Thread: Shut the Fart up

BBC News - Malawi row over whether new law bans farting

Malawi row over whether new law bans farting

The justice minister said local chiefs would deal with those caught breaking wind in public
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Two of Malawi's most senior judicial officials are arguing over whether a new bill includes a provision that outlaws breaking wind in public.
Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote "public decency".
"Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting," he told local radio.
However, he was directly contradicted by Solicitor General Anthony Kamanga, who says the reference to "fouling the air" means pollution.
"How any reasonable or sensible person can construe the provision to criminalising farting in public is beyond me," he said, adding that the prohibition contained in the new law has been in place since 1929.
The Local Courts Bill, to be introduced next week reads: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."
Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer, insists that this includes farting.
"Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" he asked on the popular "Straight Talk" programme on Malawi's Capital Radio.
He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders.
When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public.

Erm, I don't think the odd release of flatulence is going to make much difference..

Originally Posted by somtamslap

passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."

A misdemeanour? Is that it? They're doing something fundamentally wrong..

news travels slowly on the Isaan jungle drums then

Originally Posted by Mid

news travels slowly on the Isaan jungle drums then

This an oldie then?

Originally Posted by somtamslap

They're doing something fundamentally wrong

Jesus H Christ, Slap I couldn't decide whether to green you or red you for that so, in keeping with the topic, I've decide to brown you.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

This an oldie then?

Not in Isaan , carry on

Fuck it!
Let it rip.
Arrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh!
That's better.
Whoooee, min.

Originally Posted by Mid

Not in Isaan , carry on

Quite..and I'd just like to take this opportunity to express my delight in the recent discovery of gravitational pull..

Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Fuck it! Let it rip. Arrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh! That's better.

Just say you're in a crowded market place, as these types of countries more often than not have..HOW THE FUCK are you going to decide upon the deliverer of flatulence?

If this law comes to pass I'm going there..with a suitcase full of baked beans and brussel sprouts..

Misdemeanour my arse...folk'll be dropping like flies..

if it's on public transport
especially if some smelly cnut
has been on the piss alnite.
rush hour on the london tubes in the mornin
and ure foked ,
cause there's nowhere to walk away too.

dropped my guts in the office yesterday after a big weekend on the piss cleared the room thats got to be worth 6 months at least

What would happen to those that farted in a crowded prison cell?

^ in a cell full of blokes that had been arrested for farting ?????????

Obviously they dont drink Guiness in Menali..
Sorry my bad. Malawi

How on Earth did the UK miss this one?