Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
You can't tell me that's just a coincidence.
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Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
You can't tell me that's just a coincidence.
What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested custard.
Knock ! Knock ! Who's there ? Euripides. Euripides who? Euripides these knickers and you'll fucking pay for them.
So a pedophile, domestic abuser and felon walk into a bar.... Kyle Rittenhouse says : "SHOTS ARE ON ME"
Cockney Santa went to the doctor.
Yeah, he was in poor elf.
With Xmas parties happening never trust a bloke wearing a neck chain and a bracelet,
He is going to want to fuck or fight you.
I order this book called "How to Scam People Online".
It's been two months now, and it still hasn't arrived.
My ex loves bikes so much she has moved to a small town to become one.
Good One.
Del Boy and the family lived together in the flat situated in fictional Nelson Mandela House in Peckham, southeast London. The building was seen at the beginning of every episode during the title sequence
Del Boy and the family lived together in the flat situated in fictional Nelson Mandela House in Peckham, southeast London. The building was seen at the beginning of every episode during the title sequence
Breaking news from the Palace:
Queen in bed with Covid-19
Andrew in bed with Chloe-15
One shouldn't laugh.Quote:
Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
:rofl:
Do you go hot and col think about the police on the forecourt, are you sweating when putting fuel in your vehicle, are you shaking as you pay. Then you have carownervirus.
People with glasses forced to wear masks are owed condensation.
Why do some people face wear masks in the car? To prevent them from licking the windows.
Heard my mate was feeling down because he failed his Aboriginal music exam.
Was going to ask, Didijerido it, but he has gone walkabout.
A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whisky.
When the bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks,
"Where is everybody?"
The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," says the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."
"How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," answered the bartender.
Two Scousers are riding a bicycle on a road about 15 miles outside of Manchester. One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Scousers ask him for a ride. He tells them they can ride in the trailer if they could fit in with 20,000 bowling balls he is hauling.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. Wanting to make up time the trucker speeds up. Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies, "Scouse eggs."
The Blonde Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so she takes a look in the trailer. She opens the back door and shocked, quickly shuts it and locks it. She calls for immediate backup & a SWAT team. The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers.
"I stopped a Tractor-Trailer with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it. Two have hatched and they've already stolen a bicycle!".....
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled.
"I'm so wet, give it to me now!"
She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella
- "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Как называют человека, который отказывается пукнуть на публике? Частный репетитор!
Wadda you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her
“I’m going out with an English teacher, which is a bit awkward because he keeps correcting my grammar during sex he’s particularly annoyed at my improper use of the colon.”
Good One.
The missus winked at me and said "let's play Doctors and Nurses".
So I put her on a trolley in the hall and didn't speak to her for two days.
Just been thinking as I get older I only really need three shops, Dolland & Aitcheson Opticians, Boots and Greggs. That's right my life now is specs, drugs and sausage rolls.
What about the reduced section in Morrisons? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe 90