Thread: Quick Jokes

Why do fat English women have belly button rings?
That is where they hang their air freshener cans.

Man goes to the doctor.

Doc, I think I'm going deaf.

Can you describe the symptoms?

Okay... the father's fat and bald, the mother's got blue hair.

I took my dog to the vet and said "He keeps going for my Asian neighbour".
He said "Muzzle him".
I said "I don't know for certain, but he's got a beard".

My mate's parrot died yesterday, It was quite obese and it's sad, but a big weight off his shoulders.

Two Irish men looking through a catalogue.

Paddy say's "Looks at those gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too!"

Mick agrees. "I'm ordering one of them right now!"

3 weeks later, Paddy say's "Has your woman turned up yet?"

"No'' said Mick, "But it shouldn't be long now, her clothes arrived yesterday".

Q. Where do bad rainbows go to?

A. Prism. It's a light sentence that gives them time to reflect.

M1 kid to a black teacher: Teacher you look like a brownie.

Also M1 kid to a black teacher: Teacher, look at my skin I am as dark as you. Can get the N-Word pass?

I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane…


We're currently filming the pilot!

Originally Posted by Joe 90

filming the pilot!

green owed for the really wierdstone of Alderley wedge

Landreath

What is a 6.9 ?

A good thing ruined by a period !

“Two monkeys were getting into the bath. One said: ‘Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah.’ The other replied: ‘Well, put some cold in it then.’”

“Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.”

“My Dad said, always leave them wanting more. Ironically, that’s how he lost his job in disaster relief.” – Mark Watson

“The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.”

A man entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did