Thread: DJs

Study Reveals One In Four New DJs Run The Risk Of Becoming A Kunt
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A study carried out by London South Bank University’s Sociology Department has revealed that one in four people taking up DJing run the risk of becoming an absolute kunt.

The news comes at a worrying time after a record amount of DJ equipment was sold in the English capital over the Christmas period, with some experts saying that as much as ten percent of London’s population, a whopping eight hundred thousand people, could become cunts through DJing by the year 2017.

Professor Anne Onimous spoke to Wunderground about the study’s findings, “We’ve been following the careers of one hundred up and coming DJs in London over the past two years. They’ve had varying degrees of success and the majority of them are now playing gigs in the city’s bars and clubs.”

“The study was originally set up to find out how difficult it was for DJs to find work in a flourishing underground scene but when we noticed the trend of nice guys becoming absolute cunts for no apparent reason we shifted our focus,” explained the professor. “The results were shocking to say the least.”

“One in four people showed increased levels of arrogance, deceitfulness, belligerence, over-confidence and self-involvement,” she claimed. “So basically they became cunts!” she addeded with authority.

“There is no direct link between the levels of success achieved by the DJs and the development of cuntish traits, we’ve seen cunts at both ends of the success spectrum,” commented Anne. “It’s nearly as if some of the people were predestined to become cunts and merely owning and using the equipment was enough to trigger a response in their subconscious, it’s fascinating stuff.”

“If people want to see an example of how the art of DJing has turned someone into a kunt they can look at the career of Calvin Harris,” offered the learned professor. “We all remember the likable, modest, funny young man who broke onto the scene back in 2007. Now look at him, he’s a total kunt.”

“These are really worrying statistics for the city of London, these numbers are just based on kunt DJs, when you add these to the number of regular cunts, politicians and Chelsea fans already in London it’s really shocking, we could be looking at a city with nearly one and a half million cunts in it in coming years,” she apprehensively concluded.

nice one!

I hate the waving of arms by DJs and even worse is when the crowd start doing it too, just because the DJ is.

Anybody can beat match nowadays, the skill is no more (it was much harder using vinyl) and most DJs have always been kunts anyway

I hate the DJs who think they're too cool to play the YMCA or the Bee Gees. You're a fucking DJ, man not some kind of musical genuis

I'm old skool so everytime i hear the word DJ i think of kiddyfiddlers of the BBC.

^ Dave Lee Travis - alledgedly i must add.

Not a cool time to think it's cool to be a DJ.

Sounds like a case of DJ envy.

Lugging 5 boxes of heavy vinyl records about in the old days wasn't much fun, a car full of equipment having to be unloaded and set up each night then taken down again at the end....oh yeah I really miss those days, I bet loads of people were jealous of me back then (in the mid 90s)

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

I hate the waving of arms by DJs and even worse is when the crowd start doing it too, just because the DJ is.

Them kunts at Cream and Gatecrasher

evidence of such posting in this very thread.