is give me a jab.

Anyway, while we're steaming into port, operations have obviously stopped and the vessel's like a ghost ship... a good time to take some sneaky pics.

This is the galley... probably the most dangerous part of the ship and I'm full of admiration for the cooks. In many ways they have the most difficult of jobs since whatever the weather, everyone expects a meal. When things get really rough they will serve up a 'storm soup', which just means they gave up and chucked everything into a big pan and boiled it up.

The galley is the only place on the boat where pointed knives are allowed.



The galley on this ship is kept absolutely spotless.



The food is served up here...



And eaten in the mess... a far cry from the messes I ate in 30 years ago crammed into the bows of some small stern trawler.



If you look at the photo of where the food is served up, to the right of my reflection (that I've just realised is visible in the window) you can see two lonesome plates on the green non-slip mats. This is where my opposite number, the senior day shift geo, has been leaving my plated up evening meals.

It's very nice of him to do this... but he's also a complete tosser. I've spent two weeks trying to get him to plate up small portions with practically no carbs and I was finally getting somewhere... and now he does this this. He leaves the vessel tomorrow so excelled himself tonight as a parting gesture... a huge roast chicken meal with two types of potato AND an apple crumble with custard pudding. What a dilemma this puts me in... I haven't had a single pudding or biscuit in two weeks but what can I do. Like I say, what a tosser to put me in this situation...




So... a quick competition... for a free 'Green', who can tell me how many Brits are leaving the vessel and what their names are?

----------


## Loy Toy

Nick and Simon.

----------


## Mendip

^ Well done Loy Toy... Green owed!

And I won't even go into it... ya see Katie, I've moved on!

----------


## bsnub

> Nick and Simon.


Quick on the draw, LT!

----------


## katie23

^^lol. Good onya, Mendip. Maybe Boris will give you a medal upon landing in Heathrow.  :Very Happy: 

Thanks for the galley pics. It's nice to see where my compatriots are working. Galley reminds me if the kitchen scenes in Jurassic Park (the one with the velociraptors).  :Smile: 

Some months ago, I watched a "day in the life" vlog of a Filipino seafarer. He worked in the engine room, I think. I chuckled at the end of his vid. The vlog ended with him on his bunk and a pic of lotion/ moisturizer.  :Very Happy:

----------


## David48atTD

> 


Are they the torpedo tubes?

Portholes?

If Portholes, are they on the starboard side, thus making them starboard holes?

Are the Flippers having some RnR in the next port of call?

Are they going onto the Black Sea?

---

Oh Mendy, if only you were having shore leave in Odessa (black sea)  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ They are portholes, and on the port side.

But here ya go...

_According to the Navy Department Library, the word "porthole" has nothing to do with its location on the port side of a ship, but originated during the reign of Henry VII of England  (1485). The king insisted on mounting guns too large for his ships and  therefore the conventional methods of securing the weapons on the forecastle and aftcastle  could not be used. A French shipbuilder named James Baker was  commissioned to solve the problem, which he did by piercing the ship's  sides so the cannon could be mounted inside the fore and aft castles.  For heavy weather and when the cannons were not in use, the openings  were fitted with covers, that were called porte in French, meaning 'door'. "Porte"  was Anglicized to "port" and later corrupted to porthole. Eventually,  it came to mean any opening in a ship's side whether for cannon or not._

The Filipinos are part of the marine crew so of course will be with the vessel on the transit to and during the project in the Black Sea. They tend to work 2 months on/2 months off.

They most certainly won't be getting and R&R during our port call at crew change... it is one of the most busy times for the marine crew. The stewards/stewardesses will have around 20 cabins to change bedding and make up for the new arrivals. The Filipino ABs will be busy taking on stores and organising bunkering... they will be flat out during the time alongside. I think this contract only allows 4 hours for crew changes at client expense, after that the contractor picks up the tab. We bump alongside, everything happens, then we leave. R&R is for when you leave the vessel.

----------


## David48atTD

^  Great fact.

What about POSH ?




> <snip> ... the folk etymology that POSH is formed from the initials of *port out starboard home* (referring to the more comfortable accommodation, out of the heat of the sun, on ships between England and India).

----------


## ootai

> It's very nice of him to do this... but he's also a complete tosser. I've spent two weeks trying to get him to plate up small portions with practically no carbs and I was finally getting somewhere... and now he does this this. He leaves the vessel tomorrow so excelled himself tonight as a parting gesture... a huge roast chicken meal with two types of potato AND an apple crumble with custard pudding. What a dilemma this puts me in... I haven't had a single pudding or biscuit in two weeks but what can I do. Like I say, what a tosser to put me in this situation...


I think earlier in this thread someone said you were becoming a "remoaner" but that's not true you are just a MOANER.
Just eat the food and put on the weight the paddies are waiting

----------


## Stumpy

> Just eat the food and put on the weight the paddies are waiting


 :rofl:

----------


## Saint Willy

Well, he is English after all!

----------


## Klondyke

> The galley on this ship is kept absolutely spotless.


Lucky for the whales, no contamination for them...

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ A MOANER!!! I'm surprised you think that... I've always thought of myself as quite a positive person?


Anyway, today we headed back in to Kristiansund for a crew change. This boat goes into port every two weeks to change out crew and I'm very glad it does... the alternative would be helicopters and I hate the bladdy things.

It was a shitty transit in through 4 metre seas and once in shelter from the islands it was still shitty weather.



One of Katie's compatriots disappeared down a hatch at the front of the helideck to make ready the forecastle mooring ropes.



The 'Hannah Kristina' cargo ship... I wonder what the story is behind her name? A wife or a girlfriend I guess.



The skipper decided to reverse in to the berth.



And did a fine job... I've yet to see a female captain of a boat but I'm sure they must exist. 



We approached the same berth we left from two weeks ago... it was raining then and it's still raining now. What a bleak place Norway is... constant shitty weather. Two taxis were already waiting...



I stopped watching at that point because why torture yourself when you're not getting off the boat? I must admit I'm starting to wonder how wise it was to commit to a 14 week trip... I've only been on for 2 weeks and I've had enough already. In 30 years of working offshore the longest trip at sea I've done was 10 weeks... that was in 1991 when I was young, stupid and keen, and the work was liberally disrupted by many alcohol-sodden port calls. I was also friendly with a Norwegian stewardess back then which helped things along. 

There's none of that behaviour these days of course... now it's a slog and it'll be 14 weeks of continuous, busy 12 hour shifts. I think it may just destroy what little sanity I have left after 7 months in Isaan... but still, mustn't grumble... or I'll have Ootai on me back again.

After shift on the way to my cabin I did of course take a peak outside to torture myself. It'll be my turn to walk down that gangway in 12 weeks! 

And the stores had arrived...



Three slabs of baked beans... lovely, I think I'll treat meself to a breakfast tomorrow!

----------


## bsnub

> Three slabs of baked beans...


 :Puke:

----------


## Saint Willy

Mendy, while away from the family Id work as much as I can get, you dont get paid for time off or visiting family!

----------


## Stumpy

HAHAHAHA Snubs...I said the same thing. Imagine, Baked beans over fried SPAM......

----------


## ootai

> ^^^^ A MOANER!!! I'm surprised you think that... I've always thought of myself as quite a positive person?
> 
> I stopped watching at that point because why torture yourself when you're not getting off the boat? I must admit I'm starting to wonder how wise it was to commit to a 14 week trip... I've only been on for 2 weeks and I've had enough already. In 30 years of working offshore the longest trip at sea I've done was 10 weeks... that was in 1991 when I was young, stupid and keen, and the work was liberally disrupted by many alcohol-sodden port calls. I was also friendly with a Norwegian stewardess back then which helped things along. 
> 
> There's none of that behaviour these days of course... now it's a slog and it'll be 14 weeks of continuous, busy 12 hour shifts. I think it may just destroy what little sanity I have left after 7 months in Isaan... but still, mustn't grumble... or I'll have Ootai on me back again.



Mate I don't mean to be so harsh but you were moaning about what looked like a delicious meal with pudding as well, that is just unacceptable.

However moaning about 14 weeks of 12 hour shifts that is  a whole different ball game.
I don't envy you one little bit it is going to be hard to stay mentally on top of it all but just remember just like all good things end so do all bad things.
Plus you should have a bigger bank balance at the end.

I don't really want to remind you of what you are missing but that picture of your daughter and Yogi you posted was unbelievable I have never seen him look like that before.
I now trust what you told me about him. I would love to spend more time with him as I reckon i could get him to come around to liking me a bit more.

Any reports on the pond or the fish from the gardener?

----------


## ootai

> HAHAHAHA Snubs...I said the same thing. Imagine, Baked beans over fried SPAM......



would be delicious if they were Hienz beans.

----------


## bsnub

> Imagine, Baked beans over fried SPAM......


I will take spam any day.




> would be delicious if they were Hienz beans.


An American castaway.

----------


## cyrille

From a very young age.

He spells in conch shells.

----------


## aging one

> I will take spam any day.


No No No.  Even in Arabia 60 years ago that stuff was the last choice.  I grew up on Campbell's pork and beans, and with some meals I like the baked beans here, but they are much sweeter than Campbell's . Not at breakfast though.

----------


## cyrille

Spam is the devil's fucking spawn.

Nobody but a filipino and possibly Topper would take that ahead of beans.

----------


## Topper

> possibly Topper would take that ahead of beans.


 :Sad:    I'd take spam ahead of any canned beans.  I can honestly say I've not eaten baked beans from a can in decades.

However, tomorrow I might be getting some canned black eyed peas.

----------


## dirk diggler

Going home from the rig like…

----------


## Stumpy

> Campbell's pork and beans,


I remember those, never ate them. I always passed on Pork and Beans. Way to runny and usually to sweet. My Mom used to make Split pea soup with a big ham hock in it and homemade Chili with Beans.

----------


## ootai

> From a very young age.
> 
> He spells in conch shells.


Wow another awe inspiring post from the Master.
And I'm the one who gets accused of posting meaningless drivel!
You have exceeded my expectations once again.

----------


## katie23

> Spam is the devil's fucking spawn.
> 
> Nobody but a filipino and possibly Topper would take that ahead of beans.


LOL. If you give an ordinary, mid to lower class Filipino a can of Spam, he/she will take it gladly. A can of baked beans, it depends...

As for me, I'd prefer Spam over baked beans, but I rarely eat either of the two.

----------


## dirk diggler

Spam fritters anyone?

----------


## katie23

^err, I'll pass.

Dirk, is that a Scottish thing? Like deep fried Mars bars?

----------


## PAG

> ^err, I'll pass.
> 
> Dirk, is that a Scottish thing? Like deep fried Mars bars?


Spam fritters were reasonably popular UK wide, though probably more so in Scotland.

----------


## dirk diggler

Deep fried anything, Katie.

----------


## Mendip

^ What was the relevance of the '24' written on your socks Dirk? I thought you rig guys just wrote 'L' and 'R' on your footwear?  :Smile: 





> Spam is the devil's fucking spawn.


I would have to disagree... a SPAM sandwich dunked in a bowl of Heinz Tomato Soup is one of the few pleasures left in my life.





> Mate I don't mean to be so harsh but you were moaning about what looked like a delicious meal with pudding as well, that is just unacceptable.
> 
> ... that picture of your daughter and Yogi you posted was unbelievable I have never seen him look like that before.
> I now trust what you told me about him. I would love to spend more time with him...


Ootai, I thought it was just tongue in cheek, cynical humour, but I've also heard from another source that I have a tendency to moan... so from now on I'll try and make my posts a bit more upbeat... LOL  :Smile:  :Smile:  :Smile: 

You'll be pleased to know that I ate the apple crumble with custard and very good it was too... even if it did contain way to many cloves for my taste... ROFL  :Smile: 

Oh, and I can hook you up with Yogi but it seems a bit weird...


The crew changed passed without incident but caused a lot of disruption to my last shift. Two young, keen staff geos have been assigned to my project to help move it along... I'll lose time while getting them up to speed but after that progress should pick up markedly. One of the young geos is of the female persuasion which is always nice.

Tonight I went into the gym and there was someone else there. 



This is one of our online surveyors who should have been on shift but sneaked down to the gym while we're in transit back out to the field. He used to live in the Philippines but sold up and brought his family back to Norway last year because Covid just made it impossible to travel for work. I only mention this because I thought Katie may be interested... I don't know whereabouts he lived but I do know that wherever it was they don't speak Tagalog but some other language... he told me three times what it was but I still couldn't pick it up so eventually I just pretended that I'd understood him, but I think it began with a 'B'.

Anyway, he pissed me off tonight... when I arrived he was doing some ridiculous speed on this bike thing and after half an hour, instead of collapsing he jumped on the treadmill next to mine and started showing off. I left early tonight... but I reckon I've got 20 years on him and like to see him do that in his 50s. Thankfully I should have the gym to myself again tomorrow night once we're back on operations.

One of the English guys that came on brought the toe guards that I'd sent to him from Amazon... but I fukked up and there wasn't one in each pack but six. I now have enough toe guards to cover a lifetime of pond cleaning. Maybe Ootai would like a couple for his manky fingers... LOL  :Smile: 




More prefect Norwegian bananas came on board with the new stores. They even come pre-separated so all you have to do is take one out of the bowl without fiddling about. A pic for Headworx.







> Lucky for the whales, no contamination for them...


It's funny that you say that Klondyke...

Tonight's menu.



Yes, you won't see that on the menu in many parts of the world.



Personally I don't eat it... I think whaling is cruel, unnecessary and I don't agree with it. It's strange how two of the wealthiest nations on the planet insist on continuing the practice, but anyway, if you're interested... tastes similar to a cross between steak and liver by all accounts.

----------


## Headworx

> What was the relevance of the '24' written on you socks Dirk? I thought you rig guys just wrote 'L' and 'R' on your footwear?


Ouch!  :Smile: 

Obviously a good wind-up but some may like to know 24 was Dirk's cabin number on a site and the laundry staff will have written that on them so they knew which room to return them too once washed. Funny story of a job in PNG once when the 3 support Helicopters arrived with a team of about 10 pilots and engineers. They all wore those light blue shirts aviation guys tend to prefer and a new laundry girl who'd been told to mark each room's washing with a permanent marker really went to town, she wrote numbers about 12 inches in length on the backs of their shirts. They looked more like a soccer team than an aviation crew after that  :Razz:

----------


## katie23

@dirk - I saw a guy eat deep fried pizza in a Scotland travel vlog. Ugh...

@mendip - the language was probably Bisaya. It's spoken in the central islands (eastern Visayas region like Cebu) and in parts of Mindanao, like Davao (where Pres Du30 is from). I don't speak Bisaya - only know a few words. I speak Tagalog since I'm from south Luzon (or the "mainland", near Manila).

I think Graceless Fawn (another Filipina on TD, she comes & goes) speaks both Bisaya & Tagalog. 

It's like Thai lamguage being spoken in BKK and surrounds (Tagalog) while Lao is spoken in Isaan (Bisaya). That's my analogy. 

Re: travel & the Norwegian's work during covid - yeah, it's tough to travel around PH now. To go to another island you'd need a test plus sometimes home quarantine. Topper can't go to another island to file his spouse visa, since he'll need to quarantine for 14 days in that island, and another 14 days when he returns to his island. 

I've only left my province once since March last year, and that was to fix some papers in Manila (considered as essential travel).

----------


## dirk diggler

HW is right, it’s my room number, but only so they can sort them again after washing as I have to collect my laundry. 

And for the record, Mendip, my work socks do have L and R on them. Makes no difference to the morbidly obese that need other people to pull their socks on for them  :Very Happy: 

Katie, seriously, if you haven’t tried a batter pizza have you really ever lived?

----------


## cyrille

> Graceless Fawn (another Filipina on TD, she comes & goes)


Indeed, katie.

 ::doglol::

----------


## Topper

Hey Mendip, we saw this in the grocery in the back....



Then out in the main store...

----------


## lom

^ Often used as sausage meat, most people have eaten spam.
Packed in a tin or packed in a skin, same same but different.

----------


## katie23

@topper - lol. Filipinos love their Spam. Btw was that Korean instant noodles at the back of the Spam tower?

The last time I bought Spam, I bought the less sodium version _wasn't too salty. 

@dirk - if ever I go to Scotland, I'll try out the deep fried Mars bars, Spam fritters and fried pizza!

@cyrille - LOL on that!

----------


## Mendip

^^^ That is just superb Topper... you'd need a small fortune to buy that lot in Thailand. I think it's about 260 Baht a tin.

It's things like this that make me regret moving to Thailand. Korat is a Spam desert and even Villa Market have been out of stock the last few times I've visited Bangkok.

----------


## lom

> It's things like this that make me regret moving to Thailand. Korat is a Spam desert and even Villa Market have been out of stock the last few times I've visited Bangkok.


You've got to learn how to order online on internet from Expatfoods/Britishop. It is not difficult.  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

If you wanna see love for spam, you should try Korea.

At Christmas you can treat your loved ones to a spam gift pack!

Socks or spam? Hmmmm. Tough choice.

----------


## armstrong

> You've got to learn how to order online on internet from Expatfoods/Britishop. It is not difficult.


There's a Brit shop on Lazada. I got 12 packs of out of date Wotsits for 100bht.

----------


## nidhogg

> You've got to learn how to order online on internet from Expatfoods/Britishop. It is not difficult.


Yeah - he will not even order himself a decent steak on line........

----------


## Shutree

> There's a Brit shop on Lazada. I got 12 packs of out of date Wotsits for 100bht.


That's a good thing?  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> Korat is a Spam desert


That is a bad thing?  :Smile:

----------


## Topper

> I think it's about 260 Baht a tin.


Here, its 180 pesos (118B). 




> Btw was that Korean instant noodles at the back of the Spam tower?


To be honest, I've never looked.  We very rarely eat instant noodles.

----------


## helge

> I would have to disagree... a SPAM sandwich dunked in a bowl of Ya Dong is one of the few pleasures left in my life.


Aperitif ?



> Ootai, I thought it was just tongue in cheek, cynical humour, but I've also heard from another source that I have a tendency to moan.


Divorce them both

You are not a moaner



> What was the relevance of the '24' written on your socks Dirk? I thought you rig guys just wrote 'L' and 'R' on your footwear?


 :smiley laughing: 

Oldie but goodie

----------


## Stumpy

Happy  Friday to ya Mendy!

----------


## Mendip

> You are not a moaner


Thank you Helge, I've always liked you.


There's not much of interest going on out here at the moment. We're a few kilometres north of Åsgard carrying out a large grid survey for a new development, specifically looking for coral mounds and reefs. This is the first stage or a series of surveys, if the presence of coral is ascertained it has to be avoided and then more detailed surveys will be carried out at suitable locations. This survey will cover an area of 6km square and take 4 days.

This photo is just to show the wake at the stern of the vessel... the survey ROV is doing 2 metres/sec (4 knts) and at this speed the movement of the vessel keeping up with the ROV is very obvious.



These cold water corals are fascinating. The coral mounds can be tens of metres across and maybe 4 metres high, and will be many thousands of years old. to be honest, in areas like this there is rarely much live coral left having been smashed to shit by trawling, but the oil industry has to be whiter than white and so studiously avoids interfering with any coral mounds or reefs, even if they are completely dead.

Many warm water, tropical corals live in symbiosis with green algae and gain nourishment from the sugars the algae produce by photosynthesis. These cold water corals live in deep water, well beyond the photic zone where no photosynthesis can occur, and are thought to survive in ecosystems gaining nourishment from up-welling, hydrocarbon rich, gas and fluids originating from the underlying reservoirs thousands of metres below the seabed.

But anyway, enough of that. Someone asked what my daughter eats when I come away to work... was it Snubs? Well, she sent me pics of her tea tonight and it doesn't look too bad... fish and a cheesy potato...



And mushy peas!



I'm glad that she's getting fed some Western food but a bit pissed off that she's developed a taste for my Batchelor's mushy peas... they're like gold dust in Korat.

LOL   :Smile: 

That reminds me... a pic of Yogi for Ootai... he really is a strange one.

Yogi, that is...



But he looks after his master. Yogi was also trying to tell me something a few weeks ago...

----------


## Stumpy

> 


His claws are as ragged and messed up as your toenails.... :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, but at least he's got the full compliment.

I'm currently down to nine but the way things are looking it'll be eight very shortly.

I know one thing... if my dogs ever start sniffing any other part of my body I'll get it checked out pronto. I don't want anything else falling off.


Hang on a minute... Edit: That post included some fascinating facts about cold water corals yet you focus on the state of my toe nails? I don't know why I bother sometimes!  :Smile:

----------


## lom

> my Batchelor's mushy peas... they're like gold dust in Korat.


Bring out your credit card and order some for the girl


https://www.google.com/search?q=Batchelor&#39;s+mushy+peas

----------


## bsnub

> His claws are as ragged and messed up as your toenails....


True! If you are going to own soi dogs, then at least trim those nails.

----------


## Joe 90

> True! If you are going to own soi dogs, then at least trim those nails. That is inhumane.


I've never had to trim my dogs nails, they tend to file down naturally when walking on hard surfaces. 
I concur, Mendips nails are inhumane  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Fascinating cold water corals.
disgusting class!

----------


## bsnub

> I concur, Mendips nails are inhumane


Nails and feet.  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> Nails and feet.


Yours are better?

----------


## Mendip

^ There's a lot of foot-critical people on this forum I've noticed. Mine have never looked better after a few weeks away from Isaan... apart from the toes of course. My heels have cracked again as well which is pretty annoying.

Anyway, a couple of boring work pics to get them out of the way...






Yesterday the Filipino night cook laid on tilapia along with the soup and rice... but I didn't come all the way to Norway to eat yet more pla nin, not when there's cod on offer some days. Minimal effort seemed to have gone in to preparing these tilapia, they'd just been chopped in half.




It is now conformed that I'll be staying on board for the transit down to the Black Sea to finish up an existing project... this gets around the impossibility of now working in the Norwegian office thanks to... ah, what's the point. LOL Katie!  :Smile: 

In fact I'm quite looking forward to the voyage... I'll be the only person from 'survey' on board and it'll just be me, the marine crew and a couple of ROV types doing maintenance. The boat will feel deserted and so long as I get the project finished I'll be able to do as I please. There are a few notable landmarks to see on the way to Istanbul although sod's law usually dictates that we will pass them during the night.

Some time the week after next we will make a port call in Haugesund for a few days to demobilise this project and mobilise for the Black Sea work. But forget that stuff, my mission while we're alongside in Haugesund will be to get meself some new trainers for the gym and try and get my first Covid jab.

My research is starting to look promising. I approached the seaman's welfare organisation and received the following response...


_Thank you for your mail!
_
_Sjømannskirken is not  directly involved in any kind off vaccination, nor do we have any kind  of medical staff in our organisation. We would recommand you to get in  touch with Haugesund kommune:_ 
_phone: 815 xx xxx
_
_vaccinesRus@haugesund.kommune.no
_
_They can answer if you can show up for a vaccine/drop in-vaccine. _ 
_The best of luck to you!_


I also tried the survey manager for this company who is an old friend, and a Brit living in Norway so he will have gone through this already...


_Hi Mendy,
_
_Nice to hear from you, all good my side ��  I did a bit of research, and it looks like it is possible._

_  Based on  the feedback from a few people, you can use the drop in centre for it  and but you need to register, but you can do this with your D Number. You  can maybe email these guys as  a start -_ _vaccinesRus@haugesund.kommune.no_


Both lines of inquiry led to the same email address which is hopeful, so I've sent my request and am awaiting a reply. I have a 'D' number (Norwegian tax number) so fingers crossed. I've been told that Norway are mixing the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines... if you get Pfizer first, you get Moderna second and vice versa. My hope is to get a Pfizer next week in Haugesund and then a second Pfizer around 10 weeks later in the UK after the Black Sea work is finished. 

It's a plan at least, all subject to change.

----------


## nidhogg

^your problem will be documenting full vaccination for future travel.

----------


## Mendip

^ Even if I have a certificate from both Norway and the UK?

I must admit I hadn't really considered that.

----------


## katie23

You're improving, Mendip. Boris may indeed give you that medal!  :Very Happy: 

Went to the supermarket recently and I made it my mission to go to the Spam section. 

Spam is 180 pesos, same price as Topper's supermarket.



Beside Spam was Ma-Ling, a popular & cheaper alternative to Spam. It's from China.



A few years ago, Pres Du30 said he was cutting ties with the USA and drawing closer to China. Because of that, this meme became popular.

----------


## malmomike77

> Beside Spam was Ma-Ling, a popular & cheaper alternative to Spam. It's from China.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  :Smile:

----------


## mikenot

> ^ Even if I have a certificate from both Norway and the UK?
> 
> I must admit I hadn't really considered that.


I think you will find that you will only get a certificate after being fully vaccinated, so you would have to show proof of the Norwegian jab somehow, and persuade NHS to accept it, before  getting a UK vaccination certificate.

----------


## Saint Willy

> You're improving, Mendip. Boris may indeed give you that medal! 
> 
> Went to the supermarket recently and I made it my mission to go to the Spam section. 
> 
> Spam is 180 pesos, same price as Topper's supermarket.
> 
> 
> 
> Beside Spam was Ma-Ling, a popular & cheaper alternative to Spam. It's from China.
> ...



 :Puke:

----------


## Mendip

^^ I originally wanted to get vaccinated for ease of travel but tbh I have started accepting that I may be in an at risk group due to bordering on overweight and also I'm prone to elevated blood pressure when back home with the wife... so if at all possible I'll get jabbed up ASAP and try and sort out any certificate issues if and when they arise.

----------


## helge

> I think you will find that you will only get a certificate after being fully vaccinated


If Norway is anything like Denmark (and they are almost similar  :Smile: ) he'll get a paper proving first jab.

Denmark now gives vaccines to seamen, people in transit, tourists, passers through, at concerts, shopping malls etc.

They have even started supplying New Zealand ??????

All restrictions are off.

We don't need our Coruna-passports.

There is reason to believe, that it'll be the same in Norway soonish

But when you want to get on a plane........it all starts again

----------


## OhOh

> I'm prone to elevated blood pressure when back home with the wife...


Thai wives have a god given duty to annoy their husbands, falangs or otherwise.

Smile back, but be ready to run.  :Smile: 
*
Bilbo's Mithril shirt*

_"__The origins of the shirt are largely unknown, though it was said to have  been made for a young Elf prince long ago. It eventually came to be  part of the Dwarven treasure hoard of the Lonely Mountain. It was found by the dragon Smaug and added to his treasure heap. Here, it was given by Thorin II Oakenshield to the hobbit Bilbo Baggins, who wore it during the Battle of Five Armies.[1] After returning to the Shire, Bilbo loaned the shirt to the Mathom-house. Before departing the Shire for Rivendell, Bilbo reclaimed the shirt and wore it on that journey.

Many years later it was given by Bilbo to his nephew Frodo Baggins as Frodo set out on his quest to Mount Doom to destroy the One Ring.[2]  Frodo wore the chain shirt under his tunic, unknown to the rest of the  Fellowship. 

It was discovered when, during a skirmish in the mines of Moria,  

An Orc chieftain stabbed Frodo with a spear. The shirt prevented what  would have been a lethal wound, leaving Frodo badly bruised but  otherwise uninjured"__



https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Bilbo%27s_Mithril_shirt
_
Available?   at 

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005002764033443.html?spm=a2g0o.search0304.0.0.472  456a3O85qt2&algo_pvid=863e6297-9588-449b-8973-e80e961bc1be&algo_exp_id=863e6297-9588-449b-8973-e80e961bc1be-32





> try and sort out any certificate issues if and when they arise.


Your local temple will arrange the compulsary blessing ceremony and give you the beautiful embosed certificate.

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## malmomike77

Mendip, it seems a worrying episode has returned from the past, if you feel like solving it I am sure TD will support you in the investigation.

Somerset couple report latex-clad masked man spying on them at night | The Independent

----------


## Joe 90

Mendips got it well cushy on that vessel, single cabin a gentle cruise down to the Black Sea.
It's a bloody health camp with that gym and salad bar and he's getting paid!

Spare a thought for the less unfortunate that have to endure a Saturday night freak show on the piss pop north and have to eat utter filth...

Its grim oop Norf..

Lady boys and cobbles..


FFS, effing freak show..


Utter filth..


Ended the weekend on a high, look at them peas...

Can't beat some Swedish horse meat balls.
Btw...How do you make a Venetian blind?



Poke him in the fvcking eye!


All the best Mendy, oh and sort your feet and footwear out! :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ You can keep your pole dancing Joe but I wouldn't mind a go on that kebab!

And it goes without saying that those peas look superb.

Yes, a health camp indeed... it would be nice to step off this boat with a healthier body, not just a healthier bank account. I've missed just a couple of nights in the gym and I haven't had a drink for 3 weeks now. I'm getting worried I may lose too much weight.





> Denmark now gives vaccines to seamen, people in transit, tourists, passers through, at concerts, shopping malls etc.
> 
> There is reason to believe, that it'll be the same in Norway soonish


Fingers crossed Helge... I'm eagerly waiting for an email from the local Kommune. You make Denmark almost sound worth visiting!





> Mendip, it seems a worrying episode has returned from the past, if you feel like solving it I am sure TD will support you in the investigation.
> 
> Somerset couple report latex-clad masked man spying on them at night | The Independent


Yes Mike, I read about that... Gimp Man is back!

Claverham is just a few miles from the village I grew up in and I know it well.

This time around though I have a watertight alibi... I'm on a boat! He does look abnormally thin and should be pretty easy for the police to pick up.

----------


## Stumpy

> I've missed just a couple of nights in the gym and I haven't had a drink for 3 weeks now.


Nice job Mendy.  Keep it up.  I have lost a few kgs in quarantine primarily from self discipline on portion sizes, exercises in the room. I had considered renting a stationary bike or a treadmill but the cost is as much as buying new.  Total rip off so I passed and just do isometric type activities. I will say it's very easy in quarantine to eat out of boredom then sleep.  I have avoided that completely so far.  

Good luck on your vaccine quest.  Quite honestly I would just be worried about not being vaccinated at all.  One miscue on a boat and it could be big trouble.

----------


## mudcat

Lets close out the Spam branch of this thread:

Regarding Spam [May 1], is it true, as travel writer Paul Theroux claims, that the people of the South Pacific love their Spam because it tastes so much likepeople? Mary E. Sage, via the Internet


Marketing Spam must present some unique challenges. Imagine the conversation in the boardroom:

Spam Product Manager #1: Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Spam is hugely popular among the people of the South Pacific. The bad news is that, according to the famous travel writer Paul Theroux, the islanders dig it because theyre ex-cannibals and they think Spam tastes like human flesh.

The Straight Dope - Chicago Reader

----------


## Stumpy

I still say do your own smell test with SPAM. Open a can of dog food and a can of SPAM.  They smell the same or very close. Probably similar ingredients.  I did find it interesting that Katie says it's an upscale food and reasonably expensive. Shocking quite frankly.

----------


## cyrille

Well, it might be if you’re unfamiliar with Filipino ‘cuisine’  :Sad:

----------


## Stumpy

> Well, it might be if you’re unfamiliar with Filipino ‘cuisine’


Well Cyrille after being married for 20 years to a Filipina, I am quite familiar with their cuisine. In the US its cheap but my wife never bought it as she knew it was bad for you. However some of her family would bring some when they infiltrated our home for a week. They were told to cook it outside. I admit on my 3 trips to visit family in the Philippines, SPAM was never offered.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm amazed at the controversy surrounding SPAM... surely deep water corals are more interesting?

Sure, it's not the healthiest of foods and it's not as though I grew up eating it morning, noon and night, but SPAM sandwiches were a staple to take on a day's fishing trip. It is perfect for sandwiches... it stays together and doesn't make the bread go soggy. Try making corned beef sandwiches, they can make a hell of a mess.

I must admit I've never really noticed any smell to SPAM either... try opening a tin of sardines if you want a strong smell... and who doesn't love sardines on toast? Although to be fair our kitchen in Isaan has an awful lot of other smells to compete with a tin of SPAM.

I think you need to lighten up a bit on the SPAM front JP and I've got you a welcome home present to wear next time you're cooking up a fancy steak on your barbecue.

----------


## cyrille

^^If the Filipino side of the family was told to cook their food outside of your house then why is SPAM a ‘shock’?  :Very Happy:

----------


## cyrille

> Sure, it's not the healthiest of foods and it's not as though I grew up eating it morning, noon and night, but SPAM sandwiches were a staple to take on a day's fishing trip.


Handy if you ran out of maggots?  :Very Happy: 

I’m from that generation too though, kids of war children. Our mothers got used to tinned food, so cooked with it when they got older, I guess.

I remember spam fritters watching the Sunderland vs Leeds FA cup final on the telly.  :Very Happy: 

A visit to my granny’s usually featured tinned fruit and condensed milk at some point. 

BREXIT might bring it back into fashion.

----------


## Stumpy

> then why is SPAM a ‘shock


My shock is that Katie mentioned it is an upscale food, that's all.  I guess when we visited, we weren't served the best.  :Smile: .

----------


## Mendip

^ Maybe they gave you the Chinese SPAM?

Even I would think twice about that!  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> ^ Maybe they gave you the Chinese SPAM?
> 
> Even I would think twice about that!


 :smiley laughing: 

Moving on...

Got any more coral pics Mendy?  How deep were those other pics?

----------


## Mendip

I do have plenty more coral pics but I can't work out if you're being sarcastic or not... they were just under 300m down btw.

One more...

----------


## reinvented

my dear mother brought a can on her last visit to bangers (brought not bought).
she left it and i tried a slice on a sandwich, perhaps like cyrille, longing for simpler days of old and tinned food.

im with the south sea islanders. i'd sooner eat a neighbour than subject myself to spam again

----------


## Stumpy

> I do have plenty more coral pics but I can't work out if you're being sarcastic or not.


Not being sarcastic at all. I have always been intrigued with sea life at various depths. I didn't think coral grew very deep due to the lack of sunlight available and of course marine eco life to support it.

----------


## Headworx

Thought of you today while running around town grocery shopping Mendip, you could make your Daughters day with a delivery from afar  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Wow, tinned salmon is also on her list for fishcakes. Villa Market on Sukhumvit has been out of stock for months.

I'll have to get onto this online food shopping.

----------


## Headworx

> I'll have to get onto this online food shopping.


You've had success with it before mate, who could ever forget that cast-net you ordered online?

----------


## katie23

@JP - yes, Spam is considered as pricey & upscale in PH, that's why the cheaper Ma-Ling is also popular (and tastes similar).

Spam costs 180 pesos or ~3.5 usd, and you can only eat it for 1 meal. It costs the same as a kg of whole chicken (and you can do more meals with a whole chicken).

@mendip - ask your Filipino colleagues if they like Spam or Ma-Ling. I'm sure many of them do. That's why I said before that ordinary Filipinos would be happy with the breakfast spread that you have on board. (Spam or sausage, rice + egg = a Spamsilog meal)

Sinangag = fried rice, itlog = egg

----------


## Shutree

> I do have plenty more coral pics


I for one would be interested to see more. I have seen a lot of corals down to 30m, after that I don't go there.

No more Spam pics though please. I have a childhood memory of Spam fritters. I was young and got away with a caution. I learned my lesson and never repeat offended.

----------


## David48atTD

If only my parents were rich enough to afford SPAM ... we were reduced to Devon sausage sangers.



If we had a good week there would be (in order) a slice of bread, devon slice, tomato sauce, and second devon slice (keeping the sauce away from the bread and stop making it soggy) and a slice of bread.  School boy staple.

SPAM ... for the rich kids!

---

If only we had the fancy devon back then ...



YOU RICH BASTARDS!

----------


## Saint Willy

> im with the south sea islanders. i'd sooner eat a neighbour than subject myself to spam again



 :goldcup: 





> I for one would be interested to see more. I have seen a lot of corals down to 30m, after that I don't go there.


I didn't think there was enough light down there...





> second devon slice (keeping the sauce away from the bread and stop making it soggy) and a slice of bread. School boy staple.



TWO slices?

Fuckn rich kid!

----------


## David48atTD

> TWO slices?
> 
> Fuckn rich kid!


"_If we had a good week_"  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

An apple and an orange for Christmas...that you shared with your brother and sister?  :Smile: 

Eeeh, when I were a lad...

----------


## bsnub

Ok now this is getting a little ridiculous.

----------


## helge

> Ok now this is getting a little ridiculous.


Could be worse

----------


## katie23

^lol. I can't believe I watched that!

I'll have the egg, baked beans, sausage and SPAM combo, please.  :Very Happy:

----------


## bsnub

> I'll have the egg, baked beans, sausage and SPAM combo, please.


 :Puke:

----------


## Mendip

> I have always been intrigued with sea life at various depths. I didn't think coral grew very deep due to the lack of sunlight available and of course marine eco life to support it.





> I for one would be interested to see more. I have seen a lot of corals down to 30m, after that I don't go there.





> I didn't think there was enough light down there...



Good... there are some sensible posts in between the Spam... and do you see what I did there!  :Smile: 

A little known fact... there are more species of cold, deep water corals than warm, shallow water corals in the tropics, but due to their inaccessibility very little is known about them.

They live below the photic zone, the zone that provides enough light for photosynthesis to occur, which is typically down to around 100m depth. Many warm water corals live in relationship with zooplankton and algae which provide nourishment to the coral from the products of photosynthesis... so the deep water corals have to find another source of food. The majority are suspension feeders and therefore live in areas with appreciable bottom water current to supply the suspended food. The water current also helps to prevent the corals being smothered by sediment. There is also a theory that many deep water corals may gain nourishment from hydrothermal fluids rich in hydrocarbons and we often find corals living above oil and gas fields if the seabed is suitable...  but it is only a theory that they gain nourishment from the hydrcarbons . Many people don't realise that there is often constant seepage of hydrocarbon-rich fluids and gas from the seabed above oil and gas fields. I've seen bubbles of gas streaming from the seabed over an area of many tens of metres before now.

Research on deep water marine life is extremely expensive and occasionally academic institutions ask us to send them videos/pictures from deep water to help their work. The clients are usually happy for us to do this.

Here's another pic. The majority of this reef is made from dead coral although you can see the white tips to the dead coral reef that is living _lophelia_, the reef-building coral species. There are also a few other colourful species of living coral and some nice sponges at the back of the pic.



A few years ago while working in deep water off Brazil I managed to persuade the ROV guys to pick me up a bit of dead coral similar to the stuff in this picture... I told them we needed it for the project to do some analysis on. It was during a nightshift while the OM was asleep so I gave the chunk of coral a good wash and stuck it in my bag (it was dead coral so this was environmentally friendly). Now it sits in my fish tank at home, although to be honest my stories about deep water coral create about as much interest from my wife and daughter as it seems to create on this thread. 

I find deep water coral interesting but have to accept that not everyone does.

To slightly change the subject for others, I'd also like to point out that there's a lot more to SPAM than sandwiches and fritters, although tbh I've never really been more adventurous than making a Spam sarnie with a smudge of mustard.

There's a big world of SPAM out there...

----------


## Stumpy

I gotta say Mendy, the cover of that cookbook doesn't help the cause that SPAM is good. It all looks like utter crap and nasty. The SPAM monkey bread is dog food disguised as food humans can eat.

All I can say is to all who like, it...Enjoy.!!!

----------


## helge

:spam2: 


> SPAM


Spam in your mail, is something unwanted and unasked for.

In a tin, it seems to be the other way around.


I have tasted it many moons ago, but can't recall if it was good or not so good.

----------


## bsnub

> I gotta say Mendy, the cover of that cookbook doesn't help the cause that SPAM is good.


Did I start this? If I did, I am sorry. I just put my can of spam outside for someone less fortunate than me to find.  :Smile: 




> It all looks like utter crap and nasty.


Agreed.

----------


## OhOh

^
How long does it sit there for?

----------


## OhOh

> I'll have to get onto this online food shopping.


Any Cornish Pasties online?

----------


## helge

> How long does it sit there for?


Gone in 60 seconds

He lives in Spamerica   :Smile: 

 :spam2:

----------


## Topper

> I've never really been more adventurous than making a Spam sarnie with a smudge of mustard.


A spam, egg and cheese sandwich with mayo and mustard is nice.  A spam, spam, egg and cheese and spam sandwich though is superb.

Thanks for putting up the info about deep water coral.  I thought that coral needed sunlight as well.

----------


## malmomike77

> There is also a theory that many deep water corals may gain nourishment from hydrothermal fluids rich in hydrocarbons


Hovland agrees with you.




> I find deep water coral interesting but have to accept that not everyone does.


I find it interesting, keep it coming.

----------


## helge

> Hovland agrees with you.


And the danish "Bubbles Reef" in Kattegat

----------


## Saint Willy

> Many warm water corals live in relationship with zooplankton and algae which provide nourishment to the coral from the


A symbiotic relationship as generally one cannot survive without the other. But thanks for the lesson on the cold water corals now I am interested

----------


## katie23

^corals are good, but SPAM is great!  :Very Happy: 

The SPAM fried rice doesn't look bad (from the cookbook). I'll have a portion of that, please.  :Very Happy: 

SPAM is popular in Hawaii too! 14 flavors!

----------


## Stumpy

> 14 flavors!


OK, something is wrong if there are 14 flavors for processed meat that was likely the bottom of the slaughter bucket that got ground up and push into a tin. The most disgusting thing for me when I saw my family members open a tin was when they pushed it out onto a plate this shiny gooey looking gelatin came with it. 

( I just verp'd)....

 :Puke:

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> ^corals are good, but SPAM is great! 
> 
> The SPAM fried rice doesn't look bad (from the cookbook). I'll have a portion of that, please. 
> 
> SPAM is popular in Hawaii too! 14 flavors!


I love a spam sandwich. The span fried on both sides until brown, with slices Tomatoes and mustard, between two pieces  of toasted bread.
 Mmm Mmmm Good!!

----------


## Mendip

> ...they pushed it out onto a plate this shiny gooey looking gelatin came with it.


You'll be saying you don't like pork pies next JP. These things need a bit of jelly.





> ^corals are good, but SPAM is great!


You seem to be a hard core SPAM supporter Katie!

I hope it's not too forward but I've bought you an early Christmas present...







> A symbiotic relationship as generally one cannot survive without the other. But thanks for the lesson on the cold water corals now I am interested…


Yes, exactly. Both parties benefit from a symbiotic relationship whereas only one party benefits from a parasitic relationship, for example the bladdy ticks that kept infesting our dogs until I discovered Bravecto. A well-developed parasite won't harm it's host too much as if the host dies, so does the parasite.





> Hovland agrees with you.
> 
> I find it interesting, keep it coming.


I used to know Martin Hovland well, before he retired he worked for Statoil and was a regular client rep on the boats I worked on.

But... I only said it was a theory, not necessarily that I agreed with it.

I think there can be a tendency to develop a theory and then make any findings fit. The vast majority of our work is above hydrocarbon reservoirs so it is difficult  to make an assumption that coral colonies are concentrated more in these areas than elsewhere... data from a much wider area would be needed imho. There are also coral reefs at the entrances to many fjords and the main requirement seems to be a hard substrate such as rock to which they can attach.

I widely hear that many coral colonies are thousands if years old... yet here's a 30 year-old subsea pipeline (bundle) in around 350m of water with coral attached. There are theories that the coral prefers the slightly higher temperatures associated with subsea hydrocarbon pipelines... or maybe it is just something hard for them to attach to?



Another bundle in deep water also around 30 years old... there is so much coral growth that it has covered the valve panel and obstructed ROV tool access.

----------


## Stumpy

> You'll be saying you don't like pork pies next JP. These things need a bit of jelly.


Sorry. "Jelly" and meat do not go together. Its just disgusting on virtually every level.

----------


## Shutree

> The SPAM fried rice doesn't look bad (from the cookbook). I'll have a portion of that, please.


Oh dear! 
Katie, Katie, Katie. 
No, just no.

----------


## Stumpy

Great Pics of ocean floor Mendy.

In a previous company I worked for we  produced fiber coupled laser diode pump assemblies that were sent to a company named Alcatel who was laying huge Telecommunication submarine fiberoptic bundle cables around the the point of Chile/Argentina and back up each coast.  Started near Ecuador and finished up at Brazil. Thousands of miles of cable.  Many of our pedigree review meetings were completed with occasionally a live feed from the ship rolling out the fiber bundles. I used to see some really interesting pictures and videos of the cable being laid across the ocean floor.

----------


## helge

> No, just no.


https://www.slideshare.net/HubSpot/m...malamadingdong

----------


## Saint Willy

> Sorry. "Jelly" and meat do not go together. Its just disgusting on virtually every level.


Pork pies are great. 

Paté and foie gras have a layer of jelly to keep them fresh.

----------


## Stumpy

> Pork pies are great. 
> 
> Paté and foie gras have a layer of jelly to keep them fresh.


The only meat I think that is acceptable with "Jelly" is a rack of lamb. Anything that pours out of a can with gelatin or Jelly....is dog food. However, we all have our preferences.  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> The only meat I think that is acceptable with "Jelly" is a rack of lamb.


Where's the jelly coming from in a rack of lamb? I think the correct word for that clear jelly substance found in tinned dog-foods like Spam is actually _aspic_ but on lamb?

----------


## katie23

> Oh dear! 
> Katie, Katie, Katie. 
> No, just no.


There are so many SPAM haters here that I feel compelled to defend it.  :Smile: 

I'm Asian, so I eat (fried) rice. Moreso, I'm a Filipina, so I eat SPAM.  :Very Happy: 

I remember when I was a kid & imported goods were so expensive, having SPAM was a treat. My preciousssss...

Edit: 

@mendip - thanks for the earrings. Ypu can FedEx them to me. I'll wear them when I eat SPAM.  :Very Happy: 

 :spam2:

----------


## aging one

> Where's the jelly coming from in a rack of lamb?


Mint jelly as a side.. :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> I think there can be a tendency to develop a theory and then make any findings fit


Been keeping Uni Profs in grants for decades  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> There are so many SPAM haters here that I feel compelled to defend it.


I used to like it, was a staple on school diners as a youngster.

----------


## Headworx

^^^Ahhhh ok, that makes sense.

----------


## Stumpy

> Where's the jelly coming from in a rack of lamb? I think the correct word for that clear jelly substance found in tinned dog-foods like Spam is actually _aspic_ but on lamb?


Mint Jelly is served with a rack of lamb....That clear 'Whatever it is" Jelly/Gelatin is probably all the preservatives coagulating waiting to be heated up and then ingested to later plug arteries.

----------


## Stumpy

> There are so many SPAM haters


I do not really hate SPAM Katie...Its just not for human consumption so I question who would eat it. HAHAHAHAHA.

----------


## lom

> I do not really hate SPAM Katie...Its just not for human consumption so I question who would eat it. HAHAHAHAHA.


I'm sure you have eaten the same stuff in other forms, it is processed ham and pork which you'll also find in sausages.HAHAHAHAHAHA

"The primary ingredient in Spam is chopped pork shoulder meat mixed with       ham. About 90% of Spam is pork from a pig's shoulders. The       remaining 10% (or so) comes from the pig's buttock and thigh,       better known as ham."

----------


## Shutree

> The remaining 10% (or so)


About that 'or so'. Maybe Katie has a tin close at hand. I'm curious about the full ingredient list.

----------


## Shutree

> thanks for the earrings.


If I saw a lady wearing Spam earrings, I'd expect someone to ask if she fancied being in a sandwich.  :Smile: 

(Follow me for more great pick-up lines.)

----------


## lom

> I'm curious about the full ingredient list.


Google knows everything..

"In fact, SPAM only contains six ingredients! And the brand's website lists them all. 
They are: *pork with ham meat added* (that counts as one), salt, water, potato starch, sugar, and sodium nitrite.
 Most of those are as simple as simple gets!"

----------


## bsnub

> That clear 'Whatever it is" Jelly/Gelatin is probably all the preservatives coagulating waiting to be heated up and then ingested to later plug arteries.


You would be wrong. I am surprised you are so unaware on this topic. Gelatin is just animal collagen and is used in tons of foods, many I bet that you eat and have no clue that they contain it. Spam only has 6 ingredients, and the only preservative it contains is sodium nitrate. 

That said, I am not really participating in this whole "Spam" conversation anymore, since I have eaten it like once in the last thirty years or so.  :Smile: 

*Edit* Lom beat me to it. Point being, there are far worse processed foods out there.

----------


## armstrong

Mmm animal collagen

----------


## Stumpy

> I'm sure you have eaten the same stuff in other forms, it is processed ham and pork which you'll also find in sausages


Never seen sausages with gelatin/jelly when opened up or unpackaged.  I rest my case.

SPAM. Let's do this. Take the label off the tin.  Replace it with Alpo or Purina.  Open it up, put in a dog bowl.  Same Same... :Smile: 

But again.  If that is food one enjoys, knock yourself out.  I have read that SPAM essentially doesn't have a shelf life. Can last for years like a Hostess Twinkie.

----------


## bsnub

> Never seen sausages with gelatin/jelly when opened up or unpackaged.


That is because sausages are put into a casing, which is usually an intestine.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> I am surprised you are so unaware on this topic.


Actually Snubs. I am just tossing fun at folks.  I read about  SPAM years ago. There are many articles about it and how it is unhealthy for you which is why I wouldn't let my daughters eat it no matter how many Filipinos might LOVE it.  It's why I do not eat hotdogs and here Pork or fishballs etc.  But those are my choices.

----------


## armstrong

> That is because sausages are put into a casing, which is usually an intestine.


Stop im bloody starrrrrrving.

----------


## David48atTD

> Stop im bloody starrrrrrving.


Bro, relax, crack a beer ... if you have a Thai Partner, food will arrive soon  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> It's why I do not eat ... Pork or fishballs etc.


Those things noodle shop owners buy by the sackful on the basis of cheapest is best? I don't eat those, whatever they claim to be, at best they are the scrapings off the floor. I always order noodles 'Mai sai loog chin'.

----------


## cyrille

> Stop im bloody starrrrrrving.





> Bro, relax, crack a beer ... if you have a Thai Partner, food will arrive soon


Hmmm...

----------


## Shutree

> Bro, relax, crack a beer ... if you have Food Panda, food will arrive soon


FTFY  ::chitown::

----------


## ootai

> About that 'or so'. Maybe Katie has a tin close at hand. I'm curious about the full ingredient list.



I was also wondering what JPPR2 was so worried about but it seems to me that there is only one ingredient that can be a health issue and that is the sodium nitrite.
Though having said that eating too much of anything is a health issue.


What is spam actually made of?



In fact, SPAM only contains six ingredients! And the brand's website lists them all. They are: *pork with ham meat added* (that counts as one), salt, water, potato starch, sugar, and sodium nitrite. Most of those are as simple as simple gets!May 10, 2562

----------


## bsnub

> Stop im bloody starrrrrrving.

----------


## katie23

> If I saw a lady wearing Spam earrings, I'd expect someone to ask if she fancied being in a sandwich. 
> 
> (Follow me for more great pick-up lines.)


Not interested in a sandwich, since I have my own sausage. Harhar!  :Very Happy: 

I haven't eaten Spam in more than 2 years. I didn't buy it during covid times, and didn't buy it for a long time prior to covid. I don't eat much pork or canned food nowadays.

That said, if Spam was offered now, I'd eat a slice of it, with rice and egg (a Spamsilog). Cheers!  :Very Happy:

----------


## helge

Totally off topic:
Not to do with spam !

Mendip

As you'll know, the mountain monkeys just voted, and the opposition won..big !

They say that they'll take Norway in a greener direction and have "plans" to scale down development of new oilfields.

(can't see that happen in the near future and know all arguments for letting it continue as usual)
So..no more 



> boring work


 :Smile: 

Get it ?

(yeah yeah, I know)

----------


## malmomike77

> A few years ago, Pres Du30 said he was cutting ties with the USA and drawing closer to China. Because of that, this meme became popular. 
> 
> Attachment 75638


Katie - are the percentages in the chinkie version the same, 90% shoulder, 10% other parts. Or does the ingredients description allow them quite a bit of latitude to include a range of delicious non-piggie additions.

----------


## OhOh

> I'd eat a slice of it, with rice and *egg*


Is it easy to buy Manchurian Black Racer eggs locally_?_

----------


## OhOh

> *90% shoulder, 10% other parts.* Or does the ingredients description *allow them quite a bit of latitude to include a range of delicious non-piggie additions.*


As neither states cuts of meat, the ability to use both are available.

As for "*latitude to include a range of delicious non-piggie additions" * 

On both, I suggest you check your own country's ability to deliver on food quality promises. Caveat emptor.

Prior to throwing stones at others.

*Spam Original Ingredients:*

 Pork with Ham, Salt, Water, Modified Potato Starch, Sugar, Sodium Nitrite*

SPAM(R) Classic | SPAM(R) Varieties*

Note, no stated meat %.*

Ma Ling Ingredients:*

Pork Meat 72%, Water, Ham Meat 10%, Salt, Mustard Flavour, Oitati  Starch, Sugar, Stabilisers E451, E450, Thickener E407a, Spices,  Antioxidant: E316, Preservative E250

MaLing Luncheon Meat 340g | Canned Pork and Ham | Asia Market

Note, meat  % sated, 72% + 10%.

----------


## Topper

> I love a spam sandwich. The span fried on both sides until brown, with slices Tomatoes and mustard, between two pieces of toasted bread.
> Mmm Mmmm Good!!


I throw in an onion on top of the spam while its frying, other than that, same sandwich....but I've not eaten spam in probably a year.

----------


## malmomike77

> On both, I suggest you check your own country's ability to deliver on food quality promises. Caveat emptor. Prior to throwing stones at others.


 :Smile:  who is throwing stones, China has a long history in quality.

Anyway Mendip in the interest of fostering foreign relations, you have been strangely quiet over your prognosis for offloading bilge water, to give it a nautical slant.

----------


## Saint Willy

> On both, I suggest you check your own country's ability to deliver on food quality promises. Caveat emptor.



 :rofl:   you are funny ohno. China is the world leader in deceptive food production, it’s practically an Olympic sport. Fake eggs, fake baby milk formula, dyed pig meat, the list goes on!

----------


## OhOh

> China has a long history in quality.


China delivers to order. The specification is decided by the purchaser.

----------


## Stumpy

Hiya Mendy,
How is the weight loss program progressing?

I weighed in when I did my last covid test.  I lost ~ 2.2kgs. I think I will stick with my early morning workout program except I will use the home gym.  The cardio will come from the yard work I do almost daily and I will fill days not so busy with my Mtn bike rides.

----------


## Mendip

> As you'll know, the mountain monkeys just voted, and the opposition won..big !
> 
> They say that they'll take Norway in a greener direction and have "plans" to scale down development of new oilfields.
> 
> (can't see that happen in the near future and know all arguments for letting it continue as usual)
> So..no more


Good question Helge!

As you know, oil and gas has transformed Norway from one of the poorest countries in Europe in the 60s to probably the wealthiest country on the planet (per capita) today through extremely good management of huge reserves.

Norway's wealth mainly comes fro gas (not oil) which they transport via long, large diameter subsea pipelines to France, Belgium, Germany and the UK. The Langeled pipeline to Easington alone supplies 20% of the UK's gas requirements. 

Norway are very keen to boast about their green credentials and have the highest per capita ownership of electric cars in Europe and the majority of their electricity is produced by hydroelectric... not only do they have huge hydrocarbon reserves but they also have mountainous coastal topography that is perfect for hydro electricity production.

But... there is a lot of hypocrisy involved.  A few years ago Statoil ('State Oil') changed their name to the greener sounding 'Equinor', while at the same time developing the Johan Sverdrup oil and gas field, west of Stavanger. This is the third largest oil field on the Norwegian Continental Shelf, currently producing around 535,000 barrels of oil a day and with a design life of 50 years. 

Yeah, so maybe Norway itself is 'green' but every time someone in western Europe cooks their tea it's very likely that they'll be burning Norwegian gas. Next time Joe 90 ruins another meal, there's a one in five chance he's ruining it using Norwegian gas. Norway is just exporting it's carbon emissions around Europe and doing very nicely out of it.

Norway has run out of locations for hydro-electric dams and their demand for electricity is great... so now they're looking at the possibility of importing electricity from Germany. Guess what, 24% of Germany's electricity is produced by burning coal! That doesn't bother your 'mountain monkeys' Helge, because they can still pretend to be a 'green' country.

I can't see the Norwegians turning away from fossil fuel production any time soon... all of these seabed mapping projects we're currently undertaking are for future field developments and the gradual expansion of exploration northwards continues. On top of that, there's many thousands of kilometres of pipelines and cables that need inspecting on rolling four-year programmes so I should hopefully get the ten more years out of this industry I need.


But anyway, as Ootai noted I can have a tendency to moan, but I feel I only moan when justified. I get a lot of spare time to fill on this boat after shift and try to catch up on admin and stuff. I recently had an email from SAS saying that 15,000 points would expire at the end of the year, so as with previous years I looked on the SAS shop for a 'free' Christmas present for my mum. 

Sorry Katie... but FFS, it never ends. On top of everything else, now my mum won't be getting a Christmas present.

----------


## Klondyke

> Norway has run out of locations for hydro-electric dams and their demand for electricity is great..


So, what I see in wiki is not longer true?




> Average annual hydropower generation capacity in 2019 was around 131 TWh, about 95% of total electricity production.[4]


Electricity sector in Norway - Wikipedia

And in my old memory I have had a knowledge that Norway has plenty geothermal power plants, however, the wiki does not say.

----------


## Shutree

> On top of everything else, now my mum won't be getting a Christmas present.


That's a shame. She probably goes to sleep dreaming of a new circular saw.

----------


## Edmond

> On top of everything else, now my mum won't be getting a Christmas present.


My mum doesn't live in the UK and wouldn't mind a Multi-Sander FMS200....

----------


## cyrille

> So, what I see in wiki is not longer true?
> 
> 
> Electricity sector in Norway - Wikipedia
> 
> And in my old memory I have had a knowledge that Norway has plenty geothermal power plants, however, the wiki does not say.


Neither of those quotes suggest Mendip’s statement is false. Your English just isn’t good enough to understand.

----------


## aging one

> So, what I see in wiki is not longer true?





> however, the wiki does not say.


Then why dont you go in and change it? Wikipedia is open source anyone can access the information and change it to how they like.  This is why it is not a viable academic source.

----------


## Mendip

> That's a shame. She probably goes to sleep dreaming of a new circular saw.





> My mum doesn't live in the UK and wouldn't mind a Multi-Sander FMS200....


Actually I was planning on getting her those fancy secateurs and scissors... that would have left 8000 points to get a nice thermos flask for meself.

I was doubly pissed off.

----------


## Klondyke

> Neither of those quotes suggest Mendip’s statement is false. Your English just isn’t good enough to understand.





> Then why dont you go in and change it? Wikipedia is open source anyone can access the information and change it to how they like.  This is why it is not a viable academic source.


I am really flattered by your attention.  Why not to let Mendip to see my remark without your kind advice.  He surely will be too flattered by your care.

Anyway, I am happy to enable you to spit on me - as usually - hope that it made your day, whatever with your perfect English comprehension you concluded from my remark...

----------


## aging one

Sorry Mendy mate,  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Norway has plenty geothermal power plants,


Iceland has a lot

Btw: I think that Norway gets a lot of the surplus watts from the danish wind turbines.

For free

Because  danes are lovely people.

Just ask Lom  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Sorry Klondyke, I only know what I was told after chatting to a Norwegian... anything else I would have to look up using Google, same as anyone else. I'm certainly no expert on this.


Yesterday we finished our work oop north at Åsgard and are now transiting down to the Gullfaks field, one of my favourites. It's a 30 hour transit and we're due on location at midnight... which is a bit of a pisser because that's also when my shift starts so I'll have a busy start setting up some equipment.



Calm seas... perfect conditions for a transit.



I couldn't help noticing that we seemed to be heading directly towards a fishing boat...



Fingers crossed the skipper is alert up on the bridge!



This is a small taster for our voyage from Haugesund to Istanbul which should start around the end of next week. 



And this is where I sit to type this nonsense... in one of the day rooms. Being the only person on the vessel foolish enough to work a midnight to midday shift, I sit alone.



The transit to Istanbul should take round two weeks, but first we have to finish up our work at the Gullfaks, Visund and Grane fields and then make a port call in Haugesund to demobilise this project and mobilise for the Black Sea. We should be alongside in Haugesund for two or three days.

And... the big news is... I will have something else to do in Haugesund... after several days of emails back and forth and a couple of painful phone calls on bad lines to Norwegian health officials, I received this email today...



_Mr. Mendip.
_
_We will be able to offer you an appointment for vaccine on Thursday the 23rd og September_
_You will receive a message from our coordinator telling you the exact appointment-time._

_Med hilsen_

_Chief Vaccinator Person_



This is excellent news... it will be a Moderna by all accounts and means I should be able to get my second jab in the UK in November/December and therefore return to Thailand fully vaccinated. Who knows, maybe I won't even have to quarantine...

----------


## cyrille

Yeah, that looks like some sweet timing.

Great pics!

----------


## bsnub

Is that a wood deck Mendy?

----------


## Mendip

Everything structural is metal including the back deck but they line the metal deck with wooden planks. I guess the wood is better for grip for people and any loads and will deaden the sound of any works going on... like a wooden work bench at home compared to a metal bench.

You can see the green metal decking showing through... this is so that any loads, containers, etc can be welded down for sea fastening.

----------


## malmomike77

> This is excellent news... it will be a Moderna by all accounts and means I should be able to get my second jab in the UK in November/December and therefore return to Thailand fully vaccinated. Who knows, maybe I won't even have to quarantine...


Great news. Are you still planning on a visit to Mum? The UK is looking likely to reduce the current restrictions for those double jabbed. They are also suggesting they are going to press ahead with boosters also.

----------


## cyrille

...and in other news, nicki minaj does not have a relative in Trinidad with swollen testicles caused by COVID vaccines.

----------


## Mendip

^^ My current plan is to visit my mum in Somerset after the Black Sea work... when I hope to get my second vaccine. I won't be fully vaccinated on arrival to the UK but there are dispensations for seafarers. I would have been denied entry to Norway if I wasn't joining a vessel. 

Everything is subject to change of course but I need to spend some time with my mum having missed a visit last year due to Covid and she's spent an awful lot of time in isolation... a real shame I can't take my daughter back as well. I'll need a bit of time in the UK to arrange the CoE and maybe ASQ... or whatever the rules will be at the end of the year...

Edit: Mike, my mum has her booster jab (third Pfizer) already booked in for next Monday.

----------


## Topper

> but they line the metal deck with wooden planks


It might be because it's easier to repair the deck if something "scratches" it as well and tons easier to patch than the non-skid used on aircraft carriers.

----------


## helge

> it will be a Moderna by all accounts and means I should be able to get my second jab in the UK in November/December and therefore return to Thailand fully vaccinated. Who knows, maybe I won't even have to quarantine...


Get a Sinovac as a booster, when you get home to Korat.

Just to be on the safe side

----------


## Mendip

^ I've got a bottle of Ivermectin in the fridge at home that I inject  the dogs with to protect against ticks, fleas and heartworm... I reckon  I'd be better trying that.

^^ I think you're right Topper...protection for the metal deck.


We started the work scope at Gullfaks in the early hours.

Gullfaks A... 35 years old and still with another 20 years of production to go.



The whole family... Gullfaks A on the right, Gullfaks B on the left and away in the distance, Gullfaks C in the middle.



And if you're wondering what's down on the seabed in these areas...





I though my quest for a Covid vaccination in Norway was over... but I received this email today...



_ Hi,
_
_ We can not promise you comirnaty vaccine (BioNTech/Pfizer), but a Western approved one, maybe spikevax (Moderna)._

_ The Spikevax is said to give a better protction against the Delta variants of the SARS-Cov-19 virus._
_ We have reserved an appointment for you September the 24th, at 9.20 AM._
_ Just tell the Red Cross personel at your arrival that you have an appointment._

_ Best regards_
_ The Vaccine Centre in Haugesund



_This  is all great and I'm very thankful to the Norwegians, but I was hoping  for an appointment on Thursday 23rd as we may well be sailing around  midnight next Thursday, making a Friday appointment of little use. I've  been back in touch and there are no available slots for the Thursday,  but they said to just drop by as there are usually people who don't turn  up. This is what I'll do... despite being a bit odd these Scandinavians  are nice people and I'm sure if I make the effort to turn up, they will  vaccinate me.

----------


## baldrick

> I guess the wood is better


as these work vessels crane a lot of steel around in a not so stable environment , the wood lessens impacts to damage equipment and minimises any chance of a spark causing ignition 

and in my opinion the moderna is the best vax

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Just stop procrastinating about which vaccine you get and get whatever you can.
If what I have read on the net each vaccine provides protection from the more severe effects of covid and in my opinion that is the best you can hope for.
I believe that everyone will eventually be infected by this virus so all we can do is mitigate the risk of dying from its effects.

Me personally I have had what the Thai government provided and that is Sinavac followed by Astra Zenica, would I have preferred Pfizer  or Moderna yes of course but after having a minor side effect from the Astra Zenica (2nd dose) I would hate to have the full on virus. I had a fever and felt like I had been run over by a truck but it only lasted a day thankfully.

At this stage  and because there is still no confirmation that the Aussie Govt will recognise the Sinavac vaccine I will try and get another jab in a few months so then they would consider me fully vaccinated and that might assist in gaining entry back into the country one day.

Good luck and I hope you can get a vaccine you are happy with.


That area you are in looks bloody busy with a lot of activity in the area. Who lays claim to all the oil wells there?
I take it all those little rectangular gold bars in the picture are producing wells, is that correct?

----------


## PAG

> That area you are in looks bloody busy with a lot of activity in the area. Who lays claim to all the oil wells there?
> I take it all those little rectangular gold bars in the picture are producing wells, is that correct?


These are satellite subsea developments, remotely controlled and operated via flowlines by the platforms/installations they are tied back to.

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> Just stop procrastinating about which vaccine you get and get whatever you can.


Umm... Ootai, I'm not procrastinating about which vaccine I get... I'm stuck on a boat and my problem is actually getting an appointment in a country I'm not resident in. I'll take whatever they offer... but thankfully Sinovac won't be one of those options in Norway.

----------


## ootai

> Umm... Ootai, I'm not procrastinating about which vaccine I get... I'm stuck on a boat and my problem is actually getting an appointment in a country I'm not resident in. I'll take whatever they offer... but thankfully Sinovac won't be one of those options in Norway.



OK I might concede a little on what I said but I just don't understand why people are so against getting Sinovac as a vaccine.
As you have said previously you had the opportunity to get that in Korat. So instead you wait until you are on a boat trying to organise a vaccine in a country that doesn't want you now because of your mate Boris.
That in my mind is either procrastinating or just stubborn so maybe I just used the wrong word.


What exactly is procrastination?

Procrastination is *the act of delaying or putting off tasks until the last minute, or past their deadline*. Some researchers define procrastination as a "form of self-regulation failure characterized by the irrational delay of tasks despite potentially negative consequences."

----------


## ootai

> These are satellite subsea developments, remotely controlled and operated via flowlines by the platforms/installations they are tied back to.


Pag
What is meant by "subsea developments" are they producing wells/holes that are capped with an arrangement that allows them to be remotely controlled?
Is the location of the Cap/control station dictated by where the holes were originally drilled from?
As I understand it when they drill they drill from a central location and can then directionally drill to where they suspect there to be hydrocarbons i.e. oil/gas.

----------


## Mendip

^ Ootai, each wellhead is connected to flowlines that transport oil/gas back to the platform they have been tied in to, and from there the products will either be sent to shore via export pipelines or stored and then transferred to a tanker. Each wellhead is connected to the main platform by electrical/hydraulic umbilicals so that flow and a host of other parameters can be controlled. These wellheads may be many kilometres from the platforms.

Some wellheads will be for water or gas injection... water may be injected into a well to maintain pressure... as may be gas. The gas may be extracted from one well, and injected into an oil well to maintain pressure and extract the oil, after which the gas will then also be extracted.

As for Sinovac... I guess it all depends on your personal circumstances. I regularly travel to Europe for work and I didn't fancy having four vaccinations, which would have been necessary if I had taken two shots of Sinovac in Korat, as Sinovac isn't approved in the West. Had I had the Sinovac a couple of months ago I'd still be in exactly the same situation... chasing proper vaccines while here in Norway.

 If I stayed permanently in Isaan I would have most probably taken the Sinovac. And as for not wanting me... Norway are a lot more welcoming than Thailand has ever been.

----------


## PAG

> Pag
> What is meant by "subsea developments" are they producing wells/holes that are capped with an arrangement that allows them to be remotely controlled?
> Is the location of the Cap/control station dictated by where the holes were originally drilled from?
> As I understand it when they drill they drill from a central location and can then directionally drill to where they suspect there to be hydrocarbons i.e. oil/gas.


You've got it, however not only producing wells, but also injection wells (water/gas).   A drilling rig/ship will have drilled the planned wells from a single location, with the subsequent control hardware being installed.   This is why there is a perennial need for ROV operations for routine maintenance/repair of subsea infrastructure.

----------


## ootai

> ^ Ootai, each wellhead is connected to flowlines that transport oil/gas back to the platform they have been tied in to, and from there the products will either be sent to shore via export pipelines or stored and then transferred to a tanker. Each wellhead is connected to the main platform by electrical/hydraulic umbilicals so that flow and a host of other parameters can be controlled. These wellheads may be many kilometres from the platforms.
> 
> Some wellheads will be for water or gas injection... water may be injected into a well to maintain pressure... as may be gas. The gas may be extracted from one well, and injected into an oil well to maintain pressure and extract the oil, after which the gas will then also be extracted.
> 
> As for Sinovac... I guess it all depends on your personal circumstances. I regularly travel to Europe for work and I didn't fancy having four vaccinations, which would have been necessary if I had taken two shots of Sinovac in Korat, as Sinovac isn't approved in the West. Had I had the Sinovac a couple of months ago I'd still be in exactly the same situation... chasing proper vaccines while here in Norway.
> 
>  If I stayed permanently in Isaan I would have most probably taken the Sinovac. And as for not wanting me... Norway are a lot more welcoming than Thailand has ever been.


Mendip
Thanks for the information I remember a long time ago doing a little bit of study on oil and gas mining/drilling but I wasn't sure of how it really works.

As for you getting Sinovac in Korat before you left i.e. "Had I had the Sinovac a couple of months ago I'd still be in exactly the same situation.."
That is not true IMHO as you would have had some protection rather none as is the case at the moment.

As for getting more than 2 shots of anything that doesn't really worry me at all but then I am closer to the end than you, based on age that is, but maybe not from a Covid risk point of view.

----------


## Mendip

As you first mentioned, directional drilling plays a huge part now... but many satellite developments are many km away from a field centre... advances in the seismic industry allow continued new discoveries, many of which are in the vicinity of existing oil fields.

New wells are drilled and capped with a wellhead. Several wellheads may be connected to a single subsea manifold/template via 'jumpers' which are often flexible production lines. The product passes through the manifolds which help control flow and connect to larger diameter flowlines (gas, condensate or oil) which then tie back to existing filed infrastructure maybe 20 or 30km away for initial processing and transport to shore. These days all control panels on wellheads and manifolds are designed to be ROV-friendly... valves may need closing/opening during shutdowns for example, and valves may need replacing. A lot of operations can be controlled via umbilicals from a platform, but not all. ROVs have largely taken over from divers for maintenance of new developments now... mainly due to deep water (outwith diving capabilities), HSE and cost. Divers are very expensive.

----------


## Mendip

We now have 3.5 metre seas which is getting towards our working limit... but the weather isn't due to come up any more so we can leave the ROV down and hopefully work through it. This does slow our progress down though, as all of this work is close to platforms and now we're not allowed to position the vessel upwind of any structure... that's known as a 'blow-on situation', meaning that if the vessel lost power we could drift on to a platform.

The weather's forecast to remain on the limit for the next few days and there's already talk about next Wednesday's port call being delayed by a day, which would suit me fine for my Friday Covid jab.  If we get delayed by a couple of days though I'll be buggered.

----------


## Edmond

Getting queasy just looking at that.  :Smile: 





> We now have 3.5 metre seas which is getting towards our working limit


*raises hand*

A newber Q, if I may. 

How do they measure the precise swell? (I presume the 3.5 meter waves are called a swell)

Are there markings on the side of the ships and rig's legs that can be observed and noted?

What is the ship's working limit, 4m?

Does each ship have a different one depending on size etc, or is it an industry standard?

----------


## hallelujah

> Getting queasy just looking at that.


Imagine being stuck out there in January. I suppose it could go both ways though: you learn to live with it or it scares the shit out of you and you fuck it off the first chance you get.

----------


## Edmond

> scares the shit out of you and you fuck it off the first chance you get.


AKA doing an Eddo.

----------


## Saint Willy

It does look grim!

----------


## Topper

Mendip,

I got Moderna the day before yesterday...I was really tired yesterday and my arm felt like I'd been stabbed in it. Today, I feel fine but the arm is still a bit sore.  Since you're onboard, I'd recommend getting the jab in the offhand arm, that way your wanking isn't affected.

----------


## Saint Willy

But isn’t that the point? Let your right arm get numb and it will feel like someone else is doing it!

----------


## Mendip

^^ This thread has headed in an unexpected direction, but many thanks  for your concern Topper and I will indeed request the shot in my left  arm... unless of course I decide to spice things up a bit and go for my  right arm, as KW is right on the money there.

The problem will be  getting my request across to the vaccinator... I believe that the verb  'to wank' in Norwegian is 'runke'... but I may have to rely on hand  gestures. I just hope it's a male vaccinator or I may end up getting  arrested.

In fact I think there is a common misconception that offshore workers just retreat to their cabins and furiously masturbate away while off shift. There are many other things to do while out at sea... I would have thought.





> *raises hand*
> 
> A newber Q, if I may. 
> 
> How do they measure the precise swell? (I presume the 3.5 meter waves are called a swell)
> 
> Are there markings on the side of the ships and rig's legs that can be observed and noted?
> 
> What is the ship's working limit, 4m?
> ...



Many questions here... our working limit is around 4 metre wave height and that's defined by a safe working limit to launch and/or recover the ROV. It's not an exact science because it also depends on swell, wave period, etc. A long wavelength is easier to cope with than a short wave length, etc etc. In reality other factors such as an upcoming crew change will also come in to play... limits seem to get pushed if guys are eager not to delay getting off the boat and getting home.

The safe working limit is therefore not an industry standard, it depends on the vessel, equipment and operations. The vessel I worked on last year had a similar ROV but without a good launch/recovery system and their maximum working limit was around 2.5 metres.

Also, as has happened here just now, if the weather comes up while we're working, but is forecast to come down again, we may just keep the ROV in water and work through the bad weather... it's the launch and recovery that are critical.

I can see two main problems with painting a scale to measure waves on the side of a ship... firstly, the ship moves with the swell, and secondly, you wouldn't be able to see it from on board. 

There are many clever ways of measuring wave height and an experienced skipper will estimate it spot on by just looking at the sea... but me... I just look at the weather forecast.



The pale blue line is our main reference... Significant Wave Height. The top of the pale blue shading is Maximum Wave Height. Also of course the black line showing wind direction and strength is pretty crucial.

Waves and swell are two different things and can come from two different directions... waves are caused by the wind whereas swell is the general movement of the surface and is generally caused by old waves from a different location. For example, you rarely get waves when working in West Africa but there's often a rolling swell of 2 or 3 metres coming in from the South Atlantic.

To be honest the weather at the moment is no problem, it just gets annoying after a while and I've missed the gym for two consecutive nights now. The motion can get bad when we transit in bad weather as the skipper doesn't have the option of heading the vessel into the wind.

----------


## panama hat

> I believe that the verb 'to wank' in Norwegian is 'runke'... but I may have to rely on hand gestures. I just hope it's a male vaccinator


Are you missing your gardener?  :Smile: 






> There are many clever ways of measuring wave height and an experienced skipper will estimate it spot on by just looking at the sea...


Looking at your pics, luckily the waves aren't that high.  One of the few things that I appreciate being under, rather than on the water

----------


## Mendip

^ Don't worry, I'm still in touch with the gardener... the daughter send me pics of the garden, I send a Line message to the gardener asking why the grass is so long, the pool is so green, etc etc... and he ignores it. But he does look after my dogs.

I'm lucky and have never suffered from seasickness, apart from the old says when joining a vessel half cut after the day in a bar. I know one guy who has suffered from seasickness his entire career and I don't know how he does it, it must be awful. And as for going in the water... snorkeling is as deep as I want to go. Diving has never offered the slightest temptation to me.


Yesterday the weather continued to come up and it has been consistently worse than the forecast. This has slowed us down a lot trying to complete the work close to Gullfaks C because the vessel can't be located directly upwind of the platform. This has meant deploying the ROV with a longer than optimal umbilical which has just made things a lot slower.





At the end of my shift the weather was still coming up...




Tonight when I got up we were still at the same location...



All three of the ROV guys were at the midnight meal, which only meant one thing... WOW (Waiting On Weather).

A rare sight... this beast is rarely out of the water on this spread...



It's looking like we won't start working until around breakfast time at the earliest. 




This could well mean a small delay to our planned port call on Wednesday which is perfect for me... my Friday vaccine jab is looking more and more likely! I have to hide my glee though as most people are pissed off, having made plans for their arrivals home.

And more good news... I've eventually sourced some strong glue... from the Chief Engineer. Once the glue's gone off my trainers should be fully operational for Monday night in the gym!

----------


## baldrick

> I just look at the weather forecast.


iphones have I think , a built in manometer -I know they give you a height above sea level

there may be an app that will tell you how bouncy bouncy you are

----------


## beerlaodrinker

Really enjoying this oily thread..  it kinda puts it all into perspective. As a Lad  (15 years old)  my first foray  into oil  exploration saw me I  the Gibson. Desert   with a grand Title as  JUGGY.  I dug it though.but in hindsight  probably should  of stayed in school and  been a geologist

----------


## Saint Willy

I have no problem being on a boat, but those platforms scare me!

----------


## Mendip

^ I once had a basket transfer from the helideck of the Oseberg A platform (similar height to Gullfaks C) to the back deck of a survey vessel... THAT was scary. Thankfully those practices are long gone.


Yesterday we finished our work at Gullfaks and had a 12 hour transit down to Grane... for the last work scope of this campaign.



At first we had to wait a bit for a supply vessel to move away.



And then it was all systems go!



If all goes well this will be the last dive of the trip. We have 17 hours work here, then a 6 hour transit in to Haugesund and should be alongside by midday tomorrow... all subject to change of course.



The Grane field is interesting (well... to a geo anyway). Equinor have installed a PRM (Permanent Reservoir Monitoring) array of cables on the seabed above the hydrocarbon reservoir 1700 metres below. There are around 16 cables (I think) spaced around 300 metres apart, each of which is around 12km in length to cover a 12km x 4.5km area. These cables are seismic streamers and have been trenched and/or rock dumped at huge expense to protect against trawling damage. The streamers acquire data from a seismic vessel sound source, from which incredibly detailed models of the reservoir can be produced to maximise yield... and increase total yield (I think) by around 10%. Despite the huge cost of installing these permanent cable arrays, increased yield will be worth billions of NOK... a good investment. The Norwegians have never been afraid of using new technology.

Maybe a bit boring... but for anyone interested...

Seismic cables on the seabed to increase oil recovery - equinor.com

----------


## Saint Willy

That is interesting. 




> Today, Statoil recovers 50 per cent of the oil from our operated fields on the Norwegian shelf. The world average is 35 per cent. Every extra per cent we recover from our fields constitute a value of NOK 200 billion with today's oil prices.




impressive.

----------


## Edmond

This looks surprisingly dangerous.  :Smile: 


In the case of a major disaster, is there a level of command seniority in those life boats? For example, if a life boat fits 12 people, and 7 people are in one, will one of those 7 be in command based on their seniority, or can they all just say Fuck this for a game of soldiers and hit the launch button? 

Is there a sort of code of No one gets left behind, or is it generally accepted that if no one else is visible and the thing's doing a Deepwater Horizon then you launch the fokin' thing?

----------


## armstrong

There's a new drama out soon called The Rig.  I think it's about ghosts though.

----------


## baldrick

> I have no problem being on a boat, but those platforms scare me!





> I once had a basket transfer from the helideck of the Oseberg A platform (similar height to Gullfaks C) to the back deck of a survey vessel..


I am sure we have had discussions before about the death embrace of billy pugh as you lunge and bounce on the rear deck of the bucking work boat

the video shows flat and stable transfer which is a lot different to reality

----------


## Mendip

^ In reality the baskets are also a lot older and not so well designed as the one in the video. When working away from the North Sea ship to ship basket transfers are still fairly common and I have no problem with those. It was descending from a platform helideck maybe 70 metres above sea level that I had a big problem with. I'm not great with heights and clutched that rope netting like a vice.

^^^ Ed, I've never worked on platforms but in the case of lifeboat drills on a boat, a muster is first taken and once everyone has been accounted for, we board a lifeboat. All the time there will be a couple on the bridge to maintain ship's heading, but in a real emergency I guess they would also board a lifeboat if there was no hope. Many boats, such as the one I'm currently working on, have no lifeboat but a few life rafts instead.

On a platform I imagine everyone is assigned to a certain lifeboat and would muster at a nearby station in the case of an emergency... and lifeboats would depart as and when everyone for that particular boat was present. I guess in reality it all depends how catastrophic an emergency is.

The freefall lifeboats in the pic of Grane above were, I think, (PAG would know) introduced after the Piper Alpha disaster. Traditional lifeboats are winched vertically down from a platform/vessel on wires, and released on hitting the sea. This is a big problem if there is burning oil covering the sea in the vicinity of a platform, and so the freefall lifeboats are now used... they hit the sea at an angle which automatically takes them away from the danger. An obvious development really... with the benefit of hindsight.

----------


## Headworx

> they hit the sea at an angle which automatically takes them away from the danger


Sometimes after doing aerobatics  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

^ Chinese Acrobats ... 



BTW, my kids would love to ride that.

----------


## Edmond

> Sometimes after doing aerobatics





> Chinese Acrobats ...


What the Beijing Duck. 




I probably wouldn't be _wishing_ for a fire and mass casualty explosion, but that does look like fun.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> ... but that does look like fun.


Not if you forget to put on your harness, it doesn't!



The completion of the Grane work in the early hours ended a six month contract with this client, so in we headed to Haugesund for demob.

A beautiful morning for a cruise...



We were headed pretty well due east...



... into the rising sun. 

Land ahoy!



Haugesund... a wealthy town that made it's money from herring. The nearby Stavanger is more of an oil centre.



The shipyard in the distance is often busy building topsides and refurbishing drilling rigs. It used to rely heavily on Geordie welders but I don't know who they use now... probably Poles.



We berthed on the small island of Killingøy where these contractors have a base. It's also this vessel's home port. The island is joined to the mainland by a causeway.

The view from the offside of the boat looked nice and peaceful.



Not a lot going on at the dockside either.



Today almost the entire marine crew changed out, most of the ROV crew left apart from a few to carry out some maintenance, and the entire survey crew left apart from yours truly. Once things had quietened down I had a pokey about on the dockside.







The survey ROV had been temporarily removed to a warehouse where some maintenance was being carried out.





This was why the ROV was removed from the vessel for the maintenance (which would usually have been carried out in the ROV hangar). The umbilical needs changing out for the Black Sea work... the water depth is up to 2.2km and we need a longer and thinner umbilical... the thinner the better to reduce drag in the water column and increase speed and stability at those depths.

The old umbilical first needs to be spooled off before the new one is spooled on. And then connections made to the ROV.



All of which I am hoping will take a very long time. 



Although I fear that this won't take as long as I need and the current estimated departure to the Black Sea is late Thursday/early Friday. My Covid vaccination is booked for 09:20am on Friday morning, which is a bit of a pisser (but I'm most definitely not moaning about it, I think it's great). Tomorrow morning I'll head off to the vaccination centre in Haugesund and see if I can get a 'drop in' jab, after which I will hopefully take a trip down memory lane and have a good wander around town... I spent a large part of the 90s working in this place. Sadly there will be no beer tomorrow (which I am very happy about) but I hope to have a look around some old haunts and do a bit of reminiscing.

But forget about all that... the high point of this trip so far has been a free T-shirt. Dirk mentioned how rare they are in the offshore industry these days but I've been lucky catching the end of a long contract.

In fact I've been doubly lucky... there were a few left over so I've also got one for the missus for her Christmas!

----------


## malmomike77

^ nice ra(n)dome

----------


## Stumpy

Singapore Airline Spoon for a T shirt.  ?

----------


## Topper

Why is your boat so far out of the water?  It looks like only a couple of feet of draft left.

----------


## Saint Willy

Great pics Mendy

----------


## Edmond

> 





> Why is your boat so far out of the water?  It looks like only a couple of feet of draft left.


Because he stepped off and wasn't on it at the time. 









Only joking Mendy.  :Smile: 






> Great pics Mendy


Indeedio.  :Yup:

----------


## Joe 90

> so I've also got one for the missus for her Christmas!


That could be dangerous if that's all she gets! :Smile:

----------


## helge

> It was descending from a platform helideck maybe 70 metres above sea level that I had a big problem with. I'm not great with heights and clutched that rope netting like a vice


You let go of your fishing rod ?

Hmm

----------


## Saint Willy

> Because he stepped off and wasn't on it at the time. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...



 :rofl:

----------


## ootai

> Not if you forget to put on your harness, it doesn't!
> 
> In fact I've been doubly lucky... there were a few left over so I've also got one for the missus for her Christmas!


So you got one big one and one small one by the looks of it. Is the small one for you after you lose all your excess weight and the big one in case you don't but instead add to it?
Which means it is time for an interim report on the progress and you should be able to get on a scale that is not effected by the movement of the ocean which allows you to deceive yourself.

Good luck getting a jab.

----------


## Mendip

> Singapore Airline Spoon for a T shirt.  ?


This might be possible, there's a few left. I can offer you Men's XXL or Ladies' Medium. Just let me know.





> Why is your boat so far out of the water?  It looks like only a couple of feet of draft left.





> Because he stepped off and wasn't on it at the time.


Yeah... same old jokes. I'll be the one laughing when I finally get off this damn boat in a couple of months. I've fixed my trainers and haven't had a single biscuit now in over a month.

The maximum draught of this vessel is reported at 6.7 metres, and while I did indeed step off the gangway and onto the quayside to take my pictures I'd like to think that I'm not soley reprehensible for our current shallow draught.

This boat usually has a port call every two weeks so they tend to let everything run low... the lack of ballast is annoying in bad weather.

During this port call, before we depart for the Black Sea we'll be taking on 600 cubic metres of fuel along with a lot of other stuff, including no doubt a lorry load of salted cod and mutton to keep the Norwegians happy. That should settle us down in the water a bit.





> Which means it is time for an interim report on the progress and you should be able to get on a scale that is not effected by the movement of the ocean which allows you to deceive yourself.


Very good point Ootai. I'm busy today but I'll look into this first thing tomorrow.

----------


## Shutree

> Very good point Ootai. I'm busy today but I'll look into this first thing tomorrow.


  ::chitown:: 

Good photos.

Are you still scheduled for a Covid jab tomorrow?

----------


## Mendip

^ I have a definite appointment for a jab at 09:20am tomorrow... but it's not for sure we'll still be here. Today I plan to go to the vaccination centre around 11am when I've been advised I may be able to get a 'drop in' jab, so long as someone hasn't turned up for theirs.

At the moment it's absolutely pissing it down which has delighted me of course, but hopefully the torrential rain will put some fair-weather Norwegian off keeping their appointment.

----------


## Shutree

> Today I plan to go to the vaccination centre around 11am when I've been advised I may be able to get a 'drop in' jab,


Good luck.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Today I plan to go to the vaccination centre around 11am when I've been advised I may be able to get a 'drop in' jab, so long as someone hasn't turned up for theirs.


Good luck!

----------


## Stumpy

> Ladies' Medium.


A XXL well....I would be swimming in the thing..... :Smile: . My wife will like it

And Good Luck on vaccination

----------


## Joe 90

Fingers crossed you got your jab Mendip.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Talking of pricks, has there been any actual work going on in this thread? I haven't seen a hint of any labour yet. 

And what kind of bloke grafts all day and then spends his evenings documenting it?

It appears to be one long floating wankfest. :Smile:

----------


## helge

Are you out of Haugesund yet ?

There is a low pressure passing north of Denmark and it is at this moment re- arranging my garden furniture.

I really do not like strong winds

Take care of your tea cup.

----------


## malmomike77

> re- arranging my garden furniture.


At least your garden furniture will last through to next summer. In the UK with the Gas shortage and Electricity price increases people will burning theirs to stay warm.  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> At least your garden furniture will last through to next summer.


They are my neighbors garden furniture by now.

 :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> Talking of pricks, has there been any actual work going on in this thread? I haven't seen a hint of any labour yet.


Ah shure, he's now en route to the Black Sea via the Med.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 
_

Oh, I gotta pick up yet another passport in Bangkok.


Oh, I gotta spend the autumn sailing through the Mediterranean._


The foker's playing everyone for mugs.

----------


## Mendip

^ What, so no-one else had to renew passports on a regular basis?





> Are you out of Haugesund yet ?
> 
> There is a low pressure passing north of Denmark and it is at this moment re- arranging my garden furniture.


Not yet Helge, we've had a couple of delays. I can attest that it's blowing a hoolie outside and I'm not looking forward to sailing out into that.





> Talking of pricks, has there been any actual work going on in this thread? I haven't seen a hint of any labour yet.


I try to concentrate on the glamorous side of the job. It would be pretty monotonous if all I talked about was 12 hours of exceedingly hard graft every day (night).


And it don't get more glamorous than this...


*A Day Out in Haugesund*

Yesterday morning I cut short my night shift to continue my quest for a Covid jab. I had (have) an appointment for 09:20 today (Friday) but we were supposed to have sailed last night, so I chanced getting a jab by 'dropping in' a day early.

Haugesund is also where it all started for me 30 years ago. I boarded my first ship in 1991 at Teesside as a newbie for a Haugesund offshore survey company... and if it hadn't been for that fateful day I probably wouldn't be sitting here now. I probably wouldn't be living in Korat for that matter... it's funny how what seems like a small event at the time can end up shaping your entire life. Haugesund has been a very significant place in my life and as well as getting a Covid jab I also wanted to take a trip down memory lane and do some serious reminiscing.

My plans for a gentle stroll around town were immediately dashed because as usual it was fukking pissing it down. Even the step ladder had blown over.



A pic for Malmo Mike...



And onwards to exit the quayside. Another consequence of 9/11 was the introduction of security at all ports/docksides etc, as authorities considered them a terrorist target. Now, any visitor to a vessel needs to be on a 'visitor list' 24 hours in advance and you won't get past security unless you're on that list or part of a ship's crew.



After passing security I looked left and noticed this strange obelisk thing. I immediately remembered what it was, and although in the wrong direction and in driving wind and rain, I went to investigate purely for the benefit of Teakdoor members. I've seen it before 20 odd years ago and once was enough, to be honest.



Yes, it's the 'Riksmomumentet Haraldshaugen'!

And I mean... who the fuk would camp in Norway at this time of year?



Personally I think Stonehenge is better...



From Wikipedia...


_Haraldshaugen is located in the northern suburbs of Haugesund. The monument consists of a large mound surrounded by a granite memorial stones with 29 smaller stones, one from each of the historic counties of Norway. At the top of the mound stands a 17m high granite main obelisk, with four bronze panels around the base. Each panel depicts important scenes from the life of King Harald I.

Haraldshaugen commemorates the Battle of Hafrsfjord  which commonly dates to the year 872. The Battle of Hafrsfjord has traditionally been regarded as the point in which western Norway was for the first time unified under one monarch. Tradition holds that Haraldshaugen is the burial site of King Harald I, who died circa 933 at Avaldsnes on nearby Karmøy, south of Haugesund, but currently there is no clear archeological evidence of this

The monument was opposed by Norway's political left, which questioned the merits of celebrating a figure whom they viewed as a brutal, authoritarian conqueror.
_

It's nice to see that the UK isn't the only country with these woke, loony left.

A few pics from around the monument...

These are two of the small pillars (of the 29) either side of the main entrance to the monument. I guess they are inscribed with two of Norway's counties?





And a couple of the bronze panels on the main obelisk.

Maybe Helge or Lom can help?





I guess you have to hand it to King Harald I, but personally if I'd been around 1000 years ago I'd have jumper in my longboat and rowed the fuk away from Norway to find some place where it doesn't rain all the time and cost 12 quid a pint.

There was a decrepit old cross on a small hillock nearby which I went to investigate, but this was mainly to take a piss in the bushes away from the view of a couple of dog walkers. I have no idea what this cross was about.



And then, already soaked and a kilometre further away from the town centre than where I'd set off from, I headed into Haugesund.

This is your typical Norwegian street. The houses look nice but all that wood must take an awful lot of upkeep.



The original plan was to walk out to the 'Koronavaksinering Centre', but as it's at least 8km out of town and it was pissing it down with rain I decided to get a taxi instead. On the way to the taxi rank I noticed this... and remembered that I need new trainers!



The guy kept pushing these 'Hokas' on me, telling me they were best sellers. I'd nevevr heard of them before but went along...



And discovered why at the till... 1800 NOK, or 150 quid... That's Norway for you I guess and I expect to be running marathons in a couple of months after spending that amount. He tried to get me to throw in another 'best seller', but bollocks to that... 12 quid for a couple of pars of socks? I'll get another couple of years out of the pair I've got, thanks very much.



I continued on to find a taxi...

This is Haraldsgaten, the main shopping street in Haugesund (which I guess is named after the famous King Harald I). Or at least it was a vibrant shopping street in the 90s... it now seems to be taken over by middle Eastern food shops. Norway has been very generous in accepting refugees.

'Mat' means food.



I passed yet another Syrian fruit and veg shop...



... and came to Dikselen... and the memories came flooding back. 



I spent an enoromous amount of time in Haugesund during the 90s and this was the 'go to' bar after a day in the office. Back then we were given a £40 a day per diem, had a special deal in Dikselen, and if you didn't eat much the per diem would cover beer every night. I was spending more time in Norway than at home in the UK, back then.

It dosn't look much on a wet and cold Thursday morning but back in the day there were queues stretching down the street on a weekend night. And even back then, Wednesday and Sunday were the Karaoke nights, although I never partook.



I stood there a while and the memories of leaning on the bar with a bunch of guys every night came flooding back. I had a social life back then. There used to be a nightclub above Dikselen called Karasnopolsk and as we were such good customers in Dikselen we were let in for free. I had some moderate success with the Norwegian girls back then as well... I was younger, slimmer, fitter and didn't moan so much in my 20s. One girl in particular has always stuck in my mind... well, more of a woman than a girl to be honest. I can still remember her face and even her name clearly... and not because she was particularly attractive or anything, because she certainly wasn't, but because as soon as we got back to my hotel room all she wanted to do was take it up the starfish. The Scandinavians are very imancipated and this was quite a shock to my niave, younger self, and it must have made quite an impression on me to remember the incident so clearly 25 years later. I won't say how the night turned out but it's certainly not one of my fondest memories of Haugesund.

Anyway, a statue of a couple of seafarrs looking out to sea. All seafaring communites seem to have variations on the theme of this statue. Haugesund has long been associated with ships and shipping and originally made it's money in herring. It's still a very wealthy town today, even by Norwegian standards.



And a very formal looking red brick church in the town centre. This church is called 'Our Saviour's Chuch' and dates back to 1901. The chuch in my mum's village dates back to the 15th Century.

The taxi rank is just in front of the church so finally I could get meself out of the rain and head out to the Vaccine Centre!

----------


## katie23

Thanks for the pics, mendip.

Are your new trainers waterproof? There are some hiking shoes that are waterproof (like Merrell). I also haven't heard of that Hoka brand.

Cheers & safe trails.

----------


## Headworx

> What, so no-one else had to renew passports on a regular basis?


Seems to only be married men who's passport validity is just 6 months when they live in Thailand, hence the regular trips to Banga's to renew  :Naughty:   :Smile: 

Brilliant thread as always, very entertaining!

----------


## Mendip

My north African taxi driver had his wipers on full speed... it was absolutely bucketing down by this point and no way could I have walked. 



After realising how far out of town the Haugesund Koronavaksinering Centre was I relented to my driver's repeated hints and once we arrived, said he could wait for me in the carpark and keep the meter running. He assurred me that it wouldn't cost much if he was parked up... I didn't believe him for an instant but what choice did I have... this place was in the middle of nowhere.



Everything was very well organised. After being allowed in (by mentioning my email contact's name), if you had an appointment you sat in one area and if you were a 'drop in' you sat in another area. I sat in the drop in area and after about 5 minutes realised that I'd forgotten to pick up a queue ticket... no-one had told me about that. I went back, got meself a queue ticket and sat back down again at the back of the drop in queue... but to be fair it was moving fast.

My number was maybe 20 places away, but it only took around 10 minutes to come up, and I went off to the specified Vaccine Room. The doctor there couldn't find my name anywhere and said I had to go back to reception and fill out a form. I'm not blaming anyone, and this isn't a moan, but I had a bladdy taxi on the meter here...

After filling out the form I had to again get a queue ticket and wait maybe another 15 minutes to get called. I was offered a choice of Moderna or Pfizer but eventually decided on Pfizer. I think it's more readily available in the UK (where I hope to get my second jab) and I'm not sure how comfortable the UK are about mixing vaccines and then declaring you fully vaccinated. The doctor finally made my mind up as she got bored of my deliberations and had a Pfizer shot ready loaded in a syringe. I took it in the left arm as per Topper's advice. I'll see how that works out.

Afterwards I was told to wait 20 minutes in another area before leaving... but bollocks to that. I could see my Eritrean taxi driver in the car park looking way too pleased with himself... I immediately sneaked out to cut short his joy. All said and done, I reckon the entire process had taken me around 45 minutes.



I got him to drop me in town so I could continue my reminiscing... and he only charged 416 NOK... about 35 quid, which for Norway was a very pleasant surprise. Sorry matey, I take it all back.

I walked down to the waterfront to 'Smedesundet', the sound between Haugesund and the island of Risøy. That bridge connects Risøy to the mainland and has played a big part in my life in the past.



But first I checked out the statue of Marylin Monroe, who looked bra-less to be honest. In case you're wondering, the sculptor had made no effort at any detail under her skirt.



Haugesund claim that Marylin Monroe's father was a local baker before emigrating to America. I can't imagine that America needed any help from Norway on the cuisine front, but there you go.

I walked along to the end of the boardwalk and took this pic. 



The last but one white building across the sound on Risøy, the tallest building with the four gable ends, used to be the offices of Stolt Nielsen Seaway. Anyone associated with the offshore industry will probably have heard of this company in the 1980s and 90s... and will have been familiar with it's fleet of mustard-coloured offshore vessels. Stolt Nielsen were a major dive company back then, but also had a construction division and a survey arm... and were my first employer in the offshore industry. They had the same parent company as Stolt Tankers, which I think are still going today.

Over the years Stolt Nielsen Seaway changed names to Stolf Comex Seaway (with the acquisition of a French dive company), Stolt Offshore, Acergy and were then 'merged' with Subsea 7 to become... Subsea 7. I worked for all at one point or another... same shit, same company... different name.

Anyway, almost throughout the 90s I worked out of the Stolt Nielsen Haugesund office which became a second home. My hotel was in Haugesund, and very day I had to walk back and forth across that b@stard bridge, come rain of shine (usually rain), and sometimes twice if I could wangle a lunchtime pint. It is known as the 'windy bridge', and for good reason.



As it had stopped raining I decided to re-live those memories.

On the way back to the bridge I took a pic of this... a crumbling reminder of Haugesund's past glory. Sild means herring.



At the foot of the bridge is Lothes Bar. In the early 90s this was one of the few places you could drink spirits late at night... Haugesund used to be very conservative. Many times at the weekend I stumbled out of this place after a night of Hansa with Jegermeister chasers, bypassed my hotel room and hiked straight across the bridge to work. I couldn't do that these days.



Back up at street level to gain entry to the bridge my old hotel is visible. It used to be painted white and called the 'Rica Saga' but is still very recognisable to me and brings back a lot of memories... my second home in the 90s. Back then you used to get Braathens Safe loyalty points (before they were absorbed by SAS) when staying in Saga hotels, and Braathens Safe were part of the KLM alliance. I went Gold for KLM in one season of staying in that hotel... a good deal before that particular loophole was closed.

If you check out the first balcony above the entrance on the fourth floor... that is a small two-room suite that I stayed in continually during the 90s. I left bread for the seagulls on the balcony and entertained several guests behind those glass doors... including 'starfish woman', sadly.



Memories... anyway, it was time to walk over the bridge again, for the first time in maybe 20 years.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
Just a question re you leaving before the 20 minutes were up after your jab.
When I had mine I had to wait 30 minutes and then after that they gave me the certificate to say I had had the needle.
Did you get a certificate or any verification that you have had 1 vaccine shot? If not then I would be getting in touch via email to see what you can do to get one.
No good having it is you can't prove it.

As for walking over that bridge no way I could do that without crawling so I couldn't see over the edge, 2 metres is about my limit.

Have a safe trip to the Black sea.

----------


## Mendip

As I ascended the bridge I couldn't help noticing what I at first thought was a high rise going up... but once I looked properly I saw that it wasn't a crane on the right, but a flare stack. This is a new topside being built at the shipyard/engineering works. The comparison with the surrounding housing really gives an idea of the size of these structures.



It is part of the Phase 2 development of the huge Johan Sverdrup field... recently discovered and due west of Stavanger. Johan Sverdrup is, I think, the third biggest hydrocarbon field on the Norwegian Continental Shelf with a design life of 50 years. It currently produces over 500,000 barrels of oil a day... yes, Norway really is that green!



I reached the apex of the bridge but that was far enough... although it had stopped raining there was the constant threat of a downpour and it was blowing an absolute gale. What was there to gain from walking down the other side?

Look at that flag! It was difficult to hold the camera still and if I'd been wearing a hat it would have been long gone.



The view to the north... you can just see my boat in the distance, close to the horizon.



Zoomed in... those white horses look ominous... we will be sailing out into that soon...



And the view to the south.

The big bridge in the background connects to the island of Karmøy... similar to Wales in that it's population are very strange and renowned for inbreeding. That is one bridge I will never attempt to walk over. Haugesund's airport (HAU) is located on Karmøy.



A slightly zoomed in pic showing the old Stolt Nielsen office building at the end of Risøy. During the rare sunny and warm summer days this can be a very pleasant place to be. In May there will be pleasure boats everywhere as the entire population of Norway takes it's holidays. It can be nice.



I also noticed this on Risøy to the south... what I had at first assumed was a tanker is in fact an FPSO being fitted out.



The Njord field is a bit further north of Åsgard, where we were working a couple of weeks ago,.



Shipping and engineering are now a huge employer in Haugesund and previously there would have been an army of British welders and pipe fitters working here throughout the busy times. All of that work of course now goes to Europeans, mainly Poles, but I promised Katie that I wouldn't go there again, I must move on. I'd hate to be labelled a remoaner.

I was very glad to head back down the bridge to get out of the wind. Incidentally, many years ago, somewhere around the foot of that lamppost, I threw up on my way into work on the morning after a heavy night out. It was January and the pool of vomit froze solid on the pavement for several days and became known as '_Mendip's_ Pizza'. It's funny what you remember.



The waterfront north of the bridge... you can imagine how nice this would be in the summer.



And a quick view back at the bridge from the north... no rain but very cold and windy.



My last reminisce of the day... Mackkjelleren. Another regularly frequented bar during the 90s when none of this fancy glass fronting existed and I think the whole area was much nicer.



I tried to gain access for a coffee but it was closed... probably just as well because the temptation for a pint would have been too much by this stage.



The reason I wanted to get inside was this... a picture that has been hanging on the wall in the bar since around 1996, for 25 years...

I took this pic of the pic around 3 years ago...



I was sitting outside Mack's with a couple of colleagues around 1996, both of whom are now retired. I am now older than either of them when that picture was taken... which really makes me feel old. Where have the years gone? I'd love to have those years back again, they were good times... although I'd probably avoid the starfish woman second time around. But not definitely!  :Smile: 

It was time to get back to the boat before I got all melancholy.

The Johan Sverdrup topside was still towering above the surrounding housing. It must be really strange to live closeby and be dwarfed by that structure for months on end, and then for it to suddenly disappear in a day once it's finished and towed out to sea. One day it's a major part of the skyline, and then it just disappears.



On the way back to the boat I passed another smaller bridge to the island of Hasseløy (the next island to the north is Killingøy, where the boat is moored).

This is a small bridge so I popped up to take a pic. A nice view to the south...



And to the north... not far now.



Another bladdy statue... I couldn't be bothered to investigate.



Yes, no stopping now... I was on a mission and wanted to get back to the boat before they stop serving food at 12:30.

It was getting closer...



It was 1.4km away and I had 20 minutes... should be possible.



Another nice church.



And yet another glance back at the Johan Sverdrup topside dominating the skyline, even from this distance.



You've just gotta laugh at these Norwegians!



And finally... 10 minutes to spare...



Security is tight...





A very welcome sight to a cold, wet and hungry traveller.



But this was a surpise... the new 2600 metre long umbilical was back on the spool... I later found out that it hadn't gone on the winch right and so was spooled off again. A Friday departure was looking unlikely... but regardless, I was glad to have got my vaccination out of the way and not wait until Friday's appointment. I have no need or motivation to leave the boat again.



Finally... 5 minutes spare to get some food and strangely enough, a very welcome sight indeed. I happily walked up the gangway after getting soaked through and bitterly cold in Haugesund... the next time my feet touch dry land will most likely be in Istanbul.



And to round up, because I know it's expected... the long anticipated food was pretty shite to be honest and all I had to show for my day trip was a pair of extortionately priced trainers, a tube of toothpaste and a bottle of water that cost more than a pint does in most countries. 

But at least I had my Covid jab!

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> Just a question re you leaving before the 20 minutes were up after your jab.
> When I had mine I had to wait 30 minutes and then after that they gave me the certificate to say I had had the needle.
> Did you get a certificate or any verification that you have had 1 vaccine shot? If not then I would be getting in touch via email to see what you can do to get one.


Yeah, already in hand Ootai.

Everything is online in Norway and you need a digital identity to gain access to your Covid vaccination history. You need a Norwegian bank account to get a digital identity, which I don't have.

They don't give out anything at the vaccination centre... but gave me a link to a government website to look into this. There is of course no email contact given, so I'll have to phone and find out what's what. It seems that they will post out some kind of certificate for me to show the UK authorities when I get my second jab... and then hopefully the UK will give me a digital certificate. My next step is to inquire about this and try to get something sent over to my mum's address in the UK. Nothing will be straightforward but I think all will be possible.

----------


## ootai

And to top it all off after that long walk you couldn't find a set of scales to confirm or refute your weight gain?
We'll see how long those new expensive joggers last but with the little use they will get they should last forever.

Nice pictures by the way not too large for me like when someone else posts.

----------


## Mendip

^ On the contrary Ootai... I know exactly where the scales are but I've just been too busy to go and use them. I have a lot to do on here.

I'm very pleased that you can view my pictures OK... I try and keep things simple as I'm very aware of your limitations.

I think I know exactly what you picture viewing problem is but keep my own council as I don't want to get embroiled in any controversy.

----------


## malmomike77

That's a great update Mendip, would have been even better if you'd fully reminisced and taken us back 25 years for a night out, although we'd probably all have appreciated not seeing the Haugesund starfish incident relived. Sometimes that saying any port in a storm is bollocks. :Smile:  

Its funny though how times change and not always for the better IMO. Whilst its a much healthier and safer environment in many workplaces nowadays, i for one would not swap the, shall we say more relaxed work atmosphere during the 80 and 90's for the fairly sterile, dare i say dull conditions now. Looking back and i suspect its the same for you, when compared to today i cannot believe some of the stuff we used to get up to; you would be dismissed immediately and in some instances arrested and charged. Occasionally at work a some of us reminisce with new staff on what it was like "back in the day" and they sit their open mouthed or colour up from embarrassment. I almost feel sorry for what a dull working life they have ahead of them but i guess what you've never had, you never miss.

Back to present day, great news on the jab and will be result if you can get back to the UK for your second. I am waiting on news on the booster jab and flu jab but as usual in these times its proving a challenge to get a coherent response from anyone. You may want to avail yourself of the Flu jab as well if you can.

I'd watch yourself in Constantinople, keep out of the fleshpots or you may find yourself in a barrel with another starfish incident to recount in the future. Stick to adding to your carved lady collection. Safe travels.

----------


## ootai

> ^ On the contrary Ootai... I know exactly where the scales are but I've just been too busy to go and use them. I have a lot to do on here.
> 
> I'm very pleased that you can view my pictures OK... I try and keep things simple as I'm very aware of your limitations.
> 
> I think I know exactly what you picture viewing problem is but keep my own council as I don't want to get embroiled in any controversy.



I wasn't talking about the scales on the boat but finding some on land that told the true story.

As for the rest of your comments I think it was much better when you weren't trying to be nice.

----------


## Headworx

> Whilst its a much healthier and safer environment in many workplaces nowadays, i for one would not swap the, shall we say more relaxed work atmosphere during the 80 and 90's for the fairly sterile, dare i say dull conditions now.


I can remember when weekly Safety Meetings were first introduced on Sunday nights, and that was only because the client was Shell, and the only way management could get us all in the same place at the same time for 10 minutes was to put on a few cases of free beer  :Smile: . Nobody ever died (well rarely) and accidents were few and far between when we looked out for ourselves and each other without some knob-head who had no idea of what it took to do our jobs telling us how to do our jobs safely. We already knew, or we'd have been either dead or disabled.

----------


## Stumpy

> Nice pictures by the way not too large for me like when someone else posts.


That's because Mendy has a Nokia Flip phone and you have an old CRT where you don't adjust resolution, you adjust raster size..  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

Great Pics Mendy.  Thanks for sharing.  Quite enjoy them while sitting at my pool bar enjoying an ice cold beer....

----------


## bsnub

> Quite enjoy them while sitting at my pool bar enjoying an ice cold beer....


Rub that salt in. 

 :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Rub that salt in.


^  :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

> 


Do I dare ask what you plan on doing with that Sensodyne and your new shoes?  Don't tell me that you read on line that Sensodyne helps with toenail fungus???    :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Do I dare ask what you plan on doing with that Sensodyne and your new shoes? Don't tell me that you read on line that Sensodyne helps with toenail fungus???


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## David48atTD

> I guess you have to hand it to King Harald I, but personally if I'd been around 1000 years ago I'd have jumper in my longboat and rowed the fuk away from Norway to find some place where it doesn't rain all the time and cost 12 quid a pint.


Oh Mendy, God bless you ... you have such a turn of phrase.

Love it!

----------


## helge

Someone made a joke with this roadsign. 'Gøy' means dick in danish. I'm sure it's the same in Norway  :Smile: 

The statue in your earlier post was of Harald 'Fairhair'.

From memory I think he tried to christen Norway; probably with great difficulties.

At first I thought he was the one , who was in the imperial guard in Constantinoble, but I think that it was a later 'Harald'.

Would have been some coincidense, that you both headed in that direction.

He took the russian river route though.



I do not think that you are a moaner.

(not more than the average brit)

----------


## Mendip

> Do I dare ask what you plan on doing with that Sensodyne...


It's for my teeth.

I went to the dentist a few weeks ago with sensitive teeth and she recommended Sensodyne and seeing as it seems to work I wanted to stock up before we depart for the Black Sea.

This really pissed me off to be honest. I'm 54 and only have one filling, until I went to the dentist recently and she told me I suddenly needed five fillings! I was mystified and we went through my diet (which is unchanged and very low in sweet things) and it turns out that lime juice is the probable culprit. Every morning at home I squeeze a couple of fresh limes (we are inundated with the bladdy things) into a glass of orange juice for me and the daughter... and I call it our 'Corona drink'. I tell her the Vitamin C will stop getting the virus. It seems the acidic lime juice may have been etching my teeth... bladdy typical, you try and do the right thing and it's still bad for you. I've stopped the practice now.





> That's because Mendy has a Nokia Flip phone and you have an old CRT where you don't adjust resolution, you adjust raster size..


Ya see, I tried to stay out of this but now you've insulted me and dragged me in.

Just so you know, I have a dual SIM Samsung S10 Plus... about as high tech as you can get.

I think Ootai's problem is very simple... well, his picture viewing problem anyway. It's all to do with your camera settings... and nothing to do with file size but pixel size.

I have my phone camera set to 4:3 ratio and I usually take my pics with the phone sideways so the pics display in landscape format. You seem to have your phone camera set to some kind of weird panorama setting and I bet you take your pics with the phone upright, so the pics display in portrait format, ie up and down instead of side to side. That is why your pictures come out tall and thin.

What I don't understand is why Ootai doesn't just scroll up and down, assuming that he knows all about that. 

But like I say, I don't want to get involved.

----------


## Mendip

> Someone made a joke with this roadsign. 'Gøy' means dick in danish. I'm sure it's the same in Norway


Thanks for that Helge, and what fine comedians you Scandinavians are. 

I still think the 'Farts' road sign was funnier!  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> into a glass of orange juice


Its both the lime and orange juice but if you give your mouth a swill with some water straight after you'll be OK. I'd not recommend bypassing your mouth by going intravenous.

----------


## helge

> I still think the 'Farts' road sign was funnier!


Ofcourse you do

But you'll grow up eventually



 :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ I wouldn't bank on it!


We were supposed to depart our berth at Killingøy for bunkering at 3pm, but it doesn't seem to be happening. 

I was hoping to be around for our departure but that's now looking increasingly unlikely. I've been trying to swing around to days for the transit but have been struggling and now seem to be stuck on this weird 3am to 3pm shift. But seeing as I have no back to back it doesn't matter at all.

Someone asked me if I'd get lonely working all by myself during the night... they clearly have no idea about my social life back in Korat!

The new 2.6km long umbilical is now neatly spooled onto the winch. This will allow us to work in the Black Sea which goes down to around 2.2km water depth.



But it's now 2pm and there is something very obviously missing...



The ROV guys have been doing a re-termination of the new umbilical to the slip rings. These umbilicals are full of fibre-optic wires to both allow the vehicle to be controlled from the vessel and to stream a myriad of data up from the subsea vehicle to the topside computers. This takes some connecting.

I found the ROV... I can't see us leaving in an hour.

----------


## Edmond

That your new weighing scales?





I'm just pissy that you're going to Istanbul with your new Filipino GF and I'm not  :Smile:

----------


## Looper

> the sculptor had made no effort at any detail under her skirt.


Hope you used your phone torch to check in full view of passing locals!

----------


## Saint Willy

The cleaning crew the same or do they change?

----------


## Latindancer

> It's for my teeth.
> 
> I went to the dentist a few weeks ago with sensitive teeth and she recommended Sensodyne and seeing as it seems to work I wanted to stock up before we depart for the Black Sea.
> 
> This really pissed me off to be honest. I'm 54 and only have one filling, until I went to the dentist recently and she told me I suddenly needed five fillings! I was mystified and we went through my diet (which is unchanged and very low in sweet things) and it turns out that lime juice is the probable culprit. Every morning at home I squeeze a couple of fresh limes (we are inundated with the bladdy things) into a glass of orange juice for me and the daughter... and I call it our 'Corona drink'. I tell her the Vitamin C will stop getting the virus. It seems the acidic lime juice may have been etching my teeth... bladdy typical, you try and do the right thing and it's still bad for you. I've stopped the practice now.



Were the fillings near the gumline ? 

As we get older our gums recede (hence the saying "getting long in the tooth") and the portion of tooth now exposed is much softer than the extremity.

 I had this problem myself and now take my dentist's advice to brush with a toothpaste that has much more fluoride.

----------


## Stumpy

> I have a dual SIM Samsung S10 Plus... about as high tech as you can get.


I knew you had a Samsung flagship phone as do I.  I was having some fun with our buddy Mr. CRT ootai.  I mean imagine scrolling up and down....

That said I do take most pictures upright because I do most everything one handed meaning I just don't want to stop and turn the phone sideways and take photos unless it's really necessary. I moved the shutter button to the left about 1/3 way up screen and I can snap photos fast.  This keeps my other hand free to hold my cocktail.   :Smile:

----------


## Cujo

> I moved the shutter button to the left about 1/3 way up screen and I can snap photos fast.  This keeps my other hand free to hold my cock.


FTFY.

----------


## bsnub

> Mr. CRT ootai


Killing me here.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> The cleaning crew the same or do they change?


The Norwegian marine crew do 4 weeks rotations and they all changed out on Wednesday. The Filipinos tend to do 8 week rotations and a couple changed out on Wednesday, including my favourite stewardess, sadly.

The POB is down to around 30 now and it feels like a ghost ship.





> Were the fillings near the gumline ? 
> 
> As we get older our gums recede (hence the saying "getting long in the tooth") and the portion of tooth now exposed is much softer than the extremity.


Yeah, they were all close to the gum line. I've been getting a few indications that I'm getting old lately, and this must be another.  :02: 



The ROV finally came onboard yesterday afternoon, everything was made ship shape and Bristol fashion and we were ready to leave.

And finally the gangway was stowed.



This chap turned up in his van to release the mooring lines...





... and we immediately drifted away from the quayside.



The skipper applied his thrusters and we departed Haugesund at 16:23!



Away we went.



These boats are incredibly manoeuvrable and the skipped steered her out of the quay, around the promontory and out into open sea.



Goodbye Norway!

----------


## Mendip

This may be a good time to show our voyage.

Our destination is Istanbul, which should take us around two weeks... depending on the weather. The ship will be averaging a little over 11 knots.

Don't worry Ootai, we're not sailing off the bottom of the world... just scroll down a bit.



I was slightly economical with the truth in my last post for dramatic effect... after we left the Killingøy quayside and I'd gone to bed, we called in for bunkering at Karmøy. I think 600 cubic metres of MGO was taken on, and we left the bunkering station around midnight.


*Voyage - Day 1*

At the start of my shift we were here...



I've also discovered that we have to call in at Great Yarmouth to pick up some equipment. Thankfully we won't be going alongside as a MOB boat will bring the equipment out to us. This is good news and I'm sure that anyone who has been to Great Yarmouth will agree... it's better to be seen from afar. 

It should take around a day and a half to reach Great Yarmouth, or maybe a bit longer. We've started this voyage with a beam on 30 knot wind and I really hope the skipper slows down a bit... we have 4 to 5m seas and this is very unpleasant indeed.



But I didn't get where I am today by complaining!

The early morning Norwegian coastline off our port side... my next view of land will be Old Blighty, for the first time in a year.

----------


## Stumpy

> FTFY.


Actually I do not need to hold my junk so you "fixed" nothing for me...  I think you know why  :Smile: . My free hand is for Beer or drinks or flipping steak on my BBQ........

----------


## Stumpy

Hey Mendy, Snap off some photos of Sicily as you go by. Wife and I plan on going there next year (Covid dependant of course) to look at villas and see some family. Could be our end game after FIL moves on.

----------


## ootai

> Don't worry Ootai, we're not sailing off the bottom of the world... just scroll down a bit.


Just for that I hope the weather stays rough all the way you cretin.
.
.
.
scroll down a bit





















































Not really hope you have a safe and enjoyable trip.

----------


## Mendip

^ I'll add it to the list JP and see what I can do... but can't promise anything.

Don't take my red arrows too literally as I may have routed us across a few small islands. Hopefully the skipper will take better care.

I don't know how wide the sea is between Tunisia and Sicily but I'm hoping for a pic of Mount Etna with maybe a cloud of ash spewing out... a full-on eruption would be good!

----------


## beerlaodrinker

Are all the Norgie shielas so easy to get along with or just that one? Askin for a friend.




we got back to my hotel room all she wanted to do was take it up the starfish. The Scandinavians are very imancipated and this was quite a shock to my niave, younger self, and it must have made quite an impression on me to remember the incident so clearly 25 years later. I won't say how the night turned out but it's certainly not 

 [/QUOTE]

----------


## PAG

> Are all the Norgie shielas so easy to get along with or just that one? Askin for a friend.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> we got back to my hotel room all she wanted to do was take it up the starfish. The Scandinavians are very imancipated and this was quite a shock to my niave, younger self, and it must have made quite an impression on me to remember the incident so clearly 25 years later. I won't say how the night turned out but it's certainly not


[/QUOTE]

Early January 1973, my very first night in Arctic Norway.   It was a Saturday, and the nearby village had a dance on in the village hall.  The only source of alcohol was a cafe attached to a petrol station on the main road, and (very) expensive beer only.   Of course, we had our 'instant party kits' with us, holdalls with duty free spirits and cassette players.   Anyway, I trapped a lady and went back to her place, another village about 30 kms away.   She had an apartment in the basement of a typical Norwegian wooden house, and in the morning took me upstairs for a breakfast of cheese, bread and strong coffee.   What was unusual was her mother and father joined us, which in my experience wasn't the norm for a 'one night stand'.   She had to leave that afternoon to return to Bodo where she was training to be a nurse.   Never saw her again.

----------


## Stumpy

I gotta say Mendy, that's a pretty good steam from port of origin to Istanbul. Will you be stopping to survey on the way or is it a straight shot to port?

----------


## Mendip

^ Apart from a brief stop at Great Yarmouth it's a direct steam to Istanbul to mobilise for the Black Sea work.

There's no survey personnel onboard (apart from my good self) and only 3 ROV guys to do some work on the vehicle, so we've no capability to do any survey work. I'm only here because I can no longer work in the Norwegian office due to Brexit.

The company are looking for more work in the area while the vessel's in the area. They can bid cheaper since while the vessel is in that part of the world the mobilisation costs are vastly reduced. They've already picked up a 5 day cable route survey in the Aegean between Italy and Albania. Hopefully there will be more.





> Are all the Norgie shielas so easy to get along with or just that one? Askin for a friend.


I'd rather not talk about it. She was quite a bit older than me and not the prettiest girl (woman) in the club. I don't know what I was thinking, to be honest.

The evils of alcohol.

----------


## nidhogg

> I'd rather not talk about it. She was quite a bit older than me and not the prettiest girl (woman) in the club. I don't know what I was thinking, to be honest.
> .


Grab a granny, eh Mendip?

----------


## Headworx

> Grab a granny, eh Mendip?


And hit her in the Gary  :Smile:  He's a class act!!

----------


## beerlaodrinker

We've all been there.

----------


## Mendip

Anyway, who wants to see a nice picture?!!

----------


## hallelujah

> Anyway, who wants to see a nice picture?!!


I know we've been here before, but I would definitely be baiting up and dangling a rod in there.

----------


## Mendip

^ We're doing 11 knots mate... and it's cold out there!

----------


## helge

> They've already picked up a 5 day cable route survey in the Aegean between Italy and Albania. Hopefully there will be more.


Let's see if they can find it first  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Aahhh... I should have maybe said The Adriatic!

I knew it began with an 'A'.

----------


## OhOh

Another entertaining post, closely helmed by Master Mariner Mendip.

I'm presuming when surveying the planned course is followed by the ship, steered at the bridge, and you monitor the SUV feed in real-time.

When you are surveying, if you spot something of interest, do you pilot the SUV or are there dedicated SUV operators ?

Do you concentrate directly below the SUV, or are looking ahead/either side?

How far either side of the course can the SUV go off the planned survey route, if allowed, prior to informing the bridge?

Thanks.

----------


## malmomike77

^ that comes across more as an interrogation, you forgot to include who long Mendip has to respond, with the correct answers of course.  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

I see mendip has neatly diverted attention from "grandmagate"

----------


## Mendip

^^ That's OK... I'm glad to change the subject to be honest!


Good question OhOh... nice to get away from my past indiscretions.

First... it's an ROV. An SUV is something you use to drive your kids to school in Chelsea.

For a route survey, or any kind of work away from platforms, the ROV will fly along a specified route and the ship will follow... called 'follow sub' mode. The ship is positioned by satellite, from which the ROV is positioned by acoustic navigation. The ROV position is then broadcast by a transponder or responder and the ship's navigation system is locked into the ROV position. The ship's thrusters are computer controlled and can hold the ship's position to metric accuracy. 

On a typical route survey there is very little to spot online (in real time). The ROV may fly 10 to 15 metres above the seabed acquiring multibeam echosounder, side scan sonar and sub-bottom profiler data. We'll survey a swath of seabed, from which a route can be decided on. We check that all data has been acquired before leaving a location but processing/interpretation can take many weeks. For example the data I am currently working with was for a route/site survey in the Barent's Sea acquired in July (coincidentally for the same project I worked on last year with a different contractor).

We like to have at least one survey line directly along the centreline of a proposed route since the shallow seismic is acquired directly below the vehicle. Other data may be collected at ranges of maybe 50m to 200m either side of the vehicle. We usually collect data along several winglines, making sure of good data overlap and sufficient density, to survey a corridor maybe 200m to 500m wide. Much of that depends on how much the client is willing to pay... each wingline takes time and costs money.

The ROV doesn't go off course from planned routes unless there has been a problem... a navigation run-off or maybe particularly strong water current. The client doesn't pay if we're off course and surveying a random piece of seabed. Survey lines are fed into the navigation system and much of the ROV piloting is automated. AUVs (Autonomous Underwater Vehicles) have no umbilical and are becoming more common for survey work... using these, the survey line coordinates, survey altitude, etc are fed in, the AUV is launched and completes the survey lines before being recovered. Their main limitation is battery life.

Of course there's many variations on the theme. For visual pipeline inspections, the ROV will fly along a pipeline at an altitude of maybe just a couple of metres, and hopefully anything significant, maybe a mine, will be noticed in real time, in which case we'll stop the survey to take appropriate steps. Final phases of route surveys may also require visual surveys along a decided route, but by that stage anything significant should have been identified during previous surveys.


Edit: She wasn't a Grandma... she was just older than me and I was very young at the time. Also, I distinctly remember stating that I wasn't going to say how the evening turned out. 

Let's keep this to work questions!

----------


## malmomike77

I imagine the seabed has been mapped to death using various instruments, recording depth, obstacles, topography, composition et al but presumably as its a kind of moveable feast that data cannot be relied upon for long hence there will always be job to do.

----------


## helge

> I wasn't going to say how the evening turned out.





> Let's keep this to work questions!


Did you give her the works in the morning ?

Nah 
 :Sad:

----------


## Edmond

Is the work in the Black Sea for the same company that you just did the work for off Norway, and do they own the boat/ship?


Or are they 2 different companies, and they lease the ship and crew off a separate company that owns the ship and uses agents to hire the crew?

(all inhouse, or different companies that lease the ship to do specific jobs)

----------


## nidhogg

> Edit: She wasn't a Grandma...


That is what they all say.  But we are not here to slut shame you Mendip.  






















No matter how big a perv you were.

----------


## helge

Sailing the Med and the Black Sea on full pay

Did he bring shorts, deckchair and sun cream ?

----------


## Looper

> Also, I distinctly remember stating that I wasn't going to say how the evening turned out.


Did you meet her in that boozer with your mugshot on the wall?

'Dikselen Karasnopolsk' - Norwegian for 'The Smashed Starfish'

Liquor in the Front... Poker in the rear

 :ssssh:

----------


## Saint Willy

> I'm only here because I can no longer work in the Norwegian office due to Brexit.


Sounds like you and your countrymen should have voted to remain, eh? Why didn't you think of that?

----------


## Saint Willy

> Let's see if they can find it first



 :rofl: 

Very true. *And Mendy, that's not a comment directed at you. 'tis about the Italians and Albanians.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I see mendip has neatly diverted attention from "grandmagate"



#grandmachocolatestarfishgate

He can divert, but we won't forget.

----------


## armstrong

> Early January 1973, my very first night in Arctic Norway.   It was a Saturday, and the nearby village had a dance on in the village hall.  The only source of alcohol was a cafe attached to a petrol station on the main road, and (very) expensive beer only.   Of course, we had our 'instant party kits' with us, holdalls with duty free spirits and cassette players.   Anyway, I trapped a lady and went back to her place, another village about 30 kms away.   She had an apartment in the basement of a typical Norwegian wooden house, and in the morning took me upstairs for a breakfast of cheese, bread and strong coffee.   What was unusual was her mother and father joined us, which in my experience wasn't the norm for a 'one night stand'.   She had to leave that afternoon to return to Bodo where she was training to be a nurse.   Never saw her again.


I once had breakfast one morning with her kid sat at the other side of the table. That was weird.

----------


## Mendip

^^ For the last time, she wasn't a Grandma. She was just a bit older than me... and I was in my early twenties so even a 30 year-old looked old to me back then.

I think the fact that I'm now a respectable family man tells you exactly how I conducted myself that night.





> I imagine the seabed has been mapped to death using various instruments, recording depth, obstacles, topography, composition et al but presumably as its a kind of moveable feast that data cannot be relied upon for long hence there will always be job to do.


You be surprised at how stable the seabed is in the deep water across much of the Norwegian sector... many of the trawl scars we see on the clay seabed will be tens of years old. In the shallow southern North Sea there is a lot od shifting sand, but even so, the character of the seabed remains unchanged. Once a pipeline or cable route has been decided upon and any obstacles either removed or diverted around, that tends to be final. There is a legal requirement to perform a final 'pre-lay' survey along the proposed route centreline within 30 days of the product lay, just to ensure than no new obstacles have been dropped from a ship or trawled into the area.

If we're supporting a long pipe lay (which can be hundreds of kilometres), we concentrate on monitoring the pipeline as it touches down on the seabed behind the lay barge but will periodically nip in front and carry out a few kilometres of pre-lay survey.





> Is the work in the Black Sea for the same company that you just did the work for off Norway, and do they own the boat/ship?
> 
> Or are they 2 different companies, and they lease the ship and crew off a separate company that owns the ship and uses agents to hire the crew?
> 
> (all inhouse, or different companies that lease the ship to do specific jobs)


The work in the Black Sea is for the same contractor using the same boat. These contractors have the boat on a long term lease from the shipping company. The contractors find a suitable boat and then kit it out with ROVs and survey equipment, and then charge by the day to a client. There is often agreement between the shipping companies and contractors and this vessel was purpose-built for this kind of work. 

The Black Sea work is for a different client than the work in the Norwegian Sea. That was all for Equinor but has finished now... apart from completing old projects/reports which I am currently doing.





> Sailing the Med and the Black Sea on full pay
> 
> Did he bring shorts, deckchair and sun cream ?


It's not a holiday Helge!

And besides, everywhere is pretty chilly after Isaan.

----------


## Mendip

> I once had breakfast one morning with her kid sat at the other side of the table. That was weird.


What was weird... no Leo?

We'll be visiting your neighborhood later today Armstrong. 


*Voyage - Day 2
*
The ship's position hasn't been updated on the website I've been using so I had to co-opt Coco's help for today's report.



We have calm seas and are well on course to visit Great Yarmouth this afternoon. As I mentioned, we're not going alongside... they say to save time but I think the skipper is worried we'll get stuff stolen.

The calm seas meant I could get back into the gym tonight... there's still a few more days of September left for me to lose a bit more weight and claim Dirk's pie. I'm still using my old trainers as I reckon they'll last another couple of weeks before completely falling apart. Waste no, want not.


While there's nothing going on I thought I'd try and give a taste of life onboard a ship.

This is my personal en-suite toilet.



Apart from the taxi rides back and forth between Suvarnabhumi and Korat, showering is probably the most dangerous part of my job. In bad weather there is the constant threat of slippage either inside the shower or when stepping out into the cabin with wet feet. I have to be extra careful due to the state of my big toes... if I was to stub one now it could be disastrous.

Because of this you'll notice the handle fixed to the wall to grab hold of... yes, everything has to be done one-handed in bad weather. One hand for the boat, one for yourself.

I guess I'm lucky that my handle is configured for the left hand!

I've got into the routine of washing my gym stuff in the shower every night before shift. So long as I leave the underfloor heating on, it'll be bone dry a day later to use in the gym again. Life is all about routines on a boat.

----------


## armstrong

Give Jim Davidson a wave as you float by the pier.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> the fact that I'm now a respectable family man


You spend less time with your family than the average traveling salesman/soldier/trucker/ submariner/astronaut. :Smile: 


A Yuri Gagarin/Dwight Yorke/ Wayne Rooney of a family man. :Smile:

----------


## Shy Guava

Matelot Mendip, what is the energy source for the shallow hi-res seismic? Are energy source and geophone(s) both carried on the ROV?

----------


## helge

> most dangerous part of my job.


Old folks use a chair

----------


## armstrong

> You spend less time with your family than the average traveling salesman/soldier/trucker/ submariner/astronaut.
> 
> 
> A Yuri Gagarin/Dwight Yorke/ Wayne Rooney of a family man.


We've seen your family threads Dillinger, don't be a dick.

----------


## cyrille

> A Yuri Gagarin/Dwight Yorke/ Wayne Rooney of a family man.


Says the granny gang banger.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Shutree

> She was just a bit older than me


I go away for a couple of days and return to a thread that reads like a Norse saga.

Being a bit older than you in your twenties she was probably at an age that I'd prefer these days. Anyway, they probably all look quite similar from that angle. 

Doubtless she went home happy and still has fond memories of the evening.

----------


## Stumpy

> Old folks use a chair


Was gonna say the same thing, especially big toe challenged people with little or no grip. You could always shower with your old trainers on... :Smile: . When my parents had their sailboat and we would sail from SF to San Diego we showered using shower flip flops. Cheap ones with good rubber grip soles. Worked really well and in sailboat its mandatory or you will be thrown around.

----------


## Stumpy

Hey Mendy, How is the gardener doing around the place with all the rain? Bet he hasn't picked up a tool since you left. Pond nice and full?   :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> It's for my teeth.


FWIW, my dentist 40 years ago told me to switch to Sensodyne. Even then he said my gums were receding through over-energetic brushing. That surprised me, I don't think I have been an overly energetic brusher. He told me that most brushes then were too big and too firm, he said to switch to a softer, smaller brush, specifically he recommended Oral-B and I have followed that advice since, later switching to an electric toothbrush.

----------


## armstrong

9 out of 10 dentists agree to recommending brands in exchange for money.

----------


## cyrille

> How is the gardener doing around the place with all the rain? Bet he hasn't picked up a tool since you left.


 :Very Happy: 

Doesn't tc supply enough camp innuendo for the entire forum?

----------


## hallelujah

> I once had breakfast one morning with her kid sat at the other side of the table. That was weird.


I had the same thing (minus the kid) when I was on a piss up in London.  It felt more than a bit weird with her mum sat opposite tucking into her bacon and eggs when 30 minutes earlier her daughter had bent over and told me to do anything I wanted to her and had been moaning and groaning knowing her mum was in earshot (like Mendip's story, she was also quite a bit older than me). 

I made my excuses and got out of there sharpish, but I sometimes wonder how the conversation went when I left!

----------


## Topper

> using shower flip flops


That's what I used as well when I had to ride a ship. It gave a bit of grip and protected your feet from athlete's feet.

----------


## Saint Willy

> like Mendip's story, she was also quite a bit older than me



another granny banger!

----------


## hallelujah

> another granny banger!


Guilty. Well, the more mature lady...

----------


## Reg Dingle

> when I had to ride a ship. It gave a bit of grip and protected your feet from athlete's feet


You mean athlete's foot Shirley? Or were  you protecting your achilles from being pounded and ripped into  by the unkempt Mendy-esque toenails of the French mens 4 x 400 metre relay squad?

----------


## Mendip

> Matelot Mendip, what is the energy source for the shallow hi-res seismic? Are energy source and geophone(s) both carried on the ROV?


How wonderful to get a post that isn't about weird sexual practices.


Shy Guava, electricity is supplied to the ROV via the umbilical. This is needed to power the thrusters to enable the ROV pilots to fly the vehicle as well as for all manner of equipment. There is also lighting, positional transponders and a host of survey sensors that all require electricity for power. If, for whatever reason, we lose power to the ROV we have a dead vehicle which then takes some skill to recover unharmed.

The Chirp sub-bottom profiler system we are using has separate transmitter and receivers.

The transmitter has a transducer that converts electrical energy to sound energy to produce a pulse to send down through the water column and into the seabed. This is obviously fitted to the underside of the vehicle to allow unobstructed sight of the seabed.



There are two receivers (hydrophones) that are fitted longitudinally to the underside of the nose of the ROV to receive the reflected pulse. These also require unimpeded 'sight' of the seabed. 



And a close-up of one hydrophone.



It can become a challenge to fit equipment so as not to obstruct the 'view' of other equipment and it's not uncommon to find a small shadow in data due to partial obstruction caused by some other survey sensor.

Acoustic noise from other equipment (or the vessel acoustic navigation system) is also a problem, particularly where two separate sensors are operating at similar frequencies. The sub-bottom profiler data (high resolution seismic) is also extremely susceptible to interference from low frequency hydraulic noise produced by operation of the ROV thrusters, so that's another consideration when located the system.

----------


## David48atTD

> I had the same thing (minus the kid) when I was on a piss up in London.  It felt more than a bit weird with her mum sat opposite tucking into her bacon and eggs when 30 minutes earlier her daughter had bent over and told me to do anything I wanted to her and had been moaning and groaning knowing her mum was in earshot (like Mendip's story, she was also quite a bit older than me). 
> 
> I made my excuses and got out of there sharpish, but I sometimes wonder how the conversation went when I left!



A Sportsman's double  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> FWIW, my dentist 40 years ago told me to switch to Sensodyne. Even then he said my gums were receding through over-energetic brushing. That surprised me, I don't think I have been an overly energetic brusher. He told me that most brushes then were too big and too firm, he said to switch to a softer, smaller brush, specifically he recommended Oral-B and I have followed that advice since, later switching to an electric toothbrush.


I've had exactly the same experience Shutree. A couple of years ago my dentist told me I was brushing too hard and to take things a bit gentler and get a softer brush. I didn't really believe her and two years later have ended up needing a load of fillings and sensitive teeth. I think one of my problems is that I tend to brush from side to side instead of up and down.

I now have the softest possible Oral B toothbrush and use Sensodyne toothpaste... I guess the next step is to limit my diet to soup. I'm really not enjoying getting old.

I've never used an electric toothbrush. I've always thought that shows the height of decadence but maybe I'm just a bit old fashioned?





> Hey Mendy, How is the gardener doing around the place with all the rain? Bet he hasn't picked up a tool since you left. Pond nice and full?


I'll take that bet!

I assumed the same until last week the wife was on to me, saying that the gardener wanted some wheels to get some jobs done. Of course I was, 'WTF does he need wheels... what kind of wheels?'

Nothing was making any sense so I asked for a picture... my usual fall-back for just about anything in Thailand. 



The wheels were for the scaffold tower. The gardener seems to be doing the long awaited anti-pigeon measures on the upstairs window ledges. I guess I shouldn't begrudge a couple of thousand Baht if it saves him dismantling and then re-assembling the tower at every window?





> You spend less time with your family than the average traveling salesman/soldier/trucker/ submariner/astronaut.
> 
> A Yuri Gagarin/Dwight Yorke/ Wayne Rooney of a family man.


I had to look up two of those people on Google and can now see that it wasn't a compliment.

And I've always thought so highly of you...

----------


## Mendip

Yesterday the boat became inundated by a flock of small land birds. Maybe they had been blown off course by our earlier bad weather, or maybe they just wanted a rest.

I'm not sure what kind of birds they were, but I'm sure Shutree will know.



A greenfinch maybe?



A chaffinch?



This often happens, and sadly once these birds take refuge on a boat they usually die. They drink contaminated water from the back deck which doesn't help, and they get seasick. The clever ones stop for a quick rest and then resume their journey to land.

But... on departing the vessel many get swooped on by the ever present seagulls. They are pretty well doomed, unless I guess they are clever enough to wait for nightfall to leave.

We'd been followed by a flock of seagulls all day. Maybe they think we're a fishing boat?



Just waiting to swoop down and eat a poor chaffinch...

----------


## Mendip

Land Ahoy!

My first view of Old Blighty in more than a year.



This was mid-afternoon, and an hour later the skipper had gone as far as he wanted.



We stopped just off Lowestoft.



No sooner had the thrusters come on to maintain position, this small boat turned up. This was obviously a well coordinated operation.



The small boat barged up against us to enable the equipment transfer. A small boat transfer is how we usually crew change in West Africa and you can see the bow of this boat is designed for personnel transfer. No fun in a big swell... you have to time the jump across at the top of a wave which sounds easier than it is when some nerves come into play.



Three boxes were brought for us.



It would be nice to think there were a few steak and kidney pies inside that box, but I very much doubt that. I haven't had any kind of pie since I left home over five weeks ago.



So after a brief 30 minute stop we were on our way again... next stop Istanbul. 

This equipment transfer must have cost a small fortune, but a lot cheaper than getting a pilot, harbour fees and of course the several hours delay that going alongside would have caused. Time is money, and all that.

----------


## Joe 90

Hopefully you'll get a bit of time to have a mooch around Istanbul,  always fancied a visit there.

----------


## Joe 90

> You spend less time with your family than the average traveling salesman/soldier/trucker/ submariner/astronaut.
> 
> 
> A Yuri Gagarin/Dwight Yorke/ Wayne Rooney of a family man.


You hurting from your footy team choice or whatever. 
Mendy is a good father that does his best like we all do.
Its not easy being a family man as you know.

----------


## Shy Guava

> How wonderful to get a post that isn't about weird sexual practices.


Thanks Mendip for the detailed explanation. It is somewhat as I expected. I have a complete hi-res land shallow (<500m) seismic system stacked in my yard right now and a family member who is an ROV pilot, so I am just trying to join all the pieces together as I have very limited offshore experience (but more land experience than should ever be required of a human being).

Great thread, please keep it going.

----------


## Shutree

> I'm not sure what kind of birds they were, but I'm sure Shutree will know.


Thank you for your confidence but there are others here much more knoledgeable than I. I'd go with your Chaffinch suggestion. I hope they took the chance to get to Lowestoft. Any port in a storm and that sort of thing.






> I've never used an electric toothbrush. I've always thought that shows the height of decadence but maybe I'm just a bit old fashioned?


The electric toothbrush is better for me, helps with the up-and-down, actually I just brush up on the bottom teeth and down on the top ones. The more expensive Braun model has a warning light if you press too hard. I was sceptical at first, now I am a believer.

----------


## OhOh

> I asked for a picture... my usual fall-back for just about anything in Thailand.


Be prepared, 

When I was a lad, a hand drawn sketch was the norm. Still acceptable in Thailand.

----------


## Mendip

> Hopefully you'll get a bit of time to have a mooch around Istanbul,  always fancied a visit there.


Not much chance of that sadly... I very much doubt that anyone will be allowed out of the port.







There was one landmark that I really wanted to see during this transit... the iconic White Cliffs of Dover.

The English Channel is undoubtedly one of the most historically significant stretches of water on the planet. Somewhere around 100,000 years ago the breaching of a huge glacial lake fractured the chalk land bridge connecting Britain to continental Europe, initiating the formation of an island. Swampy ground across what is now The Dogger Bank continued to intermittently connect Britain to the Continent during glacial periods with lower water level.

Around 8000 years ago a huge tsunami is thought to have irrevocably flooded this swampy land bridge, thus producing an island nation. This tsunami was triggered by the Storegga Slide, a huge landslip off the west coast of Norway, which is a fascinating topic on it's own. Incidentally, the Ormen Lange gas field is located at the base of the Storegga Slide escarpment and supplies 20% of the UK's gas requirements via the 1166 km long Langeled subsea pipeline.

Storegga Slide - Wikipedia

If it wasn't for the English Channel there probably wouldn't have been endless wars between the French and English through the ages. Napoleon may well have invaded us and then we, along with our colonies and Commonwealth, and most probably Thailand as well, would now be driving on the right. Furthermore with no English Channel the Nazis may well have succeeded 80 years ago and now I could be typing this in German. It makes you think.

But most significantly, if we were not an island nation the UK may have been more predisposed to integrate with our Continental neighbours and there would have been no Brexit. Instead of being stuck on this bloody boat for two weeks, right now I'd be sitting in the Haugesund office and having a pint after work every day.

Everything comes back to geology which is what makes it such a great subject.

But anyway, this was the vessel position at midnight.



Yes, we passed The White Cliffs of Dover in the middle of the bloody night. I was disappointed to say the least.

But despite the disappointment I took a few pictures off our starboard side as we passed. There was just enough moonlight to give the vague indication of whiteness.



Slightly zoomed in you can get a real feel for how magnificent the cliffs would look in daylight.



For the life of me I can't understand why they don't light them up at nighttime, like they do with Big Ben and Buckingham Palace. It would look great.



And here is the comparatively boring French coastline around Calais, off our port side.



The skipper was taking it steady sailing through one of the worlds busiest waterways during the night. We are the little turquoise-coloured boat marked with the black arrow.



And here is one of the lunatic dark blue cross-channel ferries that cut across our bows while plying it's trade back and forth across the main streams of traffic between Dover and Calais.




This also brought me back to the scene of my first proper job back in 1990, which was located around 90 metres below where I took these pictures from.

My job back then was in the UK Crossover Cavern of the Channel Tunnel. 



If you've ever wondered why the tunnel has such an uneven vertical profile... it was to stay within the lower Cretaceous chalk marl, a perfect rock to tunnel through. The overlying white chalk is weathered and full of fissures which would have let too much water through during excavation. It's all down to geology again!

Not really on topic, but a few pics I found of the UK Crossover Cavern... just for the memories. I have a load of hard copy pictures in storage somewhere and haven't seen them in years.

The Crossover Cavern was a huge undersea cavern excavated using roadheaders. The cavern was built to allow the rail tracks of the two main tunnels to cross over to the opposing tunnel in the case of maintenance or an accident. If it wasn't for the crossover caverns (the French had one too) the north and south running tunnels would be entirely independent for their entire lengths.

Most photos were carefully stage-managed for the benefit of the HSE Executive. You can see here that roadheader isn't actually making contact with the rock face... if it was the air would have been full of dust.



The crossover cavern was constructed with three initial chambers, two sidewall chambers and one roof chamber. Once stresses had stabilised, these were combined to make one overall cavern. 

No machinery at all was being operated for these photos! On days that the HSE Executive visited, all machinery was miraculously being maintained and the air quality was excellent.





And the running tunnel south TBM (Tunnel Boring Machine) passing through the crossover cavern on it's way to meet up with the French.

----------


## Edmond

Mendo for TD president.





What are the red and green circles? There seems to be a party/orgy happening on the top right.

----------


## Mendip

Anchored vessels. They'll be anchored up within designated anchorage areas (away from shipping lanes, subsea pipelines/cables etc) awaiting loading or offloading.

----------


## David48atTD

> I think one of my problems is that I tend to brush from side to side instead of up and down.
> 
> I now have the softest possible Oral B toothbrush and use Sensodyne toothpaste... I guess the next step is to limit my diet to soup. I'm really not enjoying getting old.
> 
> I've never used an electric toothbrush. I've always thought that shows the height of decadence but maybe I'm just a bit old fashioned?


Same here.

The Dentist gave me a brushing lesson and, same as polishing s car ... circular motion ... wax on, wax off.

I have a broken crown and something else going on, because I can't get back to Thailand  I use Sensodyne toothpaste ... great stuff.


Couple of years back (when they were on a 1/2 price special) I bought an Electric Toothbrush ... couldn't go back now.
Also great for getting the cleaning action to the back of the molars.

I had a wisdom tooth out about the same time Luigi had his out ... neither of us understood what it a serious operation it was.

My kids also use electric toothbrushes ... one Star Wars, one Frozen ... identical to mine ... just some fancy graphics.


Oh, agree also ... soft bristles, only way to go.

Flossing is the last thing.

----------


## David48atTD

> designed for personnel transfer. 
> 
> 
> 
> ^ Mendip off
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...


...  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> For the life of me I can't understand why they don't light them up at nighttime, like they do with Big Ben and Buckingham Palace. It would look great.


It would certainly help make illegal immigration a 24 hour operation  :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

> Same here.
> 
> The Dentist gave me a brushing lesson and, same as polishing s car ... circular motion ... wax on, wax off.
> 
> I have a broken crown and something else going on, because I can't get back to Thailand  I use Sensodyne toothpaste ... great stuff.
> 
> 
> Couple of years back (when they were on a 1/2 price special) I bought an Electric Toothbrush ... couldn't go back now.
> Also great for getting the cleaning action to the back of the molars.
> ...


I spent nearly the last year with dentists.  Constant problems.  Started getting a getting a broken tooth sorted (required a root canal) last December when I developed a gum abscess at about the same place.  Just developed into a mess, and my regular dentist referred me over to a specialist clinic.  So far I have seen nearly every two weeks either a dentist or a periodontist.  They have finally sorted everything out (mostly the periodontist).  Was scheduled for final work on the root canal to get it ready for a crown, when the f*cking tooth immediately below it broke.  F*ck  me.  So, I now have two temporary crowns, and will go see the crown specialist next week.

Most of the time was spent with the periodontist.  She did a "deep clean" (one mouth quadrant each visit), and some more minor surgery around the site of where the abscess had been.  It has not been fun.  And she said when the crowns were done, back to her for another (more normal) clean.

Between the two (dentist and periodontist) I now have an entirely new brushing routine.   The main focus on brushing is now along the gum line (I was told to use the regular toothbrush at a 45% angle, with only gentle sweeps up to the side of the tooth).  Regular toothbrush first, then a gum tooth brush(along the gum) then an interdental toothbrush.  Twice a day.  Does get old.

Anyway, gum brush and interdental are these things:

----------


## Edmond

Fuck this shit, I'm heading off to brush me teeth.



Really, really fucking well.

----------


## helge

> then we, along with our colonies and Commonwealth, and most probably Thailand as well, would now be driving on the right.





> Everything comes back to geology


You're blaming geology for the british contrariness ?   :smiley laughing: 

Nice to see that you can sail on the right side though

----------


## Stumpy

Tugs boats are fun to watch. I used to sit on the Oakland estuary and watch them push around huge cargo ships as well as cruise ships. You don not really appreciate a tug boat until you see one dry docked and how huge the propellers are.

----------


## armstrong

> Fuck this shit, I'm heading off to brush me teeth.
> 
> 
> 
> Really, really fucking well.


My jager and coke is suddenly not feeling like a great idea.

----------


## David48atTD

Hah ... the different tangents this thread takes.

Before SPAM, now oral hygiene ...  :Smile: 

I've had 3 artificial teeth.  Had 2 knocked out playing Footy, and one because my parents were poor and couldn't afford a root canal, so they pulled the tooth.

Plus some bone graft and a few crowns.

All replaced in Thailand ... great work and affordable.

---

What is crap are (eye) glasses.  Low quality and expensive.

----------


## Shutree

> What is crap are (eye) glasses. Low quality and expensive.


Very expensive here. IMHO

I would say my last pairs from an independent shop introduced to me by a local are good quality. She made it clear to him that she had taught him at school and they ought to be good!

Still very pricey though.

----------


## cyrille

> What is crap are (eye) glasses. Low quality and expensive.


I completely disagree on both counts.

----------


## nidhogg

^you can get good glasses in Thailand, but you move into very expensive....

----------


## Shutree

> ^you can get good glasses in Thailand, but you move into very expensive....


I was into 20K plus per pair for bifocal without famous brand nameframes. That seems expensive to me, maybe less so to others. Certainly I bought cheaper in Shanghai.

----------


## nidhogg

> I was into 20K plus per pair for bifocal without famous brand nameframes. That seems expensive to me, maybe less so to others. Certainly I bought cheaper in Shanghai.


I agee.  Comparative cost is always difficult.  I have dropped 40k for a pair for someone near and dear to me.  My last trip to usa i got three good pairs for the price of one good one here.

----------


## Mendip

I usually stock up on glasses in the UK for about a third the price of Thailand.

The gardener gets his at the local barbers for about 50 Baht a pair but not only do they look really weird, it's completely random what prescription he gets. He just keeps trying different pairs out of the bucket until he can see a bit better.

Thinking about it, this may explain his tree pruning.

----------


## armstrong

How are you paying 20k for glasses?!  I'm pretty blind and buy brand names with the screen coating, scratch resistant etc for 8k.

----------


## OhOh

Just bought a new pair and two new frames.

Varifocal lenses:

_"Varifocal lenses allow you to see at any distance, because they have  different sections for viewing close up and far away and everything in  between. So whether youre driving, using a computer, shopping or  reading, you can wear one pair of varifocals to accommodate all your  vision needs."

_Allegedly Japanese.  :Smile: 

Non "famous brand" frames. Comfortable being anonymous.

฿10k in total. 

฿6k - 1 x new prescription lenses + ฿4k - 2 new frames.

 (old lenses inserted into one of the new frames for garden usage).

3 day service

----------


## Topper

> "Varifocal lenses allow you to see at any distance, because they have different sections for viewing close up and far away and everything in between. So whether you’re driving, using a computer, shopping or reading, you can wear one pair of varifocals to accommodate all your vision needs."


I just got something similar here, probably about 5-6K.  In my case, they're tri focal, with a graduated grind on the lens from seeing stuff at a distance, to working on a computer to reading.  To be honest, I've had a hard time getting adjusted to them.

----------


## marcusb

^ I have similar glasses. 22,000 in Thailand 6,500 in Canada.  In Thailand I would buy the special coating etc and they still seemed to get little scratches too easily.  

The top Chareon gals were much prettier than the staff here though...

----------


## Looper

> Somewhere around 100,000 years ago the breaching of a huge glacial lake fractured the chalk land bridge connecting Britain to continental Europe, initiating the formation of an island.


Fascinating stuff Mendip.

Amazing to get some insight into how the geological  and geographical upheavals of aeons ago shaped the most significant human geo-political tidal flows of the last millennium.

I really enjoyed this lecture course by the wonderful Stuart Sutherland, a geologist and paleontologist

The Great Courses

It is a 36 lecture history of life on a geological timescale and from a geological perspective




> Swampy ground across what is now The Dogger Bank


You have got the smashed starfish lady in the dogging wank bank fer life fer shure and that is something nobody can ever take away

 :Yup: 

That is a bold move to bust too, if the feisty Queen Lagertha from the Vikings show is an indicative character representation

----------


## Saint Willy

> Fascinating stuff Mendip.
> 
> Amazing to get some insight into how the geological  and geographical upheavals of aeons ago shaped the most significant human geo-political tidal flows of the last millennium.
> 
> I really enjoyed this lecture course by the wonderful Stuart Sutherland, a geologist and paleontologist
> 
> The Great Courses
> 
> It is a 36 lecture history of life on a geological timescale and from a geological perspective
> ...



Indeed I’d happily give her chocolate starfish a battering, even if she was a granny!

----------


## Mendip

^ You didn't see the boat race, mate!





> Fascinating stuff Mendip.
> 
> Amazing to get some insight into how the geological  and geographical upheavals of aeons ago shaped the most significant human geo-political tidal flows of the last millennium.
> 
> I really enjoyed this lecture course by the wonderful Stuart Sutherland, a geologist and paleontologist



Yeah, if it wasn't for the formation of the English Channel that fancy Jag of yours would be left hand drive, and that tidal flow of Asians turning up to your gaff would be arriving perched up on the left hand seat of their Toyotas... it makes you think.

I'm always looking for something to listen to during my lonely night shifts so checked out those lectures you mentioned... but they're videos AND you have to pay for them. I don't suppose you know if he's done any free podcasts?

And as for your 'dogging wank bank' comments... I'll ignore them.


Anyway, the weather picked up steadily as we progressed through the English Channel yesterday. I hope those chaffinches made it off the boat at Lowestoft or they'll have had a good soaking yesterday.



We passed the Isle of Wight early afternoon, keeping well clear of The Needles.



^ And you see the two small turquoise boats off our starboard side in the website...

Here they are in real life. You can see the Isle of Wight in the background with what looks like a huge container ship just in front.

This was probably my last glimpse of land until Gibraltar.



This one looked like some kind of naval vessel... but I don't know if it was a French one ushering illegal migrants across the channel or a British one trying to repel them.



And tonight we're about to round the Brest Peninsular and start heading across the infamous Bay of Biscay.



We're currently heading straight into 20 knot winds and the boat's moving badly enough as it is. Once we change heading southwards we'll be beam on to 4 to 5 metres seas coming in off the Atlantic and it's gonna get nasty. I hope the skipper slows down a bit or I won't be getting much work done tomorrow night.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ You didn't see the boat race, mate!



Yeah, but you dont stare at the mantle piece when you are stoking the fire!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Yeah, if it wasn't for the formation of the English Channel that fancy Jag of yours would be left hand drive, and that tidal flow of Asians turning up to your gaff would be arriving perched up on the left hand seat of their Toyotas... it makes you think.


Fascinating stuff mate!

----------


## Stumpy

> I have dropped 40k for a pair for someone near and dear to me. My last trip to usa i got three good pairs for the price of one good one here.


My wife and I found opposite results (Well my wife did as I do not wear glasses). Recently in BKK a descent pair ran us about about 6800 bht, took 3 hours included the eye examine. In US in comparison when we stopped at Lens Crafters it was going to be 12 to 15k baht and that takes an optical eye appt which was another 2k baht and had to wait for 2 days. I find optical, dental and most medical processes significantly less expensive here in Thailand usually coupled with far better customer service.

----------


## Stumpy

Great updates Mendy. Love seeing the journey.

Keep them coming

----------


## OhOh

> I've had a hard time getting adjusted to them.


Not as bad as getting used to soft contact lenses! 

Which now appear to be available with a similar variable focus setup.

----------


## Topper

> This one looked like some kind of naval vessel... but I don't know if it was a French one ushering illegal migrants across the channel or a British one trying to repel them.


Don't think so...no flag flying and no number on the side that I can see.




> Not as bad as getting used to soft contact lenses!


I've never used contacts...I don't like the idea of a piece of plastic in my eye.

----------


## Looper

> I'm always looking for something to listen to during my lonely night shifts so checked out those lectures you mentioned... but they're videos AND you have to pay for them. I don't suppose you know if he's done any free podcasts?


You can find the whole course in 720p on Piratebay and the other usual places.

If you have got an internet connection and a VPN on Boatie-McBoatFace you could do worse to fill in time on the Med cruise to the Black Sea

Really enjoyable presenter and material

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks Looper... it'll have to wait. I can't download stuff on work computers.


Our position hasn't been updated for nearly a day on the website which still places us somewhere between Land's End and Brest.

My calculations locate us here... displayed with the help of Coco.

(and before you wonder how I can use a sextant in the middle of the night... my 'calculations' involved walking across to a computer and clicking on 'Ship Position')



We're approaching Cape Finisterre, which was believed to be the end of the known world in Roman times. Cape Finisterre is located within the '_Costa da Morte_', the Coast of Death, known as such because of the treacherous rocky coastline which has been a graveyard for ships through the ages. Fingers crossed the skipper keeps his eyes peeled tonight.

Many years ago I did some work with Sverker Hallstrom, a Swedish shipwreck hunter based in Singapore. The ill-fated project I worked on is consigned to anonymity but he has had several successful projects over the years. One of these included the salvage of gold sovereigns from the _RMS Douro_, a Victorian era steamship that was wrecked off Cape Finisterre in 1892. Unfortunately I wasn't on that project which raised around £1.5 million, but I do have one of the gold sovereigns somewhere in storage with all my crap.

The story is told here.

RMS Douro gold Sovereigns


I went up to the bridge today. It's five decks up from the main deck (where my office is). You may get a good view from the bridge but the movement is way worse. I'm happy where I am.



This is where the ship is being driven from.



And the view from the driver's seat.



The DP (Dynamic Positioning) consul. The ship's position is controlled from here when we're off main engines and using thrusters while working with the ROV. The DP consul faces aft.



And the view...



But it doesn't matter where you sit during a transit... there's usually very little to see.

The only thing of interest I saw yesterday was this container ship, heading in the same direction as us.

----------


## Joe 90

> driven from


Nautical terms please :Smile: 

Interesting history lesson, btw what's the gold coin worth today?

----------


## David48atTD

> Interesting history lesson, btw what's the gold coin worth today?





> *RMS Douro’s Sovereigns*
>  As with all salvaged material from wrecks Sverker Hallstrom and his  team were required to wait one year and one day before legally making  claim to their bounty. 
> After this period all coins were sent to Spink  and Son of London for classification and some 10,000 were considered to  be of collectible quality and interest. 
> Four months later a huge auction  took place in London with the largest collection of Sovereigns ever  sold including some of the rarest. 
> 
> Michael Marsh listed, two 1863 ‘827’  sovereigns one of each variety, ‘827’ on truncation with die number and  the rarer ‘827’ as die number. Just One 1843 narrow shield variety which  tends to suggest just how rare these are. 
> 
> Thirteen 1859 Ansell  sovereigns were found with just two grading EF and above which in itself  suggests that these did not wear at all well in circulation even for a  short period of time. 
> 
> *The collector can find the Ansell sovereign today  in grades @VF for @£2000 but will need to part with a sum closer to  £5000 for something nearer to EF.*


1 - The Sovereigns of the RMS Douro – Allgold Coins

VF = Very Fine
EF = Extra fine

----------


## Joe 90

Dig it out, It would make a nice toe ring Mendip!

----------


## Mendip

> Interesting history lesson, btw what's the gold coin worth today?


A lot less since Brexit!  :Smile: 

I seem to remember the sovereign I had was worth around $400 US around 20 years ago and I don't suppose the value has change much since then.

My problem is getting hold of my old stuff... I have a half container of crap in storage on a mate's farm in Wooroloo, up in the hills behind Perth. I never seem to get the time to go back and sort it all out, and of course that's impossible just now with Covid.

Along with all the crap, I also have a few pieces of 17th Century Chinese porcelain from another shipwreck Sverker Hallstrom salvaged, off Vung Tau in Vietnam. Another project I wasn't involved in, which he made a small fortune out of.

THE VUNG TAU SHIPWRECK (c. 1690) | Khanhhoathuynga's collection Blog - An Asian art info blog

----------


## Joe 90

You could be sat on a fortune there mate.
Maybe Sid can help you out with valuations. 
He made me £1500 on a silver spoon a couple of years back.

----------


## ootai

> My problem is getting hold of my old stuff... I have a half container of crap in storage on a mate's farm in Wooroloo, up in the hills behind Perth. I never seem to get the time to go back and sort it all out, and of course that's impossible just now with Covid.


You and me both want to be able to get back there, I grew up in that area and I played junior football for Wooroloo.
My brother still lives in that area probably less than 10km from Wooroloo so if ever I get back there again I could have a look for you, for a finder's fee of course.

Was your mate affected by the big bushfire they had through that area earlier this year? I believe it was more around the Gidgeganup area which is NW a little of Wooroloo.

----------


## Shutree

> This is where the ship is being driven from.


I don't see anyone actually driving the thing.

----------


## Headworx

^

----------


## Mendip

^  :Smile: 

^^ There was actually a person sitting in each of those chairs, I checked because I was a bit worried as well.

The Second Officer was in the driving seat and a girl who is on the muster list as a 'student' was in the passenger seat. I guess she could probably have a go since we won't be doing any parking until Istanbul.

Those seats are huge... way better than the knackered old thing I get to sit on for 12 hours a day.

And by the way, that's not a 'moan', it's just an observation.

----------


## malmomike77

^ The ships will drive themselves most of the time and keep a look out for other ship using CBDR, wake them up if something needs tweaking.  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> The Second Officer was in the driving seat and a girl who is on the muster list as a 'student' was in the passenger seat. I guess she could probably have a go since we won't be doing any parking until Istanbul.


That's very sexist and quite frankly, surprising from you. 

Next thing you'll be saying is if the CO and SO were both female it wouldn't be called the bridge anymore, it'd be the box office  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

Mendip, do you have to ask if you can "Cum on the bridge"?

----------


## Shutree

> You could be sat on a fortune there mate.


This was 'export ware', made for the European market and often shipped as ballast. It was decorative rather than fine China. That said, it is 400 years old and is very collectible today. Hundreds or thousands of quid for pieces in good condition. Mendip's stuff has known provenance too, which can push up the value. 

Probably not a fortune, just enough to cover a few passport renewal trips to Bangkok, with all the trimmings.  :Smile:

----------


## Topper

So Mendip, are you 'round Ushant yet?  It was always mentioned in the Hornblower books as a significant landmark when heading to the Med.

----------


## Edmond

Will you get some free time in Istanbul to 'renew your passport', or will be staying on the boat while passing through?

----------


## Mendip

^^ Topper, have you read the Patrick O'brian series of books with Jack Aubrey... they are superb.

We rounded Ushant without incident some time ago and this morning were off Cape Finisterre and the 'Costa da Morte'. The weather is good and I'm hopeful we will avoid foundering on the rocks.



It was a beautiful sunrise looking eastwards towards Spain. The weather is becoming noticeably warmer as we head south and I'm looking forward to getting in the Med.



This guy was off our starboard side but soon left us behind.



And another container ship left us in it's wake... they don't half shift.



I've taken to spending 20 minutes on the helideck after breakfast. It's a lovely time of day with no disturbances whatsoever.

----------


## Stumpy

Cheers Mendy. Great pics. 

Another day in the books.   

We finally had sun here today. Beautiful and quite comfortable. Tomorrow looks to be full blue skies.

----------


## Mendip

> Probably not a fortune, just enough to cover a few passport renewal trips to Bangkok, with all the trimmings.





> Will you get some free time in Istanbul to 'renew your passport', or will be staying on the boat while passing through?



I do notice these constant underlying connotations but try not to respond.

I have two passports, my daughter has two passports (and her's only last for 5 years) and my wife has an Aussie passport.

These passports don't just renew themselves ya know. Each renewal takes at least two trips to Bangkok to sort out. It all mounts up.

----------


## beerlaodrinker

That's what I kept telling Mrs bld

----------


## Saint Willy

Brilliant plan Mendip, I shall start arranging some monthly passport trips also!  :party43:

----------


## hallelujah

> Brilliant plan Mendip, I shall start arranging some monthly passport trips also!


I had a mate who, on our weekends away in Amsterdam, would famously announce that he was "just nipping out for a kebab" when we were in the bar. Course you are mate.

I bet Mendy's missus barely looks up from her lakorn these days when he tells her he's "just nipping out for a passport, luv."   :smiley laughing:

----------


## Edmond

> That's what I kept telling Mrs bld


Don't forget, it's only the father/husband that has to be there in person.


#foolin.no.one

----------


## Edmond

Anyway, how much longer til you dock in Istanbul and you're not the hairiest person in a 1000km radius.  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> Anyway, how much longer til you dock in Istanbul and you're not the hairiest person in a 1000km radius.


I was in Istanbul for a night a few weekends ago, funnily enough. Unexpectedly,  :ssssh: mind, and the film Midnight Express actually came to mind at one point.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Mendips not all that hairy, But he is a bit. I suppose those see through velour undies he fancies make it worse!

----------


## Stumpy

> see through velour undies


Silk wicking....silk wicking SW.

I still haven't determined what that really means.  Does it mean that Mendy sweats silk or are those cheap Lazada  drawers made of silk?   :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> I suppose those see through velour undies he fancies make it worse!


I'm constantly amazed at what people latch onto from this thread. 

I had to look up 'velour' on the internet. I was thinking of something else altogether... maybe 'valour' I think.

Anyway, I most definitely do not wear velour undies... not even at the weekend.

----------


## Joe 90

I always thought velour was a car upholstery,  maybe my tinterweb security settings prohibit me from what you see. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Anyway, how much longer til you dock in Istanbul and you're not the hairiest person in a 1000km radius.


I'll ignore the 'hairy' comment, but this is where we are right now...



How about a little competition?

I'll find a prize for whoever guesses closest to when we dock at Istanbul... when the ship actually bumps against the quayside. Maybe a box of Turkish Delight or a Tommy Cooper fez? Or how about a pair of Turkish ear hair trimmers?

I'll kick it off with 10:45am on Friday October 8th.

That gives me plenty more time to get in shape. We should be through the worst of the weather and tonight the rollometer in the gym was back within allowable limits... so I went for it!



I'm quite looking forward to getting to Istanbul and working with people again as it's really strange working completely alone every night. The night shift is always quieter but this is something else altogether... the project area is completely deserted.

Usually there would be a surveyor sat at this desk 24/7.



Two or three ROV types usually pilot/observe the vehicle from this area...



Three or four processors/draughtsmen/techs would be working in this area...



And of course yours truly would be working with at least one other geo in this office... instead of being sat all on my own every night.

I'm starting to miss my social life in Korat!

----------


## Stumpy

Boy Mr CRT ootai could sure use one of the monitors so he could view pictures proper.   :Smile:

----------


## mudcat

I will take October 8, 7:09 AM as that is my birth date and time (in another century and different time zone)

----------


## Shutree

> Or how about a pair of Turkish ear hair trimmers?


So long as they are both young and attractive and female, that would do nicely.

----------


## Shutree

> this is where we are right now...


You are passing some excellent wine country there. Tragic you cannot stop and grab a few cases.

----------


## happynz

"You have to be in it to win it."

08/10/2021 at 06:45 AM

----------


## Mendip

^, ^^^^ Bloody hell... I hope you guys aren't being overly influenced by  my guess... I was measuring distances on the screen using a plastic  spoon for scale. I wish I'd been a bit more accurate now.





> So long as they are both young and attractive and female, that would do nicely.


I see what you did there Shutree!

----------


## Stumpy

Oct 8 @ 9:38am

----------


## Mendip

^  :Smile: 

I'll just have to hope for a delay!

----------


## Shutree

I'll go later:

14:15 hrs Istanbul local time on Friday, October 8th.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I'll find a prize for whoever guesses closest to when we dock at Istanbul... when the ship actually bumps against the quayside. Maybe a box of Turkish Delight or a Tommy Cooper fez? Or how about a pair of Turkish ear hair trimmers?
> 
> I'll kick it off with 10:45am on Friday October 8th.


10:46am on on Friday October 8th.

----------


## Mendip

^ FFS... I haven't got a chance now!

----------


## bsnub

> Boy Mr CRT ootai could sure use one of the monitors so he could view pictures proper.


 :rofl:

----------


## David48atTD

> How about a little competition?
> 
> I'll find a prize for whoever guesses closest to when we dock at Istanbul... when the ship actually bumps against the quayside. Maybe a box of Turkish Delight or a Tommy Cooper fez? Or how about a pair of Turkish ear hair trimmers?
> 
> I'll kick it off with 10:45am on Friday October 8th.


07:10 pm on Friday October 8th.

----------


## malmomike77

i'm going controversial - 00:55am on Sat 9th Oct. Always been an outlier, see if Mendip gets the pun.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Geological puns are always welcome here Mike!

_'An outlier is an area of younger rock completely surrounded by older rocks. An outlier is typically formed when sufficient erosion of surrounding rocks has taken place to sever the younger rock's original continuity with a larger mass of the same younger rocks nearby.'_


Controversial indeed... if we arrive late at night we're almost certain to wait for daylight to enter the port. My 10:45am guess is based on that happening, plus a few delays...

But anything can happen, of course, and I'd better say no more before I'm proved completely wrong.

----------


## malmomike77

OK, 09.00 on the 8th just to give myself a fighting chance

----------


## Headworx

16:37 on Friday.

----------


## Shutree

> ^ FFS... I haven't got a chance now!


Well, you wouldn't want to be winning your own competition, would you?

----------


## OhOh

> I've never used contacts...I don't like the idea of a piece of plastic in my eye.


I agree scary at first, then zzzz

I remember standing out in the fields at night and seeing the stars, with no glasses. 

But c'est la vie.

----------


## Joe 90

Mid day on Friday, 8th at 12 noon.

----------


## Edmond

Will be nice to sort out the new clothes situation while there.

----------


## Mendip

^ I wouldn't even bother entering the competition if I was you!

----------


## nidhogg

You will be early.  I will go for  10:35am on Friday October 8th.

----------


## OhOh

If your course transits the Strait of Messina shut those portholes and plug your ears with wax.

----------


## Mendip

So long as the skipper stays off the grog we should give the Strait of Messina a wide berth.

I worked there many years ago as there's a few subsea pipelines between Messina and the mainland. I didn't notice any sea monsters but I do remember there being piles of plastic water bottles caught against the sides of the pipelines for hundreds of metres. I've never seen so much litter underwater since.


This morning we had a nice Portuguese sunrise. Tomorrow we'll have another Spanish sunrise which will herald the start of a very special day for me.

----------


## malmomike77

Strap in Mendip, the skipper has got wind of you doing a reverse migration, hopping over the side at the straits of Gib and making a swim for the dark continent and all those dusky maidens.

----------


## Edmond

Cracking sunsets.  :tumbs: 

Must be heaven getting to warmer climes after the North Sea.

Do you know what you and the ship will do after the Black Sea gig is done and dusted?

----------


## Topper

I'm going for Thursday night at 11:22 pm.

----------


## helge

Oct 9 -0200

----------


## Mendip

> Well, you wouldn't want to be winning your own competition, would you?


I don't see why not... I've always fancied a Fez!






> Must be heaven getting to warmer climes after the North Sea.
> 
> Do you know what you and the ship will do after the Black Sea gig is done and dusted?


It's nice, you can feel the weather getting a bit warmer every day. I must admit that as my work goes, it doesn't get much better than this.

My plan is to do the first 6 weeks of the Black Sea work and then call it a day. That will have given me a 12 week trip, which is definitely long enough on a boat. Then around mid November I'll head back to the UK to stay with my mum for a couple of weeks, get my second Pfizer shot and arrange a CoE, or whatever is required by then. The boat has 8 weeks work in the Black Sea and already a 5 day follow-on job on in the Adriatic. The company are bidding for more work in the area but it's already looking as though next year's Equinor work in Norway may start up as early as January, so the boat will head back straight after the Adriatic. The company has to tread a line between getting extra work in the Med but not pissing off their steady clients. Next year is looking extremely busy... but I also thought that in the Autumn of 2019 and look what happened... I just hope travel is possible so I can take advantage of it.

At least... I say that's my plan but I'm currently battling with the HSE department. They've just got wind of my schedule to stay onboard for 12 weeks and aren't happy... want me to take a 2 week break. They usually only allow 4 or 6 week trips and I'd avoided their attention since my work will be split across two different clients. That's the problem with Norwegians... they think that everyone else can only do 2 week trips and live a short flight away from work. They don't realise there's a big wide world out there.


Anyway, tonight we're rounding Cape St Vincent at the southern tip of Portugal... and then on to the Strait of Gibraltar and in to the Med. It's looking like bad timing for me and I'll have to stay up late after my bedtime if I want to see Gibraltar.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I say that's my plan but I'm currently battling with the HSE department. They've just got wind of my schedule to stay onboard for 12 weeks and aren't happy... want me to take a 2 week break.


Bugger. 

Good luck with that.

----------


## Stumpy

> I must admit that as my work goes, it doesn't get much better than this.


I gotta say Mendy. Its like being on a small cruise ship with awesome views, albeit marginal food and zero entertainment. They need a skeet shooting or golf ball driving platform out back and at least a small sky lounge with a few beers on Tap.  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> I must admit that as my work goes, it doesn't get much better than this.





> I gotta say Mendy. Its like being on a small cruise ship with awesome views, albeit marginal food and zero entertainment. They need a skeet shooting or golf ball driving platform out back and at least a small sky lounge with a few beers on Tap.


Unfortunately JP some people have to actually work and can't just laze around by the pool drinking beer and whisky like someone I know.

----------


## baldrick

> HSE department. They've just got wind of my schedule to stay onboard for 12 weeks and aren't happy... want me to take a 2 week break


health and safety - ask them why they want you to hop off the boat in a covid infested country ? tell them that for your own safety you want to stay on board

----------


## Headworx

^Or, do the world a favour by stabbing the worthless cvnts in the neck with a pair of rusty scissors and throw them overboard. Assuming you think you could get away with it, obviously.

----------


## malmomike77

Careful on the lash in the Nople Mendip

Drunk Turkish man reported missing joins search party and ‘finds himself’ in forest

​A drunk Turkish man who was reported missing “found himself” after inadvertently joining the search party sent out to look for him

Beyhan Mutlu, who is living in Inegol in the northwestern province of Bursa, was reported missing on Tuesday.


His family alerted authorities after he failed to return home from a drinking session with friends and didn’t return phone calls.


Officials said Mr Mutlu, 50, wandered into a forest and could not be found by his friends, Turkish media outlet Daily Sabah reported.


A search party was dispatched to the area and Mr Mutlu ended up meeting them in the woods, according to the report.


Officials reportedly had no idea that Mr Mutlu was the man they had been looking for and he joined the search party for several hours before “finding himself”.


Reports say Mr Mutlu became aware that he was the one the search party was looking for after they began shouting his name.


Authorities reportedly took a statement from Mr Mutlu before taking home to his loved ones.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/drunk-turkish-man-search-party-b1929897.html

----------


## Stumpy

> Unfortunately JP some people have to actually work and can't just laze around by the pool drinking beer and whisky like someone I know.


Wait just a minute there Mr. CRT. Mendy doesn't work 24/7 so a ship of that size should have some sort of employee recreational area.  A small Gym is nice but there should be other things to do.   :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> a few beers on Tap.


The key!





> some people have to actually work and can't just laze around by the pool drinking beer and whisky like someone I know.



Don't forget BBQs...

----------


## Shy Guava

I have been on the blower with the skipper and am plumping (no pun intended) for 9AM arrival, or shortly after, on the 9th October. What was the prize again?

----------


## Shutree

> What was the prize again?


I'm pretty sure it had something to do with exotic dancers.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> health and safety - ask them why they want you to hop off the boat in a covid infested country ? tell them that for your own safety you want to stay on board


Exactly... that was one of my points.

They judge everyone by their own staff... so if a crew change goes one day later than the two weeks all hell breaks loose. When I started doing this you stayed onboard until the job was finished, regardless how long it took.

They are desperate for personnel... the industry's become very busy this year and a combination of Covid and Brexit has made it extremely difficult for Norwegian contractors to find people. I mentioned to the OM that if they insist on me taking a break from the boat, then they can just fly me direct to Gothenburg. That Swedish company I worked for last year has loads of work as well.





> ^Or, do the world a favour by stabbing the worthless cvnts in the neck with a pair of rusty scissors and throw them overboard.


Sadly they are in the Haugesund office many miles away. I doubt many have even seen a boat, let alone worked on one.

----------


## Mendip

> Wait just a minute there Mr. CRT. Mendy doesn't work 24/7 so a ship of that size should have some sort of employee recreational area.  A small Gym is nice but there should be other things to do.


You've gotta make your own entertainment when working on a boat JP... all you need is a bit of imagination.

By the way, what does 'CRT' stand for?

----------


## Mendip

> I have been on the blower with the skipper and am plumping (no pun intended) for 9AM arrival, or shortly after, on the 10th October. What was the prize again?


I had a chat with the skipper yesterday, and told him if anyone calls just give some bullshit time to get rid of them.

He mentioned you called SG... we had a good laugh about that. Good luck with '9AM'!  :Smile: 

The prizes, although it's not as though you have a chance, will be a Fez, a box of Turkish Delight or a pair of Turkish ear hair clippers. All subject to availability of course.

If you want an erotic dancer it looks as though you'll have to call Shutree!

Another beautiful sunrise this morning looking eastwards across the Gulf of Cadiz.



Well, slightly south of east, to be exact.

----------


## Edmond

^ cracking sunrises/sunsets. 





> you stayed onboard until the job was finished, regardless how long it took.


Sounds like prostitute customer service training.  :Smile: 






> They are desperate for personnel.


Don't suppose that stretches to people with zero geological education and experience, and a penchant for manicures.

----------


## malmomike77

> Don't suppose that stretches to people with zero geological education and experience, and a penchant for manicures.


Pop to the UK and pass your HGV test, i'm sure you could get away with a booster cushion  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> HGV test


Already done and came back negative. 



Praise the lord.

----------


## ootai

> By the way, what does 'CRT' stand for?


Mendip I had to ask him the same thing. It stands for "cathode ray tube".
I think he was trying to be funny insinuating that I could see his oversize pictures because I had an old monitor.
He won't admit that its his problem not mine I just have to put up with his inability to understand that not everyone has the latest and greatest.
My computer monitor is barely 6 months old and the display resolution is set the same as his monitor but there you are a manager who blames everyone but himself.

----------


## Mendip

> ^ cracking sunrises/sunsets. 
> 
> Don't suppose that stretches to people with zero geological education and experience, and a penchant for manicures.


You were doing well until you mentioned 'manicures'.

Too much fancy personal grooming and you'll get some unwanted attention. It's all rough and ready types out here.

No sunsets, it's all been sunrises so far. I'm doing this strange 2am ish to 2pm ish shift, although if I want to see the Strait of Gibraltar I'll have to stay up late today.

----------


## malmomike77

> although if I want to see the Strait of Gibraltar I'll have to stay up late today.


Don't forget to hurl some British abuse at the Spanish police boats, ask them about their Royal family  :Smile:  and throw your old trainers at them

----------


## Mendip

> ... there you are a manager who blames everyone but himself.


A manager and an engineer trying to communicate... there was always gonna be problems.

I've had my own dealings with the HSE management this morning... I've just heard there will be an MOC (Management of Change) to 'allow' me to stay onboard and do a long trip. 

This kind of shit is one of the many reasons I've never considered going into management in this industry.

----------


## Mendip

> Don't forget to hurl some British abuse at the Spanish police boats, ask them about their Royal family  and throw your old trainers at them


Will do... but I only know '_cerveza_'.

Surely their royal family can't be any worse than our own?

----------


## bsnub

> I think he was trying to be funny insinuating that I could see his oversize pictures because I had an old monitor.


Actually it was me that suggested that you had a CRT monitor.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> all you need is a bit of imagination.


So please do tell me about the imagination part?  I was thinking, what would I do....After running around the deck a few times, updating TD until I was tired. I would probably off myself around day 6.  :Smile: 




> By the way, what does 'CRT' stand for


Cathode Ray tube....you know the big old glass computer monitors where you have to adjust vertical and horizontal..... ootai could use one of those beautiful monitors you use for the ROV dives.

----------


## Stumpy

So Mendy...In all seriousness, what does one do when off? You said you work 12's so you have 12 off. Do they have like a Lounge Movie type room where you can watch some shows or movies, chat with some mates? Do you have card night?  Bingo night? or do you just stay in your cabin until your next shift? 

I think some who have never been in your field would be interested. I used to be a deckhand when I was in my teens and we would do some 3 or 4 day Tuna charters but we would play poker, drink, watch movies when the lines were in the water etc.

----------


## ootai

> So Mendy...In all seriousness, what does one do when off? You said you work 12's so you have 12 off. Do they have like a Lounge Movie type room where you can watch some shows or movies, chat with some mates? Do you have card night?  Bingo night? or do you just stay in your cabin until your next shift? 
> 
> I think some who have never been in your field would be interested. I used to be a deckhand when I was in my teens and we would do some 3 or 4 day Tuna charters but we would play poker, drink, watch movies when the lines were in the water etc.


In all seriousness JP not everyone is hyper like you some need sleep.
I reckon 12 hours work.
8 hours sleep probably interrupted by the sea's motion.
2 x 0.5 hours to eat 
5 minutes in the gym we won't count.
Then take pictures and up date TD for the tossers there don't leave much time left.

----------


## ootai

> Actually it was me that suggested that you had a CRT monitor.


Yes I know that bsnub but JP was/is the one who is calling me Mr CRT!

----------


## Mendip

A 12 hour shift is usually 13 to 14 hours. I get up for a midnight shift at 9:30pm, do an hour in the gym (not 5 minutes) and then usually arrive on shift around 11pm.

After shift, maybe at 1pm or so, I'll maybe send a couple of emails, update this bloody thread which doesn't write itself and do a few other odds and ends, and before you know it, it's 3pm and I want to get some sleep.

It's surprising how little spare time there is. The last thing I want to do is watch a movie after looking at screens all shift so I may try to read in bed but usually fall asleep straight away, I've managed about 12 pages of my Gerald Seymour book in 6 weeks, and I started the damn thing in Gothenburg last year.

There are movie nights, bingo nights and stuff, but they only really cater for the day shift and I'm always on nights... and I'm very anti-social these days.

We used to play cards and stuff after shift and when waiting on weather, but generally with wifi on boats and TVs in cabins, people are much less sociable, including myself. It's nice to get some private time when you're surrounded by people all the time.

----------


## hallelujah

> bingo nights


They're usually quite good places to get a shag, but not with a load of burly men, obviously.  :Smile:

----------


## beerlaodrinker

> Bugger. 
> 
> Good luck with that.


That used to happen to me with the mining gigs I wanted to work longer but there safety people said  no. I was in it for the money so it annoyed me

----------


## malmomike77

> Then take pictures and up date TD for the tossers there don't leave much time left.


He's got to school Mini Mendip, ensure she is eating the correct amount of nutritious British food, catch up on the pack news, which jobs the gardener has been avoiding and perhaps a bit of phone sex with Mrs Mendip to, pardon the pun, finish the day off  :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Yes I know that bsnub but JP was/is the one who is calling me Mr CRT!


I kind of like that nickname.  :Smile: 




> It's nice to get some private time when you're surrounded by people all the time.


That would be me. After my shift and some time in the gym, I would be a shut in.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

Thanks Mendy. Glad you can pass the time.  

Cheers

----------


## bsnub

> Thanks Mendy.


What are you thanking Mendy for?

Did you have too much time on your blow up toy in the pool? Dig into that top shelf Anejo? Both?  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> By the way, what does 'CRT' stand for?


Hope it isn't "Constantinoblian Rectifysation of Tirak ( Khashoggi style)

Take care, mate

Those Isaan women are smiling cut-throats

(with naam bla breath)

----------


## Mendip

> He's got to school Mini Mendip, ensure she is eating the correct amount of nutritious British food, catch up on the pack news, which jobs the gardener has been avoiding and perhaps a bit of phone sex with Mrs Mendip to, pardon the pun, finish the day off


Exactly... there was a major emergency yesterday and in addition to all the usual chores I had to re-set the daughter's Minecraft password cos she couldn't get in. The crisis was averted.

I've never got into this phone sex thing... how does it go? If I was to send the missus a picture of me privates she'd probably reply with a picture of a couple of Aspirin next to a glass of water.


By this stage in the voyage I had three main landmarks that I wanted to pass in the daytime. I guess one out of three ain't bad.

Around 8pm last night we passed through the Strait of Gibraltar and entered the Mediterranean Sea... well the Alboran Sea to be precise (in case Helge's looking).

And it was nearly bladdy dark.



Unfortunately the website advertising has covered up the place names on the map, but off the port side we had the Spanish mainland somewhere around Tarifa.



And off the starboard side we had Morocco. Having to keep driving on the right we were much closer to the Moroccan coastline. At it's narrowest point the Gibralter Strait is around 8 nautical miles wide.



And looking forward... Spain and Europe off the port bow and Morocco and Africa off the starboard bow.



And a glance behind us westwards at my first sunset of the voyage. This was well past my bedtime but I wanted to see the strait. I've passed through once before in the opposite direction but in the dead of night with bad weather. I slept though that passage.



And looking back at Africa... that is probably Tangier in the far distance on the horizon.



I went up to the bridge deck to see if I could get any better pics as we passed through the strait but it was just getting too dark.





And then I had to wait an hour or so for us to reach Gibraltar and I was knackered by now. This was right in the middle of my sleep time.

And of course it kept getting darker.



The Rock of Gibraltar was a bit of a disappointment to be honest and not nearly as big as I was expecting. Mind at least the Spaniards made a better job of lighting it up than the English did with The White Cliffs of Dover.



I guess it looked a little bit bigger zoomed in.

----------


## David48atTD

What do think would the action would be if you passed a refugee boat in distress?

----------


## Shutree

> which will herald the start of a very special day for me.


Did I miss it? Why was your day very special?

Also, I have only just realised that this Med cruise of yours will have you arriving in Istanbul right on time for the Istanbul F1 weekend.

----------


## Mendip

> What do think would the action would be if you passed a refugee boat in distress?


This was also a concern when passing through the English Channel and it is something you just hope doesn't happen.

I think (but not sure) that maritime law obliges you to deliver any refugees you take onboard to your home country, in our case Norway. The cost of this is obviously exorbitant and I would imagine that many ship's crew will turn a blind eye to any refugees boats they spot.

There's obviously the right thing to do and what happens in reality. I would imagine there was an immediate life or death situation then obviously this boat, along with most others, would take people onboard. Maybe there is some kind of agency that would take any refugees from the boat? If a boat full of refugees was just spotted but not in distress I'd imagine it would be reported to the relevant authorities but the vessel would continue on it's way. I'm not certain about any of this though.

One of the jobs this contractor is interested in while down this way is the Greenstream pipeline inspection... a 500km odd km long subsea pipeline that delivers gas from Libya to Sicily. I haven't done that project before but talking to those that have, refugees were a big problem close to Libya and the boat extra security personnel onboard (not armed, they say) and other measures such as welded fencing around the back deck were taken. In the event there were no attempted boardings but it wasn't a nice job and a few dead bodies were seen on the seabed.

----------


## malmomike77

have you been reading the local rag Mendip

Construction of a 3,800 km cable between Morocco and the UK taking shape

A 10.5 GW solar and wind power plant will be built in the Guelmim-Oued Noun region to supply the UK with clean energy via a 3,800 km long submarine cable, scheduled to be laid in 2025.

https://northafricapost.com/52734-construction-of-a-3800-km-cable-between-morocco-and-the-uk-taking-shape.html

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, I read about that somewhere else yesterday. I can't understand why the UK needs electricity from Morocco, but that cable will need a route survey and will need to be laid, so it's all good!





> Did I miss it? Why was your day very special?


It was a very special day for me Shutree and it lived up to all expectations. 

In the daylight as well!

I wonder if you recognise this?

----------


## malmomike77

> I can't understand why the UK needs electricity from Morocco


I think a long term play (Solar), wise imo. Having multiple sources, inc Norway (Hydro) & France (Nuc)  etc as back ups is sensible, particularly where France are concerned as you never know when their toys are going to get tossed around.   :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> I wonder if you recognise this?


Nope! That's nearly as good as one of my photos. Is there a bird in it?

Based upon your location, I'd guess the Algarve although I don't suppose that helped you with a special day.

----------


## Mendip

^ Here's a clue...

----------


## Shutree

First sight of Africa?

----------


## Mendip

Bladdy hell... I thought you were a teacher!

Last clue... I took the picture from the port side of our boat. That's the left side, for you landlubbers.

----------


## Shutree

Oh, 1805 and all that. I don't remember much, I was very young at the time.

----------


## Mendip

Yes! 

The site of The Battle of Trafalgar!

I have two heroes in my life... Charlie Harper and Admiral Horatio Nelson. This was like a pilgrimage to me and we had a beautiful day for it.

If we had sailed by on 21st October 1805, almost exactly 216 years ago to the day, we would have seen something like this.



Well, to be honest we passed by about 24 nautical miles south of the site of the battle, and the horizon is said to be around 16 nautical miles away at sea, but this would have been the scene just out of view over the horizon, in my photo above.

Nelson was outnumbered but attacked the combined fleet of French and Spanish vessels using two columns headed directly to the heart of the enemy. Nelson led the attack from the flagship, the HMS Victory. The genius was, once engaged amongst the enemy, the British could rake the enemy fleet from bow to stern with double-sided broadsides.



The faster rate of the British gunners helped to win the day, but it was hot work.



Tragically Nelson was shot by a French sharpshooter during the battle and eventually succumbed, but not before hearing that he had won the day. This victory prevented Napoleon from invading Old Blighty and established Britain as the dominant naval force for 100 years.



At the end of the battle, Britain hadn't lost a single ship, whereas the French and Spanish had lost twenty-two.



I've long been a fan of Nelson and have a superb model of his HMS Victory at home.



Nelson's full titles, as written on his coffin, are... 

_   The Most Noble Lord Horatio Nelson, Viscount and Baron Nelson, of the Nile and of Burnham Thorpe in the County of Norfolk, Baron Nelson of the Nile and of Hilborough in the said County, Knight of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath, Vice Admiral of the White Squadron of the Fleet, Commander in Chief of his Majesty's Ships and Vessels in the Mediterranean, Duke of Bronté in the Kingdom of Sicily, Knight Grand Cross of the Sicilian Order of St Ferdinand and of Merit, Member of the Ottoman Order of the Crescent, Knight Grand Commander of the Order of St Joachim._

What a man!



Now that I've got a retro bowling shirt I can dress like Charlie Harper, as I appreciate that I'd look like a bit of a twat dressing like Admiral Horatio Nelson when wandering around the bars of lower Sukhumvit, but Dan loves a bit of role play!



An uncanny likeness!

Yesterday I asked if we could make a small diversion to pass directly over the exact position of the Battle of Trafalgar, but as expected my request was denied. A shame because that would really have meant a lot to me, and it would have been just great to put the ROV down to find a couple of cannonballs.

But anyway, I had to settle for a selfie of myself almost at the site of the historic battle. 

This will take pride of place on the wall next to the HMS Victory at home!




The Battle of Trafalgar and the image of Horatio Nelson | Art UK

----------


## Shutree

> Nelson's full titles, as written on his coffin,


I don't remember the words but I was very impressed by his sarcophagus in the crypt of St. Paul's. There are a few interesting people laid to rest there.

----------


## Edmond

Cool to see the stars showing in your phone pics. 

Is there much light pollution from the ship when out in the middle of the ocean in the dead of night, or do you get views of the Milky Way in all its glory?

There are night sky map apps etc, that you just hold up your phone and they list out all the planets and stars etc that you can see. Pretty cool.

----------


## hallelujah

> Cool to see the stars showing in your phone pics. 
> 
> Is there much light pollution from the ship when out in the middle of the ocean in the dead of night, or do you get views of the Milky Way in all its glory?
> .


Does it get any more glorious than this?



 :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

It doesn't.  :Smile: 

Don't they have an ice cream version as well. *drool*


Probably available at Siamburi for 7 baht for a pack of 12.

----------


## beerlaodrinker

> Bladdy hell... I thought you were a teacher!
> 
> Last clue... I took the picture from the port side of our boat. That's the left side, for you landlubbers.


An easy way to remember left from right in the maritime  world is. There's No PORT . LEFT in the bottle  Once you dial that in then starboards a no brainer

----------


## beerlaodrinker

I'm a big fan of captain Cook personally. Admiral Nelson and Charlie Harper were ok .  But that captain Cook bloke got it right

----------


## Mendip

^^ And the port side light is red, same as the port in a bottle. Starboard lights are green.

----------


## nidhogg

One of the most amazing things of course is that to this day you can walk around HMS Victory, and pretty amazing it is too.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I'm a big fan of captain Cook personally. Admiral Nelson and Charlie Harper were ok . But that captain Cook bloke got it right


They're all a bunch of wankers these sailors. Look at that Popeye and those huge wrists.

Mendip's the same, but with peas and pies instead of spinach

----------


## bsnub

> The Battle of Trafalgar and the image of Horatio Nelson


A modern day movie would be epic.

----------


## cyrille

Do you mean ... a movie?

A modern day movie would be a bit odd.

----------


## malmomike77

> One of the most amazing things of course is that to this day you can walk around HMS Victory, and pretty amazing it is too.


Still an active ship of the Navy and flagship of the First Sea Lord.

----------


## cyrille

That _is_ really cool.

Launched in 1765.

----------


## bsnub

> Do you mean ... a movie?


Of course I do. How is that hard to understand?




> A modern day movie would be be a bit odd.


Oh god. Why do you insist on being a tedious twat? A modern movie true to history with all the production and cgi would be amazing if it recreated that battle.

----------


## malmomike77

There are 4 ships that are great to visit in the UK with different reasons

1. HMS Victory - Portsmouth
2. Cutty Sark - London
3. SS Great Britain - Bristol
4. HMS Belfast - London

Great stories and very atmospheric. Love these places, really enjoyed the USS Intrepid in New York, never did make it up Liberty.

----------


## cyrille

^^Yeah, you just used the wrong term.

Calm down.


You're pretty boring yourself btw - except when you're making a total wanker of yourself.

Which admittedly is quite often.  :Very Happy:

----------


## bsnub

::chitown::

----------


## cyrille

> A modern movie true to history with all the production and cgi would be amazing if it recreated that battle.


Agreed.

Tom Hardy should be in it.

----------


## cyrille

And that fat fuck from the Bet 365 adverts shouldn't be.

The world's best known bet in kampany.

----------


## malmomike77

^ are you feeling alright Cyrille?

----------


## cyrille

Actors in a 2022 nautical movie.

I think it's quite good fun to imagine who'd fit and who wouldn't.

I'd put Idris Elba in just to get newbie dave going 'Oh FFS!'

----------


## malmomike77

^ Cabin fever  :Very Happy:

----------


## Edmond

> One of the most amazing things of course is that to this day you can walk around HMS Victory, and pretty amazing it is too.


That is pretty damn amazing.

HMS Victory - Wikipedia


As Sir J. Clarkson would say:

"Brilliant (pause) British (very long pause) Enginnneeeeeering."


Or shipbuilding at least.

----------


## Topper

The way I was taught port from starboard is that both port and left have four letters in it.  Ya just gotta remember where the bow is when using it as a direction...

----------


## Saint Willy

I learned that Port is a red drink best left to the end of a meal.

----------


## Mendip

> Cool to see the stars showing in your phone pics. 
> 
> Is there much light pollution from the ship when out in the middle of the ocean in the dead of night, or do you get views of the Milky Way in all its glory?


We have to keep some lights on for safety but I guess the the light pollution will be less than on land.

To be honest the days of gazing at stars for navigation have long gone and we just use satnav on a computer now. I'm more interested in looking at one of Hal's Milky Ways, in all it's glory.





> They're all a bunch of wankers these sailors. Look at that Popeye and those huge wrists.
> 
> Mendip's the same, but with peas and pies instead of spinach


At least it keeps sailors fit. 

I haven't had peas or pies since I left home six weeks ago... what I'd give for a decent pie right now.





> One of the most amazing things of course is that  to this day you can walk around HMS Victory, and pretty amazing it is  too.


I still haven't made it to Portsmouth to see the HMS Victory but next time I visit the UK with the family it's a must do. The wife will love it!

... well, at least the daughter will be interested, anyway.


I found this video, which is OK as it doesn't have some moron giving a commentary.

It really gives a feel for how small these ships were, and how claustrophobic it must have been with a crew of 821. To think of being on one of the gun decks during battle, crammed with sailors and marines, full of smoke, the decks sloshing with blood, is a pretty awful thought. I guess I should stop 'moaning' about being on my boat.

----------


## Mendip

Yesterday we continued eastwards after passing through the Strait of Gibraltar. 

This voyage will eventually encompass almost the whole of Europe... starting in Norway to the north, skirting the western reaches of Europe close to Land's End and off the Spanish and Portuguese Atlantic coasts, then passing along the southern European border through the Mediterranean and finally will take us east of Ukraine. If I had joined the vessel a month earlier the work was off the northern tip of Norway, the northern-most part of mainland Europe, in The Barents Sea. That's pretty cool.

Yesterday morning we were off the Spanish Costa del Sol in the Alboran Sea.



We had really weird lighting yesterday and almost a flat calm. This would have been a nightmare in Nelson's day.



I went right up to the bow to take another picture...



... and could hear this kind of plopping, splashing noise. I had a look down and saw this...



There were three little dolphins riding on the bow wave. The plopping splashes were caused by the dolphins jumping and playing.






I kept quiet about this since we have a boat full of Norwegians and you know what they're like. At least there's no Faroese onboard at the moment, although there are a couple working for this company.

And on we continued...

----------


## ootai

> Yesterday we continued eastwards after passing through the Strait of Gibraltar. 
> 
> Yesterday morning we were off the Spanish Costa del Sol in the Alboran Sea.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I went right up to the bow to take another picture...


Mendip lucky you as you are now living the lifestyle of the rich and famous sailing the  Mediterranean unfortunately minus the babes in bikinis and a Chef.

Me being scared of heights would not be able to peer over the top of those railings to see the dolphins but I also wonder about how secure they are.
They look like they are on wheels and just a temporary arrangement, is that so they can be removed for helicopter landings and to get rid of pommy geos leaning over the edge?

----------


## Saint Willy

> Yesterday we continued eastwards after passing through the Strait of Gibraltar. 
> 
> This voyage will eventually encompass almost the whole of Europe... starting in Norway to the north, skirting the western reaches of Europe close to Land's End and off the Spanish and Portuguese Atlantic coasts, then passing along the southern European border through the Mediterranean and finally will take us east of Ukraine. If I had joined the vessel a month earlier the work was off the northern tip of Norway, the northern-most part of mainland Europe, in The Barents Sea. That's pretty cool.
> 
> Yesterday morning we were off the Spanish Costa del Sol in the Alboran Sea.
> 
> 
> 
> We had really weird lighting yesterday and almost a flat calm. This would have been a nightmare in Nelson's day.
> ...



that's pretty cool!

----------


## David48atTD

> Actors in a 2022 nautical movie.
> 
> I think it's quite good fun to imagine who'd fit and who wouldn't.
> 
> I'd put Idris Elba in just to get newbie dave going 'Oh FFS!'


Nope, wouldn't be me ... I have no idea who Idris Elba is.
Which is fair enough as he probably doesn't know who I am either  :Smile: 


Oh *cyrille* FFS!

----------


## David48atTD

> How about a little competition?
> 
> I'll find a prize for whoever guesses closest to when we dock at Istanbul... when the ship actually bumps against the quayside. Maybe a box of Turkish Delight or a Tommy Cooper fez? Or how about a pair of Turkish ear hair trimmers?
> 
> *I'll kick it off with 10:45am on Friday October 8th.*


mudcat:-  October 8, 7:09 AM

happynz:-  08/10/2021 at 06:45 AM

JPPR2:-  Oct 8 @ 9:38am                         

Shutree:-  14:15 hrs Istanbul local time on Friday, October 8th.                         

Saint willy:-  10:46am on on Friday October 8th

David48:-  07:10 pm on Friday October 8th

malmomike77:-  09.00 on the 8th

Headworx:-  16:37 on Friday

Joe 90:-  Friday, 8th at 12 noon

nidhogg:-  10:35am on Friday October 8th

Topper:-  Thursday night at 11:22 pm

helge:-  Oct 9 -0200  (helge, ever the optimist)   :Smile: 


If I missed anyone's guess, please add.

----------


## nidhogg

^ think mendip put his hat in the ring first?

Think he has about a 10 minute window.  555

----------


## nidhogg

> There are 4 ships that are great to visit in the UK with different reasons
> 
> 1. HMS Victory - Portsmouth
> 2. Cutty Sark - London
> 3. SS Great Britain - Bristol
> 4. HMS Belfast - London
> 
> Great stories and very atmospheric. Love these places, really enjoyed the USS Intrepid in New York, never did make it up Liberty.


Portsmouth is worth a day on its own.  It has HMS Victory, HMS Warrior and a couple of other boats, plus of course the remnants of the Mary Rose and the Royal Navy museum, all in one place.  

Amazing place.

----------


## Mendip

> ^ think mendip put his hat in the ring first?
> 
> Think he has about a 10 minute window.  555


It's a 10 minute port hole Nid, this is a nautical competition!

Yes Dave... you're not doing your chances any good by forgetting the judge!

But, in the interests of good relations I have decided to withdraw myself. No-on would believe me when I... I mean, if I won so I will be an impartial observer and judge.

I would like to point out however that in true Thai tradition I am completely open to bribery... and it doesn't have to be discreet.





> Me being scared of heights would not be able to peer over the top of those railings to see the dolphins but I also wonder about how secure they are.
> They look like they are on wheels and just a temporary arrangement, is that so they can be removed for helicopter landings and to get rid of pommy geos leaning over the edge?


There's no wheels Ootai... the barrier is firmly secured to the deck and operated by hydraulic rams to spread it outwards, flat in the event of a helicopter landing. My main issue when leaning over the side to take pictures is the constant worry of dropping my phone. Thankfully it hasn't happened yet.

In fact wheels are quite rare on boats in general. It's amazing how often land-based staff send out office chairs with wheels to the boat. The first thing we have to do is take off the wheels and put rubber pads on the chair legs to stop them sliding about in bad weather.

----------


## armstrong

It will never make it. A terrible accident will happen and everyone will die.

And then everyone will get mad at me when I bring up who is going to give me my prize on the Mendip memorial thread.

----------


## David48atTD

> Yes Dave... you're not doing your chances any good by forgetting the judge!


Your time is nested in my quote of your original post  :Smile: 

(I have gone back into it and highlighted it for those who hard of reading)

----------


## Edmond

> I learned that Port is a red drink best left to the end of a meal.


Ordered some ports at the end of a family meal a few years ago and the Polish immigrant waitress poured them as glasses of wine. 


We didn't educate her on the matter.

----------


## Mendip

> Your time is nested in my quote of your original post 
> 
> (I have gone back into it and highlighted it for those who hard of reading)


You're not doing yourself any favours pointing out that the judge is 'hard of reading'.

I find it very unlikely that we'll berth at 07:10 pm on Friday October 8th...

That is, if the boat makes it to Istanbul at all.

----------


## Shy Guava

> mudcat:-  October 8, 7:09 AM
> 
> happynz:-  08/10/2021 at 06:45 AM
> 
> JPPR2:-  Oct 8 @ 9:38am                         
> 
> Shutree:-  14:15 hrs Istanbul local time on Friday, October 8th.                         
> 
> Saint willy:-  10:46am on on Friday October 8th
> ...


Shy Guava was a late addition for 9AM on the 9th.

----------


## nidhogg

> Shy Guava was a late addition for 9AM on the 9th.


I am obviously way more OCD than I thought.  Lets try this:

Topper:- Thursday night at 11:22 pm
happynz:- 08/10/2021 at 06:45 AM
mudcat:- October 8, 7:09 AM
David48:- 07:10 pm on Friday October 8th
malmomike77:- 09.00 on the 8th
JPPR2:- Oct 8 @ 9:38am
nidhogg:- 10:35am on Friday October 8th
Mendip: I'll kick it off with 10:45am on Friday October 8th (included as the marker).
Saint willy:- 10:46am on on Friday October 8th
Joe 90:- Friday, 8th at 12 noon
Shutree:- 14:15 hrs Istanbul local time on Friday, October 8th.
Headworx:- 16:37 on Friday
helge:- Oct 9 -0200 (helge, ever the optimist)
Shy Guava 9.00am 9th.

----------


## David48atTD

> I am obviously way more OCD than I thought.  Lets try this:
> 
> Topper:- Thursday night at 11:22 pm
> happynz:- 08/10/2021 at 06:45 AM
> mudcat:- October 8, 7:09 AM
> 
> malmomike77:- 09.00 on the 8th
> JPPR2:- Oct 8 @ 9:38am
> nidhogg:- 10:35am on Friday October 8th
> ...


FTFY   :Smile: 

... but thanks for setting them in chronological order (almost)

Not that I'll win ... Mendip has told me already  :Flush:

----------


## nidhogg

^ Yup.  Second time.  Seem my reading is a bit off today.  

Cheers.

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks Nid, that's excellent. I've been a bit remiss here. We could do with you out here with organisational skills like that!

Next time I think I'll insist on 24 hour clock to make things easier.

My plan is to take a picture as we bump against the quayside in Istanbul and then take the exact time off the metadata... local time of course. This needs to be accurate as there's so entries bunched around the same times. I was planning on taking a fancy shot with my watch showing in the foreground, but my watch doesn't keep the best time and also I like to hold the phone two-handed for any over the side work. Just in case.


We're making good progress at a steady 11.5 knots and are now in the Mediterranean proper and passed Algiers this lunchtime.



I've taken to having a cup of tea on the helideck every morning around 7:30 to watch the sunrise. 

It was a lovely sunrise today off the coast of Algeria. Or for Ootai, a lovely crescent moon!



I hope the weather stays like this for the next few days.



The best time of the day.



To put your mind at rest Ootai, this is the guard around the helideck. It's very strong... could probably hold the weight of that monitor of yours.

----------


## malmomike77

I would like to amend my entry to 16.00 on Thursday 7th

----------


## Mendip

^ Tell Nid!  :Smile:

----------


## beerlaodrinker

Still an awesome thread this really enjoying it.whenni logged on this time I found myself thinking of a kiwi mate of mine who I have known for about 20 years or so.
My mate Greg's a Greaser. Meaning he's down in the engine room . Greg's hearing is shite and in fact a couple of times we've had to fight our way out of bars coz  people thought Greg was obnoxious and loud. He was neither but the volume definately went. We didn't give a fuck.

----------


## Edmond

In your 30 years, have you ever experienced a man overboard situation, Mendy?

----------


## Mendip

^ Not an official one, no.

An ROV guy once went over the side at Immingham but that was alcohol related and very much hushed up. 

He was lucky to survive and would have lost his job if management had found out.

----------


## armstrong

> I would like to amend my entry to 16.00 on Thursday 7th


Yeah I want to change mine as soon as he lands

----------


## armstrong

Topper:- Thursday night at 11:22 pm
happynz:- 08/10/2021 at 06:45 AM
mudcat:- October 8, 7:09 AM

malmomike77:- 09.00 on the 8th
JPPR2:- Oct 8 @ 9:38am
nidhogg:- 10:35am on Friday October 8th
Mendip: I'll kick it off with 10:45am on Friday October 8th (included as the marker).
Saint willy:- 10:46am on on Friday October 8th
Joe 90:- Friday, 8th at 12 noon
Shutree:- 14:15 hrs Istanbul local time on Friday, October 8th.
Headworx:- 16:37 on Friday
David48:- 07:10 pm on Friday October 8th
helge:- Oct 9 -0200 (helge, ever the optimist)
Shy Guava 9.00am 9th.

Armstrong: the boat sinks

----------


## malmomike77

> Yeah I want to change mine as soon as he lands


Nid!!!!!

----------


## reddog

Put my oar in the water here.
Friday 8th at 11.23 am

----------


## nidhogg

Dunno who died and made me thread skivvy.

here you go:

Thursday 7th
malmomike77:- 16.00 on Thursday 7th
Topper:- Thursday night at 11:22 pm

Friday 8th
happynz:- 08/10/2021 at 06:45 AM
mudcat:- October 8, 7:09 AM
JPPR2:- Oct 8 @ 9:38am
nidhogg:- 10:35am on Friday October 8th
Mendip: I'll kick it off with 10:45am on Friday October 8th (included as the marker).
Saint willy:- 10:46am on on Friday October 8th
reddog: Friday 8th at 11.23 am
Joe 90:- Friday, 8th at 12 noon
Shutree:- 14:15 hrs Istanbul local time on Friday, October 8th.
Headworx:- 16:37 on Friday
David48:- 07:10 pm on Friday October 8th

Saturday 9th
helge:- Oct 9 -0200 (helge, ever the optimist)
Shy Guava 9.00am 9th.


Armstrong: the boat sinks

----------


## malmomike77

Erm, Mendip can you ask the skipper to push forward on his little throttle, say 15 knots?

----------


## David48atTD

> Dunno who died and made me thread skivvy.


I think this was the defining moment ... 



> I am obviously way more OCD than I thought.

----------


## David48atTD

> Erm, Mendip can you ask the skipper to push forward on his little throttle, say 15 knots?


*Mendip*, belay that order ... 8/10 knots is a safer speed in these troubled times ... I got my _07:10 pm on Friday October 8th_ to consider

----------


## ootai

> Still an awesome thread this really enjoying it.whenni logged on this time I found myself thinking of a kiwi mate of mine who I have known for about 20 years or so.
> My mate Greg's a Greaser. Meaning he's down in the engine room . Greg's hearing is shite and in fact a couple of times we've had to fight our way out of bars coz  people thought Greg was obnoxious and loud. He was neither but the volume definately went. We didn't give a fuck.


My missus says the same about me. I tell her its not that I can't hear I just switch off cause I can't understand what the fuk they are talking about so I just don't listen.
And same as with you I couldn't give a fuck either.

----------


## nidhogg

> I think this was the defining moment ...


Fair point.  My thread bitch position is noted.

----------


## Looper

> I've long been a fan of Nelson and have a superb model of his HMS Victory at home.


 :Wank: 

The bloke that sold me my comparatively modest little HM Bark Endeavour, replete with tiny Captain Cook and Jake the Peg, said he was working on an HMS Victory and was going to get in touch.


 I might have to dig out his details.

----------


## beerlaodrinker

I had captain cooks ship the endeavour that was about the same size bought it on one of our  roadies to Vietnam. Had to sell it before moving back to oz they don't like wood products.  The attention to detail was amazing

----------


## ootai

> I had captain cooks ship the endeavour that was about the same size bought it on one of our  roadies to Vietnam. Had to sell it before moving back to oz they don't like wood products.  The attention to detail was amazing


Yes they don't like wooden stuff because of the risk of borers etc. but you can still bring that stuff in you just have to pay to have it spend time in quarantine and undergo fumigation.

----------


## Shutree

> There were three little dolphins riding on the bow wave. The plopping splashes were caused by the dolphins jumping and playing.


That is a great shot. There are worse places to work.

----------


## Joe 90

> I had captain cooks ship the endeavour that was about the same size bought it on one of our  roadies to Vietnam. Had to sell it before moving back to oz they don't like wood products.  The attention to detail was amazing


Thought I saw you on endeavouring to transport it...



 :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> because of the risk of borers etc.  and undergo fumigation.


Nail on head, TD could do with some fumigation to get rid of some borers.

----------


## Mendip

> That is a great shot. There are worse places to work.


Yes, there surely are.

The weather is warming up nicely now and I spend an hour on the helideck after my shift. I'm the only person on this night shift so it's just like being at home... I sit alone. No dogs or Ja Dong though.

The sea air has done my feet the world of good and they're looking better than ever!







> Cool to see the stars showing in your phone pics. 
> 
> Is there much light pollution from the ship when out in the middle of the ocean in the dead of night, or do you get views of the Milky Way in all its glory?


Here ya go... I don't know how the stars look from land but last night they looked pretty twinkly from the Med.







> Erm, Mendip can you ask the skipper to push forward on his little throttle, say 15 knots?


No can do I'm afraid... which is good because the sooner we get there, the sooner the new project gets started and I'll have to start earning my money. I'm in no rush.

The economic speed for this boat is around 7 knots and we're now doing a steady 11 knots. I guess there's a trade-off between fuel economy and taking an extra week to make the transit. The mobilisation will be a lump sum so it's in the contractor's interest to get on site soonest to start earning again. To get some idea of the cost of these transits, several years ago I transited back from Rio to to Aberdeen and the fuel cost was around $100,000 US... it was slightly further than this voyage but on a much smaller boat, so maybe the cost is comparable.

I barely want to mention this because I'd hate to be the cause of a flurry of new estimates, but I had a small ETA update from the skipper today. Put it this way, if I was a betting man I'd say that Headworx and Dave are the favourites just now, closely followed by Helge and Shy Guava. Dave may be be the red hot favourite...


I never realised how big Algeria is and we seem to have been off the Algerian coast for ages. I was a bit late for the sunrise this morning, I guess because as we head eastwards the sunrises are getting a bit earlier every day.

You really notice the subtle difference between each sunrise at sea. The boat seems to be listing slightly to starboard at the moment and I really hope that the engineers are just fukking about with the ballast... or else maybe Armstrong is in with a shout after all.



Just now we're passing the Algerian-Tunisian border and then onward between Tunisia and Sicily. Unless we suddenly get a spectacular eruption from Mount Etna I very much doubt we'll see any evidence of land until the Greek islands.

----------


## Saint Willy

bludger! 

And that sky pic doesnt really show any stars.

----------


## malmomike77

> The boat seems to be listing slightly to starboard at the moment


Asking for a friend, which side of the boat are you standing on

----------


## ootai

> Y
> 
> I was a bit late for the sunrise this morning, I guess because as we head eastwards the sunrises are getting a bit earlier every day.



Mendip I actually expected better than this from an educated fellow like yourself.
Sunrise is sunrise just set your clock forward an hour and the sunrise (according to you) will be late. 
Or better still throw your watch in your bag and just look out the window, sorry porthole to see when the sun is rising above the horizon.
have you ever thought about why they have at least 24 different time zones around the world?

So after not being very keen on doing the transit voyage what is your opinion now?
For me I am very envious.

----------


## David48atTD

> Asking for a friend, which side of the boat are you standing on


Aft

The backside  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> The backside


The one you are up, with your insider knowledge. :Smile:  I demand another comp to guess on !!!!

----------


## Mendip

> Asking for a friend, which side of the boat are you standing on


Tell your friend that if he look at the pic, he'll see I was standing dead centre.


^^^ Yeah, I should have worded it better Ootai. Relative to ship's time the sunrise is a little earlier every day... very noticeable during a long voyage heading eastwards. I set an alarm every day to remind me to go and watch the sunrise but was late today. So what's this time zone theory you have? Pray tell.

I barely want to answer your question for fear of being called a moaner... but you did ask. A transit is better than spending a trip in the Norwegian Sea, mainly because the boat is empty and I can suit myself regarding shifts. But it's still 12 hour shifts on a boat with nothing but sea to look at. Had I been allowed to work in the Norwegian office I'd be earning considerably more money and could have an after work pint or two every day.

There really is nothing to be envious of... the horizon is the horizon, whatever sea you are in. I guess it's like someone who's never flown being envious of a person going on a long haul flight. It may sound good until you do it.

----------


## malmomike77

> I guess it's like someone who's never flown being envious of a person going on a long haul flight. It may sound good until you do it.


Agreed, its hateful even if you turn left, then its only slightly less so. The older i get the more i dread it.

----------


## ootai

> I barely want to answer your question for fear of being called a moaner... but you did ask. A transit is better than spending a trip in the Norwegian Sea, mainly because the boat is empty and I can suit myself regarding shifts. But it's still 12 hour shifts on a boat with nothing but sea to look at. Had I been allowed to work in the Norwegian office I'd be earning considerably more money and could have an after work pint or two every day.


I can't believe that you would be paid less being on a boat versus in an office. I assume you are doing the same work regardless of where you are  actually sitting.
If you were on land in Norway working in the office there would you have your meals being cooked for you, your laundry being done, your toes being looked after etc.?
I would consider being on the boat the equivalent of being on-site at a mine versus being in the city in an office, on-site would be more pay.

----------


## cyrille

> The older i get the more i dread it.


Get yourself a scooter and make a few trips in Thailand.

That should cure anyone's fear of flying.

I'm bricking myself doing 60 and two schoolgirls fly past doing 95+, ponytails in the slipstream.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Mendip

^^ It doesn't matter what you believe or assume Ootai, that's the way it is. Brexit is costing me about 20% a day just now.

----------


## beerlaodrinker

> Thought I saw you on endeavouring to transport it...
> 
> Attachment 76727


Yes that was me.

----------


## malmomike77

> Get yourself a scooter and make a few trips in Thailand.


I have done some 200km trips on scooters in Thailand; wind (not mine), passing lorries and wet roads shit me up.




> That should cure anyone's fear of flying.


I don't fear flying, just dread the confined monotony of it. Fear i have experienced 3 times flying none on a commercial aircraft

----------


## malmomike77

Anyway, Mendip as Insider Dave has all but stitched up the Nople arrival draw have you got another...fairer one  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yeah, it's the monotony.

I spend half my life looking forward to getting off a boat... and the other half in Korat!  :Smile: 

I don't know what to do about the competition... I feel a bit guilty in that my estimate was based on very badly measured distances using my calibrated plastic spoon and listening to Filipino rumours... and everyone followed me.

Had I asked the skipper a few days ago it could have been an exciting finish with everyone in with a chance. 

What to do?

----------


## malmomike77

> What to do?


Disqualify Insider Dave and start a new poll on the date time when you embarrassingly find yourself with a hard-on in that Turkish Bath.  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

Sink the ship Mendip.

----------


## Mendip

^ I won't be getting to any Turkish baths... it's not my kind of thing anyway.

And as for sinking the boat Armstrong, I can see a very obvious downside to that and it does seem a bit drastic just so you can win a pair of Turkish ear hair trimmers (which would most probably be my old pair of toe nail clippers anyway).

----------


## malmomike77

Can we run a sweepstake on your weight by the time you leave the boat, before and after scales shots but minus the Looperesque reveal please.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

Moaner.’you should have voted to stay then.

----------


## Mendip

^ Ya see, this is the problem. I was asked a question, avoided the real answer, asked a second time, answered neutrally, and then get labelled a 'moaner'.

But as you have yet again accused me of this... if I was a true remoaner, I, along with many others who have been very severely financially impacted by Brexit (yes, an actual real consequence... not something that may happen in the future), could have mentioned that so far it has cost me around 30 to 40k Sterling (but it's a gift that keeps on giving of course), has all but destroyed the work avenues produced by 30 years of carefully nurtured contacts and added maybe five years to my working life. But I resisted saying that, while all I hear from Brexiteers is 'how things will be so much better in the future', while things get progressively worse.

I have still yet to hear about a single person who has benefited from Brexit, apart from that pathological liar Boris Johnson and the band of hopeless toffs hanging on to his shirt tails, and of course the rubber dinghy salesmen of Calais. Their business is booming. Cos that's the thing... usually if things don't go the way you hoped, such as a general election, you accept that many will be better off due to the way they voted and that's the way it goes; ya win some, lose some. But everyone loses with Brexit... unless of course there's a single person on TD who can prove me otherwise, who has actually benefited in the here and now... surely there must be at least one person? And I don't mean someone who says, 'yeah, now one day I'm gonna get a better job and make loads of money'... 

Oh, I guess there is one good thing about Brexit... by being confined to the boat instead of my usual cushy Autumn office number I've lost a truckload of weight and I haven't had a drink in over six weeks. Maybe I should put up my liver in the 'Who's actually benefited from Brexit' thread. Where is that thread, I wonder?

That is what I could have said, and if I sound a tad touchy tonight it's because since having my Pfizer jab last week I've had a bastard headache and I now have to spend 12 hours in front of the computer and we're passing through the Strait of Sicily into 20 knot winds and almost beam on to 2 metre seas. It doesn't sound much but the angle is all wrong and boat's moving all over the place.

----------


## Saint Willy

> if I sound a tad touchy tonight it's because since having my Pfizer jab last week I've had a bastard headache and I now have to spend 12 hours in front of the computer and we're passing through the Strait of Sicily into 20 knot winds and almost beam on to 2 metre seas. It doesn't sound much but the angle is all wrong and boat's moving all over the place.


As I said, moaner! 

 ::doglol::

----------


## Mendip

^ You goaded me into it!  :Smile: 

I forgot to mention there was a fire drill yesterday right in the middle of my sleep... and I'm knackered as well.

----------


## ootai

> ^ You goaded me into it! 
> 
> I forgot to mention there was a fire drill yesterday right in the middle of my sleep... and I'm knackered as well.



Maybe HSE had a point about 12 weeks being too long on a boat especially for the elderly.

----------


## Topper

> Maybe HSE had a point about 12 weeks being too long on a boat especially for the elderly.


That gave me a chuckle....

----------


## Shutree

> who has actually benefited in the here and now... surely there must be at least one person?


The deal is done, life goes on, I'm staying out of the opinions, they serve no useful purpose.

To address your question directly, I have seen no benefit, nor have my siblings resident in UK. My children and their cousins all resident in the UK report having seen no benefits, nor have any of my old friends still resident in UK.

One old friend credits Brexit with being the driver for him to move his retirement out of Cornwall. He recently arrived in Penang.

This addresses but does not answer your question. My only answer is that I don't know of anyone who has gained a tangible benefit so far.

----------


## OhOh

> My children and their cousins all resident in the UK report having seen no benefits,


One of my sons has moved from successfully arranging "live music events" in many European cities to online events.

Apparently people pay to stream them. Excellent numbers, he says. 

Enough confidence to plan his and his long-term girlfriend's wedding, next year.

----------


## Saint Willy

> One of my sons has moved from successfully arranging "live music events" in many European cities to online events.
> 
> Apparently people pay to stream them. Excellent numbers, he says. 
> 
> Enough confidence to plan his and his long-term girlfriend's wedding, next year.



And the connection to Brexit?

----------


## OhOh

> And the connection to Brexit?


Changed delivery after.

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ Yeah, you're quite right Shutree. Just have to adapt.





> Maybe HSE had a point about 12 weeks being too long on a boat especially for the elderly.


Hmmmph... 

But despite only 4 hours sleep I remain upbeat and my usual positive self, although with a lot of spare time tonight I did become a bit melancholic and worked out that if I live to be 70, this trip will be 1.5% of my remaining life. It makes you think.

Anyway, Mike77 mentioned that he wanted another competition, and I do have one. When I send 'Greens' I like to include a reppo comment and it would be just great to sometimes add a 'Smiley Face'. I've seen other people do this, but I get no Smiley toolbar option when I make a reppo comment. How can I do this? I would love to know... for a free Green!

I have spare time tonight as I'm a bit stuck and need some files from the office, which I will have to wait until daytime to get someone to email out to me. In the meantime I thought I'd mention why we're going to the Black Sea.

There's been lots of news lately about the controversial Nord Stream 2 pipeline which will enable Russia to export gas to Europe (Germany) avoiding transit through Ukraine. 

In 2020 Russia's Gazprom began exporting gas through the Turkstream pipeline from Krasnodar in Russia, across the Black Sea, to Kiyiköy in Turkey. It was no accident that the route of this pipeline skirted Ukraine's southern boundary of the Black Sea without encroaching on it, which would have been more direct. The new Turkstream pipeline is routed to the west of the older Bluestream pipeline, also across the Black Sea from Krasnodar to Samsun in Turkey. I worked on a Blue Stream inspection project back in 2006.



And a bit of advertising gumpf...

TurkStream

We will be inspecting the entire offshore length of Turkstream from approximately 16 metres water depth at either landfall, which is the minimum water depth we can work in.  The offshore length is approximately 924 kilometres. The system comprises two parallel 32in gas pipelines, thereby giving us a grand total of 1848km of pipeline to inspect. For those that don't know, subsea pipelines are constructed from 12 metre pipe lengths (field lengths), each one welded to the next at what is termed a field joint. We have to inspect and log every single field joint. The water depth across the Black Sea goes down to a maximum of around 2200 metres, which with such a long length of umbilical out will severely restrict ROV survey speed. This, along with a few other considerations is why the project is scheduled to take around 8 weeks. It isn't as simple as heading across to Russia on one pipeline and then returning on the other. 

The other considerations include the need to survey landfall approach areas in the up-slope direction, and also to deal with Russian immigration officials (stamped in and out) as efficiently as possible... and these guys could teach the Thais a thing or two. There will also be a couple of crew changes to fit in... there will be one at 2 weeks, another at 6 weeks and the last at the end of the project. I plan to get meself off this damn boat at the six week crew change scheduled for November 20th. Then a trip to the UK, a final Pfizer shot and back home without the need for ASQ. What can possibly go wrong!

Anyway, so that's the job. It's not a great one, but inspection work is the bread and butter and although monotonous is always there... through thick or thin. The Black Sea is particularly boring work as below 150 metres water depth the water is anoxic and completely devoid of life. The seabed is dead and lifeless and comprises a foul smelling sulfurous sludge, so there won't even be any exotic deep water fish to distract ourselves with. The ROV needs hosing down every time it comes back to deck.

But mustn't grumble!  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

You just gotta type the code underneath the smiley.

----------


## Mendip

^ Aah, thanks.

Green with Smiley owed... can't do it just now!

----------


## malmomike77

> I, along with many others who have been very severely financially impacted by Brexit (yes, an actual real consequence... not something that may happen in the future), could have mentioned that so far it has cost me around 30 to 40k Sterling (but it's a gift that keeps on giving of course), has all but destroyed the work avenues produced by 30 years of carefully nurtured contacts and added maybe five years to my working life.


OK Mendip i'll bite.

You keep complaining about Brexit but it was voted for by a majority of those able to vote in the UK. Now unless i have missed something you didn't qualify on that account. I may also have this wrong too, but you keep saying you are out of pocket as a result of Brexit but just how much tax have you been paying into the UK over the last 15-20 years or more with your offshore lifestyle and therefore just why do you think the UK owes you anything?  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Well, you're correct, the UK doesn't owe me anything but I do pay both personal and corporation tax to the UK every year and I am eligible to vote. I have payed National Insurance throughout also. This so called 'offshore lifestyle' doesn't mean I have no liabilities and pay no tax. Those days have long gone.

But anyway, it's not a big deal... I'll adapt and gradually sever ties. I need to keep working.

I'm currently looking at moving my company elsewhere and that corporation and much of the personal tax liability will move with the company.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^ Will we see you appearing the a future version of the Pandora Papers  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm quite a moral person, to be honest. I was trying to think of some witty response but nothing came to me.

Yeah, I have to accept things, adapt and move on. I'll say no more about it.

But fukk me it's made my life difficult.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> But fukk me it's made my life difficult.


I believe the expression you are searching for is character building.

So when you get back to the UK how long are you planning on there? I imagine it will be great to see your Mum after so long. There should be new season cider ready, cheddar, Sunday roasts and you may even be able to update your wardrobe. The paucity of delivery drivers may mean choice is limited for items to take back to mini Mendip and your good Lady but welcome to austerity Britain, there's a real wartime spirit  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Maybe a couple of weeks in the UK. I saw my mum for two days last September then not since the Christmas before that. She's 85 and it's too long to be away and I know she's suffered from the isolation but it's been extraordinary times. I would like to stay longer but that's the problem with a daughter in one continent and an elderly mother in another... I'm drawn in two directions and it's impossible to keep everyone happy, but the daughter has to take priority.

If 'Mini Mendip' was just a bit older I'd stay longer in the UK and fly her over for Christmas, but at 10 I think she's just a little bit young to fly long haul on her own, especially with all the Covid measures that have to be taken. It doesn't help that I have her UK passport in my bag, either. The wife doesn't seem interested in visiting the UK any more... it's too cold of course. 

I've already been buying stuff online and there should be quite some pile waiting at my mum's place. My wardrobe is fine thanks, but I have treated meself to another pair of nice sandals that were in a sale.

After another 6 weeks on here I'll be very ready for 2 weeks of cider, cheese and pies!

----------


## Joe 90

> but I have treated meself to another pair of nice sandals that were in a sale.


 ::spin::

----------


## David48atTD

If I may?

Partly 'on topic' ...

----------


## malmomike77

> pies!


Yes. Pies a distinctly Northern thing. I have had some time working away recently and Pie Shops are a thing ooop there. They have queues of people waiting for them to open and i have discovered that a hot pork and black pudding pie is one of the finest things i have eaten, aside from the incident of having the hot liquid jelly burst out as i bit into it and dribble down me front.

----------


## David48atTD

> After another 6 weeks on here I'll be very ready for 2 weeks of cider, cheese and pies!


6 weeks to drop 6 lbs ... 2 weeks to find them again?

----------


## mudcat

Reminds me of the comeback I used with admin staff who asked when I returned from vacation "Did you lose weight?"
My response was invariably "No, did you find some?"

----------


## armstrong

Is this take a shot at Mendip week or what?  This is what happens when people share I guess..

----------


## malmomike77

^ its all meant in jest Armstrong, no one is being malicious

----------


## Stumpy

> but I have treated meself to another pair of nice sandals that were in a sale.


Goodness. Another set of how did you put it "Proper dress up sandals" for which the audience reduced them to simple Jesus slippers and wouldn't be caught out in public in them. .... :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I took a nice picture of Sicily this morning but now I'm reconsidering posting it after that!  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

^  Post away ... I've never seen the place!




> Is this take a shot at Mendip week or what?  This is what happens when people share I guess..


No Gov ... just a bit of honest fun ... we love Mendy.

What's so great about him is that he leads with his chin ... but doesn't have a glass jaw.

Respect  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> but I have treated meself to another pair of nice sandals that were in a sale.


*Noooooooo!*  :Aargh4:

----------


## Stumpy

> ^ I took a nice picture of Sicily this morning but now I'm reconsidering posting it after that!


OK...I take it back...until I see pictures..... :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

We've been passing through the Sicily Strait all morning and will later pass through the Malta Channel, but I'll be asleep for that. I'm still knackered after having my sleep disturbed yesterday by a bladdy fire drill.



I may have exaggerated slightly about the quality of my picture of Sicily. I managed to get this shot off the port side of the boat but JP's ancestral homeland was about 20 nautical miles beyond the horizon.

But still, you get the idea.



While taking the pics of Sicily I again heard a splashing sound coming from the bows... so I walked up...



And soon saw the culprits.



There must have been about ten of 'em this time, a whole pod riding on the bow wave and having a whale of a time!



You can see that one in the middle's blow hole.



I risked life and limb and lent out for'ard to get a couple of action shots... such is my dedication to this thread.





I took another video but they've cut the wifi right back and it's taking hours to upload to You Tube so I'll have to post it tomorrow.

----------


## David48atTD

^  Was the harpoon close by?

----------


## ootai

Mendip
I see in a previous post of yours about the upcoming project, which I really enjoyed reading by the way, I see you said the project is expected to last 8 weeks but you are planning on leaving the boat after 6 weeks.
I understand you are probably ready to jump ship now let alone in 6 weeks time but does that mean someone else takes over from you mid project?
Were you at all tempted to stay for the full duration of the project or is the timing all wrong for you to get home for Christmas?
One last question, do you wear a life vest when you hang over the front (bow) of the boat to take those pictures?  If you don't then you are crazier than I originally thought.

----------


## Stumpy

> I may have exaggerated slightly about the quality of my picture of Sicily. I managed to get this shot off the port side of the boat but JP's ancestral homeland was about 20 nautical miles beyond the horizon.
> 
> But still, you get the idea.


Well God Bless you Mendy and your new sandals.... it's the thought that counts.... :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> I've seen other people do this, but I get no Smiley toolbar option when I make a reppo comment. How can I do this? I would love to know... for a free Green!


type : kma : or: tosser1 : without the spaces

----------


## Edmond

> see that one in the middle's blow hole


Easy Mendo, you'll be 'renewing your passport' soon enough bud.

----------


## Edmond

Do pods of dolphins usually stay around their own patch of sea, or do they roam around all over the shop as they see fit? country to country blowholing it up.

Is there like a head dolphin, like in a troop of monkeys, that dictates where they go to?

Do pods intermingle round the water cooler, or are there dolphin pod wars?


I appreciate I'm possibly asking the wrong person, a geologist, and not one of the Scandi forum members that clubs and hacks them to death for shits and giggles.  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

Re: smileys, I've memorized  ::chitown::  and  :spam2:  and of course  :Smile:  and  :Very Happy: 

Still a good thread, Mendy. Have a doner kebab for me when you dock in Istanbul.

----------


## Joe 90

A proper Turkish kebab!!!
Hmmm, dont post a pic you lucky bastard :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

Lots of questions today...




> Mendip
> I see you said the project is expected to last 8 weeks but you are planning on leaving the boat after 6 weeks... does that mean someone else takes over from you mid project?
> Were you at all tempted to stay for the full duration of the project or is the timing all wrong for you to get home for Christmas?
> One last question, do you wear a life vest when you hang over the front (bow) of the boat to take those pictures?  If you don't then you are crazier than I originally thought.


Yes, someone will replace me. There will be four geos/inspection engineers on for the next project and there will be a lot of change-outs over the eight weeks. I was originally planning to stay for the entire project, but as much as I'd like to, I think another eight weeks will be too much. Another six weeks is too much to be honest. Supposing the project goes faster than anticipated and there's just a few days left after the November 20th crew change then I'll stay no problem. But there is also the follow on job in the Adriatic that will add another week or so... and maybe they get the Greenstream work that will keep the boat down here until the end of the year. You've gotta say 'enough' at some point.

I did promise my daughter I'd be home for Christmas so have mentally planned to stop work by late November, although if ASQ stops being an issue I guess I could work a little longer, so long as my head holds out.

No Ootai, I don't wear a life vest. I have an admission to make... I don't really hang over the bow of the boat to take the dolphin pictures, I said that to make the thread more exciting. I just hold my phone over the side.





> Do pods of dolphins usually stay around their own patch of sea, or do they roam around all over the shop as they see fit? country to country blowholing it up.
> 
> Is there like a head dolphin, like in a troop of monkeys, that dictates where they go to?
> 
> Do pods intermingle round the water cooler, or are there dolphin pod wars?
> 
> I appreciate I'm possibly asking the wrong person, a geologist, and not one of the Scandi forum members that clubs and hacks them to death for shits and giggles.



As you say, I'm a geologist, not an expert in cetacean behaviour, but I can try to answer your questions.

I would say that dolphins probably hang around 'their own patch of sea', but maybe they do roam around all over. To be honest it's very hard to tell as they all look the same.

Most social animals tend to have a leader and I guess that dolphins are no different and probably have a 'head dolphin', but maybe not, maybe they're a bit more communist like the Chinese. But again, they all look the same so it would be very hard to tell which one's the boss.

What is this 'water cooler' you speak of? We have one in the mess that also makes ice but I've never seen any dolphins on board.

Anyway, the video I took yesterday finally uploaded and here are a few more for you.








> type : kma : or: tosser1 : without the spaces


I can't help but feel that you're setting me up... but when I'm allowed to send you another green I'll try this out.





> Well God Bless you Mendy and your new sandals.... it's the thought that counts....


Not only a thought mate, I was still up yesterday afternoon when we passed through the Malta Channel which brought us into closer proximity to Sicily...



And there it is... the faintest outline of land on the horizon, off to the port.

This may well have been the same view your forefathers had when they first glimpsed Europe as they crossed the Med.



This was interesting as they say that the horizon at sea is around 12 nautical miles away due to the geometry of the curvature of the earth. We were just under 19 nautical miles from the Sicilian coast but could see the mountains.



See how there's a tuft of clouds clutching to the land... that's always a good indicator.

----------


## Edmond

I was watching a video yesterday about the Straight of Hormuz.

This video, to be precise. 




And how controlling it pretty much controls the global economy. Which is quite something for a 21Nm stretch of water.

Strait of Hormuz - Wikipedia

Did you ever work on the ships or rigs there?

----------


## Topper

This is simply the best thread I've read here.  Thanks, Mendip. When you get home, the SPAM is on me.

----------


## Saint Willy

> When you get home, the SPAM is on me.


 :rofl: 

For a month? for a year? for a lifetime? 

Ya gotta include the T&Cs on these offers.

----------


## Mendip

^ Exactly. If I'm in for a lifetime's supply of free SPAM I can jump off this damn boat at Istanbul...

How much SPAM Topper?





> Did you ever work on the ships or rigs there?


No, never worked in the Middle East, although I'm starting to look at different possibilities for the future.


As I started my shift tonight I found that we are just off the southern tip of Greece, having crossed the Ionian Sea.



We'll soon start threading our way through the Greek islands on our way to the Dardanelles and I hope to get a few nice photos once it gets light. 

The next day should bring back a few memories of a Greek island hopping holiday I had many years ago, but without the enjoyable bits.

----------


## katie23

^^^what kind of SPAM? SPAM lite, less sodium, with turkey, with cheese, with jalapeño, etc. 

And what kind of preparation? There's SPAM fried rice, S-burrito, S-spring rolls, S-burger, S-sushi... the list goes on and on...  :Very Happy: 

 :spam2: 

Edit: Mendip just posted. Good morning, mendy!

Edit2: that map ^ just shows how trafficky it is in that area. Crazy busy (to a landlubber like me).

Btw, mendy, in one of your maps, there was this cluster of circles (green or red?) on the upper right portion. What were those? That was when you were still in Norway. @Edmond also asked about it (I think) and I don't know if it got answered.

----------


## Saint Willy

^ There seems to be a heck of a lot of shipping heading up to mainland Europe there, is that Durres or Corfu?

----------


## Mendip

^^ Morning Katie!

 The circles or dots are anchored vessels. You can see clusters of them occur around ports.

^ Most of the shipping heading up to the northwest seems to be bypassing Corfu and heading on up into the Adriatic. 

We'll be following the main stream of traffic to the northeast heading up to the Dardanelles and on to Istanbul and the Black Sea.

----------


## katie23

^thanks, question answered.

I've been on overnight ferries here in PH. During the last few hours, most of us passengers were gathered at the deck or windows, just eager to dock. Hard to imagine the case for seafarers (and submariners), staring at the sea for weeks or months on end. I have friends/ colleagues who have seafarers in their family. Respect.

Cheers and have a great day (or night)!  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> crossed the Ionian Sea


Sounds electrifying.

----------


## Mendip

^ I slept through most of it.

And here is the southern tip of mainland Greece... what I have just learnt is the Mani peninsular.



I went up for a chat with Lui, our nightshift cook and noticed that he's got the galley port holes open for some ventilation. This is a sure sign we're into good weather... you'll rarely see this in the North Sea.



And another bit of excitement tonight... the ship's time has been advanced an hour to GMT+3, Turkish time. This is where my genius of staying on night shift pays dividends. A ship's time always changes in the early hours... so if you know the time will go forward, get yerself on night shift and you'll get one shift an hour shorter! If I was to stay onboard for the return transit to Norway I'd get on day shift rapido.

Remember my motto... _Transiting east, get on night shift but transiting west, get on day shift_. I've picked up a thing or two in 30 years of doing this shit.

And another bonus... I've just checked and Turkey doesn't put the clocks back at the end of the month, there's no daylight saving so I'm good for the rest of the trip.



This also explained a small mystery to me. Earlier I was Whatsapping with the daughter when I realised it was after 8:30am in Korat and she should have been logged on for her online lessons. I gave her a mild bollocking for being late (only mild because I love messaging with her) but she insisted that she still had another 30 minutes to go. Now it's all become clear.


There's been another strange happening. As part of this ridiculous Management of Change that was implemented to allow me to stay on board for a long trip, I was instructed to take a couple of days off. I said yeah sure, but ignored it... I'm here to earn money. But then I read the email again and it said to charge my days off to both projects... the one I'm finishing and the one I'm about to start! Yes... CHARGE! I didn't need telling a third time... so tonight I finished up at a suitable stage, have written a long handover and am backing up my work to a hard drive to be hand carried back to the office in Haugesund by a returning crew member. I am starting to like the HR department after all!

This gives me unlimited time for this thread but mainly for my Christmas shopping... which I will be paid to do! I've already got the daughter another Monopoly board (which I love because every time one of us gets the Chance card, 'Advance to Trafalgar Square' I can drone on to her about Nelson and the HMS Victory. I've also got her a Cribbage set... I used to love playing Cribbage but have had no-one to play with for years. The dogs are hopeless. I'm already really looking forward to teaching her Cribbage down by the pond in the evenings.

----------


## marcusb

Cribbage will be a great game for the two of you.   Good math skills and strategy skills for mini Mendy too.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, that's what I'm thinking... and it's a pretty short game as well and doesn't take the whole night... unless you get in the zone and have a session of course.

In many ways I don't want the daughter to grow up, but as she gets older she's turning into a good little buddy and makes good company. My years of training her in cutting sarcasm and cynicism are now paying off and she comes out with some really good stuff!

----------


## happynz

Welcome to GMT+3.

----------


## Headworx

> I'm already really looking forward to teaching her Cribbage down by the pond in the evenings.


10 Baht a point, double that for a Skunk, quadruple that for a double Skunk. Play your cards right and she'll owe you big money  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Good thinking HW.

I've also got her a set of dominoes... plenty of opportunity to claw back some of the pocket money she gouges out of me!  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

^she may become a professional domino artist. This lady has 3.35M subs on YT and the vid has 23M views!

Like many popular youtubers, she has her own merch. Talented young lady - looks like she's Chinese American (or in general, Asian American).

----------


## Mendip

^ I instantly got 'YT' but 'subs' and 'merch' took a while.

You make me feel ever so old when you write these words, Katie.

I got my daughter the proper dominoes with dots on but maybe I should get her a few of these as well? I'd certainly prefer her to play with dominoes than start playing Connect 4.





> Welcome to GMT+3.


Thank you HNZ, it's good to be here!


During the night we rounded the Peloponnese peninsular without incident, and I think by avoiding foundering on the rocks at Cape Maleas, Armstrong's best opportunity of winning the competition has gone. 

One thing for sure... travelling by Istanbul by boat rather than flying has been good for my geography.



At first light I looked back at the Peloponnese peninsular.



I walked up to the bows and you can see that we're now heading well north of east.



But a nice sunrise, nonetheless!

----------


## nidhogg

> During the night we rounded the Peloponnese peninsular


Jesus.  Some history there.  Home of Sparta and Corinth.  Site of the Peloponnesian war (basically Athens versus Sparta, plus allies on both sides).

Awesome.

----------


## malmomike77

> I've also got her a Cribbage set.


Love crib too. I was in our local league for 8 years and paired up with the neighbour, a veritable fish where beer was concerned. Always a Thursday night and i had to make sure i was the driver if i had a heavy workload the following day. We came second in the pair knockout league finals in our first year, god knows how as we were pretty merry by the end. Always had sandwiches or hot food provided and you soon developed favourite away pubs. Some right weird teams, some pubs had the feel of "Keep Off The Moors" from American Werewolf in London.

----------


## malmomike77

oops.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - I have younger colleagues & hike mates who are millenials - don't worry, I sometimes feel jurassic when I'm with them.  :Very Happy:  The subs (subscribers) and merch (merchandise), I just got those terms from watching YT.

Re: those creative domino sets, I think it's a good thing, but start with a small set to see if she'll like it. I think it's good - it will teach her critical thinking & creative skills, psychomotor skills and patience. Somehow a bit similar to picture puzzles, or even rubix cubes. Computer games also teach strategy (specially those online role playing games, RPG) but they just add to screen time of kids. I have nephews/ nieces  (teens) who are more into RPGs and more computer-savvy than me. Such is life.  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> But a nice sunrise, nonetheless!


Given you have put your clock forward an hour was the sunrise early or late?  Or maybe it was on time?

----------


## happynz

> During the night we rounded the Peloponnese peninsular without incident, and I think by avoiding foundering on the rocks at Cape Maleas, Armstrong's best opportunity of winning the competition has gone.


Tomorrow is 08 October. I have you docking at 06:45. C'mon! Get a move on.

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> During the night we rounded the Peloponnese peninsular without incident,


My brother is retired and has a place on the Peloponnese near Corinth. Did you see him? LOL
If I knew you were going that way, I would have told him to wave to you :Smile:  

very interesting Thread , I am enjoying it Mak Mak.

----------


## Mendip

> Given you have put your clock forward an hour was the sunrise early or late?  Or maybe it was on time?


It was bang on time Ootai.

 :34: 





> My brother is retired and has a place on the Peloponnese near Corinth. Did you see him? LOL
> If I knew you were going that way, I would have told him to wave to you


BB, there was an old hairy guy, five O'clock shadow, with a slight paunch sat up on the hill. He was wearing a sweat-stained white singlet with black trousers held up by braces and had a little flat cap on his head... smoking a cheroot and drinking a nip of ouzo. 

Could that have been him?


I've been getting the impression that some people think I'm on a leisure cruise out here. Well, far from it. 

The weather's been getting progressively worse since Sicily and yesterday we were sailing into a brisk nor'easterly coming in from central Asia. We had a chilly 21 degrees (we can expect 15 degrees at Istanbul) and the helideck was brass monkeys. I had to find some shelter for my afternoon snooze.

I settled down on a small deck just aft of the accommodation block.



And very nice it was too... until a bladdy AB decided to start flushing with his pressure hose on the deck above. They do this to wash the salt off the superstructure but I don't see why they can't do it in the morning?



After receiving a constant stream of spray I retreated under the deck in an attempt to stay dry...



And he bladdy well started spraying down the stairwell.



I got pretty well soaked, as did my sandals and socks.



But don't worry, it'll take more than that to get me moaning. All was well in the end!

But it certainly ain't a holiday.



While I had my footwear off I checked out my toes. Don't worry, I'll spare you a view of my two poor big toes, but what I found interesting was that my good toes clearly show the day I left Isaan nearly seven weeks ago. It's written in my nails!



But anyway, yesterday afternoon we were entering the Aegean Sea and started threading our way between the Greek islands. There seems to be hundreds of them and I never realised just how many there are.

While I was trying to have a snooze we were passing Kythnos off our starboard side.



And there's Kea off to port. We bisected the two islands.



Just before I called it a day we were about to clear Kythnos' northern tip.



There were bladdy yachtsmen getting in the way everywhere... the cyclists of the seas.



And I left it here... 



... with a lovely view of Kythnos off to starboard...



And Kea off to port...



A great thing about being on a boat is that the view always changes!

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

I he had a lazy left eye and was scratching his ball that was definitely him. The bastard is always scratching his balls, I don't know what's wrong with them, but whatever is going on down there can't be good. 

Seeing your pictures makes me nostalgic of the days I worked on the SS Volendam for Holland American Cruises. There is something about the smell of the sea air and and the mystery of foreign lands going buy, i cant put my finger on, I guess a bit of the Odysseus syndrome. And my time on the ship was literally a sea cruize LOL

----------


## Mendip

Tonight as I started up we were just passing everyone's favourite island, Lesbos. We are well on schedule to enter the Dardanelles after day break.



I'll get my first sight of Asia in the morning since flying out of Bangkok at the end of August.

I've always been interested in Lesbos so did some research on the internet. I couldn't understand why it's a Greek island, yet lies just off the coast of Turkey... but it seems it was one of Greece's territorial gains during the First Balkan War against the Ottoman Empire (1912-1913). You live and learn.

I tried to get a picture of Lesbos but it was disappointing. Those lights are either Lesbos at night or passing ships.




Tomorrow morning we have to pick up a pilot before being allowed to navigate through the Dardanelles. This can take several hours of waiting depending on how busy it is, and doubtlessly, how willing you are to smooth the way. Norway has heavily bought into the 'No corruption or bribery' charter and Norwegian companies are heavily vetted by their government and I doubt that anything more than a few packs of duty free Marlborough would ever change hands. This has of course put Norwegian companies at a distinct disadvantage when bidding for work on the international scene and there's a reason why a certain country's contractors get the majority of work in West Africa. 

But I'll say no more. C'est la vie.





> Tomorrow is 08 October. I have you docking at 06:45. C'mon! Get a move on.


Sadly HNZ that is just 2 hours 25 minutes away... I was rooting for you but it just ain't gonna happen. We won't even have reached the Dardanelles by then.  You can't even use the excuse of not factoring in the clocks going forward... you are way off. But better luck next time!  :Smile: 


I've been studying the entries and have split them up into several groups.


*Pink means absolutely no chance, your slot has passed*

*Green means no chance, we may even still be waiting for a pilot
*
*Yellow means pretty well no chance without a small miracle
*
*Turquoise means you have an outside chance if things go very well
*
*The red hot favourite means may be a little early but have a huge window to get the closest time
*
*Orange means second favourite if we have a small delay*

*Pale grey means who knows... if there's no berth available when we arrive at the docks you're in with a chance (it also means I'm running out of colours)*

*And finally, shitty brown means you're always in with a slim chance but I very much hope you don't win*





> Topper:- Thursday night at 11:22 pm
> 
> happynz:- 08/10/2021 at 06:45 AM
> mudcat:- October 8, 7:09 AM
> malmomike77:- 09.00 on the 8th
> JPPR2:- Oct 8 @ 9:38am
> nidhogg:- 10:35am on Friday October 8th
> Mendip: I'll kick it off with 10:45am on Friday October 8th (included as the marker).
> Saint willy:- 10:46am on on Friday October 8th
> ...



Good luck everyone!

----------


## Mendip

> The bastard is always scratching his balls, I don't know what's wrong with them, but whatever is going on down there can't be good.


Well let's hope it wasn't hereditary, hey!  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

@mendip - that Merrell pair looks more decent than your Jesus sandals.  :Very Happy:  But hey, whatever floats your boat! (or should I say, vessel)

Good luck to everyone in the contest!

----------


## MarilynMonroe

> But a nice sunrise, nonetheless!


That's a beautiful sunrise. Great thread, and a lot of reading to catch up on  :Wink: .

----------


## MarilynMonroe

> Anyway, the video I took yesterday finally uploaded and here are a few more for you


Love the dolphin vid!! What kind of dolphins are they? These creatures are very very smart and social.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I was instructed to take a couple of days off. I said yeah sure, but ignored it... I'm here to earn money. But then I read the email again and it said to charge my days off to both projects...


shore leave? Perfect.

----------


## Saint Willy

> A great thing about being on a boat is that the view always changes!


And you're in a nice part of the world to be having a jolly too.

----------


## Mendip

> shore leave? Perfect.


No, sadly. There's no chance of shore leave... we'll be taking on crew and stores at Istanbul and then off.

They've instructed me to take a couple of days off work on the boat to 'give your head a rest before the next project'.

It's a bit strange, but they're paying. And it's not really happening of course... I'm getting issues with the project I just finished and questions from the office.

----------


## ootai

> No, sadly. There's no chance of shore leave... we'll be taking on crew and stores at Istanbul and then off.
> 
> They've instructed me to take a couple of days off work on the boat to 'give your head a rest before the next project'.
> 
> It's a bit strange, but they're paying. And it's not really happening of course... I'm getting issues with the project I just finished and questions from the office.



If the questions are via email just set up an out of office reply stating HSE told you to rest.
I'm sure they will understand.

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> I've always been interested in Lesbos so did some research on the internet. I couldn't understand why it's a Greek island, yet lies just off the coast of Turkey


I think you got things backwards. 
Asia minor (Anatolia) was always Greek The people  that lived there were genetically  Greeks, they spoke Greek, and had a Greek culture. The ruins are of Greek architecture, and all the inscriptions are in Greek. In fact even those who call modern turks are genetical mostly Greek.
It is the Ottoman occupiers' who  do not belong to on the other side of the boarders and not the Greeks on Lesvos and other Islands who have lived there for thousands of years. 
Ancestry .com  who conducted the turkish DNA project, revealed that most turks are more Greek Genetical than Anatolian turks.  They are simply Pontiac Greeks, Armenians, and other ethnicities of that are who survived the genocide, and were torched to convert to Islam, 
Why We Put Greek and Turkish Together - DNA Consultants

----------


## Saint Willy

> They've instructed me to take a couple of days off work on the boat to 'give your head a rest before the next project'.
> 
> It's a bit strange, but they're paying. And it's not really happening of course... I'm getting issues with the project I just finished and questions from the office.


So take time off, but not really. 555

Perfectly onpoint for HR.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Interesting stuff, BB!


First light found us just north of this small island off the Turkish coast. I'm not sure what it's name is but it's doubtless Greek.



A look back at the island shows all the vessels anchored up in it's lee. Katie, you asked about the circles. Red circles are anchored tankers and green circles are anchored cargo vessels. They're kept segregated for some reason, maybe so that tankers can be easily boomed off in case of a leak?



We have to wait until around 10am to take on a pilot to enter the Dardanelles so are now just proceeding at half speed to kill some time. It's deceptively cold out there despite the lack of waves so I also killed some time by having breakfast. I've been getting the chief stewardess to put aside an evening meal every day for me to eat at breakfast time. Today was kumla, the most traditional west coast Norwegian meal you could ever find.



The kumla is actually the dumpling, but traditionally it goes with sausages, mashed swede, boiled potato and cured mutton. Before anyone (Edmond) starts going on about how much food there is... I have been unsuccessfully pleading now for two weeks for small meals to be plated up. I'm finally not offered potato but get heaps of other stuff instead. Most of the kumla went to feed the fish and at least two thirds of the cured mutton (my favourite) is fat and bones. This diet is serious.

And the money shot!



After breakfast I popped outside for my first view of Asia in seven weeks. That is Asian mainland Turkey in the background behind the island... unless the Greeks have claimed that as well.



Red sky at night, Turkish Delight!



It's amazing how the colours change at sunrise.



And the first Turkish sunrise of the trip!




This delay to get a pilot sadly means that the Green contestants are now out of the running. I would also say that Shutree's miracle did not happen and that Headworx is looking decidedly dodgy.

The initial field is now down to three runners; David48 the favourite, Helge and Shy Guava. I guess you can't completely rule out the rank outsider Armstrong, but I wish I could.

----------


## malmomike77

> 


Mendip, did you bring that chair with you from Thailand?

----------


## malmomike77

> chief stewardess





> I have been unsuccessfully pleading now for two weeks for small meals to be plated up


she's making a play for you, pictures!!!

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^^ Interesting stuff, BB!
> 
> 
> First light found us just north of this small island off the Turkish coast. I'm not sure what it's name is but it's doubtless Greek.
> 
> 
> 
> A look back at the island shows all the vessels anchored up in it's lee. Katie, you asked about the circles. Red circles are anchored tankers and green circles are anchored cargo vessels. They're kept segregated for some reason, maybe so that tankers can be easily boomed off in case of a leak?
> 
> ...



the Dardanelles have a fair bit of history too. 

that food looks... ok, for dog food! 

And the portion SIZE!

----------


## Mendip

> Jesus.  Some history there.  Home of Sparta and Corinth.  Site of the Peloponnesian war (basically Athens versus Sparta, plus allies on both sides).
> 
> Awesome.


Some more history here for you Nid...

We hung around the entrance to the Dardanelles waiting for a pilot.



It would be difficult to imagine a much more strategic location through  history... this narrow waterway controls access to the Black Sea and  also on to the Caspian Sea by a system of locks.



Europe to the north (port) and Asia to the south (starboard).



Being such a strategic position caused the ill-fated Gallipoli landings in 1915/1916.



It's strange to think of the history a little over 100 years ago.

This would have been a very different waterway to navigate through back then.



Here's Cape Helles today, where the British landed with such loss of life.



And further northwards up the coast, away on the distant horizon you can just about see Anzac Cove where the Anzacs landed with an equally awful death toll.



Gallipoli campaign - Wikipedia

----------


## Joe 90

Interesting history lesson Mendip. 

But them toes have just put me off my omelette.

----------


## malmomike77

> But them toes have just put me off my omelette.


you'd think with all this time on his hands he could have gone t town on them, given em a good buffing, get the MEO to take a rasp to them or Miss Stewardess could have painted them an attractive shade of puce.

----------


## Mendip

Well, not for the first time I find myself very disillusioned about what people focus on in this thread. This are my best toes as well.

I've a good mind to show a pic of my big toes... that'll put you off more than an omelette!


Later this morning I went on deck to see what was going on and started imaging how awful the British landings on Cape Helles must have been...



... until a bloody great container ship blocked my view.



I took a look for'ard from the bows to admire the view with Europe on the port side and Asia on the starboard side. That still gives me a kick.



... and then noticed a small boat leaving a container ship, one in front of us in the queue for a pilot.



It was the pilot boat... and it took a turn to starboard and started heading directly toward us!



He's done this a few times.



And swiftly came alongside.



The pilot was delivered bang on 10:45, exactly on time. Amazing.



From then on it was full steam ahead for Istanbul.


Sadly Headworx has now fallen by the wayside and we have four left in contention, although I'm not really taking Armstrong seriously.

The OM recently told me that we're due in '_around midnight_'... realistically making it a two horse race for the finish. Helge is now the red hot favourite, and if we berth before 22:35 the honours go to David, after 22:35 they go to Helge. Or with an outside chance if we get delayed beyond 05:30 tomorrow, Shy Guava could sneak in. We're not gonna sink.

It doesn't get more exciting than this!


David48:- 07:10 pm on Friday October 8th

helge:- Oct 9 -0200 (helge, ever the optimist)

Shy Guava 9.00am 9th.

Armstrong: the boat sinks

----------


## malmomike77

> The OM recently told me that we're due in 'around midnight'..


Ang on, i guessed night-time first and you categorically stated there was no way the boat would be docking nigh time.....where's  that bloody outraged emoji.... :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

Still a chance it'll sink coming into port!

----------


## Mendip

> i'm going controversial - 00:55am on Sat 9th Oct.


Well, strange things happen at sea.

You would have been right in the mix MM... should have stayed put!  :Smile: 

If it makes you feel any better we're now doing 12 knots and already approaching the Sea of Marmara. The pilot must be on a promise... latest ETA is around 9pm which puts David48 back as favourite.

----------


## malmomike77

Insider Dave as he's now known.  :Smile: 

Anyway i recall you saying you are not getting any shore time, bit of bugger.

----------


## Mendip

Yeah, not a chance of any shore time. This should be a very quick mobilisation... crew on at 9am and off to the Black Sea ASAP. Most of the time will probably be taken up by bureaucracy.


We travelled up the Dardanelles during the morning at 12 knots. The pilot must have had plans for Friday night.



There was a beautiful old castle on the northern European side at a pinch point in the straits.





I tried to get a nice pic, but...



That's better. 




From Wikipedia...

_Kilitbahir Castle (Turkish: Kilitbahir Kalesi) is a fortress on the west side of the Dardanelles, opposite the city of Çanakkale, where there is a corresponding fortress (Kale-i Sultaniye), from which Çanakkale takes its name. The two castles were constructed by Fatih Sultan Mehmet in 1463 to control the straits at their narrowest point. Kilitbahir's name, meaning "lock of the sea", reflects this defensive purpose.


_I didn't see the corresponding castle on the Asian side in Canakkale. That area just seemed to be very residential and industrial.




  Past the castle was some kind of monument up on the hill.



No idea what it says... maybe BB can help?



And a flag on the hill. All of the interest seemed to be on the northern European side.



We left that pinch point behind...



And approached the second. I still found it cool to be sailing between two continents.



Europe off the port and Asia off the starboard.



But we left that behind and headed on to the Marmara Sea and on to Istanbul

----------


## malmomike77

I think it is worth the extended trip Mendip - great getting paid for a tour of the Med. 

Does your daughter follow your journey? if she's interested there is shit load of history for her to dip her toes in. Probably difficult with kids today...too dull i guess, sadly. I collected stamps as a child and even though its not popular nowadays, the British Empire and its colonies, geography and history fascinated me. By the age of 12 in could almost name most of the empire and find them on a map and tell you something about the countries concerned.

I know you try to introduce her to culture outside that forced on her and well done you, i bored my kids with stories of times past and they probably hated it at the time but i like to think it added to their lives and gave them a lot other kids who's parents relied solely on school didn't get.

Anyhow, good on you.

----------


## Saint Willy

> By the age of 12 in could almost name most of the empire and find them on a map and tell you something about the countries concerned.


 :smilie_clap:

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> No idea what it says... maybe BB can help?


Not sure what it says but from the flames, weapons' and what looks to be an army soldier, I am willing to guess it does not say, Peace be upon you! LOL

Nice pictures Mendip .
 You the Man, and not so much the dip LOL

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> But we left that behind and headed on to the Marmara Sea and on to Istanbul


You mean Constantinople right? that other name some people use  is mostly bull. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

My daughter often accuses me of being 'old fashioned', but at least I've stopped calling it Constantinople. 

What a great city it is, straddling Europe and Asia and with a wealth of history.

I've discovered that around the 10th Century then name changed from _Constantinople_ to _Stamboul_, then after their conquest in 1485 the Ottomans changed it _Islambol_ which changed during the 20th Centry to _Istanbul_. But it seems that different peoples/ languages etc have referred to it differently and I'm sure BB will know all about the Greek influence.

But whatever you call it, the weather's shite. We have 18 degrees although it feels colder due to the chilly nor'easterlies and it's raining. We've travelled for exactly two weeks to have the same shitty weather we had in Haugesund!

Oh, and I found out that the Turkish writing on the hill at Kilitbahir is the _Dur Yolcu_ memorial, the soldier is a 1915 Turkish soldier and it commemorates the defeat of the Allies at the Gallipoli landings.

 The writing says:

_Traveller halt!
The soil you tread
Once witnessed the end of an era_

The defeat of the Allies was obviously heralded as a new era for Turkey.





> I think it is worth the extended trip Mendip - great getting paid for a tour of the Med. 
> 
> Does your daughter follow your journey?


I've been trying to involve my daughter with the voyage, but at 10 she just seems a little bit young to comprehend maps and geography. When I get home I'll go through it on a map and a globe and show her this thread which is one of the reasons I've added so many pictures. I just wish I hadn't mentioned the starfish woman now, that could provokes some awkward questions.


Last night at 9pm we were still about 15 nautical miles off Istanbul.





I tried to get a picture from the helideck but didn't stay long... 20 knot winds and rain. It wasn't pleasant.



This put it neck and neck between David48 and Helge... 10:35pm was the critical time.

We were a way off but now doing nearly 13 knots... I bet the Chief Engineer wasn't happy.

----------


## nidhogg

When i was probably around 7 or 8, dad went on an extended deployment (he was Royal Navy).  The boat was gone for about 18 month on a round the world trip.  We got post cards from him, and we had a world map in my bedroom, where we would place small flag pins on his latest location.

You might like to think about something similar for your daughter.  She is not too young i think.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, that's a good idea. Maybe the problem isn't her age... it's just that I'm competing against Roblox, Minecraft, Youtube and Tik-Tok for her attention?


Soon after 10pm we were just entering the harbour area. It was still raining bit now at least the land provided shelter from the wind.

A couple of mosques off to port, in the European side of Istanbul.





It was weird to see all the bright lights after two weeks at sea. In fact we rarely, if ever, berth within city harbours any more. It's always at offshore bases these days to save on harbour fees (and to stop crew drinking).



Our allotted berth was over by that silver castle.



We had about 25 minutes to get there for David 48 to take the prize... any later and it was all Helge's.



A tug joined to usher us alongside. First off our starboard side...



And then port...



He wouldn't leave us alone... I guess they're not used to a DP Class 2 vessel. Completely superfluous, especially with a pilot onboard.



Three was our berth off to port. The skipper had to do a 180 to get the gangway on the starboard side.



The time was ticking away...



As he completed the manoeuver the castle went red in our honour!



And then all that was left was to ease alongside... with a different tug in attention.



Not far to go...



Closer... a couple of guys were waiting to secure the aft mooring lines.



And this chap was waiting for the for'ard line...



Inches to go...



And bump... we were alongside almost exactly 14 days since leaving Haugesund!



And still the tug attended... until all mooring lines had been secured.



We're berthed on the Asian side of Istanbul. Today the oncoming crew should join around 9am and after clearing customs we hope to sail this evening to start the new project.

I'll have to start earning my money again soon so won't have so much time for this nonsense, but will try and update when possible. The commute is ongoing!

But first of course I have to get some pics of us passing through the Bosphorus Strait and on to the Black Sea. The strait divides European Istanbul from Asian Istanbul. A city that straddles two continents!

----------


## David48atTD

You like building the tension  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

> You like building the tension


Its currently sinking.

----------


## Mendip

Oh, I nearly forgot...



Yep, we bumped alongside at 23:05 on 8th October.

Helge just takes the honours by 30 minutes... it doesn't get closer than that!

Quite remarkable after a two week transit.

Many congratulations Helge!

Helge has the choice of a box of Turkish Delight or a Fez. I know which one I'd go for... I bladdy hate Turkish Delight.

Commiserations to David... you fought bravely to the end, but it just wasn't to be.


David48:- 07:10 pm on Friday October 8th

helge:- Oct 9 -0200 (helge, ever the optimist)


The ironic thing is, MalmoMike would have won if he had only stuck to his convictions and not listened to me.

Sorry about that Mike... there must be a lesson there somewhere!  :Smile: 





> i'm going controversial - 00:55am on Sat 9th Oct. Always been an outlier, see if Mendip gets the pun.


Oh dear...




> I would like to amend my entry to 16.00 on Thursday 7th



I feel so guilty that I would like to award MalmoMike the consolation prize of the set of Turkish ear hair trimmers.

AKA as my old toe nail clippers!

Enjoy! Address please.


Edit: We didn't sink. So bugger off Armstrong!  :Smile:

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> A couple of mosques off to port, in the European side of Istanbul.


Looks like like Hagia Sophia which was a Christian Cathedral before it was converted into a devil worshiping den of heathens and other religious degenerates, AKA Muslim mosque.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I just wish I hadn't mentioned the starfish woman now, that could provokes some awkward questions.


And I promise not to mention your predilections for men either.

----------


## malmomike77

> The ironic thing is, MalmoMike would have won if he had only stuck to his convictions and not listened to me.
> 
> Sorry about that Mike... there must be a lesson there somewhere! 
> 
> 
>  Originally Posted by malmomike77 
> i'm going controversial - 00:55am on Sat 9th Oct. Always been an outlier, see if Mendip gets the pun. 
> Oh dear...
> 
> ...


Well its a lesson. i confess i have singularly failed to learn this lesson over the years, i can't tell you the number of times i could have won the lottery  :Smile:  Can i donate the clippers to Ootai? save on the postage

----------


## ootai

> W
> 
> Can i donate the clippers to Ootai? save on the postage



Thanks for the thought Mr malmomike but I think Mendip should keep them he's the hairy fukker!

----------


## malmomike77

A lesser person would think it suspicious that Mendip hasn't posted since thrusting his way into the nexus of Nople. Has he been economical with the truth about not being allowed dockside or has the radical Geo been detained by the Turks and is even as i type this living out a scene from Midnight Express?

----------


## Edmond

> A lesser person would think it suspicious that Mendip hasn't posted since thrusting his way into the nexus of Nople. Has he been economical with the truth about not being allowed dockside or has the radical Geo been detained by the Turks and is even as i type this living out a scene from Midnight Express?


I just renewed a child's passport last week without leaving the house, all done digitally nowadays, photo done in the kitchen with me phone (TBF I would have needed to leave the house if I didn't make up a fake witness, but the fake witness doesn't need to be in fudging Bangkok!)

The exact same as when I renewed my own passport earlier in the year.


Just sayin'...


Mendo's well dodgy I reckon.  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> I think Mendip should keep them


Does he still have any toenails to clip?

 :Sorry1:

----------


## OhOh

> I just renewed a child's passport last week without leaving the house,


If you have a UK passport, you would have had to return your original passport. Thus, a visit to the post office, yes?

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

The UK passport office requires the return of the original passport. 

https://assets.publishing.service.go...e_G2_10.16.pdf

Unless, of course, you politely point out to the UK passport office, that Thailand requires all foreigners to carry a valid passport. Which was an acceptable reason not to send it.

----------


## Joe 90

> The UK passport office requires the return of the original passport.


Then its returned with the corner snipped off.

----------


## Mendip

> Has he been economical with the truth about not being allowed dockside...


Nope, not a step was made on Turkish soil. I do actually have work to do.

And just a reminder, this isn't a thread about toe nails or about the complexities of renewing passports from Thailand... it's a commute/travel/work thread.

Although you have reminded me that the daughter's Aussie passport should need renewing mid December... they only last 5 years ya know. This is nice timing for an early Christmas Sukhumvit drink!  :Smile: 


We had a whole day alongside in Istanbul so I'm gonna bore people with a few photos.

It's pretty bleak here and the barmy weather off the Costa del Sol is now a distant memory. We've a chilly 17 degrees here with 20 to 30 knot nor'easterlies coming in off central Asia.

Those same mosques on the European side of Istanbul in daylight.



And this was the building lit up in silver and red lights last night, just behind our berth.



And the flashing tower.



An Oldendorff tanker passed by from the Sea of Marmara and on towards the Bosphorus, en-route to the Black Sea.



You can just see the Oldendorff tanker in the backgound (behind the moored tanker in the foreground) before it disappeared into the Bosphorus.



We had to take on fuel so this bunker boat came alongside. This is a complex business and booms need to be laid out around the boat in case of a leak.





The bunkering took an age, and we missed our slot to pass through the Bosphorus. A one-way system is in place to avoid collisions in the narrow strait and by the time we were ready the traffic from the Black Sea was already passing through westwards.

This meant we had to wait a few hours before departing at night.

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> The bunkering took an age, and we missed our slot to pass through the Bosphorus. A one-way system is in place to avoid collisions in the narrow strait and by the time we were ready the traffic from the Black Sea was already passing through westwards.


I see you are fuelling up with petrol  that probably came from Greek dinosaurs. 
The indignities continue. 
You know we inventor petrol?   :Smile:   we also invented inventing , and floating at sea, before us everything sunk to the bottom.

----------


## Mendip

I think a night time Bosphorus passage was well worth the delay.

After passing over the _Eurasia Tunnel_ (possibly the only tunnel between Europe and Asia) at the southern end of the Bosphorus, we approached the catchily named '_15 July Martyr's Bridge_'. There are three bridges across the Bosphorus... I think the only bridges between Europe and Asia?

The _15 July Martyr's Bridge_ (with the second bridge in the background)



There can't be many who have had their picture taken with one foot in Europe and one foot in Asia!



Nearly there...



I've always had a thing for taking pictures of the underside of bridges.



That's the _15 July Martyr's Bridge_ done, the next to come.



The second bridge is called the '_Fatih Sultan Mehmet Bridge_', with a nice castle next to the tower on the western European bank.



Many of my pictures came out slightly out of focus which was annoying. I don't think these phone cameras like taking pictures at night, but also it was blowing a gale making it hard to hold the damn thing still.

Someone set off a flurry of fireworks next to the castle as we approached which seemed strange. It was _12:45am_ (_Thanks, Saint Willy!_)

And here's the _Fatih Sultan Mehmet Bridge_ in all it's glory. I love bridges.



The castle on the European bank.



There was just time to take a brief look back at the _15 July Martyr's Bridge_...



... before passing under the _Fatih Sultan Mehmet Bridge.

_

Nearly there...



And the money shot! 

You won't get that in any guide books.



And a brief look back...



There was a long gap before the third and final bridge so I went below decks for a cup of coffee to warm up... it was bladdy freezing outside.

This is where we were. You can see that all the traffic was heading northwards towards the Black Sea at the time.



After getting warm I again braved the cold to see the final bridge. Istanbul had saved the best until last.

This is the '_Yavuz Sultan Selim Bridge_', located at northern end of the Bosphorus, at the gateway to the Black Sea.



The Turks could teach the English a thing or two about lighting things up. If you let these guys loose on the White Cliffs of Dover they would look spectacular.



The skipper was bang on the money!



The pilot jumped ship just before passing under the _Yavuz Sultan Selim Bridge._ His work was done and we were on our own to enter the Black Sea.

Not far to go...



And bingo... another money shot! 

Not many bridges have blue underlighting.



And that's it... we're now in the Black Sea and about to start calibrations to get this new project underway... the voyage is well and truly over and I really have to get busy!



Farewell Istanbul...

----------


## Saint Willy

> Those same mosques on the European side of Istanbul in daylight.


Not half as interesting during the day. Funny how lights & nighttime can make a cityscape pretty. 




> I think a night time Bosphorus passage was well worth the delay.


Agreed, fantastic photos, Mendip. Thanks for sharing. 




> It was 12:45pm


I hate to be pedantic, but I think it was 12:45am




> And here's the Fatih Sultan Mehmet Bridge in all it's glory. I love bridges.


I can see why...





> If you let these guys loose on the White Cliffs of Dover they would look spectacular.

----------


## Mendip

> I hate to be pedantic, but I think it was 12:45am


I wasn't sure that anyone would spot my deliberate mistake. Well done!

Now edited and amended.

----------


## ootai

Mendip
I was going to ask you about the origin of both the Bosporus Strait and the Dardanelles but instead I went googling and it was very interesting.
However I didn't find out if both the Black Sea and the Sea of Marmara were originally lakes that somehow joined up with the Aegean sea.

----------


## Shutree

> Helge just takes the honours by 30 minutes... it doesn't get closer than that!


Well done Helge.

I went offline for a couple of days and as Mendip was passing Greece I was inspired to seek out a bottle of something to celebrate in advance my obvious success in his competition. It was good. As it turned out I didn't win, the wine however cannot return to the bottle.

----------


## OhOh

Thanks for another ***** travellers tale.

What is the new work project, location, your work package and duration?

----------


## Edmond

> If you have a UK passport, you would have had to return your original passport. Thus, a visit to the post office, yes?


No.

Is it stipulated that you, the passport holder, *must* be the one to go to the post office and not somebody else? That a courier service that collects said documents from your house is verboten?




 Great pics Mendo, bladdy 'ell that was a quickie.  :Smile: 




> We had to take on fuel so this bunker boat came alongside.


How much does the fuel cost per liter? How much would it typically take on to fill the tanks? What sorta (n)mpg would it typcically get if averaging a steady rate of knots?

----------


## nidhogg

> No.
> 
> Is it stipulated that you, the passport holder, *must* be the one to go to the post office and not somebody else? That a courier service that collects said documents from your house is verboten?


Had a look around, and indeed, it seems you can renew completely on line.

That is surprising.

----------


## Saint Willy

> it seems you can renew completely on line.


Bugger, don't tell Mendo's missus.

----------


## Edmond

> Had a look around, and indeed, it seems you can renew completely on line.
> 
> That is surprising.


Mendo The Shagger = Bust - to the - ed.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip
> However I didn't find out if both the Black Sea and the Sea of Marmara were originally lakes that somehow joined up with the Aegean sea.


I was hoping you could remember Ootai!  :Smile: 

I'll have to get back to you on this one.





> ... as Mendip was passing Greece I was inspired to seek out a bottle of something to celebrate in advance my obvious success in his competition.


Yes, bad luck Shutree, I was rooting for you.

It seems the set of Turkish ear hair trimmers are going begging, if yer interested?






> What is the new work project, location, your work package and duration?


You haven't been paying attention OhOh!

Another six weeks for me... I hope...

Another lockdown… another commute






> Great pics Mendo, bladdy 'ell that was a quickie. 
> 
> How much does the fuel cost per liter? How much would it typically take on to fill the tanks? What sorta (n)mpg would it typcically get if averaging a steady rate of knots?


Yeah, I don't hang around... but bladdy hell, a lot of questions. I'll have to get back to you on those...





> Had a look around, and indeed, it seems you can renew completely on line.
> That is surprising.


Maybe you can get an agent to sort it all out for you in theory but I prefer to go in person, to be sure.

Last time I kept my 'old' passport during the application process but the girl at Trendy cut it's corner off when I collected my new one.

----------


## Headworx

> Maybe you can get an agent to sort it all out for you in theory but I prefer to go in person, to be sure.


Your dedication is both noted and admirable, to be sure  :Naughty:   :Smile:

----------


## nidhogg

> Maybe you can get an agent to sort it all out for you in theory but I prefer to go in person, to be sure.
> 
> Last time I kept my 'old' passport during the application process but the girl at Trendy cut it's corner off when I collected my new one.


I mean this:

Renew or replace your adult passport: Renew - GOV.UK


As said, it looks like you can directly apply for the renewal on line.

What you need:

Renew online
Use this service to renew your passport online. It costs £75.50.


Youll need:


a digital photo
a credit or debit card
your passport

----------


## Edmond

Gone from 'I must be there in person, both to apply, and collect it."

to:




> but I prefer to go in person, to be sure.



The story starts to unravel.  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

Mate, back to your last post over page ... fucking brilliant ... one of your best yet.

Yep, the bridges look cool.

Thanks for sharing.

----------


## nidhogg

There seems to be a massive amount of contradictory information.  Lots of sites still point to the trendy building and needing to apply in person.  The above link is a UK .GOV site, so I would probably try that first next time.

(and I note in 35 years of working in Asia, I have not renewed my passport the same way twice in a row!)

----------


## Headworx

> The story starts to unravel.


_Starts_ to? It had more holes than a fucking colander the first time he rolled it out a few years back!  :Razz:

----------


## Edmond

> It had more holes than a fucking colander


If his story was a ship it would be deeper than the fokin' Titanic at this stage.  :Smile: 


The SS Passport has been sunk more times than a Leo with Ya Dong chaser FFS!

----------


## Mendip

> I mean this:
> 
> Renew or replace your adult passport: Renew - GOV.UK
> 
> 
> As said, it looks like you can directly apply for the renewal on line.
> 
> What you need:
> 
> ...



Yes, but Nid, that is for applying within the UK. If you follow the links on that page for applying from overseas, and then for applying from Thailand, it leads to this...

Exhibit A.



I rest my case.

----------


## Edmond

"someone else can go on your behalf"

It's the very next sentence!

----------


## malmomike77

> Mate, back to your last post over page ... fucking brilliant ... one of your best yet.
> 
> Yep, the bridges look cool. Thanks for sharing.


Agreed. 

Not wishing to be a kill joy but it strikes me that the energy used in lighting up those bridges is going to be a thing of the past in the next decade or so. I cannot imagine with all the climate commitments, countries continuing to use valuable electricity at night-time for aesthetics. Enjoy it while it lasts  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> "someone else can go on your behalf"
> 
> It's the very next sentence!


Yes, and immediately before that '_if you're unable to_'...

So you expect me to lie?

I just wasn't brought up that way.

You seem to be just picking the bits that suit your unsavoury insinuations.

----------


## nidhogg

> Yes, but Nid, that is for applying within the UK. If you follow the links on that page for applying from overseas, and then for applying from Thailand, it leads to this...
> 
> Exhibit A.
> 
> I rest my case.


I stand corrected.

Thanks.

----------


## David48atTD

> I rest my case.


With you Bro.

Any excuse is  :coolio:

----------


## nidhogg

Indeed, just played with the system, got a bit of a way in, to get to the must apply in person (unless unable to go).  Need to book an appointment blah blah blah.

And need to allow 11 weeks!!!!!

----------


## Mendip

Yeah, my last one back in February this year took nine weeks.

But just to be clear, I didn't spend the entire nine weeks in Bangkok waiting for it!

----------


## Happy As Larry

I renewed my UK passport last summer. I used "an agent'. It was a very straightforward process. 
The cost was about the same as going myself and I had no need to schlepp down to Bangkok twice - much less stress.

When next up for renewal I will do similar

----------


## malmomike77

> I had no need to schlepp down to Bangkok twice - much less stress.


I think Mendip is look for the stress  :Smile:  thrives on it

----------


## OhOh

> "someone else can go on your behalf"


You are correct. My apology. 

I went straight to:

Applying for a passport from outside the UK: supporting documents (group 2) - GOV.UK

But missed this:

_"You must apply in person. If you’re unable to, someone else can go on your behalf. You must bring photo ID with you.
__
Bring original supporting documents and a colour photocopy of each one. The original documents will be returned to you._

_You must also bring your current passport with you when you  apply, and a full colour photocopy of the entire passport (every page  including blank pages)._
_
You can’t travel with it after you’ve applied for a new one -  but you will be able to keep your existing passport for ID purposes."_

Overseas British passport applications – Apply for a passport – GOV.UK

Which is an update from my last renewal.

----------


## ootai

> I was hoping you could remember Ootai! 
> 
> I'll have to get back to you on this one.



Good to see you have got your sense of humour back....... arsehole

----------


## Topper

> I think Mendip is look for the stress  thrives on it


Along with ponds to go wading in....

----------


## malmomike77

^ Mmm, he's not resolved the "how to capture all the fish in the pond" without it taking two weeks and a visit to hospital as yet.

I think given his recently found DIY bent, he should consider construction of a wheel chariot with which to take the pack out chariot racing. Make a good thread and give him something to occupy himself on his next Korat stint, knackering the doggies out is obviously a adjunct benefit.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Yeah, my last one back in February this year took nine weeks.
> 
> But just to be clear, I didn't spend the entire nine weeks in Bangkok waiting for it!



A missed opportunity, for sure.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I think Mendip is look for the stress  thrives on it



To be fair I dont think its stress that Mendy finds in Banagkok

----------


## Joe 90

> Mate, back to your last post over page ... fucking brilliant ... one of your best yet.
> 
> Yep, the bridges look cool.
> 
> Thanks for sharing.


I concur,  excellent photography. 
Would love to see those sights and experience that cruise.
Some peeps pay thousands for a cruise like that and you're getting paid.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, but I just make it look glamorous. You don't see all the boring parts.


Anyway... moving on from passport renewals and trips to Bangkok...




> Mendip
> I was going to ask you about the origin of both the Bosporus Strait and the Dardanelles but instead I went googling and it was very interesting.
> However I didn't find out if both the Black Sea and the Sea of Marmara were originally lakes that somehow joined up with the Aegean sea.


Well Ootai, now that I've got used to sharing the boat with a load of new people and am learning to cope with socialising again, I've had time to look into your question.

From what I can gather...

  The Dardanelles and Sea of Mamara were formed millions of years ago by crustal movements and comprised part of the Aegean during pre-history. The Black Sea was originally a freshwater lake, well below sea level but cut off from the Mediterranean by a piece of land that included the Bosphorus Valley. 

  Around 7000 years ago the rising Mediterranean (caused by melting ice at the end of Northern Hemisphere glaciation) formed a channel through the Bosphorus Valley and seawater flooded through to inundate the Black Sea. It has been estimated that the volume of seawater pouring through was 200 times the volume of the Niagra Falls.

  The Black Sea is thought to have widened by up to a mile a day during the deluge, burying the shoreline beneath hundreds of metres of salty seawater.

  This flooding of the Black Sea has been linked to the story of Noah’s ark, which traditionally is thought to have come to rest on Mount Ararat in Turkey.

  At present day, denser, more saline water from the Aegean flows into the Black Sea underneath the less dense fresher water that flows out. This creates a significant and permanent layer of deep water that does not drain or mix, and is therefore anoxic (no oxygen).

  Below 150 metres water depth the Black Sea is anoxic and lifeless and the seabed across the Abyssal Plain (typically around 2200 metres depth) consists of a foul-smelling sulphurous sludge which is completely devoid of life. The water quality isn’t helped by the sea being surrounded by some of the most polluting nations on the planet, and what life the Black Sea does sustain in the shallower, oxygenated water is under threat from pollution and over fishing. 

  Anyway, what effect does all this have on us?

From 130m depth the Black Sea water contains Hydrogen Sulphide (H2S), which increases in concentration with depth down to 2200m. Within the deepest areas the concentration of H2S can be 12ml/l, or 1.2%. This means that at the end of every dive the ROV has to be hosed down before being brought to deck. 

  As I’ve mentioned before, everything comes down to geology!

----------


## katie23

^good morning, mendy! Great pics of the crossing.

What causes the H2S? Are there underwater volcanoes which emit it?

Have watched vids of the La Palma volcano eruption. Fascinating view but must be terrifying to the people who had to flee. Homes and livelihoods lost. On the upside, the island has gotten bigger!

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> Below 150 metres water depth the Black Sea is anoxic and lifeless and the seabed across the Abyssal Plain (typically around 2200 metres depth) consists of a foul-smelling sulphurous sludge which is completely devoid of life


This should preserve ancient sea wrecks, I think I remember reading something about it.

----------


## Shutree

Mendip, when the ROV is checking a pipeline, what does it actually do? Go from joint to joint and look for bubbles or something more complex than that?
Are the joints numbered, is there some number visibly painted on or how do you know which joint you are looking at?
While the ROV is doing all that checking, what does the resident geologist do?

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ Yeah, but I just make it look glamorous. You don't see all the boring parts.
> 
> 
> Anyway... moving on from passport renewals and trips to Bangkok...
> 
> 
> 
> Well Ootai, now that I've got used to sharing the boat with a load of new people and am learning to cope with socialising again, I've had time to look into your question.
> 
> ...



Wow, i didn't realise how big the ROV was. From the other pics you posted I assumed it was about a metre long, and half as high.





> ^good morning, mendy! Great pics of the crossing.
> 
> What causes the H2S? Are there underwater volcanoes which emit it?
> 
> Have watched vids of the La Palma volcano eruption. Fascinating view but must be terrifying to the people who had to flee. Homes and livelihoods lost. On the upside, the island has gotten bigger!


It will be a fair while before that land is in a usable form.

----------


## Mendip

> What causes the H2S? Are there underwater volcanoes which emit it?


My understanding is that it's the decomposition of all the organic matter that pours into the Black Sea that uses up all the oxygen. The lack of circulation prevents oxygen mixing with the lower levels of the water and anaerobic decomposition then causes the production of hydrogen sulphide.

I'm no chemist but there's more about it here if you're interested.

https://www.researchgate.net/publica...ydrogen_Source





> This should preserve ancient sea wrecks, I think I remember reading something about it.


We find tree branches and trunks alongside the pipeline that could be tens or even hundred of years old. Nothing rots due to the lack oxygen and therefor no oxidation occurs (I think).

The Swedish outfit I worked for last year found some ancient shipwrecks during a route survey (for this same pipeline we're inspecting now) back in 2016/2017.

This is why Black Sea shipwrecks are such a unique find





> Mendip, when the ROV is checking a pipeline, what does it actually do? Go from joint to joint and look for bubbles or something more complex than that?
> Are the joints numbered, is there some number visibly painted on or how do you know which joint you are looking at?
> While the ROV is doing all that checking, what does the resident geologist do?


The ROV is flown along a pipeline collecting all manner of data about the pipeline, it's position, condition and relationship with the seabed.

Digital video is usually acquired from three cameras: a centre camera and one looking at each side of the pipeline. All that video footage will be reviewed on board the vessel to check the integrity of field joints, anodes, coating etc. We also look for freespans (unsupported sections due to scouring/uneven seabed) and sections of burial (which are generally desired).

We use multibeam echosounder data to build a digital terrain model of the seabed along a corridor either side of the pipeline. This helps determine scouring, freespans and areas of lateral movement (caused by thermal expansion when a hot product is being transported under high pressure).

The ROV will usually carry a pipetracker system to not only detect a buried pipeline so that we can track it, but also to determine depth of burial which helps identify the profile of a pipeline and determine areas of upheaval buckling (also caused by thermal expansion).

The ROV will also be fitted with side scan sonar to help identify seabed objects and past evidence of trawling (at least we have no trawl damage to worry about in the Black Sea as there's no bottom fish... so no bottom trawling).

We may monitor a pipeline's cathodic protection (protection against corrosion) and in this case we're also monitoring pipeline external temperature at designated locations.

All field joints are numbered, but once a pipeline has been down for a few years the numbering is rarely visible due to sediment cover. Our positioning is usually good to less than a metre, even at over 2km water depth, so we know which number field joint we are looking at by comparing position to the as-laid or as-built surveys which were carried out at the time of a pipeline lay and commissioning.

The ROV acquires the data but ROV personnel are generally not responsible for any checking, other than hopefully noting something major like a leak or a new shipwreck or dropped container lying across a pipeline. The data is all streamed up the umbilical to topside computers where processing and interpretation takes place. The resident geologist has his inspection engineer hat on for this type of job and is responsible for much of the later review and reporting. 

It's monotonous work... but it's work. Throughout the downturns in the oil and gas industry, existing infrastructure will always need inspecting. This kind of work is my bread and butter.

----------


## malmomike77

> My understanding is that it's the decomposition of all the organic matter that pours into the Black Sea that uses up all the oxygen.


Yep, nasty stuff too, very poisonous. That rotten egg smell.

----------


## CalEden

_ Originally Posted by katie23 
What causes the H2S? Are there underwater volcanoes which emit it?

_

My understanding is that it's the decomposition of all the organic matter that pours into the Black Sea that uses up all the oxygen. The lack of circulation prevents oxygen mixing with the lower levels of the water and anaerobic decomposition then causes the production of hydrogen sulphide.


Like your pond when it turns mushy pea green.

----------


## hallelujah

Oh well, as Mendip prefers to regale us of his tales cooped up with a load of hairy-arsed men on a floating prison  :Smile: , here are a few pictures for you to enjoy of an unexpected (ie enforced), but welcome night in Istanbul just over a month ago. Basically, hairy-arsed fishermen, kebabs and a couple of football stadiums (so not too dissimilar to Bristol if we can call the fare served up there football)  :Smile: .

Straight into the good stuff (BB will hate me for saying this, but, although very similar, I prefer Turkish food over Greek). We got a bit carried away with all that lamb on offer and my drinks _weren't_ Pepsi.

Mosque in the centre of town near Taksim Square.


Cim Bom Bom! My taxi driver from the airport was a Fenerbahce fan who pulled me up for saying this when he dropped us off at Taksim.



Hairy-arsed (fisher)men for Mendip over the Bosphorous.  :Smile: 



I think this is the Hagia Sophia just over the bridge in the distance. I _think,_ but don't hold me to it.


Can you guess which Istanbul team play here (the badge and the colours should help  :Smile: )?


It's a great city if you get the chance to visit. I was last there in 2010 and Erdogan's conservative policies have definitely changed the place (the Efes signs that used to adorn almost every shop have been erased or replaced with adverts for water), but the food is great, the people are cool and you've got centuries of history there. 

What's not to like?

(plus I've got a shitload of fucking Turkish lira going cheap if you wanna do a deal  :rofl: )

----------


## malmomike77

^ Nice.

Some developments in the North Sea related to wind power installations and how the power cables are affecting crabs on the Beeb. Seems they may have to rethink cables or accept ....... no new crabs..Making sure you stay current on developments Mendip, impress or bore the fook out of yer shipmates :Smile: 

Brown crabs find underwater power cables 'difficult to resist'

Brown crabs find underwater power cables "difficult to resist", a new study has found.

The cables for offshore renewable energy emit an electromagnetic field which attracts them and causes them to sit still.

A study of about 60 brown crabs at the St Abbs Marine Station in the Borders found higher levels of electromagnetism affected their blood cells.

That could, in turn, make them more susceptible to bacterial infection.

Alastair Lyndon, from Heriot-Watt University, said: "Underwater cables emit an electromagnetic field.

"When it's at a strength of 500 microTeslas and above, which is about 5% of the strength of a fridge door magnet, the crabs seem to be attracted to it and just sit still."


Researchers said work needed to be done to ensure offshore wind farms did not affect crab populations

He said that was not a problem in itself, but if they were not moving then they were not foraging or seeking a mate.

"The change in activity levels also leads to changes in sugar metabolism - they store more sugar and produce less lactate, just like humans," he said.

The researchers used the marine station's purpose-built aquarium laboratory for the experiment.

Kevin Scott at St Abbs Marine Station said: "The aquarium lab is composed entirely of non-metallic materials, which means there is minimal electromagnetic interference.

"We found that exposure to higher levels of electromagnetic field strength changed the number of blood cells in the crabs' bodies.

"This could have a range of consequences, like making them more susceptible to bacterial infection."

Researchers warned that could hit fishing markets, with crabs being one of the UK's most valuable crustacean catches.

They said more work needed to be done to ensure offshore wind farms - which need extensive cabling - did not destabilise the brown crab population.

The study raised concerns about the potential impact on the fishing industry

Mr Lyndon said: "Male brown crabs migrate up the east coast of Scotland.

"If miles of underwater cabling prove too difficult to resist, they'll stay put.

"This could mean we have a build-up of male crabs in the south of Scotland, and a paucity of them in the north east and islands, where they are incredibly important for fishermen's livelihoods and local economies."

He said one solution would be to bury the cables in the seafloor but warned it could be expensive and make maintenance difficult.

"We need to investigate further technical solutions so that we don't create negative environmental effects while trying to decarbonise our energy supply," he added.

'Extensive monitoring'
The study was published in the Journal of Marine Science and Engineering.

Ben Miller, senior policy manager at Scottish Renewables, said offshore wind developers had to carry out "very extensive assessment and monitoring" of any impact on marine life at all stages of development and construction.

"The offshore renewables industry already buries most transmission cabling in the seabed as standard practice, and developer modelling suggests that electromagnetic field levels and impacts will be very low," he said.

"Research and discussion around any further mitigation measures is ongoing, as part of the industry's determination both to protect marine biodiversity and create a sustainable energy system."

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-58869465

----------


## Looper

> The ROV is flown along a pipeline collecting all manner of data about the pipeline, it's position, condition and relationship with the seabed.


Fascinating and most edumacational thread Mendip

I thought they could send a pig along the pipeline with a camera to do detailed internal inspection.

The data could be stored in the pig. Or maybe it could be transmitted along the pipeline using radio-waves since the internal radio acoustics of a steel pipeline might be good for long distance transmission of a week signal?

They could also maybe have a transponder in the pig emitting a signal that an autonomous ROV could follow for less frequent external inspection if it had a long lasting power source

Or they could have a little monorail on top of the pipeline for running external visual checks more simply. Only if the monorail is broken would they have to engage a boatload of hairy-feeted geologists with a yellow submarine

Can't they also detect leaks by measuring differential gas flow rates at intervals along the pipeline?

Where is the nearest patent office LT?

I am going into the pipeline inspection business

----------


## katie23

^are your pipes worthy of inspection, looper? Heh!

 :Very Happy:   :spam2: 

@mendip - thnx for the info about H2S

@hallelujah - great pics, nice food - thanks!

----------


## Mendip

> (so not too dissimilar to Bristol if we can call the fare served up there football) .
> 
> Straight into the good stuff (BB will hate me for saying this, but, although very similar, I prefer Turkish food over Greek). We got a bit carried away with all that lamb on offer and my drinks _weren't_ Pepsi.
> 
> Hairy-arsed (fisher)men for Mendip over the Bosphorous. 
> 
> It's a great city if you get the chance to visit. 
> 
> What's not to like?


Thanks Hal, this thread has been lacking some decent food pics!

My small experience of Istanbul has put it firmly on my list for a future visit... a proper one when I actually walk around.

Do you know what those guys were fishing for... did you see anyone catch anything?

And Bristol City are on the up... they're destined for the Premiership in a couple of years when they may even get their own thread!





> Brown crabs find underwater power cables 'difficult to resist'


Interesting stuff Mike. 

In the oil and gas industry many electricity cables are in use to power platforms and currently Equinor are going through a big electrification campaign all across the Norwegian Sector with many new power cables being planned and laid. All of these are trenched below seabed for protection against trawling so the Norwegian crabs are safe.

We often sea marine life attached to pipelines and it's thought the slightly raised temperature caused by a hot product or by the friction of a transporting product may be part of the attraction.

Many of these pipeline will form a barrier for migrating seabed-dwelling marine life for endless kilometres and I'm sure there must be an environmental impact.





> I thought they could send a pig along the pipeline with a camera to do detailed internal inspection.
> 
> The data could be stored in the pig. Or maybe it could be transmitted along the pipeline using radio-waves since the internal radio acoustics of a steel pipeline might be good for long distance transmission of a week signal?
> 
> They could also maybe have a transponder in the pig emitting a signal that an autonomous ROV could follow for less frequent external inspection if it had a long lasting power source
> 
> Or they could have a little monorail on top of the pipeline for running external visual checks more simply. Only if the monorail is broken would they have to engage a boatload of hairy-feeted geologists with a yellow submarine
> 
> Can't they also detect leaks by measuring differential gas flow rates at intervals along the pipeline?
> ...


I think you're a bit late to the party Looper.

On completion of a pipe lay we will send an intelligent pig through a pipeline to check for ovality, weld integrity and to clean out the welding slag. Data will be stored in the pig and then downloaded on recovery.

During a pipeline's life, pigs are regularly used to monitor wall thickness and the effects of corrosion. Some sour products are particularly corrosive to steel.

We use ROVs for external pipeline inspections and pigs are used for the internal inspections.

Occasionally we have used an ROV to wait by a pipeline to monitor when a pig passes, as you mention. An autonomous ROV (or _AUV_) could be used for this, but it would still require a support vessel for launch and recovery, to download any data and recharge batteries.

Leaks are generally detected by pressure loss from a platform or onshore processing plant, however we may be asked to find the exact location of a detected leak using an ROV. The vast majority of leaks occur close to platforms where flanges and other connections connect pipelines to spool pieces. Pigs generally aren't suitable in these areas due to sharp bends in the prefabricated spools.

I'm afraid your monorail idea is a non-starter... maybe your time would be better invested in developing a mat finish for bathroom scales?  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

I watched Captain Phillips last night but I don't suppose you're that appealing to pirates? (The stuff on the boat, not you personally, I expect they'd love you)

----------


## hallelujah

Mendip, they're hoping for anything really, but most of them get smaller sea bass that I think they fry in batter. 

I've done a bit myself from the coast in Greece and ended up with various stuff, but not all good for eating. It was easy though. Just put it on the bottom with a bit of fish on the hook and you're in within seconds.

----------


## Shutree

> I thought they could send a pig along the pipeline with a camera to do detailed internal inspection.


Is it difficult to get a pig into scuba gear? Cameras are fiddly things under water, can pigs be relied upon to take clear shots?

----------


## David48atTD

> can pigs be relied upon to take clear shots?



 
https://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/vi...animation.webm

----------


## Looper

> ^are your pipes worthy of inspection, looper? Heh!


I fear I am being assailed with innuendo and lascivious lewdities from a leery lady from Luzon  :Surprised: 

Let it be known that my pipe is inspected and pressure tested regularly as part of a rigorous and exhaustive health and safety directive

 :ourrules: 




> I'm afraid your monorail idea is a non-starter... maybe your time would be better invested in developing a mat finish for bathroom scales?


A fella has to inspect his undercarriage as part of routine maintenance!

----------


## Joe 90

> Can you guess which Istanbul team play here (the badge and the colours should help )?


Surprised you didn't go deep into bandit country and the bowels of Hell visiting Galatasary...

----------


## katie23

@looper - good to know that your pipes undergo regular maintenance. I'm not implying anything, since I have  a set of pipes that I regularly inspect. It must be your lurid imagination. Heh!  :Very Happy: 

But yes, I am a lass from Luzon. How's Miss Mindanao?  :Very Happy: 

******

@mendip - Most of the travel vloggers that I've watched have raved about Turkish food. I hope you get some shore leave and show us food pics!

****

My first encounter with Turkish food was when a Turkish guy set up a shawarma kiosk in my town many years ago. It was a hit, and some years after, several shawarma shops came out. This Turkish guy also modified his menu and served shawarma rice. The others followed. Despite the competition, his stall is still there - I'm glad that his business has survived.

When I was younger, I never thought about it. But now, I wonder what his visa status is. Maybe he's married to a local & the business is in her name. He used to man the store in the early days. Now, it's mostly his employees.

Cheers and good day/ night to all!  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Cheers and good day/ night to all!


You have such a wonderful sense of humour and grasp of the English language Katie!

----------


## Edmond

Run Katie, run.

----------


## armstrong

That's a smashing blouse you've got on, Katie.

----------


## Topper

How's things going, Mendip?

----------


## Edmond

Has quite possibly pulled Chitty.

----------


## malmomike77

I fear he's either having to put in a shift, important given he needs follow-on contracts - needs to leave a good impression.

OR

He could also be a Turkish guards playing thing, one that is likely hairier than Mendip, you can almost envisage hairballs and static electricity.

I hope for the former but fear for the latter.

----------


## happynz

Interesting...the Black Sea is deeper than I assumed. How far down do you sink that ROV (not sure if this has been asked already)?

----------


## armstrong

Do I win if the boat sunk after docking?

----------


## malmomike77

i'm still waiting for my nail clippers  :Sad:

----------


## katie23

I watched this and thought of Mendip's thread. I hope he's just shopping for shawarmas & nail clippers.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

A few questions here... I've been a bit remiss in updating the thread for a few days. 

As MalmoMike mentioned, I've been putting in a few shifts lately... the boat hasn't sunk, I didn't pull Chitty and I haven't been a Turkish Guards plaything. I don't know which would have been worse... although I guess Chitty wouldn't be so bad so long as it wasn't a dinner date.

Nah, I've just been busy, that's all. We're short of personnel which has put a lot of extra work on us... and all thanks to Covid. I'd love to blame it on Brexit but can't... Covid has made crewing boats a nightmare with last minute cancellations due to a family member or contact testing positive, and all that good stuff.

Also, for about three days I couldn't log on to TD... it kept timing out and giving the the message that 'Teakdoor was taking too long to respond'. This happened on the vessel Wifi and the work network and I thought that TD was down (all other sires were OK), but obviously not. Anyway, it seems OK again tonight. Any ideas what can cause that?

Anyway, we're well underway with the inspection of the two TurkStream pipelines and periodically have to break off inspection to install temperature sensors at designated locations. These were the equipment we had to pick up off Lowestoft all those weeks ago, en-route to Istanbul.

I mentioned before that the Black Sea is anoxic, suphurous and dead below about 150 metres water depth. This is what the seabed at 500 metres down looks like if the ROV disturbs it (by the way HNZ... we're inspecting the subsea pipelines on this job so the ROV will be just a couple of metres off the seabed, regardless of water depth - I think the maximum depth on this project is around 2.2km). Instead of the usual sand, silt of clay comprising normal sediment, here we have anaerobically decomposing organic matter... I guess to put it bluntly, concentrated Turkish, Bulgarian and Romanian decomposing turds. This stuff is really soft and the slightest disturbance ruins the visibility. There is no bottom current to speak of to clear the visibility so we have to be very careful.



Early on last week we had unseasonal bad weather with cold nor-easterly winds. Loads of birds took refuge on our boat but sadly once on a boat the usually die... I guess a combination of drinking contaminated water off the deck, no food and the cold soon finished them off. It's very sad to see and I stopped going outside for a couple of days.



There were dead birds everywhere. If they try and make a break for it, seagulls swoop down for an easy meal. They're pretty well buggered once they come on to the boat and just get weaker and weaker.



But the good news was, we had to go in to shore to clear customs to allow us to work within the 12 nautical mile limit (territorial  waters). We had started the work well offshore, but as we worked towards land a lot of birds took their chances and flew off. Hopefully they had good luck.



As we worked towards shore I saw my first fish of the trip! Usually the seabed alongside subsea pipelines is full of fish and crabs and the like, but the only fish you see in the seabed in the Black Sea is dead fish which have sunk to the seabed from the oxygenated upper levels... and then there is nothing to eat them so they just rot.

This one looked a bit fresh...



But they usually look more like this. These black nodules are also common which I think may be precipitated hydrogen sulphide nodules... or something similar.



Strangely enough, I also spotted this. It looks to be a baguette that must have been chucked over the side of a boat, got waterlogged and then sunk 200 metres down like a torpedo and become embedded into the soft seabed. I guess with no oxygen down there a French stick won't rot. This was the first time I've ever seen a baguette sticking out of the seabed.



We sailed into Igneada a little north of Istanbul to clear customs.



The first land I'd seen for a few days.



And then we waited for half a day for the immigration officials to come out to the vessel. 



This meant yet another stamp in my new passport (and also a second when we left Turkish territorial waters)... and it'll be the same at the Russian side. Along with all the stamps now needed for work in Schengen and the pages that Thai immigration seem to use up with these extensions, I can well see another passport renewal coming up early next year!  :Smile: 

This place looked nice. I haven't spent much time in this part of the world and you could easily mistake this Turkish coastal village for being on the north coast of Devon, but instead of a village church these guys have a village mosque.



Once customs was cleared, we could work within the 12 nm limit and we inspected the pipelines in to shore, to the Turkish landfall.



You can see the two trenches at the beach where the two 32inch gas pipelines make landfall and then tie into the Turkish land network. The pipelines are around 10 metres apart, and parallel all the way from the Russian coast. We managed to inspect in to around 800 metres from shore when we had to stop due to the shallow water. Around 15 metres depth is our limit.



And this was just about as far as we got on one of the pipelines (we surveyed out from shore on one, and back into shore on this one). It was importnt to complete all of the 12 nm limit work in one operations as we had a limited time allowance to stay within the territorial waters and it would be costly to have to return.



There... job done.



And then back to immigration to exit Turkey.



Since then we've been working further offshore, and after installing more temperature monitors, will gradually work our way across to Russia on one pipeline, finish the Russian territorial work, and the work back to Turkey again on the other pipeline. No port calls or crew changes will be carried out in Russia... visas are just too problematic.

There was more bad weather yesterday and the boat became inundated with little land birds. I hate to see this.

They were all sitting along the mess window sill watching me eat. I felt a bit guilty.



Poor things.



A robin sat on the MOB boat.



And a little chaffinch (I think) sat in my office port hole and watched me work.



A bit later, while engossed in my work I kind of 'sensed' something, looked down and saw this little greenfinch (I think) hopping around my office.



No way was this one going to die... so I rescued it and dribbled some water down it's throat before wishing it luck and sending it on it's way!



That was last night... tonight the weather is much better and all the birds have thankfully disappeared. We're still working reasonably close to shore so hopefully they decided to risk the journey at night so the seagulls don't see them. I wish them luck.

But probably the most disturbing thing I've seen so far this trip was this mystery sack weighted down by a breeze block, sitting on the seabed... I dread to think what gruesome contents were inside.

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

> And then we waited for half a day for the immigration officials to come out to the vessel.


You didn't feed them did you? 
I told you, once you feed them they'll never leave.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Also, for about three days I couldn't log on to TD... it kept timing out and giving the the message that 'Teakdoor was taking too long to respond'. This happened on the vessel Wifi and the work network and I thought that TD was down (all other sires were OK), but obviously not. Anyway, it seems OK again tonight. Any ideas what can cause that?


Probably the firewall or IT Manager noticed that TeakDoor is full of porn and smoochi.. .they are onto you!

----------


## ootai

Mendip You said in your post:

"We managed to inspect in to around 800 metres from shore when we had to stop due to the shallow water. Around 15 metres depth is our limit."


Does that mean the 15m is the limit for the boat or the ROV?

How does the last 800m get inspected if it is the limit of the ROV?

Glad to see you are still standing.

----------


## Headworx

> I dread to think what gruesome contents were inside.


Did that pic and X-Y get passed on to the local Navy or Cops?

 Seriously, there could be something in there that could help someone with closure (Maddie McCann sort of thing).

----------


## pickel

> Did that pic and X-Y get passed on to the local Navy or Cops?
> 
>  Seriously, there could be something in there that could help someone with closure (Maddie McCann sort of thing).


Good point, but it makes me wonder what the limits would be for the cops, in regards to the effort and costs of an operation to retrieve a mystery bag 2km deep in the Black Sea.

----------


## bsnub

> But probably the most disturbing thing I've seen so far this trip was this mystery sack weighted down by a breeze block, sitting on the seabed... I dread to think what gruesome contents were inside.


That is disturbing.

----------


## OhOh

^

US$ ?

----------


## Mendip

> Mendip You said in your post:
> 
> "We managed to inspect in to around 800 metres from shore when we had to stop due to the shallow water. Around 15 metres depth is our limit."
> 
> Does that mean the 15m is the limit for the boat or the ROV?
> 
> How does the last 800m get inspected if it is the limit of the ROV?


Ootai, you live and learn! 

I've just discovered we surveyed down to 13m water depth, which gave another 300m of inspected pipeline towards shore.

The vessel draught is 6.7m and procedure is to keep at least 5m of water between the vessel keel and seabed (with a safety margin). The ROV is on an umbilical so could travel slightly further inshore but it's hard to maintain acoustic navigation within shallow water (between vessel and ROV) so it couldn't travel too far in front of the vessel.

We use a nearshore contractor with a small boat to carry out the shallow water survey. Hopefully they will overlap with our offshore inspection to allow for some comparison of results. 


And as for the sack... all findings are reported although I doubt anything would be taken further. There's an awful lot of crap dumped at sea and it's most likely just a sack full of rubbish... I was just trying to make the job sound exciting. 

There's not many police forces with the budget to allow for underwater recovery anyway.

----------


## malmomike77

> I can well see another passport renewal coming up early next year!


Every cloud  :Smile: 




> The ROV is on an umbilical so could travel slightly further inshore but it's hard to maintain acoustic navigation within shallow water (between vessel and ROV) so it couldn't travel too far in front of the vessel.


I was wondering why the ROV couldn't carry on in as the umbilical is so long.

----------


## Mendip

^ Two main reasons really.

The umbilical is steel-armoured so sinks onto the seabed immediately. It's just too heavy for the ROV to drag along the seabed. In normal configuration with a decent water depth, the umbilical will be suspended above the ROV so most of the weight is taken by the vessel.

And as I mentioned, the parameters are all wrong to position the ROV using hydro-acoustic positioning (using multiple sound pulses from a pole attached to the vessel to a transponder on the ROV). Without the obvious risk of losing an ROV with no navigation, there is also little point in inspection a pipeline if you have no position for any findings... that is if you could even find it in the first place.

----------


## malmomike77

> We're short of personnel which has put a lot of extra work on us..


I imagine the company is quite thankful you stayed on. The bird thing i'd find hard, hate stuff like that.

----------


## MarilynMonroe

> No way was this one going to die... so I rescued it and dribbled some water down it's throat before wishing it luck and sending it on it's way!


Aw that is sweet of you. What a cute little bird. 

Anyway, I'm late on this comment, but I liked your pics of the Bridges in Istanbul. I've been to Istanbul and took a cruise along the Bosphorus back in 2010.

I recognize the bridges, but I had never seen them up close at night... great pics. I also talk to a lot of Turkish people these days on my online teaching, and recently a lady showed me a vid from her balcony and I guess there is a cruise ship docked for three or more days there. It is all lit up at night too. So, was wondering if that was your ship lol. I doubt it as this was as recent as last night. Anyway, good luck with everything.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

He’s not on a cruise ship, though he does appear to act like it swanning around all day, no work.

----------


## naptownmike

No updates? Mendip must be  keeping busy.

----------


## Joe 90

MIA!

Mendip hows it going?

----------


## Joe 90

> He’s not on a cruise ship, though he does appear to act like it swanning around all day, no work.


Ok boiler room boy, the irony.

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Yes... very busy.

This is most certainly not a cruise ship and the reason I may seem to 'swan around all day' is because I'm doing a very busy night shift! We're at least two men down due to Covid and that has put an awful lot of extra work on us if we're to keep up with acquisition and not have a huge backlog at the end of the job to take into the next project. Although, when I say "we're" I'm not including myself as I'll be long gone. This project will probably continue until the first week of December.

But... mustn't grumble of course!  :Smile: 

If you've ever wondered what the seabed looks like at the bottom of the Black Sea...



This is 150km from shore and over 2km down, and the seabed is covered with plastic crap. It's incredibly depressing but I guess the only good thing is that there's nothing living at the bottom of the Black Sea to be effected by it. It's also no-where near as bad as the seabed in the Mediterranean.



On Wednesday we had a crew change in a place called Karadeniz Ereğli on the southern coast of the Black Sea. During this crew change we went from being one man down to two men under-strength, but the good thing was that this now means that the next crew change in less than four weeks will be mine! I could have quite happily got off this damn boat this week but I guess I'll be glad of an extra 28 day's money once I get back home.



BB will be pleased to know that Karadeniz Ereğli used to be a Greek city called _Heraclea Pontica_ after the Greek mythical hero _Heracles_.

It was a pleasant looking place.



The town was nestled in a valley on the left. The clear blue morning skies were deceiving... it's very chilly here now and I'm certainly not getting any more deckchair time on the helideck.



Another port... another pilot. The Norwegian skippers can only enter Norwegian ports without a pilot and have to hand over control to someone with local knowledge when overseas.





Then we could head on in. The town was on the left but we were headed onto the industrial port area to the right.



Straight into the morning sun.



I've always been fascinated by docks and they make for some great scenery. Apparently Karadeniz Ereğli is the home of Erdemir, one of the largest steel producers in the world.



I'm not sure, but I guess this ship has been unloading iron ore to the dockyard. The conveyor belts were still while we were alongside.



As usual I accidentally pressed some damn filter on my phone when taking this pic but I think it actually came out OK... by chance.



A big difference to the view back towards the town.



And the small mouth to the harbour back out to the open sea. This was the last crew change that won't involve me... I still haven't stepped foot on Turkish soil. My turn will come in 4 weeks time in Samsun, along the coast to the east. Maybe one day I'll come back and visit this place. I've been reading a lot about Turkey since working here and have developed a real interest in returning for a look around. It'd be nice to get some food similar to the stuff Hal's been showing off in the Dinner thread as well.



After a brief period alongside we headed back out to sea to take up where we broke off 24 hours earlier. We're due at the Russian landfall on  November 1st and this date is set in stone as we have an appointment with the Russian customs to allow us to complete the 12nm territorial water work. It we're not going to make it in time we'll have to break off work and steam on across but fingers crossed we can complete one pipeline, do the coastal work, and then return on the second pipeline. The only way to make money on these contracts is to have no delays.

So...



Next stop Russia!



In fact, the next stop wasn't Russia. The ROV reached the seabed but developed an earth fault and then had to be returned to deck.  We're in nearly 2.2km of water here and it takes an hour to get the ROV to the seabed... and an hour to return it back to the surface. The OM was none too pleased.


But anyway, enough boring stuff. I try to keep these threads on topic and a few days ago I spotted this...



Yes!!! An empty tin of SPAM, 180km from shore and  2.2km down on the seabed.

Even with all their fancy kebabs the Turks obviously still enjoy a treat once in a while!

----------


## Joe 90

> Yes!!! An empty tin of SPAM, 180km from shore and 2.2km down on the seabed.


Priceless  :smiley laughing:

----------


## David48atTD

Great update *Mendip* ... nice to see things coming along.

Always love the pics and the stories behind them ... stuff I'll never get to do.

----------


## malmomike77

> ^^^ Yes... very busy.
> 
> I'm doing a very busy night shift! We're at least two men down due to Covid and that has put an awful lot of extra work on us if we're to keep up with acquisition and not have a huge backlog at the end of the job to take into the next project. 
> 
> 
> This is 150km from shore and over 2km down, and the seabed is covered with plastic crap. It's incredibly depressing but I guess the only good thing is that there's nothing living at the bottom of the Black Sea to be effected by it. It's also no-where near as bad as the seabed in the Mediterranean.


Mendip good to hear from you, only 4 weeks til you can see your mum.

I should imagine your stock has risen with the company, with bailing them out somewhat.

Its staggering to note on the first pic above that in the early days of the pipeline they had Thais working on it, clearly it didn't last but you can see where Somchai the village handyman has improvised with the ubiquitous blue PVC pipe, bless im.

It is depressing seeing all that plastic everywhere, you can only imagine how much is in all the seas, and you can only hope things improve but it'll be there for centuries and in the food chain.

Looking at the shots of the pipeline, you can see it is getting buried and soonish it'll be completely under a layer of silt.

----------


## Saint Willy

> the Turks obviously still enjoy a treat once in a while!


Bollocks to that! It was probably some foreign seafarer!

----------


## OhOh

> But... mustn't grumble of course!


£££ .....

----------


## katie23

> Bollocks to that! It was probably some foreign seafarer!


Lol. Maybe a Filipino seafarer! Filipinos love SPAM.  :Smile: 

 :spam2: 

Because of this thread, I've been inspired to watch Turkey travel vids. Hope I get to visit the area one day.

Greetings to Mendip & everyone!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> But anyway, enough boring stuff. I try to keep these threads on topic and a few days ago I spotted this...
> 
> 
> 
> Yes!!! An empty tin of SPAM, 180km from shore and  2.2km down on the seabed.
> 
> Even with all their fancy kebabs the Turks obviously still enjoy a treat once in a while!



Is that green laser light for keeping the ROV on target?

----------


## ootai

> Is that green laser light for keeping the ROV on target?


SW
I don't know for sure but I would guess that line indicates the location of the cross section of data being logged at that point in time.
If there is a fault or defect found you would need to know exactly where it is located so you could repair it or do whatever was necessary to rectify the situation.

----------


## Mendip

Wow... some pertinent on-topic discussion! Not a mention of passport renewals or SPAM to be seen.

You have pretty well nailed it Ootai. We use the laser for two main reasons.

During pipeline inspection we always collect video simultaneously from three cameras; port, centre and starboard to cover both sides and the top of the pipeline. The laser helps to keep all three cameras aligned to the same point.



As Ootai says, the laser allows any visual features to be synchronised with other data.

Everything we do relies on good navigation. The only constant there is, is time, so all data is time stamped. That is our constant and once a good position has been established, we know where the ROV was at a point in time therefore we can reduce any other time-stamped data to that same position in time.

All survey sensors are bolted on to the ROV at different locations, so in order to synchronise all data we measure the offsets of each sensor to a Common Reference Point (CRP). Time stamped depth data, sonar data, multibeam echosounder data, sub-bottom profiler data, pipetracker data etc etc is all reduced to the CRP position by use of the measured offsets and then everything is associated to the positional data for that point in time. The features along a pipeline observed visually are no different to any other data and a field joint on a pipeline (for example) will be logged at a certain time when the laser passes across it, and then the offset from the CRP to laser gives us the reduced position of the field joint in conjunction with all other data for that position. If that makes sense.

Anyway, progress has been slow and we are still 580 km from the Russian coast and are achieving around 50km a day. It is doubtful we will complete the inspection of one pipeline in time for our November 1st appointment with Russian customs without breaking off to transit there at some point.

A couple of nights ago we came across a small cluster of activity during the night shift.


Ships passing in the night...



There were a couple of Turkish drill ships with an attendant safety boat hard at work. We passed by around 4km to the north of the activity.



It seems strange to me having two ships drilling wells right next to each other.



With a bit of research I discovered that the Turks have been finding gas in the Black Sea and are carrying out a campaign of drilling in the hopes of establishing a hydrocarbon industry. I had no idea... I guess they want to reduce their reliance on Russian gas imports.

We continued on and left them to it...




But the big news for me is that the Norwegians finally posted my proof of Pfizer certificate and I've been sent a scan from home. Hopefully I can use this as proof of my first jab to the NHS once I get back to the UK in a few weeks and can then start planning my eventual return to Thailand once I obtain fully vaccinated status.

I deliberately left my Date of Birth visible in case anyone wants to send me a Birthday present next year!

----------


## Headworx

> Wow... some pertinent on-topic discussion! Not a mention of passport renewals or SPAM to be seen.


Yeah that was all getting a bit silly, but just for your future reference:


 :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Yeah that was all getting a bit silly, but just for your future reference:


I'm surprised Mendy's hasn't arranged for the mods to delete that post. The last thing he needs is the commandant finding out he does not need to travel to Bangkok for his bi monthly passport renewals.

----------


## nidhogg

> I deliberately left my Date of Birth visible in case anyone wants to send me a Birthday present next year!


My two eldest kids also have their birthday on 21 March (they are separated by one year, but same day).

----------


## Shutree

> My two eldest kids also have their birthday on 21 March (they are separated by one year, but same day).


That will make it easy for Mendip to remember to send them something.   :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I was rather hoping it would jog Nidhogg's memory so that he could send me this long-promised steak that's never turned up!  :Smile: 

The 21st March is in fact quite an auspicious date... the Spring equinox and first day of Spring, and the first day of Aries the Ram!

----------


## Saint Willy

> so that he could send me this long-promised steak that's never turned up!


You'd probably burn it and feed it to the dogs.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Anyone else thinking of popping down to Bangkok to get a new passport?...

A spare one by using the big dippers name, address d.o.b, job title, medical history, hobbies, eating habits, sexual orientation, umderpant size and dog penis photos?
It's all on here.  :Smile: 
 ...And a new pick up on the never never? :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

Do all survey companies utilise the same software packages that you use, or is there one industry standard?

How often do you attend retraining/upgrade sessions?




> return to Thailand once I obtain fully vaccinated status.


Is that mandatory now for a COE?

----------


## malmomike77

> Is that mandatory now for a COE?


depends how long you want to be banged up in an approved hotel when you land unless you get a Thai Pass and you need to have been vaccinated 14 day before hand

----------


## happynz

> The 21st March is in fact quite an auspicious date... the Spring equinox and first day of Spring,


Northern Hemisphere arrogance.

 :Very Happy:

----------


## OhOh

> and you need to have been vaccinated 14 day before hand


The previous, "clear COVID-19 test within 72 hours" option,  has been scrapped then? Or both are required?

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yes, sorry about that.

I guess it's also the Autumn equinox and first day of Autumn down your way?


^ Both are required, from my understanding.


Tonight is my 66th straight 12 hour shift and I think it's fair to say I've had enough. Another 19 to go...

We're due in Russia on Monday for a visit from the immigration department to clear us for work in territorial waters, so the delay that will cause will be a welcome break from inspecting pipelines.

This week has been all about wildlife.

A pair of seagulls have been hitching a lift for the last couple of days. I don't know whether they just want a rest or are still trying to decide if we're a fishing boat or not.



This was a small pod of Black Sea dolphins... or maybe porpoises... 

I was lucky to get a glimpse as they are quite rare and very elusive. They're certainly fast little buggers.



And the stewardess has been getting creative with my pillows. I think this is supposed to be like those swans they make out of your towels in posh hotels, but I'm not sure what animal this is supposed to be?



Any ideas?

----------


## bsnub

:rofl: 

Nothing I am aware of. How laughably odd.  :Smile:

----------


## pickel

Either she had her fists buried deep in those pillows with somebody behind her, or a lonely sailor in the room next door decided to use your bunk for some pillow vaginas. C'mon, fess up now.

----------


## happynz

> And the stewardess has been getting creative with my pillows. I think this is supposed to be like those swans they make out of your towels in posh hotels, but I'm not sure what animal this is supposed to be?


Looks like dim sum dumplings to me.  Really really big dumplings.

----------


## malmomike77

> Any ideas?


she's giving you a hint that is where she wants to rest her ankles, bit slow on the uptake Mendip.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, I must be getting tired!  :Smile: 

But in all seriousness... so it seems that someone must be using my cabin for immoral purposes. 

I've never even heard of a 'pillow vagina' FFS... not for the first time I'm reminded of what a sheltered life I have led. I know enough out here to check a watermelon hasn't been interfered with before taking a slice but I've never thought it necessary to check my pillows.

----------


## malmomike77

^ have you decided to stay 21 days in the UK to meet the Thai Pass rules? or are you winging it with the stamp out from Norway

----------


## Mendip

^ I think I'll wing it!

Three weeks in the UK will just be a bit long... I'll have been away from home for 3 months by then, and with the 14 day wait from vaccination, a long haul flight and the new 4 day requirement to stay in Bangkok, it'll be another 3 weeks until I get home anyway.

It'll be great to see my mum but 2 weeks of catching up, pies and cider will be enough!

----------


## aging one

> a long haul flight and the new 4 day requirement to stay in Bangkok,


With things changing so fast, take a look at this. It seems only 1 night in BKK and you are free to go on home. But of course that is up to you.


Rules for travellers clarified

----------


## malmomike77

^^ You should try to get a GP or someone to upload the Norwegian vaccine detail to your NHS record so that when you get your jab in the UK you'll demonstrate the two jabs on the NHS App - easy then to download your NHS COVID Pass record on PDF

----------


## Mendip

^^ Aah... you spotted that AO. 

I was just testing out my plan seeing as I've run out of passports to renew. Maybe too obvious!  :Smile: 

^ Yeah MM... I'm hoping that the Norwegian proof of vaccine can somehow be uploaded for digital proof of the double vaccination. I need to install this NHS app and try and get everything combined.

If that's not possible, maybe two separate certs, one for each vaccination, will be OK...

----------


## aging one

This seems very clear.

*1. Fully vaccinated arriving from a ‘low risk’ country*

Anyone who is fully vaccinated and arriving from one of the 46 countries deemed to be low risk must stay one night in an SHA+ certified hotel or alternative quarantine hotel for one night while they await the result of a RT-PCR test.

If the test is negative, they are free to travel anywhere in Thailand without restrictions. Thailand is calling this process ‘Test & Go’.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> lonely sailor in the room next door decided to use your bunk for some pillow vaginas


 :Smile: 
It certainly looks like the maid has placed them there as a sign of we know what you or/and mateyboy are up to :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

Mendip, the link takes you to the NHS COVID record query page, here they talk about updating record and it suggests they get updated at the point of vaccine delivery so i think your best bet is to take your Norwegian cert and evidence with you and see if they will upload that at the same time they process your 2nd jab.

https://digital.nhs.uk/coronavirus/vaccinations/covid-19-vaccination-record-queries

----------


## Saint Willy

> It certainly looks like the maid has placed them there as a sign of we know what you or/and mateyboy are up to



 ::doglol:: 

Is it a male maid?

----------


## Edmond

> Is it a male maid?


Makes no difference to Mendy, bud.

----------


## Mendip

^ Actually, it would make a very difference. A huge difference in fact.

I have no idea where this has come from, but the stewardESS is a female. 

Surprisingly enough they weren't 'pillow vaginas' and the divots weren't caused by someone's elbows as they leant over my bunk. It seems that the pillows were two rabbits, although it takes some imagination to see that.


^^^ MM77, thanks for the link. I'm starting to think that getting a Covid jab in the UK isn't going to be as straight-forward as I hoped. I have no NHS number that I know of and haven't been to a doctor's surgery since the 1990s. That one has since closed down and I have no idea if I'm registered anywhere else... all this seems important to the NHS website. I've contacted Bupa to see if I can get a jab privately and await their reply.

----------


## Saint Willy

> fact.
> 
> I have no idea where this has come from, but the stewardESS is a female.


The plot thickens…

----------


## Joe 90

Give us a shout Mendip if you're flying into Manchester!

----------


## katie23

@mendip - I see those pillows as 4 triangles. Maybe like those triangular Hershey Kisses? Maybe she's trying to send you a message?  :Very Happy: 

Good luck on getting your 2nd dose in the UK. From reports here, the UK app + digital cert is accepted in PH, so it should be accepted in most countries.

Still no pics of Turkish kebabs or Russian vodka?  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> I have no idea where this has come from, but the stewardESS is a female.



If the person cleaning your room is a LadyBoy, would the correct word be Steward or Stewardess?

----------


## Joe 90

> If the person cleaning your room is a LadyBoy, would the correct word be Steward or Stewardess?


Me personally would just call them mate!

Easy peasy and no one gets offended or upset.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Rabbits, my arse....Those pillows are positioned  for hiding the wank stains that wouldn't come out in the laundry

----------


## Stumpy

Pillows aside, I am wondering how Mendy can sleep in a bed that looks to be the size of what a small child sleeps on. Must be a real eye opener to roll out of it and hit that couch on the way to the floor or the roll over and smack your head on the wall...  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> @mendip - I see those pillows as 4 triangles. Maybe like those triangular Hershey Kisses? Maybe she's trying to send you a message?


I thought the same. Really. The closest she can get to little hearts.

Clearly a conversation starter, she just wants to be invited into the cabin to discuss the pillow aesthetics.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> that looks to be the size of what a small child sleeps on


Not Roger the cabin boy? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ I prefer that theory to she's trying to hide my 'wank stains'... of which there aren't any, of course. 

(a lesson all seafarers learn early in their careers!  :Smile: )


^^ My bunk is perfectly ample for my reduced girth (Did you know that in Nelson's time the sailors were only allotted 14 inches of space in which to hang their hammocks).

In fact, at the last crew change a couple of onsigners mentioned that I'd lost weight. If I stayed on much longer I reckon that 14 inches would be more than enough!

----------


## Shutree

> I reckon that 14 inches would be more than enough!


I suggest you ask the stewardess for her opinion on this important topic.

----------


## malmomike77

> I have no NHS number that I know of and haven't been to a doctor's surgery since the 1990s. That one has since closed down and I have no idea if I'm registered anywhere else... all this seems important to the NHS website


Have you been paying NI? if so i think your best bet is to phone the GP practice where your mum lives ahead of landing in UK (if possible) and see what they say. Your NI number if you have it, full name and DOB may be enough. Time may be against you though but hope it works out.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, I've been paying NI throughout.

I spoke to my mum about just this topic and she say's that it takes more than an hour for anyone at the surgery to answer the phone (and appointments can be offered two months into the future). What has happened to the UK?

I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this...

----------


## malmomike77

> What has happened to the UK?


It started when Labour doubled Doctors pay over 4 years, from there being allowed to go part time and many taking early retirement because their wages mean even 25 years in they can bank a good pension + the flexibility of locum work on astronomical hourly rates - all of this means its a nightmare to staff properly. COVID has also seen most face to face appointments cancelled and its proving challenging to get the GPs back into practices since the little darlings are so used to working from home. Its a catastrophic fuk up, the only way to resolve it is going to be to confront the GMC and Unions with consequential strikes etc. They almost need to start again with new contracts, all the power sits with the doctors and they can hold the country to ransom.

----------


## Stumpy

> My bunk is perfectly ample for my reduced girth (Did you know that in Nelson's time the sailors were only allotted 14 inches of space in which to hang their hammocks).


Yeah my parents sailboat had a small bed in the aft cabin. Never liked it much.  

I realize ship or boat quarters are always small. I guess it is why I couldn't do the long treks in a boat.  After living on land and having a big bed to lounge on, seeing that little bed looks uncomfortable.  

Since you are commenting on your size getting smaller, how much have you lost? And body tone noticed? It's hard to imagine losing much on a ship with your schedule.  A tremendous amount of sedentary time 12 hrs a day looking at a computer then another 8 or so sleeping.  Leaves 4 hrs a day.  How much time are you logging in the gym facility?

----------


## mudcat

The small berth (nautical term for bed) to one side of the companioway (nautical for door) is a quarter berth, very comfortable in biggish seas as your body doesn't have enough distance to accelerate much and convenient for the watch stander to roust you for your watch or to assist.

----------


## Headworx

They look like fortune cookies to me though that bite-mark seems a little odd. Is the cabin boy/girl's name Roger?

----------


## David48atTD

> Not Roger the cabin boy?



Not to Roger the cabin boy?

FTFY   :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> Since you are commenting on your size getting smaller, how much have you lost? And body tone noticed? It's hard to imagine losing much on a ship with your schedule.  A tremendous amount of sedentary time 12 hrs a day looking at a computer then another 8 or so sleeping.  Leaves 4 hrs a day.  How much time are you logging in the gym facility?


... this pls

----------


## Saint Willy

> Since you are commenting on your size getting smaller, how much have you lost? And body tone noticed? It's


Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, right!

^^ As this seems to be of interest, despite my efforts not to turn this into a dieting and fitness thread...

I haven't weighed meself as I'm saving that for a surprise on my last shift but I just look at myself side-on in the mirror and I reckon that I've lost a few kilos. I'm deliberately avoiding that 'buffed' look as it'll just cause too many questions when I get home.

I do an hour in the gym at 10pm most nights and reckon that I've managed 3 out of 4 nights on average throughout the trip so far. I haven't had a drink in nearly 10 weeks so there must be a lot fewer calories flowing through my body than usual. In fact, once I get off this damn boat in the middle of next month I'll have gone over 12 weeks without a drink... probably the longest I've gone for around 40 years since being a teenager.





> Give us a shout Mendip if you're flying into Manchester!


Will do for sure Joe although I'm hoping to land in Bristol. If I make it, let's eat out... my treat!  :Smile: 





> @mendip - I see those pillows as 4 triangles. Maybe like those triangular Hershey Kisses? Maybe she's trying to send you a message?





> Rabbits, my arse....Those pillows are positioned  for hiding the wank stains that wouldn't come out in the laundry


I've now had it from the horses mouth that they were two rabbits. I've asked her to make a swan out of my towel next time so we'll see how good she really is. And her name's not Roger, by the way.

And I really can't believe I'm responding to this, but all laundry is done at 60 degrees and it would take some special kind of stain not to come out at that temperature.





> Have you been paying NI? if so i think your best bet is to phone the GP practice where your mum lives ahead of landing in UK (if possible) and see what they say. Your NI number if you have it, full name and DOB may be enough. Time may be against you though but hope it works out.


Well Mike, I'm making some progress. 

Bupa aren't interested in helping, but after some investigation I reckon I'll be able to just turn up at a 'drop in centre' and get my second Pfizer. For example, next week I could have gone to a pharmacy in Wedmore that is only a short drive away from my mum's place. The problem may be getting everything uploaded in one place, but I'm working on that and yesterday downloaded the NHS app to make a start. I may have to just resort to having two separate paper certificates which I think should be OK. 

My next problem is finding out my NHS number. I thought I was getting somewhere yesterday but as part of the verification process they sent a text message to my phone... only we're slap bang in the middle of the Black Sea right now so I've got no signal. I also tried to make a bank transfer on Friday but had the same problem... NatWest have taken to randomly sending verification codes by text which is great if you have mobile phone coverage but no good when you're at sea... or in remote parts of Somerset for that matter. But I have two weeks to sort all this out and on Monday at 9am we have an appointment with the Russian customs at a small port called Anapa, close to Novorossiysk. Hopefully then I'll be able to receive a text message to discover my NHS number... and send the missus some money so she can replace four tyres on the Vigo which seems to have become an issue. I'll be happy, she'll be happy... what more can I ask!

I am so looking forward to the day when I can just get on a flight and go somewhere without having to do all this shit.

----------


## malmomike77

> yesterday downloaded the NHS app to make a start.


Mendip is it worth being flexile with your Thailand return date, it strikes me the although you are desperate to see your daughter it may pay dividends to sort out your NHS status and GP whilst in the UK. Worth a week or so long term.

----------


## Saint Willy

> And her name's not Roger, by the way.


Perhaps it’s Bob?

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, you're right Mike. 

I have over two weeks while still on board and another two weeks once I get back to the UK and hopefully that'll be enough. I think that I'll have the NHS number/doctor/doctor surgery issues sorted out before I get back to the UK and also hopefully will be able to get registered on this NHS app thing and find out whether I can upload my Noggy Pfizer certificate.

I found in Norway that everyone was very helpful but the hard part was just making contact with the right people.

----------


## malmomike77

You've paid your stamp and although you don't intend residing in the UK, now may be a time where you get your records in order before your mother passes. Sorry to be so blunt, but get your anchors sorted in the UK whilst its easier and mum gives you a reason to be there. You may or not be intending to be in the UK long term but you've paid in and it would be stupid not to get a record sorted, imagine being able to fly back to the UK and getting treatment because you have an NHS number.

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, definitely.

I've paid Class 4 and now Class 3 NI throughout the years... a no brainer really if a hundred or so quid a year will get me a state pension (I think).

It seems that I do have an NHS number but I just have to find out what it is! It has been a huge advantage having my mum still living in the house we grew up in. I've constantly been asked for name and Post Code, which amazingly seems to have led back to decades old records.

----------


## malmomike77

^ Mendip, you have paid in and that is what counts, now don't be stupid for the sake for a few weeks, get your NHS records sorted. Its not just a one off jab its a right to access primary care in the UK for life and you have paid for that. Sort it out!!

----------


## Mendip

^ I'm on it!

By the way Mike, I owe you a thank you.

I seem to remember you posted a picture of a Terry's Exploding Chocolate Orange a while ago? I'd never heard of these before and included a few with an online order from Asda (Daddies Sauce, tinned kippers, SPAM and the like).

My daughter will love 'em!

----------


## malmomike77

> Terry's Exploding Chocolate Orange


it was new to me too, its for winners  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

@mendip - re: the pillows, well rabbits are known to be very (re)productive. Maybe another hint?  :Very Happy:  

btw most Filipinos like Hersheys chocolates

No Surstromming for the online Asda order?  :Very Happy:

----------


## Mendip

^ Katie, I guess I'll have to get used to this attention now that I've lost some weight!

And that Surstromming... that was this time last year I tried that and I can still taste it. Food from hell.

----------


## Headworx

> I am so looking forward to the day when I can just get on a flight and go somewhere without having to do all this shit.


Has Brexit affected you in any ways?

----------


## Mendip

^ Apart from losing a load of work due to it no longer being possible to work onshore in Norway, being limited to 90 days work in any 180 day period elsewhere in Europe, now spending hours in the 'All Passport' queues at European airports, having to visit immigration offices when joining/leaving a vessel, filling up passport pages at a rate of knots due to all the extra stamps now given and watching my pound slump... hardly at all to be honest.

----------


## Headworx

Yeah but _besides_ all that, has Brexit had any real affect?



Sorry mate, couldn't help myself  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> Perhaps its Bob?


Bob Down(e)  :bj3:

----------


## Shutree

> imagine being able to fly back to the UK and getting treatment because you have an NHS number.


Technically, he can't. I am lifelong fully paid up on my NI but if they realise that you are not ordinarily resident you have to pay. It sucks.

Economic migrant refugee, free. British born and fully paid, pay again.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Bob Down(e)



more like this Bob

----------


## katie23

@shutree or any UK person - is there a residency requirement (how many days per year) for a UK citizen to be able to access NHS services? Just curious... TIA...

(It was via TD that I learned that the UK pension is index-linked in PH, but not in TH. Prior to that, I didn't even know about "index-linked" pensions. TD is still a fount of info.)

----------


## Mendip

> On another matter, I studied your Black Sea nearly-a-dolphin picture and  realise that you are now vying with me for the TD Wildlife Photographer  of the Year title.


Vying with and surpassing!  :Smile: 

All it takes is perseverance Shutree... 



The Black Sea Common Dolphin!



We had a big pod around the boat this morning.

----------


## malmomike77

Definitely a job in the BBC wildlife unit in Bristol waiting for you  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> @shutree or any UK person - is there a residency requirement (how many days per year) for a UK citizen to be able to access NHS services? Just curious... TIA...


Sorry, I don't know the exact details. According to the Interwebby, if you are a UK national who has lived outside the UK for 3 months in the past year then you _can_ be charged.
_
Entitlement to Free NHS Hospital Treatment by Non-Resident UK Citizens
This leaflet has been compiled to explain the entitlement requirements for free NHS hospital treatment in the UK for Non-Resident UK Citizens
• The NHS does not normally provide free hospital treatment for people who do not reside in the UK even if they are UK nationals.


_https://www.essexlmc.org.uk/wp-conte...UKcitizens.pdf

That doesn't mean that I'd automatically be charged, some doctors make a point of not asking. Emergency care in A&E should still be free. Cancer treatment, I'd probably have to pay.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Cancer treatment, I'd probably have to pay.


I very much doubt that, . Anyone can get life saving treatment  here for free...If you state you are back in the UK to stay you won't have to pay for anything.

The covid vaccines are free to anyone who is in the UK. Mendip just wants it all in one place on the NHS app, I believe...of which he will need an NHS number.

The surgery waiting times aren't as bad as Mendips mother says and if he just registers at a doctors he will get one. 

I think it was about a week or 2 weeks for the wife to get an NHS number after I registered her with my GP.

Although I did have to pay 1300 pounds to the fukkin NHS for her.

Filthy swashbuckling whoremongering Bremoaners should be charged too, I reckon :UK:

----------


## Shutree

> The covid vaccines are free to anyone who is in the UK. Mendip just wants it all in one place on the NHS app, I believe...of which he will need an NHS number.


Yes, Covid jabs are free to anyone. There are walkin centres my children used and I doubt they know their NHS numbers. It will probably be on the computer.

For Mendip, I took my NHS number off one of those letters they sent to  my past address, forwarded because I pay the Post Office. I think it was an invitation for routine screening. Does your mum ever receive anything like that for you?

----------


## malmomike77

Mendip, the NHS app provides a lovely PDF with your details on for each jab and a nice QR code. That's where the good news ends. The ThaiPass site which i have been playing with asks you to upload all docs as jpegs. How many of us get our travel insurance in jpegs, NHS COVID docs etc . Its going to be fun  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ That's strange... for my CoE I uploaded all documents as PDF, but I guess it's no problem to convert everything to Jpeg, or just print everything out and take a decent picture. I'll have to remember to print all my documents before leaving the boat.

Further research leads me to believe that getting a second Pfizer jab in the UK will be no problem. Today we're just off the Russian coast and I got mobile phone signals enabling me to register on the NHS app. I used my past Post Code etc and it all seems OK. I had to upload a picture of my UK Driving License and then record a little video of me saying some numbers which I also had to upload and now I have to wait a day or so while it's being processed for proof or ID. 

My plan is to get a jab, have it uploaded onto this app and then print it off... that'll give me two paper copies. I'll try and see if I can get my Norwegian jab uploaded but I don't think that'll be possible. Regardless, things are moving along nicely.





> Yes, Covid jabs are free to anyone. There are walkin centres my children used and I doubt they know their NHS numbers. It will probably be on the computer.
> 
> For Mendip, I took my NHS number off one of those letters they sent to  my past address, forwarded because I pay the Post Office. I think it was an invitation for routine screening. Does your mum ever receive anything like that for you?


Thanks Shutree, I've got no letters but I emailed the doctor's surgery asking if they can send me my NHS Number, and also when I registered with this NHS app it let me see the last 4 digits of my NHS number, so it seems to be out there and linked to my name. Hopefully I'll be able to see the rest of the digits once I've passed the ID process but all said and done it doesn't seem like I'll need it. I think that I'll be heading back to Thailand early December fully jabbed up, no problem!





> Definitely a job in the BBC wildlife unit in Bristol waiting for you


Wouldn't it be great to follow in Johnny Morris's footsteps! I've been considering a change in career path for the past 20 years or so.

Yesterday I took this shot of some Black Sea jelly fish.



Last night we broke off work and headed towards the Russian coast to clear immigration to allow us to work in the 12 nautical mile limit. We've got quite a few days work scheduled within the Russian territorial waters.

This is where we are. 



We first headed in to Novorossiysk and then on up the coast to Anapa. There's very strict corridors that foreign shipping has to adhere to. Here's the Russian coast in this part of the world.





Prince Charles would be well impressed with the sympathetic architecture that just blends into the landscape.



This looks a bit ominous...



On we headed to the north.



I took a little peak off the front of the helideck and there were more Black Sea Common Dolphins riding on the bow wave. I'm starting to think these aren't quite as rare as I at first thought. They're bladdy everywhere!



We've seen quite a lot of dead dolphins on the seabed but it's hard to know if they're dying off regularly or whether once dead and lying on the seabed they just stay there without decomposing. The anoxic conditions at the seabed in the Black Sea stops anything rotting, preserving the dead bodies seemingly forever. Guys I know who have worked on the Bluestream Pipelines, also across the Black Sea between Russia and Turkey, say that every year they see the same dead dolphin that's been there at least since 2005.

These guys were very much alive and having a whale of a time.



Pictures don't do them justice. They effortlessly ride the bow wave with no signs of any movement.




And another... just cos I can!




But enough of that. We had some good geology on the way up to Anapa to divert my attention away from the dolphins.



We just had to round this headland and get into the bay. The dolphins left us about here, maybe the water gets a bit polluted?



And then we reached Anapa and had to wait out in the bay for the immigration officials... 

... and wait...



And wait...

Anapa is apparently a Black Sea resort for Russians in the summer. Nice beaches.



And a well protected anchorage as well.



I bet those beaches would be packed in the summer. Do the Russians sunbathe topless I wonder?



Eventually a boat turned up with a gang of Russian sprayers. They went around our ship spraying everywhere against Covid.

After this the immigration people turned up, a whole load of 'em. We had to do what they call 'Face Time', comparing everyone to their Passports and Seaman's Books. Once this got going it actually went quite fast which was good for yours truly on the nightshift. Now we just have to wait for clearance to start work. There's a big Russian holiday on for 5 days which won't help, neither will a lot of lockdowns currently in place in Russia which has a huge Covid problem just now. We could be waiting for ages.

Still, at least we're sheltered and the sea's nice and calm.



This is where we are... just east of the Crimean Peninsular. 



This is just about the furthest east we'll be on this project and once the Russian coastal work is finished we have many hundreds more kilometres of pipeline to inspect between Russia and Turkey. 

That's not all my problem though... just two more weeks to go for me. November 17th is my crew change when I will finally step on dry land again for first time since getting cold and wet in Haugesund, on the west coast of Norway back in September.

----------


## malmomike77

> I have to wait a day or so while it's being processed for proof or ID.


Fingers crossed

----------


## Headworx

> Do the Russians sunbathe topless I wonder?


They most certainly do when in Thailand, one might assume they do at home too.

----------


## Mendip

^ Nice.

We don't get action like that up in Korat. In fact the closest I get is my old Ja Dong neighbour who tends to go braless. She's nearly 80 and is so stooped over when she walks I can't help but see down the front of her baggy tops.

----------


## bsnub

> We don't get action like that up in Korat.


 :popcornpop:

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ Nice.
> 
> We don't get action like that up in Korat. In fact the closest I get is my old Ja Dong neighbour who tends to go braless. She's nearly 80 and is so stooped over when she walks I can't help but see down the front of her baggy tops.



Perving on grannies! You oughta be ashamed, Mendy!

----------


## Topper

> Perving on grannies! You oughta be ashamed, Mendy!


Well, not everyone is up to the task..

----------


## malmomike77

> She's nearly 80 and is so stooped over when she walks I can't help but see down the front of her baggy tops.


Have you considered the mental anguish you've caused the poor lady. Bending over in your silk wicking sweat stained skids with all those folds exposed and more hair than a soi dog, she probably thinks two can play at that game.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Filthy swashbuckling whoremongering Bremoaners should be charged too, I reckon



You seem to know some unsavory types.

But just on the off-chance you're aiming those insults at me, I can refute every one... although I'll go along with 'swashbuckling', I don't mind that.





> Fingers crossed


Just to show the power of perseverance...


Tonight at the start of my shift I had two emails waiting for me.

One from the NHS...

_The information, photo and video you sent us passed our checks.
  You can now use your NHS login to access NHS App.
  You may need your NHS number to use some services.
  Your NHS number is xxxxxxxxxx.  _ 


And the second from my doctor's surgery, where it seems I have been registered for the past 40 years, although I'd imagine there are new doctors since the 1980s.


_Thank you for contacting Mendip's Doctor's Surgery.

  You are still registered with Mendip's Doctor's Surgery and your NHS number is xxxxxxxxxx.

  The easiest way to get booked in for your vaccine is going to be to call 119, they will be able to book you in for any of the clinics locally.

  Kind Regards   _ 


So, it's all systems go. All I have to do is stay sane for another two weeks on this damn boat, get meself back to the UK while avoiding any Turkish stamps in the passport I'll enter Thailand on, get a second Covid jab as soon as I arrive in the UK and then sit back to eat pies and drink cider while waiting 14 days to get my fully vaccinated status. 

Oh, and sort out my entry to Thailand on this Thailand Pass thingy.

----------


## Saint Willy

All the best Mendy

----------


## katie23

@mendip - safe travels. Hang in there, it's just 2 more weeks. Btw have you said "maganda ka pa sa umaga" (you're more beautiful than the morning) to the Filipina stewardess? If you're planning to make a move, you should do it soon I think!  :Very Happy: 

@shutree - thnx for the answer. Re: being eligible for the NHS (or other countries' govt health services), I think if one paid for the contributions then one should be able to access it. 

IIRC, Crackerjack/ Jandajoy flew regularly to Australia to get cancer treatment (pre-covid). Then covid happened & he was unable to go to Oz for treatment. May he RIP.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> have you said "maganda ka pa sa umaga" (you're more beautiful than the morning) to the Filipina stewardess?


If you put that into Google translate it comes out as "You are still beautiful in the morning" not "more beautiful than the morning"

Sounds like something Mendy would jovially utter on one of his passport runs at dawn to some chew your arm off  ladybloke munter with one eyebrow, run make up and raging boner.

Uudelleenohjausilmoitus

----------


## Mendip

^ I decided against clicking on that link at work... I don't know why!  :Smile: 

I'm curious... if I did take a 'ladybloke' back to a hotel room, which I'm not gonna do of course, why would I choose one with only one eyebrow?

Anyway, that particular Filipina stewardess left the boat nearly four weeks ago so we'll never know... and I'm not gonna try out that phrase on Lui the night cook!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I'm curious... if I did take a 'ladybloke' back to a hotel room, which I'm not gonna do of course, why would I choose one with only one eyebrow?


They don't start off with one eyebrow, or even owning a penis for that matter. 
Can't just be me, can it? :Smile: 

There was nothing sinister in the link, just an explanation of munters/mingers/chew your arm off birds/two baggers/ the coyote ugly :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I think maybe it can!

Anyway, what did you think of the dolphins?

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Anyway, what did you think of the dolphins?


I know they are mammals but I prefer women tbh

----------


## malmomike77

> So, it's all systems go.


That's excellent - i note that lack of praise for the system. Its not all broken in the UK.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

I was just about to say how good the system is!

I am impressed but will reserve any further praise until I actually get the vaccine in my arm.

----------


## malmomike77

If you are over 50 get your Flu jab too. That you can arrange through most pharmacies on line.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I am impressed but will reserve any further praise until I actually get the vaccine in my arm


They were injecting people in nightclubs. 

Dunno about Bristol's Spearmint Rhino :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> _Your NHS number is xxxxxxxxxx_


Great, at least you got one which is easy to remember ... they do that for older fuckers  :Smile: 







> _The easiest way to get booked in for your vaccine is going to be to  call 119, they will be able to book you in for any of the clinics  locally._


I wonder how many dyslexic fookers dial 911 instead!

----------


## Mendip

^ The emergency number's 999 in the UK so I should be OK... I rarely get two out of three numbers wrong!





> They were injecting people in nightclubs. 
> 
> Dunno about Bristol's Spearmint Rhino


^ I had to look that up as well... you seem to have a low opinion of me.

I've been reading that all the injecting going on in clubs at the moment is with date rape drugs and stuff. I don't fancy any of that.





> If you are over 50 get your Flu jab too. That you can arrange through most pharmacies on line.


Good thinking Mike, I may as well get my money's worth!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I had to look that up as well... you seem to have a low opinion of me.


Nothing wrong or lowly about gentlemans clubs...is there?

Where do you normally hang out in Bristol then?

I guess I'll be better off meeting up with Mike the Mo and No Nut Joe then.

----------


## Mendip

^ I rarely go in to see the bright lights these days. I'm more of a leaning on the bar of a quiet village pub with a pint of cider kind of person. 

If you're interested in meeting up I prefer the afternoons before it gets too busy!

----------


## malmomike77

> Good thinking Mike, I may as well get my money's worth!


I did mine through boots, easy to sign up.

https://www.boots.com/online/pharmacy-services/winter-flu-jab-services/

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks Mike, I've never had a flu jab before so wouldn't have thought of this. 

I checked and I can get this done in the Boots on Weston-Super-Mare High Street which is great as I was planning a visit there one day anyway... there's a butcher's just around the corner where I can get a rabbit for my mum to turn into a pie!

We're now into the third day of waiting on immigration in the bay just off Anapa. Immigration came out on Monday to check the crews' Passports and Seaman's Books and then came out yesterday to check serial numbers of the ship's engine and stuff. Now we wait... this is on the Client's tab so no problem really within reason. 



We have around 10 days work to do within the territorial waters and a crew change scheduled in Turkey two weeks today, so to prevent any delays we really need to get started tomorrow since we may take another 2 or 3 days to clear immigration to exit Russian waters, plus a day to get across to Turkey. They want to finish all the coastal work in one campaign to prevent having to go through this immigration ordeal a second time and I really don't want any delays to the next crew change... it's my crew change!

There's a nice big wheel and roller coaster on Anapa beach, although they don't look very active.



And what looks like a water slide. I reckon it could be an OK place to visit in the summer.

----------


## Edmond

> I wonder how many dyslexic fookers dial 911 instead!





> The emergency number's 999 in the UK so I should be OK


Possible info tidbit. 

I read before that if you dial the emergency service number of most countries - 911, 999, etc, it will auto redirect to your host country's emergency services.

----------


## Mendip

^ Why don't you test that theory out?

(maybe use the missus' phone though...)

----------


## Edmond

I did it yesterday after receiving a red repo.

----------


## bsnub

Mendy there is a thread here About a US sub collision in the south china sea. The US is claiming they hit an undersea mountain. You are an expert at all things at the bottom of the ocean. How likely do you think that story is?

Wouldn't sonar have seen that?

----------


## OhOh

> Wouldn't sonar have seen that?


Was the subs sonar switched on?

I'm sure all will be revealed at the captain's court-martial.

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Topper

> Wouldn't sonar have seen that?


Subs almost never use active sonar, anyone listening will know where they're at.

----------


## CalEden

It has been determined it was an uncharted geological obstruction.

----------


## OhOh

> It has been determined i


I don't suppose you have a link to the international inquiry, and it's published "determination", to share with us?

 ::chitown::

----------


## cyrille

> I don't suppose you have a link to the *international inquiry,* and it's published "determination", to share with us?



Where did he say that?

What country would have an 'international inquiry' after such an event? China? 

 :smiley laughing: 

You're almost as disingenuous as FaRT.

And 'its'.

----------


## Shy Guava

> It has been determined it was an uncharted geological obstruction.


So it's turned out to be Mendip's fault then? What use is all this high priced technology and personnel when they can't even see mountains in the South China Sea from the Blaxk Sea? Cunning Chinese have probably sprinkled these things all over the place. Mendip will have to crank his forward facing camera up a few notches to be safe as the Russkies might also have the technology.

----------


## Mendip

^ I don't think it's really fair to pin this on me.





> Wouldn't sonar have seen that?





> Subs almost never use active sonar, anyone listening will know where they're at.


I haven't followed this story but I do know that any sonar (even if it's turned on) is only as good as the operator. Our ROVs have forward facing 'Obstacle Avoidance Sonar' (OAS) but several times I've known an ROV pilot to nod off on the job and fly the ROV into an under water obstruction. It would seem strange for a submarine skipper to do this with his submarine but you have to remember that working at sea is probably 90% monotony and routine and it's easy to lose concentration. You'd like to think a submarine would have some alarms going off before a collision though.

Strangely enough, we've been having a problem flying into tree trunks. There seems to be loads of big tree trunks sticking vertically out of the seabed in the Black Sea and it seems that the logs must drift about until they become waterlogged and then sink vertically down like spears and embed themselves into the soft seabed. I have no idea why there are more in the Black Sea than anywhere else I've worked... maybe because due to the anoxic conditions and absence of bottom current these tree trunks just remain on the seabed forever. Maybe they're tens or even hundreds of years old? But my point is that the OAS doesn't detect these tree trunks and they're proving a problem for the ROV pilots (SG - the cameras are pointing inwards to the pipelines for the inspection). I guess the logs are similar in density to water and having rounded edges they deflect away the sonar pulses rather then reflect them back to the sonar receptor. 

Maybe this 'underwater mountain' was made of soft sediment and wasn't detected by sonar? It's unusual to get unidentified 'mountains' made of rock, and rock should be detected by sonar I would have thought. There are features known as mud volcanoes in the deep ocean... just a thought.


Anyway, seeing as this COP26 is currently underway, to get on the environmental topic here's a timely reminder of where your litter ends up. Right slap bang in the middle of the Black Sea, 150km from land, here was a kid's pink party balloon lying on the seabed... where it will remain forever.

----------


## David48atTD

So Mendip ... what do you do to while away the hours/days while waiting for the Russian Customs?

Plenty of gym time I hope  :Smile: 


BTW, we had Steak and Kidney Pie with mash and a sprinkling of fresh garden peas   :Smile: 
















Credit

----------


## armstrong

> Possible info tidbit. 
> 
> I read before that if you dial the emergency service number of most countries - 911, 999, etc, it will auto redirect to your host country's emergency services.


My daughter asked me what the emergency number was in Thailand and I told her 112 but it turns out I was thinking of 1112 which is for Pizza Company.

----------


## Headworx

> Plenty of gym time I hope


Quit your shit stirring *David58*, you may not know that being _heavy_ was considered a good way to not get taken hostage by sailors in days of yore.

----------


## Mendip

^ So what are you saying HW... that I'm in danger of getting kidnapped?





> So Mendip ... what do you do to while away the hours/days while waiting for the Russian Customs?
> 
> Plenty of gym time I hope 
> 
> BTW, we had Steak and Kidney Pie with mash and a sprinkling of fresh garden peas


David68, sadly I was doing exactly the same as before... 12 hour night shifts (plus an hour in the gym of course). We could have waited on the Russians for another two weeks and I'd have still had more than enough work to catch up on. We were cleared last night so the ship's working again and we have data pouring in. I'll be busy until I get off this damn boat in 13 days time.

Not that I'm counting or anything!

And thanks for showing me that picture of a pie. I'm not one to be critical but there weren't enough peas for my taste... and those chunks of beef were a bit on the large side... and what's that green stuff in the mash? 

And surely that wasn't puff pastry???

I'll show you a picture of a proper steak and kidney pie in 14 days time... it's on order from my mum.

----------


## Headworx

> So what are you saying HW... that I'm in danger of getting kidnapped?


Nah mate, you're as safe as the bank  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> David 68 kgs


You rang  :Smile:

----------


## David48atTD

> ... and what's that green stuff in the mash?


Garlic Chives ... we grow them in the garden.

Usually used for Thai gushi/guichai ... กุยช่ายทอด

----------


## Saint Willy

> thanks for showing me that picture of a pie. I'm not one to be critical but there weren't enough peas for my taste... and those chunks of beef were a bit on the large side... and what's that green stuff in the mash?


I reckon you’d smash that pie if it was put in front of you right now.

how about this brisket?

----------


## Mendip

^It doesn't look too bad I guess... but I'm still gonna save meself for my mum's steak and kidney pie!

Rabbit pie ordered for Day 2.

----------


## Reg Dingle

This should set him off for another hour's 'gym' time.

----------


## David48atTD

^ ...  :rofl:

----------


## Saint Willy

> This should set him off for another hour's 'gym' time.



 ::doglol:: 

Green owed.

----------


## Mendip

Thank God for the gift of humour.

You guys really eat stuff like that? I feel sorry for you... I get the option of genuine Filipino food every single day!

And today was no exception...



We're busy working again and after this weekend I can say that I've only got one weekend to go. 

Yes, just twelve more shifts!

We're installing stuff on the pipelines down on the seabed at the moment so the work ROV and crane re working together. This is really shite work for me as the ship's crane blocks the internet signals.



The crane lowers down a basket of equipment to the seabed around 500 metres down...



And the ROV collects the equipment and installs it.



There's some nice scenery in this part of the world.



^ That was yesterday, but we have a better day today.

----------


## bsnub

Very cool! Mendy you post the best threads.  :Smile:

----------


## Buckaroo Banzai

I was thinking of you as I read this article where while doing a survey of the bottom of the Aegean south of the Peloponnese, for the construction of an underwater interconnection. they discovered a 2500 year old shipwreck. 
 
2500-year-old shipwreck discovered during seabed survey to lay power cable off Kythera (video)

----------


## Saint Willy

> You guys really eat stuff like that? I feel sorry for you... I get the option of genuine Filipino food every single day!


You lucky, lucky bastard!

----------


## bsnub

> You lucky, lucky bastard!


WTF is wrong with you people?  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> WTF is wrong with you people?



perhaps I missed the smilie.

----------


## OhOh

> We're installing stuff


So what was being installed on the pipeline?

----------


## Mendip

^^ Good stuff BB... I've come across occasional shipwrecks over the years during new route surveys but nothing as interesting as that. We tend to find small fishing boats or colliers.

^ OhOh, we're installing permanent targets for photogrammetry. We're in deep water so there's no risk of damage/loss of installations from trawling and the permanent targets enable very accurate year on year comparison of relative pipeline position. Once the targets are installed, thousands of still photographs can be processed to produced a very detailed and accurate 3D model of the seabed. This is is a relatively new technique offshore but developing fast.

There's a steep seabed slope off the coast and potential axial (longitudinal) pipeline movement due to gravity is a concern, as is lateral movement due to thermal expansion.


A couple of days ago while we were waiting for customs clearance off Anapa there was a drone buzzing around the boat. We found out why yesterday... we made the local news.



This picture makes the boat look really small and I can't believe I've spent nearly 11 weeks on here. 

Still, only 10 days to go!

----------


## Joe 90

> Still, only 10 days to go!


Stop counting the days!!!

It's like clock watching, it'll only go slower. 

Get pumping it up in the gym or take up chess so you can beat your daughter. 
How about sudoku?

Won't be long till you're balls deep in pie, cheese and cider mate :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^^You could have added some English colour to that by strutting around the helideck in your wicking trollies and doing a workout session.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Won't be long till you're balls deep in pie, cheese and cider mate


Im not sure that’s how you’re supposed to enjoy pies, cheese and cider

----------


## Mendip

^^^ I'm counting the hours mate... I've had enough now. 

I was in the gym for an hour again tonight and definitely feel fitter than I was 3 months ago. I reckon my gut's gone in a fair bit.

As for chess... I have to do everything myself out here and chess ain't easy on your own.

^^ Mike, I do actually have a couple of pairs with me out here but out of respect for my colleagues I like to keep them covered up. Besides, when we first saw the drone we thought it may have been the KGB checking us out and I didn't want to cause an incident.

If you look at that picture, just above and to the left of the MOB boat you can see two big rectangular windows at the bottom level of the yellow superstructure. Those are the mess windows and I was looking out of the window on the right but you can't quite make me out.

----------


## malmomike77

^ all good spy movies contain an outrageously camp scene with someone doing what appears to be normal but fluffed up. You could have pulled that off and explained it away to the Norwegians as you just distracting the Ruskies. I feel you've missed the opportunity to earn browine points.

----------


## Mendip

^ Maybe, but at least I've kept what little remains of my self respect!

----------


## malmomike77

In other news, what's your opinion on Sausage and beans in a tin, I like em.

----------


## malmomike77

^^ you could have gone down in history.

----------


## Saint Willy

> some English colour to that by strutting around the helideck in your wicking trollies and doing a workout session


Thats an imagine I did not want nor need in my brain!

----------


## katie23

@mendy - just a few more days, hang in there!

Btw, in the recent pic - was that SPAM? I noticed that Lui (the cook) made the effort to put cilantro leaves for color.  :Very Happy:

----------


## OhOh

> permanent targets for photogrammetry


Like this ?



ELCOVISON 10 Demoversion - ELCOVISION 10 English

Are they on a pole "stuck" along the top of the pipe?

----------


## Reg Dingle



----------


## David48atTD

^  No Seamen reference?

----------


## Headworx

When his Doctor told him at that weight he could have a stroke at any time, it seems like the message was taken the wrong way  :Sad:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ FFS... what about all the good things I do?  :Smile: 

^^^^ Yes, OhOh, exactly like that. A few targets are installed along the top of a pipeline using magnetic brackets at each station, along with targets installed on blocks on the seabed alongside so that relative movement can be measured. Thanks for your continued mature and pertinent questions!


^ Edit: Just to be clear, I think I'm now well below this so called 'obese' level and maybe even below 'fat bastard' level. I'll find out next week.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Edit: Just to be clear, I think I'm now well below this so called 'obese' level and maybe even below 'fat bastard' level. I'll find out next week.


Ill bet you are! Excessive wanking leads to weight loss!

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Excessive wanking leads to weight loss!


Muscle is heavier than fat

----------


## Mendip

^ I can tell that's photoshopped because the edge of the pool has bulged as well.

That's made me feel a bit home sick to be honest. I miss my dogs and try not to think about them too much when I'm away...  :Sad: 

But on a more serious note, I've heard about this muscle being heavier than fat thing and am already prepared for less weight loss than I was aiming for. I've been doing weights as well as cardio stuff.

----------


## happynz

Either that's an extremely detailed statuette of a bovine, you and your dogs are exceedingly huge, or you're a mad scientist who has successfuly bred the world's smallest cattle.

----------


## OhOh

> your continued mature


Way past "mature", reverted back to a stroppy, live for today, teenager, a decade or so ago. Too many accommodating Thai ladies.

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

My carbon footprint reduction plan has been working for a few years. 




I even walk to the local shop during daylight, unheard of it seems here in the jungle. 

After sundown, the dog packs claim precedence.

----------


## Mendip

> Either that's an extremely detailed statuette of a bovine, you and your dogs are exceedingly huge, or you're a mad scientist who has successfuly bred the world's smallest cattle.


It's option 1. My dogs are normal size and the only huge part of me these days seems to be my left biceps... I don't know why.

I bought that white cow many years ago in Dan Kwian, the pottery village a few miles south of Korat. It's solid clay and weighs a bladdy ton as opposed to most of the flimsy hollow animal statues that constantly get broken by the dogs.


A few weeks ago I showed a few pics of the Turkish landfall of the TurkStream pipelines at the Turkish coast. Over the last few days we've been surveying the Russian nearshore area where the gas starts it's journey, south-westwards across the Black Sea.



The two pipelines were pulled into tunnels bored beneath that cliff.



To the north we have Anapa...



And further to the south, Novorossiysk. I guess this small settlement is workers' accommodation for the gas plant.



The two tunnels were bored subsea beneath this cliff, the other side of which the offshore pipelines are tied into the land pipeline network. As before, 16m water depth was about our limit and this was as close in as we could get. That discarded, buoyed up fishing net didn't help things either.



Some nicely folded bedding planes...



That was one nearshore pipeline setion completed. We couldn't just survey outwards on the other pipeline was we have to survey up-slope, towards shore, in this area where the seabed slopes up steeply from the abyssal plane. 



The ROV was recovered for us to transit out to work on the second pipeline, up-slope, towards shore.





Once the nearshore areas within the Russian territorial waters are finished, we have to clear customs and then complete the inspections of the intervening 900 odd kilometres of each pipeline between Russia and Turkey. But when I say 'we', I should say 'they'... as it's not my problem.

Eight days to go!

----------


## OhOh

> Eight days to go!


Don't lose your focus.

Has the company have any work earmarked for you, when you become available, next year?

----------


## Topper

The water looks beautiful there...what's the average temp? I'm guessing nut shriveling...

----------


## Mendip

^^ There is work next year OhOh, the industry's becoming very busy, very fast as the world comes out of Covid.

 The problem for me remains the travel with Covid restrictions. Getting  home from this job will mean a two week trip back to the UK, a Covid  jab, Thai Pass, coordinating booking flights, etc. Not so much of a  problem after a 3 month trip but not really feasible after the usual 4  week trips. I'd love to get back on a 4 on/4 off or a 6 on/6 off rota  but I think that is still a way off still...





> The water looks beautiful there...what's the average temp? I'm guessing nut shriveling...


I don't know what the average temperature is, but right now the surface temperature is 16 degrees. I don't know if that counts as 'nut shriveling' but it's certainly way too cold for me. I like it around 28 degrees. At the seabed 2 kilometers down the temperature is around 6 degrees.

Apparently Anapa is a popular Black Sea resort and looks like this in the summer...



I wouldn't swim in that water. Not after the number of dead dolphins we've found rotting on the seabed... not far from land either. There's virtually no fish and the seabed is just a dirty, litter strewn sludge. The Russians are welcome to it.

I've been told that the hills and dunes to the south of Anapa are famous for naturists. I've been scouring the coast with the skipper's binoculars but haven't seen anything of interest as yet. Maybe November is a bit cold for them?



But anyway, despite some problems the crew change is looking good for next Wednesday in Samsun, Turkey... in 5 days time. I've a Covid jab booked in the UK for next Saturday and a flight to Bangkok 14 days later. There's a few things to sort out but with any luck I'll get a pint in Bangkok 3 weeks on Monday!

Fingers crossed.

----------


## aging one

> I wouldn't swim in that water... not after the number of dead dolphins we've found rotting on the seabed... not far from land either. There's virtually no fish and the seabed is just a dirty, litter strewn sludge. The Russians are welcome to it.


Damn, sadly really well put and tragic

----------


## bsnub

> Damn, sadly really well put and tragic


A real shame to hear that it has been turned into a trash heap. See this...

The Black Sea: Can Europe'&#39;'s most polluted sea be saved? - BBC News

----------


## bsnub

Mendy, please watch the video in that link. From what I gather, where they claim there is hope is bullshit.

----------


## cyrille

The River Thames was supposedly 'dead' for decades.

Most of the time that claim is bullshit, I reckon.

The planet will be 100% fine after humanity has died off - it just might take a while.

----------


## Mendip

I think a big difference between a river and the Black Sea is that the water is constantly being replenished in a river, so take away the source of pollution and hopefully things will improve fairly quickly.

I'm surprised that in that video nothing was mentioned about the unique, natural reasons the Black Sea is so devoid of life. It was a freshwater lake before the marine inundation a few thousand years ago and it's only connected to the world's oceans by the narrow Bosphorus Strait, so has virtually no circulation, making the deeper water extremely saline (by constant evaporation). It is very deep and the water is de-oxygenated below around 150 metres depth and therefore the seabed is lifeless apart from around the coast. The anaerobic decomposition of organic matter produces hydrogen sulphide, so much that we have to wash down the ROV after each dive. The Black Sea is being considered as a source of hydrogen in the future, that's how toxic the water is.

In saying that, it's also surrounded by extremely polluting countries that have poured in shite for decades, and it has no-where to go. Many countries pour their waste into the sea, but for the UK for example, strong ocean currents and tides wash it all away. In the Black Sea that doesn't happen.

After working here and looking through video of the seabed/subsea pipelines for the past six weeks I've seen maybe five fish and not a single crab, not even in the coastal zones. We have seen quite a few dolphins jumping around the boat, but also an awful lot of dead dolphins rotting on the seabed. The seabed is strewn with plastic litter, especially on the Turkish side, but to be fair no worse than you see in the Mediterranean.

I know one thing, I certainly wouldn't swim in the Black Sea and no way would I eat a fish caught here. I can't really see any hope for the place.

----------


## bsnub

> I can't really see any hope for the place.


Truly a tragic situation. So was there ever a fishery there?

----------


## David48atTD

> Apparently Anapa is a popular Black Sea resort


Should have stopped in Odessa ..._ a popular Black Sea resort 

_

----------


## Mendip

^ Very nice David, but sadly Odessa isn't on the itinerary.


Well, we finished up the Russian territorial waters work a day and a half ago but are still waiting off Anapa for customs clearance, before we can depart.

Now that my trip is hopefully drawing to a close I sent off a selfie to the wife to remind her what I look like before I head back to Korat. This of course could backfire and I'll arrive home to locked doors with changed locks.



The end of a three month trip at sea is a good time for reflection. This is the longest I've gone without alcohol for 40 years, since I was in my low teens... my last alcoholic drink was a glass of wine on my Lufthansa flight out of Bangkok on August 23rd. I must admit I haven't found it a problem in the slightest but I guess that's easy to say when you have no choice. I'm determined not to go back to my habitual evening Leos with Hong Thong/Ya Dong chasers as soon as I get back to my dogs and pond..

I'm also determined to maintain small meal portions and continue this exercise regime. I been using the gym throughout this trip and I reckon I've lost a truckload of weight and am even considering getting a treadmill for home... and a table tennis table for the daughter's Christmas present. If I surround myself by enough exercise equipment surely I'll lose weight and get fit?


To start completing this work commute I've now got flights from Samsun in Turkey back to Bristol on Thursday. I have a Covid vaccination booked up on the 'Mendips' on Saturday morning, and so long as that jab is Pfizer I should be able to download the certificate a couple of days later. With my Norwegian Pfizer cert I can then apply for my Thailand Pass and so long as it all goes through in ten days or so I'm good to go. I hope it all goes smoothly as I've already booked my flight to Bangkok for two Saturdays after my Covid jab, giving me exactly the 14 days grace required. I've also booked my SHA hotel and am waiting for confirmation.

I called my mum tonight, partly to warn her to expect me on Thursday night... but mainly to make sure there was steak and kidney pie on the menu for Friday lunch! I also requested a pack of decent sausages and back bacon in the fridge for a late snack when I arrive back on Thursday. The strangest thing happened... despite being determined not to slip back into my old ways, as I was talking to my mum, before I realised what I was doing I heard myself asking for a few bottles of Thatchers Gold chilling in the fridge. I was a bit pissed off with myself afterwards.

What a difference this Covid has made... a couple of years ago I would have just got on a flight to Bangkok from Turkey, end of.

Anyway, I really can't wait to get off this damn boat after 12 weeks... my head is fried but nothing a few days R & R won't sort out. All we need is for the bladdy Russians to release us by Tuesday morning. If they don't I'll be well pissed off.

----------


## Joe 90

> my head is fried but nothing a few days R & R won't sort out. A


That's the spirit!
Safe travels Mate.

----------


## Saint Willy

A few stray grey hairs up there...

----------


## armstrong

> A few stray grey hairs up there...


You could try to be less creepy.

----------


## Edmond

> The River Thames was supposedly 'dead' for decades.


I read that the tap water in London has on average been in and out of eight people. 





So a bit like Mendo on a passport renewal trip.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

^^ Hello Stalker McStalk face, let's not mess up Mendy's thread, eh?

----------


## Headworx

Ran the pic thru a Japanese porn filter and got this:

----------


## Mendip

^ I'll take that!

It's better than the reality after 80 odd night shifts. I'm looking well haggard.






> I read that the tap water in London has on average been in and out of eight people. 
> 
> So a bit like Mendo on a passport renewal trip.


I'll ignore that. I thought we'd agreed to stop all this passport renewal nonsense talk?

I must admit though... it would be good to renew my medical before I head back up to Isaan...  :Smile: 






> A few stray grey hairs up there...


Yeah, I didn't have a single one at the start of this trip!

Anyway, I'm way ahead of ya... got my strimmer out yesterday!



Yes, I've sat at this damn work station on the same damn chair for 82 consecutive 12 hour night shifts now... but just 2 more to go!

Productivity level... now virtually zero!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Productivity level... now virtually zero!


Was it higher before?

----------


## OhOh

> I read that the tap water in London has on average been in and out of eight people.


Mendip's mum's house is way upstream of the 8 people area. Just the cow, sheep, deer, cider brewers, possibly AWE Burghfield .... runoff.  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> I been using the gym throughout this trip and I reckon I've lost a truckload of weight and am even considering getting a treadmill for home


When do we get to see the final weighing? Please learn from Looper and wear some underwear.  :Smile: 

Well done on the exercise front. The gf has asked for a treadmill but I tell her we can walk, run and cycle in the lane. We do 40 minutes of brisk walking most mornings. If I were to buy any machines then I reckon I'd go for one of those cross-country skiing machines, or possibly a rowing machine, because I am not going to ski or row around Isan. Frankly they are a bit pricey for me, the cheap ones are rubbish and the good ones very expensive. However, for a man who is in gainful employment it will be more affordable.

Safe travels.

----------


## nidhogg

> As for chess... I have to do everything myself out here and chess ain't easy on your own.


Here you go:

Login - Chess.com

----------


## Mendip

^^ Yeah, I don't want to do a 'Looper' that's for sure, although if I start walking around the boat bollock naked I reckon that forum embarrassment will be the least of my worries.

I'll weigh meself on Tuesday night... so long as we don't have a bad swell in which case maybe I'll have to delay it until my next work trip.

I've resisted getting a treadmill for many years, thinking that I can just jog along the local roads for free. Fifteen years of living in Isaan without a single jog has proved me wrong but to be fair who wants to jog in 40 degree heat along roads driven on by complete fuckwits? I've surprised myself by sticking with the treadmill routine for three months and so long as I have something to watch and a decent fan I'd go as far as saying it's almost enjoyable. I think it'll be a good addition for the daughter as well who gets nowhere near enough exercise with all this home schooling going on.


^ Thanks Nid!

(I've run out of time now...)

----------


## Shutree

> so long as we don't have a bad swell in which case maybe I'll have to delay it


Here we go, getting the excuses in early.   :rofl:

----------


## nidhogg

> ^ Thanks Nid!


No problem.  My son started getting into chess and fancied a match sometime, even though I told him I had not played for decades.  Brushed up there for a few days - and absolutely destroyed him.

Bless.  Dads gotta do what dads gotta do.

----------


## malmomike77

> Yes, I've sat at this damn work station on the same damn chair for 82 consecutive 12 hour night shifts now... but just 2 more to go!


I don't envy the bloke (assuming it is a bloke) who's going to inherit the chair :Smile: 

Did you go cheap on the 1 night quarantine Mendip - i hear prices are going up quite a bit.

----------


## ootai

> If I surround myself by enough exercise equipment surely I'll lose weight and get fit?


No good if you surround yourself with the equipment and then don't use it.
I am sure you are aware that you need to establish a routine and I know you can do that because you walk your dogs everyday and I dare say at about the same time each day, also you have your Leo's and ya dong regular as clockwork.

Good luck on you journey back hope it all works out.

----------


## David48atTD

> I'll weigh meself on Tuesday night...


Can you run a book on the final weight, like you did with the arrival time in port (which I was the hot favorite in  ... till your captain ran into headwinds ... Grrrrrr).

What was the start weight?

How long at sea?

... could be fun 







for us  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^ just to add to David's comment and to head off bleaching my eyes again.

In case you are think of running this and using some pics as a guide for the forum punters, can we keep the pics to head shots rather than the before (in the garden in yr keks) and after in the shower room (in the same keks) - i think we can gauge on jowl shrinkage.

Thanks

----------


## Saint Willy

I'm tipping a portly 89kgs.

----------


## armstrong

> I'm tipping a portly 89kgs.


There's probably an emoji for that.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^^What has your bending Malaysian ladyblokes over your balcony got to do with this thread?

----------


## malmomike77

> I'm tipping a portly 89kgs.


slim bastard. I think i have overtaken Mendip on his downslope

----------


## Mendip

> I don't envy the bloke (assuming it is a bloke) who's going to inherit the chair
> 
> Did you go cheap on the 1 night quarantine Mendip - i hear prices are going up quite a bit.



There's nothing wrong with the chair, even after 3 months of heavy use... I wish I had one like this at home. Working for a Norwegian company you're assured good quality office furniture and you should see the standard of the pens, pencils and notebooks... the daughter will be the envy of all her classmates next year at school!  :Smile: 



My one night quarantine is kind of for free... after a flight rebook  back in January that meant a change of ASQ hotel (if I wanted a balcony), we agreed for the hotel to keep money on credit for later use. I had kind of written this off after all these months but they're honouring the deal. I've splashed out a bit on a nice room as I'm staying in Bangkok for a 3 day quarantine, just to be on the safe side.

Mind you, in saying that they haven't confirmed my booking yet!

----------


## malmomike77

> I'm staying in Bangkok for a 3 day quarantine, just to be on the safe side.


As any responsible husband and father would. A full cooked English brekkie with a Cider on the second morning to gird yourself for day ahead in the hotel, try not to stop by Villa for more apple juice  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Can you run a book on the final weight, like you did with the arrival time in port (which I was the hot favorite in  ... till your captain ran into headwinds ... Grrrrrr).
> 
> What was the start weight?
> 
> How long at sea?
> 
> ... could be fun


I've deliberately avoided turning this into a dieting and lifestyle thread but I guess I do have some good info and advice to offer... although as to whether I'd call it 'fun' is open to debate.

I decided on 107kg at the start of this work trip which will be 1 day under 12 weeks when I weigh meself tomorrow night.

I reckon I've been an hour in the gym 3 out of 4 nights during the trip and I've been going for it. I've done between 5 and 6km on the treadmill followed by 20 minutes of weights and stuff.

I feel slimmer than when I joined this boat and certainly go up the flights of stairs a lot quicker at meal times. My meals, by the way, have comprised very modest portions with minimal carbs. Just by not having a couple of Leos (or so) every night there must be vastly reduced calories going through my system. Surely I must have lost a fair bit of weight. Me black work troosers have become pretty loose around the waist but the button is also hanging off a bit so that's hard to judge. Side on my gut certainly looks smaller.

Anyway, at the risk of mockery I don't mind weighing myself and posting the weight on Tuesday night, if it keeps you happy... but I'll not be doing a 'Looper'. I'll do the weigh-in fully clothed directly after my evening constitutional to be as light as possible! 





> ^ just to add to David's comment and to head off bleaching my eyes again.
> 
> In case you are think of running this and using some pics as a guide for the forum punters, can we keep the pics to head shots rather than the before (in the garden in yr keks) and after in the shower room (in the same keks) - i think we can gauge on jowl shrinkage.
> 
> Thanks


I don't really like the term 'jowl' but my chin is showing in the pics above. That should be good enough.





> I'm tipping a portly 89kgs.


I've never seen the word 'portly' in the same sentence as '89kgs' before. Your entry is noted, but I think you vastly overestimate my progress.


Anyway, this morning we were still waiting for the Russian immigration off Anapa. I went up on deck to see the sunrise and it was bladdy freezing. I'm hopping to soon be sleeping through sunrises, however nice they are.



A shot across the helideck...



While I was contemplating things with a cup of tea, a flock of ducks flew past.



The ducks were in a bit of a raggedy formation but then a flock of geese flew over in the perfect 'V'.



A few hours later, miracle of miracles and the Russian immigration service turned up!



And 2 hours later we were released!

Goodbye Russia... can't say that I'll miss the place. I could say plenty but I'd better not.



And thankfully we're heading in exactly the opposite direction from Ukraine which seems like a good direction to head in just now. We have time to knock off a few more kilometres of pipeline inspection on the way to Samsun in Turkey.



There's now nothing to stop me making my Thursday flights to the UK... and after jumping through a few hoops, then on to Thailand.

I'm going home!

----------


## bsnub

> I'm going home!


WhooHoo! Mendy will need to revive the old thread.  :Smile: 

Congrats.

----------


## David48atTD

> I decided on 107kg at the start of this work trip which will be 1 day under 12 weeks when I weigh meself tomorrow night.
> 
> I'm going home!


GREAT!

Start = 107kg, 12 weeks above Day Jones Locker, no booze, exercising daily, but so much temping food from the Flippers.

I'm hoping for the best, maybe a pound a week.

99.6 or 96.9 ... both numbers role in my head.



My guess is "Gryffindor" ... OK ... *99.6 kgs*.  Well done Son  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

I'm going 98Kgs

----------


## malmomike77

Erm, actually before we go nap on this - does Insider Dave have privileged knowledge?  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

211kg.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I've never seen the word 'portly' in the same sentence as '89kgs' before


Do you prefer svelte?

----------


## malmomike77

Sylph like

----------


## CalEden

A rowing machine would do nicely on your Pond Pier. A Treadmill on your pier would be ok. You would have to chase a pack hounds off the treadmill that's taken residency on it.

----------


## Joe 90

103kilos!

----------


## Topper

I'm going to guess around 101kg...you've lost weight but have turned some of the fat into muscle.

----------


## Mendip

^ That's my main worry... I hope I haven't overdone the muscle development.





> 211kg.


Bastard! 


Tonight was maybe my last gym sessions for a while so I took a couple of pics to remember it by.

Not much gut on display there.



Not too shabby...






I've got the 'channels' big time and haven't got a lot done tonight, although I did manage to make a small map.

A summary of my work commute for this trip by end of play on Thursday... red is boat, blue is plane. 

As is the lot of a seafarer... I've been everywhere but seen nowhere. On this trip I've almost circumnavigated Europe but in 3 months have spent just a handful of hours onshore in Haugesund, Norway when I got soaking wet and freezing cold, had a Pfizer jab and got ripped off buying a pair of trainers. I've had better port calls.



But anyway, around 24 hours left on this damn boat and should be off soon after lunch tomorrow. I have to get yet another PCR test tomorrow afternoon and fly on Thursday.


This is how good I am... one day to go and two teabags left in the box. This stuff doesn't just happen by accident, it's all about planning!



Once the tea is finished, tomorrow afternoon I'll be forced to drink Turkish beer for as long as possible to try and stay awake to get back onto days. Sometimes these things just have to be done!





> WhooHoo! Mendy will need to revive the old thread.


Ummm... which thread exactly Snubs? I'm not cleaning out that bloody pond again!  :Smile:

----------


## Chico

Mendip the weight you have just lost will pile back on.

----------


## nidhogg

Happy travels Mendip, safe trip.

----------


## malmomike77

> another PCR test tomorrow afternoon and fly on Thursday.


Mendip don't forget you need to book your PCR fit to fly test in the UK (this usual with 72hrs of flight), i had to change mine out as i needed to obtain a printed copy of the results not just the Email results they send.

----------


## Joe 90

Your commute map resembles a cock with a huge ball sack Mendip...

----------


## Saint Willy

> Your commute map resembles a cock with a huge ball sack Mendip...



Really…

----------


## Edmond

> Your commute map resembles a cock with a huge ball sack Mendip...





> This stuff doesn't just happen by accident


Just try not to drown the first passport renewal woman. 


Safe trip and congrats Mendo.

----------


## katie23

@Joe - they're a bit uneven, doncha think?  :Very Happy: 

Haugesund - is it anywhere near Helgasund?  :Very Happy: 




I'd like to know what our resident Scandis think of that clip.  :Smile:  It popped up on my YT (blame the algorithm). I find him hilarious.

@mendip - Safe travels!

----------


## CalEden

Sorry Katie, I meant to rate approval of your post. The check dot process confused me and could not reverse the rating.

----------


## helge

> I'd like to know what our resident Scandis think of that clip.


Hmm
I would say..not Scandi, but did hit an icelandic nerve.

Except; they spoke way to fast to be icelanders.

Could also be finnish, but again spoken way to fast.....and they are also not scandi.

Nordic !

----------


## malmomike77

Its all the same Katie, take no notice of Helge trying to make it seem more interesting. Its cold and expensive and they all talk like yodelers with throat cancer.

----------


## helge

^True

Cunning way to deter you cheap breakshits from visiting  :Smile: 

Katie asked; I answered

Funny...no

Underplayed reality...yes









(fucking funny  :Smile:  )

----------


## malmomike77

Did i also forget to add that listening to a bunch of ScandiNoridics out boast each other over their country's virtues is only marginally less interesting than watching a Belgian Finch singing contest.  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Belgian Finch singing contest.


Link ?

----------


## malmomike77

vinkensport which tbf is Dutch but its taken to a whole new level of excitement in Belgium  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

The excitement is palpable

----------


## helge

> out boast


We are nationalists.

No boasting......probably comparing perfection

----------


## helge

> The excitement is palpable


Small pic

Are you trying to destroy Skinny's thread again ?

----------


## malmomike77

> 


I'm not convinced, is this Tom the cabin boy  :Smile:

----------


## helge

Doubt it; if so he stole Mendip's very cheap Casio watch.

Also doubtful that anyone would do that deed

----------


## Mendip

Well, I could put it off no longer.

We have 1.5 metres seas as we head into Samsun... not big seas but enough to create some movement as we transit. With hindsight I should have weighed meself while we were waiting off Russia in calm water.

Anyway, my first weigh-in was still in treble figures which pissed me off immensely, but after stripping down as far as I was comfortable on a boat full of hairy arsed contractors...



This put David78's 96kg entry right on the money.

But I wasn't finished yet... as we rode down the swell...



So, I have a range of 99.58kg and 98.52kg. Whichever way you look at it I've beaten the magic 100kg barrier. I'm gonna call it an even 99kg, and I reckon I could knock another 500g off if I did a Looper but it's just not that important. This means I lost 8kg in 12 weeks... not as much as I hoped but it could have been a lot worse.

Congrats to David88, even at 99kg you are still the winner which I guess is only justice after you were so cruelly robbed last time. A box of Turkish Delight is on it's way.

And a special mention to MalmoMike who came in a close second with his 98kg entry. If I stayed onboard another 2 weeks I reckon you could have clinched it!

And to all the doubters who went for over 100kg... bollox to ya! (but you may be looking good after my 2 weeks in Somerset!)


The good news doesn't end there... an observant person may have noticed my feet. After 3 months I now have the very obvious start of a left big toe nail and my right big toe nail is still there... it never did fall off. I reckon my feet will be as good as new in another 6 months, so long as I stay clear of any pond work!

----------


## David48atTD

> Congrats to David88, even at 99kg you are still the winner which I guess is only justice after you were so cruelly robbed last time. A box of Turkish Delight is on it's way.


Graciously accepted  :Smile: 

Winners are grinners  :goldcup: 



Just quietly Mendip, a well deserved congrats on the weight loss.


Now, I've got you @ 102.5 the day you leave Mother England ... still a worthy weight!

(blame the weight gain, not of the many SnK Pies washed down with gallons of Cider ... but on your toenail growing back ... those suckers are heavy)

----------


## Saint Willy

Congrats on the weight loss!


But phaaark me, those feet a minging!

----------


## David48atTD

> Congrats on the weight loss!
> 
> 
> But phaaark me, those feet a minging!



Nobody's perfect.



















Except me, of course :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> But phaaark me, those feet a minging!


Yeah reverse cowgirl isn't on the cards while renewing passports just yet..

----------


## OhOh

> it never did fall off.


Credit you faithful dogs.

----------


## Joe 90

A healthier body and bank balance Mendip!
Congratulations,  now enjoy your freedom.
108kilos when you step on that plane for Thailand  :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Nobody's perfect.





> Except me, of course


G'Day, Nobody  :Smile:

----------


## Chico

> Congrats on the weight loss!
> 
> 
> But phaaark me, those feet a minging!


Safety shoes Willy boy

----------


## Topper

Well done, Mendip!!!

Considering your sedentary work, the weigh loss you achieved is very impressive.  You should also remember that weight loss at your age is very difficult, so very well done!

This truly has been one of the best threads ever on any of the forums over the years, thanks Mendip!

----------


## Stumpy

Cheers Mendy.  99kg and call it a trip. As was said, losing weight as we age is not an easy task. Unfortunately it's easier to gain weight. In the end once back here, it will likely come back or a good portion of it.  The most important thing though is your health, not so much the weight.  

Fun thread, good read. You added more freedom chips to the bank acct, wife will be happy that you are sustaining her expectations and your daughter will enjoy having Dad home.

On your feet, please stop showing them.  Even with a full compliment of nails those things look tore up and damaged you should wear socks to save people from glancing at them.. :smiley laughing:   Red Dingle will be along soon to point out a few things.

----------


## OhOh

After watching a short film regarding the usage of ships utilising various underwater systems for exploration:




Have you ever come across anything startling in your work?

----------


## Mendip

^ No, in 30 years at sea nothing startling I'm afraid. Quite the opposite to be honest.

I think the most surprising thing that has ever happened to me was one time I was sharing a cabin with a female geo (opposite shifts) and just before leaving the boat she left evidence of a downstairs trim in the sink. I was startled to discover she was a natural blonde.






> As was said, losing weight as we age is not an easy task. Unfortunately it's easier to gain weight. In the end once back here, it will likely come back or a good portion of it.  
> 
> On your feet, please stop showing them.  Even with a full compliment of nails those things look tore up and damaged you should wear socks to save people from glancing at them..


Yes, well, thanks for the encouragement Stumps!  :Smile: 

I must admit I'd be interested to see how perfect everyone else's feet are! OK, so I've had a bit of bad luck with my big toenails lately but apart from that I've always thought my feet are pretty OK?


Anyway, just a small recap. On Tuesday night we started heading in to Samsun in Turkey, and I caught a glimpse of land early in the morning.



I watched for a while as the land became closer...



... and then went below decks to pack my bags.

Exactly 84 nights I'd spent on that bunk... (I realised later that I left my b@stard book sitting on top of my bedside light... could have done with that on the flights the following day...)



Getting close now... what a fantastic feeling it was to be getting off a boat after 12 weeks.



A busy little port...



And we finally berthed. There's a lot of pigeons at Samsun. I'd been wondering about all the birds we'd had on the boat while out at sea. Many song birds migrate across the Black Sea from Russia to Turkey (and beyond maybe) to avoid the harsh northern winter. We constantly had finches, robins and the like land on our boat for a rest and sadly many just stayed too long and died. When we headed to the Russian coast we took a whole flock of birds back to Russia with us, which must have pissed them right off. Strangely enough when we headed southwards to Turkey there were no birds onboard at all. You would have thought they'd take advantage of a free trip. But anyway, the pigeons at Samsun soon found us.



There's a huge breakwater at Samsun, a reminder that the sea can get rough in this part of the world.



This vessel was being either loaded or unloaded with timber. Maybe these cargo vessels are the source of all the water-logged tree trunks we kept finding on the seabed alongside the pipelines?



The vessel to our fore was being unloaded of something... 



At first I thought it was some kind of ore but I'm thinking it was maybe fertilizer?



A strange vehicle.



There was certainly lots going on.




But anyway, bollocks to all that. I took a quick peak down the gangway, itching to get my feet on dry land for the first time since Norway a couple of months ago. Here you can see the poor b@stards about to replace us. This Black Sea project had been a truly awful job with at least another 4 to 6 weeks left to run. We really couldn't wait to get off the damn boat.

That yellow truck was pumping two month's worth of sewage off the boat.



And once the oncoming crew had boarded and gone to the upper decks, we were allowed off. There was strict Covid distancing going on between the ongcoming and offgoing crew. No face to face handovers were allowed.

And finally... my trusty bags made it to shore!



And meself, of course!



It took 3 hours to clear immigration and security before we could leave the port. There really isn't much enjoyable about travel these days.

I finally dumped my bags in a hotel room early evening...



But it still wasn't over of course. Before I could finally relax I had to get another negative PCR test certificate to allow me to fly the following day. This was only for three of us who weren't fully vaccinated. All the others headed straight to the bar.

Three Turkish girls turned up... with not a word of English between them. Our agent had fukked off by this time, so with a complete lack of communication these girls sat in one room for an hour waiting for us while we sat in the lobby waiting for them. But eventually thing got sorted out.

They seem to use a funny alphabet in Turkey and it was difficult making sure they wrote everything down correctly. My colleague here was heading to Austria but found Australia written on his form... my DOB was wrong, but by this point I was past caring. We were promised the certificates would be waiting in reception first thing on the morning for us to collect on the way to the airport.



And finally... my first beer for 87 days! A Tuborg but still very nice under the circumstances.

----------


## malmomike77

COVID certainly is adding an additional layer of embuggerance to travel with he testing, clearances, paperwork and in certain places quarantine time. I have questioned the idea of travel until next calendar year.

Anyway you must have had your emotional reunions with pies, cider and mum so its all worth it.

----------


## Stumpy

> COVID certainly is adding an additional layer of embuggerance to travel with he testing, clearances, paperwork and in certain places quarantine time. I have questioned the idea of travel until next calendar year.


Amen to that. Travel is simply a full on pain in the ass. And now reading many countries are beginning a 4th wave of infections which has already showed up in travel restrictions again. If you are currently traveling you better get to your final destination soon or avoid lock downs and quarantines.

I expect Thailand to see increases and all the nonsense start again.

----------


## Mendip

There can be little more depressing than the sight of a hastily departed hotel room, early in the morning, after a few snatched hours of broken sleep. I had taken it easy and only had 3 or 4 beers... was knackered after being up since the start of the previous night shift.



And there... the sum total of my Turkish holiday pics. My only experience of Turkey was walking between the hotel and the taxi on the way to the airport.



The best way to see the Black Sea... You can see the breakwater at the top of the pic where we crew changed the previous day. The boat had departed and would already have been inspecting more kilometres of pipeline... but no longer my concern!



And the landing at Istanbul. I think the opening of the Bosphorus into the Black Sea is at the top of the pic. What would have taken 2 days in the boat took 40 minutes by air.



I expected to fly with Turkish Airlines but seemed to be flying with some outfit called _Anadolujet_, which from what I can gather must be a budget arm of Turkish Airlines. The 3.5 hour flight to Amsterdam was crowded with just a bread roll and glass of water for refreshment. Not even a cup of coffee... and a gin and tonic was out of the question.



I also flew into SAW instead of IST. This is the old Istanbul Airport which was a surprise to me, but probably a good thing since my experience of the new Istanbul Airport was one of endless walking... it's bladdy huge.

I managed to get a couple of Fezs (Fezzes?) and a box of Turkish Delight at SAW which was all I wanted. Oh, and a wooden Turkish woman for my woman collection at home. 

I was on a split ticket, so at Amsterdam had to retrieve my bag and check in for my flight to Bristol. This of course meant passing through immigration just to transfer my bladdy bag. I spent around 15 minutes in Schengen, but it meant an hour of queuing and two more stamps in my passport. Thanks for that, Boris you tosser.

So, even after all that palava I still had 5 hours to kill at AMS... and after my sausage roll what else was there to do?



Yep... things soon got out of hand. But I was on my hols!



Bristol Airport has to be one of my least favourite airports. It used to be OK but is now run by money grabbing rip-off merchants. But I still keep using it...

It remains one of only two airports I have used that charge for the use of luggage trolleys. The other one is Perth, WA. 



I think it sums an airport up when they boast about offering free tap water! Whenever I take a leak at BRS I always press the red unhappy smiley face on leaving the toilet, but my protest seems to go unnoticed.



After waiting 40 minutes for a rip-off airport monopoly taxi (26 quid for a 5 mile trip), I finally got back to my mum's house. It was late but I had something to do...



Finally, the important things in life!



Later today I have a second Pfizer jab booked, and once that's loaded up on this NHS system I can apply for my Thailand Pass and finally complete this year's work commute.

----------


## malmomike77

> I expect Thailand to see increases and all the nonsense start again.


It'll be a close thing. Countries are going to have to take the chance and accept there will be a level of deaths even amongst the vaccinated much like Flu every year, otherwise we'll never escape this cycle. The UK has had infection rates of c35-45K per day for a month or two now, although the accuracy of those numbers is debateable. Deaths are 100 to 200 per day, but luckily the ICUs aren't filling up. I just see this as the new norm, we can't eradicate it at present.




> There can be little more depressing than the sight of a hastily departed hotel room


Confession time. I tidy my room and fold back the sheets before the cleaners come in daily. Just ingrained in me that i keep a tidy room. Sad i know.




> It was late but I had something to do...


That is a plate worth the wait, what a pre-bed snack. Steak and Kidney today  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

What I would give for pork pies, cheese and pickles in chilly ol' England over the next few weeks. 

Enjoy, Mendip. You've earned it, and provided us with yet another great thread.

----------


## Stumpy

> Confession time. I tidy my room and fold back the sheets before the cleaners come in daily. Just ingrained in me that i keep a tidy room. Sad i know.


Me too.  I always tidy up my room before exiting.  Was just raised that way.  I usually always leave a tip as well.

----------


## malmomike77

> Was just raised that way. I usually always leave a tip as well.


yes on both counts.

----------


## happynz

> It remains one of only two airports I have used that charge for the use of luggage trolleys. The other one is Perth, WA.


Perth's airport is shite. Not as bad as Tribhuvan in Kathmandu or Viru Viru in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. However, Perth is in a rich state in a rich country. What's Perth's excuse?

----------


## nidhogg

> It remains one of only two airports I have used that charge for the use of luggage trolleys. The other one is Perth, WA.
> 
> .


Hate that as well.  

Cardiff has a charge that is refundable on return of the trolley.  Not convenient as I seldom have local currency coins when I first arrive.

----------


## Stumpy

SFO charges $7.50 for a trolley near the drop area for departure. They are free upon arrival.  So usually I just wait and when someone unloads one  I grab it before the Trolley police grab it and lock it up for the next person to pay $7.50.

----------


## baldrick

> she left evidence of a downstairs trim in the sink.


so what did it taste like ?




> At first I thought it was some kind of ore


you might be right - a dry concentrate  , those clamshells on the crane are common for unloading commodity ships - at the end they will lift a bobcat or small loader into the hull to clean the leftovers into a pile




> I also flew into SAW instead of IST


SAW was not the old international airport which was on the european side of the strait - SAW was on the arabian side and catered for some budget flights and the biz jet tribes - from my recollection of 2018-2019

----------


## bsnub

> So usually I just wait and when someone unloads one I grab it before the Trolley police grab it and lock it up for the next person to pay $7.50.


Tightwad.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Tightwad.


Indeed...   :smiley laughing:      $7.50 to move luggage from the drop off area to the check in booth is silly. They should be free and available for customers.

----------


## bsnub

> $7.50 to move luggage from the drop off area to the check in booth is silly. They should be free and available for customers.


Should be free, but I ain't breaking a sweat over $7.50.  :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

You say you had no contact with the new crew. Would you normally have a handover shift with your replacement?

Who do you leave all the survey files with? Is there an on boat data manager, or do you send it off electronically to an onshore storage site?

That pork pie and Branston looks nice.

----------


## baldrick

> Would you normally have a handover shift with your replacement?


they would trim each others pubic hairs







and then taste them





so I have heard

----------


## Saint Willy

> You say you had no contact with the new crew. Would you normally have a handover shift with your replacement?
> 
> Who do you leave all the survey files with? Is there an on boat data manager, or do you send it off electronically to an onshore storage site?
> 
> That pork pie and Branston looks nice.



Lotta questions for a Chinese spy

----------


## cyrille

It _is_ a bit creepy isn't it.

Like he could ask you the time and you'd answer 'Who wants to know?'

----------


## malmomike77

^ OhOh does ask questions like someone with aspergers

----------


## Headworx

> Lotta questions for a Chinese spy


Chinese seismic data acquisition contractors are notorious for keeping a copy of all the data they collect that then gets sent back to China, they've been caught red-handed doing so _many_ times and for this reason alone many oil companies refuse to let them even bid on contracts to map or drill on their leases around the world. With the data they steal, they then know as much as the oil companies do about the subsurface geology of petroleum leases worldwide. When oil companies relinquish leases they may not think are worth keeping or are too committed elsewhere to continue exploring, the leases go back into a bid round and Chinese oil companies know exactly which blocks are worth getting their hands on based on the highly confidential data they've already seen that was acquired and given to them (illegally) by Chinese contractors. Chinese drilling companies do exactly the same thing with well logging data which again, is highly confidential information that only the oil companies that own the leases and pay for contractors services on that land should have access to. 

Because this data is so valuable for future use, and I would assume under the instructions of Beijing, Chinese contractors will undercut  companies with standards and ethics by such huge margins that they'll win jobs but definitely lose money doing them and send good contracting companies who work using Western standards of practice and confidentiality (and actually need to make money or at least break even) broke in the process. 

 They truly are despicable cvnts.

----------


## malmomike77

Well my takeaway from that is that the Oil industry in general only have themselves to blame - not that i agree with what is being done.

----------


## Headworx

^When it comes to the oil companies that hire Chinese contractors, you're right. But it's got to be taken into account that they're businesses too with shareholder expectations so awarding contracts to the lowest bidders is, unfortunately, common. Though this is coming back to bite them on the arse now, exploration is rapidly ramping up after about 5 years of low activity and people have realised oil and gas dependence isn't going anywhere anytime soon. So now with many of the good contractors having closed up shop long ago, oil companies will be paying top price for mickey-mouse Chinese contractors who will _still_ be stealing all the data they collect.

----------


## malmomike77

^ I think many Govts are looking at Chinky involvement in a range of sensitive areas, in the UK it was 5G, now Nuclear and also University research.

----------


## Mendip

^^^^ You'll get no argument from me there.

There are two or three Russian contractors that we no longer use... they just steal stuff. Most data is digital and it's very difficult to stop people copying files but some older data/information is hard copy and these guys have been caught red-handed stealing. They know they'll be caught but just don't care. 


OhOh, we'd always do a face to face handover with our replacements for a couple of hours at least at crew change, but Covid distancing procedures prevent this. It's a huge set-back for oncoming crew on a complex project because no matter how well a handover is written it's not the same as spending some time with someone. But there ya go.


For my journey back to the UK from Turkey I had to navigate this tortuous UK government website and fill out this Passenger Locator Form. While filling it out there was a section that forced me to buy a home-testing PCR kit, and fill out the order code on the from as proof of purchase. At Amsterdam the check-in girl checked through this, along with my negative Turkish Covid PCR test certificate, before letting me check in.

At Bristol Airport the immigration guy didn't even look at it. I tried to get him to look at my negative PCR cert but he wasn't interested. It pissed me off to be honest after all the effort I'd gone to, and the home testing PCR kit cost me 60 quid... which no doubt went directly to one of Boris's cronies useless companies. The tosser.

Anyway, once I'm fully vaccinated I'll not have to do that stuff, and today was the day. Mindful of my desire to keep my lost weight off I cooked meself just a small breakfast to get through the ordeal. That was bacon and sausages crossed off the 'to do' list.



My second Covid vaccination was booked at Shepton Mallet in the heart of the Mendips. 

_  'The history of the name Shepton Mallet can be traced to an Anglo-Saxon village by the name of Sceapton, meaning 'sheep fold', mentioned in the Domesday Book, while the 'Mallet' bit comes from the Malet family who held Shepton from the Abbey of Glastonbury in the 12th century.'  
_
I have a sister who lives close-by in Wells and she gave me detailed directions on how to get to the vaccination centre in Sheptin Mallet, but my usual habit of switching off when a female gives me directions kicked in and I didn't listen to a word.

After driving around the damn place for 30 minutes this morning I started to regret not paying some attention to my sister, but then I chanced upon this... it felt like fate.



I was in and out in 20 minutes... and now I just have to wait a couple of days for the Pfizer jab info to get uploaded onto this NHS App thing, which I can then download and start my Thailand Pass application. There was no way they could upload my Norwegian Pfizer jab to the system, but even so I think I'll be OK.



After my jab I thought I may as well have a little poke around Shepton Mallet... I had free parking at the vaccination centre car park and it seemed a shame to waste it.

I came across this rank of shops and thought of a past member here called Dillinger... and not because of the Police Station but the Greggs of course! I continued on, I don't eat that kind of stuff any more, and besides, Greggs don't do Steak and Kidney Pies.



After thinking of that Dillinger I also though of the Shepton Mallet jail. I don't know why my brain made that association... did he go to jail?  :Smile: 

Anyway, a bit of background...


_HMP Shepton Mallet, sometimes known as Cornhill, is a former prison located in Shepton Mallet, Somerset, England. When it closed in 2013, it was the United Kingdom's oldest operating prison, and had been since the closure of HMP Lancaster Castle in 2011.[1] Before closure Shepton Mallet was a category C lifer prison holding 189 prisoners. The prison building is grade II listed, while the former gatehouse and perimeter walls are grade II.

  The prison was opened before 1625 but was already in poor repair by the end of the First English Civil War in 1646. It was expanded in 1790 but conditions were again criticised in a report of 1822 and further building work was undertaken in the 1820s and 1830s. This included the installation of a treadwheel for those sentenced to hard labour. In 1843 the number of cells was increased by adding a second storey to each wing. The prison was damaged during a fire in 1904. In 1930 the number of inmates had fallen and the prison was closed.

  Following the outbreak of the Second World War in 1939 the prison was reopened as a military prison. It was initially used by the British Army and later by American forces who constructed a new execution block to hang condemned prisoners. It was also used for the storage of important historical documents from the Public Record Office in London, including Domesday Book. Following the war the prison continued as a military "glasshouse" until it was returned to civilian use in 1966.

  The Prison was decommissioned in 2013 and is now run by the Campbell Group as an interactive tourism destination, offering guided tours, ghost tours, and other activities. 
_

But first I had to find it. I started by walking down the High Street... a nice little place, even in the drizzle...



There's something for everyone in Shepton Mallet! I didn't go in... I've had enough of foreign food for the time being.



Then I saw this place and wondered if I should find out what I'd been missing in Turkey... but it's not really my thing...



This is more my style, but I'll be buggered if I'm paying £8.50 or a haircut when I've got my own strimmers at home.



I continued on to the town centre. It was lucky The Bell was boarded up because it was 10:30 already and I fancied a pint!



The Market Cross... built around 1500.



Plenty of rules.



But onward to the prison. 

Next I came across the Church of St Peter and St Paul, dating back to the 12th Century.





I started looking at some old grave stones but could have been there all day, so forced myself to move on.



A couple of squirrels as well...



I continued walking but found no sign of the prison and just as I was on the verge of asking someone for help I came up to this big wall. It certainly looked suspicious.



I decided to follow it around and see where it led me.



It was taller than your average wall, and then I found this road sign. I was definitely getting close.



I traipsed on and on...



And finally found an entrance!





I went inside to investigate.



I followed the signs and a lot of voices...



... until I found another doorway.



I'd come so far I know I should have gone in to the visitor centre as I'm sure it would have been fascinating... but there was a group of women nattering on to the receptionist at the entrance and nothing was moving fast, so I decided to visit another day. I'm planning on a trip the UK next summer with the daughter and I'm always looking for things to reinforce her good behaviour... I reckon a trip to a prison may do her some good. I read that you can stay the night at Shepton Mallet prison... that could really sort her out! 

And besides, I was hungry.

So off I went. I wonder if everyone who stays at a prison leaves a good review?



I'd spotted this little place on my way to the prison. 



You can forget about the history and stuff, the best thing about England is that you're never further than 100 yards from a decent pie!

If I fancied a steak and kidney pie in Korat it would take two days of planning and procurement and another day of cooking. 

I bought this one in 2 minutes flat and ate it on the move. 



It was well worth losing the roof of my mouth and slopping gravy down my shirt front!



The pie was so hot my nose started running so I had to use my face mask to blow my nose and wipe all the gravy off my hands. It didn't seem to matter as hardly anyone was wearing a mask anyway.

My last job of the morning before getting back in time for the sausages my mum was cooking for lunch was a quick call into Tescos and luckily masks weren't compulsory. I've a few things on my list to buy over the next couple of weeks and I thought Tesco would have an egg whisk and pastry brushes.

I found the pasty brushes, but sadly no egg whisk.

But I did find heaven...



A good morning's work done. Time to go home!



More fate... but I didn't want to let my mum down. (it was a close run thing...)



What's not to like... a field of sheep with a cock pheasant to boot. It's good to be home!



And what a beautiful home this would make... in another lifetime maybe.

 But I bet they don't have a pond with a jetty!

----------


## malmomike77

> It's a huge set-back for oncoming crew on a complex project because no matter how well a handover is written it's not the same as spending some time with someone. But there ya go.


We use MS Teams for most meetings online now. Not knowing what environment your software works in, i presume you cannot use a similar app to share desktops and then talk / present your handover - unbelievable you have to write it all down.




> After driving around the damn place for 30 minutes this morning I started to regret not paying some attention to my sister, but then I chanced apon this... it felt like fate.


You haven't learnt to use google maps  :Smile: 




> I may as well have a little poke around Shepton Mallet..


Fine shoes made there once upon a time

You will regret buying that red wine - its awful  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ ^erm..
That's your first day back on terra firma sfter 3 months...

I was foreseeing something like  those US naval ships docking in Pattaya and the trail of carnage and debauchery.

The only birds on display here are a  feckin trifle :Smile: 

No wonder that kunt Dillinger fucked off

----------


## malmomike77

> No wonder that kunt Dillinger fucked off


He's still around somewhere, i have a picture of his dick in my repo  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Short comments are always best!

We use Teams a lot, especially with so many people now working from home. While I was transiting down to Istanbul I had a daily Teams meeting and it worked well. 

The problen now with crew changes is that there's no space or spare offices on the boat for the oncoming crew to join a meeting. A possibilty mat be to have a Teams meeting with oncoming crew before they start travelling, although to be fair if you're about to go iffshore for a month there's not a lot if interest in spending your last day at home having work meetings.

 If stuff is written down at least there's something to refer to after the offgoing crew have departed to wherever they come from. Once many are off hire there's little chance to contact them. A written handover with a two hour face to face worked great, until Covid came along.

Google Maps is great but I thought I'd do it without today... just stubborn I guess. And you're right about the wine, no wonder it was cheap!

----------


## malmomike77

> A possibilty mat be to have a Teams meeting with oncoming crew before they start travelling,


That's what i thought you'd do, a handover prior to disembarking - surely worth the company paying them a day shore based and getting up to speed? 

Having said all this we use Teams, our major customer BAES don't, instead they have Skype but its only internal. With them and us there are security issues but we manage and its never bean clear why they cannot adopt the same approach - except they and their management are incompetent - that much is clear in my dealings with them.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> A possibilty mat be to have a Teams meeting with oncoming crew before they start travelling


You don't want them putting a face to that stench of  ammonia you've left  on that buckled office chair and those rabbit towels. :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ True that!  :Smile: 

I'm glad to see how observant you've been.

----------


## Joe 90

Nice one Mendip, enjoying the update.
That shopping basket is a classic, did you have any unusual chit chat with the checkout girl over the contents?


Free the Dillinger! Poor fockers been tunnelling down not out, he had a deprived childhood you know,he wasn't sat down to watch the Great Escape at Xmas every year.
Doesn't know his Tom from a Dick or Harry when it comes to tunnelling. 

Enjoy the hang glider you've earned it!

On a side note the barmaid in the pub today came around with a football card, pick a team for £2 out of 40 teams they scratch of the winner at 8pm and they get £50 and the rest to charity.
Man City was gone unfortunately,  so I chose Bristol City FC and guess what......




I fooking won! :bananaman:

----------


## Saint Willy

> I fooking won!


That’ll get you 1 bottle of single malt. Don’t drink it all at once.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ ^erm..
> That's your first day back on terra firma sfter 3 months...
> 
> I was foreseeing something like  those US naval ships docking in Pattaya and the trail of carnage and debauchery.
> 
> The only birds on display here are a  feckin trifle
> 
> off


In England?Youre having a laff. He’s saving it up for his passport renewed trip to Bangkok in about a week’s time.

----------


## bsnub

Excellent updates Mendy! Love the pics!

----------


## Mendip

> SAW was not the old international airport which was on the european side of the strait - SAW was on the arabian side and catered for some budget flights and the biz jet tribes - from my recollection of 2018-2019


That's interesting, I'd never heard of SAW before and I can confirm it is still on the Arabian side. I can't believe those tight contractors flew me to Amsterdam on a budget airline. I don't feel so bad about sneaking the cost of an extra check-in bag on my flight to Bangkok now!





> That's what i thought you'd do, a handover prior to disembarking - surely worth the company paying them a day shore based and getting up to speed?


Another problem Mike is that we just don't have the bandwidth for Teams meetings on the boat. When I was meeting with the office before it was audio only which loses quite a lot.





> That shopping basket is a classic, did you have any unusual chit chat with the checkout girl over the contents?
> 
> On a side note the barmaid in the pub today came around with a football card, pick a team for £2 out of 40 teams they scratch of the winner at 8pm and they get £50 and the rest to charity.
> Man City was gone unfortunately,  so I chose Bristol City FC and guess what......
>  I fooking won!


I usually try to spark up a conversation with the check-out girls but  they're rarely interested to be honest. My daughter's 10 now and I  figured it's time to introduce her to Angel Delight before it's too  late. So long as I can find a decent egg whisk, that is...

And it's nice to see that Bristol City have made at least one person happy this year... 


The main news for me is that I checked this morning and yesterday's Pfizer jab is already uploaded on the NHS App, and I've downloaded the PDF certificate. Much as I like to criticise anything UK or Tory driven, I have to accept that this service has been superb. They couldn't upload my Norwegian cert on the NHS system but they accepted the info and yesterday's jab has been listed as 2 of 2, which is perfect. In 14 days I'll be classed as fully vaccinated!

I can apply for my Thailand Pass today.




> In England?Youre having a laff. He’s saving it up for his passport renewed trip to Bangkok in about a week’s time.


My next passport renewal isn't due until 2026 and even for someone as well prepared as me, that seems a little premature. I've got two medicals due before July which are 'in the bank' so to speak, but none of it matters since I've opted for the extra safe 3 day quarantine on my upcoming arrival.

----------


## Saint Willy

> In 14 days I'll be classed as fully vaccinated!


congrats, that's good news.

----------


## malmomike77

> I've opted for the extra safe 3 day quarantine on my upcoming arrival.


Good man, PM Chico for the latest on which Suki extra safe establishments are open for vittles.

----------


## armstrong

My 7 year old helped make the angel delight but refused to eat any.  Although she is very picky with her food. No idea where she gets it from

----------


## Shutree

> You will regret buying that red wine - its awful


Sadly true. Mendip, here you are, home at last having overcome various adversities and all cashed up after a long drag of night shifts. It should be Veuve Cliquot, at least.

Enjoy your time in UK.

----------


## malmomike77

> refused to eat any


But was is Butterscotch? the only flavour !!!

----------


## malmomike77

> all cashed up after a long drag of night shifts


Agreed, tight bugger.

Actually if you want a good drop of red and it pains me to say this, Lidl is the go to - their wine rating system ain't too far off and you'll get a very passable drop for c£8 - bargain

----------


## Reg Dingle

I remember PAG saying that wine was his  favourite. It's that 5 pound Castillo del diablo right? I don't mind that.  It's better than Blossom Hill :Smile: 

I bought some Angel Delight  for my daughter last year. She liked the first pack we made together, then turned her nose up at it the next time.
She  missed that nori seaweed stuff from 7/11, the weirdo.

----------


## malmomike77

> She missed that nori seaweed stuff from 7/11, the weirdo.


You've not tried her on the "Crispy Seaweed" from the chinky  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ does that stink like Mendys bunk too? :Smile:

----------


## helge

> does that stink like Mendys bunk too?


There's that possibility that Mendip dislike soap less than you do

----------


## malmomike77

> does that stink like Mendys bunk too


Mendip hasn't confessed yet to giving that birds seaweed a munch.

EDIT

The penny has dropped, why he was magnetically drawn to the prison. Confined spaces filled with men and a distinct whiff of piss - home from home  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

Fun fact...The name Helge is  Scandi for Holy, like Mendys wicked pants.





> There's that possibility that Mendip dislike soap less than you do


None of us dislike soap, it's the bloody cold water :Smile:

----------


## helge

> Fun fact...The name Helge is Scandi for Holy,


Yep  :Smile: 

Thanks for your interest

((can't see the 'fun' part of the fact though; Doing my best to live up to that .......good and godly baptized alias  :smiley laughing: )
and spare me the"holier than thou" comment))

----------


## Reg Dingle

That cross in your avatar.
Is that your place of worship? :yerman:

----------


## Mendip

> Sadly true. Mendip, here you are, home at last having overcome various adversities and all cashed up after a long drag of night shifts. It should be Veuve Cliquot, at least.
> 
> Enjoy your time in UK.


Thanks Shutree!

Last night I managed a couple of glasses of this _Casillero del Diabolico_ but it wasn't easy. Luckily after drinking Ya Dong for so long I can drink just about anything these days and still find it palatable. I Must admit I thought 5 quid was quite a respectable amount to spend on a bottle of wine... there was a load of them in a special place at the end of the aisle in Tesco so I thought it would be good.

I'm persevering this afternoon and will hopefully finish it off... after some cider of course.







> Mendip hasn't confessed yet to giving that birds seaweed a munch.


There's been a few allegations made today but I absolutely refute this one. I haven't been munching on any bird's 'seaweed' as you call it. I'm a married man.


Anyway, I don't know what all the fuss has been about. Yesterday I had my second Pfizer jab and by 5am this morning the details had been uploaded to the NHS App system. Later this morning I uploaded all my stuff to the Thailand Pass thingy and two hours later I had an email telling me I had been successful... with a PDF attached with my QR code. 

So, I'm going home on December 6th! Or am I missing something... this has been too easy? I can't see any reason why I won't be able to go back on a regular work rota next year if things stay this straightforward.


This morning I had to go down the local shop to get some potatoes and for a moment I thought I was back in Thailand.



The potatoes were for a big Sunday roast and with my Thailand Pass application all done with, now all I have to do is relax for two weeks. My biggest problem will be to avoid putting back on all the weight I lost offshore due to my mum's cooking.

Bella, my mum's dog will be getting lots of walks. After the roast chicken I took Bella along the river down from the house. As a teenager I spent hours and hours fishing for the brown trout in this river.

I once caught a 3lb rainbow trout at this spot. A load of big rainbows escaped from a trout farm upstream one summer and I can remember catching that fish as though it was yesterday. I just freelined a piece of floating bread crust down in the current until the fish took it.



Reminiscing's a terrible thing. I can remember all these spots along the river. The b@stard farmer has put up a barbed wire fence since my time, but that wouldn't stop any fisherman worth his salt.



Another good swim. Forty years ago it would have been me swinging on that rope. Bella though about it and I must admit I was tempted but didn't want to risk my phone falling out of my pocket into the water.



Guaranteed to catch a fish under that bridge. We used to catch lots of eels as well in this river, but from what I can gather they are completely absent these days. Sadly, the European eel is heading for extinction. They hatch in the Sargasso Sea and swim all the way over to European rivers to mature before swimming back to the Caribbean to spawn. Or at least they used to...



A nicely ploughed field.



And a nice Somerset sunset!

----------


## malmomike77

> Guaranteed to catch a fish under that bridge. We used to catch lots of eels as well in this river, but from what I can gather they are completely absent these days


I suspect farmers unregulated spraying and consequential run off, together with the useless water regulator OFWAT who seem to be allowing water companies to get away with over 440,000 individual raw sewage discharges may have something to do with it also. It beggars belief that we have these consumer regulators who seem wilfully incapable carrying out their sole purpose.

----------


## Edmond

That dog's well camo.

Take off the lead, move him a meter to the right, and you could post the photo in the Mendip Time's Spot The Dog competition.

----------


## Mendip

^^ I think that's the main problem, along with flood defenses restricting access from the sea to rivers. I think the relentless netting of elvers hasn't helped but I think that has been restricted latterly, particularly on the River Severn.

It's all a great shame.


^ Bella is a 'she'!

And while I'm about it, unless you're a continental, it's a metre!

I just can't risk taking her lead off... if she ran off my mum would go mad at me.

----------


## malmomike77

> I think that has been restricted latterly, particularly on the River Severn.


Most of the illegally caught elvers in the UK end up in the EU - they have gangs which come across and offer large cash sums for live caught elvers and collect in person in the UK -  i'll let you be a judge of how successful yet another EU regulation is  :Smile: 

What flavour is Bella, its not easy to tell.

----------


## Mendip

Bella's a cross between a something and something, not sure which but can find out. 

She was originally a sister's dog but ended up permanently with my mum during last year's lockdown... a good arrangement for mum and dog.

Maybe one day she'll end up Korat bound... the sister ain't interested.

----------


## malmomike77

^ Don't like to say it but your sisters attitude to a dog is pretty poor. Given the difficulty in getting a dog due to demand and massive rise in prices people were charging for dogs it has indeed worked out well for your mum - i bet she's been a great companion.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> And while I'm about it, unless you're a continental, it's a metre!


Nope  it's  1.094 yards.  :UK: 

Bloody Eurotrash :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ It's not that simple.

I know you like the Norwegians... did you know that a Norwegian mile is 10km, used to be 36,000 feet.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> did you know that a Norwegian mile is 10km


No, I've learned something new there.... You got any Pub Quiz nights lined up? :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^^497 chains

----------


## Shutree

> Last night I managed a couple of glasses of this Casillero del Diabolico but it wasn't easy.


The UK is a very price sensitive for wines in supermarkets. What I do is browse the GBP 9.99 labels, some of these are wines that should sell for more like 12.99 but supermarkets can't move them at that price, so there can be some half-decent wines, maybe an Hermitage or go north up the Rhône for Crozes-Hermitage or south for Châteauneuf-du-Pape. I like the Rhône reds, there are some jolly good whites there too. We are talking Baht 400 for a decent bottle of actual wine.

I miss wine more than I miss steak and kidney.

----------


## Mendip

^ Well if you come and visit Shutree you can have wine AND steak and kidney... how great does that sound!

I thought of you this morning when I popped down to the local Coop and tried to remember which wine you had recommended (I wouldn't take your advice on wildlife photography but you seem quite knowledgeable on wines). I couldn't get TeakDoor to load as Somerset isn't well served with 4G so I had to rely on my memory.

I don't think I did too bad... remembered the '_Rhone_' bit at least and it wasn't cheap. I just have to clear this awful Argentinian grog first which is nearly as bad as that '_Diabolico_' stuff.

I also found an egg whisk in a hardware shop so that's all my jobs done. That wasn't cheap either but I'll stick it in the daughter's Christmas stocking seeing as it's only really for her Angel Delight presents.



One thing that was cheap... last week I bought a jar of Celebrations at Amsterdam duty free for Christmas and it set me back 19 Euros... they had tubs for 4 quid in Coop, pissed me right off.







> What flavour is Bella, its not easy to tell.


I've discovered that Bella is half Shih Tzu and half Yorkshire terrier. She's a little cutie and if she ever does make her way to Korat I'm sure Yogi would love a crack at her. He'd soon teach her about the realities of life.




I've been a bit too efficient and have crossed everything off my list and now I'm at a bit of a loose end... and still have two weeks to go.

I've been doing more reminiscing than is healthy so maybe I need to get out and spend the afternoon at a pub? 

I noticed this in my mum's kitchen today... this was where my fishing career all started. I still remember catching that perch in a match on the River Kenn. Where ever has the time gone...

I may take it home to add to my other trophies... the wife and daughter will be well impressed!

----------


## malmomike77

> last week I bought a jar of Celebrations at Amsterdam duty free for Christmas and it set me back 19 Euros... they had tubs for 4 quid in Coop, pissed me right off.


RU mad  :Smile:  they usually have them on offer at 2 tubs for £7 at times. Cheeky gits have been slowly reducing the pack weights and maintaining the prices - about 4 years ago they were 780g ish now 600g i think.

----------


## armstrong

If you're back for Christmas I'd stock up on as much Christmas choccy stuff as you can. Bangkok at least is barren of it after Villa first put it out. The black market for Terry's Chocolate Oranges is going to be massive.

----------


## malmomike77



----------


## malmomike77



----------


## Reg Dingle

> I've discovered that Bella is half Shih Tzu and half Yorkshire terrier.


I'd have said  miniature Schnauser/ shitzu.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Eerily named :Smile: ...

----------


## malmomike77

Mendip, i can't be 100% here because its outside my comfort sphere but i think Dill is trying offer you a dogging session

----------


## Mendip

^ Does look very similar to Bella. I'll ask my sister... it was my mum who thought Yorkshire Terrier but I think she was just guessing. I reckon Bella could well have some Schnauser in her. She may also have some Yogi in her at a later date as well!

Any idea what Mr Malmo's picture is about? ^^^^

Edit: ^ I've just checked my list and that ain't on it this trip home... so Dill will have to look elsewhere.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> i think Dill is trying offer you a dogging session


Wouldn't he need a car or a willing partner? :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^ I thought that was what you were offering

----------


## malmomike77

> Any idea what Mr Malmo's picture is about? ^^^^


Well

























































s

----------


## Mendip

> ^ I thought that was what you were offering


I've got a car sorted but to be honest I think it's a bit cold for any outside activities. We had a frost this morning... it's bladdy freezing.

Not that I'd be interested anyway, of course.

----------


## Joe 90

> Any idea what Mr Malmo's picture is about? ^^^^


Its beer and curry concoction time! :bananaman: 

Then again the dogging suggestion might be more on the money :smiley laughing:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Any idea what Mr Malmo's picture is about? ^


 It looks like some kind of  hidden  message  

I see two cuckoo clocks.

Something to do with him getting cuckolded by Joe and Hal, possibly?

----------


## malmomike77

Clearly Mendip has forgotten

----------


## helge

Did you have plans for a meetup in Bath ?

----------


## Mendip

> Clearly Mendip has forgotten


Ummm... forgotten what?

----------


## malmomike77

well




























































s

----------


## Mendip

I'm thinking really hard here but nothing's coming.

But to be fair I am just having my tea.

----------


## malmomike77

God lord, you said you were running out of things to do so i pictorially suggested Wells, although coming from zomerzet it wouldn't surprise me if the fact it was more than 4 villages away you'd never bin oover thar.

Like your shopping list btw

----------


## Mendip

Actually I have a sister who lives in Wells, Bella's former owner, and it's on the list!

It is an awful long way off though... and I don't really like to use the car after lunchtime.

----------


## malmomike77

Shame you could have done a mini travel thread - fantastic Cathedral.

----------


## Reg Dingle

Is there an owed green on offer for guessing what's written on that note? :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

Mower on Barge

----------


## Mendip

> Is there an owed green on offer for guessing what's written on that note?


I just checked and I'm allowed to give you a proper green, nothing owed at all.

Go for it!

----------


## Reg Dingle

Mower on Marge?

----------


## Mendip

I doubt that, but I'm gonna have to get off my arse and go to the kitchen and check.

I hate to say it but I'm a bit curious meself now.

----------


## Mendip

:Smile: 

You'll kick yourselves when you find out!

----------


## Joe 90

Mowhawk on ledge :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I'd like to say close Joe, but that's nowhere near.

Think what my 85 year old mum would write on a note. It all makes sense.

----------


## Joe 90

It's like wheel of fortune without that milf Jenny Powell  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> I've been a bit too efficient and have crossed everything off my list and now I'm at a bit of a loose end... and still have two weeks to go.
> 
> I've been doing more reminiscing than is healthy so maybe I need to get out and spend the afternoon at a pub? 
> 
> I noticed this in my mum's kitchen today... this was where my fishing career all started. I still remember catching that perch in a match on the River Kenn. Where ever has the time gone...
> 
> I may take it home to add to my other trophies... the wife and daughter will be well impressed!


A perch was the first fish I ever caught on the canal behind my mum and dad's when I was a kid too. You should get out there for a spell while you're back and use up some of that free time. Running up and down the canal every morning was too much for me when I was back last summer; I was up at the fishing shop in no time and was out 3 or 4 times a week every week in different places. I loved every minute of it and, more importantly, I never stopped catching!

Many an day spent on here when I was a kid and it was still offering up plenty of roach and perch - and plenty of pike - when I rocked up again!



I'd love to just retire, go back home and fish and eat pork pies all summer! Just a shame there are only about 3 days of it!!!

----------


## Joe 90

Fishing under those electric pylons?
Last time I rode under them I got an electric shock of my bike frame.

----------


## Mendip

^^ Hal, that's a great idea. All my old coarse fishing gear is still in the garage. I'll check it out tomorrow but I reckon after nearly 40 years it'll need a bit of attention. I'd love to catch a big perch again... that one of yours looks like a fine fish!

----------


## hallelujah

> ^^ Hal, that's a great idea. All my old coarse fishing gear is still in the garage. I'll check it out tomorrow but I reckon after nearly 40 years it'll need a bit of attention. I'd love to catch a big perch again... that one of yours looks like a fine fish!


I got out and about to a few private places and had some lovely tench and bream too. Glorious days with some great fish and then stopping at the chippy on the way home for as much gravy as a man could ever wish for!

It doesn't get much better than that, does it? 

I will say that it wasn't quite as enjoyable as the months started to tick over, so make sure you've got some thermals on and a hip flask with you if you do get out!

----------


## hallelujah

> Fishing under those electric pylons?
> Last time I rode under them I got an electric shock of my bike frame.


Nowhere near them mate. There's a stretch further up which is blocked off, but the biggest danger I faced was from dogs being walked who were hellbent on running off with my fishrag!!!

No matter what time I was there, I didn't even see any dogging either. Damn. Drat. Blast.

----------


## Joe 90

> No matter what time I was there, I didn't even see any dogging either


Unusual that for Manchester,  usually those canal paths are awash with nefarious activity. :rofl:

----------


## Shutree

> I don't think I did too bad... remembered the 'Rhone' bit at least and it wasn't cheap. I just have to clear this awful Argentinian grog first which is nearly as bad as that 'Diabolico' stuff.


The Malbec should be a small step up from that Diabolico. A very small step up. Still, Malbec is usually drinkable.

(Grumble about TD. I wrote a much longer message and it wasn't auto-saved beyond here when I tried to post it and TD said I wasn't logged in. All gone. Try again.)

The Côtes du Rhône should be very drinkable with a snake & pygmyor pork pie or anything really.

I happened to be listening to a UK radio station yesterday when Boots advertised a promotion on Braun/Oral-B products. Perfect opportunity for you to get that electric toothbrush. Get the more expensive model and remember extra brushes for the family and for replacements. They wear out and they are a little pricey here.

I am enjoying the photographs.

----------


## Shutree

> Think what my 85 year old mum would write on a note. It all makes sense.


Can I get back to you when I hit 85 and see what makes sense then?

The note is saved, but not urgent, she knows where it is when she needs it. So I am thinking it is a note that gets re-used occasionally. Like 'No milk today.'

Do you have a grass verge outside the house that gets mowed sometimes? Then a note like that on the table could be a reminder that the mower is on the verge.

----------


## armstrong

"money on fridge"

?

----------


## Mendip

> Mower on Barge





> Mower on Marge?





> Mowhawk on ledge





> 'No milk today.'
> 
> mower is on the verge.





> "money on fridge"


This is painful... I thought it was pretty obvious. Greens/owed greens all round for effort... apart from Joe, that was ridiculous. Shutree's 'No milk today' was also pretty poor.



Yep, my mum leaves this note on the kitchen table to remind her when she's put the electric mower on charge in the garage. I must admit, I hope I'm still fit enough to be mowing my lawn at 85.

I've inherited my mum's habit of writing notes to myself, to which end I keep a large yellow post-it pad and pen in my carry-on bag. I've done this ever since I left 8 kg of mature cheddar in a Bangkok hotel mini-bar when I had to make a stop-over on my way home one time. Since then I'm sure many Bangkok cleaning ladies have been bemused to find a yellow post-it note saying 'CHEESE' stuck to the inside of my hotel room door after I've departed.





> Hal, that's a great idea. All my old coarse  fishing gear is still in the garage. I'll check it out tomorrow...


Going fishing today seemed like a great idea after a couple of ciders last night... but bollocks to that. We had a frost last night and it's bladdy freezing out there. 

I'm gonna do some computer stuff today.

----------


## Shutree

> Shutree's 'No milk today' was also pretty poor.


*Like* that, of that ilk, a note that gets re-used, occasionally. Should have got there, tbf. At 85 her mower has to be electric. Not a great leap from there.

Great pic of a frosty morning. Nice to see, from the warmth of my sofa, far away. I'm not good with cold. This morning at 0630 it was noticeably cool here, not cool enough to need a heavier T-shirt though.  :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

^^ I need to do that with my bike. Keep forgetting it's plugged in.

----------


## hallelujah

Snow forecast for the weekend, I believe. Yeah, fuck the fishing off!

I reckon a couple of shots of you propping up the bar of the Mendip Inn would be appropriate, given the inclement conditions outside though.

----------


## malmomike77

> Yep, my mum leaves this note on the kitchen table to remind her when she's put the electric mower on charge in the garage.


should get her a timer plug

----------


## Reg Dingle

Or a Thai gardener :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> Or a Thai gardener


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

I went for a drive to Clevedon with my mum today. The weather's gonna turn at the end of the week so it's nice to do some stuff beforehand.

That's Wales in the background, across the Bristol Channel.



On the way back my mum wanted to stop off at a supermarket to get some food for the food bank. I thought I'd completed my shopping list for Thailand... but no.

How can you resist that!



I took just a couple of these babies. I've never tried them before but I'll save that experience for a special occasion back home. I also bought a couple more for the food bank... my mum's been having a go at me because I only really give money to animal charities so I thought this would please her a bit.

Has anyone tried them before? Joe maybe?  :Smile: 



What I don't understand is that all the ingredients only add up to 18% so whatever makes up the other 82%?



And no egg? Will I have to do eggs separately? That kind of defeats the purpose.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Someone put a You Tube vid up on here somewhere of that  pie getting 'panned' in a review :Smile: 

Can't find the post but here's the vid...





Probably be great the morning after a skinful of ya dong

----------


## Mendip

^ I must admit it seems like a strange concept but you can't go on just one review.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ I must admit it seems like a strange concept but you can't go on just one review.



 :rofl:  you’ve made up your mind…

----------


## Joe 90

> Has anyone tried them before? Joe maybe?


I tried the chicken and mushroom recently. 
The first time in my life I've had one.
It's amazing how high the puff pastry rises in the oven.
Still a bit stodgy, but not bad for a snack with some home made chips and baked beans.
Btw they're 99p oop north, you've been had :Smile: 

That all day breakfast looks interesting,  I reckon you trial it first and report back coz there's a couple of us gone down with dodgy guts today on account of last nights "curry off". :rofl: 
Dills been blaming it on his booster jab which is bollocks, I had the booster and didn't notice any side effects. 
I bet his kitchen was full of crap this morning too :rofl: 
I blame Nammers for my white knuckle ride , telling me I'd forgotten to put the chilli in, twat.

Those food banks are big business over here at the moment.
I've got a couple of colleagues who work part time for them and some of the fookers getting free handout every week are driving round in new cars with private registration plates etc.
Pisses me off, I claim fvck all and provide for my family as a single parent.
Cvnts out there are milking the system with no shame.
But there are a lot of genuine cases which is sad coz there should be no need for food banks in this day and age.
Just get down the bargain bucket at the right time and elbow your way to a kilo of pork chops for 50p :smiley laughing:

----------


## malmomike77

> I thought I'd completed my shopping list for Thailand... but no.


Poundland or B&M?




> my mum's been having a go at me because I only really give money to animal charities so I thought this would please her a bit.


You may wish to educate her about how much these benevolent charities spend on admin and pay their so call chief execs et al. They don't get mine any more, most are thinly disguised money making machines who hide behind their original  raison d'être - sadly.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> my mum's been having a go at me because I only really give money to animal charities


Didn't you tell har about your passport runs near Cockatoo? :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ My mum comes from a simpler time and I don't see the need to complicate things for her.

I hope no conman gets my two pies, that would piss me off.

One thing I have noticed on the telly over here, apart from the endless antique, house repair and cooking shows, is the relentlesd charity ads. After a while you just get charity overload, the ads just never stop.

----------


## malmomike77

^ be careful Mendip. A lot pf these charities have been found to lean heavily on older people. They get them to sign up for a small amount per month and then start with pressure sales calls and letter drops playing on sympathy about how much extra you can help with another £10 or 20 and it goes from there. Many are far from benevolent and find praying on old people easy.

----------


## Joe 90

Indeed,it's an industry. 
A penny in the pound to charity and the rest disappears. 
It's worse than the timeshare industry.

----------


## malmomike77

These chuggers get quite mouthy if you don't cough up and some try to get in your face and intimidate you verbally which i find quite amusing, especially when you take the time to turn around and have chat about what they have just shouted at you. Quite enjoy using a few minutes on a Saturday handing it back.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> You may wish to educate her about how much these benevolent charities


There are a fukkin Incredible 170 THOUSAND registered charities here in the soft UK.

More beggars here than Bangkok and Vietnam combined I reckon.
Most of these dossers are on the dole and have a drug problem. 
Those fokkers outside poundland can all afford fags and cans of white lightning.
O
This one scruffy kont knows just one tune on his fukkin harmonica. 

Theres an old woman here in town called Polly the Trolley who  goes around all the salvation army's and churches with her shopping bag filled to the brim of food. She  buys all that wild bird seed from Wilko too and feeds all the vermin pigeons around here encouraging them to lay more eggs (because that's what they do when  food is plentiful) and shit all over the place and peoples cars.

Most charity givers only do it for the karma. I hope one of those pigeons shits in her mouth. That'll teach her. :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

:smiley laughing: 
Polly the trolley!

----------


## Mendip

^ Well that's strange... I bought my mum a sack of wild bird seed today, but she feeds the blue tits and sparrows, not pigeons apart from one big wood pigeon that calls in the garden. She also got a tenner out of me for the Salvation Army today. Her name's not Polly, by the way!

I also bought my mum a new microwave today as her current one has got rust on the inside, I've never seen that before. 

What do you do with an old mIcrowave in the UK?  In Korat I'd just leave it next to the bin and it'd be gone in minutes... unless of course it was in a particularly dangerous condition. In that case I'd give it to one of the inlaws!

----------


## malmomike77

> There are a fukkin Incredible 170 THOUSAND registered charities here in the soft UK.


Yep, tax free income as a business and the wankers running them are paid like FTSE 250 CEOs - its a joke. Want money - come up with an idea, register it as a charity, send collectors, except they are on commission - cvnts are called chuggers, wait for the cash to roll in and release a little bit to the end recipients - job done.

Me - i'd have a bonfire of most of them and laugh me tits off watching them line up to apply for social.

----------


## malmomike77

> What do you do with an old mIcrowave in the UK?


go to the local recycling centre

----------


## Reg Dingle

Just tried to Google her. This will be her.. :Smile: 

Crowdfunding to help fund Polly'&#39;'s amazing help for homeless and hungry people in Banbury, Oxfordshire. on JustGiving

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Her name's not Polly, by the way!


That's a relief.  :Smile: 

Although a bird shitting on you is considered good luck in some parts.

I once won a few bob down Hall Green dogs after catching one on the forehead. :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> What do you do with an old mIcrowave in the UK?


Tip as Mike says or write FREE and good working order on it and stick it outside next doors, or wait for someone shouting Old Iron :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

The worst beggars are them youngsters that cold call your door with "official ID badges" and hivis waistcoats who genuinely believe that showing you pictures of starving dogs will persuade you to set up a standing order and donate every month to some fookers champagne lifestyle.

Last time I gave to charity was just before a works Xmas do a couple of years back at Picadilly station in Manchester. The cvnt said he was hungry, so I took him in Greggs and bought us a pasty each, he replied with the comment that he just wanted a few quid to buy a brew!
My feel good factor turned to anger as I realised he just wanted a bag of spice,  I just walked off and left the ungrateful cvnt to it.
The city centre is awash with beggars because of dogooders giving them new timberland boots, sleeping bags, hot meals etc etc.
They even come from all over the country because they know it's easy pickings with the churches regular dogooding missions.
In reality the dogooders are just encouraging begging and giving them no incentive to get of their arse and work like everyone else.
Rant over :Smile:

----------


## OhOh

> whatever makes up the other 82%?


The top panel shows Tomato sauce and pastry, both shown but no % indicated.

The ingredients' panel shows all the ingredients, I believe in descending % of weight is the UK standard.

----------


## Shutree

> You may wish to educate her about how much these benevolent charities spend on admin and pay their so call chief execs et al. They don't get mine any more, most are thinly disguised money making machines who hide behind their original raison d'être - sadly.


Same here, I don't give any of them money. I used to give blood but that go too hard in the UK, I had either travelled to the wrong countries or had acupuncture other than on the NHS. I'd still give tangible things like food to a food bank though. I'd probably choose baked beans or something a bit easier to eat than a tinned pie though. Not everyone has an oven. Myself included.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I seem to remember that you were the only person in the entire world I'd ever heard about who had TWO convection ovens? I've been holding you in very high regard since I discovered that... maybe wrongly?

A convection oven is perfect for a Fray Bentos pie.

----------


## Shutree

> ^ I seem to remember that you were the only person in the entire world I'd ever heard about who had TWO convection ovens? I've been holding you in very high regard since I discovered that... maybe wrongly?
> 
> A convection oven is perfect for a Fray Bentos pie.


I did have two air fryers until the larger one self-destructed. The smaller one is okay for a couple of sausages or a portion of frozen chips. Unless those tinned pies are much smaller than I remember then they wouldn't fit and they'd be tricky to cut in half.

It is about 0530 on a cold morning where you are. TD can wait until breakfast, or pub opening, or pub closing perhaps.

----------


## Mendip

^ My body clock is still on nights... I'm wide awake by 4am most days and at a loose end before it gets light.

----------


## Headworx

Hey Mendip, FYI you can get all of this in Thailand now.

----------


## Shutree

Time to get in the early morning run. Did you buy some new trainers?

----------


## Mendip

^^ I don't really need that kind of information to be honest mate, but thanks anyway!  :Smile: 

Those kippers look good!

^ Yeah, got some nice new trainers but it is bladdy freezing outside. I seem to have lost all resistance to the cold and no way could I live here again. Although in saying that a couple of long walks with a mate and his two collies may happen up on the Mendips this weekend.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Although in saying that a couple of long walks with a mate and his two collies may happen up on the Mendips this weekend.


Is that a euphism for "I'm going dogging?"

----------


## Stumpy

> Hey Mendip, FYI you can get all of this in Thailand now.


I gotta say, it seems most of the food posted by you UK folk seems to be packaged, canned, frozen, processed food.  Do you guys really eat all that crap frequently and comment on how good it is? 

Just asking....

----------


## bsnub

> Do you guys really eat all that crap frequently and comment on how good it is?


 ::chitown:: 

 :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> The smaller one is okay for a couple of sausages or a portion of frozen chips. Unless those tinned pies are much smaller than I remember then they wouldn't fit and they'd be tricky to cut in half.


Jast a suggestion Shu - perhaps part with 1200THB for a new one :Smile:

----------


## armstrong

> Hey Mendip, FYI you can get all of this in Thailand now.


Those sausage and bean melts are brilliant.

----------


## Shutree

> perhaps part with 1200THB for a new one


Having tried it I'm not sure about the whole top-loading thing. I'm not especially dextrous and getting things in and out without burning some part of me seems difficult. Also none of the ones I see around looks any better built than the Otto pos that exploded. I did look on Lazada and the Philips XXL is about 25K. Ouch.
I might just get myself an oven. Or eat out more.

----------


## cyrille

> I gotta say, it seems most of the food posted by you UK folk seems to be packaged, canned, frozen, processed food.  Do you guys really eat all that crap frequently and comment on how good it is? 
> 
> Just asking....


It seems pulling a box of e-numbers out of the freezer and bunging it in the oven allows more time for photographing the results and uploading on here.

It’s all a question of priorities, I guess.  :Sad:

----------


## hallelujah

> It seems pulling a box of e-numbers out of the freezer and bunging it in the oven allows more time for photographing the results and uploading on here.
> 
> It’s all a question of priorities, I guess.


He doesn't half love his processed British food though, our headworx!


 :UK: 

What would he do without Siambury's?

----------


## malmomike77

> I did look on Lazada and the Philips XXL is about 25K. Ouch.
> I might just get myself an oven. Or eat out more.


I would get one of those table top square ovens, you can get one for c5000THB at a decent size double glass front and rotisserie. Bought one 5 years ago and its still going strong.

----------


## Headworx

> He doesn't half love his processed British food though, our headworx!


I've tried the sausage rolls before (wasn't particularly impressed) and won't be trying any of the other items, but thought Mendip and possibly others would like to know. Had some roast chicken leftover from lunch and salad in a multigrain wrap for dinner tonight which is typical, but too boring to post a pic of. Sorry if that upsets you.




> What would he do without Siambury's?


They're not from Siamburi's.

----------


## armstrong

It's got Villa written all over it. Mostly because that's where I buy them from.

----------


## hallelujah

> Sorry if that upsets you.
> 
> .


How could I ever be upset with you? 

You're doing a sterling job of flying the flag for our great nation and its food.  :Smile: 

Keep it up mate. 

 :UK:

----------


## Headworx

^Do us all a favour and fuck off elsewhere to another thread to make a total cvnt of yourself. Thanks.

----------


## cyrille

> Do *us all* a favour


What, all the posters standing behind you while you display the extent of your obsession with England, while being too much of a wuss to even declare your own nationality?  :Very Happy: 

Got any names ... 'cos I don't see anyone.

----------


## armstrong

No sausage but got a mince one. 



Won't have it for dinner today, will think about it all day tomorrow and get in the mood.

----------


## hallelujah

> No sausage but got a mince one. 
> 
> 
> 
> Won't have it for dinner today, will think about it all day tomorrow and get in the mood.


Are you sat close to a box of tissues?

----------


## cyrille

It does seem like he has all the ingredients there to push him well over the edge.

Correction: No beans. Should be able to get home safely.

----------


## bsnub

> Are you sat close to a box of tissues?


Apparently he is. 




> It does seem like he has all the ingredients there to push him well over the edge.


Sadly, he seems to have been encouraged to buy this shit by HW post. 




> It seems pulling a box of e-numbers out of the freezer


Ya, these wankers would fit right into the American trailer parks and would be welcomed Walmart shoppers. Where they would slop down McDonald's and hot pockets.

----------


## Looper

> Won't have it for dinner today, will think about it all day tomorrow and get in the mood.


Don't rush the main event in excitement using a microwave.

You might blow your beans prematurely and in an uncontrolled and catastrophic manner.

Could be a major kleenex clean-up scenario.

----------


## Saint Willy

> What, all the posters standing behind you while you display the extent of your obsession with England, while being too much of a wuss to even declare your own nationality? 
> 
> Got any names ... 'cos I don't see anyone.


Has Hall or Toots stolen your login Cy?

----------


## OhOh

> They're not from Siamburi's


Where are the kippers available from in Thailand?

----------


## armstrong

> It does seem like he has all the ingredients there to push him well over the edge.
> 
> Correction: No beans. Should be able to get home safely.


Beans were in the bag  :smiley laughing:

----------


## armstrong

> Apparently he is. 
> 
> 
> 
> Sadly, he seems to have been encouraged to buy this shit by HW post. 
> 
> 
> 
> Ya, these wankers would fit right into the American trailer parks and would be welcomed Walmart shoppers. Where they would slop down McDonald's and hot pockets.


I had a McDonald's for dinner actually.

Maybe I should have stuck to that healthy staple of Thai street food?

Or a 2kg steak?

----------


## cyrille

> Maybe I should have stuck to that healthy staple of Thai street food?
> 
> Or a 2kg steak?


Yeah, 'cos those are the choices.

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Looper

Bella is a bewt Mendip.



A dog (basset hound?) at Woody Point beach in Redcliffe last weekend


What a spot to take in the sunset over the placid waters of Moreton Bay.

----------


## Mendip

^ She is a little cutie... spoiled rotten but good fun. It makes a nice change to have a manageable dog.

Nice sunset... I can't wait to get back to the warmth.

----------


## hallelujah

That looks like a beagle on me crappy phone screen, loops.

----------


## Mendip

It does look a bit Beagle-ish... maybe Looper has some royal connection. The Aussies usually love all that stuff!




> I gotta say, it seems most of the food posted by you UK folk seems to be packaged, canned, frozen, processed food.  Do you guys really eat all that crap frequently and comment on how good it is? 
> 
> Just asking....


It's what keeps us young and care-free mate!

As for me, I get it very rarely so really enjoy it when it happens. I also think there's a tendency for some to take tongue in cheek posts a bit too literally.

And anyway, I walked straight past a bakery today without even popping in for a steak and kidney. After a week of eating shite it's out of my system now, and besides, today I found this... you can't beat a tongue and tomato ketchup sandwich!  :Smile: 



I spent all morning in my mum's garden which has become exceedingly overgrown. I could say stuff about my siblings but I won't... the perennial problem when you live away. 

I had to pop in to Weston-Super-Mare after lunch and it has become the most depressing and grotty place on earth. At one point W-S-M had the highest number of drug rehabilitation centres in the country and with such a high drop-out rate there's only one possible end result... 

I couldn't find one nice photo to take and I hope to never go back there again, which is a shame as it used to be only shite and tacky but still OK when I was a teenager. Walking down the High Street was like something out of that bar in Total Recall and I'll never complain about living in Korat ever again... well, at least not for the first week back anyway.

I lie... took one photo. Al I wanted was a parking ticket, FFS... 



I'm easing up on the alcohol after a week off work. After 3 dry months it's been good to get re-acquainted but enough is enough. I found these in Morrison's today... 3 for a fiver, so just for the experience I had one of each. The Cornish Gold won hands down. I also got my Christmas choccies... does anyone know what goes in the 'Heroes' tubs? That's the only one I haven't got... I'm running out of space unless I book a third check-in bag.



I had to look in a charity shop of course as they seem to be everywhere in the UK. I found a great tankard for £1.20 but I don't want to end up taking a load of shite back to Korat. Hal, something for you maybe?



Bella keeps me sane. I get mildly pissed up on cider in the evenings while my mum snoozes in front of antique programmes... and Bella just looks at me. It's a bit mundane and not what I'd have been doing after a 3 month offshore trip 20 years ago, that's for sure.

I love dogs. Those 3 months offshore already feel like a distant memory now that I've had a week 'home' in Somerset but now I want to go back to my real home. Time moves on fast and I want to see my own dogs and my daughter, sit with them by the pond with a Leo... it's been over 3 months... oh, and the wife of course!



Oh yeah... in my last work thread there was talk about watches with HW and PAG while I was stuck in Gothenburg through the festive season (where's PAG BTW...). Well, nearly a year later I've finally been united with last year's present to meself after working 6 months straight... and I'm chuffed to fukk. It's not often I spoil myself.

----------


## Joe 90

Nice watch and cup Mendip!

All those seaside towns have gone to the dogs nowadays,  not many left that are untouched by drugs, poverty and unemployment.

----------


## malmomike77

> you can't beat a tongue and tomato ketchup sandwich!


One of my favourites less the ketchup. Never seen it in a can, must be a local thing.




> I've finally been united with last year's present to meself


You forgot to take your xmas cracker toy home.  :Smile:  I have stopped wearing my watch the last 2 years and i really don't fancy putting it back on.

^ sadly true. Many are reliant on seasonal holiday trade and then are dead for 9 months a year. There doesn't seem a will or a plan to fix these problems, certainly not for the last 30 years.

----------


## hallelujah

> Nice watch and cup Mendip!
> 
> All those seaside towns have gone to the dogs nowadays,  not many left that are untouched by drugs, poverty and unemployment.


Yeah, very true. Mendip's description made me think of Blackpool; the problems it has are identical, but I loved that place - and its tackiness - when I was a kid.

I reckon that cup would look reet good in my kitchen. It's 1 more cup than my team is likely to see this season too!  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ I'll swap it for a piece of a Pyramid for my rock collection? I'm sure you can sort that out.

----------


## hallelujah

Done deal. Let's set up a "passport" day in Bangkok one day next year for the exchange.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Sounds good. It might have to be a 'medical renewal' day, but I can get that out the way in the morning!

Look forward to it.  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ Sounds good. It might have to be a 'medical renewal' day, but I can get that out the way in the morning!
> 
> Look forward to it.



Medical renewal? Ho ho ho ‘‘twas only 17 posts ago you were saying that you didn’t need anymore passport renewals till 2026! I see what you did there.

As for those watches, they look very nice. Simple with a low profile. So many men’s watch seem to go for a huge clunky look these days that I really don’t like. But those look the opposite. Enjoy!

----------


## Mendip

I've had the Air-King Date for 30 years and one of my favourite things about it is that it's inconspicuous. When it's bracelet wore through last year it was so expensive to replace that I thought about a replacement watch. The Air-king is from the early 80s, the 'new' Date-Just from 1975. That's the last watch I'll buy and they'll both be worth more in 10 years time.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I've had the Air-King Date for 30 years and one of my favourite things about it is that it's inconspicuous.


Why do you keep showing the fucker off on here for then? :Smile: 

It's about as inconspicuous as you and your wicked kecks around your curled up manky toes with the shed door wide open, pulling the head off your nob  :Smile: 


Your new kettle looks sweet mate. Nice looking evening or dress watch that. A Bobby(and gardener) dazzler :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ show us yer toes then!

I'm gonna start a foot thread. I reckon mine would stand up to anyone else's. Lots of bluster on this forum with no substance.

I've shown you mine...

----------


## Joe 90

Challenge accepted..

----------


## bsnub

> I've shown you mine...

----------


## Headworx

Nice Datejust, those bi-metal jubilee bracelets look great too. Do you know the service history? That's a huge buying/selling point with the older watches these days.

----------


## Stumpy

> Ya, these wankers would fit right into the American trailer parks and would be welcomed Walmart shoppers. Where they would slop down McDonald's and hot pockets.


 :smiley laughing: 

I was thinking same.  That is Walmart trailer trash food.  Life out of the freezer and into the microwave. Explains why so many kids are fat.  Loaded with sodium to taste good and preservatives to last for a few years in the freezer.

----------


## Stumpy

> I'm gonna start a foot thread.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOO....  just NO!

We have seen enough of yours.  You set the ( verp) standard mate.   :Smile:

----------


## happynz

That Rolex Air-King is a beaut.

----------


## Headworx

> That is Walmart trailer trash food.


For sure it is, but if it makes someone happy to eat such things occasionally and takes them back to a time when things like that were a real treat when they were young or lived in another country or just to satisfy a craving, there's nothing wrong with that. It's not like this is all they eat in a lot of cases, it'd be like thinking Americans stuff themselves with supersized Burgers and Fries and any other junk food they can get their hands on _every_ meal and not just occasionally, all because they posted a pic of a trip to Five Guys. 

 I haven't had a pizza for what must be nearly 2 months now but will probably get one this week, if I post a pic of it will some clown here say _fuck is that sort of shit all you ever eat!?_ Probably..

----------


## Saint Willy

> I've had the Air-King Date for 30 years


Looks like the glass needs polishing or replacing.

----------


## hallelujah

Is it just me that can't abide by anything else apart from a leather strap on a good watch?

I think they look so much better on the wrist than steel.

----------


## David48atTD

> Is it just me that can't abide by anything else apart from a leather strap on a good watch?
> 
> I think they look so much better on the wrist than steel.


Leather straps perform poorly in the tropics.

I agree they look great, so I buy two ... a leather one and a SS or Silicon one.

----------


## Headworx

Rolex use a stainless steel unlike anyone else that's got a real sparkle to it, once you've had one you can spot a fake on someone's wrist from 10 yards away. The gold in their brackets is solid 18k so with these 2 things combined, they're a great looking watch with or without a leather strap.

----------


## malmomike77

> I haven't had a pizza for what must be nearly 2 months now


You done it now - you won't be able to stop thinking of one til you've eaten it now

----------


## Mendip

> One of my favourites less the ketchup. Never seen it in a can, must be a local thing.


That was the first time I've seen or bought Ox tongue in a can. And the last. It wasn't very nice at all and Bella did well last night. I love the sliced pressed tongue that comes in packets, like ham, and in Thailand the wife often boils up a pig's tongue and then slices it up... goes well with a dipping chili sauce.






> Challenge accepted..
> Attachment 78950



What I'd give for webbed toes... I'd have a chance of beating the daughter in our swimming competitions. It's not often I'd like to be Welsh!





> That is Walmart trailer trash food.  Life out of the freezer and into the microwave. Explains why so many kids are fat.  Loaded with sodium to taste good and preservatives to last for a few years in the freezer.





> For sure it is, but if it makes someone happy to eat such things occasionally and takes them back to a time when things like that were a real treat when they were young or lived in another country or just to satisfy a craving, there's nothing wrong with that.


Yeah, exactly HW. It's not like I eat it every day, but it's a great treat. And Stumpy, you sadly underestimate the power of those preservatives. Those Fray Bentos pies last for years in the cupboard, even in the tropics. There's no need to freeze them at all!

----------


## malmomike77

> the wife often boils up a pig's tongue and then slices it up.


Its on my list now

----------


## Mendip

> Do you know the service history? That's a huge buying/selling point with the older watches these days.


No I don't have the service history but I do trust the jewelers. They put the watch through a major service before selling it and if there was a problem they'd sort it out, no problem. It's the same place I bought my Airking from in 1992. As for selling it... I hope this will be the last watch I'll ever buy so that shouldn't be an issue!





> That Rolex Air-King is a beaut.





> Looks like the glass needs polishing or replacing.


Yeah, I love the Airking... it keeps awful time (used to gain about half a minute a day but now seems to be losing time... it's time keeping seems to vary with the climate) and is looking very battered. One day I'll probably pass it on to the daughter (if she behaves herself!)... I think it's small enough to be worn as a ladies watch.

 I have always worn it for everything but when the bracelet wore out last year it was going to be so expensive to replace I decided to treat myself with a proper chronometer. My plan is to wear the Airking for every day use and try and keep the Date-Just for best... which in my case means sitting by the pond with the dogs in the evening. The glass face needs replacing and a service wouldn't go amiss. A big problem I find is at home we have pathways around the garden next to concrete walls and it's very easy to scratch the watch against a wall. I'll try and sort out the glass replacement and service next year when we visit the UK... the cost of the Rolex servicing in Bangkok was extortionate the one time I used them.





> Is it just me that can't abide by anything else apart from a leather strap on a good watch?
> 
> I think they look so much better on the wrist than steel.


After the Airking's bracelet wore out I put the watch on a black leather strap, but as David98 mentioned, leather doesn't do well in the tropics and it soon started to fall apart. I don't think the swimming and pond cleaning did it any good. Following someones suggestion on here (PAG or HW I believe) I now use a black nylon NATO strap and it works just fine. They're dead cheap as well so I will just replace the strap as and when required. In fact I bought a couple on Amazon last night to keep me going for a while.

----------


## Mendip

> Its on my list now


It's really nice barbecued/roasted as well. In fact I'm quite looking forward to some simple Isaan food in a couple of weeks!

----------


## happynz

Consider a silicone tropic strap.  They're super comfy and durable. They're also very affordable - less than USD$20.00.

----------


## Saint Willy

> you sadly underestimate the power of those preservatives. Those Fray Bentos pies last for years in the cupboard, even in the tropics. There's no need to freeze them at all!


You say that like it's a good thing!

----------


## Saint Willy

> it keeps awful time (used to gain about half a minute a day but now seems to be losing time... it's time keeping seems to vary with the climate) and is looking very battered.


Sounds like it needs a decent service. 




> I'll try and sort out the glass replacement and service next year when we visit the UK


IF only, you were somewhere near the UK now...




> One day I'll probably pass it on to the daughter (if she behaves herself!)...


I gave my watch to my son when he turned 13... but it wasnt a rolex. 




> the cost of the Rolex servicing in Bangkok was extortionate the one time I used them.


That's a surprised, I guess they have to ship them to Switzerland? 

Other watches can be serviced for quite a decent price.

----------


## bsnub

> The glass face needs replacing and a service wouldn't go amiss.


Is it acrylic or sapphire crystal? Either way, crystals or glass as you call them are relatively inexpensive even for a genuine Rolex part and replacing them is an easy task for any watchmaker.

----------


## Headworx

^All modern Rolex are sapphire crystal but as that's an older watch, it may be acrylic. I've seen before/after shots on Rolex forums of similar problems being sorted out nicely with a product called Polywatch and one guy experimented successfully using toothpaste! If you look at the pic closely they're not cracks in the lens, they're his arm hairs and you'd normally expect something that hairy to have a banana instead of 2 quality time pieces.

----------


## bsnub

> All modern Rolex are sapphire crystal but as that's an older watch, it may be acrylic.


That is why I asked him, not sure what year his is, but Rolex started putting sapphire crystals on in the early seventies. 




> I've seen before/after shots on Rolex forums of similar problems being sorted out nicely with a product called Polywatch and one guy experimented successfully using toothpaste!


I would not use toothpaste. I have however used polywatch and can say that it works a treat.

----------


## malmomike77

> ^All modern Rolex are sapphire crystal but as that's an older watch, it may be acrylic


Yep acrylic, mine is sapphire crystal and it just doesn't scratch.

----------


## Headworx

> I would not use toothpaste.


I wouldn't either but one guy did and it worked, his logic being the lens was already completely ruined and was going to be replaced at the next service so he thought no more damage could be done! Can also recall seeing someone remove the Cyclops from their lens, he used a blowtorch to heat it up then carved it off with a scalpel! There was a certified lady Rolex service-person on the forum at that time and she use to go ballistic at these guys and them posting home hacks with their watches  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

> Sounds like it needs a decent service. 
> 
> IF only, you were somewhere near the UK now...


I don't have enough time this trip to get the watch serviced. The jeweler I bought it from will do a basic service and adjust the timing but I'd have to post it over to him and get it posted back again. I'll give him advance warning before come over next year so he can order a replacement glass face, in case he doesn't stock them.

The Rolex place on Wireless Road in Bangkok was the most expensive service I've ever had, by a long way. I'm pretty sure they did it on site, but anyway, I won't use them again.





> ^All modern Rolex are sapphire crystal but as that's an older watch, it may be acrylic. I've seen before/after shots on Rolex forums of similar problems being sorted out nicely with a product called Polywatch and one guy experimented successfully using toothpaste! If you look at the pic closely they're not cracks in the lens, they're his arm hairs and you'd normally expect something that hairy to have a banana instead of 2 quality time pieces.


Yeah well, enough of the compliments. FYI the two aren't mutually exclusive and I had a banana for breakfast today while wearing my new watch.

The face is sapphire crystal and is the third since I've owned the watch. The first was bitten through by a dog in the UK, a few years before I first visited Thailand. The bite not only broke the glass but also dented the metal face beneath and the watch probably saved my wrist from a nasty wound. The second glass just needed changing through wear and tear, as does the current one. I've found that the sapphire crystal will scratch fairly easily if you scrape the watch along a concrete wall or wear it while demolishing concrete or mixing cement... while building a jetty for instance. I need to look after my stuff better and the Date-Just will be pampered in comparison to the Air-King Date.

----------


## Looper

> That looks like a beagle on me crappy phone screen, loops.


I defer to your dogworthy knowledge Hal as I am do not know anything about dogs apart from which end is the front.




> It does look a bit Beagle-ish... maybe Looper has  some royal connection. The Aussies usually love all that stuff!


I can't believe there is a dog related area of enquiry in which I am more informed than TeakDOOR's preeminent cynologist

I don't know much about dogs Mendip but I do know that her most magnificent Maj keeps Royal Corgis, not peasant beagles.

To the tower and orff with his head mods!



The only beagle reference model I am aware of is Snoopy

----------


## Mendip

^ Oh yeah, quite right. I don't know what I was thinking!

----------


## malmomike77

> I've found that the sapphire crystal will scratch fairly easily if you scrape the watch along a concrete wall or wear it while demolishing concrete or mixing cement..


Well i have no idea how, i have had two watches with sapphire crystal and they've been though quite a lot and never a mark on them - the only time one failed was when the strap pinged off whilst i was leaning out of a balcony 4 floors up- it smashed the glass and didn't do the internal much good when it hit the ground.

----------


## Saint Willy

> I've found that the sapphire crystal will scratch fairly easily if you scrape the watch along a concrete wall or wear it while demolishing concrete or mixing cement... while building a jetty for instance


 Are you walking around pdrunk? 

But yes look after your stuff better, I don’t wanna state the obvious but take you watch off to pour concrete , build jetties or swim in a pond. 




> don't have enough time this trip to get the watch serviced


12 weeks not enough?

----------


## Joe 90

I haven one cheap all rounder Gshock and a chunky posh Armani dress watch that I don't particularly like but save it for special occasions.

----------


## Saint Willy

If I don’t like it I won’t wear it. Posh or not.

----------


## Mendip

^ I have 2 weeks in the UK... there was no Rolex servicing centre on the boat.

----------


## David48atTD

Are Australian waters a potential option?

Australia to see 118 oil and gas project starts by 2025 - Offshore Energy

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^ I have 2 weeks in the UK... there was no Rolex servicing centre on the boat.


You flew into Europe didn’t you? Post it from Europe, get on the boat, pick up 12 weeks later at Mom’s gaff. Sorted. Even 2 weeks might have been enough, tbf. Obviously a moot point now.

----------


## Headworx

> Yeah well, enough of the compliments. FYI the two aren't mutually exclusive and I had a banana for breakfast today while wearing my new watch.


You're welcome mate and aren't opposable thumbs a great thing for banana consumption once you get the hang of how they work? Now, if you'll only learn to peel them without using your feet  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> A big problem I find is at home we have pathways around the garden next to concrete walls and it's very easy to scratch the watch against a wall.


Mine has an acrylic face. I had been wearing it daily for about ten years when I happened to be with a colleague who was meeting the then MD of Rolex in Hong Kong. This chap noticed my watch and told me it needed a service. He took it away and it was later returned in absolutely sparkling and as-new condition, all f.o.c.

I hadn't realised how scruffy it had become and I was well chuffed with the shiny watch as I left my house the next day. I walked out of my apartment buidling with a jaunty air and promptly swung the watch face along the rough concrete wall. I lived with those scratches for about ten more years before that watch saw another service. I had to pay for that one, which was a bit painful.

Years later I met an old guy who seemed to know all there is to be known about watches. He told me that there is no sapphire glass for that watch, they are not interchangeable and Rolex never made one for that model. Maybe I'll try the toothpaste.

----------


## malmomike77

> He told me that there is no sapphire glass for that watch, they are not interchangeable and Rolex never made one for that model.


That is my suspicion too. Mine isn't Rolex but it does have sapphire glass and its been scraped, knocked, you name it - the FiL was amazed at being able to drop it in a glass of water and to try scratching it with sandpaper - nothing touches it - the bracelet is fairly well scratched, the glass untouched. I don't think you have sapphire glass Mendip - i may be wrong however.

----------


## bsnub

> Maybe I'll try the toothpaste.


Polywatch is what you want to use. It is not expensive at all and works great.

----------


## Mendip

> You're welcome mate and aren't opposable thumbs a great thing for banana consumption once you get the hang of how they work? Now, if you'll only learn to peel them without using your feet


You think I would let my feet close to food!!?  :Smile: 





> Years later I met an old guy who seemed to know all there is to be known about watches. He told me that there is no sapphire glass for that watch, they are not interchangeable and Rolex never made one for that model. Maybe I'll try the toothpaste.





> That is my suspicion too. Mine isn't Rolex  but it does have sapphire glass and its been scraped, knocked, you name  it - the FiL was amazed at being able to drop it in a glass of water and  to try scratching it with sandpaper - nothing touches it - the bracelet  is fairly well scratched, the glass untouched. I don't think you have  sapphire glass Mendip - i may be wrong however.


To be honest, when I said it was sapphire crystal I have absolutely nothing to back that statement up, so I guess it looks like acrylic. Would this also mean my 'new' Date-Just would have an acrylic face as it's a bit older than the Air-King? Is it easy to tell the difference without setting your FiL onto it? 

Ain't that first scratch after a service a horrible feeling Shutree... a bit like brushing a hedge the first time with a brand new car. I'm glad I drive a 15 year-old Vigo at times. Oh, and that Cotes du Rone was about 8 quid if I remember correctly, and yes it was a lot better than the Diabolico stuff.





> Polywatch is what you want to use. It is not expensive at all and works great.


Thanks Snub, I will search for some today. Seems like a better option than toothpaste.


Bella has kindly agreed to let me take a tube of toothpaste back to Thailand... who'd have thunk it? Mind I think it would be a quick way to lose a couple of fingers if I try it on Yogi. I was considering playing a 'family prank' but the Thai contingent in the household doesn't seem to share my sense of humour.



And a question for such knowledgeable members. I mentioned a few days ago that I was buying a new microwave for me mum as her present one seemed to have rust stains around the inside, where the sides joined the base. The new one arrived yesterday and as I removed the old microwave a load of water poured out from inside the frame somewhere (and over my feet). I'm really glad I spotted this because it doesn't seem safe at all... but where would that water have come from? I can only think accumulated from steam condensing over the years, but it seems like a bad design fault.

And another dilemma... an old mate wants to go it for a drink tonight and as much as I'd love to catch up I'm thinking of crying off. Covid rates are high and virtually no-one wears a mask from what I've seen. A packed out, cosy country pub seems like the prefect place to catch Covid and I'm flying in a week... just don't think it's worth the risk.

----------


## Saint Willy

> And another dilemma... an old mate wants to go it for a drink tonight and as much as I'd love to catch up I'm thinking of crying off. Covid rates are high and virtually no-one wears a mask from what I've seen. A packed out, cosy country pub seems like the prefect place to catch Covid and I'm flying in a week... just don't think it's worth the risk.


Sound reasoning but you live like a hermit as it is...

----------


## David48atTD

Car Headlight cleaner to polish the acrylic watch cover?

----------


## bsnub

> Thanks Snub, I will search for some today. Seems like a better option than toothpaste.


Polywatch is only for watches with acrylic glass. If you have a sapphire crystal, it will not do anything to it, in fact the only way you can polish a sapphire crystal is with diamond polish.

----------


## malmomike77

> can only think accumulated from steam condensing over the years, but it seems like a bad design fault.


Yes, some Microwaves don't vent well. I always leave my door open for a while after use to let the steam out and air circulate.

----------


## Topper

Mendip, maybe I missed something.....

Why do you wear a watch when you're at home in Thailand?  Simplify your wear and tear on your time pieces by not wearing one.  I haven't worn a watch since I moved to the PI.  Should I need to know the time, I simply ask my wife, since she's constantly got a phone in front of her face.   :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ No, you didn't miss anything Topper, I just like to wear a watch I guess.

I never took that Air-King off... the great thing about a Rolex is that you don't have to worry about anything. Although in saying that I'm starting to see the folly of wearing it for building work and I'm gonna start looking after my watches a lot better and the Date-Just will be very protected. I ordered some of Snubby's Polywatch today so I'll see what I can do with the Air-king.





> Are Australian waters a potential option?
> 
> Australia to see 118 oil and gas project starts by 2025 - Offshore Energy


Not with the tax they charge, no!

In fact Australian waters are one of the least favoured waters for many contractors... depending on the rates of course. For the type of vessel I work on to carry out work in Aussie waters most of the marine crew have to be changed out for Australians... pretty much all apart from from some key positions such as skipper, first mate, chief engineer, etc. I once reliably heard of an an argument between an established ship's cook and the Aussie cook that also had to come on board when the ship worked in Australia (all unionised of course). The Aussie cook complained because the established cook had make bread... and apparently that's the job of a baker, not a cook. Yeah, call the union! He was serious as well and the bread went overboard. 

Nah, I hope not to work in Australian waters... but never say never of course.





> Sound reasoning but you live like a hermit as it is...


And I always thought I was quite sociable!

I'm not risking a crowded pub but I'm sure we'll meet up for a drink somehow... I prefer a lunchtime pint anyway.

----------


## Saint Willy

Or a lunchtime pint that rolls into dinner time

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I'm not risking a crowded pub but I'm sure we'll meet up for a drink somehow... I prefer a lunchtime pint anyway.


You said you learned how to use Teams on the boat.

Get online on the lash with him. It's the new normal.

----------


## Mendip

FFS... are you in the bath?

This is a family thread!

----------


## Mendip

That post has amazed me.

I didn't realise northerners took baths!  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

Are you saying that coz Dill is all wrinkly? i think its becoz he's getting old  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> That post has amazed me.
> 
> I didn't realise northerners took baths!


Dills a wannabe notherner :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

> and I'm flying in a week... just don't think it's worth the risk.


even fully vaxxed , don't risk it  -  getting a positive PCR is a pain and fcuks all plans

----------


## Reg Dingle

I thought that said fully waxed. :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

You know its funny that, when i see Baldrick i always associate the name wth a waxed arse crack, fishnets and a margarita.  :Smile:

----------


## baldrick

> I thought that said fully waxed


should bendy mendy try waxxing ? he might get more action from the wife

what was it that gets said about hairy northern monkeys ?

----------


## Mendip

There's been a lot of untoward insinuations made on this thread... but I ain't from up north. That's a step too far.

----------


## Saint Willy

> FFS... are you in the bath?
> 
> This is a family thread!



FFS you spent way too long looking at that pic to figure it out.

----------


## Stumpy

Better pack up and hurry home Mendy.  The Omicron Covid strain is on its way.

----------


## Mendip

^ You're not wrong Stumpy, but I can't leave until my 15 days after vaccination is up. This new Omicron is a real worry... if things close down again over the next week I have no idea when I'll get home. Fingers crossed.

To be honest I've had enough now and want to get moving. It's great of course to see my mum and at 85 there's obvious worries every time I leave, but my home is in Thailand now.

I'm remembering why I first left the UK all those years ago... my work always finished around this time of year and who wants to spend the winter off in the UK? Today it's been windy and cold all day long. The crows loved it.



Also I can feel the weight I lost slowly coming back on. I can't understand it because I'm eating healthy but the weather is limiting exercise I guess.

A little snack for my tea!



I've also noticed that I'm farting like a trooper since I came back to the UK. They're real wiffy too... it must be all the boiled veg my mum's feeding me on. Bella doesn't know if she's coming or going... my mum keeps sticking her out in the garden, poor thing.

Another thing... I don't really get the opportunity to wear my new Charlie Harper bowling shirt in a wintry Somerset. Roll on my Bangkok quarantine!  :Smile: 



I've had a strange request from my mum... since my Grandad died in 1989 she's been keeping his favourite line of plants going by taking cuttings every few years. Now she wants me to continue the line, and wants me to take a few cuttings back to Thailand. No problem I guess... but will these grow in the tropics?



Oh well... one week to go... one more week of watching abysmal TV every night and sneaking slugs of whisky in my tea. I won't miss the UK I must admit.

----------


## Joe 90

They're money plants Mendip, they grow like fook anywhere.

The Thais view them as good.luck, so give one to your wife for Xmas. 
Preferably wearing your new boxers, winner winner Fray Bentos dinner :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> A little snack for my tea!


JHC Galio wine... you mate are a bloody lost cause...cheap American shite. Go to Lidl and fish out something that is 89 or higher on their ratings for c£8

----------


## Saint Willy

> or higher on their ratings for c£8


Que the next Mendy rant that he never pays more the £6 for a bottle of wine and preferably £4.99 or less

----------


## naptownmike

My mother had a big plant just like that when we we're kids. 

For some reason one day I pulled off a leaf and broke it in half and touched it on my tongue it burned like crazy but I had keep quiet to avoid getting smacked in the head.

Just a friendly warning should the desire come to anyone else  :Smile:

----------


## katie23

Is it allowed to bring plant material like cuttings into TH? (In PH, it isn't allowed unless you have a special permit).

@mendip - glad you're enjoying your UK time with your mum & Bella. Hope you'll be able to travel back to TH stress-free (what with the new threat of the omicron variant).

----------


## nidhogg

^ you are correct.  Import of plants to Thailand is regulated.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Import of plants to Thailand is regulated.


Pretty much the case in every country in the world.

----------


## russellsimpson

That looks like a jade plant and I've always understood that they prefer dry climates. I don't remember seeing those in Thailand, not down south anyway.

----------


## OhOh

> Pretty much the case in every country in the world.


Mendip, Pop a question over at 'arrys thread:




> Thailand quarantine and entry conditions


He will let you know the vaccination, quarantine and scientific studies to bone up on. Probably has an importer or a Thai official's name he has utilised.

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## David48atTD

> They're money plants Mendip, they grow like fook anywhere.
> 
> The Thais view them as good.luck, so give one to your wife for Xmas. 
> Preferably wearing your new boxers, winner winner Fray Bentos dinner


Confirming they grow in the Tropics ... but also illegal ... but embrace the Thai in you and don't give a fuck  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ The last thing I want to do is break any bio-security regulations.

I still feel a bit guilty after hiding that toad in my pocket when I visited Australia a few years ago. I must admit I was hoping a couple of sprigs of my Grandad's jade/money plant would be OK, so long as I avoided wiping any on my tongue!





> JHC Galio wine... you mate are a bloody lost cause...cheap American shite. Go to Lidl and fish out something that is 89 or higher on their ratings for c£8


It wasn't great Mr Malmo... but I've had a lot worse and sort of enjoyed drinking it. I don't seem to have a very well-developed pallet when it comes to wine. I found it at the bottom of my mum's larder and I now know why it had been left there for so long. 


I must admit I'm watching the European spread of this Omicron with some concern... particularly the ineptitude at Schiphol. I have to transit through AMS a week on Monday and hope no restrictions are put in place beforehand.

As anyone unfortunate to be a frequent flyer these days knows, luggage is all important. While I've been in the UK I've been doing a lot of online shopping and treated meself to  new carry-on to replace my old, knackered, falling apart one. On advice from several colleagues I went for Wenger and it looks the bollocks. I just spent the morning transferring all the crap I seem to carry around from my old bag and I can just tell this one will be good. 56 quid on Amazon.

It's got pockets and compartments everywhere... ideal for hiding a small sprig broken off a house plant!  :Smile:

----------


## happynz

> particularly the ineptitude at Schiphol.


I just transferred through Schiphol this past Friday. No dramas.

Top tip - pick up a 180gr bar of Tony's  Chocolonely Salted Caramel. I'm sure it will be hit at home. Only 3.30 Euro.

----------


## malmomike77

> It's got pockets and compartments everywhere...


I find less is more on carry-ons. You'll cunningly place an important document or something in a pocket where you'll think its safe, and it will be because when you are trying to find it later on the plane you'll end up hunting through the whole backpack 3 or 4 times. Good luck with it though.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^ I noticed all that 'Tony's' stuff at Schiphol 10 days ago when I passed through... never seen it before. Due to my new regime I didn't partake, but I guess a small bar of 'Chocolonely Salted Caramel' at Chrismas will be ok! Thanks for the tip!

^ MM, I know what you mean, and the bigger your carry on is, it just encourages you to carry more crap. I'm pretty organised these days though... a separate compartment for my document wallet, a small bag for all my cables and chargers, etc, and still space to hide an extra bottle of duty free underneath everything.

----------


## malmomike77

> I went for Wenger


Good brand, Victorinox and SwissGear

----------


## Mendip

> I'd have said  miniature Schnauser/ shitzu.


I saw my sister today and discovered that Bella's mother was a Shih Tzu and her father a Yorky/Maltese cross. So no green owed for you.

My dogs in Korat are more pure bred than this thing.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> Bella's mother was a Shih Tzu and her father a Yorky/Maltese


Oh yeah. From that angle you can definitely see she's full Maltshityo. :Smile: 






> This new Omicron is a real worry


I'd also be  worried about some cold and bitter posters on here stuck in Blighty amidst this bastard Siberian Winter,  tipping customs and immigration off about some burly West Country Charlie Sheen lookalike with a dry cough, sporting a pair of Jesus creepers with creosote stained half grown  toenails a big shiny inconspicuous new kettle and Arsene Wenger bag full of a new strain of kratom :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> I'd also be worried about some cold and bitter posters on here stuck in Blighty amidst this bastard Siberian Winter, tipping customs and immigration off about some burly West Country Charlie Sheen lookalike with a dry cough, sporting a pair of Jesus creepers with creosote stained half grown toenails a big shiny inconspicuous new kettle and Arsene Wenger bag full of a new strain of kratom



 :rofl:

----------


## Mendip

> ... some burly West Country Charlie Sheen lookalike with Jesus and Arsene Wenger ...


Well, it would be an interesting conversation on that flight!

But enough of the compliments, today for lunch my mum cooked what the packet said was gammon, but what we've always called boiling bacon. It was certainly boiled in a saucepan (for a very long time) and my question is, can you get this in Thailand? I love it. The only gammon I've found in Thailand are these processed gammon steaks at Makro but I'd love to find a proper joint of 'boiling bacon' in Korat, if it was possible.



Tonight was my habitual cheese and pickle snack with what even I can tell is some pretty awful wine. My mum is tea-total and I've taken it on myself to clear out her larder of these old bottles of wine to free up some space. It's not often I wish I had a glass of Mont Claire... Don't worry MM... tomorrow I'm off to Lidl!

----------


## Saint Willy

Not all wines improve with age. Half that lot migh the vinegar, best to dump it.

----------


## malmomike77

^^ you can make your own Gammon from pork leg using salt. Plenty of recipes and pork is cheap in Thailand too.

----------


## David48atTD

> Congrats to David88, even at 99kg you are still  the winner which I guess is only justice after you were so cruelly  robbed last time. A box of Turkish Delight is on it's way.





> Graciously accepted 
> 
> 
> Now, I've got you @ 102.5 the day you leave Mother England ... still a worthy weight!
> 
> (blame the weight gain, not of the many SnK Pies washed down with gallons of Cider ... but on your toenail growing back ... those suckers are heavy)


Cough ... we doing this one Mendy?  :Smile:

----------


## Top Cat

Great thread Mr Mendip. Little tip on the supermarket wine front: Yellow Tail Shiraz. About £6 a bottle. Appreciated by wine connoisseurs world wide. Well all the pisspots I know anyway.

----------


## Mendip

> Cough ... we doing this one Mendy?


Cough... no!

I'd love to, but no scales unfortunately. I think you may be sadly disappointed anyway, I had to put a new hole in my belt today. On the thin end!


I've had enough now and just want to get moving before this Omricon spoils all my plans. It's freezing cold here and my mum seems to be immune to it. The heating goes on for about 12 minutes every morning and not again until 6pm. I keep advancing it but every time I walk past the boiler it's been turned off again. I wish I hadn't left my cold weather gear on the boat now.

It's funny, right now it's hard to imagine what it would be like to feel hot... but I know that, Omricon permitting, in 10 days it will be hard to remember what it was like to feel cold. It's amazing how quickly you adapt. Well, I say it's 'funny'... it's funny for me cos I'm getting the fukk out of here in a week but I don't think I'd find it so funny if I was here for the entire winter!  :Smile: 

Anyway, at a complete loose end today I went to the local Coop, just for something to do.

There's still loads of empty shelves but I've moved on so won't comment on the possible cause of that. It may just be because that Dillinger has moved down this way?



Looks like Armstrong may have called in as well!  :Smile: 



If the worst happens, at least I have something to look forward to. I once saw the Wurzels live around 35 years ago and it was a great night out. I would recommend this to anyone living just up the M5 a few miles, a bit pricey mind.



I took the long way home to pass some time and do some reminiscing. First stop was Thatchers Cider Farm shop.

It's bloody closed on Mondays, but here's an apple orchard close-by.



Here is the western end of the Mendip Hills. Crook Peak at the right of the pic is 191m above sea level. This is about the same as Korat (200m above sea level) which seems amazing since I can walk up Crook Peak in an hour but the ascent to Korat from Bangkok seems to go on forever. I was supposed to be going for walks up to Crook Peak with a mate and his two Collies, but he's just had a colleague test positive for Covid and has to isolate. Bugger.



This is the dam at Blagdon Lake. It was built around the turn of the last century to dam the River Yeo and create the lake.



During my teens I spent hours and hours fly fishing at this lake, both from the bank and from hired rowing boats. I have great memories of this... there was a group of around 6 or 8 of us... we used to camp out, spend all day at the lake from sunrise to sunset. Great memories. Even got a girl to join me occasionally!

The view eastwards from the dam.



And the view to the north, up Butcombe Bay. There were loads of water birds about but some of the splashes were from trout rising. More memories.



I'm pretty sure the black birds are coots but I'm not sure what the black birds with white wings are. Shutree?



This is a typical lane around this way. It's easier driving at night when the lights tell you if anything is coming the other way... unless of course they forgot to put their lights on. Memories of speeding around the back lanes to make a pub before last orders and get included in a lock-in came flooding back.

Very close to this spot I found a dead hare in the road one night on my way back from fishing on the lake. It was still warm so I took it home and we had jugged hare for a few days. It's skin and ears are still up in my mum's loft with my fly tying gear.



It's not all apples and cider around here... a Somerset vineyard!

I've never tried Somerset wine but it can't be worse than the stuff I've been finding at the back of my mum's larder.



An old manor house. I used to call in there occasionally to ask permission to go ferreting on their land. It was never a problem so long as guns weren't involved... and so long as I dropped off a rabbit or two at the end of the day. Ferreting's only done in the winter and those were the days when I could stay outside all day long in the cold.



The ploughing done... ready for the frost to break up the soil with the Mendips in the background.



This is the field behind where I lived to about the age of 10. The hedge along the right marks a small stream where we used to catch bullheads and eels, and the occasional small trout. It's pretty well empty of fish 45 years later. That solitary tree in the backgound, just to the left of the dog walkers, looked the same 45 years ago. Memories of climbing that bugger...



To improve my melancholy I popped in to the churchyard to see my dad's grave on the way home!

It's a beautiful church, dating back to the 15th Century.



And a tree fully laden with mistletoe! Christmas is coming up.



When I got back home I had a cup of tea with half a square of home-made tiffin. You can't beat a bit of tiffin!



And later my customary evening tea with some old photos to maintain my maudlin mood... where have the years gone? Salt and Pepper were my first ferrets. They're buried in the rose bed.




> Yellow Tail Shiraz. About £6 a bottle.  Appreciated by wine connoisseurs world wide.


... with some half decent wine for a change... thanks for the tip Top Cat, although it was £7.50...



This looks familiar... in less than 2 weeks I'll have 6 pairs of eyes watching me while I eat. I can't wait for that!



But to be honest, these memories and melancholy are all very well... but this isn't my home any more. 

That was then and this is now... a couple of days drifting around the bars on lower Sukhumvit next week will snap me out of it!  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

^ the Wurzels - they used to play in the Magpies pub every year out the back in the field with a stage and cider tent, last time it was £5 inc a pint of either medium or dry. 

Now old jolly Jack was a hardworkin' chap,
And he longed for the chance to be free,
Stuck a pin in the map as it laid on his lap,
And he stuck it in gay Paree.
It were quite by chance that he heard of France,
'Cos he'd never been away before,
He was straight off the boat, with his ten-bob note,
When his heart fell through the floor.


Chorus: Oh, I'll never get a scrumpy here
No, I'll never get a nice mild beer
Give me England every time, my dear
'Cos you never get surprises livin' in Devizes
However hard I bloomin' try
Seems I'll never get a hot meat pie
In old Somerset's where I'll die
When I die.....


So he made his way, in complete dismay,
Where the folks all goes at night,
And standing there was a girl so fair,
Her eyes were shinin' bright
Put 'is hand in his pocket, and it felt like a rocket,
Glowin' in his hand like a flame
So he winked his eye, and she give a cry,
"Have you chicken?" "No, I'm game!"

----------


## Joe 90

That new variant is a fast moving development,  I'm praying for a winter furlough although I can't see it.
Realistically there's no way the UK is gonna entertain another lockdown. 
I hear what you're saying about country lanes and night driving, so much safer.
Looking forward to those sukhimvit pics :sexy:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Very close to this spot I found a dead hare in the road one night on my way back from fishing on the lake. It was still warm so I took it home and we had jugged hare for a few days


Roadkill, you ate roadkill!

----------


## David48atTD

> It's funny, right now it's hard to imagine what it would be like to feel hot... but I know that, Omricon permitting, in 10 days it will be hard to remember what it was like to feel cold. It's amazing how quickly you adapt. Well, I say it's 'funny'... it's funny for me cos I'm getting the fukk out of here in a week but I don't think I'd find it so funny if I was here for the entire winter!


Lovely post there Mendy.

---

Re the cold, drop by your local Charity Shop, buy a bit of warm gear on the cheap.

Keep your Money for your Honey  :Smile:

----------


## Headworx

> The ploughing done...


Speaking of which, how long will you be quarantining in BKK?

----------


## Shutree

> I'm pretty sure the black birds are coots but I'm not sure what the black birds with white wings are. Shutree?


I'd agree with Coots and the others possibly male Tufted ducks. I cannot make out the tufts on the pics. Nev is your man here. 

Here is an Internet pic:

----------


## Shutree

> I wish I hadn't left my cold weather gear on the boat now.


Erm, it will be December tomorrow. So did you just abandon your cold weather gear or leave it for someone else to use? That is expensive clobber.

At least you have moved on from drinking vinegar. You only have a few days to enjoy it, I'd be grabbing some French or Italian bottles. You will be back in the wine desert soon enough.

----------


## Shutree

> It's freezing cold here


FWIW, in this part of Isan the air has been distinctly chilly in the early mornings. I kid you not, no aircon the last few nights and going outside at 6 a.m. it has been chilly. To the extent that the gf wore a long-sleeved T-shirt this morning. Once the sun ges going we are enjoying dry, bright days.

----------


## Mendip

^ My favourite time in Isaan... as soon as the temperature drops below 30 the wife will be wrapped up like an eskimo and the winter duvet put on the bed. Let's hope it stays cool through to late Feb at least... then one day you wake up to the 'hot as hell' season, just like that.

Ii's looking good for work back on that same boat next year Shutree so I left a fair bit of stuff onboard. This was mainly in case I turn up for a trip next year but my bag doesn't make it... in which case you can spend the entire trip in the clothes you arrive in. Very amusing when it happens to someone else but a real b@stard when it happens to you.

You're usually offered a few donations of underwear and T-shirts to see you through the trip but it's still a pain. I always offer a pair or two of boxers if a colleague is stuck in that predicament but I never get any takers!  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

How low does it go up in Isaan in the depths of "winter?"

I've been in Laos in December and it was jacket on many nights (much colder up in t'ills obviously), but I've only ever been in Isaan for one night in the cold season (Nong Khai for a night in mid December, same trip) and that was late teens/early 20s, so it was perfectly pleasant.

----------


## Mendip

We'll get down to 13 or 14 degrees at night in Korat, cool enough for a jacket/fleece to sit by the pond outside. The day times are high 20s, breezy and with clear skies... glorious for a Westerner, fur coat weather for a Thai.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> How low does it go up in Isaan in the depths of "winter?"


Well looking  in his gallery :Smile: , he's bought two selection boxes and a Thai sized pair of Santa's little helpers to give the gardener a 'twirl' and a nudge up the 'fudge' the 'twister' :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^ Ho ho ho!

What can I say, I like Christmas!

And that was a sarcastic laugh by the way... you need a hobby...  :Smile:

----------


## Shutree

> How low does it go up in Isaan in the depths of "winter?"
> 
> I've been in Laos in December and it was jacket on many nights (much colder up in t'ills obviously), but I've only ever been in Isaan for one night in the cold season (Nong Khai for a night in mid December, same trip) and that was late teens/early 20s, so it was perfectly pleasant.


Hal, this is my seventh winter and they have varied a lot. Now, end of November, is the earliest I can remember it turning cool. My first winter was Nakhon Phanom province, beside the river. Tesco had scarves, gloves and woolly hats by mid-November but it stayed warm into the new year. I teased the locals about the woolly hats. Then, one night in February it turned cold. I went to bed in my clothes and next day bought a cheap duvet and stll had to sleep in T-shirts. Children from farms were arriving in school wrapped in blankets. Most did not have hot water at home.  At night I went out for dinner with a fleece over a couple of layers and with scarf and gloves. It was cold overnight, single figures Centigrade for a short while. Daytimes very comfortable in the sun. Then last winter here in Nongbua it seemed not to get cold at all, only the cooler more comfortable weather that Mendip describes.

----------


## Reg Dingle

^ Do you not have a  thermometer?

About 20 fukkin degrees I bet :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> one night in February it turned cold. I went to bed in my clothes and next day bought a cheap duvet and stll had to sleep in T-shirts.


Its Bear fukkin Grylls  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

I know its cold when I go outside in the mornings and my Thai family members have a small fire burning and they are all huddled around it.
So I have on occasion checked the local temperature on the net and it is usually somewhere between 18 to 20 degrees Celsius.
I have in the past five years worn long pants about 5 times and a jumper/pullover about the same but normally just get around in shorts and tee shirt like in the hot times.
I really don't think I would like being anywhere when it gets down to zero like the warmth.

----------


## Joe 90

1 or 2 degrees above freezing is luxury here.
It's that damn incessant drizzle that cheeses me off.

----------


## bsnub

Jeezus, what a bunch of pussies. Talking about being cold in Thailand and Laos. 

 :rofl:

----------


## aging one

> Jeezus, what a bunch of pussies. Talking about being cold in Thailand and Laos.


Hey when you have not felt below 80F in the mornings and 95+ mid day to sunset you get a different perspective on cold.  If you came here in hot season in April you would really be shocked. March-May is 85 for a low and 105+ for a high each and every day.

----------


## hallelujah

> Hal, this is my seventh winter and they have varied a lot. Now, end of November, is the earliest I can remember it turning cool. My first winter was Nakhon Phanom province, beside the river. Tesco had scarves, gloves and woolly hats by mid-November but it stayed warm into the new year. I teased the locals about the woolly hats. Then, one night in February it turned cold. I went to bed in my clothes and next day bought a cheap duvet and stll had to sleep in T-shirts. Children from farms were arriving in school wrapped in blankets. Most did not have hot water at home.  At night I went out for dinner with a fleece over a couple of layers and with scarf and gloves. It was cold overnight, single figures Centigrade for a short while. Daytimes very comfortable in the sun. Then last winter here in Nongbua it seemed not to get cold at all, only the cooler more comfortable weather that Mendip describes.


You should move south and get yourself closer to Bangkok. I had socks on in bed for a week once and then it was back to cracking the flags and 30 celsius for the rest of December and January!

It was indeed amusing seeing the locals in fur-lined parkas, scarves and woolly hats during this time though!

----------


## bsnub

> If you came here in hot season in April you would really be shocked. March-May is 85 for a low and 105+ for a high each and every day.


I would be dead.  :Smile: 

I spent time in Georgia on business, and it was 101 degrees and 99% humidity and was utterly miserable. The reality is that I tolerate cold much more than heat, especially with the summers here being so much hotter recently and the forest fires that fill the air with smoke. Something that never happened when I was a kid. Makes me appreciate fall and winter even more.

----------


## hallelujah

> Hey when you have not felt below 80F in the mornings and 95+ mid day to sunset you get a different perspective on cold.  If you came here in hot season in April you would really be shocked. March-May is 85 for a low and 105+ for a high each and every day.


Kanchanaburi, Ayutthaya and other places nearby in April. Dear God, that is some fucking heat. 

I was in Bagan in Burma too one April and that was fucking insane. More of a dry heat I thought though.

----------


## bsnub

> More of a dry heat I thought though.


I can handle dry heat, it is the humidity that kills me. I am fine in Vegas or even Death Valley.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Kanchanaburi, Ayutthaya and other places nearby in April. Dear God, that is some fucking heat.


And the mad Thailand Tigers AFL footy team always play a game at 2.00pm in Kanchanaburi!

----------


## hallelujah

> I can handle dry heat, it is the humidity that kills me. I am fine in Vegas or even Death Valley.


Yeah, me too. There have been times in Thailand when the heat and humidity have quite literally taken my breath away.

Stepping out of the car just after Hat Yai, close to the border with Malaysia, in late March was another one of those occasions.

If you ever make it over there, make sure you time it for this time of year and head for Korat so you can snuggle up with Mendip and the gardener when the temperatures are going the other way.  :Smile:

----------


## hallelujah

> And the mad Thailand Tigers AFL footy team always play a game at 2.00pm in Kanchanaburi!


I used to go running at that time when I first arrived like a proper newbie. I soon wised up to that though.

----------


## Mendip

> If you ever make it over there, make sure you time it for this time of year and head for Korat so you can snuggle up with Mendip and the gardener when the temperatures are going the other way.


Yeah, come on up in March Snubs... you'll be begging me for some silk wicking underwear before you know it!

----------


## malmomike77

Abour 14 years ago went to Leemworl outside bkk. Actually had a laugh but the funniest was santaworld or whatever it was called. A small warehouse with various snow attractions that had turned to ice. All thias were issued puffa jackets freezing their little selves, bkk being hot and humid i walked in to a comfortable 6c in me T shirt, was bliss. Then creamed all the kids on the petrol gokart track. Ahhh the memories

----------


## bsnub

> If you ever make it over there, make sure you time it for this time of year and head for Korat so you can snuggle up with Mendip and the gardener when the temperatures are going the other way.


HAHAHA! It will be for sure! 




> Yeah, come on up in March Snubs... you'll be begging me for some silk wicking underwear before you know it!


If I do come to LOS you and Ant, Norts, LT, Stumpy/Jp, and AO would be at the top of my list!

----------


## Saint Willy

> Then creamed all the kids on the petrol gokart track. Ahhh the memories


 :goldcup: 

My hero!

----------


## malmomike77

Thanks it was a glorious  memory, the kids and  their dads crying, were you crying along. I found i had  an advantage over the far fvcks.

----------


## Mendip

> Speaking of which, how long will you be quarantining in BKK?


With this new Omricon variant there is a new 4 day quarantine requirement. It's a bit inconvenient but better safe than sorry.





> It's that damn incessant drizzle that cheeses me off.


That's the trouble... down this way it's either mild with the constant drizzle or dry but brass money cold. When I first started working offshore the boats were small and so the work was much more weather dependent... I worked between March and October to cram enough work days in and then had the winters off when there was no work. It wasn't long until I headed SE Asia-wards to avoid the long winters. 

Who wants 4 months off in this? Today it has been driving drizzle coming in from the west... all day long. A reminder why I left the UK in the first place.



Still, it was a good day to cross another outing off the list, a trip that didn't need good weather. 

It's not everywhere that cider gets it's own road sign.



Just follow the signs...



And today the shop was open!



The Holy Grail.



All of the Thatchers Cider you see anywhere in the world comes from Myrtle Farm in Sandford, Somerset.

All of those bottles of Green Goblin sold in The Robin Hood on Sukhumvit by the Phrom Phong BTS station and all of those tins of Thatchers Gold that HeadHunter and meself get in Korat started life at Myrtle Farm. It makes you think.

I've discovered that the cider farm tours will be starting up again... so there's a family day out for the planned visit with the wife and daughter next summer.

Thatchers Cider

The shop...

I wouldn't mind getting snowed in here for 3 days!



I thought about getting the gardener a Thatchers bucket for his Christmas present but I don't think he would really appreciate it.



I'd normally get a gallon (4 litres these days) of dry/medium mix scrumpy but lately my wind has been so bad with all the boiled cabbage my mum has been feeding me on I thought it unwise. Besides, my diet continues.



What a view!



I always tend towards the 'dry' end of the scale.



Green Goblin is probably my favourite cider. Despite my calory watching I took a couple of bottles, with a mixture of others. A  nice round 8 bottles seemed like a good number.



Here is the main range chilled in a fridge. I thought about some cheese but will get that in Cheddar later in the week. I'm taking 3 check-in bags back to Bangkok next week and will do a practice pack soon... any available weight will be used up with cheese.



Pickles and chutneys... I couldn't resist a personalised Piccalilly!



And a few souvenirs. I'd normally resist the tat but couldn't seem to stop meself today.

Still, T-shirts are always useful and the daughter needs a water bottle for school. A bar mat can always come in handy as well!



A nice little haul. I'm already regretting only buying 8 bottles as I seem to have drunk 2 while typing this damn post.



At least I saved this bottle of Green Goblin the hassle of being transported to Sukhumvit!

----------


## David48atTD

> I can handle dry heat, it is the humidity that kills me. I am fine in Vegas


It's not often I agree 100% with snubbie, but, in regard to this ...  :tumbs:

----------


## Joe 90

I remember travelling from a 45oC Mildura in Victoria, Oz back to the UK in winter and the UK was -14oC at the time.

59oC temperature difference, was a weird old shock to the system. 

Any more sightseeing plans before you return back to Thailand Mendip?

----------


## Loy Toy

> I remember travelling from a 45oC Mildura in Victoria, Oz back to the UK in winter and the UK was -14oC at the time.
> 
> 59oC temperature difference, was a weird old shock to the system. 
> 
> Any more sightseeing plans before you return back to Thailand Mendip?


Reminds me of the time I spent a day in Boulder Colorado at the weekend market and it was quite hot at 32 degrees C.

Back at the hotel in Denver, the next morning I woke up and it was snowing and minus 5 degrees. 

I froze my nuts off.

----------


## Joe 90

What's your luggage allowance when you fly back Mendip?

you might want to get some luggage scales..

----------


## Mendip

^^ I remember one time going from +30 ish in Korat to -25 ish in Trondheim for work in a day. It's amazing how quickly your body adapts. 

Unless you're Thai of course... when it's either too hot or too cold.





> Any more sightseeing plans before you return back to Thailand Mendip?


To be honest matey not really, I've had enough now. It's been a long old haul since I left home in August and I'm all sightseeinged out now. I just want to get back.

It looks like I'll probably pop over to the Thatchers shop again, and maybe nip into the local Coop, but that's about all I want to do. I can get everything done between the two.

I am so looking forward to that first evening in Thailand, sitting on my Bangkok quarantine hotel balcony with a big slug of whisky and knowing that I'm back home.

That'll be me... a week today!

Edit: I've got luggage scales... 3 check-in bags as well! 

I'm taking back a fantastic haul!

Edit again: Mint Aeros just added to my list... good shout!

----------


## Loy Toy

> It looks like I'll probably pop over to the Thatchers shop again


When you are there please check the price of their large bar mats/ runners.

I am going to order a dozen from Selina the Thatcher's lady here and it would be handy to know the local price.

Thanks mate.

----------


## Joe 90

> I am going to order a dozen from Selina the Thatcher's lady here and it would be handy to know the local price.


You customise and order your own on line, my eldest bought this one with our bar name on and city chant, was only a tenner delivered...

----------


## Joe 90

Only took a minute...howzatt?

----------


## Loy Toy

^ Cheers mate. Good to know!

----------


## Joe 90

You can even get get personalised bar towels and coasters at a similar price to new mainstream brands.

----------


## malmomike77

Show us your thatch

----------


## armstrong

> You can even get get personalised bar towels and coasters at a similar price to new mainstream brands.


Whats the website?

----------


## Joe 90

> Whats the website?


There's loads , google is your friend. :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

Ahhh yeah Mendy.  The haul of stuff back home. Every time my wife and I return from the states it's fun to unpack all the suitcases.  We do not bring back much in regards to food but nice bedding, clothes, wife's make up, my cordless yard tools and spare parts for my mower and gifts and requests for family. Of course each suitcase also has a 750ml to 1 liter bottle of Bourbon or Tequila in them. This trip was 6.   :Smile:  

Safe Travels.

----------


## Headworx

> With this new Omricon variant there is a new 4 day quarantine requirement. It's a bit inconvenient but better safe than sorry.


For sure, but one can never be too careful. Love the pics, there'll only be Dicken's cider soon so make the most of Thatcher's while you're there.

----------


## aging one

> Originally Posted by Mendip 
> With this new Omricon variant there is a new 4 day quarantine requirement. It's a bit inconvenient but better safe than sorry.


I have seen nothing of that here. Only you must do the test and wait a day in your hotel. Let me know where the source is. Thanks.

----------


## Headworx

^His source will be Dr Ramchandra of the Delhi institute of communicable diseases who for the equivalent of 135 Baht has emailed Mendip a medical statement saying 4 days of self quarantine in lower Sukhumvit is his firm recommendation before leaving Bangcock for the boondocks.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^His source will be Dr Ramchandra of the Delhi institute of communicable diseases who for the equivalent of 135 Baht has emailed Mendip a medical statement saying 4 days of self quarantine in lower Sukhumvit is his firm recommendation before leaving Bangcock for the boondocks.



it was 150 baht for a 5 day notice.

----------


## Mendip

> I have seen nothing of that here. Only you must do the test and wait a day in your hotel. Let me know where the source is. Thanks.


I doubt you will see anything about this AO as it'ss not been widely publicised.  It's more of a personalised quarantine package I designed myself to be extra safe. I must admit it's re-assuring to find it endorsed by Dr Ramchapati from Delhi.





> When you are there please check the price of their large bar mats/ runners.


I popped in today mate as I was passing anyway.



The £3 rubber bar runners are the ones on the shelf on the right, above the tea towels.



These are the £6 bar runners.



I don't know if buckets interest you at all? They are £12.50 each.




I took my mum out for a drive today and after Thatchers Cider shop we drove up Cheddar Gorge. Of course there was the obligatory stop-off to pick up some of the only genuine Cheddar cheese in the entire world.



Nice geology...



And some nice Soay sheep. These were introduced to manage the vegetation.



Another nice little haul of tat. It looks as though the wife and daughter will be getting lots of Thatchers themed presents this Christmas. I also took the opportunity to liberate a couple more bottles of Green Goblin.

----------


## malmomike77

I can see you are stocking up the accoutremants of a mancave Mendip, the makings of future thread perhaps

----------


## helge

> Thatchers


Seems that I can't send PM's, so....eventhough your fascination with fermented applejuice worries me, do have a nice trip back home, and give your mum one on the cheek for me.

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks Helge, will do.


I reckon these Somerset sun sets can rival anywhere's... just a shame about the telephone wires.

Three more sunsets to go!

----------


## Saint Willy

> just a shame about the telephone wires.


you could walk forward five paces…  :Shrug:

----------


## naptownmike

^^Nice sunset. 

It's hard to beat a mid winter sky. To bad everything else about winter sucks.

Have a safe trip home.

----------


## Mendip

^ Thanks Mike.

Today the sky is grey and heavy with cloud, and it's raining. I guess everything sucks now and it's definitely time to go!





> you could walk forward five paces…


What, and get my socks wet?


It's not all scrumpy and pasties in Somerset. Last night I had quite a cerebral conversation with my sister who popped in and need the help of a teacher.

I have noticed that 'Thatchers' as of 'Thatchers Cider' has no apostrophe. 

I keep checking and this is the case on every single bottle. Surely it should be Thatcher's?

The sister says not, as it may have been a couple of brothers who started making the cider... but in that case surely there should be an apostrophe after the 's', as in Thatchers'?

My niece went to the same school as a boy in the cider dynasty, and says that the surname is Thatcher (with no 's' at the end).

Maybe I'm getting bored?

----------


## bsnub

As you were in Cheddar, surely you while be having a contribution to the Cheese thread? 

 ::chitown::

----------


## baldrick

or the thatchers

----------


## Shutree

> I have noticed that 'Thatchers' as of 'Thatchers Cider' has no apostrophe.


It is a brand name, so they can choose to have it or not. In these days of the Internet the apostrophe is fast disappearing.

One example is Smith's crisps. The company name still uses the apostrophe, most packaging but not all is Smiths.

Your grammar is fine, these names are not full sentences so they don't need to bother.

----------


## Shutree

Great pics, btw. Next time I'm in Somerset, maybe next year, a trip to the Thatchers shop could be on the cards.

(I am deliberately avoiding the apostrophe. If the name is Thatcher's then their shop would be the Thatcher's's shop? No, surely too messy.

----------


## malmomike77

It will be as many old English names were, derived from the trade the family was involved in, Thatching in this case so they were Thatchers, Somerset levels being a place where reeds for Thatching grow so a common trade in those parts.

----------


## cyrille

> Soay sheep


Is that the breed, or some 'pigeon' Thai that will get on willy's tits  :Very Happy:

----------


## Mendip

^ From Wikipedia...


The *Soay sheep* is a breed of domestic sheep (_Ovis aries_) descended from a population of feral sheep on the 100-hectare (250-acre) island of Soay in the St Kilda Archipelago, about 65 kilometres (40 mi) from the Western Isles of Scotland. It is one of the Northern European short-tailed sheep breeds...

... Soay sheep were introduced from St. Kilda to Lundy, an island in the Bristol Channel, by Martin Coles Harman soon after he purchased the island in 1925. There is also a small population living wild in and around the Cheddar Gorge in Somerset. 

Soay sheep - Wikipedia





> Great pics, btw. Next time I'm in Somerset, maybe  next year, a trip to the Thatchers shop could be on the cards.
> 
> (I am deliberately avoiding the apostrophe. If the name is Thatcher's  then their shop would be the Thatcher's's shop? No, surely too  messy.



Thatchers it is then!

Many years ago one of my sisters lived in Glasgow and one evening she was surprised to find draught Thatchers scrumpy on sale at her local pub - it often had guest ales/ciders and I once saw the wonderful Butcombe Bitter for sale there as well (from another Somerset village). Anyway, the cider had to be marketed as 'Sandfords' in her local pub as not a single Scot would touch anything with the word 'Thatchers' in the name.





> As you were in Cheddar, surely you while be having a contribution to the Cheese thread?


Yes, but it will have to wait. I picked up a few genuine pieces of Cheddar but won't open it until I get home. I've really screwed up to be honest... usually I take several kilos of cheese back to Thailand but due to all the online shopping I did over the past 3 months while at work (and shopping I'd forgotten about that I did a year ago while I was stuck in Gothenburg) I have no space left. I've got 3 check-in bags all crammed full.

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I picked up a few genuine pieces of Cheddar


Genuine pieces of Cheddar  :smiley laughing:  Why isn't  it available in any UK supermarkets if its any fukkin good? it's still the same fukkin recipe and I bet it tastes no better than that Aussie Coon stuff.
Genuine fukkin cheddar

And your  mass produced full of chemical Thatchers cider pish you keep raving on about .. Only raging  alcoholics drink that fukkin heartburn inducing gut rot outside of BST

And what's these Vale of Mowbray pork pies from fukkin Yorkshire bollocks? Pork pies are from Melton Mowbray which is in fukking Leicestershire, you daft apeth 

And this Bitter Buttcome, sounds like something you'll be  tissueing off soon in Bangkok. :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

ole grumpy cvnt, aint you Dilly?

----------


## Reg Dingle

> It will be as many old English names were, derived from the trade the family was involved in


That'll explain the guy above.... Mr.Willy  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Cheddar is called Cheddar because it was invented in Cheddar... you're saying you can have Cheddar from the other side of the world but you can't call a pork pie a pork pie cos it comes from the wrong ghetto up north?

What's the difference between Yorkshire and Leicestershire anyway? They all speak funny... a different colour flat cap?

----------


## malmomike77

> Why isn't it available in any UK supermarkets if its any fukkin good? it's still the same fukkin recipe and I bet it tastes no better than that Aussie Coon stuff. Genuine fukkin cheddar


Look Dill, its available but just not to you mouth breathers in plastic wrap ooop norf of the M4. It was never given special status and protected which is why Americans can produce replica plastic shite and apply the name Cheddar much the same way Utd can prefix their footie team Manchester - hope that clears it up in monkeyville.

----------


## Mendip

I had my last job today in preparation for my return to Thailand... the PCR test. I went for a four hour turnaround option at Bristol Airport to save driving right into Bristol. The slightly cheaper 48 hour (ish) turnaround option was less definite and wouldn't have given a lot of contingency time if the worst happened. I should get my results by email by tea time today and then I can relax... I'll be going home. So long as it's negative, of course.

The 4 hour turnaround rapid RT-PCR test at Bristol Airport cost 120 quid, ker-ching!

I've also had to do a 2 day and 8 day home antigen test after arriving in the UK two weeks ago... that test kit had to be ordered prior to arrival and cost 60 quid... ker-ching! Some people are making a lot of money out of Covid in the UK. Both tests were negative by the way... so I'm optimistic of a negative result today.

I left a bit late for my test appointment and got stuck behind this b@stard along the narrow lane. We get two buses a day along this route so I was very unlucky. It was empty as well.



The bloody bus driver crawled along but eventually reached this junction where he turned his b@stard empty Number 51 right, and I was going left. Good riddance... but that's not the way to Birmingham!



It wasn't my day... one thing after another. I think a pack of b@stard cyclists would have finished me off. They never go in single file round here and should be shot on sight.



But despite all these obstacles I made the appointment on time. Bristol Airport wasn't finished with my wallet of course... they fleeced me for the use of a parking space for the 20 minutes I was there.



I noticed this sign which really takes the biscuit. Bristol Airport have long charged 2 quid for a trolley which I think is outrageous... and now this. It is truly my least favourite airport anywhere and I wouldn't be surprised if next time I visit they'll be charging to breathe the air. Rip off Bristol.



On the way home I stopped to take a couple of pics of the Yeo Valley. The River Yeo flows through this valley after leaving Blagdon Lake. That is Crook Peak in the extreme background at the western extremity of the Mendip Hills. Soon after is the Bristol Channel.



I used to go ferreting along those hedgerows many years ago. Sometime around the mid 80s a wave of myxomatosis swept threw this area and the rabbit population has never recovered.



A nice hill. 

This hill used to be a favourite for sledging down on the rare occasions we got a decent snowfall during the winter.



A few days after Christmas when I was around 12 or 13, I was doing some head-first sledging down this hill when I lost steerage and hit that b@stard telegraph pole squarely with my head. I knocked myself out and apparently I was unconscious for a fair few minutes. Why put a telegraph pole in the middle of a field?



I was badly concussed but the village was iced up and my parents couldn't get me to hospital. I lost all memory of that Christmas and it never came back, but I guess I was lucky... it could have been a lot worse. You need a bit of luck growing up, that's for sure.

I wasn't sure what to do this afternoon while waiting for my PCR test results... so I picked up a few bottles of cider to help pass the time. Seemed like the sensible thing to do!

----------


## malmomike77

Some 20 years back i used to commute on a route that took me up through Cirencester cross country. Lovely countryside but if you timed the run slightly wrong you came a cropper with a farmer who would move his milkers from the fields to the farm to be milked. The process of getting the cows from field to parlour was a 20 minute ordeal, sat there whilst he wrangled the last stragglers who always found a tasty patch of hedge to nibble on and refused to budge. On a bad day you got caught both ways. I swear he'd mix times up just to catch you out.

----------


## Mendip

^ We used to have lanes round here regularly blocked by cows going to and from milking in the mornings but I haven't seen that for years. I don't know if that's due to changing farming practices or the area now swamped with intolerant townies. A shame either way.


My wife seems to think I have negative tendencies but sometimes it's a good thing. I've just had my fourth negative Covid test result in two weeks so I'm outta here!

What a day... Bristol City beat Derby County 1-0 and now my return home is confirmed. I've been doing this working away shit for as long as I can remember but it's still a great feeling to be heading back. This time next week I'll be sitting with me dogs by the pond!

Now it's definite I can start acclimatising meself for the heat of Korat and the carefree, expat lifestyle so I started the process with a new cider. Tomorrow I think I'll go back to some proper stuff.

----------


## Saint Willy

> course.
> 
> The 4 hour turnaround rapid RT-PCR test at Bristol Airport cost 120 quid, ker-ching!
> 
> I've also had to do a 2 day and 8 day home antigen test after arriving in the UK two weeks ago... that test kit had to be ordered prior to arrival and cost 60 quid


The home test kits are approx £1.50 here!

----------


## Mendip

The cost of these things in the UK is criminal.

To be fair this wasn't just the standard home testing kit...I had to order it online to be posted to my mum's house before I could complete the 'Passenger Locator Form', mandatory for me to enter the UK from Turkey. The two kits arrived with two pre-addressed Jiffy envelopes to send the swabs off to a lab somewhere... but 60 quid!

No wonder people are getting pissed off with this stuff in the UK.

----------


## Saint Willy

Anyway, good luck on the trip home mate.looking forward to the pond pics

----------


## malmomike77

> No wonder people are getting pissed off with this stuff in the UK.


To re-enter the UK now i have to do a PCR test before leaving Thailand and another upon arrival. I reckon when i add the costs of COVID up inc re-booking my flight for the cancelled trip a couple of years ago, tests and quarantine its doubled the original cost of travel.

----------


## ootai

> I used to go ferreting along those hedgerows many years ago. Sometime around the mid 80s a wave of myxomatosis swept threw this area and the rabbit population has never recovered
> 
> 
> 
> A few days after Christmas when I was around 12 or 13, I was doing some head-first sledging down this hill when I lost steerage and hit that b@stard telegraph pole squarely with my head. I knocked myself out and apparently I was unconscious for a fair few minutes. Why put a telegraph pole in the middle of a field?
> 
> I was badly concussed but the village was iced up and my parents couldn't get me to hospital. I lost all memory of that Christmas and it never came back, but I guess I was lucky... it could have been a lot worse. You need a bit of luck growing up, that's for sure.



I think that was the aim of myxomatosis i.e. to wipe out the rabbits, at least it was in Australia. Slowed them down but didn't wipe them out. Calicivirus did a bit better job though but they haven't totally gone.

As for you headbutting the pole at least we now know the reason for your disability.

Have a good and safe trip home, hopefully I will be allowed to visit you, the dogs and the pond but no way am i getting into the water unless it is substantially cleaner than last time I was there.

----------


## katie23

@mendip - don't worry, you're not alone (in the UK) re: high prices of RT-PCR tests. I've read that in Canada, it costs 150 to 200 cad and in Japan, around 200 to 300 usd. The ones in Japan are usually written in Japanese script, so it's another trouble & cost to get it translated. It's now the problem of returning Filipinos from Japan. PH now has required the test prior to the flight (just recently, due to the Omicron variant). Prior to that, passengers had a choice. If with test result, shorter quarantine (3N), if no test result 5N. Some travelers preferred the latter because of the cost of the test in their countries.

Agree that the cost of international travel is significantly higher due to the multiple required tests. Sigh.

----------


## Mendip

^ Katie, when I departed the boat in Turkey a couple of weeks ago there were a handful of us (not fully vaccinated) that had to get PCR tests before flying the next day and this included a couple of Filipinos. Many of the Filipinos on the boat have been getting their vaccinations in Norway the same as I did as it's becoming so difficult to travel when you're not fully vaccinated, whatever that may mean going forward.

As an aside, many offshore jobs on the freelance market are now specifying 'fully vaccinated' only. There was one Dutch anti-vaxxer on the boat I worked on... he is staff and a Norwegian company won't specify workers have to be vaccinated due to 'human rights' etc etc, but they can certainly specify what they like for freelancers. Unvaccinated offshore workers are a real pain for companies to mobilise due to the travel and testing requirements and I think it's only a matter of time until even staff have to be vaccinated. Hopefully the clients (oil companies) will soon specify 'vaccinated only' at the worksites and it will just become impossible to use the unvaccinated, without some pretty good reason. I was lucky since I go back a long way with the company I've just been working for, but I appreciated how awkward it was for them to accommodate me not having my fully vaccinated status.






> Have a good and safe trip home, hopefully I will be allowed to visit you, the dogs and the pond but no way am i getting into the water unless it is substantially cleaner than last time I was there.


Thanks Ootai and if you want to visit despite my 'disability' you're always welcome of course.

Maybe bring along your Speedos in case you change your mind?

----------


## OhOh

> The two kits arrived with two pre-addressed Jiffy  envelopes to send the swabs off to a lab somewhere... but *60  quid*!


*
Where to buy 40 baht COVID test kits in Bangkok*

Oct 4, 2021 | 

"_COVID home test kits will soon be sold for a fraction of the price  through government pharmacies, but Bangkok has to wait a couple weeks  for them to show up.
_
_Two million SARS-CoV-2 Antigen Rapid Test Kit (ATK) will be sold  starting Oct. 18 by the Government Pharmaceutical Organization at a  price below market: THB40 (US$1.20). While the tests arent as reliable  as traditional PCR tests, they are still relatively accurate  and very  fast.
_
_The home test kits will be sold at eight organization pharmacies around metro Bangkok:_


_GPO Pharmacy, Ratchathewi branch (opposite to the Ramathibodi Hospital) phone 02-203-8847 or 02-203-8849"_ 
_
Where to buy 40 baht COVID test kits in Bangkok - Coconuts
_

----------


## Shutree

> Now it's definite I can start acclimatising meself for the heat of Korat


Not sure how it is in Korat but up here where I am it is cold. A relative term, I know, we aren't going to compete with Somersetshire in the bleak mid-winter. This morning was about 12 °C and I had a fleece on until 1000 a.m.

That said, this is fine weather, cool air and warm sunshine. Hurry back.

----------


## Jack meoff

Welcome home Mendip. :cmn:

----------


## Joe 90

> Welcome home Mendip.


Seasons greeting Jacko, good to see you back!

----------


## Edmond

> Welcome home Mendip.


Finally, a proper man is on here. 

You wouldn't believe how many pussies are on TD nowadays.  :Smile:

----------


## Mendip

^^^ Nice to see you back, Jack!





> Finally, a proper man is on here. 
> 
> You wouldn't believe how many pussies are on TD nowadays.


I hope you're not including me in that?


I spent my last day in the UK doing jobs in my mum's garden.

This nice plump wood pigeon spends it's time waiting for the other birds to drop bits from the bird feeders. It looks a bit better than the manky Thai pigeons that live in our garden in Korat.



After my penultimate UK lunch of roast lamb...



... I had rice pudding for pudding. I got my mum to show me how to make it so I don't waste the bag of 'pudding rice' I'm taking back to Korat!



Tomorrow morning I'll see if there are any nice chillis in the Coop!

For my last evening in the UK I dropped my mum off at the local church for some kind of a Christmas carol service, and then picked her up an hour later. This was a bit of a pisser because it meant I couldn't drink any cider with my tea, but you have to do these things.



Is that manly enough for you Edmond?  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

Those sprouts are well manly! :Smile: 

Mint jelly as well, respect!


What happened to your smaller portions? ::spin:: 

Thai stir-fried brussels sprouts-put some lead in your pencil

----------


## naptownmike

^^ That roast dinner looks great. Classic British like my grandmother used to have. I recall the mint sauce being copped mint in some kind of vinegar of but that was a long time ago so who knows.

I'm hoping for something similar at my parents tonight as I've been going for dinner more since my wife left for Thailand

----------


## Mendip

^ This was mint jelly but I think mint sauce is chopped mint in vinegar, as far as I remember. Try mint sauce Mike, it's way better.


^^ Chitty, that's a very small plate... and it's nearly all vegetables.

But anyway, I decided that since I've just had 3 months of pretty average food on the boat and an upcoming few months in Isaan, that I'd just enjoy this rare two week bounty of traditional English home-cooked food. 

The strange thing is that despite my diet of pies and cider I don't think I've put any weight back on. Cereal/fruit for breakfast, a great lunch and a snacky ploughman's kind of thing for tea. I think it's the eating at lunchtime that's made all the difference and I hope to continue that back home... but it won't be easy. 

I'll get some more sprouts down me tomorrow with my steak and kidney pie lunch... thanks for that tip!

----------


## malmomike77

Mendip, i switched to my main meal at lunchtime a few years back and i'd not go back now. I had my first non-thai food in a  week or so yestetday when i caved and had a portion of french fries. Waking to a ring of fire every day is taking its toll, i suppose its like women and child birth, you soon forget the pain and before you know it you are slurping down your next mornings punishment. I would love that roast at any hour.

----------


## armstrong

Convinced to have a Thatchers yesterday.

----------


## OhOh

> from the bird feeders


More bird feeders required in Korat.




> I had rice pudding for pudding. I got my mum to show me how to make


What's her secret?

A lunch to die for.

Safe journey home.

----------


## Headworx

> I spent my last day in the UK doing jobs in my mum's garden.


How's Jo Beth doing?

Safe trip home Bud, hopefully you'll post pics of local birds on your balcony while in quarantine this time too.

----------


## hallelujah

What a wonderful thread (again), Mendip. Thank you so much for all the photos, have a safe trip back to Korat and here's to the coming pictures of you in the garden with the dogs and your little 'un.

----------


## David48atTD

> What a wonderful thread (again), Mendip. Thank you so much for all the photos, have a safe trip back to Korat and here's to the coming pictures of you in the garden with the dogs and your little 'un.



^ This!

... have a safe trip back to Korat

_May the road rise up to meet you. 
May the wind be always at your back. 
May the sun shine warm upon your face.

... and the rest of it 
_

----------


## nidhogg

That sunday roast could have been served up by my mum in her heyday.  

Except she would not have any truck with that red cabbage, and we were a mint sauce  family (fresh chopped mint in vinegar).

----------


## Mendip

^^^, ^^, ^

Thanks for the good wishes guys. When I get back home I'm hoping not to revert back to my old ways so can't promise pics in the garden with the dogs and little'un... but let's see what happens.

Nid, I always used to be a mint sauce person but switched to mint jelly a few years ago. I've always liked to push the boundaries with my food.






> Convinced to have a Thatchers yesterday.


My work is done!

That Rose is a little sweet for my palate but of course remember the old adage 'any cider is a good cider'.

That bottle of Rose started life at Myrtle Farm in Sandford, Somerset... just behind the cider shop I visited. Makes you think.

By the way, how are you feeling today? They say it takes 30 pressed apples to make one pint of cider... can your stomach cope with all that fruit?!!  :Smile: 





> What's her secret?


From what I gather you stick some 'pudding rice' in a baking dish, add some milk, butter and sugar and stick it in the oven for a couple of hours... simple as that. I can't believe I've never tried it before but hopefully my bag of special rice will motivate me.





> Safe trip home Bud, hopefully you'll post pics of local birds on your balcony while in quarantine this time too.


I'm not immune to these innuendos, ya know! As it happens I do have a balcony again this time but it's right in town so I doubt there will be any birds to see.

 :Smile: 


I hate the day of flying... I just want to get moving but have to wait around until the afternoon. One good thing of course is that I get a homemade steak and kidney pie for lunch before I leave.

I'm all packed up but seem to have gone a bit over the top with my online shopping. I'm returning to Thailand with three times the luggage I left with.



And I've prepared my 'travel pack'.

The two pound coins are for the bandits at Bristol Airport because even with three check-ins, they'll still charge for the trolley and I just can't manage this lot without. It costs either £2 or €2 and I usually keep two Euro coins handy, just to make the point. But I don't have any today. I'm keeping my phone fully charged... no way will a pay a quid to charge it at Bristol Airport. Can you believe that?

And I'm flying with KLM... hence no explanation needed for the food.

----------


## Samuel

Have a good journey, Mendip. 

Your threads are always interesting and fun to read. 

Shouldn't be any competition this time for TD Poster of the year. 


 :tumbs:

----------


## nidhogg

Safe travels Mendip.

----------


## somtamslap

Somerset, what a lovely county. Seems a shame to leave it for the corrugated rust bucket of Korat, but I'm not judging, I lived there for a long time, and obviously the surrounding countryside is sublime. But little chocolate box settlements don't exist in Thailand. And neither do any seasons worth their salt. Still, we all forge our own furrows and plant them as we see fit.

----------


## bsnub

> Thanks for the good wishes guys. When I get back home I'm hoping not to revert back to my old ways so can't promise pics in the garden with the dogs and little'un... but let's see what happens.


The let's see what happens comment is the key to chime in on.  :Smile:  

Love ya Mendy and safe travels. 




> Somerset, what a lovely county. Seems a shame to leave it for the corrugated rust bucket of Korat


I ask myself this every time I see someone post pics of the UK and blather on about how terrible it is. It is far more beautiful than Thailand.

----------


## hallelujah

> The let's see what happens comment is the key to chime in on.  
> 
> Love ya Mendy and safe travels. 
> 
> 
> 
> I ask myself this every time I see someone post pics of the UK and blather on about how terrible it is. It is far more beautiful than Thailand.


It's the weather, snubs. That's why people fuck off. 

Beautiful, yes, but that fucking rain and wind...

----------


## bsnub

> Beautiful, yes, but that fucking rain and wind...


I have that here in Seattle and I love it. I enjoy the storms that roll in off the pacific and being toasty warm in me abode. When I have to go out to the shops I get a taste of the wind and rain, then I am happy to get out of my wet clothes and get comfy at home. Giving that up would be a big loss in my book.

----------


## Samuel

> I ask myself this every time I see someone post pics of the UK and blather on about how terrible it is. *It is far more beautiful than Thailand.*


Well, BSnub:  99% of TD posters have actual experience visiting/living in Thailand and their home countries and therefore can make the comparison. 

After 12 years of posting every day on a Thailand expat forum, isn't it time for you to finally visit Thailand, like you've mentioned many times you have planned to?

You can do it, BSnub. 



 :tumbs:

----------


## Headworx

> I ask myself this every time I see someone post pics of the UK and blather on about how terrible it is. It is far more beautiful than Thailand.

----------


## bsnub

> Well, BSnub: 99% of TD posters have actual experience visiting/living in Thailand and their home countries and therefore can make the comparison.


It did not take long for the obsessive stalking multi-nick troll to come along, did it?

@headworx

I get that part of it. But why not just take her home like most on this forum do?  Jack off, Buriumboy, Chitty, Dilly and god knows how many others did. 

But then again you are an Aussie so could never understand life in the Northern Hemisphere. The first time you stepped on one of the fishing boats off the Washington coast and Alaska that I grew up on, you would tap out.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Giving that up would be a big loss in my book.


I completely understand your thought on that Snubs.  I used to think leaving the SF Bay Area weather would be hard to replace but now here in northern Thailand I enjoy it actually far more.  We never have storms here that lock in and hold a cold dreary pattern weeks on end.  That weather always became terribly depressing. I have never missed it.  That said though, I much prefer sun and heat and warm tropical rains that blow in, wet the place and head out.

----------


## Samuel

> Originally Posted by Samuel
> 
> 
> After 12 years of posting every day on a Thailand expat forum, isn't it time for you to finally visit Thailand, like you've mentioned many times you have planned to?
> 
> You can do it, BSnub.
> 
> 
> It did not take long for



BSnub*:* Even you have to admit it's weird how much time you spend on a Thailand ex-pat forum, having never managed to visit the country. 

Just curious why you're not interested enough — after all these years participating on this forum — to spend a week or weekend here. 

Why?

----------


## Stumpy

Welcome Back Mendy.

Weather today here in Lampang was 12c in am and 25c afternoon.  Humidity was < 40%.  Bright blue skies.  Quick bike ride into town I found the locals wearing layered clothes, jackets, beanies, ear muffs, gloves like a blizzard was coming.  

I enjoyed a T shirt/ Shorts day  working around the compound

----------


## taxexile

bsnub




> I enjoy the storms that roll in off the pacific and being toasty warm in me abode. When I have to go out to the shops I get a taste of the wind and rain, then I am happy to get out of my wet clothes and get comfy at home. Giving that up would be a big loss in my book.


spot on.   seasons, unpredictable weather, howling gales, winter snow and of course a cosy home are must haves.  



plenty of ugly fatties in thailand these days too.

----------


## malmomike77

Right post muppet interlude, Mendip safe travels and i'm sure the gardener will enjoy the xmas themed undercrackers.

----------


## Headworx

> But why not just take her home like most on this forum do? Jack off, Buriumboy, Chitty, Dilly and god knows how many others did.


Have taken my girl all over the place in Asia multiple times (Sing, HK, Macau, MLS, and so on) and to Australia more times than I can remember for what's always 4 to 5 week stays. She likes it there and settles in quickly but what's not to like when you're living in a million+ dollar beachfront condo in Australia's premier tourist town, shopping and eating out every day, hitting the Casino every few days, and generally being in holiday mode with no budget for a month. By the end of that time both of us are ready to go home though. To _live_ there full-time and not be in holiday mode wouldn't work for either of us as we both miss what we have in Thailand when we're away, her more than me especially when it comes to her being close to her family and more-so when I jump on a plane to work and leave her alone for a few months (you may not understand how important family is to most Asian people). If we had kids we *might* need to reconsider the situation or be forced into moving to a Western country I guess, but that's not going to happen.

----------


## Samuel

> spot on. seasons, unpredictable weather, howling gales, winter snow and of course a cosy home are must haves.


really? 

you like it? 

I'm going back to the states for Christmas  Seattle  and I love seeing the family and experiencing Christmas with them. 

But, today in Thailand  the pool is too cold  below 70-75 degrees  so I enjoy using it for an "ice bath" after working out. 

In Seattle, there will be a cold drizzle all day and all night for months...

----------


## Mendip

> Welcome Back Mendy.


Hang on... I haven't left yet mate!


As for the discussion above... I have thought a lot about this and more so each time I return to the UK for a short visit.

Firstly, I work away from home a lot and the vast majority of offshore workers live where their spouse hails from, for a reason. I think it would be asking a lot to move the family to the UK and then disappear for 5 months a year, even if the wife would agree to the move in the first place. To be honest this would also apply to a move within Thailand. I fancy living by the coast, but the wife would soon tire of living in Rayong away from her friends and family when I disappear to work for six weeks... she would question why on earth she was stuck somewhere away from her friends, and I get that. Friends aren't so important to me... my close friends are scattered across the planet and no matter where I live I would rarely (if ever) see them. And family will always be more important to an Asian I think... certainly I for one do not come from a close family.

Also though, having just spent over two weeks in Somerset I am very ready to depart. This is not my home any more and I feel a lot more at ease and familiar in Thailand The cold, wet and unpredictable weather may suit some but I now find it miserable. That hasn't always been the case but these days I find it pretty miserable and get no pleasure from shivering with blustery wind and rain every time I take the dog for a walk. Climate has become very important to me and you can keep your seasons... I just want to get up, drag on my boxers and be done dressing for the day.

A trip a year to the UK is quite enough for me and along with time spent working in Scandinavia I get my seasons and Western fix. Korat isn't ideal but it's my home for now and I am very much looking forward to getting back. I feel a stranger in the UK now, however I will probably revisit this once my daughter has grown up and flown the nest... that may change my thinking drastically.


But for now... my final lunch done, I'm looking forward to my taxi coming and going 'home' to Korat. I just pity whoever sits next to me on the flight! 

Phaaaarp....



(and yes HW... I'm also very much looking forward to the short quarantine in Bangkok)

----------


## Stumpy

> I'm going back to the states for Christmas — Seattle —


Wow.  Going to hook up with Snubs?   :smiley laughing:

----------


## Samuel

> Wow. Going to hook up with Snubs


Yes, he will meet me at the airport when I arrive in Seattle in a couple weeks and insult me.

not: just send silly little reds — every week, every year —while never visiting Thailand.

----------


## malmomike77

> I think it would be asking a lot to move the family to the UK and then disappear for 5 months a year, even if the wife would agree to the move in the first place.


It is more a case of moving for the childs benefit for education it appears. There is no way if you have an education in Thailand it will stand you in stead for anything but local shite work, their education system even at international standard is just not up to it and i'd not educate a child there (apologies). That wrench from the Asian base and family seems to be the trigger for all the divisions coming home to roost in the farang / thai relationship, so the move is always gong to be for the childs benefit.

----------


## Joe 90

^Indeed.

Getting your sprout fix in hey, you'll be going home with a loaded shotgun in your pants.

Btw I'd give that Ginsters pasty a swerve, pure indigestion. 

Safe travels Mendip!

----------


## Headworx

> Firstly, I work away from home a lot and the vast majority of offshore workers live where their spouse hails from, for a reason. I think it would be asking a lot to move the family to the UK and then disappear for 5 months a year, even if the wife would agree to the move in the first place. To be honest this would also apply to a move within Thailand. I fancy living by the coast, but the wife would soon tire of living in Rayong away from her friends and family when I disappear to work for six weeks... she would question why on earth she was stuck somewhere away from her friends, and I get that. Friends aren't so important to me... my close friends are scattered across the planet and no matter where I live I would rarely (if ever) see them. And family will always be more important to an Asian I think... certainly I for one do not come from a close family.


It would be an interesting forum topic discussing the pros and cons of this, your situation mentioned above all makes absolutely perfect sense to me. My girl has a family member living in the same building we do, and a close-knit circle of friends locally. But she can and does fly North out of Utapao for like 40 bucks and an hour airtime to see her family anytime she wants, sometimes even just for the weekend. That wouldn't be happening out of Gatwick or Brisbane! I have no parents and only 2 direct relatives that aren't close so moving overseas to be near family isn't going to happen, and I can't think of any other reasons to move that wouldn't end up with us looking at one another after a few months and asking ourselves what the fuck we were thinking! 

Anyways, back on topic now and the real question is just how many spoons and blankets can you kamoy on the flight back?  :Smile:

----------


## Edmond

> That bottle of Rose started life at Myrtle Farm in Sandford, Somerset... just behind the cider shop I visited. Makes you think.


Actually, the hydrogen in the apples started life with the creation of time and space and the big bang, 13.8 billion years ago, almost half of the calcium in the universe originates from supernova explosions, so that's a 50/50, Sulfur is created deep inside massive stars by the fusion of silicon and helium, so all in all, it started a bit beyond Somerset. Maybe makes you think. 

Safe trip.  :Yup:  Don't forget me cuty free Montclair.  :Smile:

----------


## Topper

> Actually, the hydrogen in the apples started life with the creation of time and space and the big bang


I hope for the safety of the passengers and crew Mendy doesn't recreate the big bang after eating all of those sprouts.

----------


## Edmond

^Is he the type to take off his socks when flying?


Silly question... shure homie likes to show off his phalanges more than Looper does his phallus.  :Smile: 


#pray for the crew and passengers.

----------


## Looper

> I just pity whoever sits next to me on the flight!
> 
> Phaaaarp....


Hope you have purchased carbon offset credits to compensate for the mile high sprouts powered methane extravaganza that you are about to unleash Mendip

Nasty  :Razz: 




> show off his phalanges more than Looper does his phallus


Honest wardrobe malfunction m'lud

 :ssssh:

----------


## somtamslap

> Also though, having just spent over two weeks in Somerset I am very ready to depart. This is not my home any more and I feel a lot more at ease and familiar in Thailand


 Yes, I can empathise with this. After 12 years of living in Thailand I became fully acclimatised (read, developed a very robust drinking habit and the ability to eat a seven chilli papaya salad without flinching) and it took me four long and desperate years before the effects of reverse culture shock started to mitigate. I mean it was fucking woeful - one day I'm on a farm in far-flung Southeast Asia getting twatted on turpentine with Sombat and his hombres, the next I'm on the 7.16 to Clapham Junction amid a roiling tide of besuited wankers going through motions. 

But life isn't as black and white as I once thought it to be - the grey areas, the gaps, the filler, is what makes it all work. Or at least makes for a higher level of contentment. 

As far as your situation goes, Mendip - if it ain't broke and all that.

----------


## Loy Toy

Having lived for 15 years in Bangkok and now 17 years in Pattaya I have not experienced Thai Village life as you guys obviously have. I have obviously missed out on the primal experience which does not faze me as honestly I don't think it would suit me.

I also know farangs who love village life and avoid the big smoke.

----------


## cyrille

> But why not just take her home like most on this forum do? Jack off, Buriumboy, Chitty, Dilly and god knows how many others did.


With mixed results. 

Watch BBC News for ten minutes.

I just did - a review of the papers followed by the weather forecast. 

Everything should be clear.

----------


## Stumpy

I have lived in 2 settings, BKK and what I will call suburbia.  I doubt I could handle hard-core village life some do nor full time in BKK.  Between BKK and the little town my wife and live now, I will take the "town" life.  It is quiet and peaceful and has all the things I want or need nearby.  Quiet mountain roads to ride my motorcycle and bicycle, a nice river where I can pretend I am fishing and a very nice airport where I can walk in and grab a flight if I want to blaze somewhere.  We never suffer water shortages and power outage events.  Roads are nice and very nice medical facilities close by.

I think Mendy lives in a suburbia type location being he lives in Korat.

----------


## bsnub

Lots of wonderful replies here to the question I had. Mendy sorry if I derailed your thread, I imagine you are on your trip home. Safe travels.




> a nice river where I can pretend I am fishing


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Joe 90

> I imagine you are on your trip home.


Imagine bring sat next to him on that long haul flight right now with the ratatat sprout farts and that lovely festive aroma :Smile: 

It's beginning to feel a lot like last Christmas...
 :pullsleigh:  :Eek2:

----------


## bsnub

> It's beginning to feel a lot like last Christmas...


Shouldn't you be starting your annual Xmas holiday thread?  :Smile:

----------


## Joe 90

> Shouldn't you be starting your annual Xmas holiday thread?


Maybe an Xmas tree thread :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> I think Mendy lives in a suburbia type location being he lives in Korat.


Stumpy I have been to Mendip's house and while he is in "suburbia" he has created a little bit of the "country in his yard with the pond and its surrounds.
I can vouch that when sitting near the pond you could easily imagine you weren't surrounded by "suburbia".

However having said that he was a little envious when he visited my place in the "rural village' as he seen my chickens running around free ranging and my dogs with lots of space to run about.
They don't chase the chickens by the way.

Me, I like the freedom of being in the rural village where there is almost no traffic to worry about and you can do almost whatever you want without being harassed.

----------


## happynz

> Me, I like the freedom of being in the rural village where there is almost no traffic to worry about and you can do almost whatever you want without being harassed.


Curious...what would you be doing that would cause someone to harass you? Is it loud music, an ironworks hobby, barbershop quartet?

 :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> Lots of wonderful replies here to the question I had


On my "Pretend fishing" comment while funny as hell however being completely frank, having lived in the Pacific Northwest (As you do) for virtually almost all my life, being able to fish such fertile rivers from California to Washington State full of Salmon, Steelhead, German browns, Cut throat trout fishing here is only pretending. The rivers here have nothing but bottom feeding garbage fish and the few I have caught and brought home, my wife said "Don't" those are terrible eating.  :smiley laughing:

----------


## cyrille

^^Well, he does seem quite a touchy chap.  :Very Happy:

----------


## Stumpy

> Me, I like the freedom of being in the rural village where there is almost no traffic to worry about and you can do almost whatever you want without being harassed


Yeah I love my little mooban area as there is zero traffic, no noise and like Mendy, I made my little compound like a resort so you can relax and not know about the surrounding area.  Its always interesting how one interprets a village here.

----------


## ootai

> Curious...what would you be doing that would cause someone to harass you? Is it loud music, an ironworks hobby, barbershop quartet?





> ^^Well, he does seem quite a touchy chap.



happynz maybe I should learn to be more specific when posting crap on here as once again the reader i.e. you have not grasped what I was referring to.
What I meant is not being harassed by Govt. people with all their rules and regulations.

cyrille you'd have to be one of the most gormless people that post on here and if I appear to be touchy its because unlike others on here who seem to think the best way to deal with your inane posts is to ignore you, I refuse to do that and will continue to tell you what a twat you are.

----------


## malmomike77

In other news i can't fathom why Mendip doesn't use waders for the pond work, and a spare set for Ootai.

----------


## Stumpy

> doesn't use waders f


Actually from some of the pics, it appears the water level would  exceed a chest wader limit.  Filling up waders (which I have done a few times duck hunting) is a very tough situation trying to shed them while full.  

The only thing I would do is put on a tight pair of crackers to keep parasites from swimming up my junk.   :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

I agree when Mendip was  fannying around initially until the lightbulb moment of pumping out.  :Smile:  he still spent days waist deep trying his level best to get leishmaniasis

----------


## ootai

> I agree when Mendip was  fannying around initially until the lightbulb moment of pumping out.  he still spent days waist deep trying his level best to get leishmaniasis


MM77 I don't remember if mendip actually said so in the thread but he didn't want to pump out the pond for 2 reasons first he would need to somehow refill it and secondly, and I personally believe this was the main reason he was worried that the fish would die as he thought he didn't have enough storage to keep them all alive while refilling the pond.

I can honestly say that I was very surprised about how much he cared about the welfare of the fish. Me being a practical person thought, any that die will not be wasted there are plenty of Thai's around who would willing eat them but mendip was even worried about the time they were out of water while they were removed from the net and carried over to the holding tanks. I suppose he is a geologist so has a touchy feely manner about him, although cyrille seems to think I am a touchy person it is definitely not the seem touchy as mendip is.

So in the beginning he was only trying to pump out the mud and crud from the bottom of the tank which required him to try and keep the pump from getting stuck in there and then tripping out. I have since suggested to him that i can give him an old tractor tube from which he could suspend the pump and drag it around the pump from the shore using ropes. I think he will try this next time he does it.

Afters aying all that he may have been doing what he did because he likes getting into the cooler water during the heat as well as giving the opportunity to get pictures taken in his 'wicking boxers".

----------


## Saint Willy

> well as giving the opportunity to get pictures taken in his 'wicking boxers".


To the trauma of everyone else around.

----------


## bsnub

> having lived in the Pacific Northwest (As you do) for virtually almost all my life, being able to fish such fertile rivers from California to Washington State full of Salmon, Steelhead, German browns, Cut throat trout fishing here is only pretending.


I did that a lot throughout my life until recently. I have to say, the rivers are not as fertile as they were when I was a kid, and that may be a big part of why I stopped. Still have my fishing gear, of course, but for now it lies unused in the basement. My grandfather was a commercial fisherman for a living and he owned two boats, that he ran to Alaska to fish for everything from crab to salmon, so understandingly he wasn't interested in sport fishing. But my dad and uncle loved it, so spent a lot of my youth with them fishing rivers in the Cascade and Olympic mountains. Far fewer people lived here back then, and you could go all day long in some places without seeing a soul. Just nature and animals. 

Good memories.

----------


## Stumpy

> To the trauma of everyone else around.


Indeed. Some shocking moments that still hang around. That and his tore up feet.

----------


## OhOh

> They don't chase the chickens by the way.


 Why is that, do you think? 

The free roaming family dogs her are the same.




> what I will call suburbia.





> my little compound


Do you have a little kiosk at your gate with a guard, 24hrs a day? :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 




> Its always interesting how one interprets a village here.


No 7/11, a village, is my definition.

----------


## happynz

> when posting crap on here as once again the reader i.e. you have not grasped what I was referring to.
> What I meant is not being harassed by Govt. people with all their rules and regulations.


Awright. OK...all clear now.

----------


## Stumpy

> Do you have a little kiosk at your gate with a guard, 24hrs a day?


No just 3 big dogs that bolt to the gate when they hear some vehicle or person walking down the soi.  




> No 7/11, a village, is my definition


That was always sort of my thought.  The Village 7/11 is that guy pushing a cart with a little bit of everything.  :Smile:

----------


## ootai

> Why is that, do you think? 
> 
> The free roaming family dogs her are the same.


I don't really know why they don't chase the chickens but there are many possibilities.
They are (I believe) well fed unlike some of the mongrel dogs around here. At night the chickens are locked up securely and surrounded by an electric fence. Sometimes during the night a yelp is heard when one of the mongrels touches the fence.
If the dogs even look like going after the chickens they get yelled at or even wacked. The missus likes to get them to chase the chickens out of the house yard if the gate is left open and they come in but they don't harm the chickens even then.
The final reason could well be that they are too busy trying to get at my cats. I have tried getting them to not attack the cats but they (the dogs) just can't help themselves. The cats are almost wild and they really only let me come close and that is to feed them. I usually feed the cats up off the ground so the dogs can't get at them and there plenty of trees that they climb to get away. However the dogs still get them sometimes. I have had as many as 9 and as few as 1, at the moment I have 5 that I feed.  So I suppose the dogs maintain the ecological balance. The cats do sometimes grab a young chicken for dinner and the MIL wants to drown them all but they are also well fed which lessens the losses.

In mendip's case his chickens are always locked up and so his dogs don't mix with them. His dogs are mostly street dogs so at little wild and not necessarily under control. Even here in this thread I seem to remember him saying he would love his dogs to be well behaved but my opinion is he is a big softy and the dogs know it so do sort of what they please. Dog pack dynamics are interesting  but difficult to fathom sometimes.

----------


## OhOh

> Dog pack dynamics are interesting but difficult to fathom sometime


FIL, next door has three dogs, two from the same litter and one he brought back from his farm.
The male dog spends his days and nights inseminating all the hot bitches, if he survives the contests. He returns batter and scared many a time. The two bitches sleep in his house. The older bitch is the pack boss.

They all know they are not allowed in our house.

As Mendip will find out, they are always give the best welcome home, for those returning from foreign travels

----------


## Stumpy

We don't have chickens anymore but my neighbor has about 20 or so free rangers if you will and occasionally one rooster gets ballsy and hops the fence to be gobbled up by my very fast  and stealthy Chocolate lab.  I hear the rooster yak, my dog going nuts and then it's a full on sprint to try and save it.  I have a success rate of about 25%.  I leave it to my FIL to apologize to the neighbor and let him hand the bird back.  The neighbor usually laughs with my FIL so not a big deal apparently. I call them Suicidal Roosters. 

As Ootai, our 3 dogs are very well disciplined and behave as such.  We have a big Kennel under the house where they stay at night and like it and head there as soon as it's dark and we close the gate.  My wife leaves the fan on for them to keep skeeters away and keep them cool.

----------


## ootai

> As Ootai, our 3 dogs are very well disciplined and behave as such.  We have a big Kennel under the house where they stay at night and like it and head there as soon as it's dark and we close the gate.  My wife leaves the fan on for them to keep skeeters away and keep them cool.


Your dogs may be like mine and well behaved but yours are bloody spoiled, a kennel to sleep in AND a fan FFS.
What the point of having a dog to guard the place at night if you are gonna lock them up?

----------


## Stumpy

> What the point of having a dog to guard the place at night if you are gonna lock them up?


Well one must understand how to set up a Kennel.  Ours is at the base of the stairs up to the house.  Anybody even gets near the house they are up and barking and we hear it.  Quick browse of the cameras and we can confirm if any danger is present. Most of the time it's either a cat or the neighbors dog.  

On a side note, I would never do a fan or skeeter light for dogs but they are my wife's babies and she set it up.

----------


## Mendip

^ And they have a pool to swim in ootai... lucky dogs indeed.

I keep my dogs restricted at night because to my mind their guard job is to wake up the humans. After that we can take over to save them getting poisoned.

But anyway, there seems to have been a lot of pond, chicken and dog talk lately... there's designated threads for that stuff!  :Smile: 

My last view of Somerset while waiting for the taxi at my mum's house yesterday... less than 24 hours ago but already feeling like a distant memory.



I relented and paid 2 quid for a trolley at Bristol Airport. I could have done with two trolleys to be honest, but no way was I paying 4 quid.

And see that old Slazenger sports bag... well that was the last time I saw it.



Bristol Airport was OK, but it was a disaster at Amsterdam. I arrived late at the gate for Bangkok due to a late BRS departure and there was chaos. I joined a long queue at the gate and after maybe half an hour had a notification from the KLM App saying a different gate for BKK, the next one along. I went off to investigate and discovered that I had been in the right queue after all... which was the queue for a document and health check that covered a load of departures. So I joined the end of the same queue again, adding another 30 minutes. Nobody had a fukkin clue what was going on. 

Several people were told to sit in a 'waiting' area due to failing the temperature test... which was not surprising really seeing as everyone had outdoor winter coats on, were stressed by the delays and it was as stuffy as hell in the health check area. Our flight was delayed again at the end due to luggage being taken off because of people failing the health check.

But anyway... eventually I boarded. When checking in I could see it was a busy flight so I paid an extra £116 for Economy Extra. It wasn't so much for the extra 14cm of leg room but for the empty cabin. I had 3 seats to meself and the plane was crammed at he back. Well worth 100 quid.



The flight was fine... it's all the hoops to jump through and shit at the airports that makes travel so unbearable these days.



Flew through immigration at Swampy...until baggage collection. Two bags were right next to each other on the conveyor belt, the third no-where to be seen. There was however a similar Slazenger sports bag going round and round... so it didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. The girl at 'Lost Bags' came to the same conclusion and was confident of tracing the guy we suspected of taking my bag through his hotel registration at immigration. This put a dampener on my arrival somewhat... but what can ya do?

Have a shower and sit on your balcony with a drink, that's what you can do! My mini-bar was empty but luckily I have a bottle of Aberfeldy.



I heard nothing from the lost bags people after three hours so gave them a call. 'Oh yes, we've traced the person who did take your bag and it'll be delivered direct to your hotel'. Great news, but WTF couldn't they have called to tell me? It's always the same in Thailand, you always have to do all the chasing yourself. I just hope the guy didn't take a look inside my Slazenger bag because it has some rather embarrassing Christmas presents inside... and not just my festive boxers!!! 

But on the plus side... he did carry my extra bottle of Highland Park through customs for me! I packed that before I left.

I have a 9pm PCR test (if I can stay awake) and hopefully I'll be a free man by 2pm tomorrow!

And some nice simple Thai food... just what I fancied.

----------


## Saint Willy

> And some nice simple Thai food... just what I fancied.


Welcome back home, buddy. 

Stressful flight, but all in the rearview mirror now.

----------


## Shutree

> hopefully I'll be a free man by 2pm tomorrow!


Welcome back. Fingers crossed you dodge that 'close contact' scenario. The you can get into some serious acclimatisation work in a local hostelry.

----------


## Happy As Larry

> However having said that he was a little envious when he visited my place in the "rural village' as he seen my chickens running around free ranging and my dogs with lots of space to run about.
> They don't chase the chickens by the way.


My in-laws who live next door recently bought some chickens to breed and provide eggs. They roam all over our front dropping shit everywhere annoying my wife and one of them would not stop crowing at all ours waking my kids up almost nightly and again annoying my wife.
Eventually she made a comment to her mother and the next day we were presented with a nice chicken and veg dish for dinner which my wife and kids enjoyed and the bonus is the kids get to sleep through the night.

----------


## malmomike77

Mendip, i was in the airport lounge and was chatting to a KLM regular and he said he's cancelling his KLM flights in future because they keep losing his bags

----------


## aging one

> Mendip, i was in the airport lounge and was chatting to a KLM regular and he said he's cancelling his KLM flights in future because they keep losing his bags


His is here, delivered by the airline and he is as well. Welcome home Mendy!!

----------


## malmomike77

So i see but mentioning KLM I thought about what this regular flier had recanted. I stopped KLM long ago. Just an aside if thats OK AO

----------


## nidhogg

Welcome home mendy.

----------


## Headworx

So did you pinch any swag off the plane?

----------


## Mendip

^ KLM have been plastic cutlery for a long time. I wasn't expecting any swag opportunities and wasn't surprised. I've already got a few of their blue blankets at home as well, so I decided against another.

^^, ^^^, thanks guys and it does feel like home. The memories of Thailand are coming back fast... I'm already getting frustrated. I was told my bag was found and being delivered 3 gours ago... yet still no sign. Maybe this guy found my Christmas shopping and liked what he saw?

^^^^ish... MM, I and many others found KLM  awful with baggage back in the 90s with bags repeatedly not turning up, but then they seemed to turn it round. And I guess it wasn't KLM at fault, but Schiphol Airport. I haven't had a problem for a long time, even with tight connections. 

I hate to give compliments, but the food KLM dished up last night was slightly better than the usual inedible, microwaved slop and I have a feeling they've got a new head chef. The flight was OK and way better than the Lufthansa flight I flew out of BKK on back in August. Although I did pay for a premium seat with KLM so it's not a fair comparison.

And bags... in over 30 years of frequent frequent flying I've still never permanently lost a bag. I've had plenty go missing but they've always turned up... eventually.

Just hope I'm not tempting fate saying that...

----------


## Edmond

Welcome home bud.  :tumbs:

----------


## Edmond

Oh he's back in Thailand alright.




> delivered 3 gours ago


I dread to think what sort of sick deviance a 'gour' is.

----------


## Topper

Welcome home Mendy!

----------


## OhOh

> I'll be a free man by 2pm tomorrow!


Have you booked a car for Korat?

Or will it be too late to leave and you need a "new passport"?

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## Mendip

Well...

I got my negative Covid certificate yesterday lunchtime, I think...

I have been a free man for over 24 hours... where does the time go? I feel a bit out of it to be honest.

Anyway, a couple of pics from my short quarantine...



I love to be a part of the Bangkok skyline... but just for a short while. I couldn't live here long term.





So long s nothing else crops up I should be heading home tomorrow morning to arrive in Korat early afternoon. It's been a bugger to find a taxi.

This means another 'work thread' is drawing to a close. As much as I enjoy doing them, and they do help me stay sane (?) while away from home for long periods, I hope it's my last. I've been offered a regular 6 on/6 off starting March next year and I'd be a fool to turn it down... that's as good as it gets for a freelancer and I'm not doing a new thread every 12 weeks. There's nothing left to cover anyway and I don't want it to get too boring. 

But... all dependent on Covid of course... 

Just to address a few comments above about living arrangements. Life is a compromise. I doubt many in Thailand (or anywhere else for that matter) have the absolute dream existence you see on the telly. I work offshore... I can't take a kid back to the UK unless my wife is willing but to be honest I wouldn't want to go back anyway. Korat isn't perfect but I have my daughter, my dogs and an easy life and it kind of suits me. I get my 'Western' fix from work and I get my 'bar fly' fix from travel. It works OK and my daughter is happy and is having a great childhood. That's all that really matters to me. I can adapt.

And MM, as you say the one main draw back is education, although tbh I'm very happy with my daughter's international education at AngloSingapore. I have no qualms about it although maybe too much time spent on Chinese but that can only be good for the future. It ain't bloody cheap though with these exchange rates Snakeyes keeps giving us.





> Safe trip home Bud, hopefully you'll post pics of local birds on your balcony while in quarantine this time too.


I chose an inner city quarantine this time mate, so no bird pictures from my balcony I'm afraid. However I did spot this lovely pair of red parasols... I wouldn't mind getting something like that back to Korat for my pool area.



I just found this pic on my phone... it appears I ate Norwegian chocolate with my quarantine cup cakes while having an Aberfeldy and coffee late last night. That's another of me daughter's Christmas presents that seems to have gone for a Burton but after 3 months of work I guess I deserve it!



And I finally got my larb moo for lunch!



Home tomorrow...

----------


## David48atTD

> 


Travel Lodge, Sukhumvit Soi 11?

---

The rooftop bar on top of LeFenix is worth a look.  Not posh, but a bit of a larf.

---

Money exchange?  Turn right as Soi 11 empties onto Sukhumvit and there is a Chinese Exchanger just as the stairs rise up to NANA BTS.

Always a good price.  Need to take your Passport.

----------


## bsnub

> I just found this pic on my phone... it appears I ate Norwegian chocolate with my quarantine cup cakes while having an Aberfeldy and coffee late last night.


So you did not remember taking that pic. Seems that Aberfeldy did the trick then.  :Smile: 

Glad you are home, and please do not start in on the foot pics. 

 :Puke:

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## malmomike77

Mendip, apologies re the education its really none of my business and if that you have provided suits thats all that matters.

On the work front, thats great news and although you have not said i am sure your prolonged stint on board demonstrated your commitment to them and the fact you didnt go stir crazy and end up drowning the flippa chef in his breakfast fry up must have sealed the deal.

When alls said and done it'll be great to see the family again and get mini mendip back on some proper food.

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## Neverna

> Travel Lodge, Sukhumvit Soi 11?


Rhododendron badge sent.

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## Saint Willy

I’m not sure your wife would be happy with you bringing home one of these….

.

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## Looper

^Balcony bird spotting at its finest  :goldcup: 

I need to study those colourful markings a bit longer to make a positive identification

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## Saint Willy

I think so. Probably Mendy needs to quarantine another few days to be sure

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## Edmond

Is that the reflection of your toilet.



In a half glass window you were hiding the phone behind?





> bird spotting at its finest


Amen.  :Yup: 

Go Mendo.  :Smile:

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## OhOh

> So long s nothing else crops up


Have you checked your passport expiry date?




> I'm very happy with my daughter's international education at AngloSingapore.


And your daughter is well aware of your continuing interest in her progress. Which in my experience ensures their horizons are not limited.

Not having a child here in Thailand I can only talk about one young lady who is a family friend. She was at a highly regarded school in Trat and is now 2 years into a Medical school course.




> so no bird pictures from my balcony I'm afraid


There is one on the pool ladder.

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## Mendip

> Mendip, apologies re the education its really none of my business and if that you have provided suits thats all that matters.


No need to apologise mate, education is a huge worry in Thailand. If the international school hadn't opened in Korat a few years ago it would have meant some big changes. I'm very happy with how my daughter's progressing and the Maths the Singaporeans are teaching her is leaving me behind already. 






> Travel Lodge, Sukhumvit Soi 11?
> 
> Money exchange?  Turn right as Soi 11 empties onto Sukhumvit and there is a Chinese Exchanger just as the stairs rise up to NANA BTS.


I can't remember the last time I actually exchanged cash with a money changer... many years ago at least. Do people still use them?

The Travel Lodge is across the road a bit... in fact that parasol I spotted was by the Travel Lodge pool.





> Rhododendron badge sent.


I think you need to revoke that badge, Nev.





> Is that the reflection of your toilet.
> 
> 
> 
> Go Mendo.


Get yer mind out of the toilet... that's an upside down ash tray!


Anyway, no time for this nonsense... I'm going home!

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## Saint Willy

> Get yer mind out of the toilet... that's an upside down ash tray!



Phew! I was worried you were blatting one out while you were staring out to at that pool!

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## malmomike77

^^ now remember no Leo and HongThong chasers.....at least not until next week  :Smile:

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## Headworx

> Anyway, no time for this nonsense... I'm going home!


I for one want to see a photo of you holding up a newspaper with the date clearly showing while standing on your backyard fish pond platform surrounded by your dogs before believing you've actually left Bangkok...

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## Saint Willy

> I for one want to see a photo of you holding up a newspaper with the date clearly showing while standing on your backyard fish pond platform surrounded by your dogs before believing you've actually left Bangkok...



Just make sure no sign of his manky toes included in that pic.

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## katie23

@headworx - speaking of newspapers with date, my mom had to comply with that requirement recently (photo with newspaper showing headline & date) to be able to continue receiving my dad's pension (as the widow). For her own pension, she didn't need that requirement. I had to buy the newspaper for her - had to search the town center where to buy it. After I saw her pic, I said that she's now like one of those "kidnap for ransom" victims. We both laughed at that. Apparently, the newspaper thing is a new requirement - just this year. Probably many folks not reporting the death & instead continuing to receive pension. A 1-time death benefit (cash) is less than continuous monthly pension.

@mendip - congratulations on making it back to TH and enjoy your time with your family!

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## OhOh

What news of the gardeners improvements?

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## Shutree

> Money exchange? Turn right as Soi 11 empties onto Sukhumvit and there is a Chinese Exchanger just as the stairs rise up to NANA BTS.


Vasu Exchange. Always the best deal, especially for big notes.
I like cash, it is anonymous.

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## Shutree

> I paid an extra £116 for Economy Extra. It wasn't so much for the extra 14cm of leg room but for the empty cabin.


A very wise investment and not really that much of a premium for the extra legroom and not feeling like a sardine.

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## Mendip

Well anyway... 

I must admit as nice as Bangkok is... it was time to go home.



I've been away for just under 16 weeks... 111 days to be exact. That's long enough.

I've  missed my family, but not in a needy, cringy way. It was just time  to get home. Still, it takes all sorts and it's good to have a nice cuddle I guess.



Today was the day to wind this thread up. 

I  headed up to Korat after breakfast. Around Pak Chong there was a cluster  of street-side vendors with eskies. I had no idea what they were selling  but was reliably informed by my driver that it was cow's placentas. I  guess it's calving time at Farm Chok Chai? Nothing could have said I was returning to Isaan better. I turned down these  delicacies as much as the wife would have surely enjoyed them.

A bit later there was another gaggle of street vendors. These were selling what I believe are called moon cakes. I have no idea why they were clustered around Lam Takong but at least it gave me the opportunity to pick up something for the wife.



I don't think she was over impressed, to be honest.



And on we headed.



I finished up this work commute around 2pm, 111 days after leaving on August 21st.



Despite losing 8 kilos I returned home a lot heavier than I left!







> I for one want to see a photo of you holding up a  newspaper with the date clearly showing while standing on your backyard  fish pond platform surrounded by your dogs before believing you've  actually left Bangkok...


I've gone all digital these days HW and wouldn't know where to even buy one of these 'newspaper' things, but hopefully this will suffice to allay your suspicions?



It's wonderful to be back with the pack!





I would say that Tommy has missed me the most.



And for one moment it looked as though Yogi was going to have a go on my left leg, so got up to have a look out back for Anna.



As I suspected when I left nearly four months ago, Vigo was sick and disappeared back in October. Anna's now living on her own and I want to bring her in to join the pack. It's not gonna be easy to introduce her and I'll have to tread carefully with our three girls in particular but she deserves a chance. She is a wonderful dog.



The main obstacle to Anna's introduction will be Dan, our matriarch. 

Dan had her 15th Birthday while I was away and is still going strong.



Tommy had to borrow Dan's new Fez to cover his modesty. I don't know what's got into him. Shocking behaviour.



It's back to normal, I guess!

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## Saint Willy

That cold and boat must feel a million miles away by now. Funny our persepctives change. Probably doesnt even feel like you've been away now...

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## malmomike77

Maya swimming - check
Dan in costume - check
Coco's flight flaps ready for landing - check
Tommy watching Yogi shagging anything with a pulse - ang on what is wrong here

great to see Dan still with us and i gather you've wanted Anne in the compound for a long time - hope that works out and it'll keep you distracted from...

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## Saint Willy

> and it'll keep you distracted from...


Yep, time to move over to this thread. the Ashes thread is ashes.

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## reddog

Great thread Mandip, nice to see you arrived home save and sound.

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## malmomike77

> Yep, time to move over to this thread. the Ashes thread is ashes.


Well Mendip needs to stop tuning into the Ashes - he's fallen off the wagon again

----------


## Stumpy

> Well anyway... 
> 
> I must admit as nice as Bangkok is... it was time to go home. It's wonderful to be back with the pack!


Welcome back Mendy...I sure hope you washed off your leg after he rubbed one off on ya...  


Btw, I still have your Singapore Airline spoon I "Borrowed" for ya

Cheers

----------


## bsnub

Glad you long journey is over! Cheers Mendy!

----------


## katie23

Congrats on the trip home, mendy.

Glad that old Dan is still hale & hearty. I still remember her other costumes. I liked her  "hiker Katie" costume - very apt.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle



----------


## Saint Willy

> 


More to the point, who da fuck took that photo????

----------


## Topper

> More to the point, who da fuck took that photo????


The gardener presumably....

----------


## Stumpy

> The gardener presumably....


Thankfully it appears the Gardener didnt want to dry hump Mendys leg or sit on his lap after his return home.  

So Mendy. What projects do you have planned?

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## Saint Willy

> What projects do you have planned?


Drain the pond?

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## Headworx

He was by himself, set his phone up at just the right angle, hit the take-photo button, and with the reflexes of a cartoon Leopard with super powers leapt into the jacuzzi, poured a beer, then posed for the photo all before the shutter opened. 

And that, your Honour, is my clients defence.

----------


## Saint Willy

> the reflexes of a cartoon Leopard with super powers


Mendy. 


Not Ant.

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## nidhogg

> The gardener presumably....


I am confused.  Either that photo is out of timeline, or its a Bangkok photo.

Which definately demands an answer to who took the photo.....

----------


## OhOh

> And that, your Honour, is my clients defence.


We can also rule out the Philippine boat lady, as there was no mention of a jacuzzi on the boat.

----------


## Stumpy

And why is the water so dirty? And what's up with Mendy's black arm on the left? Did he pick up a disease or is that all that ape hair? There is a lot to be discussed in that pic plus we most deffo need a Red Dingle comment with a picture.... :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> I am confused. Either that photo is out of timeline, or its a Bangkok photo.


By the colour of that minging bath water, it looks like his 10 dogs have been in there, together with the gardener wearing nothing but his wellies and crotchless new Christmas attire.

----------


## bsnub

> By the colour of that minging bath water, it looks like his 10 dogs have been in there


 :rofl:

----------


## Headworx

The industrial standard white towels are what gives it away, every Bangkok short-time hotel has them in their jacuzzi suites.

----------


## Saint Willy

> The industrial standard white towels are what gives it away,


Nothing gets passed you!

----------


## Headworx

^Well there's 3 towels as well, which is always part of the _returning Oilfield worker who's just done a few months offshore and may bring a few birds back_ package.

----------


## Saint Willy

> ^Well there's 3 towels as well, which is always part of the returning Oilfield worker who's just done a few months offshore and may bring a few birds back package.


 :goldcup: 

TD CSI does it again! 

I hope you deleted that photo from your phone before getting home Mendy. Classic n00b mistake.

----------


## Stumpy

> TD CSI does it again!


Yes, Some outstanding work here. I was also thinking, after all that time offshore, the best he can pull together is a warm Leo????

----------


## Reg Dingle

> the best he can pull together is a warm Leo????


It's more worrying IMHO that he never shows what he pulls on these passport runs. My guess is plenty of dick :Smile:

----------


## bsnub

> My guess is plenty of dick


Speaking of dick, are you drinking with your buddy Jack off? He is usually in the bag before noon on Sundays, and you seem well along your way.  :Smile:

----------


## Reg Dingle

> why is the water so dirty? And what's up with Mendy's black arm on the left? Did he pick up a disease or is that all that ape hair? There is a lot to be discussed in that pic


Also,
Can anyone else see the resemblance with Ralf Rangnick now he's lost some timber :Smile: 
Where are his glasses?
Why is his watch not in the safe?
What's in that jar he's reaching for?

It all points, like that stump in the middle of the tub, to him being around someone he trusts, ie the gardener.






> are you drinking with your buddy Jack off? He is usually in the bag before noon on Sundays, and you seem well along your way


I don't need to be drunk to make a kunt our of myself. In fact I'm not long awake, have just bathed...alone :Sad:  and am off Xmas shopping. Lovely :Sad:  although I'm gonna be mainly drinking a few steins at the German Market

----------


## bsnub

> I don't need to be drunk to make a kunt our of myself.


I guess that's true.  :Sad: 




> am off Xmas shopping.


Merry Xmas Dilly!  :Smile: 




> lthough I'm gonna be mainly drinking a few steins at the German Market


Prost!

----------


## Headworx

> It all points, like that stump in the middle of the tub, to him being around someone he trusts, ie the gardener.


Well Detective Inspector Dingle, this does opens up all sorts of new angles and perhaps some priors  :Reporter: 

Mendip just out of interest, did you renew any passports in June of 2017 while accompanied by another male, gardner or otherwise, and by chance need to go to an Embassy in Pattaya? That whole Jaccuzi thing with 3 towels being needed rang a bell. *Warning, adult content in link*

Humiliating moment Thai brothel is raided by cops who find a pair of randy tourists having a threesome with a hooker in a jacuzzi

----------


## Mendip

> Great thread Mandip, nice to see you arrived home save and sound.


Thanks raddog!





> The gardener presumably....


And here it starts...





> Thankfully it appears the Gardener didnt want to dry hump Mendys leg or sit on his lap after his return home.  
> 
> So Mendy. What projects do you have planned?


There was nothing dry about Tommy's humping of my leg and he has been reprimanded. 

Numerous projects planned, but I just want to get my gorgeous daughter through her last couple of days of exams and on Wednesday I get serious.





> I am confused.  Either that photo is out of timeline, or its a Bangkok photo.
> 
> Which definitely demands an answer to who took the photo.....


I adhere to a strict timeline on these threads Nid. See HW's post below.





> We can also rule out the Philippine boat lady, as there was no mention of a jacuzzi on the boat.


We have a sauna on the boat but sadly no jacuzzi. I once worked on a Finnish icebreaker (it was either the Fennica or the Nordica, I can't remember which) that had a swimming pool. We weren't allowed to use it as there was no life guard on board. I kid you not. But anyway, there was no jacuzzi on my boat.





> And why is the water so dirty? And what's up with Mendy's black arm on the left? Did he pick up a disease or is that all that ape hair?


The water was clean but with some added 'bath' stuff. My arm was in shadow. I think we already covered the macho hirsute body type versus the clean shaven 'metro' type in another thread. I ain't making any apologies for being a man.





> together with the gardener wearing nothing but his wellies and crotchless new Christmas attire.


They are full crotched... do you think I'm some kind of freak?





> Also,
> Can anyone else see the resemblance with Ralf Rangnick now he's lost some timber
> Where are his glasses?
> Why is his watch not in the safe?
> What's in that jar he's reaching for?



Thanks mate, I'll take any compliments can I get these days. Which Premier manager do you resemble?

Glasses... I take them off in the bath. I don't need any help with my sight in some situations... if you know what I mean. 

You wanna borrow them?

I was testing my new watch underwater. Didn't get down to 100 metres but it preformed admirably... if you know what I mean!  :Smile: 

I don't know about the jar, can't remember. Cookies maybe?

----------


## bsnub

> That whole Jaccuzi thing with 3 towels being needed rang a bell.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Mendip

> He was by himself, set his phone up at just the right angle, hit the take-photo button, and with the reflexes of a cartoon Leopard with super powers leapt into the jacuzzi, poured a beer, then posed for the photo all before the shutter opened. 
> 
> And that, your Honour, is my clients defence.


Finally. someone with some sense (despite your Ashes comments!)

I mean, FFS guys, I try to round up a family work thread with a nice pic of me relaxing on my way home and all hell breaks loose. I was going to stay away from TD for a couple of days before I saw all this going on.

My only issue is the obvious doubt you're casting on this scenario HW... deliberately maybe?

These new Samsung camera phones have a timer you can set to whatever you want. No need to move like a 'cartoon leopard' ... just use the technology. You can also show your palm to the camera and it takes a pic a few seconds later.

I wish I'd never posted it now!

Let's move on...

----------


## Headworx

> You can also show your palm to the camera and it takes a pic a few seconds later.


I just tried that for the first time on my Samsung and a porn movie started playing, WTF?!

----------


## baldrick

> These new Samsung camera phones have a timer you can set to whatever you want. No need to move like a 'cartoon leopard' ... just use the technology. You can also show your palm to the camera and it takes a pic a few seconds later.


most phones you can train to a verbal command to take a photo - I think the default is usually cheese

----------


## Mendip

> I just tried that for the first time on my Samsung and a porn movie started playing, WTF?!


Try clearing your cache!  :rofl:

----------


## Mendip

> most phones you can train to a verbal command to take a photo - I think the default is usually cheese


Yeah, that's what I meant Baldrick, I do the verbal cheese thing quite often as well.

----------


## bsnub

> I was going to stay away from TD for a couple of days before I saw all this going on.


You have a fan club, Mendy. We do want to know what is going on with the current TD repo leader.  :Smile:

----------


## malmomike77

> There was nothing dry about Tommy's humping of my leg and he has been reprimanded.


does that mean you've moved from beta back to alpha, i hope you returned the favour and gave him a muzzle clamp during the process. you have to stamp on that shit pronto

----------


## Mendip

^ Yeah, Tommy won't be doing that again.

Although to be honest it's nice to be missed... at least by the dogs!  :Smile:

----------


## Saint Willy

> Yeah, that's what I meant Baldrick, I do the verbal cheese thing quite often as well.


That doesn't explain the three towels...

----------


## Mendip

^ If you look carefully it's only two towels and one of those  floor mat things.

As many people have kindly pointed out my body type holds a lot of water. Two towels is pretty standard.

Let's move on...

----------


## Headworx

^Must. Resist.  :Smile:

----------


## Stumpy

> ^Must. Resist.


 :smiley laughing:

----------


## Stumpy

> There was nothing dry about Tommy's humping of my leg and he has been reprimanded.


Yeah I think the picture clearly shows his junk wasn't and he was enjoying a private moment with your leg. Duct tape as punishment would be my approach, keep his junk in place. Thankfully I only have females.

----------


## Saint Willy

> Two towels is pretty standard.


For the clean up after 12 weeks offshore? Surprised it only took 2 towels to clean that mess. Unless that filipino stewardess discreetly released the pressure a few times.

----------


## Topper

I've read a lot of threads over the years, but this one is one of the best I've ever followed.  Thanks Mendip!!!!!

----------


## OhOh

^
He may be the ringmaster, but the lions have added to the tensions, along with the ooh and ahh moments, thus keeping the audience around the ring thoroughly entertained, for over 4 months.

In the best possible tastes, as always.

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## David48atTD

What about a whip round and the Forum get you a pair of these for Christmas?

Go with dem Jesus sandals nicely .  :pullsleigh: 





> Attachment 79978


Click the link for the image if it's not showing.

----------


## Headworx

^I'm sorry to say that from what we've seen of Mendip's sense of fashion and footwear, he's probably thinking of buying those socks  :Sad:

----------


## DrWilly

> he's probably thinking of buying those socks



But only if they are £3.99 or less per pair.

----------

