Thread: Minister wants all tourists tagged to improve safety.

holy shit, I had to check to be sure it was not an Onion piece or some other spoof.

Perhaps an Armed Tourist Police Bodyguard Escort Issued at Survarnabumi (fluent in the tourists mother tongue) schooled as a temple and cottage industries guide.

...of course the unspoken other side here is that farangs who are NOT tourists are apparently fair game.........

I say give em dogtags. It was good enough for the GIs in Normandy and Nam. That'll get em put in the right bodybags.

Originally Posted by thaimeme

This general clumsy atmosphere of suppression and control leads to bizarre thought.

I don't think the Prime Minister will take kindly to being called General Clumsy, however well the description might fit.

Originally Posted by nidhogg

...of course the unspoken other side here is that farangs who are NOT tourists are apparently fair game.........

You have just created a black market in 5* Hotel arm bands. Every one will want one.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

I could well understand such an initiative might be offered by some autistic durian peddler after they had consumed a belt of Lao Khao and formed a committee of likeminded soi hags spitting out rancid betel juice with one eye on some soap opera featuring the usual cast of poofs, arch criminals, white skinned molls and a clown or two

miggins - you are describing the contracted auditing team

Originally Posted by VocalNeal

Better to tell everyone that they will put plain clothes policemen at every beach party?

They're already there, who do you think sells all the drugs?

As has been pointed out, the trouble with wristbands is that they can be removed.

Tattooing inmates, I mean tourists, would take too long.

Here's a better solution:



Have an area after immigration where all cattle, sorry I mean tourists, get branded with a unique identification number. Quick, hygienic and simple. If the foreigner subsequently does something silly like deciding to commit suicide or get killed by migrant workers whilst on their holiday then it will be somewhat easier for the Thai authorities to identify the body.

As an added bonus local traders could perhaps pay something towards the costs of the programme in return for sponsorship. A unique identification number coupled with a large advisement for Somchai's Friendly Tourist TukTuks or Lek's Spa and Massage.

Thailand will be providing a truly unforgettable tourist experience.

This brilliant plan is getting a lot of international press coverage. Ought to be just what they need to attract more tourists. Fucking hopeless idiots.

Originally Posted by VocalNeal

I reckon Baldrick is on the right track.

The Police can't solve the crime or uphold the law so they have shifted blame to the Min. of Tourism who are now honour bound to come up with a solution , workable or not.

Better to tell everyone that they will put plain clothes policemen at every beach party?

Yup. Typical half-arsed compromise solution, in front of the world watching, as they lack the will to arrest some provincial monkey "mafia' psychopath on some rock in the sea. Un-fakin-believable.

How about just fitting all Thais/ resident immigrants with a electronic Tagging system, which has its controls located in another country.

The Tag could be inserted into the body with a explosive device and monitored should the person be in the vincinity of a crime, then the control room just activates the explosive and hey presto the offender is obliterated and no need for investigations.

Why not just confiscate their bikinis at the airport?

why not fit all Thai men between the ages of 5 and 90 with electric shock collars and give all tourists a button?

Originally Posted by Roobarb

As has been pointed out, the trouble with wristbands is that they can be removed.

Tattooing inmates, I mean tourists, would take too long.

Here's a better solution:



Have an area after immigration where all cattle, sorry I mean tourists, get branded with a unique identification number. Quick, hygienic and simple. If the foreigner subsequently does something silly like deciding to commit suicide or get killed by migrant workers whilst on their holiday then it will be somewhat easier for the Thai authorities to identify the body.

As an added bonus local traders could perhaps pay something towards the costs of the programme in return for sponsorship. A unique identification number coupled with a large advisement for Somchai's Friendly Tourist TukTuks or Lek's Spa and Massage.

Thailand will be providing a truly unforgettable tourist experience.

I was thinking more of the Nazis.


^ Not to be a grammar bitch, but don't you mean Thai "males." There are some greaat Thais, but there are also very many who are not and never will be "men."

Originally Posted by Hans Mann

Why not just confiscate their bikinis at the airport?

No, when i go on a beach holiday i take at least four bikinis with me and usually buy a couple of others when i am there. I got a "Christian Dior" one for five quid.

Nah, just put one of those dog cat thingys in me. Tracking divice.

Patsy's tracking for a week - bungalow- restaurant- beach- bungalow- shops-bar-beach-bar-bungalow-beach-bar-shops-etc etc. I always stay in my comfort zone.

Sorry, forgot about Elvis and the ladyboy show.

you mean constantly pissed.?

I know my limitations. I am 51 years old.

And i could probably drink you under the table anytime - but no, i wouldn't like to embarrass you.

Originally Posted by bobo746

what happens if you take of the armband?

you get raped and bludgeoned to death.

Pardon you want to be under the table with me.?

Originally Posted by patsycat

I know my limitations. I am 51 years old.

And i could probably drink you under the table anytime - but no, i wouldn't like to embarrass you.

Digital tracking is the way to go.

You can let your family have the unique number to track you online as well.

I'm sure they would be impressed following on google street view