Thread: Members not suitable to be idiots.

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

There is a good reason i read the Sun.

The Sun..bit posh innit..ahhh...I understand now..you just buy it for the breasts and Dear Deirdre

Because I do stretching exercises, I can bite my toenails - but not after a day wearing sandals.

Because I do stretching exercises, I can fellate myself to quite a splendid climax - but not after a day wearing speedos.

Scampy in shock sandal disclosure.

Today, Scamp revealed that he wears sandals whilst exercising his wrist.
In a full and candid confession he said " plimpsolls are for musclemen".

plimpsolls

Now there's a word I haven't heard in years!

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

There are far to many sensible posters on this forum.

There's only one, kid.

Speedos not for cocksuckers shock.

An expert in mono fellatio claims that speedos make your knackersack taste like sweaty bollocks.
Somtamslap (57), of no fixed eyes, has a large collection of soiled fruit and a David Carradine poster he would like to auction off.

Schizzo milkperson shags goats confession.

WITHNALLSTOKE IN RECORD BREAKING TRAFFIC CONE UP THE SHITTER ATTEMPT

David Blaine copycat, Withnallstoke (12) is attempting to out do his hero by inserting a traffic cone, stolen from a road works down the A3, into his anal passage for the rest of his life. When asked if this would be an illusionist's prank, Withnall, replied in the negative.."Fook off dook..now fetch me mallet and start 'ammering will yer"..

Follow the story www.sadomasachisticnorthernwankers.com

Originally Posted by somtamslap

www.sadomasachisticnorthernwankers.com

Foook. The links bost.

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

plimpsolls

Now there's a word I haven't heard in years!

Yup, talk about blast from the past. Normally associated with military issued 'training' shoes, typically made of canvas, and scrubbed and whitened as a form of recreation!

Cone horror oop north.

The latest attempt at conal anal has had to be declared void after the attemptor sneezed moments after full insertion, and judge Dread was sparked out by the blunt end of a cone. In the ensuing melee, a second judge was also knocked unconscious by another cone believed to have come from the anus of the attemptor.
Withnallstokes lawyers apologised on his behalf, and offered the explanation that " he forgot to remove the practice cone from this mornings session."

WITHNALLSTOKE IN LINK 'BOSTING' PROBE

A riot squad were deployed at an allotment shed in Upper Bunghole today after an emergency call by a stunned pensioner. Elsie Wankworth, (107) from Bottomsworth, was walking her pet poodle, when she heard a fracas coming from a shed in the allotment..the door of the shed was supposedly flung open and a traffic cone on legs burst it's way out..Elsie then tells of her horror as the cone seemed to converse with her..."I AM THE WEAKEST LINK, it bellowed..

Apparently, Stoke had just lost at home to Port Vale..

Follow the story at www.weakestlinkwithtrafficconeuparse.com

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

There are far to many sensible posters on this forum. They should be banned from everywhere outside of news and issues. I would much rather read and partake in a rambling about Scampys toenails or DJPats latest attempt to sire a three thumbed thingy. There is a good reason i read the Sun.

Originally Posted by dirtydog

hear hear, and now we have a nice long list in this forum to peruse and decide which scum to ban from the top half forever more.

he has a point though.

Sir Wilson points the finger

Earlier today, an androgynous manicured finger was pointed.
Under interrogation, the owner blurrted out "Oi somtam, i thought you only did this to yourself. I only came in here for a laugh. Ya bastard."

Vee have vayz of making you talk...

OOPz. Somtam spitz his own.

After an evening bent double in the wardrobe, somtam spat the contents of himself onto his keyboard and made some of the keyz sticky.
"Nrf icken comment" was nearly all that was forthcoming.

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

plimpsolls

Now there's a word I haven't heard in years!

kind of goes hand in hand with satchell i thought

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

plimpsolls

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

Now there's a word I haven't heard in years!

You Poms are fucking weird.

Mate has Miggins handed the baton to you and to carry on some macabre internet relay rant tradition?

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

Speedos not for cocksuckers shock.

Originally Posted by nigelandjan

The very word ( plimsole ) still strikes fear into me some 50 years later.

Need I say more!

So this means I gotta be more sensible? No more MKP?