What are you, 12?Quote:
Originally Posted by Maanaam
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What are you, 12?Quote:
Originally Posted by Maanaam
Definition of a 16 year old boy: a life support system for an erection.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maanaam
^^, No, 16.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
FFS If I HAD any loose fitting clothing,I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
My doctor asked me if any of my family suffer from mental illness.
I said no, we all seem to enjoy it.
There was a contortionist competition at my local village hall.
I entered myself and won fist prize.
^ Almost literally :rofl:
I mean me almost rolling on the floor.
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/09/868.jpg
Happy to have brightened someone's day!
I'm selling my dogging equipment on eBay. No bids yet but 10 people are watching.
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and I could hear the patients shouting
13..13..13..13..13
I wondered what the fuck was going on, the fence was too high to look over but I found a gap in it, just as I peeked through it I got poked in the eye with a sharp stick and they started shouting
14..14..14..14..14
I just came back from holiday in Thailand and I was so close to shagging a lady boy!!
Looked like a lady, talked like a lady, kissed like a lady........ It was only when she drove me to her place and reversed the car into the garage in one try I thought to myself, "Hang on a fucking moment..."
Maybe a repeat but...
So, you met a Western ladyboy in Thailand.
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
My next door neighbour got a pug dog as a surprise present the other day.
Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat the dog seems to like her....
No. But I have been told that if while shagging a Ladyboy you do a reach around. It is as if your cock has gone right through.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maanaam
‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ generally mean the same thing – except at funerals
:smileylaughing:Quote:
Originally Posted by VocalNeal
BrilliantQuote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
Trump: "It's not a toupee, I just found the Bush that Jeb lost.
source: Donald Trump President Jokes - Donald Trump Jokes
How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan.
Why is Hillary Clinton running for President?
Because it's easier than running from Law Enforcement.
Did you hear about the 11th Commandment Hilary Clinton introduced?
Thou shall not expose thy rod to thy staff.
The other day I noticed a well endowed lady had a tattoo on her breast. Tat for tit I thought.
I got caught licking ice cream from my girlfriends breasts the other day. I don’t know who was more embarrassed me or the staff at McDonalds.
I went to the doctors today to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up
Had an overdose on Viagra last night. My wife took it really hard
Girlfriend died last night in the middle of oral. It was a bit of a blow
tolsti, I'll tell you the original joke...
A young gypsy girl knocked on my door last night.
'Have you got any old clothes to donate?'
'What's in it for me?'
'You can touch me breasts if you like?'
I thought for a second, that's not bad...Tit for tat!
Went for my yearly check up yesterday.
He stuck his finger up my arse and I thought...
Should I change dentists?
The doctor said to me "I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating".
I said "Why, is it doing me damage?".
He said "No, this is the waiting room".
Very good Charley.... you're older than me so you remember originals.... I only get the re-runs!Quote:
Originally Posted by charleyboy
Did you hear the one about the fox who stood behind a VW Passat diesel?
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Had to have an injection in the bum recently, the nurse said "only a small prick"
"Yea yea" I said "you dont have to comment on it"
You're the only guy I know, went for a prostate check and asked for second opinionQuote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
It was all good until I realized he had both hands on my shoulders......Quote:
Originally Posted by SiLeakHuntYou're the only guy I know, went for a prostate check and asked for second opinionQuote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
ouch... not sure to green you or red you hogg.
^ I'm glad I don't believe in either one. When I'm dead I'm just gone.
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Jew sit on a bench.
The Englishman says: “I’m so tired and thirsty, I must have beer.”
The Frenchman says: “I’m zo tired and theersty, I must ’ave wine.”
The Jew says: “I’m so tired and thirsty, I must have diabetes.”
Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend - Beautiful,
Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible.
I just bumped into the Local Siamese Twins in the Village,
some one gave them a Man 'U' T-shirt, You will never walk alone..