Thread: The "back, crack and sack" waxed metrosexual monkey boys are out

fcuk off perfumed poofs

'Metro gives way to muscle' in downturn


IT'S out with the metrosexual man and in with the hairy blue collar worker thanks to the global financial crisis.
One of the country's leading demographers, Bernard Salt, says that if evolutionary theory is correct, women have started - or are about to start - turning to stronger, bigger men.
"During the downturn the theory is that women are concerned about safety, security, food supply and so their taste in men will shift from the androgynous hairless metrosexual towards the more muscular primal hairy male,'' Salt said.
"It will unfold over the next 12 months or so.''
Analysing competitors in the Cleo Bachelor of the Year competition, Salt, who is also author of the book Man Drought, said he believed the type of men in favour could change next year.
"You might find a very subtle shift in the type of celebrity male or desired male body shape might shift from hairless, sleek, a bit wimpy to the more muscular,'' he said.
On a global stage, he said actors like Leonardo DiCaprio and Zac Efron may become less popular with female fans, while Tom Selleck lookalikes would be back at the top.
And he believed tradesmen would start being very popular.
"There's a bit of brawn, muscular, a bit of honest sweat. I'm sure that's quite appealing to some women and the market for that will expand,'' he said.
"Many tradies are actually making an absolute fortune.
"If you look at a man as an investment after 20 years they've established their own business they can be quite successful - so I think tradies for ladies should not be underestimated.''
In 1986, the first Cleo competition was held, and, like today, the shortlist included actors and musicians such as James Reyne, Gary Sweet and Hugo Weaving.
These days the list is still made up of many actors, dancers, sports stars, but Salt says the men on the list are taller, have bigger feet, and are younger.
"I wonder in fact if this is a sociological shift in women's thinking,'' Salt said.
"Twenty years ago women were eying off a bachelor as husband material, in which case you're sort of looking at something a little older perhaps.
"I think women now entirely think differently, they're sort of more emancipated, more free in their thinking.''
Salt also noted bachelor contestants are more sexualised today.
In the 1986 spread most men appeared fully clothed in suits and ties, while nowadays they're all in their underwear.
"It's the objectification of men, the 'we can do it too','' Salt said.
"It's terrific fun. It shows a greater confidence in women.''

Originally Posted by baldrick

One of the country's leading demographers, Bernard Salt, says that if evolutionary theory is correct, women have started - or are about to start - turning to stronger, bigger men. "During the downturn the theory is that women are concerned about safety, security, food supply and so their taste in men will shift from the androgynous hairless metrosexual towards the more muscular primal hairy male,'' Salt said. "It will unfold over the next 12 months or so.''

Bollocks.

Its fashion not evolution.

i,m a bit of a traddie, we moved into the new house and she wanted her stuff hung from the walls so i said you can,t just screw in hooks willey nilley you need to find the batons behind the plaster, so she asked how do i do that i told her to go get a studd finder, well she got one, bloody thing i can,t use it, every time i pick it up it goes off....

Originally Posted by nedwalk

bloody thing i can,t use it, every time i pick it up it goes off....

are you really as thick as a piece of 2 by 4 ? or is it detecting the press studs on your "adult diaper"

Originally Posted by nedwalk

i,m a bit of a traddie, we moved into the new house and she wanted her stuff hung from the walls so i said you can,t just screw in hooks willey nilley you need to find the batons behind the plaster, so she asked how do i do that i told her to go get a studd finder, well she got one, bloody thing i can,t use it, every time i pick it up it goes off....

I got it ned, fooking PMSL

Are there really places where blokes go for this treatment, or is it just cover for a BDSM brothel?

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Its fashion not evolution.

KW, some of us have always had the brains to go for what we want and not follow fashion...

so bring on the smelly, burping hairy real men then.....

I think they are called Bears, no?

knock yourselves out!

Originally Posted by kingwilly

so bring on the smelly, burping hairy real men then.....

Aaah, so shaving your legs stops you burping? Betcha don't fart, either? Or if you do it smells of CKOne.

Originally Posted by November Rain

Betcha don't fart, either? Or if you do it smells of CKOne.

oh god, absolutely not.

that would imply that I am either putting too much cologne or restricting myself to a single brand only.

Cologne can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Most men make the mistake of thinking they need to choose a single scent for themselves. The truth is modern colognes enhance your sartorial decisions and add dimension to the way you present yourself to the world. Therefore, just as you have more than one pair of shoes, you should have more than one scent to call upon.

Knowing cologne basics so that you choose the right scent for the right occasion is, perhaps, the most underrated of skills. If you choose wisely and apply sparingly, only a few people will know and appreciate your olfactory considerations. Choose poorly and apply liberally and you’ll saunter through the day leaving expensive contrails of eau de too much behind you as others hold their breath.

So, be an expert scent wearer by following our guide to cologne basics.
cologne faq

Where to wear it?

Wearing cologne to work is generally acceptable, but cologne almost becomes a necessary fashion accessory when going out at night. A light citrus-based scent is perfect for an afternoon outing, but a special evening out calls for a stronger scent with spice undertones or musky notes that will mix with your own natural pheromones.
Where to spray it?

Cologne basics stipulate that applying cologne strategically is more important than you think. A little under each ear ensures that a woman leaning in close to talk will take note of your scent. Your face and chin are the obvious spots, but your chest is the best location for the cologne to mix with your own natural scent and slowly make itself known as it wafts toward your collar.
When to wear it?

You’ll need more than one cologne since what you apply for the daylight hours simply won’t meet the mood and atmosphere of the night. A light citrus scent or woods-based scent are perfect for daytime activities, like work. Nighttime, however, requires a scent with deeper mystery. Thus, you’ll want to use a cologne with spicy notes or a musk-based scent.
How much to wear?

Treat your cologne as a secret you share with only a few people -- or at least those within your close personal space. Apply a very sparse amount under each ear and on your torso. You may not think this is enough, but cologne actually mixes with your body and intensifies over time. Far too many men make the mistake of applying more because they cannot smell it when they first spray it on, or they shake out a palm full because think they need more. The truth is: A well-chosen cologne applied in small amounts will get your more attention than if you bathed in it.

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Where to wear it? Wearing cologne to work is generally acceptable, but cologne almost becomes a necessary fashion accessory when going out at night. A light citrus-based scent is perfect for an afternoon outing, but a special evening out calls for a stronger scent with spice undertones or musky notes that will mix with your own natural pheromones. Where to spray it? Cologne basics stipulate that applying cologne strategically is more important than you think. A little under each ear ensures that a woman leaning in close to talk will take note of your scent. Your face and chin are the obvious spots, but your chest is the best location for the cologne to mix with your own natural scent and slowly make itself known as it wafts toward your collar. When to wear it? You’ll need more than one cologne since what you apply for the daylight hours simply won’t meet the mood and atmosphere of the night. A light citrus scent or woods-based scent are perfect for daytime activities, like work. Nighttime, however, requires a scent with deeper mystery. Thus, you’ll want to use a cologne with spicy notes or a musk-based scent. How much to wear? Treat your cologne as a secret you share with only a few people -- or at least those within your close personal space. Apply a very sparse amount under each ear and on your torso. You may not think this is enough, but cologne actually mixes with your body and intensifies over time. Far too many men make the mistake of applying more because they cannot smell it when they first spray it on, or they shake out a palm full because think they need more. The truth is: A well-chosen cologne applied in small amounts will get your more attention than if you bathed in it.

OMG! How girly is that? Substitute 'perfume' for 'cologne' and you got a Cosmo article.

Originally Posted by November Rain

Substitute 'perfume' for 'cologne' and you got a Cosmo article.

and 100% correct, what's wrong with that?

My first ex wife used to get horny just smelling my raw armpits.