Thread: Burns week 2026

I've decided to celebrate Burns week this week.

With a Scottish sausage sandwich!

The sausage meat...



Into the pan..



Prepare thy bread with an English ketchup flag ..



A few minutes later..



Booyakasha..



Some traditional poetry to accompany the feast...


It fell on a day, in the flouery month o MayA’ on a merry merry mornin
I met a pretty maid, an unto her said
I wad fain fin yer yellow yellow sticker
O no, young man, says she, you’re a stranger to me
An I am anither man’s darlin
Wha haes baith sheep and cous, that’s feedin in the hows
An a cock for my yellow yellow sticker
But if I lay you doun, upon the dewy grund
You wad nae be the waur ae farthin
An that happy happy man, he never would ken
That I played wi yer yellow yellow sticker
O fie, young man, says she, I pray you let me be
I wadnae fer five pound sterlin
My mither wid gae mad, and sae wid ma dad
If ye played wi my yellow yellow sticker
But I tuek her by the waist, an laid her doun in haste,
Fer a’ her squakin an squallin
The lassie soon grew tame, and bade me come again
For tae play wi her yellow yellow sticker

Originally Posted by Joe 90

A few minutes later..

JOE'S MUCKLE TURD.

Intae the wids amongst the trees.
Joe bared his erse, his cheeks to ease.
Nae sinner hud his breeks gan doon.
Than shitty flees were swarming roon.
Intae the wind he bared his baws
And from his erse a big keech faws.
The reek it curled amoungst the trees.
‘twis enough tae make the birdies sneeze.
An’ a’ the bees on bended knees,
Got sick a fricht o’ Joe's big erse.


Big Joe wis in awfy pain.
It came oot his erse like a nine pund wean.
Thur wis a tear faw fi’ his eee
For a bigger shite you’d never see.

Big Joe'ss erse wis raw an sair.
Says big Joe I’ll shite nae mair.
Yonder it lay amoungst the grit.
A dirty stinkin’ muckle shit.

Yonder it lat si saft, si fresh.
Nae een, nae teeth, nae brains, nae flesh.
I swear it never drew a breath.
Joes Muckle Turd.