#  >  > Travellers Tales in Thailand and Asia >  >  > Laos Forum >  >  Vientiane pool, herbal sauna and massage.

## Chairman Mao

Fly up to Udon with airasia for cheaper than the 9 hour VIP buses, last time it was 399 each way, 1,200 return with all domestic surcharges etc. Can’t beat that.

So chances are you’ll need a hangover cure. Well, print this out, stick it in yer bag and thank me later.

*Outdoor pool.*

Go past the morning market/bus station and about 2.5 km along you’ll see a biggish road on the left on a T-junction. This is *Sokpaluang Road*. Of course there isn’t a sign to tell you that (The locals are intelligent people) but it is. Go down about 2 km, and you’ll pass the German embassy on your right, keep on going and you’ll come to the University of Laos – Faculty of Engineering on the right hand side. Directly opposite this is Sokpaluang swimming pool. Without these directions you, like I, would have driven past it 3 times before asking a local if in fact it exists, due to the pool and the signage having a hedge between it and the road. Opposite the Uni, there it is.




Also like me, if your swimming shorts are safely folded up in your Bangkok condo, stop off at the morning market to buy some as I cannot imagine the horror of pulling up a rented pair of swimming shorts that have cradled the bollox of 100 men. The xxxl shorts were overly snug on my 35 inch waist, so those of you with slightly superior girth might struggle to find a pair that isn’t overly revealing.




So the pool, it’s cheap. Very, very cheap. 9,000 Kip for me and my bike’s parking spot. And quite large too, about 20-25 metres, ranging from 1.5 -4 metres deep. Had about 10 kids having fun in it while their parents mulled around the quite tranquil greenery gnawing on chicken feet, insects and bugs. They weren’t grooming each other so perhaps there’s some evolution taking place over the border. 2 lovely Uni stus slowly sauntered past on the way to the changing rooms and offered some very friendly Hellos, smiles and giggles. My dreams were dashed however when they emerged from the changing rooms 5 minutes later sporting more clothes than when they went in… t-shirts, shorts and dungarees. Perfect swimming attire.

The pool was surprisingly clean, and by meandering a few meters behind the Uni stus one was just about able to taste their love… which was nice. They also have a diving board to show off your manly nose-holding technique while the 6 year olds do somersaults off it 3 at a time.





All in all, good fun with the kids, refreshingly cool and the chance for a bit of a perv if some the uni stus happen to have popped over.
*
Herbal sauna and massage.*

Go back down Sokpaluang until you reach the Kraut embassy. Opposite this is a Forest Wat that offers such treats. If like me, your hangover makes noticing a miniscule badly written sign you’ll go into the wat grounds and impress some locals with your Thai. They’ll point back towards the gate where you might see the sign with what might pass for an arrow pointing to the left.

(there's the sign in blue)



Follow this and you’re there. A nice wooden house with upstairs veranda, massage area and herbal sauna. A nice place to chill if there’s no backpacker filth or hippy scum hanging around. Change into your sarong while the sauna is heating up, and it gets hot, muthafuking exhaust pipe on leg hot if you step next to one of the vents. Pop in and out as much as you want and enjoy some herbal tea on the veranda free of charge, then go for your Lao massage. Unfortunately it was little scummy monkey man who did the rubbing and not the voluptuous little Lao piece of seduction that was mulling around the place dreaming of being smashed by farang cock.


(your herbal sauna)


For those used to Thai massage the Lao version is far more subtle with a lot more rubbing and pressing as opposed to the Thai tugging and yanking.

50,000 kip for both sauna and massage. About 200 baht. Even made some new friends, but had to bugger of as 3 backpacker vermin pulled up on their stupid fuking girlie pedal bikes. Bet they thought that was a good idea after 10 minutes in the 35 degree sunshine.

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## dirtydog

What, no pics?

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## Chairman Mao

I can see em. Or do you mean of the Uni stus?

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## dirtydog

erm nope, I mean no pics at all unless you send your pc to me.

do a hard refresh, ie ctrl and F5, aint no piccies.

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## Marmite the Dog

It seems the shelf stacking forum doesn't allow linking to it's attached files...

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## baldrick

any chance on finding the spots via google earth and putting the GPS co-ords in your post ?

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## Chairman Mao

Pics are in.

^ Gimme some time Bob.

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## Chairman Mao

> any chance on finding the spots via google earth and putting the GPS co-ords in your post ?


Having never done anything much with google Earth, the latitude is  17°56'28.60"N and the longitude 102°37'38.49"E for the swimming pool.

If you can take the snapshot or whatever feel free to put it up.

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## matsalleh

> I can see em. Or do you mean of the Uni stus?



Sorry - can't see ANY picture in that thread...

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## pompeybloke

> the latitude is 17°56'28.60"N and the longitude 102°37'38.49"E for the swimming pool.


piece of piss to find it now, ta chairman. good information for the future, cheers

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## Chairman Mao

> Originally Posted by Chairman Mao
> 
> 
> I can see em. Or do you mean of the Uni stus?
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry - can't see ANY picture in that thread...


I give up then.

Just imagine what a swimming pool looks like.

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## Norton

I imagine it looks like this.

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## Chairman Mao

You've been there then Norts.

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## jarne

i have been to the sauna behind the wat on a few occations. Last time though it was more like a lao gay society in the sauna.  I dont fancy that.
But the massage girls on the second floor where happy
A nice way to spend a few hours.

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## insideleft

I have no sympathy for the misery you appear to have experienced in your travels, I was particularly unimpressed by the distress on the young fellas at the pool...

Now, take me...living the high life in the sheep country of Shepherds Bush...there is nothing like it...heavy traffic, angry distant women, stodgy food, gordon brown...luxury...

Photos such as yours are beacons of joy here is sheep country.  Please keep em coming.
 :Aussie:  :spam2:

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## KFC

Great trip report - straight out of the old Jimmy Buffet song: "Banana Republics". Even Jimmy Buffet could not have imagined the expatriate American visa runners in the Mango Republics, getting their jollies by ogling young boys and girls in public swimming pools and looking for hand jobs in dingy massage parlors.  

That a couple of young, healthy and fit cyclists wouldn't give an old, overweight hungover expat the time of the day comes as no surprise.
The fear of young, energetic and enthusiastic backpackers is a well documented phenomenon in expat circles. As is the fear of fat old, boring boozed up expats invading backpacker ghettos in backpacker circles.

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## Chairman Mao

Sorry KFC, I'm in my 20s.

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