Thread: How can I secure my phone on the beach?

I'm going to sawadee-kaa land next week and i'm looking for clever and inventive ideas to prevent my phone getting robbed whilst im in the sea..

I'm the proud new owner of a nice shiny £600 Galaxy Note III and i really don't want to lose it.. I have previous history of losing smartphones in Thailand.


Few ideas already..

Bury it in the sand underneath my sunlounger.. (maybe someone will see it)

Get one of those portable safe thingies and secure it to the hair.. (maybe someone will see it and run off with teh whole sunlounger.. or hacksaw though the chair plastic

Give it to a geriatric beach masseuse to stash up her snatch.

Originally Posted by alwarner

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Give it to a geriatric beach masseuse to stash up her snatch.

ha ha

Second trip to Thailand, circa 2002 I was in Chaweng and decided to have a massage on the beach.

Geriatric Masseur was available so went for it. Proper horrible sea hag. Anyway, 150b one hour. Sound. Except for the fact that while I was lying on my front for some unexplainable reason she gave me a diamond cutter. A real stonking boner. The sort of thing that I think inspired the tale of King Arthur pulling the sword from the stone. Try as hard as I might - it wasn't going ANYWHERE!

"I do front now"

"errrrrrrr'

"Turn around please"

"Yeah about that"

My "joy de vivre" wouldn't fuck off so I ended up getting my shoulders rubbed by the thing that was chained up in the cellar in Goonies for 58 minutes.

Aging beach masseuses are the best.

Withnall will be along shortly to regale a tale, no doubt.

The rude, rude fucker!

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

secure it to the hair

Have to cut your head off...

Leave it at your hotel...

In Korea this northern summer almost every punter having a swim on Hyundai beach had a plastic ziploc bag on a cord round their neck with their phone in it.

I have not seen them for sale so not sure where you get them.

I would be worried about water getting in but then I suppose you could buy one of Betty's Xperia phones.

Lock it in the hotel room or the car. Are you sooooooooooooooooooo needy that you can't live without your phone long enough to go to the beach and enjoy yourself. That's like one of my real hates, which is assholes who take their phones to the gym.

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Lock it in the hotel room or the car. Are you sooooooooooooooooooo needy that you can't live without your phone long enough to go to the beach and enjoy yourself. That's like one of my real hates, which is assholes who take their phones to the gym.

What if you got some uni girls numbers that you are keeping track of ? I usually go to the beach for a whole day

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Lock it in the hotel room or the car. Are you sooooooooooooooooooo needy that you can't live without your phone long enough to go to the beach and enjoy yourself. That's like one of my real hates, which is assholes who take their phones to the gym.

For once I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Stay home or leave the phone

Put it in a condom, knot it, then take it with you in a bum bag or such

Originally Posted by Necron99

Put it in a condom, knot it, then take it with you in a bum bag or such

..or such, you mean stick it up his arse right? Sideways methinks.

with the assistance of some petroleum based lubricant insert phone into anus, after insertion apply super glue to sphincter to avoid possible water ingress.

Don't take it to the beach.

These things are a damn ball & chain enough w/out taking it somewhere you can get it ripped-off.

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Are you sooooooooooooooooooo needy that you can't live without your phone long enough to go to the beach and enjoy yourself.

He needs his phone with him because he has set up a profile on Badoo to try and score some free action. Thai girls have short attention span so they will not wait 2 hours for a reply.

Originally Posted by Necron99

Put it in a condom, knot it, then take it with you in a bum bag or such

Good idea.

Leave it in the condom even when you hit the gogo at night after striking out on Badoo to avoid it getting scratched

buy a 20 quid nokia for your trip.

Originally Posted by taxexile

buy a 20 quid nokia for your trip.

That's what I do. I love my shitty Thailand phones. Usually I get a trip or 2 out of them. The sim card can last for years too

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

I'm the proud new owner of a nice shiny £600 Galaxy Note III

Is this a coming out thread?

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

clever and inventive ideas to prevent my phone getting robbed whilst im in the sea..

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

a nice shiny £600 Galaxy Note III

Sell that piece of crap, buy an Xperia then take it in the sea with you, take some snaps and post them here:

Originally Posted by BaitongBoy

Leave it at your hotel...

Exactly.

Originally Posted by Looper

I have not seen them for sale so not sure where you get them.

Sailing shops have them.

I'm going to sawadee-kaa land next week and i'm looking for clever and inventive ideas to prevent my phone getting robbed whilst im in the sea..

are you so important, so invaluable, so insecure, so overrated that you cant be separated from your phone for an hour.

what is it with people and their phones, afraid to be left with only your own thoughts for company for 5 minutes?

Sorry everyone I like to take pictures on my holidays I'm weird like that .. Also gps and googlemaps is handy to have

Originally Posted by taxexile

I'm going to sawadee-kaa land next week and i'm looking for clever and inventive ideas to prevent my phone getting robbed whilst im in the sea..

are you so important, so invaluable, so insecure, so overrated that you cant be separated from your phone for an hour.

what is it with people and their phones, afraid to be left with only your own thoughts for company for 5 minutes?

I go to the beach at 10 AM for the whole day sometimes you fucking clown

Originally Posted by socal

Originally Posted by taxexile

I'm going to sawadee-kaa land next week and i'm looking for clever and inventive ideas to prevent my phone getting robbed whilst im in the sea..

are you so important, so invaluable, so insecure, so overrated that you cant be separated from your phone for an hour.

what is it with people and their phones, afraid to be left with only your own thoughts for company for 5 minutes?

I go to the beach at 10 AM for the whole day sometimes you fucking clown

you people, you head down phone addicts, you dumbed down zombies who just cant live without these things. you are worse than junkies, you buy into all that marketing nonsense sold to you by the phone companies just like the simpletons you are, like infants staring at sweets in a sweetshop, hands out, salivating grasping for more.

and for what, so you can have gps that tells you what you would know already if you lifted your ugly head and looked at a road sign, so you can take another stupid photo of a plate of spaghetti and post it on facebook, so you can broadcast another facile comment on twitter, or spend all day waiting for that fat bitch to turn down your offer of a macdonalds and a fingering after work.

like the braindead drones you are, you have become no more than pathetic slaves to the companies, pouring money into their unreliable, unnecessary trinkets, which you will only throw away and replace with a new model as soon as ordered to by the company.

as i said, you phone addicts just cant deal with being alone with your own thoughts for five minutes, you must have some silly distraction, something to take your attention away from your own thoughts, from the painful emptiness that exists in your heads down world, living in hope that someone, anyone, even a machine generated message from the phone company itself, brings to life the piece of plastic you spend all day grasping and fiddling with so as to justify your nonsensical existences.

the world has become pathetic.