"Show him your Cross !"
"Get of my Bonnet you c**t "
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"Show him your Cross !"
"Get of my Bonnet you c**t "
oops.Quote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
Sigh.Quote:
Originally Posted by kingwilly
"No. Its ice cream honest."
Get with the program KW.
Here's one.
but if you get caught fucking a goat just one time....
Blah blah blah.. on the curtains and the wife hit the roof.
Can you make me one in pink?
Don't think I know that one, but you probably know this one.Quote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
Superman is patrolling the sky above New York when he spots Wonder Woman sunbathing naked, legs spread on top of a skyscraper, horny as hell he swoops down and screws her at supersonic speed and bam... he's gone.
Wonder Woman looks up and says "what the hell was that?"
The Invisible man says "I don't know, but my arse hurts!"
^
There's a bar on top of a really, really high building and it's very windy outside, so it is swaying back and forth.
A guy walks into the bar and has some drinks and is there for a few hours.
Another guy comes and sits next to him.
The first guy who has been there for a while looks at the man and says to him, "You know that there is a nice breeze outside and if you jump out it will blow you right back in."
The second guy doesn't agree and tells him to prove it. So, the first guy jumps out the window and comes soaring right back in.
The second guy asks him to do it one more time. So, the first guy jumps out and the nice breeze takes him right back into the bar.
At this time the second guy is starting to believe him and decides he needs to try this. He then jumps out and falls down to his death.
The bartender turns to the first guy and says, "You're a real asshole when you're drunk, Superman"
"Nice boobs, now where do you want the blinds?"
:rofl::rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by steve down under
Well if you have to explain it :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
That's far too long, red him Cojo! (Said in the same cadence as Book him, Dano! )
^ tough crowd.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so they can tell when they're really in trouble.
Did you hear about the dyslexic rock star?
He died by choking on his own Vimto.
Fact.Quote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
Anyone with a middle name has been well and truly channelled/manipulated/screwed around with/ indoctrinated by either family. friends, society. clan, district or nation.
May peace be upon you.
Eventually.
Yor mamas and papas iz insane.
A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please
describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain
suspicions as to your wife's fidelity."
"Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified. "So naturally
when I am home, I'm attentive to the wife." "One Sunday morning," he continued,
"we were in the midst of some pretty heavy love-making when the old lady in the
apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled, 'Can't you at least stop all
that racket on the weekends?'
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/03/284.jpg
&, just before I get my hat:
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/03/285.jpg
^ Ohh. Cujo is going to go medieval on your ass.......
They are jokes, and they are quick! :)
You're a real asshole when you're drunk, Superman
The version I heard was
Jeeezzze Gabriel, for an Arc Angel you can't half be a t*at.
"He say at quarter past three he's gonna swim across the river and fuck me till my eyeballs pop out!".
^ Looks legit.
But post the full joke up anyway eh?
I can't it's a visual one.
:)
Had an overdose on Viagra last night. My wife took it really hard
I can officially confirm (although I cannot confirm the source for this officialdom) that short jokes are permitted in visual format. In fact, they are encouraged...Quote:
Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/03/324.jpg
^ Think Cujo will be along to lay down a ruling to that soon.
Ah yes...Cujo, the underwear sheriff....
Ah yes - replying to people you profess to have on ignore.
Ah yes, utilizing the tantalizingly-placed "view post" button.....specifically and purposely there to occasionally view a post by some idiot and trollish cvnt I have on Ignore...
^ 5555. And again. Almost too easy.
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/03/335.jpg
Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How much for a blow job ?".
"Hundred Bucks".
"OK", he said and began to jerk off.
"What the hell are you doing that for?"
"For hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy
one, do you ?"
A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a
Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for
him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the
army," the general said. "Nothing to it - you'll catch on again fast."
Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's
bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around
the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said,
"OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."
"50yrs ago my arse wasnt stuck against an electric fence !"
Technically a short joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by Latindancer
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/03/366.jpg
Sherrif Cujo rules, ok.
Quote:
Originally Posted by steve down under
"Parkinsons!".
Drop her off at the edge of town. If she comes home, don't f*ck her.
No wonder they carry him around in a chair.
Africa there's fucking millions of them.
The last bloke threw up.
Then use Sallys behind.