Emergency - Please Help

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I've got engaged to her.

The way I see it (now that the initial panic is over) is that it was my decision four months ago to attempt to get to know her and break that barrier of disinterest that she protected herself with, (as a challenge more than a conquest) - and to show her not all us men were unpleasant and see if I could get her to really like me.

There were times she was extreemly difficult and childish and due to my own lack of confidence and cynicism there were times I thought I was being used or taken for a ride - hence mrsquirrels knee-jerk dennouncement of my apparent pisstake or photographic exposure on this forum. She has read most of what I posted and given me Chinese burns for a couple of my posts but perhaps she was just curious why I would be so public about my life - and my theory is that I see many of you as cyber friends and aquaintances who I can discuss this with as those with no experience of Asia would not relate to any of it and judge the obvious.

Would I really be better off returning to a life of drifting and instability, hangovers and sleeping around, worrying about my stuff getting nicked and where I will live/work next?

And yes, I am balding too and though it has been a 'slow cook' love as opposed to a rushed in head over heels thing, I will marry her probably in July - we are now engaged.

If I did a runner as mrsquirrel assumes I am cnut enough to do (an assumption which has, among other comments earned him my first red repo nomination) - then Sandra would be beaten up by her dad, maybe worse than she would if he ever found out what she was really doing in Hong Kong.

So, I am going to face this responsibility like a man instead of running away all my life. Sha may not be a soulmate, but VERY few people even meet their soulmate let alone are lucky enough to marry one.

She's a great girl, funny, a great mother to her niece, I love the way she hates her country's corruption, I love the way she feels the need to tickle me when I make her laugh and I love the way she prounounces the word scissors - 'see saws'.

I respect her family, a couple of which say I am nice but very negative and always expecting the worst.

So, I'm going to stay with her and make it the best partnership I can, I believe I can learn a lot about myself and we can make each other better people.

It is my responsibility and better than that, it now feels ok... I get the occasional wave of panic or doubt but I must get over that. I can't be 'on holiday' forever and now is as good a time as any to grow up.

Thanks for all comments, almost all of you - despite your varying opinions, most of you have advised what you believe to be best for me, and in a couple of posts 'us'.

Hope to see some of you in June when I come to Thailand when my visa runs out on the 3rd. I have to get my DVD's from Splitlid in Hua Hin, some old photos of mine from Bluecat's in Bangkok (if is wife hasn't binned them) and attend my ex girlfriend and honarary sister Noy's wedding in Samui on the 25th.

I will call Sandra every night and leave some of my most sentimental valuables so she doesn't worry that I won't return... I also intend to make it my first time in Thailand without getting laid - this is far better.