I never give reds - If I have something to say to someone I disagree with I break into their house climb into their bed and when they wake up they find me on the pillow next to them asking, 'What do you mean you don't like cheese toasties!'.
Danbo

One night I came back late from somewhere to find my really small Paki mate Ama being lifted by my rather large unhygiencially smelly Indain mate Jitten onto the small ledge above my front door 1mx0.5m

I snuck up on them and scared the shit out of them.

They said that they had planned to leave Ama up there until I went to University in the morning to jump on me and give me a fright.

I found the stupid ****s at 3am he was going to wait there until 8am -

Got some good stories about those two.