Ken Dodd RIP

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.’ ‘I’ve done some brave things in my time. I played Nottingham Labour Club. I was the one who shouted “Three cheers for Mrs Thatcher”. And it was during the bingo.’ ‘Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.’ ‘I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don’t like to interrupt her.’ ‘Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel.’

Read more: Ken Dodd dead: Sir Ken Dodd's greatest jokes of all time | Metro News
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/