Thread: TSA...proof the terrorists have won!

My last trip to the US I had three run ins with those morons.

The last incident,
It was about 2 am in Seattle. I'd just checked in for an EVA flight out at 4:30 am.
I was the only person going through security. They were in training mode I thought because it took 2 of them to check my passport and boarding pass.
I remove my laptops from my back pack to go through the scanner.
As I'm doing this a stupid cnut yells at me from the other side of the walkthrough metal detector that I need my id and boarding pass. WTF!! my hands were full and they'd just checked it.
I take off my shoes and walk through the metal detector.
Now another moron wants to hand check my pack.

I empty it again...they scan it again, As I'm packing it back up he's say's he want's to see the secret compartment. I tell him there isn't one..that they just scanned it twice and he was an fucking idiot. oops! He hits a buzzer and announces "hostile passenger".
Supervisors arrive and while biting my tongue allowed the situation to defuse.
While packing my pack up for the third time they inquired if I needed help. I said just keep that guy away from me!
I took 20 minutes. The whole time I was the only one going through security! complete feeking morons.


I thought I was going to get arrested.

The terrorists have won!

Ferk sake. Do you have swarthy features?
It's no better at Heathrow I'm told.

Originally Posted by sabang

Do you have swarthy features?

nope anglo saxon through and through. (fair haired scottish mostly)

In Anchorage a few hours earlier they riffled through my bag and confiscated a half used tube of toothpaste.

Don't let the bastards intimidate you.

I don't travel well at the best of times, and arriving Heathrow a few turns back had a Paki (for the pc howlers...they wear name tags) go into scrutiny mode with me and my passport...after he compared my face with the pic for about the 4th time I got real pissed off and snatched my passport whilst yelling at him that it was my country and if he wants to pretend he's saving the world he should go back home and kill everyone he knows. Didn't go down at all well, at least not with the moron, but I detected what looked like a half-smile from one of his colleagues as I strutted off.

Another time had a barney with a couple of armed cops at luggage retrieval who got pissed off when I moved a couple of meters away from my bags for a trolley...they wouldn't let it go and I wouldn't let it go, ended up I told them to do wtf they want but keep an eye on my bags and make sure nobody slips a bomb into them...they called for backup as I walked off deliberately slow, I returned with trolley and started verballing (controlled, always controlled) about them being a couple of toy cops abusing their authority on overtime, and by the time the cavalry arrived they decided to turn their attention to other trivial matters as I headed unchallenged towards customs.

Some people will eat shit if it earns them the right to a uniform.

Originally Posted by keda

after he compared my face with the pic for about the 4th time I got real pissed off and snatched my passport whilst yelling at him that it was my country and if he wants to pretend he's saving the world he should go back home and kill everyone he knows. Didn't go down at all well, at least not with the moron, but I detected what looked like a half-smile from one of his colleagues as I strutted off

Oh you big, (internet) tough guy you! Bet that showed him, eh.

You're full of BS.

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

I thought I was going to get arrested.

The terrorists have won!

Terrorists always win and the situation in the US is like that because you and your likes have given a blank cheque to a moron President who is a Religious extremist and thinks that the people shouldn't be given freedom as this is a privilege for the elite, not the masses.

He is the most unamerican president of all times, and yet his nazi followers think he is the shit with his fake Texan accent and his clumsy cowboy attitude, but in reality he is just a loser leading other "trailer park" losers.

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

My last trip to the US I had three run ins with those morons.

The last incident,
It was about 2 am in Seattle. I'd just checked in for an EVA flight out at 4:30 am.
I was the only person going through security. They were in training mode I thought because it took 2 of them to check my passport and boarding pass.
I remove my laptops from my back pack to go through the scanner.
As I'm doing this a stupid cnut yells at me from the other side of the walkthrough metal detector that I need my id and boarding pass. WTF!! my hands were full and they'd just checked it.
I take off my shoes and walk through the metal detector.
Now another moron wants to hand check my pack.

I empty it again...they scan it again, As I'm packing it back up he's say's he want's to see the secret compartment. I tell him there isn't one..that they just scanned it twice and he was an fucking idiot. oops! He hits a buzzer and announces "hostile passenger".
Supervisors arrive and while biting my tongue allowed the situation to defuse.
While packing my pack up for the third time they inquired if I needed help. I said just keep that guy away from me!
I took 20 minutes. The whole time I was the only one going through security! complete feeking morons.


I thought I was going to get arrested.

The terrorists have won!

Low paid airport security workers who wanted to be a cop but can't be. So, work in airport security. Yes, I've had these difficulties, too. They like yelling don't they?

^ Immigration, customs and those fekkers are all from the same pathetic "I failed police school" so I'll try to intimidate helpless airline passengers group. I've watched immigration officers almost bring innocent people to tears.

No offense - not hassling with these lot. They can hold you for a few days just for laffs.

Originally Posted by britmaveric

No offense - not hassling with these lot. They can hold you for a few days just for laffs.

You're correct it's no laughing matter how much power these assholes have over you. essentially the have absolute power over you. They could prevent you from ever flying again.

Originally Posted by Butterfly

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

I thought I was going to get arrested.

The terrorists have won!

Terrorists always win and the situation in the US is like that because you and your likes have given a blank cheque to a moron President who is a Religious extremist and thinks that the people shouldn't be given freedom as this is a privilege for the elite, not the masses.

He is the most unamerican president of all times, and yet his nazi followers think he is the shit with his fake Texan accent and his clumsy cowboy attitude, but in reality he is just a loser leading other "trailer park" losers.

Never miss an opportunity to spew your vitriolic bullshit do you!

The TSA was a knew jerk reaction from both sides of the aisle.

At the time everyone was crying "how could this have happened?" scurrying around like chickens wit their heads cut off.

I really enjoy it when they ask you to take your sandals off (no socks) and check the bottoms of your feet. Only in America have I seen such extreme paranoia!

Originally Posted by The_Dude

I really enjoy it when they ask you to take your sandals off (no socks) and check the bottoms of your feet.

You wear sandals!?

Perhaps they are checking for stigmata?

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

I tell him there isn't one..that they just scanned it twice and he was an fucking idiot.

How old are you?
That's one of the few things I've learned not to say over the years.
Yes, they can hold you until your flight is gone, and they can also take your luggage apart to find that hidden compartment on mere suspicion if they want.

I once made a stupid joke about a bomb in my pocket to one of those overly officious characters - the hassle you'll get isn't worth it.

Originally Posted by keda

yelling at him that it was my country and if he wants to pretend he's saving the world he should go back home and kill everyone he knows.

I wish they'd taken you in and charged you with insulting an officer for this. They would have had good reason to - if this incident did in fact take place.

The "War on Terrorism" marches on unabated! In the eyes of these so called US/UK "airport security" people, every passenger is a terrorist giving these ignorant gits official license to lord it over all. Most have serious personality defects which would disqualify them from a real law enforcement job or for that matter a trainee job at MacDonald's. Having been through many airports in Asia, it is clear airport security can be done efficiently, professionally and politely. Why the hell it can't be done in the US is a testament to the character of the staff. All we can do is grin and bear it until the "War on Terror" is won!!

Well, to me the really funny and also pathetic thing about the TSA are all the stories about feeble old grandmas getting roughed up etc., because otherwise they get accused of discriminatory profiling by stopping all the dark skinned guys with beards only.

Originally Posted by stroller

Originally Posted by keda

yelling at him that it was my country and if he wants to pretend he's saving the world he should go back home and kill everyone he knows.

I wish they'd taken you in and charged you with insulting an officer for this. They would have had good reason to - if this incident did in fact take place.

Highly doubt that it did, strikes me as fantasist dribbling. But if it did occur, then in a nutshell:

Keda racially abuses an Immigration official (who, for all he knows could've been born in the UK or even 2nd, 3rd or more generation) and then saunters off feeling right proud of himself and all chav-tough like. And the 'look' that he interprets as a knowing wink from this guys colleague could've just as easily have been: 'Oh my god, what a fuckstick!'.

Originally Posted by keda

I got real pissed off and snatched my passport whilst yelling at him that it was my country and if he wants to pretend he's saving the world he should go back home and kill everyone he knows.

i don't believe this for a second.

Originally Posted by keda

as I strutted off.

you're quite the dandy.

Originally Posted by stroller

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

I tell him there isn't one..that they just scanned it twice and he was an fucking idiot.

How old are you?
That's one of the few things I've learned not to say over the years.
Yes, they can hold you until your flight is gone, and they can also take your luggage apart to find that hidden compartment on mere suspicion if they want.

I once made a stupid joke about a bomb in my pocket to one of those overly officious characters - the hassle you'll get isn't worth it.

Originally Posted by keda

yelling at him that it was my country and if he wants to pretend he's saving the world he should go back home and kill everyone he knows.

I wish they'd taken you in and charged you with insulting an officer for this. They would have had good reason to - if this incident did in fact take place.

Yes this incident did take place as did others I could recount, such as sitting on the roof of a cop car in Regent Street till an apology arrived from a similarly untrained asshole that thought he had the backing of the state to abuse his authority.

Sure immigration and others can give anyone a hard time, but the bottom of the food chain need to justify squandering stretched resources to those above. They could feed me through any database that takes their fancy, use three hefties to make sure I don't leave the room and play the nasty to their hearts' content, but bottom line has them wasting their time, they know it, and while the vets are aware of the score it's invariably the younger ones that still get off on intimidation rather than doing their job.

As to insulting an officer, with recruiting standards as low as they've ever been and the wanabee Walter Mittys well used to negative reaction, on the whole they're not out to hassle peaceable travellers wanting to go about their business.

Originally Posted by stroller

Originally Posted by chinthee

all the stories about feeble old grandmas getting roughed up etc.

Well, we know those barbaric terrorists would use any loophole and strap little old ladies with anthrax and explosives.

Yeah, like that's as beyond them as using kids to deliver their messages of peace.

Flying from LA to Boston, I was about to go through a metal detector when a buxom young TSA gave me the shakedown. She asked if I had any guns, knives, weapons, ammunition, explosives etc.

I winked at her and said I had a heat-seeking moisture missile in my pocket.

I spent the next 12 hours in a detention cell and missed my brother's wedding.

OK, It was 12 minutes and I don't have any brothers.







OK I never said anything like that as I know how these fools can screw with you.

Originally Posted by keda

Yes this incident did take place as did others I could recount, such as sitting on the roof of a cop car in Regent Street till an apology arrived from a similarly untrained asshole that thought he had the backing of the state to abuse his authority...


... Walter Mittys

Huh, ironic.

Originally Posted by keda

on the whole they're not out to hassle peaceable travellers wanting to go about their business.

The entire point of checking is that they don't know who is such or not.
"Peaceable traveller" is not a term that springs to mind while reading your stories.

Stories or not, I'm a very peaceable person till some asshole finds his or her way to me instead of someone else.