Thread: Live and learn - 1 year in Thailand

Well it's been a year since I made the move. So far so good, I've made a list of some of the things I've learned from my experiences that will make my life smooth and prevent me from going on 'Thai-tilt', like we've seen with some posters here, where the bitterness and eventually insanity takes over. I'd like to hear some rules of thumb from some posters who've been here a while and haven't gone mad. OK you're all a bit loopy, but it seems this place can really play havoc with weak minds.




Don't have an alcho tuk tuk driver as your go to guy

Don't get too friendly with people you're employing for a service, they'll just use it against you. Be anal about checking any work and generally act like a boss

There's a time and place for haggling, that does not include 7/11 or the bus ticket counter

Hot water is for pussies

Motorbikes are dangerous

The shoulder is a complex muscle and smashing your arm out of it's socket is painful

A little Thai goes a long way, just make sure you let them know, or they'll think you're speaking English and won't tune in

To break the ice with Thai men, open with something racist, sexist or self-depreciating, and know the names of at least 4 players from each of the 4 major premier league teams

Betting with a Thai means if you lose you pay, if you win you get shafted

Find a balance between avoiding conflict and being assertive enough to not get walked over

You can take the piss, as long as it's out of yourself, your country or something non-Thai. Paying out anything Thai is reserved for Thais only, paying out farangs is a free for all

Don't laugh and scoff about matters of spirituality, such as the colour and delivery date of a car. The spirits houses are not a joke

Sarcasm isn't funny

A Katoey, a midget half-wit and a cranky hi-so woman bickering in a corner store is hilarious

Asking a dodgy expat where he met his wife goes down worse than asking him how he makes a living

Choose your expat friends carefully, no need to befriend someone you wouldn't give the time of day back home just because you're both farangs

Ice in beer is the go, refreshing and stops hangovers. Sang Som is cheap and effective, again, lots of ice.

Money talks, good whisky screams

^Good observations.
I've been here nearly 6 years now.
The only thing I sure of is that I'm not sure of anything....exactly.
I pretty sure of most things generally except everything now has a good bit more wiggle room.
It's the understanding of how the earth is constantly moving and we're just a very small part of it.

Probably the biggest culture shock for me has been how cheap life is. Seeing dead bodies on the news and even a few in real life, seeing how some people live and the risks they take to get by, reminds me that we are indeed very small.

Nice op, good observations, totally agree re: choose farang friends carefully

You put your happy pants on this morning KW?

Some very well made points. I've found that you can take the piss out of Thai's to their faces, but time and place are important.

Originally Posted by Wayne Kerr

most things to do with government usually take about 3.141593 times longer compared with that back home, unless of course a bottle of black label was involved

Can apply that to every day tasks with the missus, replace the black label with som tum. Another good reason to learn to speak Thai properly, not having to rely on the missus acting as translator for every little thing and take so fokn long.

Originally Posted by 9999

... Find a balance between avoiding conflict and being assertive enough to not get walked over
... Sarcasm isn't funny ... Choose your expat friends carefully,

I like the rules, the above three are especially good. The third one took a while for me to learn. Now, I rarely waste my time befriending other ex-pats, especially the ones who talk about their sex lives all of the time. It becomes dreadfully boring and they usually end up being a lot creepier than first appearances.

Definately helps having this forum, I can learn from all you guys fuck-ups. Seriously though, to all the posters here, cheers for making it easy. Must have been tough before the internet where you had to learn everything the hard way.

Originally Posted by 9999

Definately helps having this forum, I can learn from all you guys fuck-ups. Seriously though, to all the posters here, cheers for making it easy. Must have been tough before the internet where you had to learn everything the hard way.

Before the internet we just sat in the pubs talking

Originally Posted by 9999

Choose your expat friends carefully

I think when you go anywhere new and you don't know anyone the locals who want to speak to you and get to know you are probably the ones to avoid. The people worth knowing probably have no interest in actively expanding their circle of friends as they already have a full life, it's up to you to make the effort, not them.

^ Definitively agree. An other good reason to learn Thai. People who have no interest in fleecing foreigners have little incentive to learn English.

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Before the internet we just sat in the pubs talking

Ha, could you imagine all the TD posters in the same pub at the same time? People melting down all over the place

Originally Posted by BigRed

Originally Posted by 9999

Choose your expat friends carefully

I think when you go anywhere new and you don't know anyone the locals who want to speak to you and get to know you are probably the ones to avoid. The people worth knowing probably have no interest in actively expanding their circle of friends as they already have a full life, it's up to you to make the effort, not them.

Originally Posted by Perota

^ Definitively agree. An other good reason to learn Thai. People who have no interest in fleecing foreigners have little incentive to learn English.

Yep, sit down and have 1 beer with some random friendly fella and he wants to be your mate for life, buy em a beer and it could take weeks to shake em off. I've experienced this with farang and (english speaking) Thais. Actually, it's been the same when I've moved cities back home so yeah, wherever you go.

Be very selective about giving out your cell phone number or e-mail address. I still get weird text messages and e-mails from people I haven't seen in years, but who have my numbers from back before I learned the rule.

Don't invest anything of worth (to you) in Thailand when other options are available.

Go slowwwly in your life here.

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Be very selective about giving out your cell phone number or e-mail address. I still get weird text messages and e-mails from people I haven't seen in years, but who have my numbers from back before I learned the rule.

Too right. I'm on my 4th phone number now. I'm too friendly of a drunk.

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

Don't invest anything of worth (to you) in Thailand

The first thing an old mate of mine who's been here years told me; 'don't put into Thailand what you're not prepared to lose'.

Originally Posted by 9999

A little Thai goes a long way, just make sure you let them know, or they'll think you're speaking English and won't tune in

Very true, but not just in Thailand I lived in Spain four years before the local bread supplier to my business realised I wasn't French, I would say sel a vie or something but I can't speak frog

Originally Posted by 9999

Ha, could you imagine all the TD posters in the same pub at the same time? People melting down all over the place

Done that a few times, but that was when there was only about 20 of us. We'd need to hire out a large beer garden out for the night if we were to do it now.

Originally Posted by 9999

Must have been tough before the internet where you had to learn everything the hard way.

You'll have to ask Klongy.

Originally Posted by 9999

'don't put into Thailand what you're not prepared to lose'.

that is probably true for many investment these days

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Thai girls don't swallow

Nonsense.

Ever thought about washing your knob?

^^ even been fishing in Thailand mate, you may enjoy that