Thread: Poll: nothing?

Please see the poll question above, and add your wisdom.

I don't know.

I have no thoughts on the issue. You know negation theory, right?

Nihilism?..

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

You know negation theory, right?

No

^you're negating something, it's a double intensive process that foregrounds the thing being negated. Come on, NR, blimey O Reiley...

That's right - welcome to the buffalo board...

Heh...Goats are pretty cool, too...and fish...

Not been drinking nothing tonight, I see.

If this thread doesn't get me to 100 pages, I don't know what will!

You oughta be redded for such blatant century thread whoring!

^ any thread that gets a picture of Zelda in it deserves extra credit, me thinks.

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

Come on, NR, blimey O Reiley...

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Not been drinking nothing tonight, I see.

Too much, or not enough? The wrong amount anyway to see that I replied to his negation thread with a negative. The smiley was because "No" isn't 5 letters long - forum roolz...

It's all very confusing, NR. Please try and keep it simple for me, that smiley just screwed up me social semiotic intake. It's like having a man (or woman!) waving you on through a red traffic light.

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

It's all very confusing, NR.

You're telling me. Between this thread and Gravey's new "check the time of each post" rule, I feel like I'm in an episode of the Twilight Zone

Originally Posted by November Rain

Gravey's new "check the time of each post" rule

I haven't seen that thread. Is it worth searching out?

BTW, NR, you seem to have forgotten what was on your shopping list. I'm not saying anything, but:

I say we take this thread to the century level...Bettyboo deserves nothing less...

^I'm not talking posts here, I mean pages!

If Fluke's thread can get 60 odd pages when he tried to tell somebody to stand up for the Thai national anthem, then this masterpiece will probably break the spine of the internet!

Of course, I did have a very lengthy thread once before, I remember it fondly, it was on guns, our American brothers got fully involved. I can't remember if it reached 100 pages or not, it was well on the way, but I posted a few pictures on various threads that DD didn't like and me gun thread was no more... Oh, the memories...

Bollocks this'll run out of steam in the mid '60s.... at best!

0r I am a monkey's uncle.

^^Maybe Annie Get YourGun, again?...

Ffs a thread on guns is like a thread on evolution or AntRobert..... like shooting fish in a barrel

Originally Posted by kingwilly

0r I am a monkey's uncle.

Hmmm...

Nothing is a big something when your something turns to nothing

Sorry, I can't be arsed to not care.

I only vote in open polls ;
I hate hidden polls they are sooooooooooooooooooooooo gay .
So I'll add a big fat nothing to this thread -
and here it is :

.......But now here's the third command: Machine, do Nothing!"
The machine sat still. Klapaucius rubbed his hands in triumph, but Trurl said:
"Well, what did you expect? You asked it to do nothing, and it's doing nothing."
"Correction: I asked it to do Nothing, but it's doing nothing."
"Nothing is nothing!"
"Come, come. It was supposed to do Nothing, but it hasn't done anything, and therefore I've won. For Nothing, my dear and clever colleague, is not your run-of-the-mill nothing, the result of idleness and inactivity, but dynamic, aggressive Nothingness, that is to say, perfect, unique, ubiquitous, in other words Nonexistence, ultimate and supreme, in its very own nonperson!"
"You're confusing the machine!" cried Trurl. But suddenly its metallic voice rang out:
"Really, how can you two bicker at a time like this? Oh yes, I know what Nothing is, and Nothingness, Nonexistence, Nonentity, Negation, Nullity and Nihility, since all these come under the heading of n, n as in Nil. Look then upon your world for the last time, gentlemen! Soon it shall no longer be…"
The constructors froze, forgetting their quarrel, for the machine was in actual fact doing Nothing, and it did it in this fashion: one by one, various things were removed from the world, and the things, thus removed, ceased to exist, as if they had never been. The machine had already disposed of nolars, nightzebs, nocs, necs, nallyrakers, neotremes and nonmalrigers. At moments, though, it seemed that instead of reducing, diminishing and subtracting, the machine was increasing, enhancing and adding, since it liquidated, in turn: nonconformists, nonentities, nonsense, nonsupport, nearsightedness, narrowmindedness, naughtiness, neglect, nausea, necrophilia and nepotism. But after a while the world very definitely began to thin out around Trurl and Klapaucius.
"Omigosh!" said Trurl. "If only nothing bad comes out of all this…"
"Don't worry," said Klapaucius. "You can see it's not producing Universal Nothingness, but only causing the absence of whatever starts with n. Which is really nothing in the way of nothing, and nothing is what your machine, dear Trurl, is worth!"
"Do not be deceived," replied the machine. "I've begun, it's true, with everything in n, but only out of familiarity. To create however is one thing, to destroy, another thing entirely. I can blot out the world for the simple reason that I'm able to do anything and everything—and everything means everything—in n, and consequently Nothingness is child's play for me. In less than a minute now you will cease to have existence, along with everything else, so tell me now, Klapaucius, and quickly, that I am really and truly everything I was programmed to be, before it is too late."
"But—" Klapaucius was about to protest, but noticed, just then, that a number of things were indeed disappearing, and not merely those that started with n. The constructors were no longer surrounded by the gruncheons, the targalisks, the shupops, the calinatifacts, the thists, worches and pritons.
"Stop! I take it all back! Desist! Whoa! Don't do Nothing!!" screamed Klapaucius. But before the machine could come to a full stop, all the brashations, plusters, laries and zits had vanished away. Now the machine stood motionless. The world was a dreadful sight. The sky had particularly suffered: there were only a few, isolated points of light in the heavens—no trace of the glorious worches and zits that had, till now, graced the horizon!
"Great Gauss!" cried Klapaucius. "And where are the gruncheons? Where my dear, favorite pritons? Where now the gentle zits?!"
"They no longer are, nor ever will exist again," the machine said calmly. "I executed, or rather only began to execute, your order…"
"I tell you to do Nothing, and you… you…"
"Klapaucius, don't pretend to be a greater idiot than you are," said the machine. "Had I made Nothing outright, in one fell swoop, everything would have ceased to exist, and that includes Trurl, the sky, the Universe, and you—and even myself. In which case who could say and to whom could it be said that the order was carried out and I am an efficient and capable machine? And if no one could say it to no one, in what way then could I, who also would not be, be vindicated?"
"Yes, fine, let's drop the subject," said Klapaucius. "I have nothing more to ask of you, only please, dear machine, please return the zits, for without them life loses all its charm …"
"But I can't, they're in z," said the machine. "Of course, I can restore nonsense, narrowmindedness, nausea, necrophilia, neuralgia, nefariousness and noxiousness. As for the other letters, however, I can't help you."
"I want my zits!" bellowed Klapaucius.
"Sorry, no zits," said the machine. "Take a good look at this world, how riddled it is with huge, gaping holes, how full of Nothingness, the Nothingness that fills the bottomless void between the stars, how everything about us has become lined with it, how it darkly lurks behind each shred of matter. This is your work, envious one! And I hardly think the future generations will bless you for it…"
"Perhaps… they won't find out, perhaps they won't notice," groaned the pale Klapaucius, gazing up incredulously at the black emptiness of space and not daring to look his colleague, Trurl, in the eye. Leaving him beside the machine that could do everything in n, Klapaucius skulked home—and to this day the world has remained honeycombed with nothingness, exactly as it was when halted in the course of its liquidation. And as all subsequent attempts to build a machine on any other letter met with failure, it is to be feared that never again will we have such marvelous phenomena as the worches and the zits—no, never again.

How The World Was Saved

Didn't know this was a competition.

Will proceed accordingly from here on out.