Emergency - Please Help

[stroller]

You say I'm not Asia savvy but I've never been ripped off in Asia other than paying F.A.D. (Foreigner Added Tax) on this and that.

Yet you got yourself into this situation, are panicking because you're in an Asian environment you haven't got a clue how to handle, and getting yourself worked up into a new drama by the minute, last night it was triggered by you hearing about someone who's looking for an editor, now you have another wobbly and fear for your life, about to get married but haven't got a fekking clue about marriage, asking questions like a 15 year old.

I need to know EVERYTHING. ...I doubt there's any such thing as a pre-nup here

What happened about seeing a lawyer? Why don't you inform yourself instead of speculating? Is this "adventure story" getting a bit too real by now?

- I can't go to the mall alone because I may get kidnapped.

Furking hell, get a grip, kid!

...or am I just in a kind of selfish panic?

That would be my guess.