I'm *NOT* giving up booze

**Gerbil** · 13-02-2007, 11:34 PM

All this disgusting trend towards health is making me feel ill

You won't all live longer you know, it will just seem longer and you'll be miserable while the rest of us continue on in a blissful stupour.

Tomorrow I will enlighten and entertain you all with pictures of the content of my drinks cabinet, my impressive collection of bottle tops and my beer can recycling project.

**Mr Earl** · 14-02-2007, 12:13 AM

Being sober isn't all that great...but it's not all that bad either.

I agree there is something reassuring about being blissfully numb. At least while your blissfully numb.

For now I like watching my bloated belly beginning to shrink. I'm still getting used to feeling everything or most everything.

have few drinks for me while you're at it.

**stroller** · 14-02-2007, 12:37 AM

It's only a matter of time for reasoning skills to resurface as well, Mr. Earl.

**kingwilly** · 14-02-2007, 07:40 AM

YEAH - me too!

I'm not giving up booze

or smoking

or drugs

or whores!

**Roc** · 14-02-2007, 07:53 AM

I'm off to Suan Mokkh for a retreat at the end of this month!!
No booze

No sex or wanking

No talking

I hope to be more insane when I finish!!

**kingwilly** · 14-02-2007, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Roc

I'm off to Suan Mokkh for a retreat at the end of this month!!
No booze

No sex or wanking

No talking

what ever for?!?!?

**Mr Earl** · 14-02-2007, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by stroller

It's only a matter of time for reasoning skills to resurface as well, Mr. Earl.

**Lily** · 14-02-2007, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by kingwillyhggtb

I'm not giving up booze or smoking or drugs or whores!

Me either!

**slimboyfat** · 14-02-2007, 11:02 AM

i didnt make it into work today.

now i need to get a medical certificate from a doctor to present to my company tomorrow.

what should i say is wrong with me?

my current idea is an upset stomache

**ChiangMai noon** · 14-02-2007, 11:04 AM

my penis burns after an evening with a lady and 2 alker seltza.

**Jarvis** · 14-02-2007, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

my penis burns after an evening with a lady and 2 alker seltza.

They have alker seltza in Singapore?

**in4zip** · 14-02-2007, 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

my penis burns after an evening with a lady and 2 alker seltza.

CmN, I know you've been trying to clean up yer act, no booz, no cigs, exerzise less sex but the evening spent with them 2 alker seltzas, well that must be a first , even for the likes of you, no wonda yer dick burns

**kingwilly** · 14-02-2007, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by slimboyfat

i didnt make it into work today.

now i need to get a medical certificate from a doctor to present to my company tomorrow.

what should i say is wrong with me?

my current idea is an upset stomache

nah thats been done before,

how about traffic, oh you live in singapore,

ok ok - just tell them it was an opportunistic infection connected to an AIDS related illness, that will keep them from inquiring too closely for fear of upsetting you.

**slimboyfat** · 14-02-2007, 11:45 AM

any foreigner with AIDS here is quickly escorted onto a plane and asked never to come back.

so i don't think that is really an option. but thanks for your input

**Jarvis** · 14-02-2007, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by slimboyfat

so i don't think that is really an option

Say the old herpes is playing you up.

**Jarvis** · 14-02-2007, 11:51 AM

I love booze by the way

**in4zip** · 14-02-2007, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by slimboyfat

any foreigner with AIDS here is quickly escorted onto a plane and asked never to come back.

so i don't think that is really an option. but thanks for your input

wot they do they do to the citizens that catches the Aids?

Makem wear an armband with the biohazard simbol an a phosphorescent H?

Or have they got some ex leper colony island rock off Sentosa where the misfortunates get to rottaway?

(Cuba got a similar set up

)

**Roc** · 14-02-2007, 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by kingwillyhggtb

Originally Posted by Roc

I'm off to Suan Mokkh for a retreat at the end of this month!!
No booze

No sex or wanking

No talking

what ever for?!?!?

^I'm in need of some time with me,myself and I!
I'll do a thread on it when I get back.

That's if I can still remember who I am!!!

**slimboyfat** · 14-02-2007, 01:48 PM

well i fooled the doctor anyway with my stomach upset story.

the bad news is that he discovered i have high blood pressure.

i hope i dont have to give up the booze too

**kingwilly** · 14-02-2007, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by slimboyfat

well i fooled the doctor anyway with my stomach upset story.

the bad news is that he discovered i have high blood pressure.

i hope i dont have to give up the booze too

thats terrible news - worst sickie u eva took i;ll bet!

**danbo** · 14-02-2007, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by slimboyfat

i didnt make it into work today.

now i need to get a medical certificate from a doctor to present to my company tomorrow.

what should i say is wrong with me?

my current idea is an upset stomache

Sneak into the office tonight and put all the computer clocks and calendars back one day. Everyone in your firm will, quite naturally, assume that they experienced a shared hallucination of the previous day. When outsiders call in and begin insisting that it is in fact 'tomorrow' your boss and colleagues will, quite naturally, assume that the outsiders are experiencing a similar shared hallucination...Either that or they will think that they are losing their minds - Whatever, they won't be worrying about you.

**flash** · 14-02-2007, 04:06 PM

It just wouldn't be right for an Irishman to give up booze, so i won't

**Gerbil** · 14-02-2007, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by danbo

now i need to get a medical certificate from a doctor to present to my company tomorrow. what should i say is wrong with me?

I'd get something to certify me as insane for working for a company that wants a medical certificate for ONE BLEEDING DAY OFF SICK!

**mad_dog** · 14-02-2007, 09:16 PM

I am sticking to my once a month binges... they do me in and make me feel rough afterwards but life gets too real after 6 weeks of complete sobreity... Crazy once a month binge is the way forward fellows !

**Gallowspole** · 14-02-2007, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by flash

It just wouldn't be right for an Irishman to give up booze, so i won't

Have you ever tried to get a Scotsman to give up booze?

Fuck it took me 2 hours to get my Uncle Andy to let go of the purple tin long enough for me to have a swig last Burns' night.

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