Thread: Can I afford to be a father?

Hello,

I think this would be the correct place to voice this question, apologies if it's not!

So, just as the title stipulates, 'do you think I could afford to be a father in LOS'. I appreciate that many decide to raise a family in Thailand and contribute to the many varied gene pool's we have which produce some really great looking kids; I too would like to become a father one day, but I'm not sure my income would allow me too.

Basically, my own circumstance are, I am in my 30s and still studying for an academic future within education, and whilst my g/f is 26, has expressed her desire to have children on more than one occasion. Now, it's not simply an answer that requires me to be told 'wait a few years', it's rather the prospect of will I ever be able to afford to raise children in a country such as Thailand once all the factors are considered.

It's a serious matter, one that shouldn't be taken to lightly, nor one that I wish to regret later in life If i decided not to have one. I have a fully paid for house, with no debts in LOS and as you know I am still studying, I do plan on working abroad from time to time whilst using my home as a base as this has been the plan from day one. My tgf works and I would say we are comfortable just as we are.

My main concern is education, and the well being for a potential kid. School's are not cheap - at least not the ones I would wish for them to attend - and health care with BUPA is close on 50,000 baht per year for a young child up until the age of 6.

If I factor in that once qualified, I would be then be the sole bread winner, then I very much doubt I could meet these requirements, whilst affording a comfortable life for myself and tgf that we have become used too. Perhaps I am over speculating this as most farang/Thai unions possibly survive on incomes much less than my expected one; nevertheless, I feel it is a valid point to raise and one which could ultimately affect my decision whether or not to start a family.

I think my options are quite simply, carry on as I am which is great, or lead a restricted lifestyle that requires constant financial commitment which I fear I cannot support sufficiently.

Maybe I should just buy a dog!

Buy your dog mate, from the way you're fretting it's all you're up to, maybe even go with a fish if the dog is too much to cope with.
Kids are way too streeful for you.

Originally Posted by Sdigit

Buy your dog mate, from the way you're fretting it's all you're up to, maybe even go with a fish if the dog is too much to cope with.
Kids are way too streeful for you.

That doesn't really help does it Sdigit?

It is a well known fact that kids are 'the most' expensive decision anybody can make, I think I read somewhere in the region of a $250,000 outlay up to the age of 18.

It is not really a state of me being "streeful" as you put it, more along the lines of me being to selfish and not wanting to live a life for the next 21 years by 'just getting by'.

Originally Posted by Bruno

Originally Posted by Sdigit

Buy your dog mate, from the way you're fretting it's all you're up to, maybe even go with a fish if the dog is too much to cope with.
Kids are way too streeful for you.

That doesn't really help does it Sdigit?

It is a well known fact that kids are 'the most' expensive decision anybody can make, I think I read somewhere in the region of a $250,000 outlay up to the age of 18.

It is not really a state of me being "streeful" as you put it, more along the lines of me being to selfish and not wanting to live a life for the next 21 years by 'just getting by'.

Apologies for the typo it's inforgivable of me, using a phone and great big fingers, you know how it is.

So, Kids are Expensive eh? Who would've thunk it.
Not that it matters, you obviously want a life free from hassle so you obviously ain't daddy material.

Good luck with the fish

[/QUOTE] you obviously want a life free from hassle [/QUOTE]

Defiantly, this is my point exactly! I got friends who have kids and they are all miserable bastards because of it - they weren't before.

Of course it must be a great feeling to have your own flesh and blood running about the place, taking family holidays and teaching them how to ride a bike or swim, but for me I think the bad outweighs the good in this case and can't be dealing with all the negatives that comes with being a parent. I honestly feel quite bad saying that, but as you pointed out 'maybe I'm not daddy material'

Hence my enquiry into peoples' lives as to 'how hard' they find it raising a kid in a country such as Thailand compared to their motherland.

Bringing up kids is no picnic anywhere if you're doing it right.
In Los you will want to send them to a private school, so any saving you make in living expense is lost on schooling stright off the bat.
If I didn't need to work and had the money for "adequate" private schooling I'd be there and not here.

Have to agree with the digit there. If you have to agonize over the question, the answer is no. If the financial side is the biggest concern, with a fully paid house and no debts, you're pondering the wrong question. There's so much more to being a parent.

Personally, taking all the shit hitting the fan in this century into account, I'd not consider having a child.

First consideration must be a child's potential future. I'd suggest that finances and education will the the least of the problems facing a new generation. It could get really bad out there.

I fear for mine. It is my greatest concern, and I can't help. Money ain't gonna do the trick anymore.... It will still help, but I don't think it'll help much.

You sound out just how I feel most of the time Mr FlyFree, I frett like crazy for the future of my Little Digit and the older he gets the more I frett.
At the moment it's all about getting him into the right school, before long it'll be exam grades and drugs, the list of things to worry about seems endless and growing by the day.

Wow, Bruno, Flyfree and Digit have all hit nails on heads of points how I constantly feel.

The wife and I agreed that we'd try to start a family early next year but I'm constantly fretting about finances for it and I think now even she might be willing to wait a bit longer until we both feel secure. (She's not mentioned it for a couple of months)

Apart from the money my biggest concern is the society that is in the future. Times have changed and there seems to be a whole headache of worries to consider.

just now whatch danish news a marokan man mowed to denmark whith his wife when they went apart she take the kids to spain and dumb them at a sister living in spain the boys bspeak danish and go to shool in denmark but the rules here in denmark is the mother can not just dump the kids becurse bher new man dont like the kids are to much danish and to litle muslim it is like that if the kids go to stay here in denmark my pension will be smaler despite i payed tax since i was 14 years old i can see it is not good for the boys to be sent back to the mother in maroco but i have to think of my situasion if the boys stay here there will be less money for my pension so let the mother take care of her 2 boys insted of just dump them in denmark

^^Not that you'd have to stay off the pop..?

https://teakdoor.com/the-teakdoor-lou...-you-make.html

if you wait until you got enough cash you will never do it.

Originally Posted by FlyFree

First consideration must be a child's potential future. I'd suggest that finances and education will the the least of the problems facing a new generation. It could get really bad out there.

I think my parents thought that, and theirs....and it did

Don't do it, you'll just feel additional guilt when you go back to using hookers when you get bored with your missus.

Oh look, smeg's got a new user name.

really Dug?

which one is it?

Originally Posted by Bruno

Maybe I should just buy a dog!

Nope, just dump the gf and use whores for your sexual needs , they will not bother you to have kids and if they demand too much money just leave them out of the door.

Could be more than eduction cost every year, salary for maid once maid employed, girlfriend/wife jealous thinks your short timing with maid.Wife/girlfriend walks out your left looking after baby.

Originally Posted by Bruno

somewhere in the region of a $250,000 outlay up to the age of 18.

Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore

Your g/f will want children its expected in Thai society.

Thais have kids as a financial insurance in threir old age. Since this is a financial investment you may be able to tax deduct some of the 250

(you would have to pay CGT on the sin sot though!)

If I lived in Thailand I think it would be ideal for bringing up a kid. I would pay a maid to wipe its arse and I would teach it myself. 1 on 1 tuition is about 4 times as productive as classroom learning so I would only have to put in 2 hours a day. It would be quality time and you could watch your experiment become a prodigy. Way better results than getting a Thai or a sex tourist to teach it.

Bruno: I think you're asking the wrong question. You should be asking, "Do I want kids?" If you want to have kids, for whatever reason, then by all means do so. But your wife's culture should not, in my opinion, be a driving force in the decision. Wives have a shorter lifespan than kids. Wives tend to come and go; kids are your responsibility forever.

I have eleven year old twins, and no regrets. I live in the Philippines, and have for many years. The costs associated with the kids is fine for now. It will probably bankrupt me when they head off to the US for college, but such is life. I am in good shape financially, but will have to do some saving to handle college costs. But, you can't take it with you in any case.

In retrospect, I am delighted that my first wife and I never had kids. I am just as delighted that the twins dropped in ten years into what is a great twenty-year relationship.

That said, you won't be a good father unless you really want kids. They are a lot of time and trouble. There are tons of bad parents out there; you don't want to be one. From reading your posts, I don't think that at this point in your life you sound like you want children. So, wait and see if that changes down the road.

Yes you can afford it.

What are you still studying at 30 yrs old for? You big girl

Kids? Fuck that!
They're not even human, are they?

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton
Bruno: I think you're asking the wrong question. You should be asking, "Do I want kids?"

What he should be asking himself is what colour goldfish he should buy