Smacked the missus on the arse last night.
"into the bedroom with you wench" I said.
She giggled "Oh you horny devil"
"No, seriously" I said. "fuck off, the footy's about to start."


Teacher says to little Tommy '' Why have you brought your cat to school today?''
Tommy answers '' Well miss, this morning i overheard my dad say to mum '' I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave'', so i'm saving him."