The Ashes Thread.

[klong toey]

Lets hope this captain gets a pair in the next test a golden pair.

[pseudolus]

Lets hope this captain gets a pair in the next test a golden pair.

Couldn't agree more. A nice golden pair of these

[kingwilly]

Lets hope this captain gets a pair in the next test a golden pair.

Couldn't agree more. A nice golden pair of these

I bloody well hope not.

[Bruce Bayliss]

Well done England...as my friend Hooray Henry would say...they gave those convivts a jolly old rogering

[Horatio Hornblower]

Whats the Aussie press saying Boys.

[Horatio Hornblower]

Some good old sledging until the next test.

Ashes 2015: The best sledges in Australia v England history

[grasshopper]

Assassinate Bayliss and we have a fighting chance. Maybe? Bring back Watson for Clarke (worth at least 20 per innings) and Haddin for Voges. Bring Starc up to open the innings with Rogers with Warner down at six. Can't do much worse than this spineless batting group. Bayliss knows everything about Clarke, Smith and their strengths and weaknesses. I'm getting Big Ears to revoke his passport. That should get the dwarf trougher off the front page.

Wally, shut the fuck up! You've done enough!

[Loy Toy]

Watson for Clarke

At least he was scoring some runs and can take slip catches and can bowl.

Clarke has failed miserably this tour and the Aussies are at crunch time.

The rest of your suggestions sounds good to me.

[cyrille]

Whats the Aussie press saying Boys.

They seem rather quiet.

Even Ian Chappell has his big dumb pie hole shut.

[Bobcock]

Even Ian Chappell has his big dumb pie hole shut.

Shutting that wanker up is one of the perks of winning...... Let's hope we can win the series else he'll be yapping again

[Bettyboo]

Haddin for Voges

He is a wanker, but a wanker who has shown his grit in the Ashes when required, time after time. They would be mad not to bring him back for the next game. I hope he stays out of the team...

The Convicts still have a team that is on par or superior to the English team; but how is their mental strength? Has Johnson lost it completely again? Can Starc bowl well for 6 overs instead of 3 amazing balls and 33 shite ones? Is Hazelwood gonna do what he was picked for and just close up one end with line and length? There's not much between the two batting lineups, both have about 3 quality players and a few more who can be quality on their day. The bowling is where the Convicts should have taken this series, but with the retirement and injuries and drunk driving from the Convicts they now have a lot less options and their confidence is down. But, everything can turn around in the next game - or the Convicts could just lose it and get even worse like we did in the last series (I suspect they have more fight than some of our spineless wankers...).

Just back to some basics for the Convicts and they have every chance in the next test. I'm hoping for 2 rained out tests...

[cyrille]

The forecast for Trent Bridge looks good for that - provided the match isn't over after two and a half days.

Win the toss and bat, you'd have thought.

With Anderson fit I think England's momentum now would really make them favourites. Without him it's still 'take your pick' time.

[chassamui]

Let's see what shit bloke can do on his home ground, once he gets past the 300 barrier.

[kingwilly]

The forecast for Trent Bridge looks good for that - provided the match isn't over after two and a half days.

Win the toss and bat, you'd have thought.

With Anderson fit I think England's momentum now would really make them favourites. Without him it's still 'take your pick' time.

Let's see what shit bloke can do on his home ground, once he gets past the 300 barrier.

With Anderson firing well and add the shit bloke into the mix and the Aussies have a fair challenge ahead. This could well end in a complete disaster.

[bobo746]

Settle down boys all is not lost,next test thusday aussies will turn it around.

[baldrick]

With Anderson firing well

what drugs are you smoking - anderson is out with a "side strain" - his new sports bra did not restrain his man boobs properly and the bouncing has torn a muscle

[cyrille]

Yeah, I'm sure you've got way less excess fat than Jimmy Anderson.

[cyrille]

With Anderson firing well and add the shit bloke into the mix and the Aussies have a fair challenge ahead.

So just how closely have you been following things, willy?

[baldrick]

Yeah, I'm sure you've got way less excess fat than Jimmy Anderson.

cwille , you may picture in your minds eye an image of anderson with his moobs free to the wind and work out how much "excess fat" he possesses but it does not change the fact that his new man bra failed to prevent his injury

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Assassinate Bayliss

Fantastic idea! We need to send a mole to Nothingham with a spiked meat pie for him. I may ask my mum to bake a poison pie and go to present it to him 'as congratulations' Little will he know it will be the last thing the cnut ever eats!

Wally, shut the fuck up! You've done enough!

Yes - well; I thought I wouldn't worry about all of this 'jinx nonsense' this series and let the smellies have it from the start of the series. My bad.

[cyrille]

As senselessly unfunny as ever I see baldrick.

Oh well.

[12Call]

I'd only make 3 changes.

Watson and Haddin for Aussies.

KP for England.

5 days of glorious cricket should all 24 plus 5 turn up.

[baldrick]

As senselessly unfunny as ever I see baldrick.

I thought you should practice your weeping - you will need it

[bobo746]

Watson and Haddin for Aussies.

They won't play for aussies again.
Voges out another Marsh brother in no other changes.
They might drop Clarke down the order.

[cyrille]

Surely they need siddle in for hazlwood. Supposedly the ideal bowler for English conditions but he looked completely out of his depth at Edgbaston.

Watson and Haddin are done. Nevill in particular has handled the pressure ok.