Thread: Quick Jokes

So, you met a Western ladyboy in Thailand.

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

My next door neighbour got a pug dog as a surprise present the other day.

Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat the dog seems to like her....

Originally Posted by Maanaam

So, you met a Western ladyboy in Thailand.

No. But I have been told that if while shagging a Ladyboy you do a reach around. It is as if your cock has gone right through.

‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ generally mean the same thing – except at funerals

Originally Posted by VocalNeal

I just came back from holiday in Thailand and I was so close to shagging a lady boy!!

Looked like a lady, talked like a lady, kissed like a lady........ It was only when she drove me to her place and reversed the car into the garage in one try I thought to myself, "Hang on a fucking moment..."

Maybe a repeat but...

Originally Posted by nidhogg

‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ generally mean the same thing – except at funerals

Brilliant



Trump: "It's not a toupee, I just found the Bush that Jeb lost.

source: Donald Trump President Jokes - Donald Trump Jokes

How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan.

Why is Hillary Clinton running for President?
Because it's easier than running from Law Enforcement.

Did you hear about the 11th Commandment Hilary Clinton introduced?

Thou shall not expose thy rod to thy staff.

The other day I noticed a well endowed lady had a tattoo on her breast. Tat for tit I thought.

I got caught licking ice cream from my girlfriends breasts the other day. I don’t know who was more embarrassed me or the staff at McDonalds.

I went to the doctors today to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up

Had an overdose on Viagra last night. My wife took it really hard

Girlfriend died last night in the middle of oral. It was a bit of a blow

tolsti, I'll tell you the original joke...

A young gypsy girl knocked on my door last night.
'Have you got any old clothes to donate?'

'What's in it for me?'

'You can touch me breasts if you like?'

I thought for a second, that's not bad...Tit for tat!

Went for my yearly check up yesterday.

He stuck his finger up my arse and I thought...

Should I change dentists?

The doctor said to me "I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating".

I said "Why, is it doing me damage?".

He said "No, this is the waiting room".

Originally Posted by charleyboy

tolsti, I'll tell you the original joke...

A young gypsy girl knocked on my door last night.
'Have you got any old clothes to donate?'

'What's in it for me?'

'You can touch me breasts if you like?'

I thought for a second, that's not bad...Tit for tat!

Very good Charley.... you're older than me so you remember originals.... I only get the re-runs!

Did you hear the one about the fox who stood behind a VW Passat diesel?

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Had to have an injection in the bum recently, the nurse said "only a small prick"

"Yea yea" I said "you dont have to comment on it"

Originally Posted by nidhogg

I went to the doctors today to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up

You're the only guy I know, went for a prostate check and asked for second opinion

Originally Posted by SiLeakHunt

Originally Posted by nidhogg

I went to the doctors today to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up

You're the only guy I know, went for a prostate check and asked for second opinion

It was all good until I realized he had both hands on my shoulders......

ouch... not sure to green you or red you hogg.