Thread: The First Post People of the Year awards 2010

Presenting: The First Post People of the Year awards
Jack Bremer
DECEMBER 23, 2010


What links Julian Assange, Vince Cable and Lady Gaga? They're all winners of the coveted First Post awards

The shortlist of nominees was chosen by The First Post's correspondents worldwide. The winners were decided at a suitably sober gathering of the editorial board at First Post Towers on Wednesday. Here are the results:

TRAITOR OF THE YEAR

Runners-up:
Ed Miliband, for cheating his brother David out of the Labour party leadership.
Ben Collins, for trying to cash in on his secret identity as The Stig, and spoiling all the fun of Top Gear.

And the joint winners are (equal first):
Adrian Lamo, who shopped the alleged WikiLeaker Bradley Manning to the Pentagon, and
Nick Clegg, for letting down 6.8m million Lib Dem voters by doing a coalition deal with the Tories and going back on his pledge not to raise tuition fees.

PRAT OF THE YEAR

Runners-up:
Wayne Rooney, for being useless in the World Cup and for visiting a prostitute while his wife was pregnant.
Wagner Fiuza-Carrilho, for looking like that, behaving like that, and singing like that on The X Factor.

And the winner is:
Vince Cable, Business Secretary, for moaning about life in a coalition Cabinet to two cute newspaper reporters masquerading as constituents.

TWEETER OF THE YEAR

Runners-up:
Paul Chambers, for threatening to blow up Doncaster Airport when it snowed - what he would have done about Heathrow in recent days?
Stephen Fry, for jumping to Chambers's defence and offering to pay his court costs.

And the winner is:
Jemima Khan, for having the chutzpah to criticise Kate Middleton: "Those are not heir-bearing hips are they?"

SPY OF THE YEAR

Runners-up:
Anna Chapman, for getting all the headlines when 10 KGB 'sleeper agents' were rounded up across the States.
Katia Zatuliveter, for bringing some much-needed gossip to the House of Commons just when the expenses scandal ran out of steam.

And the winners are:
Holly Watt and Laura Roberts of the Daily Telegraph who, posing as Lib Dem constituents, trapped Vince Cable into speaking honestly about his marriage (to the Tories).

SLIPPERY FISH OF THE YEAR

Runners-up:
Tony Hayward, former BP chief executive, who still believes the US over-reacted to the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.
Fabio Capello, who held on to his £6m-a-year England job despite the team's dismal showing in the World Cup.

And the winner is:
Andy Coulson, former News of the World editor, who still knows nothing about his reporters illegally hacking into celebrities' voicemail.

POLITICAL SURVIVOR OF THE YEAR

Runners-up:
Silvio Berlusconi, for surviving two confidence votes despite revelations about his exploits with hookers.
Sarah Palin, for still keeping the pundits guessing as to whether she will run against Obama in 2012.

And the joint winners are:
Barack Obama, for going from hero to zero and then, just as the year ended, getting his mojo back, and
Aung San Suu Kyi, for coming out of 15 years of house arrest sane, stunning and ready to take on the generals once again.

FASHION ADDICT OF THE YEAR

Runners-Up:
Victoria Beckham, for finally winning the respect of fashionistas as a full-on fashion designer.
Dita von Teese, for her increasingly influential burlesque style and tough bitch persona.

And the winner is...
Lady Gaga, for donning the most outrageous fashion item of the year - an outfit made of fresh meat, which led to London butchers running out of sausages as fans sought to mimic her.

LUCKY BUGGER OF THE YEAR

Runners-up:
Piers Morgan, for being handed Larry King's job at CNN for no apparent reason.
David Walliams, for marrying the gorgeous gap-toothed Danish model Lara Stone.

And the winner is...
Mark Zuckerberg, the Facebook founder, for being named Time's person of the year when Julian Assange actually won the magazine's readers' poll.

MEDIA ICON OF THE YEAR

There were no other contenders - the winner is:
Julian Assange, for exposing the 'collateral murder' incident in Baghdad in the first major WikiLeaks expose of the year... and for opening our eyes with the latest, ongoing leak of US embassy cables. If the US ends up trying to extradite him from Britain, it will be the first real test of British justice under our self-proclaimed 'progressive' coalition.

thefirstpost.co.uk



have at 'em TDers

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Originally Posted by Mid

gorgeous gap-toothed Danish model Lara Stone

She's a munter.