Thread: Ask The Chef

Hi and welcome to the Ask the Chef thread.

If you have a genuine question about Cooking,here is your very own resident Chef(s)

Are there any other poorly paid, burger flipping Expat Chefs on the Board.? if so you have to be a trained Chef,not one of these numpty google searching toss pots that thinks he can turn his hand to anything regarding cooking,just with a quick Google search.

I haven't really posted many comments about the Abominations in some of the cookery threads,but please feel free to post link or post photo that you want reviewed.though it has to be your own cookery effort.

Any tips or advice you want please fire way.

*yawn*...

Is it a type of meat.?

^ your supposed to be the top chef

Dear Chico.


How long should i cook my Heinz baked beans in the microwave to achieve the "right" amount of heat before applying them to my testicles?

The reason i ask, the last time my pubic hair went curlier and broke off into said beans, and both sex and breakfast with the next doors dog went tits up, and i think that full power for fifteen minutes may have been a tad to long.


Whilst we're on it, is oregano on shrivelled testicles a suitable substitute for fresh mint leaves?

Barry you should remember we're all learning constantly, i was just asking Cs if he was referring to a type of meat,I never came across this Food term before.

* brawn*

I have a male corpse in my place that I've just freshly sodomised and killed and I fancy a curry, but am too bloodstained to venture out.

How would I go about locating the best cuts? spare ribs is tempting
Should I shave the hair off the arse cheeks before seasoning?



Or should I just spit roast the fat bastard?

Originally Posted by Chico

Hi and welcome to the Ask the Chef thread.

If you have a genuine question about Cooking,here is your very own resident Chef(s)

Are there any other poorly paid, burger flipping Expat Chefs on the Board.? if so you have to be a trained Chef,not one of these numpty google searching toss pots that thinks he can turn his hand to anything regarding cooking,just with a quick Google search.

I haven't really posted many comments about the Abominations in some of the cookery threads,but please feel free to post link or post photo that you want reviewed.though it has to be your own cookery effort.

Any tips or advice you want please fire way.

Fuck me, you really have tickets on yourself, don't ya?

been out mushroom picking in the forests of Kent ,returned with lots, but I have one here that I am not sure of,so I want to check to see if it's edible .
What is the internet site that you can display a plant to and it identifies it for you.

Fun Guy 3
When in doubt test on mother-in-law fly Agarics from Knatts Bottom are strong

Originally Posted by wasabi

been out mushroom picking in the forests of Kent ,returned with lots, but I have one here that I am not sure of,so I want to check to see if it's edible .
What is the internet site that you can display a plant to and it identifies it for you.

Funny you should say that was looking for a website for the same thing,never had much look in finding what i wanted. there's around 15.000 different types.

Pat Chef's wear short white jackets,not the long white ones.

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

I have a male corpse in my place that I've just freshly sodomised and killed and I fancy a curry, but am too bloodstained to venture out.

How would I go about locating the best cuts? spare ribs is tempting
Should I shave the hair off the arse cheeks before seasoning?



Or should I just spit roast the fat bastard?

Originally Posted by Chico

Originally Posted by wasabi

been out mushroom picking in the forests of Kent ,returned with lots, but I have one here that I am not sure of,so I want to check to see if it's edible .
What is the internet site that you can display a plant to and it identifies it for you.

Funny you should say that was looking for a website for the same thing,never had much look in finding what i wanted. there's around 15.000 different types.

I should have asked Dragon fly, he would have known as he always posts interesting information.

Go on. Comment on the food in the other threads, since you're the expert.

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Go on. Comment on the food in the other threads, since you're the expert.

Willy Willy Willy

You getting a bit touchy.?

As I posted in the OP,I will only comment on food that is posted by the person who cooks the food.

Don't worry I won't be insulting your photos,from past efforts.

When's some flash bastard going to post up a proper recipe?

Be first Pat show us your culinary expertise.

Originally Posted by Chico

Be first Pat show us your culinary expertise.

How about you show yours first?

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

When's some flash bastard going to post up a proper recipe?

OK, here's my offering, but be warned, it takes talent and art, not just science.

Cup of Coffee.
Place one heaped teaspoon of instant coffee into a freshly prepared mug.
Pour over very hot, but not quite boiling water.
Stir.

I recommend you don't try this unless you are completely comfortable in the kitchen.

Is that flash enough for you Pat?
Your welcome.

Well we recently had a golf pro who was about to take up a position in Chiang Mai posting while taking a sabatical from being a black female paramedic, so why not a Michelin starred chef like Chico?.

This should be a great thread .