The Ashes Thread.

[Bettyboo]

Shite first over from Broad, take him out of the attack...

[Bettyboo]

This bowling is soooooo non-threatening...

The Convicts'll get 450 then bowl us out for 150 again. Fuk me sideways with a bargepole, we're fukin shiter than shite.

[Headworx]

^Don't be so negative, Smith might only get 110 and 115 this Test.

[David48atTD]

Bancroft goes for 13! LBW to Archer!

A scratchy innings comes to an end. Bancroft never looked comfortable throughout.

Hope you enjoyed the last Test you will play for Australia

[David48atTD]

opps, some put their finger in the dyke!

GOOOOONE! Khawaja nicks one to the keeper! Woakes strikes!

Woakes with a beauty! This one cuts away from the left hander, enough to get a thick outside edge to the keeper!
Slight drizzle. But England have turned this around, somewhat. Two new batsmen in on 0.

[NamPikToot]

Betts?

[Bettyboo]

I'm not saying anything; we're shite, and they'll score 600...

[NamPikToot]

I think your glass is a little less than half full Betts.

[Bettyboo]

This is the pair that put us to the sword last match; expect them to have a 150 partnership at least.

[Bettyboo]

Fuk me, Broad back on - he is shite... I could score 100 against him and Ali.

[NamPikToot]

keep going Betts you're doing great - like a reverse Boycott.

[Bettyboo]

& that Woakes is shite, won't get Smith out in a month of Sundays...

[klong toey]

Lunch.

[Bettyboo]

^ I'll have one of each to start (excluding the tofu, obviously...), but don't wanna be bowling just after lunch.

[Saint Willy]

4/80

And more rain.

[NamPikToot]

a TMS interlude

[Bettyboo]

Some nice watching for our Australian friends:



7 wickets for 1 run...

[NamPikToot]

Sir Curtly - remember the Windies in their pomp and unfortunately seen them demolish Eng a couple of times but it never felt disappointing just inevitable - i woulda shite me sen facing up to some them. Had a bloke i played against threw it down in the mid 80s mph and it was difficult

[Saint Willy]

Day 3 ended without anymore cricket being played. Hard to see a win for either team in this game.

[Troy]

Aussies out for under 150, England go berserk and score 200 leaving the Aussies to go for a game 300 on the last day.

[Saint Willy]

Smith?

[Troy]

^ food poisoning from leek potato & cauliflower soup.

[Saint Willy]

^ food poisoning from leek potato & cauliflower soup.

I suppose that's as good a way to get him out as any.

Here's a video of Smith's leaves.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1162329998595907584

[Bettyboo]

He is such a wanker... Tremendous player, but how could you be around him batting and not walk over and lump him. I know it's not very sporting, but I quite wanna see Stokes, after one of those silly leaves, just go over and pretend he's outside a nightclub in the early hours...



"No, your honour, I don't have any anger management issues..."

(Yes, we would like to pork the English policewoman, but stick to the thread topic, she is doubtless a Pakistan supporter, so no porking allowed... )

[Saint Willy]

On the contrary, she might be one that only uses her backdoor in order to preserve her modesty.