OK Dug, this one's a litter 'quicker'. Still related to dogs...

IN REGARDS TO MY DOG:

Please be advised I am tired of receiving questions about my dog who mauled 3 Muslims sitting on a rug next to my back wall, 6 illegals wearing Obama t-shirts, 4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts, 2 rappers, 5 phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English, 9 teenagers with their pants hanging down past their cracks, 8 customer service desk people speaking in broken English, 10 flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.

FOR THE LAST TIME...THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!