Dumb And Dumber

**dake333** · 25-11-2012, 07:48 PM

Nong Khai Province like the rest of Thailand, has it's fair share of
immigrants. Chinese,Aussies,Indians,Italians. Swedes,
Germans,Yanks.Most countries have some representatives here including,
and the most by far being, our agrophobic, chrometophobic cousins, the
Poms. Well not actually chrometophocia but more like suffering the
fear of spending money.
The Poms with such a fear of water are surpassed only with this
aversion by one on the opposite end of the scale Xerophobia, the fear
of a dry mouth. Drink piss. They can.
I'll hand them that trophy.
Otherwise a strange breed of human indeed. Long known for their
ability not be able to learn any another language, In Nong Khai you
will hear this mob often chastising a local stunner by shouting HE,
HE , HE, not SHE, SHE, SHE, when she is referring to a male,totally
oblivious
to them the word ''he'' translates in thai to err '[at][at][at][at]'.(believe me).
Invariably most wouldn't know the difference between a semi-colon and
intestinal meltdown, a complaint many of them succumb to here
ironically, are often heard here in an accent resembling English
regaling cliché's such as ''Nice day for it'', ''I think we might
have some weather'' and ''Those who can, do,Those who can't, don't'',
How fucking profound?..... Overall most will be recognized by their
stout,short,rotund,flaccid,pallid,sweaty,crimson appearance,dressed
resplendently in sandals,Bermuda shorts and a Guernsey with some cock
sucking soccer players name on the back. Why do they come here you
may be wondering, Thrift? yes, Weather? maybe Altruism? possibly.
Evading arrest? presumably, Sex? distinctly. ...Off cause the Poms
coming in a close third behind the Scots and the Jews on the solidly
squeezed sphincter scale will think nothing of motocycling 10 klms to
skull beer at 3 cents a bottle cheaper then 20 yards from their front
door, sit down and complain for 4 hours about such things as the price
of fuel, the Thai wife's only spoken English being''That fat man over
there will pay'' and ''Why don't they sack that fucking ref''....
Being a righteous,noble.intuitive, invading race of inebriates with
heredity and heraldry running through their veins they can be
identified usually by what they are stuffing into their faces,besides
vast quantities of hot lager,is what i would describe as the most
toxic of all foods, Smith crisps,Deep fried chips,Boiled in oil
cod.Fried bread, Blood sausage and more beer, and more beer.Is it no
wonder they have not won a sporting event since Sir Francis Drake
snookered a kitty at Plymouth ,but thats for another day.... (DUMBED
AND DEFEATED.)

**ShrewedPunter** · 25-11-2012, 08:47 PM

The fact that SE Asia is very cheap, women are easy is always gonna attract the dregs of society.

People who have made a success of their lives/ Or have means in the UK retire to normal places like Spain, in big villas with swimming pools.

Not just English people though, lots of scummy Germans,Swedes and Danes who lack culture.

**Kurgen** · 25-11-2012, 08:57 PM

I got bored after 5 lines but your avatar kept me entranced for ages.

**khmen** · 25-11-2012, 08:59 PM

So, basically, it took you about a thousand words to say this:

The English in Thailand are low class scumbags.

Would have been a lot easier if you'd have just said that instead of writing that poorly punctuated wall of text.

**Rural Surin** · 25-11-2012, 09:07 PM

Interesting critique....as it could easily be applied to most any resident Farang group [nationality].

Might go over real well here, as TD is famous and rife with good-standing Brits whom will surely take slight offence [with a shit-eating smirk] to any and every derogative commentary cast in their direction.

Stiff upper lip, mates.

**Rural Surin** · 25-11-2012, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by khmen

The English in Thailand are low class scumbags.

Perhaps, they are noted for such traits.
But very close behind are all the other assorted Euro/Western-types.

**ShrewedPunter** · 25-11-2012, 09:14 PM

**Rural Surin** · 25-11-2012, 09:24 PM

^
Outside of the proposed stereotypes, most resident Farang don't belong to this "60-something" retirement class.
Long, has there been an average resident age belonging to 30-50 year old staus.

**Necron99** · 25-11-2012, 09:27 PM

Caption competition?

**khmen** · 25-11-2012, 09:45 PM

^Bunch of boring old cunts sit on a wall in a shithole Thai resort town.

Not very witty I admit.

**chassamui** · 25-11-2012, 09:53 PM

I am English and agree with most of what the op said. When a race has ransacked the world and given them cricket and missionaries in return, you'd think they would be more grateful?
I believe the British government long ago made a deal with the devil. Transport all our dross to some third world shit hole and hope the cream rises to the top.
It only worked in Australia, and to some extent, in New Zealand.

**chassamui** · 25-11-2012, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by Necron99

Caption competition?

Most of the blokes in that picture are in their 70s. At least they are not wearing socks!

**Mr Lick** · 25-11-2012, 10:03 PM

The man second from left could very well be a retired public sector worker, possibly management. I make this assumption as he is well attired, dress shirt together with a better class of sandal.

The man on his left displaying the tattoo's could very well be a former merchant seaman. Scottish possibly.His choice of footwear has a lot to be desired as has his choice of upper body clothing.

The man to his left has a spinal injury and really shouldn't be wearing such a hard sole on his feet. He clearly has stopped for a rest because of this poor choice. His partner, from her expression, has probably told him on many occasion of his lack of personal care although he continues to soldier on regardless.

The man on the right really shouldn't be permitted to roam a public beachfront, well not wearing socks with sandals anyway. His lack of style in headwear again is quite prominent. Of course he may very well be a former test cricketer and if so i withdraw my comment unreservedly.

The gentleman on the left of the picture i worry about. He looks down on his luck. Those 50 baht flip flops being are a dead giveaway. Could he be contemplating a swallowdive one wonders?

**chassamui** · 25-11-2012, 10:14 PM

Originally Posted by Necron99

Caption competition?

Waiting to die...............

"Quickly" said the Thai lady.

**Mr Lick** · 25-11-2012, 10:16 PM

''Death Row''

**Troy** · 25-11-2012, 10:44 PM

I thought it was the Pattaya version of "Spot the Ball"....

**Albert Shagnastier** · 25-11-2012, 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by Rural Surin

Originally Posted by khmen

The English in Thailand are low class scumbags.

Perhaps, they are noted for such traits.
But very close behind are all the other assorted Euro/Western-types.

Yeah, but we're number one though

**Albert Shagnastier** · 25-11-2012, 11:24 PM

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

Third from the left, J.R Hartley

Been fly fishing for years the work shy reprobate

**Marmite the Dog** · 26-11-2012, 01:51 AM

Originally Posted by chassamui

I believe the British government long ago made a deal with the devil. Transport all our dross to some third world shit hole and hope the cream rises to the top. It only worked in Australia, and to some extent, in New Zealand.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure it did. Most Aussies are barely literate (just look at the piss-poor posts they make on here) so I think it must be a failed experiment.

**draco888** · 26-11-2012, 02:03 AM

Originally Posted by Rural Surin

Originally Posted by khmen

The English in Thailand are low class scumbags.

Perhaps, they are noted for such traits.
But very close behind are all the other assorted Euro/Western-types.

out of interest your country of origin is?

**withnallstoke** · 26-11-2012, 06:22 AM

The mod who changed the title should be shot.

It seemed more apt when it was "Dumb and dummer".

**peaches** · 26-11-2012, 06:50 AM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by chassamui

I believe the British government long ago made a deal with the devil. Transport all our dross to some third world shit hole and hope the cream rises to the top. It only worked in Australia, and to some extent, in New Zealand.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure it did. Most Aussies are barely literate (just look at the piss-poor posts they make on here) so I think it must be a failed experiment.

I'm profoundly disappointed at your assersion of the
fact, that Australian gentry are illiterate, or some what
limited in their vocabulary

Turning Peahes into cultured wine.

**OhOh** · 26-11-2012, 07:36 AM

Who cares where they are from. They aren't dropping bombs on anyone, ripping eyes out of anyone or boring anyone to death. Let the fuckers have a little bit of peace for christ's sake.

**MANICHAEAN** · 26-11-2012, 07:42 AM

Dear dake333

Kindly do not fall into the trap, so prevalent among those not born in that “sceptered isle set in a silver sea,” of mistaking good manners as a sign of weakness. The British are a strange race and very few foreigners can understand us. We are not Italian male fashion models lacking gravitas, nor French epicures of insubstantial origins and multiple sauces. We speak our Saxon minds and are not adverse to eating and drinking what we prefer, even if the former is covered in HP and the latter served warm.

Also it would be prudent on your part not to stereotype those you see in Thailand, for your knowledge of their character and attributes comes across as minimal. The British can be your best friend or your worst enemy, as many have discovered throughout the course of history. As for your cheap asides on us being nationally tight with money, they are rejected in their entirety.

Regards
M.

**Rural Surin** · 26-11-2012, 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by draco888

Originally Posted by Rural Surin

Originally Posted by khmen

The English in Thailand are low class scumbags.

Perhaps, they are noted for such traits.
But very close behind are all the other assorted Euro/Western-types.

out of interest your country of origin is?

Origin, huh?
Born and raised in Vietnam.

Thread: Dumb And Dumber

Thread Tools

Display

Dumb And Dumber

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

Posting Permissions