Live and learn - 1 year in Thailand

**the dogcatcher** · 31-01-2010, 05:12 PM

Of course. I wash it once a year, whether it needs it or not.

**Marmite the Dog** · 31-01-2010, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Of course. I wash it once a year, whether it needs it or not.

Hmm... maybe you're just not paying them enough?

**StrontiumDog** · 31-01-2010, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Thai girls don't swallow

Nonsense.

Ever thought about washing your knob?

Indeed, I've certainly known many who did! And bloody good it's been too.

**the dogcatcher** · 01-02-2010, 02:20 PM

I jest.
Found a cracker in Udon at christmas.
Licked the old man clean afterwards as well.

**Thaihome** · 01-02-2010, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

...A hi so expensive golf course will always have plastic bags on it, and you always need to over club here, by at least one.

You over club at my course you are in deep shit.

Also, no plastic bags anywhere, except the one in cart for the empty beer bottles.

TH

**the dogcatcher** · 01-02-2010, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by Thaihome

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

...A hi so expensive golf course will always have plastic bags on it, and you always need to over club here, by at least one.

You over club at my course you are in deep shit.

Also, no plastic bags anywhere, except the one in cart for the empty beer bottles.

TH

Where's your club.
I have to over club here. I find I don't get the same distances as I do in England.

**Loy Toy** · 01-02-2010, 02:56 PM

Well presented and educational OP mate and worth abiding by no matter how long one has been here.

I might add don't use the same excuses over and over again when you get home late with cuts and bruises.

Accidently tripping over a crate of Heineken when you were leaving the pub wears thin after a while and even when in an indirect way it is the truth.

**Smug Farang Bore** · 01-02-2010, 06:18 PM

Lifes rich tapestry rocks up here in Thailand. Watch who you buy drinks for as you might get stuck with them.

Nice OP.

**Chairman Mao** · 01-02-2010, 06:31 PM

Sit back, enjoy the show. It's a good one.

**Marmite the Dog** · 01-02-2010, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore

Watch who you buy drinks for

Eh? You buy strangers drinks? Very odd.

**dirtydog** · 01-02-2010, 06:46 PM

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Found a cracker in Udon at christmas. Licked the old man clean afterwards as well.

Not so sure about sharing girls with your father, still I'm sure he enjoyed it.

**DJ Pat** · 01-02-2010, 07:58 PM

And remember that whatever they say or protest, Thai girls are never 'single'.

**Smug Farang Bore** · 01-02-2010, 10:06 PM

Marmite I've brought you one mate. Actually more than one.

**roadking96cube** · 02-02-2010, 08:05 PM

i'll keep those rules in the back of my mind.probably come in handy one day!

**Marmite the Dog** · 02-02-2010, 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore

Marmite I've brought you one mate. Actually more than one.

That was rather silly of you.

**grasshopper** · 03-02-2010, 08:10 AM

Good original post. Some of the follow up makes you wonder why they are here, or should I say "there". Sob!

No matter, I'll return soon enough. Cant wait to undergo all the travels/travails again.

**thairanat** · 03-02-2010, 09:31 AM

Never learn the language....you'll save a fortune on tea money tickets

Never drive a car in thailand.....any accident ...the falang always pays......

Never ride a motorbike without a helmet...(see above)

You will have thai friends only as long as you pay...

Never lend money to any falang......

Never wai anybody....the locals look at you like a forkin' idiot......

Always use 'Open Dns' or something similar on the 'net....

**9999** · 03-02-2010, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by thairanat

Never learn the language....you'll save a fortune on tea money tickets

One of my few good mates over here told me to play the tourist to the cops and don't speak Thai with them. Also because you're much more likely to be suspected of being involved in something dody if you speak fluent Thai, and could be searched or questioned.

I gotta say though I regularly break all your other rules, except lend money. But that's more a life rule in general, don't lend money to anyone.

I just bought a car for my missus...

My helmet is too small and never got around to getting a big one...

A couple of times my Thai 'friends' have got the bill, but I'm definately in front...

I don't lend money. Australia taught me that...

I don't wai often, just to my missus' parents or if I meet someone old...

There's more sophisticated ways than open DNS...

**Camel Toe** · 03-02-2010, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by Perota

^ Definitively agree. An other good reason to learn Thai. People who have no interest in fleecing foreigners have little incentive to learn English.

My rule is the better they speak the less time I have for them. Imagine what you'd be left with if you couldn't speak Thai .. (mostly) pissheads, Christians, over-sexed middle-aged men who will end a conversation by turning his back on you whenever a skirt passes by, and hustlers.

**the dogcatcher** · 03-02-2010, 04:43 PM

The teaks only speak good English so they can rob you more effectively.
It still amuses me that the prossies speak better English than the Thai English teachers.
Think I'll barfine one to teacher the kids.

**tsicar** · 03-02-2010, 11:29 PM

Originally Posted by Camel Toe

Originally Posted by Perota

^ Definitively agree. An other good reason to learn Thai. People who have no interest in fleecing foreigners have little incentive to learn English.

My rule is the better they speak the less time I have for them. Imagine what you'd be left with if you couldn't speak Thai .. (mostly) pissheads, Christians, over-sexed middle-aged men who will end a conversation by turning his back on you whenever a skirt passes by, and hustlers.

DEFINITELY a good idea to steer clear of thai women who can speak english, unless you know for sure they learned it at university....

and i DON'T mean the one the thais joke about:

the "UNIVERSITY OF PATTAYA"!!
.
.
.

**Beadle** · 04-02-2010, 12:34 AM

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Despite what the guide books say real Thai food is garbage.

Real Thai food is delicious.

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Drinks measures are stindgy

Not in the bars I drink in!

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 04-02-2010, 01:33 AM

Most of the population are blinded by greed.

**thairanat** · 04-02-2010, 04:19 AM

Issan food is a giant step above thai food.

**Camel Toe** · 04-02-2010, 05:12 AM

I'm still confused somewhat about the Thai lie. Some of it has to be in their shyness or face-saving devices to offer an answer and not to say, I don't know.

Also what you see as a lie might not fit their conception of lying. Although I love to rank on Thais the fact remains extra-cultures can only judge by their standards, but only a Thai is qualified to judge his own.

Just look how lenient investigating law enforcement seems to be after the guy confesses and makes everyone's job easier. The truth has to have some merit to Thais.

There are so many non-natural behavioral features a farang must remember it almost makes your existence in Thailand the thought of the day as you awake.

I've offended hundreds and hundreds have offended me. It got to where I mostly stayed home. Thailand is for Thais, at least it is if you happen to carry a strong sense of justice and fair play. I got tired of faking it. I can't live with not having my say.

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