Thread: Doubts and second thoughts

^^ You could consider Nong Khai as well. It's probably cheaper than Chiang Mai but it's not going to have modern golf courses, etc.

If you want to go to Thailand you have to you it for yourself. Doing it only for your wife or daughter is going to make you miserable.

I'm going there for myself because I want to travel in Asia (will be much cheaper to do it from Thailand than the U.S.), I want to make my own house the way I want without some BS homeowner's association legally preventing me from making it the way I want, I want a place with a good exchange rate so that my savings will last a long time, and, I want to go somewhere where the food is good, cheap, and plentiful. I had these plans before I got married and my wife makes it easier to accomplish it due to her citizenship status there.

Strange enough my first option was Vietnam. I almost married a sister of a Vietnamese cook I knew many years ago.

Surasak,

You mentioned you have kids. So what are your long term plans for their schooling ? Are you willing to let them be schooled there ? How did you come to that conclusion?

^
If I'm fortunate enough to have children in the future, there are 2 or 3 schools in ChiangMai that I would be more than happy to take care of her education. I base this judgement on first hand experience of the type of students they consistently produce.

My daughter is in a private school in Nong Khai. She's 8 and already learning Mandarin and English along with Thai and Lao. It costs about $250 per period or about $500 per year. I checked it out and it looks decent to me. I think I would rather have her and my son go that route rather than the public schools here during primary education. Once she reaches Jr. High age I'll probably have her come here to complete high school. Same with my son, and, by then they can choose whether to return to Thailand for college or go here.

In any case I want them to have dual citizenship so they can choose. I'm already getting my son a Thai passport from the consulate in LA and he will go to Thailand for primary school (private school).

My daughter is also 8. The school we planned to send her to in Nakhonsawan costs right around 12,000 baht per year. The school I looked at in BKK was around 56,000 baht per year.

I think I know what your saying about public schools in the US. That is why I also spend alot of time thinking about pursuing work that will allow me to send my daughter to DoDDS schools in overseas locations. These school are fantastic and are considered to be as good as many private schools. graduating seniors beat the national average for the SAT and ACT year in and year out. As long as I get a job that SOFA sponsors me then the school is part of the bargain.

This is the thing also ... I'm used to travelling and moving about every three years. It's very possible that I can get a job in somewhere like here, Okinawa, Italy, Singapore, Korea, Spain and even England or possibly Brussels. All these places I get the schooling for my daughter.

I'm appreciating the time you guys are taking to engage me on this.

One thing I'm going to do is hit the RESUMIX data base soon as start fishing for a job. That is going to take some time and could affect my plans as late as February depending on if any job offers roll in.

All kinds of pokers in the fire ... like I said. It ain't easy. Sometimes I think I'm a fool for even thinking about wearing a tie when I'm set to wear shorts and zorries for the rest of my life.

I'm still not convinced that I need to be worrying so much about my step-daughter.

Surasak ... here's another thing ... did you know that my wife will not be eligible for my SS benefits if she never lives in the states for 5 consecutive years ?

She should get yours provided you are married for 10 years.

There was a law passed in 1996 that was part of the welfare reform legislation which denies benefits to legal immigrants for a period of 5 years from time of entry. This means no Medicaid, no SS, nothing. If a legal immigrant has serious threatening injuries (risk to life) then they can get emergency medical services only. All other injuries will not be eligible for coverage. (This is what irks me when I see the protests here clamoring for legal rights for illegal immigrants...I went through the process legally and my wife can't get legal benefits, so, what gives them the right to protest when they broke the law?)

I found this out after my wife got pregnant. Luckily pregnancy is one of those conditions and the prenatal care and delivery were covered. At least I got some return on my taxes over the past 8 years here

I wouldn't trust my children in public schools now. They were already starting to get crappy when I graduated. I couldn't imagine going to one now. If it were up to me they'd stay in Thailand in private schools until completion. But it's better for them to learn English properly and stay here to do that. It's my opinion that learning Mandarin will be a requirement for international work soon due to China's influence.


In the end you have to decide for yourself and go forward. There are no certainties in life no matter what you choose.

Originally Posted by surasak

She should get yours provided you are married for 10 years.

This is the kind of info that really helps me out. Are you sure about the 10 year rule ? As long as we're married 10 years she'll get my SS even if she never sets foot in the US ever ? Can you help me verify this?

Oops, cancel that thought. I forgot to add that what I posted applies if you are married 10 or more years, you divorce, and then you die. Ex-wives that are married for 10 or more years can receive benefits. I don't think there's a time limit regarding current spouse (i.e. you could marry one day, die the next, and your 'new' wife should be eligible for death benefits provided she's over 60).

Gimme a short period of time. Right now it's kitchen time

Ok, here's the scoop. In a nutshell your wife and/or your daughter are going to have to have green cards in order to collect SS benefits from your account AND reside in the U.S. for a minimum of 5 years. Generally aliens may not collect benefits unless certain special conditions are met (very specific conditions which are difficult to meet).

In short:

Notwithstanding any other provision of this title, no monthly benefits shall be paid under this section or under section 223 to any individual who is not a citizen or national of the United States for any month which is—

(A) after the sixth consecutive calendar month during all of which the Commissioner of Social Security finds, on the basis of information furnished to the Commissioner by the Attorney General or information which otherwise comes to the Commissioner's attention, that such individual is outside the United States, and
(B) prior to the first month thereafter for all of which such individual has been in the United States.

Contrary to that there are exceptions which may be affected due to social insurance treaties between the United States and other countries. This is a messy topic and you're going to find it easier to get them green cards and have them reside in the U.S. for 5 years.

Social Security Act §202

Look for the section entitled 'Suspension of Benefits of Aliens Who Are Outside the United States; Residency Requirements for Dependents and Survivors ' if you want to peruse the mess yourself.

Thank you very much surasak. You just confirmed exactly what the old dude at JUSMAGTHAI has been telling people for years.

^What about military retirement? Are you going to collect? Can a foreign spouse collect?

Originally Posted by surasak

^What about military retirement? Are you going to collect? Can a foreign spouse collect?

I'll be taking the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP). I refuse to take the entire amount because I've only been married 3 of 28 years to her.

She'll get a reduced amount but will still be more than any TEFLer makes in Nakhonsawan

SBP is very expensive so most retirees don't take it unless they're over 50+ years old.

So yes ... she will collect and there are no restrictions on foreign born spouses.

Maybe that's the better way to go then. If you aren't going to make use of benefits of being a LPR then no sense bothering with green cards. Although for the daughter it might be beneficial moreso than the wife. She could later then sponsor her mother to come to the U.S.

Mood change today ... looking at pictures of kitchens has me longing for Thailand again

Originally Posted by Storekeeper

Thank you very much surasak. You just confirmed exactly what the old dude at JUSMAGTHAI has been telling people for years.

I used to go to Justmeg off of Sathorn with my Marine buddy.

Nice place; nice people.

Originally Posted by Milkman

Originally Posted by Storekeeper

Thank you very much surasak. You just confirmed exactly what the old dude at JUSMAGTHAI has been telling people for years.

I used to go to Justmeg off of Sathorn with my Marine buddy.

Nice place; nice people.

Real "Marlboro Lights" to be had as well ... Sold in the cafeteria.

Are you sure it was just the kitchens that changed your mind?

Originally Posted by surasak

Are you sure it was just the kitchens that changed your mind?

Every once in a while I think about smoking a joint

Originally Posted by Storekeeper

Last I remember checking the American School In Bangkok is about 400,000 baht per year. I'd hope to hell I could make 30,000 baht a month in BKK and that would mean 360,000 a year to use for school.

mate i dont normally name and shame.... but i stronyl recommend staying away from ASB.

PM AO he sounds happy and it would be more like your situation....


BTW 400,000 per year ++

(ie excursions, books, building funds, application fee, blah blah)

Originally Posted by Milkman

Originally Posted by Storekeeper

I'm starting to have doubts about living in Thailand and questioning my motives for even wanting to try it.

This is starting to bug the hell out of me.

Any suggestions on how I get past the jitters I'm starting to feel ?

These thoughts can be common for people.

You've also done the same work for a very long time and there will be other changes, too. Even though planned, significant change can lead to questioning and even some forms of mild anxiety.

Best way perhaps, is to "just do it."

You can always leave if you want to.

agreed - move here a year or so. set yourself a timeline / probahtion period. (i'm assuming that you could still go back Japan then if u wanted to)

and dont worry abt moving the kid around - they are resilient.

its a big change - you'd be stoopid NOT to be feeling some concerns about your decision.

thats the thing about big decisions - you're never sure if you are correct or not!

Originally Posted by Storekeeper

Every once in a while I think about smoking a joint

Then go to the US it tastes better, works better and is more prevelant.
I smoke a helluva lot less here than I did in the States, not for lack of availability; it just ain't near as good as the Killer Green back home.

The latest twist is now my 8 year old step-daughter is trying to manipulate me into staying here in Japan. Just a handful of months ago she was all rarin' to go with heading back to Thailand.

For those who don't know ... I got married in March 2004. Without any coaxin' ... I told me then girl friend to start building a house and to have it done before the weddin' ... my main reason was so my two step-kids would have a better place to live in than the shack they were in. All the while the plan being we would retire there after a couple more years in the USN.

Now here it is about 2 1/2 years later and the daughter is here with us in Japan and the son is livin' in Nakhonsawan to attend a better high school. And now somehow I'm in this position of worryin' 'bout my daughter's education instead of kickin' back like my original plan.

We got this big ass piece of land with a house less than three years old on it and I'd planned on building another for about 1.5 mill when I got back ... but if I let this education thing for my step-daughter dictate my direction then it will be at least be 9 more years before I can actually enjoy the damn place. It's actually called Taphan Hin vice Phichit.

yawn...