Smashing things together with cataclysmic force?

Happens every night in Aberdeen pubs between bottles and foreheads. The results are amazing.

So they'll shoot these particles clockwise first, then counterclockwise. And in a few weeks they'll smash them together. Then they'll all slap each other on the back and study the collision for 20 years. In 2028 they'll come to the conclusion that a bunch of particles slammed into each other at a high rate of speed and let off some light and energy.

Thanks for funding my childrens' university and post-grad costs. Have a nice day.

When will scientists locate the G-spot?