A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, "Is this stool taken".
(Hope that wasn't too long for for the ADD folks).
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A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, "Is this stool taken".
(Hope that wasn't too long for for the ADD folks).
^:rofl:
Just bought a 'low energy light bulb' at Homepro. The Thai Assistant asked "Will you be putting this up yourself?" I said "No, its going in the lounge".
:smileylaughing:Quote:
Originally Posted by PAG
No, I mean I posted a follow on in the long jokes thread :)Quote:
Originally Posted by nidhoggTough crowd.Quote:
Originally Posted by harrybarracuda(See long jokes thread)Quote:
Originally Posted by PAG
^ Ah! Thanks for the clarification!
Tough crowd..... tsk tsk tsk
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet me at the corner.
Grooaaan.Quote:
Originally Posted by fred flintstone
Sat next to a fruit machine addict at a gamblers anonymous meeting last night, It was awful.
He kept nudging me.
HRC :rofl:
Gawd damn! What a price to pay for posting a crappy joke.
Instead of calling my toilet the 'john', I call it the 'jim'.That way I can tell everybody I go to the jim first thing every morning.
What do we want!
A cure for obesity.
When do we want it?
After dinner.
What’s the difference between a woman and a cat?
One is a finicky eater who doesn’t care if you live or die. The other is a house pet.
Always love a woman for her personality; they have ten so you can choose.
Can't green you 2 times in a row.
555555555555555555555555555555
OR more times. 555
Korean meatballs at Tesco Lotus 10 baht a tin...................They are the Dogs Bollocks.
Rodrigo Duterte
What’s the most sensitive part of your body while masturbating?
Your ears because you’re listening for footsteps.........
A bitter divorced guy bumped into his ex-wife’s new husband at a cocktail party. After a few drinks, he strolled conceitedly over to him and sneered: “So, how do you like using secondhand goods?” “It doesn’t bother me,” said the new husband. “Once you get past the first three inches, it’s all brand new.”
I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.
Very few people tell Roman numeral jokes these days. I is one.
:)
All these years I thought I was great in bed but I've just found out my wife's got asthma.
Don't you hate people who answer their own questions? I know I do.
What is the best form of contraception for middle-aged couples?
Nudity
i refused to believe my father was stealing from his job at the highway department, but when i got home all the signs were there.
Boy George has been arrested after his pet reptile attacked several members of the public.
He really needs a calmer chameleon.
I'm not saying my ex wife's armpits were hairy, but it looks like she's got Bob Marley in a headlock
Been having a problem with my hearing, so went to see a doctor this morning.
The doctor asked, "can you describe the symptoms?"
"Of course I can", I said, "Homer is a fat twat who loves doughnuts and Marge has blue hair!"
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
^not really a joke, is it
You can't lose a homing pidgeon – if you let your homing pidgeon go and it doesn’t come back...all you've lost is a pidgeon
555Quote:
Originally Posted by PAG
Nothing beats The Simpsons
555Quote:
Originally Posted by fred flintstone
Of course, it is.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Talked to, or talked into?
Helloooooooooooo.
HiiiiiiiiiiiiiQuote:
Originally Posted by Maanaam
555
:smileylaughing:
That's strange....there is an echo in this one...