My post-lockdown commute back to work

[Edmond]

Anybody else narrating this in Sir David Attenborough's voice?

I tried my hardest... offered freedom of movement... no borders... the lot, but these guys play hardball.

The oven ready deal was in the oven.

The bird was cooking...

And I was doing my best to keep cross-border trade going by drinking the local produce...

I put my deal on the table. Mohamed had his deal as well... ya can't roast a bit of fish in a plastic punnet!

You would have thought this was a done deal.

But at the end of the day, you have to see what's offered in return. If it falls below expectations then maybe you have to rethink the whole situation? Far be it for me to criticise French cuisine, but is chocolate sauce not meant to be runny?

I settled down to watch ET... a movie I stupidly admitted to not having watched.

Poor b@stard... living in a hostile environment amongst an alien race with limited communication, strange food and no intimacy... but I've got used to it now!

So anyway, all said and done, I've had enough. There comes a point you don't want a deal any more. I don't want to talk about some wanky French film director who only makes films with subtitles, I don't want to talk about some long dead French composer who wrote music for the piano, or even the harpsichord, and I certainly don't want to talk about Macron and his punitive tax reforms. It's just too much hard work.

I don't care.

I just want to get home, give me daughter a big hug and then sit at my table with a Leo and a Ya Dong and have my dogs sitting around me with love in their eyes.

And not talk.

But I have learnt one thing... if yer not gonna get a decent deal, don't be afraid to withhold your bargaining chips and make do with what you've got!

[Mendip]

I bet she had hairy armpits anyway...

To be honest I don't have a problem with that.

But I read somewhere that only 20% of French people actually own a toothbrush... so I guess things have worked out for the best!

[panama hat]

But I read somewhere that only 20% of French people actually own a toothbrush... so I guess things have worked out for the best!

'Somewhere'? Sure, you did. I'm sure you meant to say 20% of French people own an electric toothbrush.

I read somewhere that only 2.7% of English people shower, let alone use soap. Could have been the same source, though they're probably spot on with the soap.

[David48atTD]

Anybody else narrating this in Sir David Attenborough's voice?

I was hoping he'd have a voice generator app.

Couldn't find it, but this made me smile. One for JJPR2

[OhOh]

SDA a true English treasure, thanks.

[Mendip]

It looks a little Chitty-esque, that Christmas dinner, if you don't mind me saying so mate.

I've had some insults in my time...

'Somewhere'? Sure, you did...

Yeah, it was on the internet... can't remember exactly where...


Anyway, it hasn't exactly been my best ever Christmas, but after work and in the absence of any intimate Gallic company, regardless of oral hygiene, I've been spicing things up by having a Tunnock's Tea Cake every night to cheer meself up.

They were on offer at The British Shop and I couldn't resist... although they were probably 10 times the cost of in the UK and also out of date.



And this is really bugging me now... I'm absolutely fukkin convinced that these used to have a blob of jam in the middle... I remember having them years ago when I was a kid.

So much so that I just can't stop thinking about it.

No jam? Does anyone remember?

[helge]

Did Tunnocks tea cakes have jam in them?

The name you seek is simply 'Teacake'. ... The mighty Tunnocks teacake has egg white based mallow which is basically uncooked meringue, and shirks any mauling around with jam.


Edit:

. Several competing brands to Tunnock's, such as Lees' Foods, also include jam in the centre of the teacake

[hallelujah]

^^ Are you sure you aren't confusing them with jammie dodgers?

[Dillinger]

I remember jam in them. Not sure if they were Tunnocks, could have been Lyons

[TheMadBaron]

The name you seek is simply 'Teacake'. ... The mighty Tunnocks teacake has egg white based mallow which is basically uncooked meringue, and shirks any mauling around with jam.

Helge has gone all Backspinny....

The mighty Tunnocks teacake has egg white based mallow which is basically uncooked meringue, and shirks any mauling around with jam.

Your Biscuit Views

[baldrick]

you could have turned her head with the offer of a soggy biscuit

[Mendip]

^ I'll keep that in mind Baldrick, but I don't think it'll improve my chances.


Must admit I'm saturated with this work now... into my sixth month and every day's a struggle.

I should have just over two weeks to go but am still waiting on a revised CoE based on revised flights and ASQ booking, so I'll wait for that until getting too excited. The London Thai embassy's closed today so hopefully I'll get it tomorrow.

My young daughter's helping to keep my spirits up! At 5:30am today she sent me a Skype message asking if I wanted to play 'Rock Paper Scissors' using Skype emojis. I was awake anyway, lying in bed considering going into work early, so thought a bit weird, but why not.

This was new to me, and you have to wait until you see the squiggly line thingy saying that the other person is typing, then send your emoji. It gets quite exciting when both emojis appear at the same time.

It was the most fun I've had this Christmas!

My daughter beat me 5-4... but I can't help thinking she waited to see my choice before making hers... the bugger...

[OhOh]

No jam? Does anyone remember?

No.

These were the ones that always appeared at home after the visit to the super market:

[Edmond]

Rock.

[Mendip]

Don't you start...

Every time I did Rock (the fist) my daughter did Paper (the flat hand).

It was uncanny...

[Edmond]

Scissors

Paper

Yayyyy.

[Mendip]

^ This is pretty good, but can you imagine how exciting it gets playing it 'live' on Skype!

[Edmond]

As long as she doesn't get a reply 'les ciseaux' you're safe.

[TheMadBaron]

^ This is pretty good, but can you imagine how exciting it gets playing it 'live' on Skype!

When you get back to her, if you have the energy, try Bear, Hunter, Ninja. Stand back to back, and turn on the count of three, striking a scary pose....

Hunter kills Bear (Hunter has a shotgun).
Ninja kills Hunter (Ninja has sneaky skillz).
Bear kills Ninja (Bear is a badass motherfucker).

[Dillinger]

Nom nom nom nom nom

[Mendip]

^

That's just taunting me! That is exactly my memory so at least this is cleared up.

So was it Lyons?


^^ That sounds like a great game... will give it a try.

To be honest I think Rock Paper Scissors on Skype is just too open to cheating. She'll be wanting to do it for money next, I know.


Christmas is officially over here... I boiled up the chicken carcasses last night and made up a soup tonight.

I left a bowl out for my French colleague and then sneaked back to my room. An evening of Netflix with no talking awaits.

It don't get better than that!

[Dillinger]

was it Lyons?

No, its one of the best things I found since coming back- Aldi and their knockoff brands. Those Krauts are better than the Thais at forgery.

And they don't just copy products that well that you wouldn't tell the difference after a few pints, they also chop the price in half or give you twice the amount, that whilst sticking them right next to the original. I dunno how they get away with it. Its like Mao and his buy a wonky khao San degree thread all over again.

...

[Mendip]

So just to be clear... that's Aldi Tea Cakes right next to the Tunnock's, they have jam in and they're 10p cheaper!

I wish I lived in the UK again.

Were the Jammy Wheels as good as Jammy Dodgers?

[Joe 90]

Those cart wheels are the same as wagon wheels.
Same, same but different

[Dillinger]

So just to be clear... that's Aldi Tea Cakes right next to the Tunnock's, they have jam in and they're 10p cheaper!

And theres 12 compared to 6

Were the Jammy Wheels as good as Jammy Dodgers?

Was never keen on those, tbh. Would have sooner picked up the cart wheels or some of this poncey pretencious Italian shit they couldn't give away







You should stop by, I'll put a nice log in your hand