Quick Jokes

**charleyboy** · 10-09-2016, 07:34 AM

If you're a Ginger, never get a Brazilian.
It'll look like a fish finger!

**Maanaam** · 10-09-2016, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by noelbino

Originally Posted by can123:

Sailor : Captain, captain there be a homosexual aboard this vessel.

Captain : How do you know that ?

Sailor : Last night I was sucking the bosun's penis and there was shit on the end of
it.

Not at all funny.

How do you know if your best mate is gay?
If his cock tastes of shit.

**steve down under** · 10-09-2016, 07:16 PM

What’s the best part of sex with a Ladyboy? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through

**can123** · 10-09-2016, 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by noelbino

Originally Posted by can123:

Sailor : Captain, captain there be a homosexual aboard this vessel.

Captain : How do you know that ?

Sailor : Last night I was sucking the bosun's penis and there was shit on the end of
it.

Not at all funny.

It's a lot funnier than the one you provided.

**noelbino** · 11-09-2016, 10:59 AM

^^^^

Bush was a Joke and he was not funny either!!!

**OhOh** · 11-09-2016, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by Cujo

Extremely lame and childish.

For sure.

**Dillinger** · 11-09-2016, 12:38 PM

Whats Long Hard And Makes A Woman Moan??........

An Ironing Board!!

**Maanaam** · 11-09-2016, 01:02 PM

How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.

You can lead a whore to water, but you cannot make her think.
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

**VocalNeal** · 11-09-2016, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by Maanaam

You can lead a whore to water, but you cannot make her think.

I believe the correct one is:

You can lead a whore to Vassar, but you can't make her think.

**MrG** · 11-09-2016, 11:18 PM

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led-- Stan Laurel.

**david44** · 12-09-2016, 04:58 PM

A pessimist is someone who has lived with an optimist

**toslti** · 13-09-2016, 09:35 AM

Adam and Eve were the first people not to read The Apple Terms and Conditions.......

**nidhogg** · 13-09-2016, 11:22 AM

Definition of a wife: An object you screw on the bed to do the housework.

**Maanaam** · 13-09-2016, 06:42 PM

definition of a woman: Life support system for a vagina.

**billy the kid** · 13-09-2016, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by toslti

Adam and Eve were the first people not to read The Apple Terms and Conditions

Adam was left his Adam's. Eve nagged him into it.

Go on go on have a bite.

**Cujo** · 13-09-2016, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by Maanaam

definition of a woman: Life support system for a vagina.

What are you, 12?

**MrG** · 13-09-2016, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by Maanaam

definition of a woman: Life support system for a vagina.

Definition of a 16 year old boy: a life support system for an erection.

**Maanaam** · 14-09-2016, 06:22 AM

^^, No, 16.

**toslti** · 15-09-2016, 02:01 PM

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.

FFS If I HAD any loose fitting clothing,I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

**Maanaam** · 21-09-2016, 08:51 AM

My doctor asked me if any of my family suffer from mental illness.
I said no, we all seem to enjoy it.

**VocalNeal** · 21-09-2016, 09:37 AM

There was a contortionist competition at my local village hall.
I entered myself and won fist prize.

**Maanaam** · 21-09-2016, 09:54 AM

^ Almost literally

I mean me almost rolling on the floor.

**VocalNeal** · 21-09-2016, 11:31 AM

Happy to have brightened someone's day!

**toslti** · 23-09-2016, 09:39 AM

I'm selling my dogging equipment on eBay. No bids yet but 10 people are watching.

**SiLeakHunt** · 23-09-2016, 05:00 PM

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and I could hear the patients shouting

13..13..13..13..13

I wondered what the fuck was going on, the fence was too high to look over but I found a gap in it, just as I peeked through it I got poked in the eye with a sharp stick and they started shouting

14..14..14..14..14

Thread: Quick Jokes

Thread Tools

Display

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

Posting Permissions