Had the immersion tank tested today, not one of those ooh er matron moments, legit.

Anyway the team pitch up and its a well spoken lad and an orange beachball of a young lady who he's obviously showing the ropes to.

Checks over he knocks on the door and upon opening it he's chatting away telling me the outcome but i didn't hear a word he said. I clocked the girl and she's proper orange, she has the most ridiculous false eyelashes and to top it off you can see her natural eyebrows which she looks like she's shaved and are brown then about 5mm above has taken a black sharpie and had a go at a do it yourself version of what she's seen in the magazines. To complement the ensemble she's married it all up with a couple of red clown cheeks and that over applied lipstick that made her look like someone had punched her in the mouth.

He stopped talking and it went quiet and it was then i realised i was staring at her face. He tapped me on the arm and it was clear i'd not heard a word he said and he then proceeded to repeat it all again, i still didn't get all of it. It was all i could do to stop myself saying wtf have you done to your face. I just mumbled something whilst he passed me his inspection paper.

More and more lately i am convinced girls see something else when the look in the mirror than what i'm looking at.