Thread: Punishment for your children

I don't have any kids so I have to hit other peoples kids.

My ex-gf has a 6-yo girl. She is great fun but can be very cheeky and obstinate and naughty.

They come and stay sometimes and one time I was showing her the pool water chemicals changing colour in the test tube and she smacked it out of my hand with no warning. I just smacked her on the arse where she was standing and told her not to be stupid. She took it quite well and did not cry. I think she was just testing me.

I am not sure if I passed or failed.

ivs spanked mine when warranted, slap on the bumb; shes 5 and good as gold really, maybe because of the spamking?

Originally Posted by ltnt

So you remained a member of the house?

yes, he realised it was too late to control me, and I was in the middle of my studies

Originally Posted by somtamslap

As far as punishment goes I was speaking on the phone to my mum a few days back and mentioned to her that I'd given my youngest a wallop to the backside - she said I'd have the child protection people round if I'd done that it blighty - madness.

Its true that. I know someone who gave their 9 year old son a slap before school and when he got to school he was still in tears and the Social services were round their house within the hour.
Not a bad thing though IMO, when you see the amount of child abuse that does occur.

as for me, i never have had to hit my kids really, a very rare smack on the arse sometimes, but mainly they know to behave when they hear the change of tone in my voice

Originally Posted by reinvented

its short and sharp when she's been told multiple times

that is the point when she is made to sit on the "naughty chair"

it does make her realise that she has done something wrong, although she sometimes tries to throw the chair around the room! she then just has to sit back down

Originally Posted by Dillinger

I know someone who gave their 9 year old son a slap before school and when he got to school he was still in tears and the Social services were round their house within the hour.

I suppose that is a good thing if it was a case of serious abuse; problem is, the SS often are too overworked too pick up on some serious stuff

depends on the area maybe

Originally Posted by DrAndy

kids do have some logic, can understand when and why they are being bad, so it is possible to talk to them when the time is right

And what when they refuse to listen?

You can't just apply the same ideals to all kids as they are all different. Even kids in the same environment, with the same parents using the same approach to parenting can be very different from each other.

It's very naive to think all kids will just sit down and listen. Some will just use it as a way to see just how much they can get away with and when that happens they need to be shown exactly where the line is.

My dad was very physical with my brothers and I. Him and I actually had a fist fight when I was about 17 (I probably deserved it).

I have lost control of my emotions with my 13-year old daughter and have slapped her twice on the head. This was not the way I had imagined raising a child.

Now, I simply take away her toys. No time limit.

Currently, she has not had her I-Phone for the past month...

Originally Posted by Dillinger

I know someone who gave their 9 year old son a slap before school and when he got to school he was still in tears and the Social services were round their house within the hour.

I had those kunts on my case for taking my step daughter (14) to school when she wanted to stay in bed because she had a hangover. I hadn't laid a finger on her and I explained when she was 15 minutes late at the school office. A short while later my missus got a phone call from the useless pricks. 6 months later we were separated as I couldn't live in a situation like that with a bunch of interfering wankers waiting in the wings to do as much damage as they could.

Originally Posted by hillbilly

I have lost control of my emotions with my 13-year old daughter and have slapped her twice on the head. This was not the way I had imagined raising a child.

I think that is normal for most parents, but the slap isn't really a punishment for the kid, more a letting out of the parents anger

raising a kid can be very stressful

Originally Posted by Moonraker

Originally Posted by DrAndy

kids do have some logic, can understand when and why they are being bad, so it is possible to talk to them when the time is right

And what when they refuse to listen?

You can't just apply the same ideals to all kids as they are all different. Even kids in the same environment, with the same parents using the same approach to parenting can be very different from each other.

It's very naive to think all kids will just sit down and listen. Some will just use it as a way to see just how much they can get away with and when that happens they need to be shown exactly where the line is.

I did say talk to them when the time is right, not immediately when both parties are angry

and of course all kids are different, but that does not mean they would not respond to care and attention instead of violence

and yes, they need to know where the line is, not between being told off and being slapped, but between what is acceptable and what is not

I'm not preaching here, and I have slapped my kids from my first marriage, but I hope I have learnt some better ways

Originally Posted by DrAndy

raising a kid can be very stressful

Just a tad.

Originally Posted by DrAndy

Originally Posted by Moonraker

Originally Posted by DrAndy

kids do have some logic, can understand when and why they are being bad, so it is possible to talk to them when the time is right

And what when they refuse to listen?

You can't just apply the same ideals to all kids as they are all different. Even kids in the same environment, with the same parents using the same approach to parenting can be very different from each other.

It's very naive to think all kids will just sit down and listen. Some will just use it as a way to see just how much they can get away with and when that happens they need to be shown exactly where the line is.

I did say talk to them when the time is right, not immediately when both parties are angry

and of course all kids are different, but that does not mean they would not respond to care and attention instead of violence

and yes, they need to know where the line is, not between being told off and being slapped, but between what is acceptable and what is not

I'm not preaching here, and I have slapped my kids from my first marriage, but I hope I have learnt some better ways

My point stands. What if they choose not to listen?

Originally Posted by Koojo

Then it occured to me, do I have the right to order him to do these things, it's not as if he's my personal slave, but then on the other hand he has to learn to pitch in and help when needed.

quite , and everything will continue to be delivered sans effort for the term of his natural life

not.

My wife runs the household and I have been complimented on a number of occasions about how well behaved my kids are.

Although I always try to take credit where it ain't due I have to admit my kid's are a product of my wife's discipline and I have never seen her raise a hand to any of our children.

I normally have problems keeping myself in order.

Originally Posted by Moonraker

The occasional slap on the ass.

My little girl is very bright and likes to see just how far she can push things. Once she starts pushing beyond reason then there is little else left to do............

Or at least that used to be the case, I can't remember the last time I had to slap her. It seem she has learned just where the line is and not to cross it.

That about sums it up for me. I can't remember the last time I smacked my 5 year old. That for me is the whole point. You want to get your kids to the point where they don't need to be smacked because they are good, smart kids who undersatand the boundaries. I would hate to have a goody two shoes for a kid, that would show a lack of character but for their own good they need to know how far they can push and when enough is enough.

If a toddler puts his fingers in a plug socket after you've told him 5 times not to do it, do you just tell him a sixth time and hope he listens and doesn't kill himself or do you give him a smack to make sure he doesn't do it again and kill himself.

I understand the logic that teaching a young brain that violence is how you sort things out is messed up, but I just think back to my own upbringing and I know it didn't do me any harm and that I'm all the better for it.

Like I said, if you do it right you should quickly get to a point where you don't need to do it very often or not at all. The skanky parents in the shopping centre DrAndy was talking about are obviously failing as parents in many other ways, so focussing on their constant smacking isn't relevant.

I was going out with this PNG girl last year and she had a sister and the sister had kids and the kids had friends.

The GF's sister was one of the best mums I have ever seen. She was very warm and loving with her kids but she was also very firm. She never smacked or even raised her voice but something about the way she spoke to the kids, even the ones that weren't hers, made them listen. She could have 10 kids that were running round causing mayhem come and sit at a table and sit still without moving or talking for 20 minutes.

Anyway there are naturally good kids and naturally naughty kids I reckon and there are naturally good parents and there are parents who will always struggle with the role.

Originally Posted by Koojo

Then it occured to me, do I have the right to order him to do these things, it's not as if he's my personal slave, but then on the other hand he has to learn to pitch in and help when needed.

If he can't be bothered to get the milk then I possibly couldn't be bothered to get his dinner.

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

If he can't be bothered to get the milk then I possibly couldn't be bothered to get his dinner.

exactly .

Originally Posted by hillbilly

My dad was very physical with my brothers and I. Him and I actually had a fist fight when I was about 17 (I probably deserved it).

I have lost control of my emotions with my 13-year old daughter and have slapped her twice on the head. This was not the way I had imagined raising a child.

Now, I simply take away her toys. No time limit.

Currently, she has not had her I-Phone for the past month...

Slap a little girl in the head.

Wow.

My previous comments about internet tough guys reaches a whole new perspective.

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by Koojo

Then it occured to me, do I have the right to order him to do these things, it's not as if he's my personal slave, but then on the other hand he has to learn to pitch in and help when needed.

If he can't be bothered to get the milk then I possibly couldn't be bothered to get his dinner.

he's a pig headed little bugger, he'd just say ok, don't then.
He'll hold his position no matter what, which is at least a sign of a strong nature but bloody infuriating at times.

Originally Posted by hillbilly

My dad was very physical with my brothers and I

Originally Posted by hillbilly

I have lost control of my emotions with my 13-year old daughter and have slapped her twice on the head.

One leads to the other. It's best to try and break the cycle.