The Dogcatcher does Laos

[the dogcatcher]

DAY 1
6am start Samnakthong, Rayong.

6am and I'm looking in the mirror at my reflexion, neither of us look good. The Thai wedding the day / night before had taken its toll and my Sang Song induced hangover was going to be a good one.
So it's off to see the family which is alot better than them coming to see us. GF had bought a fridge for papa in Laos and aside from going to Laos for visas the damn thing needed delivering, but not to Laos, oh no that would be far to simple for my GF. No it was going to Sangkhom in Thailand where under the carefull eye of the local chief of police it was to be smuggled into Laos by boat, along with GFs daughter.
The journey started well, no traffic and good roads allowed a steady 130kph, and other than very nearly running over a man that was being chased by what would appear to have been the mankiest dog in Thailand (have we had that photo competition yet)? everything pretty much unaventfull. Until we got to Korat.
Police stop number 1.
I rolled down the window to greet the smiling chap and before I could say "how much this time you thieving toe rag" he piped up in Thai and informed me that his spotter thought I was going to fast (what flamming spotter?). I said nothing and left it to GF, in any case I had been touching 140kph in places so he might have had a point. Anyway she seemed to be winning the argument at this point, exactly what she said I will never know but after looking at my license and checking my load (refridgerator secured with proper cargo straps) he shook my hand said enjoy Laos and let us go with no bung, bloody miricle!!!!!!!!!!
Some hours later we arrived in Sangkhom and the first thing I noticed is that it was cold, .....ing freezing actually. Secondly I noticed a breath takingly beautiful and it was descided that it would be a good place to stop for the night, so after smuggling the fridge and daughter into Laos watched by the police, we booked into a little resort for the night. Now under normal conditions this resort would have been paradise ie balcony overlooking the Mekong river, glass of wine, beautiful girl etc etc..but too cold to sit outside, never mind.
The evening meal was taken at a little restaurant again overlooking the river. This place is owned by an Irish fellow (who wasn't there) probably out getting some decent food cos his wife couldn't cook to save her live, terrible!!!!
So a few more Sang Songs then beddy byes.
Day 2 tomorrow. Includes importing car, knocking shops and Laos police.

[MeMock]

I hope there are pics to come as well.

[Nawty]

me 3.

Also want to hear about the vehicular crossing.

[the dogcatcher]

DAY 2
7am start in Sangkhom.

Woke up in this freezing little room in the resort, looked at GF and said "we're leaving".
It was too cold to shower so we got in the car and left. Great! Thai cars don't have heaters so it was'nt until we got to Tescos in Nong Khai that I stopped shivering. The drive though the morning mist along the Mekong was spectacular. O.K. I needed a pair of shoes, only had flip flops on and was so drunk the previous morning I'd forgotten to pack anything warmer. GF had said it was cold in Laos but when she says cold she usually means less than 30 degrees, not this time!! So after buying a sleeping bag, two blankets, a hundred weight of food, two cases of beer for papa and discovering Tescos don't have any shoes in my size we headed for the bridge.
As we arrived at the bridge I concluded that 9am on a Monday morning is not a good time to depart Thailand at that border. The backpackers and tree huggers there were early risers and they were there in the hordes, I was thinking this was going to take ages, but I was wrong.
Now see if I can remember what happened in order to export the car.
Step 1. Go to the 2 little boxes in the middle of the covered area and collect 2 forms which need to be completed in duplicate (they give you carbon paper as well). You need your passport, the car's passport and log book. I looked at the forms and immediately called over a copper, I waved a pen over the forms along with a fifty baht note. 2 minutes later forms were complete.
Step 2. Take the whole jolly lot back to the two boxes in the centre, the one you need faces Laos. Hand the whole jolly lot in where a pretty little Thai girl that checks them and prints a third.
Step 3. Take the wholly jolly lot to two fine gentlemen standing at a counter near the boxes. They asked to see the car, "it's over there" I said and pointed. They seemed to be checking that the car was the correct one.
Step 4. Take the whole jolly lot to another man in a box (facing Thailand this time) he stamps both you and your car out of L.O.S.
Step 5. Get in car and go believing that you hav'nt just been scammed (more on that later)
ARRIVING IN LAOS.
This is where it starts costing money and takes time.
Step 1. Pay 10 baht for parking car to sort out paperwork.
Step 2. Get a flamming agent to do the rest. 2500 baht the lot inc visa.
This involves. Get visa from office on the left, this is easy to spot because it has a shed load of hippies and whale savers lining up at it, this is where your agent comes in handy. (for agent read professional cue jumper and immigration bunger) then take wholly jolly lot to box just right of the centre of the road (has a sign says private cars) pay approx 250 baht for something pay another 250 baht for something else get appropriate stamps in car's passport. Agent then lead me to an insurance broker just on the Laos side where another about 600 baht was extracted for insurance for the car. Then go to get yourselve stamped in to Laos (left hand box nearest Laos) pay some more money (very small) and you and your car are in. whole process in Thailand 5 mins, process in Laos about 1 hour.
The first thing I noticed about driving in Laos is that everyone in cars and lorries drives in lane two, overtaking is achieved by using the fast lane of the other carriageway ie into fast oncomming traffic, this is to avoid the miriad of motorbikes, tuk tuks, kaftaned farang on bicycles etc on ones right hand side.
O.k. first job was to find a hotel. I simply drove though Vientiene to the other side and picked one down a side street right next to the Mekong. 800 baht a night. The hotel is called The Mongol Hotel. It was probably nice in its day, but looks a bit threadbare now. To its credit it does have very helpfull staff, it's clean, it has a good restaurant / bar overlooking the river with live music every night, and a curious collection of telephones in the lobby??? To sum it up 5 star service, youth hostel accomodation.
We both showered, GF beautified herself, then we left for her village / s**t hole about 40 kms west of Vientiene. Now GF had already said "load not to good darling" and I had already checked the route on google earth and noted all the buildings / shacks next to the road were red, BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! descibing this piece of the Laos transport infrastructure as road was at the very very best charitable. It is amongst the worst 40 kms of bone jarring, teeth extracting and axle removing road I've encounted anyway in the world. 40 kmh max.
So one and a half hours later we arrive in said s**t hole. apparently GFs sister had been cleaning for a week knowing we were coming but I could not detect any signs of it, the place was a bump covered in litter, plastic bags, bottles etc. If thats what it looks like after cleaning what DID it look like before.
I said hello, inspected the fridge for signs of having been dropped in the mekong, said hello to papa, had a quick look at some land GF had bought, then p**sed off.
Now I don't mind a bit of the authentic S.E. Asia experience, but give me a proper bed, satellite T.V. and a good bar any day ahead of GFs village.
One and a half hours on the boneshaker and I was back at the hotel, excellent evening meal, good wine and bedtime.
About 30 mins after hitting the sack there was a knock on the door. It was the hotel receptionist wanting to know if I wanted anything, if you know what I mean. I politely declined her offer, although I did ask here "how much" 400 baht ST was the reply, not bad a good looking and very elegant girl. But no.
I closed the door and went back to bed. 5 mins later another knock, this time one of the waitress who said perhaps I didn't fancy the other girl. I said "no she beautifull like you and would but have girlfriend" Everybody in Asia has two jobs.
Tomorrow day 3, which is about Laos police and pictures if someone tells me how to upload. Rubbish with computers.

[Marmite the Dog]

Doesn't look like it. Just lots of badly laid out text.

I hope there are pics to come as well.

[Gerbil]

I hope there are pics to come as well.

Didnt think you'd be intrested in knocking shops, memock?

[watterinja]

You really don't want to end up in the Chicken Jail... be careful with abusing Lao kindness & import/export rules.

The surcharge on most items rarely exceeds 20%.

It doesn't make sense to end up in jail for a few thousand baht.

[the dogcatcher]

There's as much going one way illegally over the border as is coming back. Evens out in the end.

[the dogcatcher]

There"s as much going one way illegally as the other. Evens out in the end so no one seems to care. Apparently the Thai police won't let you smuggle after 5 pm, drugs I suppose.

[MeMock]

I hope there are pics to come as well.

Didnt think you'd be intrested in knocking shops, memock?

There was no mention of knocking shops!

Very interested in how to get my car over there though, especially through chong mek.

[watterinja]

^ Cross the main bridges. As long as your vehicle has a passport - it will be no problem at all. I do it every month.

[MeMock]

A car passport? I need one before I arrive at the border I assume?

[Thetyim]

Get it from The Land Transport office

[MeMock]

Sweet. How many beers do I owe you now Theters?

Is it easy to get, expensive?

[Thetyim]

^

50-100 baht from your registered office
200 baht from Nong Khai
7000 baht from Diethelm Travel

[Gerbil]

As long as your vehicle has a passport

Do you need to get it vaccinated as well?

[MeMock]

Depends if it has rabies or not.

Theters, thanks for that info. Is it valid for the life of the vehicle or just a year?

[Thetyim]

Only one year

[the dogcatcher]

Have to go to immigration first to get certificate of residency or whatever its called, Car passport valid 11 months. Cost 55 baht. As for knocking shops, well if my hotel was typical then pretty much everywhere is.

[the dogcatcher]

To upload pics do they need to exist somewhere else on internet.

[dirtydog]

Yep^ there is a gallery on here you can use https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/displayi...up&cat=0&pos=0

Also 3 tutorials on how to use the gallery stickied here, even a video tutorial, no idea which is best though. https://teakdoor.com/how-to-use-stuff-on-board/

[Thetyim]

Have to go to immigration first to get certificate of residency or whatever its called

Why did you need that ?
I haven't heard that one was needed before

[MeMock]

There is that bloody letter again that I can't get (if it is true)

[Thetyim]

^
Why can't you get one ?

[MeMock]

Because I don't have a visa.

That is all I need to get my license as well remember?