Dear Pooly...

[poolcleaner]

Dear Poolie the Cleaner,

My nephew, 21 yrs old and still a student at ABAC, has fallen for a bird but she ain't interested in him anymore. They used to hook up in the evenings and get hammered.

He, now, looks like a pathetic loser who thinks there's nothing left in this life. He keeps on taking huge amount of liquior everyday and doesn't concentrate on his studies which is scaring the shit out of me. After all my sister sent him here cos she thought I'd be the one keeping an eye on him. My busy schedule doesn't allow me to watch him like a hawk. When he started his first sememster, now in third, his gpa was superb but since the end of second semester its declining. I spoke to him on several occassions explaining things about life in a cordial way but the guys too thick. I've just decided to talk to him for the last time and tell him to forget the girl and concentrate on education. If his gpa goes below 3.4 then he won't be staying in LOS for another second.

What's your suggestion (this is a serious issue mate)?

Thanks to my assistants for their worthy advice. Falling grades. Everyone naturally looks to the obvious answer; a broken heart. Well I don't! Macha sit him down. Ask him what's going on. I suspect he's going through the normal shit young people go through at this age. "Is this what I want?" "Am I happy?" Try and talk to him like an adult. Be concerned. Let him trust you. Find out if there's anything you can do to help. If he's pulled one bird he can pull another. At his age the fact that he's been dumped will only hit hard for a week or two. I suspect he's got problems with classmates or his teacher. It maybe his perception of his lifestyle by others. He may feel he's not accepted by his peers. In any case, do take him out to get laid!! A young fellow having his uncle treating him to adult sex is gold! He'll never forget that night and he'll worship you forever. What a fucking story to tell his classmates!! You can make or break this young man Macha. Watcha gonna do?

[Captain Sensible]

If you want my unqualified opinion Macha just follow Pooly's advise to the letter. You can do this mate.

[mrsquirrel]

Dear Poollie

After going away for the weekend on Science camp my throat has become fucked from some nasty sickness that all the little horrors were carrying.

I always used to tell my bird that a good dose of man juice was good for her bad throat. Is this true and should I drink my own man juice to ease the pain?

Cheers

Mr Sq

[poolcleaner]

Dear Poollie

After going away for the weekend on Science camp my throat has become fucked from some nasty sickness that all the little horrors were carrying.

I always used to tell my bird that a good dose of man juice was good for her bad throat. Is this true and should I drink my own man juice to ease the pain?

Cheers

Mr Sq

Now I have to ask myself "Is this a real plea for advice or is Mrs Q winding me up?" We all use a wide variety of schemes to get the girls to perform a host of acts their mothers wouldn't approve of and this one's been tried quite often. A cup of cum never hurt anyone I'm pretty sure but cure a sore throat? Not on your life! Now the question is "Does Mrs Q know this already?" If so, why the 'Dear Poolie letter?' What I'm getting from this post isn't a guy with a sore throat but in fact a desperate soul who wants badly to drink his own cum but needs someone's hand to help him break that taboo. So, now what do I advise? A cup of your own cum won't hurt you Mrs Q. Go ahead it's your body. I know you like to experiment and live life in the weird zone. Consider yourself a pioneer. "But Poolie" I hear you protest "It's a bit gay don't you think? Are you advocating Mrs. Q changing team?" I'm confident that if Mrs Q wanted to experiment wih gay sex she would have done it a long time ago. Drinking one's own love juice is not something we bring up at the dinner table with the rellies but these days announcing a weekend away with GeeCee will hardly turn a head. So Mrs Q, I can live with the fact that your a personal cum drinker and I guess that's all you really need.

[mrsquirrel]

Does that mean that it won't help my sore throat then?

I guess I will get the missus to drink it then and see if it helps the sore throat mentally

[poolcleaner]

Does that mean that it won't help my sore throat then?

I guess I will get the missus to drink it then and see if it helps the sore throat mentally

Amoxilin will help the throat.

Why not try 'cum swapping'?
Blow off in the missus mouth and then have her dribble it back into your mouth.
All part of the service at Eden Club!

[mrsquirrel]

My ex did that to me once when I was shit faced - i never knew until she announced at the pub the next week that she had done it.

Bitch.

[poolcleaner]

My ex did that to me once when I was shit faced - i never knew until she announced at the pub the next week that she had done it.

Bitch.

"in the pub"
LMTO
Got to love those wicked girls!

[Harry Palmer]

Dear Mr Poo Cleaner.

I have a really bad reputation on the Thailand based forums and I am doing my best to clean up my act. The problem is I keep getting banned from different forums, EVEN forums with a no ban policy.

What can I do to stop this happening.

Yours

HP

[poolcleaner]

Dear Mr Poo Cleaner.

I have a really bad reputation on the Thailand based forums and I am doing my best to clean up my act. The problem is I keep getting banned from different forums, EVEN forums with a no ban policy.

What can I do to stop this happening.

Yours

HP

Dear Mr. Palmer, this is not an area where I carry much expertise.
I've only ever been banned from ThaiVisa for a short spell and that was for poking fun at 'ol Postcount.

I suppose the logical advice in this situation is to consider your post both before and after you type it.
What will be the result from your post?
Will it offend?
Will it do the trick and piss off your target?
Whatever your desired outcome you have to accept the consequences of your actions.
If you don't wish to be banned, post about teaching in a pleasant respectful manner constantly reminding Louis how great he is and forever thank BangersP for the valued assistance his 'ajarn' board brought to you in your early days here.
Of course that's the most boring thing you could do so my advice would be to load up the multi-niks and re-route your IP through Siberia and keep on trolling!

[mrsquirrel]

What is a mulri-niks. Where can I buy one?

[poolcleaner]

What is a mulri-niks. Where can I buy one?

mulri-niks are small attachments for the testicles that have ever so tiny claws which cut the skin if the chain is pulled tight. Usually only used by bondage S/M people as found on Alt.com.

[mrsquirrel]

Poolie

Do you like your nuts shaved or hairy.

I like to shave them down myself as long as I have menthol shaving foam to use.

[poolcleaner]

Poolie

Do you like your nuts shaved or hairy.

I like to shave them down myself as long as I have menthol shaving foam to use.

Scrotum shaving is not something I've considered prolly because I'm not a particularly hairy specimen. So I guess I opt for hairy!

I should ask how you do it but........I'm not sure I want to know.
I'd definitely be up for it if it was offered to me in a hair salon, not my wife's though!

[Fabian]

Harry's question reminded me that I have a similar questions.
While I have no problem on english language internet forums related to Thailand, the same is not the case with the german forums where I keep getting banned or getting into trouble.

Are them german moderators morons or what could be the reason?

[poolcleaner]

Harry's question reminded me that I have a similar questions.
While I have no problem on english language internet forums related to Thailand, the same is not the case with the german forums where I keep getting banned or getting into trouble.

Are them german moderators morons or what could be the reason?

Now I aim to help all who seek advice but Fab this is right out of my league.
WTF do I know about German forums?
Maybe you've picked up some bad habits during your long association with dirtydog!
Do you post 3-holer pics?

I'd try reverting back to a more typical teutonic posting style with little or no humour and whatever you do.............don't mention the war!

[Fabian]

That may be the reason, I cannot post humourless.

[machangezi]

Thanks very much Fabs, Frisco, Poolie and the Captain for the input. I was fooking stressed yesterday and wanted the answer right away but I think Poolie was too busy and that's why Fabs replied. Thanks Fabs.

I left my cabin at 5 30pm yesterday without getting any reply to my question. I was confused and had many things going on my mind. The time I got home it was 10 40pm. My dogs started barking when I got to the drive way, adding more misery to already miserable person's life cos the neighbours were sleeping.

When I got off the car I was surprised and happy to see the turf and the plants wet. This gave me a little indication that he's making progress towards normal life (he didn't water the plants for three weeks). While I was thinking I saw him coming out from the guest room. I asked him for a walk and started the conversation.

I asked him if he can tell me why's he in LOS and what's his objective? Then I told him to forget the bird who dumped him and move on. He agreed with me! I even asked him, as you suggested, if there's anything I can do for him. I also told him if he's gagging for sex then uncle can take him to those massage parlours where he can get laid.

Later on we went to the guest room and had a couple of drinks together and talked about several things that was bothering him. He assured me that everything's fine with him and he only wants to focus on his studies.

Although he assured me that everything's fine, deep inside I still feel something ain't right. I think he wants to get laid but too shy to tell me (you know Muslim thingies, culture and age difference).

Any input will be appreciated.

[Fabian]

I don't think it's a good idea to have a few drinks with someone who developed a drinking problem.

[machangezi]

You're right Fabs but I already had it last night. Will be careful in future.

[Captain Sensible]

Push the fokker in the Klong, Macha.
I havent looked back since MeMock did it to me. I even got a sponsorship from Klongfresh as a result.
You have to be cruel to be kind in my opinion.

Sorry Pooly, I didnt mean to cut in mate.

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Dear Pooly,

WHY do womens nipples stick out when it's cold, whilst men's dicks shrink to nothing?

Wally
(Bangkok)

[poolcleaner]

Dear Pooly,

WHY do womens nipples stick out when it's cold, whilst men's dicks shrink to nothing?

Wally
(Bangkok)

Hey, I'm a sociologist/psychologist who majored in Female Pectoral Phrenology
I don't know how things work!
I should refer you to howthingsworks.com I suppose.

We know the tackle's function has some connection with temperature, you know hot day lying around the house naked one can't help but be impressed but on the other hand a cold night in Tokyo and you whip off the undies hoping to impress the two young lovlies in school uniforms when it's "Omigod, where'd it go?"

As for nipples? Dunno.
Maybe in God's creative moments he was thinking of ice blocks!

Sorry Wally. I've prolly not been too much help to you!

[friscofrankie]

Dear pooly;
While out and about last night, celebrating his 25th birthday, my son heard some off-color comment directed at he and his friends by a couple of Tuk-tuk drivers. This morning his head looks like a watermelon from where he was piped and kicked about the head & shoulders whilst pummelng the loudest of said drivers.
I am at quandry wondering what to do. I have repeatedly told him to keep his yap shut. Or, barrng that to remember that a fight in the streets with Tuk tuk drivers may become a life-or-death experience and he should thus fight accordingly.
What's a father to do? At this point I am prepared to return t the scene of the beating and demonstrate just how an ex-con, semi-retired biker, old muthafucka conducts himself in a common street fight using various appliances of mayhem and violence. I do know this is not an answer to the problem.
Should I just put the boy on the first thing smokin' out of the country? Or, indoctrinate him in the finer points of winning at all costs? Fuckin' kids unable to sit politely by taking abuse and this, I have to admit, may have some base in how he was raised. How do I get him to choose the right time to fight and the right time to walk on by. You'd think that after his third ass-whipping he'd learn.

[twinkle]

We know the tackle's function has some connection with temperature, you know hot day lying around the house naked one can't help but be impressed but on the other hand a cold night in Tokyo and you whip off the undies hoping to impress the two young lovlies in school uniforms when it's "Omigod, where'd it go?"

Dear Poolcleaning. Thanks. Ist a ironique one that you writing this ones today becase I am comming home after beech shuttlecock this morning and I am finding Wolgang with this other mans so I am makee the pikture and to showing you.



I am not tell the Wolfgang that I am makee this ones and I am leaving the condomeenium immediately and he is a still asleeping. This times I am finish with her I think. I am not even want to talk to her and aslso not getting my thing from the codomeeniums.
Sorry for me now coz I am just too upset for the thalking.
Sorry thanks.

Dieter