We'd like to move to Thailand eventually

**ota** · 07-04-2007, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by in4zip

Originally Posted by stroller

^
Yes, this may happen.
'suppose I'm lucky, I have become part of the village inventory and not subject to unusual curiousity any longer.
Darn, the first half year was tough, yet enjoyable. People were coming round early mornings to watch the farang eat strange stuff like cheese on toast, before they went to work, and my abilities to eat local food was tested (I passed).

I got incredibly drunk almost every night, being called to join 'sessions' throughout the neighbourhood. Then we had work on the house done, and of course you gotta entertain the workers after hours...

Now I just occasionally join a party or village festival.

yea Ota to be part of the in crowd
just start eating what the locals
do.
Stroller is half thai de iure et de facto now that he ate his dog
(sort of a rite of passage) and is planning his next gastronomic move:
buffalo shit balls with dung beetle mitt larvae inside

**codefreeze** · 19-04-2007, 12:18 AM

Originally Posted by ota

Hi, I've been married to a Thai lady for 8 years. We have two sons ages 2 and 5. For now we are settled on beautiful rural Adirondack property near Saratoga Springs. I wonder about a few things. How much does it cost to live a very comfortable life in Thailand? I've built 7 homes for myself over the years and the house we are in now was a year long nightmare. Building in Thailand seems to push the envelope on patience from what I have read but I am getting ahead of myself.
My next question is how do I live there and keep my mother in law away. I'm serious. There seems to be no limit to the guilt and emotional drain she can put into my wife. No matter what $ she receives is gone in a few days if it's $50 or $5000.It is our # 1 concern. Another concern is to find the coolest weather if that is not an oxymoron. It's for my sons health.
My wife tells me she worries that I will naively get involved with people who will get me into trouble because it seems I will never speak the language without making a fool out of myself.
Do many guys live in the USA half of the time and Thailand the other half with their families? My wife tell me the education of my kids will be bad and suffer.
By the way I can't believe how many Thai people live around here and Albany. There seems to be an endless amount of Thais here should one be inclined to befriend them.

1. What sort of time scale are you looking at. Like some of the guys you should take an extended holiday to check out Thailand.

2. You never really said why you want to move to Thailand. Sorting out why you aren't happy where you are might be the first step and why you want to go to thailand.

3. I thought at first your wife wanted to move back - but I think not. She's quite right the kids education will suffer, unless you get into a very expensive international school (and that probably won't compare favourably with your local schools)

4. If you were living in Bangkok alone I would think 35K baht, but with a family I think double it. I think a previous poster was right with around 75k baht - could be quite a bit more too.

5. Sorry I'm not clear how moving back to thailand is going to make you less accessible to your MIL.

6. I'm not sure building a house in Thailand is wise at the moment. There is some flux in the legal situation on this at the moment as far as I can tell. As a foreigner you can't own land in Thailand so land would have to be in your wife's name. This issue is well covered in other parts of this forum though.

7. The weather is covered elsewhere on this site. Basically the higher you go the cooler it gets hence places like Chiang Mai, Chiag Rai etc will be suggested.

8. I do spend part of the year in UK (not US) and part in Thailand/Malaysia. I try to get to thailand during the cool season Nov - Feb. However, I'm not married.

9. With regards your MIL's requests for money. Here's a tip you might try. I tried it with a Filipina friend of mine who was getting into debt here due to constant requests for money. It worked for her - no guarantees tho. Set up a completely seperate bank account and deposit a reasonable amount per month. It doesn't actually need to be a huge amount. Any requests for that money come out of that pot. The MIL can be sent the statements monthly so she can see how much is there. She has to take reposnibility for managing her budget. Most important - any requests for money - you point her at the account you don't reach into your pocket. As I said it worked a treat for my friend and her begging family back in the Phils and some of her friends have also tried it with success. Good luck!

10. There are a lot of Thais here in UK too. I never have any problems meeting them, although my tastes these days swing more to Filipinas

11. Your wife is right (she sounds like a very good person) people might try to take advantage of you. If you go it pays to speak the language. Yes it is a struggle though

Hope that helps,

**Boon Mee** · 19-04-2007, 05:26 AM

Originally Posted by stroller

^
Spot on! And they live comfortably on $200/month, it's an above average salary in the Mooban, it's what a school-director takes home. Think about it!

You still have to show 65k baht per month for the visa though, right?
And, as a westerner, I definitely wouldn't try to get by on much less until I was 'in-country' a couple years and had adapted.
Talking the 'ban nook' life here...

**ota** · 30-04-2007, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by Boon Mee

Originally Posted by stroller

^
Spot on! And they live comfortably on $200/month, it's an above average salary in the Mooban, it's what a school-director takes home. Think about it!

You still have to show 65k baht per month for the visa though, right?
And, as a westerner, I definitely wouldn't try to get by on much less until I was 'in-country' a couple years and had adapted.
Talking the 'ban nook' life here...

What does "banook" mean?

**ota** · 30-04-2007, 11:37 AM

Originally Posted by codefreeze

Originally Posted by ota

Hi, I've been married to a Thai lady for 8 years. We have two sons ages 2 and 5. For now we are settled on beautiful rural Adirondack property near Saratoga Springs. I wonder about a few things. How much does it cost to live a very comfortable life in Thailand? I've built 7 homes for myself over the years and the house we are in now was a year long nightmare. Building in Thailand seems to push the envelope on patience from what I have read but I am getting ahead of myself.
My next question is how do I live there and keep my mother in law away. I'm serious. There seems to be no limit to the guilt and emotional drain she can put into my wife. No matter what $ she receives is gone in a few days if it's $50 or $5000.It is our # 1 concern. Another concern is to find the coolest weather if that is not an oxymoron. It's for my sons health.
My wife tells me she worries that I will naively get involved with people who will get me into trouble because it seems I will never speak the language without making a fool out of myself.
Do many guys live in the USA half of the time and Thailand the other half with their families? My wife tell me the education of my kids will be bad and suffer.
By the way I can't believe how many Thai people live around here and Albany. There seems to be an endless amount of Thais here should one be inclined to befriend them.
:dito:

1. What sort of time scale are you looking at. Like some of the guys you should take an extended holiday to check out Thailand.

2. You never really said why you want to move to Thailand. Sorting out why you aren't happy where you are might be the first step and why you want to go to thailand.

3. I thought at first your wife wanted to move back - but I think not. She's quite right the kids education will suffer, unless you get into a very expensive international school (and that probably won't compare favourably with your local schools)

4. If you were living in Bangkok alone I would think 35K baht, but with a family I think double it. I think a previous poster was right with around 75k baht - could be quite a bit more too.

5. Sorry I'm not clear how moving back to thailand is going to make you less accessible to your MIL.

6. I'm not sure building a house in Thailand is wise at the moment. There is some flux in the legal situation on this at the moment as far as I can tell. As a foreigner you can't own land in Thailand so land would have to be in your wife's name. This issue is well covered in other parts of this forum though.

7. The weather is covered elsewhere on this site. Basically the higher you go the cooler it gets hence places like Chiang Mai, Chiag Rai etc will be suggested.

8. I do spend part of the year in UK (not US) and part in Thailand/Malaysia. I try to get to thailand during the cool season Nov - Feb. However, I'm not married.

9. With regards your MIL's requests for money. Here's a tip you might try. I tried it with a Filipina friend of mine who was getting into debt here due to constant requests for money. It worked for her - no guarantees tho. Set up a completely seperate bank account and deposit a reasonable amount per month. It doesn't actually need to be a huge amount. Any requests for that money come out of that pot. The MIL can be sent the statements monthly so she can see how much is there. She has to take reposnibility for managing her budget. Most important - any requests for money - you point her at the account you don't reach into your pocket. As I said it worked a treat for my friend and her begging family back in the Phils and some of her friends have also tried it with success. Good luck!

10. There are a lot of Thais here in UK too. I never have any problems meeting them, although my tastes these days swing more to Filipinas :)

11. Your wife is right (she sounds like a very good person) people might try to take advantage of you. If you go it pays to speak the language. Yes it is a struggle though :(

Hope that helps,

Thank you for a thoughtful answer.

**ShittySmitty** · 30-04-2007, 11:56 AM

Dude-New York to Thailand. LOL There is no American Football in Thailand. ESPN is all Soccer-I mean "Football".

**Wallalai** · 30-04-2007, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by ota

What does "banook" mean?

Baan nok: village upcountry. Also used in a pejorative way for "peasant" -> sharecropper

**Jet Gorgon** · 30-04-2007, 12:27 PM

Welcome. Ota, from another newbie.
You have attracted some of the best here and they are giving you good, honest opinions.
Privacy is an issue: In the country, the welcome wagon party will be around daily as a rule to check you out. This goes away once they deem you safe and moral. The kids will help here. Good for them to learn Thai.
My farang friends with kids didn't worry about school until jr high age (about 12-13 yrs). Those with experience will know better of course, as noted above. Bilingual abilities never go to waste and study should be encouraged in youngsters, I think.
Nosy neighbours and MIL, well you must set precedent, but you don't want to shut out the neighbours completely or they will shun you too, and then there's no help in emergencies. I was like you initially, but once the clan snooped about and decided I was just a farang that worked on the computer most of the day, they left me largely in peace, except to bring me fruit, call me over for BBQ chicken or wake me during my aft siesta when they brought in my laundry before the storm (how do they always know when it's going to rain?). They are truly lovely people. Doesn't take much to reciprocate either: fruit, food, trinkets from home, kindness repaid in kind. It's really a community.
Definitely, visit first tho. This ain't Upstate NY. I have friends in Rye and when I visit, their neighbours call security when I go for walks. 555

Best of luck.

**gusG** · 30-04-2007, 03:43 PM

G'day OTA
The most important question you asked was about the MIL.If and when you decide to move here make sure wherever live doesn't have room to accommodate her. Also buy a huge dog, as most Thais are scared shitlss ,of mean looking dogs.Also 1200 Klms or so, and either a ferry crossing or a plane flight away also helps.

**dirtydog** · 30-04-2007, 04:17 PM

There seems to be a great fear or loathing of Mother inlaws, what you got to remember is that in most likely hood that is how your girlfriend/wife will turn out

**a. boozer** · 30-04-2007, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by ota

Hi, I've been married to a Thai lady for 8 years. We have two sons ages 2 and 5. For now we are settled on beautiful rural Adirondack property near Saratoga Springs. I wonder about a few things. How much does it cost to live a very comfortable life in Thailand? I've built 7 homes for myself over the years and the house we are in now was a year long nightmare. Building in Thailand seems to push the envelope on patience from what I have read but I am getting ahead of myself.
My next question is how do I live there and keep my mother in law away. I'm serious. There seems to be no limit to the guilt and emotional drain she can put into my wife. No matter what $ she receives is gone in a few days if it's $50 or $5000.It is our # 1 concern. Another concern is to find the coolest weather if that is not an oxymoron. It's for my sons health.
My wife tells me she worries that I will naively get involved with people who will get me into trouble because it seems I will never speak the language without making a fool out of myself.
Do many guys live in the USA half of the time and Thailand the other half with their families? My wife tell me the education of my kids will be bad and suffer.
By the way I can't believe how many Thai people live around here and Albany. There seems to be an endless amount of Thais here should one be inclined to befriend them.

Welcome ota,
I would suggest, in all temerity, that maybe you have been rather a soft touch regarding money management with your family. As has been previously suggested an amount of 3,000 / 5,000 Bht a month sent to your MIL is quite adequate. If you are thinking of settling here, I would suggest initially renting a property some considerable distance away from any principal family members. If you do move here you most certainly need to establish YOUR rules for house guests, e.g. nobody stays unless at your express invitation, that the lengths and regularity of visits are limited. Would also suggest a sensible budget for your wife, and ensuring that she stays within limits, always starting on the lower side, you can increase it if and when the needs are prooven. You will most likely find jealousy a problem, IMHO it stems from the basic insecurity of the Thai female. Not having children I can't comment on actual schooling, but would have thought that if the move here were to be made, now is the oportune time regarding the ages of yours.
Life here, as anywhere is what you make it, I certainly would not wish to return to my native country.

**klongmaster** · 30-04-2007, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by ota

My wife was a Professor of Librarian Science in Bangkok and Udon and made $200 a month.

just a note for you on the subject of titles...most Thai teachers are afforded the title kru which we loosely translate professor...this is not really correct as a closer equivilant would be teacher...

a real professor would take a Thai person in their education system about 30 years to earn!..

at uni I never let my students call me professor as I do not have a PhD...neither do i let them call me sir as I have not been knighted - yet!

re: your privacy...as others have noted you need to set the limits...in my house estate we always close the gate but only lock it at night or if we go out...however, no one ever comes inside the gate...even the next door neighbours just ring the bell or call out for my wife...

oh...and everyone calls me KM...never farang...which is heartening...

welcome to TD...you ask good questions and take the time to listen to the answers so you should do well within the Teakdoors...

**ota** · 07-05-2007, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by a. boozer

Originally Posted by ota

Hi, I've been married to a Thai lady for 8 years. We have two sons ages 2 and 5. For now we are settled on beautiful rural Adirondack property near Saratoga Springs. I wonder about a few things. How much does it cost to live a very comfortable life in Thailand? I've built 7 homes for myself over the years and the house we are in now was a year long nightmare. Building in Thailand seems to push the envelope on patience from what I have read but I am getting ahead of myself.
My next question is how do I live there and keep my mother in law away. I'm serious. There seems to be no limit to the guilt and emotional drain she can put into my wife. No matter what $ she receives is gone in a few days if it's $50 or $5000.It is our # 1 concern. Another concern is to find the coolest weather if that is not an oxymoron. It's for my sons health.
My wife tells me she worries that I will naively get involved with people who will get me into trouble because it seems I will never speak the language without making a fool out of myself.
Do many guys live in the USA half of the time and Thailand the other half with their families? My wife tell me the education of my kids will be bad and suffer.
By the way I can't believe how many Thai people live around here and Albany. There seems to be an endless amount of Thais here should one be inclined to befriend them.

Welcome ota,
I would suggest, in all temerity, that maybe you have been rather a soft touch regarding money management with your family. As has been previously suggested an amount of 3,000 / 5,000 Bht a month sent to your MIL is quite adequate. If you are thinking of settling here, I would suggest initially renting a property some considerable distance away from any principal family members. If you do move here you most certainly need to establish YOUR rules for house guests, e.g. nobody stays unless at your express invitation, that the lengths and regularity of visits are limited. Would also suggest a sensible budget for your wife, and ensuring that she stays within limits, always starting on the lower side, you can increase it if and when the needs are prooven. You will most likely find jealousy a problem, IMHO it stems from the basic insecurity of the Thai female. Not having children I can't comment on actual schooling, but would have thought that if the move here were to be made, now is the oportune time regarding the ages of yours.
Life here, as anywhere is what you make it, I certainly would not wish to return to my native country.

**ota** · 07-05-2007, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by ota

Originally Posted by a. boozer

Originally Posted by ota

Hi, I've been married to a Thai lady for 8 years. We have two sons ages 2 and 5. For now we are settled on beautiful rural Adirondack property near Saratoga Springs. I wonder about a few things. How much does it cost to live a very comfortable life in Thailand? I've built 7 homes for myself over the years and the house we are in now was a year long nightmare. Building in Thailand seems to push the envelope on patience from what I have read but I am getting ahead of myself.
My next question is how do I live there and keep my mother in law away. I'm serious. There seems to be no limit to the guilt and emotional drain she can put into my wife. No matter what $ she receives is gone in a few days if it's $50 or $5000.It is our # 1 concern. Another concern is to find the coolest weather if that is not an oxymoron. It's for my sons health.
My wife tells me she worries that I will naively get involved with people who will get me into trouble because it seems I will never speak the language without making a fool out of myself.
Do many guys live in the USA half of the time and Thailand the other half with their families? My wife tell me the education of my kids will be bad and suffer.
By the way I can't believe how many Thai people live around here and Albany. There seems to be an endless amount of Thais here should one be inclined to befriend them.

Welcome ota,
I would suggest, in all temerity, that maybe you have been rather a soft touch regarding money management with your family. As has been previously suggested an amount of 3,000 / 5,000 Bht a month sent to your MIL is quite adequate. If you are thinking of settling here, I would suggest initially renting a property some considerable distance away from any principal family members. If you do move here you most certainly need to establish YOUR rules for house guests, e.g. nobody stays unless at your express invitation, that the lengths and regularity of visits are limited. Would also suggest a sensible budget for your wife, and ensuring that she stays within limits, always starting on the lower side, you can increase it if and when the needs are prooven. You will most likely find jealousy a problem, IMHO it stems from the basic insecurity of the Thai female. Not having children I can't comment on actual schooling, but would have thought that if the move here were to be made, now is the oportune time regarding the ages of yours.
Life here, as anywhere is what you make it, I certainly would not wish to return to my native country.

**ota** · 07-05-2007, 12:29 PM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

There seems to be a great fear or loathing of Mother inlaws, what you got to remember is that in most likely hood that is how your girlfriend/wife will turn out

My wonderful wife has given me what I've never had. That is a wife that won't be asking for a divorce anytime soon. On the other hand I honestly think she would murder me,and the entire family including herself if she thought I was leaving her. At my age I enjoy the security of a strong marriage. However, I have never been exposed to so many different personalities in one lady. One minute she could be in her Thai/father role. Her voice is soft and accomodating. Ten minutes later she could be rotating into her mother/Chinese rage. These conflicting personality traits never stay in one place for long. It's taken years for me to be objective about it and to not take it too personally. Are many Thai women this schitzed out? As a daughter her mother showed her no affection. It's a shame to see a great kady handicapped by what appears to be a cultural endowment.Are many Thai women plagued by psychosomatic type illnesses like IBS, migraines and fatigue?

**kingwilly** · 05-06-2007, 05:55 AM

Originally Posted by ota

I never posted online before. I'm not that sociable at this point of my life. BUt I like the tone and atitude of you people. I laughed alot tonight. specially at any post by that welsh git!

Yes us too! welcome BTW>

**Marmite the Dog** · 14-06-2007, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by ota

Are many Thai women plagued by psychosomatic type illnesses like IBS, migraines and fatigue?

I think that's just women in general.

**Dougal** · 14-06-2007, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by ota

Are many Thai women plagued by psychosomatic type illnesses like IBS, migraines and fatigue?

I think that's just women in general.

I haven't seen too much evidence of the above complaints - sponging male relatives, and an addiction to mobile phones, yes.

**phunphin** · 15-06-2007, 09:49 PM

However, I have never been exposed to so many different personalities in one lady. One minute she could be in her Thai/father role. Her voice is soft and accomodating. Ten minutes later she could be rotating into her mother/Chinese rage. These conflicting personality traits never stay in one place for long. It's taken years for me to be objective about it and to not take it too personally. Are many Thai women this schitzed out? As a daughter her mother showed her no affection. It's a shame to see a great kady handicapped by what appears to be a cultural endowment.Are many Thai women plagued by psychosomatic type illnesses like IBS, migraines and fatigue?"

HaHA you just described my wife...her mother's a feckin lazy crazy cow.
her voice could strip paint..I cannot be in the same room as her for more than a minute...

**stroller** · 15-06-2007, 10:41 PM

Originally Posted by ota

These conflicting personality traits never stay in one place for long.

That's certainly not for me, but you've put up with it for 8 years already, good for her.

**ota** · 16-06-2007, 11:34 AM

she is lucky in that I always try to be patien and do right by her, something I didn't in my first two marriages. And so am I as she is loyal ,has given me two wonderful little boys to enjoy, and is great with food and laundry.

**ota** · 16-06-2007, 11:37 AM

My wife makes an awful growl when whe gets mad. Is that something Thai women do? It's her least attractive attribute. Only the boys and I ever hear it. Publicly, she is the picture of Thai Buddhism.

**ota** · 16-06-2007, 11:39 AM

scary thought.

**phunphin** · 16-06-2007, 01:09 PM

sometimes i get my wife so mad she spits the dummy in public....now thats fun to watch.....

**ota** · 17-06-2007, 05:56 PM

sorry what do you mean by spit the dummy. Are alot of you guys from Austrailia? I figure that's where all the cool Croccadial Dondy phrases come from.

Thread: We'd like to move to Thailand eventually

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