Thread: Husband Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong"

Husband Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong"




Mr Brian Flannery was convicted of 2nd Degree Manslaughter today at Peckham Crown Court, receiving a 5 year suspended sentence for the accidental death of his wife, Gloria Flannery, by toxic suffocation, after he gave her a 'Dutch Oven' that went, as the Judge described it, 'horribly, horribly wrong'.
The case for the prosecution argued for the charge of Murder, putting it to the court that, late one weekday evening as Mrs Flannery was reading a Jackie Collins novel in bed and unwinding for sleep, she was suddenly and forcibly pinned under the duvet by Mr Flannery, who sealed the edges with his weight while simultaneously releasing an enormous bolus of flatulence, which displaced all the available oxygen so that Mrs Flannery passed out nearly instantly, and was dead within 30 seconds.

Arguing for the defence, Mr Cavendish QC, stated that Mr Flannery was deeply upset and regretful. The incident was intended as a light-hearted practical joke, indeed it was the first time Mr Flannery had even tried what is commonly known on the street as a 'Dutch Oven', and even then only after hearing some friends talking one evening in the pub after five-a-side football, about 'doing it' to their wives 'all the time'.



They argued that Mr Flannery had miscalculated two crucial factors which led to the tragic outcome. The first being Mrs Flannery's military tucking in of the 600 weight cotton sheets when she made the bed that morning, which created a near airtight seal . Secondly, Mr Flannery had neglected to remember that he had attended a long business lunch at an Indian restaurant on Brick Lane that day, at which he had consumed a dozen onion Bajees, eight Poppadom, six Samosas, and an extra large beef Vindaloo with garlic naan, all washed down with 8 pints of Guinness beer. The resulting trapped wind, which he released within a 6 inch proximity of Mrs Flannery's face, came in at around 6 litres gas of 95% methane by volume.

During sentencing, the judge, The Hon Dame Roberts, said, "I accept that you did not intend that your wife should die in this manner, and I note both your grief and regret, which is why I will suspend your sentence on the grounds of time already served. Nonetheless, the conviction remains, in the hope that you will be an example to other husbands and boyfriends across the UK, and a ray of light to their long suffering wives and girlfriends, that this frankly gross, and often dangerous practice can no longer be taken lightly, or risk facing such tragic consequences as you have."

Outside the court, an emotional and weary Mr Flannery said, "I am truly very sorry for what I did to my wife, and living with the guilt of what I done is punishment enough. I just hope that others will learn from my mistake. I swear, I will never, ever fart in a woman's face again. At least, not in private."
Husband Convicted Of Manslaughter After Dutch Oven Goes "Horribly Wrong" | The Ronson Writer

I shouldn't laugh, butt.....

at first then now his arse must be rancid,

i think we all must have done this at sometime, never thinking about the consequences.

Originally Posted by kingwilly

he had consumed a dozen onion Bajees, eight Poppadom, six Samosas, and an extra large beef Vindaloo with garlic naan, all washed down with 8 pints of Guinness beer.

Imagine trying to flush that evidence down the bog.

Tragic tale though - if it were true.



Edit - Bloody hell Willy, that article is from 2007.

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Secondly, Mr Flannery had neglected to remember that he had attended a long business lunch at an Indian restaurant on Brick Lane that day, at which he had consumed a dozen onion Bajees, eight Poppadom, six Samosas, and an extra large beef Vindaloo with garlic naan, all washed down with 8 pints of Guinness beer.

Pah! Lightweight.

Haneef lawyer faces Keelty complaint - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Originally Posted by kingwilly

I will never, ever fart in a woman's face again. At least, not in private.

Thats alright then flanners- yer welcome at the next curry lunch.

Originally Posted by kingwilly

consumed a dozen onion Bajees, eight Poppadom, six Samosas, and an extra large beef Vindaloo with garlic naan, all washed down with 8 pints of Guinness beer.

this makes me think that this is a spoof article

^
Of course it is.
Look at my link above

where can you buy one of these ovens?

Originally Posted by xanax

where can you buy one of these ovens?

I assume this is how you intend to carry out your mutual suicide pact with Smeg?

Originally Posted by xanax

where can you buy one of these ovens?

Holland

I was thinking of getting one for the wife really!

I'll go halves with you.

It's an odd thing for the Dutch to be credited with.

Did they invent it because they started the spice trade all those centuries ago, or are they just a nation of very naughty boys, or both?

Good point and a fair question. You'd reckon it would be known as a Bombay oven .

The onion?

^ Onion Bajees

Originally Posted by baldrick

Originally Posted by kingwilly

consumed a dozen onion Bajees, eight Poppadom, six Samosas, and an extra large beef Vindaloo with garlic naan, all washed down with 8 pints of Guinness beer.

this makes me think that this is a spoof article

Ya think?!

Outside the court, an emotional and weary Mr Flannery said, "I am truly very sorry for what I did to my wife, and living with the guilt of what I done is punishment enough. I just hope that others will learn from my mistake. I swear, I will never, ever fart in a woman's face again. At least, not in private."

^ Who farted in them first?

I have on good authority from the Sentinel it twas Pilgrims in the missionary position aka Founding Farters.I

My lab is telexing a sample for your earliest perusal knowing you to be a certified bicycle seat sniffer.

He had 8 pints of Gunness....
That would have made her toes curl with out the bloody curry

two crucial factors which led to the tragic outcome. The first being Mrs Flannery's military tucking in of the 600 weight cotton sheets when she made the bed that morning, which created a near airtight seal

Quality.