Thread: Aussies are funny Fukers

Inept pair jailed for bread theft
Two Australians have been jailed for a failed heist which left one of them with a bag of bread rolls and the other with a bullet in the backside.
Benjamin Jorgensen, 38, and Donna Hayes, 36, were sentenced to seven and eight years respectively for the robbery in a Melbourne restaurant.
During the robbery, Jorgensen grabbed what he thought was a bag of money - only to find it contained bread rolls.
He also accidentally fired his gun, hitting Hayes in the buttock.
Judge Roland Williams described the two, who had expected to steal takings worth about A$30,000 ($26,000, £13,000), as a "pair of fools".
Hayes was hospitalised for a month as a result of her injuries.
The two pleaded guilty to armed robbery at the County Court in Victoria.

BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | Inept pair jailed for bread theft

Originally Posted by blackgang

Two Australians have been jailed for a failed heist which left one of them with a bag of bread rolls

Was a time they'd be transported to Australia for that.

What are they going to do with them now? Ship them back to the UK and try again?

Originally Posted by blackgang

He also accidentally fired his gun, hitting Hayes in the buttock.

He'll now have 2 holes to get fucked with in prison

seems to me if you count em all, she will have her origional 3 plus 1.

A man who was rescued from the jaws of a crocodile which bit him on the arm had the double misfortune to be shot by his colleague in the process.
The unlucky victim, Jason Green, was a reptile farmhand in Australia who had been collecting eggs on a riverbank in the Northern Territory at the time.

He disturbed one of the animals close to a nest which snapped at him and encased his arm between its teeth.

Crocodile attacks and shootings are rare in Australia - as is what happened next.

A co-worker was quick to react and took aim with his shotgun, forcing it to release Green.

But the next shot missed its intended target and instead caught Green in the arm.
"The male colleague shot at the crocodile, causing it to let go of the victim's arm, but a further shot hit the victim in the upper right arm," a Northern Territory police statement said.
Green was flown with a bite and a bullet wound by helicopter to a Darwin Hospital for surgery.

http://http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ne...3/wcroc123.xml

This should all be in the things aussies are proud of thread.

How on earth have they been able to feed themselves since the Poms left?

by stealing loaves of bread, the only thing our forefathers taught us

Originally Posted by keda

How on earth have they been able to feed themselves s ince the Poms left?

chomping on the national coat of arms, of course!

Mmmmmm roast kangaroo.... yummy.

Originally Posted by blackgang

Jorgensen grabbed what he thought was a bag of money - only to find it contained bread rolls

He also accidentally fired his gun, hitting Hayes in the buttock

Brilliant.

Originally Posted by Deus Ex

Originally Posted by blackgang

Jorgensen grabbed what he thought was a bag of money - only to find it contained bread rolls

well at least he got some dough.

^Except for being baked.

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

What are they going to do with them now? Ship them back to the UK and try again?

No we're sending them to Kiwiland

I'm already here.