Not a photo-shop, I am pleased to announce.
Why do I feel as though the picture might need explaining to some on here? :rolleyes:
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Not a photo-shop, I am pleased to announce.
Why do I feel as though the picture might need explaining to some on here? :rolleyes:
Death to the HatQuote:
Originally Posted by panama hat
You haven't seen Maudib and I on a good night out! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by panama hat
Good man, have a green. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Muadib
There! I have corrected your post (in red).Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorenzo
You seem to have quite a stick up your arse about Americans. Likely, a simple case of the 'haves and have nots'. To your benefit, very few travel outside the country.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
By the way, I'm forever thankful that 'few travel outside the country'.
I've got 2 septic friends, 1 of whom is gay & the other is an ex sniper for the septic government.
Both of these guys are good blokes. Neither of them rave on about anything American. Both of them have a great sense of humour.
I pity people born in septic land...the dreadful accent is almost as bad as the pitiful Australian drawl, which seems to only occur in few Australians (thank fuck).
I'll talk about the unintelligible pommie accents another day. :)
I trust all you Einsteins are familiar with the saying "People who live in glass _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _etc":chitown:
Careful, many posters here may thing you're Muslim! And, by sheer forxe of number, I win with the knuckledragger crowd behind meQuote:
Originally Posted by slackula
Al dressed up in your frocks and high heels? I'll pass, thanksQuote:
Originally Posted by slackula
Is there no limit to your deceit!?Quote:
Originally Posted by slackula
I will have to say that Senor Slackula is a gracious host and insidious while exploring the finer points of Phuket... Once you get past the patch over one eye, the animatronic leg and a slight case of tourrets, he's a helluva guy... :)
If memory serves, the only ones wearing a frock were the tarts... ;)
Worthy of its own thread, i almost missed that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonraker
What about the painful to look at skin disease . . . quite off-puttingQuote:
Originally Posted by Muadib
Calling Slackula a tart is not nice, Muadib!Quote:
Originally Posted by Muadib
Not when dealing with the likes of you, no.Quote:
Originally Posted by panama hat
I thought you hadn't noticed. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Muadib
Slackula can't even do Tourette's correctly . . . he should learn from our TD master; Terry
It's hard to say exactly how many U.S. citizens retire abroad, but the number appears to be growing. The Social Security Administration sent benefits to more than 509,000 retirees living overseas in 2008, the latest year for which such data are available. The figure has been climbing steadily every year since at least 2000, when the government sent benefits to just over 396,000 Social Security recipients in foreign countries. :kma:
Cut 'n pasted, verbatim and unattributed, from here: https://news.fidelity.com/news/artic...-in-retirementQuote:
Originally Posted by phomsanuk
Do you actually post anything that is your own thoughts and opinions, ever?? :rolleyes:
He did add the kma smiley, that could be construed as progress compared to the C&P crap he usually regurgitates on here! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by AntRobertson
Good point, well made. I suppose that a smiley of Bart Simpson dropping his pants is about as good an insight into his thoughts and opinions as we're likely to get. :)
I think this thread has proven beyond a reasonable doubt that the redcoats are the most low class pieces of trash on the planet. Now buy me a drink you fekin wank.
Or need..Quote:
Originally Posted by AntRobertson
Uh-Oh, sounds like Snubby's pizza is late again! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by bsnub
Heh...can't say it any better than the Motor City Madman!:)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
"Defiance is the DNA of America. Every fiber of my being is overdosed on high-octane defiance. I often rise in the morning convinced that I am Rosa Parks with a loud guitar. It is beautiful.
From our forefathers tossing tea into the Boston Harbor over abusive taxes; to the brave defenders of the Alamo, who were outnumbered 25-to-1; to Brig. Gen. Anthony C. McAuliffe, who answered the Nazi punks with "Nuts!" when he was asked to surrender at Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge, the DNA of America is rife with proud defiance.
We celebrate our freedom on Independence Day, but when you read Thomas Jefferson's Declaration of Independence, it could have easily been called the Declaration of Defiance."
NUGENT: The Declaration of Defiance - Washington Times
BTW Scamp...blow me...:mid:
What's the pay like, he might do??:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Boon Mee
And he might film it tooQuote:
Originally Posted by jizzybloke
The only things I have against the septics is their perpetual abuse of a perfectly good language (British English), whereby they insist upon shortening words & the completely awful accent they have.
As far as things like "What's up" is concerned, this is a black American language. Unfortunately, the rest of the world is exposed the the virus of Americanism (language & other things), which is the over-simplification of everything.
Soon, if the septics have their way, everyone will be speaking in shortened words & other unintelligible ways.
Here's a little something for you septics...it was sent to me a month ago. Since I can't seem to attach it as a text file, I will copy & paste it. It's the 'updated' version.
Quote:
Subject: A letter from the Home Office (UK) to the people of America.
To the citizens of the former United States of America;
In the light of your previous failure to elect a President of the USA with an I.Q. above 25 and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories, except Utah, which she does not fancy. Actually, no sensible person likes Utah. Her Royal Highness shall appoint a new Prime Minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disolved. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following seventeen (17) rules are introduced with immediate effect;
1. Language.
a)
You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary (the only 'real' English dictionary), then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour', 'colour' and 'neighbour'. Omitting the letter 'U' is nothing more than complete and utter laziness on your part. Similarly, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' and not omit half of the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation or spelling. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Using an English dictionary, look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "yeah" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, you won't have to use bad language as often as you currently do. Mind you, if you do actually manage to learn English, you will have earnt the right to use bad language.
b)
With immediate effect, you will begin to pronounce numbers correctly. For example, '101' will be pronounced 'one hundred AND one' and not 'one hundred one'. The word 'and' will be included in the pronunciation of all numbers above and including 101. 'One hundred one' (without 'and') are two seperate numbers - i.e. 100, 1. Omitting the word 'and' is nothing but absolute laziness.
Also, you will immediately write dates logically and in the correct format. 7/2/07 is NOT the 2nd of July - it is the 7th of February. Your error is understandable since you all seem to write words and sentences in the same way that you say them. Completing this incredibly simple task will mean the end of vast confusion for the rest of the world.
c)
The Glutius Maximus muscles, otherwise known as the 'arse', 'bum', 'bottom', 'buttocks', 'backside' or 'posterior', will no longer be called 'ass'. An 'ass' is a small horse and must not be confused with the 'arse'. To correctly pronounce 'arse', pretend you are with your doctor having your weekly diabetes/coronary/cancer/obesity/mental health checkup. When the doctor says "say 'ah'", simple say the 'a' as in 'father' & do not pronounce the 'r' sound. Consider this your first free lesson in correct English. Initially, Australian English Teachers will be provided free of charge, to teach all Americans correct 'Queens English'. At the same time, you will be taught Australian idioma for free. Please understand that Australia is the only country in the world that speaks the 'Queens English' unilaterally & therefore without noticeable differences in accents throughout Australia, unlike other English speaking countries where the accents differ greatly between states/counties/provinces etc.
d)
American females, particularly prepubescent and pubescent girls, will be fined every time they incorrectly use the word 'like'. The revenue of said fines shall be used to subsidise Vietnam with their war compensation as promised by your former administrations.
e)
There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft 'spell-checker' (which shall be hereby called a 'spelling checker'), will be adjusted to now take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize". Microsoft will also have dictionaries (spelling checkers) renamed as follows;
1) 'American English' shall be renamed to 'American'.
2) 'British English' shall be renamed to 'English'.
3) 'Australian English' shall be renamed to 'English'.
f)
You should learn to distinguish between the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that difficult. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in 'Frasier'). Australian accents are not limited to Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee) & the late Steve Irwin. You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
g)
The English dictionary meaning of the words 'idiot', 'moron', 'fool' & 'stupid' shall include a reference to the former American President, George W. Bush.
h)
The English dictionary meaning of the words 'travesty' and 'injustice' shall include a reference to the American invasion of Iraq. E.g. 1-"The war in Iraq was a travesty of democracy and justice". 2-"The war in Iraq was an injustice to it's people".
i)
We find the word 'shart' amusing and appropriate. It shall now be included as modern English slang, this being the only positive, informative and logical inclusion to appropriate English slang that you Americans have ever produced. (For those who don't know, a 'shart' is when someone attempts to fart and does so but some 'shit' is also released).
j)
The meaning of the word 'patriot' should discern between someone who simply 'flies a flag' and someone who actually does something for their country. 'Flag flying' is doing nothing compared to getting off your 'arse' and actually doing something. (Please note - it is not getting 'off of' your arse).
k)
You will no longer be permitted to use 'God bless...'. According to the Bible, God blesses everybody so there is no need to continue this religious rhetoric.
l)
Mathematics shall no longer be shortened to 'math'. Are you doing mathematics or a mathematic? Since you are doing 'mathematics', the shortened version of the word will be pronounced correctly, which is 'maths'.
m)
As penance for buying the Philippines for $40 000 000.00 (this is forty million dollars in Metric), you will provide all Philippinos with free English lessons but only after you have learnt to read, write & spell the Queens English correctly. You will ensure that all English errors currently performed by Philippinos, are corrected to the satisfaction of true Native English Speakers (British or Australian).
n)
From this moment on, the following words & phrases will not be used in pornographic movies:
1) "Oh yeah baby".
2) "Yeah baby".
3) "Oh yeah".
4) "Yeah".
5) "You like that, don't you".
As a matter of fact, you will not be permitted to utter a single word in porno movies until you master the English language.
o)
The phrase "What's up?" will be reinstated to it's former meaning of "What's wrong?" & will not to be used as a synonym for "Hello".
p)
The words "this" & "that" will be pronounced correctly instead of "dis" & "dat". This will prevent huge illiteracy problems for the rest of the world.
q)
The word "dude" shall be stricken from your vocabulary until you learn it's true meaning.
2. Media and Entertainment.
a)
Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
b)
The newly instated government shall allow public radio transmissions from public Mexican radio stations or any other public radio transmissions, since your previous government 'blocked' these radio transmissions.
c)
The Al Jazeera network shall be permitted to conduct operations in America without hindrance.
d)
The newly instated government shall in no way block, limit or censor any public media unlike your former government, which is why only 2.15% of you know that other people/countries actually exist outside of your bounderies.
Hopefully, these adjustments should increase the number of 'informed' people from 2.15% to at least 80%.
e)
From now on, you will say 'goodbye' (or words to that affect) at the end of all telephone conversations. You will no longer be permitted to simply 'hang-up' without saying any form of 'goodbye'.
f)
Certain types of television programs shall be banned due to their stupidity & also due to the fact that such idiotic shows unnecessarily consume electricity & thus create unnecessary 'green house' gases;
1) Jerry Springer.
2) Oprah Winfrey.
3) Dr. Phil.
4) CNN.
5) That show by that Rafael woman.
6) David Letterman.
7) Anything on the Fox network.
8) Any show/program that is in the least way similar to any of the above.
g)
The following shows/programs shall be broadcast on all radio & television nationwide across America;
Current Affairs (international);
1) SBS (Australia - especially 'Dateline').
2) The ABC's (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) 'Lateline'.
3) 'A Current Affair' (just to show you the inane American side of Australian T.V.).
4) 'John Laws - Keepng the dream alive', just to show you the true meaning of 'bigot' & 'narrow mindedness'.
Comedy;
1) The Vicar of Dibley (British).
2) Keeping Up Appearences (British - old but very good).
3) Australian Parliament's 'Question Time' (there are no 'answers').
4) The Einstein Factor (an amusing but intellectual quiz show).
Educational;
1) Humphrey B. Bear.
2) Playschool.
3) Lunigs' cartoons.
4) The New Inventors.
Adventure/Action;
No programs as such are currently permitted until you have proven that you can deal with personal issues without the use of guns, therapists or lawyers.
Science Fiction;
See 'Adventure/Action' above.
Drama;
The only approved programs for American audiences are 'Days of our lives' and 'The Bold and the Beautiful'. The reason is that these shows are so unbelievably stupid & boring that they could not possibly add to your current level of global numbness/stupidity. Feel free to rename 'The Bold and the Beautiful' to 'The Bold and the Incedibly Boring/Stupid'.
3. Nationalism & Religion.
a)
You should re-learn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen" but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up halfway through. Please note that 'God save...' is not the same as 'God bless...'.
b)
Since you previously saw yourselves as the 'sheriff' of the world, you will now admit that nationalism (check the English dictionary for the meaning) is bad. As history has told you and many others, Adolf Hitler was a 'nationalist'. You, with the help of the newly instated government, will now set a standard for the world and denounce 'nationalism'.
c)
See also 1. j).
d)
Any & all religious programs shall not be transmitted by television, radio or electronic methods. What happened in Spain under Franco?
4. Previous and current conflicts.
a)
The newly instated government will publicly announce that the Vietnam War was lost by the American government, against a foe who used confiscated/found weapons, 'teamwork' and ingenuity. Why was this lesson not learnt prior to the invasion of Iraq (or other invaded countries)? The newly instated government realises that historically, a 'people with a purpose' has NEVER been defeated by any army etc and America will not, therefore, summarily invade countries for 'trumped up' reasons (ie WMD's in Iraq).
b)
The newly instated government will pay back to the Vietnamese government, all 'promised' monies by the former American administrations, for war dammages that directly relate to the use of 'Agent Orange' in Vietnam. Furthermore, the American people will pay additional tax to allow for this 'promised' compensation. Let this be a lesson to you all for endorsing 'control freaks' in your former administrations.
c)
America will no longer militarily support Israel.
d)
America will acknowledge and accept that Israel occupies Palestine and America will no longer support the Israeli occupation.
e)
America will acknowledge the rights, wishes and freedom of all religions and their people, according to the American constitution, otherwise the constitution shall be re-written to ensure the religious rights, freedoms and wishes of the said people.
f)
America will formally apologise to presumed targeted religions so as not to further antagonise them, the failure of which has certainly fuelled global terrorism.
g)
America will no longer interfere with the affairs of other countries unless invited by said countries.
h)
America will foster peaceful, sympathetic and empathetic relations with people of all religions, races and creeds. Generally, America will no longer be fearful of things it doesn't know about or understand. Instead of waging war against the non-understood thing, America shall now ask questions and promote dialog instead of shooting first.
i)
America shall no longer treat 'non-white' people as second class citizens. Such treatment on said citizens will be punishable by exile to Australia, where the exiled persons will no doubt learn all about 'multi-culturalism'.(The bigotted and narrow minded comments of John Laws & the like, shall be explained to the exiled person(s) so that they can understand all about angry, nasty and vindictive 'segregation' of society).
5. Sport.
You shall stop playing American "football".
There are four kinds of football - Rugby Union, Rugby League, Soccer and Australian Rules. What you refer to as "football" is a boring game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it and should instead play one of the abovementioned 'proper' football games. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. Any of the 'proper' football games are difficult to play. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play Australian Rules, which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies. We are hoping to get together at least a US Aussie Rules side by 2012.
6. History.
You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde, before all of your weapons are dismantled. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "Shit".
Also, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or publicly carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. Public Holidays.
a)
The 4th of July is no longer a public holiday. The 2nd of November will be a new national holiday but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day". (Please note the correct pronunciation of the dates).
b)
The 11th of September (said 'eleven nine') shall hereby be declared a public holiday in memorium to all those who died in the 'Twin Towers' incident & also in memorium to all those who died in the ensuing Iraq war as a result of a war mongering president who wanted oil more than justice. Also, on this day, all oil powered vehicles shall not operate to affirm the unjust invasion of Iraq, which should assist in thwarting oil funded terrorism & to reduce the tremendous amount of greenhouse gases America creates.
c)
All Americans who work (in America) on a public holiday, shall be payed triple time.
8. Health Insurance.
In light of the huge mistakes that England and Australia have made by privatising their public health systems, the incedibly overpriced American health system shall be totally de-privatised, thus allowing ALL people equal and reasonable access to it. This should have a positive affect with respect to 'global warming' as less health insurance executives will be destroying our atmosphere by not travelling around in those Lear Jets and 'James Bond' yachts.
All of you should thank Mr Obahma for legislating public health care. You are starting to catch up with the rest of the world...ever so slowly.
9. Transport.
All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you Japanese cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left-hand-side of the road with immediate effect. At the same time, you will commence using the Metric system and without the benefit of conversion tables. US gallons etc shall be stricken from all documentation. Roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British/Australian sense of humour.
10. Food.
a)
You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things in plastic packets that you insist upon calling potato chips, are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is vinegar.
b)
'Macdonalds' and the like, shall no longer be called restaurants. Restaurants are places where one can buy 'real' food that tastes good...or have you forgotten what 'real' food is? Further, MacDonalds and the like, shall no longer exploit Brasilian or any other rainforests in it's quest for beef. As a matter of fact, Macdonalds and similar 'fast food' outlets, are hereby totally banned. All Americans will be forced to eat 'real' food. This shall include plenty of green vegetables and fresh home grown meat. Since America is the fattest nation in the world, children will not be allowed to eat anything other than naturally grown products. Also, America will set a new world standard by no longer using pesticides, herbicides & other 'cides', in the production of vegetables. Hormones & the like shall not be used in the production of any meat. Antibiotics shall not be added to perfectly natural & already perfect honey. The use of preservatives in any food is hereby totally banned. Genetically modified products are also hereby banned from being produced. Obviously, this will have an impact on certain shareholdings, so to offset the economic loss, a huge reduction in health care expenditure should be apparent as the nations health improves. Soon, you will be able to congratulate yourselves on setting a sensible, peaceful & 'green' standard for the rest of the world.
11. Tea.
As a sign of penance, 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. Alcohol.
The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. Actually, it's not even lager...it's like having sex in a canoe (fucking close to water). From November 1st, only proper British Bitter and Australian Ales will be referred to as "beer". European and Australian brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company, which will be referred to as "Weak, Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
Only Australian brews shall be served cold as this is traditionally done because of the 'bloody hot' climate in Australia. English brew shall be served as it traditionally requires.
That vaguely red and alcoholic substance, to which you refer as being wine, will hereby be renamed as 'nasty red drink not suitable for human consumption' (with the exception of a very few Californian 'Reds'). You will only be allowed to call such things as 'wine' when you learn how to grow grapes, make wine and appreciate the subtle differences between each variety of grape. You will also be required to eat grapes as a part of your new 'healthy' diet.
13. Petroleum.
From December 1st the UK & Australia will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2012, afterwhich it shall be correctly called 'Petrol' or Petroleum) prices with the former USA. The UK & Australia will harmonise their prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK & Australian petrol prices (roughly $7/US gallon - get used to it).
14. Guns, Litigation and 'common sense' (or the lack thereof).
a)
You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
b)
The current constitution shall be re-written so as to preclude the inference "...all Americans have the right to bear arms...". The only arms that you are allowed to bear are the arms with which you were born. To the contrary, the constitution shall be re-written to infer that "...all Americans shall uphold peace and goodwill to all other humans, disregarding their religion, race or creed. No American shall use arms (weapons) against any person for any reason".
Since you are currently very enthusiastic about following your constitution, there should be no problem in continuing your enthusiasm in this new vain.
15. Global warming & Energy.
With immediate effect, you will realise and accept the 'man made' phenomena called 'global warming', for which you, as a country, are largely responsible. The newly instated government will immediately implement the following;
a)
All vehicles known as SUV's with engine capacities of greater than 2.5 Litres (note the spelling of 'Litres') will no longer be available for sale.
b)
'Hummers' are banned. They are ugly and take up too much space on the road, as well as being 'gas guzzlers'. (See point 9).
c)
As a matter of fact, no private passenger vehicle in America shall have an engine capacity of greater than 3.0 Litres
(excluding diesel powered buses/trucks, which shall be limited to a maximum 6.0 Litre capacity).
d)
'Blowing it out 'of' your arse' will no longer be permitted as this greatly contributes to the Green House effect. Please note the inclusion of the word 'of' and the spelling of the word 'arse' (as opposed to the totally incorrect spelling - 'ass').
e)
A maximum of two (2) motor vehicles per household shall apply, providing the household has no more than 4 people who actually live there.
f)
Since you think that you are the worlds 'sheriff', you will set an example to other countries and immediately adhere to the Kyoto Protocol.
g)
The military, which obviously creates significant 'green house' gases, shall be reduced to one quarter of it's current size.
The further effect of this will be to increase world peace & reduce the government deficit. This,in turn, will provide more money for much needed literacy & numeracy education, as well as assisting with the introduction of the new de-privatised health system.
h)
Nuclear energy in any way, shape or form, shall not be used to generate any form of power or create weapons.
16. Travel.
a)
Any American who has a voice level of greater than 40 decibels will not be permitted to travel outside of America so as not to annoy other people. For an initial 12 month period, all Americans who fail this test shall be given free 'voice volume control' (VVC) tuition to reduce their voice level to an acceptable level, afterwhich an hourly rate for tuition shall apply.
17. Conspiracies.
Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
18. Weights & Measures.
All Americans will immediately cease using the confusing, outdated & outmoded American system of weights & measures. Instead, you will immediately embrace & use the wonderfully simple & modern Metric system. Engineers around the world will thank you.
19. Electricity.
Within the next 6 months, America will have a European electrical system, like 90% of the rest of the world. Your supply frequency & voltage will respectively be 50Hz & 230 volts.
You will not use such words as 'ampacity' & 'capacitorisation'. Use the English dictionary to find the correct words.
You will no longer say 'grounding'. Instead, you will say 'Earthing'.
The rest of the world welcomes you as a fledgling country.
^
Waaay too long to read. My only personal beef with Brits is yáll got to Thailand before us & thus screwed-up the driving arrangement. Left-hand side of the road and steering wheel on the right - mai dee luey!:rolleyes:
What about attaching a file? 'Help' tells me nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EssEffBee
Whilst I agree with you that the American accent is often extremely annoying, a far larger proportion of the UK mangle English far more.Quote:
Originally Posted by EssEffBee
Trot off to your village now sfb. Insular buffoon.
Therefore it is about time for the world to adopt Strine (Australian) English. Thankfully we have no regional variations in accent, nor do we have that nasally disease . . .Quote:
Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
First lessons:
G'day luv, ew r yez? Good afternoon madam, how are you?
Yee, orroit. Very well, thank you
Wanna root? Would you care to partake in intercourse?
'kin oath. That would be delightful.
Important to remember. The plural of 'you' is 'youse', but 'youse' can also be used for one person, singular, op cit first lesson part one.