I rang a Thai friend to ask her to translate to the moto driver that I would like to go to the nearest Siam Commercial Bank.

He was on the phone nearly five minutes.

I worked out that if you took out all the "Khraps" and probable "Ka's" on the her end, you'd get the conversation down to three minutes.

That still leaves three minutes, and even the worlds most complicated language wouldn't take three minutes to translate 'He wants to go to the nearest SCB'.

This is a mystery of their daft language that I have yet to solve.