Divorce advice

[Aye aye]

Hey everyone,


Time to split from the missus, I won't mind advice from the experts here!

So far we're still talking, and I hope we can manage to agree on how we deal with everything (kids, property, etc). I hope meeting with a lawyer will just be to put this all down on paper nicely and quickly. Still, I believe talking to one of these guys now can only be helpful to take plenty of stuff in consideration. If you have someone to recommend, pls PM me.


Other than that, I was told to stay home until everything is settled. Anyone with experience on these matters?

[thefactoryoutlet]

Good luck but why a divorce ? What are the advantages for you ? Just do your life and ignore her, she won't be able to do anything to fight back !

[boloa]

Nobody like to talk about divorce if they've had one here in Thailand .
To busy crying in their beer because of eveything they have lost.......50/50 split!!! I don't think so

[Stinky]

Ok worst case scenarios are the best ones to consider so here's some suggestions.
Grab what you can when you can, your western chivalry counts for nothing here and you'll end up having your pants pulled down if you don't start first.
If you are invited out by her to discuss how to proceed stay away from water ropes and high balconies. And stay public!
Keeping it amicable might be an option as long as you're happy to walk away with nothing?
As far as the kids are concerned you do have parental right but tit and she might want to dump then off on you or blackmail you if you ever want to see them.
You think divorce in he west can get bitter, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Yes I do indeed have the T-shirt
Good luck

[Aye aye]

I hear you guys, thanks for your answers!

Trying to keep it friendly for different reasons, the kids being the main one:
. if I just leave and do my life, she won't let me near them for sure
. I want my parents to freely visit their grand-children when they come over here, and these kids to be able to travel away in broad daylight. I already tried to picture myself jumping the border at night with one under each arm, and I'd rather not have to get to this point

. I also believe that if we negotiate I won't leave the arena just stark naked. There's a chance I get something back.


I'll steer clear from balconies, sharp or blunt objects, Stinky, thanks for the advice!

[Horatio Hornblower]

Aye Aye have you told her your still going to take care of the kids and maybe throw her some money each month.

A lot of Thai women think men are just going to do a runner, thats what i had when i was thinking of leaving, on the other hand if your being friendly keep doing so for the kids and just do what you want, make give the two of you some room as well.

[thailazer]

If you are both agreed on what to do, why not just go to the Ampur where you got married and do an uncontested divorce? A friend did that and it took less than 20 minutes. In typical Thai style, they went out to eat afterwards to celebrate.

[kingwilly]

Yep, involving lawyers is a great way to escalate everything. (they get more fees)

[Aye aye]

Hey guys, great advice there, thanks!

Going to see the lawyer will not be to escalate things, but rather to have some ammo to lead the negotiations as smoothly as possible...
Reaching uncontested divorce would be ideal for us all: the other option would just be too destructive, painful, long, expensive. Best way to blow chances to agree on anything later, and the kids will be hurt in the process.

Luckily, we're clear that we should make this the best possible for the kids, and that I'm not going anywhere until they're grown. Being friendly is the only way we're gonna get anywhere, and after a few bitter moments she now understands it.


I like your thinking, Horatio. Sometimes, room and time is just what's needed.


We're discussing now some monthly cash support. She claims that "by law" it should be 15000 per kid = 30k monthly for both. Now, I'm nowhere near having that much cash, and she knows it better than I do.
The talks go on...

[Jesus Jones]

^my mate is 8 years on and still nothing sorted with the lawyers he pays each time. Divorce has been sorted but the property is another story!

[Stinky]

In my home country possession is nine of the of the law, in Thailand it's nationality that wins the day.

[boloa]

Luckily, we're clear that we should make this the best possible for the kids, and that I'm not going anywhere until they're grown. Being friendly is the only way we're gonna get anywhere.

So true.
When I divorced in the UK,my ex had a great job and never made any financial demands on me. She even signed over the house to me . No having to pay maintenance meant I had more money to spend on my two girls..... like twice weekly horse riding riding lessons,music lessons and fun trips when they came to stay every other weekend.
Grown-ups can take care of themselves...... so the priority must always be whats best for the children .

[Norton]

She claims that "by law" it should be 15000 per kid = 30k monthly for both.

Naw. Not true.

Child support is negotiable. If both agree to divorce and come to a wrtten agreement on child support, all can at the Ampur. If not it's off to court.

15k per month per kid is way more than needed to support a kid. 5k per month more than reasonable. Her 30k per month total sounds she is planning to use it to support herself.

Good luck and do try to avoid court where only a lawyer will profit.

[jamescollister]

Best keep away from lieyers if possible, don't think they are allowed in the family court anyway.
Property settlements are different matters, lawyers will tell you lies to get you to pay.

Here's a story I'm a side player in.
Yank marries [blessing only] Thai girl, all loved up buys her 25 rai rubber plantation.
4 weeks later yanks gone to Pattaya, Thai girl happy to remain in the village, has rubber and a good income, no more bars for her.

Enter yank number 2, comes and visits me, seems he invested 3 mil Baht in yank no 1s rubber plantation, wants his money back.

Pattaya lawyer, sue the girl for the money, god knows how much in legal fees he has paid so far, with no chance of seeing one Baht back, lands crown title in her name, can't be sold.

[boloa]

^^ Child Support in Thailand | Siam Legal International

[Norton]

A fair summary of Thai law but I would avoid hiring them or any law firm if it can be avoided.

[boloa]

A Danish guy in our Village came to see me and said he wanted to Divorce his wife but the MiL said her and his wife wanted 1 million as a settlement.I fell about laughing and gave him a bit of advice......in the end they Divorced at the local Amphur Office. She wanted 10k a month for child maintenance and he wanted to pay 5k...they settled on 7K. ( this was all agreed on and the paperwork was signed at the Amphur Office )
He has now remarried a nice women from Korat and has 2 children and comes to visit his daughter in the Village on a regular basis .His Ex is back working in Phuket and bring a different Westerner whenever she come home.
The MiL looks after her Grand-daughter and is more than happy with the regular 7k a month for them to live on.

Life goes on!!

[Bobcock]

50/50 split!!! I don't think so

Definately not, my mate took his wife to the cleaners, he offered her the house and a car and cash and she wanted more. She took him to court and the judge ruled in his favour and most of it back and said the house should be 50/50. Costs were awarded against her and the house is being sold to pay him 50% and the other 50% will be her costs. He has since got two more houses and an apartment in KL so he's doing fine and she will leave with nothing of his.

[Horatio Hornblower]

Boloa just out of interest the Danish guy,why doesn't he go for custody of the child if the mother is working away and introducing her child to many of her customers, wouldn't the kid safer with her father.

A Danish guy in our Village came to see me and said he wanted to Divorce his wife but the MiL said her and his wife wanted 1 million as a settlement.I fell about laughing and gave him a bit of advice......in the end they Divorced at the local Amphur Office. She wanted 10k a month for child maintenance and he wanted to pay 5k...they settled on 7K. ( this was all agreed on and the paperwork was signed at the Amphur Office )
He has now remarried a nice women from Korat and has 2 children and comes to visit his daughter in the Village on a regular basis .His Ex is back working in Phuket and bring a different Westerner whenever she come home.
The MiL looks after her Grand-daughter and is more than happy with the regular 7k a month for them to live on.

Life goes on!!

[thaimeme]

She claims that "by law" it should be 15000 per kid = 30k monthly for both.

Naw. Not true.

Child support is negotiable. If both agree to divorce and come to a wrtten agreement on child support, all can at the Ampur. If not it's off to court.

15k per month per kid is way more than needed to support a kid. 5k per month more than reasonable. Her 30k per month total sounds she is planning to use it to support herself.

Good luck and do try to avoid court where only a lawyer will profit.

Sounds as if she's looking to squeeze him any way she can - unnecessarily.
Agreed, that 15k per child a month is quite excessive.

[Aye aye]

Thanks guys for all this useful input on the situation!


Wife knows very well I cant afford 30k anyways, I see this as a first offer we'll work on. I wouldnt mind giving it if I could: the happier the mother, the happier the kids will be.
Been reading a bit, and it is negotiable on a per case basis. In my situation, that can't be much at all.

I'm busy and moving in and out of town, so not much time to talk with the wife, not much progress to talk about here. Looks like we just need to clear this monthly child support, and we can move on to sign at the ampur.


Feels weird that it actually could be that simple. Looks too good to be true...

[kenyon]

Going through the same thing as you Aye Aye, after 6 years and 3 kids she tells me she wants to leave me and the kids and get a job in a electronics factory so she can hang out with her friend and not be reliant on me for money. I got a great live in maid who just took up the reigns and helped the wife pack her bags so I can carry on working away from Thailand. Now 5 weeks later she phones up to say she is sorry, work to hard, want to come home to be lazy wife. Hope it all works out for you mate.

[Chittychangchang]

The MiL looks after her Grand-daughter and is more than happy with the regular 7k a month for them to live on.

I'd pay the MIL 7K a month not too look after my daughter.

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

[Aye aye]

Quick update:
We're getting stuck on the alimony, the bitch is greedy... Her dad is coming to town this week, and we'll talk things over with him. He's a fair and kind bloke, I hope we'll settle things fair and square.


Advice for anyone reading: do take plenty of time.
You know things are slow here, do slow them even more, because you know of all the 'surprise' requirements popping up at the last moment. I luckily set my mind on super slow progress, and don't take anything for granted, until it's signed and done. Things have changed a few times over already, and I took it easy because i expected this to happen.

Stay calm. Calmly stop discussing as soon as shit starts flying over the table. Say that you're interrupting until it's possible to talk calmly again, and leave the place. Doing so, you keep discussions 'sane' in the sense that there is a minimal respect when talking things over. It's a necessity, otherwise blames will just get things infected and make it impossible to reach an agreement.

[Aye aye]

Going through the same thing as you Aye Aye, after 6 years and 3 kids she tells me she wants to leave me and the kids and get a job in a electronics factory so she can hang out with her friend and not be reliant on me for money. I got a great live in maid who just took up the reigns and helped the wife pack her bags so I can carry on working away from Thailand. Now 5 weeks later she phones up to say she is sorry, work to hard, want to come home to be lazy wife. Hope it all works out for you mate.

Wish you the best mate! Keep us posted!