Thread: Dumb And Dumber

Nong Khai Province like the rest of Thailand, has it's fair share of
immigrants. Chinese,Aussies,Indians,Italians. Swedes,
Germans,Yanks.Most countries have some representatives here including,
and the most by far being, our agrophobic, chrometophobic cousins, the
Poms. Well not actually chrometophocia but more like suffering the
fear of spending money.
The Poms with such a fear of water are surpassed only with this
aversion by one on the opposite end of the scale Xerophobia, the fear
of a dry mouth. Drink piss. They can.
I'll hand them that trophy.
Otherwise a strange breed of human indeed. Long known for their
ability not be able to learn any another language, In Nong Khai you
will hear this mob often chastising a local stunner by shouting HE,
HE , HE, not SHE, SHE, SHE, when she is referring to a male,totally
oblivious
to them the word ''he'' translates in thai to err '[at][at][at][at]'.(believe me).
Invariably most wouldn't know the difference between a semi-colon and
intestinal meltdown, a complaint many of them succumb to here
ironically, are often heard here in an accent resembling English
regaling cliché's such as ''Nice day for it'', ''I think we might
have some weather'' and ''Those who can, do,Those who can't, don't'',
How fucking profound?..... Overall most will be recognized by their
stout,short,rotund,flaccid,pallid,sweaty,crimson appearance,dressed
resplendently in sandals,Bermuda shorts and a Guernsey with some cock
sucking soccer players name on the back. Why do they come here you
may be wondering, Thrift? yes, Weather? maybe Altruism? possibly.
Evading arrest? presumably, Sex? distinctly. ...Off cause the Poms
coming in a close third behind the Scots and the Jews on the solidly
squeezed sphincter scale will think nothing of motocycling 10 klms to
skull beer at 3 cents a bottle cheaper then 20 yards from their front
door, sit down and complain for 4 hours about such things as the price
of fuel, the Thai wife's only spoken English being''That fat man over
there will pay'' and ''Why don't they sack that fucking ref''....
Being a righteous,noble.intuitive, invading race of inebriates with
heredity and heraldry running through their veins they can be
identified usually by what they are stuffing into their faces,besides
vast quantities of hot lager,is what i would describe as the most
toxic of all foods, Smith crisps,Deep fried chips,Boiled in oil
cod.Fried bread, Blood sausage and more beer, and more beer.Is it no
wonder they have not won a sporting event since Sir Francis Drake
snookered a kitty at Plymouth ,but thats for another day.... (DUMBED
AND DEFEATED.)