I saw my friend this morning and he said, "I saw your wife the other day, she said you'd split up because of a breakdown of communication."
I replied, "What do you mean we've split up?"
I saw my friend this morning and he said, "I saw your wife the other day, she said you'd split up because of a breakdown of communication."
I replied, "What do you mean we've split up?"
The Importance of walking
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
To spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
Home at $4,000 per month.
A Kiwi Muslim was caught having sex with a sheep today.He said it was islamb and he could do what he wanted with it.
About the same as the mussies fucking ladyboys, no bad thing,it's NOT there wife or another Woman. Too stupid for words these mussies are.
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him “Vernon, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way down the freeway. Please be careful!”
“Hell” said Vernon “It’s not just one car… it’s hundreds of them!”
A Deplorable Bitter Clinger
He said "I talked to god... do you call that SCIENCE!?"
"No" I replied, "That's called schizophrenia."
The Condom
I've always been a student of history but I didn't know this.
In 1272, the Arabic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
The Condom
I've always been a student of history but I didn't know this.
In 1272, the Arabic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
Is that better?
Les Dawson
My wife ran off with the neighbour next door.
I really miss him.
Les dawson waxing lyrical:
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought ... I must put a roof on this toilet
There once was a plumber from Leigh
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea.
Said she, "Please stop plumbing,
I think someone's coming!"
Said he, "Yes, I know love, it's me.
I met this young girl from Sa Kaeo
She gobbled my cock oh so well
She was only nineteen when I filled her with cream
Oh I miss that young girl from Sa Kaeo
Great stuff is going on here - Thanks for your sharing
From that movie about Hitchcock:
There was a young girl from Kent
Who swore that she knew what it meant
When he asked her to dine
Good food, lots of wine
She knew, oh she knew - but she went.
Rabbi Smegstein saved all the foreskins he had circumcised and had them made into a wallet.
His friend Patrick was admiring it one day when the sage explained when you stroke it becomes a briefcase
I don't envy the person who will have the job of Courtroom Artist at Rolf Harris' trial. Talk about pressure.
My son went off all excited to play in the park with his new toy gun
Came back an hour later with a French tour group that had surrendered to him
Syria's President Assad referred to President Obama as weak. Obama is so angry he plans to ask Congress for permission to come up with a good comeback.
Samsung have unveiled the Galaxy Gear smart watch
Apple are preparing to sue because it's a clear rip off something they haven't made yet but might at some point....
There was a young man from nantucket
whose cock was so long he could suck it
while sucking one day he thought with dismay
if my ear was a cnut i could fuck it !
There was a Congressman named Weiner,
Who had a perverted demeanor.
Forced from the Hill, for acting like Bill,
Now Congress is one Weiner leaner.
Moral: "If you tweet your meat, you lose your seat."
My Grandad's final wish was to be buried with his childhood sweetheart and wife of 60 years.
You should have seen the old girl trying to fight her way out of that one!
Moved. Too long!
Last edited by charleyboy; 06-09-2013 at 12:30 PM.
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