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The Fun & Joy of Using a Thai Toilet

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The Thai Toilet

Placement of Feet

Aiming Point

Train Toilet Nightmare

Backpacker Toilet Ideas

More Thai Toilet Adventures.

Isaan Toilet Adventure

The Thai Toilet

The average Thai toilet will not be as clean as the one pictured on the left, whether you are in a Thai cafe, Thai bar or Thai restaurant the odds are stacked against you finding a toilet with a toilet seat, or toilet paper or even a sink sometimes.
Generally it's going to be hot and wet in there, and you can only hope and pray that it has a bum gun for cleaning up afterwards.

Preparing Yourself for the squat

If you are old, infirm or overweight you may need someone to help you with this, basically you need to place your feet where the red arrows are and aim for the green arrow, this is actually harder than it looks so you will have to be prepared to readjust your aim.
So first things first, if the floor is wet it maybe an idea to take off most of your clothes, you will usually find a nail in the door to hang them from, it's probably at this stage that you will be thankful that you wore underpants or socks, if you didn't you are going to have to think of a different way for cleaning your bottom afterwards.

Tips and Tricks

As you can see in the 3rd picture the hole in the toilet is very small, if you have recently eaten a nice Sunday lunch with roast beef, roast potatoes, yorkshire puddings and lashings of gravy you may find that the hole is not going to be able to deal with what you are about to try and force down it, remember these were designed for people that eat a plate of rice and some veg and a bit of meat, trying to get a kilo or more of poo down it in one go just isn't going to work, between purges it is a good idea to pour a bowl or two of water into the toilet to help against blockages.

Readers Tips and Tricks

Mr Hillbilly

Make certain that before one does any business in the stall is to make positive the bum gun works and if not there is adequate toilet paper.
I have err, donated several pairs of boxers in the bin do to the fact that the needed resources were not checked out prior to the deed.

Mrs Landreth

Some other things to do while in a Thai bathroom (with a squatting toilet).
Your bare feet never have to hit the wet floor/toilet. Slip your shoes/sandals off while you undress, but step on top of them while doing everything,…….redressing/undressing yourself and squatting (slip them back on). Might be a bit more difficult if you’re female and wearing heals.
Someone mentioned “how to” in a train. It is difficult, for sure. Especially for us westerners who are not used to trying to balance ourselves over a toilet while a train is moving. However if you take a closer look while in a Thai train you’ll see two bathrooms (toilet rooms) in each train car (across from one another), one with a squatter and one with a western type toilet.
One last thing,…..If you cannot find a hook or nail in your bathroom cubical to hang your pants/shorts on while using the toilet, I have found that you can use the door hinge to hang your shorts/pants/backpack on while using the toilet (most toilets here in Thailand open towards the inside of the toilet, so you’ll find the hinge pin on the inside of the bathroom). Use the noose that your belt runs through to hang on the hinge (make sure it clean of grease or rust).

Mr Fred

To use one, I find it best to completely remove your trousers and underwear before squatting down and pooing your funky stuff.
New visitors to Asia often find a greater need for being close to a toilet after eating spicy food.
Because you may have to remove your trousers quickly due to the spicy food, it’s better not to leave things until the last moment.
The laundry services may not be keen on serving you if you leave things too late too often.

These squat toilets sometimes have an arse hose to clean the clingy bits of crap away but most just have a container of water and a scoop.
The idea is you splash water on your arse and use your left hand to scrape away any loose offerings.
Many westerners find this a bit off putting so I usually suggest having a pack of soft table napkins with you at all times.
These napkins are also handy when eating with your hands as the restaurants usually provide just a few very thin tissues and double up very nicely as arse wipes.
It is not advisable to use these as generally they are really rough and very thin.
Public toilets rarely have soap to wash your hands so it’s a good idea to have some in your day bag. I usually pinch the small ones from hotel bathrooms.
Almost all expensive hotels have sit down toilets but cheaper hotels/guesthouses and public toilets will most likely be squats.
Newer shopping centers usually have some of both but older places will usually just have squat toilets.

Mr Kurgen

By the time you reach the point of no return just pray for paper and bum guns.

Mr Landreth

When looking for the right toilet to use,…….make sure there is a hook on the back of the door or on the wall in your bathroom cubical (?) so you can hang your pants/shorts (if you remove them, like I do) and do not toss the pants over the door (or place them on the floor next to the bottom of the door) because they can be stolen.

Mr Brown

Hold your knob downwards whilst forcing one out, otherwise the cubicle or your pants/shorts will be sprayed with piss.

Miss Somtamslap

Wash it down and sit on the fxxxxx. Things can be quite explosive if you've eaten at the wrong establishment prior to the visit. Sitting saves unnecessary wall splattering.

Mrs Pickel

Pinch your cheeks and hold out until you can find a sit down toilet. If that isn't possible and you absolutely have to use a squatter, make sure to save enough energy to be able to stand up after, as your knees will seize up.

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