Heathrow Airport.

[hopskimoet]

Does BAA only employ morons? And are the armed police that protect our national airport just as moronic?

After the usual three pints and two double chasers that is well needed before the 12 hour flight to swampy, the last thing you want is find out is that your boarding gate is number 40 and the furthest gate away. So, there I am shuffling along with the rest of the passengers to boarding gate 40 where upon reaching there so happens to be armed police searching unsuspecting passengers. "You, long jacket. Can we have a word?"

"me?"

"Yes you!"

So, I walk over to the officer and he asks where I am going. Now seeing as boarding gate 40 is the last gate down the long line of gates with the words 'BANGKOK' in huge letters above it, I thought that he's either stupid or, just taking the piss.

So, I tell him I'm going to Bangkok whilst pointing to the sign above the boarding gate.

He then asks me what my business is in Bangkok is. Now, the two answers that sprung to mind was 1) It ain't none of your business or 2) I'am going to buy a ten year old. I know that if I gave him either of them two answers my flight might be slightly curtailed. So, I tell him I am going to see the wife. He then asks me if he can see my passport. So, I had my passport to him. It's a brand new passport and I've only had it a week. He takes the passport and suanters off doing some radio checks. He's checking my name against the PNC to see if there's anything wrong.

So, he comes back and says the reason why he stopped me is because the back of the passport hans't been filled out and I should do so straight away. But hold on, he didn't know about the passport until he looked at it. Bullshit. So, I ask him why he really stopped me. He tells me "You look like someone that might be absconding from the country."

Nice.

I said to him "Are we done now?"

He says yes and to enjoy my journey.

I said thank you contstable with emphasis on the t......

[Spin]

kunt stubble indeed.

[dobella]

That's about right.
You are obviously the wrong colour, land at Birmingham (England) and get in a line for EU passport holders.
I am laughing now, I was the only white guy in line and of the six immigration officers at the desk, only 2 were white.
And yes, i realise this will annoy many liberal members of this site.

[Moonraker]

^

I remember you. You're the tool who's to scared to go to the shop because some of those 'brown boys' are there.

[sunsetter]

coming into heathrow this year was great, just popped the passport in a machine and away, didnt have to deal with surly immigration officers

[notdavetherave]

This problem still going on? i did the same thing 10 years ago.

[blue]

Britain totally shit , Should build a new airport in kent ,
or have night flights into Heathrow to annoy the huge immigrant population in the area .
At heathrow , just look for the queue with most sambos in at immigration ,that will be the one for British passport holders .

[dobella]

^

I remember you. You're the tool who's to scared to go to the shop because some of those 'brown boys' are there.

Err, no recollection of what you mean.
Please ellaborate as i am the victim of your abuse Sir.

[Moonraker]

^

https://teakdoor.com/world-news/87839...ml#post1693740 (Half of Britons open to backing far-right political party)

Well, that was difficult!

[Moonraker]

And again.

This is such a difficult game

https://teakdoor.com/world-news/87839...ml#post1693778 (Half of Britons open to backing far-right political party)

[DrAndy]

So, I ask him why he really stopped me. He tells me "You look like someone that might be absconding from the country."

still whingeing and moaning

and if you believed what he said you are even more moronic

they stopped you because they wanted to

oho, they thought, this looks like a whingeing old woman, lets stop him for a laugh

[hopskimoet]

I say!!! Did someone drop their guts?

[DrAndy]

After the usual three pints and two double chasers that is well needed

You, long jacket

I thought that he's either stupid or, just taking the piss.

nope, not stupid, long jacket, he was taking the piss

[hopskimoet]

Terrible smell ITT. Smells like a cantankerous old bastard that just can't let go.

Oh well.

Anyone got any Jade?

[Dan]

Britain totally shit ,

Location: Yorkshire

Hmm. You may have a point.

[Bangyai]

I said to him "Are we done now?"

He says yes and to enjoy my journey.

I said thank you contstable with emphasis on the t......

Least you weren't strip searched. Had that once. The immigration guy asked for my passport ;

" Been to Thailand a lot have we sir ? "
" Yes "
" Been to the golden triangle sir ? "
" No ."
" Like a bit of the wacky backy do you sir ?
" No " ......( first and last lie).
" What have you been doing there then sir ? "
" On. nothing much. Sitting on a beach with a beer all day and shagging horny women all night.....the usual sort of thing " .. Thought a bit of humour might help.
It didn't.

" Would you mind following me this way sir ".

There then followed a strip search down to my undies, heels removed from my shoes, and my electric razor case broken looking for illegal stuff.
Nothing found.
Just got dressed and was heading out the door when he calls me back.

" Don't suppose you've got anything hidden up your bottom have we ? "

Visions of a poof with marigolds flashed through my mind but instead I gave a timid look .

" No sir, I havn't. "
" Just kidding....off you go. "

[Tickiteboo]

^

Thought a bit of humour might help.

Hahaha - his own bit of humour maybe ? What a twat !

[jizzybloke]

When i flew back to the UK this year it was the first time in about 6 or 7 years that i've not been pulled and had a bag search, must look a bit dodgy!

[hopskimoet]

Everytime I come back into the country I get stopped will the same old questions, where have you been, is there anything in your baggage that shouldn't be there, do you have more than 200 cigarettes, etc, etc....

[blue]

Think the immigration staff are jealous and stop the ones who they can see have been away for a long time.
It's bad enough having to come back to Britain especially in the winter, and Heathrow airport certainly confirms all your fears , the plane descend through the clouds but the grey colour stays.
There are draughty corridors miles long , worn out carpet repaired with duct tape , plastic tiles turned up at the corners .Surly staff .All manner of 3rd world trash walking around ......etc etc
welcome to UK

[Bangyai]

Surly staff . All manner of 3rd world trash walking around ......etc etc
welcome to UK

One and the same. Most of them are imigration officials.

[dobella]

And again.

This is such a difficult game

https://teakdoor.com/world-news/87839...ml#post1693778 (Half of Britons open to backing far-right political party)

Oh. i sense a stalker - how are you doing Ant ?

[dobella]

^ ^ Ant, At least I have courage enough not to change my log-on name, unlike you .
You pussy.
What other names are you pussying around on this site ?
Do not bother answering.

[Moonraker]

^ ^ Ant, At least I have courage enough not to change my log-on name, unlike you .
You pussy.
What other names are you pussying around on this site ?
Do not bother answering.

I'm going to be nice here and help you out on this one.

Just click on either of those two links I posted, and then scroll upwards or downwards.

[English Noodles]

^ ^ Ant, At least I have courage enough not to change my log-on name, unlike you . You pussy. What other names are you pussying around on this site ? Do not bother answering.

You tit.