I am going to fcuk my ex to death

**nigelandjan** · 22-01-2015, 01:01 AM

Presumably these get delivered flatpack ,, so by the time I had blown it up I would be in no position to be able to satisfy it .

BTW ,, do the more expensive ones come with some sort of puncture outfit ?

**wasabi** · 22-01-2015, 01:39 AM

The Sun newspaper has stopped Page 3 .
The free publicity on the BBC has gained victory for the Feminists on "Women's Hour"
What killed page 3 TITs in "The Sun " was Teakdoor Tits in T shirts.

**david44** · 22-01-2015, 01:41 AM

Originally Posted by nigelandjan

Presumably these get delivered flatpack ,, so by the time I had blown it up I would be in no position to be able to satisfy it .

BTW ,, do the more expensive ones come with some sort of puncture outfit ?

One of those days when men give dolls a blowjob,

Might be handy on planes semi inflated as neck cusion,

I imagine in economy you'd have to blow yer own but on Korean first class a kneelimg steward will do it for you,of course if you like dogs can cut out the middle doll.

Plasticmacadamia from the valley of the dolls

**BaitongBoy** · 22-01-2015, 01:49 AM

Does he have "skull and crossbone" suspenders?...Fookin weirdo...

**BaitongBoy** · 22-01-2015, 01:54 AM

Originally Posted by nigelandjan

so by the time I had blown it up I would be in no position to be able to satisfy it .

Heh...Made me laugh...Need one where you just pull a tab and she "springs to life"...

**kmart** · 22-01-2015, 09:15 AM

I'm tempted. Some of those dolls look really lifelike. And probably more animated than a couple of ex's in my past..

**chassamui** · 22-01-2015, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by quimbian corholla

I bet they won't squirm and complain as much as the real girls either.

Don't confuse squirming and complaining with orgasm and cries of ecstasy.

**chassamui** · 22-01-2015, 10:36 AM

Originally Posted by nigelandjan

Presumably these get delivered flatpack ,, so by the time I had blown it up I would be in no position to be able to satisfy it .

BTW ,, do the more expensive ones come with some sort of puncture outfit?

Very funny mate. Another reason for advocates of the real thing. Batteries not included., solar powered wifey.

The more expensive ones come with a pre-programmed, 'Oh my god Nigel that was amazing' and a free hand pump.

**OhOh** · 22-01-2015, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by quimbian corholla

I was aroused by it. I bet they won't squirm and complain as much as the real girls either.

I'm sure you can request a tailored commentary when you place the doll order.

A selection of scenarious:

1. She's back home from her night out "with the girls" and needs to be "topped up".
2. She's run up her credit card bill and needs to be punished.
3. The kids are all out for the afternoon and she asks if you "have a moment"
4. You've been out for a night with the boys but she is so happy you have come home to her. What do you want her to do for you tonight?

.........

Happy to supply the MP3 file requests for a fee, cash or hoe time.

Topic, duration, religion and comedy will obviously determine the fee.

**Cujo** · 22-01-2015, 12:09 PM

I wondered what those meathooks in the closet were for.

**thailazer** · 22-01-2015, 02:06 PM

Now to select my favorite penguin photos.....

**patsycat** · 23-01-2015, 01:37 AM

Originally Posted by November Rain

Those things freak me out. Almost as much as men that dress as living dolls.

And would us women go around dressed in a rubber Brad Pitt outfit? I don't think so.

Almost like a lot of peoples - clown phobia. Which i do suffer from.

Freaky is not the word. That man lives with 240 of them plus his wife. How can he tell which one is her?

Perhaps meat hook was a bit OTT. But the ones i have seen that these men order come in a crate, no blowing up involved. And they have a hook on the back of their necks to hang them up. To be able to dress them and pamper them more productively. And the dolls have life like skin.

This is one of the funniest threads i have read for a long time!!

It's probably like those weird women who have those life like doll babies that they pamper and dress up etc. only on a rather bigger scale.

**BaitongBoy** · 23-01-2015, 03:38 AM

Originally Posted by patsycat

a rather bigger scale.

A lot nastier, too...

**November Rain** · 23-01-2015, 06:01 AM

^^ No undue reference to anyone on TD (but hey, if the cap fits guys!) Pats, but I'm increasingly thinking that men are f*cking weird...

**KEVIN2008** · 23-01-2015, 06:30 AM

Two very old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town.

After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager:

‘Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed.

These two are so old and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them.

They won’t know the difference.’

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.

As they are walking home the first man says, ‘You know, I think my girl was dead!’

‘Dead?’ says his friend, ‘Why do you say that?’

‘Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her.

‘ His friend says, ‘Could be worse I think mine was a witch.’

‘A witch ??. . why the hell would you say that?’

‘Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window….. took my teeth with her!’

**patsycat** · 23-01-2015, 06:43 AM

Originally Posted by November Rain

^^ No undue reference to anyone on TD (but hey, if the cap fits guys!) Pats, but I'm increasingly thinking that men are f*cking weird...

Sorry, i was a bit late.

Just slipping on my Jonny Depp suit, all baby powdered up. Goshy goshy that feels good.

Weird, NR, they are absolutely not at all obviously better than us. At least we can fit the suits.

**importford** · 23-01-2015, 11:33 AM

do they also manufacture lifelike silicone sheep????

**Bettyboo** · 23-01-2015, 11:37 AM

Originally Posted by patsycat

Freaky is not the word. That man lives with 240 of them plus his wife. How can he tell which one is her?

Sex doll:

Wife:

Most men are very skilled at telling the difference (although something in the water in Thailand seems to null this natural ability...).

**patsycat** · 23-01-2015, 12:09 PM

No, that's his mother. He's filled the house up so much that she has been relegated to the garden.

**chassamui** · 23-01-2015, 02:12 PM

If one of these things prevents a rape or an act of sexual violence against a real female, then I'm all for it.
I include goats and sheep in this, unless it's done in a loving way with mutual consent.

**ltnt** · 24-01-2015, 09:33 AM

^Sort of where the rubber meets the road?

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